What is the best readily available bottled ale?

[librarian]

Choice is the capitalist myth.

Yeah but communism would only offer two beer options: a lager called, with some truth, Spent Reactor Fuel Decontamination Fluid no. 5, and a dark beer made with beetroot.

"I'll try the beetroot beer, comrade," you'll ask, guessing what the lager is after trying Submarine Buoyancy Tank Cleaning Fluid no. 3.

"There is no beetroot beer."

"But you just said..."

"It's cabbage beer now. Beetroot is no longer sufficiently patriotic. Cabbage is now the symbol of our striving proletariat."

"Is there a cabbage beer then?"

"Why yes, comrade! Cabbage is the spirit of our nature, the leafy vegetable of progress."

"I'll have a pint of that then."

"You'll have to come back tomorrow."

"So, the only beer you have is Spent Reactor Fuel Decontamination Fluid no. 5?"

"No. We don't have that either, we sell it all to the capitalists."