Weird/funny dreams you've had

[tiermat]

Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Arrrrgh! NO! nononono, there is so so much wrong with that film, I don't know where to start*

*OK, having Rick Moranis in it is a good place to start, then the really really bad puns on character names.  Come on, "Dark Helmet" "Yoghurt" etc etc...

[Kim]

Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Galaxy Quest?

Is a Star Trek satire.  If you can't tell the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars, then you're fully qualified to write geek characters for mainstream comedy, I suppose.

[Kim]

Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Arrrrgh! NO! nononono, there is so so much wrong with that film, I don't know where to start*

*OK, having Rick Moranis in it is a good place to start, then the really really bad puns on character names.  Come on, "Dark Helmet" "Yoghurt" etc etc...

It's Mel Brooks doing what Mel Brooks does best.  I have plenty of issues with Blazing Saddles, too, but it's a certain type of humour flawlessly executed.

And let's be realistic here: Spaceballs is a far better film than The Phantom Menace.   

[Cudzoziemiec]

Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Arrrrgh! NO! nononono, there is so so much wrong with that film, I don't know where to start*

*OK, having Rick Moranis in it is a good place to start, then the really really bad puns on character names.  Come on, "Dark Helmet" "Yoghurt" etc etc...

As if the original Star Wars character names are not themselves really bad puns!

[tiermat]

Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Arrrrgh! NO! nononono, there is so so much wrong with that film, I don't know where to start*

*OK, having Rick Moranis in it is a good place to start, then the really really bad puns on character names.  Come on, "Dark Helmet" "Yoghurt" etc etc...

It's Mel Brooks doing what Mel Brooks does best.  I have plenty of issues with Blazing Saddles, too, but it's a certain type of humour flawlessly executed.

And let's be realistic here: Spaceballs is a far better film than The Phantom Menace.   

Lesbian Vampires from Outer Space* is better than The Phantom Menace.

*Yes, it is a real film, no I have no idea where to get a copy from and yes, I am still traumatised from watching it (due to the absolute naffness of it, it wasn't even naff enough to be good**, it was just naff)

**Unlike Repoman which is so naff it is not only good, it deservedly has earned the title of cult.

[fuzzy]

Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Galaxy Quest?

Is a Star Trek satire.  If you can't tell the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars, then you're fully qualified to write geek characters for mainstream comedy, I suppose.

My Bad- I should have read the Star Wars satire instead of assuming Sci Fi satire.

[L CC]

Not mine, but No2Son's. I was just asking him if the dehumidifier was a kind of white noise helping him sleep (it's right outside his bedroom door) or invading his dreams when he told me he dreamt I woke him up to go to the toilet, but it was all ok because the dehumidifier was in his bed.

[clarion]

We had dinner with Jimi Hendrix.  He explained he had given up music totally, and was not going to write any more novels now, as he was tired of fame.

[Ruth]

I had skin cancer, and one of the plastic surgeons offered to whip all my melanomas off in the lunch break, only it turned out it'd spread and I only had weeks to live.

I woke up and thought, 'I hope my dressings have stayed on in the night, and I'll need to let the kids know', and then realised it was a dream 

[fuzzy]

Former bike patrol crewmate Jenks and I were doing close security at a transfer or art treasures (Suit, tie, black overcoats, black leather gloves, wiggly earpieces, mirror shades- you know the drill). Many priceless painting were being moved from a gallery in London, each packed in their individual beaten aluminium security cases (James Bond Q Division stylee).

The next thing I know, Jenks has swifted two of the cases away and stashed them in the boot of our getaway car. Cue a chase through the streets of London with me driving like Jason 'Transporter' Statham and giving the Met the slip before grabbing a case each and legging it through gardens and parks and tube stations with various helicopters and dogs and armed units in hot pursuit.

We manage to avoid The Filth and take to our warehouse bolt hole for a beer and a kip.

I wake up the next morning to find Jenks and one painting gone but I seem to be expecting this. I grab my painting and exit the warehouse to find that I have walked out of the front door of a Gite in France and onto the platform of a railway station

I wander around for a bit, looking at my mobile phone, wanting to call Jenks as arranged but knowing that, cos it is a job phone, as soon as I  make the call I'm done for. Meanwhile the phone is beeping and burping and making really odd noises. I decide to dump the phone and walk to the nearest village to steal a car. I walk for about 20 minutes and find myself on the Britwell Estate in Slough.

My mobile phone has magically appeared in my pocket again and starts to go off at which point I realise the alarm is telling me it is time to get up.....

[woollypigs]

Last night: Don't know what Peli was dreaming, but who ever it was she was dreaming about was getting a stern telling off by the look of her wagging finger

[Kim]

Took some codeine for the knee last night, and had an epic dream with a Jonathan-Creek-esque plot involving a disappearing train, a suspicious rabbit, compressed air and artful timing.

[Juan Martín]

Last night I found that I had been selected to represent the school in some form of liaison role with the headmaster. The HM, who was Ludovic Kennedy took me out to lunch and was a very nice chap. As you might expect.

[woollypigs]

I was telling a customer in my dream that if he had 3 grand + to spare wanted a good MTB he should look at brands like CUBE, PACE, Principia or Clare Balding mountain bikes.

That was so bizarre that I woke myself up going WTF!!!

[Torslanda]

A few nights ago I was subject to a harrowing dream in which I was involved in a Russian/Ukrainian uprising. Found myself in a landlocked shipyard where a ship had been half finished then turned into an office building by surrounding it with breeze block walls up to around the waterline and beyond. The portholes had been replaced with large picture windows . . .

I'm not sure what my part was but at some stage I was definitely holding a movie camera, following this guy from the FSB/KGB who was going around killing people, crowds of people, using a sound generator like a walkie-talkie. He had earplugs in and slayed the congregation of a church at the touch of a button. People screamed and held their heads before dropping dead.

Woke about 4 or 5 in the morning wringing wet and totally failed to go back to sleep. Suggestions?

[Asterix, the former Gaul.]

Don't watch the late night news programmes and as Jonathan Ross would say "Don't have nightmares, do sleep well"?

My last such dream was a trip to London.  The whole place was decaying and when, on foot, I tried to cross the road it was impossible because of all the red light jumping vehicles, all of which looked likes American cars of the 50s and 60s. 

As I was walking along, on the other side of the Thames I could see this huge building the size of Battersea Power station engulfed in white smoke against a backdrop of dark clouds.  No one seemed to notice but I thought it looked rather good and  started to take a photograph.  Suddenly everyone else started doing the same.  There was an explosion, the whole thing collapsed and there was massive sheet of flame sent into the sky.  Soon the pavement turned to a marshy track and either side there stacks of corpses wrapped in shrouds and rotting into a creek.

The Ukraine business is pretty worrying.  My cold war warrior cousin wrote me an email 3 or 4 weeks ago containing correspondence between him and a Belgian journalist.  A conversation it contained with the journalist contained an incidental exchange that made it clear they expected a major escalation. My cousin's son is a fluent Russian speaker with many business associates in Russia.  I wonder what they think now but I am not sure I'd like the answer.. 

[Wowbagger]

I spend quite a bit of time asleep in a chair. Just now was no exception. I was having a dream in which I was playing table tennis. I have no idea why - I used to play a bit of table tennis in the early 1970s when I was at college, but I don't remember playing since.

I woke myself up when I executed an enormous smash. Luckily my right hand was already resting on my desk otherwise I think I would have broken some bones.

[woollypigs]

Peli fell asleep next to me while I was reading. I let slip a bit of wind, no thunder clap just a little rumble. Peli sat up and went "where is the train?" Now, what she was dreaming about, I never figured out because as soon I assured her that there was no train, she was fast counting sheep. Until I farted again and she was train spotting again

[Kim]

Mr Arch, recycling smoke alarms.

Then I woke up and discovered it was doing its mysterious battery error thing again. 

[Gattopardo]

Peli fell asleep next to me while I was reading. I let slip a bit of wind, no thunder clap just a little rumble. Peli sat up and went "where is the train?" Now, what she was dreaming about, I never figured out because as soon I assured her that there was no train, she was fast counting sheep. Until I farted again and she was train spotting again

chuffs sounding like chuff chuff.

[Riggers]

Decided I needed to clean my teeth, so pulled them all out and discovered something – they are all individually connected by chains to a necklace. I was then worried I wouldn't be able to get them back in my mouth, and must phone the dentist.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Would your pipe slip out of your mouth with no teeth?

[Riggers]

Wasn't thinking about m'pipe at the time.

[Canardly]

Very Freudian. All my favourite YACF peeps camping at ours. Unfortunately 'ours' was a mythological  property owned by the family with insufficent beds that I personally hated and was just a tad afraid of. So there.....very odd.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Two recently.

1. I had entered a time trial. I don't know the distance or where it was being held, but I'd been allotted number 2 and was trying to pin the number on my jersey. It had been sized nicely to match a jersey pocket but it was difficult, on account of it being behind myself, obvs. Dozens of other riders were hanging round at the start, which was like an audax control - a village hall full of relaxed cyclists drinking tea, eating beans on toast and cake. The tt never actually began.

2. I was on holiday in Cuba. I went down to the beach with a huge crowd, where a Party official was exhorting us to wade to the equator and occupy Algerian waters in the name of "the Blessed Virgin Mary of the Mules".