The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[Torslanda]

...but I measured it three times and it's still TOO FECKIN' SHORT!!!!!

[hellymedic]

"Measure, measure, cut" springs to mind.  Or "measure... measure..... CU*T ! ! !" in the present case.

"Measure once, buy twice"

Today's ISAFD moment: I looked and thought about posting in the Lift the Lid subforum.

What was I thinking!

From observation of previous home-owners' attempts at carpentry in my house:

"Measure once, use Birmingham screwdriver and/or bigger nails to fit."

As yesterday was the 18th anniversary of my acquiring the keys to this address, I will point out that the inch/centimetre markings on the spirit level I bought did not correspond to those on the tape measures...

[Guy]

They obviously went to Guy's School of DIY - If it don't fit 'it lt wiv a 'ammer

[Si S]

And if it still don't fit, find a bigger hammer

[hellymedic]

Thankfully, we realised the inaccuracy of the spit level's graduations before any Disaster occurred.

[T42]

Heigh ho.  The fluorescents in my office not having worked all morning, and having forked out 47€ on a new LED replacement yesterday, I decided to install the thing this afternoon. As a prelude to taking the old one down I undid the casing, took the tubes out and popped out the plate that carries the tube-holders.  As I did so, the live wire slid coyly out of the terminal block. It wasn't clamped in by the wee screw.

Fecking div moment #1.

I backed the screw out, tidied up the end of the wire and shoved it in again, tightened the screw down on it and gave it a tug to make sure it was anchored. Reassembled the unit, switched on and it worked. Yo! (But 47€ spent on nowt... well, it can go in the cellar.)  Put away tools & hop-up, got myself a cuppa and sat down at my machine.  The light went out.

Fecking div moment #2.

A while later it came on again, and so far it's stayed on.  Watch this space.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Um - did you check how tight the screws were on the other wires?

[T42]

Good thought, but yes.  But I think I might disconnect the lot anyway and tin the ends of the cable before I reconnect it - it's multistrand rather than the more usual single-strand used for domestic cabling.  Overhead soldering, though - fun & games, right over my desk. Don't worry, I'll put a bag over my head.

[Kim]

Good thought, but yes.  But I think I might disconnect the lot anyway and tin the ends of the cable before I reconnect it - it's multistrand rather than the more usual single-strand used for domestic cabling.  Overhead soldering, though - fun & games, right over my desk. Don't worry, I'll put a bag over my head.

Bad idea.  Solder is great for stopping things fraying, but it makes the wires-working-loose-in-terminal-blocks problem worse, as it deforms plastically when clamped.

Twisting the strands together to make them manageable, and doing the screw up bastard tight ought to be sufficient.  If you want to be posh about it you can use crimp-on lugs, but probably not with standard choc-blocks.

[T42]

Glad it's a bad idea, I was't looking forward to it.  Thinking back, I rather think the cable that comes out of the ceiling is single-strand, and that there's a length of 3-core multi connected to it via a block - i.e. 6 connexions to come loose.  Of course, it could just be that the ballast is going west.  The on/off behaviour smacks of heat problems.

I think I'll put up the new unit and muck about with this one on a bench, then either fix or junk it according to cost.  It'll be damn funny, though, if the new one starts to misbehave. If that happens I'll start looking for mice in the loft.

[CrinklyLion]

Trapped finger in door, passed out from pain, faceplanted on kitchen floor.

Impressive bruises and five stiches in my lip. Oops.

Finger is fine tho.

[Kim]

I saw the friendface thread.  That's a fairly spectacular injury for a minor incident, even by your standards.   

GWS, and well done to SmallestCub for being sensible in an emergency.

[PaulF]

Trapped finger in door, passed out from pain, faceplanted on kitchen floor.

Impressive bruises and five stiches in my lip. Oops.

Finger is fine tho.

Ouch! Heal quickly

[CrinklyLion]

Apparently I've managed, quite unusually, to get an injury that looks more impressive in a camera phone pic that real life so my next door neighbour was quite relieved when she returned the SmallestCub from his inpromptu day out with the SmallestSuperheroNextDoor, also bringing All The Painkillers, and I looked surprisingly human....

https://twitter.com/CrinklyLion/status/932267028282519552/photo/1 for gory pics!

[hellymedic]

Thinking about this, yours is the kind of injury I saw rather more in toddlers than adults though I did sew up an adult cyclist who had made close contact with a handlebar...

[CrinklyLion]

Toddlers - small friendly grumpy enthusiastic tired humans, fundamentally a bit incompetent at staying upright and walking in straight lines.  Yeah... that makes sense

[Polar Bear]

I was supposed to cut the cake ...   

[andrewc]

Ouch Kat !  I was just logging on to report my own minor bumpage & see you've well beaten me in the damage stakes.   Glad you are OK & GWS.


Riding up to my parents on the drop barred tourer I noticed my front brake was rubbing.  Thr brake lever was slightly out of alignment so I straightened it up with a tug & rode on.


On the return trip all was OK until I got to the steep downhill bit just before my flat.  The lever must have shifted again when I pulled it & the front brake locked up completely, luckily I was more or less stopped but still went headfirst over the bars 


Damage to bike,  I've lost a rear light, not checked properly yet.  Damage to self,  seems to be restricted to a bruised left knee.  I may have some more aches in the morning though.

[mrcharly-YHT]

Trapped finger in door, passed out from pain, faceplanted on kitchen floor.

Impressive bruises and five stiches in my lip. Oops.

Finger is fine tho.

Has eldest cub made up for the not noticing anything yet? Maybe by cleaning up the claret from the floor?

mouth injuries bleed impressively but also heal very fast

[T42]

Trapped finger in door, passed out from pain, faceplanted on kitchen floor.

Impressive bruises and five stiches in my lip. Oops.

Finger is fine tho.

Arrgh! GWS.

[De Sisti]

Heigh ho.  The fluorescents in my office not having worked all morning,,,

Home office?

[fuzzy]

Good thought, but yes.  But I think I might disconnect the lot anyway and tin the ends of the cable before I reconnect it - it's multistrand rather than the more usual single-strand used for domestic cabling.  Overhead soldering, though - fun & games, right over my desk. Don't worry, I'll put a bag over my head.

That's OK, we only keep bags away from small children.....

[ian]

I don't do DIY for a reason. A very good reason. It's a bad idea. It's bad ideas condensed into neutron stars of stupid. But sometimes, when there's no adults around, I try. Like the radiator in the bathroom. It's stopped getting hot. I think I saw a grown-up fix such a thing. I might have imagined it. Anyway, the little valve on the bottom was stuck. So I got my trusty spanner and gave it a twist. A bit more of twist.

Anyway, anyone want a bit of broken copper cheese? Because that's evidently what it was.

[Torslanda]

Are you allowed out on your own...?

[ian]

To be fair, I don't think it's entirely my fault, it was a teeny spanner and I'm not exactly The Hulk. I suppose it'll need a proper grown-up to come fix it and make it go hot again so I don't have to warm the bathroom by leaving the door wide open.

But generally I'm only allowed out on my if I have my badge with name and if-found-please-return-to address on it. My wife made it for me. Hold on, that's not even our address.