Christmas Presents You Just Don't Want to Receive

[Cpt Sisko]

Okay, we've all recieved naff Christmas Jumpers, box sets of Smellies we'll never use or Books we'll never read, but as an timely and amusing thread, let have a few ideas for thing you most definately not want to find under the Christmas Trees.

Obviously this is a cycling forun, but as as long as it's not too far off topics, let's have them.

My starter for ten.  http://www.bloondesign.com/springtime/02

[Peter]

Oh, I don't know - I thought she looked nice.

[Basil]

No more bicycle themed tat please.  Just because it's got a bicycle on it doesn't make it not tat. 
A pair of cuff links with little bicycles on.  Wtf?  A tie clip with a bicycle on.  Wtf would I use that for?
Bicycle calendars, bicycle note books, nasty aftershave with a bicycle on the label, etc.
And for dog's sake, no more bloody socks with bicycles on them.  I've already got a drawer full.

People get very pleased with themselves with their 'personalised gifts'.  I think it just shows that they don't know me at all.  They think of me and all they see is 'bicycle'.

[hellymedic]

Cut flowers.
I have little available horizontal surface, cannot fill and carry a vase and probably won't be able to walk to wherever the vase has been placed to see and appreciate them.
In less than a fortnight, my friend's generous gesture will have become a stinky mulch of decaying vegetable matter.
I like flowers elsewhere, just NIMBR!¹

Yours ungratefully...

1) Not In My Back Room

[Kim]

No more bicycle themed tat please.  Just because it's got a bicycle on it doesn't make it not tat.
[...]

This!

[Karla]

Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain

[mrcharly-YHT]

Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain

I thought this was quite ingenious

‘bicycle-shaped’ biscuits that were perfectly obviously Mickey Mouse shaped biscuits handed over upside-down by a 10-year-old who was openly laughing at you over this ‘deception’, and who then ate them for you.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Christmas is fun, but most presents are one I don't want to receive. Except edibles.

[Kim]

Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain

Not only does that one demonstrate all the understanding of bike frame engineering of a council line-painter, but it's an ergonomic failure as well.

[Jurek]

Oh my! That should be nominated for some sort of award ....

[Basil]

Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain

Gosh.  Spot on.

[rogerzilla]

Clothes.  I choose my own clothes.

And live music tickets.  Let's be honest, most bands aren't very good live, it's too loud* so I have to wear earplugs in order to hear anything but crackling and ringing, and I have the sort of hearing which doesn't really separate sounds so I will just nod at you all evening because I haven't a clue what you're saying over the din.  Just buy me the CD so I can rip it.

*my hearing is relatively undamaged compared to most people's of my age

[Karla]

Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain

Not only does that one demonstrate all the understanding of bike frame engineering of a council line-painter, but it's an ergonomic failure as well.

I see you're dressing thematically for black Friday there.

[Feanor]

This, dear readers, is a Pizza Wheel.
It is, however, so flimsy that it would break when faced with even the flimsiest of pizza.


Pizza wheel by Ron Lowe, on Flickr

[Kim]

Do we need to relocate to The Gallery for a YACFers looking annoyed with cycling-themed tat thread?

I see you're dressing thematically for black Friday there.

I usually do.

[Feanor]

Yea, probably.
But here's another horror before we do...


Tie by Ron Lowe, on Flickr

[hellymedic]

This, dear readers, is a Pizza Wheel.
It is, however, so flimsy that it would break when faced with even the flimsiest of pizza.


Pizza wheel by Ron Lowe, on Flickr

Thread winner!

[Karla]

I've got one of those too!  I can confirm it is as useful as a one-wheeled Chopper with a puncture. 

[Basil]

I am loving this thread.  Several of us have now realised that we are not alone.

[Cpt Sisko]

Yea, probably.
But here's another horror before we do...


Tie by Ron Lowe, on Flickr

Yep, I've got one of those that someone bought for me one year though mine is CTC.

[robgul]

Fed up with bicycle-themed tat?  Dr Hutch feels your pain

Not only does that one demonstrate all the understanding of bike frame engineering of a council line-painter, but it's an ergonomic failure as well.

I see you're dressing thematically for black Friday there.

Nah, I've seen Kim probably 4 or 5 times and she's always been dressed in black .... black's the new hi-viz for cyclists!

Rob

[rogerzilla]

Visigoth?

[ElyDave]

Christmas is fun, but most presents are one I don't want to receive. Except edibles.

+1,

much as I like Christmas, I can generally buy stuff that I want when I want it, and people buying me other stuff for Christmas generally fails to tick the "stuff that I want" box

[hellymedic]

Christmas is fun, but most presents are one I don't want to receive. Except edibles.

+1,

much as I like Christmas, I can generally buy stuff that I want when I want it, and people buying me other stuff for Christmas generally fails to tick the "stuff that I want" box

+1

[CrinklyLion]

I have one of those pizza wheels too, somewhere in the TPoCs.

There's also a nasty led fake candle and a pair of sooper-dooper extra toasty warm (and remarkably ugly) socks. For me, once christened "the human torch" because of my tendency to do things like riding over the moors to Whitby in October, wearing 3/4s and my vest...