Your house rules

[marcusjb]

I think this is the most awesome thing I've heard all year. 

Awesome!

Clearly you could change the rules for your house and ban the word awesome!

(Awesome gets used in our household a lot - one of the downsides of sharing your life with a leftpondian!)

[Kim]

After some debate, barakta and I have agreed that we operate a de-facto toilet-seat-down rule.  I am however compelled to point out that for optimal efficiency toilet seats should ideally be left in the state that you last used them, and be frobbed as necessary by the next user.  Anyone sitting on a toilet without first performing a cursory visual inspection deserves whatever they get, IMHO.

[clarion]

Rule No.1  Men Sit Down (whatever purpose they went to the toilet for)

[barakta]

After some debate, barakta and I have agreed that we operate a de-facto toilet-seat-down rule.  I am however compelled to point out that for optimal efficiency toilet seats should ideally be left in the state that you last used them, and be frobbed as necessary by the next user.  Anyone sitting on a toilet without first performing a cursory visual inspection deserves whatever they get, IMHO.

I don't think this counts as agreeing!  This is weaselling!

[barakta]

Clearly you could change the rules for your house and ban the word awesome!

(Awesome gets used in our household a lot - one of the downsides of sharing your life with a leftpondian!)

I *LIKE* the word awesome, and don't understand people who don't like it.

Then again I say FTW and FTL at work and get funny looks for it.

[Clare]

1) Do NOT harm the spiders, spiders are our friends.
2) If you happen to catch a fly, feed the spiders.
3) BRING WINE
4) and chocolate.
5) Pour the fucking wine.
6) There is no rule 6.
7) If the glass is empty pour some more wine into it.
Pour. The. Fucking. Wine.
9) Thank you.

[jogler]

EDIT: Or celery.

You don't need a rule for that, that's like saying 'no murder'.
Although murder is probably OK if you do it cleanly and quietly.

< jogler scrubs celery off this weeks Tesco list>

 

[marcusjb]

Clearly you could change the rules for your house and ban the word awesome!

(Awesome gets used in our household a lot - one of the downsides of sharing your life with a leftpondian!)

I *LIKE* the word awesome, and don't understand people who don't like it.

Then again I say FTW and FTL at work and get funny looks for it.

I don't really mind it (good job really with a New Yorker in the house).

We have very few 'rules' really. All sorts of jobs that have ended up being done by a specific one of us - but hardly rules.

Whoever cooks, the other does the washing up

Ooh, just thought of two rules we do have - and one of them I really hate.

For both kitchen gadgets and bikes - we are currently on a one in, one out rule. It is barbaric I know!

[Pancho]

No rules here.

That said, I'm not very tolerant and may tell you to stop it if I don't like it.

@Clarion: stand up, man!

[jogler]

No smoking in the house
Chill out

and.....

no outside shoes in the lounge
It's a carpet colour thing

[Mrs Pingu]

No smoking in the house
Chill out

and.....

no outside shoes in the lounge
It's a carpet colour thing

Oh yeah, no shoes. Our neighbour has a coal fire and I was somewhat upset when I found fossil fuel ground into the new biscuit carpet.

[Mrs Pingu]

1) Do NOT harm the spiders, spiders are our friends.
2) If you happen to catch a fly, feed the spiders.
3) BRING WINE
4) and chocolate.
5) Pour the fucking wine.
6) There is no rule 6.
7) If the glass is empty pour some more wine into it.
Pour. The. Fucking. Wine.
9) Thank you.

Yes to all but for #1 see bees.
And - if you see a wasp don't run about like a headless chicken and for gawdsake don't flap at it. Failure to comply may result in instant dismissal.

[rogerzilla]

After some debate, barakta and I have agreed that we operate a de-facto toilet-seat-down rule.  I am however compelled to point out that for optimal efficiency toilet seats should ideally be left in the state that you last used them, and be frobbed as necessary by the next user.  Anyone sitting on a toilet without first performing a cursory visual inspection deserves whatever they get, IMHO.

Kim, I love you and want you to have my babies.

[rogerzilla]

Oh yeah, no shoes. Our neighbour has a coal fire and I was somewhat upset when I found fossil fuel ground into the new biscuit carpet.

Finding biscuit ground into a charcoal carpet is equally upsetting.

[clarion]

No rules here.

That said, I'm not very tolerant and may tell you to stop it if I don't like it.

@Clarion: stand up, man!

I'm guessing you're not the one who cleans the bathroom after children have been in there?

[Jurek]

Shoes to be deposited outside.
No water or food in the inner. 
Inner to be 'hoovered' at least once a week.
No touching the sides when it's raining.
Nothing heavy to be placed in internal pockets.
In bear/raccoon country, food and smellies to be stored properly outside.

(Our house is a tent  )

Made me LOL Big time, I need to read the rest of the chaff.... 

[Butterfly]

How are you supposed to read and aim if you stand up?

MY rules:
Do the laundry my way or let me do it.
Sort the rubbish.
If you want it cleaned or ironed, help yourself to the hoover/duster or iron.
I'm a skinflint - don't do the laundry between 7am and 10pm.
Don't kill anything in the house except ants.
Don't kill anything outside except slugs.
No more than 4 bikes in the kitchen unless they are drying before going in the dining room (and preferably no more than 2).
No more than one tandem in the hall unless they are in the process of swapping places.
No smoking in the house.
Don't use the drier in the summer (except for Ronhill DXB renewal).

EDIT: No TV.
There may be more.

[Fab Foodie]

Absolutely no soap operas or the tellybox goes out the window.
This is the only rule I've managed to maintain in the house.
Bog flushing seat cleaning tea-bag leaving public space shagging and wanking dirty shoes-bikes-dogs and celery pale into insignificance compared to the not having soap operas rule.

[rogerzilla]

public space shagging and wanking dirty shoes-bikes-dogs and celery

Out there in cyberspace, a Googlewhacker has just struck the motherlode.

[Jaded]

Oh yeah, no shoes. Our neighbour has a coal fire and I was somewhat upset when I found fossil fuel ground into the new biscuit carpet.

If one is going to stamp on biscuits to make a carpet, one should only use old biscuits.

[Hot Flatus]

Nobody ever, ever, ever tidies my office. OK?

Including me.

He's not kidding



Bit of a grey area as to where the landing stops and the office begins

[Panoramix]

I have been trying to enforce a "don't tidy up on my behalf" rule without luck!

[Kim]

Oh yeah, no shoes. Our neighbour has a coal fire and I was somewhat upset when I found fossil fuel ground into the new biscuit carpet.

Ah yes.  My rule's more like "The whole point in owning an industrial turbo nutter bastard vacuum cleaner is so I can keep my shoes on.  Feel free to do the same, unless they're actually covered in something nasty."  We're relatively fortunate in having hard wearing pre-stained dirt-coloured carpets, though.

I reckon that people in bare feet should forfeit the right to moan about the state of the kitchen floor, but that got vetoed.

[Jaded]

Nobody ever, ever, ever tidies my office. OK?

Including me.

He's not kidding



Bit of a grey area as to where the landing stops and the office begins

No landing now.

<phones those mad house clearing reality TV people things>

[iddu]

:
No more than 4 bikes in the kitchen unless they are drying before going in the dining room (and preferably no more than 2).
No more than one tandem in the hall unless they are in the process of swapping places.
:

Ohhh, gotta free sister? Lucky man, Mr C