Phew! the High point and low point of my first season all in one weekend.
Anyway, here's my account of what happened in Germany.
I rode with Postie, Cyclofabrica and Lordy for the majority of the first two days.
The first day was as flat as you like and we got a good rhythm going and managed to avoid the showers by ducking into conveniently placed bus shelters and played yoyo with Team Italia in their Ferrari jerseys and plastic bags.
Day two took us into the first manned control at 450km where we met Salvatorie and the man from Canada. We stopped for an extended breakfast/lunch and sat out a huge downpour, from there on we started to ride over sections of cobbles the size of babies heads and a few rail crossings that seemed always to be laid at jaunty angles to the road, which made for some interesting riding. At about 650km the hotel boys wanted to stop as it was pissing down and the hills were about to show, so I rode on as I wanted to stay at the 750km control.
This is where it started to get a bit hilly and a bit weird, I rode onwards into the night and got a good soaking for my troubles, but I was glad I carried on, as when it got dark I could make out the outline of the surrounding hills with hundreds of blinking lights from the wind turbines hovering in the air above them. A brilliant sight and well worth the drenching I'd had earlier.
Salvatorie had warned me about the desert that we were about to enter between controls and he was right. My water had run out and I wasted a load of time trying to find a tap for a refill........there was nothing......... for miles. No bars, no services and no garden taps....dry.
Eventually I spotted a hosepipe hanging on the wall of a house. I tiptoed quietly into the garden as best I could in cycling shoes on a gravel path, but I couldn't get it off the tap, so I filled up with rubber hose water. I took a big swig and nearly puked as it tasted strongly of vulcanised rubber, but that was all I had and I put my only desperado SIS gel in the bottle to try and mask the taste.
I Plugged on into the wet and increasingly windy night whilst sipping gingerly on orange flavoured rubber hose water, I had thoughts of all kinds of gastric trouble that I was bringing upon myself for the next day. When LO! over yonder appeared a bar, still open. I pulled up in the car park alongside a pair of young lovers, who seemed to be trying to swallow each other whilst locked in an amorous embrace, dismounted and burst into the bar with both water bottles drawn.
Inside a party was in full swing, the dancing stopped and everyone turned and stared. I made it to the bar and offered up my plastic bottles to the barmaid for a refill. Someone grabbed my shoulder and I turned and stared at a man who was tapping at his watch and shouting at me over the loud music, well of course speaking no German I simply smiled the best I could and shrugged. “Eeeengliiish” I said and he looked at me and rolled his eyes, turned to the rest of the party goers and shouted he's speaking "Eeeengliiish". A couple came up to me and kindly reminded me that "it's a bit late to be riding your bike, you know", "can we take your photo" and "do you want to dance ?" I must admit I felt like a Larry Let Down when I explained that "Er well no, I didn't really feel like dancing, but thanks for the offer" and that all I wanted was a drink and to get back on my bike and ride into the night.
Turning back to the bar I collected my now bulging bottles and was asked for €4.50 by the barmaid, that's a bit odd so I paid anyway, said my farewells to the party and left.
"Water".... fantastic, so I took another big swig and it all exploded back out, she'd filled up with fizzy water, but at least it didn't taste of Goodyear radials.
Off I went into the dark. I was intending to get to the control at about 2am, but ended up getting lost and missed the turning. Whilst lost and going in a big circle a car pulled up along side and I waved them on without looking, as I was on a mission, suddenly the night lit up with this amazingly beautiful blue light, it was the police and they wanted to chat. It must have come as a surprise to see a lone cyclist riding down the middle of the road in the dark, swearing to himself. So I stopped and they got out.
“Eeeengliish” I said for the second time in one evening and the police officer looked at me in disbelief, so I gave her the option of “Dansk” too.
So Eeeengliish it was to be and she kindly pointed out that; a.“It's a bit late to be riding your bike, you know" and b. That I really should be riding on the bike path and not in the middle of the road. and c. Where exactly was I going at this time of night ?
I had to stand there in the dark, getting cold and explain like a naughty boy what I was doing, why I was doing it and where exactly I was hoping to be, very soon.
So I ended up with a police escort for a while, what an eventful night this was turning out to be,and she kindly put me on the right track and I rode off into the night with a cheery wave and a Germainc “Bon Chance”.
I finally reached the control at 3:30 am fell into the shooting club and promptly got shooed back out of the door and told off for bringing my bike in.
That was it!!
The FACE ON! switch had been thrown and I was officially having a “special moment”.
Day 3 & 4 went in a blur of bus shelters and hills, hills, cake, cake, hills and were completed in an easy touring stye, with numerous refreshment breaks and an overnight in the control at Rösrath. With a wheel true from Frank and cake with hospitality from Helen and Fixillated, I relaxed knowing I was on the home straight. I won’t go into the thoughts of murder that were whirring around in my head during the night, but lets say I wished I’d bothered to pitch my tent as I wasn't getting any sleep.
I got back to the control at Petersborn at about 5pm, slaked my thirst with 4 beers, sat in the sun, ate alot, did the laundry and generally loafed. Postie and CF turned up later and went off to do a few more miles. Then Lordy turned up, changed and got on his bike. I looked at the sky and mentioned that “It looks like it might be going to rain“ He looked at me oddly and muttered something about wanting to get down the road coz he was knackered after the hills, so off he went and down it came.
Day 5.
Rested I left the control at about 5:30-5:45 am
I met team Italia at the intermediate control, they appeared to be shadows of their former selves and didn’t seem to be talking to each other, one can only imagine what horrors they must have experienced to make them look this way, so I left them with a cheery “Ciao” and rode off into the sunny day with my ice cream and a giggle.
I caught up with Postie and CF at lunchtime in the control at Lindern after doing a head down 200, wolfed down 2 plates of sausage stew, quaffed a large shandy and rode with them and my friend indigestion the last 200 km’s over the Elbe at sunset to the finish at Großhansdorf.
I used the king of route sheets in a map holder and had the whole route on one track on the Garmin and still managed to get lost. I rode it on my 1986 steel bike with camping gear on a 53/39 X 27 8 speed, had a lot of fun and I shall return for more.
You'll have to jog off to the other place if you want the juicy bits.
