You know you're a cyclist when... (pt 94)

[hellymedic]

We don't have a shoe rack.
Hall contains an overloaded coatstand, umpteen SPD shoes, half a dozen rack packs, several panniers, one bicycle, a coolbag for the milkman, windowsill adorned with gloves, lubricant, cycle clips, road sign protecting wall from pedal and chain, radiator shelf with A-Zs, hairbrushes and little plaque stating 'This home is protected by an ever-present coating of dust'...

[bumper]

We don't have a shoe rack.
Hall contains an overloaded coatstand, umpteen SPD shoes, half a dozen rack packs, several panniers, one bicycle, a coolbag for the milkman, windowsill adorned with gloves, lubricant, cycle clips, road sign protecting wall from pedal and chain, radiator shelf with A-Zs, hairbrushes and little plaque stating This home is protected by an ever-present coating of dust'...

You actually don't have room for a rack

[Paul]

I was driving home last night (had picked car up from service). I almost took the short cut that I normally take on the bike: the one that involves cycling up the dropped curb at the zebra crossing and along the 4' wide mixed use path 

[ElyDave]

you habitually drink from a water bottle

[quixoticgeek]

Next up, Name That Tyre, entirely from the sound it makes on the road ......

Or name that free hub based on the sound of the person behind freewheeling.
 
"Oh, it's a hope hub" *turns round to check* *finds hope hub*

J

[Socks]

When you see an advertising photo of two glamorous models on Moulton bikes (from the 1960's when the f-frame was the biggest selling bike in the UK) and notice that:

1 - one of them is sitting on the rear rack - that's going to bend the frame tube, that is
2 - the rear tyre is flat

[drossall]

As you lie on the ground, groaning, and waiting for the ambulance crew to pick you up, you utter the immortal words:

"How is my bike?"

At least, that's what they told me the test was...

[Kim]

Corollary to that:  While someone's lying on the ground groaning as you wait for the ambulance to turn up, you're able to reassure the casualty by determining that the saddle and bar tape are a bit scuffed, but everything else seems fine.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Nah, they're not a real real cyclist unless they then jump up and explode in fury, "But that was the Brooks Swift my great-grandfather bought from Robertson's of Newton Cross with his first wage packet in August 1937!"

[mzjo]

All the forks and spoons are bent from being used as emergency tyre levers when you (or your adolescent kids more often) can't lay hands on the real thing just before going to school. Add to that you can never find enough forks and spoons because they have been lost in the garage or on the pavement outside!

There are greasy fingerprints on your mum's special talc (which wasn't next to the inner tubes but now lurks somewhere in the garage) - that was the ado speaking.

All the bottoms of the right legs of your trousers are ripped from flapping into the chain of your fixed wheel at speed

[mattc]

You see a headline about "Virtual Reality Headsets ... blah ... "
 and think:

what the heck use is a VR headset?!?

[Whitedown Man]

Thinking of starting a new thread: “you know s/he’s not a cyclist when ...”.  My first post will be “when s/he starts their twitter rant with the words ‘as a keen cyclist myself ...’ ”

[salar55]

When you have a Park tools tyre patch in oneof the credit card slots of your wallet or purse.

[Ian H]

When cycling is an ingrained part of your being.