Author Topic: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version  (Read 22102 times)

mattc

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #50 on: 08 July, 2019, 10:52:04 pm »
(one of the Twitterers midway down that very funny page was tennis practitioner Alison Riske, who beat the world no 1 at Wimblington today...)

Oi!

Oh, hang-on - this isn't a "no-spoilers" thread, is it ...  :facepalm:

:)
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
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Kim

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #51 on: 09 July, 2019, 12:10:02 am »
Please Mr Producshunz, I has been looking at teh wellyvision adverts and it appears that if you buy an electronic pelican machine then there are two wimmins for every mans who will use it so by buying one I can get off with many cycling wimmins. Is this true?

I can't be the only person who relies on P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®'s shitvert-free coverage who had no idea what an "electronic pelican machine" was, and - after consluting the googlewebs for enlightenment - was extremely disappointed.

(Obviously I have no need for electronic enhancement when getting off with cycling wimmins, but the prospect of a machine for producing electronic pelicans - or perhaps electronically producing pelicans - was intriguing.  An internet-of-shit pedally clotheshorse, not so much.)

Mr Larrington

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #52 on: 09 July, 2019, 05:24:14 pm »
Stage 4: Reims – Nancy

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Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #53 on: 09 July, 2019, 05:29:45 pm »
The official Tour de France app for Babbage engines from the famous fruitian vendor is crap. Ok, so the information is quite nicely laid out, but the updates are slow and it crashes every second time you open it up. It is free to use, which is just as well, because, as I say, it’s crap.
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #54 on: 09 July, 2019, 06:42:57 pm »
Quote from: teh $hitverts
... Buy an Electric Pelican & a $3,000,000 penthouse 2 put it in...

 ;D :thumbsup:


"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Mr Larrington

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #55 on: 09 July, 2019, 08:26:47 pm »
Watching the highlights.  Has T Boonen had surgery to turn him into Spesh Ming The Merciless or is it just a side-effect of too much Lady Sniff?
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Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Pedal Castro

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #56 on: 09 July, 2019, 08:39:08 pm »
I had the coolest ride evah today! After watching the race go by I hopped on my bike and followed the race route for a few miles to much applause and cheers “Allez, Allez”! I have had cheers etc while riding the route before the race gets there but nothing like this. :thumbsup:

Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #57 on: 09 July, 2019, 08:49:18 pm »
Watching the highlights.  Has T Boonen had surgery to turn him into Spesh Ming The Merciless or is it just a side-effect of too much Lady Sniff?

Probably male pattern baldness - he still had most of his hair in early 2013:

https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/tom-boonen-back-in-action-after-serious-arm-infection-34108

But by the 2014 Vuelta, he'd gone for a Grade 1 buzz cut:

https://cdn-cyclingtips.pressidium.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/20140823_%C2%A9BrakeThrough-Media_3S3A3645.jpg

Before resorting to channelling Emperor Ming (Hail Ming!) in 2015:

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/gallery-etixx-quickstep-ready-for-2015/
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Mrs Pingu

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #58 on: 09 July, 2019, 10:12:23 pm »
He's got funny shaped ears as well.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Mrs Pingu

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Do not clench. It only makes it worse.


Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #61 on: 09 July, 2019, 10:23:31 pm »
https://cdn-cyclingtips.pressidium.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/20140823_%C2%A9BrakeThrough-Media_3S3A3645.jpg

Why has he got a tampon up his dose?

Embrocation/Vicks Vaporub/Olbas Oil, to open the nasal passages during the warm-up session on the rollers.

https://forums.thepaceline.net/showthread.php?t=26979

Chris Froome forgot to take them out before the prologue in 2012, resulting in some taking of the mock by, among others, Bernie Eisel.

https://twitter.com/chrisfroome/status/219155478960283649/photo/1
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #62 on: 10 July, 2019, 03:03:02 pm »
I see E.Leclerc are sponsoring the KoM now. Is the Carrefour KoM hat I trampled children for during last year's caravan obsolete or retro cool now?

T42

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #63 on: 10 July, 2019, 03:40:00 pm »
Take a good look at the countryside today, people.  This is where I live.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #64 on: 10 July, 2019, 03:41:17 pm »
Take a good look at the countryside today, people.  This is where I live.

Are all those people standing by the side of the road being in the way there all the time? Or were they ordered in specially?

Looks very pretty, tho the parking on the verges looks awful.

Also, looks lumpy...

J
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http://b.42q.eu/

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #65 on: 10 July, 2019, 03:47:47 pm »
We borrow the municipal tumbrils and gravel trucks to ferry them in, then they're left as fodder for the bears and the Mont St. Odile restaurant.

I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Mr Larrington

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #66 on: 10 July, 2019, 05:22:57 pm »
Stage 5: Saint-Dié-des-Vosges – Colmar

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Mrs Pingu

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #67 on: 10 July, 2019, 09:56:20 pm »
Aw, there waz no storks on the highlights :(
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Mr Larrington

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #68 on: 10 July, 2019, 10:34:15 pm »
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External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Beardy

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Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #69 on: 11 July, 2019, 11:48:52 am »
I think today’s stage will separate the men from the boys and we’ll see who are the GC contenders and who’s just along for the ride.
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #70 on: 11 July, 2019, 02:22:22 pm »
Aw, there waz no storks on the highlights :(

Lazy buggers can't climb.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #71 on: 11 July, 2019, 02:26:56 pm »
Aw, there waz no storks on the highlights :(

Lazy buggers can't climb.
Are you saying something or just vocalising below listening volume? I can't tell talk from mutter.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #72 on: 11 July, 2019, 04:16:37 pm »
Betcha de Gendt aches.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #73 on: 11 July, 2019, 04:25:55 pm »
Betcha de Gendt aches.
not as much as he will first thing tomorrow morning.  ;D
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Tour de France 2019 - The Unserious Version
« Reply #74 on: 11 July, 2019, 04:56:28 pm »
I’m exhausted watching that!
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.