Author Topic: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...  (Read 30204 times)

Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« on: 27 February, 2018, 11:44:33 am »
Not quite misheard lyrics - this is for the songs where you know full well what the real lyrics are, but just sing the wrong ones for sh1ts/giggles/smuttiness...

Whole Again - Atomic Kitten
You can make me whole again
You can fill my hole again

Handy Man - Jimmy Jones (or James Taylor)
I'm not the kind that uses pencil or rule/I'm handy with the love and I'm no fool
I'm not the kind that uses pencil or rule/I'm handy with my loving tool

We Built This City - Starship
We built this city on rock and roll
We built this city on sausage rolls

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #1 on: 27 February, 2018, 11:53:52 am »
I can never listen to His Bobness doing "With God On Our Side" without weighing in with the Half Man Half Biscuit version.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #2 on: 27 February, 2018, 01:22:24 pm »
Any song that mentions California, I change it to "Valley Corner". Dunno why really.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #3 on: 27 February, 2018, 01:23:19 pm »
Morning has broken
Morgens hat's Brötchen

Abilene, Abilene,
Sweetest town I ever seen...
Ebberdeen, ma Ebberdeen
Grimmest hole ah ivver been...

There are also a few songs where I only remember the parodies.  Can't remember any just now.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #4 on: 27 February, 2018, 01:40:28 pm »
Weirdly my mind's gone completely blank, but there should be an entire category for that childhood sport of augmenting instrumental TV themes with de-facto lyrics by the simple means of repeatedly singing the name of the programme in a vague attempt to fit the tune.

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #5 on: 27 February, 2018, 02:55:58 pm »
I can see clearly now the rain has gone

I can see Deirdre now Lorraine has gone

I don't know why.
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #6 on: 27 February, 2018, 04:34:13 pm »
That's like the one in Dublin:

I can see Clery's now, the crane has gone

- following renovations.

A chum used to sing "Rock of Ages" with the first word changed to something anatomical and rude. The rest of the verse fell nicely into context.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #7 on: 27 February, 2018, 05:33:56 pm »
Since Trump, I've re-worked one of my favourite standards, Stormy Weather:-

Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky
Stormy Daniels
She does things you won't find in the manuals.....

and

Can't go on, everything I had is gone
Stormy Daniels
Had more **** than twenty cocker spaniels

NSFW?

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #8 on: 27 February, 2018, 05:51:42 pm »
U2:
I'm not the only one
Starin' at the sun With a smelly bum


IGMC.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #9 on: 27 February, 2018, 05:57:06 pm »
Desmond Decker

Me ears are alight......
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #10 on: 27 February, 2018, 06:01:26 pm »

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #11 on: 27 February, 2018, 06:27:21 pm »
Motorhead:  The eight of spades.  The eight of spades.

I do it to annoy the boys really.
Admission.  I'm actually not that fussed about cake.

Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #12 on: 27 February, 2018, 06:50:27 pm »
AC/DC:

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap with sheep...

(as sung by Bob Rivers)
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Graeme

  • @fatherhilarious.blog 🦋
    • Graeme's Blog
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #13 on: 27 February, 2018, 06:56:28 pm »
James, "Tomorrow"
You can't catch love with a net or a gun
You can't catch love with an elephant gun.

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #14 on: 04 March, 2018, 03:00:12 pm »
Bruce Springsteen:  "Everybody's got a hungry arse".
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #15 on: 04 March, 2018, 03:36:48 pm »
I left my heart,
In Fat Sam's Disco
Admission.  I'm actually not that fussed about cake.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #16 on: 04 March, 2018, 05:20:46 pm »
Then there are the famous ones, "Your walrus hurt the one you love" and "Big horse, I love you".

But they're clean.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #17 on: 04 March, 2018, 06:11:41 pm »
Then there's Englebert Humperdinck's kitchen sink classic.

Please degrease me, let me flow.
Admission.  I'm actually not that fussed about cake.

Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #18 on: 04 March, 2018, 06:17:43 pm »
Lump - Presidents of the United States of America, now ruined by the current incumbent...

It's Trump, it's Trump!
What's on his head?
It's Trump, it's Trump, it's Trump!
Oh we're so dead!
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Redlight

  • Enjoying life in the slow lane
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #19 on: 05 March, 2018, 03:29:21 pm »
You can't hurry lunch
Oh, you have to eat slow
If you eat too quickly
Your tum will hurt before you know...
Why should anybody steal a watch when they can steal a bicycle?

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #20 on: 05 March, 2018, 04:13:19 pm »
Back to the days of working in theatre (Based on a true story)...

Summertime, and the rigging is easy
Sparks are jumping, and the Crew Boss is high
Your Director's rich, and your Chief ain't good looking
So hush, little techy, don't you cry

One of these mornings
You're gonna rig up singing
Spread your spansets
And reach for the sky(hook)
But till that morning
You'll have to risk dodgy wiring
So hush, little techy
Shut up.....and die.
Getting there...

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #21 on: 05 March, 2018, 04:15:36 pm »
Then there's Englebert Humperdinck's kitchen sink classic.

Please degrease me, let me flow.

Reminiscent of

Hail Mary, full of grease, the Lard be with you.

Best said in a stage Oyrish accent.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #22 on: 06 March, 2018, 10:36:22 am »
Uncle Peter knows the title. all I can remember is a line from a hymn from childhood...

'Most highly flavoured gravy'
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #23 on: 06 March, 2018, 12:04:44 pm »
Steppenwolf - Born To Be Wild Drink Mild
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Songs you always sing the wrong words to...
« Reply #24 on: 06 March, 2018, 01:53:45 pm »
Hey ho, hey ho
It's off to work we go
With a shovel and a pick and a rhubarb stick
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.