Author Topic: Tour de France 2018 (Read 135489 times)

Second day running. *** thinks this is the start of a trend, and also "beautiful madness". I think he drank his lunch before the start of today's stage.

The C Boardmen reckon the cutoff time for the poids lourds is about 27:30. Much hitting of F5.

Vān Avermaet lost >22', Alaphilippe nearly 25, Urán over 26

T42 · « **Reply #456 on:** 18 July, 2018, 05:10:47 pm »

Sky were a wee bit emphatic there, I thought.

T42 · « **Reply #457 on:** 18 July, 2018, 05:11:52 pm »

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 18 July, 2018, 05:10:05 pm

Quote from: T42 on 18 July, 2018, 03:10:11 pm
Did you see the bloke on the tightrope?

Second day running. *** thinks this is the start of a trend, and also "beautiful madness". I think he drank his lunch before the start of today's stage.

Put the tight in tightrope.

Nick H. · « **Reply #458 on:** 18 July, 2018, 05:16:01 pm »

I like the way Geraint pretended to be shocked by his own riding. It was "on instinct".

citoyen · « **Reply #459 on:** 18 July, 2018, 05:17:54 pm »

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 18 July, 2018, 05:10:05 pm

The C Boardmen reckon the cutoff time for the poids lourds is about 27:30. Much hitting of F5.

I think he said 27.15, and I just did the calculations myself* to come up with the same figure, so I'm going with that.

Cav, Renshaw and Kittel are definitely OTL. Groenewegen very probably as well. Quite a few others too.

*stage coefficient 5 and winner's average speed of just over 31kmh means a 13% allowance.

Nick H. · « **Reply #460 on:** 18 July, 2018, 05:21:46 pm »

Quote from: citoyen on 18 July, 2018, 05:17:54 pm

poids lourds

Surely TIR? That's the term used by Assos for the XXXL gentleman.

spesh · « **Reply #461 on:** 18 July, 2018, 05:30:17 pm »

That was interesting and entertaining!

I was expecting Van Laundromat to pop and lose the shinyjumper, but Begbie's implosion took me by surprise.

Nibbles, the French Exchange Student and Inigo Teenytana need to give their heads a wobble.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #462 on:** 18 July, 2018, 05:30:53 pm »

Big bunch @ 27:25, including Rowe, Colbrelli, Higgs Boson, Demare, Degenkolb, Kristoff & Greipel. Terpstra, Groenewegen, Gallopin all more than 29' down. 165 starters today, letour.fr showing 161 finishers so far, none of whom is either Cav or Kitteh. Lawson Craddock is in, though

citoyen · « **Reply #463 on:** 18 July, 2018, 05:36:35 pm »

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 18 July, 2018, 05:30:53 pm

Big bunch @ 27:25, including Rowe, Colbrelli, Higgs Boson, Demare, Degenkolb, Kristoff & Greipel. Terpstra, Groenewegen, Gallopin all more than 29' down. 165 starters today, letour.fr showing 161 finishers so far, none of whom is either Cav or Kitteh. Lawson Craddock is in, though

Cav, Kittel, Renshaw and Zabel are all officially OTL (they're listed under Withdrawals rather than under the main stage results, except Cav, who probably still hasn't finished yet). The commissaires have applied their discretion/are looking at a different rulebook to me to allow the rest of the late finishers to stay in the race.

ETA: apparently they made a late rule change yesterday so the cut-off was 15% not 13%. For some reason, they didn't think to include me on the circulation list for the official memo announcing this.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #464 on:** 18 July, 2018, 05:46:26 pm »

Zabel is now listed on the finishers' page at 31:32 down but Renshaw, Cav and Kitteh look like thy're going home early.

ijsbrand · « **Reply #465 on:** 18 July, 2018, 05:56:04 pm »

Quote from: citoyen on 18 July, 2018, 05:36:35 pm

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 18 July, 2018, 05:30:53 pm
Big bunch @ 27:25, including Rowe, Colbrelli, Higgs Boson, Demare, Degenkolb, Kristoff & Greipel. Terpstra, Groenewegen, Gallopin all more than 29' down. 165 starters today, letour.fr showing 161 finishers so far, none of whom is either Cav or Kitteh. Lawson Craddock is in, though

Cav, Kittel, Renshaw and Zabel are all officially OTL (they're listed under Withdrawals rather than under the main stage results, except Cav, who probably still hasn't finished yet). The commissaires have applied their discretion/are looking at a different rulebook to me to allow the rest of the late finishers to stay in the race.

ETA: apparently they made a late rule change yesterday so the cut-off was 15% not 13%. For some reason, they didn't think to include me on the circulation list for the official memo announcing this.

Sorry.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #466 on:** 18 July, 2018, 06:00:02 pm »

Stage 11: Albertville > La Rosière Espace San Bernardo

(click to show/hide)

GV Avermaet:	O hai! I am GV Avermaet, I am excellent and if u lot think I haz teh shinyjumper by teatime ur bonkers. In teh nut.
G Imlach:	O hai! Imlach ect ect.
NC Boardman:	O hai! Niec ect ect.
G Imlach:	G Thomas. Shinyjumper contender?
NC Boardman:	Yes. Yes, he is. T $ky rethink strategy C Froome.
G Imlach:	And now TV's *** Boulting & TV's Super D Millar will tell u about teams who r not T $ky!
Omnes:	Hat! Hat! SD Millar haz teh baseball wankhat agane!
SD Millar:	Your all gay! V Nibbl...
	[Picture freezes, then disappears altogether]
A Yates:	Yeah er great er yeah Alps great yeah! Er.
SD Millar:	As I woz saing, V Nibbles! Also, J Alaphilippe FTW!
N Boulting:	O hai! We r in France! Srsly! [Opens curtains] Look, see! Alps!
Omnes:	It's only a model!
N Boulting:	Ssssssh!
NC Boardman:	Short stage!
SD Millar:	Yes. Yes, it is! No caution, GC race blown open, cutoff tiem short! J Alaphilippe FTW!
EC Boardman:	A hahahaha! Aha ha ha! 27 minits! Ha ha ha and, moreover, ha!
N Boulting:	Frenchish TV tips C Froome M Landa D Martin V Nibbles FTW!
SD Millar:	Frenchish TV iz as reliable as R McEwen! J Alaphilippe FTW!
J Alaphilippe:	O hai! I am not teh angryman ne moar so will not sa "RAAAWWWRRR!" until further notice!
Omnes:	Spoilsport!!1!
C Prudhomme:	Scram, u diseased proles!
CP Sagan:	O hai! Teh sprint sprint sprintEEEE iz onli 8 km up teh road, so if u lot think I'm gonna hang around 4 u, then mi naem's not Maffeo Barberini!
	[Grams: WHOOOOSH!]
N Boulting:	What will CP Sagan do after teh snottysprint?
SD Millar:	Go 4 a biek ride, just liek yesterda!
CP Sagan:	Job done! Mi Dad needs a new car 2 carry all mi jumpers LOL!
	[...]
SD Millar:	Look, see, A Demare haz fallen off teh pelican already!
N Bouhanni (via whalesong):	Onoz! Le pauvre! Je suis désolé! [Aside] Roffle!
SD Millar:	J Alaphilippe TJV Garderen!
TJV Garderen:	O dog! GV Avermaet haz teh da off so I haz 2 lead T BMC 2 certain DETH! Why stop now just when I'm hating it?
W Barguil:	O hai! I'm here 2, u kno!
Bethany [8]:	\o/
SD Millar:	TD Gendt! Racing beast, tactical root vegetable!
N Boulting:	Reboot!
SD Millar:	Elastic!
Omnes:	That's so 2017, u 2!
	[Au sommet]
W Barguil:	That iz mi jumper ur wearing, J Alaphilippe!
J Alaphilippe:	No. No, it iz not. Go away!
Bethany [8]:	I haz decided, J Alaphilippe, that I do not liek u!
J Alaphilippe:	Yoicks! Maman! Au secours!
	[...]
SD Millar:	TD Gendt! He doesn't ask questions!
N Boulting:	TD Gendt! Teh human Derny!
Omnes:	Say after me, ***, I must learn teh difference between an uncategorised climb and wot TV's R Gilmore calls a "Horse" Categorie!
	[...]
T $ky:	Bored now! Ne1 else want a go?
T Moviestar:	Yeah, alright then!
GV Avermaet:	Piss! Bai bai, shinyjumper!
	[...]
Bethany [8]:	skools out wots hapnin?
N Boulting:	Lots ov big naems falling out ov teh mitey beek ov teh pelican. B Mollema GV Avermaet R Gesink S Calamityjane ect ect.
Bethany [8]:	wot about mi Da... R Urán?
N Boulting:	Yes, him 2!
Bethany [8]:	Oh. Bum!
CP Sagan:	O hai, pelican! Did u miss me!
T Pelican:	FFS!
A Valverde:	Right, I'm off!
T $ky:	I, er, oh, bugger! Now we haz 2 work again!
	[...]
N Boulting:	Look, see! Tightrope walker! Developing theme! Beautiful madness!
Omnes:	U spike hiz covfefe, Super D? Still, better than sonically-challenged Frenchmen with punk rock electric guitars, eh?
N Boulting:	Look, see! J Alaphilippe haz blowed up!
SD Millar:	Just as I predicted!
J Alaphilippe:	I would sa "RAAAWWWRRR!" if I had teh energy...
	[Au sommet part deux]
W Barguil:	Yay! Spottypoints!
Bethany [8]:	[Short but intense dance routine]
N Boulting:	Yoicks! M Cavendish 24 minits down, on his tod and moar mountains 2 come!
SD Millar:	Wowsa! TB Merida attack V Nibbles! Just liek I sed all teh lieulong day!
N Boulting:	V Nibbles haz been keeping hiz hyperbole dry this year!
SD Millar:
N Boulting:	Look, see! J Alaphilippe haz been ~~cort~~ dropped by teh pelican!
SD Millar:	Just as I predicted!
	[Au sommet part trois]
W Barguil:	Yay! Spottypoints!
Bethany [8]:	[Short but even moar intense dance routine]
	[Onto teh last climb]
M Soler:	[Dies]
A Valverde:	Ta, son! I'll taek it from 'ere...oh. Bugger!
TD Windmill:	O hai, A Valverde! Bet u didn't expect 2 c me, eh?
5:	Oooooooh! He's such a yumsie hunksta!
SD Millar:	Yoicks! A Yates in trub!
M Nieve:	In that case...
	[Grams: WHOOOOSH!]
T $ky:	O hai, A Valverde! Did u haz a niec ride?
A Valverde:	Fck! Off!
J Birdsong:	Melancholy Supremes lyric goes here ==>
M Kwiatkowski:	DKUATB!
E Bernal:
G Thomas:	Mi turn!
C Froome:	Off u fck! I will deal wif R Bardet, P Roglic, V Nibbles & ~~I Montoya~~ N Quintana!
D Martin:	U 4getting sum1, C Froome?
C Froome:	No. No, I am not.
D Martin:	Oh. Piss!
G Thomas:	C me not wait 4 C Froome!
	[Grams: WHOOOOSH!]
M Nieve:	FFS!
G Thomas:	\o/
TD Windmill:	U utter git, G Thomas!
5:	G Thomas TD Windmill! Mai cup runneth over! [Faints]
G Thomas:	Super niec!
Omnes:	What did he just say?
G Imlach:	I'd love 2 hav been a fly on teh wall ov teh T $ky radio!
EC Boardman:	A hahahaha! Politics! SD Brailsford!
G Imlach:	Eliminations?
EC Boardman:	M Cavendish M Kitteh and much, much moar! A hahahaha! LOL and, indeed, roffle!
NC Boardman:	Unless C Prudhomme sez otherwise!
	[Very very later]
M Cavendish, M Renshaw & M Kitteh:	Wait 4 us!!1!
C Prudhomme:	No. Off u fck!

Tewdric · « **Reply #467 on:** 18 July, 2018, 06:26:15 pm »

Mae G ym melyn!!!

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #468 on:** 18 July, 2018, 09:03:25 pm »

Brilliant!

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #469 on:** 18 July, 2018, 10:23:26 pm »

They gave the Combativité wossname to A Valverde

Mind you, it's probably the only thing that Movistar stand a chance of winning while ~~Montoya~~ Quintana sticks to their tried-and-found-wanting strategy of waiting until Froome cracks only to realise, usually on the Champs-Elysées, that he isn't going to.

cygnet · « **Reply #470 on:** 18 July, 2018, 11:33:16 pm »

G Thomas sounding suspiciously like E Bosen-HagenDaz. Super Nice!

Exit Stage Left · « **Reply #471 on:** 18 July, 2018, 11:52:01 pm »

It seems that ASO have designed a race to make it difficult for Sky to control, because that's predictable, and not French. One method is to reduce the size of the teams, and another is short stages which favour pure climbers with flair, who happen to be French.

I'm in favour of that aim, especially as cycling is competing against football. But what if the other teams want Sky to control the race, so that their sprinters and domestiques aren't spat out of the back. And what if Sky can still control the race, but haven't initiated the breaks which eliminate riders.

The blame from the other teams then falls on Valverde and Movistar, and the ASO of course. Failing a Sky collapse. I don't see how the situation can be resolved without some sort of budget cap. An obligation for each team to field a sprinter, a young rider and a pure climber might also help.

T42 · « **Reply #472 on:** 19 July, 2018, 08:02:22 am »

Quote from: Exit Stage Left on 18 July, 2018, 11:52:01 pm

But what if the other teams want Sky to control the race, so that their sprinters and domestiques aren't spat out of the back.

Faut le pousser du côté où il veut tomber - Papet

Beardy · « **Reply #473 on:** 19 July, 2018, 09:53:20 am »

Quote from: Exit Stage Left on 18 July, 2018, 11:52:01 pm

<snippage>
An obligation for each team to field a sprinter, a young rider and a pure climber might also help.

That would be difficult to police because other than the young rider, identifying a person as a sprinter or climber is subjective.

Exit Stage Left · « **Reply #474 on:** 19 July, 2018, 10:08:15 am »

Quote from: T42 on 19 July, 2018, 08:02:22 am

Quote from: Exit Stage Left on 18 July, 2018, 11:52:01 pm
But what if the other teams want Sky to control the race, so that their sprinters and domestiques aren't spat out of the back.

Faut le pousser du côté où il veut tomber - Papet

Interesting thought. I take that to mean that you've got to go with the grain, or literally push towards the side where it wants to fall. I like the double-entendre of 'côté'.

ASO may have genuinely believed that Froome wouldn't be coming, so have been caught off balance. Froome argues that a budget cap would be 'tantamount to communism', and that the UCI should be trying to attract bigger sponsors. That's an argument that might have attractions in the peloton, as it would push up the wages of the elite Tour riders.

Sponsorship is an interesting area, I'm only really in a position to use Sky and Lidl. I've been shopping at Lidl since 1999, and will always look for a branch in France, as it saves me a lot of confusion. So I've noticed that the route into town usually seems to pass a Lidl. The one in Bourg St Maurice is on the right, just before the railway station. The TV coverage gives a guide to where the Lidl is likely to be, and the logo on the shorts and shoulders remind me to look for it.

The other sponsors are a bit of a mystery, flooring has figured since the days of Mapei. The other side of the publicity equation are the ITV4 adverts. The average viewer would seem to be a gambling alcoholic, with an obsession with shaving and haircare, and concerned about the price of their funeral. 'Where am I going to find £3,600?' it won't matter, you'll be dead.

Author Topic: Tour de France 2018 (Read 135489 times)

Nick H.

Nick H.

Nick H.