The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[Feanor]

I hate cleaning bikes with derailleur gears.  I generally find it quicker to take the cassette off and scrub it in the sink with Fairy Platinum rather than faff about trying to clean it on the bike and getting degreaser in the hub bearings.

Anyway, I did this on Tuesday, reassembled it and rode it for a couple of days.  All worked perfectly.

Last night I found the 14T sprocket in the kitchen.

Ah, yes. I have form there...

https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=95565.msg2258609#msg2258609

[Edd]

What's that sound? Oh right, the spring of a safety pin rubbing against my mudguard. That would mean the pointy end is... Yep.
Ok, my cycle repair kit is just in... Oh yes, my other bag. 
Now, When's the next train and how far to the station?

[andrewc]

The flat seemed strangely warm when I got home tonight.   Yes, forgetting to switch off the 50W valve amp when you go to bed & leaving it running for 18 hours will definitely take the chill off... 

[Kim]

The flat seemed strangely warm when I got home tonight.   Yes, forgetting to switch off the 50W valve amp when you go to bed & leaving it running for 18 hours will definitely take the chill off... 

On the plus side, it should be nicely warmed up and stable...

[SteveC]

In the shower following my run at lunchtime.
Finish, open the shower curtain, where is the towel?
Still in the changing room at the other end of the corridor.
So, put the running shorts and shirt back on and drip my way there.

[Kim]

Sliced my thumb doing the washing up last night while vigorously scrubbing a cheese knife.  The scourery bit of the sponge snagged and OW!  That's the most pain I've been in since I got in the shower after the baboon-bottom road-rash incident.

It bled like a bastard for a few seconds, but my monkey-brain programming kicked in and clamped the fingers of my left hand around the injury with enough force that the circulation of both was affected.  Serious willpower required to let go for long enough to have a look and apply a dressing.

Having slept it off (helped by the exhaustion of a long day and silly bike racing), it doesn't actually look that bad, but it's a decent slice across the inside of the thumb about 7mm below the crease, and trying to use the thumb for anything strenuous just splits it open again.  So I've been making a left-handed mess of the kitchen and weirding out barakta by using my fingers to hold things the way she does.

Nowhere near as serious as that time I used a Stanley knife without adult supervision, but at least that one was mostly painless.  I suppose I'll have to eschew the upwrongs until it's healed.

[andrewc]

Ouch! Late night cheese bingeing is bad for you. 


Nastiest self inflicted cut I had was from a serrated bread knife, that took ages to heal.


Superglue?  Probably best applied by a Trained Professional.

[Kim]

Superglue?  Probably best applied by a Trained Professional.

I considered that last night.  Then I considered the likely outcome of attempting to do anything with superglue left-handed, and since it had stopped bleeding, decided to leave it until the morning.

At least I can still type.


(The real injustice is that it wasn't even from *my* cheese!)

[T42]

You know the way they tell you not to wring out an HRM strap because it'll damage it?

Yeah. And it does.   

[Kim]

You know the way they tell you not to wring out an HRM strap because it'll damage it?

Yeah. And it does.   

They don't like going through the washing machine, either.  (DAHIKT)

[ElyDave]

Ouch! Late night cheese bingeing is bad for you. 


Nastiest self inflicted cut I had was from a serrated bread knife, that took ages to heal.


Superglue?  Probably best applied by a Trained Professional.

nastiest self-inflicted cut I had was from a new bowsaw blade. that one did require superglue applied by a professional and still restricts my left index finger comfortable  bending range

[rafletcher]

Mine was using a wooden rule to guide a craft knife. That ended with tip of my left index finger getting sliced off.

[Ham]

Is it just me, I wonder? That moment, it doesn't last long and is best described as the triumph of hope over experience. You know you have Done Something to yourself. Again. The pain hasn't yet kicked in, possibly coz it was proper sharp. There's a certain wetness which suggests bodily fluids. There may even have been an unusual degree of contact between an external object and your internal bony bits. But. If you don't look at it, maybe it hasn't happened?

[phantasmagoriana]

You know the way they tell you not to wring out an HRM strap because it'll damage it?

Yeah. And it does.   

They don't like going through the washing machine, either.  (DAHIKT)

Really? I put mine in there all the time!

[Kim]

You know the way they tell you not to wring out an HRM strap because it'll damage it?

Yeah. And it does.   

They don't like going through the washing machine, either.  (DAHIKT)

Really? I put mine in there all the time!

Interesting.  Maybe it was just coincidence that my last one died after accidentally going through the wash?

Current one seems to be suffering from sweat-induced band slackness, rather than dodgy contacts.  Intermittent for the first ten minutes unless I actually spit on the pads, works well for about an hour, then it starts reading the heartrate of a fit person unless I stop and tighten the band.  I suppose I should invest in a new one preemptively.

[ElyDave]

You know the way they tell you not to wring out an HRM strap because it'll damage it?

Yeah. And it does.   

They don't like going through the washing machine, either.  (DAHIKT)

Really? I put mine in there all the time!

Interesting.  Maybe it was just coincidence that my last one died after accidentally going through the wash?

Current one seems to be suffering from sweat-induced band slackness, rather than dodgy contacts.  Intermittent for the first ten minutes unless I actually spit on the pads, works well for about an hour, then it starts reading the heartrate of a fit person unless I stop and tighten the band.  I suppose I should invest in a new one preemptively.

the newer Garmin ones I have are supposed to be washed, every ten uses I think. I have two and alternate them every other week. in my case its been the clip on transmitter thingy that has failed, twice

[T42]

I think it says 7x with a washing-machine icon on mine (Polar, circumcised for a  Garmin-compatible Ciclosport transmitter), but when I come in for a ride I chuck it in the wash-basin and let it soak in soapy water while I have my shower, then in plain water while I dry off. Then I fish it out & rinse it, fold up the floppy end & squeeze the water out then hang it up to dry.  Last ride but 2 or 3 I was a bit pooped and realized too late that I had folded up the wrong end.

It still works, but one of the contact pads has a little fan of cracks like crow's feet. I'm wondering if I could squeeze some adhesive in there to seal it without buggering anything up. It'd be better than sweat.

[rafletcher]

I still use the old style Garmin HRM bands, where the strap's only job is to hold the transceiver part in position. However I used to use the Polar "smart" straps with the contacts woven in, and in 5 years of being washed post every ride I had no issues. But I never was one for wringing them out.

[ian]

I'd be eating my tea and watching Anthony Bourdain right now had I not spent set the oven to defrost rather than cook. I guess I'll be eating at eleven then.

[andytheflyer]

Continued shortish runs, near to home, of my 73 Triumph Tiger 750, all to build a bit of confidence that it's not going to let me down miles from home.  Except today I got a bit braver and went off piste.  About a 16 mile round trip.  About half way around it started the odd cough, and hiccup.  Turned for home.  But coming back into the village it was backfiring, clearly unhappy, and I wasn't at all sure I'd get home.  But I did.

On inspection, it was clearly a bit hot.  Misfire.  Must be the ignition timing that I'd set on Friday with my new strobe.  It's known that the magnet plate that triggers the coils can move in the end of the camshaft and I hadn't checked the tightness of the bolt.  Did that first.  Tight.  Hmm.  OK.. Back to basics, check magnet position relative to TDC.  Bang on at 38 degrees before.  Nothing's moved.  So why the unhappy motorcycle?  What's changed?  The electronic ignition unit is known to be a bit sensitive to low voltage.  Is the alternator working?  Out with the meter.  16V at revs.  That's a bit high but OK.  Battery showing 13V.  So, not the ignition unit.  Presumably.

What does an internal combustion engine need?  Compression (check), spark (check, and at the right time), fuel.. Ah, hang on.  I'd put a gallon and a bit in when I first got it on the road 3 weeks ago, and I've done 60 miles since then.  And I went out today with just the main tap on, not the reserve.

Turned the reserve on and the carb filled.  Went out for another 6 miles, not a hint of a misfire.  Nothing, zilch.  Ran quite sweetly, for a 1937-designed British parallel twin.

Must get some petrol tomorrow....

Muppet.

[Basil]

10 minutes ago I discovered that I have been one day ahead for most of this week.  Probably something to do with having spent three days in bed with a nasty infection. (Proper 'flu?)
I even put the bins out last night (Tuesday) which won't be collected until Thursday.
Although I was wrong on the day of the week, I did know the correct date.. Which was very lucky as it is Mrs B s birthday today.
Phew.  That could have gone very badly.

[citoyen]

10 minutes ago I discovered that I have been one day ahead for most of this week.

That's nothing. M'colleague discovered yesterday that all the late nights he's been putting in recently were pointless as he is in fact two weeks ahead, thanks to misreading his production schedule.

It's the kind of problem I would love to have.

[JennyB]

Fitted an old square-taper crankset to a bike that used to have a spliney FSA one


Problem 1. Although the bb was the same length,  the old crank really needed a longer one: the spider was too close to the chainstay. It would have to come out
Problem 2  The left-hand crank extractor thread was strpped.


Solution 1 Take the bolt off, and ride it to see if it comes lose on its own.
Problem 3  No matter how I try to fettle it, the spider will always start rubbing after a few miles
Solution 2  Ring friendly local garage man to ask if he can help


Before taking it down, remove RH crank and fettle bb one last time. Replace crank. Where is crank bolt? Ah, there it is. Tighten down crank hard, and remove from stand.


Attempt to ride.
RH crank falls off.
Where is crank bolt?
You've guessed it.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Not me, my partner.

"Take my own laptop so step daughter can use it for her degree show" says I.

So MrsC does take my laptop, out of the cupboard, unplugs the power lead from the wall and takes that.

The power lead from the wall, the one for my *work* laptop.

So I decide I'm too ill to face commuting to work today, discover I don't have a power lead (it is now in York), and step daughter doesn't have a usable laptop for her degree show because the power lead is in Cambridge.

[Paul]

Twofers!