Author Topic: the food rant thread (Read 230445 times)

citoyen · « **Reply #1425 on:** 14 January, 2019, 12:35:15 pm »

Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on 14 January, 2019, 09:50:37 am

Pot noodles, just like crisps, have gone posh. You've seen the umpty different hi-cuisine Japanese impostors?

I've discovered an instant noodle product that's even more downmarket than Pot Noodle - the brand is Kabuto and they sell them for 25p a packet in my local branch of Home Bargains.

They're great. I usually keep a supply in reserve for instant lunches when I CBA to eat anything with nutritional value.

ian · « **Reply #1426 on:** 14 January, 2019, 12:42:59 pm »

There's nothing wrong with pot noodles really, though I confess I've not had one for an age. I did have to be dragged from the selection in the Coop through (£1.25 for a Bombay Bad Boy). I'm sure we survived on them as students, I have fond memories of slurping down 'chicken' curry pot noodles.

You want posh though. I've hit the motherlode. Red Leicester Cheddars. Fucking awesome.

Jurek · « **Reply #1427 on:** 14 January, 2019, 01:08:52 pm »

Quote from: citoyen on 14 January, 2019, 12:35:15 pm

Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on 14 January, 2019, 09:50:37 am
Pot noodles, just like crisps, have gone posh. You've seen the umpty different hi-cuisine Japanese impostors?

I've discovered an instant noodle product that's even more downmarket than Pot Noodle - the brand is Kabuto and they sell them for 25p a packet in my local branch of Home Bargains.

They're great. I usually keep a supply in reserve for instant lunches when I CBA to eat anything with nutritional value.

You managed to resist the siren call of the M&S food hall next door, in favour of Home Bargains.
That takes some doing

citoyen · « **Reply #1428 on:** 14 January, 2019, 01:17:56 pm »

Quote from: Jurek on 14 January, 2019, 01:08:52 pm

You managed to resist the siren call of the M&S food hall next door, in favour of Home Bargains.
That takes some doing

The new retail park is perfect - Aldi, M&S and Home Bargains in a row, that's all the boxes ticked. And it's only a mile from my front door.

They're building a Pets at Home next door as well now, so that'll be the dog catered for too.

ian · « **Reply #1429 on:** 14 January, 2019, 01:28:02 pm »

If you're really lucky you'll also have ready access to a Frankie & Benny's.

citoyen · « **Reply #1430 on:** 14 January, 2019, 01:29:11 pm »

No, but there's a Harvester very nearby. #winning

fuzzy · « **Reply #1431 on:** 15 January, 2019, 12:11:48 am »

Quote from: Torslanda on 14 January, 2019, 09:03:16 am

Quote from: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on 09 January, 2019, 11:28:45 pm
I am An Heathen as far as eating out goes. TGI Friday? Check. Nando's? Check. Planet Hollywood? Check. Mel's Diner? Check Noodle Bar? Check. Wimpy? Check McDonalds? Check, KFC? Check. Levi Roots (Stratford)? Check. Bills? Check. Harvester? Check. Toby Jug? Check. Tom Kerridges Hand and Flowers? Check. Pizza Hut? Check. Zizzi? Check. Loads more.

I have had some quite edible food in some of the crap chain restraunt/ gastropubbe places. I have eaten some crap in places that should know better.

I think after 6 years of COMPO rations contaminated with Salisbury Plain/ Otterburn sheep and cattle shit and 26 years of full rotating shift grabbing a kebab/ pizza/ pasty/ whatever between punch ups, stabbings, shootings, fatal road traffic accidents, suicides, beligerant puking shitting drunks, over Pimmsed Royal Ascot/ Henley Reggata goers and off their tits on whatever they could snort/ smoke/ inject festival lovers, my innards are fairly hardened.

All of which is the height of culinary excellence but you omitted to add Pot Noodle and Findus Crispy Pancakes...

You mean there is an eating out establishment that offers Pot Noodles and Crispy Pancakes on the menu? Where have they been all my life

In fact, I have just had a culinary idea- Crispy Noodle Pancake! Watch out Masterchef- here I come

Kim · « **Reply #1432 on:** 15 January, 2019, 12:18:52 am »

Someone (possibly ian) should open a tragic hipster restaurant that serves the culinary delights of an 80s childhood (or at least the toned-down modern approximations thereof, now that half the ingredients have been banned). Anything with a catchy jingle or sugar in the top-three ingredients, basically.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #1433 on:** 15 January, 2019, 12:41:43 am »

Ready Brek. Because we're going to have an orange glow Ready Breksit, of course.

citoyen · « **Reply #1434 on:** 15 January, 2019, 08:22:46 am »

Quote from: Kim on 15 January, 2019, 12:18:52 am

Someone (possibly ian) should open a tragic hipster restaurant that serves the culinary delights of an 80s childhood (or at least the toned-down modern approximations thereof, now that half the ingredients have been banned). Anything with a catchy jingle or sugar in the top-three ingredients, basically.

It’s been done - at least in fictional form, in Adrian Mole: The Cappuccino Years.

And that came out before the term hipster was used to refer to anything other than a style of pant.

ian · « **Reply #1435 on:** 15 January, 2019, 08:14:59 pm »

That's a pretty cool idea, I'd definitely go anywhere that served crispy pancakes and potato waffles. One of the (few) reasons I'm looking forward to going back to the office for a couple of days a week is so I can sit and eat Monster Munch sandwiches. It's true, I used to have shame, but our relationship broke down and it left. I got to keep the record collection.

Reminds me that someone sent me a Youtube link to an effervescent young Canadian woman eating her first pork pie. While I appreciate this sounds like toply peculiar sexual fantasy, it's not. She also tries pork scratchings, monster munch, and bread and butter pudding amongst many other elements of fine British dining. It's all strangely beguiling and very difficult to explain to one's spouse. Is it wrong to send a stranger a Cornish pasty?

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #1436 on:** 15 January, 2019, 08:18:54 pm »

If the stranger is Devonian, yes.

Kim · « **Reply #1437 on:** 15 January, 2019, 11:54:35 pm »

I think I've seen that video. Did it end with them getting horribly confused by Yorkshire puddings?

Jaded · « **Reply #1438 on:** 16 January, 2019, 06:04:57 am »

Have we had Vesta curries yet?

ian · « **Reply #1439 on:** 16 January, 2019, 09:38:14 am »

Quote from: Kim on 15 January, 2019, 11:54:35 pm

I think I've seen that video. Did it end with them getting horribly confused by Yorkshire puddings?

I think she does user requests, so I'm sure Yorkshire puddings have come up, I've not watched them all. The segue between horror and delight as she tries Scampi Fries is quite awesome to behold. They sound so bad, yet taste soooo good.

Sadly, when I lived in Canada, the internet was still discovering video so I couldn't film myself eating poutine.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #1440 on:** 16 January, 2019, 09:39:40 am »

You ate Putin? We probably don't want to know that.

ian · « **Reply #1441 on:** 16 January, 2019, 09:47:50 am »

Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on 16 January, 2019, 09:39:40 am

You ate Putin? We probably don't want to know that.

There's not enough cheese in the world to make Putin palatable.

Torslanda · « **Reply #1442 on:** 16 January, 2019, 09:51:45 am »

Quote from: Jaded on 16 January, 2019, 06:04:57 am

Have we had Vesta curries yet?

Pushing against an open door there.

Food of the Gods!

Jaded · « **Reply #1443 on:** 16 January, 2019, 10:07:54 am »

fuzzy · « **Reply #1444 on:** 17 January, 2019, 12:14:37 pm »

I work with a youth who regularly brings leftover pizza to work for his lunch.

He reheats it

T42 · « **Reply #1445 on:** 17 January, 2019, 12:54:54 pm »

On diagonales I liked to have most of a pizza about an hour before reaching our hotel, then have the rest cold for breakfast.

hellymedic · « **Reply #1446 on:** 17 January, 2019, 01:43:23 pm »

I eat cold pizza for lunch the day after We haven't finished our evening meal.

ian · « **Reply #1447 on:** 19 January, 2019, 08:10:59 pm »

You've not lived until you've staggered out of bed on Sunday morning to find an open box of your flatmates' previous evening's haggis pizza waiting for you in the kitchen. You have to punch yourself in the nads to confirm that it's not, in fact, some horrid nightmare you've yet to surface from. Hobbes, cat and chief executive of our flat, would be on top of the central heating boiler looking down disdainfully. This what you humans eat. No, no, my furry friend, it's what Scottish humans eat.

It was marginally better than the congealed kebab pizza they sometimes left, I suppose.

And yes, they'd eat it. Scottish humans, Hobbes, Scottish humans.

fuzzy · « **Reply #1448 on:** 20 January, 2019, 09:45:55 am »

I always thought cold pizza washed down with room temperature flat lager was the morning after the night before breakfast of champions?

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #1449 on:** 20 January, 2019, 12:09:29 pm »

I've had a Cosmo pizza with haggis on it from the supermarket before. It was ok.