| G Imlach: | O hai! I Montoya N Quintana! T AS-TA-NA? T $ky? |
| M Rendall: | Alohohahaha! Mi spikim SMERSH! Unser pelahim Bond James Bond dictu nyetski! A Valverde M Landa C Waddle! Major motion picture? Rosa Klebb! |
| G Imlach: | I think that means “no”. |
| N Boulting: | O hai! M Matthews? |
| SD Millar: | O hai! Race within race! Whole different race! Ball race, mill race, horse race! Master race? |
| Omnes: | Bridge! |
| C Lion: | w00t! |
| N Boulting & SD Millar: | Wind! |
| Omnes: | What, again? |
| SD Millar: | AG2R. Sneaky fckrs. Rampy! |
| Omnes: | What, again? Get in teh cannon, SD Millar! |
| […] |
| N Boulting: | Chute! |
| Omnes: | U gr8 ponce! |
| W Barguil: | Piss! |
| Bethany (7): | Noes! |
| TD Gendt: | w00t! 4 sure! |
| M Kitteh: | Arse! Bai bai snottyjumper! |
| T Katusha: | We changed our mind. We don’t want him! |
| S Cummings: | C me bide my… WTF? Mi trousis! |
| Omnes: | 5.8 from teh YACF judge! |
| S Cummings: | GITS!!1! |
| M Kitteh: | Hurrah 4 mi l33t car-holding 5k1llz! Back in teh pelican! |
| […] |
| SD Millar: | M Matthews… just having fun. Wot a creep1! |
| P Roglic: | Oww! |
| Omnes: | 5.1. Poor! |
| SD Millar: | Desperately desperate2! |
| Up teh Ornon… |
| TD Gendt: | Ha! While W Barguil is stuck inside teh pelican I, T ‘Racing Beast’ D Gendt will steal all teh spottypoints! 4 sure! |
| M Matthews: | O RLY? |
| Omnes: | Power in teh darkness? LOL! |
| TD Gendt: | U utter git, M Matthews! 4 sure! |
| M Matthews: | Not’ing poisonal, jus’ bizniz! |
| […] |
| N Boulting: | Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! |
| M Matthews: | Iz not I don’t trust u, TD Gendt, but I don’t trust u! |
| TD Gendt: | 4 sure… (Whistles innocently…) |
| N Boulting: | Reboot! Also, lunch! M Smith & B Hoban, make with teh erudition! |
| B Hoban: | E Merckx! |
| M Kitteh: | U remember wot I said yesterday? That, only more so! |
| N Quintana: | O hai! Mi naem ect ect. |
| A Contador: | O hai! Remind me which way 2 Spaign-o? |
| N Quintana: | Giro? WTF woz I thinking? |
| Omnes: | Have u tried hanging onto a motorbike, N Quintana roffle? |
| SD Millar: | B Mollema, TT Segafredo, B Mollema! Pace. B Mollema! |
| N Boulting: | Iz M Gogl! |
| SD Millar: | (Improvising desperately…) TD Gendt? |
| M Gogl: | (Gurgles) |
| S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel: | (Whimpers…) |
| S Geschke: | Oog! |
| A long way upper… |
| D Navarro: | O hai, TD Gendt, o hai M Matthews! Made ov teh win, me! |
| TD Gendt! | WTF? |
| M Matthews: | OK, u win! Soz, W Barguil! |
| Bethany (7): | Bum! |
| JJ Jarlinsson: | O hai, A Contador! In spite ov ur crimes ov yesterday I, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking, will assist u in ur quest! Say hello 2 mi Questing Beast, El Fenrîrø! |
| A Contador: | Nice doggie! |
| B Mollema: | Wot about me? I pwned a stage too, u know! |
| Omnes: | Who said that? LOL! |
| TD Gendt: | Yay! MOAR spottypoints! Go me! |
| W Barguil: | Yeah yeah and, moreover, wha’evs… |
| [Eventually…] |
| TD Gendt: | OK, ‘nuff’s enuff! Tiem 4 a breather! |
| B Hoban: | E Merckx! |
| M Kitteh: | OK, ‘nuff’s enuff! Miaowwwwwwww! |
| M Matthews: | FFS, M Kitteh, couldn’t u have doned that b4 teh Ornon? |
| B Hoban: | Teh French, eh? J Anquetil! E Merckx! |
| P York (via email): | Eat MOAR pies! |
| B Hoban: | E Merckx! |
| [At teh bottom ov teh Télégraphe] |
| N Boulting: | A Contador! L Minkies? |
| SD Millar: | Yarbles! Negativity! All wrong! No RISPEK! Or somethings. |
| Omnes: | Do u ‘ave a licence 4 ur Minkies roffle? |
| JJ Jarlinsson: | OK, A Contador, up 2 u and Bignose over there! |
| SD Millar: | B Swift. Wot’s he playing at? Wnkr! |
| [Onto teh Galibier…] |
| P Roglic: | O hai! I may have felled off earlier but I haz teh spottypoints Télégraphique also! |
| A Contador: | Snoo 2 ur spottyambitions, P Roglic! I, A Contador, haz fooled u all agane! |
| S Pauwels: | O hai! Win, me! |
| N Boulting: | Wind! |
| P Roglic: | ComeonecomeOnCOMEON, A Contador! |
| A Contador: | U not been here b4, have u, laddie! |
| SD Millar: | Descent! C Froome! |
| A Contador: | Fck! Off! |
| JD Notapuma: | O hai! I, JD Notapuma am aktualy in teh race too, am made ov teh win and in teh absence ov M Kitteh, am teh only feline left on teh road! Thus it fall 2 me 2 say “Miaow”! |
| M Kitteh: | Fck! Off! |
| D Martin: | I ATE’NT DEAD!!1! |
| S Yates: | Fck! Off! |
| M Kwiatkowski: | Ug! Bai! M Nieve, over 2… Oh! |
| C Froome: | Yoicks! |
| M Landa: | Ph3@r not, C Froome, I will save u. Agane  |
| D Martin: | Plz not 2 trouble ur self, M Landa! Oh. |
| W Barguil: | Mi turn! |
| Bethany (7): | Yay! |
| R Bardet: | Mi turn! |
| C Froome: | O RLY? |
| R Urán: | O RLY? |
| F Aru: | STOP THAT! IT’S SILLY! Oh. Arse! |
| Bethany (7): | Leave W Barguil alone, u horrids! |
| P Roglic: | Yay! Spottypoints! |
| W Barguil: | Yay! Spottypoints! |
| P Roglic: | Also, I am used 2 throwing miself off teh mountainz! |
| ML Maire: | Look, see, that’s where mi motorcar b0rked its clutch cable in 1991! |
| [And breathe…] |
| P Roglic: | \o/ Wot’s all teh fuss about, eh? I haz mi eye on ur spottyjumper, W Barguil! |
| Bethany (7): | Fck! Off! |
| R Urán: | Ha! |
| C Froome: | Ha! |
| R Bardet: | Piss! |
| F Aru: | Aroooooooh… Fckls! |
| S Yates: | U utter git, D Martin! But I still haz teh juniorshinyjumper so poo on L Minkies! |
| A Yates: | Told u we should ov shared teh riding! |
| P Roglic: | Crazy! 4 sure! Crazy! |
| CP Sagan: | I heard that! |
| P Roglic: | Crazy! Mi Mum & Dad & grilf! Crazy! |
| CP Sagan: | I’m warning u! |
| E Macron: | O hai! Je suis le président, aussi win. Wot u do? |
| R Bardet: | WTF? |
| Bethany (7): | Oi, G Imlach, u still not said wot u kno about mi Mum! |
| Bethany’s Mum: | I ‘eard vat, u little slag! U gerrin ‘ere an’ do yore ‘omework! |
