The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)

[citoyen]

not to mention his youthful exuberances included shooting policemens' helmets off with an air rifle).

Your dad is William Brown AICMFP.

[Tim Hall]

not to mention his youthful exuberances included shooting policemens' helmets off with an air rifle).

Your dad is William Brown AICMFP.

Or Bertram Wooster, especially if the event in question happened on Boat Race night.

[T42]

That was Stiffie's fault.

[citoyen]

Or Bertram Wooster, especially if the event in question happened on Boat Race night.

I thought Bertie's favoured method for removing a policeman's hat was to tip it off the head from behind.

Lord Emsworth seems more of an air rifle kind of chap.

[ian]

I can't really imagine my dad as an upper-class man. He's pikey through-and-through. My mum once sent him to the garden centre to get some plants for the garden, so the cheapskate waited until it was dark and went and dug up the ones from in front. My mum, having had enough (she wasn't so choosy about video recorders, mind), sent him back to replant them. I suspect the garden centre staff were confused by their freshly dug borders and lop-sided foliage.

[ElyDave]

Fucking areshole [insert name of large oil company] bastard fuckweasels.  Not only have you objected to every facet of my workplan for three days next week, you've waited until this week to do so while I'm unable to be involved in discussions about it as I'm off doing constructive work for a grateful client.

Now to top it all off, tomorrow, you want an hour of my time after hours, and when I tell you exactly when I can talk to you after catching up from all of the stuff I haven't done because of your meddling in shit you clearly don't fucking understand this week, you try and schedule another pointless call at an entirely different time.

No!  After 60 hours my week will stop at precisely 5pm tomorrow. 

[ian]

The police will respond to your complaint in 24 hours.

Oh no they won't, says a disembodied panto voice*.

*Trust me, it's the world's weirdest ghost.

[Mrs Pingu]

Fucking areshole [insert name of large oil company] bastard fuckweasels. 

Redux. I was supposed to be off today. Instead I was rudely awakened from my nice lie in and spent 5 hours at work. I agreed to go in (because I am too fucking considerate for my own good) and do the 1 priority thing they asked for this week. Then they asked if I could do the same thing 3 more times before I fucked off home again.

Tokens, I haz them 

[ElyDave]

I was about 30 seconds from telling them they may as well cancel the audit next week, they've restricted the scope so much it's almost meaningless.

The corporate figurehead is about as effective as a melt in the mouth crisp in the way he stands up to petulant site management.

[jsabine]

Which is more effective, cancelling the audit, or caveating the report with "owing to restrictions imposed by the site manager, we are unable to report on x, y, z"?

[ElyDave]

That's why I'm still going

[David Martin]

Concrete bollard on a metal spike. Bend the bottom of the spike, put lots of wet concrete at the bottom of the hole (like several hundred kilos,) and insert bollard. That will provide them with far more of a challenge.

[hellymedic]

Rantworthy railway
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-40697125

[Cudzoziemiec]

Rantworthy railway
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-40697125

Zoinks! I'm rather surprised at the station, any station, being locked at all, ever.

[ian]

Concrete bollard on a metal spike. Bend the bottom of the spike, put lots of wet concrete at the bottom of the hole (like several hundred kilos,) and insert bollard. That will provide them with far more of a challenge.

That would be nice, if something of a construction headache. Anyway, the headteacher was a bit useless (he did apparently 'walk the route' and saw 'everything was quiet' which was a bit obviously pointless and he didn't bother to knock on my door. 'They will continue to investigate apparently,' which I don't quite believe as it's now the summer holidays). As for the police, I've discovered calling 101 is their version of /dev/null.

Hopefully the kids will graduate onto dropping bricks on the train tracks or something equally exciting, since no adult can be bothered giving much of a shit.

[hellymedic]

Rantworthy railway
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-40697125

Zoinks! I'm rather surprised at the station, any station, being locked at all, ever.

I suppose it keeps the casual thieves and vandals out.

[ian]

We once got locked in Shenfield station. Which was on balance probably better than being locked out of Shenfield station.

(Last train back from Southend, a bunch of super-doofuses tried to start robbing people, which wasn't very successful at anything other than getting the shit kicked out of themselves by a train full of drunk blokes. Anyway, the police were called to intercept the train at Shenfield, where they failed to turn up for a long time, during which our train driver ran off and was never seen again. As the did the wannabe robbers, leaving the rest of us passengers waiting around. At which point we noted that all the station staff had also gone home and locked the doors behind them. Two hours and several phone calls later someone came to let us out and begrudgingly get us all taxis for the remainder of our journey.)

[menthel]

Wow, Vodaphone are a pushy shower of bastards. Contacted them about a contract and their staff just won't give up- I will sign up when I am ready!

[rafletcher]

Bloody stupid neighbour. We live in a row of 8 cottages, and one stopcock in the street isolates all of them (in addition to each having its own stopcock). He's got a leak in his kitchen. He turned off the water (without telling us, he thought it only cut off the first 4) at 6:30 because he had a leak. Told me 10 minutes. It's now 8:15 and still no water. DIY gone wrong. Idiot.

[LittleWheelsandBig]

Tell him that you are turning the water back on in 15 minutes and see how he reacts. At least you'll have given him some warning, which is more than he did.

[Diver300]

My new work place has a no bike policy on the site, where cars and lorries and pedestrians are allowed.

It's not a bike, it's a mobility aid.  Play the workplace discrimination card.

I had noticed the wheelchair user not being discriminated against.

How can I get something to heavy to be carried by one person to be delivered by cargo bike?

2 thoughts sprung to mind
what's their attitue to sustainability, where are you supposed to park your bike having arrived on it (I assume the casr on site are commuting in?)
if pedestrians are OK they can't even pretend to be a drive through muckdonLs and be banning you on some spurios basis (cont'd p92) ie  what's the basis for banning bikes.  are trikes OK?  what about with a car sized frame around it to take up more space and be more visible

Employees' and visitors' cars aren't allowed on site. There are card access turnstiles from the car parks onto site. Deliveries etc do come on site where there is a 15 mph limit. There is a bike shed near one of the turnstiles.

I usually lift share. The car park is around 500 m from my office, which I prefer to cycle, but the bike shed is about half way, and the road from the car park to the bike shed isn't direct, making the overall route a lot longer, so saving little time if I walk to the bike shed and cycle to the car park.

I had been taking a folding bike though the turnstiles and leaving it in the office. I typically see zero moving cars on site on my journey too and from the car park.

On another site, access to the bike parking is blocked by a "no cycling" and a "cyclist dismount" sign. There is about 200 m to walk  / carry the bike to get to the bike shed.

Employees on foot, in cars and on motor bikes are, of course, allowed to the front door, bike and car park which are all close together.

[davelodwig]

My new work place has a no bike policy on the site, where cars and lorries and pedestrians are allowed.

It's not a bike, it's a mobility aid.  Play the workplace discrimination card.

I had noticed the wheelchair user not being discriminated against.

How can I get something to heavy to be carried by one person to be delivered by cargo bike?

2 thoughts sprung to mind
what's their attitue to sustainability, where are you supposed to park your bike having arrived on it (I assume the casr on site are commuting in?)
if pedestrians are OK they can't even pretend to be a drive through muckdonLs and be banning you on some spurios basis (cont'd p92) ie  what's the basis for banning bikes.  are trikes OK?  what about with a car sized frame around it to take up more space and be more visible

Employees' and visitors' cars aren't allowed on site. There are card access turnstiles from the car parks onto site. Deliveries etc do come on site where there is a 15 mph limit. There is a bike shed near one of the turnstiles.

I usually lift share. The car park is around 500 m from my office, which I prefer to cycle, but the bike shed is about half way, and the road from the car park to the bike shed isn't direct, making the overall route a lot longer, so saving little time if I walk to the bike shed and cycle to the car park.

I had been taking a folding bike though the turnstiles and leaving it in the office. I typically see zero moving cars on site on my journey too and from the car park.

On another site, access to the bike parking is blocked by a "no cycling" and a "cyclist dismount" sign. There is about 200 m to walk  / carry the bike to get to the bike shed.

Employees on foot, in cars and on motor bikes are, of course, allowed to the front door, bike and car park which are all close together.

my work bike parking is in the basement of the building, access is through the street level car portal. There are signs and I have been asked to dismount when entering the basement and push my bike.  I've refused because the floor is shiny concrete and my tyres are gripper than the cleats on my shoes.

However, when challenged last time I asked why? Because you might hit your head on the pipework for the sprinklers was the response. Oh says I so why don't motor bikers have to get off and push, there is no answer from security droid who has not asked me since.

D.

[Canardly]

So the Government is going to electrify cars but not rail? Huh?

[Kim]

So the Government is going to electrify cars but not rail? Huh?

The government is going to do fuck all.  People will buy electric cars anyway.

[menthel]

And now dealing with Sky who don't seem to know their arse from their elbow. I don't hold out much hope that the kit required for the install on Tuesday will actually arrive on time...