My First Audax

[Pancho]

I must brush up my knowledge of sprocket sizes and gear ratios though. Not knowing what sizes my rear sprockets were clearly marked me down as a 'newbie'. Any advice on good responses to the opening gambit 'no proper audaxer needs a 53t front chainring' will be much appreciated...

IME, audaxers are strangely disappointed when I reply to the inevitable gear questions with "I have no idea what you're talking about. These gears came with the bike. I'm told there are 30 but on hills I wish there were more".

[Wowbagger]

"I just push the little plastic levers."

[Cycling Viking]

Push the plastic levers and hope it hurts less - if it does great, if it doesnt push it the other way! Simple

[Dave]

I must brush up my knowledge of sprocket sizes and gear ratios though. Not knowing what sizes my rear sprockets were clearly marked me down as a 'newbie'. Any advice on good responses to the opening gambit 'no proper audaxer needs a 53t front chainring' will be much appreciated...

I think on refection that this came out a bit more negative than it was meant to. In a geeky way it was quite interesting listening to the couple of blokes in their late 60s talking about racing in the 1950s/1960s and getting the LBS to build you a bespoke screw on cassette, which then lead on to a discussion of bonking in the Lakes...

[LEE]

I must brush up my knowledge of sprocket sizes and gear ratios though. Not knowing what sizes my rear sprockets were clearly marked me down as a 'newbie'. Any advice on good responses to the opening gambit 'no proper audaxer needs a 53t front chainring' will be much appreciated...

IME, audaxers are strangely disappointed when I reply to the inevitable gear questions with "I have no idea what you're talking about. These gears came with the bike. I'm told there are 30 but on hills I wish there were more".

Last time I saw you Pancho you were in difficulty on the last few km to Denmead.  That wasn't a gear-ratio issue, that was a "bonked" issue.  They haven't invented a low enough ratio to deal with that.

It's a good time to remind the original poster to eat/snack regularly until 100km rides become your base distance.  Most hardened Audaxers will have forgotten that it's easy to run out of fuel after 40-50 miles when you are new to this game.  You tend to remember every time you have 'bonked'. 

Never wait until you are hungry to snack.

Signs you have bonked:

1) Trying to force gear levers into a non-existent gear <1st.
2) Finding flat roads incredibly steep
3) Day-dreaming about Pies/Cakes
4) Checking that your brakes are not binding (they won't be)
5) Wishing you'd remembered LEE's advice to eat about an hour ago

[Hummers]

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your first Audax, Dave.

It is addictive, you have been warned.

Any advice on good responses to the opening gambit 'no proper audaxer needs a 53t front chainring' will be much appreciated...

Ah, you see there is always some well meaning soul who is keen to offer you a well placed, unsolicited word of discouragement. "Proper Audaxer", what complete and utter cock dandruff.

My suggestion is that your response could be to just stare at the 'proper Audaxer', move up to him, take a big sniff and say "I don't know how to break this to you but you really do smell of BO and yes, *sniff again* stale wee. Do you mind starting a bit early? It's just that when it starts to warm up I expect you'll really start to stink like a dead Badger."

Never fails and with a bit of luck he'll leave his Brevet card behind as he storms out muttering on about the good old days etc...

Hope this helps.

H

[Fixedwheelnut]

Push the plastic levers and hope it hurts less - if it does great, if it doesnt push it the other way! Simple

"I just push the little plastic levers."

 What levers?



well done Dave 

[dkahn400]

In a geeky way it was quite interesting listening to the couple of blokes in their late 60s talking about racing in the 1950s/1960s and getting the LBS to build you a bespoke screw on cassette, ...

That would have been a block.

 

[Ian H]

In a geeky way it was quite interesting listening to the couple of blokes in their late 60s talking about racing in the 1950s/1960s and getting the LBS to build you a bespoke screw on cassette, ...

That would have been a block.

 

Or, occasionally, a 'cluster'.

[Salvatore]

Well, that was fun. I'm going to have to do one of those again.

Not knowing what sizes my rear sprockets were clearly marked me down as a 'newbie'. Any advice on good responses to the opening gambit 'no proper audaxer needs a 53t front chainring' will be much appreciated...

You may not realise it, and you might not like facing up to the fact, but you are a proper audaxer, and there's no going back.

[Julian]

Any advice on good responses to the opening gambit 'no proper audaxer needs a 53t front chainring' will be much appreciated...

If the said "proper Audaxer" is grey of tooth and beard, I find that a witticism in Latin, tossed off, as it were, usually prompts a feeble laugh as they desperately rack their brains back to their grammar school days.

Me transmitte sursum, Caledonii! is appropriate to most occasions.

It will also give you the much needed psychological boost of knowing that whilst you may be unfamiliar with 53t sprockets and 1950s cassettes, they're going to spend the next 100k puzzling over what you meant.

[Dave]

You may not realise it, and you might not like facing up to the fact, but you are a proper audaxer, and there's no going back.

I'm not sure that doing a single 100 makes me a proper audaxer, more just someone who's done an audax. I think I'll call myself a proper audaxer once I've done a couple of 200s.

[Marmitegeoff]

You may not realise it, and you might not like facing up to the fact, but you are a proper audaxer, and there's no going back.

I'm not sure that doing a single 100 makes me a proper audaxer, more just someone who's done an audax. I think I'll call myself a proper audaxer once I've done a couple of 200s.

It does not take that long,  I found that I enjoyed them so much after the 2nd or 3rd 100k  that I realised that I was addicted.  I was condemed to spend the next ?? years cycling along the back lanesof the country.

Geoff

[Hummers]

I'm not sure that doing a single 100 makes me a proper audaxer, more just someone who's done an audax. I think I'll call myself a proper audaxer once I've done a couple of 200s.

You in scaly clutches of the AUK now, there is no escape.. 

H

[Wowbagger]

You didn't say: did you actually make eye contact with anybody?

[Dave]

You didn't say: did you actually make eye contact with anybody?

Yep. Was that a bad thing?

[Wowbagger]

You didn't say: did you actually make eye contact with anybody?

Yep. Was that a bad thing?

Dunno. Never tried it.