Author Topic: Overheard today (Read 121279 times)

Tim Hall · « **Reply #100 on:** 11 January, 2014, 10:50:45 am »

Sitting chatting to Dad, currently laid up in hospital. Behind the curtain in the next bed was a chap who'd been stabbed. He's talking to a 12 year old CID officer.

12 yo CID: "Were you scared?"

Chap: "Not really. I'm a born again Christian, so I know where I'm going. I just don't want to go there yet."

Pingu · « **Reply #101 on:** 05 February, 2014, 02:41:28 pm »

Quote from: A visiting lady at work

I meet a lot of my clients in hotels.

mattc · « **Reply #102 on:** 05 February, 2014, 03:28:32 pm »

Quote from: Pingu on 05 February, 2014, 02:41:28 pm

Quote from: A visiting lady at work
I meet a lot of my clients in hotels.

Pingu, could you be more specific about the following:
"at work" and
"lady" ?

Deano · « **Reply #103 on:** 19 February, 2014, 06:18:42 pm »

One lad to his mate, on a train to Middlesbrough:

"Do you know what I wanna be when I grow up?"

"What?"

"Shakespeare."

And they say the kids of Teesside lack aspiration.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #104 on:** 19 February, 2014, 11:16:10 pm »

Young woman*, probably student, to bunch of similar (m and f) coming out of cafe:
"...but it's a pain in the arse finding somewhere to park it, whereas I can just jump off the bike and..."

*I promise this is the last time I use that phrase until I really am 70.

Basil · « **Reply #105 on:** 06 May, 2014, 05:57:44 pm »

Some bloke standing at the bar in the pub¹ last night seemed to be having a rant about "the farmer cuticle industry".
Took me a while.

¹ The welsh one.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #106 on:** 06 May, 2014, 06:38:37 pm »

C'mon, who wouldn't want to tickle a cute farmer?

hellymedic · « **Reply #107 on:** 06 May, 2014, 07:16:39 pm »

I thought this was about breeding manicurists...

Paul · « **Reply #108 on:** 06 May, 2014, 11:30:09 pm »

Another nail in the coffin of UK agriculture?

I'll get my lab coat...

Kim · « **Reply #109 on:** 17 May, 2014, 10:55:34 pm »

Fragment of conversation from students walking past:

"You have the same nuts as me! Let's have a look...?"

billplumtree · « **Reply #110 on:** 30 June, 2014, 08:31:09 pm »

Onna train from Glasgow this afternoon:

"Did mum tell you she's learned how to make churros?"
"Yer mam's making her own Cheerios now?"
"CHURROS. C-h-u-r-r-o-s. Them Spanish donut things."

cygnet · « **Reply #111 on:** 30 June, 2014, 10:28:14 pm »

Wandering through the park at lunchtime

Quote

"and everyone knows all dogs are nazis"

jogler · « **Reply #112 on:** 01 July, 2014, 04:54:27 pm »

Uttered by one of the cards-in employees.

"I'm not doing any work.That's what agency plebs are for"

Feanor · « **Reply #113 on:** 01 July, 2014, 06:40:32 pm »

Told to me by guy at my work, who had been a teacher...

Girl: "..yea, what I want is to be famous, just like my dad..."
Him: "Oh? Who's your dad? What's he famous for?"
Girl: "Oh, he's not. He just wants to be famous too."

Kim · « **Reply #114 on:** 14 July, 2014, 12:48:24 am »

Passing zombies again:

"...the entirety of the south-west is probably *the* most useful area in this country. London is..."

Basil · « **Reply #115 on:** 19 July, 2014, 05:34:25 pm »

Lads watching the cricket in the pub were discussing the absence of DRS.
"Even football has been kicked dragging and screaming into the 21st century."

Dibdib · « **Reply #116 on:** 19 July, 2014, 05:39:19 pm »

Quote from: Basil on 19 July, 2014, 05:34:25 pm

Lads watching the cricket in the pub were discussing the absence of DRS.
"Even football has been kicked dragging and screaming into the 21st century."

Why would cricketers have adjustable rear spoilers?

Basil · « **Reply #117 on:** 19 July, 2014, 05:43:11 pm »

For the same reason that F1 drivers need a decision review system.

Basil · « **Reply #118 on:** 19 July, 2014, 06:59:07 pm »

Ackcherly, I'm really enjoying the lads' conversation. (I can't avoid overhearing, they're on the next table to me). They're watching the crigged whilst having a very wide ranging "life, universe and everything" chat and banter. I'm guessing they're 23- 26 ish. Their political opinions are very catholic and not at all tabloid headline based.
How refreshing. So much more engaged than the kids of their age in the last two decades.
This is a good thing.
There is just the one of them who is rather out of his depth. He begins every one of his interjections with "I'm not being funny, but........."
And, do you know? He's right. He's not being at all funny.
Still, they obviously love him, so that's nice.

Paul · « **Reply #119 on:** 19 July, 2014, 11:59:47 pm »

Quote from: Basil on 19 July, 2014, 06:59:07 pm

Ackcherly, I'm really enjoying the lads' conversation. (I can't avoid overhearing, they're on the next table to me). They're watching the crigged whilst having a very wide ranging "life, universe and everything" chat and banter. I'm guessing they're 23- 26 ish. Their political opinions are very catholic and not at all tabloid headline based.
How refreshing. So much more engaged than the kids of their age in the last two decades.
This is a good thing.
There is just the one of them who is rather out of his depth. He begins every one of his interjections with "I'm not being funny, but........."
And, do you know? He's right. He's not being at all funny.
Still, they obviously love him, so that's nice.

That's all lovely.

There's always hope.

Wobbly John · « **Reply #120 on:** 12 November, 2014, 10:21:54 pm »

Outside a supermarket in town, today, two guys were chatting as they smoked fags...

...they were moaning about how much sugar there is in fruit juices.

David Martin · « **Reply #121 on:** 12 November, 2014, 10:26:38 pm »

Quote from: Paul on 19 July, 2014, 11:59:47 pm

There's always hope.

Isn't that in Derbyshire, not Brum?

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #122 on:** 13 November, 2014, 12:22:12 am »

"It’s not a dangerous agent that we worry about. The precautions that we use are laid down in statute, if you like, and we would be using them if we were using something from dinosaur dung that we reanimated from 40,000 years ago."
(discussing a medical technique using attenuated herpes virus to call cancer cells)

Paul · « **Reply #123 on:** 13 November, 2014, 03:09:59 am »

Quote from: David Martin on 12 November, 2014, 10:26:38 pm

Quote from: Paul on 19 July, 2014, 11:59:47 pm

There's always hope.
Isn't that in Derbyshire, not Brum?

I'm from one and in the other.

clarion · « **Reply #124 on:** 13 November, 2014, 03:58:56 pm »

People in Edale are round the bend and beyond Hope.