Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 428682 times)

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1600 on: 11 September, 2019, 08:23:10 am »
I have discovered a new way to decorate.

MrsC and I lived in our York house for erm, years and never did any decorating. The boiler was replaced, leaving a hole in the wall which wasn't patched.

Smallest MsC has moved in with her husband. Two weeks. boiler boxed in, wall replastered. Upstairs room repainted. This was done in the first week.

I'm now telephoning in jobs for her to do as I remember them.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1601 on: 11 September, 2019, 08:54:34 am »
Now here's a thing: Artex (the finish, not the beta-blocker) was made using asbestos right up until Y2K, after which it "may or may not" contain the stuff.  Doing a ceiling with it is probably safer if you don't breathe.

Our interior walls are finished in what's called crépi in France: I suspect that Artex is simply an instance of the crépi class. The bloody stuff gets really bloody if you rub up against it - it's like a cheese-grater.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1602 on: 11 September, 2019, 09:26:28 am »
One thing I found out when we bought the Asbestos Palace is that asbestos is in everything made between the 1930s and the late 80s, including the ubiquitous ceiling covering. Cornflakes were probably asbestos-based for a while. There's actually no guarantee that the replacement fibrous fire-retardant materials are that much safer (this is an often overlooked problem, we replace things with known risks with things with unknown risks*), but manufacturing and handling have vastly improved through the dreaded health and safety and its insistence on saving lives.

*not an argument that we should have stopped using asbestos decades before we did, the dangers were long known, just a general principle.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1603 on: 11 September, 2019, 10:19:35 am »
Posting on behalf of my husband.

Our TV "box" stopped working. No channels, nothing. Mr fimm re-tuned several times, turned it off and back on again, nothing.
He works from home. Yesterday I got a text.
"I've solved the TV problem. I'd switched the aerial off by mistake..."

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1604 on: 11 September, 2019, 11:01:32 am »
One thing I found out when we bought the Asbestos Palace is that asbestos is in everything made between the 1930s and the late 80s, including the ubiquitous ceiling covering. Cornflakes were probably asbestos-based for a while. There's actually no guarantee that the replacement fibrous fire-retardant materials are that much safer (this is an often overlooked problem, we replace things with known risks with things with unknown risks*), but manufacturing and handling have vastly improved through the dreaded health and safety and its insistence on saving lives.

*not an argument that we should have stopped using asbestos decades before we did, the dangers were long known, just a general principle.

I suspect that while this house might have had a deal of asbestos added to it, the original building materials probably included a measure of dung.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1605 on: 12 September, 2019, 10:25:22 am »
My punishment for laughing at my husband in public...

Boss: We'd like to do <thing> in <month> - do you have any leave booked?
Me: Yes I have a couple of days off for my wedding anniversary. Errr... let me think about when that is.
<I look at the calendar. I remain confused.>
Me to boss: I'll get back to you.

The really embarrassing thing is, my birthday is on the 21st of a month, my husband's birthday is on the 21st of a month and our wedding anniversary is on the 21st of a month, so I have no excuse for not knowing when my wedding anniversary is!

(I also managed to buy a birthday card for my father while thinking about buying a card for my mother. Fortunately it is a nice landscape which I'm sure he'll like too.)

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1606 on: 12 September, 2019, 10:40:24 am »
One thing I found out when we bought the Asbestos Palace is that asbestos is in everything made between the 1930s and the late 80s, including the ubiquitous ceiling covering. Cornflakes were probably asbestos-based for a while. There's actually no guarantee that the replacement fibrous fire-retardant materials are that much safer (this is an often overlooked problem, we replace things with known risks with things with unknown risks*), but manufacturing and handling have vastly improved through the dreaded health and safety and its insistence on saving lives.

*not an argument that we should have stopped using asbestos decades before we did, the dangers were long known, just a general principle.

I suspect that while this house might have had a deal of asbestos added to it, the original building materials probably included a measure of dung.

Which has it's own inhalation hazards to be proud of.  Brucellosis, anthrax, name your pick.

As for decorating, I'm involved at the "consulting phase" where we eventually decide on which precise shade of not-quite-dove-grey or Terry-Wogan-Cardigan we'll use this year.  I DON'T do actual decorating
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1607 on: 12 September, 2019, 12:51:57 pm »
My punishment for laughing at my husband in public...

Boss: We'd like to do <thing> in <month> - do you have any leave booked?
Me: Yes I have a couple of days off for my wedding anniversary. Errr... let me think about when that is.
<I look at the calendar. I remain confused.>
Me to boss: I'll get back to you.

The really embarrassing thing is, my birthday is on the 21st of a month, my husband's birthday is on the 21st of a month and our wedding anniversary is on the 21st of a month, so I have no excuse for not knowing when my wedding anniversary is!

(I also managed to buy a birthday card for my father while thinking about buying a card for my mother. Fortunately it is a nice landscape which I'm sure he'll like too.)

Ah, yes.  I once forgot my fathers birthday. It was the day before mine. My wedding anniversary I remember as being the day before stepsons. This I remember because of the rain soaked barbecue the day after our wedding!
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1608 on: 12 September, 2019, 01:37:38 pm »
I know the date of my wedding anniversary, and I remember the event, but I couldn't possibly tell you what year it happened (some time between 2000 and 2006 is my best guess).
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1609 on: 12 September, 2019, 01:56:05 pm »
My punishment for laughing at my husband in public...

Boss: We'd like to do <thing> in <month> - do you have any leave booked?
Me: Yes I have a couple of days off for my wedding anniversary. Errr... let me think about when that is.
<I look at the calendar. I remain confused.>
Me to boss: I'll get back to you.

The really embarrassing thing is, my birthday is on the 21st of a month, my husband's birthday is on the 21st of a month and our wedding anniversary is on the 21st of a month, so I have no excuse for not knowing when my wedding anniversary is!

(I also managed to buy a birthday card for my father while thinking about buying a card for my mother. Fortunately it is a nice landscape which I'm sure he'll like too.)

My recommendation. An anniversary gift of a custom commissioned plate from someone like Josie Firmin http://www.cosmochina.co.uk/ , with the date of your wedding around the edge. This then forms an extraordinarily useful reference point for the chronologically challenged.

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1610 on: 12 September, 2019, 02:17:26 pm »
I confess I had to open Photos and look at the date on our wedding snaps (2005, eek!) to work it out. Metadata to the rescue.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1611 on: 12 September, 2019, 02:24:23 pm »
As for decorating, I'm involved at the "consulting phase" where we eventually decide on which precise shade of not-quite-dove-grey or Terry-Wogan-Cardigan we'll use this year.  I DON'T do actual decorating

I'm fixing up our hall wall where the dogs ate it in their infancy. They're almost 10 now: I'm that keen.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1612 on: 12 September, 2019, 06:09:27 pm »
I confess I had to open Photos and look at the date on our wedding snaps (2005, eek!) to work it out. Metadata to the rescue.

Or even actual data; I've been known to check the calendar event for the civilisation itself.

Mrs Pingu

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1613 on: 12 September, 2019, 08:21:24 pm »
I got to work and realised I had no trousers this morning.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1614 on: 12 September, 2019, 10:46:42 pm »
BTDTGTTS (but not the trousers).
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1615 on: 12 September, 2019, 10:54:32 pm »
Slightly better than going to York without your trousers.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1616 on: 13 September, 2019, 08:35:57 am »
Slightly better than going to York without your trousers.

https://youtu.be/InGkUbuUspQ
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1617 on: 13 September, 2019, 08:54:03 am »
whole new thread opportunity "where's the best place to have forgotten your trousers"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1618 on: 20 September, 2019, 07:28:11 pm »
I managed to arrange to bunk off the last day of this training in NL, so Wednesday I looked for an alternative to my flight back @ 20:00 from Schipol. BA appeared to be upwards of £200, but I'm CLEVER, I am, so I went onto Kayak. Look! a flight at 14:00 for £40! I'll have some of that. This morning, I wondered why I was not being offered on line check in. Closer examination showed that this flight was in... October.  :-[ :-[ ::-)

Subsequently managed to get a RTM-LCY for the £60 change fee, and got myself there in time.

fuzzy

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1619 on: 20 September, 2019, 08:59:39 pm »
Probably mine too, now that you mention it.  Ercol was the brand of paper in the unibog.  I remember that because I once did a treasure hunt in which one of the clues was "What is Ercol? Bring some." Everyone knew the name but no-one could remember what it was until one of the blokes went for a crap.

Izal, I think.

Ercol makes furniture.
I once saved the Ercol factory from burning down (probably/ possibly). I was on bike patrol on the opposite side of the valley from the factory. I saw a thin stream of smoke arising from the vicinity. Thin streams of smoke tended to suggest bonfores or some oik related nefarious activity so I thought I would investigate.

Once I got to the other side of the valley, I found that the smoke was issuing from within the factory grounds so I managed to through the gates and found that in the delivery area in the middle of the compund was a cardboard waste ompactor/ baler. There was a fore within the baler. I called the fire brigade and got the keyholder notified. The owner turned up just after the fire brigade and was very thankful. This was in the late 90's.

I retired in June 2014. About 18 months after I retired I recieve a letter from TVP. It was a copy of a letter from the owner. He was going through his desk and found a note to himself to write to my chief constable to say thanks. The note got trapped in the desk.

Kim

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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1620 on: 23 September, 2019, 01:27:48 pm »
On Thursday I did Gardening.  Which is to say I attacked the latest batch of triffid growth with a hedge trimmer, strimmer and glyphosate.  In addition to the usual snot and weak hands, I got a free bonus allergic welt on my upper thigh (not sure how, but presumably either a bitey beastie or piece of flying Green Stuff made it through my jeans).

Anyway, in an attempt to make this go away as quickly as possible before the weekend, I slathered it in hydrocortisone, and then stuck a dressing over it so it wouldn't get rubbed off by my trousers.

I now have a big circular welt, stellated by four rectangular ones where I've had an allergic reaction to the adhesive.   :facepalm:

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1621 on: 23 September, 2019, 01:33:29 pm »
Bonus points for making me look up stellated. Kim is always educational.    :thumbsup:
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1622 on: 23 September, 2019, 01:46:12 pm »
You'll be wanting one of these, next https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mfz1YrpMbBg

Kim

  • Timelord
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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1623 on: 23 September, 2019, 01:47:04 pm »
You'll be wanting one of these, next https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mfz1YrpMbBg

Fairly sure that would be safer.

Andrij

  • Андрій
  • Ερασιτεχνικός μισάνθρωπος
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1624 on: 23 September, 2019, 02:20:44 pm »
You'll be wanting one of these, next https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mfz1YrpMbBg

What could possibly go wrong  this method?  https://youtu.be/07rtBip9ixk
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup: