I can pass through large parts of south London on autopilot. I'm genuinely unsure who's in command, but I'm definitely not on the bridge for much of this time. That used to worry me (I do the same when driving, I once managed to drive 2/3rds of the way through NYC without noticing) but whomever is running things seems good and manages emergency stops etc. I never know whether to be impressed and freaked that there's someone in my brain who isn't me and, tbh, seems to be better at me than most things. What if he/she/it takes over? What happens to me in this putsch? You see, this is the kind of thing I'm thinking about when I'm cycling along.
I mostly don't think about bad driving. I used to get angry then I got zen. They'll be shit regardless of what I think. Once the fizzle of adrenalin has gone, I'm back to wondering about my mystery autopilot. What if it's a girl? Will I need a new wardrobe? Is she cute? I daydream about other stuff too. Believe me, there's not much to look at after your first dozen times along the A23.
I am getting a bit disillusioned in general with the roads mind. My foray yesterday down the Waterlink Way was, while impractical, thoroughly liberating (admittedly, crashing down an unlit, rutted train in the twilight might have liberated my head from my body). I think it's partly through various commitments, and a much longer commute, that I've ridden less, but also the A22/A23 is pretty unattractive and offputting (the former, tbh, is making me contemplate getting the train). I find the entire need to cycle aggressively, wide of the gutter, blocking passes etc, just tiring. Even on autopilot there's a steady bleed of stress. I used to enjoy the real world video game and mixing it up with London traffic, doing the Ben Hur around E&C, that kind of thing. Perhaps, I'm just getting older, but the entire combative nature of road cycling is just getting exhausting.
