Author Topic: Tour de France 2018 (Read 135680 times)

Hot Flatus · « **Reply #1000 on:** 29 July, 2018, 03:52:41 pm »

Quote from: rogerzilla on 29 July, 2018, 03:37:20 pm

Does anyone else find the last day dull? I think 1989, when the wrong guy won (from the French point of view) was the end of a competitive last day, wasn't it?

It was a TT. The only ever TT since the finish moving to Champs Elysées in 74.

There have been a couple of attacks over the years, but in recent years the only non-sprint was in 2005.

citoyen · « **Reply #1001 on:** 29 July, 2018, 04:40:07 pm »

At leat it’s a short boring stage rather than a long boring stage.

Torslanda · « **Reply #1002 on:** 29 July, 2018, 04:43:25 pm »

Spectidiocy has been elevated to new depths. Riding along the closed side of the dual carriageway, FKWs. The French equivalent of being a dick . . .

Torslanda · « **Reply #1003 on:** 29 July, 2018, 04:46:54 pm »

OTOH kudos to Les Pompiers de Paris for using their turntable ladders as viewing platforms and the creative parking des Sapeurs

mzjo · « **Reply #1004 on:** 29 July, 2018, 05:22:31 pm »

Recovered the satellite coverage after an afternoon watching France2 by internet with the Pi (safety net option). Phew!!!!!

mzjo · « **Reply #1005 on:** 29 July, 2018, 05:27:43 pm »

Quote from: andyoxon on 28 July, 2018, 04:41:55 pm

G!! Glad Froome made the podium.

Wonder what happened with the timing mismatch.

The opinion of the cognoscenti on Eurosport was that G eased off because he had been told over the radio that Froome had won the stage and then had to speed up again when the error was discovered.

T42 · « **Reply #1006 on:** 29 July, 2018, 05:44:13 pm »

Apparently a gendarme walked in front of the photoelectric cell on the finishing line just before Froome crossed it.

Basil · « **Reply #1007 on:** 29 July, 2018, 05:56:41 pm »

Quote from: Torslanda on 29 July, 2018, 04:43:25 pm

Spectidiocy has been elevated to new depths. Riding along the closed side of the dual carriageway, FKWs. The French equivalent of being a dick . . .

I don't see why you would call that spectiodocy.

Seemed like the little girl was enjoying her ride, and the sight of French yoof on BSOs trying to keep up with the pelican made I larf.

Torslanda · « **Reply #1008 on:** 29 July, 2018, 05:59:41 pm »

Was more thinking of the FKWs...

Beardy · « **Reply #1009 on:** 29 July, 2018, 06:13:49 pm »

Dr Beardy (Mrs) has just been shouting at me because I pointed out at the 3km that G had got it. She went into a rant about how silly it was that everyone was saying he’d won yesterday but then *** and SD started getting all excited as they went down the back straight of the Champs for the last time.

I'm always in trouble it would seem, the only thing that changes is the depth!

woollypigs · « **Reply #1010 on:** 29 July, 2018, 06:50:20 pm »

Mic drop by G \o/

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #1011 on:** 29 July, 2018, 08:06:00 pm »

Oh well, that's that for another year....

Basil · « **Reply #1012 on:** 29 July, 2018, 08:13:58 pm »

Quote from: woollypigs on 29 July, 2018, 06:50:20 pm

Mic drop by G \o/

TheLurker · « **Reply #1013 on:** 29 July, 2018, 08:22:01 pm »

Quote from: Jasmine on 29 July, 2018, 09:11:03 am

Quote from: TheLurker on 27 July, 2018, 06:52:50 am
It's caffeine flavoured shampoo from Germany....
It's not caffeine flavoured, it actually contains caffeine....

My previous post may contain traces of sarcasm, irony and (if you dig really, really really deep, we're probably talking North Sea oil well deep here) trace levels of humour.

Anyway sod caffeinated shampoo, fizzy drinks and enemas. Huzzah and thrice huzzah for the Welsh Wizard! Some good news in otherwise not very cheering times.

TheLurker · « **Reply #1014 on:** 29 July, 2018, 08:25:37 pm »

Quote from: Mrs Pingu on 29 July, 2018, 08:06:00 pm

Oh well, that's that for another year....

Less than a month to go before the Vuelta and if the staff of Pandemic piss-off on their annual holibobs and neglect to report on it I shall be deeply narked. Again.

I was wondering who'll be leading $ky in this year's Vuelta? CF is off on his big hols, GT (Grand Tourer - how appropriate) may not have the legs after the TdF. Let the speculation begin....

Basil · « **Reply #1015 on:** 29 July, 2018, 09:42:06 pm »

20180729_180740~2 by Basil W, on Flickr

Excited dog. But as she's actually Irish, she was more happy for Dan Martin.

Paul · « **Reply #1016 on:** 29 July, 2018, 10:38:30 pm »

Is that a waiter bell, Basil?

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #1017 on:** 29 July, 2018, 10:45:57 pm »

Because C Prudhomme's chippies didn't finish building the podium on time, the recording gave out before the programme finished. I just finished watching the highlights.

Noes! No more C Boardmen on the Tour

Quote from: TheLurker on 29 July, 2018, 08:25:37 pm

Less than a month to go before the Vuelta and if the staff of Pandemic piss-off on their annual holibobs and neglect to report on it I shall be deeply narked. Again.

Vuelta starts 25th August. Four days after PP arrives in Calgary, unless it turns out not to have been a glitch with USAnia's webby SCIENCE and they won't let me in.

Basil · « **Reply #1018 on:** 29 July, 2018, 10:50:05 pm »

Quote from: Paul on 29 July, 2018, 10:38:30 pm

Is that a waiter bell, Basil?

It is.

More muffins please Betty.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #1019 on:** 30 July, 2018, 01:22:05 am »

Stage 21: Houilles > Paris Champs-Élysées

(click to show/hide)

G Imlach:	O hai! I am TV's G Imlach and I am being excellent 4 teh last tiem on teh 2018 Tour ov France. Hurrah! Hurrah 4 G Thomas!
EC Boardman:	It's not 2 l8 4 him 2 have a really bad day, y'kno! Ahahhahaha! Oh yes!
Omnes:	Fck! Off!
G Thomas:	This Unit hereby endorses this product, service or sentiment!
	[...]
M Smith:	Freedom, man, freedom! They let me out of that fukn cupboard @ last! Even if I'm in Cardiff & not Paris!
	[...]
C Prudhomme:	OK, let's do this thi... wait? What! Where teh hell are G Thomas & CP Sagan?
G Thomas & CP Sagan:	Thorry, mathter!
	[...]
SD Millar:	Look, see! S `["Poisonous term" - Ed.]`anel iz up teh front ov teh pelican wif da rood boys!
Omnes:	Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
N Boulting:	Look, see! D Martin iz also up teh front ov teh pelican wif da rood boys!
Omnes:	Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
N Boulting:	All teh riders deserve a big pat on teh back!
CP Sagan:	Anyone patting me on teh back 2da will feel teh force ov mi wheelbrace across teh bridge ov their nose!
SD Millar:	J Alaphilippe! Wot a gent!
N Boulting:	Apparently C Prudhomme haz told teh pelican 2 get 2 work. And they, er, haven't. So we'll go 2 M Smi...
Omnes:	Wait... what??!1? Super D is wearing glasses!
SD Millar:	Wot ov it?
Omnes:	Just so long as u need them 2 see wif, Super D! As opposed 2 a fashn thing liek gr8 ponce L Hamilton!
SD Millar:	I h8 u all!
M Smith:	Shut! Up! This iz mi big moment! So, Maindy Fly...
N Boulting:	Look, see! T $ky pratting about!
SD Millar:	@ least we don't haz a Yates bruv behaving liek a toddler!
P Latour:	Merci, Super D!
N Boulting:	Aren't FrogPlod^TM funneh!
Les CRS:	We're not!
N Boulting:	G Thomas! Wales' gr8est sportsbod evvah!
G Edwards:	Fck! Off!
R Reardon:	Wotesed!
SD Millar:	Wouldn't it b rofflesome iffen G Thomas crashed now wif teh Welsh flag wrapped round hiz face?
Omnes:	No. No, Super D, it would not!
EC Boardman:	U know wot I would do if that happened? I'd laarrff, that's what! Liek this: ahahahaha! Oh yes!
	[...]
Bethany [8]:	R they going 2 do any racing, u reckon?
NC Boardman:	Patience, Bethany [8]!
Bethany [8]:	Ur m8 reckoned J Alaphilippe woz gonna do teh assault attack 4 teh lulz chiz!
J Alaphilippe:	Patience, Bethany [8]!
L Rowe:	Enuff dicking about! I wanna get 2 teh finish b4 teh pub shuts!
Bethany [8]:	\o/
	[...]
N Boulting:	Hurrah! S `["Poisonous term" - Ed.]`anel is pretending 2 attack & leading teh pelican onto teh Champs-Elises!
C Boardmen:	I had an Elise^* once. It b0rked down. A lot.
TP Fairy:	O hai! O hai, J Alaphilippe! Stab!
J Alaphilippe:	Oh, FFS! Piss on mi chips, y don't u?
N Boulting:	Look, see! Teh Nogweegie Corner! Did I tell u mi Nogweegie stor...
Omnes:	Yes, ***. Yes, u did
T Pelican:	Right, that's enuff RISPEK 4 S `["Poisonous term" - Ed.]`anel! Get 'im, lads!
	[...]
T Phinney:	R we nearly there yet?
M Powerbar-Motorbiek:	No, u clod! Six moar tours!
T Phinney:	Arse!
T Cofidis:	C us bied our tiem!
SD Millar:	Look, u silly sods, iffen u don't help catch teh futile break teh futile break will not be cort!
T Cofidis:	Bof!
N Boulting:	3 laps 2 go! No moar shitverts!
Omnes:	Hallelujah!
SD Millar:	Look, see! T Cofidis haz stopped titting around!
TD Data:	C us bied our tiem!
TUAE Emirates:	This ^^^^.
T Cofidis:	OK, we're on teh front ov teh pelican. Now wot?
C Vasseur:
	[...]
J Alaphilippe:	Altho I haz 0 chance 2 pwn teh stage, I wll attack 4 teh lulz!
T Pelican:	Oh stop it!
J Alaphilippe:	Roffle!
N Boulting:	Look, see! T FdJ r going backwards!
SD Millar:	Liek they doned on Thursda. When A Démare pwned teh stage!
N Boulting:	I, er, oh. Bugger! [Improvising desparately] TT Segafredo & TB Hansgrohe haz shut down teh break, tho!
G Thomas:	R we nearly there yet?
T $ky:	2.8 km. Close enuff 4 government work!
G Thomas:	Thank fck 4 that!
Y Lampaert:	Right, u rabble! Watch thi.. oh! Piss.
A Kristoff:	\o/
J Degenkolb:	Arse!
A Démare:	1 word from u, N Bouhanni, & I will kill u! 2 DETH!
CP Sagan:	Admit it, tho, I had u all worried!
	[...]
Bethany [8]:	That Tour ov France was a Rubbish! W Barguil woz nowhere & mi Da... R Urán didn't even get halfway! Angry Bethany [8] iz angry! [FX: Door slamming, window breaking, dog barking, Vickers VC10 at full-take-off power, P Townshend attacking Marshall stack]
G Thomas:	There's no pleasing some people!
	[...]
G Imlach:	We'd love 2 sho u teh podium ceremony, onli they haven't finished building it yet!
C Prudhomme:	FFS! U had 1 job!
	[Very later]
N Boulting:	Can I ask u sumthing, Super D?
SD Millar:	Yes, ***. Yes, u can.
N Boulting:	What is a "bifter"?
SD Millar:	It's [Grams: Black Sabbath doing "Sweet Leaf", roll end credits]

* Trufax

P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nz^TM® gratefully acknowledges the noble attempt made by both TV's Nice C Boardman and TV's Evil C Boardman to turn colemantary into commentary. We'll miss you

fimm · « **Reply #1020 on:** 30 July, 2018, 08:48:39 am »

Do I understand that Chris Boardman won't be doing any more TV stuff? (I was watching the live broadcast but my husband got bored and made me turn it off.)
Did G forget Luke Rowe when he was trying to name his team?

Husband wants to know how come Lawson Craddock made it to Paris when half the sprinters didn't.

Here endeth the questions. May I add my appreciation for Pandemic Productions' take on the Tour. Thank you.

Paul · « **Reply #1021 on:** 30 July, 2018, 08:52:09 am »

Excellent work Mr L

Tim Hall · « **Reply #1022 on:** 30 July, 2018, 09:16:53 am »

Now that the Boardman twins have stepped down, will we see Bethany, who will be (9), take their place on the Anbaric Distascope?

Basil · « **Reply #1023 on:** 30 July, 2018, 09:29:33 am »

Indeed thanks Mr L.
*although somewhat disappointed that the Watchfinder General wasn't nominated for any of the awards.*

T42 · « **Reply #1024 on:** 30 July, 2018, 09:43:28 am »

Three cheers for Mr. L, P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®, Bethany[8] and the rest of her array !