Assorted Tips for Randonneurs

[Alouicious]

Don't leave home without a pocket pack of tissues. (Now very cheap from Pound Shops but extortionate from Boots at stations.)

Oops,, What a giveaway....

[Alouicious]

Get a couple of the plastic spoons from McFlurrys.

When you arrive at a control well before it opens, you can get them out and entertain the stamp judge.


Better still. Two Campagnolo Carbon Fibre espresso spoons.

[Chris N]

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.

[Alouicious]

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet.

Don't believe ANything you read on the Internet.

[Alouicious]

In high temperatures make sure that you cool down in the last kilometre approaching a control. If you don't you may well collapse. The metabolic rate that is sustainable with 30 kph of cooling air is not sustainable if you suddenly stop.
In a similar vein, the best treatment for the onset of heatstroke is to go into a supermarket and hang around the freezers with bags of frozen vegetables balanced on your forearms.

If you are wearing a h*lm*t on the bike, take it off as soon as you stop. Fainting in a control queue is not clever.
Sponge down with a damp flannel to cool down. (You did bring a flannel, didn't you?)

Why would one 'faint'... ?

Would it be because one is overexerting one'self?

[Alouicious]

If you do wear a h*l*e*, and are planning to go out in the desert sun, spray it with Chrome spray paint from Halfords.

[Asterix, the former Gaul.]

Do some audaxers also reach outer space?  The moon even?

[dasmoth]

Campagnolo Carbon Fibre espresso spoons.

Oooh, want! (even though I'm not normally a Campag user).

Please tell me those are real.

[Billy Weir]

Why waste precious minutes stopping for toilet breaks.  Simply wear adult nappies under your lycra shorts and be done with it.  Also leaves a pleasant warm feeling.

Baby wipes optional.

[Billy Weir]

Worried about not getting back to HQ first?  Simply reach 88mph on a downhill section and then engage your flux capacitor.  Warning - may singe beards.

[Jules]

When puncturing at 2am on a 600 while wondering if you are nearly at Swaffham it's a challenge to discover you don't have any long stemmed valve tubes in your rackpack and that the rackpack is attached to the bike with the deep section rims.

[Alouicious]

Worried about not getting back to HQ first?  Simply reach 88mph on a downhill section and then engage your flux capacitor.  Warning - may singe beards.

You're living in a dream world.

Making things simpler for myself on long rides involves a Gravity Disruptor in my bidon.

Adjust to 5Degs off vertical and off I go....... Backwards....

[mmmmartin]

carry an 18 inch length of thin flexible plastic pipe so you can fill your bidon from those taps in garage loos that sit over tiny sinks, too small to get the bidon under to get water in it.

oh - and on a 300k such as the Invicta 300 last weekend, remember to bring tyre levers. And more than one inner tube. So if, like one rider, you have two punctures, you are not completely stuffed. And a small headtorch on the helmet, so if you have a puncture in the dark and fix it, you don't forget your pump, and leave it by the road in the middle of nowhere.
These are true tales. Strange, but true.............

[Uncle Eric]

Don't forget to bring spare batteries for the lights.
And a small backup lamp if the main one would fail.

Since Audaxes tend to be laney with sections of
rough road surface, change tyres sooner rather
than later or you might end up in a situation where
no number of inner tubes brought on the ride  might
save you.

[hellymedic]

In high temperatures make sure that you cool down in the last kilometre approaching a control. If you don't you may well collapse. The metabolic rate that is sustainable with 30 kph of cooling air is not sustainable if you suddenly stop.
In a similar vein, the best treatment for the onset of heatstroke is to go into a supermarket and hang around the freezers with bags of frozen vegetables balanced on your forearms.

If you are wearing a h*lm*t on the bike, take it off as soon as you stop. Fainting in a control queue is not clever.
Sponge down with a damp flannel to cool down. (You did bring a flannel, didn't you?)

Why would one 'faint'... ?

Would it be because one is overexerting one'self?

Exertion generates heat.
I don't think cycling at 20mph on the flat with a slight tailwind is overexertion but there is sufficient airflow to permit cooling.
This stops when cycling stops but the muscles still generate heat.
People faint when they are hot, their blood vessels dilate and blood gravitates away from head and heart.

[Alouicious]

In high temperatures make sure that you cool down in the last kilometre approaching a control. If you don't you may well collapse. The metabolic rate that is sustainable with 30 kph of cooling air is not sustainable if you suddenly stop.
In a similar vein, the best treatment for the onset of heatstroke is to go into a supermarket and hang around the freezers with bags of frozen vegetables balanced on your forearms.

If you are wearing a h*lm*t on the bike, take it off as soon as you stop. Fainting in a control queue is not clever.
Sponge down with a damp flannel to cool down. (You did bring a flannel, didn't you?)

Why would one 'faint'... ?

Would it be because one is overexerting one'self?

Exertion generates heat.
I don't think cycling at 20mph on the flat with a slight tailwind is overexertion but there is sufficient airflow to permit cooling.
This stops when cycling stops but the muscles still generate heat.
People faint when they are hot, their blood vessels dilate and blood gravitates away from head and heart.

Could this be 'blood pooling'?

"When off the bike, why stand up if you can sit down? Why sit down if you can lie down?"

[hellymedic]

When puncturing at 2am on a 600 while wondering if you are nearly at Swaffham it's a challenge to discover you don't have any long stemmed valve tubes in your rackpack and that the rackpack is attached to the bike with the deep section rims.

I had little valve extender tubes I kept in my p*nct*re kit.. They were good but seem to have walked. Don't know where/if these are still available but are recommended.

Always make sure you go out with the right spare inner tube.
Right size
Right valve type
Right valve stem length.


...if possible.

[hellymedic]

In high temperatures make sure that you cool down in the last kilometre approaching a control. If you don't you may well collapse. The metabolic rate that is sustainable with 30 kph of cooling air is not sustainable if you suddenly stop.
In a similar vein, the best treatment for the onset of heatstroke is to go into a supermarket and hang around the freezers with bags of frozen vegetables balanced on your forearms.

If you are wearing a h*lm*t on the bike, take it off as soon as you stop. Fainting in a control queue is not clever.
Sponge down with a damp flannel to cool down. (You did bring a flannel, didn't you?)

Why would one 'faint'... ?

Would it be because one is overexerting one'self?

Exertion generates heat.
I don't think cycling at 20mph on the flat with a slight tailwind is overexertion but there is sufficient airflow to permit cooling.
This stops when cycling stops but the muscles still generate heat.
People faint when they are hot, their blood vessels dilate and blood gravitates away from head and heart.

Could this be 'blood pooling'?

"When off the bike, why stand up if you can sit down? Why sit down if you can lie down?"

24-hour garages do not usually have seats for queueueueuing clientele.
Nor do service station canteens before the checkout. That's why, silly.

[Redlight]

Always carry a copy of Arrivee with the rides calendar in it.  That way if you see another bunch of cyclists apparently going off route or coming in the other direction, you can reassure yourself by confirming that they are on a diffrent event. (Also helpful for knowing which Home Counties-based b------s ate all the food if you arrive at Taunton Deane Services early in the morning on the K&SW600)

[mattc]

In high temperatures make sure that you cool down in the last kilometre approaching a control. If you don't you may well collapse. The metabolic rate that is sustainable with 30 kph of cooling air is not sustainable if you suddenly stop.

I don't suffer this particular problem - probably due to a different build to you. But I've found easing up for a few minutes before a control to be excellent advice, as it fits in with well-established "warm-down" advice in other areas of sport.

Ever since I read this tip, it has just seemed like "common sense"!

[Alouicious]

In high temperatures make sure that you cool down in the last kilometre approaching a control. If you don't you may well collapse. The metabolic rate that is sustainable with 30 kph of cooling air is not sustainable if you suddenly stop.

I don't suffer this particular problem - probably due to a different build to you. But I've found easing up for a few minutes before a control to be excellent advice, as it fits in with well-established "warm-down" advice in other areas of sport.

Ever since I read this tip, it has just seemed like "common sense"!

Not if it's the approach to Ipstones on the Castleton classic. A 3km 4% incline immediately after a 400m 14% hill...

Thankfully, the village hall is 'on the level' so a slow lap of the carpark is done before dismounting.

[Martin]

Don't sit on the floor of a 24hr petrol station at 0400 on a 400;

especially when it's about 0oC outside and you've come in to get warm,

and the only place to sit is under a chiller display which is blasting cold air down onto you

and is full of beer

and is shut....

[Panoramix]

Clean your bike a week before the event not 48h before.

Don't ask how I've found this out!

[AndyH]

Clean your bike a week before the event not 48h before.

Don't ask how I've found this out!

How did you find that out ?

[Alouicious]

Don't ride past a lunatic asylum at 0400 in the morning on a 400 when its 0 C outside.

They'll send someone out to get you.