Do we have a food rant thread? All those bad, disappointing culinary experiences should have a home.
Do we have a food rant thread? All those bad, disappointing culinary experiences should have a home.
Anyway.
Burgers. Londontown is full of 'upmarket' burger joints now. Every-bloody*-where. Byrons sprout like toadstools overnight, and if it's not a Byrons, it's something similar. Gourmet this. Meat that. There will come a point when entire streets are just a sweaty crush of Nandos and Byrons. The final reckoning will be Cow vs. Chicken. Some kind of cross-species meaty West Side Story. When all the buildings are full, they appear in vans, a wagon train from Hackney. Someone offered me a burger with kimchee yesterday. Fuck it, Hackney gets further east every day, it's like its on its own tectonic plate.
Since I got off the vegetarian bus at meaty central, I confess I've sampled a few burgers. I like burgers. It's meat in a sandwich. A simple pleasure. One I'd forgone for several years. I'll be honest, I don't want creativity. A good burger requires a good slab of fresh meat, optional cheese, lettuce, onion, and tomato. That's it. No kimchee, no single herd origin ripened alpaca cheese, no alfalfa sprouts. Just stop. And for some reason, in 2015, queuing is a desirable thing. For a meat sandwich.
The thing is: these burgers are a bit dull. They're overcooked, overpriced, overdecorated. I've just paid £8 for a sandwich. Oh look, they've served my wine in a jam jar. Erm. And why do I even have wine with a burger. This is not France (ironically, the best burger I ever had, and as a former resident of the American colonies I've had many burgers, was in France – some unaspiring place near Annecy – as far as I could tell they'd forgone the grill and just left it out in the sun for several minutes, and the waiter didn't have to give me the cow's biography).
This came to mind when I had, for the first time in like forever, a McD's the other day. If you're waiting for a plane at Lisbon airport, don't expect gastronomy. I wasn't expecting much, but I actually enjoyed. Admittedly, they'd added extra nostalgia sauce to my Big Mac.
Gourmetification is what I call it. Simple foods get extravagantly dressed up. Gastropubs do it all the time.
You can't order a full English breakfast without getting some kind of ethnically diverse sausage, a meaty immigrant to rouse your inner Farage.
*Not bloody though, they're generally most insistent on it being medium, which translated to British cooking, means it may as well have sat in the blast radius of a nuclear explosion.
I forgot pickles earlier. Good burgers require pickles. Cheese, not so much. Bacon definitely not.
And stop making the damn burgers so thick ! Posh burgers always seem to be massive. That's no good , you need to be able to get the burger and bun into your mouth together, its a sandwich the whole point is the combination of bun, salad pickles and burger not for you to have to dismantle it and eat the constituent parts separately.
There's still a Wimpy in Carmarthen. It's exactly how you remember Wimpys to be. :)
And stop making the damn burgers so thick ! Posh burgers always seem to be massive. That's no good , you need to be able to get the burger and bun into your mouth together, its a sandwich the whole point is the combination of bun, salad pickles and burger not for you to have to dismantle it and eat the constituent parts separately.
Yeah, whatever happened to round white plates?
Why do I keep getting food on a chopping board, in a mini metal bucket, on a fecking slate....
surly pancettaDon't give them ideas, they've got enough silly names as it is.
And stop making the damn burgers so thick ! Posh burgers always seem to be massive. That's no good , you need to be able to get the burger and bun into your mouth together, its a sandwich the whole point is the combination of bun, salad pickles and burger not for you to have to dismantle it and eat the constituent parts separately.
Kimchee in a burger is really nice.
Do we have a food rant thread? All those bad, disappointing culinary experiences should have a home.
Anyway.
Burgers. Londontown is full of 'upmarket' burger joints now. Every-bloody*-where. Byrons sprout like toadstools overnight, and if it's not a Byrons, it's something similar. Gourmet this. Meat that. There will come a point when entire streets are just a sweaty crush of Nandos and Byrons. The final reckoning will be Cow vs. Chicken. Some kind of cross-species meaty West Side Story. When all the buildings are full, they appear in vans, a wagon train from Hackney. Someone offered me a burger with kimchee yesterday. Fuck it, Hackney gets further east every day, it's like its on its own tectonic plate.
Since I got off the vegetarian bus at meaty central, I confess I've sampled a few burgers. I like burgers. It's meat in a sandwich. A simple pleasure. One I'd forgone for several years. I'll be honest, I don't want creativity. A good burger requires a good slab of fresh meat, optional cheese, lettuce, onion, and tomato. That's it. No kimchee, no single herd origin ripened alpaca cheese, no alfalfa sprouts. Just stop. And for some reason, in 2015, queuing is a desirable thing. For a meat sandwich.
The thing is: these burgers are a bit dull. They're overcooked, overpriced, overdecorated. I've just paid £8 for a sandwich. Oh look, they've served my wine in a jam jar. Erm. And why do I even have wine with a burger. This is not France (ironically, the best burger I ever had, and as a former resident of the American colonies I've had many burgers, was in France – some unaspiring place near Annecy – as far as I could tell they'd forgone the grill and just left it out in the sun for several minutes, and the waiter didn't have to give me the cow's biography).
This came to mind when I had, for the first time in like forever, a McD's the other day. If you're waiting for a plane at Lisbon airport, don't expect gastronomy. I wasn't expecting much, but I actually enjoyed. Admittedly, they'd added extra nostalgia sauce to my Big Mac.
Gourmetification is what I call it. Simple foods get extravagantly dressed up. Gastropubs do it all the time.
You can't order a full English breakfast without getting some kind of ethnically diverse sausage, a meaty immigrant to rouse your inner Farage.
*Not bloody though, they're generally most insistent on it being medium, which translated to British cooking, means it may as well have sat in the blast radius of a nuclear explosion.
The fuckers probably used the word artisanal as well. The only thing I see when I see that word used are the last four letters. Fuckers.
And another thing, Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles! You appear to have stopped selling your own-brand not-butter. I do not wish to spend double the amount on poncey Lurpak, I am boycotting Country Life because J Rotten, and Anchor tastes funny and not in a good way.
Kerrygold it is, then.
Ian I agree, a good burger is just a good bit of meat in a bun that you can fit - and do not have to build before it is not Lego - into your mouth.
The best one I have had is right off the bbq into a bun with a bit of pepper and tomato sauce. Maybe some onion and salad.
I have given up getting a burger in a Gastro pub, big round ball filled with random bits of grass, three chips and some random sauce that is either drawn onto the plate or in a very small pot that you can fit the chips into, that you have got all IKEA on.
And another thing, Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles! You appear to have stopped selling your own-brand not-butter. I do not wish to spend double the amount on poncey Lurpak, I am boycotting Country Life because J Rotten, and Anchor tastes funny and not in a good way.
Kerrygold it is, then.
The Dutchy Organic one is nice
Yeah, whatever happened to round white plates?
Why do I keep getting food on a chopping board, in a mini metal bucket, on a fecking slate....
I found we want plates earlier! This ought to appeal to ian...
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CDTxlQ2W0AEZTh3.jpg)
:o
And another thing, Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles! You appear to have stopped selling your own-brand not-butter. I do not wish to spend double the amount on poncey Lurpak, I am boycotting Country Life because J Rotten, and Anchor tastes funny and not in a good way.
Kerrygold it is, then.
The Dutchy Organic one is nice
I found we want plates earlier! This ought to appeal to ian...
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CDTxlQ2W0AEZTh3.jpg)
:o
Top rant from Ian, catching the mood of the middle aged male diner perfectly.
Ian, have you tried coffee lately? Perhaps some reviews of (ideally 'artisan') coffee shops is needed. Or artisan bakers.
Seems to me the decline of the working class artisan has heralded the arrival of the mockney ex public school artisan food retailer, with all that 'passion' enabling pop up pricing for the iPad wearers.
I am thinking of a chain of artisan porridge pop up stores, operating from reclaimed Mr Whippy vans, sited by London tube stations in the morning. each van with its own mill, grinding and pressing single varietal oats from named rustic farms, in hessian sacks. Served in brown cardboard boxes like the olden days, eaten with a wooden spoon. Could be a winner.
And another thing, Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles! You appear to have stopped selling your own-brand not-butter. I do not wish to spend double the amount on poncey Lurpak, I am boycotting Country Life because J Rotten, and Anchor tastes funny and not in a good way.
Kerrygold it is, then.
The Dutchy Organic one is nice
Yeo Valley butter is lovely, and a proper yellow colour, not like that white forrin stuff.
I reckon Ian is really A. A. Gill.
Cheese and chive, tomato and chilli, bacon, you name it, I swear about a dozen kinds of cheerfully confected potato. I was in stodge heaven.No kimchi though?
Unctuous is a great word, marvellously onomatopoeic, it rolls over your tongue like a wave of glistening fat. Trust me, it's the perfect word for my father's attempts at gravy (it is all he cooks, apparently gravy is also a man thing; woman may concoct a gentle jus, but it takes a real man to conduct the alchemy of grease, burnt bits and excessive quantities of bisto into a glistening, potentially seabird-killing pool of molten gravy). I should also make clear that it was served in industrial quantities. It's a terrible thing to see your own roast potatoes drown.
The problem with unctuous is that restaurants have started to use it like it's a good thing. Broths have become unctuous, sauces have become unctuous. The people crave unctuousness. This one doesn't. It's just poshese for greasy. It seems to be essential to refer to raman broths are unctuous milky white, porcine. Lardy, in other words. It probably works better in Chinese (nǎitāng) which according to Google is literally translated as 'breast soup'. Go on, eat it, it's good for you. It's the kind of thing my Chinese colleagues thrust in front of me when I visit. A game, which roughly translated from Mandarin means 'western devil food torture'.
Kimchi mash? Alas no, there was cabbage and bacon. Actually, this was the US, so probably every variety included bacon, it is, after all, the universal American seasoning. It was quite bizarre though, there we were on a balmy Florida evening, mojito in hand, facing a table mashed potatoes, a veritable meaty thighed chorus line of stodge.
Gravy.
Satsumas which look nice from the outside but once you've peeled and pithed them, are all withery and leathery and watery and shrivelled. They can fuck right off too.
Satsumas which look nice from the outside but once you've peeled and pithed them, are all withery and leathery and watery and shrivelled. They can fuck right off too.
Plums where the stone hasn't formed properly. They can fuck right off.
Plums where the stone hasn't formed properly. They can fuck right off.
Any Spanish plums -hard as rock. No thank you.
Only British plums please , only in season and mostly under crumble or pastry.
Having had a gutfull of stewed pears in my teenage years, (we had an effing big pear tree in the garden) they can GTF as well.
On the subject of fruit and veg things, any of it that doesn't have a flavour or texture - i.e. loads of supermarket stuff. Bred for looks, like a vacuous showdog.This. Some of the worst are those huge, glossy red apples - I think they're called discovery - which look so gorgeous but have the taste and feel of cotton wool.
On the subject of fruit and veg things, any of it that doesn't have a flavour or texture - i.e. loads of supermarket stuff. Bred for looks, like a vacuous showdog.This. Some of the worst are those huge, glossy red apples - I think they're called discovery - which look so gorgeous but have the taste and feel of cotton wool.
I'm angry with my brain. I find food delicious through taste and/or simply volume. With condiments most things can be salvaged. On holiday I accidentally ordered one of those freaky pizzas that are just parma ham, rocket and few bits of ripped up burata, I'd always laughed at people who ordered that, I mean who wants a pizza with a salad on it. I really liked it.
...good burghers of Charlotteburg, and the they had both a snake and a tortoise made out of meat tartare...
And in other matters. I was in the Congo the other year (the not-so-democratic one). Um Bongo? They don't fucking drink it in the Congo after all. What next? Kia Ora not too orangey for crows?
That stuff. The curious cellophane-like material that food manufacturers deem suitable for packaging stuff like dried pasta, nuts, and other eminently scatterable comestibles. It's not suitable. It's deeply and profoundly not suitable. It's as suitable as using chocolate for aeroplane wings or a spacesuit made of batter. Now there's pecan halves all over my kitchen floor. That fucking material, no matter how gently you try to tear open of the packet, the moment your mind skitters off to ponder the existential mysteries of life and nutty, nutty snacky goodness, the entire thing tears open scattering the contents to the four distant corners of the kitchen. Yes, I could use scissors, but they're in the drawer on the other side of the kitchen and I want nutty, nutty, snacky goodness now. I'm not patient, I'm a man. How did they fit so many nuts in the packet? I swear they're everywhere. It's like someone exploded a pecan factory. There must be a tonne. There's probably an entire army of squirrels outside, like it's some bizarre rodent finale to Lord of the Rings. Food packing fuckers, wasn't tetrapack enough? Was not enough milk sacrificed by our clumsy fingers, enough juice spattered up walls and across ceilings? Weren't frangible corned beef can keys enough to try our sanity beyond the point it bends and breaks? Oh no, you had to invent this stuff. And for the record, those sticky little tabs you claim are for securing the packets. No, they don't work either, and you know it. It's no-glue, that what it is. It feels sticky. It fools you into thinking it might be sticky. But the moment the cupboard closes, it's done. You reach in the following day and take out your sealed packet, and a pasta avalanche buries your feet. I hate those food packaging evil-doers.
And in other matters. I was in the Congo the other year (the not-so-democratic one). Um Bongo? They don't fucking drink it in the Congo after all. What next? Kia Ora not too orangey for crows?
That stuff. The curious cellophane-like material that food manufacturers deem suitable for packaging stuff like dried pasta, nuts, and other eminently scatterable comestibles. It's not suitable. It's deeply and profoundly not suitable. It's as suitable as using chocolate for aeroplane wings or a spacesuit made of batter. Now there's pecan halves all over my kitchen floor. That fucking material, no matter how gently you try to tear open of the packet, the moment your mind skitters off to ponder the existential mysteries of life and nutty, nutty snacky goodness, the entire thing tears open scattering the contents to the four distant corners of the kitchen. Yes, I could use scissors, but they're in the drawer on the other side of the kitchen and I want nutty, nutty, snacky goodness now. I'm not patient, I'm a man. How did they fit so many nuts in the packet? I swear they're everywhere. It's like someone exploded a pecan factory. There must be a tonne. There's probably an entire army of squirrels outside, like it's some bizarre rodent finale to Lord of the Rings. Food packing fuckers, wasn't tetrapack enough? Was not enough milk sacrificed by our clumsy fingers, enough juice spattered up walls and across ceilings? Weren't frangible corned beef can keys enough to try our sanity beyond the point it bends and breaks? Oh no, you had to invent this stuff. And for the record, those sticky little tabs you claim are for securing the packets. No, they don't work either, and you know it. It's no-glue, that what it is. It feels sticky. It fools you into thinking it might be sticky. But the moment the cupboard closes, it's done. You reach in the following day and take out your sealed packet, and a pasta avalanche buries your feet. I hate those food packaging evil-doers.
And in other matters. I was in the Congo the other year (the not-so-democratic one). Um Bongo? They don't fucking drink it in the Congo after all. What next? Kia Ora not too orangey for crows?
They put couscous in that fucking stuff. Couscous. Bastards.
Yep, couscous. I too have a bag of bulgur wheat that mocks me every time I open the cupboard. It knows and it waits. Ever patient. I thought I got around the issue with couscous by buying barley couscous in a cardboard packet, but no, inside is a bag and you know what the bag is made of: that stuff. Somewhere, from their sub-volcanic lair, the packaging scientists mock us with their challenges.
Worse still, my wife mocks me when it happens. Why didn't you use scissors, she'll ask. Because. Because. Because. I think she's an agent.
Scissors? They make no difference. The bloody bag will find some way of splitting so that the tiny grains can flow out an some unexpected angle, miss the container for which you are aiming and find their way over the work surfaces, floor and into all sorts of nooks and crannies. I love a bit of couscous personally but just wish they would put it in a box or an easily opened paper bag.
They put couscous in Um Bongo? :o
They put couscous in Um Bongo? :o
I blame Heston.
... the fact that most apples are now secretly brown in the middle ....You're getting apples from the wrong shops. I've not had one that was brown in the middle for a couple of years, at least, & that was a one-off.
What do the BRITONS have against decent bread, especially in pubs? So many meals, some very nice, have been let down by a poor excuse for bread. It has come to the point I generally avoid meals which include bread, but I slipped in today's visit to my local for some grub. The cheeseburger was as good as I anticipated (this same pub tries to pass of pita as naan, and in East London!) but the bun was horrid. And they appear to have run out of plates and served my meal on a cutting board.Dunno, but it's bloody annoying.
Hmm, I had a horrible moment today when I bit into a strawberry. Now we all know that most strawberries taste of disappointment, like they've been hydroponically grown on tears. These tasted unaccountably nice. There's going to be some kind of fruity payback.
What do the BRITONS have against decent bread, especially in pubs? So many meals, some very nice, have been let down by a poor excuse for bread. It has come to the point I generally avoid meals which include bread, but I slipped in today's visit to my local for some grub. The cheeseburger was as good as I anticipated (this same pub tries to pass of pita as naan, and in East London!) but the bun was horrid. And they appear to have run out of plates and served my meal on a cutting board.Dunno, but it's bloody annoying.
There's been a sausage stand in Broad Street, in Reading, for years. I once bought a sausage in bread from it. The sausage wasn't bad, but the bread was ghastly. It wasn't that it tasted bad. For that, it would have to have had some kind of flavour. The really, really bad thing about it was the texture. The almost non-existent, but not quite, sensation as I bit into it was - unpleasant. Not strongly, but enough. The bread was a buffer between the perfectly acceptable sausage & my mouth, muffling the sensation of biting into it, & coating my taste buds so I couldn't enjoy the sausage properly.
Hmm, I had a horrible moment today when I bit into a strawberry. Now we all know that most strawberries taste of disappointment, like they've been hydroponically grown on tears. These tasted unaccountably nice. There's going to be some kind of fruity payback.
Quite often the 'budget' or 'Basics' strawberries have Flavour, rather than Appearance. The 'Taste the Difference' range disappoints more frequently.
In the future Americans will win wars by bowling those bloated pork-stuffed schoolchildren through the massed ranks of the terrorists, sending them spinning into oblivion, thus combining their wholesome US love of food, bowling, and war into one healthy activity for all the family. It's called Project Pork Bun. Bless you CIA, bless you.:D ;D :D
And mustard.
A smear of Colemans adds the finishing touch.
And mustard.
A smear of Colemans adds the finishing touch.
Heretic! Brown sauce FTW!
Also, I actually like my bacon limp and flaccid but then I'm weird like that. I don't like toast that shatters when you bite either.
And the French have lardons ::-)Yes but they do have confit du canard so they are forgiven.
And don't get me going on beef bacon. I'm in Dubai and as such I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel of shitty places, don't make it worse. At least signpost the infidel counter.
I've no idea why Chrome doesn't just use the built-in Mac OED dictionary.
I've no idea why Chrome doesn't just use the built-in Mac OED dictionary.
because Chrome is cross platform not just Mac. Not all platforms even have an inbuilt dictionary. Much easier to write one lot of code to use a dictionary plugin rather than a separate code for every platform.
I was in the Congo the other year (the not-so-democratic one). Um Bongo? They don't fucking drink it in the Congo after all. What next? Kia Ora not too orangey for crows?
Asparagus, you can fuck off too. Makes my wee smell like Beelzebub's used bath water.
Asparagus, you can fuck off too. Makes my wee smell like Beelzebub's used bath water.
Mr Smith wont eat sparragrass for this reason.
I knew there was a gene to make your pee stink but not one for flavour. Thought that was the Brussel sprouts gene.
BUUUUUT they contain vitamins an stuff...
My asparagus rant is simply that everyone banging on about how amazing it is annoys me as I just find the stuff insipid and bland. I must not have the gene that makes it taste brilliant.
I quite like sprouts, I'm big fan of the brassicas in general. This is mostly because their biochemical pathways fill me with a childlike glee.
Had a perfectly servicable burger and chips served in a basket, which is better than a board but less so than a plate. The rant is simply because there was no room for sauce anywhere on the bloody basket. I had to get them to bring me one of those little pots they serve sauce in.
I am still very full as well.
Interestingly (or not) 504steve's and my "Gourmet Burgers" were served on plates last night on Oscar's Dad's latest Manchester visit ride out but TEC's "Hereford Burger" came on a plank of wood.
When I rule the (food) word...
I made the VERY bad mistake of ordering a salad nicoise in Australia Zoo (the one where they haven't really found out that Steve Irwin has Passed On. Well, they have found out but are working around - recommended visit anyhow)
Absent:
Anchovies
Tomato
Tuna
Green Beans
Present:
Eggs
potato
Salad leaves
Cucumber
Dressing
Cretins. That's like croutons only vastly larger and with any flavour processed into sawdust.
Work that one out.
Lovely recipe, it's become of my families favourites but I made a few changes. I am vegetarian so swapped the lamb for mushrooms. I don't like lentils so replaced them with onions. I'm allergic to tomato so decided to use cream instead. Not keen on spicy food so omitted the chillies. Baking in the oven takes too long so I do it all in a pan on the hob.
And people who pronounce chorizo with a lisp. Are you Spanish? No. Then fuck off until you can pronounce it English-style.
I have the recipe book with that recipe in it, and she says she developed it specifically to avoid the aeons of stirring risotto requires. And I've made it, and it's lovely.Lovely recipe, it's become of my families favourites but I made a few changes. I am vegetarian so swapped the lamb for mushrooms. I don't like lentils so replaced them with onions. I'm allergic to tomato so decided to use cream instead. Not keen on spicy food so omitted the chillies. Baking in the oven takes too long so I do it all in a pan on the hob.
I hope that post was an ironic response to others who had substituted various ingredients etc.
But it reminded me of a Delia Smith "Rissotto" - you know, the dish where you stir the rise to make the gloopy sauce.
She baked it in the oven.
When I rule the (food) word, there will be a law against serving food on slates, planks, shoes, kitchen scales, in fact anything that is not-a-plate.
Also any chef who even contemplates putting a sprig of parsley on ANY food before sending it out to the customer will be shot. Until DEAD. Either chop the fucker up and sprinkle it or don't fucking bother.
Serving pies that are not pies will be dealt with by re-education. By bears. With shuvels.
And finally, any chef who FUCKS with the classic recipes (I am looking at you, chef at The Carpenters Arms in Felixkirk), like, lets say putting WARM potatoes in a Salad Nicoise AND not putting any fucking anchovies in, will be whipped in front of their customers them sent to work down the salt mines. Fuckers. If you advertise something as X, I want X, not a "reimagining of X" or an "interpretation of X", which nearly always turns out as SHIT, not X.
Right, I'm going for a lie down in a darkened room now.
When I rule the (food) word, there will be a law against serving food on slates, planks, shoes, kitchen scales, in fact anything that is not-a-plate.
Also any chef who even contemplates putting a sprig of parsley on ANY food before sending it out to the customer will be shot. Until DEAD. Either chop the fucker up and sprinkle it or don't fucking bother.
Serving pies that are not pies will be dealt with by re-education. By bears. With shuvels.
And finally, any chef who FUCKS with the classic recipes (I am looking at you, chef at The Carpenters Arms in Felixkirk), like, lets say putting WARM potatoes in a Salad Nicoise AND not putting any fucking anchovies in, will be whipped in front of their customers them sent to work down the salt mines. Fuckers. If you advertise something as X, I want X, not a "reimagining of X" or an "interpretation of X", which nearly always turns out as SHIT, not X.
Right, I'm going for a lie down in a darkened room now.
And what if, ten minutes into your meal, one of the staff comes over and asks if everything's ok? ;)
And what if, ten minutes into your meal, one of the staff comes over and asks if everything's ok? ;)
And what if, ten minutes into your meal, one of the staff comes over and asks if everything's ok? ;)
Fork.ThroatEYES. Pudding.
When I rule the (food) word, there will be a law against serving food on slates, planks, shoes, kitchen scales, in fact anything that is not-a-plate.
Also any chef who even contemplates putting a sprig of parsley on ANY food before sending it out to the customer will be shot. Until DEAD. Either chop the fucker up and sprinkle it or don't fucking bother.
Serving pies that are not pies will be dealt with by re-education. By bears. With shuvels.
And finally, any chef who FUCKS with the classic recipes (I am looking at you, chef at The Carpenters Arms in Felixkirk), like, lets say putting WARM potatoes in a Salad Nicoise AND not putting any fucking anchovies in, will be whipped in front of their customers them sent to work down the salt mines. Fuckers. If you advertise something as X, I want X, not a "reimagining of X" or an "interpretation of X", which nearly always turns out as SHIT, not X.
Right, I'm going for a lie down in a darkened room now.
And what if, ten minutes into your meal, one of the staff comes over and asks if everything's ok? ;)
Intrusive and predatory (vultures hovering over your table to swoop on your plate if you put your fork down for half a minute) waiting staff are the reason I often prefer a takeaway delivered to my home to eating out.
I am looking at you, chef at The Carpenters Arms in Felixkirk
This is always a problem for me, as I like to eat slowly and enjoy my food. This means that my cutlery is quite often down on the plate.
It's even worse in restaurants where you have booked a table at a reasonably early hour of the evening. The gits will almost harass us as they think they will be able to get another cover in after us.
This is always a problem for me, as I like to eat slowly and enjoy my food. This means that my cutlery is quite often down on the plate.
It's even worse in restaurants where you have booked a table at a reasonably early hour of the evening. The gits will almost harass us as they think they will be able to get another cover in after us.
... and most people seem to have forgotten the signal given by their placement; I'm sure you don't place your knife and fork neatly side by side, which would be the conventional sign that you have now finished, and the situation is misread through ignorance. Maybe the serving staff are from foreign parts, where the same cutlery etiquette does not apply...
Indeed, I was under the impression corn flakes were invented as a cure for masturbation. Can't say I find my "community trade marked shape" wheat biscuits and muesli that erotic either, but maybe I should add it to the try anything once list?
This is always a problem for me, as I like to eat slowly and enjoy my food. This means that my cutlery is quite often down on the plate.
It's even worse in restaurants where you have booked a table at a reasonably early hour of the evening. The gits will almost harass us as they think they will be able to get another cover in after us.
... and most people seem to have forgotten the signal given by their placement; I'm sure you don't place your knife and fork neatly side by side, which would be the conventional sign that you have now finished, and the situation is misread through ignorance. Maybe the serving staff are from foreign parts, where the same cutlery etiquette does not apply...
Exactly. If I haven't finished, my knife and fork will be at 20 past 8. When I've finished, my signal is to place them at half past 6, 25 past 5 or 25 to 7.
This signal seems to have dropped out of the understanding of most minimum wage kids.
Exactly. If I haven't finished, my knife and fork will be at 20 past 8. When I've finished, my signal is to place them at half past 6, 25 past 5 or 25 to 7.
This signal seems to have dropped out of the understanding of most minimum wage kids.
That's because they've all got digital watches.
This might well be true at the Chinese restaurant but the impatience of the vultures is inexcusable anyway.
15 seconds is not enough!
Mild chili and curry powder.
Why?
Mild chili and curry powder.
Why?
For those unfortunate enough to suffer from Geographical Tongue*, but enjoy the taste of curry and/or Chili?
*Yes it is a thing, a very painful thing, look it up :)
Mild chili and curry powder.
Why?
For those unfortunate enough to suffer from Geographical Tongue*, but enjoy the taste of curry and/or Chili?
*Yes it is a thing, a very painful thing, look it up :)
I think the point is instead of mild powder why not just add less of normal strength ?
The Gourmet Burger Kitchen’s trademark burger since 2001 – the Kiwi burger – is made up of beef, beetroot, egg, pineapple, cheese, salad, relish and mayo.
Mild chili and curry powder.
Why?
For those unfortunate enough to suffer from Geographical Tongue*, but enjoy the taste of curry and/or Chili?
*Yes it is a thing, a very painful thing, look it up :)
I think the point is instead of mild powder why not just add less of normal strength ?
A good curry is a subtle mix of spices, of which heat is only one component.
Those who like some aromas may be more sensitive to hot chilli but still savour multiple other flavours.
I do not measure my manhood in Scoville units.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoville_scale) note totally inconsistent spelling of 'chilli' (chile chille)
http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2015/may/24/premium-burger-joints-rise-britain-datablogQuoteThe Gourmet Burger Kitchen’s trademark burger since 2001 – the Kiwi burger – is made up of beef, beetroot, egg, pineapple, cheese, salad, relish and mayo.
(http://i.guim.co.uk/static/w-1065/h--/q-95/sys-images/Guardian/Pix/pictures/2015/5/21/1432211792897/f3f8b339-ac2a-4aa1-9120-a78aba217c0b-2060x1236.jpeg)
"Would you like me to take a photo of you and your food and share it on our Instagram, Facebook or Twitter?"
er... I'm going to go with 'fuck no'.
"Would you like me to take a photo of you and your food and share it on our Instagram, Facebook or Twitter?"Name and shame. Where ?
er... I'm going to go with 'fuck no'.
"Would you like me to take a photo of you and your food and share it on our Instagram, Facebook or Twitter?"
"Would you like me to take a photo of you and your food and share it on our Instagram, Facebook or Twitter?"
WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK ???
It's my dinner, not performance fucking art :o
Yeahbut if FOH staff adopted computer science principles, then each table's cutlery allocation would consist of nfsporks.
"Would you like me to take a photo of you and your food and share it on our Instagram, Facebook or Twitter?""Of course. Here are my advertising rates. Oh, you want me to move the cutlery? Here are my design rates."
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
When I was a young Mr Larrington a pint of BEER was 35p :-\
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
When I was a young Mr Larrington a pint of BEER was 35p :-\
In that case you still are a young Mr. Larrington. When I was young a pint of Younger's was 1/9d.
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Sounds just right.
And mustard.
A smear of Colemans adds the finishing touch.
Heretic! Brown sauce FTW!
Also, I actually like my bacon limp and flaccid but then I'm weird like that. I don't like toast that shatters when you bite either.
Floppy bacon, agreed! I like a little colour on the fat but otherwise floppy!
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Youngster! I remember when they were 2½p.
The house my parents bought for £12K in 1968, when I was ten sold for £1.2M in 2012, so that's a factor of 100.
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
I used to spend my 10p pocket money on The Beano (8p) and a packet of crisps (2p). I think The Beano costs £2 now. More importantly, my favourite flavour is no longer salt and vinegar.
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Youngster! I remember when they were 2½p.
The house my parents bought for £12K in 1968, when I was ten sold for £1.2M in 2012, so that's a factor of 100.
Must have been a big house! My parent's house, the one I grew up in, cost £9750 in 1977, and sold for £250k in 2002, then for £450k in 2007 (to be fair, between 2002 and 2007 the then owners did a LOT of work on it and the land attached)
I just paid 63p for a pack of polos. I remember when they were 10p.
Trying to think what else in my life time has gone up 6 times.
Youngster! I remember when they were 2½p.
The house my parents bought for £12K in 1968, when I was ten sold for £1.2M in 2012, so that's a factor of 100.
Back on the subject of crap serving:It's rusty...? :-(
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/9/8858/18624260676_fb60912e9a_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/unLcQG)
IMG_5082 (https://flic.kr/p/unLcQG) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Why the feck wasn't I force fed mature cheddar and ham toasties or cheese on toast as a younger?Seriously?
Why has it taken until a month and a half before my 53rd buffday to realize I love the stuff?
Fuzzy- you may well be Super Twat >:(
Why the feck wasn't I force fed mature cheddar and ham toasties or cheese on toast as a younger?Seriously?
Why has it taken until a month and a half before my 53rd buffday to realize I love the stuff?
Fuzzy- you may well be Super Twat >:(
Hmm, now you need to try welsh rarebit (cheese sauce made with beer AND MUSTARD, very thick, spread on bread then toasted)
Why the feck wasn't I force fed mature cheddar and ham toasties or cheese on toast as a younger?Seriously?
Why has it taken until a month and a half before my 53rd buffday to realize I love the stuff?
Fuzzy- you may well be Super Twat >:(
Hmm, now you need to try welsh rarebit (cheese sauce made with beer, very thick, spread on bread then toasted)
Why the feck wasn't I force fed mature cheddar and ham toasties or cheese on toast as a younger?Seriously?
Why has it taken until a month and a half before my 53rd buffday to realize I love the stuff?
Fuzzy- you may well be Super Twat >:(
Hmm, now you need to try welsh rarebit (cheese sauce made with beer, very thick, spread on bread then toasted)
Yes, seriously.
[...]
As a sprog I hated the taste of cheese. The taste and texture made me heave. I therefore avoided it like the plague.
I later married a fellow cheese hater.
Real cheese should be yellow and cheddary...Real cheese should be so ripe it tries to escape.
Goats cheese? It should literally taste like you are licking a goat, albeit a creamy, delicious goat.:sick:
Real cheese should be yellow and cheddary...Real cheese should be so ripe it tries to escape.
Goats cheese? It should literally taste like you are licking a goat, albeit a creamy, delicious goat.
Pavlov's goat?
Anyway, we still want plates:
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/375/18345975683_f17f128fb3_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/tXaVpz)
IMG_5128 (https://flic.kr/p/tXaVpz) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Anyway, we still want plates:
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/1/375/18345975683_f17f128fb3_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/tXaVpz)
IMG_5128 (https://flic.kr/p/tXaVpz) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Does crime brûlée go with roasted arm with a light wristwatch dressing?Crime brûlée is what GruB eats!
(http://www.alfiecat.co.uk/yetacf/slate_plate.jpg)
(http://www.alfiecat.co.uk/yetacf/slate_plate.jpg)
WTF is that?
Also, is that bread served up in a climbers chalk bag?
(http://www.alfiecat.co.uk/yetacf/slate_plate.jpg)
On a similar theme. Seeded loaves what is the point in those ? The seeds never actually make it to your mouth. They will however distribute themselves all over the car on the way back from the supermarket and then all over the kitchen once you get home.
Yeahbut if FOH staff adopted computer science principles, then each table's cutlery allocation would consist of nfsporks.
What next, a spritz of asparagus spittle?
Spent the week travelling round the highlands on Holiday. I was introduced to quality home made marmalade. I've come to the conclusion Robertsons Golden Shred is p!ss, and doesn't deserve to be called marmalade, and am now looking at either making my own, or sourcing a true marmalade in London.
Surely some daring chef du jour, an agent provocateur de cuisine is willing to serve soup on a slate. A thick soup, spread liberally, would cling like wallpaper paste, and enable the discerning gastropub diner to scrape away with a slice of their artisanal sourdough. A combination of colours could be use to create a swirl of graffiti across your soup, perhaps a green artichoke and rustic ham, with a 'tag' dashed through it with a spicy red pepper tapenade.
In other matters, chefs with foam. Foam belongs in my bath, not on my fucking dinner plate. Fuck off. What next, a spritz of asparagus spittle?
Surely some daring chef du jour, an agent provocateur de cuisine is willing to serve soup on a slate. A thick soup, spread liberally, would cling like wallpaper paste, and enable the discerning gastropub diner to scrape away with a slice of their artisanal sourdough. A combination of colours could be use to create a swirl of graffiti across your soup, perhaps a green artichoke and rustic ham, with a 'tag' dashed through it with a spicy red pepper tapenade.
Yeahbut if FOH staff adopted computer science principles, then each table's cutlery allocation would consist of nfsporks.
Or, more likely, you'd get the knife and fork delivered with the soup you ordered for starters. The waiter would tell you it was a beta version and you should try to learn to live with it for now while they improve it. Then once the soup bowl was taken away the spoon would arrive with great fanfare, alongside your steak. The steak knife would show up slightly after you'd eaten your dessert, along with the bill. Then nobody would understand how the leading cause of injury among waiting staff was the insertion of steak knives into all sorts of places that weren't designed to take them.
Yeahbut if FOH staff adopted computer science principles, then each table's cutlery allocation would consist of nfsporks.
Or, more likely, you'd get the knife and fork delivered with the soup you ordered for starters. The waiter would tell you it was a beta version and you should try to learn to live with it for now while they improve it. Then once the soup bowl was taken away the spoon would arrive with great fanfare, alongside your steak. The steak knife would show up slightly after you'd eaten your dessert, along with the bill. Then nobody would understand how the leading cause of injury among waiting staff was the insertion of steak knives into all sorts of places that weren't designed to take them.
Nahh, that's software engineering principles. :)
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/79796424/2015-06-20%2014.42.59.jpg)
You are so last year. In last week's Kitchen Cabinet some fucker suggested pouring cooked polenta on the table (but only if the table top is wood; otherwise use a plastic table cloth), then pouring ragu in the middle of the pool. You and your chums then get stuck in. Such fun!An old friend of mine, in both senses, once reminisced about his time int the 8th Army in Italy (the D-Day Dodgers). He was billeted with an Italian family who were only to grateful to see him and to be rid of the Facists. He was served polenta on the kitchen table. It was just how they did it. Pretentious in a modern restaurant to be sure, but it has a 'real' history.
Men. Seriously. Why is that the only food that groups of men can eat in restaurants is steak? It's like a carnival of competitive carnivory. I'll have the steak, one will declare. I'll have a bigger steak, says the next. Make mine raw! says another. Bring me the cow and don't even cook it! Jesus, it's like they're serving a testosterone broth (undoubtedly unctuous), they're deadset on the putting the man back in the cave. Me eat meat. Chaps, the science is in: courgettes won't make you gay. Quinoa, possibly.
Yorkshire chorizo.
Yeahbut, the thing with steak - assuming that you're inclined towards eating dead cows in the first place- is that it's fairly predictable. Even the most wanky plate-eschewing gastropub types are unlikely to do anything more occuous than cook it badly. I mean, have you ever ordered a steak'n'chips and had it arrive tasting like someone's spilt a pint on it? Never mind the poultry, the fish are positively jealous.
Much the same can be argued for vegetable vindaloo, though it's a dish that seems to exist in order to cater for macho posing and lifelong smokers with one remaining tastbud.
Yorkshire chorizo.
What the heck?
Men. Seriously. Why is that the only food that groups of men can eat in restaurants is steak? It's like a carnival of competitive carnivory. I'll have the steak, one will declare. I'll have a bigger steak, says the next. Make mine raw! says another. Bring me the cow and don't even cook it! Jesus, it's like they're serving a testosterone broth (undoubtedly unctuous), they're deadset on the putting the man back in the cave. Me eat meat. Chaps, the science is in: courgettes won't make you gay. Quinoa, possibly.
Cafe owner: Hi guys. Can I make you a cocktail?
Miguel: Whisky.
Carlos: And steaks.
Cafe owner: Okay. Two steaks, wow!
Cafe owner: Two steaks coming right up.
Miguel: Wait. Make that four.
Carlos: Each.
Miguel: Six.
Carlos: Eight.
Miguel: Ten!
Cafe owner: Aw c'mon guys, ten steaks each? Are you joking?
Miguel: Do we look like comedians?
Vegetable vindaloo seems like an odd mix. Kind of like serving a super-jumbo greaseburger with the oversized portion of fries, an extra-large side of onion rings, all doused in extra helpings of lard, and then pairing it with a bucket of diet Coke. Or the person who weighs more than their car stuffing their face with chips while sipping on a delicately sized bottle of mineral water as if that makes their lifestyle healthy.
Yorkshire chorizo.
What the heck?
Vegetable vindaloo seems like an odd mix. Kind of like serving a super-jumbo greaseburger with the oversized portion of fries, an extra-large side of onion rings, all doused in extra helpings of lard, and then pairing it with a bucket of diet Coke. Or the person who weighs more than their car stuffing their face with chips while sipping on a delicately sized bottle of mineral water as if that makes their lifestyle healthy.Which is why one orders a family naan and one's weight in lager to accompany an unfathomably hot vegetable curry.
Vegetable vindaloo seems like an odd mix. Kind of like serving a super-jumbo greaseburger with the oversized portion of fries, an extra-large side of onion rings, all doused in extra helpings of lard, and then pairing it with a bucket of diet Coke. Or the person who weighs more than their car stuffing their face with chips while sipping on a delicately sized bottle of mineral water as if that makes their lifestyle healthy.
Only if you follow the vegetarian != hard trope. In reality, vegetable curry dishes are effectively hotter than their meat equivalents, as the vegetables absorb more of the sauce.
Vegetable vindaloo seems like an odd mix. Kind of like serving a super-jumbo greaseburger with the oversized portion of fries, an extra-large side of onion rings, all doused in extra helpings of lard, and then pairing it with a bucket of diet Coke. Or the person who weighs more than their car stuffing their face with chips while sipping on a delicately sized bottle of mineral water as if that makes their lifestyle healthy.
Only if you follow the vegetarian != hard trope. In reality, vegetable curry dishes are effectively hotter than their meat equivalents, as the vegetables absorb more of the sauce.
RRRRRRAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
RRRRRRAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
What, again?
Papaya. It sounds exciting. It's not.How about pawpaw?
Papaya. It sounds exciting. It's not.
I've rarely been whelmed by a tropical fruit, other than a mango. I used to think that they only temperamentally ripened in our grim climate but after years travelling the world, I'm less convinced. Though possibly they're keeping the good stuff back for Mr Del Monte.Temperamentally ripe? Not sure what this means. They're generally unripe here I'd say.
...they'd loaded it with two enormous oblongs of nshima, ...
I've rarely been whelmed by a tropical fruit, other than a mango.
...they'd loaded it with two enormous oblongs of nshima, ...
Is nshima like ugali? If so, unlucky you! Like polenta but without so much as the appealing colour.I've rarely been whelmed by a tropical fruit, other than a mango.
Never eaten mangosteen?
Bugger. Beat me by a penny.
1/10d
On God. Here we go. In 1973? (so not early in my pub history, as I would have been in my early 20s) my mate and I borrowed ten bob off the girl in the flat upstairs.
With that, we caught the bus into town, went to the Greyhound, a cider pub on Holloway Head, got slaughtered on rough cider and caught the night bus back.
Mangosteen is totally where it's at. That is all.
Anyway, the tropical fruit we had in Ecuador was quite nom :P
Anyway, the tropical fruit we had in Ecuador was quite nom :P
Guanabana being the only one I remember the name of.
When I started college we could get a pint of Boddington's for 9p in the catholic club.
MBMLMTTMMM, i.e. mayonnaise, bacon, mayonnaise, lettuce, mayonnaise, tomato, tomato, mayonnaise, mayonnaise and mayonnaise. Seriously, think of the Monty Python spam sketch and swap spam for mayonnaise and you've got the idea. I hate mayonnaise, and hate tomato even more. Not only that the whole thing was stone cold.*drool*
Americans get awfully confused when you order actual bacon, given that bacon is the Universal American Seasoning and as such they were probably going to add it anyway. That's bacon with bacon. There's a danger of an exponential bacon* situation. It's not a sandwich, but potentially a swirling vortex of porcine destruction. I didn't, to be honest, think that an American food place could put too little bacon on something. Not even Arby's We Have The Meats™ (seriously, they trademarked that).
Americans also think the antidote to bacon is mayonnaise. Or rather, processed egg food product, because it's just goo that oozes everywhere and causes your sandwich to slide apart so you end up with a Fistful of Meat. To confuse my Clint references, do you feel lucky? Well, evidently if you're going to Arby's.
Note that the world can go backwards on I-81, there's a section where you can both be going north on 81 and south on I-77 at the same time. Possible that can turn beef into bacon. Which is like the reverse of Creeping Sharia.
MBMLMTTMMM, i.e. mayonnaise, bacon, mayonnaise, lettuce, mayonnaise, tomato, tomato, mayonnaise, mayonnaise and mayonnaise. Seriously, think of the Monty Python spam sketch and swap spam for mayonnaise and you've got the idea. I hate mayonnaise, and hate tomato even more. Not only that the whole thing was stone cold.*drool*
I do sort of like American sandwiches. That entire dislocate your jaw like you're a human anaconda to try and fit it in, and then you give up, and start to anatomize it, pulling out its innards and building an entire different meal. Americans just look at you. You can't fit that in your mouth? There's a joke in there, one you shouldn't make if you're sitting opposite your girlfriend's parents for the first time. Apparently.
You have reminded me that getting them to hold the mayonnaise is near impossible. The have someone in the back with the gloop cannon. Because they don't put butter on sandwiches, they feel an obligation to hose it down with processed egg food product and then complement it with slices of processed cheese food product. The result congeals into some novel kind of matter. I like the cheese food, but not the processed egg food. The worse thing about the faux-mayo is that it's sweet and I swear it gets sweeter the further south you go. Eventually, somewhere on the Georgia border they find they can't make mayo any sweeter, so they just start slapping bbq sauce on everything. That's just melted sugar and some chemical byproduct of the linoleum manufacturing process. By the time you get to Alabama they've started to fry the entire concoction and sprinkle it with sugar before they serve. They'll probably opt to roll it in maple syrup-style product to ensure the sugar sticks.
It's one of those American weirdnesses that you can order a salad and ask for it without lettuce, tomato, cucumber, and with the dressing on the side, and it'll come just like that. Ask for a sandwich without congealed sludge and they're calling Homeland Security.
Salad cream though, that's where it at. You want haute cuisine, the kind that kicks a garcon in the balls, then two slices of thin sliced bread, a pack a ready salted crisps, and a bottle of salad cream is all you need.Add some lurid cheese and I'm right there with you.
My bigest dissapointment in New York was Cheesecake.
Now I was "brought up" on books which described the cheesecakes of NY as the ultimate experience in that field.
I can assure you not so at all. They were tiny. I ask you tiny flat cheese cake in NY and it tasted rubbish. *sighs* What a let down.
OTOH it is true that if in doubt look for the cop eating, a sure sign of quality and so it proved. We took the subway to Brooklyn and got off at the terminus, which we did for every borough BTW, and there were very few places to eat but in a tiny little place there was the proverbial bobby stuffing his face.. and the pizza there was just awesome one of the greatest eating experiences or our lives. Seriously!
PH
Sandwich Spread is not merely vomit, it is bile. You can tell by the acidity.
I am salivating at these descriptions of sandwiches. The idea of endless bacon bits in a sea of cheesy mayo with some sort of basic food elements hidden in there really gets my juices flowing. I suspect I may be a closet american.+ many
Well, it ain't a salad unless it looks like someone has dropped the Exxon Valdez from orbit onto a small forest.(http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/b/b4/Homer_drool.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/640?cb=20100923210150)
Of bacon.
My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.
My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.
+1
My German friend always regards any bottle of mayo sitting on the table with deep suspicion. 'Egg products should be properly refrigerated' she'll solemnly declare while pushing it carefully to one side with an outstretched finger like it might turn really bad at any moment.
+1
Agreed, but Hellamans et al contain a bare minimum of egg product, the majority of the volume being water.
Well, it ain't a salad unless it looks like someone has dropped the Exxon Valdez from orbit onto a small forest.
Of bacon.
(click to show/hide)
I also like the filling quotient of American sandwiches. They slice up an entire animal. In the UK, we've manage a single slice one molecule thick. An average British ham sandwich would, to any American, be vegetarian. Our fillings are practically homeopathic.
I was once terrorised outside Richmond by a huge waitress who insisted I had to have sweet tea. She wouldn't let me have it unsweetened. Seriously. She stood over me and watched me drink it while my girlfriend sniggered. Till she fell under the gaze. You too, sweetcheeks. (I think she might have actually said 'sweetcheeks'.) Every time we took a sip she'd get us a new refill. We had to visit every rest stop on I-73, not just to relieve ourselves but to run around in mad circles trying to expend the sugar rush. If you've seen the episode of the Simpsons where Bart and Milhouse hit the neat slushie syrup, you'll know the sensation.
A proper NY baked cheesecake is hard to find, but worth it. There's a place in Boerum Hill that serves baked slices of heaven and they put a dollop of proper ice cream on top just in case you're running a calorie deficit. The cop thing is a good tip, they're good at detecting handsome calories. A friend of mine is in the LAPD and he took us for ride in his police cruiser and anyway, we pull up in South Central by a group of heavily tattooed Hispanic gang stereotypes who all start giving us the eye. We then have to push through this crowd being very British, wielding Mac-10s of sorry, to find a grubby looking van serving what the people of Hackney call 'street food'. I got a burrito about the same size as a body wrapped in a carpet. And bless my gut, if it wasn't the most awesomely filthy burrito ever. I was in spicy, meaty, cheesy heaven.
I do wonder how Pret do in the US – they're sprouting around New York. I confess I've never been in one on the grounds it seems a bit pointless as every other shop in London that isn't an Eat or similar is a Pret (I've been in the Nandos in DC though, just because). Do they do the homeopathically underfilled brit sandwiches or do they say fuck it, slice the whole damn pig and order another truck load of avocado. I've seen Americans peel apart a brit sandwich and the look of disappointment that slowly curdles on their face is priceless. 'This is it?' those forlorn faces say as they appraise a lonely sliver of ham, so thin it looks like it was cut on an ultramicrotome. I just nod knowingly. We have, as a race, suffered at the hands of our tyrannical and misery sandwich overlords. It's the entire class system. You can bet whatever the Earl of Sandwich first slammed between two slices of bread, it had the kind of substantial weight that would been admired even by a blimp-sized family of mid-westerners.
And ye god, wraps. Order a deli wrap in a NYC deli. That's a wrap. A thin bit of bread making a valiant effort to restrain a riot of ingredients. In the UK at least half the wrap is literally just folded bread with no filling at all. Just dry stodge that eventually mixes with enough saliva to coat your teeth like house render.
There's always a low grade cheesesteak war going on along the eastern seaboard (believe me, don't even engage a Philadelphian in this discussion, it'll go on for hours and pull in half the neighbourhood) a good part of which is size. Size is very important to Americans. I feel for American womanhood, who upon engaging in bedroom activities with the man of their choice, are forever cursed with the knowledge that they've held a sandwich far bigger than that earlier in the day. Even American men, when they look down, must think the same, that that's no sandwich.
Anyway, some cheesesteaks are now so big that they can be mistaken for a small nuclear submarine. Admittedly, one after a bizarre Cheez Whiz accident. And no, I'm not saying anything bad about Cheez Whiz because I love processed cheese food products. Plus I think the cold war would have been a lot more interesting if they'd swapped nuclear weapons for food products. Imagine it the Americans had coated Moscow in Cheez Whiz. The Russians could have retaliated by turning the Potomac rubescent with a carefully deployed burst of borscht followed up by a cabbage-related offensive up the coast. Before you know it, Twinkies would have been falling from Leningrad to Volgograd and Hostess Cakes would have been bigger than Lockheed Martin.
But yes, British supermarket sandwiches. If there's any meal that epitomises disappointment, it's there, on the shelves of a high street. It's no wonder Pret and the like get away with £5 sandwiches when the alternative is a couple of limp slices of bread uneasily caressing a minimal amount of filling that's been embedded in a tomb of glutinous mayonnaise for about seven days. The whole thing tastes of sticky nothing enlivened by occasional cryptic changes in texture.
I like sandwiches with only a modest filling. The idea of half a cow between 2 bits of bread doesn't do it for me at all.
I gave the entire cold war via food thing a good think last night. I have to say that there is no way ever that cabbage can beat Twinkies. The USSR was doomed from the start.
Cullen skink is a thick Scottish soup made of smoked haddock, potatoes and onions.
Waits
I bought a mangosteen today....they'd loaded it with two enormous oblongs of nshima, ...
Is nshima like ugali? If so, unlucky you! Like polenta but without so much as the appealing colour.I've rarely been whelmed by a tropical fruit, other than a mango.
Never eaten mangosteen?
Yup, same stuff as you find throughout Africa, pap whatever. White polenta. Very bland. I tried to spice it up with an indelicate helping of sauce. If you'd ever had nali sauce, you'll know why this wasn't such a good idea. The best one was in Ghana once where the chef made a fish shape out of it and then stuck a fried fish head on the end. Et voilà, le poisson. Never figured out what happened to the rest of the fish. I'm not generally a fan of fish heads.
You know, I don't think I have eaten a mangosteen. But I'm really having a strong impression of a mango bursting out with Born in the USA.
Quote from: wikipediaCullen skink is a thick Scottish soup made of smoked haddock, potatoes and onions.
The exact quantities may vary as does the use of milk or cream.
B&B owners - two gulps does not a tea make. Please to be supplying a mug sized object.
Silly things to serve food and drink in, part 112: at Boston Tea Party yesterday, a bottle of juice was decanted into a cross between a jar and a mug. It was the size of a mug and had a handle, but was made of glass and had a screw thread at the top. I'm told the juice was good anyway.
Silly things to serve food and drink in, part 112: at Boston Tea Party yesterday, a bottle of juice was decanted into a cross between a jar and a mug. It was the size of a mug and had a handle, but was made of glass and had a screw thread at the top. I'm told the juice was good anyway.
Reminds me of the bar I was in many years ago in a sleepy corner of Pennsylvania. This was long before I knew what real beer was, and considered Budweiser on tap to be about as good as it got. Anyway, this bar had something passable to my palate at the time (IIRC it was something like Yuengling), and as I ordered my third pint of it the barmaid said it was cheaper by the quart. So I ordered a quart of it, and was basically presented with what looked like an oversized jam jar with some form of handle attached.
You may draw your own conclusions regarding the alcohol content of said beer from the fact that after drinking a gallon of the stuff I was still walking and perfectly coherent. That much Stella would have put me under the table.
Silly things to serve food and drink in, part 112: at Boston Tea Party yesterday, a bottle of juice was decanted into a cross between a jar and a mug. It was the size of a mug and had a handle, but was made of glass and had a screw thread at the top. I'm told the juice was good anyway.
Reminds me of the bar I was in many years ago in a sleepy corner of Pennsylvania. This was long before I knew what real beer was, and considered Budweiser on tap to be about as good as it got. Anyway, this bar had something passable to my palate at the time (IIRC it was something like Yuengling), and as I ordered my third pint of it the barmaid said it was cheaper by the quart. So I ordered a quart of it, and was basically presented with what looked like an oversized jam jar with some form of handle attached.
You may draw your own conclusions regarding the alcohol content of said beer from the fact that after drinking a gallon of the stuff I was still walking and perfectly coherent. That much Stella would have put me under the table.
In a small town off the Potomac the other year we had a pleasant meal in a nice restaurant off the main street. They served Chimay by the pint (I want to say Blue, but I suspect given the amount imbibed and the fact that I didn't try to swim the Potomac, that it was Red). It wasn't in the right glass though.
I remember the first time I was in the US, going to a party and drinking (with a friend) an entire case of MGD to no effect other than my spending a lot of time queuing to use the toilet.
If you get the chance, go to Stone's brew restaurant place in Escondido.
We got chatting with someone in authority there, had a fine evening, and when we got back to the UK there was a big case of beer waiting. Being English has its perks (and I told them how I'd fallen out of the sky on the way to San Diego, and the waitress brought me free beer). Also reminds of the time I bumped into the Sierra Nevada sales team in my Philadelphia hotel bar. Beer guinea pig, you say? Oh, and Rogue in San Fran. Well, chaps if you insist I try. I make it my business to the find beer salespeople. I got sales radar.
I've always assumed the piss weak US beers were orientated around the need to drive. I don't think it's possible to drink enough MGD to fail a field sobriety test. The only danger is that if takes too long you'll start pissing like a out-of-control sprinkler attachment which could make you stumble off the straight line.
I've always assumed the piss weak US beers were orientated around the need to drive. I don't think it's possible to drink enough MGD to fail a field sobriety test. The only danger is that if takes too long you'll start pissing like a out-of-control sprinkler attachment which could make you stumble off the straight line.
Never heard of Yuengling (sounds Chinese) but Budweiser would have me vomitting long before a gallon, and not from the alcohol. OTOH I'm off to Prague in a week or so and am looking forward to some proper Budweiser from Budweiser. And I bet it won't be served in a jam jar!Silly things to serve food and drink in, part 112: at Boston Tea Party yesterday, a bottle of juice was decanted into a cross between a jar and a mug. It was the size of a mug and had a handle, but was made of glass and had a screw thread at the top. I'm told the juice was good anyway.
Reminds me of the bar I was in many years ago in a sleepy corner of Pennsylvania. This was long before I knew what real beer was, and considered Budweiser on tap to be about as good as it got. Anyway, this bar had something passable to my palate at the time (IIRC it was something like Yuengling), and as I ordered my third pint of it the barmaid said it was cheaper by the quart. So I ordered a quart of it, and was basically presented with what looked like an oversized jam jar with some form of handle attached.
You may draw your own conclusions regarding the alcohol content of said beer from the fact that after drinking a gallon of the stuff I was still walking and perfectly coherent. That much Stella would have put me under the table.
Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should contain::thumbsup:Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should not contain:
- water
- hops
- barley1
- yeast
- the swim bladder of the Atlantic sturgeon (optional)
- rice
- fruit
- chocolate
- anything else which makes it smell funny
- a bit of fucking lime jammed in the neck of the bottle
- rats
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should contain:Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should not contain:
- water
- hops
- barley1
- yeast
- the swim bladder of the Atlantic sturgeon (optional)
- rice
- fruit
- chocolate
- anything else which makes it smell funny
- a bit of fucking lime jammed in the neck of the bottle
- rats
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should contain:Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should not contain:
- water
- hops
- barley1
- yeast
- the swim bladder of the Atlantic sturgeon (optional)
- rice
- fruit
- chocolate
- anything else which makes it smell funny
- a bit of fucking lime jammed in the neck of the bottle
- rats
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
I recall Yuengling (Pennsylvania Dutch, innit) being pretty good when I tried it - a Wiener lager style. But then I had just come off 6 weeks without a decent drink (i.e. only Bud), so my palate may have been skewed.
Yuengling has been around forever and these days, like Sam Adams, do that mass produced craft beer. Generally a better option than industrial bilge (seriously, people drink Budweiser in the UK, when they have a choice, it's worse that our own Carlsbergs/Carlings, and that's like comparing the merits of different urine samples, it's all piss and you're drinking it voluntarily). But indeed, I wouldn't cross the street for it, especially given that craft beer is everywhere in the US these days. It's the sort of stuff you'd take a party on the grounds that most of it will get guzzled by someone else (while you steal the nice stuff).
I sadly can't agree with Mr Larrer's beer list, I have some lovely rice beers in Japan (though I'd agree that generally rice and corn-based industrial effluent beers are to be avoided and anyone that drinks Corona should have a lime wedge shoved down their throat to keep them quiet while you shoot them), you can't condemn fruit once you've held a good, sour kriek, and you want all kinds of weird playing in good wheat beer, and I'll give chocolate a shot in a stout or porter. The rigorous adherence to a strict set of ingredients give you German beer that ranges from the insipid (Becks) through to the stolid, if dull.
But yes, this is a rant thread, so sod taxes, I say we hunt anyone who produces, drinks, or otherwise engages with 'tequila-flavoured' Mexican beer products with big angry dogs.
I was in Amsterdam once where my ourquer de vache suggested I try a wheat beer, in place of the Euro-fizz. Ever keen for new experiences, I agreed. A glass of something so cloudy that if it were a pint of honest BRITON'S BEER you would have no qualms in handing it straight back, even if the landlady was Ursula The Sea Witch that used to inhabit Thee Pubbe near here, was placed in front of me. But they made it better. By putting a slice of lemon in it. Innit.
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
When I was a Penniless Student Oaf we learned to tell the difference between imported tinnies of XXXX and the muck from Mortlake1.
Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should contain:Here is a list of ingredients that BEER should not contain:
- water
- hops
- barley1
- yeast
- the swim bladder of the Atlantic sturgeon (optional)
- rice
- fruit
- chocolate
- anything else which makes it smell funny
- a bit of fucking lime jammed in the neck of the bottle
- rats
1: Or wheat, if you like wheat BEER
I think avocado is one of those fruits/veges which is usually sold way under-ripe. If you do get a ripe one, it's quite tasty.
3F, Hansens Kriek, Cantillon, Boon Oude Kriek (probably the least sour of those, but nice cherries.) All good. You could use the cheap and sweet stuff to cook duck in kriek sauce though :P
The problem with krieks is that they turned into Bacardi Breezers and become increasingly sweet and nasty. A proper 3 Fonteinen Oude Kriek will set you right, or a Cantillon. People will argue to the death over a good kriek, but it has to be lambic and face-puckeringly sour.
The Stella sold by Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles tasted considerably different from that sold by Mr Patel in the offie, which:Shirly you mean advokaat.which suggests Mr P's Stella was sourced outwith the recognised supply chain.
- was nicer, and
- lacked a lot of the "Brewed in $CHEMICAL_PLANT" information on the can
And both were nectar compared with Fosters. My grate frend Mikey actually drinks Fosters of his own volition, but he's Canadian and probably had his taste buds frozen at an early age or eaten by BEARs or something.
Also: avocados. Poo! Do I want to eat something that sounds like a lawyer? No. No, I do not.
I shouldn't complain, I'm recently back from copious amount of Malawi Carlsberg which, perhaps owing the the environs, didn't taste quite as bad as the real Carlsberg and reasonably drinkable. Given the alternative was Chibuka, I think a reasoned choice, unless you like your beer in a milk carton that requires vigorous shaking. Actually, it's not that bad, but something of acquired taste. I think usually made from sorghum or maize. And possibly dead dogs. When you travel a lot, especially to lesser visited parts of the word, it's common for locals to feed you something just to see what kinds of faces you pull.
It's still a world better than Australian beers which seem to be predicated on little more than being wet. Possibly they've improved, it's been many years since I've been out that way. I used to think they sent us all the bad stuff, then it turned out not to be true.
The Stella sold by Mr Sainsbury's House of Toothy Comestibles tasted considerably different from that sold by Mr Patel in the offie, which:Shirly you mean advokaat.which suggests Mr P's Stella was sourced outwith the recognised supply chain.
- was nicer, and
- lacked a lot of the "Brewed in $CHEMICAL_PLANT" information on the can
And both were nectar compared with Fosters. My grate frend Mikey actually drinks Fosters of his own volition, but he's Canadian and probably had his taste buds frozen at an early age or eaten by BEARs or something.
Also: avocados. Poo! Do I want to eat something that sounds like a lawyer? No. No, I do not.
Another nommy drink. Not.
...avocados and advokaat...
The difference between avocados and advokaat is quite substantial.
...avocados and advokaat...
Could this be a basis for a cocktail?
The first Mrs E used to drink advokaat and port mixed. It looks like a boil in a glass.This cannot be a thing. Please tell me this not an ACTUAL THING.
The first Mrs E used to drink advokaat and port mixed. It looks like a boil in a glass.This cannot be a thing. Please tell me this not an ACTUAL THING.
The first Mrs E used to drink advokaat and port mixed. It looks like a boil in a glass.This cannot be a thing. Please tell me this not an ACTUAL THING.
Damn you all, I like advocat, and I won't be shamed. I have a bottle in my fridge, when no one is looking I go rustle up a snowball. It tumbles me right back to my childhood when my gran used to make them. She also used to feed me Mackeson Milk Stout, which was, according to my her, good for me. Even if I was about eight. I like milk stouts to this day though the last time I had Mackeson was about a decade ago when I found it on tap in a bar in Hong Kong.
...avocados and advokaat...
Could this be a basis for a cocktail?
Damn you all, I like advocat, and I won't be shamed.
She also used to feed me Mackeson Milk Stout, which was, according to her, good for me. Even if I was about eight. I like milk stouts to this day though the last time I had Mackeson was about a decade ago when I found it on tap in a bar in Hong Kong.
I'm still liking the advocaat. I got no shame, mix it up with Babycham a drop a morello cherry in it, and I'm all yours. It's also quite nice tipped over ice cream.
I'm more concerned that people are saying that some types of Stella 'aren't nice to drink' which presupposes that there is, somewhere, a Stella that is nice to drink. This doesn't seem conceivable. I think a lot of these brewed under licence things are like the Guinness, they knock up some kind of flavouring extract and ship it around the world and then dilute it with cheap, industrial lager product or cargo ship bilge on site.
Sadly, you can't get Lav lager in the UK, which is probably the most aptly named lager in the world (it's not that bad, compared to the industrial muck in our pubs).It's hard to imagine anything worse than Castlemaine XXXX. To think that people voluntarily hand over money to experience it is mind-boggling. Unless they did the same thing I did, buy one pint and resolve never to touch the stuff again, and there are just lots of unenlightened drifters who have yet to experience the culinary abomination that is XXXX.
contango- ref XXXX - Can is suggest that you try draft 1664 as a comparison?
If you are of mature years , you may also have experienced the original "Kestrel " lager marketed by Scottish and Newcastle.
Not their proudest achievement IMHO.
I have just googled Kestrel beer and it's being marketed with a "strong Scottish heritage". It's still piss in a can, just can't decide if its cats ,rats or gnats.
I remember once, in another of those ill-advised student adventures, we had a party themed around various varieties of what might best be described as tramp juice. So we had the Special Brew, the Tennents Super, Kestrel Premium, White Lightning Cider, MD20, Thunderbird, and the like. It says something that even students couldn't drink this crap and had to abandon and go down the pub. And if you've ever thrown up Thunderbird (a natural corollary of having drunk Thunderbird) you'll never be able to look at another bottle, even behind the counter, without an involuntary stomach back-flip.
I arranged a 'drink a rainbow' evening in my last year at college. I think the more intrepid souls almost completed a double rainbow. Sad (and hardly surprising) to say that I remember little, other than that my first yellow was a pint of lager and the blue was something with blue Curacao in it.
I'm pretty sure I've encountered 1664 in my travels in USAnia. It's another one which varies in taste according to whether it comes from Mr Patel or Mr Sainsbury.
I'm pretty sure I've encountered 1664 in my travels in USAnia.
I arranged a 'drink a rainbow' evening in my last year at college. I think the more intrepid souls almost completed a double rainbow. Sad (and hardly surprising) to say that I remember little, other than that my first yellow was a pint of lager and the blue was something with blue Curacao in it.
Ah yes, the sugary syrup with alcohol in it beloved of cocktails that just need a splash of colour.
A friend of mine was a teetotaller when he first arrived at university. On a trip into town I somehow helped him conclude that what he really needed was a bottle of creme de menthe, a bottle of creme de bananes, and a case of Budweiser. I never did figure out quite how that panned out. Still, bright green and bright yellow made for some interesting colour combinations, although the best-tasting drink (relatively speaking) we found with either of them was the rather dangerously named "snake in the grass" which turned out to be nothing more than creme de menthe and lemonade, with sugar optional in case the syrupy sweetness of the creme de menthe was insufficient.
On another note a fair few years ago a friend wanted to whittle down his drinks cabinet so invited a load of us around for a cocktail party. We started out drinking B52s, and when one of the ingredients ran out (we were quite well oiled by that stage) I just substituted it for something else and called it a B53. Next up was the B54, and so on. By the end of the evening we were into the 60s, nobody except me knew what was in the cocktails (and I couldn't remember), and all we knew was that the morning after there were lots of sore heads and the remains of the final drink was still in a glass. It was a murky green colour with a black swirl in it.
The host was pleased that a large chunk of his drinks cabinet had been cleared out, but less pleased that half of his bottle of 16-year-old Lagavulin had also disappeared along the way.
I think the difference in booze is down to the imported vs. brewed under licence by industrial chemists. Brewers swear it's the same. My wife's BFF is someone mysteriously senior at SABMiller and she won't tell me, probably because they've put a microchip in her brain to stop her. Her eyes glaze like she's had Everest in and she says 'it is the same' in a robot voice, and then, a moment later, she clicks back into reality with a 'did I say something?'
Old Speckled Hen I find unmistakably foul too. Sort of sticky icky, like it's made out of tongues and snail slime.
On other matters, is it just me, or does Red Bull smell like old sick? And why are people drinking it. Apparently it contains taurine. Are they cats? Do they lick their own arse clean? Enquiring minds want to know. OK, you can skip the last bit.
Advocaaaaaaaaat is a bit like drinking an especially sweet and liquid alcoholic custard. But not quite as good as that would actually be.
The smell of Red Bull is evil. It can fill a room like sarin within a few seconds of someone popping a can open. It smells like stomach contents.
Given that the wayward youth down it with vodka it is a considerable component of what they spray over Croydon town centre's pavements in the early hours of a Sunday morning. Like Thunderbird and Southern Comfort, it's one of those liquids that smells as bad going down as coming up.
Well, I can only imagine Thunderbird alone contravenes several chemical weapons conventions. Mixing it like that could take out several city blocks. I think the story goes that E&G Gallo invented Thunderbird as part of a Republican plot to wipe out homeless people. Actually that might have been Wild Irish Rose. They're all better than Cisco Strawberry. I think that was invented to euthanise adult elephants. You know where they got the idea for the sizzling acid blood in Alien? Cisco Strawberry. When the Devil sat down in Hell one day and thought, boy, damning all these souls is thirsty work, if only we had something like Kool-Aid down here, Astaroth outdid himself came up with Cisco Strawberry for him. I think it's available in peach too. I'm pretty sure no fruit was harmed in its manufacture. Even the colour hurts your eyes so I can only imagine that any hangover, if not immediately fatal, is like having a rusty railway spike bashed through your head with an industrial steam hammer.
You can say whatever you want about my liking for advocaat, but even I have standards. I'm not sure if you can get Cisco Strawberry in the UK. For this we should be thankful.
The name makes it sound like a corporate rival to the Raspberry Pi
In Southern Africa, the 'Fanta Orange' is still the utterly magnificent hi-viz luminous orange that's not been legal in the EU for 20 years.
And it tastes wonderfully synthetic!
Well, I can only imagine Thunderbird alone contravenes several chemical weapons conventions. Mixing it like that could take out several city blocks.
I think the story goes that E&G Gallo invented Thunderbird as part of a Republican plot to wipe out homeless people. Actually that might have been Wild Irish Rose. They're all better than Cisco Strawberry. I think that was invented to euthanise adult elephants. You know where they got the idea for the sizzling acid blood in Alien? Cisco Strawberry. When the Devil sat down in Hell one day and thought, boy, damning all these souls is thirsty work, if only we had something like Kool-Aid down here, Astaroth outdid himself came up with Cisco Strawberry for him. I think it's available in peach too. I'm pretty sure no fruit was harmed in its manufacture. Even the colour hurts your eyes so I can only imagine that any hangover, if not immediately fatal, is like having a rusty railway spike bashed through your head with an industrial steam hammer.
You can say whatever you want about my liking for advocaat, but even I have standards. I'm not sure if you can get Cisco Strawberry in the UK. For this we should be thankful.
(https://farm1.staticflickr.com/328/20138550198_89eea025d7_z.jpg)That looks like tarhun, which is would be No. 1 on Adam Hart-Davis' never-made series What the Former Soviet Union Did For Us.
(https://flic.kr/p/wFzkmJ)DSC_2677 (https://flic.kr/p/wFzkmJ) by Ron Lowe (https://www.flickr.com/photos/62966413@N04/), on Flickr
Oh yes, back onto the solids: fish. I'm not big on piscine menu items. I can't eat sushi or sashimi, the sensation of raw fish in my mouth just makes me wriggle and gag. I don't get it. Raw meat in general. And fish is a bit smelly. Yes, yes, someone will say but if it's fresh it doesn't smell. But it's not unless you're bloody Rick Stein or have a great big bloody trawler parked outside, it's not fresh and it is fishy.
Oh yes, back onto the solids: fish. I'm not big on piscine menu items. I can't eat sushi or sashimi, the sensation of raw fish in my mouth just makes me wriggle and gag. I don't get it. Raw meat in general. And fish is a bit smelly. Yes, yes, someone will say but if it's fresh it doesn't smell. But it's not unless you're bloody Rick Stein or have a great big bloody trawler parked outside, it's not fresh and it is fishy.
So, no fresh raw herring and diced onion inna bun purchased from C.M.O.T van Dibbler on an Amsterdam Street Corner for you then?
Raw herring? What are you people, mental or something? OK, I had to eat raw herring once and didn't precisely die, but I think I might have come close to having a facial convulsion. I was made to eat it by Chef Erik. I have no idea who Chef Erik is, but I'm told he's a celebrity in Sweden.
Pickled isn't raw....
I'd rather have that than the smoked eel again.
Raw herring? What are you people, mental or something? OK, I had to eat raw herring once and didn't precisely die, but I think I might have come close to having a facial convulsion. I was made to eat it by Chef Erik. I have no idea who Chef Erik is, but I'm told he's a celebrity in Sweden.
(https://notanotherfrozenshouldersurgeryblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/swedish-chef.jpg)
I didn't realise he did fish as well as chicken.
The Chinese seem to love odd coloured Fantas too. Odd coloured anything. I'm not sure about all those additives, kids seem a lot dumber these days, so I reckon excesses of E110 made me what I am. I quite fancy some Tarhun, which I've never tried. Mind you I made that mistake with Unicum which is definitely a case of spit rather than swallow.
Oh yes, back onto the solids: fish. I'm not big on piscine menu items. I can't eat sushi or sashimi, the sensation of raw fish in my mouth just makes me wriggle and gag. I don't get it. Raw meat in general. And fish is a bit smelly. Yes, yes, someone will say but if it's fresh it doesn't smell. But it's not unless you're bloody Rick Stein or have a great big bloody trawler parked outside, it's not fresh and it is fishy.
Raw herring? What are you people, mental or something? OK, I had to eat raw herring once and didn't precisely die, but I think I might have come close to having a facial convulsion. I was made to eat it by Chef Erik. I have no idea who Chef Erik is, but I'm told he's a celebrity in Sweden.
(https://notanotherfrozenshouldersurgeryblog.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/swedish-chef.jpg)
I didn't realise he did fish as well as chicken.
Pickled isn't raw....
I'd rather have that than the smoked eel again.
And pickling isn't cooking. Leaving a dead thing in a vat of acid isn't cooking. It's a way of disposing of the evidence.
And pickling isn't cooking. Leaving a dead thing in a vat of acid isn't cooking. It's a way of disposing of the evidence.When I was a small, my mum once found me sitting on the kitchen floor with a spoon and a jar of pickled onions, steadily eating my way through them.
There is actually no upper limit on the number of pickled cucumbers and gherkins I can eat in one session.
There was no apparent limit on the amount of Great Granny Isobel's homemade pickled beetroot (homegrown by Great Grandad Bill) that I would eat if left to my own devices as a small child.Eating beetroot as an adult makes your bloody pee look normal.
Having given it some thought, I can probably eat all the pickled vegetables in the world. Beetroot are purple loveliness in the jar, red cabbage, pickled onions, you name it. Pickled animal or fish parts, no, that's back into evidence disposal. I also flagrantly disregard the 'use within 5 days' warnings. I believe in living on the edge and intestinal parkour.
Pickled herring, gherkin, rye bread and vodka. YUMMY!Yes.
After a long weekend in NYC, I'm disappointed to report that all my food was served on plates. Nothing came to me astride a piece of slate, a discarded licence plate, hub cap, or manhole cover.
I also disgusted my wife by eating pancakes with eggs, sausage, and Canadian 'bacon' in a sea of maple syrup and butter. I also ate fried chicken on a huge belgian waffle (with spicy aioli and maple syrup) while working my way through the bar's extensive list of craft beer. She believes the the combination of meat and sweet is fundamentally wrong and may result in the collapse of the universe. I say bring on the galactic crunch.
Maple syrup would be my guess.
It's like a CV, Barakta. If it's not on the first page, and preferably in the first couple of paragraphs, no one's going to read it.
It's like a CV, Barakta. If it's not on the first page, and preferably in the first couple of paragraphs, no one's going to read it.
After a long weekend in NYC, I'm disappointed to report that all my food was served on plates. Nothing came to me astride a piece of slate, a discarded licence plate, hub cap, or manhole cover.
I also disgusted my wife by eating pancakes with eggs, sausage, and Canadian 'bacon' in a sea of maple syrup and butter. I also ate fried chicken on a huge belgian waffle (with spicy aioli and maple syrup) while working my way through the bar's extensive list of craft beer. She believes the the combination of meat and sweet is fundamentally wrong and may result in the collapse of the universe. I say bring on the galactic crunch.
Maple syrup would be my guess.
ETA: I'm not actually that keen on maple syrup. Will I still be allowed into Canada if they find out?
I wonder if they read it all? Clearly, they shouldn't have said they'd do it if they hadn't checked the whole thing. I'm only thinking from their point of view why they didn't read it and how next year's caterers could be encouraged to do so.It's like a CV, Barakta. If it's not on the first page, and preferably in the first couple of paragraphs, no one's going to read it.
We kept telling them we have loads of awkward diet people and were PROMISED it wouldn't be a problem. It wouldn't have been a problem IF the fucking caterer had read the full spec. I really do want some kind of financial recompense FROM the caterer for that cos Friday was just fuckup central.
To this day, I demand someone takes the skin off, I've never understood that. Are you supposed it eat it?
Proper maple syrup is quite alcoholic too.um - no it isn't.
I've experienced food on sticks. I don't think there's anything in the mid-west that they can't deliver deep-fried on a stick, and I won't say anything bad about the mighty corn dog.
Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Oddly, one of the first things that happened to me when I arrived in Canada was a trip to a maple syrup farm, possibly to establish for the stupid and misplaced Englishman that it doesn't come out of sugary cows. After that we climbed Mount Canadian stereotype for a game of ice hockey. But yes, maple syrup should be squeezed out of maple trees by burly, plaid shirted Eh-Eh-Ehing Canadians. At a pinch I'll accept Vermonters who are effectively sneaking out of the US when no one is looking (if I remember, there's a on town on the border with a theatre where you can actually enter in the US and watch the show in Canada).
Faux maple syrup is a crime in any jurisdiction and one I will not abide. Fortunately I know my NYC diners and thus minimize the risk of 'Canadian-style maple flavored syrup'. The further south you sink, the riskier the proposition gets. In California, for some reason, I once ended up with agave syrup which wasn't as bad as it sounded.
It could have been worse, it might have been avocado syrup.
Reminds me, cafes in the UK that put random cheap brown sauce in the HP bottles because it must save like, oh, pence. Stop it.
Right, I'm off to Paris. There's bound to be a rant in that. I can feel those Parisian waiters bristling already. Poor schoolboy French locked and loaded. It's the only way to neutralize those surly waiters.
Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
Giving me six chips stacked with three on top of three might look poncey but gives me the impression you're just ripping me off and expecting me to admire the process.You mean there are times when food might look poncey without giving you the impression you're being ripped off?
Actually, the main reason is that few farmers are allowed to sell it. 'Green top' milk was not pasteurized and farmers had to be subject to rigorous testing regimes in order to be licensed to sell it. Dunno anywhere here that offers it.Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
Giving me six chips stacked with three on top of three might look poncey but gives me the impression you're just ripping me off and expecting me to admire the process.You mean there are times when food might look poncey without giving you the impression you're being ripped off?
Actually, the main reason is that few farmers are allowed to sell it. 'Green top' milk was not pasteurized and farmers had to be subject to rigorous testing regimes in order to be licensed to sell it. Dunno anywhere here that offers it.Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
When I lived in Holmfirth we had a milkperson who delivered direct from the farm. Really fresh greentop, fantastic stuff.
To this day, I demand someone takes the skin off, I've never understood that. Are you supposed it eat it?
Yes, if it's properly cooked. There's a delicious layer of fat just under the skin, and this becomes crispy if fried, and takes on the flavour of whatever delicious things the fish was cooked in. Fry the fish with finely chopped hazelnuts and crushed garlic, or steam it with ginger and spring onion, or coat it with tamarind and chillies and deep-fry it, and the skin is the best bit.
If the skin is limp, tastes of nothing, or still has lots of scales, then don't eat it. But I wouldn't go back to a restaurant that served fish like this: they clearly don't know what they are doing.
I guess knowing the individual cow it came from reduces the risk of disease.
Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
To this day, I demand someone takes the skin off, I've never understood that. Are you supposed it eat it?
Yes, if it's properly cooked. There's a delicious layer of fat just under the skin, and this becomes crispy if fried, and takes on the flavour of whatever delicious things the fish was cooked in. Fry the fish with finely chopped hazelnuts and crushed garlic, or steam it with ginger and spring onion, or coat it with tamarind and chillies and deep-fry it, and the skin is the best bit.
If the skin is limp, tastes of nothing, or still has lots of scales, then don't eat it. But I wouldn't go back to a restaurant that served fish like this: they clearly don't know what they are doing.
I'm writing off fish in general, it's pretty much reached its culinary epitome when breaded and divided into neat fingers. I can manage battered fish, though it tends to be a bit of a faff and I reach my grease quota about halfway through the average battered haddock and my insides start to feel like an oil-slicked seagull looks. There is no actual limit to the amount of tuna or salmon from a tin I can eat though. Me and the cats could empty the oceans if they could squeeze out enough cans of the stuff. Fresh tuna makes me angry because chefs always insist on leaving it raw in the middle. My thoughts on sushi and sashimi ought to be well-known by now.
Fresh fish, mostly always overrated. You must try the seabass someone will demand. It's tastes like the colour white might taste. Now maybe you can concoct some kind of sauce, but if so, tip it over something useful that doesn't cost £5 a mouthful.
Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
Unpasteurised milk. Jeez, what next? A smallpox revival? I don't drink milk unless it's been zapped, filtered, and irradiated into something that wouldn’t even recognise actual milk from a cow. I remember full fat milk as a child. It used to make me heave. The best thing Thatcher ever did was get rid of those little bottles of milk at our school, they'd sit there half the day, the cream steadily congealing into a trampoline of fat, and then we had to drink it, trying to recover some milk from the bottle through a process akin to fracking with a straw, desperate not to choke on a clot of lard from the top. I remember when David 'Donkey' Derbyshire went full on vomit after a bottle that had sat there sweltering for a good five hours of summer day whereupon he simultaneously ejaculated two jets of milk out of his nostrils, followed by his entire school dinner. At no point, did his mouth open, everything had to exit through the narrower streets of his nose. He started firing peas and carrots like a nasal Gatling gun before ending in a terminal snuffle of mashed potato and chewed up sausage that made it look like his brains were oozing out of his head (the only giveaway was that Donkey never had that much brains). You can't possibly know how traumatic that was to our young minds. I don't think our teacher ever returned to teaching.
Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
We always had green top milk when I lived in Huddersfield. It's much nicer than other milk.Actually, the main reason is that few farmers are allowed to sell it. 'Green top' milk was not pasteurized and farmers had to be subject to rigorous testing regimes in order to be licensed to sell it. Dunno anywhere here that offers it.Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
When I lived in Holmfirth we had a milkperson who delivered direct from the farm. Really fresh greentop, fantastic stuff.
Very different, I'd say. Both ⅓ pint and 200ml are "sensible" sizes or rather sizes sensibly expressed. 189ml or, say, 2/9 pint would not be.Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
In other matters, gluten intolerance, when did that become a lifestyle. Hey everyone, I'm gluten intolerant. Seriously lady, I don't even know your name and already you're telling me which foods might make you fart.
Coeliac disease is much more serious.
Same with lactose. I'm not 100% intolerant, just annoyingly so - it's tedious and boring and makes buying ready cooked/made food very difficult although not as difficult as coeliacs have it.
people who might previously have suffered in silence at home are now feeling they have the right, if not always the ability, to safely eat out.
OTOH, I've just discovered the minimum regulation size of a cricket ball is 8 13/16 inches. But presumably that was set empirically.Very different, I'd say. Both ⅓ pint and 200ml are "sensible" sizes or rather sizes sensibly expressed. 189ml or, say, 2/9 pint would not be.Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
Restaurants/cafes/brasseries of Paris and Versailles: vegetarians exist and we are willing to exchange money for food. Sort it out.
Very different, I'd say. Both ⅓ pint and 200ml are "sensible" sizes or rather sizes sensibly expressed. 189ml or, say, 2/9 pint would not be.Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
We all react differently to food stuff. I literally cannot eat beans without significant pain. And I remember the fateful description from a colorectal surgeon former colleague of mine of the man who farted so badly that his insides fell out. Apparently it looked like a 'giant bloody cauliflower'. He fair ruined my dessert with that description. Never share an office with bum surgeons and urologists.
School milk. We used to purloin bottles and stash them were they wouldn't be found. The aim was to get an extrusion of stuff that looked like cream from a spray can (and smelt litkeit too) with the foil cap perched on top. Under it would be a swirly mix of a greenish fluid and white wispy clumps. Marvellous.
Bike parts are weird in this respect. Why do we have 11/4" headsets but 31.8mm bars? Apart from Deda, who make 31.7mm bars – but it's the same size, just rounded down instead of up.Very different, I'd say. Both ⅓ pint and 200ml are "sensible" sizes or rather sizes sensibly expressed. 189ml or, say, 2/9 pint would not be.Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
No reason to resize to 200ml when things were measured in imperial.
It makes no more sense than insisting that the 25.4mm length be rounded down to an "easier" 25mm. It might work better in metric but the reduction from 1" to 0.984" isn't going to please the people using the original units.
An ongoing gripe for me (unrelated to food, but what the heck) was the way imperial units were abandoned in a way that made what could have been a simple job into a major job. Trying to replace a 3-foot-square shower tray was an experience when things were metric, where a 1-metre-square unit didn't fit and a 90-cm-square unit left enough space at the edges I might as well have sprayed all the water over the floor and been done with it.
I sometimes wonder how many people are still getting rich from selling pipe connectors to join 1/2" pipe to 15mm pipe.
Almost certainly from the dairy I was talking about!We always had green top milk when I lived in Huddersfield. It's much nicer than other milk.Actually, the main reason is that few farmers are allowed to sell it. 'Green top' milk was not pasteurized and farmers had to be subject to rigorous testing regimes in order to be licensed to sell it. Dunno anywhere here that offers it.Why don't people just go along to their local dairy farm and ask to buy raw milk?
Tuberculosis.
When I lived in Holmfirth we had a milkperson who delivered direct from the farm. Really fresh greentop, fantastic stuff.
If barakta wants dairy-free kosher food, choose anything marked 'Parev' or 'Parve', which means neutral.
Orthodox Jews don't eat meat with milk and might not eat anything dairy for several hours after meat. This means they seek foods they can eat after meat meals.
Bike parts are weird in this respect. Why do we have 11/4" headsets but 31.8mm bars? Apart from Deda, who make 31.7mm bars – but it's the same size, just rounded down instead of up.Very different, I'd say. Both ⅓ pint and 200ml are "sensible" sizes or rather sizes sensibly expressed. 189ml or, say, 2/9 pint would not be.Am I the only person who liked my school milk?
I remember numerous tricks to try and get hold of a second unusually sized bottle. One third of a pint was a bottle size I've never seen anywhere since then. Even the weird USA liquor bottles don't seem to include that particular size.
⅓ pint is 189ml. Is 200ml that different or difficult?
No reason to resize to 200ml when things were measured in imperial.
It makes no more sense than insisting that the 25.4mm length be rounded down to an "easier" 25mm. It might work better in metric but the reduction from 1" to 0.984" isn't going to please the people using the original units.
An ongoing gripe for me (unrelated to food, but what the heck) was the way imperial units were abandoned in a way that made what could have been a simple job into a major job. Trying to replace a 3-foot-square shower tray was an experience when things were metric, where a 1-metre-square unit didn't fit and a 90-cm-square unit left enough space at the edges I might as well have sprayed all the water over the floor and been done with it.
I sometimes wonder how many people are still getting rich from selling pipe connectors to join 1/2" pipe to 15mm pipe.
If barakta wants dairy-free kosher food, choose anything marked 'Parev' or 'Parve', which means neutral.
Orthodox Jews don't eat meat with milk and might not eat anything dairy for several hours after meat. This means they seek foods they can eat after meat meals.
If barakta wants dairy-free kosher food, choose anything marked 'Parev' or 'Parve', which means neutral.
Orthodox Jews don't eat meat with milk and might not eat anything dairy for several hours after meat. This means they seek foods they can eat after meat meals.
AIUI the guideline is something like three hours between eating milk and meat products. Apparently it originates from Exodus 23:19 that prohibits boiling a young goat in its mother's milk, but it seems to have gained layers of restriction over the years.
A Jewish friend of mine not only won't eat milk and meat products together, he won't eat one within three hours of eating the other, and has completely separate sets of cutlery and crockery for milk and meat dishes. In his kitchen he has two dishwashers - one for the meat dishes and one for the milk dishes. He doesn't describe himself as particularly strict, he knows people who are sufficiently strict they won't eat meat from a barbecue unless they know exactly what has been on it previously, in case it has been contaminated by something they regard as not kosher.
If barakta wants dairy-free kosher food, choose anything marked 'Parev' or 'Parve', which means neutral.
Orthodox Jews don't eat meat with milk and might not eat anything dairy for several hours after meat. This means they seek foods they can eat after meat meals.
AIUI the guideline is something like three hours between eating milk and meat products. Apparently it originates from Exodus 23:19 that prohibits boiling a young goat in its mother's milk, but it seems to have gained layers of restriction over the years.
A Jewish friend of mine not only won't eat milk and meat products together, he won't eat one within three hours of eating the other, and has completely separate sets of cutlery and crockery for milk and meat dishes. In his kitchen he has two dishwashers - one for the meat dishes and one for the milk dishes. He doesn't describe himself as particularly strict, he knows people who are sufficiently strict they won't eat meat from a barbecue unless they know exactly what has been on it previously, in case it has been contaminated by something they regard as not kosher.
All the members of my close family do all of that, including duplicated dishwashers.
The post meat milk abstinence is variable, depending on tradition.
Sephardi (Spanish, Portuguese & Oriental) Jews wait one hour.
Western Ashkenazi (Dutch, German) wait three hours.
Haredi usually wait six hours or 'into the sixth hour' (5+). This includes my sister and her kids.
Obviously, people get pretty hungry 5 hours after a meal so will want suitable snacks.
I fully appreciate where religious requirements are concerned the standard response is often "God said so", I just don't see where God actually did say so.
My first proper girlfriend (you can only have so much impropriety) was Jewish on her father's side (which probably meant she wasn't Jewish, isn't it matrilineal?), but anyway, areligious me got myself dragged along once-upon-a-time to gathering of her more remote orthodox relatives (they have better hats in Finchley, there should be a big orthodox hat league).
Judaism is matrilineal.
Finchley has good hats
Stamford Hill has extreme hats.
Finchley has good hats
Stamford Hill has extreme hats.
I fully appreciate where religious requirements are concerned the standard response is often "God said so", I just don't see where God actually did say so.
It's also one of those where I can't see a practical benefit (unlike say not eating easily perishable pork or seafood in hot climes without preservation)
Finchley has good hats
Stamford Hill has extreme hats.
Last Saturday (the Sabbath, for those not in the know) I walked from Stoke Newington (close enough to Stamford Hill) to Hendon. There was quite an impressive range of head coverings on display along the way.
To bring things back on topic...
HOW MUCH for skate?!? OK, it was a large piece of fish, and not bad, but definitely not worth £8! Now I see why you have all your prices up on the board - except for your fish. Next time I'll ask the price is I ask for anyhting other than cod.
although in the days of the Exodus it's possible there was some health implication associated with meat and milk that came from the same animal.
although in the days of the Exodus it's possible there was some health implication associated with meat and milk that came from the same animal.
Well, if we're talking about boiling goats in their own milk, and making uninformed guestimates about the capacity of the udder with respect to the volume of the entire goat, as well as the rate at which it's likely to re-fill, I'd say that unless you've got access to refrigeration it's an entirely stupid idea, rather than just kinky.
I can't go to Stamford Hill without, you know, wanting to pull a bit of facial hair and seeing if those lampshades light up. My wife, more culturally sensitive than I, points out that I shouldn't do this. I think the world would be a better place if God would select his chosen ones through a big hat competition. I love hats so I don't see why a deity wouldn't either. Anyway, there's the NYC variety of orthodox Jewishness, which to be honest, doesn't do much for me in the hat department.
Today's rantage. Those people, if I can call them that, who have to start shoveling stuff into their mouth before they have even paid for it. You know the ones, they lining up at the tills and already carving their way through the shrink-wrap and manhandling food into their steadily masticating jaws. What, like seriously, you're that hungry that you might die if have to wait another minute without foie grassing yourself with a chicken sandwich. Fucking well put that back in your basket and wait to pay for it.
I can't go to Stamford Hill without, you know, wanting to pull a bit of facial hair and seeing if those lampshades light up. My wife, more culturally sensitive than I, points out that I shouldn't do this. I think the world would be a better place if God would select his chosen ones through a big hat competition. I love hats so I don't see why a deity wouldn't either. Anyway, there's the NYC variety of orthodox Jewishness, which to be honest, doesn't do much for me in the hat department.
Today's rantage. Those people, if I can call them that, who have to start shoveling stuff into their mouth before they have even paid for it. You know the ones, they lining up at the tills and already carving their way through the shrink-wrap and manhandling food into their steadily masticating jaws. What, like seriously, you're that hungry that you might die if have to wait another minute without foie grassing yourself with a chicken sandwich. Fucking well put that back in your basket and wait to pay for it.
It's one thing to start eating something that's got a simple unit price on it. If the packet of sandwiches says 3.99 on it then it's 3.99 whether it's full or empty. But what is the checkout assistant supposed to do with a banana skin when they are priced by weight?
It is pretty lame when people are apparently so hungry they can't wait a couple of minutes to pay for their food before eating it, and also so incompetent they couldn't have gone to the store a few minutes earlier to avoid the problem in the first place.
I can't go to Stamford Hill without, you know, wanting to pull a bit of facial hair and seeing if those lampshades light up. My wife, more culturally sensitive than I, points out that I shouldn't do this. I think the world would be a better place if God would select his chosen ones through a big hat competition. I love hats so I don't see why a deity wouldn't either. Anyway, there's the NYC variety of orthodox Jewishness, which to be honest, doesn't do much for me in the hat department.
Today's rantage. Those people, if I can call them that, who have to start shoveling stuff into their mouth before they have even paid for it. You know the ones, they lining up at the tills and already carving their way through the shrink-wrap and manhandling food into their steadily masticating jaws. What, like seriously, you're that hungry that you might die if have to wait another minute without foie grassing yourself with a chicken sandwich. Fucking well put that back in your basket and wait to pay for it.
It's one thing to start eating something that's got a simple unit price on it. If the packet of sandwiches says 3.99 on it then it's 3.99 whether it's full or empty. But what is the checkout assistant supposed to do with a banana skin when they are priced by weight?
It is pretty lame when people are apparently so hungry they can't wait a couple of minutes to pay for their food before eating it, and also so incompetent they couldn't have gone to the store a few minutes earlier to avoid the problem in the first place.
I have to disagree.
When 20 AUKs hit a 24 hour garage at Audax o'clock and there is but one assistant to take money and stamp cards. Time waiting is time wasted and an AUK with plummeting sugar levels might not be a model of courtesy.
The flapjack wrapper will have the same bar code whether the flapjack has been eaten or not.
Best use of time is to eat in the queue, pay in good humour and use the garage's bin.
Sometimes I 'steal' from other people's trolleys too. Because I can.
At a local county fair in rural Americaland recently I saw some truly bizarre people. Of course over here being fat is considered a disability, so you see people so fat they can't walk getting around in mobility scooters
At a local county fair in rural Americaland recently I saw some truly bizarre people. Of course over here being fat is considered a disability, so you see people so fat they can't walk getting around in mobility scooters
Because people with mobility impairments never put on weight as a result... >:(
At a local county fair in rural Americaland recently I saw some truly bizarre people. Of course over here being fat is considered a disability, so you see people so fat they can't walk getting around in mobility scooters
Because people with mobility impairments never put on weight as a result... >:(
I've often thought that it might be a good idea to nick a full trolley, to save time in the horrible market.That sounds like my trolley. Well, it's more likely to have beer than pop and a bag of flour than nasty bread, but crisps, biscuits, pizza, ice cream, random shit, yes. I'll already have been to the greengrocer's to buy the fruit and veg, looking at my stupormarket trolley you'd think we never eat anything that's grown.
Closer inspection always puts me off though, as other people's 'big shop' seems to suggest that their evening meal menu for the next week will consist solely of crisps, biscuits and pop, plus loaves of nasty bread.
Our local Stainsbury's has a small 'world food' aisle, which is subdivided into three sections: Asian, Kosher and Polish. The last two feature almost identical foods but with different brand names, a rabbi's certificate and markedly varying prices. I guess rabbis don't give their stamp for free. (And most of the Polish stuff that's not kosher-alike differs only in brand name and price from what's on the standard shelves; a thousand miles of transport doesn't come for free either, but it's harder to see why people insist on paying for it.) I have never seen anyone in there wearing a hat.My first proper girlfriend (you can only have so much impropriety) was Jewish on her father's side (which probably meant she wasn't Jewish, isn't it matrilineal?), but anyway, areligious me got myself dragged along once-upon-a-time to gathering of her more remote orthodox relatives (they have better hats in Finchley, there should be a big orthodox hat league).
Judaism is matrilineal.
Finchley has good hats
Stamford Hill has extreme hats.
Mrs Elswood pickled cucumbers are my usual pickle. Very Kosher!
ps the freckled people are the chosen ones. Don't eat them. Your God will be displeased and her wrath mighty. Ish.Shouldn't this post be in the 'what are you drinking right now' thread? Or even the 'what on earth have you been drinking' one?
In fact that's what I'm calling my god: Ish. I'm inventing a religion right now.
I am currently eating some beer (IPA) flavour pickles to get me in the mood for pub o'clock. They're very good. Brooklyn Brine apparently, for some reason in M&S. Kosher. I presume there's a lot in Judaism about pickles. God, it would seem, is never without a jar of pickle to snack on. If you're shopping around a religion and you like hats and pickles, it seems the most natural home. Maybe I should start my own religion that's just about hats and pickles, and no other baggage.
Oh and freckles. I like freckles.
Oh my little furry pawed friend, I think we all appreciate that mobility scooters are an essential mobility aid, and indeed, people do have issues that lead to weight gain and they can certainly conflate. They let the old and infirm enjoy a level of independence that they wouldn't otherwise. I've not been deathed by mobility scooting pavement pigs yet, despite being promised that this very fate awaited me. Gurning grannies with kamikaze intent. Fortunately, my local municipality took steps to prevent this by ensuring there's not enough space left on the pavement for those scooters. Let the infirm stay at home where they're not taking up people's parking. Is it not bad enough that these bloody disabled already get the best parking spaces? I don't see why I should have to park my Q7 two rows away from the supermarket door.
That said, some people do seem to have fallen into the bottomless pit of fries and appear to be trying to eat their way out. I'm not sure that as a society we should keep making the excuses, obesity is something that needs to be addressed, and it can't be with the message that it's all OK and your weight is out of your control on the grounds that it might offend the minority for whom it genuinely isn't. And it's not a case of yelling 'hey fatty' but dealing with it constructively and providing an environment where our health and wellbeing becomes something that we control for ourselves. I think we've lost that. They Americans might have already jumped the shark (or tried and flattened that once frisky selachimorph) on the issue but we could at least try.
Oh my little furry pawed friend, I think we all appreciate that mobility scooters are an essential mobility aid, and indeed, people do have issues that lead to weight gain and they can certainly conflate. They let the old and infirm enjoy a level of independence that they wouldn't otherwise. I've not been deathed by mobility scooting pavement pigs yet, despite being promised that this very fate awaited me. Gurning grannies with kamikaze intent. Fortunately, my local municipality took steps to prevent this by ensuring there's not enough space left on the pavement for those scooters. Let the infirm stay at home where they're not taking up people's parking. Is it not bad enough that these bloody disabled already get the best parking spaces? I don't see why I should have to park my Q7 two rows away from the supermarket door.
That said, some people do seem to have fallen into the bottomless pit of fries and appear to be trying to eat their way out. I'm not sure that as a society we should keep making the excuses, obesity is something that needs to be addressed, and it can't be with the message that it's all OK and your weight is out of your control on the grounds that it might offend the minority for whom it genuinely isn't. And it's not a case of yelling 'hey fatty' but dealing with it constructively and providing an environment where our health and wellbeing becomes something that we control for ourselves. I think we've lost that. They Americans might have already jumped the shark (or tried and flattened that once frisky selachimorph) on the issue but we could at least try.
That is the big thing here (pun only kinda-sorta intended).
Of course we don't know whether the mobility issue caused the weight gain or the weight gain caused the mobility issue. But either way, if you're not moving about much and you're already so far into the "morbidly obese" category that you could lose half your body weight and still be morbidly obese, eating your own weight in popcorn and fried food doesn't seem like a particularly clever thing to do.
In the land where you can get a 64oz soda with your fast food, and then fill it up again for the road at no extra cost, it's hardly surprising that people gain weight. The flipside, of course, is that nobody is forced to drink a 64oz soda at gunpoint, and (speaking as a fat person myself) getting fat is almost invariably the result of a long term pattern of eating more calories than your body needs.
ps the freckled people are the chosen ones. Don't eat them. Your God will be displeased and her wrath mighty. Ish.
In fact that's what I'm calling my god: Ish. I'm inventing a religion right now.
But either way, if you're not moving about much and you're already so far into the "morbidly obese" category that you could lose half your body weight and still be morbidly obese, eating your own weight in popcorn and fried food doesn't seem like a particularly clever thing to do.
Sorry, that probly was a bit ranty, but the fact is, nobody wants to be fat. Being fat is rubbish. I hate being fat, and I'm only quite fat, not very fat. If you're very fat, or very very fat, then that's very very rubbish. Nobody wants to be as fat as that.Yeah it did seem a bit ranty but... your second and third paras are putting some detail on what Contango and ian were saying earlier. That we need to stop making excuses as a society and look at things like the easy availability of 64oz sodas.
It's just much harder to eat real food in sensible quantities these days, because we've got 'food' pushed at us from every quarter, and our culture is built around 'food', rather than nourishment for daily living.
I think you can be addicted to food, in the same way as alcohol. Eating too much of certain foods gives you an addictive rush and you get caught in a spiral of addictive eating that's incredibly difficult to get out of. We're surrounded by addictive foods that press all the WOW!!! buttons in our brains (which are hardwired for times of scarcity), and people make massive profits out of those foods, and meanwhile we're deskilled in eating simply and wholesomely, and our bodies don't even recognise real hunger any more, and food means so much more than nourishment. It means family, and sociability, and love, and control, and guilt, and lack of control, and weakness, and discipline, and glamour, and it's a great way to drown negative emotions, drowning them in nasty cheap chocolate and pies, for the same reason people drink alcohol to numb the pain.
It's not simple! Look at a fat person. Do they like being fat? If the answer was simple, do you think they'd still be fat?
Sorry, that probly was a bit ranty, but the fact is, nobody wants to be fat. Being fat is rubbish. I hate being fat, and I'm only quite fat, not very fat. If you're very fat, or very very fat, then that's very very rubbish. Nobody wants to be as fat as that.Yeah it did seem a bit ranty but... your second and third paras are putting some detail on what Contango and ian were saying earlier. That we need to stop making excuses as a society and look at things like the easy availability of 64oz sodas.
It's just much harder to eat real food in sensible quantities these days, because we've got 'food' pushed at us from every quarter, and our culture is built around 'food', rather than nourishment for daily living.
I think you can be addicted to food, in the same way as alcohol. Eating too much of certain foods gives you an addictive rush and you get caught in a spiral of addictive eating that's incredibly difficult to get out of. We're surrounded by addictive foods that press all the WOW!!! buttons in our brains (which are hardwired for times of scarcity), and people make massive profits out of those foods, and meanwhile we're deskilled in eating simply and wholesomely, and our bodies don't even recognise real hunger any more, and food means so much more than nourishment. It means family, and sociability, and love, and control, and guilt, and lack of control, and weakness, and discipline, and glamour, and it's a great way to drown negative emotions, drowning them in nasty cheap chocolate and pies, for the same reason people drink alcohol to numb the pain.
It's not simple! Look at a fat person. Do they like being fat? If the answer was simple, do you think they'd still be fat?
The cheapest food is often the worst food. There are links between poverty and fatness and mental health too.
We could also think about working on causes of poor mental health, poverty etc! It's not just as simple as "the food is there", it is as much about the complexities of why. Judgement just doesn't help.I read somewhere that 1 in 4 people suffer mental illness at some point in their lives, but it sometimes seems to me that probably 3/4 of us are "mentally not as well as we could be" most of the time (and that that has an expression in poor physical health, among other stuff).
ps the freckled people are the chosen ones.
Oh and freckles. I like freckles.
It's not simple! Look at a fat person. Do they like being fat? If the answer was simple, do you think they'd still be fat?
I am currently eating some beer (IPA) flavour pickles to get me in the mood for pub o'clock. They're very good. Brooklyn Brine apparently, for some reason in M&S. Kosher. I presume there's a lot in Judaism about pickles. God, it would seem, is never without a jar of pickle to snack on. If you're shopping around a religion and you like hats and pickles, it seems the most natural home. Maybe I should start my own religion that's just about hats and pickles, and no other baggage.
Oh and freckles. I like freckles.
I saw those IPA pickles a while ago, are they *really* that good?
Just by-the-by, but not one is 'blaming' people for being fat. But really, if you're fat then the only person who can change that is yourself. As both individuals and a society we have to accept that. Sure, there are many culprits and reasons, but if we hide behind excuses, create an environment where everything else is to blame, then there's no reason for anyone to shoulder that responsibility for their own health. Things will only get worse. And yes, we need a proper public health initiative that brings everything to the table. I'm not optimistic that any current flavour of government will step up to that, not when it involves everything from urban planning to diet. But that's not an excuse, if you're not happy with the way you are, then you're the only person who can change that. It has to start with the individual.
You need JustEat.
Men will bring hot food to your door. No, honestly, it's a thing.
I heard an amazing statistic last week. Type 2 Diabetes treatment costs 10% of the NHS budget and the spend is predicted to nearly double over the next 25 years.
That is roughly double the cost to the NHS of smoking related illnesses.
You need JustEat.
Men will bring hot food to your door. No, honestly, it's a thing.
I suggested hungryhouse.co.uk to Wow when he was home alone and believe this was successful.
Online grocery shopping suits me fine too. I can refer to my shopping list whilst clicking on my selections without having trolleys ram my calves and hearing whiny kids.
Arranging your slaves online is a 21st century luxury.
Ian, please can I have a list of what's in your gin cupboard? Enquiring minds need to know.
There's worse, I know a lady who, under the liberation of liquor, confessed that a previous boyfriend had touched her more delicate tropical regions after similar. I think that was possibly the point he became previous.BTDT
There's worse things than wrists…
Washing dishes by hand, without wearing gloves, is the best way of getting nasty/pungent substances of the paws IME, if they are water-slouble
Soak your hands and/or love bobbits in a bucket of acetonitrile or aprotic polar solvent of choice (not DMSO as it makes your tongue taste funny after you touch it).
There's worse things than wrists, I once sliced up a big handful of peppers for some fissile assembly of ingredients and then with a brief rinse of my hands decided then was a good time to remove my contact lenses. It really wasn't a good time.
There's worse, I know a lady who, under the liberation of liquor, confessed that a previous boyfriend had touched her more delicate tropical regions after similar. I think that was possibly the point he became previous. There's probably an entire sexual subculture of people pepper-spraying their love bobbits that I don't want to know about.
Of course, it seems a rite of passage for men to do similar with their penis. Possibly because boys are always tomfooling down there (one hopes not so much in the kitchen, though perhaps that's how Little Chef came to be known as little). I confess I've avoided this fate (both manhandling myself in the kitchen and peppering my penis) and long may such good fortune endure.
There's worse things than wrists…
I like Super Chili, because it's available as a growing plant and has a good flavour. It's rated at 50,000 Scoville Units, so it's a bit frisky.
Bend OR is big enough to support a divided highway section of US-97 anna large branch of Target anna Volvo dealership so why the actual fuck is the nearest branch of Pizza Hut nearly twenty sodding miles away? Grrr!
#firstworldproblem
Bend OR is big enough to support a divided highway section of US-97 anna large branch of Target anna Volvo dealership so why the actual fuck is the nearest branch of Pizza Hut nearly twenty sodding miles away? Grrr!
#firstworldproblem
They call this part of BC the Sunshine Coast. Ha fucking Ha.
They call this part of BC the Sunshine Coast. Ha fucking Ha.
The sun does shine on that coast. Just not that part of that coast.
As someone who once had to be rescued from life as a bridge troll on the Canada-US border, I'm always scared. It's what happens when you get caught between two sets of people who like to dress up in uniforms. Unless it's a cosplay sex game, in which case I imagine there's a larger dry cleaning bill and less bureaucracy.
A friend and I once drove down to Point Roberts and spent a happy fifteen minutes jumping back and forth over the US-Canada border. I declared war on Canada on behalf of the US with a pre-emptive barrage of pine cones. She then kicked dirt over the yellow kerbstone into the US. Canadian dirt. Things escalated from there, as wars so often do, to become known as the Battle of the 49th Parallel. Fortunately no border guards stumbled across two people pelting one another with pine cones and acorns across an international border as I'm sure there are international statutes about that sort of thing. Unfortunately, after taking an acorn in the eye, the US had to cede victory to a rather smug Canadian, and forever there will remain a little bit more Canadian dirt in US territory.
They call this part of BC the Sunshine Coast. Ha fucking Ha.
The sun does shine on that coast. Just not that part of that coast.
Presumably it only shines on the uninhabited bits?
Emily the SatNav claimed that Squamish was two metres below sea level; my new chum Ursula said "Oh, yes, they just had a big flood there!" so Emily may even have been right.
Now I can't stop eating! How does that work? From not hungry to unsatiable in one easy step?
Ah, Stork Margarine. I think that was fish oil and petroleum industry biproducts. As students used to liberally butter slabs of fat white toast and apply posters to the wall. Rumours of its use as a sexual lubricant are, I hope, unfounded. But needs must as needs want.
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?
Ah, Stork Margarine. I think that was fish oil and petroleum industry biproducts. As students used to liberally butter slabs of fat white toast and apply posters to the wall. Rumours of its use as a sexual lubricant are, I hope, unfounded. But needs must as needs want.
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?
The aubergine is a fine beast, whether prepared in Indian, middle eastern or Provençal style. Mmm, aubergines.
The aubergine is a fine beast, whether prepared in Indian, middle eastern or Provençal style. Mmm, aubergines.
Amen to that ... As a Briton of Indian origin, I can vouch for the fact that the Aubergine is highly underrated in the West.
Look up Baingan Bharta and give it a try. Exquisitely simple ... exceedingly tasty !!! :D
http://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/baingan-bharta-recipe-punjabi-baingan-bharta-recipe
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?I am very much in favour, in curries or tagines or imam bayildi.
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?When thinly sliced and fried in a thin coating of batter they are thing of wonder*, likewise when turned into a dip having first been char-grilled they are sublime then again as ballast in mousaka and briam (rather like ratatouille) they do a first rate job, but I can take 'em or leave 'em when they're served as papoutsakia.
My bold.On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?When thinly sliced and fried in a thin coating of batter they are thing of wonder*, likewise when turned into a dip having first been char-grilled they are sublime then again as ballast in mousaka and briam (rather like ratatouille) they do a first rate job, but I can take 'em or leave 'em when they're served as papoutsakia.
*Knock fried** bread and, or spam fritters into a cocked hat. Hoh yus.
**Frying. The _only_ way to prepare food _properly_.
On other matters, aubergines. Where does the jury stand on aubergines?
As a Son of York I ought to be in favour of them but in reality they don't do anything that can't be done more cheaply with the Humble Potato.
The aubergine is a fine beast, whether prepared in Indian, middle eastern or Provençal style. Mmm, aubergines.
Amen to that ... As a Briton of Indian origin, I can vouch for the fact that the Aubergine is highly underrated in the West.
Look up Baingan Bharta and give it a try. Exquisitely simple ... exceedingly tasty !!! :D
http://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/baingan-bharta-recipe-punjabi-baingan-bharta-recipe
Luckily I managed to marry a Bengali, a people whom do seem to understand how to fettle an aubergine to the highest culinary heights!
I remain unconvinced, they always seem a bit bland and spongy and are usually found lying flaccid in a puddle of sauce and oil. The vegetable that didn't try. I mean they look like they might be exciting in the shop but they're all a bit of a let down once you've cooked them. The only way to get any flavour in them seems to be marinate for six weeks, set fire to them or marry a Bengali. Possibly all three. Broccoli is easier.
This is the naked truth
This is the light
There's only one place left to go...
Aubergine (ba ba ba ba-da bah, ba ba ba ba ba da ba-da...)
Aubergines are fucking hideous.
You cannot fry Aubergines. They soak oil up and should really be used for oil spills at sea.That's part of the point of aubergines. They are the vegetable equivalent of sliced white bread; it only exists as a sponge-like carrier for fat.
Aubergines are fucking hideous.
Can you even buy proper margarine - the stuff made from boiled cows and Chemicals - any more? Everything seems to be either heavily-mutated olive oil or variations on the theme of not-butter.Not sure. The thing returned to the bottom of the fridge list as its ingredients: vegetable oils, buttermilk, cream. So almost butter but not quite. I only bought it cos it was the cheapest, but I think I did spot Stork on the stupormarket shelves.*
(http://www.auberginerecipes.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/aubergine-preparing.jpg)
Tesco Finest candyfloss grapes. :sick: :sick: :sick:
The key to a non-greasy aubergine is to char slices on a ridged griddle pan. Then chuck it in a sauce to finish it off. Or in a sandwich with harissa and tahini. Fuck yeah.
That said... berenjenas fritas con miel is possibly the best tapa EVER. If it's with proper miel that is. Although I have a weird liking for that treacly black shit cheap restaurants use.
Aubergines are hideous? Excuse me?
(http://www.auberginerecipes.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/aubergine-preparing.jpg)
Mmm... yum.
Aubergines are hideous? Excuse me?
(http://www.auberginerecipes.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/aubergine-preparing.jpg)
Mmm... yum.
Aubergines are hideous? Excuse me?
(http://www.auberginerecipes.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/aubergine-preparing.jpg)
Mmm... yum.
I didn't say they look hideous, I said they are hideous. That is one of the problems I have with aubergines, they are incredibly beautiful to look at, they promise so much, I expect waves of supreme taste and texture under that glossy purple coat but they deliver no taste except the grease they are cooked in and have all the texture of a freshly laid cow pat.
I discovered this at a very young age but with marmalade-making being seasonal there were insufficient supplies to last the entire year chiz.Seville Oranges for Marmalade-molishing can be frozen without detriment to the resulting preserve. This factoid was discovered by my Mum many years ago after bemoaning the short duration of the above fruit's availability on Cambridge market stalls, and on noting how much space her freezer really had.
I think the honorable Clare has it. All promise and no delivery.
Pumpkins. Hmm. I've never been a big fan of squashes once you pass the courgette barrier (I love courgettes, though not in the sex way, which given their shape I feel I should emphasise). Pumpkins only taste good in pumpkin pie with plenty of ice cream, in savoury recipes I find them pointlessly bland (see also the butternut squash). Shooting them is probably a good idea.
They have vegetarians in West Virginia? :o
Yep, suck them heads. It's a thing. Everyone slurping out those crispy little craniums like short-changed zombies ... dismembering a lobster when splat, guts down my front ... bits of crab everywhere, legs, claws, bits of shell
They have vegetarians in West Virginia? :o
I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
I've just been out to a leaving 'do' at a restaurant in Darlo.I have tried to find Darlo on the map in order to avoid it but to no avail. Is it an abbreviation of Darlington? In which case it was already on the list of places not to go to.
It was bloody disgusting. The service was non-existent - I'm still waiting for more parmesan on my pasta, and for my coffee, and I've been home twenty minutes. And the seat I had was directly under a freezing cold draught which stank of fag smoke and toilets, in a kind of nasty cycle of stench. There was a cobweb a foot long directly over my head as well.
The best thing you could say about my food was that it was edible. It's left a kind of aftertaste, in a bad way.
The girl who'd organised it would have been mortified if I'd said anything, so I didn't, but really. Yuck.
Name and shame, Ruthie.
Like so much of the country north of Waitrose.
The importation of fresh curry leaves into EU is now banned. >:( >:( Still, at least the risk of edible greenery based jihad is reduced. ::-)Waaaaaaah? Why?
The British economy would, of course, collapse if all our citrus orchards were destroyed.It would have a negative impact on Britain because we are part of the EU (at the moment) and thus if any of the citrus growing nations suffer then we all would suffer. I am struggling to see how curry leaves could transmit the pathogen though.
You are right. There is now a very handy map of Waitrose locations all over the country for the benefit of travelling Londoners. That must be a boon.Like so much of the country north of Waitrose.
IIRC they have been pressing north since the big supermarket sell-off of the mid-noughties and have successfully invaded Scotland.
Name and shame, Ruthie.
Foffano's, Market Square, Darlington.
I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
The British economy would, of course, collapse if all our citrus orchards were destroyed.
I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
Those aubergines are shite. I had them recently and they were undercooked rubbish.
I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
Those aubergines are shite. I had them recently and they were undercooked rubbish.
Seriously though, how much do you have to cook them before they taste of anything but meh? They taste like all aubergines. Rubbery disks of disappointment, floundering in a sauce that knows it's not up to the task of making it all worthwhile. Potted despair.
I'm going to ask Jamie Oliver to work with me on banning them.
I only drink advocaat on special occasions, I think my bottle dates back to the early 2000s and lives in the cupboard of random cocktail ingredients (you know, the place you keep the Blue Bols).
Made a madeira, cream & roquefort sauce to liven up the Inlaw Paw's sempiternal hamburger at lunch. He mechanically splattered Heinz barbecue sauce all over it before even reaching for the salt. :facepalm:As an inlaw, I think I would splatter sauce over any of the SIL's pretensions as a matter of course. What possessed you to think that a burger could be improved with the addition of such a sauce? Unless of course you were working on the grand plan of elimination via heart attack.
Go Turkish for Imam biyaldi. Will blow your mind.
Rant at something worthwhile, like dragonfruit- look amazing and taste of absolutely zero.
Made a madeira, cream & roquefort sauce to liven up the Inlaw Paw's sempiternal hamburger at lunch. He mechanically splattered Heinz barbecue sauce all over it before even reaching for the salt. :facepalm:As an inlaw, I think I would splatter sauce over any of the SIL's pretensions as a matter of course. What possessed you to think that a burger could be improved with the addition of such a sauce? Unless of course you were working on the grand plan of elimination via heart attack.
I tried aubergine again (in Leon, they've disappointingly discontinued the peas). Clare is still winning. Gave them away after I'd licked the sauce off them. Just rubbery meh.
In the great battle, round one goes to the avocado which comparatively sparkled as much as a bland green veg can.
Those aubergines are shite. I had them recently and they were undercooked rubbish.
Seriously though, how much do you have to cook them before they taste of anything but meh? They taste like all aubergines. Rubbery disks of disappointment, floundering in a sauce that knows it's not up to the task of making it all worthwhile. Potted despair.
I'm going to ask Jamie Oliver to work with me on banning them.
I only drink advocaat on special occasions, I think my bottle dates back to the early 2000s and lives in the cupboard of random cocktail ingredients (you know, the place you keep the Blue Bols).
I just purchased a fine luncheon of snickers bars - 4 for a £1 deal in Tesco. Imagine my disgust when on opening the generously proportioned outer wrapping I discovered the actual bars are tiny! This is yet another example of Tescos losing the plot. I will in future buy the imitation mars bars in Aldi.
Perhaps we do agree on the advocaat issue, because I also drink it only on special occasions. I'm thinking the 10th anniversary of my death would be the first such special occasion ever to occur.Never drunk Advocaat, but I made my own eggnog at Christmas last year and it was FAB. I'm a sucker for spicy, alcofrolic beverages, though... I've got some spiced sloe rum happily infusing in the depths of my cellar. :thumbsup:
I bought mature cheddar instead of extra strong super mature vintage veteran. It is only fit for toasted sandwiches, and barely for that.I feel your pain. No1Daughter is now the resident shopper, in lieu of paying board, and for 2 weeks now has bought lighter cheddar.
I bought mature cheddar instead of extra strong super mature vintage veteran. It is only fit for toasted sandwiches, and barely for that.I feel your pain. No1Daughter is now the resident shopper, in lieu of paying board, and for 2 weeks now has bought lighter cheddar.
I fear for your daughter's soul. She needs stern action now, before she treads further on the road to margarine.I bought mature cheddar instead of extra strong super mature vintage veteran. It is only fit for toasted sandwiches, and barely for that.I feel your pain. No1Daughter is now the resident shopper, in lieu of paying board, and for 2 weeks now has bought lighter cheddar.
I don't know, when I die I want to be wrapped in Dairylea cheese slices and lightly toasted.
If my grandma wasn't long-dead, you could have sent the boablet to her for re-education. My between-meals treat at her house was a slab of decent cheddar, spread thickly with butter and dipped in sugar.I feel your pain. No1Daughter is now the resident shopper, in lieu of paying board, and for 2 weeks now has bought lighter cheddar.I fear for your daughter's soul. She needs stern action now, before she treads further on the road to margarine.
I know this is a Huge Fearing Whatsisname inspired story but, what a fucking waste of good, edible comestibles- just cos they fail the 'catwalk vegetable' testThat is absolutely effing ridiculous.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34647454
I know this is a Huge Fearing Whatsisname inspired story but, what a fucking waste of good, edible comestibles- just cos they fail the 'catwalk vegetable' testThat is absolutely effing ridiculous.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34647454
I know this is a Huge Fearing Whatsisname inspired story but, what a fucking waste of good, edible comestibles- just cos they fail the 'catwalk vegetable' testThat is absolutely effing ridiculous.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34647454
When buying fruit and veg in other countries in Europe, it is quite remarkable for
(a) not looking perfect; and
(b) tasting at least 100 times better.
I don't know, when I die I want to be wrapped in Dairylea cheese slices and lightly toasted.
Plastic cheese has its uses, dirtying up burgers etc. There is no excuse for lighter cheddar or any low fat cheese. Yuck.
Usually the better taste is an accidental result of the veg/fruit having been picked for ripeness or aroma. Or being a specific variety that tastes good rather than looking cosmetically perfect.I know this is a Huge Fearing Whatsisname inspired story but, what a fucking waste of good, edible comestibles- just cos they fail the 'catwalk vegetable' testThat is absolutely effing ridiculous.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-34647454
When buying fruit and veg in other countries in Europe, it is quite remarkable for
(a) not looking perfect; and
(b) tasting at least 100 times better.
I am all for misshapen veg but I dont see how it can taste 100x better.
Hmm, crisp sandwiches in general.
Hmm, crisp sandwiches in general. I know there will be those of you who swear by the Monster Munch sandwich (and I'm not saying a pickled onion Monster Munch sandwich is a bad thing) but Walkers Ready Salted between buttered bread. Oh my. That satisfying crunch as you squish the top of the sandwich down. That's the sound of my childhood, that is.
Hmm, crisp sandwiches in general. I know there will be those of you who swear by the Monster Munch sandwich (and I'm not saying a pickled onion Monster Munch sandwich is a bad thing) but Walkers Ready Salted between buttered bread. Oh my. That satisfying crunch as you squish the top of the sandwich down. That's the sound of my childhood, that is.
Hmm, crisp sandwiches in general. I know there will be those of you who swear by the Monster Munch sandwich (and I'm not saying a pickled onion Monster Munch sandwich is a bad thing) but Walkers Ready Salted between buttered bread. Oh my. That satisfying crunch as you squish the top of the sandwich down. That's the sound of my childhood, that is.
To my mind it is being a helper at cub camp, so similar. With a sugar sandwich for afters.
... Walkers Ready Salted between buttered bread. Oh my. That satisfying crunch as you squish the top of the sandwich down. That's the sound of my childhood, that is.
Ack and, moreover, ptui! What kind of a sillybollocks puts fucking cloves in with rice :sick:Me, if I'm making pilau.
Pshaw! It's like eating twigs. Do I look like a giraffe?
Giraffes eat leaves. It's ducks that eat twigs.
Giraffes eat leaves. It's ducks that eat twigs.
Ducks eat bread, in spite of the best efforts of some bunch of dogoodniks trying to persuade people to feed them with things that are not bread, like sweet cron, peas, coal, Lewis Hamilton ect ect.
Pshaw! It's like eating twigs. Do I look like a giraffe?
[
My childhood abounds with Deth Sandwiches. There is your perennial favourite the aforementioned crisp sandwich. For variety there is the condensed milk sandwich. The alluded to sugar sandwich- granulated, brown, demerera depending on the mood and the tomato ketchup sandwich.
Why am I still alive? I didn't think my Nan had it in for me.
Perhaps we do agree on the advocaat issue, because I also drink it only on special occasions. I'm thinking the 10th anniversary of my death would be the first such special occasion ever to occur.Never drunk Advocaat, but I made my own eggnog at Christmas last year and it was FAB. I'm a sucker for spicy, alcofrolic beverages, though... I've got some spiced sloe rum happily infusing in the depths of my cellar. :thumbsup:
[
My childhood abounds with Deth Sandwiches. There is your perennial favourite the aforementioned crisp sandwich. For variety there is the condensed milk sandwich. The alluded to sugar sandwich- granulated, brown, demerera depending on the mood and the tomato ketchup sandwich.
Why am I still alive? I didn't think my Nan had it in for me.
Mine used to feed me dripping butties! Nom!
Hmmmm... Beef dripping garlic butter (http://www.liverpoolconfidential.co.uk/food-and-drink/modern-european/restaurant-review-cedar-gin-fire) :P
I have a sneaky suspicion this is yet another way of appearing interesting for insecure narcissists, but maybe there is something in it.
.
.
.
I wonder if perhaps I ought to be gluten intolerant too.
Fantastic link. Like an instruction manual for life today. Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool. I guess the problems come when two gluten intolerants attend the same meal. The stakes would need to be raised to coeliac level then. Or Crones or something.
Aldi Gin and Tonic Crisps
Yuck where's the gin
Fantastic link. Like an instruction manual for life today. Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool. I guess the problems come when two gluten intolerants attend the same meal. The stakes would need to be raised to coeliac level then. Or Crones or something.
You are right! I knew a woman who had crowns disease in the 80s and she couldn't eat loads of things, so I assumed it was a food related problem. Lazy thinking on my part.Fantastic link. Like an instruction manual for life today. Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool. I guess the problems come when two gluten intolerants attend the same meal. The stakes would need to be raised to coeliac level then. Or Crones or something.
Crohn's completely unrelated to diet.
Unless, of course you meant old ladies with crooked nose and warty faces, in which case, carry on.
You are right! I knew a woman who had crowns disease in the 80s and she couldn't eat loads of things, so I assumed it was a food related problem. Lazy thinking on my part.Fantastic link. Like an instruction manual for life today. Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool. I guess the problems come when two gluten intolerants attend the same meal. The stakes would need to be raised to coeliac level then. Or Crones or something.
Crohn's completely unrelated to diet.
Unless, of course you meant old ladies with crooked nose and warty faces, in which case, carry on.
Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool.Please excuse me if I find this about as funny as a kick in the balls.
I think it depends on the Crohns. I have some students with it who get triggered by some food and not others and other students who say it's separate from food triggers for them. Crohns is so variable, some people get theirs well treated/controlled and others don't and it can change at any time :/
AFAIK IBS has NEVER caused the death of anyone, though.
TBH, I don't think dietary fads are particularly funny either.
I think it depends on the Crohns. I have some students with it who get triggered by some food and not others and other students who say it's separate from food triggers for them. Crohns is so variable, some people get theirs well treated/controlled and others don't and it can change at any time :/
...and some of us are on scary drugs to control it.
Over the years I have heard MANY misconception about Crohn's, the most common of which is "Oh, that's sort of like IBS, isn't it?" Well, in so far as it can cause a painful stomach, yes. AFAIK IBS has NEVER caused the death of anyone, though. Neither do they, usually, deal with IBS with a bowel re-section, or immune supressant drugs.
Fully appreciate your point - I guess gluten intolerance is a bit like OCD, in that it is common now to hear people claiming to be a bit bit OCD as if it were an interesting facet of their character - which I know pisses the hell out of actual sufferers for whom it can be a life of misery. Real conditions get trivialised when they are adopted as social accessories.Gluten intolerance is indeed a state of mind, and as such a valuable social tool.Please excuse me if I find this about as funny as a kick in the balls.
Some of us can't eat gluten. Some of us have been poked, prodded and tested using science and informed that we need to cease eating anything containing wheat or similar grains.
Some of us would love to be able to eat a takeaway pizza, buy cake, pastries, even a Ginster's pasty.
Better that than suffer from IDS.
Better that than suffer from IDS.
¿Qué? ???
I think it depends on the Crohns. I have some students with it who get triggered by some food and not others and other students who say it's separate from food triggers for them. Crohns is so variable, some people get theirs well treated/controlled and others don't and it can change at any time :/
...and some of us are on scary drugs to control it.
Over the years I have heard MANY misconception about Crohn's, the most common of which is "Oh, that's sort of like IBS, isn't it?" Well, in so far as it can cause a painful stomach, yes. AFAIK IBS has NEVER caused the death of anyone, though. Neither do they, usually, deal with IBS with a bowel re-section, or immune supressant drugs.
AFAIK IBS has NEVER caused the death of anyone, though.
Suicide maybe, but that tends to be self-limiting by lack of lethal objects in arm's reach of the toilet.
None of these conditions are funny.
TBH, I don't think dietary fads are particularly funny either.
My Dad and barakta are seriously lactose intolerant.
Obtaining Lactofree milk is very easy for a lazy online shopper.
I don't do much Clever Cookery so there's just all the other milk-free stuffs they can eat.
Simples.
I appreciate things would be different if I did Clever Cookery.
I'd probably just substitute Lactofree for ordinary cow juice throughout.
Sure, if someone has a genuine requirement and they're worth inviting to dinner then they're worth making an effort to make sure they can actually eat dinner.
If someone just feels like being excessively picky this week I don't necessarily feel like making a special journey or placing a special order and paying delivery charges just to humour them.
It seems to correlate strongly with belief in alternative healing practices, homeopathy, and hanging around Holland & Barrett stores.
Holland and Barrett isn't a real healthfood store, it's national multiple chain, disguising itself behind a thin veneer of healthiness. I grew up being dragged to a healthfood store called Arjuna in Cambridge, now that's a real healthfood store. It has a distinctive smell that gives me nightmares to this day. It's all tie dyes, lentils and pulses, with badly photocopied leaflets on a wide range of crackpot ideas.I have their cookbook somewhere. Had some decent recipes for a broke no longer a student type.
Holland and Barrett isn't a real healthfood store, it's national multiple chain, disguising itself behind a thin veneer of healthiness. I grew up being dragged to a healthfood store called Arjuna in Cambridge, now that's a real healthfood store. It has a distinctive smell that gives me nightmares to this day. It's all tie dyes, lentils and pulses, with badly photocopied leaflets on a wide range of crackpot ideas.
Sure, if someone has a genuine requirement and they're worth inviting to dinner then they're worth making an effort to make sure they can actually eat dinner.
If someone just feels like being excessively picky this week I don't necessarily feel like making a special journey or placing a special order and paying delivery charges just to humour them.
How do you tell the difference, thobut?
See also: Canterbury Wholefoods (http://www.canterbury-wholefoods.co.uk/).
That smell. Mysterious grains. Newspaper clippings about bees and homoeopathy. Re-using carrier bags before it was cool. Staff who look like they're going to be round your house with pitchforks and flaming torches if they discover you eat meat. Somehow I survived a lynching, probably because of my lesbian shoes.
They moved to new premises at one point and lost the 'shopfitting by freecycle' aesthetic, but gained a cafe that doesn't serve anything I'd class as food.
See also: Canterbury Wholefoods (http://www.canterbury-wholefoods.co.uk/).A propos of which, I had occasion today to introduce a world-famous published author and distinguished university professor* to the phrase 'lesbian tea'. Unfortunately we never got as far as lesbian biscuits.
That smell. Mysterious grains. Newspaper clippings about bees and homoeopathy. Re-using carrier bags before it was cool. Staff who look like they're going to be round your house with pitchforks and flaming torches if they discover you eat meat. Somehow I survived a lynching, probably because of my lesbian shoes.
They moved to new premises at one point and lost the 'shopfitting by freecycle' aesthetic, but gained a cafe that doesn't serve anything I'd class as food.
See also: Canterbury Wholefoods (http://www.canterbury-wholefoods.co.uk/).Back in the 70s I was a squatter in central London - as one was in this days. A whole foods shop opened selling pulses from recycled tea chests and barrels so I visited to get some red kidney beans. I still remember the look on the guys face as he asked what I was intending t do with the large sack of beans. I said 'Oh they are great with a load of mince and onion and chile'. I think he would have refused to sell me the beans if only he had known in advance.
That smell. Mysterious grains. Newspaper clippings about bees and homoeopathy. Re-using carrier bags before it was cool. Staff who look like they're going to be round your house with pitchforks and flaming torches if they discover you eat meat. Somehow I survived a lynching, probably because of my lesbian shoes.
They moved to new premises at one point and lost the 'shopfitting by freecycle' aesthetic, but gained a cafe that doesn't serve anything I'd class as food.
See also: Canterbury Wholefoods (http://www.canterbury-wholefoods.co.uk/).Back in the 70s I was a squatter in central London - as one was in this days. A whole foods shop opened selling pulses from recycled tea chests and barrels so I visited to get some red kidney beans. I still remember the look on the guys face as he asked what I was intending t do with the large sack of beans. I said 'Oh they are great with a load of mince and onion and chile'. I think he would have refused to sell me the beans if only he had known in advance.
That smell. Mysterious grains. Newspaper clippings about bees and homoeopathy. Re-using carrier bags before it was cool. Staff who look like they're going to be round your house with pitchforks and flaming torches if they discover you eat meat. Somehow I survived a lynching, probably because of my lesbian shoes.
They moved to new premises at one point and lost the 'shopfitting by freecycle' aesthetic, but gained a cafe that doesn't serve anything I'd class as food.
French Golden Delicious?
French Pale Green Bland more like >:(
French Golden Delicious?
French Pale Green Bland more like >:(
Do people still eat these?
It must be decades since one passed my lips. They're a 'Taste of the Seventies' IMHO...
French Golden Delicious?
French Pale Green Bland more like >:(
French Golden Delicious?
French Pale Green Bland more like >:(
The French ones have always been crap. The ones from South Africa used to be fantastic.
Supermarket apples are naff in general, no matter what they claim. We were wandering around Kent the other year when we stumbled across a shop on an apple farm and they had several varieties that simply don't make it to the shops. I have never eaten so many apples and they were in a completely different league to anything I've ever bought off the high street.
I was disappointed to see that it looks nothing like a Dalek.
Guardian smelliest cheese article (http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2004/nov/26/research.highereducation)
I can't believe that Brebis is not on that list. That's the worst smelling cheese ever. Edit- probably just the stuff we had on Corsica.
... it was probably moments past a point and oozing on the plate, a delicious, meaty, pungent, barnyardy, dirty-socky, floral, grassy cheese, and I loved it, but there was no denying that smelling it up close was like napalming your nostrils.
There are plenty of jokes about lutefisk being classified as a weapon of mass destruction. I think it was what killed Stanley Tucci's character utterly to DETH in "Fortitude".
I tell you, they all smell like air freshener compared to Icelandic fermented shark. I brought some back and left it in the office for 10 minutes open - and cleared the place. I love foul cheese but the shark was beyond me.
There is apparently a norwegian tinned rotted fish that is illegal to open let alone consume indoors.
...and also some equally hideous-sounding sheep-related culinary atrocity...
Yeah, whatever happened to round white plates?
Why do I keep getting food on a chopping board, in a mini metal bucket, on a fecking slate....
I tell you, they all smell like air freshener compared to Icelandic fermented shark. I brought some back and left it in the office for 10 minutes open - and cleared the place. I love foul cheese but the shark was beyond me.
There is apparently a norwegian tinned rotted fish that is illegal to open let alone consume indoors.
There are plenty of jokes about lutefisk being classified as a weapon of mass destruction. I think it was what killed Stanley Tucci's character utterly to DETH in "Fortitude".
Cadbury's Creme Eggs. On sale. Yesterday. Effing ridiculous. That is all.
in between amusing myself by watching people trying to park their main urban battle tanks as close to the entrance as possible (I've moved from anecdata, it's true that car size correlates with the need to park as close to the doors as possible)
I also illicitly refilled my coffee
I remember once, in suburban Virginia, being offered a lift from Chilis to my hotel. On the other side of the modest restaurant parking lot. I was only in Chilis because it was the nearest source of beer-related beverages. I'm like seriously, I can see my room. And yes, I said it like a teenage girl. Wither under my contempt. And she's like You sure? Yes, I am sure I can walk 50 yards. Even American ones. I could do it in high heels and I'm 100% USDA approved boy counterbalanced with three pints of non-domestic draft. She wouldn't, alas, loan me her shoes. They won't fit, she declared. Like whatever, Cinderella. Actually, martinis might have been involved. I think I had to eat her car keys. Probably one of the better desserts I've had at Chilis.
But this is Surrey, and it's quite a spectacle. There's two strategies. One, favoured by Audi drivers, is simply to stop by the doors and wait for a space to become free. The other (BMWs, Mercedes, the godforsaken) is to orbit the car park like they're looking for a spot anywhere but they're not. They want that spot, right by the doors, and they'll orbit this car park until the sun sparks out if that is what it takes. Then they find a spot. The fun is only just starting. Because British car parks weren't built with cars the size of well-fed brontosaurus dumps in mind. Watching these idiots try to park in such spaces is the seventh funniest thing in the known universe. In. Out. In. A little to the left. No, no, to the left. It's like a Martin Amis description of sex.
There's thread somewhere herein called 'urethral milking' which I was horribly, horribly disappointed to learn wasn't a sex thing I could silkily insert into casual conversation. Instead it's a practical technique for men to empty the more obscure avenues and cul-de-sacs of their willy wonkerish indoor plumping into a toilet bowl rather than their underpants. Anyway, any number of prostate problems can be cured by a hour or two in a NYC diner. There's enough weak coffee refills to ensure any man can probably piss hard enough to hit Pennsylvania. I hit the Liberty Bell from 24th and 3rd the other year.
Kosher. Gluten Free. Paleo. I see it now. I have a pitch for Fox. When Diets Collide.
Considering the USAnians pride themselves on their coffee, most of what is available for public consumption is rank enow that cheapskate BRITISH horriblemarket own-brand is veritable nectar by comparison. You know that coffee made from beans that have passed through the digestive tracts of weasels? The boak advertised as "coffee" in for e.g. USAnian diners, motels, prisons etc. is made from the part of the weasel poo that isn't undigested coffee bean.
(I've moved from anecdata, it's true that car size correlates with the need to park as close to the doors as possible)
Yes, US coffee. It's an abomination. When I took my first steamboat to the Americas I was excited to find a world where coffee didn't appear to come in jars that could readily substitute for Bisto gravy granules (or vice versa). In the US, coffee came in tins and you know you my thoughts on things in tins. Tomorrow's World promised me a future in a can.
I don't know what they do with it. You can empty an entire industrial sized tin of Folgers into your coffeemaker and get out something that looks like it was passed by someone in the late stages of dysentery. They made the water brown. Like bacon, the coffee seems to have gone somewhere. Guantanamo? They've renditioned the flavour. Extraordinary. And then, yes, it sits on the filter machine slowing stewing until there is an actual flavour, just one you'd never want to meet.
Not content with stripping out the low, middle, and high notes – the entire fucking symphony – of flavour they then insist on serving it in buckets big enough to drown the entire bloody orchestra in. A 32 oz coffee? That's like an elephant's bladderful. And probably tastes worse. It ought to be obvious sign of the problem that you need to add artificial flavours. I remember when I first saw that – hazelnut-flavoured creamer – it's a mistake you make once. You may as well get a squirrel to jerk off into your coffee. At least that might taste of hazelnuts.
It has got a bit better in recent years, but there's still the dreaded conference and hotel coffee. Proudly Served by Starbucks. That's my heart taking the express elevator down. I need caffeine. It's important for my mental buoyancy. All I'm doing by drinking that stuff is making my kidneys cry as they desperately try to sieve out a few grains of caffeine.
When I visited Manhattan around 30 years ago, my first visit to the US, I was appalled to discover the coffee was crap. My host explained "we won't pay more than 5c a cup and expect free refills. You get what you (don't) pay for"
I was listening to a discussion between Spanish, Italian, and Ozzies recently on this topic.
The consensus was that it relates to the generation of Italian immigrants.
In the US, the coffee culture came from early Italian immigrants who were pre-espresso, and so non pressurised filter cofee became the norm.
Pressurised brewing came later, and places with newer immigrant populations got the newer superior tech.
Pressurised brewing can extract more of the flavour components than dribbling filter methods, it seems.
America is taken by the Keurig K Cup system, basically one cup disposable filters, to prevent stewed pot coffee. So they are getting more fussy.
America is taken by the Keurig K Cup system, basically one cup disposable filters, to prevent stewed pot coffee. So they are getting more fussy.
I find it hard to discuss coffee with people unless they rank what sort of coffee they like rankings in order of preference when well made:
Turkish coffee (am lazy and will only get in restaurants, basically I like cardamom and sugar)
Filter coffee black (including pour over)
Espresso in milk based drink
Instant
Espresso black
I don't think I've used my (cheap'n'cheerful) espresso machine since I got my Aeropress. It's just so much nicer IMO.
I don't think I've used my (cheap'n'cheerful) espresso machine since I got my Aeropress. It's just so much nicer IMO.
Same.... It's really difficult being enthusiastic when someone offers to treat you with something from their ne*presso machine.
"we've got some lovely vanilla flavoured pods, would you like one?" No. No I wouldn't.
Nespresso lost its appeal when Nestle brought out commercial Nespresso that were a different shape that meant people couldn't half inch capsules from their place of work.
I don't think I've used my (cheap'n'cheerful) espresso machine since I got my Aeropress. It's just so much nicer IMO.
Same.... It's really difficult being enthusiastic when someone offers to treat you with something from their ne*presso machine.
"we've got some lovely vanilla flavoured pods, would you like one?" No. No I wouldn't.
Clooney was brought in to sell Nespresso to the US and UK. Nespresso managed to conquer most of Europe by itself. I haven't been to a hotel in Europe for a couple of years that didn't have a Nespresso in the room. Nespresso is consistently shite and bad for the environment.
*with the exception of the one in Melville, Long Island, which makes me feel like I starring in unshorn episode of Space 1999. I once detailed this in a long explanation to younger female colleague (yes, they're safe, I've been married long enough to find other women a foreign country with unfamiliar customs) and about two hours and four drinks later she's (like) what's Space 1999.
Another two hours and four drinks later she probably regretted asking.
Same.... It's really difficult being enthusiastic when someone offers to treat you with something from their ne*presso machine.On 25/12, at my sister's house, I had to feign delight at being served such slurry. "We got them especially for you, as we know you like good coffee." She'd made an effort, I spose, so it would've been churlish to do anything other than pretend to like it. Except, I'll get the same thing next time I visit.
"we've got some lovely vanilla flavoured pods, would you like one?" No. No I wouldn't.
The thing is, she has my good coffee when she visits me and sees how much time and effort goes into each cup that she declares is 'de-lish' and keenly accepts another cup. Why then, does she think that a nasty little sachet thingy is going to produce a beverage of equal quality? And it's Nestlé. And she reads the Daily Heil.
Same.... It's really difficult being enthusiastic when someone offers to treat you with something from their ne*presso machine.On 25/12, at my sister's house, I had to feign delight at being served such slurry. "We got them especially for you, as we know you like good coffee." She'd made an effort, I spose, so it would've been churlish to do anything other than pretend to like it. Except, I'll get the same thing next time I visit.
"we've got some lovely vanilla flavoured pods, would you like one?" No. No I wouldn't.
The thing is, she has my good coffee when she visits me and sees how much time and effort goes into each cup that she declares is 'de-lish' and keenly accepts another cup. Why then, does she think that a nasty little sachet thingy is going to produce a beverage of equal quality? And it's Nestlé. And she reads the Daily Heil.
It's also possible to find some variations on a coffee theme to be either particularly nice or particularly minging without it turning you into a snob.
Besides, this *is* a rant thread.
It's also possible to find some variations on a coffee theme to be either particularly nice or particularly minging without it turning you into a snob.
Besides, this *is* a rant thread.
Oh god, yes. People who think espresso is The One True Coffee any anything less is watery mud. *eye roll*
Oh dear, no. I don't mix with those amateurs... But there's a fuckload of them about.Oh god, yes. People who think espresso is The One True Coffee any anything less is watery mud. *eye roll*I hate to tell you this, but you've been mixing with pretty amateur coffee snobs if they are telling you this.
Ignoring the two minutes it takes for the machine to warm up, it takes <1 minute to knock out a decent, milky coffee.
Ignoring the two minutes it takes for the machine to warm up, it takes <1 minute to knock out a decent, milky coffee.
I'm glad I can't drink coffee. I might end up as up my own arse as much as all you coffee snobs.
Oh, but this is organic goats milk from a flock reared on virgin grass. And the coffee goes into the milk, not vice-versa, from a height of 93mm.Ignoring the two minutes it takes for the machine to warm up, it takes <1 minute to knock out a decent, milky coffee.
MILKY!!1! You might as well drink horriblemarket own-brand instant if you're going to put that muck in it!
<g,d&r>
Oh, but this is organic goats milk from a flock reared on virgin grass. And the coffee goes into the milk, not vice-versa, from a height of 93mm.Ignoring the two minutes it takes for the machine to warm up, it takes <1 minute to knock out a decent, milky coffee.
MILKY!!1! You might as well drink horriblemarket own-brand instant if you're going to put that muck in it!
<g,d&r>
Wouldn't a shovel be wrought, as opposed to milled? Only asking, like...
Wouldn't a shovel be wrought, as opposed to milled? Only asking, like...
Only inferior non-Jerry-built ha ha shovels :P
Wouldn't a shovel be wrought, as opposed to milled? Only asking, like...
Only inferior non-Jerry-built ha ha shovels :P
I *really* didn't realise that there was such a thing as a ha-ha shovel
I'm glad I can't drink coffee. I might end up as up my own arse as much as all you coffee snobs.
Ignoring the two minutes it takes for the machine to warm up, it takes <1 minute to knock out a decent, milky coffee.
I didn't realise you needed to let a Nespresso warm up.
My old one would stay on all day if left unattended but the new one contends that if the hotplate stays on for more than about two hours the coffee will taste like diesel and therefore to discourage the hapless user from partaking of this brew it will switch off. The only way to override this is to frob the on/off switch before it times out. I do not mind if ittastes like diesela bit stewed and would very much like the stupid machine to take note of my preferences.
Bah!
EU rules say all new coffee machines must have auto switch off hot plates.
Sine the hot plate stews the coffee fairly quickly it's not a bad thing. What you want is a thermos jug instead, keeps the coffee hot without stewing it.
I have a suspicion that elevation of the menial job of making coffee to barista is a product of the surplus of so called graduates with no actual skills or career prospects. This serving working in a caff and serving hot beverages has been made into a career option. Similar has happened with burger flipping and sandwich making.
Exactly. It's possible to like both. I hang around with enough full-on coffee geeks (one of my good friends is a full time barista at an indie coffee place and is about as nerdy about it as some people here are about [obscure bike topic]) but if someone makes me a cup of instant, that's fine too.
I buy my coffee from the station when I'm getting the train – it's an independent place and I'd rather give them my cash than the usual chains. It gives me a good twenty extra minutes in bed and let's me drink the coffee at my leisure on the train rather than having to chug it down and run out the door. Mornings are a stormy ocean, and caffeine is my life raft.
My Monsoon Malabar beans cost £4.50 for 1/2lb. I get about 10-12 cups out of each bag...
Ok, four minutes later and I've found the "beyond lesbian biscuits": http://www.thisisbiscuit.co.uk/contact-us/
Ok, four minutes later and I've found the "beyond lesbian biscuits": http://www.thisisbiscuit.co.uk/contact-us/
I like a good, stiff one...My Monsoon Malabar beans cost £4.50 for 1/2lb. I get about 10-12 cups out of each bag...
Only 10-12 cups? Really?
I buy my coffee from the station when I'm getting the train – it's an independent place and I'd rather give them my cash than the usual chains. It gives me a good twenty extra minutes in bed and let's me drink the coffee at my leisure on the train rather than having to chug it down and run out the door. Mornings are a stormy ocean, and caffeine is my life raft.
Alternatively, set a routine where getting the brew going is an early task then pour into an insulated cup and take it with you. Your coffee, the way you like it at far less expense to yourself. By the end of the year you have probably saved enough money for N+1.
I buy my coffee from the station when I'm getting the train – it's an independent place and I'd rather give them my cash than the usual chains. It gives me a good twenty extra minutes in bed and let's me drink the coffee at my leisure on the train rather than having to chug it down and run out the door. Mornings are a stormy ocean, and caffeine is my life raft.
I buy my coffee from the station when I'm getting the train – it's an independent place and I'd rather give them my cash than the usual chains. It gives me a good twenty extra minutes in bed and let's me drink the coffee at my leisure on the train rather than having to chug it down and run out the door. Mornings are a stormy ocean, and caffeine is my life raft.
Alternatively, set a routine where getting the brew going is an early task then pour into an insulated cup and take it with you. Your coffee, the way you like it at far less expense to yourself. By the end of the year you have probably saved enough money for N+1.
I'd have to be a lot more organised than I am. I'm not allowed to touch anything that involves electricity before 9am. I have to wander around in padded mittens to stop me breaking things (the mug avalanche of 2007 won't be forgotten, at least by my wife it won't, but seriously there's two of us, why do have an entire cupboard full of precariously tessellated mugs?) My travails in the an early morning kitchen are like an Indiana Jones adventure, if Indiana Jones were a lot more clumsy. Plus I'd need to remember to set up coffeebot and ensure she was correctly watered before I go to bed. It wouldn't be the first time I've forgotten to fill the bean hopper or to add water (occasionally both). Truth be told, I have more money than I have time, so lazy options appeal.
It scares me in NYC though because you can't just order coffee. You have to order a convoluted drink perfectly, machine gunning the barista with syllables as you order your nofatlattefrappichinomochabarranowithhalfnhalfandhazlenutsyrupandsplendalukewarmventatogo. Frankly if you can rattle that off at 7am you don't need caffeine.
My Monsoon Malabar beans cost £4.50 for 1/2lb. I get about 10-12 cups out of each bag, so c.35p a cup. Adding the overhead for the machine and the electricity, say 50p a cup for something infinitely better than the mainstream coffee shops offer at >4 times the price. Plus, I actually enjoy the ritual of grinding the beans, tamping them and staring at my naked portafilter bottom as the juices flow. I spose Nescafe would be 10p a cup, but where's the fun (& flavour) in that?Where do you order your cups of coffee from? Your (generous) costings for home coffee come to 85p per cup - If I buy a coffee at the station it is under £2. A freshly-made espresso is loads better than something lukewarm from a thermos.
I think the best one was: do you have things not on the menu? Now that's an opening gambit. The waitress nicely touchéd with a yes and left a nice big stretchy, lazy yawn of silence for the fiend to fall into. We got stuff and we ain't telling you.That's wonderful. ;D
My Monsoon Malabar beans cost £4.50 for 1/2lb. I get about 10-12 cups out of each bag, so c.35p a cup. Adding the overhead for the machine and the electricity, say 50p a cup for something infinitely better than the mainstream coffee shops offer at >4 times the price. Plus, I actually enjoy the ritual of grinding the beans, tamping them and staring at my naked portafilter bottom as the juices flow. I spose Nescafe would be 10p a cup, but where's the fun (& flavour) in that?Where do you order your cups of coffee from? Your (generous) costings for home coffee come to 85p per cup - If I buy a coffee at the station it is under £2. A freshly-made espresso is loads better than something lukewarm from a thermos.
I'm sure I read an article the other day that said Starbucks had a billion or two drinks combinations. Waiting in the queue at the branch north of Penn Sq and I swear I heard them all. I miss American food ordering. I'd like a salad, but without the lettuce, tomato, and cucumber, and could I have the dressing on the side, but only a half portion, and can I get an egg with that, a dinosaur egg. I think the best one was: do you have things not on the menu? Now that's an opening gambit. The waitress nicely touchéd with a yes and left a nice big stretchy, lazy yawn of silence for the fiend to fall into. We got stuff and we ain't telling you. I like, when they reel off the thousand-and-one salad dressing options, or the beer list, to see how many times I can make them repeat it before they get murder eyes. It's all double-fun in NJ, because every syllable seems to be trying to pull itself out of a mud pit. Muggablubbgahbabubb they advise.
My Monsoon Malabar beans cost £4.50 for 1/2lb. I get about 10-12 cups out of each bag, so c.35p a cup. Adding the overhead for the machine and the electricity, say 50p a cup for something infinitely better than the mainstream coffee shops offer at >4 times the price. Plus, I actually enjoy the ritual of grinding the beans, tamping them and staring at my naked portafilter bottom as the juices flow. I spose Nescafe would be 10p a cup, but where's the fun (& flavour) in that?Where do you order your cups of coffee from? Your (generous) costings for home coffee come to 85p per cup - If I buy a coffee at the station it is under £2. A freshly-made espresso is loads better than something lukewarm from a thermos.
stargazy pie from CornwallYum!
Found some coffee beans in one of those hampers that people give you at Christmas. Hampers like that are, as far as I know, merely a mechanism to get rid of stuff that no one would buy otherwise, and charge a massive markup because they've put them in a box that you'll feel obliged to keep around the house for the next ten years because your wife thinks 'it might be useful.' Oh, pickled walnuts, how did you know, let me dash into the kitchen right now and serve them up! Usually I can salvage a bottle of wine from the desultory rewards and fortunately my appreciation of fine wine is calibrated by the fact I usually drink it out of a wine box. Sometimes I use a glass. I'm the person who gets excited in French supermarkets because I can buy wine in a carton.
So, yeah, coffee beans. I'm ain't one of them foo-foo types hereabout, forever over-excitedly spurting their crema over anyone within espresso range. I figure they can't be that bad, at worst the generic supermarket beans. I only ask that it be brown, strong, and caffeinated.
I figure wrong. This is worse than US conference coffee. It tastes and smells of nothing. Where did it go. These are beans of despair.
The Guatemalans DO know what they are doing. That is why they export the shit as opposed to drinking it themselves
I know, I know. It was in a bag and said 'Guatemalan something or other' on the label. I figured the Guatemalans knew what they were doing. Possibly they did. I tried experimentally making a cup with about about eight scoops of beans in the grinder, and nothing. It looked dark and slightly dangerous, but tasted like hot water. In the bin it went.
Himalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy. Its minerals exist in a colloidal form, meaning that they are tiny enough for our cells to easily absorb.
The table and cooking salt found in most homes, restaurants, and processed foods is void of nutritional value, lacking beneficial trace minerals. Processing salt turns it into sodium chloride, an unnatural salt the human body actually sees as a toxic invader!
by Dr. Edward Group DC, NP, DACBN, DCBCN, DABFM
Weirdly, I have a big grinder full of Himalayan rock salt. I saw weird because I have no idea where it came from. OK, the Himalayas, obvs.It was left behind by a visiting Sherpa.
Doesn't make any other claims on the label though. Seems to be from Lidl. I've never been to a Lidl or the Himalayas.
Weirdly, I have a big grinder full of Himalayan rock salt. I saw weird because I have no idea where it came from. OK, the Himalayas, obvs.
Doesn't make any other claims on the label though. Seems to be from Lidl. I've never been to a Lidl or the Himalayas.
I just read this website (http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/himalayan-crystal-salt-benefits/) about the Himalayan stuff and it indeed sounds really fantastic!1QuoteHimalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy. Its minerals exist in a colloidal form, meaning that they are tiny enough for our cells to easily absorb.
Much better than the poisonous stuffs we have in our kitchen:QuoteThe table and cooking salt found in most homes, restaurants, and processed foods is void of nutritional value, lacking beneficial trace minerals. Processing salt turns it into sodium chloride, an unnatural salt the human body actually sees as a toxic invader!
Wow. It must be true: have you *seen* the letters after the author's name?Quoteby Dr. Edward Group DC, NP, DACBN, DCBCN, DABFM
1. For values of "fantastic" close to "a huge steaming pile of pseudo-scientific claptrap"
I just read this website (http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/himalayan-crystal-salt-benefits/) about the Himalayan stuff and it indeed sounds really fantastic!1QuoteHimalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy...
Have you discovered Himalayan Rock Salt yet? It's magic! It contains 84 essential minerals and elements that are essential to health!
I can't be arsed to count, but of the 94 naturally occuring elements in the Periodic Table are there not some that are not found on their own, are not "bioavailable", are toxic, are radioactive or are inert?
…or am I missing something? ;)
I just read this website (http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/himalayan-crystal-salt-benefits/) about the Himalayan stuff and it indeed sounds really fantastic!1QuoteHimalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy. Its minerals exist in a colloidal form, meaning that they are tiny enough for our cells to easily absorb.
Much better than the poisonous stuffs we have in our kitchen:QuoteThe table and cooking salt found in most homes, restaurants, and processed foods is void of nutritional value, lacking beneficial trace minerals. Processing salt turns it into sodium chloride, an unnatural salt the human body actually sees as a toxic invader!
Wow. It must be true: have you *seen* the letters after the author's name?Quoteby Dr. Edward Group DC, NP, DACBN, DCBCN, DABFM
1. For values of "fantastic" close to "a huge steaming pile of pseudo-scientific claptrap"
I do have a vertiginous garden out the back of The Asbestos Palace, where it rises to the dramatic eyrie of the summer house (not a shed at all, it has a veranda). Occasionally the pampas grass in front rustles ominously.
This form of salt has also been maturing over the past 250 million years under intense tectonic pressure
Common salt is dried at more than 1,200° Fahrenheit, a process which zaps many of the natural chemical structures.
Sodium chloride crystals do not have a cellular structure.
Salt is truly inorganic.
No hocus-pocus will change this.
But don't let HARD SCIENCE and FACTS get in the way of sales drivel.
Sodium chloride crystals do not have a cellular structure.
Salt is truly inorganic.
No hocus-pocus will change this.
But don't let HARD SCIENCE and FACTS get in the way of sales drivel.
True, I must admit I saw those words and my brain translated it into "molecular structure", more or less.
Either way it's a load of drivel. But I do rather like the pink Himalayan salt. A friend of mine sells his own derivative product where he mixes it with garlic, onion and Carolina Reaper powder. It's pretty fiery.
Sodium chloride crystals do not have a cellular structure.
Salt is truly inorganic.
No hocus-pocus will change this.
But don't let HARD SCIENCE and FACTS get in the way of sales drivel.
True, I must admit I saw those words and my brain translated it into "molecular structure", more or less.
Either way it's a load of drivel. But I do rather like the pink Himalayan salt. A friend of mine sells his own derivative product where he mixes it with garlic, onion and Carolina Reaper powder. It's pretty fiery.
I've never tried the pink stuff, but I do like sea salt. I prefer the flavour to that of straight NaCl. It's the impurities that do it!
I've never tried the pink stuff, but I do like sea salt. I prefer the flavour to that of straight NaCl. It's the impurities that do it!
Suspect that's true if you are tasting salt straight from its container.
Suspect when pure NaCl is added to Real FoodTM, the minerals therein will combine with it to have a richer taste.
Would need a blind tasting of (eg) vegetable soup seasoned with sea salt v Saxa to see if there is any difference in practice, which I doubt.
I've never tried the pink stuff, but I do like sea salt. I prefer the flavour to that of straight NaCl. It's theimpurities that dofish poo that does it!
Himalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy.
I've never tried the pink stuff, but I do like sea salt. I prefer the flavour to that of straight NaCl. It's theimpurities that dofish poo that does it!
FTFY :demon:
Quote from: some charlatanHimalayan salt’s unique cellular structure allows it to store vibrational energy.
So you're supposed to go "Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmnomnomnom mani padme hum..." as you grind it then? ???
Yeah, that's my coat... the saffron-coloured one with the yak hair stuffing. ;D
Carrot in a chicken dish? No. Wrong!
...the squid rubbery...
...the squid rubbery...
Insert old, racist joke here:
I ate a frog. I mimed a chicken. I don't see how the waitress couldn't mistake that for a frog. It's not called the frog dance, is it? Maybe the Birdie Song never reached China.
It does taste like chicken. But looks like frog. Bull frog says the receipt.
We used exactly this ploy when I was working in Changsha, capital of Hunan province.I ate a frog. I mimed a chicken. I don't see how the waitress couldn't mistake that for a frog. It's not called the frog dance, is it? Maybe the Birdie Song never reached China.
It does taste like chicken. But looks like frog. Bull frog says the receipt.
A trick I have heard of from crazyguy is to carry a set of photos, as laminated cards, showing the raw materials. Universal language, innit?
Didn't prevent the waiter offering us dog in the hotel restaurant one night :sick:
But why?Didn't prevent the waiter offering us dog in the hotel restaurant one night :sick:
:sick: Indeed.
But it is something I'm going to have to try before I die.
The pictures were raw materials. If there had been a picture of an entire chicken or frog it would have been easy. I know what a chicken looks like. I have a PhD. Chicken and frog look alike at the raw material phase. At least the picture pig offal wasn't something you'd easily mistake for anything else (or something you'd want to eat). Nor the fish heads. God knows, I've already eaten enough fish heads to last me a lifetime.
Because I haven't.But why?Didn't prevent the waiter offering us dog in the hotel restaurant one night :sick:
:sick: Indeed.
But it is something I'm going to have to try before I die.
The pictures were raw materials. If there had been a picture of an entire chicken or frog it would have been easy. I know what a chicken looks like. I have a PhD. Chicken and frog look alike at the raw material phase. At least the picture pig offal wasn't something you'd easily mistake for anything else (or something you'd want to eat). Nor the fish heads. God knows, I've already eaten enough fish heads to last me a lifetime.
We know a song about that, don't we, Billy! (http://youtu.be/cn73Wtem0No)
The pictures were raw materials. If there had been a picture of an entire chicken or frog it would have been easy. I know what a chicken looks like. I have a PhD. Chicken and frog look alike at the raw material phase. At least the picture pig offal wasn't something you'd easily mistake for anything else (or something you'd want to eat). Nor the fish heads. God knows, I've already eaten enough fish heads to last me a lifetime.There is one like that in Liverpool, but you help yourself to the raw stuff which is labeled in some approximation to English, still pretty hardcore though frog and beef tendon featured on the menu.
Chinese stockpot is much the same idea as sukiyaki or shabu-shabu in Japan (both of which I've had several times), though a bit more earthy. May have contained actual earth, come to think of it.
The Chinese love cartilage. Western palettes struggle with it (big fat lie, Brits do, those dubious Europeans love scooping the gloop out of pig joints). Hence the chicken feet which tastes to me like sucking slime only to find you're stuck with a mouthful of grit-like bones. That and fat. I once caused great amusement to my Chinese hosts by dismantling a mountain of pork belly in an effort to find something that wasn't 100% lard.
I'm not, I confess, good with peculiar food. I grew up in the East Midlands, the epitome of exotic for me was crispy pancakes and potato waffles.
The Chinese love cartilage. Western palettes struggle with it (big fat lie, Brits do, those dubious Europeans love scooping the gloop out of pig joints). Hence the chicken feet which tastes to me like sucking slime only to find you're stuck with a mouthful of grit-like bones. That and fat. I once caused great amusement to my Chinese hosts by dismantling a mountain of pork belly in an effort to find something that wasn't 100% lard.When my daughter was in a boarding school abroad, she complained that they kept getting fed lumps of fat for dinner. When reading a Dervla Murphy book about the region I discovered that smoked pig fat was considered a luxury food in the region. The catering staff were probably right hacked off with the stuck-up western students wasting the expensive food.
I'm not, I confess, good with peculiar food. I grew up in the East Midlands, the epitome of exotic for me was crispy pancakes and potato waffles.
The Chinese (well the ones I know, I've not met all of them yet) find my delicate tastes amusing. Beef tendon, pork intestines, stomach churning piles of fat, random chicken bits. I'm one of those effete people who trims the fat off bacon (I can only eat it as carbonised crispy bacon). I have no tolerance for the texture of fat. Weird textured stuff in general makes my stomach perform ill-advised acrobatic manoeuvres. I had a big plate of brown (many countries seem to have two staple food stuffs, red and brown) in Indonesia. I've no idea what it was, but it appeared to contain some variety of meat. Except it had a mysterious texture. Everyone was looking at me in that eager way they do when they expect a guest to say something nice about their hospitality so I had to eat. All of it.
I think the old saying is that Chinese will every bit of the pig other than for the oink.
I don't know about a delicacy, more a staple really, but lard thickly spread on bread with a few slices of onion is popular in Poland. Everywhere between the Odra and Mongolia, really.The Chinese love cartilage. Western palettes struggle with it (big fat lie, Brits do, those dubious Europeans love scooping the gloop out of pig joints). Hence the chicken feet which tastes to me like sucking slime only to find you're stuck with a mouthful of grit-like bones. That and fat. I once caused great amusement to my Chinese hosts by dismantling a mountain of pork belly in an effort to find something that wasn't 100% lard.When my daughter was in a boarding school abroad, she complained that they kept getting fed lumps of fat for dinner. When reading a Dervla Murphy book about the region I discovered that smoked pig fat was considered a luxury food in the region. The catering staff were probably right hacked off with the stuck-up western students wasting the expensive food.
I'm not, I confess, good with peculiar food. I grew up in the East Midlands, the epitome of exotic for me was crispy pancakes and potato waffles.
I think the old saying is that Chinese will every bit of the pig other than for the oink.
The Yorkshire saying is "Every bit is useful apart from it's squeak". There was (until floods and stuff) a stall on Leeds market selling the squidgy rubbery tripe bits. I'm unconvinced anyone in Yorkshire actually cooked pigs eyeballs.
I'm unconvinced anyone in Yorkshire actually cooked pigs eyeballs.
My mum loves bread and dripping.
I think the old saying is that Chinese will every bit of the pig other than for the oink.
The Yorkshire saying is "Every bit is useful apart from it's squeak". There was (until floods and stuff) a stall on Leeds market selling the squidgy rubbery tripe bits. I'm unconvinced anyone in Yorkshire actually cooked pigs eyeballs.
<considers David Cameron>There are exceptions to all rules.
<regrets it>
Not a pate-like-mouse.
I know, right? potted crab, potted shrimp; getting that wrong in Yorkshire is criminal.Not a pate-like-mouse.
You should definitely have sent that back.
Bald rodent? :DI know, right? potted crab, potted shrimp; getting that wrong in Yorkshire is criminal.Not a pate-like-mouse.
You should definitely have sent that back.
Food with too many adjectives again...
I don't often have anything much for breakfast. The idea of a cheese toastie grew, I was really looking forward to it. Then the fucking toaster ate my toastie.
Should this be in first world problems?
We don't butter bread any more, we omega-three-spread it. :(A rant indeed.
:sick: fancy margarine is still margarine.Quite. Fortunately we have been a marg free household for decades.
EU rules say all new coffee machines must have auto switch off hot plates.Good God! Auto switch off hot plates? What will the out-of-touch elite in Brussels think of next? Good thing we can get rid of all those Euro rules now. And have our Great! British! Coffee! That! Tastes! Like! Washing! Up! Liquid!
Sine the hot plate stews the coffee fairly quickly it's not a bad thing. What you want is a thermos jug instead, keeps the coffee hot without stewing it.
We Want Plates might provide you with merriment...That's brill.
wewantplates.com
We Want Plates might provide you with merriment...That's brill.
wewantplates.com
My fav
http://wewantplates.com/2015/05/cut-your-own-salad/ (http://wewantplates.com/2015/05/cut-your-own-salad/)
My local Tesco has stopped selling their bakery dark chocolate cookies. Apparently I must have been the only person buying them.
Origin and etymology
In English, the most common name in North America is "romaine", while elsewhere it is known as "cos lettuce". Many dictionaries trace the word cos to the name of the Greek island of Cos, from which the lettuce was presumably introduced. Other authorities trace cos to the Arabic word for lettuce, khus
It apparently reached the West via Rome, as in Italian it is called lattuga romana and in French laitue romaine, both meaning 'Roman lettuce', hence the name 'romaine', the common term in North American English.
Which bright spark decided that Cos lettuce should now be known as Romaine lettuce?
Well I do, it's what drives me to Lidl every so often to stock up on a selection bars :P
Well I do, it's what drives me to Lidl every so often to stock up on a selection bars :P
AIUI Lidl isn't BRITISH
Are you eating monster sandwiches? The kind where you have to perform a radical fillingectomy before you can fit it into your mouth? I do miss that with anorexic British sandwiches. One lonely slice of ham. I want the pig. An entire pig microtomed into slices. With the annual cheese output of Wisconsin.
O cashews
You are so tasty and delicious
And turn the most mundane of dishes into a nut-studded feast
Why do you have to be produced by Vietnamese slaves held in abhorrent conditions?
:'(
On the flip side, people over here get to be so unfeasibly fat I wonder when they decide to stop eating. Seeing people who are so morbidly obese they could lose half their body weight and still be morbidly obese is a serious eye opener.
O cashews
You are so tasty and delicious
And turn the most mundane of dishes into a nut-studded feast
Why do you have to be produced by Vietnamese slaves held in abhorrent conditions?
:'(
Oh, they're not are they?
I was going to do my cashew nut pilaff for the church party next week :(
On the flip side, people over here get to be so unfeasibly fat I wonder when they decide to stop eating. Seeing people who are so morbidly obese they could lose half their body weight and still be morbidly obese is a serious eye opener.
Breakfast on Saturday in a diner in Susanville CA. Waitress directs bloke to a booth. Bloke looks like two Johnny Vegases in the same clothes. Bloke somehow squeezes himself 'twixt table and bench and sits gasping like a stranded fish before waitress returns with Brown Drink. Asks if he can sit at counter instead.
I had an ice cream a couple of weeks back in the US. I figured a single scoop in a cone was the least dangerous thing on the menu.
You've never seen such a titanic mass of ice cream balanced atop a cone that was handed to me. That was the smallest thing they had available. It was very nice but no one really needs that much ice cream.
Mince pies made from lumps of chopped up sheep (of whatever age) are OK all year round.
And it wasn't. Instead of spicy chicken, I got gloopy sweet chicken, same as you get with El Paso nasty tacos. Bah. Now I have make my own seasoning or find an alternative. The horror, the horror. I know #firstworldproblem but damn them to Hell and back.
And it wasn't. Instead of spicy chicken, I got gloopy sweet chicken, same as you get with El Paso nasty tacos. Bah. Now I have make my own seasoning or find an alternative. The horror, the horror. I know #firstworldproblem but damn them to Hell and back.
Oh FFS. I've always liked Discovery/Santa Maria Fajitas mix. If they've turned that into the same disgusting sweet gloop you get from El Paso I'll be very pissed off indeed.
whereas the only manufactured elements of my dinner tonight were Thai curry paste and quorn chunks. Very tasty it was too with various veg O:-)
They ran out of sausages (or rather the pale USAnian facsimiles of same) at breakfast just now. I shall write a Stern Letter to Nice Mr Obambi before he's out on his ear.Any man who contends that it is not an heretical act to eat Xmas mince pies at times other than in their due season (which being late December until very early January - mid Jan at a push if the dearly beloved has over-catered) deserves all the victual and gastronomic related distress that shall be his lot. Yea, verily here endeth the lesson. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord. ect ect ect :)
I will attempt to replicate with my spice collection.
Look, I had a five hour drive ahead of me followed by the double horror of O'Hare airport and airline food. Anything to stoke up for the famine ahead ;D
They ran out of sausages (or rather the pale USAnian facsimiles of same) at breakfast just now. I shall write a Stern Letter to Nice Mr Obambi before he's out on his ear.Any man who contends that it is not an heretical act to eat Xmas mince pies at times other than in their due season (which being late December until very early January - mid Jan at a push if the dearly beloved has over-catered) deserves all the victual and gastronomic related distress that shall be his lot. Yea, verily here endeth the lesson. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord. ect ect ect :)
I'm not fond of beef and IMO opinion, it is overpriced.
There is only me and the youngest in the house, so I thought I'd treat him to a beefburger, bought him a couple of hereford pure beefburgers. They looked to be make of decent meat.
2" thick. How ruddy ridiculous, impossible to cook through without overcooking the outside. I pretty much gave up, good thing he likes his meat bleeding. FFS.
I get that there is a fashion for just frightening a steak with a warm match, actually, ideally it should be still mooing, but a burger made of ground meat needs cooking. 2" thick is just too thick to cook through without charcoaling a third of it.
I get that there is a fashion for just frightening a steak with a warm match, actually, ideally it should be still mooing, but a burger made of ground meat needs cooking. 2" thick is just too thick to cook through without charcoaling a third of it.
Hmmmm. There is a view (http://www.thetrollspantry.co.uk/2013/11/11/undercooked-burgers-the-facts/) which is that burgers should be cooked all the way through.
raw fish is bletchworthy extreme
I can't do sushi or sashimi, the texture of raw fish weirds me, and confess it all tastes like identical chewy cold stuff or some other form of nasty sea squick. I even have to cook smoked salmon and don't even fucking think of serving me tuna that is just cooked on the outside.
I can't do sushi or sashimi, the texture of raw fish weirds me, and confess it all tastes like identical chewy cold stuff or some other form of nasty sea squick. I even have to cook smoked salmon and don't even fucking think of serving me tuna that is just cooked on the outside.
So a Dutch (raw) herring and onion roll is not on the menu then?
Girl on the train. Breakfast seems to be two industrial bags of Monster Munch (pickled onion and beef) intermixed with a family sized bar of Dairy Milk. Washed down with full fat coke. I hate to think what dinner is. Is this what happens in the movie?Maybe she's just finished an audax.
Shallot #3 works in a pub restaurant. She was telling me about a table the other day where, along with the usual dietary requirements (no fewer than three coeliacs—who knew it was so common?) there were two people who claimed to have "Cow-Allergy". So, no butter, milk, beef or dripping, but goats cheese, chicken, lard, etc. were fine. Is that seriously a thing?I have a friend who claims the same about pork (but we don't tend to eat pig-milk products so it's less of an issue). I think in theory you can be allergic to just about anything, but I do have my doubts about some people.
I was dubious about meat allergies until I read this
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/oct/07/tick-bites-that-trigger-severe-meat-allergy-on-rise-around-the-world
I will attempt to replicate with my spice collection.
My Mexican spice mix (which I use for anything however you fold it)is based around the following-ish mix
2:Garlic powder
2:Onion Powder
2: Cumin
1: Coriander
1: Oregano (or not)
1: Chili Powder(or less)
1: Cayenne (or less)
1: Paprika (or not)
I don't use salt at all.
HTH
Mrs Tiger's book group were at ours this week. A frenzy of clearing, cleaning and hoovering was followed by a day in kitchen preparing food to the exacting standards of this assortment ofSpeaking as a person who is not celiac, but who was diagnosed wheat-intolerant decades ago in a hospital, that sort of thing really pisses me off. I've managed for all those years by simply eating normal meals. Avoiding taking mouthfuls of pasta or pizza and eating the, you know, *normal* food. That's all that's required. Not putting hosts through some effing pointless torture.food cranksdiscerning diners. The greatest challenge was the gluten free one which in the end drove the whole menu. Plus various veg/no carbs/etc etc.
Drear soup, listless salmon in neutral sauce with salad bits was the solution, and special gluten free puddings. Imagine the delight when the gluten intolerant one called an hour before to say she thought she had a bit of flu and wasn't going to make it.
I had to eat the meal for her instead of getting a nice Thai takeout. That was a sacrifice I can tell you.
Mrs Tiger's book group were at ours this week. A frenzy of clearing, cleaning and hoovering was followed by a day in kitchen preparing food to the exacting standards of this assortment ofSpeaking as a person who is not celiac, but who was diagnosed wheat-intolerant decades ago in a hospital, that sort of thing really pisses me off. I've managed for all those years by simply eating normal meals. Avoiding taking mouthfuls of pasta or pizza and eating the, you know, *normal* food. That's all that's required. Not putting hosts through some effing pointless torture.food cranksdiscerning diners. The greatest challenge was the gluten free one which in the end drove the whole menu. Plus various veg/no carbs/etc etc.
Drear soup, listless salmon in neutral sauce with salad bits was the solution, and special gluten free puddings. Imagine the delight when the gluten intolerant one called an hour before to say she thought she had a bit of flu and wasn't going to make it.
I had to eat the meal for her instead of getting a nice Thai takeout. That was a sacrifice I can tell you.
Yep, suck them heads. It's a thing. Everyone slurping out those crispy little craniums like short-changed zombies.You should try Ise-ebi sashimi. Looks like this -
Really, I'm not hot on the entire crustacean thing. I can manage prawns though I would rather not. I remember once in Boston trying to ignore my girlfriend dismembering a lobster when splat, guts down my front. She looks at me and says 'was that me?' Like lobster guts just rain from the sky. Not even in Maine, honey.
Oh, and Baltimore crabs. You have to, they insist. These people are monsters, after about five minutes there's bits of crab everywhere, legs, claws, bits of shell. It's like someone has dropped a daisy cutter on a beach. Carnage. I don't need to see that and I definitely don't want to eat it.
Anyone, be they staff or merely prurient member of the unwashed masses, who asks to take a photograph of my dinner runs the very real risk of finding themselves wearing it for a hat >:(Do people do that? Take photos of other people's meals? I suppose they must do. ???
Cappucino flavoured Werther's Originals. :sick: :sick: :sick:
Surely bollocks are savoury?Surely bollocks are unsavoury?
The chrimbo stash pile has run out of savoury treats. All that is left is chocolate, toffee and biscuits.
Bollocks.
I noticed the same thing yesterday - and there was some abomination instead: Yorkshire 'Breaktime Tea' with Citrus, and 'Bedtime Tea' - decaf with herbs :sick: :sick: :sick: :hand:
For my last home pizza making session I took the usual carton of passata (because I am lazy) and reduced it a bit more and used that on top. Seemed to work ok. I'm getting quite good at spinach and egg at home but it's a bit of a pain getting it back in the furnace without the egg going everywhere.
Cheat and use a tortilla wrap. Works perfectly well and if you don't have an oven you can do them on a flat pan on a stove. even do a 'calzone' and if you are a sad gluten-free freak like me then you can get those Warburton flat wraps.For my last home pizza making session I took the usual carton of passata (because I am lazy) and reduced it a bit more and used that on top. Seemed to work ok. I'm getting quite good at spinach and egg at home but it's a bit of a pain getting it back in the furnace without the egg going everywhere.
Put the pizza on the tray (I have a one with holes in it, less hassle than scraping it off the shelf) and then crack the egg in the middle is how I do it.
The mistake of thin, home-cooked pizza is too much/too wet topping.
Same yesterday, grabbed a cheese and ham panini while waiting for a train.Not a rant, just reminds me of something at the weekend. Audaxer walks into a cafe and asks for a cheese and ham toasty. "You want a panini?" inquires the proprietor.
Same yesterday, grabbed a cheese and ham panini while waiting for a train. Cheese and ham toasty. How difficult to put cheese and ham between some bread and toast it? Basically I ended up with a lump of soggy stodge. The cheese wasn't cheese, it was what appeared to be some kind of ersatz bechamel sauce. That had, of course, simple soaked into the bread because that's what happens when your put liquid on bread and is why we don't eat soup sandwiches. The ham really wasn't worth a pig dying over, it could have been anything with a vague slimy texture and no taste. To be honest, there was so little of it in there, it was hard to say. To cap it all, they really hadn't even bothered to toast it, just show it the grill, so I had the delight of a pallid, lukewarm, tasteless lump of damp bread. I ate half of it before giving up as it was just calories with no pleasure. I would have taken it back but I was already on the train.When I wasn't yet even a poor penniless student oaf I was on the train on the way back from Swansea having wandered round the uni there. (That puts it at'79/'80.) I was hungry but almost potless, and very conscious that train food was crap. I held out all the way to about Reading when they announced that the buffet would soon close. I cracked and headed off for sustenance. Ha ! As if. I ordered a 'Toasted cheese sandwich'. It was so execrably disappointing that even as a spotty, shy and unconfrontational 18 year old I was compelled to take it back and complain. It was that bad.
...I'll drink whatever I like...
...I'll drink whatever I like...
This.
Thick sliced bread. Why?
It's like eating a mattress.
And it's always the stuff supermarkets have in stock because no one likes it. Just stop making it. I don't want my toast raw in the middle. Ergh, raw toast. It's the worst.
They always had the weird bastard children of sausages rolls suntanning under the heat lamp on the rollers of culinary doom in a 7-11. Though it was never clear what they'd wrapped the 'sausage' part in.
OK, I made the mistake of using the internet. Maple syrup pancakes rollers. Processed meat wrapped in a processed pancake. With added sugar.
Dear fuzz, having spotted a group with just such a stance as you describe, it occurred to me; do the footsoldiers of our peace get a 'meal allowance'?
Most of us workers can 'bring a pack up from home', but I haven't seen a 'sandwich holster' on a copper's utility belt.
the ancient art of making a good, God's honest pudding seems to be lost on people. My old lady can't make it, my folks can't make it...
Do you know why I hate pudding? Because the ancient art of making a good, God's honest pudding seems to be lost on people. My old lady can't make it, my folks can't make it, even the restaurants that pride themselves on their pudding, like Hawksmoor (https://restaurantguru.com/Hawksmoor-London-4) and Tibits (https://restaurantguru.com/tibits-UK-London), can't actually do it. What they all make is a modern gooey substance shaped into devilish forms that pretends to have the name of pudding.
I don't know what it is: the food, the means of cooking or the people. But pudding is disgustingly un-puddinglike these days. The only thing I can hope to get from pudding today os an aftertaste of added products. Or maybe I'm just being nostalgic for the times when I was a wee boy who loved the real food.
I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.I have a friend who has done this (not me, although I too have been tempted). He once ordered soup when everyone else was having puddings and was told it was 'disgusting' by complete stranger sitting at another table. ???
Whereas I have suggested Audaxers might benefit from having dessert before the main course...
I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.I have a friend who has done this (not me, although I too have been tempted). He once ordered soup when everyone else was having puddings and was told it was 'disgusting' by complete stranger sitting at another table. ???
I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've been caught out several times. 2 course meal. I've ordered starter and main. Everyone else orders main and sweet. I eat starter while everyone else watches. Uncomfortable. They're hating me cos I'm holding up proceedings. Making them wait.
The starter as a second course is a brilliant idea. Thank you. I will do that.
Whereas I have suggested Audaxers might benefit from having dessert before the main course...Is this on nutritional grounds or simply because they can make the main course while you're eating dessert, cutting down waiting time?
Whereas I have suggested Audaxers might benefit from having dessert before the main course...Is this on nutritional grounds or simply because they can make the main course while you're eating dessert, cutting down waiting time?
Whereas I have suggested Audaxers might benefit from having dessert before the main course...Is this on nutritional grounds or simply because they can make the main course while you're eating dessert, cutting down waiting time?
Why not order a starter while they have mains and a main when they have dessert?I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've been caught out several times. 2 course meal. I've ordered starter and main. Everyone else orders main and sweet. I eat starter while everyone else watches. Uncomfortable. They're hating me cos I'm holding up proceedings. Making them wait.
The starter as a second course is a brilliant idea. Thank you. I will do that.
Shame about boiled cabbage, it damns a decent vegetable. There are many interesting ways of cooking cabbage or even of eating it raw.
Proper food needs time to be eaten, both in terms of appetite and absorption. If you are hot and bothered, you might not fancy Real Food.
Whereas I have suggested Audaxers might benefit from having dessert before the main course...Is this on nutritional grounds or simply because they can make the main course while you're eating dessert, cutting down waiting time?
...coupled with the notion that a dessert is a treat that needs to be earned.
How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat!
Yogurt is good, I find. Always keep a teaspoon or a spork in your saddlebag, rackpack or pannier.Proper food needs time to be eaten, both in terms of appetite and absorption. If you are hot and bothered, you might not fancy Real Food.
Very much this. I find something sweet and milky (icecream, milkshake, that sort of thing) palatable when I've just got off a bike, and it speeds up my enthusiasm for eating proper food.
Yogurt is good, I find. Always keep a teaspoon or a spork in your saddlebag, rackpack or pannier.Proper food needs time to be eaten, both in terms of appetite and absorption. If you are hot and bothered, you might not fancy Real Food.
Very much this. I find something sweet and milky (icecream, milkshake, that sort of thing) palatable when I've just got off a bike, and it speeds up my enthusiasm for eating proper food.
Why not order a starter while they have mains and a main when they have dessert?I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've been caught out several times. 2 course meal. I've ordered starter and main. Everyone else orders main and sweet. I eat starter while everyone else watches. Uncomfortable. They're hating me cos I'm holding up proceedings. Making them wait.
The starter as a second course is a brilliant idea. Thank you. I will do that.
Why not order a starter while they have mains and a main when they have dessert?I've been tempted, on more than one occasion, to start with the main along with everyone else, then ask for a starter menu when everyone else is having their dessert menus. Haven't done it yet, but it's only a matter of time.
I've been caught out several times. 2 course meal. I've ordered starter and main. Everyone else orders main and sweet. I eat starter while everyone else watches. Uncomfortable. They're hating me cos I'm holding up proceedings. Making them wait.
The starter as a second course is a brilliant idea. Thank you. I will do that.
I'm not really sure why they needed to shrinkwrap a cabbage in the first place, mind.So they could put a date sticker on it.
I'm not really sure why they needed to shrinkwrap a cabbage in the first place, mind.So they could put a date sticker on it.
I mostly avoid mushrooms anyway, I don't trust them. I suspect the market is for people who hate washing the bloody things.
I mostly avoid mushrooms anyway, I don't trust them. I suspect the market is for people who hate washing the bloody things.
Eh? Who washes mushrooms?
Anyway, having duly undermined my rant, it's the other prepared stuff. Pre-sliced and chopped onions. I mean, seriously, there are people too busy or incompetent to chop an onion?
They grow on poo.Sterilised poo. It's fiiiiine.
Anyway, having duly undermined my rant, it's the other prepared stuff. Pre-sliced and chopped onions. I mean, seriously, there are people too busy or incompetent to chop an onion?
Yes, me. Fortunately the boyfriend is good at it, so I have a bag of frozen (yes, pre-chopped!) onions in the freezer for occasions when I'm left to fend for myself.
I have a special mushroom brush from Lakeland.
Anyway, having duly undermined my rant, it's the other prepared stuff. Pre-sliced and chopped onions. I mean, seriously, there are people too busy or incompetent to chop an onion?
Yes, me. Fortunately the boyfriend is good at it, so I have a bag of frozen (yes, pre-chopped!) onions in the freezer for occasions when I'm left to fend for myself.
Actually, pre-chopped onions are useful for disabled people, and I guess elderly folks also. You might not be able to hold a knife firmly, but you can stir with a spoon.
(obviously I'd rather blind myself than go to Aldi or Lidl, good god it's probably like strolling through a Lord of Rings set)
Implausibly, I've never ever been in an Asda.
My mum worked was a till jockey in Morrisons though until she retired recently. So yes, I see your point.
Meh. They're all just different colour supermarkets. Stocking eccentricities aside, most of what they sell is the same. Of the own-brand stuff, some are good and some are bad.Aldi chocolate is much better than most of the stuff in Sainsbury's.
Personally, I use Aldi because it's close and good at fresh meat and generic non-food items, and you can occasionally pick up a bargain on cycling gloves, tools or thermal underwear. Sainsbury's is further away but has Lactofree products, decent veg, bigger packs of decent bogroll, proper chocolate and less wastefully sized packets of cheese. Tesco is a decent ride away up an annoying hill and has horrid smoker-infested bike parking, but has the best rice and own-brand pure orange juice, so I do a trailer mission every several weeks. There's a decent sized Asda not too far away that I never use because the logical cycling route, while flat, involves far too much Sustrans path shenanigans. The nearest Morrisons is the wrong side of the Col de Priory Road, protected on all sides by some of Birmingham's finest motorists, and generally quite expensive.
Distress purchases can be made at one of the smaller Sainsbury's or two Tescos within a few hundred metres walk. They're often useful (especially as someone pointed out the utility of self-humiliation checkouts for disposal of excess change), but more expensive.
Have you encountered food that is Kosher for Passover?
Have you encountered food that is Kosher for Passover?
Does that differ from ordinary Kosher food? <Dredges depths of memory...> does it have ton br leaven-free as well?
A possible trace of non-kosher is acceptable year round but there is no minimum acceptable contamination level for leaven.
Passover rules are VERY strict for the orthodox.
Old Passover joak 'That family is so strict, they'll only drink water that's been passed by the Rabbi...'
atsometimesthis time of the year they are just small 'old' potatoes?
Gaaah, chicken breast! Why does everyone use chicken breast for everything? It's the most tasteless part of the bird. Chicken thighs, every time.
This is just one of the reasons why I never have a chicken dish when eating out.
Or do like three or four of our neighbours and raise your own.Ha, not in my postage stamp of garden...
Gaaah, chicken breast! Why does everyone use chicken breast for everything? It's the most tasteless part of the bird. Chicken thighs, every time.
This is just one of the reasons why I never have a chicken dish when eating out.
Ian, I take my hat off to you. That is some of your best work. Boneless chicken wings are your muse.
OMFG. They are a thing http://www.kitchme.com/recipes/crispy-boneless-buffalo-chicken-wingsFake food! Buffalo, but it's not buffalo. Chicken, probably but you can't be sure. Wings, but no, it's breast. Boneless, because don't have skeletons.
I've only eaten my chickens once and they were a couple of years old and layers. They were a tad (as in boot leather) tough once (mistakenly) roasted. They don't call them broilers for nothing!
quality work Ian. I feel for you, I really do.
I have a question however. WTAF were you doing in the back of an LAPD sqaud car (apart from eating tacos)?
If, for some unfathomable (or very fathomable) reason it was a legitimate case, how the fuck did you persuade them to release you?
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.
I remember as a young thing (late 1970s) being taken to a local food emporium in Maidstone called the Dixieland Diner. This was in the days before even McDonald's was common on the high street and authentic American restaurants still seemed quite exotic. My memories of the actual food are too dim and distant to be reliable but I bet that even in those culinarily unenlightened times it was better than you'd get from the likes of TGIF or F&B these days.
No, I've never eaten in either - and I have no intention of ever doing so.
Wetherspoons at least has the advantage that the prices genuinely correspond to the quality of the food, and it doesn't pretend to be something it isn't.
(Apropos of nothing, the taxis in Addis Ababa are still (quite often) Trabants, which is cool until you hit the first pot hole and you realise the only shock absorber is your coccyx.)That's curious, FiL had a Wartburg and that had really comfy suspension. The 2-stroke 3-cylinder engine produced a great deal of noise and smoke for very little forward motion and the body of the car was falling to pieces, but the suspension was great.
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.I have been to one, I seem to vaguely remember, at some sort of cousin-do. Can't remember the food. Have been to Hard Rock Cafe in Bangalore because someone wanted to be trendy but never to a Frankie and Benny's. The fact they always seem to be situated in shopping centres next to Pets at Home and Halfords is offputting enough.
(Apropos of nothing, the taxis in Addis Ababa are still (quite often) Trabants, which is cool until you hit the first pot hole and you realise the only shock absorber is your coccyx.)That's curious, FiL had a Wartburg and that had really comfy suspension. The 2-stroke 3-cylinder engine produced a great deal of noise and smoke for very little forward motion and the body of the car was falling to pieces, but the suspension was great.
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.
I got taken to one in San Jose or Cupertino more than 25 years ago, before they got started here. The main attraction to my colleagues seemed to be the waitresses in cycling shorts. My main memory was a rack of barbecue ribs which was so large I felt a bit sick after eating it and literally could not watch my boss have a dessert afterwards.
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.
I got taken to one in San Jose or Cupertino more than 25 years ago, before they got started here. The main attraction to my colleagues seemed to be the waitresses in cycling shorts. My main memory was a rack of barbecue ribs which was so large I felt a bit sick after eating it and literally could not watch my boss have a dessert afterwards.
I’m pretty sure they started here over thirty years ago, (remembering a colleague going to one and then trying to fit than in timelinewise)
I didn't notice, but it lacked inner door handles for obvious reasons. This was some time ago so an old school Crown Vic, LAPD probably cruise around in SUVs and armoured personnel carriers these days. OK, they do have quite a few bicycle police down in Santa Monica/Venice. I suspect they'd be less keen to cycle around South Central. Quite a few of the older taxis in US cities are ex-police Crown Vics. (Apropos of nothing, the taxis in Addis Ababa are still (quite often) Trabants, which is cool until you hit the first pot hole and you realise the only shock absorber is your coccyx.)
I didn't notice, but it lacked inner door handles for obvious reasons. This was some time ago so an old school Crown Vic, LAPD probably cruise around in SUVs and armoured personnel carriers these days. OK, they do have quite a few bicycle police down in Santa Monica/Venice. I suspect they'd be less keen to cycle around South Central. Quite a few of the older taxis in US cities are ex-police Crown Vics. (Apropos of nothing, the taxis in Addis Ababa are still (quite often) Trabants, which is cool until you hit the first pot hole and you realise the only shock absorber is your coccyx.)
I had a ride in the back of a Nevada Highway Patrol Crown Vic a few years ago and had to lounge sideways acriss the seat as the armour plating to stop perps knifecriming The Law left about as much legroom as you'd get in an Issigonis Mini. They had a brief flirtation with Dodge Chargers after that but now have Ford SUV things. Our mate The Sarge complains about them being limited to 130 mph ;D
It can't be worse the Hard Rock Cafe. At least that wasn't disappointing, it's precisely what you expect, like they titrated despondency. Overdone catering fayre sinking slowly into its own swamp of sticky sauce while superannuated Hollywood stars gurn at you from the walls. Actually, I've made a horrid mistake, that's Planet Hollywood. I think HRC has guitars on the wall, but is otherwise identical. This means I must have been in an HRC and PH. The shame.Yes. Or do I mean no? I mean, when I said earlier I'd been to Hard Rock Cafe in Bangalore, I later had a moment's doubt as to whether it had not in fact been Planet Hollywood. Google suggests there's only one Planet Hollywood in all India and it's in Goa, so it must have been Hard Rock Cafe.
Has anyone ever been to TGIF? I've looked through the window. I've always assumed everyone inside is being held hostage.
I got taken to one in San Jose or Cupertino more than 25 years ago, before they got started here. The main attraction to my colleagues seemed to be the waitresses in cycling shorts. My main memory was a rack of barbecue ribs which was so large I felt a bit sick after eating it and literally could not watch my boss have a dessert afterwards.
I’m pretty sure they started here over thirty years ago, (remembering a colleague going to one and then trying to fit than in timelinewise)
Wagamama, not the worst, but it’s Asian food for people who aren’t sure if they like Asian food. It used to be OK as a safe bet but the last time I went (to the one opposite Fairfield Halls in Croydon, your dining options are pretty limited after 10pm in Croydon, come to think of it, they’re not exactly good before 10pm) it was basically a squabble of noodles that seemed to have drowned in a bowl of tepid stock and The Curry That Said ‘Meh.’ Not been since as they’re refurbing FH (I liked the 70s vibe). Basically any generic mall noodle bar in the far-east will do better and for quarter of the price. Or for practicality, go to one of the little Japanese places the dot the London suburbs, you’ll get better for half the price and have twice the fun.
Nandos. Never been. Never gonna.
The sauce is probably the saving grace. It's daubed liberally on the outside of the chicken as they grill, but none of it gets inside, it just slithers off with the skin, so really you end up dissecting the chicken and pouring on more sauce. Effectively, it's really a sauce restaurant, the chicken is just the serving mechanism.
Pretty sure I went to a Planet Hollywood in LA. It’s the kind of thing you do when you are researching fastish food restaurants.
The most memorable thing was that it had a Terminator in the lobby.
Planet Hollywood is another place I've never eaten in. Why would you? I don't get it.
What puzzles me a bit is why Carribean food never took off in the UK in the same way as Nandos, a South African import – proper jerk chicken off the bbq is fantastic and easily a match. It always seems a bit of an omission.
even in the leafy jungles of Surrey you'll find Indian, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Korean etc. without too much effort, but rarely Carribean.
even in the leafy jungles of Surrey you'll find Indian, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Korean etc. without too much effort, but rarely Carribean.
Of course, the version of those cuisines you find on the UK high street is very much an anglicised hybrid.
Caribbean cooking is itself a hybrid of many different cultural influences with no coherent lineage, which might be part of the reason it hasn’t established a mainstream presence over here. But I’m just guessing.
You might also ask why we have so many French and Italian restaurants but very few German ones - considering the German heritage of our royal family for the last 300 years, you’d think they might have had more of a cultural influence.
I suppose all those international cuisines are distinctive, they have a signature. German is a bit like British, no real hook. Everyone knows what a Thai or Chinese dish is, authentic or not.
Well, other than the French, who insist on ruining non-French food.
And oh, if you're in Norway and face a pizza topping decision, go for the taco.
And oh, if you're in Norway and face a pizza topping decision, go for the taco.
Mrs P has had experience with Norwegian pizza. It looked rather oily in her pics of it.
And oh, if you're in Norway and face a pizza topping decision, go for the taco.
Mrs P has had experience with Norwegian pizza. It looked rather oily in her pics of it.
When's the last time you heard anyone say "Let's go out for a German" ?
Hmmmm?
Indian cooking is also a hybrid (here. And in India too.) In fact it's probably one of the influences on Caribbean cooking in some places (Trinidad).even in the leafy jungles of Surrey you'll find Indian, Chinese, Thai, Vietnamese, Korean etc. without too much effort, but rarely Carribean.
Of course, the version of those cuisines you find on the UK high street is very much an anglicised hybrid.
Caribbean cooking is itself a hybrid of many different cultural influences with no coherent lineage, which might be part of the reason it hasn’t established a mainstream presence over here. But I’m just guessing.
You might also ask why we have so many French and Italian restaurants but very few German ones - considering the German heritage of our royal family for the last 300 years, you’d think they might have had more of a cultural influence.Might be the "Don't mention the war!" factor. Or this idea we have that Germans are boring and mechanical.
QuoteYou might also ask why we have so many French and Italian restaurants but very few German ones - considering the German heritage of our royal family for the last 300 years, you’d think they might have had more of a cultural influence.Might be the "Don't mention the war!" factor. Or this idea we have that Germans are boring and mechanical.
We have Herman ze German!
My German pal loves them, though he lives in KL these days, so I expect he's not getting much currywurst.
It is closing (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-46760299).
My German pal loves them, though he lives in KL these days, so I expect he's not getting much currywurst.
Kaiserslautern?
QuoteYou might also ask why we have so many French and Italian restaurants but very few German ones - considering the German heritage of our royal family for the last 300 years, you’d think they might have had more of a cultural influence.Might be the "Don't mention the war!" factor. Or this idea we have that Germans are boring and mechanical.
Potentially getting a bin through your front window every time some hack invokes the spirit of 1943 in the Daily Heil is maybe a disincentive.
It was the First World War that didn't do much for the German presence on the high street in the first place - quite a lot of German-owned shops were trashed by mobs early on
That said, I once made the mistake of having a Vietnamese in France. Good god, that was awful.
Kuala Lumpur. They probably have currywurst in Kaiserslautern. Reminds of the time, back when I was doing my PhD, we had a little German fellow from there who came out on curry night for his first ever curry. Not to be held back by mere commonsense, he had some kind of vindaloo. He sweated like a bratwurst on a hot grill and the look of distress on his face was priceless. I'm guessing curries were not exactly hot in Germany.
I am An Heathen as far as eating out goes. TGI Friday? Check. Nando's? Check. Planet Hollywood? Check. Mel's Diner? Check Noodle Bar? Check. Wimpy? Check McDonalds? Check, KFC? Check. Levi Roots (Stratford)? Check. Bills? Check. Harvester? Check. Toby Jug? Check. Tom Kerridges Hand and Flowers? Check. Pizza Hut? Check. Zizzi? Check. Loads more.
I have had some quite edible food in some of the crap chain restraunt/ gastropubbe places. I have eaten some crap in places that should know better.
I think after 6 years of COMPO rations contaminated with Salisbury Plain/ Otterburn sheep and cattle shit and 26 years of full rotating shift grabbing a kebab/ pizza/ pasty/ whatever between punch ups, stabbings, shootings, fatal road traffic accidents, suicides, beligerant puking shitting drunks, over Pimmsed Royal Ascot/ Henley Reggata goers and off their tits on whatever they could snort/ smoke/ inject festival lovers, my innards are fairly hardened.
Pot noodles, just like crisps, have gone posh. You've seen the umpty different hi-cuisine Japanese impostors?I am An Heathen as far as eating out goes. TGI Friday? Check. Nando's? Check. Planet Hollywood? Check. Mel's Diner? Check Noodle Bar? Check. Wimpy? Check McDonalds? Check, KFC? Check. Levi Roots (Stratford)? Check. Bills? Check. Harvester? Check. Toby Jug? Check. Tom Kerridges Hand and Flowers? Check. Pizza Hut? Check. Zizzi? Check. Loads more.
I have had some quite edible food in some of the crap chain restraunt/ gastropubbe places. I have eaten some crap in places that should know better.
I think after 6 years of COMPO rations contaminated with Salisbury Plain/ Otterburn sheep and cattle shit and 26 years of full rotating shift grabbing a kebab/ pizza/ pasty/ whatever between punch ups, stabbings, shootings, fatal road traffic accidents, suicides, beligerant puking shitting drunks, over Pimmsed Royal Ascot/ Henley Reggata goers and off their tits on whatever they could snort/ smoke/ inject festival lovers, my innards are fairly hardened.
All of which is the height of culinary excellence but you omitted to add Pot Noodle and Findus Crispy Pancakes...
Pot noodles, just like crisps, have gone posh. You've seen the umpty different hi-cuisine Japanese impostors?
Pot noodles, just like crisps, have gone posh. You've seen the umpty different hi-cuisine Japanese impostors?
I've discovered an instant noodle product that's even more downmarket than Pot Noodle - the brand is Kabuto and they sell them for 25p a packet in my local branch of Home Bargains.
They're great. I usually keep a supply in reserve for instant lunches when I CBA to eat anything with nutritional value.
You managed to resist the siren call of the M&S food hall next door, in favour of Home Bargains.
That takes some doing ;D
I am An Heathen as far as eating out goes. TGI Friday? Check. Nando's? Check. Planet Hollywood? Check. Mel's Diner? Check Noodle Bar? Check. Wimpy? Check McDonalds? Check, KFC? Check. Levi Roots (Stratford)? Check. Bills? Check. Harvester? Check. Toby Jug? Check. Tom Kerridges Hand and Flowers? Check. Pizza Hut? Check. Zizzi? Check. Loads more.
I have had some quite edible food in some of the crap chain restraunt/ gastropubbe places. I have eaten some crap in places that should know better.
I think after 6 years of COMPO rations contaminated with Salisbury Plain/ Otterburn sheep and cattle shit and 26 years of full rotating shift grabbing a kebab/ pizza/ pasty/ whatever between punch ups, stabbings, shootings, fatal road traffic accidents, suicides, beligerant puking shitting drunks, over Pimmsed Royal Ascot/ Henley Reggata goers and off their tits on whatever they could snort/ smoke/ inject festival lovers, my innards are fairly hardened.
All of which is the height of culinary excellence but you omitted to add Pot Noodle and Findus Crispy Pancakes...
Someone (possibly ian) should open a tragic hipster restaurant that serves the culinary delights of an 80s childhood (or at least the toned-down modern approximations thereof, now that half the ingredients have been banned). Anything with a catchy jingle or sugar in the top-three ingredients, basically.
I think I've seen that video. Did it end with them getting horribly confused by Yorkshire puddings?
You ate Putin? We probably don't want to know that.
Have we had Vesta curries yet?
While they might have some dubious merits warm, a pizza with haggis or doner kebab left to cool overnight looks the following morning like something a donkey has ejaculated over.
I'm pretty sure it's a standard topping offered by Dominos.
There's nothing wrong with pot noodles really, though I confess I've not had one for an age. I did have to be dragged from the selection in the Coop through (£1.25 for a Bombay Bad Boy). I'm sure we survived on them as students, I have fond memories of slurping down 'chicken' curry pot noodles.
You want posh though. I've hit the motherlode. Red Leicester Cheddars. Fucking awesome.
Why is Steak so expensive?*
I mean it's imported from Brazil or wherever at a thousand tonnes at a time, the Supermarket will sell you a half decent one for under a fiver and yet the accepted price in pubs and restaurants is +£20. All the chef has to do is throw it on the grill for a couple of minutes a side whilst he/she does something else, so that's about 20 seconds of labour to turn it once and throw it on a plate with a bit of rocket and a few triple cooked chips (1. par boiled, 2. deep fried 3. reheated).
It must be the highest margin product in any gastric pub in the country.
*Yes I know I can go to Flaming grill for a cheap one but the atmosphere is on a level with Wetherspoons
Why is Steak so expensive?*
I mean it's imported from Brazil or wherever at a thousand tonnes at a time, the Supermarket will sell you a half decent one for under a fiver and yet the accepted price in pubs and restaurants is +£20. All the chef has to do is throw it on the grill for a couple of minutes a side whilst he/she does something else, so that's about 20 seconds of labour to turn it once and throw it on a plate with a bit of rocket and a few triple cooked chips (1. par boiled, 2. deep fried 3. reheated).
It must be the highest margin product in any gastric pub in the country.
*Yes I know I can go to Flaming grill for a cheap one but the atmosphere is on a level with Wetherspoons
My father calls them gastric pubs.
(https://www.miele.co.uk/pmedia/30/Z17/20000084693-000-00_20000084693.jpg)
Indeed, I generally avoid, but I was dashing through London Bridge station as I had a train to catch and I foolishly thought, cheese and pickle, how can that go wrong? I don't really get Pret, I mean, it's 2018 is anyone surprised by humus in a sandwich. I especially don't get how they exist in places like NYC – awesome food choices abound, there's actual delis that will make sandwiches to order, but people queue to buy Pret sandwiches. It kind of has to be the result of mind control and some evil plan.
Anyway. If anyone is wondering what the weird red and white splodge is in the David Lloyd leisure centre car park in Chigwell, it's not the remains of an alien life form that failed to thrive on planet Earth, but my sandwich. Most annoying thing was that I had to hike twelve miles fuelled only by a bag of cheese and onion crisps.
Do you know how many different spellings exist for flavoured chickpea paste on the Sainsbury's website?I don't but I feel like having a go: hummus, humus, houmus, hoummus, hoummous, houmous, hummos, humos, houmos, hoummos, hummous, humous, hoummous, houmous, hoommus, hoomus, hoommous, hoomous, hoummos, houmos,hummuss, humuss, houmuss, hoummuss, hoummouss, houmouss, hummoss, humoss, houmoss, hoummoss, hummouss, humouss, hoummouss, houmouss, hoommuss, hoomuss, hoommouss, hoomouss, hoummoss, houmoss, and hummers.
There is a thread for "Spelling that makes etc."
Humus is soil particles and shit. Hummus is chickpea based shit.
It could be worse. You could have Hummers in your sandwich.Do you know how many different spellings exist for flavoured chickpea paste on the Sainsbury's website?I don't but I feel like having a go: hummus, humus, houmus, hoummus, hoummous, houmous, hummos, humos, houmos, hoummos, hummous, humous, hoummous, houmous, hoommus, hoomus, hoommous, hoomous, hoummos, houmos,hummuss, humuss, houmuss, hoummuss, hoummouss, houmouss, hummoss, humoss, houmoss, hoummoss, hummouss, humouss, hoummouss, houmouss, hoommuss, hoomuss, hoommouss, hoomouss, hoummoss, houmoss, and hummers.
Of course you could, you just have to order him from Sainsbury's website!It could be worse. You could have Hummers in your sandwich.Do you know how many different spellings exist for flavoured chickpea paste on the Sainsbury's website?I don't but I feel like having a go: hummus, humus, houmus, hoummus, hoummous, houmous, hummos, humos, houmos, hoummos, hummous, humous, hoummous, houmous, hoommus, hoomus, hoommous, hoomous, hoummos, houmos,hummuss, humuss, houmuss, hoummuss, hoummouss, houmouss, hummoss, humoss, houmoss, hoummoss, hummouss, humouss, hoummouss, houmouss, hoommuss, hoomuss, hoommouss, hoomouss, hoummoss, houmoss, and hummers.
It could be worse. You could have Hummers in your sandwich.Do you know how many different spellings exist for flavoured chickpea paste on the Sainsbury's website?I don't but I feel like having a go: hummus, humus, houmus, hoummus, hoummous, houmous, hummos, humos, houmos, hoummos, hummous, humous, hoummous, houmous, hoommus, hoomus, hoommous, hoomous, hoummos, houmos,hummuss, humuss, houmuss, hoummuss, hoummouss, houmouss, hummoss, humoss, houmoss, hoummoss, hummouss, humouss, hoummouss, houmouss, hoommuss, hoomuss, hoommouss, hoomouss, hoummoss, houmoss, and hummers.
The other thing that bugs me about my occasional forays into Pret sandwiches is their indecent love for large quantities of mayonnaise. This affliction is widely (and liberally) spread across the pre-packed sandwich world. We're not talking a schmear of pert and peppery mayo, they're adding it by the shovelful, and it's usually glutinous, flavour-depleted mucilage, that owes more to industrial hydrocarbons and awry chemical process than olive oil and egg yolks. It's the sort of stuff they advise you not to use on latex and rubber products.
Anyway, in other news, pita chips. Oh yes. Have I mentioned them? I should have. I ate another one the day. One is enough, trust me. Basically, some has had the low wattage idea of toasting bits of pita bread. This has the effect of making them taste like, I imagine, a five-year-old piece of pita bread. Or fresh plasterboard. It's dry bread, one sucks all the moisture out of your mouth, I imagine if you get to five you're probably as desiccated as King Tut under a sunlamp.
It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.largest brick structure in the world [/architectural nerd hat]
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
I thought that was the Stockport one, or does it depend on your definition of largest?It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.largest brick structure in the world [/architectural nerd hat]
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Constructed from the most bricks, I think.I thought that was the Stockport one, or does it depend on your definition of largest?It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.largest brick structure in the world [/architectural nerd hat]
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk
(brioche- for sausages??? WTF) or pizza base (!!!!!) then stage 1 filling then something else....
(brioche- for sausages??? WTF) or pizza base (!!!!!) then stage 1 filling then something else....
Is this real or did you dream an episode of Nathan Barley?
This place? (https://www.thesausagerevolution.co.uk/online-order)
Constructed from the most bricks, I think.I thought that was the Stockport one, or does it depend on your definition of largest?It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.largest brick structure in the world [/architectural nerd hat]
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk
A smidge under 4.5 miles in length - From London Bridge Station to Penny Hatch Bridge at Deptford Creek.
Starts out (at least) 15 (railway) lines wide.
That's a lot of bricks to chew through.
Out of curiosity, what are the stats on the Stockport one?
Constructed from the most bricks, I think.I thought that was the Stockport one, or does it depend on your definition of largest?It's true that I hang around under the train viaduct through Bermondsey like a hipster troll. Hackney is a bit too dangerous after the Vegan Pizza Incident. Dunno what else to call it other than craft beer. It's made by people rather than big machines and tastes like something.largest brick structure in the world [/architectural nerd hat]
Those pita chips have spread through London though. The principle that they may you drink more might be sound, but it's desperate sort of drinking to remove the mouth of clag. God knows, you don't want to be knocking back a pint of £20 barleywine in desperate effort to clear your mouth of what feels like the chewed-up cardboard aftermath of a large Ikea delivery.
I think the Bottleshop has started selling little pots of hum(m)us to go with them (coming from a sales background, I admire their upsellery) but really, I'd rather eat a fresh, warm pita with my hum(m)us, rather than a lump of dried pita.
Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk
A smidge under 4.5 miles in length - From London Bridge Station to Penny Hatch Bridge at Deptford Creek.
Starts out (at least) 15 (railway) lines wide.
That's a lot of bricks to chew through.
Out of curiosity, what are the stats on the Stockport one?
That's Plan A. Plan B is to see how many unstoned green olives I can eat in the next few days..... :jurek:
Mmm, tapenade :P
Mmm, tapenade :P
That's Plan A. Plan B is to see how many unstoned green olives I can eat in the next few days..... :jurek:
Chocolate chip Welshcakes.
WTF?
Has anyone here tried the Heinz 'Seriously Good' Cadbury's Creme Egg Mayonnaise?
??? :sick:
I have not...
Has anyone here tried the Heinz 'Seriously Good' Cadbury's Creme Egg Mayonnaise?
??? :sick:
I have not...
Good thinking!Has anyone here tried the Heinz 'Seriously Good' Cadbury's Creme Egg Mayonnaise?
??? :sick:
I have not...
WTF? No.
Are you sure that's not something left over from 1st April?
Green olive tapenade... my bog, it's a real thing https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/jan/20/olive-recipes-hugh-fearnley-whittingstall I've only ever had the black stuff....
Good idea, if you have the unskimmed milk to hand.
I'd forgotten the "full-fat" descriptor. I wonder who dreamt that one up. Gives you the idea that someone thinks people should be all embarrassed to put it on the supermarket check-out conveyor, like schoolboys trying to buy condoms in the 60s.
I suppose it's what we used to call "milk".
Bud never did have any taste.You'd be weiser to choose a different variety.
I used to hate school milk, point blank refused to drink it. Still can't stomach milk in it's liquid form
If it went through the cooler before your milk jug, I know people who'd say that's not straight from the cow. I expect some people would say the same about the jug, but they're weird.
Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?
And I'm sure you'll agree, that 'damp and clammy' is not the slogan you'd want applied to a sandwich.
Cheddar.Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?
Chorleywood.
Cheddar.Honestly, why can't I just get a decent French baguette, buttered with some actual cheese in this country?
Chorleywood.
https://www.cooksinfo.com/government-cheddar-cheese
Given that you won't get a decent French baguette, one of the better old style-ish sandwich shop that will make what you want in the Southbank vicinity is here (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.5063703,-0.1024228,3a,49.5y,39.98h,88.85t/data=!3m5!1e1!3m3!1sKlxdxXiHIlk3umSDzrrexA!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo3.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3DKlxdxXiHIlk3umSDzrrexA%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D31.027%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100). Their downside is that they must have had an american train them for their bap filling technique. A couple of doors away you can find the best (local) fry up. (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.5062466,-0.1020099,3a,70.9y,39.66h,85.73t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sgOgWW13S0rASRl2p-KReEg!2e0!7i16384!8i8192) (best, assuming you don't venture further south into the badlands)
Courgettes!
I will never, ever grow them again. I'm sick to death of them. Courgettes with everything and we still can't keep up with the cropping.
Also,
Courgettes
How the fuck do you make them taste of anything other than water?
Add salt and they taste of sea water.
Cut into disks, coat with paprika and fry and they taste of water.
A ratatouille would be greatly improved by their omission.
If you feed them to pigs they'll miraculously turn into bacon...... (can't remember if Basil is a carnivore or not. Too long since I've seen him :( )
I never really understood them raw in salads, they're just pointless. Only bother if you've griddled or grilled them till smoky. I did once quick pickle them (soak in hot vinegar, sugar and salt and let cool) but really, just get pickles out of a jar, it's quicker and they're better.You should put that into Bloody Marys.
Also, courgettes are only good when they are little, once they get big, it's the law of diminishing returns. Sometimes small stature isn't a disappointment, but gents, if you're brandishing a courgette in the bedroom, I suspect your returns will definitely be diminishing.
Mmmm, pickles. Jar-based awesome. I eat at least one industrial jar of pickled cucumbers every week. Then I drink the juice, like I'm some kind of dramatically off-kilter vampire.
Well there's courgette cake. I don't have a recipe but I have eaten it and it is... cake. And surely there must be courgette wine.
Courgettes!
I will never, ever grow them again. I'm sick to death of them. Courgettes with everything and we still can't keep up with the cropping.
Also,
Courgettes
How the fuck do you make them taste of anything other than water?
Add salt and they taste of sea water.
Cut into disks, coat with paprika and fry and they taste of water.
A ratatouille would be greatly improved by their omission.
If there's one thing I've learned about cooking is that people are scared by oil, salt, and heat. A decent courgette sauce takes a cup of olive oil, you're sautéing off all the water and not simply stewing the bloody things in their own juices.
Basically, whatever you do, you need to cook off all the water. They're OK on pizza if sliced very finely so they go crisp, but really, if you're going to do that, try potato.
I confess my ongoing antipathy to aubergines though. I've never managed to make a ratatouille worth bothering with.
I do like saying baba ghanoush though, admittedly because it sounds a bit like it might be one the lesser lieutenants of Cthulhu.
Imam Bayaldi was the chap who taught Abdul Alhazred everything he knew about tentacles, before founding a chain of bargain supermarkets.
But I do so love his recipe book.
Things I didn't know until recently: Rudolf Hess was a vegan.
Things I didn't know until recently: Rudolf Hess was a vegan.
Rant ???
The defining feature of a curry is surely that it has Stuffs in some sort of piquant and, well, curry-flavoured sauce. Not dry chicken, dry rice, two manky lumps...
What the actual fuck, Southern's stupid train wifi blocks beer-related web sites. You can't download beer directly through the internet, I've tried.
It's possibly wrong to have gin for breakfast,Research needed.
It's possibly wrong to have gin for breakfast,Research needed.
It's Ian's Boursin for breakfast that makes me blench. Anyone for garlic toothpaste?
IMHO the worst breakfast food is a traditional BRITISH fry-up. I've nothing against fried food, but I don't understand how anyone can stomach it first thing in the morning. :hand:Wot ? Even after riding through the night to the coast ? :-)
IMHO the worst breakfast food is a traditional BRITISH fry-up. I've nothing against fried food, but I don't understand how anyone can stomach it first thing in the morning. :hand:Wot ? Even after riding through the night to the coast ? :-)
And I don't know anyone who puts peaches on their cornflakes either.
And I don't know anyone who puts peaches on their cornflakes either.
And I don't know anyone who puts peaches on their cornflakes either."Walking on the beaches looking at the cornflakes"
I cannot find prepared lamb casserole mixes locally bah.
I cannot find prepared lamb casserole mixes locally bah.
Raisins. You wouldn't think it possible to spoil them, but all of a sudden every bagful we get seems to have been drenched in evil-tasting oil. "Sunflower" it says on the packet but the <obligatory fruity language> stuff tastes more like extract of beached whale. Bleh.
Another thing, too: all of a sudden, dark raisins have vanished from the shops and we're left with pale, boring sultanas tasting vaguely of dead fish, a little sweetness and some kind of mild acid (what would it be, lactic?). The last decent dark ones we had dated from about three months ago, and had a beautiful rounded flavour and no vile oiliness. Then we had some mediocre Trader Joe mixed ones (Aldi/US brand, which maybe explains it) and then even those were displaced by horrible bland sultanas. :sick:
Bah.
FFS! Does it matter if they stick together? It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
:thumbsup:FFS! Does it matter if they stick together? It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
The lumps count as single raisins if you're on a diet.
Ah. I don't think I ever gave mine raisins but I do remember when he used to come back from school and say "I ate the healthy bits first." Didn't last long of course... He hated the school lunches so always sent him in with a lunch box. Seems almost like it must have been a different son and probably a different father!It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
Coming out as a solid lump helps stop them ending up shoved up the child’s nose. Not lumpy enough ime.
We used to refill those little red boxesI did that! And I used to refill fruit shoot bottles with supermarket apple and blackcurrent.
Miss Dan the Elder managed all by herself.
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That's working class parenting. Middle class parents make a carefully calculated decision that it is in their offspring's best long-term interests to learn to breathe through one nostril.It's not as if they are welded into a lump.
I used to get those mini boxes of raisins as a 'healthy' snack for my son* when he was tiny, and quite often they would come out as a solid lump.
*one for the 'middle-class parenting tips' thread, if there is such a thing
Coming out as a solid lump helps stop them ending up shoved up the child’s nose. Not lumpy enough ime.
I never shoved them up my kids' noses. Is this a modern part of "parenting"?
I did that! And I used to refill fruit shoot bottles with supermarket apple and blackcurrent.
o hai mr heinz!Meekro-Whave baked beenz?
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
o hai mr heinz!Meekro-Whave baked beenz?
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
Shirley not.
o hai mr heinz!Meekro-Whave baked beenz?
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
Shirley not.
But yes! They come in little plastic pots containing the equivalent of one (1) small tin of Beanz and have the advantage of not slicing the end off your finger when you rinse them out before bunging them in the recycling bin. Peel back the top, nuke for eighty (80) seconds and half a piping-hot serving of beany goodness is all yours.
Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Iron Man...
Heinz fucked their beans up a while ago. We have jumped ship to Branstons.Shall look out for them.
Is the little plastic pot the convenience food equivalent of a ramekin, the uber-poncy way of serving beans?o hai mr heinz!Meekro-Whave baked beenz?
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
Shirley not.
But yes! They come in little plastic pots containing the equivalent of one (1) small tin of Beanz and have the advantage of not slicing the end off your finger when you rinse them out before bunging them in the recycling bin. Peel back the top, nuke for eighty (80) seconds and a piping-hot serving of beany goodness is all yours.
Branston belongs to Mizkan now. Most of the brand crossovers are just licensing - but Branston beans are still made by Premier Foods at Sutton and they have the pickle spice recipe from when they owned Branston.
To my knowledge, Nestle have never owned Branston Pickle.
Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Iron Man...
At some point this week I plan to make homemade baked beans with veggie sausages. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to fly once I've eaten that.Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.Iron Man...
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
At some point this week I plan to make homemade baked beans with veggie sausages. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to fly once I've eaten that.Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.Iron Man...
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Blast off!
Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Iron Man...
At some point this week I plan to make homemade baked beans with veggie sausages. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to fly once I've eaten that.
Beans in plastic. It's the Devil's work. Beans in cans. Beans in cans. BEANS IN CANS.
I ate a can on Sunday that was best before August 2018. But weren't we all.
Iron Man...
At some point this week I plan to make homemade baked beans with veggie sausages. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to fly once I've eaten that.
A tortilla rolled up without the ends folded over is a tube not a wrap :demon:
A tortilla rolled up without the ends folded over is a tube not a wrap :demon:
o hai mr heinz!
I don’t know what you've done to your Reduced Salt & Sugar Snap-Pots of Baked Beanz, but lately they’ve taken to jumping out of the pot and all over the inside of the microwave. Plz to put them back the way they used to be.
kthxbai
Apple manufacturers! Stop with those bloody sticky labels.
Apple manufacturers! Stop with those bloody sticky labels.
+1
& pears and many loose fruits.
Disappeared from Waitrose too. Only offering coconut cream. Can that be diluted to make milk? ???
Plenty in our Waitrose. I've given up on ever seeing tomato puree again though.I've got a half tube in the fridge. What will you give me for it?
I still have ¾ of a tube in the fridge. I'm fairly sure Sains listed it on their website when I last looked, which implies it's available in NW London.Plenty in our Waitrose. I've given up on ever seeing tomato puree again though.I've got a half tube in the fridge. What will you give me for it?
recovered pineapple mush
recovered pineapple mush
Presumably that's a euphemism for liquefied spiky bits.
What, is there some sort of national coconut milk shortage now? Are there thousands of tins lost in a container atFolkestoneFelixstowe?
I can't get the stuff reliably, Sainsbo's subbed me a super expensive tin of Amoy last week which was fine but now they deny all knowledge of it.
I was going to distress purchase a 4 pack of Biona Organic from Ama$on but their reviewers swing wildly between 'amazing' and 'fucking vile'.
There's none in the house and it's the weekend and I don't have a sodding piña colada! >:( (Oh, the huge manatee).
There also seems to be a Marmite shortage. Maybe its because it is (or at least was) based on a by-product of the brewing industry. Presumably with all the pubs closed there is a shortage of yeast extract.
What, is there some sort of national coconut milk shortage now? Are there thousands of tins lost in a container atFolkestoneFelixstowe?
I can't get the stuff reliably, Sainsbo's subbed me a super expensive tin of Amoy last week which was fine but now they deny all knowledge of it.
I was going to distress purchase a 4 pack of Biona Organic from Ama$on but their reviewers swing wildly between 'amazing' and 'fucking vile'.
There's none in the house and it's the weekend and I don't have a sodding piña colada! >:( (Oh, the huge manatee).
Sorry, it is our fault.
MrsC has been stockpiling the stuff (along with dried pulses in 10 varieties. Bought in 1-2kg amounts each).
I think we currently have over 10 tins of coconut milk, plus coconut cream.
The person responsible for the design of the lid-cum-grinder on the top of the wee jars of Hot & Smoky Chipotle sold in Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles needs badly to be tracked down and sent into internal exile in Edmonton with only dried chilli flakes and dead dogs to eat.
There also seems to be a Marmite shortage. Maybe its because it is (or at least was) based on a by-product of the brewing industry. Presumably with all the pubs closed there is a shortage of yeast extract.
Marmite-flavoured products are HUGELY priced, compared with the individual components.
Marmite-flavoured products are HUGELY priced, compared with the individual components.But where can you get non Marmite flavoured Twiglets cheap so you can add your own Marmite ?
Marmite-flavoured products are HUGELY priced, compared with the individual components.But where can you get non Marmite flavoured Twiglets cheap so you can add your own Marmite ?
Sainsbury's Pretzels aren't Twiglet-shaped but are otherwise similar...
There also seems to be a Marmite shortage. Maybe its because it is (or at least was) based on a by-product of the brewing industry. Presumably with all the pubs closed there is a shortage of yeast extract.
Checking today, our Tesco has loads of Marmite containing products (crunchy and smooth peanut butter, Hummus) but no actual Marmite >:(
Normally, I check where my veg comes from, I'm the annoying person who gets in your way reading at all the labels. But onions, you know, I just figured they came from somewhere local. I never associated onions with distant exoticism. They're not exactly avocados or pomegranates. They're, well, onions. They grow here in the UK, which has the perfect climate for growing onions.FFS From whom do you buy your veg?
Anyone, a bag of them fell out of the cupboard earlier and I glanced at the label. Fucking New Zealand. Someone shipped onions – a crop that grows in the UK and can be stored – all the way from quite possibly the most distant location possible.
Probably cheaper to swap harvests around the globe than tie up capital in storage and the physical costs of storage are probably no less and maybe more than putting the onions on a slow boat.
On another topic (and I do acknowledge that this one won't touch your heart) English asparagus has been kicking off for the best part of the last eight weeks.
The stuff that Sainos is selling is flown in from Mexico.
I think most of the supermarkets have Asparagus (and the last stuff I bought came from Peru) and British Asparagus, and never the twain shall meet.
And can I get kohlrabi from anywhere? No.
it seems madness to be shipping a crop across the world that can and are grown locally.
it seems madness to be shipping a crop across the world that can and are grown locally.
I imagine the excuse is some kind of British onion shortage due to Brexit.
And can I get kohlrabi from anywhere? No.Just ask for rutabaga. You will be fine.
There is a farm shop nearby, but I mostly end up getting distracted by the beer garden. Though it's doubly tough as there's also a taproom. At some point between the two, the provenance of onions becomes a subsidiary concern.
Grumble. I over did my poached eggs.
Grumble. I over did my poached eggs.
Ooh, I hate it when that happens. I couldn't be arsed with poached eggs till I hit my 40s - they seemed like a weak, worthy, uninteresting version of proper (i.e. fried) eggs. Then I somehow became a convert, so now any failure of timing feels like a setback, a wasted opportunity, given that each episode of poached egg consumption is already making up for lost time...
The reason it matters is because a griddle - an actual, real, what-a-griddle-has-always-been griddle - is still a chuffing griddle, and if you're trying to shop for one, it's really bloody tiresome to find thousands of listings for the WRONG BLOODY THING.
Like this one mrcharly?
https://www.nisbets.co.uk/vogue-reversible-cast-iron-double-griddle-pan/m650
Griddle combines the words grid and grille, so it's no wonder people expect ridges!
I did see somewhere "girdle" listed as a British variant of griddle.Yes as in girdle scones, which I think are like welshcakes without the dried fruit.
Griddle combines the words grid and grille, so it's no wonder people expect ridges!
To me, griddle combines the words griddle and griddle, so I expect a griddle.
Griddle combines the words grid and grille, so it's no wonder people expect ridges!
To me, griddle combines the words griddle and griddle, so I expect a griddle.
This is probably the biggest revelation since I discovered the "broil" wasn't a typo.
Griddle combines the words grid and grille, so it's no wonder people expect ridges!
To me, griddle combines the words griddle and griddle, so I expect a griddle.
See also pulchritudinous which is an incredibly ugly word.
This is probably the biggest revelation since I discovered the "broil" wasn't a typo.
Although it's not actually a typo, broil is never going to feel - to me - like what it purports to mean. Even though I know, I don't care. I can't use it and mean it. It sounds wet.
Sort of the opposite of fricassee, really. A word that sounds so light and skippy, so crisp, so redolent of frying, fritters, sautéing and frisbees...there's no way that deserves to mean a stew of any sort.
A pox on hamburgers! Like Germany, Alsace has a wonderful tradition of sausage kiosks where you could stop for lunch on a ride and refuel with a merguez or rotwürst sandwich, washed down with a can of something. Over the last couple of years the ones I usually favour have been taken over and are now run by pimply-faced youffs of both sexes flogging god-damned hamburgers. :sick: :sick: :sick:
With the previous iteration of our Bosch gas hob, I used to be able to turn the teeny tiny ring to "barely there" and cook my porridge without boiling it to deth. With your new Flame Select device I can only choose your pre set flames, the smallest of which is not low enough, effectively not solving a problem that didn't exist.I had this with my previous hob - I found that a diffuser helped. JLP sell them.
With the previous iteration of our Bosch gas hob, I used to be able to turn the teeny tiny ring to "barely there" and cook my porridge without boiling it to deth. With your new Flame Select device I can only choose your pre set flames, the smallest of which is not low enough, effectively not solving a problem that didn't exist.
With the previous iteration of our Bosch gas hob, I used to be able to turn the teeny tiny ring to "barely there" and cook my porridge without boiling it to deth. With your new Flame Select device I can only choose your pre set flames, the smallest of which is not low enough, effectively not solving a problem that didn't exist.
With the previous iteration of our Bosch gas hob, I used to be able to turn the teeny tiny ring to "barely there" and cook my porridge without boiling it to deth. With your new Flame Select device I can only choose your pre set flames, the smallest of which is not low enough, effectively not solving a problem that didn't exist.
Just need to remember to do it in short blasts and stir regularly.
You really don’t want porridge boiling over in your microwave. DAMHIKT.
Ah, I see we have moved away from porridge onto Welsh Chips. ;D
Ah, I see we have moved away from porridge onto Welsh Chips. ;D
My erstwhile local chippy (Y Mabinogion, Bethesda) used to do a regular and a large chips. Figuring that large isn't generally twice the size of regular, and as neither of us were massively hungry, I once got us a large to share.
Four pounds.
Not sterling: 4lb.
Lasted a week of chip omelettes* every day.
*A discovery when working in Tanzania: chipsi mayai (literally "chips eggs"). A 500 Tanzanian-shilling streetfood treat, of a two-egg-and-handful-of-chips omelette.
Ah, I see we have moved away from porridge onto Welsh Chips. ;D
My erstwhile local chippy (Y Mabinogion, Bethesda) used to do a regular and a large chips. Figuring that large isn't generally twice the size of regular, and as neither of us were massively hungry, I once got us a large to share.
Four pounds.
Not sterling: 4lb.
Lasted a week of chip omelettes* every day.
*A discovery when working in Tanzania: chipsi mayai (literally "chips eggs"). A 500 Tanzanian-shilling streetfood treat, of a two-egg-and-handful-of-chips omelette.
Was Brân Fendigaidd a regular customer?
Macmillan coffee morning at work tomorrow, so in a fit of the vapours I thought I'd be sociable and go into the office.
Make lemon polenta cake. Put it in oven. Return 40m later and it's still pale and wobbly. Oven is barely 120C, not 160. Bollocks. Finish it off on fan but it's a bit dried out and presumably one of the top or bottom element is gone. The oven was new in April. :-X
That's going to bugger my bread making schedule.
Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
no, no,no!
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
no, no,no!Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
no, no,no!Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
Each square, a chunky big mouthful...
no, no,no!Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
Each square, a chunky big mouthful...
Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies.Where I come from, and when I was young, they were called batter pudding - singular.
Yebbut remember It's Not For Girls!Each square, a chunky big mouthful...no, no,no!Dear The Internet.Dear kthxbai,
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence. Yorkies - well, maybe didn't hear that one till a bit later, but it's still been decades now, and it may conceivably be just as old as roasties. Citations welcome.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
A Yorkie is a milk cocolate brick, chunky and thick...
Ooh I like those. Though I've only ever had them homemade. Can't work out what the herb on top is. Basil? Anyway, they're potato cakes to me.Dear The Internet.
The sort of potatoes often served with a joint of roast beef/lamb/pork ect ect are roast potatoes, not roasties. Similarly the batter puddings served with roast beef are Yorkshire puddings, not yorkies..kthxbai.
Dear kthxbai,
They've been called roasties since long before I was troubling your daily existence.
Love and hugs,
The Internet
Personally, I feel quite justified in keeping a package in the freezer so I can satisfy any guest who should have the temerity to ask for "roesties"
(https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/images/products/roesti-potato-fritters-frozen__66957_pe180435_s5.jpg?f=xl)
They're Yorkies. I don't call them that, and probably never will - I call them Yorkshire puddings, as that's what my (non-local) Ma always called them, so it's stuck with me. But plenty of people in Yorkshire (and everywhere else) call them that, and no amount of insisting on their full name will change that.
They're Yorkies. I don't call them that, and probably never will - I call them Yorkshire puddings, as that's what my (non-local) Ma always called them, so it's stuck with me. But plenty of people in Yorkshire (and everywhere else) call them that, and no amount of insisting on their full name will change that.
My mum was born and bred in Pontefract and she calls them Yorkies, which is good enough for me.
Macaroni cheese, just like mama used to make.
Talking of Americanisms, I walked past a branch of Five Guys last night and noticed a sign on their wall claiming that they offered an "authentic all-American experience", as if this were a selling point. Absolute opposite for me, mate.
Macaroni cheese, just like mama used to make.
Talking of Americanisms, I walked past a branch of Five Guys last night and noticed a sign on their wall claiming that they offered an "authentic all-American experience", as if this were a selling point. Absolute opposite for me, mate.
I had positive experiences in USA diners. The sort where you sit at a counter, and the cook is cooking directly on a huge hotplate opposite you. Closest I've come to that in the UK is in the much-missed fisherman's cafe in Whitby.
Seriously doubt that 5 guys can replicate that experience.
Macaroni cheese, just like mama used to make.
Talking of Americanisms, I walked past a branch of Five Guys last night and noticed a sign on their wall claiming that they offered an "authentic all-American experience", as if this were a selling point. Absolute opposite for me, mate.
I had positive experiences in USA diners. The sort where you sit at a counter, and the cook is cooking directly on a huge hotplate opposite you. Closest I've come to that in the UK is in the much-missed fisherman's cafe in Whitby.
Seriously doubt that 5 guys can replicate that experience.
I think Ian is using chatgpt to write reviews.
Salmon is an overrated fish.
There. I've said it.
I'm very partial to smoked salmon (although smoke trout is superior in every way). braised, pan-fried, baked salmon is just meh. Would rather eat mackerel.
I think Ian is using chatgpt to write reviews.
Salmon is an overrated fish.
There. I've said it.
I'm very partial to smoked salmon (although smoke trout is superior in every way). braised, pan-fried, baked salmon is just meh. Would rather eat mackerel.
+1. Love smoked salmon but I don't like the taste of unsmoked salmon.
I don't know a way to slow-cook beef that makes it tougher.
They've posted my review in full!It'll be a bargain at 10p off next week.
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
They've posted my review in full!
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
I usually get the 1kg tubs of Whole Earth crunchy
Partner bought a kilo of the same PB from Sainsbury's just before Christmas for just over a fiver I think. I've a £6.80 tub onorder for next week. It still seems the cheapest way to buy it.They've posted my review in full!390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...The headline inflation figure is a very misleading under-representation of the facts, isn't it - some things have gone up hardly at all, but it seems to be the basics that have been hit hardest by price rises. A 500g pack of linguine in Tesco was 55p in recent memory, now 90p.
I was in Sainsbury's the other day and had intended to buy some peanut butter. I usually get the 1kg tubs of Whole Earth crunchy* which not so long ago were around the £4.50 mark, iirc. Current price in Sainsbury's is £6.80, which means it has gone from being a staple to a luxury.
They had it for £5.50 in Waitrose yesterday, which was marked as a discounted price.
*the best peanut butter there is. Fact. This is not open to discussion.
Does this peanut butter ^^^^ turn into concrete overnight like others?
I have seen you and you are NOT wider than you are tall.
I have seen you and you are NOT wider than you are tall.
You haven't seen me very recently...
Does this peanut butter ^^^^ turn into concrete overnight like others?
Is it Meridian you're thinking of? Really not keen on that one - not least because it does tend to separate very easily.
No, Whole Earth doesn't do that.
I have seen you and you are NOT wider than you are tall.
You haven't seen me very recently...
;D
There are very few foods I cannot trust myself with. Cheese. as a food group I can, just about - Vieux Mimolette, 2 year matured Gouda, no way no how. The other food in that danger group and exponentially easier to acquire is, of course, peanut butter. Would you like some ideas you may (?) not have tried? On a spoon, with raisins? As a sandwich, with tomato?(this might sound odd but it REALLY works) On home baked wholemeal or white toast, dough with caraway seeds added? and of course, mixed with marmite. You're welcome.
Can you put that coleslaw on a ham and pineapple pizza?Not something I would ever consider doing, but if that's to your taste I won't be judgmental.
...I won't be judgmental.
Not publicly, anyway.
They've posted my review in full!
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
I was nearly right.They've posted my review in full!It'll be a bargain at 10p off next week.
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
Sent from my motorola edge 20 using Tapatalk
I was nearly right.They've posted my review in full!It'll be a bargain at 10p off next week.
390g carton was 40p when I ordered it last night and 60p when I got it today...
Sent from my motorola edge 20 using Tapatalk
Sent from my motorola edge 20 using Tapatalk
A packet of sliced Garlic sausage at Lidl was 75p not that long ago. I think it was Polish. Today in new packaging so probably a new supplier, £1.49. Camembert has now doubled in price also.Lidl define the packaging- that doesn't mean anything other than range change. Could be the same recipe from the same factory. It might mean the factory could no longer afford to produce to the 75p price point- it's not always retailer gouging. Just usually.
Mr Kiplings French Fancies were the thing of my childhood (along with the noble if slightly treasonous Battenburg and a more patriotic Victoria Sponge on a Saturday evening). French Fancies were more of a Sunday afternoon cake. No one wanted the pink. Of course, my father got the chocolate ones, and my sister would only eat the lemon ones or have a big cry baby.
...In other news, a deer once stole my Bakewell tart...
I don't usually read the instructions, but we're all familiar with the common cook's bugbear of recipes that claim onions can be be browned in five minutes, a feat only possible if you've got a flamethrower; the instruction on the back of my smoked haddock package last night took things in the opposite direction and claimed I should poach it for '19 minutes.' Impressive precision, but really, surely a thin piece of haddock poaches in a few minutes? Nineteen minutes. Stop being mental Waitrose.Restaurants 'brown' onions rapidly by throwing white sugar in the pan.
As it was, I threw it raw in my pot of macaroni cheese and made magic macaroni smoked haddock rarebit. Took about 10 minutes to brown and yes the fish was cooked.
Even with sugar you can’t brown them in 5 mins. There’s an article (https://slate.com/human-interest/2012/05/how-to-cook-onions-why-recipe-writers-lie-and-lie-about-how-long-they-take-to-caramelize.html) somewhere where a chef tries all the different ways and can’t get them browned under 30 mins. Lies from Big Kitchen.