Author Topic: Little Eye On The Provinces  (Read 114022 times)

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1725 on: April 30, 2018, 04:18:00 pm »
Quote
Bath woman’s Pavlova plans ruined after Waitrose strawberries go mouldy
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/bath-womans-pavlova-plans-ruined-1475899

Worth reading just for the argument in the comments section below
Between the Disney abattoir and the chemical refinery

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1726 on: May 02, 2018, 02:40:55 pm »
Those helpful people over at reddit have been compiling a record of the antics of the colonial evolutionary-throwback-cum-crap-superhero known as 'Florida Man': https://www.reddit.com/r/FloridaMan/

(Lock up your swans)
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1727 on: May 02, 2018, 02:57:49 pm »
And there was I thinking that Florida Man was a reference to The Perambulating Orange Toupee stand
Sorting my life out, one shed at a time.

spesh

  • Keep calm and - Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1728 on: May 22, 2018, 12:44:00 am »
Let him among us who has not got utterly mashed and then stopped by the peelers partway through filling a hotel bath with potatoes cast the first spud - sorry, I mean stone...  :D

Quote
A man found filling his hotel bath with potatoes went on a “bizarre” five-day drug binge with his friends.

James Johnson, 30, was caught by officers wearing a woman’s bra over his shirt and carrying a bag of spuds as he entered the Travelodge in Eastleigh.

His room was searched and an assortment of drugs, including ecstasy, 5-MAPB - similar to MDMA - and psychedelic substance 2CB were found as well as the tub full of potatoes.

When queried by baffled Judge Peter Henry at Southampton Crown Court as to why he had done it, he was told that “it felt like the right thing to do at the time”.

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16238593.Man_wears_bra_and_fills_hotel_bath_full_of_potatoes_during___39_bizarre__39__binge/
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves." ~ Will Rogers

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1729 on: May 22, 2018, 11:51:13 am »
When they refer to "a woman's bra" do they mean a bra belonging to a specific woman, or merely wish to emphasise that it wasn't a man-bra?
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1730 on: May 22, 2018, 11:56:11 am »
How long has filling a hotel bath with potatoes been illegal?
“There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened.”
― Douglas Adams

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1731 on: May 22, 2018, 12:05:05 pm »
I think it goes back to the time of The Peelers.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1732 on: May 22, 2018, 01:10:28 pm »
Earlier than that - since the first King Edward.

spesh

  • Keep calm and - Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1733 on: May 22, 2018, 04:33:13 pm »
By YACF punning standards, this is a bit of a half-baked effort - have you all had your chips already, or is this sort of thing really gratin these days?

The antipodean members must think we're lazy pommes...
"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves." ~ Will Rogers

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1734 on: May 22, 2018, 06:54:56 pm »
To be fair, he was Smashed at the time.
Never tell me the odds.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1735 on: May 23, 2018, 12:31:58 pm »
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44209773
This made me laugh:
Quote
"I don't know Cheltenham very well at all. I was born in Gloucester," she said.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1736 on: May 23, 2018, 08:55:07 pm »
Reunited now.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44222054

Bit concerned they're too scatty to be safe on the roads.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1737 on: May 24, 2018, 07:51:57 am »
Reunited now.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44222054

Bit concerned they're too scatty to be safe on the roads.
ditto
<i>Marmite slave</i>

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1738 on: May 24, 2018, 01:32:30 pm »
(click to show/hide)


Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1740 on: June 24, 2018, 09:36:25 pm »
East Devon News:-
"Lawn mower severely damaged in Musbury blaze"

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1741 on: July 20, 2018, 01:28:18 pm »

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1742 on: July 31, 2018, 02:27:46 pm »
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-45018213

Major disaster averted by taking a piss.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1743 on: July 31, 2018, 07:22:23 pm »
Normal in Essex   :o ;D
the slower you go the more you see

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1745 on: August 01, 2018, 04:56:01 pm »
'Humongous' wasps' nest found in Newbury garage cupboard
Use of the word 'humongous' is another clear sign of the continuing deterioration in standards at the BBC.

They should have called it 'ginaggerous'.
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1746 on: August 01, 2018, 07:12:07 pm »
I think the End Times officially started when Little Tommy Schafernaker used the word "amazeballs" during a pre-watershed weather forecast.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1747 on: August 03, 2018, 10:16:14 am »
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1748 on: August 16, 2018, 08:48:18 pm »
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/burglars-toolkit-recovered-after-police-15037506


Men arrested after cycling at 3AM with toolkit.     Are we missing any audaxers ?
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
« Reply #1749 on: August 19, 2018, 11:55:58 am »
Since Hubjub are useless for EAI sprockets these days, it was waaaay cheaper to buy a new 47T TA track chainring to use with a spare 18T than to import a 20T from the USA (about £45 before any duty, VAT and Parcelforce charges).

Annoying, because I really liked my 52 x 20.
Never tell me the odds.