The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[Kim]

Fortunately, it seems I may not need to resort to destruction: checking back through thousands of cat photos on my phone, I realised that I had the sense to take a photo of the key when I first got it, so a replacement is now on order from Kryptonite.

I thought the punchline was going to be "the photo was of the key where I last put it, so I've now found it".

An ADHDish friend documents the minutiae of their life on Google Photos for exactly that reason.

[phantasmagoriana]

I have a solution to that: Bike lock keys not attached to keyrings all go in a compartment of the Misc Bike-Related Pingfuckits^[1] box.

Oh, I have a box where the spare bike lock keys live, and that would have been the sensible place to put it.

[Kim]

I have a solution to that: Bike lock keys not attached to keyrings all go in a compartment of the Misc Bike-Related Pingfuckits^[1] box.

Oh, I have a box where the spare bike lock keys live, and that would have been the sensible place to put it.

No doubt it's somewhere so clever and obvious that you'll only find it when you move house.

[T42]

We have a key cabinet on the inside wall by the front door.

None of my keys are in it.

[robgul]

We have a box that contains about 15 keys, none of which we have any idea what they are for - but we keep them "just in case"     

Oh, and on the them of where did I put it - before we went off on a 5 week holiday I backed up all the files, photos etc that mattered from my PC on to a "passport drive" and put it in a safe place . . . you can guess the rest, took half a day to recall where it was.

[Beardy]

We have a key cabinet for keys we don’t use any more. Since I got all the doors and gate padlocks keyed alike, it’s difficult to actually not be able to find a door key and a lack of car means there’s no car key to lose. Just don’t ask me where any of the cycle lock keys are… that might be another job for keying alike.

[Mrs Pingu]

Keying alike is on my list of things to do this summer. I'm fed up of having a pocket full of full size keys.

[Cudzoziemiec]

I keep thinking that keys, like coins, are a technology that should have been replaced by now. But they haven't.

[Beardy]

I keep thinking that keys, like coins, are a technology that should have been replaced by now. But they haven't.

There are numerous technological alternatives available, but most of them have been produced by tech people, not locksmiths, and thus fail in the actual security department. And they need batteries.

[Kim]

I keep thinking that keys, like coins, are a technology that should have been replaced by now. But they haven't.

There are numerous technological alternatives available, but most of them have been produced by tech people, not locksmiths, and thus fail in the actual security department. And they need batteries.

TBH I think the main advantage of electronic locks is about scale.  When you've got umpty doors multiplied by umpty people, it makes sense to have 'keys' that identify the person, and the permissions in a central database for ease of maintenance.  Being able to track who is in the building when (eg. for evacuation purposes) is a useful bonus.

If you don't, mechanical locks are cheap, easily understood and failures tend to be usefully limited to a single lock/key.  Electronic locks just add accessibility for the hand-impaired, and the opportunity to not be able to open your door because us-west-1 is currently unreachable.

There's not a lot in it in terms of security against a Mk 1 sledge-hammer or social engineering.  Only nerds pick locks.

[Beardy]

I keep thinking that keys, like coins, are a technology that should have been replaced by now. But they haven't.

There are numerous technological alternatives available, but most of them have been produced by tech people, not locksmiths, and thus fail in the actual security department. And they need batteries.

TBH I think the main advantage of electronic locks is about scale.  When you've got umpty doors multiplied by umpty people, it makes sense to have 'keys' that identify the person, and the permissions in a central database for ease of maintenance.  Being able to track who is in the building when (eg. for evacuation purposes) is a useful bonus.

If you don't, mechanical locks are cheap, easily understood and failures tend to be usefully limited to a single lock/key.  Electronic locks just add accessibility for the hand-impaired, and the opportunity to not be able to open your door because us-west-1 is currently unreachable.

There's not a lot in it in terms of security against a Mk 1 sledge-hammer or social engineering.  Only nerds pick locks.

Having some professional experience of corporate level physical security, I completely agree that electronically controlled doors/access makes things far more manageable and a lot more secure than issuing everyone with one of a limited set of master keys. Corporate level stuff is actually quite secure, well at least as it was deployed in BT. And we employed physical pen test teams to make sure the implementations were carried out to spec. There’s only so much you can do against social engineering though, but the more sensitive sites employed measures that mitigated against that also.

I was thinking more of the recent internet-of-shite domestic security offerings such as the fingerprint recognition padlocks used dried pasta as hasps, or the Bluetooth enabled padlocks were fastened closed with, not much, hot glue.

[Kim]

I was thinking more of the recent internet-of-shite domestic security offerings such as the fingerprint recognition padlocks used dried pasta as hasps, or the Bluetooth enabled padlocks were fastened closed with, not much, hot glue.

Ah, I've completely missed those (but am completely unsurprised they exist).  File with Keypers™.  I was thinking more like an electronic Euro cylinder...

[robgul]

I keep thinking that keys, like coins, are a technology that should have been replaced by now. But they haven't.

Don't be so sure I stayed in a hotel in Tauranga, New Zealand a few weeks ago where you had a phone app to open the room door . . . . crazy.

[Regulator]

I keep thinking that keys, like coins, are a technology that should have been replaced by now. But they haven't.

Don't be so sure I stayed in a hotel in Tauranga, New Zealand a few weeks ago where you had a phone app to open the room door . . . . crazy.

Our front door has an electronic lock.  The fobs have stopped working so we have to use our phones.

[citoyen]

I keep thinking that keys, like coins, are a technology that should have been replaced by now. But they haven't.

Don't be so sure I stayed in a hotel in Tauranga, New Zealand a few weeks ago where you had a phone app to open the room door . . . . crazy.

I stayed in a hotel in Belgium in ?2016 where the room key was an iPod touch. That seemed reasonably outlandish at the time but I’m not surprised if it has become normal now.

[Cudzoziemiec]

A building I'm occasionally responsible for locking after the hirers have left has a number pad on the main entrance, with separate numbers issued to separate hirers (I'm not sure how this is managed) but also various locks using conventional keys (which the hirers don't have to bother about). I've no idea how the number-issuing works (I'm not involved in that) but obviously it helps track who's been in and out when, as well as reducing the number of physical keys to be lost or copied (legitimately or otherwise). Such a system might also be useful in family homes but doesn't seem to have generally caught on.

I think possibly car keys are what strikes me as odd though. They all seem to be electronic nowadays, certainly for the doors and often for the engine too, yet you still have a – rather large and heavy – physical object to carry around. Is that bit really needed nowadays, isn't it just a hangover from the old tech? (Bear in mind I haven't owned a car since 2007, so am probably wildly out of touch here.)

Which reminds me that on Saturday, walking through a small village (North Stoke nr Bath if anyone wants to know), I stopped to look at the village notice board. These can be great fun. In this one there was a large photo (on actual photo paper) of a tree with some sort of metal disc in it. I noticed the board was only fastened with a simple turning latch (no key, no lock!) so I opened it to have a look at the photo (which turned out to have a semi-literate conspiracy theory-style diatribe written on the back: "They're killing the trees and no one gives a shit.") As I opened it, out fell a car key which had been wedged behind the glass. VW. There were no VWs in the vicinity so evidently whoever it belonged to had got their car home without it.

[Kim]

I keep thinking that keys, like coins, are a technology that should have been replaced by now. But they haven't.

Don't be so sure I stayed in a hotel in Tauranga, New Zealand a few weeks ago where you had a phone app to open the room door . . . . crazy.

Makes sense for the hotel, because they gain all the advantages of electronic locks without having to give you key cards to lose.

Obviously it's about as practical as paying for EV charging with an app.  Which is to say it'll work until it doesn't.  And now some minimum wage hotel monkey has to debug it.

[robgul]

I keep thinking that keys, like coins, are a technology that should have been replaced by now. But they haven't.

Don't be so sure I stayed in a hotel in Tauranga, New Zealand a few weeks ago where you had a phone app to open the room door . . . . crazy.

Makes sense for the hotel, because they gain all the advantages of electronic locks without having to give you key cards to lose.

Obviously it's about as practical as paying for EV charging with an app.  Which is to say it'll work until it doesn't.  And now some minimum wage hotel monkey has to debug it.

. . . you had to download an app operated by a third-party "hotel services" company that managed the locks for that hotel and others.  I duly downloaded the app and was immediately presented with "an exclusive offer to upgrade to ....." for about NZ$20 .... declined that but then got more ads on the first two openings of the door.  Deleted the app, complained to receptiion was given a keycard.   It was only a one-night stop but enough was enough.

AND key cards - we stayed in a smart hotel in Auckland* that had actual wood veneer key cards for the rooms - beautiful - guess what I have on my desk here at home 

*Britomart Hotel - highly recommended.

[barakta]

All the Info Security people I follow on Mastodon were saying hotel door systems are notoriously insecure such as https://www.swcrc.co.uk/post/how-secure-is-your-hotel-key-card

[Kim]

All the Info Security people I follow on Mastodon were saying hotel door systems are notoriously insecure such as https://www.swcrc.co.uk/post/how-secure-is-your-hotel-key-card

Yes, we must ban Flipper Zeros (and smartphones and race timing systems anything else with an RFID reader/writer in it) at once.

Leaving standard master codes in the lock firmware is the equivalent of not screwing a Yale lock to the door properly, so that anyone with a screwdriver can rotate the whole barrel and unlock the door.  I'd say that was plain old-fashioned incompetence, rather than anything that justifies a cyber- prefix.

But also, it's a hotel room door.  Shirley we all use them in full awareness that dozens of minimum wage employees can open the door at will.  That 1337 h4xx0rs, international super-spies, and on a bad day another guest who got off the lift on the wrong floor and was a bit too drunk to notice can also open the door doesn't really add anything substantive to the threat model.

[Cudzoziemiec]

I'd say the drunken other guest is by far the greatest threat. The minimum wage employee might pilfer some cash, the secret agent might clone your passport, but you'll come back to find the drunk asleep in your bed having thrown up all over the bathroom floor.

[Kim]

I'd say the drunken other guest is by far the greatest threat. The minimum wage employee might pilfer some cash, the secret agent might clone your passport, but you'll come back to find the drunk asleep in your bed having thrown up all over the bathroom floor.

Sounds like the voice of experience...

[Beardy]

I'd say the drunken other guest is by far the greatest threat. The minimum wage employee might pilfer some cash, the secret agent might clone your passport, but you'll come back to find the drunk asleep in your bed having thrown up all over the bathroom floor.

Sounds like the voice of experience...

He was the drunken other guest. 

[Tim Hall]

I'd say the drunken other guest is by far the greatest threat. The minimum wage employee might pilfer some cash, the secret agent might clone your passport, but you'll come back to find the drunk asleep in your bed having thrown up all over the bathroom floor.

Sounds like the voice of experience...

He was the drunken other guest. 

BITD I used to try to sell stuff in the oil industry. Every two years there was a big exhibition in Stavanger (I guess Ely Dave and the Pingus might know of it). The whole place got full, hotels booked out for miles around. In a precursor to AirB n B, people would rent out their flats/houses/bike sheds via the exhibition organisers and rake in some dosh.  My The Boss at the time rented one such flat and was awoken in the small  hours by a Large Drunk Norwegian finding his way into his flat. It is thought boozahol contributed to the Viking's disorientation. He was shown the door at least twice, pausing only to divest himself of his clothing (blue underpants remained on thankfully) before finally getting the hint.  My The Boss wrote a little poem about the incident.  Which was nice.

[Mr Larrington]

There are Certain Rules pertaining to the naming of Certain Files in Euro Truck Simulator 2 and failure to follow them can lead to spending three or four hours tearing one's hair out trying to figure out where the typo is