Author Topic: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own (Read 2996863 times)

PeteB99 · « **Reply #24375 on:** 16 August, 2019, 12:36:00 pm »

The theology of beards. Seems in heaven all men will have a beard.

https://www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/2019/16-august/features/features/will-men-have-beards-in-heaven

But what about hell where no doubt a lot of us will end up. Will beards be allowed? Will moustaches be obligatory in purgatory?

We need to know.

T42 · « **Reply #24376 on:** 16 August, 2019, 01:03:26 pm »

Maybe they'll be burnt off every day and grow back overnight for another go, like Prometheus's liver.

ian · « **Reply #24377 on:** 16 August, 2019, 01:12:44 pm »

Hell isn't nearly as hot as claimed. Certainly, Phoenix is a lot worse. Finestre, the Demon of Such Things, certainly doesn't have a beard but then she wouldn't.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #24378 on:** 16 August, 2019, 01:28:56 pm »

We've only got the word of, well, hellfire preachers that Hell is toasty-warm and it's not as if their reputation for truthiness is rated A1 at Lloyds. As I recall, the Norse equivalent was notably chilly. I'll let Thee Panel know about the current state of Phoenix in a couple of weeks time.

ian · « **Reply #24379 on:** 16 August, 2019, 02:10:50 pm »

It's languishing in the mid-40s at the moment. Phoenix, not Hell. Hell is, all said, far nicer. Even my apartment in Lower Clandestine, though you occasionally get a sniff of the river.

essexian · « **Reply #24380 on:** 16 August, 2019, 02:18:25 pm »

I wonder whether Hell smells of dead dogs as Arizona did when we last visited?

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #24381 on:** 16 August, 2019, 02:45:06 pm »

It's currently 19 degrees and raining in Hell, or rather in Hel, which is on the Baltic. The ratio of bearded to unbearded men is unknown, as is the number of dead dogs.

ian · « **Reply #24382 on:** 16 August, 2019, 02:49:17 pm »

Strictly speaking all the dogs in Hell are dead, like the people. It's not like you can take a bus there (leastways, not since the latest round of cuts). Not everyone benefits from a Hell Portal under the hallway floor, as we do in The Asbestos Palace.

T42 · « **Reply #24383 on:** 16 August, 2019, 04:36:58 pm »

Just remembered: I've been there:

Hell

Phoenix be damned, it's in Hochfelden.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #24384 on:** 16 August, 2019, 04:43:20 pm »

Whereas Paradise is in Gloucestershire: https://goo.gl/maps/ZaTJQgcQtu8wNRdR9

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #24385 on:** 17 August, 2019, 02:17:48 am »

Last time I went to Arizona the weather was pleasantly warm, but then I was mostly at altitude. Not been to Phoenix since 2005, when it didn't smell of dead dogs. ["The Death of the Soul^*" - Mr Sunshine], on the other hand, does smell of dead dogs, as that's the staple diet of the natives.

* Edmonton

Ruthie · « **Reply #24386 on:** 18 August, 2019, 10:17:45 am »

Quote from: ian on 16 August, 2019, 02:49:17 pm

Strictly speaking all the dogs in Hell are dead, like the people. It's not like you can take a bus there (leastways, not since the latest round of cuts). Not everyone benefits from a Hell Portal under the hallway floor, as we do in The Asbestos Palace.

I beg to differ. CS Lewis described a bus service to Hell in 'The Great Divorce'.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #24387 on:** 18 August, 2019, 11:18:45 am »

He also described the first Tardis. Sort of. Would Dr Who have happened without the Wardrobe?

citoyen · « **Reply #24388 on:** 18 August, 2019, 11:44:53 am »

This is too good for the crap jokes thread...

Q. What do you get if you cross Bill Clinton and Donald Trump?

A. Found in your cell, unresponsive.

Basil · « **Reply #24389 on:** 21 August, 2019, 11:00:20 am »

Due to an overnight plumbing disaster, I have for the first time visited the public toilets here.
No graffiti and impressively clean and tidy.

Ham · « **Reply #24390 on:** 21 August, 2019, 02:37:23 pm »

This popped up on my fb feed, and it is something that I could relate to.

"My mind is like my Internet browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from"

spesh · « **Reply #24391 on:** 21 August, 2019, 03:02:32 pm »

Quote from: Ham on 21 August, 2019, 02:37:23 pm

This popped up on my fb feed, and it is something that I could relate to.

"My mind is like my Internet browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from"

ObligXKCD: https://xkcd.com/609/

essexian · « **Reply #24392 on:** 21 August, 2019, 03:07:33 pm »

Quote from: Basil on 21 August, 2019, 11:00:20 am

Due to an overnight plumbing disaster, I have for the first time visited the public toilets here.
No graffiti and impressively clean and tidy.

No dead bodies then....

https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/body-found-toilet-stafford-broad-3225168

Poor bloke, not a nice place to go (and no, I didn't mean it that way!)

Beardy · « **Reply #24393 on:** 21 August, 2019, 04:16:00 pm »

Speaking of finding bodies there’s this from my home town
https://www.eadt.co.uk/news/flagship-housing-residents-in-woodbridge-criticise-sheltered-housing-cuts-after-two-deaths-1-6226463

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #24394 on:** 21 August, 2019, 07:29:20 pm »

Prison for a kiss!
https://ifiplayer.ie/gaol-for-a-kiss/

Wowbagger · « **Reply #24395 on:** 22 August, 2019, 09:00:25 am »

Yesterday I checked my junk folder for an email I was expecting to find in the Useful folder. It wasn't there but there was one from a friend which clearly was spam. It was of the "Hello Peter: ://xxx.xx/xxxHs John" variety. Also, the said John has been dead for nearly three years.

It crossed my mind that there must be millions of web presences that no one will ever clear up when that presence has shuffled off onto their Cloud.

Ham · « **Reply #24396 on:** 22 August, 2019, 09:45:17 am »

Where does this belong? NSFW? nah. Gun thread? Nah.

Get a big dick

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #24397 on:** 23 August, 2019, 03:45:44 pm »

Facebook has auto-detected that it is my wedding anniversary and sent me a 'congratulations' message (how nice).

That has triggered the auto-add system. It is now serving me adds for divorce lawyers.

andrewc · « **Reply #24398 on:** 23 August, 2019, 10:48:12 pm »

I’ve just had some food delivered from Waitrose & a friend is accusing me of being posh! I’m a failed comprehensive school lad from Huyton. I can’t be posh!

She’s Head of Department at a prestigious European uni. She’s posh !

Beardy · « **Reply #24399 on:** 24 August, 2019, 10:56:08 pm »

It’s ten years since it was a regular for the crowd that are currently in my kitchen, but they’re just as rowdy and seem to be consuming as much, if not more alcohol then they did. Hopefully the ~~girls~~ women they each now share their lives with will have a positive effect when it comes to clearing up at the end of their session.
I suppose I should feel flattered or something that they still feel welcome here.

Author Topic: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own (Read 2996863 times)

ian

ian

essexian

ian

essexian