Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 440055 times)

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1100 on: 20 October, 2018, 11:09:58 am »
Cake. This. Very much...  :thumbsup:
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1101 on: 20 October, 2018, 11:21:54 am »
*chortle* at Beardy
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

nicknack

  • Hornblower
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1102 on: 21 October, 2018, 08:24:03 pm »
Tipping a full glass of Delerium over my computer keyboard didn't improve its operation much.
It was my last bottle of Delerium too.  :'(
There's no vibrations, but wait.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1103 on: 22 October, 2018, 09:56:11 am »
Aye well.  Last week I had a gut upset one evening and was utterly knackered the next day but pressed on with my current guitar build: I marked out & cut the fret-slots in a fretboard then went happily ahead and put the frets in then dressed the ends, which is a bloody fiddly process - the wood between frets has to be protected with masking tape and each fret gets its ends first shaped with a special file then polished with micromesh. I did all this diligently and contentedly, and was quite chuffed with the finished article.

That's when I realized that I should have glued the damn thing to the neck after slotting and before fretting, because you always make fretboard a fraction wider than the neck and take it down flush after gluing.

As a result I had to wrench two frets out to put in locating pins so that it wouldn't shift during clamping, which caused minor splintering around the slots. Clamping itself involved putting cauls between the frets and using every clamp in the shop instead of just half a dozen on to nice big cauls.   Once the glue had cured I couldn't plane down the edge but had to take it - and my nicely-dressed frets - down with a great big bastard file instead, then mask off the wood, dress & polish the fret-ends all over again, then take care of the splintering that remained visible once the two frets were back in.

Had to work through the weekend instead of cycling. Knackered today, but I've got to press on...
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1104 on: 22 October, 2018, 10:30:05 am »
I ordered some binary numbers for my wheelie bins. I got cross while trying to decide which font I wanted them in because the order form kept telling my I was below the minimum size for that font.

The numbers arrived this morning in an A4 card backed envelope.

I couldn’t find the numbers in the envelope so was cursing the supplier for efficiently getting it wrong. I then found the numbers sticky taped to the back of the invoice.

The 25mm numbers look cute on the wheelie bins, but lack the visual punch that the 25cm numbers I thought I’d ordered would have  :facepalm:

Easy fix, order some dwarves to manage your bins...
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1105 on: 22 October, 2018, 10:55:03 pm »
I ordered some binary numbers for my wheelie bins. I got cross while trying to decide which font I wanted them in because the order form kept telling my I was below the minimum size for that font.

The numbers arrived this morning in an A4 card backed envelope.

I couldn’t find the numbers in the envelope so was cursing the supplier for efficiently getting it wrong. I then found the numbers sticky taped to the back of the invoice.

The 25mm numbers look cute on the wheelie bins, but lack the visual punch that the 25cm numbers I thought I’d ordered would have  :facepalm:

Easy fix, order some dwarves to manage your bins...
Or, get one of those big magnifiers for televisions and stand it in front of the bin.

Or, send several pairs of binoculars to your local authority’s refuse collection depot.

Or, replace your house numbers with 25mm digits.
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1106 on: 22 October, 2018, 11:05:28 pm »
Zap the bins with a shrink ray, and then the numbers will be the right size.

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1107 on: 22 October, 2018, 11:22:08 pm »
If he’s got a shrink ray, why’s he worried about bin collection? He should be out there righting wrongs or toppling corrupt regimes.

At the very least, he could be shrinking his refuse so that the bin wouldn’t have to be emptied in his lifetime.

(Would shrunken refuse smell less, proportionately?)
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1108 on: 23 October, 2018, 04:58:45 am »
surely a shrink ray can only be used for evil?

Stealing the moon or something, maybe threaten Trumpainia with shrinking it's biggest buildings to "make America small again!"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1109 on: 23 October, 2018, 08:43:51 am »
If I had a shrink ray, then the obvious thing to do would be to concoct a feedback reversal function and make the numbers bigger. Duh!
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1110 on: 23 October, 2018, 08:57:35 am »
Presumably "binary numbers" is a pun, or have you actually labelled them in ones and zeros? It's the kind of geeky nonsensical thing that happens on YACF.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1111 on: 23 October, 2018, 09:12:48 am »
Much as I would like to claim that I have indeed labelled my wheel bins 11101, or indeed had even thought about doing so but rejected it, I have to report that is a consequence of an auto corrected typo which I did not pick up.
However, I’m now away to find out just how much it will cost to label my bins in base 2 😁
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1112 on: 23 October, 2018, 02:22:39 pm »
Zap the bins with a shrink ray, and then the numbers will be the right size.

Or get Father Dougal to be your refuse operative.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1113 on: 23 October, 2018, 07:47:15 pm »
Me. yesterday. Given an unwanted set of Hobbits films that I can download to Ultraviolet and watch while I am away.

Invalid code. Repeat ad nauseam.

So I e-mail the Sony help desk to find out WTF the problem is.

It wasn't WTF but WB. They are Warner Brothers films...
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1114 on: 25 October, 2018, 09:33:17 am »
I forgot to take my camera out of my cycling jacket pocket. Did it get put in the washing machine and drownded utterly to deth? Yes. Yes it did  :(

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1115 on: 26 October, 2018, 05:07:46 pm »
Relatively low on the logarithmic Feckingdiv Scale: I came out of my office just now and was greeted by a smell of burning dust in our bedroom. I crawled round the floor sniffing and feeling various wall warts, timers and adaptors, but all were cool and unsmelly. Turned off everything that was still on then went downstairs to announce the alarming news; only find that MrsT had lit our wood stove for the first time this winter. The summer's dust on top of the firebox always burns off & stinks rather alarmingly.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Feanor

  • It's mostly downhill from here.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1116 on: 27 October, 2018, 03:41:34 pm »
At a local Japanese restaurant last night, Idiot Boy managed to embarrass himself...

A dish of peas-still-in-their-pods arrived, along with an empty bowl for the discarded empty pods.
I didn't pay much attention, and by the time I looked over, both bowls were equally full.

Not having realised the situation, I assumed that both bowls contained the same thing, and ate everyone else's empty discarded pods thinking they were the dish!
"Hmm" I thought. "These are distinctly average!"

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1117 on: 27 October, 2018, 05:10:53 pm »
Peas or edamame beans?
Partner has form...

Feanor

  • It's mostly downhill from here.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1118 on: 27 October, 2018, 06:31:20 pm »
Uuh, Dunno.
That thing you said sounds vaguely familiar, but I wasn't paying attention!

These little green buggers:


Beans by Ron Lowe, on Flickr

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1119 on: 27 October, 2018, 08:17:50 pm »
you can eat the outside of the pods when young, it's the inner membrane that gets tough.  Still, you probably got "those" looks in the restaurant
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1120 on: 27 October, 2018, 08:25:29 pm »
Those are the buggers! There are usually two beans per pod and each bean is around 10 by 14 millimetres.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1121 on: 09 November, 2018, 09:22:22 am »
Having got a new pair of knee warmers via Ebay I put them down in the wrong place and wrong time and this resulted in one of them now having a small hole  >:( :( :( >:(

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1122 on: 09 November, 2018, 05:09:31 pm »
Go to optician for contact lens and general eye checking, so I'm wearing my contact lenes. R is -5.25, L is -4.75.

Do the reading the letters thing, is it clearer like this or like this stuff and so on. My (corrected) vision isn't as good as it should be. Sucking of teeth from optician and scratching of head.


"Have you put them in the correct way round?"

<fx: replay putting in lenses this morning>
<fx: tolchocks self round gulliver>
"Ah. Yes"


>
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1123 on: 10 November, 2018, 01:34:29 pm »
There's worse. One morning in 1972, after a somewhat boozy evening with friends, I drowsily put both of mine in the same eye then spent 10 frantic minutes hunting for the "lost" one.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

essexian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1124 on: 10 November, 2018, 04:52:50 pm »
Got a rather large hole in my left hand at the moment after managing to impale the bit under my thumb with a 5mm allen key which got nicely twisted internally.

One trip to A&E later, I now have a large bandage on and a clear instruction not to do any DIY for the next week. They did not put a stitch in it as the nurse said it would just pull out again if they tried.

Ouch and rather ouch. Teach me to watch half of a "how to" video on Youtube.... the safety warning was right at the end!

 :facepalm: