Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists

[Feline]

Brilliant news Ben 

[benborp]

Oops, seem to be hogging the thread. Got shouted at today as I boarded my bus home. I took an interest probably because I am a cyclist. He had been sat beside the bike in the rack for a couple of minutes when I asked him if everything was alright. Apparently he has an uncontrollable urge to defeat combination locks. He's not a bike thief. This is something he confirms by shouting "Oh my God! A bike thief. Somebody call the police! You idiot!"

I just asked if he was OK. Unfortunately this seemed to cause him to lose concentration on his uncontrollable urge and made me an idiot. What can I do?

[CrinklyLion]

Be glad that you aren't him?

[Gandalf]

Two today, I had a 'I still can't see you'- presumably a response to my Ayups & Magicshine combo..well it was foggy innit.

And an 'oi paedo'.  Oh The delights of finishing work early, when the cheeky little bleeders are still on their way home.

[Kim]

Oh we had a lovely welcome back to Birmingham from an oik on a canal bridge towards the end of the tunnel ride on Saturday.  I couldn't make out what was said, other than plenty of f-words, but the tone was delightfully abusive, and I was generally glad that there wasn't access to the canal from that particular bridge.

Mind you, we also saw a front blinky flashing away in the middle of the canal (it was too dark to see if there was a bike attached).  We decided it was probably best not to hang around and investigate.

[SlowCoach]

From the driver who pulled out in front of me this morning from a side road (not a problem because I was half expecting him to do it, anyway and had anticipated the emergency stop):

"Sorry mate I couldn't see you 'cos your lights are too f...ing bright!"

I give up...

[clarion]

[greenmeansgo]

"Sorry mate I couldn't see you 'cos your lights are too f...ing bright you're too visible!"

Sounds like SMIDGAF to me!

[InTokyo]

didn't read the whole thread but, essentially I think we can say 'some things never change then'

this never happens here. call it manners, torpidity, or whatever. sometimes the odd traffic cop blowing his whistle and megaphoning something about bikes not being allowed to turn right at that junction. but otherwise, a blissful silence.

otherwise of course, the place is terrible.

I haven't been 'home' for a few years, and I wondered if the general pubic UK attitude to cycling had changed at all, with the Boris Bikes, and the super performance in recent athletic events. but sadly it still seems hampered by a multitude of tw@ts, judging by these recent events?

[Kim]

I haven't been 'home' for a few years, and I wondered if the general pubic UK attitude to cycling had changed at all, with the Boris Bikes, and the super performance in recent athletic events. but sadly it still seems hampered by a multitude of tw@ts, judging by these recent events?

It has, in that the zombies are shouting "Come on Wiggo!" or "Don't you know the Olympics are over?" rather than the usual "Cyclewankers!"

More seriously, I'd say that the vast majority of the stuff I have shouted at me is positive or humorous.  But I often ride a recumbent, which is unusual and interesting.  On a DF bike I'm much less visible, and any shouting is more likely to be abusive.

And I reckon there are (still) more people on bikes.  At least in Birmingham, where things are a lot more car-centric than London.  How much of this is the Olympics and how much is the change in the University's parking policy I can't say...

[InTokyo]

I haven't been 'home' for a few years, and I wondered if the general pubic UK attitude to cycling had changed at all, with the Boris Bikes, and the super performance in recent athletic events. but sadly it still seems hampered by a multitude of tw@ts, judging by these recent events?

It has, in that the zombies are shouting "Come on Wiggo!" or "Don't you know the Olympics are over?" rather than the usual "Cyclewankers!"

More seriously, I'd say that the vast majority of the stuff I have shouted at me is positive or humorous.  But I often ride a recumbent, which is unusual and interesting.  On a DF bike I'm much less visible, and any shouting is more likely to be abusive.

And I reckon there are (still) more people on bikes.  At least in Birmingham, where things are a lot more car-centric than London.  How much of this is the Olympics and how much is the change in the University's parking policy I can't say...

the recumbent holds the key to the locked door of laughter

this is shorthand for 'I'd love one'

[Trailrat]

I haven't read the whole thread but the several pages I have reaad have made me feel like contributing.

For instance the time I was passing a bus stop and some oik sat at the said bus stop enquired to my wealth and the ability to acquire a motor vehicle with said lack of wealth!

Also being trans gets some hilarious responses like "you know that's a girl's bike, mate" and "get a hair cut"

Though telling one bloke he couldn't afford me when he asked me to perform lewd acts on a small part of his anatomy might have been a stupid idea when stationary at a set of lights!

[the vicar]

 I did have a helpful mini van driver tell me 'You're supposed to ride BETWEEN the yellow lines!' (Oh so that's what they're there for) I think he was being serious...............

On having a response ready, I've only managed it once. I'd carried a line from a sit com in a corner my brain for well over a  decade when the chance came to use it. I was visiting my girlfriend and had just parked the motorbike outside her block of Georgian apartments when a door opened and a voice said 'You can't leave that here!'
Not believing my luck I instantly replied 'I'm not leaving it here, I'm taking it with me when I go'
Nonplussed silence followed by 'Oh....that's all right then' and the door quietly closes. Ah bliss!
 

[Auntie Helen]

Recumberating through Greenstead a man waved madly at me and then shouted "Around the world in 80 days!"

[Wild Rover]

Not an 'oik', but riding along the Moretonhampstead - Bovey Tracey road a few days ago, I had an unexpected turn of speed and overtook another cyclist going up a short, sharp rise. I greeted him with a cheery 'Morning!', to which he replied ' You wait until you are in your forties, you won't be so quick up the hills then'.

Which put me in a quandary - do I keep up the momentum or do I slow down and inform him that I'm actually almost 58?

I carried on. Albeit with a rather smug grin.

[Jacomus]

Not an 'oik', but riding along the Moretonhampstead - Bovey Tracey road a few days ago, I had an unexpected turn of speed and overtook another cyclist going up a short, sharp rise. I greeted him with a cheery 'Morning!', to which he replied ' You wait until you are in your forties, you won't be so quick up the hills then'.

Which put me in a quandary - do I keep up the momentum or do I slow down and inform him that I'm actually almost 58?

I carried on. Albeit with a rather smug grin.

 

[Adam]

In the last 2 months, I've now heard something I've never previously heard shouted in umpteen years of cycling.  It's been directed to me once and I've heard it shouted twice at other cyclists, when I've been walking nearby.

The person has shouted out "where's your helmet".  I don't know if this is due to Joe Public seeing more professional cyclists on TV/Olympics and equating helmet use as being the norm.   

Anyone else been abused in this way?

[Kim]

A few times.

Most notably, this incident:

...there was that time I found myself behind a taxi in stop-start traffic, when a child of maybe 6 or 7 years old appeared in the rear window and decided to lecture me on the importance of wearing a helmet, and that I should ride on the pavement for my own safety, in fluent BSL.  Sadly I had too much steering and braking to do to have much of a debate.   

[Tim Hall]

I had it a few years ago. Small child leant out of front passenger window hollering that I should be wearing a helmet. I caught them at the next lights and asked the driver (a) to keep his passenger under control and (b) where his seatbelt was.

[Wowbagger]

Why not just whack 'em on the head with your trusty Zefal and then ask where theirs is?

[Perky]

Received my first white van man outburst today.  Cycling along Cardiff Road, Watford, towards the junction with Occupation Road.  In primary.  Typical congested victorian terrace; cars parked both sides of the road, too tight for a car to pass me safely.  Van up my arse for about 50m.  I'm doing about 15 mph.  As I turn into Occupation Road van continues straight on towards the industrial estate and driver shouts out...

wait for it...

it's a classic... 

"You were in the middle of the road mate". 

Now I know it's sometimes hard to think of something when the boots on the other foot and something happens in a flash, such as a ped stepping into the road, and I normally find myself resorting to "Don't mind me then" when caught by surprise, but the van driver had at least 10 seconds to think of something witty to say.   Strangely I feel somewhat disappointed.   

[ian]

Received my first white van man outburst today.  Cycling along Cardiff Road, Watford, towards the junction with Occupation Road.  In primary.  Typical congested victorian terrace; cars parked both sides of the road, too tight for a car to pass me safely.  Van up my arse for about 50m.  I'm doing about 15 mph.  As I turn into Occupation Road van continues straight on towards the industrial estate and driver shouts out...

wait for it...

it's a classic... 

"You were in the middle of the road mate". 

Now I know it's sometimes hard to think of something when the boots on the other foot and something happens in a flash, such as a ped stepping into the road, and I normally find myself resorting to "Don't mind me then" when caught by surprise, but the van driver had at least 10 seconds to think of something witty to say.   Strangely I feel somewhat disappointed.   

I got the other WVM classic the other weekend.

"Wot, you fink you own the road." (This because he had to wait for seconds behind me in the approach to a solid line of traffic at the lights, no one was going anywhere. Of course, despite the fact that I was stopped in primary, he had to wedge his van level with me so he could shout through the passenger window, in the process blocking traffic on the other side of the road at the same time.)

I don't usually bother interfacing with drivers, especially van drivers evidently on their way to a Palace match, but everything was snarled up Croydon-way and neither of us were going anywhere, so I told him that "yes, considering our likely divergent incomes, and the consequent amount of additional tax I pay as as result, I think I could make good claim to owning more of this road than you."

This seemed to stop him. After due consideration and meshing of cognitive gears, he finally responded.

"Are you fucking gay?"

Anyway, it seemed he wasn't propositioning me, and he took great offense for some reason that I'd arrived at that conclusion. I scooted off quickly down a side street, he was turning a tomatoey colour.

[Wowbagger]

You could have saved some breath and called him a pleb. 

[Basil]

"Are you fucking gay?"

As an "Older Person", people aren't usually interested in my sexuality, but I did get the "Why are you dressed like a gay?" a few weeks back.
The only response I could come up with was "Because I am gay", which turned out to be quite a good one, as it left the idiot totally perplexed and unable to think of anything else to add. 

[Martin 14]

Not an 'oik', but riding along the Moretonhampstead - Bovey Tracey road a few days ago, I had an unexpected turn of speed and overtook another cyclist going up a short, sharp rise. I greeted him with a cheery 'Morning!', to which he replied ' You wait until you are in your forties, you won't be so quick up the hills then'.

Which put me in a quandary - do I keep up the momentum or do I slow down and inform him that I'm actually almost 58?

I carried on. Albeit with a rather smug grin.

lol............love it