The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)

[spesh]

No garden work is complete without the use of power tools.

Or dynamite.

Ah yes... the art of coarse gardening. 

[tonycollinet]

Amazon.  I'm sure this film scanner is lovely and works really well but, since it has a German plug on it, how am I supposed to use it?

That's why it was such a good deal. Caveat emptor and all that. 

Just get an EU-UK adapter pluG:

White EU Plug-in Convertor: Amazon.co.uk: Electronics

You've got to be kidding - does no-one know how to wire a plug anymore?

[RJ]

Pavement cycling yoof, don't come the injured party with me.  You're not six.  You should be on the road, or walking, and no, your plea of "I'm not well" doesn't wash.  If you're well enough to ride along the pavement, you're well enough to walk, but there's nothing wrong with you apart from being a gobshite, so effing well get off it.  The pavement or the bike, I don't care, but off it.

Ah yes.  That reminds me (PCY-student-type):  "Cobbles" is not an excuse, especially on those tyres ...

[Kim]

Amazon.  I'm sure this film scanner is lovely and works really well but, since it has a German plug on it, how am I supposed to use it?

Screwdriver in the earth hole and a bit of brute force

[RJ]

Amazon.  I'm sure this film scanner is lovely and works really well but, since it has a German plug on it, how am I supposed to use it?

That's why it was such a good deal. Caveat emptor and all that. 

Just get an EU-UK adapter pluG:

White EU Plug-in Convertor: Amazon.co.uk: Electronics

You've got to be kidding - does no-one know how to wire a plug anymore?

We have several German gang sockets re-wired with GB 3-pin plugs for just this sort of thing ...

[spesh]

Amazon.  I'm sure this film scanner is lovely and works really well but, since it has a German plug on it, how am I supposed to use it?

That's why it was such a good deal. Caveat emptor and all that. 

Just get an EU-UK adapter pluG:

White EU Plug-in Convertor: Amazon.co.uk: Electronics

You've got to be kidding - does no-one know how to wire a plug anymore?

Well, seeing as we can get adapters to run UK electrical goods from European sockets, it follows that there will be an adapter so that visitors from Europe can run their electrical bits from our sockets.  

A scanner will run off an AC/DC switched-mode PSU module anyway, so the alternative is that he gets a suitable mains-fed DC supply.

[Tim Hall]

Amazon.  I'm sure this film scanner is lovely and works really well but, since it has a German plug on it, how am I supposed to use it?

Screwdriver in the earth hole and a bit of brute force

Philistine.

Why do you think the Palm Pilot stylus was invented. <insert winky emoticon here>

[Kim]

We have several German gang sockets re-wired with GB 3-pin plugs for just this sort of thing ...

As do we.  Well, they were mostly used to idiot-proof the UPS output before we got some proper rackmount shiny to put all the kit in. (I work on the principle that nobody's going to open the back door of a rack to plug a hoover in when there's a perfectly good set of free sockets right next to it.  One day I'll prove myself wrong, I know.)

[Deano]

You really are just an accumulation of foul habits and grotesque opinions, held together with bile.

[clarion]

I work on the principle that nobody's going to open the back door of a rack to plug a hoover in when there's a perfectly good set of free sockets right next to it.  One day I'll prove myself wrong, I know.

You really are just an accumulation of foul habits and grotesque opinions, held together with bile.

Harsh!

And it may something about my assumptions that I thought you'd said

...held together with a bike

[Bledlow]

TalkCan't Talk, you really are the festering bubo on the sweaty crotch of internet service provision denial. ... you syphilitic goatfondlers.

I like.

[spesh]

TalkCan't Talk, you really are the festering bubo on the sweaty crotch of internet service provision denial. ... you syphilitic goatfondlers.

I like.

There may be more where that came from if today's batch of speed tests are as unsuccessful as yesterday's. 

[clarion]

I heard you typing, and you told me what you were doing as you made the entry into your database which I have TWICE been assured has been made.

It is a very important safety note, and, if I find that it still hasn't been added to our account, I shall be coming after you.  And I know your name.

[rower40]

Self: read the ****ing label when in Satan's Lair the Supermarket.

I wouldn't have selected a "Meat Feast" pizza had I but seen the telltale phrase "Chilli Beef" on the label.  Even at the titchy quantities present in a pizza, lips are swelling slightly.  (That's not to say I didn't finish it; it is Pizza, after all.)

So now I'm going to have to self-medicate with Cabernet Sauvignon.

[Bledlow]

Amazon.  I'm sure this film scanner is lovely and works really well but, since it has a German plug on it, how am I supposed to use it?

That's why it was such a good deal. Caveat emptor and all that. 

Just get an EU-UK adapter pluG:

White EU Plug-in Convertor: Amazon.co.uk: Electronics

You've got to be kidding - does no-one know how to wire a plug anymore?

Elfinsafetea. Plugs is all fixed on, & cutting 'em off & fitting a different one invalidates any & all warranties, renders your insurance null & void, & may lay you open to prosecution for reckless endangerment or at least criminal negligence, as well as unlicenced electrickery-fangling, violation of trading standards laws, anti-social behaviour, & Being a Bad Egg in General.

Next, you'll suggest cycling without a helmet!

[spesh]

Overdosing on Picolax after a beer'n'curry night doesn't even come remotely close to replicating the shower of shit that my broadband service has become. I thought yesterday evening's intertube lethargy was bad enough, but tonight it fell  out of the fail tree, hitting every branch on the way down.

I think I may be getting in touch with my inner BEAR later, with a hefty dose of SHUVEL on the side. 

[CrinklyLion]

Grumpy small people and a vomiting cat.

Someone up there doesn't care if it's the holidays, they want me to suffer WEDNESDAY regardless!

[L CC]

Grumpy small people and a vomiting cat.

Someone up there doesn't care if it's the holidays, they want me to suffer WEDNESDAY regardless!

O Noes!

And we are coming to see you! I hope all is well by lunchtime- should we bring extra extra chocolate??

[CrinklyLion]

Oh, surely it can only get better from that start?

Off to bake bread.  And possibly cake.

[interzen]

I can see how a puking puss would put a major downer on things. My parents have three cats, one of which is only just leaving kittenhood, with all that entails, so I do sympathise.

I was going to have one of my all-too-regular rants at the utter stupidity of Apple's code development guidelines but the ride in has cleared my head and, whilst all is not necessarily right with the world (far from it) at least I don't feel like punching through a wall (or Steve Jobs' head)

[CrinklyLion]

...at least I don't feel like punching through a wall (or Steve Jobs' head)

See, that sounds like a startling good start for a Wednesday to me.  Hope it continues!

[interzen]

...at least I don't feel like punching through a wall (or Steve Jobs' head)

See, that sounds like a startling good start for a Wednesday to me.  Hope it continues!

In light of an email I've just received from Deano of this parish, St.Steve is well and truly in my sights today ...

[Mr Larrington]

Lord Layard!  Lord Layabout, more like.  Kindly take your fucking happiness campaign and shove it up the gaspipe of a pissed-off honey badger.  No, I'm serious.  If some twatting fox flange comes up to me outside Sainsbury's and says "Have a free hug to increase your happiness quotient" I will probably retort "Have a bunch of fives up the snotbox in order to increase my happiness quotient".  I do not need a Lord to tell me to be happy, nor do I need a cunting fuckstick of a The Prime Minister to measure it.  Give me a pipeline from the Balvenie distilerry to the Great Hall of Larrington Towers, and a Ferrari, and I'll keep out of your face.  I am a BRITON and therefore reserve the right to be a miserable fucking gronk about the weather, the deplorable sho by the mcc a lot of rabits, the state of popular "music" and being at jbex and terminally arsed off when I'd rather be at home in bed with my Imaginary Friend.

I need one of those LWB Binz E-class hearses as you can't fit a half-ton of cross ursine in the back of a Roomster.  All donations gratefully received.

[Si_Co]

NHS...........you are feckin useless........there's more chance of winning the damn lottery than getting a doctors appointment that doesn't involve me having a 110 mile round trip.

WHY can i not have an appointment in advance of more than 3 hrs? Is your time management that poor?

Your advice?....Go to A&E or the walk in centre....for a muscle strain that won't heal??......total bag of shit

[clarion]

Can't book more than 3 hrs ahead?  Our performance requirements are that we should book appointments up to two weeks ahead.  Not acceptable.