Most bizarre thing you've ever ridden/crashed your bike into?

[Dave]

Reading in another thread that someone had an 'interaction' with a deer, I thought there must stories of even more bizarre 'interactions' amongst the YACF massive.

I don't have much to start with. I think the best I can manage is a squirrel in Thetford forest...

[MSeries]

A dead Tasmanian Devil.

[andygates]

I managed to ride up my brother's rear mudguard once (resulting in the predictable flip and faceplant). 

[Adam]

When I was about 17, I rode into a car that wasn't there.

I was cycling to school when I went smack into a car which appeared in front of me.  No idea where it came from.  All I remember is glancing sideways to look at some young ladies walking along, then looking forwards again and there was a parked car on its own, right in front of me. 

I went flying into the windscreen, wrote off the bike and left a tiny little dent in the bumper of the car.

Moral of the story - don't let women distract you from your cycling. 

[Jezza]

A brothel in Zimbabwe.

I needed cigarettes, and the only place open was the Kamfinsa Hotel. I was a bit drunk, and was worried about leaving my bike outside. There was a nice ramp up into the bar, so I rode on in, not planning to stop. 

About 30 seconds later I was thrown out the door, followed by my bicycle, for leaving muddy tyre tracks on the carpet. 

[Goldcrank]

While riding through town I saw Leo Sayer. “Hello Leo,” I shout out (I don’t really know why) and ride in to the back of a purple Nissan Micra.

[mike]

While riding through town I saw Leo Sayer. “Hello Leo,” I shout out (I don’t really know why) and ride in to the back of a purple Nissan Micra.

[Adrian]

In my youth, riding in a park I had never been in before, I decided to ride through a gate to see what was there. On the other side I found myself going down a fight of steps and onto a bowling green, which was in use at the time. I believe that I was lucky to escape with my life.

[andrew_s]

I rode into a pond once.

The bike is where I went over the edge, and the hole in the duckweed is about where I landed.
The water was about 20cm, plus 10cm soft mud.

[border-rider]

 

Was that picture taken  by you or an amused bystander ?

[border-rider]

My brother crashed into a horse and knocked himself out.  The horse was surprised but otherwise uninjured.

[Domestique]

I saw my friend once ride his bike down the slip way at Benfleet Creek in a failed atempt to ride out across the mud 
When he hit the mud his front wheel buried itself and catapulted him over the bars and into the black mud. It took considerable effort to rescue the bike. 
Later on after we cleaned him and the bike up with a hose pipe I asked why he did it, the reply 'It looked solid from the bank'   

[gordon taylor]

I was a teenager who had an old bike with a dynamo lamp. The faster you pedalled, the brighter the light. I hit a cast-iron park bench at full speed whilst trying to out-shine my mate Stuart. The bike was wrecked, I was covered in blood and I thought he would die laughing.

[rogerzilla]

A tall kerb.  Deliberately, and rather fast, just to see what would happen (I was about 5 and you have to try these things at least once).

The bike survived OK, but my face didn't look great for the next week or so.

[Phil]

An automatic barrier.  It was down at the time.  I was leaving school in the middle of the winter at five thirty, and it was dark and my light wasn't much good.  I'd passed the barrier a hundred times, but it had always been up.  Assumption being the mother of all mistakes, I ploughed happily into it. 

Fortunately I had bar-ends on the mountain bike I was riding, and they protected my knuckles, the barrier being exactly at that height.  When I returned the next morning, I noticed the barrier was bent

[woollypigs]

A police car.

Taking a corner too fast and too sharply onto a bike lane (both directions) seeing gravel on path knowing that I would fall, decide that best way is to go down the one way street running next to the bike lane, coming towards me, as I would not break in time or safely.

Only to hit a police car coming towards me, so I do the classic flying over the bonnet and land on the other side of the car with the plod looking out of the window asking me if I was ok. Not a scratch on me, bike or police car.

[Si]

Myself.

Downhilling on MTB.  Cartwheeled it.  Cam to a stop.  Sat up thinking that I'd come out of it quite well when, BLAMMO, get twatted by my old bike as it catches me up.

[andrew_s]

Was that picture taken  by you or an amused bystander ?

Me. I went back in the morning to find out what it looked like by daylight.

[Sergeant Pluck]

Was that picture taken  by you or an amused bystander ?

Me. I went back in the morning to find out what it looked like by daylight.

What happened? Had you been taking on "refreshments"?

[rogerzilla]

Myself.

Downhilling on MTB.  Cartwheeled it.  Cam to a stop.  Sat up thinking that I'd come out of it quite well when, BLAMMO, get twatted by my old bike as it catches me up.

I did that on the road once - hit an ice sheet (frozen field run-off), slid for a while on my stomach and then got the bike from behind.

[unipaul]

A skip. Fully lit - and in daylight. Was falling asleep on my paper round and just
rode into it. It was closed - so I ended up stopping by smashing my chest on the rim.

[toekneep]

The back of a tipper truck. I was early teens I think, concentrating hard on getting my shoulder bag into the right position and then all of a sudden I wasn't on the bike anymore. I was sitting in a pile of sand in the back of this truck. Very embarassing.

[Jacomus]

A cashpoint 

It was raining, but I was late for work and stretching my guardian angel to her limit. I executed a perfect sprinting overtake of a bus that was stopping at a zebra crossing, by going into the opposing lane, around the ped island. Unfortunately the bus had obscured my vision and I didn't see the extra long Mercedes Sprinter van in front of the bus, right where I wanted to turn.

I knew I couldn't brake, I was already leant over in the turn, so I kept going around the outside of the van and somehow made it round. I was all out of shape and off the very fine line that avoids a cluster of manhole covers round the next corner. My guardian angel threw in the towel and there was a nads-toptube interface followed by a rider-tarmac interface. I slid up the (thankfully) dropped kerb and crashed into the wall below an ATM.

Some quick whitted barsteward was heard to remark "You're supposed to use a digger mate." 

[ian]

Admittedly not bizarre, but the ground.

Halcyon BMX days, when an exaggerated sense of ability met an equally exaggerated sense of uninjurability, and led me to believe I could move at speed on only my front wheel. Essentially, ramp up to warp factor ten and then slam the front brakes to kick the back end up into the air and keep your entire body over the front wheel to see how long you can roll along on the front wheel alone.

The answer was "not long".

Especially if you right foot slips off the pedal and into the front wheel causing a rapid deceleration and sudden approach of tarmac. After my chin had worn a grove in the tarmac sliding to a halt I did the usual damage report. Seemed good. I had survived with minimal damage. Didn't even hurt that much.

Unfortunately, I hadn't released the back end of the bike was still wavering above me, like the Sword (well, Hammer) of Damocles. Over it toppled, the bike saddle falling like hammer on the back of head, replanting my face in the pavement. Cue re-evaluation of that damage report.

[Mrs Pingu]

This thread is great.