The RANT thread (often contains fruity language)

[Jaded]

Bonfire night was bigger until teh H&S Nazis got involved and the 'Merkins invaded with Halloween.

[davelodwig]

Bonfire night was bigger until teh H&S Nazis got involved and the 'Merkins invaded with Halloween.

Still prefer bonfire night to haloween, there is just something about stuff that explodes.

[essexian]

I would just like to add that along with Christmas, I hate Halloween and Bonfire night....  I hate Bonfire night as it scares my cats and we have a neighbour who thinks the 5th Nov lasts for weeks.  TWAT

God, I am a miserable git.

[CAMRAMan]

Bonfire night was bigger until teh H&S Nazis got involved and the 'Merkins invaded with Halloween.

Ah, the good old days, where jumping jacks would hop about randomly exploding and you could buy handheld fireworks. Proper ones, not those poncy sparklers. I bet the burns unit was fun those days.

[citoyen]

Bonfire night was bigger until teh H&S Nazis got involved and the 'Merkins invaded with Halloween.

It's ironic that organised fireworks displays have become more restricted thanks to H&S nazism but fireworks, including bloody great enormous rockets, are much more readily available (and affordable) to the general public than they ever were in my youth, which means you now get fireworks all bloody year round and they're no longer special, just annoying.

Hot cross buns seem to be available all year round now as well, but at least they don't scare cats.

[perpetual dan]

I've been pleasantly ignorant of christmas so far this year. Maybe I've developed visual spam filtering? However bonfire is, ahem, important round here too so there's a collective feeling that Christmas isn't the next big occasion.

[andrewc]

Bonfire night was bigger until teh H&S Nazis got involved and the 'Merkins invaded with Halloween.

It's ironic that organised fireworks displays have become more restricted thanks to H&S nazism but fireworks, including bloody great enormous rockets, are much more readily available (and affordable) to the general public than they ever were in my youth, which means you now get fireworks all bloody year round and they're no longer special, just annoying.

Hot cross buns seem to be available all year round now as well, but at least they don't scare cats.

Last night in Liverpool was like a war zone,  a long series of window trembling bangs, but with no pretty light shows that I could see..

[fuzzy]

Back to ring tones for a second-

My call tone is the ITV Tour de France theme.

My text alert is Edith Evans as Lady Bracknell in The Importance Of Being Earnest uttering that immortal line "A haaandbaaaag?". I don't know what it is but I love that line

[Guy]

Bonfire night started last night.

Neighbours, just fuck off with your ginormous BANG making shit.

[citoyen]

<mildly amused that someone called Guy is expressing a negative view of bonfire night>

[David Martin]

<mildly amused that someone called Guy is expressing a negative view of bonfire night>

Getting quite hot under the collar.

[Guy]

Morrisons own-brand tea bags? 

Morrisons own-brand cheapo tea Bags!!??!

MORRISONS OWN-FUCKIN-BRAND CHEAPO TEA BAGS!!!111!!!1!

Overlord of the Tea Swindle, prepare to die

 

[Templogin]

One of the Wimmin came around to collect the money for the tea fund and accused me of being a weirdo for bringing my own stuff in.  FFS woman, I am a weirdo, but it has nothing to do with tea and coffee, but more to do with owning 6 bikes and 40 fountain pens!

[Cudzoziemiec]

Diwali is what you want for real crazy firework action. Bring a gas mask.

[ian]

Dog owners.

Firstly, no it's not fucking alright to drag your little shitmonkey into the gutter when it needs to snip one off because it's 'not on the pavement' and 'oh I don't have a bag' to pick it up. Given that the new turd had an entire family of others nearby, I'll make a guess you do the same every day. How about I come do a shit outside your house which I'm sure will be fine if I don't defile the pavement. (Fortunately it wasn't outside my house or I would have made her eat it.)

Secondly, there are signs at every entrance to Riddlesdown announcing that, like every summer, they are grazing cattle and goats. So why the fuck are you letting your dog off the lead?  What do you think is going to happen when your free-ranging spaniel meets a field full of goats. If you have zero control over your dog don't fucking let it off a lead ever. Whatever is between your ears is less dense than a ghost's fart. I don't care that 'it's not your dog,' you're the ones walking it. 'We didn't know there were goats'. You dimwits. What do you think the big things with horns are? Shrubs?

I was a little bit bad and told them I'd called the police because worrying goats is a criminal offence and they should wait. So they ran off, but I hope they spent the rest of today worrying that the next knock on the door was the boys in blue. Or motherfucking Satan with one serious helping of hellfire and damnation.

[Canardly]

My FIL used to follow them home and post it through the letter box.

[hellymedic]

Diwali is what you want for real crazy firework action. Bring a gas mask.

Bring ear defenders.
Here in Brent, we celebrate anything and everything with detonations.

[matthew]

Self, you bloody fool, you have been working on your current cross stitch project for about 3 months. So why now that you are on the last colour of stitches have you gone and lost the key for the colours. 

It's going to be difficult to do the detail stitches (backstitch and french knots) when you don't know which colour to use or how many threads. 

[Mr Larrington]

My FIL used to follow them home and post it through the letter box.

Quite.  It's the only language these curs understand...

[Biff]

BT - if you promise to fix my dead land line in 3 working days kindly fucking do it. 6 isn't 3. And your automated fault registering system sucks worse than a Kings Cross whore.

[Mr Larrington]

Either someone has just tipped a skip-load of breeze blocks out of a C-130 onto the school over the road or that's thunder.

Are we supposed to get thunder at this time of year

[spesh]

Either someone has just tipped a skip-load of breeze blocks out of a C-130 onto the school over the road or that's thunder.

Are we supposed to get thunder at this time of year

If the atmospheric conditions are right, I don't see why not. And apparently, thundery snow storms are a thing:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thundersnow

[mcshroom]

Either someone has just tipped a skip-load of breeze blocks out of a C-130 onto the school over the road or that's thunder.

Are we supposed to get thunder at this time of year

Simple answer - yes. We had one hell of a thunderstorm overnight last night including a tornado in the south of the County

[andrewc]

Either someone has just tipped a skip-load of breeze blocks out of a C-130 onto the school over the road or that's thunder.

Are we supposed to get thunder at this time of year

Simple answer - yes. We had one hell of a thunderstorm overnight last night including a tornado in the south of the County

Lots of thunder around Liverpool last night and a tornado over on  the Wirral.

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/f92iZqs1X80&rel=1" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/f92iZqs1X80&rel=1</a>

[Mr Larrington]

It's the End Times, I tells 'ee...

(Cont. "What Jethro" magazine, p.94)