Charlie don't ski
EER is currently reprising its infamous Tier 2 Tour. Last night was our penultimate outing which could only mean the Alma at Copford (not the one with the hands on barstaff).
I arrived (on time again
) just as the Witham Peloton swept into the car park and dismounted in perfect unison - the effect was rather spoilt by Hotblack's subsequent attempts to fit his huge bike under the bike rack, they really are a far more impressive sight awheel. Huggy and the Hustler made up the rest of their flying wedge. We were soon joined by Jemango to make up our allotted six. Later, an adjoining table formed when Tom Jones's young nephew arrived and, later still, Cletus from the Compasses turned up in his pick up truck, banjo in hand.
The Quaffers' Choice Committee is clearly the pre-eminent group associated with MEMWNS and membership is highly-prized. Nevertheless, it is but one of the many affiliated interest groups that come under the MEMWNS umbrella. I really cannot begin to tell you how many fascinating hours we have spent spellbound as the engineering sub-group recount their hilarious tales of the day the defenestration widget failed on the possum mast because Sid had miscalculated the number of MGHZ needed for the oscillating strip drive. Last night we were entertained by the film appreciation society. Like the QCC it is only open to amateurs so the Hustler is obviously ineligible. Their discussions seem to involve a mixture of poor impersonations and in depth analysis of what Hotblack refers to as the whooominn condition. The Hustler's guest spot thankfully steered clear of his own illustrious career, concentrating instead on east London's contribution to the Vietnam War oeuvre.
Then it was over to the entertainment sub-committee with Huggy sitting in for OD, the absent chair. It seems that Cletus is in fact a deeply spirtitual guy. He is particularly taken with the proto-druidic tradition and was able to tell us all about how he and his followers celebrate the three spirit nights. Whilst Beltaine and Samhain are no doubt fascinating evenings chez Cletus, Huggy was more interested in Alban Hefin as a possible alternative to our cancelled Epiphany extravaganza. Matters momentarily took a darker turn when a group of agitators, led by Jem, tried to hijack the meeting and force through a motion that we hold a Wicker Man festival instead with Fandango as Lord Summersisle and a human sacrifice (actually, having voted on a candidate, we may keep that bit). Fortunately Cletus's descriptions of fire leaping, skipping through the embers in conga lines and general spiritual merriment won them over. Now all we need is the final easing of lockdown which, spookily or purposefully, is due on the very day itself.
Having something as elitist as the QCC is one thing but when a group sets out to divide themselves by matters other than merit, you have a problem. The Titanium Circle, as they are calling themselves, is one such group. Huggy has just been admitted as an associate member but he may have misunderstood the bit about "ownership of a traditional titanium bicycle". The rest of us think it is a worrying trend.
The sampling selection was limited once more with (possibly but no one bothered to check) Timothy Taylor's Landlord and (again, possibly) Greene King IPA. The possibly Landlord was the clear winner, guest judge Dai Jones expertly describing it as "a bit citrusy, are you sure this is the same one as before".
Limited as the ale choice may have been, there was no lack of hospitality from the venue itself. We were escorted to a cracking table, tucked away in a warm corner of the marquee and with an electric heater pointing straight down onto it (Cletus looked like a man discovering fire for the first time when he saw the heater).
Sadly it was far less tropical on the way home with the Garmin hovering around 1-2 degrees. Fandango and I kept ourselves warm by showing off our ace bike-handling skills and practising our synchronised huffing and puffing show. I have no idea if he took the correct route home this week but he seemed to make it. I enjoyed another clear and quiet ride home.
Next week is the final part of our Tier 2 Tour which means the one and only Oddie.