Author Topic: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners  (Read 132423 times)

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #25 on: 16 August, 2018, 05:29:42 pm »
That's got to be an excerpt from a new Carl Hiaasen novel.  Hasn't it?

This has "excerpt from a Hiaasen novel" written all over it.  ;D :-X

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When Hallandale Beach Mayor Keith London said “sphincter bleaching is a very up and coming business,” during the City Commission’s budget discussion Monday night, he may have been right. But whether he thought anal bleach had anything to do with public safety budgets — the topic being discussed — remains unclear.

Why London thought it relevant, much less appropriate, to accuse a female commissioner of making her living from bleaching her own anus is even more baffling.

“Was it getting my sphincter bleached, is that what I earned my income for?” London said to Commissioner Anabelle Lima-Taub, as the two exchanged personal attacks. “No that would be you.”

What did the mayor even mean by that? London couldn’t be reached for comment.

https://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/broward/article216726340.html
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #26 on: 03 September, 2018, 10:07:32 pm »
Kuwaiti fishmonger with an eye for creative marketing bowled a googly by the authorities.

Quote
A fishmonger in Kuwait has been closed down for sticking googly eyes on fish to make them appear fresher.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-45398254
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #27 on: 05 October, 2018, 09:20:24 pm »
And back to Carl Hiaasen's research files...

Quote
A gas station owner in Jacksonville is extremely pissed that people keep warming their urine in the store microwave.

"They walk in off the street, microwave urine containers then, leave," said On the Fly (yes, that's the real name) convenience store owner Parlu Patel to WLTV.

According to the television station, the store is within walking distance of a LabCorp drug testing facility. For the unfamiliar, it's not uncommon for anyone who needs to pass a drug test to use someone else's urine, and to get away with it, it needs to be at least body temperature.

Patel has posted a sign that says, "Only for food use, do not microwave urine."

https://www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2018/10/05/a-florida-gas-station-owner-wants-people-to-stop-warming-their-pee-in-his-microwave
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #28 on: 14 October, 2018, 03:08:49 pm »
This one's not from Florida, as you might expect, but from Tennessee (unfortunately, access to the news site is yet another collateral casualty of the GDPR, but you should get the gist from the tweet).

Quote
Man run over by lawn mower while trying to kill son with chainsaw
https://twitter.com/3onyourside/status/1050885186047631361

 
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #29 on: 15 October, 2018, 02:34:19 pm »
This one's not from Florida, as you might expect, but from Tennessee (unfortunately, access to the news site is yet another collateral casualty of the GDPR, but you should get the gist from the tweet).

Quote
Man run over by lawn mower while trying to kill son with chainsaw
https://twitter.com/3onyourside/status/1050885186047631361

And to think people failed to take Lawnmower DETH seriously!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #30 on: 17 October, 2018, 10:22:39 am »
Let's kick a man while he's down, eh?!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-45860488
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #31 on: 11 November, 2018, 07:03:19 pm »
Clearly a mayor that believes getting into the swing of things

https://www.planetski.eu/news/10929

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #34 on: 13 November, 2018, 11:17:13 pm »
Given Trumps foot stamping today, could it really be the case, that due to sulking, he did not visit the American cemetery in the Aisne?
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain


T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #36 on: 19 November, 2018, 03:28:46 pm »
Reminds me of an episode in the late 50s when a Belfast dockyard crane-driver and his mate got drunk, and the driver borrowed his company "car" to take his chum home to Dundonald, 5 miles or so out of town. He then drove the crane back again, managing to hit both posts of the dockyard gates in doing so. Over the entire trip he damaged around 80 parked cars.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #37 on: 29 November, 2018, 06:52:59 pm »
And back to the US state that already has more than its fair share of mentions...

Quote
Florida woman faces an aggravated assault charge after authorities say she passed gas in line at a dollar store and pulled a knife on a man who complained about it. http://apne.ws/VSjGk2G  #odd
https://twitter.com/AP_Oddities/status/1068150347363950592

The replies are a toot - sorry, I mean hoot.
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #38 on: 30 November, 2018, 09:48:15 am »
And back to the US state that already has more than its fair share of mentions...

Quote
Florida woman faces an aggravated assault charge after authorities say she passed gas in line at a dollar store and pulled a knife on a man who complained about it. http://apne.ws/VSjGk2G  #odd
https://twitter.com/AP_Oddities/status/1068150347363950592

The replies are a toot - sorry, I mean hoot.

Normally I regard fart-gags as the lowest form of wit ... but this is hilarious!
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #39 on: 30 November, 2018, 04:17:36 pm »
Now we know why the USA has that "Are you a terrorist?" visa question.
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“One of the questions ask if you are a terrorist and it must have jumped from No to Yes without me knowing," he said.

"I even called border control in the US and gave them my passport details."

"They looked up my Esta number and said ‘you’re a terrorist’. I told them that I was 70 years old and I don’t even recognise what that means."
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/john-stevenson-us-visa-ban-terrorist-esta-form-mistake-a8660441.html
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Guy

  • Retired
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #40 on: 03 December, 2018, 09:32:51 am »
It's not just British idiots who move to the country and start complaining about everything

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A married couple who bought a large house in the fields on the edge of Holzkirchen, south of Munich, are suing a farmer over the clanging cowbells on her cows, which graze in a neighbouring meadow.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46371208
"The Opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject"  Marcus Aurelius

Zipperhead

  • The cyclist formerly known as Big Helga
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #41 on: 03 December, 2018, 01:57:01 pm »
It's not just British idiots who move to the country and start complaining about everything

Quote
A married couple who bought a large house in the fields on the edge of Holzkirchen, south of Munich, are suing a farmer over the clanging cowbells on her cows, which graze in a neighbouring meadow.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46371208

I read that this morning. Not just the cow bells, but they are complaining about the smell of cow shit. Perhaps they should have gone to live in a pseudo country environment like a golf course.
Won't somebody think of the hamsters!

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #42 on: 03 December, 2018, 02:29:30 pm »
It's not just British idiots who move to the country and start complaining about everything

Quote
A married couple who bought a large house in the fields on the edge of Holzkirchen, south of Munich, are suing a farmer over the clanging cowbells on her cows, which graze in a neighbouring meadow.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46371208

I read that this morning. Not just the cow bells, but they are complaining about the smell of cow shit. Perhaps they should have gone to live in a pseudo country environment like a golf course.

They'd only complain about flying balls and ridiculous trousers.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #43 on: 03 December, 2018, 02:30:02 pm »
To be fair, when they bought the house there were only fields. Then the council and a farmer conspired...
It is simpler than it looks.

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #44 on: 03 December, 2018, 02:34:35 pm »
Apparently in U.K. law your right to enjoy your property without nuisance is above the rights of even persisting nuisance causing businesses. This is why many motorsport venues are struggling or have gone out of business.
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #45 on: 03 December, 2018, 03:34:51 pm »
It's not just British idiots who move to the country and start complaining about everything

Quote
A married couple who bought a large house in the fields on the edge of Holzkirchen, south of Munich, are suing a farmer over the clanging cowbells on her cows, which graze in a neighbouring meadow.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-46371208
One of *their* neighbours needs to countersue, complaining about the smell of bullshit.

Details on the court case
Quote
They seemed like pleasant neighbours at first, good at putting the bins out, kept their lawn mowed. Then we noticed this terrible smell. It took us a few days before we realised . . . they were full of it. Living next to them has become quite unbearable.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #46 on: 03 December, 2018, 07:30:19 pm »
 ;D

 :thumbsup:
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #47 on: 05 December, 2018, 03:04:23 pm »
Apparently in U.K. law your right to enjoy your property without nuisance is above the rights of even persisting nuisance causing businesses. This is why many motorsport venues are struggling or have gone out of business.

The Kimbolton kart circuit has only a limited number of race days, so when some infernal busybody from the local council saw a large number of cars parked at the track on a non-racing Sunday, he kicked up a fuss and the BHPC is now persona non grata at the venue.  Yes, it's our fault for our non-engines not disturbing the peace.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #48 on: 08 December, 2018, 02:39:55 pm »
Apparently in U.K. law your right to enjoy your property without nuisance is above the rights of even persisting nuisance causing businesses. This is why many motorsport venues are struggling or have gone out of business.

The Kimbolton kart circuit has only a limited number of race days, so when some infernal busybody from the local council saw a large number of cars parked at the track on a non-racing Sunday, he kicked up a fuss and the BHPC is now persona non grata at the venue.  Yes, it's our fault for our non-engines not disturbing the peace.
Perhaps you should have all cycled there?

<runs>
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Little Eye On The Crazy World Of Foreigners
« Reply #49 on: 08 December, 2018, 02:45:47 pm »
<cycles>

surely!
It is simpler than it looks.