| Bethany (7): | o hai g imlach ive got a bone 2 pik wif u wot u mene bout mi mum eh sa hi 2 niec c boardman & g tomas also u haz a typo on ur staeg map u silies xXx bthny |
| G Imlach: | O hai! Le Puy! Nôtre Dame de France! U can climb out ov her head, u kno1! |
| NC Boardman: | O hai! Wind! |
| G Imlach: | Teams. C Froome haz one. D Martin haz one. R Bardet haz one. F Aru haz not one. Wind. |
| N Boulting: | O hai! P Gilbert haz teh lurgi. Bad 4 D Martin! Wind! |
| R Urán: | Oi! What about me! |
| N Boulting: | Who said that? |
| M Smith: | Wind! |
| SD Millar: | O hai! Wind! Pelican kablooie! Oh yes. Sunweb zoom zoom first climb M Matthews kill M Kitteh utterly 2 DETH! Stage win. Snottyjumper. Voon! |
| N Boulting: | Break! Futile? |
| SD Millar: | B-Dog? GV Avermaet? T BMC, oh yes! |
| GV Avermaet: | S! T! F! U! FFS, SD Millar, u cock! |
| Omnes: | U seen hiz hatz, GV Avermaet? Roffle! |
| GV Avermaet: | Millarnery2, lol!!1! Plz 2 send jpegs! |
| Omnes: | U got m@il! |
| […] |
| SD Millar: | Today’s buzzthing iz “into teh red.” R-E-D. RED! Or was that Sunday’s? Perhaps iz “blow apart”? |
| Omnes: | Our money iz on “Wind”! |
| S Cummings: | O hai! Bide, bide, bidEEEEEE bai! Oh. |
| M Matthews: | Oi, T Sunweb! WTF u playing at? |
| TD Gendt: | O hai! I, TD Gendt, Racing Beast and tactical cauliflower, say go! From now on I want u all 2 call me “TRBD Gendt”! |
| Omnes: | Whizzkid sittin’ pretty on hiz 2-wheeled stallion? LOL @ TD Gendt! |
| TD Gendt: | Fck! Off! |
| M Matthews: | Well bloody sod ya, then! I’ll do it miself! Oi, D Martin! Go! Away! |
| […] |
| Bethany (7): | I imagine W Barguil is keeping his hyperbole from going into teh red today. What, with a couple ov big mountain stages coming up an’ t’ing. And teh wind! |
| TD Gendt: | I can still get ‘im, u know! |
| Bethany (7): | Roffle! |
| J Bauer: | Previously on ‘24’ I, J Bauer, haz conkered teh baddies M Matthews 1ngle handed! |
| […] |
| SD Millar: | Wind! T Sunweb! w00t! |
| M Kitteh: | O hai! I, M Kitteh, do not liek dis game! Plz 2 stop it! Also, miaow! |
| N Boulting: | Pelican! In pieces! M Smith & K “T D00d” House, speak 2 us ov Wind! |
| K House: | Yes. No. Gutters. Aru Urán! |
| N Boulting: | SCIENCE ov Wind! TV’s JA Flecha said so! |
| JA Flecha: | He’s right, u know! |
| N Boulting: | S Cummings not biding hiz tiem! S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel! Oh! |
| […] |
| N Boulting: | Lunchtiem! |
| M Smith: | D Martin, M Kitteh! |
| Omnes: | Crivvens! M Smith used a comma! |
| K House: | M Matthews! |
| M Smith: | Wind! |
| ML Maire: | (Snoring…) |
| […] |
| W Barguil: | I can haz spottypoint! |
| Bethany (7): | \o/ |
| […] |
| M Smith: | M Kitteh? Lurgi? |
| K House: | All teh other sprinters in teh pelican! N Bouhanni, A Kristoff, A Greipel! |
| Omnes: | MUNKEH! |
| TP Fairy: | O hai! I, TP Fairy, cycling’s rnser 2 teh DUP, fancy a day out! O hai, PT Voeckler, o hai, A Contador! |
| PT Voeckler: | Piss! |
| A Contador: | Arse! |
| M Smith: | Wind! |
| […] |
| N Boulting: | M Kitteh? |
| SD Millar: | Teh D00m – M Kitteh haz it! |
| N Boulting: | Wind! |
| M Kitteh: | Miow! |
| […] |
| N Boulting: | …and when I see teh big bunch ov Nogweegies wif Nogweegie flags & T-shaped shirts saying “Nogwegia” I always sa “O hai! Where u from?” LOL!!1! |
| Omnes: | Oooh, ***! You utter wag! |
| SD Millar: | U spelled “tw@” wrong! |
| N Boulting: | Get tae fck, Super D, or I set fire 2 ur hat! |
| […] |
| N Boulting: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! |
| M Matthews: | Snottypoints 4 me, lol @ M Kitteh! |
| M Kitteh: | … |
| […] |
| Bethany (7): | O hai! Skool’s out! What’s occurring? |
| ML Maire: | Nothing! |
| Bethany (7): | What, again? |
| 5: | Haz G Thomas been on? |
| ML Maire: | Nope! |
| 5: | Oh, poo-eeeeeeee3! |
| N Boulting: | Not so fast! Teh race will turn a corner and Wind! Perhaps teh pelican will be blown apart! |
| A Contador: | Iz good idea! Let’s put teh pelican 2 teh sword! |
| (Almost immediately…) |
| A Contador: | Fooled u! I was really looking 4 teh road 2 Spaign-o! |
| JJ Jarlinsson: | O hai! I, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking, pronounce u “git”, A Contador! Do that again and u can explain it 2 mi associate El Mjölñiro! |
| 5: | Silly A Contador! When mi Daddy wants 2 kill teh birdies he uses teh Purdey! |
| N Boulting: | Whence cometh teh Wind? |
| B Dylan: | U don’t need a weatherman, u kno! Or even TV’s Nice C Boardman! |
| SD Millar: | Wind! 4 teh luv ov Dog, wind! FFS! Or teh plebs will think we maed it up! |
| N Boulting: | Wind! Over their right shoulders! |
| Immediate cut 2 shot ov flag indicating a full-on headwind |
| N Boulting: | Liek I said, a headwind! |
| SD Millar: | …2 pieces… |
| […] |
| N Boulting & SD Millar: | Wind! |
| […] |
| T $ky: | Right, watch this! |
| JJ Jarlinsson: | Ow! I felled on El Mjölñiro and hav killed miself utterly 2 DETH! |
| D Martin: | Arse! Wuffo u useless tarts stay wif M Kitteh? |
| SD Millar: | Conveyor belt! |
| C Froome: | Hold on! Where mi team gone? |
| M Landa: | Ph3@r not, C Froome! I will save u (Aside…) Agane  |
| […] |
| D Bennati: | O hai and, moreover, bai! |
| T Sunweb: | Resistance is futile! |
| GV Avermaet: | C me… Oh! |
| B-Dog: | Yay! Pwnage! |
| M Matthews: | Soz, B-Dog, but wrongness: u haz it! MOAR snottypoints 4 meeeeeeee & lol @ M Kitteh! |
| B-Dog: | FFS! |
| J Degenkolb: | FFS! He looked @ me in a funny tone ov voice! |
| C Prudhomme: | Fck off, J Degenkolb! |
| M Kitteh: | Fckles! |
| D Martin: | This ^^^^. Also, wind… |
