Author Topic: The RANT thread (often contains fruity language) (Read 2967194 times)

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #21850 on:** 21 October, 2019, 02:25:16 pm »

I don't know who was holding their wedding reception just off the North Circular in ["The Death of the Soul" - Mr Sunshine] yesterday afternoon, but the long line of mid-engined supercars outside the venue suggests a rich twat. Certainly a twat was the guest who decided it would be a good idea to let off smoke flares, thus allowing thick purple smoke to blow across all six lanes of the A406. I sincerely hope the police caught up with you and you ended your day in a cell and not in bed with a bridesmaid.

CAMRAMan · « **Reply #21851 on:** 21 October, 2019, 09:36:00 pm »

Three: Your app is shite; your website is shite too. All I wanted to do was to order a home brodband router and update my address, but no, you sent me into a tailspin of fail. Now, Lara, your very able & pleasant sales advisor in your Leamington shop was the exact opposite and got me sorted very quickly.

However, prior to my encounter with Lara, I got onto your sales line - eventually - and tried to order the Huawei B535 router. Only your punter on the line was trying to tell me that you were only offering the Huawei B311 router - in router terms a pile of (even more) shite and rather outdated. Lara confirmed this. When I told you that this was utter bollocks, you tried to convince me otherwise. I'm so glad I invested £1.90 on a return to Leamington and a couple of hours, as Lara handed over my router there and then, so I'm using it now.

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #21852 on:** 21 October, 2019, 09:38:26 pm »

Those modern equivalents to the chain letter you see on FB these days:
You know, the ones ostensibly about a worthy issue (fuck cancer, suicide, poor mental health etc) but that do the whole
'3 of my friends, my real friends, will copy and paste this' (and by extension if you don't you're an arsehole).
Bah.

Beardy · « **Reply #21853 on:** 22 October, 2019, 08:53:52 am »

Quote from: Mrs Pingu on 21 October, 2019, 09:38:26 pm

Those modern equivalents to the chain letter you see on FB these days:
You know, the ones ostensibly about a worthy issue (fuck cancer, suicide, poor mental health etc) but that do the whole
'3 of my friends, my real friends, will copy and paste this' (and by extension if you don't you're an arsehole).
Bah.

I ignore them and note who sent it on. It’s invariably a repeat offender whom is immune to being told to stop, but if it’s a new offender, then I consider a gentle discussion on the merits of ‘like farming’

ian · « **Reply #21854 on:** 22 October, 2019, 08:59:52 pm »

I confess I don't understand this chain letter thing. I've never got one, but why, what are they for? Does the Devil take your soul if you don't follow the instructions?

As a plus point, I know where he lives, so I can go get it back for you.

Jaded · « **Reply #21855 on:** 22 October, 2019, 10:52:58 pm »

My soul has been taken countless of times for ignoring chain letters.

Those of you that know me will know this...

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #21856 on:** 22 October, 2019, 11:00:18 pm »

Quote from: Beardy on 22 October, 2019, 08:53:52 am

Quote from: Mrs Pingu on 21 October, 2019, 09:38:26 pm
Those modern equivalents to the chain letter you see on FB these days:
You know, the ones ostensibly about a worthy issue (fuck cancer, suicide, poor mental health etc) but that do the whole
'3 of my friends, my real friends, will copy and paste this' (and by extension if you don't you're an arsehole).
Bah.
I ignore them and note who sent it on. It’s invariably a repeat offender whom is immune to being told to stop, but if it’s a new offender, then I consider a gentle discussion on the merits of ‘like farming’

I just ignore, but it annoys the fuck out of me. I can't stand that manipulation by proxy shit.

L CC · « **Reply #21857 on:** 26 October, 2019, 04:54:57 pm »

I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCKITY FUCK DID THE PLUMBING IN THIS HOUSE BUT THEY WERE NOT A FUCKING PLUMBER. AND INCI-FUCKING-DENTALLY WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WAS ENOUGH FUCKING SOCKETS???

hellymedic · « **Reply #21858 on:** 26 October, 2019, 04:59:02 pm »

There are NEVER enough fucking sockets!

Giraffe OTP helpfully rewired my downstairs when I moved here 20 years ago and seemed to put in LOADS of sockets but Modern Technology means THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SOCKETS though this place is not too bad....

Kim · « **Reply #21859 on:** 26 October, 2019, 05:08:59 pm »

Unscientifically, I reckon our socket use peaked in the early 2000s. The standardisation on 5V USB power supplies for small electronics; the demise of dedicated audio/video recording and display equipment in favour of playing files/streams on a computer and the shift from analogue telephony to Ethernet-powered SIP phones have all contributed.

We currently have a modest surplus of 4-ways and grelcos, and I haven't actually purchased either since about 2004.

There are, however, still not enough sockets, because they're in daft places.

Obrant: Grout / silicone sealant that doesn't. Under-bath is currently getting the fan-heater treatment (which isn't helped by the insufficiency of sockets in BRITISH bathrooms). Landlord's maintenance bod will be in contact at some point to suck teeth and tut.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #21860 on:** 26 October, 2019, 05:56:56 pm »

Quote from: fboab on 26 October, 2019, 04:54:57 pm

I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCKITY FUCK DID THE PLUMBING IN THIS HOUSE BUT THEY WERE NOT A FUCKING PLUMBER. AND INCI-FUCKING-DENTALLY WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WAS ENOUGH FUCKING SOCKETS???

This Unit hereby endorses this product, service or sentiment. The previous owner of Larrington Towers was a plumber, which explains the state of the electrics.

Chris S · « **Reply #21861 on:** 26 October, 2019, 06:05:48 pm »

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 26 October, 2019, 05:56:56 pm

Quote from: fboab on 26 October, 2019, 04:54:57 pm
I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCKITY FUCK DID THE PLUMBING IN THIS HOUSE BUT THEY WERE NOT A FUCKING PLUMBER. AND INCI-FUCKING-DENTALLY WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WAS ENOUGH FUCKING SOCKETS???

This Unit hereby endorses this product, service or sentiment. The previous owner of Larrington Towers was a plumber, which explains the state of the electrics.

More plumbers die from electrocution than electricians. Tru-fax.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #21862 on:** 26 October, 2019, 07:16:16 pm »

Quote from: Chris S on 26 October, 2019, 06:05:48 pm

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 26 October, 2019, 05:56:56 pm
Quote from: fboab on 26 October, 2019, 04:54:57 pm
I DON'T KNOW WHO THE FUCKITY FUCK DID THE PLUMBING IN THIS HOUSE BUT THEY WERE NOT A FUCKING PLUMBER. AND INCI-FUCKING-DENTALLY WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WAS ENOUGH FUCKING SOCKETS???

This Unit hereby endorses this product, service or sentiment. The previous owner of Larrington Towers was a plumber, which explains the state of the electrics.

More plumbers die from electrocution than electricians. Tru-fax.

My FiL was an electrician. Whenever he found any dodgy wiring, like the light switch which had been put in the neutral side, he said "Wired by plumbers!" He did, however, do his own plumbing... (Well of course he did. He built the whole house, from digging the foundations to the roof tiles.)

perpetual dan · « **Reply #21863 on:** 26 October, 2019, 07:33:46 pm »

Last time our washing machine needed fixed, the bloke tried to tell me that water softener power was a bad idea. “It’s just chemicals.” (The water in Sussex is properly hard.) He also stuck a sticker on the machine without asking, which serves as a helpful reminder not to call them again.

Giraffe · « **Reply #21864 on:** 27 October, 2019, 08:34:02 am »

Quote from: hellymedic on 26 October, 2019, 04:59:02 pm

There are NEVER enough fucking sockets!

Giraffe OTP helpfully rewired my downstairs when I moved here 20 years ago and seemed to put in LOADS of sockets but Modern Technology means THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SOCKETS though this place is not too bad....

At the time you said that you'd never use that many; I was concerned about the distance between sockets if fewer were fitted. Looks as if I should have fitted more!

ElyDave · « **Reply #21865 on:** 27 October, 2019, 08:37:04 am »

put extras in my shed and office when refurbed a few years back.

Shed is OK, but office, there are plenty, but not quite in the right places, as usual. The problem is multiple low power devices, around the modern office - laptop, twin monitors, hard drive, lamp, wifi extender, printer, ...

Polar Bear · « **Reply #21866 on:** 27 October, 2019, 10:51:43 am »

Quote from: hellymedic on 26 October, 2019, 04:59:02 pm

There are NEVER enough fucking sockets!

Giraffe OTP helpfully rewired my downstairs when I moved here 20 years ago and seemed to put in LOADS of sockets but Modern Technology means THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SOCKETS though this place is not too bad....

John the Sparky top did our wiring upgrades and I had gazillions of sockets put into the kitchen, breakfast area and front room. Next year I'll have him back if he's available to add more in the bedrooms.

I do not understand why people install single gang sockets either. How pointless is that?

Kim · « **Reply #21867 on:** 27 October, 2019, 11:33:04 am »

Quote from: Polar Bear on 27 October, 2019, 10:51:43 am

I do not understand why people install single gang sockets either. How pointless is that?

The only sensible reason is in lieu of a junction box, when the cable has to spur or change direction. Which isn't sensible, but sometimes happens on retrofits.

hellymedic · « **Reply #21868 on:** 27 October, 2019, 01:44:39 pm »

Quote from: Giraffe on 27 October, 2019, 08:34:02 am

Quote from: hellymedic on 26 October, 2019, 04:59:02 pm
There are NEVER enough fucking sockets!

Giraffe OTP helpfully rewired my downstairs when I moved here 20 years ago and seemed to put in LOADS of sockets but Modern Technology means THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SOCKETS though this place is not too bad....
At the time you said that you'd never use that many; I was concerned about the distance between sockets if fewer were fitted. Looks as if I should have fitted more!

To be fair, several are not in use but are obscured by furniture. One of the twin sockets in the kitchen feeds many low-power gadgets.

CAMRAMan · « **Reply #21869 on:** 27 October, 2019, 03:00:36 pm »

Screwfix Leamington; It's a feckin' good job for you that I already had a couple of IKEA Edison screw to bayonet converters, isn't it?! Your bod on the counter even said 'bayonet-fitting' as he dozily went to the back to collect my order. I naively didn't check and only discovered a box of five Edison screw bulbs when I got home. Twunts.

robgul · « **Reply #21870 on:** 27 October, 2019, 03:54:44 pm »

Quote from: CAMRAMan on 27 October, 2019, 03:00:36 pm

Screwfix Leamington; It's a feckin' good job for you that I already had a couple of IKEA Edison screw to bayonet converters, isn't it?! Your bod on the counter even said 'bayonet-fitting' as he dozily went to the back to collect my order. I naively didn't check and only discovered a box of five Edison screw bulbs when I got home. Twunts.

I feel your pain - we were having a de-clutter purge and in the box of misc lightbulbs found one odd one with an Edison screw "What's this for?" .... "Duuno" ... chuck it out. Next day light bulb fails in one of the bathrooms . . . .yep, you got it - Edison screw bulb. As the bathroom has no window it was a rapid trip to B&Q at 1930 to make a purchase (although I did fiull up the car at Tesco next door)

Rob

Kim · « **Reply #21871 on:** 27 October, 2019, 04:40:35 pm »

I've long since accepted that the human race is incapable of inventing a lamp socket that isn't in some way crap^[1], but getting Ikea to adopt the Edison Screw as their default is one of Stan's finest works.

_{[1] I once encountered a Parcan where some plumber genius had replaced the GX16D base with a couple of uninsulated spade connectors, neatly trading off all the usual lamp socket problems in favour of up-a-ladder-in-the-dark electric shock roulette. I'm not 100% sure this wasn't in fact an improvement.}

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #21872 on:** 27 October, 2019, 07:16:31 pm »

Am I the only person here who thinks screw-fitting light bulbs are infinitely preferable to bayonet ones, especially when you're trying to replace the one halfway up the stairs from the top of a long ladder?

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #21873 on:** 27 October, 2019, 07:20:26 pm »

No, you're not.

Canardly · « **Reply #21874 on:** 27 October, 2019, 07:25:45 pm »

I quite like Edison fittings.