Author Topic: Sh!te courier thread  (Read 143234 times)

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #275 on: 25 October, 2017, 10:38:00 am »
anyone for bets on what time DPD local will show up today?  The last 2 times they were a whole day late then 4 hours early.. they're due between 11 and 12 today. 

Hopefully the company who keeps sending the wrong bloody thing are paying more each time to get a narrower time window, but DPD still seem to cock it up.

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #276 on: 25 October, 2017, 11:31:40 am »
MyHerpes, who surcharged me £11 for an "oversize" box that had already been through their network THREE TIMES without complaint.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #277 on: 25 October, 2017, 12:02:27 pm »
anyone for bets on what time DPD local will show up today?  The last 2 times they were a whole day late then 4 hours early.. they're due between 11 and 12 today. 

Hopefully the company who keeps sending the wrong bloody thing are paying more each time to get a narrower time window, but DPD still seem to cock it up.

Ah yes, DPD, or, Don't Plan Deliveries.   

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #278 on: 20 November, 2017, 06:13:53 pm »
So I stayed in all day today awaiting the promised delivery of a couple of rugs - one measures 11ft by 14ft, so is a little on the heavy side.

Come 6pm, no sign of delivery, so  I call the courier firm, who tell me cheerfully that they delivered five hours ago.  I prod a little more and it emerges, after some checking, that said rugs have been delivered to a house about half a mile from here and signed for by a builder who was working on the house.

Courier firm's response to my expression of dissatisfaction?  "Could you pop round there yourself and collect them?"

Needless to say, my response was negative.  I'm waiting for them to come back with an alternative suggestion.  As I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt for now, I'll not share their name until we see what that might be.
Why should anybody steal a watch when they can steal a bicycle?

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #279 on: 20 November, 2017, 07:38:24 pm »

  As I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt for now, I'll not share their name until we see what that might be.

I'm going to have  sixpence on Herpes. Not more than sixpence as the odds aren't particularly good, what with the multiplicity of options

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #280 on: 20 November, 2017, 09:43:32 pm »
Well, they have promised that the packages will be collected tomorrow (assuming there's someone there to hand them over) and delivered to me within a two hour window on Wednesday.  Watch this space....
Why should anybody steal a watch when they can steal a bicycle?

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #281 on: 20 November, 2017, 10:17:11 pm »
Promised delivery within a two hour window? Can I haz my sixpence back? Herpes would never do that.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #282 on: 20 November, 2017, 10:36:16 pm »
Two hours is probably how long it will take to board up the window after they’ve been.
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #283 on: 21 November, 2017, 03:48:18 am »
We have a long driveway (600 feet) from the road.  Delivery services have left parcels at:

a) our neighbor's gate adjacent to the road, and sent a photo showing that as "proof" that they delivered to our address (fail);
b) in a plastic bag (nice touch, since box was cardboard and it was raining that day) at our gate, a mere 500 feet from the house;
c) in front of our garage door, carefully placed on the obvious tire tracks, so that we will detect the delivery after driving over it;
d) at our back door (I suppose my design for the house could have put a gate or moat there); and
e) at the front door; about 90% of the time, after we have placed signs directing the delivery staff to it.

The holiday period, when the delivery services bring on additional drivers, always yields more befuddled deliveries

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #284 on: 22 November, 2017, 12:33:49 pm »
Well, they have promised that the packages will be collected tomorrow (assuming there's someone there to hand them over) and delivered to me within a two hour window on Wednesday.  Watch this space....

Well - they got half of it right. They collected the packages from the other address yesterday... and then tried to deliver to me despite having been told that I would be out all day. So I got home at about 9pm to find a note through the door and my very helpful neighbour with her hallway dominated by my packages.

On the positive side - the rugs look good  :D
Why should anybody steal a watch when they can steal a bicycle?

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #285 on: 22 November, 2017, 12:52:46 pm »
We arrived home to two parcels outside our door, not addressed to us. When we opened the door we found a note saying "We tried to deliver your parcels, your neighbour has them..." err no, there are parcels outside our door.
Now I admit that the numbering of flats within the stairwells is confusing, and if they were simply for a different flat within the stairwell it would be a matter of popping round and leaving a note. However these are for a different stairwell. How do you manage to go into block 15 when your parcel is addressed to block 13?
 
Mr fimm has been in touch with Amazon (for it is they who sent the parcels) but I don't think he had much success. I bet we are going to end up trying to blag our way into block 13 so we can leave a note...

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #286 on: 26 November, 2017, 09:21:55 pm »
When I spoke to my dad earlier today he told me about his delightful experience with myherpes, he was out yesterday morning & when he got back later my brother who lives at home had already gone out, this morning brother says to dad there was blue card saying parcel at rear of house, brother had had a look no parcel to be found, knowing how great myherpes are & based on last time they delivered a parcel when nobody was in (left in recycle bin card not discovered until after bin men had been), dad opened the recycling bin, no parcel, he next checked the food waste bin, no parcel, finally he checked the general refuse bin, guess what yes the parcel was in the bin, good job he checked them all today as its general bin day tomorrow.  :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm: :facepalm:

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #287 on: 27 November, 2017, 11:30:36 am »
Update: Mr fimm went round and delivered the parcels himself.

fuzzy

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #288 on: 27 November, 2017, 03:19:30 pm »
I think we should start charging commision for all the parcels we have delivered to their proper recipients due to courier fail.

ian

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #289 on: 22 December, 2017, 01:55:46 pm »
Parcelfarce, no you didn't attempt redelivery at 1623 yesterday. I know this because I was here, working away in silence. I think I might have thusly have noticed the van at the bottom of the drive, the knock on the door, the card on the matt etc.

Now I have to fuck about trying (and undoubtedly failing) to get it re-delivered before Christmas because, of course, it's my wife's christmas present.

ian

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #290 on: 22 December, 2017, 05:44:37 pm »
No Parcelfarce, I fear you misunderstand. I give you money, you bring the item to me. It doesn't really work if I have to come to you to get it.

As I'm not schlepping over to Sutton, I guess I'll be doing some more shopping.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #291 on: 22 December, 2017, 06:04:38 pm »
Sometimes the boot is on the other foot; I accept many deliveries at work and we have had signs up for the last 3 weeks advising couriers that we would be open today from 9.30 (half an hour earlier than usual opening) until 11.30 (much earlier than usual closing), so imagine my delight when Amazon's 3-rd party numpty driver turns up at 11.37 to be told we were closed. 'See you on 3rd January, kthxbai...'

FWIW, Herpes are by far the shitest of them all. DHL, UPS & Fedex are very good, both in reliability and set up, IME...
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

fuzzy

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #292 on: 22 December, 2017, 11:18:38 pm »
So, Yodle are employed to deliver the supplies of diabetic cat food for Willow. They e mail/ text SWMBO to say that the delivery will be with us twixt 11:00 and 21:00 on the day in question.

At 18:00, some three hors before the latest delvery time, she checks her phone. Text from Yodel says "delivered at 14:35"

Tis a lie. I was in the hoiuse awaiting the delivery. No delivery came. Noone came through the gate between the posytman at 12:15 and SWMBO at 15:15.

SWMBO gets onto live chat (cos phone line was closed) to Yodel. after 45 minutes of hanging around the 'conversation' starts and soon ends with "We will interview the driver and get back to you but the parcel was signed for by Fuzzy"

Bollox calls we. The day after the day in question SWMBO gets on the phone with Yodel and is advised that the parcel was taken to the door and signed for but then realised it was for next door so the driver left it in our porch.

Well, it isn't there says SWMBO. Yodel then advise her we should take it up with our supplier.

Having cogitated on this, we realise a) we don't have a porch and b) why would my next door neighbour sign my name for a parcel they thought was for them?

We were about to get back on the Liedel until a former colleague from the same house number in a different street knocks on my door and hands me a parcel saying it was dumped in their porch.....

I am composing a super nuclear grink for Liedel.

Bastards.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #293 on: 22 December, 2017, 11:49:10 pm »
Enjoy the Grink! I LOVE a good moan!
You have every right to complain!

At least the cat will have food to eat over Christmas...

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #294 on: 23 December, 2017, 12:32:11 am »
Got a card today and spent a long time trying to decipher which neighbour it had been left with. Eventually gave up and decided the neighbour would bring it round.

Daughter deciphers the neighbour's name and finds the parcel behind the bins.
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #295 on: 30 December, 2017, 05:51:14 pm »
The Post Office brought a parcel to within 50m of the house two weeks ago and are now denying all knowledge of it. I guess that a temporary postman couldn't find the house, as we're behind, not beside, houses n-2, n-4 etc, and there are no higher numbers.

(Parcel contained a tracking unit that works sometimes, and it was working when brought here. Tracking unit has now run out of elecktrickery so I've lost track of it's whereabouts)
Quote from: Kim
Paging Diver300.  Diver300 to the GSM Trimphone, please...

ian

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #296 on: 31 December, 2017, 04:38:16 pm »
I finally re-arranged my pre-Christmas Parcelfarce delivery as they'd given up even pretending to try and deliver it. For Friday. So, of course, they tried to deliver it on Thursday. You know, if I were on Thursday I'd have bloody chosen Thursday.

Fortunately they left it at the local Post Office, which was altogether more sensible than some depot in Sutton.

Anyway, the gin was nice.

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #297 on: 02 January, 2018, 03:28:04 pm »
DPD

A parcel was 'delivered' while we were away. MrsC received an email to say it had been delivered to number 11 and signed for by Ivan.

No it bloody hadn't. The courier had shoved a card through the door saying 'parcel in black bin'.
The rubbish bin. Literally dropped in the rubbish bin.

Good thing there wasn't a rubbish collection while we were away
<i>Marmite slave</i>

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #298 on: 02 January, 2018, 05:09:16 pm »
The Post Office brought a parcel to within 50m of the house two weeks ago and are now denying all knowledge of it. I guess that a temporary postman couldn't find the house, as we're behind, not beside, houses n-2, n-4 etc, and there are no higher numbers.

(Parcel contained a tracking unit that works sometimes, and it was working when brought here. Tracking unit has now run out of elecktrickery so I've lost track of it's whereabouts)
Sorry, but that's quite funny  ;D
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Re: Sh!te courier thread
« Reply #299 on: 02 January, 2018, 05:20:44 pm »
Just before Christmas, we received 2 parcels from Amazon - left inside our food waste bin. On top of the (stinky) food waste. :sick: Plus a card that we couldn't read through the door.
It's especially annoying because 2ft from the food waste bin is a small blue door that opens into our garage - delivery people (if they are minded to leave something rather than just take it away again) usually leave stuff in there.