The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[spesh]

^^^Following Brexit, the British Standards Institute decides to devalue the millimetre.

Butbutbut, M Bussi is one of those damned Frenchies, who invented the beastly things in the first place.  And as a university professor and author of a shedload of crime novels I'd expect him to know the difference between something you can carry in your coat pocket and a light anti-aircraft gun.  I therefore point the finger of blame at the translator, who is probably one of those other-worldly humanities graduates who can't boil an egg without a 128-page multi-lingual manual, or a UKIP voter.

What use is a UKIP voter to a humanities graduate trying to boil and egg

Well, it depends on how much flammable material can be rendered from said voter's corpse, to be burned as fuel for a stove. 

[Guy]

What use is a UKIP voter???

FTFY 

[T42]

Gnat-brained little twat doing wheelies on his moped up & down the road. I do wish he go over backwards and break his neck.

[ElyDave]

Michel Bussi, or possibly translator Sam Taylor: ammunition with a calibre of 38 mm will not fit in any revolver known to SCIENCE.  Do yore prep.

Methinks it might have a bit of a kick...

I'd rather have a punt gun, much more useful in the fens, as used in the Littleport riots

[Feanor]

Having taken the chain-wrench up from the Seekrit Bunker into the house last night as a prop for a photo-shoot, I seem to have left it on the carpet and made an oily stain.

[Torslanda]

Gnat-brained little twat doing wheelies on his moped up & down the road. I do wish he go over backwards and break his neck.

Roofing nails. You need to spill a box . . .

[Kim]

Gnat-brained little twat doing wheelies on his moped up & down the road. I do wish he go over backwards and break his neck.

Roofing nails. You need to spill a box . . .

Silly Sustrans Gate at each end of the road.  It might affect a few legitimate road users, but if it stops one twat on a moped...

[T42]

When you look at the Sustrans map it looks as if the UK has a nasty dose of varicose veins.

[Polar Bear]

That would be the least of our worries ...

[T42]

I suppose that Sustrans Gates = buggered-up non-return valves.

[mrcharly-YHT]

On friday, some moron at work turned off the work fridge/freezer.
On Monday, a lot of food was a bit spoiled. So people threw away spoiled stuff.

Tues morning, the cleaner decided that the fridge was smelly, so decided to throw away the entire contents. Which included stuff in jars, and food people had bought on monday.

effing cock. That was my food for the week you threw away. Bought on Monday.

[T42]

Sympathies.

During the in-office piss-up we had when I was leaving a job in the 70s, a friend gave me a big packet of scampi "because you'll probably not feel like cooking much else after this". It was early in the evening, though, so it was still hot, and the only fridge in the office was in the manager's office, so he being absent we shoved the packet in there.

Little did we know that the fridge was only intended to cool drinks for visitors and was switched off by a timer overnight and at weekends.  The following week, I heard later, the boss was off in Frankfurt, so when he came back and his secretary finally opened the fridge to serve drinks at a meeting with visitors...

[ian]

Grant H. at my school left his ingredients for a cooking lesson, which for some reason he never attended, in his warm, sealed locker for an entire school year and then opened it on the final day of term. The smell was such that six girls in my class spontaneously threw up. It didn't help.

[mrcharly-YHT]

To put perspective on this, the fridge probably smelt strongly of cheese and meat. Office employees include italians and spaniards who enjoy their cheese and sliced meat. Bought on Monday.

The stuff thrown away included things like snickers bars, ffs. Really likely to have 'gone off'.

[Polar Bear]

I suppose that Sustrans Gates = buggered-up non-return valves.

Very good but a mis-diagnosis.

Those 'Sustrans veins' are in fact the angry popping veins on Britannia's neck and forehead.   

[T42]

Grant H. at my school left his ingredients for a cooking lesson, which for some reason he never attended, in his warm, sealed locker for an entire school year and then opened it on the final day of term. The smell was such that six girls in my class spontaneously threw up. It didn't help.

Back when I was fencing I used to bung my kit in my locker after every session - about 3 hours per.  The mask took up a lot of room so I'd put it in first and shove small items into it, including my socks.  Towards the end of the first 10-week term I did this, I began to realize that it was a bad idea.

[Bledlow]

Only because you didn't wash your socks.

[ElyDave]

A common trait is to place one's gloves in one's hard hat for safekeeping.

I normally point out the obvious error that any contaminant on the gloves is now transferred to the head.

Gloves normally get removed quickly.

[Mrs Pingu]

Bored of digestive distress now, come on giblets, sort yourselves out.

[matthew]

Bored of digestive distress now, come on giblets, sort yourselves out.

+1 I am now in week 3 of low level digestive disturbance.

[mattc]

Cow-orkers; we all know each-others names, why not use them?

Instead, people shout something out across a busy room; then if you don't answer add: "Matt, are you listening??" or similar.
Surely it's easier to start your statement/question/order with:
"Matt: ... "

I MIGHT JUST be concentrating on my feckin' work, not listening to every stray word that wafts around JUST IN CASE its addressed  to me 


[almost everyone here does it - except possibly our Polish job-snatcher - and they don't just do it to me! ]

[Kim]

Instead, people shout something out across a busy room; then if you don't answer add: "Matt, are you listening??" or similar.
Surely it's easier to start your statement/question/order with:
"Matt: ... "

File under "shit hearing people do".

I'm guilty of it myself.  Typically something like this happens several times a day:

Kim: *walks into room*
Barakta: *makes eye contact attentively*
Kim: *says something*
Barakta: *continues eye contact, doesn't respond*
Kim: "Can you hear me?"
Barakta: (using 1337 lipreading 5|<|11z) "No."
Kim: ...

[Ruthie]

Damn you Brexit.  The sexy single Polish vet at my church is preparing to leave the UK along with most of his Polish friends.  The hate-filled campaign of the Leave camp disgusted him so much that he doesn't want to live here any more.

He is so damn hot.  And nice.  And funny.  And intelligent.  And he smells nice too.

Bloody Farridge.

[woollypigs]

Quick marry him

[Mrs Pingu]

That is very sad.