Yet Another Cycling Forum

Off Topic => The Pub => Topic started by: rogerzilla on 18 November, 2011, 08:45:04 pm

Title: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 November, 2011, 08:45:04 pm
A thread for pointlessly amusing stories from the local press, not just the running joke that is the Swindon Advertiser.

I'll kick off with this one, which is notable both for the unimpressiveness of the photo and for the eminently sensible first reader comment.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/8683196.I___m_trapped_in_my_own_home_/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Maverick on 19 November, 2011, 02:28:43 pm
This is from the far distant (former) provinces

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/227721_10150189670889681_738479680_6991603_7524340_n.jpg (http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/227721_10150189670889681_738479680_6991603_7524340_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: robbo6 on 19 November, 2011, 03:50:32 pm
Except it has been a trifle exaggerated
http://chronicle.augusta.com/news/crime-courts/2010-11-26/shoplifting-suspect-stabs-marine?page=3
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: noisycrank on 19 November, 2011, 09:29:22 pm
Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614 (http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614)

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 November, 2011, 09:37:21 pm
Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614 (http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614)

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe
Quote
IT’s THAT time of year again. Weather forecasters promise the first flurries of Blue Toon snow in the coming weeks and Christmas is just around the corner.

But as children write their letters to Santa and mums begin to plan their fabulous festive feasts, a dark shadow looms over the town centre which threatens to dampen that community Christmas spirit.

That's almost Tony Parsons-esque.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rower40 on 23 November, 2011, 09:42:23 pm
My club getting its Warholesque 10 mins.
http://www.thisisderbyshire.co.uk/River-lights/story-13883950-detail/story.html (http://www.thisisderbyshire.co.uk/River-lights/story-13883950-detail/story.html)

How bad is it going to look if someone drops the Olympic Flame in the water?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 February, 2012, 05:47:50 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9525681.Mum_says_fishy_diet_led_to_birth_of_12lb_12oz_daughter/?ref=mr

Second comment  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Julian on 11 February, 2012, 05:56:37 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9525681.Mum_says_fishy_diet_led_to_birth_of_12lb_12oz_daughter/?ref=mr

Second comment  ;D

That's absolutely lovely.  Okay, it's a total non-story, but WTF is wrong with people?  Two comments, one making schoolboy jokes about the possible size of her vagina (vaginas are like concertinas, they can stretch and then return to normality) and the other one criticising a woman WHO HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH FFS for being FAT.  Jeez.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Julian on 11 February, 2012, 06:15:08 pm
Although for total non-stories, I think this one's got to be in the running:

http://www.ealinggazette.co.uk/ealing-news/local-ealing-news/2012/02/01/severe-delays-on-piccadilly-line-after-mystery-illness-at-north-ealing-64767-30246103/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 February, 2012, 06:23:52 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9525681.Mum_says_fishy_diet_led_to_birth_of_12lb_12oz_daughter/?ref=mr

Second comment  ;D

That's absolutely lovely.  Okay, it's a total non-story, but WTF is wrong with people?  Two comments, one making schoolboy jokes about the possible size of her vagina (vaginas are like concertinas, they can stretch and then return to normality) and the other one criticising a woman WHO HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH FFS for being FAT.  Jeez.
It sums up Swindon, though, in its sheer crassness.  The story and the comments.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rower40 on 11 February, 2012, 06:34:13 pm
Although for total non-stories, I think this one's got to be in the running:

http://www.ealinggazette.co.uk/ealing-news/local-ealing-news/2012/02/01/severe-delays-on-piccadilly-line-after-mystery-illness-at-north-ealing-64767-30246103/
Bzzzt.  Even in the most London-Centric view of the universe, Ealing doesn't count as provincial. ;D

Even so, I hope the casualty Gets Well Soon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rig of Jarkness on 21 February, 2012, 06:31:01 pm
A nice story about the goings on on Lothian RT's no 30 bus  :thumbsup:

http://www.scotsman.com/edinburgh-evening-news/mystery_youtube_bus_singing_sensation_revealed_1_2129382
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 February, 2012, 07:13:57 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9544462.Row_erupts_over_naming_of_new_nightclub/?ref=mr

The actual story is boring, but scroll down for the marketing puff at the end  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on 22 February, 2012, 08:16:32 pm
Wonderful!  ;D

What the hell were they on when they wrote that?

Having their very organ grasped?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 21 March, 2012, 09:25:27 pm
Spotted by me today, in a York Press from earlier in the week, quoted in full, as verbatim as I can remember.

"A child was locked in a car yesterday in X Street. The child's mother called the fire service at 7.52am. They attended, and persuaded the child to unlock the car from the inside, and left shortly after 8am".


I'm so glad I know where a fire engine was for those 8 minutes...

(there isn't an X Street, BTW, I can't remember which street it was.)


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 23 March, 2012, 04:36:54 pm
I've never been to Whitby so I don't know how believable this is

http://www.scarborougheveningnews.co.uk/news/local/my-mother-is-a-9ft-green-alien-says-councillor-1-4377481?commentssort=1
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 23 March, 2012, 04:42:57 pm
Extremely believable.

Especially during Goth weekend.

What's more terrifying, is that he looks like me, but with less hair.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 23 March, 2012, 04:52:30 pm
Maybe he's you from the future.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 23 March, 2012, 05:01:47 pm
Nah, my mum was purple, not green.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 April, 2012, 10:00:14 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9661089.Naked_man_on_path_says_he_needed_toilet/?ref=mr

Poor bloke.  I mean, who hasn't stopped their bike for a roadside slash and then decided to strip off completely?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 July, 2012, 08:09:35 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9821675.Bungling_council_workers_paint_wrong_road_sign/?ref=mr

Another frantic news day at the Swindon Advertiser.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 September, 2012, 06:54:29 pm
http://www.hemeltoday.co.uk/news/local/hemel-hempstead-dog-poo-bin-set-on-fire-1-4096956
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 01 October, 2012, 01:00:38 pm
http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/firefighters-rescue-man-with-head-stuck-in-bin-1-2556909

When I saw the headline I thought it might be an audaxer but it wasn't.

An update http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/bucket-heid-man-recalls-shocking-bin-ordeal-1-2556909
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 03 October, 2012, 04:41:33 pm
Funny in that they believe this is actually newsworthy: -

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/pupils-walk-to-school-after-bus-crash-1.1000967?referrerPath=home
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 October, 2012, 05:16:29 pm
That reminds me of a notice I saw outside a primary school somewhere in north Bristol: Please do not park here next Monday as we will be using this area to practice for our walking to school day.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Butterfly on 03 October, 2012, 06:20:42 pm
Funny in that they believe this is actually newsworthy: -

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/pupils-walk-to-school-after-bus-crash-1.1000967?referrerPath=home

Forced to walk from a crash 'yards from the school gates'?

OMG! THE HORROR!!!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 03 October, 2012, 07:27:39 pm
:o I hope they are all contacting compensation lawyers to claim for the stress.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 October, 2012, 07:30:09 pm
Maybe they didn't have enough hi-vis jackets to go round?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 03 October, 2012, 07:36:11 pm
I saw a little report in the York Press the other day, about an incident where a motorbiker hit a sheep. Apparently, his bike caught fire, which is impressive.  The last line said, "The sheep is thought to have died".

Thought to have? It must have been an especially dim sheep if they can't tell...

(I assume the sheep ran off, and they found a dead one later, but can't be sure that was it)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 October, 2012, 07:45:55 pm
The Echo's billboard this morning was some stuff bout experts warning on the potential disappearance of Southend's beaches. It doesn't seem to have found its way onto the website.

The Echo is massively against anything to do with the environmental movement generally, so if experts are warning about sea level rises then they might have to do some adroit thinking, which is something hey are not good at.

Quote from: The Independent
When the Thames Barrier was being designed in the 1970s, global average sea levels were rising at about 1.8 millimetres a year and global warming was not seen as a threat, but in the past 15 years the rate has nearly doubled to about 3.1mm a year and many scientists expect it to accelerate still further.

When we were on Northey Island last month, teh Naturual England bod reckoned the current rate of sea level rise in SE England was 6mm. That's a hell of a lot.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 03 October, 2012, 07:51:15 pm
6mm per year or per millennium?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 03 October, 2012, 09:10:55 pm
Quiet day on the internet:


blogger-reports-on-dog-poo-headline (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=53981.msg1311598#msg1311598)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 October, 2012, 09:16:49 pm
6mm per year or per millennium?

Per year.

Quote
When the Thames Barrier was being designed in the 1970s, global average sea levels were rising at about 1.8 millimetres a year and global warming was not seen as a threat, but in the past 15 years the rate has nearly doubled to about 3.1mm a year and many scientists expect it to accelerate still further.

From http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/climate-change/sea-levels-rising-too-fast-for-thames-barrier-799303.html . That was dated 2008, which, assuming the Nat Eng. lass was right, and 3.1mm was the average for the 15 years from 1003 to 2008, that projects onto a doubling in the past 11 years.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 30 November, 2012, 02:33:41 pm
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/lake-district-hit-by-earthquake-1.1018068?referrerPath=home

Quote
An earthquake struck the Lake District last night.

According to the British Geological Survey, the quake - which had a magnitude of 2.1 on the Richter Scale - originated about 6km underground at Patterdale at 9.37pm.

...

It was the fourth largest quake around the British Isles in the last 50 days, says the BGS


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 30 November, 2012, 03:36:30 pm
Meanwhile, in the westcountry: http://www.midweekherald.co.uk/news/new_loo_for_honiton_golf_club_1_1717003
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 30 November, 2012, 05:16:36 pm
Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614 (http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614)

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe
Oi! I am not rimming slang!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 30 November, 2012, 05:20:15 pm
Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614 (http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/ :hand:absolute_disgrace_1_1952614)

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe
Oi! I am not rimming slang!

We really don't want to know who you are rimming. :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 30 November, 2012, 08:37:35 pm
Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614 (http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/ :hand:absolute_disgrace_1_1952614)

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe
Oi! I am not rimming slang!

We really don't want to know who you are rimming. :hand:
Is "squelch" rimming slang?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on 30 November, 2012, 09:52:06 pm
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/lake-district-hit-by-earthquake-1.1018068?referrerPath=home

Quote
An earthquake struck the Lake District last night.

According to the British Geological Survey, the quake - which had a magnitude of 2.1 on the Richter Scale - originated about 6km underground at Patterdale at 9.37pm.

...

It was the fourth largest quake around the British Isles in the last 50 days, says the BGS
Actually, it "Rocked Cumbria" ::-)
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/earthquake-rocks-cumbria-1.1018064?referrerPath=home
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 30 November, 2012, 09:58:58 pm
Never mind though, a dog caught a shark on Seascale beach!

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/catch-of-the-day-1.1018103?referrerPath=home
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Androcles on 01 December, 2012, 12:04:12 am
Never mind though, a dog caught a shark on Seascale beach!

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/catch-of-the-day-1.1018103?referrerPath=home

Catshark?  You couldn't make it up. 

Don't tell Webber that the Bull Huss is also known as the Greater Spotted Dogfish
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 December, 2012, 08:25:15 pm
ZOMG ROYAL FOETUS IN BRUM!

http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/uk-news/duchess-of-cambridge-probably-pregnant-when-she-visited-352092
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 03 December, 2012, 08:31:11 pm
*Doffs cap*
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 December, 2012, 09:44:23 pm
*Doffs cap*

Isn't that a rather old-fashioned contraceptive? It clearly doesn't work.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 December, 2012, 11:39:18 pm
Kate was a right royal toff
The kind who your cap you would doff
But her cap was doff
Now she's up the doff
I think this has gone on enoff
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 December, 2012, 09:02:02 pm
Jahmene is turning on the Christmas lights in Swindon, the ones that Cheggers was going to do but got rained off.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10086234.Jahmene_Douglas_coming_home_to_Swindon__to_switch_on_lights_at_Wharf_Green/?ref=mr

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 04 December, 2012, 09:20:51 pm
I can't tell you how excited we are at that news.

No, literally, I cannot tell you.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 04 December, 2012, 10:25:16 pm
Jahmene?

When did they start to just make up names for babies?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 05 December, 2012, 06:41:20 am
Jahmene?

When did they start to just make up names for babies?
He's a bit furrinish-looking, so it could be a normal name (also has v. good control over his voice).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 December, 2012, 06:59:12 am
His abusive father, of which we've heard so much, had a fairly normal name.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 05 December, 2012, 07:08:57 am
I can't tell you how excited we are at that news.

No, literally, I cannot tell you.
Because it's Jahmene or because it's not Cheggers?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 05 December, 2012, 07:25:27 am
Jahmene? ???

Who is he???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 05 December, 2012, 07:46:41 am
Don't you read the newspapers?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 05 December, 2012, 07:52:30 am
Don't you read the newspapers?

One relies on the Today programme and Private Eye...  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 05 December, 2012, 08:06:14 am
Jahmene? ???

Who is he???

He is a popular beat combo, My Lord.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Butterfly on 05 December, 2012, 10:46:14 am
Jahmene? ???

Who is he???

He is a popular beat combo, My Lord.

All by himself! :o

He must be very good.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 December, 2012, 11:59:51 am
Rueben turned on ours. Or is he Reuben?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 05 December, 2012, 12:18:55 pm
Billy Reuben?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PhilO on 05 December, 2012, 12:29:38 pm
Our local rag is currently moaning about free car parking. (http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/newport_parking/10085304.NEWPORT_PARKING__Argus_campaign_nets_strong_support_from_County_fans/)

The highlight of that report, for me, was:
Quote
Helen Hayward, 60, of Tintern, said she prefers to travel to Cribbs Causeway in Bristol where parking is free

So, lets get this straight; Ms Hayward would rather pay £6 to cross the Severn Bridge and get free parking, than pay £1 for three hours parking?  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 05 December, 2012, 12:31:23 pm
I reckon we could sell her the bridge ;)
Title: Re: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 December, 2012, 01:43:45 pm
Jahmene? ???

Who is he???

He is a popular beat combo, My Lord.

All by himself! :o

He must be very good.
He's actually a male version of the wailing Mariah Carey, who has mastered one song but does everything else in the same OTT style.  And he has the inevitable sob story.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 December, 2012, 02:06:06 pm
Our local rag is currently moaning about free car parking. (http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/newport_parking/10085304.NEWPORT_PARKING__Argus_campaign_nets_strong_support_from_County_fans/)

The highlight of that report, for me, was:
Quote
Helen Hayward, 60, of Tintern, said she prefers to travel to Cribbs Causeway in Bristol where parking is free

So, lets get this straight; Ms Hayward would rather pay £6 to cross the Severn Bridge and get free parking, than pay £1 for three hours parking?  :facepalm:
The Bridge is worth £6 for the views. And the winds.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 05 December, 2012, 02:08:43 pm
If you had been shopping in Newport you'd probably want to be paid to go there again.  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 December, 2012, 02:14:20 pm
If I had been shopping in Newport I'd cross the bridge for free on my way home. But then I do anyway. Crossed that bridge many times but never paid.  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 December, 2012, 06:57:31 pm
Live by-the-minute coverage;

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10089249.Jahmene_comes_home_to_Swindon/

 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 06 December, 2012, 10:53:36 am
Is his fringe painted on?
Title: Re: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 December, 2012, 11:01:19 am
Is his fringe painted on?
Someone certainly used a set square.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 06 December, 2012, 12:45:12 pm
Live by-the-minute coverage;

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10089249.Jahmene_comes_home_to_Swindon/

 ;D

I'm still none the wiser.  But who is that with him?  Looks like a slightly more feminine Michael Jackson (if such a thing were possible)...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: CAMRAMan on 06 December, 2012, 02:55:31 pm
It's all happening in Warwick... (http://www.warwickcourier.co.uk/news/local/chimney-fire-in-warwick-1-4547843)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on 06 December, 2012, 08:06:54 pm
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/isle-of-anglesey-seen-from-walney-1.1015911?referrerPath=news/walney
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 December, 2012, 08:08:40 pm
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/isle-of-anglesey-seen-from-walney-1.1015911?referrerPath=news/walney
It's...er...pretty close.  Is it normally foggy, or something?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on 06 December, 2012, 08:23:10 pm
Not sure, but the Isle of Man is easy to see from there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 06 December, 2012, 08:24:06 pm
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/isle-of-anglesey-seen-from-walney-1.1015911?referrerPath=news/walney
It's...er...pretty close.  Is it normally foggy, or something?

I've got a feeling that isn't Anglesey, but the Isle of Man. It looks too hilly to be Anglesey.

I can't claim much expertise here, never having been to Walney Island, but I did photograph Anglesey a few years ago from St. Bees.

Edit: cross post with COG.

(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/4645-1/DSC03469.JPG)

That's the Isle of Man taken at the start of our Coast to Coast 4 years ago.

Anglesey is so close to the mainland that it would be indistingushable from that distance.

(http://www.nwemail.co.uk/polopoly_fs/e94250-1.1015912!image/723652233.jpg_gen/derivatives/wholeColumn/723652233.jpg)

The island to the left is the Calf of Man, I'm pretty sure.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 06 December, 2012, 08:47:24 pm
It's all happening in Warwick... (http://www.warwickcourier.co.uk/news/local/chimney-fire-in-warwick-1-4547843)

Wow, that's almost as exciting as the teatowel on fire reported in the York Press a couple of years ago.

(The teatowel was left on a hob and caught fire. The owner extinguished it by putting it in the sink before the Brigade arrived. The teatowel was slightly damaged)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 December, 2012, 09:30:27 pm
The original inspiration for this, either FHM or Loaded (I forget which) once had a story in which an entire kettle burnt to the ground.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on 08 December, 2012, 06:04:56 pm
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/isle-of-anglesey-seen-from-walney-1.1015911?referrerPath=news/walney

(CO'Gs mate)

The EM have excelled themselves with this one, mistaking a whole country for part of another ::-)
It is indeed Cav's homeland, as often seen from Walney.
That isn't the Calf on the left, a common mistake people make when seeing it that clearly, but the southernmost of the Land of Kippers' mountains, South Barrule, remember that only land over a certain height  ( I think 200m, I'll have to calculate it) will appear over the horizon at this distance and  sea level elevation. The Calf is much too low and behind the main island.
North Wales is visible from the higher hills in Furness, but only the very tops of some of the northernmost mountains, in good weather to people who know where to look.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 15 December, 2012, 07:31:07 pm
drugs-factory-uncovered-on-liverpool-street-after-dog-was-electrocuted-and-killed (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news//tm_headline=drugs-factory-uncovered-on-liverpool-street-after-dog-was-electrocuted-and-killed%26method=full%26objectid=32431942%26siteid=100252-name_page.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 December, 2012, 08:12:10 pm
It's those revellers again.  This time they're causing carnage across Britain:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2248992/Christmas-2012-Drunken-revellers-cause-carnage-Britain.html

(Article best read in a Chris Morris voice.  Bonus points for creepy use of literal captioning.)


When's the next FNRttS?  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 16 December, 2012, 08:55:30 pm
http://www.thisiscornwall.co.uk/Swear-word-scratched-car-paintwork-near-St/story-17587523-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 16 December, 2012, 08:58:43 pm
But the photo is of a police car, not the actual car, so we don't know if it was "damn" or something ruder.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 16 December, 2012, 09:04:29 pm
But the photo is of a police car, not the actual car, so we don't know if it was "damn" or something ruder.

Oh! I'd assumed it was 'Police'. And rather well done.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 17 December, 2012, 12:44:45 am
Could be 'Devon'?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 December, 2012, 09:24:36 am
Live coverage of the Apocalypse from the Swindon Advertiser.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10122759.Mayan_Calendar__World_ends_December_21___L
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 21 December, 2012, 09:29:31 am
If anything were to convince me we were in The End Times, it might be a trip to Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 December, 2012, 10:02:29 am
I think Swindon willingly embraces the end of the world.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 December, 2012, 01:36:09 pm
Live coverage of the Apocalypse from the Swindon Advertiser.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10122759.Mayan_Calendar__World_ends_December_21___L

Article not found!  The end of the world must be nigh!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Butterfly on 21 December, 2012, 02:13:32 pm
Live coverage of the Apocalypse from the Swindon Advertiser.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10122759.Mayan_Calendar__World_ends_December_21___L

Article not found!  The end of the world must be nigh!

I think the end of the world may have been limited to Swindon, where it could do no harm.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kang on 21 December, 2012, 02:37:01 pm
WE HAVE TAKEN SWINDON.  DOES ANYONE WANT IT BACK?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 21 December, 2012, 02:38:21 pm
Nah.  You're all reet.  Do you want the rest of the South to go with it?  Shame to split the set.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on 21 December, 2012, 08:28:31 pm
please take slough with as well please .it won't be missed  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 December, 2012, 03:10:49 pm
Jahmene has bought a Christmast (sic) tree.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10125412.First_real_Christmast_tree_for_Jahmene_and_family/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clifftaylor on 24 December, 2012, 05:29:57 pm
zOMG apocalypse or what:

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10126572.Strong_winds_blow_down_tree_in_Stratton/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on 25 December, 2012, 02:21:39 pm
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/post-box-blown-up-in-grange-1.1023705?referrerPath=news/grange
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Clare on 25 December, 2012, 02:48:46 pm
Jahmene has bought a Christmast (sic) tree.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10125412.First_real_Christmast_tree_for_Jahmene_and_family/?ref=mr

What is a Jahmene?

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 25 December, 2012, 02:51:09 pm
Jahmene has bought a Christmast (sic) tree.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10125412.First_real_Christmast_tree_for_Jahmene_and_family/?ref=mr

He's probably installed a mobile phone aerial in it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 02 January, 2013, 05:34:53 pm
http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/10136456.Have_you_been_hit_by_a_sewage_smell_in_Caerwent_/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tewdric on 02 January, 2013, 05:40:39 pm
http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/10136456.Have_you_been_hit_by_a_sewage_smell_in_Caerwent_/

Flatus did ride through within 10 miles or so the other week..
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 02 January, 2013, 08:11:04 pm
Sadly, I didn't have my camera with me a few days ago when our local rag's billboards screamed the apocolyptic headline "Man is injured in seafront flat".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 02 January, 2013, 10:11:07 pm
http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/10136456.Have_you_been_hit_by_a_sewage_smell_in_Caerwent_/

At the other end, Caernarfon often smells of intestinal byproducts. And pee. It's never mentioned in the papers though.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Toady on 02 January, 2013, 10:35:01 pm
Loving this thread.  When I was a student my mother used to cut out stories from the Abergavenny Chronicle and send them to me pasted to postcards.  Sadly I've lost them now, gems like  Well Known Milkman Retires and Sad Death of Cat.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 03 January, 2013, 12:19:37 am
Ladies and gentlemen, if it's "Poorly parked mo-ped in toppling horror" or "Vicar - no cycle clips shock" or "Plwmp community jumble sale raises £13.25 for pet hamsters in war-zones", you want, then I give you my favourite local- The Tivey Side Advertiser (http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/)

We but it every week for the hilarity.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 January, 2013, 12:59:42 am
(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/17959-1/IMAG0103.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 03 January, 2013, 02:24:02 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, if it's "Poorly parked mo-ped in toppling horror" or "Vicar - no cycle clips shock" or "Plwmp community jumble sale raises £13.25 for pet hamsters in war-zones", you want, then I give you my favourite local- The Tivey Side Advertiser (http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/)

We but it every week for the hilarity.
Yebbut yebbut yebbut! What about this?

http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10128725.Cyclists_told_to_stay_off_pavements/ (http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10128725.Cyclists_told_to_stay_off_pavements/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 03 January, 2013, 03:05:59 pm
Police do not know what caused bus to crash into a lamppost (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/no_indication_what_caused_bus_to_crash_into_lamppost_say_police_1_1758560)

Less than competent driving, I'd suggest  :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 03 January, 2013, 07:13:07 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, if it's "Poorly parked mo-ped in toppling horror" or "Vicar - no cycle clips shock" or "Plwmp community jumble sale raises £13.25 for pet hamsters in war-zones", you want, then I give you my favourite local- The Tivey Side Advertiser (http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/)

We but it every week for the hilarity.

Love this one:

http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10128919.Christmas_cooker_fire/

There was something similar in the York Press once, involving a teatowel.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 03 January, 2013, 07:44:23 pm
I seem to remember the Birmingham Mail (then The Evening Mail) some years ago had a headline on page n "Naked Man Found Dead"
On reading the three column inch article one discovered where this naked man was found.

In his bed.  :o

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 January, 2013, 07:45:21 pm
By far the most calamitous story from Basil's neck of the woods has to be this.
Quote
Teddies taken

10:31am Friday 21st December 2012 in News
Two small 'Jellycat' teddies were stolen from Elliana's store in Cardigan on December 17.

The theft took place at approximately 2.30pm, and the suspect is described as a white female in her mid to late 20's.

She is of a large build and was wearing a dark jacket with a heart shaped union jack emblem on the chest.

The female was holding a distinctive large Sports Direct / Lonsdale plastic bag.

Anyone with information is asked to contact Cardigan Police Station on 101.
http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10123043.Teddies_taken/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 05 January, 2013, 01:46:47 pm
http://www.scotsman.com/news/scottish-news/top-stories/plumber-fixes-pensioner-s-catheter-leak-1-2720761
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 January, 2013, 07:27:15 pm
Okay, it's old.  And the principle has been well documented elsewhere.  But worth it for the photo:

Classical music deters teenagers from shopping centre (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-16307364)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 05 January, 2013, 07:33:08 pm
Okay, it's old.  And the principle has been well documented elsewhere.  But worth it for the photo:

Classical music deters teenagers from shopping centre (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-16307364)

Quote from: A Policeman
Since the scheme went live, fewer young people are gathering on the ramp and we've seen a dip in the number of people who are asking us to move them on.

"Officer, I'd like to be moved on in order to avoid having to listen to this classical music. Could you oblige please, in order to help me overcome my inertia?"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 January, 2013, 08:07:08 pm
They did the same thing in Swindon to stop the scratters swarming over IK Brunel's statue:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wiltshire/3157494.stm

Obligatory crap joke at the end.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 January, 2013, 08:11:17 pm
Okay, it's old.  And the principle has been well documented elsewhere.  But worth it for the photo:

Classical music deters teenagers from shopping centre (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-16307364)
"the Pallasades"? Is that a typo or is actually called that? (In a minute we can deal with whether teenagers hanging round is actually a problem)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 January, 2013, 08:13:38 pm
Yup.  It's the retail opportunity above Mordor Central.

http://www.thepallasades.co.uk/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 January, 2013, 10:23:39 pm
It has (or had) a 98p shop, which is one in the eye for Poundland and the 99p Store.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 06 January, 2013, 12:59:15 am
They did the same thing in Swindon to stop the scratters swarming over IK Brunel's statue:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wiltshire/3157494.stm

Obligatory crap joke at the end.

Westfield Swindon.

That's quite a thought.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Salvatore on 06 January, 2013, 02:50:22 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/A_3ZmoaCQAAHHIB.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cuddy duck on 06 January, 2013, 03:09:26 pm
http://www.morpethherald.co.uk/news/business/businesses-news/parking-tickets-drove-me-away-1-5038309

This was front page, banner headline fare.
The griping aromatherapist lives 1.3 miles, door to door, from her clinic. A 20 minute walk or 5 minute bike ride. Some 6 peak time buses an hour pass the end of her street en route the bus station which is closer - 20 yards - to her business than any legal parking space.
Her decision to drive every day doesn't even meet criteria of narrowest and most short term self-interest that informs much urban driving, because look, it causes her suffering.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 06 January, 2013, 05:02:07 pm
Do her ten students from Japan (i.e. 40% of her course) really want to drive? Have they all hired cars? Hmm. Morpeth has a population of 14000, so it's small enough that everywhere should be in easy walking distance from the centre, & it looks pretty compact on the map. Perhaps she's seriously inconveniencing them by moving the course to Cramlington.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 06 January, 2013, 05:08:18 pm
The headline should have read "Aromatherapist kicks up a stink".

Is aromatherapy not a subsection of the wide and diverse field of science which comes under the heading "Utter Bollocks"?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 06 January, 2013, 05:15:55 pm
A quack ducking the issue?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 06 January, 2013, 06:12:43 pm
The headline should have read "Aromatherapist kicks up a stink".

Is aromatherapy not a subsection of the wide and diverse field of science which comes under the heading "Utter Bollocks"?
1,  :thumbsup:
2. Yes.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cuddy duck on 06 January, 2013, 07:09:45 pm
Do her ten students from Japan (i.e. 40% of her course) really want to drive? Have they all hired cars? Hmm. Morpeth has a population of 14000, so it's small enough that everywhere should be in easy walking distance from the centre, & it looks pretty compact on the map. Perhaps she's seriously inconveniencing them by moving the course to Cramlington.
Well quite. If fewer loons drove over trivial distances into the centre to work every day the town's congestion and parking over-subscription problems would be solved at a stroke. Room enough for her students, room enough for the golden-egg laying shoppers to drive in for 46miles of knicker elastic from the Sewing Shop, a pallet of E L James from Appleby's Bookshop and a 100gallon drum of E45 cream from the Wellway Pharmacy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 January, 2013, 12:01:12 am
This pile of shit went national:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9778470/Health-warning-as-manure-fire-burns-in-Duchess-of-Cambridges-home-village.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 07 January, 2013, 09:24:16 am
This pile of shit went national:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9778470/Health-warning-as-manure-fire-burns-in-Duchess-of-Cambridges-home-village.html


"...firefighters warned substances within the heap could release particles that could irritate airways, the skin and the eyes."


Or as we know it, smoke.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 January, 2013, 07:42:32 pm
http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/invasive_killer_slug_found_outside_norwich_1_1790374
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 26 January, 2013, 08:25:50 am
(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/18021-1/IMAG0106.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: slope on 26 January, 2013, 04:50:50 pm
Storm in Gog

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-20860465
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 January, 2013, 06:17:05 pm
Storm in Gog

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-20860465
That's a killer outfit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: slope on 27 January, 2013, 04:11:06 pm
Storm in Gog

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-20860465
That's a killer outfit.

What a Carry On Up The Pwllheli

"Dr Lewis was expecting the cashier to ask him for "pum-deg-wyth punt, chwedeg-dau".

But instead she said his shopping was "fifty-eight pounds and sixty-two pence".

When the first officer from North Wales Police arrived back-up had to be called because he was a non-Welsh speaker"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 28 January, 2013, 07:44:35 am
I gotta say that altho' this is an amusing thread, it does smack somewhat of condescension. 

After all, provincial newspapers suffer the eagle eye of their bigger brethren who at a moments notice can swoop in and pinch the best stories leaving them sole coverage of minutiae and trivia.

We should celebrate the fact that we can read about mattesses disrupting people's lives as some relief from the tsunamis and earthquakes that irrevocably devastate entire populations.   

The reader who asks:

Quote
Has it been removed yet? Has anyone had the decency to help this poor lady get out and about? News update required!!!

Was quite right, the story is incomplete, we need to know!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on 28 January, 2013, 10:33:47 am
http://www.croydonguardian.co.uk/news/10186457.___I_will_kill_everyone__screams_antisocial_behaviour_mediator_during_homophobic_attack/?ref=mr

 ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mmmmartin on 28 January, 2013, 10:52:29 am
When the FNRttc did LonJog we stopped for coffee at South Queensferry, and someone leant their bike against the windows of this shop

 http://goo.gl/maps/cuG4i (http://goo.gl/maps/cuG4i)

and he called the police, which we thought was quite funny.

What was even funnier was that within 10 minutes, two policemen actually arrived. Those living in That London, where you practically have to be murdered to get a copper, were bemused. So outside the M25, it's different.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 30 January, 2013, 09:01:02 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10192612.Puppy_dies_minutes_into_Swindon_store_grooming/

A sad tale of mouthwash, a wedding and anthropomorphism.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jules on 30 January, 2013, 11:11:31 pm
Using a dog as the "best man" - That's funny even for Swindon.

£1800 for a dog!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 31 January, 2013, 08:28:33 pm
Using a dog as the "best man" - That's funny even for Swindon.

£1800 for a dog!

But it's not about the money, remember.  Makes you wonder why they mentioned the cost then...

Found this today:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10198186.UFO_over_York__Police_probe_reports_of_space_debris_falling_in_York/

“An officer attended the scene and found a hole in a grass verge approximately 1ft deep,” she said.

“There was no debris inside the hole and we are not in a position to confirm how or when the hole was made. The City of York Council will be made aware of the hole."

I wonder if they'll rush to fill it in as fast as the potholes on Foss Islands Road and Walmgate junction.

Apparently there was some space debris over Yorkshire last night, I missed it. Or it missed me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 31 January, 2013, 09:02:53 pm
Found this today:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10198186.UFO_over_York__Police_probe_reports_of_space_debris_falling_in_York/

“An officer attended the scene and found a hole in a grass verge approximately 1ft deep,” she said.

“There was no debris inside the hole and we are not in a position to confirm how or when the hole was made. The City of York Council will be made aware of the hole."
It was them spacewowbadgers, I reckon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 01 February, 2013, 01:26:35 pm
Found this today:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10198186.UFO_over_York__Police_probe_reports_of_space_debris_falling_in_York/

“An officer attended the scene and found a hole in a grass verge approximately 1ft deep,” she said.

“There was no debris inside the hole and we are not in a position to confirm how or when the hole was made. The City of York Council will be made aware of the hole."
It was them spacewowbadgers, I reckon.

It's a crying shame.  What a waste of an opportunity to say that they will be looking into it
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 08 February, 2013, 08:50:16 am
Michaela got bitten in her special place by a capital city.

Here (http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/Michaela-Strachan-recalls-died-lima-bit-wild/story-18088025-detail/story.html#axzz2KIMPg9iv)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 08 February, 2013, 09:00:03 am
Warning: Clicking on that link could make a little Cheggers pop up! :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 08 February, 2013, 10:58:01 am
Donkeys really benefit from doing things with people (http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/Donkeys-really-benefit-doing-things-people/story-18089456-detail/story.html#axzz2KIuU7T3Y)
[Western Morning News]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 February, 2013, 04:35:10 pm
York Evening press never fails

Quote
Sentamu: Pope will be missed

THE shock resignation of Pope Benedict XVI has saddened Catholics in York.
Quote

Sentamu. That would be the Archbishop of York.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 February, 2013, 06:45:27 pm
Not the brightest pikey-do-as-you-likeys; dumped their crap in the entrance of a car park, then realised they couldn't get out.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10219693.Shock_over_flytipping_at_park/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 12 February, 2013, 07:42:13 am
Not the brightest pikey-do-as-you-likeys; dumped their crap in the entrance of a car park, then realised they couldn't get out.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10219693.Shock_over_flytipping_at_park/?ref=mr

Ah - the Cotswold Water Park.  One of Private Eye's favourite 'In the Back' series...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 February, 2013, 07:55:22 am
It's a load of windswept gravel pits with "second home only" (keeps the poor people out) flats around the edge of some of them.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 12 February, 2013, 01:33:19 pm
Sounds as if parts of it may be attractive to doggers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 12 February, 2013, 05:00:48 pm
Sounds as if parts of it may be attractive to doggers.

Roger has a season ticket....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 February, 2013, 08:27:16 pm
Two amusing descriptions of Swindon flashers.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10237061.Chubby_man_exposed_himself_near_school/

and a particularly dim burglar

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10235884.Shopkeeper_slams__the_worst_thief_in_the_world_/

I think you're getting a reasonably rounded picture of Swindon Man here.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 19 February, 2013, 08:31:32 pm
Quote
...the Wong Kee Fish Bar...

Sounds like a quality establishment.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 February, 2013, 09:07:57 pm
And the scampi comes with the cream of Sum Yung Gai.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 19 February, 2013, 09:38:28 pm
It's a load of windswept gravel pits with "second home only" (keeps the poor people out) flats around the edge of some of them.

It's full of weekenders who don't like hills.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: matthew on 21 February, 2013, 09:30:38 am
what's Roger been up to now? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-21528992)  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 February, 2013, 11:03:04 am
Often they burn them instead.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 25 February, 2013, 02:23:06 pm
This tickled my funnybone... (http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Famous-car-prank-will-be-re-staged-25022013.htm)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 25 February, 2013, 02:28:55 pm
Shame they're not actually putting it on the roof. :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 25 February, 2013, 11:39:59 pm
When does the Chimney Fire Season (http://www.cotswoldjournal.co.uk/news/10250244.Chimney_fire_season_continues_in_the_Cotswolds/?ref=mr) end  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 25 February, 2013, 11:53:42 pm
And how does one use breathing apparatus to extinguish a fire?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 25 February, 2013, 11:58:08 pm
Carefully.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 February, 2013, 06:38:15 am
This (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-21577948) just in from one of the further-flung provinces.

Obviously, in Didcot or Swindon you can see this any Saturday in summer.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 February, 2013, 09:36:37 pm
Never has there been a more banal artist's muse.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10255970.Exhibition_of_paintings_inspired_by_Swindon_McDonald_s/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 February, 2013, 10:29:02 pm
This (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-21577948) just in from one of the further-flung provinces.

Obviously, in Didcot or Swindon you can see this any Saturday in summer.
Marriage... it's all about providing a stable environment for kids to grow up in.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: madcow on 28 February, 2013, 11:00:17 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10256214.Police_use_robber_s_mobile_phone_to_call_his_mother__court_told/?ref=mr (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10256214.Police_use_robber_s_mobile_phone_to_call_his_mother__court_told/?ref=mr)

"Unsophisticated"= Your honour, I wish to point out that my client is not likely to be considering  membership of  MENSA in the near future.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PaulF on 01 March, 2013, 10:31:11 pm
http://www.heraldseries.co.uk/news/10255720.Cyclists_refute_claim_website_encourages_speeding/

Quote
And in Bayworth Down in Boars Hill, a cyclist was logged at 46mph along a 40mph road, approaching speeds Tour de France and Olympic gold medallist Bradley Wiggins regularly clocks during sprints.

I'll letbou read the taxi driver's comments for yourself....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 01 March, 2013, 10:32:22 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10256214.Police_use_robber_s_mobile_phone_to_call_his_mother__court_told/?ref=mr (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10256214.Police_use_robber_s_mobile_phone_to_call_his_mother__court_told/?ref=mr)

"Unsophisticated"= Your honour, I wish to point out that my client is not likely to be considering  membership of  MENSA in the near future.

Judge Spittle. One for the nominative determinism thread, that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 March, 2013, 06:12:44 pm
Oh dear...I hope this isn't the fault of a certain YACFer  :o

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10265441.Bomb_scare_in_West_Swindon/

/compulsory Swindon joke

It was a bomb scare because they were scared it might not go off, then they'd have to keep living and working in West Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 04 March, 2013, 06:58:50 pm
Lib Dem councillor in Ratners moment shows not-so-Blyth spirit (http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/communities/blyth/2013/03/02/northumberland-council-boss-jeff-reid-labels-blyth-a-dump-72703-32911111/).

I've never been to Blyth, but unbelievably he says he prefers to shop in Cramlington.. Blyth can't be that bad!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 04 March, 2013, 07:24:21 pm
Ceredigion baddies are getting well techie. (http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10265420.Mobile_phone_stolen_in_burglary/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 04 March, 2013, 08:19:55 pm
Since the Police have released such a full description: 'black', I guess everyone is now looking out for it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 04 March, 2013, 08:30:42 pm
Since the Police have released such a full description: 'black', I guess everyone is now looking out for it.

I've just realised my phone is black. I must have stolen it!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 04 March, 2013, 08:32:17 pm
I like the appeal for witnesses.

Were you in the room when they picked it up?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on 05 March, 2013, 06:13:20 pm
Never mind the mobile, what about the ammunition tin?
http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10265434.Theft_of_sentimental_wartime_item/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 March, 2013, 07:55:06 pm
Pure class from Swindon.

Tramps leave graffiti tribute to fellow tramp.  Great photos.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10266084.Pals_leave_tribute_as_Swindon_s____Codger____is_laid_to_rest/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Dibdib on 05 March, 2013, 08:05:21 pm
Oh dear...I hope this isn't the fault of a certain YACFer  :o

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10265441.Bomb_scare_in_West_Swindon/

/compulsory Swindon joke

It was a bomb scare because they were scared it might not go off, then they'd have to keep living and working in West Swindon.

Not guilty, m'lud... Although I think I'll have my Wiggle orders delivered to home rather than the office from now on!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 March, 2013, 08:24:38 pm
Sing Hosanna!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-21667164

A replacement has been found for Wonkey the Donkey.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 05 March, 2013, 10:04:11 pm
That is a relief.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on 11 March, 2013, 11:17:53 am
Slow news day on the outskirts of Swansea (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Tables-stacked-differently-Llwchwr-council/story-18365075-detail/story.html#axzz2NEEKaOxu).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 11 March, 2013, 02:59:18 pm
Slow news day on the outskirts of Swansea (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Tables-stacked-differently-Llwchwr-council/story-18365075-detail/story.html#axzz2NEEKaOxu).

LOL!  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 11 March, 2013, 04:25:39 pm
Thank god someone has finally seen sense in Llwchwr.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 13 March, 2013, 09:55:08 pm
Slow news day on the outskirts of Swansea (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Tables-stacked-differently-Llwchwr-council/story-18365075-detail/story.html#axzz2NEEKaOxu).

Is Llwchwr near Llaregub?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on 13 March, 2013, 10:19:39 pm
Not local to me, but an absolute corker nevertheless

Amazing... (http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/Man-tried-making-love-ambulance-Barnstaple-bus/story-18137026-detail/story.html#axzz2Ku10WhjP)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 13 March, 2013, 10:41:47 pm
Those poor peanuts....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 13 March, 2013, 10:43:28 pm
Not local to me, but an absolute corker nevertheless

Amazing... (http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/Man-tried-making-love-ambulance-Barnstaple-bus/story-18137026-detail/story.html#axzz2Ku10WhjP)

"But he was then spotted on CCTV in a phone box setting light to a packet of peanuts while also punching them."

What did the poor peanuts do to him!?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 13 March, 2013, 10:44:36 pm
Those poor peanuts....

<envisions photo of peanuts looking sad in front of phone box>
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Toady on 15 March, 2013, 10:22:10 pm
Anger as faeces found in Brighton and Hove council opposition office (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10254190.Anger_as_faeces_found_in_Brighton_and_Hove_council_opposition_office/)

Quote
An investigation has been launched as officials try to get to the bottom of who is responsible for the foul play in Kings House, Hove.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 15 March, 2013, 10:25:28 pm
Anger as faeces found in Brighton and Hove council opposition office (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10254190.Anger_as_faeces_found_in_Brighton_and_Hove_council_opposition_office/)

Quote
An investigation has been launched as officials try to get to the bottom of who is responsible for the foul play in Kings House, Hove.

Two councillors, one cup?  :demon: ;D :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: red marley on 15 March, 2013, 10:48:46 pm
Those poor peanuts....

<envisions photo of peanuts looking sad in front of phone box>

http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/post/45285399182/dear-jim-this-happened-recently-in-a-little-town
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 15 March, 2013, 11:11:27 pm
(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/18043-1/IMAG0115.jpg)

(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/18040-2/IMAG0114.jpg)

(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/18037-2/IMAG0111.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 16 March, 2013, 03:13:22 pm
Linked from the council poo story above, another great one with a photo.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/9846650.Poo_found_in_Brighton_council_microwave/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 16 March, 2013, 03:55:37 pm
And then there is the did it/didn't it horse "rescued" from swimming pool story also from clicking links

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10294725.Horse_rescued_from_swimming_pool/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 March, 2013, 01:18:28 pm
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10306221.Finger_licking_BAD__Student_finds_kidney_in_KFC/

That's a chicken kidney, not horse or anything interesting.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 22 March, 2013, 01:31:31 pm
Chicken kidney? Perfectly edible. Makes very good gravy. What's the idiot whining about?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 March, 2013, 01:34:45 pm
Chicken kidney? Perfectly edible. Makes very good gravy. What's the idiot whining about?

Traces of chicken found in a KFC, presumably.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 22 March, 2013, 02:00:38 pm
Randy couple thrown out of Hatfield McDonald’s (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/randy_couple_thrown_out_of_hatfield_mcdonald_s_after_toilet_romp_1_1987368)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 March, 2013, 10:02:24 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-21875431

NFN.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 23 March, 2013, 04:59:34 pm
Fatal Attraction: The Student Years.

(http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8226/8582358059_0e8bf01ea3_c.jpg) (http://www.flickr.com/photos/30024450@N04/8582358059/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 23 March, 2013, 07:00:28 pm
Cornish slurry fetish. (http://www.middevonstar.co.uk/news/8885350.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurry_for_third_time/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 March, 2013, 07:05:49 pm
What, again?  Surely the slurry's a bit cold for that sort of thing...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 23 March, 2013, 07:29:41 pm
Quote
he has masturbated in a muck spreader and set fire to outbuildings

he must really be generating some heat!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 March, 2013, 07:46:50 pm
I imagine that would need quite a lot of tissues.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 23 March, 2013, 07:49:34 pm
Quote
The child came across him naked in a field amongst cow dung and mud.

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 March, 2013, 09:57:52 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-21875431

NFN.
They might not be pretty enough for supermarkets but they look much like the parsnips labelled "dirty parsnips" in the greengrocer's, except less muddy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 24 March, 2013, 08:06:10 am
What, again?  Surely the slurry's a bit cold for that sort of thing...

Slurry tends to have its own heat.  Add the friction (I guess slurry isn't a good lube)...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 March, 2013, 06:43:39 am
Swindon is getting a third lap dancing club.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10312317.Lap_dancing_club_is_given_the_green_light/

I think it's trying to become the Soho of the south-west.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 27 March, 2013, 08:24:25 pm
Today in the local rag: a large egg (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10315866.Giant_egg_a_contender_for_biggest_in_UK/?ref=mmsp) and a (very cute) small lamb (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/ryedale/10315732.Brr__Brr__Black_sheep___Micro_Lamb_attracts_fans_from_aound_the_world/?ref=mr).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 27 March, 2013, 08:54:00 pm
Terrible loss of life in rail disast... Oh, wait. No. As you were....

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10315796.Road_train____derailed____as_it_lets_ambulance_go_by/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 27 March, 2013, 10:38:09 pm
Forecast dismay. (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/10316822.Snow_falling_in_Stroud/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 28 March, 2013, 04:28:04 am
Anger as faeces found in Brighton and Hove council opposition office (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10254190.Anger_as_faeces_found_in_Brighton_and_Hove_council_opposition_office/)

Quote
An investigation has been launched as officials try to get to the bottom of who is responsible for the foul play in Kings House, Hove.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/9846650.Poo_found_in_Brighton_council_microwave/?ref=rl
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 March, 2013, 10:05:04 pm
Forecast dismay. (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/10316822.Snow_falling_in_Stroud/?ref=mr)
The headline doesn't really sell the story.  MET OFFICE SUCK would have done it so much better.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 March, 2013, 12:33:29 am
Didn't stop for a photo, but a sign outside a newsagent in Yapton this morning bore the headline "Man arrested for violence at Butlins"

Attempting to find a reference via google revealed that this isn't an uncommon occurrence:

http://www.bognor.co.uk/news/twelve-arrested-after-bognor-regis-butlins-brawl-1-3223985
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on 30 March, 2013, 09:20:02 am
bognor  ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 March, 2013, 03:52:16 pm
Yeah, well, if it had been Skegness it would have been arson instead.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 30 March, 2013, 06:02:07 pm
We really need a personal hygiene expose from the Skegness Standard, just for the headline SMEGGY SKEGGY.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 30 March, 2013, 06:29:48 pm
We all drowned in a yellow duckmarine (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news//tm_headline=iconic-yellow-duckmarine-sinks-in-liverpool-s-albert-dock%26method=full%26objectid=33090240%26siteid=100252-name_page.html)

Thankfully not, but that must have been scary. 

(http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/liverpoolecho/mar2013/9/1/duckmarine-sinking-in-liverpool-s-albert-dock-pic-roger-o-doherty-379515767.jpg)

Good thing it didn't happen when Brenda & Phil went for a spin last year (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2145240/Your-carriages-await-Maam-Brave-Queen-cruises-Mersey-duck-rides-monorail-Chester-Zoo-Diamond-Jubilee-tour.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 01 April, 2013, 02:54:15 pm
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10325370.Neighbours_of_city_centre_fast_food_outlet_tell_of____frightening____violence__intimidation_and_noise/

A few points I thought of:

McDonalds was there before the flats. If you don't want to live over the road from a fast food outlet, don't move into a flat opposite one...

Quote
she and her teenage son “have been eyewitnesses to the most terrible behaviour imaginable” from McDonald’s customers.

Yeah, they are out there on a nightly basis decapitating each other with machetes and setting each other on fire.

Quote
residents were kept awake by “a constant flow of taxis”

That wouldn't be anything to do with the big taxi rank round the corner would it?  Honestly, how many people come out of McDonalds and call a cab?

I have to admit to some bias. We collect recycling from those flats, and they are a pain in the arse for access - whenever they change the access code, they forget to tell us, take ages to get back to inquiries and then ring up to complain the recycling hasn't been collected.

I'm not always on the side of Big Corps, but in this case, I'm behind McDs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 April, 2013, 03:46:57 pm
We get a 'constant flow of taxis' here.  The drunken students tend to stop off at the 24 hour Tesco at the end of the road and then catch taxis back up the hill.  Which would be fine, except that since both sides of the road are full of cars, taxi drivers tend to just sit in the middle of the road and hoot their horns to announce their presence (and occasionally get into stand-offs with people wanting to go the other way) .  It annoys me far more than the equally noisy drunken shenanigans, because professional drivers ought to be better behaved than a load of rowdy teenagers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 02 April, 2013, 09:00:51 am
As a student I never even considered using a taxi.  Far, far too expensive.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 02 April, 2013, 09:05:16 am
We all drowned in a yellow duckmarine (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news//tm_headline=iconic-yellow-duckmarine-sinks-in-liverpool-s-albert-dock%26method=full%26objectid=33090240%26siteid=100252-name_page.html)

Thankfully not, but that must have been scary. 

(http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/liverpoolecho/mar2013/9/1/duckmarine-sinking-in-liverpool-s-albert-dock-pic-roger-o-doherty-379515767.jpg)

Good thing it didn't happen when Brenda & Phil went for a spin last year (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2145240/Your-carriages-await-Maam-Brave-Queen-cruises-Mersey-duck-rides-monorail-Chester-Zoo-Diamond-Jubilee-tour.html)

I hate those things.  There's several of them in London.  They seem to be driven by psychopaths with no concern for other road users.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Juan Martín on 02 April, 2013, 09:42:30 am
I see DUKWs on the water regularly during my lunchtime runs along the embankment and entering and leaving the river by a slip at Vauxhall Bridge. They appear to have only a few inches of freeboard and be quite under-powered; I have been waiting for something like this to happen on the Thames. I am surprised that they have been granted a licence to operate to be honest; they look distinctly dodgy to me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Dibdib on 02 April, 2013, 09:43:18 am
As a student I never even considered using a taxi.  Far, far too expensive.

Yeah, me neither - and I lived at the top of a bloody great hill*. at ten grand a year, you (or at least mummy and daddy) have got to be loaded to go to uni these days...

* the on-campus housing at Aberystwyth, for those wot know it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 02 April, 2013, 12:36:03 pm
As a student I never even considered using a taxi.  Far, far too expensive.

I think I used a taxi twice as a student.  Once because I was too ill to walk home, and once because I'd just got a fantastic deal on a second-hand workhorse laser printer in the LCS.

I started university in the first academic year group to be hit by tuition fees.  And graduated in the last group who seemed to respect the traditional approach to student finances.  These days they're all in mind-numbing debt, so sharing a taxi after a night on the piss is lost in the noise.  And anyway, you're not supposed to drink and drive.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on 02 April, 2013, 01:29:50 pm
As a student I never even considered using a taxi.  Far, far too expensive.
Whereas in Manchester at the end of the 70s it was cheaper to use a taxi if there were four of you (or two once the night buses started) as long as you stayed within the city boundaries, so we used them quite frequently.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 03 April, 2013, 05:41:48 pm
I see DUKWs on the water regularly during my lunchtime runs along the embankment and entering and leaving the river by a slip at Vauxhall Bridge. They appear to have only a few inches of freeboard and be quite under-powered; I have been waiting for something like this to happen on the Thames. I am surprised that they have been granted a licence to operate to be honest; they look distinctly dodgy to me.

Liverpool DUKW drivers claim unfair dismissal over raising safety issues  (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2013/04/03/exclusive-yellow-duckmarine-drivers-claim-unfair-dismissal-over-safety-fears-100252-33108126/)

Oops...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on 04 April, 2013, 04:46:24 pm
Woman not hurt in dramatic crash

http://www.uxbridgegazette.co.uk/west-london-news/local-uxbridge-news/2013/04/04/driver-unhurt-in-dramatic-ruislip-high-street-crash-113046-33115702/ (http://www.uxbridgegazette.co.uk/west-london-news/local-uxbridge-news/2013/04/04/driver-unhurt-in-dramatic-ruislip-high-street-crash-113046-33115702/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 06 April, 2013, 09:10:01 pm
Mystery of removal of scarves from sheep in Sussex.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-22050711 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-22050711)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 April, 2013, 01:28:28 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-22110776

On first read I missed out the 'a shepherd' and marvelled at the abilities of Gloucestershire's Police force.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 16 April, 2013, 03:01:06 pm
Does Swindon only exist to provide stories for this thread?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-22158829
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: davelodwig on 30 April, 2013, 03:21:37 pm
Self driving cars down south apparently

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10386967.Miracle_escape_for_elderly_couple_after_car_plunges_from_car_park_roof/?ref=rss
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 01 May, 2013, 06:41:39 am
Self driving cars down south apparently

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10386967.Miracle_escape_for_elderly_couple_after_car_plunges_from_car_park_roof/?ref=rss

The worst thing is they'll allow him to keep his license...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on 01 May, 2013, 08:09:05 am
Oi!  Don't lump Bournemouth in with "Down South".  I may be down South, but its a very special case, on account of the average age being about 134.  A bit like Eastbourne really, soemwhere to go to die, as there's not a lot else to do there anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 01 May, 2013, 11:45:56 am
"We don't use Chlorophyll now" (http://www.thisisexeter.co.uk/don-t-use-chlorophyll/story-18799319-detail/story.html#axzz2S2KTiQEV)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 May, 2013, 01:35:42 pm
"We don't use Chlorophyll now" (http://www.thisisexeter.co.uk/don-t-use-chlorophyll/story-18799319-detail/story.html#axzz2S2KTiQEV)

 ::-)   :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 01 May, 2013, 10:11:36 pm
I was put under with Chlorophyll once, I woke up feeling a little green about the gills...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 02 May, 2013, 06:36:08 am
You can buy a BMW with four seats shocker
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 02 May, 2013, 07:13:50 pm
Parkham WI embarrassed by dressing as pirates for talk by former Somali pirate hostage (http://www.thisisnorthdevon.co.uk/Parkham-WI-embarrassed-dressing-pirates-talk/story-18871181-detail/story.html#axzz2S8f4xQXu)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 02 May, 2013, 09:55:50 pm
Saw this story in the Press earlier:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10384950.Six_injured_after_inflatable_slide_blows_over/

A slightly comic incident, but what amused me was the sentence:

Quote
The slide was blown across Ripley Cricket Club, near Harrogate, shortly after 10am yesterday and was later seized by investigators.

I imagine the investigators running across the field after it, before seizing it...

(A similar thing happened at a school fete when I was a kid. The bouncy castle blew over, somewhat startling the ponies being ridden next to it. Several children got their first taste of galloping!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 03 May, 2013, 04:03:21 pm
Firefighters Free Dead Duck (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/firefighters_free_dead_duck_1_2173415)  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Flynn on 03 May, 2013, 06:54:43 pm
Parkham WI embarrassed by dressing as pirates for talk by former Somali pirate hostage (http://www.thisisnorthdevon.co.uk/Parkham-WI-embarrassed-dressing-pirates-talk/story-18871181-detail/story.html#axzz2S8f4xQXu)

That. Is. Priceless!  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 05 May, 2013, 06:07:33 am
Knob tossing & eating (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-22366197).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 07 May, 2013, 03:48:13 pm

"Police hunt Incredible Hulk after McDonald's assault"
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 07 May, 2013, 06:41:29 pm

"Police hunt Incredible Hulk after McDonald's assault"
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/)

Well, I'll keep an eye out, shouldn't be too hard to spot!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 07 May, 2013, 07:05:08 pm
She'd get lost in the crowd in Hull.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 07 May, 2013, 07:40:42 pm

"Police hunt Incredible Hulk after McDonald's assault"
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/)

Well, I'll keep an eye out, shouldn't be too hard to spot!

Looking at the photo, I'd have said Princess Fiona from Shrek, rather than the Hulk.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 07 May, 2013, 07:54:42 pm

"Police hunt Incredible Hulk after McDonald's assault"
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/)

Well, I'll keep an eye out, shouldn't be too hard to spot!

Looking at the photo, I'd have said Princess Fiona from Shrek, rather than the Hulk.

Not sure Fiona wore a ripped shirt...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 07 May, 2013, 08:39:40 pm
I didn't get a photo this morning because I had left my phone on charge, but the Echo's screaming headline was

Quote
KILLER TRIED TO CUT FRIEND'S HEAD OFF
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 09 May, 2013, 03:33:58 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/national/10410218.Milkman_attacked_by__goblin__robber/

Can't have been the quickest getaway...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 10 May, 2013, 01:20:13 pm
Wear Valley panther sightings continue. (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10409998.Panther_mystery_deepens_as_more_black_cats_spotted/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 10 May, 2013, 01:37:15 pm
More hard-hitting news from the Northern Echo:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/darlington/10410655.Man_ordered_to_pay_compensation_after_stealing_lager/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 11 May, 2013, 03:35:52 pm
Baby named after car in which she was born.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-22479134

Classy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 11 May, 2013, 04:28:13 pm
More hard-hitting news from the Northern Echo:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/darlington/10410655.Man_ordered_to_pay_compensation_after_stealing_lager/


"Mike Clark, mitigating, said Thompson had stolen the lager because he could not afford to pay for it."

Have I been misunderstanding the definition of 'mitigating' all these years? 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 13 May, 2013, 07:18:39 am
Baby named after car in which she was born.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-22479134

Classy.

They're from Royston.  'Nuff said....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 May, 2013, 10:49:28 pm
Southend 'Mr Blobby' house painted in revenge wedding prank (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-22611581)

The article helpfully fills in all sorts of Mr Blobby background info, for the benefit of Wowbagger.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 21 May, 2013, 10:58:41 pm
The ever reliable Express & Echo:-
Crews called to ride on lawnmower fire in Cuckoo Down Lane (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Crews-called-ride-lawnmower-Cuckoo-Lane/story-19006111-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 21 May, 2013, 11:02:33 pm
The ever reliable Express & Echo:-
Crews called to ride on lawnmower fire in Cuckoo Down Lane (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Crews-called-ride-lawnmower-Cuckoo-Lane/story-19006111-detail/story.html)

...and...

http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/crews-called-remove-ring-Exeter-woman-8217-s/story-19045730-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 May, 2013, 12:14:57 pm
The ever reliable Express & Echo:-
Crews called to ride on lawnmower fire in Cuckoo Down Lane (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Crews-called-ride-lawnmower-Cuckoo-Lane/story-19006111-detail/story.html)
I wouldn't like to ride on a lawnmower fire but I guess that's how some people get their kicks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 22 May, 2013, 01:41:59 pm
It's a "Milk float crashes into wall, no-one hurt"* kind of story.

*Anyone know where that came from?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 22 May, 2013, 02:44:49 pm
More hard-hitting news from the Northern Echo:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/darlington/10410655.Man_ordered_to_pay_compensation_after_stealing_lager/


"Mike Clark, mitigating, said Thompson had stolen the lager because he could not afford to pay for it."

Have I been misunderstanding the definition of 'mitigating' all these years?
I can't afford to pay for a Lamborghini Aventador. Should I plead this in mitigation, should I ever be caught stealing one? Or would my sentence be increased for taking the piss?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 23 May, 2013, 06:28:20 pm
It's a "Milk float crashes into wall, no-one hurt"* kind of story.

*Anyone know where that came from?

When I was 12 or so, a milk float crashed into the telegraph pole outside our house, at 5 in the morning. I don't know how many of you have ever heard several crates of milk bottles fall off the back of a milk float, but it's quite a noise!  Mum and Dad went out and checked the driver was ok, let him use our phone to ring the dairy, gave him a cuppa while he waited for the back-up float and recovery crew.  He gave them a pint of double cream - an unheard-of quantity of luxury for us then.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 May, 2013, 06:42:02 pm
When I was small enough that free school milk was still a thing, I remember a crate (or more?) being dropped during the delivery and what seemed to be a spectacular milk slick on the playground at break time.  This was as exciting as things got (without actual hospital admission) at that age.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 23 May, 2013, 06:54:58 pm
Probably the messiest thing I ever saw in that vein was when a delivery driver rolled a pallet of 3lt bottles of Robinsons squash out of the lorry onto the tail lift of the lorry delivering to the supermarket I worked at. Sadly, the tail lift was down, not up.

It's very sticky stuff, squash.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 May, 2013, 07:57:45 pm
Michael Jackson tribute act meets sometime MJ bodyguard.  Wow.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10439952.It___s_a_Thriller_to_meet_you/

Quote
“Ben has done a good job at looking like him and the good thing about him is he hasn’t had plastic surgery done"

That's because, unlike the real MJ, Ben was born white  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 23 May, 2013, 08:11:14 pm
It's a "Milk float crashes into wall, no-one hurt"* kind of story.

*Anyone know where that came from?

When I was 12 or so, a milk float crashed into the telegraph pole outside our house, at 5 in the morning. I don't know how many of you have ever heard several crates of milk bottles fall off the back of a milk float, but it's quite a noise!  Mum and Dad went out and checked the driver was ok, let him use our phone to ring the dairy, gave him a cuppa while he waited for the back-up float and recovery crew.  He gave them a pint of double cream - an unheard-of quantity of luxury for us then.

I watched a float reverse into a pile of filled crates in a milk depot. The headline is from 1978, the San Serriffe Daily Telegraph.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 14 June, 2013, 07:28:07 pm
Crediton Country Courier (http://www.creditoncouriernewspaper.co.uk/news.cfm?id=19131&headline=Aim%20for%20Crediton%20to%20become%20%E2%80%98dementia%20friendly%E2%80%99%20town)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 14 June, 2013, 08:51:06 pm
This is actually a potentially exciting story:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10466084.Runaway_van_crashes_next_to_city_centre_pub/

I liked the juxtaposition of statements though:

Exciting!

Quote
He (a witness) said: “They were very, very lucky, I think. A couple of feet to the side, and it could have been a different story.

“It just came out of nowhere. I was typing away and heard people shouting others to get out of the way, quite frantically. It was quite dramatic, because there were quite a lot of people in the way. People were shouting from both sides of the river. The van lifted a couple of feet at the back because it really walloped the bollard.”


and

Not exciting!

Quote
A spokeswoman for North Yorkshire Police confirmed that officers had attended the scene, and said no damage had been done to any property or structures, and that nobody had been injured.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 14 June, 2013, 08:53:26 pm
Oh, and courtesy of someone on Cyclechat who spotted it:

http://www.nottinghampost.com/Couple-return-holiday-grass-street-cut-different/story-19155350-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 15 June, 2013, 06:58:56 pm
I see DUKWs on the water regularly during my lunchtime runs along the embankment and entering and leaving the river by a slip at Vauxhall Bridge. They appear to have only a few inches of freeboard and be quite under-powered; I have been waiting for something like this to happen on the Thames. I am surprised that they have been granted a licence to operate to be honest; they look distinctly dodgy to me.

Liverpool DUKW drivers claim unfair dismissal over raising safety issues  (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2013/04/03/exclusive-yellow-duckmarine-drivers-claim-unfair-dismissal-over-safety-fears-100252-33108126/)

Oops...

And again..... :facepalm:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-22922039 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-22922039)

I think I saw some of these on the Thames last weekend as well.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Littlesox on 16 June, 2013, 05:33:58 am
More hard-hitting news from the Northern Echo:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/darlington/10410655.Man_ordered_to_pay_compensation_after_stealing_lager/


"Mike Clark, mitigating, said Thompson had stolen the lager because he could not afford to pay for it."


Have I been misunderstanding the definition of 'mitigating' all these years?
I can't afford to pay for a Lamborghini Aventador. Should I plead this in mitigation, should I ever be caught stealing one? Or would my sentence be increased for taking the piss?

I'm off to Epic Cycles of Ludlow tomorrow to steal a Bianchi Oltre.

If I get caught, I'll offer the fact that I can't afford to buy it as mitigation.

Unbelievable.

And probably, we were all paying for Mike Clark via the Legal Aid system.

Bah !
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Toady on 18 June, 2013, 04:20:06 pm
It's all happening in Whitby

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10488568.Whitby_councillor_claims_to_have_fathered_alien_child/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 19 June, 2013, 09:56:08 am
(damn, I was just about to post the Whitby councillor/abductee story)

More hard-hitting news from the Northern Echo:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/darlington/10410655.Man_ordered_to_pay_compensation_after_stealing_lager/


"Mike Clark, mitigating, said Thompson had stolen the lager because he could not afford to pay for it."


Have I been misunderstanding the definition of 'mitigating' all these years?
I can't afford to pay for a Lamborghini Aventador. Should I plead this in mitigation, should I ever be caught stealing one? Or would my sentence be increased for taking the piss?

I'm off to Epic Cycles of Ludlow tomorrow to steal a Bianchi Oltre.

If I get caught, I'll offer the fact that I can't afford to buy it as mitigation.

Unbelievable.

And probably, we were all paying for Mike Clark via the Legal Aid system.

Bah !

Well, he has to say something ;D

He has form for this sort of thing:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/southdurham/bishopauckland/10302339.Thief_banned_from_shop_after_stealing_coffee_and_choclate/

Quote
Mike Clarke mitigating said Wilson was waiting for his benefits to re-start after being released from prison and had no money.

He seems to be blessed with particularly unimaginative clients.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: CAMRAMan on 19 June, 2013, 01:34:37 pm
A rather ironic battering... (http://www.warwickcourier.co.uk/news/local/man-knocked-unconscious-after-attack-at-leamington-festival-1-5192102)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on 20 June, 2013, 10:31:26 am
Only in Glastonbury. (http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Man-penis-costume-assaulted-Glastonbury-High/story-19328715-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 20 June, 2013, 12:02:08 pm
Sounds like he was being a bit of a dick.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 June, 2013, 09:55:02 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10502051.Prostitute_fleeced_OAP_of_his___5k_savings/

I'd be proud to feature in a story like that, at his age.  Chapeau!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 June, 2013, 08:12:04 pm
What services were you thinking you'd offer?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on 04 July, 2013, 01:10:47 pm
Kettering man sticks random objects together. (http://www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/top-stories/symbol-designed-to-wish-good-luck-to-andy-murray-1-5241559)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on 04 July, 2013, 10:06:30 pm
Kettering man sticks random objects together. (http://www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/top-stories/symbol-designed-to-wish-good-luck-to-andy-murray-1-5241559)

Poor bugger.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 04 July, 2013, 11:12:41 pm
ICA Wins Teh Internets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 July, 2013, 06:25:24 am
To be fair, there isn't much else to do in Kettering and he can sell it on fleaBay afterwards because it's "been in the news".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 05 July, 2013, 07:21:58 am
Kettering man sticks random objects together. (http://www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/top-stories/symbol-designed-to-wish-good-luck-to-andy-murray-1-5241559)

Poor bugger.
I especially like how he's not particularly a supporter of Andy Murray.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 05 July, 2013, 07:50:11 am
Cow rescued from river:

http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/10527215.Cow_rescued_after_tumbling_100ft_into_river_at_Sedbergh/ (http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/10527215.Cow_rescued_after_tumbling_100ft_into_river_at_Sedbergh/)

With pictures and everything:

(http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/resources/images/2524214.jpg?type=articleLandscape)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Chris S on 08 July, 2013, 10:55:00 pm
Is it just me, or is some lawyer somewhere, being a bit fucking petty?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-23226366
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 08 July, 2013, 11:42:43 pm
Somebody somewhere is being bloody stupid. Doesn't know the difference between good & bad publicity. Cost of leaving it be? Nothing. Cost of making yourself appear a right bastard, & mind-bogglingly petty-minded at the same time? Incalculable, but potentially real.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 09 July, 2013, 05:16:37 am
Next time, paint it in leather with arseless chaps and have a dwarf gorilla carrying a silver salver of cocaine* in front of it.  I bet they didn't copyright that.


*old Queen aftershow party urban legend
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 09 July, 2013, 07:23:20 am
Of course, they could have just asked the estate for permission and, having told them what it was in support of, they'd probably have been given permission.

It seems to me the artist tried to get round the rules (by changing the design on the jacket) and got caught out.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 09 July, 2013, 10:00:47 am
Erm unless I've misread that story, the copyright belongs to a charity and they were objecting to a commercial organisation using it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 09 July, 2013, 10:13:24 am
Erm unless I've misread that story, the copyright belongs to a charity and they were objecting to a commercial organisation using it.

I don't believe that the Freddie Mercury Estate is a charity.

The Freddie Mercury Estate objected to a commercial organisation using copyrighted imagery.  It's clear that the commercial organisation and the artist knew about the copyright issue and tried to get round it.  I think that if permission had been sought in the first place from the Estate, they'd probably have agreed to the imagery being used, given what was going to happen to the statues further down the line.

There are two charities that will benefit from the sale of these in the future.  I think they're being referred to the try and make the Estate out to be the baddies, rather than looking at why a commercial organisation looked to bypss copyright rules in the first place.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 09 July, 2013, 11:14:45 am
A Mum has vowed to defy new rules which could see her daughter banned from playing basketball outside her own home.

http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/angry_welwyn_garden_city_mum_i_won_t_stick_to_new_flag_ban_1_2266182

 :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 09 July, 2013, 04:29:31 pm
Scary crow (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-23206966)  :o

Illustrated with a picture of a rook  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 09 July, 2013, 11:32:52 pm
No photo of the headline but it read "Mass brawl at TOWIE bar".

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/local_news/10520380.Four_injured_in_TOWIE_Bar_Blanco_brawl/?action=complain&cid=11769724
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 10 July, 2013, 10:12:55 am
And (former) colonies . . . .

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/10170744/Australian-DJ-in-royal-prank-sues-employer.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/10170744/Australian-DJ-in-royal-prank-sues-employer.html)

 :facepalm:

Is she heading for a Taylforth moment? Or is she going to get away with "It's all their fault! They didn't stop me!"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 10 July, 2013, 10:22:42 am
That report is incorrect (it is the Telegraph, after all).  Jacintha Saldanha did not reveal any details, but just put the call through to the ward, where the nurse on duty gave out information.  The impersonations by the DJs were pathetically poor, perhaps deliberately so, and they never expected even to get through, let alone have someone discuss personal matters, possibly in breach of the DPA (that's not been tested, but it seems very likely).

Worth noting that the call came through to nursing staff because the hospital didn't employ any admin or managerial staff to work out of hours, and the on-call rota was shaky at best, according to reports.

Worth noting also that the Telegraph is a strident advocate of the privatisation of healthcare.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 10 July, 2013, 11:12:15 am
Blame me for picking the first one off the list which gave the (to me) significant information about the current story, without bothering to read the rest of what it said.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 10 July, 2013, 11:38:52 am
Not at all.  You can't be held responsible for the poor standards of work coming out of SW1 (or wherever they are based).

I agree, however, it's a bit odd that she is suing her employer, though the stress she no doubt suffers is as a result of something which happened in the workplace.  Yes, it was her own actions, but you'd have to know the environment in which she works.  The station is, apparently, known for trying to push the limits, and it is quite possible that there is a lot of pressure on their employees to perform stunts and maybe take it a bit far. 

Hard to say.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 10 July, 2013, 02:04:49 pm
I think she is sueing her employer because her co-dj has been allowed back on the radio but she hasn't.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on 10 July, 2013, 06:31:15 pm
Has she not been allowed back on air by the station or is she still signed off with stress?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 July, 2013, 08:01:36 pm
I know Catford doesn't count as provincial, but I think the hilarious photoshop job makes up for it:

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10534660.Catford_fox_horror_for_man_on_toilet/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 10 July, 2013, 08:11:40 pm
Excellent grrrrrr pose.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 10 July, 2013, 08:24:08 pm
I know Catford doesn't count as provincial, but I think the hilarious photoshop job makes up for it:

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10534660.Catford_fox_horror_for_man_on_toilet/

"It was like a wild animal."

It WAS a wild animal, you twonk!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 10 July, 2013, 09:05:13 pm
Photoshop?  I'm glad you told us, or we might not have spotted it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on 10 July, 2013, 10:01:11 pm
Photoshop? More like Paint if you ask me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 July, 2013, 12:26:37 pm
Could also qualify for motorised moron status, but the reporting style lends itself to this thread...

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10539181._Audi_sandwich__closes_road_in_Swanage/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on 11 July, 2013, 01:29:36 pm
I know Catford doesn't count as provincial, but I think the hilarious photoshop job makes up for it:

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10534660.Catford_fox_horror_for_man_on_toilet/

"It was like a wild animal."

It WAS a wild animal, you twonk!

I must confess I did like the context sensitive adverts fro soft close toilet seats I got with the article.  Very topical...  He may be an idiot, but he's not all bad, he's got a pussy cat.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 July, 2013, 09:23:50 pm
Completely harmless lizard on the loose in Swindon.  Police called.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10539088.Police_hunt_missing_lizard_in_Nythe/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 12 July, 2013, 01:24:31 pm
Dr Who-themed maze, including 300m-long dalek
(http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/resources/images/2537430.jpg?type=articlePortrait)

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10544888.First_images_of_the_new_Doctor_Who_themed_York_Maze/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10544888.First_images_of_the_new_Doctor_Who_themed_York_Maze/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 July, 2013, 06:43:48 pm
That's not a maze, it's a highly sophisticated crop circle. It's time to be worried, very worried.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 25 July, 2013, 09:03:25 pm
Little Eye on...er...The Capital

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-23452815

Importer of Chinese party tat and wife call minicab.  Gosh.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 25 July, 2013, 10:07:22 pm
Gripping.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on 25 July, 2013, 10:37:20 pm
Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaults ex-girlfriend who waved at man dressed as Snickers bar (http://www.irishcentral.com/news/news_from_ireland/Woman-in-sumo-wrestler-suit-assaults-ex-girlfriend-after-waving-at-man-dressed-as-Snickers-bar-97262439.html).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 25 July, 2013, 10:44:31 pm
Nasty rituals on Dartmoor (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-23454912).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on 27 July, 2013, 09:05:16 pm
Sheepdog dies (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-23476324).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 July, 2013, 09:07:56 pm
Point of order: that's a dogsheep - much more interesting (or at least comedy) than a sheepdog.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on 27 July, 2013, 11:39:31 pm
 :facepalm:

I wasn't paying attention, but you're right - more curious.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 29 July, 2013, 05:02:58 pm
Sheepdog dies (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-23476324).

"Mr Roberts said the death last month had left him devastated as Rolo, eight, was like one of the family."

You shag one, just one, and...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 01 August, 2013, 07:57:05 pm
I spotted this in a copy of the York Press from this week:

"Pan Fire Alarm

A pan caught fire when it was left unattended on an oven hub (sic) in Friarage Gardens, Northallerton. The blaze set off a smoke alarm and badly damaged the pan."


Amazed it didn't make the News at Ten....



Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 05 August, 2013, 12:10:49 pm
"Ferret Attacks Man"

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10590803.Ferret_attacks_man_as_he_sleeps_on_sofa/?ref=ar (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10590803.Ferret_attacks_man_as_he_sleeps_on_sofa/?ref=ar)

Quote
...the animal then grabbed and savaged his television remote control.

Obviously a male ferret. Men are always squabbling over who gets the remote.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 05 August, 2013, 10:12:03 pm
Panic on the streets of Penrith:

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/57044735/IMG_2202.JPG)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Dibdib on 11 August, 2013, 09:34:01 am
The latest from Shepton Mallet.

http://usvsth3m.com/post/57952725799/apology-demanded-from-darth-vader-reports-local-paper
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 August, 2013, 06:16:22 pm
Herd of cows from Stockport farm head to housing estate (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-23654993)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 12 August, 2013, 08:17:34 am
Herd of cows from Stockport farm head to housing estate (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-23654993)

The fact they came from Bongs Farm might explain a few things...  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 12 August, 2013, 12:34:57 pm
Council to look at a toilet brown sign scheme (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-23662922)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 12 August, 2013, 01:48:08 pm
Chocolate bar has similar number of calories to comparable chocolate bars. (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10604750.Calorie_concerns_over_Wonka_bars/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 14 August, 2013, 12:25:29 pm
http://www.thisissomerset.co.uk/Janet-James-cyclists/story-19654215-detail/story.html#axzz2bwQXRbQk
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 14 August, 2013, 09:48:09 pm
What an ignorant, ill-informed person.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: red marley on 15 August, 2013, 11:46:09 am
http://www.thisissomerset.co.uk/Janet-James-cyclists/story-19654215-detail/story.html#axzz2bwQXRbQk

That's great. It's like someone has turned the internet upside down. The article consists of a hodgepodge of ill-informed badly argued spluttering rants, and the responses are carefully reasoned, polite and interesting reads.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 15 August, 2013, 12:04:39 pm
Never thought we'd end up on the front page!

Cyclists' joy over bike route to city centre (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/local-news/middleton-cyclists-joy-over-bike-5719971)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 15 August, 2013, 12:18:00 pm
Looks like you have the title and URL the wrong way round torslanda.

I see you got quoted though :thumbsup:
Cyclists' joy over bike route to city centre (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/local-news/middleton-cyclists-joy-over-bike-5719971)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 15 August, 2013, 12:20:47 pm
Too much Radio 2 wine . . .

Sorted. I slump corrected.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 16 August, 2013, 11:31:40 am
In the Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser: Unremarkable men walk 40 miles for no particular reason (http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#ixzz2c7FeMTcz?1588245343&redirected=true)

via everybody on Twitter.

"Bunch of Leatherheads go Dorking", if you prefer.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 August, 2013, 11:49:23 am
In the Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser: Unremarkable men walk 40 miles for no particular reason (http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#ixzz2c7FeMTcz?1588245343&redirected=true)

via everybody on Twitter.

"Bunch of Leatherheads go Dorking", if you prefer.
That's wonderful!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 16 August, 2013, 01:15:59 pm
In the Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser: Unremarkable men walk 40 miles for no particular reason (http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#ixzz2c7FeMTcz?1588245343&redirected=true)

via everybody on Twitter.

"Bunch of Leatherheads go Dorking", if you prefer.

 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on 17 August, 2013, 01:05:42 pm
Men find a bone! (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2013/08/17/bone-found-by-builders-at-bishops-castle-town-hall/)

Not even human FFS
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 17 August, 2013, 09:30:43 pm
Men find a bone! (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2013/08/17/bone-found-by-builders-at-bishops-castle-town-hall/)

Not even human FFS

I wish they'd got some more photos from different angles, I might be able to ID it...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Littlesox on 18 August, 2013, 09:12:20 am
In the Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser: Unremarkable men walk 40 miles for no particular reason (http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#ixzz2c7FeMTcz?1588245343&redirected=true)

via everybody on Twitter.

"Bunch of Leatherheads go Dorking", if you prefer.
That's wonderful!

I like the line "group of accountants, surveyors, that sort of thing"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 August, 2013, 12:29:30 pm
Free doughnuts for fat middle aged men! (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10616868.Sweet_delights_help_firm_power_through/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on 20 August, 2013, 09:01:23 am
Quote
Bearing such solid British names as Chris, Ian and Simon, the "50-ish" Dorking residents picked a random Saturday and a meaningless route and walked 40 miles just because they could. Ian Giles, spokesman for the group of "accountants, surveyors, that sort of thing", explained: "we thought we should do something for no particular reason.

Truly in the spirit of YACF - perhaps they'd like to join ?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 22 August, 2013, 11:25:55 am
Nasty rituals on Dartmoor (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-23454912).

...are not in fact nasty rituals. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-23779265)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 22 August, 2013, 12:39:23 pm
In a similar vein

Ram torched in sick arson attack (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/ram_torched_to_death_in_sick_arson_attack_near_welwyn_garden_city_1_2330746)...

...may not, in fact, have been torched (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/mystery_over_what_killed_torched_ram_police_now_say_1_2332957)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 22 August, 2013, 01:15:55 pm
http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/legged-man-accused-benefit-fraud-officials/story-19682497-detail/story.html#axzz2cWX934m0
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 August, 2013, 04:13:02 pm
Meanwhile, in Wiltshire:

https://twitter.com/BBCWiltshire/status/370509105867141120
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 August, 2013, 09:15:19 pm
A whole grill pan was razed to the ground in Swindon (but the fire was out by the time the fire brigade arrived)

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10629912.Fire_crews_called_to_Croft_Road/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on 24 August, 2013, 11:15:05 pm
A Carmarthern man shouted “nah, nah, nah, nah” while shaking his bottom at police officers before being arrested a court has heard. (http://www.carmarthenjournal.co.uk/Carmarthen-man-arrested-shaking-incident/story-19701654-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 26 August, 2013, 12:22:26 pm
http://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/glasgow-man-says-edinburgh-ketchup-charge-racist-1-3062264

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 August, 2013, 10:41:06 pm
Does that mean I have a disability discrimination case against northern chippies with brown sauce in ketchup-shaped bottles?   :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 26 August, 2013, 11:47:15 pm
Weather always brings out the best in people.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-23831558

Quote from: Complete airhead of an Essex 4*4 driver
My 4x4 is like a monster truck, stands about 7ft (2.2m) high and is fitted with a snorkel exhaust. We'd already driven through some flooding, but as I went into this I thought 'It's deep' so put the car into reverse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 27 August, 2013, 08:09:18 am
Does that mean I have a disability discrimination case against northern chippies with brown sauce in ketchup-shaped bottles?   :hand:
You've got more of a case than he has!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 30 August, 2013, 07:52:34 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-23892142

Wind blows some hay about.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 30 August, 2013, 09:52:09 am
Is it cheating to offer the headline from the Middle Park & Sutcliffe In Touch, our local ward Tory newsletter?

Quote
CONSERVATIVES: TESCO QUEUE IS DANGEROUS
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 30 August, 2013, 12:38:27 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10639859.Grass_cutting_is_council_job_____according_to_lease___/

Grass not cut for TWO MONTHS.  Children "may be injured".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 30 August, 2013, 01:17:22 pm
Not sure whether its Yorks or Warwks, but this is pretty gripping stuff.

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BS6j5EEIYAAEpkY.jpg)

Please God someone comes forward in time  :'(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 30 August, 2013, 06:31:14 pm
Northallerton hits the headlines.

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10645994.Northallerton_glasses_wearer_in_running_for_award/?ref=la
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 30 August, 2013, 06:34:02 pm
Man mistakes street for car park, threatens to sue.

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10633475.Legal_action_threatened_over_parking_ticket_confusion/?ref=mc
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 30 August, 2013, 09:14:10 pm
Northallerton hits the headlines.

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10645994.Northallerton_glasses_wearer_in_running_for_award/?ref=la
Little four-eyes of the provinces.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 31 August, 2013, 11:12:30 pm
In a similar vein

Ram torched in sick arson attack (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/ram_torched_to_death_in_sick_arson_attack_near_welwyn_garden_city_1_2330746)...

...may not, in fact, have been torched (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/mystery_over_what_killed_torched_ram_police_now_say_1_2332957)

Check out the picture caption:

Quote
A ram (not involved in the attack)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on 01 September, 2013, 01:30:28 pm
Cow grazing on common. (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/10636382.Stunned_commuter_spots_pantomime_cow_grazing_on_the_common/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 September, 2013, 03:01:03 pm
Cow grazing on common. (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/10636382.Stunned_commuter_spots_pantomime_cow_grazing_on_the_common/)
Jaded could have been the head, but the arse end must have been Flatus.  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 02 September, 2013, 01:30:50 am
Make a mess of my mattress boyo and I'll tan your hide (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-23807617)

I blame Robbie Savage.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 02 September, 2013, 01:04:00 pm
Gareth Bale not buying property in Cuffley (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/gareth_bale_is_certain_to_leave_spurs_for_real_madrid_says_village_sighting_fan_1_2357413) and

Bakery which was closed is to open again (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/refurbished_bakers_set_to_reopen_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_2361945)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 02 September, 2013, 03:15:57 pm
Dark reality when the sun sets... (http://www.westernmorningnews.co.uk/sun-sets-dark-reality-badger-culling-emerges/story-19738531-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 September, 2013, 01:21:13 pm
'Semi-erect' OAP caught shampooing his genitals on a bus claims he's 'no hardened criminal' (http://www.mkweb.co.uk/News/Man-74-shampoos-genitals-on-Bedford-bus-after-having-issues-with-his-briefs-20130903121453.htm)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on 04 September, 2013, 09:34:04 pm
'Semi-erect' OAP caught shampooing his genitals on a bus claims he's 'no hardened criminal' (http://www.mkweb.co.uk/News/Man-74-shampoos-genitals-on-Bedford-bus-after-having-issues-with-his-briefs-20130903121453.htm)

Only semi-hardened then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 05 September, 2013, 11:01:44 pm
Steal eye spin. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-23970021)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 September, 2013, 06:42:43 am
Little Eye on the 49th State.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-23971537
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 06 September, 2013, 08:53:59 am
Steady on!  Surely the Mayor getting savaged by a dog is important news.  I can't imagine how I would feel if it happened to Boris Johnson.

Oh.  Hold on.  I think I can. ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 September, 2013, 10:57:34 am
But what if it happened to the Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche!!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 06 September, 2013, 02:18:56 pm
There are bears.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 September, 2013, 03:36:51 pm
With shovels.

(Do the bears in Surrey have shovels too?)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 09 September, 2013, 05:27:10 pm
Dog gets stuck in tree (http://www.gazetteseries.co.uk/news/10662809.Dog_gets_stuck_in_tree/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on 12 September, 2013, 04:10:50 pm
Villagers of Sonning-on-Thames, including Uri Geller, have been left puzzled as to how people could post letters or collect them from the box which is impossible to reach on foot and liable to flooding.
(http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02667/POSTBOX_2667192b.jpg)


..... Now I know what it's all about !

- it was heralding the Post Office flotation !
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 12 September, 2013, 05:27:51 pm
Apparently not a real post box, which is a pity (I quite like the idea of a post box for boaters and barge dwellers).

And I think that Uri Geller is in a permanent state of puzzlement... he clearly has no grasp on the real world.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 12 September, 2013, 05:37:03 pm
Apparently not a real post box, which is a pity (I quite like the idea of a post box for boaters and barge dwellers).

And I think that Uri Geller is in a permanent state of puzzlement... he clearly has no grasp on the real world.

I've heard he has an over-enthusiastic grasp of cutlery.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 September, 2013, 06:48:40 pm
Not doing Wiltshire's image as the Lousiana of England much good.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-24066227
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 12 September, 2013, 06:58:14 pm
Life hasn't been good since the end of the Mary Whitehouse Experience.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 September, 2013, 07:02:28 pm
Lawnmower runs over some bits of paper.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10669194.Outcry_over_council__littering_/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 September, 2013, 08:11:21 pm
Life hasn't been good since the end of the Mary Whitehouse Experience.

Oh no!  What a personal disaster!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 September, 2013, 02:34:18 pm
Swindon comes top again...for football match pie prices in whichever minor league they currently reside.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10673788.Town___s_pies_the_most_expensive_in_league/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 15 September, 2013, 12:59:41 pm
http://www.northampton-news-hp.co.uk/News/Northampton-News/Spooky-clown-mystery-grips-Northampton-14092013.htm
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on 15 September, 2013, 04:08:15 pm
Damn, I was just about to post that!

That's a great story actually, you can't beat a scary clown.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on 15 September, 2013, 04:39:40 pm
Man bites cock. (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/east_kent_mercury/news/man-bites-into-neighbours-penis-5997/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 15 September, 2013, 11:53:02 pm
Man bites cock. (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/east_kent_mercury/news/man-bites-into-neighbours-penis-5997/)

That's gnawful.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Morrisette on 18 September, 2013, 09:39:58 am
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on 18 September, 2013, 11:34:50 am
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

So that's what Wobbly John has been up to this week :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 September, 2013, 03:09:09 pm
Doorbell broken in Swindon.  Think of the children pensioners.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10688077.Broken_doorbell_puts_us_at_risk__says_OAP/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 22 September, 2013, 09:12:28 pm
http://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/edinburgh-sauna-owners-name-and-shame-threat-1-3105302
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 23 September, 2013, 10:43:47 am
Alien life discovered just outside Chester

http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/news/chester-cheshire-news/alien-life-discovered-just-outside-6066606 (http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/news/chester-cheshire-news/alien-life-discovered-just-outside-6066606)

Actually 27 km into space so 'just outside' everywhere really
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 25 September, 2013, 02:04:40 pm
Woman falls over (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/emergency_crews_scrambled_as_oap_hurt_at_bus_station_1_2808362), delays traffic.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 25 September, 2013, 05:01:09 pm
Police look for driver after massacre of ducks (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10692993.Police_hunt_duck_killer_driver/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 25 September, 2013, 06:19:14 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

It's all happening down in Cambridgeshire....

Bondage fear at Trumpington Village Hall sparks event cancellation (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-24240287)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 26 September, 2013, 07:46:50 am
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

It's all happening down in Cambridgeshire....

Bondage fear at Trumpington Village Hall sparks event cancellation (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-24240287)

Damn!  That's my plans for the 12 October borked then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 October, 2013, 01:25:14 pm
http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_express/news/wallaby-stops-traffic-in-pluckley-6744/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 October, 2013, 11:34:00 pm
He knew his onions (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/former-international-hockey-player-stole-450-of-groceries-from-sainsburys-by-selfscanning-everything-as-loose-onions-8850717.html)
Ok, maybe not so provincial, but the essential information is missing - did he swipe his Nectar card?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 01 October, 2013, 11:52:17 pm
Quote
Mr Long’s solicitor Angus Mathieson told the Old Bailey: “It was a stupid thing he has done. He was not getting a stupid amount, not substituting champagne or anything like that, but just getting an avocado and claiming it was an onion.”

To hell with cake - let then eat avocados!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 October, 2013, 02:24:33 pm
Avocados are essential. (http://www.waitrose.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductView-10317-10001-50327-essential+Waitrose+baby+avocado+(4s).html?storeId=10317)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 04 October, 2013, 07:08:57 am
Not a lot of detail here (http://www.wiltsglosstandard.co.uk/news/10703564.Crash_on_A419_road_near_Cirencester/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tubbycyclist on 04 October, 2013, 10:28:19 am
Puntastic


http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Branston-pickle-lorry-crashes-near-Cheddar/story-19882485-detail/story.html (http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Branston-pickle-lorry-crashes-near-Cheddar/story-19882485-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 October, 2013, 01:42:04 pm
ITV couldn't even be bothered to get a photograph:

http://www.itv.com/news/update/2013-10-03/branston-pickle-disaster-hits-cheddar/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 05 October, 2013, 07:32:24 pm
Highland man wins porridge competition:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-24414935
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 06 October, 2013, 08:29:32 am
Quote
Mr Boa, who formerly lived in Edinburgh but now lives on Skye, said the trick to producing a world-class porridge was to "keep stirring", using a spurtle - a rod-shaped tool, traditionally used to stir porridge.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 06 October, 2013, 09:33:03 pm
Oh no.  How will I know what I'm stuffing into my face?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24401249

Quote
Nestle has won a court battle with confectionery rival Cadbury, over Cadbury's attempt to trademark the purple colour of its Dairy Milk bars.

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 06 October, 2013, 09:42:16 pm

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?

Don't bother.  I've already been corrected by Mrs. B.
To tell the truth, it's quite a shock.  They've been blue all my life.
What the hell is the name of the colour that I call purple, then?  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 October, 2013, 09:52:30 pm
Oh no.  How will I know what I'm stuffing into my face?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24401249

Quote
Nestle has won a court battle with confectionery rival Cadbury, over Cadbury's attempt to trademark the purple colour of its Dairy Milk bars.

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?

Yeah, it's one of the blues that's actually purple.  I have the same problem.

Thing about having dodgy colour perception, when an object's colour is completely arbitrary[1] you won't think to question what you're seeing unless it comes up in conversation.


(The pedant in me wants to point out that Dairy Milk bars are in fact brown.)


[1] The corollary to that is where things have well-known colours which you'll override your common sense for, such as banananas[2] (which I recently discovered are green[3] when unripe).
[2] AIUI, the proper colour change of a ripe banana takes place in the UV spectrum, and us humans are just winging it.
[3] Actual green, not the green that I see yellow bananas as and generally call 'yellow'.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 October, 2013, 09:55:32 pm
What the hell is the name of the colour that I call purple, then?  ???

Can't speak for your colour vision, but the colours that I identify as purple are a subset of purples at the redder end of the spectrum - those at the bluer end just get lumped in with the blues.  That's usually how these things work.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 06 October, 2013, 10:03:21 pm
Thing about having dodgy colour perception, when an object's colour is completely arbitrary you won't think to question what you're seeing unless it comes up in conversation.

Well isn't that the truth?  We've been married for 30 years, both of us were surprised.  Good to know that in all that time we've never struggled so much for a topic of conversation as to descend to a discussion on the colour of chocolate wrappers.  :smug:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 06 October, 2013, 10:17:17 pm
Welcome to my world.

Everything I have always considered to be black is now an obscure shade of blue. Fluorescent cycling jackets which have always been green are now, apparently, yellow (and that isn't the orange ones). Purples, mauves and puces could be any bloody thing. Domestic harmony is now disturbed by any colour that the others deem is anything other than it appears to be.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 October, 2013, 10:24:01 pm
I maintain that puce isn't a real colour.  Mauve is on shaky ground.  And I don't really believe in cyan, though I can prove it exists mathematically.

Black vs dark blue is my specialist subject though.  All about the contrast, innit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 October, 2013, 10:28:10 pm
Thing about having dodgy colour perception, when an object's colour is completely arbitrary you won't think to question what you're seeing unless it comes up in conversation.

Well isn't that the truth?  We've been married for 30 years, both of us were surprised.  Good to know that in all that time we've never struggled so much for a topic of conversation as to descend to a discussion on the colour of chocolate wrappers.  :smug:

Quite.

If you were identifying a bucket, chopping board or screwdriver handle, you'd probably have had the conversation[1] decades ago.  Indeed, if Cadbury used blue and purple wrappers to signify the presence of fruity nutty evil lurking within the perfectly good chocolate you might be in with a chance.  But Dairy Milk wrappers are just "Dairy Milk wrappers".  Not "the purple ones".


[1] "Have you seen the blue screwdriver?" "What blue screwdriver?" "The one that lives in the kitchen drawer!" "We don't *have* a blue screwdriver???" "Yes we do, I was using it the other day to fettle my widgets(!)" [...] "Found it!" "Found what?" "The blue screwdriver" *waves triumphantly* "That's purple!" "Bloody isn't!" etc.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 October, 2013, 10:30:45 pm
But what about The Purple Ones in a boks of Kwolitea Streight?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 October, 2013, 10:33:38 pm
But what about The Purple Ones in a boks of Kwolitea Streight?

Both shades of blue are evil nut-based things and to be avoided.  Simples.

Actually, my approach to boxes of chocolate is to check the key for the minority that I'm likely to actually like, and go looking specifically for those, so it probably never came up.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 06 October, 2013, 10:52:21 pm
...We've been married for 30 years, both of us were surprised...

Surely there must have been some clues in that time?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 06 October, 2013, 10:52:57 pm
But what about The Purple Ones in a boks of Kwolitea Streight?

Now that is purple. (to me)

Good, I was worried that that colour was going to turn out to be, erm, tope?
(Please don't try to explain tope to me.  People have tried.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 06 October, 2013, 10:57:56 pm
...We've been married for 30 years, both of us were surprised...

Surely there must have been some clues in that time?
;D

She thought I was the gardener.

I thought she was my rather over zealous probation officer.

 ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 06 October, 2013, 11:04:50 pm
Cadbury's are definitely purple - apparently Pantone 2685c*. They've even gone to court over it:-
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24401249

*Just to be more confusing the BBC article refers incorrectly to 2865c, which doesn't exist in the pantone range, but 286 and 287 which it would fall between are both blues.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 October, 2013, 11:34:15 pm
So there are blue ones in Quality St as well? I'd forgotten. I'm going to have to buy a box to find out, aren't I? Or maybe wait till Christmas, someone's bound to have a box then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 07 October, 2013, 07:57:33 am
But what about The Purple Ones in a boks of Kwolitea Streight?

Now that is purple. (to me)

Good, I was worried that that colour was going to turn out to be, erm, tope?
(Please don't try to explain tope to me.  People have tried.)
It's taupe, and it's what wankers call pale beige.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: red marley on 07 October, 2013, 08:03:38 am
One of the effects of "red-green colour blindness" (deuteranomaly - reduced function in detection of green wavelengths) is the mixing up of blues and purples.  This affects about 6% of white men, so you are not alone.

I did not read this in the Trowbridge Gazette.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 07 October, 2013, 11:30:40 am
Time for an xkcd....

http://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 October, 2013, 02:30:02 pm
One of the effects of "red-green colour blindness" (deuteranomaly - reduced function in detection of green wavelengths) is the mixing up of blues and purples.  This affects about 6% of white men, so you are not alone.

I did not read this in the Trowbridge Gazette.

Surely it's protanomaly (the other, less common, "red-green colour blindness") that leads to blue-purple confusion?  You don't need a green receptor to discriminate colours made up of blue and red.


(I'm one of the 0.01% of protanomalous females)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: red marley on 07 October, 2013, 04:48:04 pm
I think it applies to both, but may be wrong about this.

http://www.colourblindawareness.org/colour-blindness/types-of-colour-blindness/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 07 October, 2013, 06:56:56 pm
Oh no.  How will I know what I'm stuffing into my face?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24401249

Quote
Nestle has won a court battle with confectionery rival Cadbury, over Cadbury's attempt to trademark the purple colour of its Dairy Milk bars.

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?
They're purple.  Milka bars are lilac.

The acid test of colour perception is Jaguar's Black Amethyst Metallic, which looks black...but then you look again and there is a definite tinge to it.  Weird colour.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 October, 2013, 07:04:54 pm
The acid test of colour perception is Jaguar's Black Amethyst Metallic, which looks black...but then you look again and there is a definite tinge to it.  Weird colour.

Assuming 'amethyst' means something bluey-green, I'd probably be really good at that[1].  On the other hand, red wine all looks black to me (deutaneropes don't get this effect).


[1] In daylight, up close and personal.  Like most people with colour perception issues, I'm rubbish at identifying colours of anything small.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 08 October, 2013, 02:15:55 am
Mucky goings on in Aberdeen (http://i.imgur.com/caEpBHW.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 October, 2013, 06:30:41 am
Mucky goings on in Aberdeen (http://i.imgur.com/caEpBHW.jpg)
That's not real, Shirley?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on 08 October, 2013, 09:42:40 am
Mucky goings on in Aberdeen (http://i.imgur.com/caEpBHW.jpg)
That's not real, Shirley?

Well it's in the Sunday Sport, so it must be true ...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 08 October, 2013, 09:43:40 am
The acid test of colour perception is Jaguar's Black Amethyst Metallic, which looks black...but then you look again and there is a definite tinge to it.  Weird colour.

Assuming 'amethyst' means something bluey-green, I'd probably be really good at that[1]

amethysts are purple
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 08 October, 2013, 09:57:24 am
Mucky goings on in Aberdeen (http://i.imgur.com/caEpBHW.jpg)
That's not real, Shirley?

You mean I've been hoodwinked  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 08 October, 2013, 10:14:33 pm
The acid test of colour perception is Jaguar's Black Amethyst Metallic, which looks black...but then you look again and there is a definite tinge to it.  Weird colour.

Assuming 'amethyst' means something bluey-green, I'd probably be really good at that[1]

amethysts are purple
Usually.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 09 October, 2013, 08:17:23 am
The acid test of colour perception is Jaguar's Black Amethyst Metallic, which looks black...but then you look again and there is a definite tinge to it.  Weird colour.

Assuming 'amethyst' means something bluey-green, I'd probably be really good at that[1]

amethysts are purple
Usually.

Indeed.  They can range from pink to dark  blue.

My father was a qualified gemmologist (albeit it gemmology was his hobby) and I have a collection of rings he made me with unusual stones - including a blue amethyst and a green tiger's eye.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 October, 2013, 10:03:30 pm
I think there's difference between colour names you'd use and those you'd understand. Well, for me anyway. I don't think I'd describe something as lilac, violet, fuchsia or even fucksie, it'd all be shades of purple, but the names mean something to me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 October, 2013, 09:27:36 pm
Swindon is world class (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10731967.Magic_Roundabout_gets_global_rating/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 October, 2013, 10:08:30 pm
How can you be president of the Roundabout Appreciation Society without changing your name to Zebedee or Ermintrude?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 11 October, 2013, 11:51:21 pm
When I click on a link to the Swindon Advertiser it offers me the option of signing up for news updates by email... I wouldn't be able to stand the excitement.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 12 October, 2013, 11:12:18 am
How can you be president of the Roundabout Appreciation Society without changing your name to Zebedee or Ermintrude?

He's a Kevin, I expected a Brian.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 October, 2013, 08:19:04 pm
Funniest.  Mugging. Ever. (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10740015.Would_be_muggers_chose_cage_fighter_as_victim/?ref=ar)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 October, 2013, 08:29:25 pm
Funniest.  Mugging. Ever. (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10740015.Would_be_muggers_chose_cage_fighter_as_victim/?ref=ar)

Needs more crossdressing welsh people.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rower40 on 18 October, 2013, 06:53:12 am
Sorry for the late response to all the discussions of colour, but this seems relevant:


This appears to be a real news story (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Llwchwr-Town-Council-considers-colour-photocopier/story-19896596-detail/story.html#axzz2i391lGV1)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 18 October, 2013, 08:50:00 am
Keep us posted on any developments
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 18 October, 2013, 03:41:50 pm
Runner Rich Vanson to take part in Yorkshire Marathon on the same day his pregnant wife Emma is due to be induced
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10744915.Runner_to_take_part_in_Yorkshire_Marathon_on_the_same_day_his_pregnant_wife_is_due_to_be_induced/?ref=mr (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10744915.Runner_to_take_part_in_Yorkshire_Marathon_on_the_same_day_his_pregnant_wife_is_due_to_be_induced/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 October, 2013, 05:16:29 pm
That's a Real Man for you.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 18 October, 2013, 06:02:07 pm
Sorry for the late response to all the discussions of colour, but this seems relevant:


This appears to be a real news story (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Llwchwr-Town-Council-considers-colour-photocopier/story-19896596-detail/story.html#axzz2i391lGV1)

Llwchwr is clearly an exciting place to live (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Tables-stacked-differently-Llwchwr-council/story-18365075-detail/story.html#axzz2i5sQeTYG)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 18 October, 2013, 06:20:46 pm
Sorry for the late response to all the discussions of colour, but this seems relevant:


This appears to be a real news story (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Llwchwr-Town-Council-considers-colour-photocopier/story-19896596-detail/story.html#axzz2i391lGV1)

Llwchwr is clearly an exciting place to live (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Tables-stacked-differently-Llwchwr-council/story-18365075-detail/story.html#axzz2i5sQeTYG)

Bzzt! Repetition!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 19 October, 2013, 06:07:10 am
One story is about a copier...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 20 October, 2013, 12:24:27 pm
This may be a repeat

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/ziggycat/null_zpse184519e.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on 22 October, 2013, 06:28:38 pm
Story useless without pics video. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-24623976)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 October, 2013, 06:59:52 pm
Story useless without pics video. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-24623976)
The ones at Oxford are glass, which would appeal to the hardened doggers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 October, 2013, 08:42:35 pm
Story useless without pics video. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-24623976)
The ones at Oxford are glass, which would appeal to the hardened doggers.

Whereas the ones at Ashford take ages to come...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 22 October, 2013, 11:29:34 pm
We all have our ups and downs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 October, 2013, 04:48:31 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-24637628

Quote
"Police are appealing for information, especially about anyone trying to sell large quantities of Heinz baked beans in suspicious circumstances," a force spokesman said.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 October, 2013, 05:18:35 pm
They'll soon sniff him out.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 25 October, 2013, 06:44:46 pm
"Several police at scene of kebab van incident"

[nr sleepy Burford,Oxon.]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 25 October, 2013, 08:07:42 pm
"Several police at scene of kebab van incident"

[nr sleepy Burford,Oxon.]
Presumably very drunk policemen, who can only blurt out the words "kebab" and "everyfink" when being served.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on 28 October, 2013, 10:38:58 pm
I think Ayrshire (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-24714608) deserves an hon. mention today.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 31 October, 2013, 06:46:02 pm
This had us giggling at work:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10768369.Yellow_brick_road_leaves_York_pedestrians_baffled/

I especially like the quote from the elderly lady who said she hadn't noticed until someone pointed it out. Classic hot news!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 31 October, 2013, 10:37:13 pm
Blimey, get me back to Birmingham.  It's too bloody dangerous down here. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-24763013)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 31 October, 2013, 10:41:29 pm
From the links at the bottom of Arch's story
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10770050.Woman_taken_to_hospital_as_pet_snakes_die_in_house_blaze/?ref=ar
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 31 October, 2013, 10:44:53 pm
Whereas here we are now frightened of doormats
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/health-and-safety-risk-of-doormats-1.1095147
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 01 November, 2013, 10:52:56 am
Wild parties, eh?

Or is that the wrong sort of stag?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 01 November, 2013, 03:20:29 pm
The dove from above (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-24759652)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 02 November, 2013, 12:01:12 pm
They're here! (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/quick_flitting_critter_snapped_by_kwik_fit_fitter_false_widow_spider_spied_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_2948787) (Kudos for the headline)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on 02 November, 2013, 04:23:36 pm
http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/angus-the-mearns/man-fined-after-penis-flash-dance-buffoonery-outside-pie-bob-s-1.147146
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 05 November, 2013, 10:34:41 pm
Blimey, get me back to Birmingham.  It's too bloody dangerous down here. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-24763013)

Blimey, he's died. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-24824121)

Actually, it turns out that this was a sheep farmer who had decided to diversify into venison.

So not a wild random attack as suggested by previous reports.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on 05 November, 2013, 10:54:32 pm
Slow news - and traffic - day in York (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10786562.Traffic_alert__A64_blocked_due_to_mattress_on_the_road/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 08 November, 2013, 03:34:00 pm
The police discover they shouldn't sext school kids.

http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/10797126.Police_discuss_perils_of_sexting_with_schoolchildren_in_Stroud/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 09 November, 2013, 01:42:58 am
A group of people dressed as Batman, Robin, David Hasselhoff and a Smurf helped police officers catch a criminal in an East Lothian supermarket.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-24854508
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 November, 2013, 10:41:11 am
These superheroes, leaving their scuffle marks in the toilet roll!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 November, 2013, 09:08:12 pm
Swindon's big Xmas lights switch-on features local boy Jahmene Douglas (X Factor runner up)...same as last year.

But...on the big screen there will be a special video appearance by...





KEITH CHEGWIN

I can hardly contain my excitement.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 13 November, 2013, 10:26:46 am
Will he have his clothes on?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: urban_biker on 13 November, 2013, 10:31:28 am
LEE, Chillmoister, Keeks and I met Keith Chegwin in the Jack Russell in Faccombe, at the end of the Faccombe Haul a few years back.

I can confirm he was wearing clothes at that time. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on 13 November, 2013, 03:25:08 pm
Tea towel fire (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/inbrief/10804952.Tea_towel_catches_fire/?ref=la). No one hurt.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 13 November, 2013, 03:31:45 pm
That is terrifying.  If the owner hadn't put it out before the two fire crews arrived, who know how big a conflagration might have ensued?  Even the oven gloves* might have been singed.




* possibly Joy Division - we can't say at this point in time
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 13 November, 2013, 09:00:23 pm
I really, really want to know more about this:

http://metro.co.uk/2013/11/12/premier-inn-guest-hurled-racist-abuse-with-fire-extinguisher-hose-up-his-bottom-4184507/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 November, 2013, 09:13:11 pm
Borat?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 November, 2013, 10:51:20 pm
Tea towel fire (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/inbrief/10804952.Tea_towel_catches_fire/?ref=la). No one hurt.

So good a story they have covered it up.  >:(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 November, 2013, 10:52:11 pm
LEE, Chillmoister, Keeks and I met Keith Chegwin in the Jack Russell in Faccombe, at the end of the Faccombe Haul a few years back.

I can confirm he was wearing clothes at that time.

I hope he was wearing his wicket keeping gloves at the time.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 November, 2013, 07:02:54 pm
Keith Chegwin naked; the perfect antidote to that Robin Thicke video.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 17 November, 2013, 09:14:29 pm
Lets not overlook the colonial provinces:

http://tinyurl.com/qfvqjey

Is it just me or does anyone else think that to be a 'bicyclist' you should, as a gentleman, be wearing a top hat, and as a lady, billowing skirts and a bonnet?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 18 November, 2013, 01:10:33 pm
Oh no. Definitely a boater.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/36/Cyclists_In_Thames_New_Zealand_Ca_1895.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 19 November, 2013, 08:28:19 am
Sidcup mum gets hump after mistakenly buying Camel Balls for her kids (http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/10810488.Sidcup_mum_gets_hump_after_mistakenly_buying_Camel_Balls_for_her_kids/?ref=ar)

"I was shocked when I discovered it said Camel Balls – I thought it said Caramel Balls, she said. "They are children, why do they need to look at a camel with a big pair of balls? "

"I just can’t understand how they got to where they are. Don’t they have to be vetted?"

(HTFB's answer: yes, if you want to keep them docile.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 19 November, 2013, 12:29:04 pm
Possibly NSFW -

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/07/newcastle-university-applies-trademark-rude-word_n_4057198.html?utm_hp_ref=tw (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/07/newcastle-university-applies-trademark-rude-word_n_4057198.html?utm_hp_ref=tw)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on 25 November, 2013, 01:33:17 pm
Dog Godwins teh interwebz (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10831689.York_dog_looks_just_like_Hitler/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 25 November, 2013, 06:02:45 pm
Heathrow hires high-wire team to change tens of thousands of 'out of reach' light bulbs (http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/heathrow-hires-highwire-team-to-change-tens-of-thousands-of-out-of-reach-light-bulbs-8961562.html?origin=internalSearch)

Okay, I accept that Heathrow doesn't really count as "The Provinces", and note that this story is actually about a cockup by the companies that installed the system that was supposed the provide access to the fittings, rather than the usual architect with no sense of practicality you might assume (no hand-painted pink self-tapping screws here).

But I'm really posting it for the comments...

Quote
They must be made to wear Hi-Viz vests and have number plates fitted. I'm sick to death of the damage done to my car by these louts.

I'm reasonably sure that lamps don't pay road tax, either.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 25 November, 2013, 06:13:48 pm
... the usual architect with no sense of practicality you might assume ....
Like the one who designed buildings for a housing co-op in Reading with stairwells lit by windows that didn't open, which could only be accessed from the outside by putting up complicated & expensive scaffolding to get over roofs, & were shielded from rain so didn't even get a good rinse every now & then?

Amazing how quickly they went black.

He also specified cheap-looking but remarkably expensive plastic door handles which broke very easily indeed. I was told it was all to do with the aesthetics of functionality . . . .  Apparently it doesn't matter if it works, as long as it looks vaguely industrial. :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 November, 2013, 12:50:35 pm
Monster terrorising children in Swindon.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10843084.This_scary_monster_is_really_a_big_softie/?ref=mmsp
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 09 December, 2013, 11:35:01 pm
Blouse stolen (http://www.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/blouse-stolen-from-oxfam-in-stamford-1-5722707#comments-area)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 10 December, 2013, 12:02:57 am
http://www.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/bin-collection-dates-change-over-christmas-1-5732897 (http://www.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/bin-collection-dates-change-over-christmas-1-5732897)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 10 December, 2013, 12:03:50 am
Blouse stolen (http://ww.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/blouse-stolen-from-oxfam-in-stamford-1-5722707)
Webpage stolen :P
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 10 December, 2013, 12:11:44 am
Blouse stolen (http://ww.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/blouse-stolen-from-oxfam-in-stamford-1-5722707)
Webpage stolen :P
Webpage returned now!!  :P
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Flying Duck on 10 December, 2013, 12:13:12 am
http://www.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/blouse-stolen-from-oxfam-in-stamford-1-5722707#comments-area (http://www.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/blouse-stolen-from-oxfam-in-stamford-1-5722707#comments-area)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: L CC on 11 December, 2013, 02:41:08 pm
Escape Rabbits (http://www.buryfreepress.co.uk/news/local/latest-news/video-magical-rabbit-has-a-talent-for-miracle-escapes-1-5728060)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 12 December, 2013, 09:45:24 am

Burglary suspect gets into unmarked police car insted of taxi
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10869453.Burglary_suspect_gets_into_unmarked_police_car_insted_of_taxi/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10869453.Burglary_suspect_gets_into_unmarked_police_car_insted_of_taxi/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 14 December, 2013, 11:18:52 am
It's all kicking off in Exeter: https://twitter.com/TheMediaTweets/status/411626454820978689/photo/1
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 16 December, 2013, 01:36:27 pm
I'm beginning to warm to the spirit of Xmas. God Bless MK.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/dec/15/milton-keynes-winter-wonderland-complaints
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 December, 2013, 03:08:05 pm
http://metro.co.uk/2013/12/14/artificial-leg-prompts-paedophile-panic-at-swimming-pool-and-evacuation-of-children-4230694/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 17 December, 2013, 06:43:44 pm
http://metro.co.uk/2013/12/14/artificial-leg-prompts-paedophile-panic-at-swimming-pool-and-evacuation-of-children-4230694/

Oh FFS!  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 December, 2013, 06:50:31 pm
http://metro.co.uk/2013/12/14/artificial-leg-prompts-paedophile-panic-at-swimming-pool-and-evacuation-of-children-4230694/

Oh FFS!  :facepalm:

I was trying to imagine a situation where your first instinct is to evacuate the kids in case of paedogeddon, rather than - for example - check there isn't someone passed out in the cubicle.

But someone mentioned there had been previous peeping tom incidents at that pool...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: L CC on 18 December, 2013, 02:52:10 pm
http://www.eadt.co.uk/news/helmingham_village_post_box_stolen_a_week_before_christmas_1_3124108
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: red marley on 18 December, 2013, 06:36:07 pm
Surely that officer who is doing a grand job fighting crime throughout East Anglia (http://www.google.co.uk/search?tbs=sbi:AMhZZivXm98XlTauFBu0C2Kr9sojHwKYREEj-z0lE_1MaMhQMr93xmeXWCXLAR0EuSsSgH5vRxepVOOcLaH8cTkONV-EOsizrrDxIy8XTVEOt4t5htvhJ_1m_15z5hp31StZSu95I5yxvzaEKSABV2bPJlcm5xqlaUIimZIYFWnzDn8iKXAspYmdFPY0GyureTCooFjDgTojQy1BRuvQbPHYKui6qPUEYLweYHlV4UbO2_1g3H3cXQ47lbHFQBm-rH6HrSVYHHKWVlwbkz0Z22ynuQP3RrAtJ0MTNWlvbTDn-F0ZICyvfNEP27olroay4zC8XZkvziJK2xmu4AWxgGoFpN1YfCvXKJyVbptk5uqAfyKKaGA-e_1lUYW25XbjaJKOhCwHSpmeBmzPt1_1GbEiGM5O7JfEId6nk0TGt0a0d_1IP7EA5X1RQ2Gq5kDRNh7r3XOdji2Fv7gLdH01Qe29QkwNMplMRTSz8GhVMEDNhdZFUnwZLEyJEGOhH5tLwxAafK6Dfwro_1qRd6K00Gh-TrySi134WFtH0wxvB1jG6JpNlDCF9oQIH7W5fO4tAe-pfkIpHt_1p_17pDJUFPtcpzjeYgaCC_16_1A2ySIE9Y64lQp7MUnyjM2jUM_1JJ9DiBJuv4dmpJGK-uM30KAVn7IMs_1V9z7qrLR4ObSe76s7TJ0BFQjo25YoQf8kg8X-sQyOl3CIBjM13PFQvhR1ikw-cDpK_1sZN5jU9sse3GxrK4xFE87IgHFt3y9NebaygEbksgsrFncGCkYGkDalIQGy7r-KbdoWYzdC78WeFktgrKmFQXkO9zl9AzezDrsb_1wCmdTA9T4bqxYOjupxQiZyAx7Xn7GM12gUwDL7zxAIJlsM6cxRdjQ1VvUTODe-jtXsb-z6adsZIOhcNiTUj5mUbc_1RIXfvTJVUYD17bk4wgTj1XKxZz7VrG87SiDB-q4Y3OZlrFDRwrpAUNUQFMEAzPq4DMmM4vWGRXj8oUAAnXcZihlfDvWQxDCmoBhf0Y3cWkSr5SEF-ZtpkacvxZ9vJMWcyS-BdF5lwTUkhjQNQwGPstqptetv1tdN1slVntE3ydn8fu_1hTLJT_1QXtMhuoCxoA9kT0qKBtOq5o496Gc65kSn6h3gorecNr77mNXW_1oxkDVaj_1S7L0H4WqAtzpITm5WDwF_1Hilydurg6USsC_13ubpc0c4jqbvmP9LpgizfqxIFeaWezQ3VJyFR7LfO7jTlM5SQJI-nXfKUlQ1r30xwrX9RclC8hbAcOLr9-FHBTwsuIVyGRL8a8AmwkdHVbO9qnOOiEMWVhPvIL8dHayAQ&ei=3qiyUruoIbOM7AaJioHABw&start=10&sa=N&filter=0&biw=1438&bih=883) deserves some kind of medal.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 December, 2013, 06:33:48 am
Swindon has a new car park, with slightly wider spaces than all the others.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10886361.Wide_bay_car_park_seen_as_fresh_start_for_town/

Seriously, since every successive generation of a car seems to be 2" wider than the last one, this is probably necessary.  It's quite hard to walk between cars in most car parks now.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 19 December, 2013, 07:05:01 am
Swindon has a new car park, with slightly wider spaces than all the others.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10886361.Wide_bay_car_park_seen_as_fresh_start_for_town/

Seriously, since every successive generation of a car seems to be 2" wider than the last one, this is probably necessary. It's quite hard to walk between cars in most car parks now.

It's not the cars that are 2" wider, Roger....   ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on 19 December, 2013, 08:36:20 am
Swindon has a new car park, with slightly wider spaces than all the others.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10886361.Wide_bay_car_park_seen_as_fresh_start_for_town/

Seriously, since every successive generation of a car seems to be 2" wider than the last one, this is probably necessary.  It's quite hard to walk between cars in most car parks now.

Going slightly OT for a second, this is why I like going to Costco (apart from the cheap prices, good food etc) as the car parking spaces are made to US standards, thus REALLY wide.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 19 December, 2013, 09:32:55 am
I see that Buzzfeed offers a helpful 2013 local news roundup (http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/the-best-local-newspaper-stories-of-2013).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 20 December, 2013, 01:06:39 pm
Very minor earth tremour affects no one and causes no damage. (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/earthquake-hits-home-world-bog-6431723)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: graculus on 20 December, 2013, 03:01:56 pm
"The earthquake was around half the strength of another tremor to hit Wales earlier this year.
In May, an earthquake measuring a magnitude of 3.8 on the Richter scale struck off the Welsh coast."

Someone not quite got the hang of the Richter scale there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 December, 2013, 04:03:01 pm
Okay, there's a storm on the way.  So let's have the photos of broken umbrellas from all your local news sources...

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BcLk05yCQAEP2dy.png) (https://twitter.com/BhamUpdates/status/415145713182326784)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 23 December, 2013, 04:14:47 pm
Mrs B & I passed a few while walking home from the shops before lunch, having gone out before it all got too bad, nicely wrapped in waterproofs.  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 December, 2013, 04:45:13 pm
I've never been to Giles Latcham  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 23 December, 2013, 04:54:34 pm
I've never been to Giles Latcham  ;D

You'll find it looks very similar to Birmingham.   :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 23 December, 2013, 05:57:30 pm
Okay, there's a storm on the way.  So let's have the photos of broken umbrellas from all your local news sources...

If it floods we may get the ob. plucky cyclist pics.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 December, 2013, 08:19:45 pm
It fell off the back of a lorry. Honest Guv.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-25495416

Dodgy characters, from the description.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 26 December, 2013, 07:35:17 pm
Okay, there's a storm on the way.  So let's have the photos of broken umbrellas from all your local news sources...

If it floods we may get the ob. plucky cyclist pics.

Image 6: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25516197
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 28 December, 2013, 09:53:46 pm
https://twitter.com/brookejarvis/status/416992861293252608/photo/1
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 29 December, 2013, 03:26:37 pm
https://twitter.com/brookejarvis/status/416992861293252608/photo/1
*bzzzt*

That's a proper story!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 29 December, 2013, 04:01:07 pm
I suppose it does have beer & squirrels.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 December, 2013, 10:57:56 am
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10903747.Steak_and_kidney_pie__destroyed__in_cooking_fire/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 30 December, 2013, 11:03:02 am
Reminder to self:
Must renew Pie Insurance.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 30 December, 2013, 11:22:17 am
From the same source: Tea towel left on hob catches fire (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10903738.Tea_towel_left_on_hob_catches_fire/?ref=mr).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 31 December, 2013, 12:14:44 am
and also from that source, in non-fire related news: Man told to paint stripy beach hut more 'uniformly' (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10902366.Ex_soldier_hits_out_at_council_staff_calling_for_him_to_repaint_beach_hut_in_more____uniform____colours/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 31 December, 2013, 12:16:31 am
Don't get 'caught short' in Whitehaven -
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/council-plans-to-demolish-toilet-block-1.1106449
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 31 December, 2013, 01:36:22 am
and also from that source, in non-fire related news: Man told to paint stripy beach hut more 'uniformly' (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10902366.Ex_soldier_hits_out_at_council_staff_calling_for_him_to_repaint_beach_hut_in_more____uniform____colours/?ref=mr)

He could paint it like DPM...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 31 December, 2013, 09:34:09 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-25561410
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Euan Uzami on 02 January, 2014, 10:48:21 pm
http://thelincolnite.co.uk/2013/12/man-arrested-lawn-mower-theft-lincoln/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tewdric on 03 January, 2014, 07:19:03 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-25561410

Probably following a tip off from a grass..
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 03 January, 2014, 07:25:20 am
Probably following a tip off from a grass..
VG.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 03 January, 2014, 01:14:35 pm
Man makes unkind remarks about town (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/pointless_criticism_of_welwyn_garden_city_by_quiz_fan_1_3174264)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 04 January, 2014, 07:22:45 pm
I don't think we've had these before. All from the Brighton Argus
http://www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/the-30-best-headlines-of-the-argus
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 January, 2014, 08:53:59 am
Fantastic.  Especially the tragic story of the moth.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 January, 2014, 07:33:36 pm
http://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/10913345.Tractor_collides_with_a_lamppost_at_A361_Seend_Fork/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 January, 2014, 05:53:41 pm
Do the colonies count?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-25618683
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 January, 2014, 12:02:40 pm
Something didn't catch fire.
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Traffic-chaos-morning-false-alarm-Cheltenham-Road/story-20409109-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 January, 2014, 06:39:14 am
Some travel news from this morning.

Quote
Dry Lane Crawley

road Live travel

Dry Lane both ways closed due to flooding near Leafield Road / Farm Lane / Witney Hill / Foxburrow Lane.

Last updated 9 hours ago
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 09 January, 2014, 01:08:43 pm
Woman Bites Car (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/woman-bit-through-car-roof-6484156l)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 January, 2014, 09:14:03 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10933499.Witness_appeal_after_two_year_old_is_struck_in_face_with_a_potato/?ref=la
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tewdric on 13 January, 2014, 09:21:41 pm
Not sure if this is the place, but this is a wonderful piss-take...

http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/twin-rich-poor-parts-city/story-20434312-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 15 January, 2014, 07:59:29 pm
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/57044735/IMG_1762.JPG)

I, for one, welcome our new amphibian overlord.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 January, 2014, 07:15:54 pm
Oiks knock over bins in York:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25766781

(Meanwhile, in Leftpondia:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-23585031)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 16 January, 2014, 11:51:33 pm
There are eleven black and white televisions in Caernarfon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 January, 2014, 01:26:41 am
Painkillers?  McDonald's?  Drooling?  1000 yard stare?  I think we all know what was going on here...

http://www.wane.com/news/crime/man-arrested-after-passing-out-on-mcdonalds-table
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2014, 09:30:56 am
Painkillers?  McDonald's?  Drooling?  1000 yard stare?  I think we all know what was going on here...

http://www.wane.com/news/crime/man-arrested-after-passing-out-on-mcdonalds-table
A 600km audax?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2014, 11:59:37 am
Frikkin lasers (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Man-charged-using-laser-dazzle-police-helicopter/story-20471913-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 21 January, 2014, 01:30:36 pm
Fridge sends spam

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25780908 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25780908)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2014, 02:14:16 pm
Fridge sends spam

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25780908 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25780908)
"I am empty, buy more spam."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 21 January, 2014, 04:55:02 pm
Rubbish Stripper attacks audience (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/court-told-how-novice-stripper-6534180)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Zipperhead on 22 January, 2014, 03:56:21 pm


Man Subjected To Multiple Rectal Searches And Enemas By Police Officers Receives $1.6 Million Settlement (http://www.freshnews.org/feeds/techdirt/posts/man-subjected-to-multiple-rectal-searches-and-enemas-by-police-officers-receives-1-6-million-settlement)

Those cops didn't take no for an answer. Repeatedly.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 22 January, 2014, 11:18:18 pm


Man Subjected To Multiple Rectal Searches And Enemas By Police Officers Receives $1.6 Million Settlement (http://www.freshnews.org/feeds/techdirt/posts/man-subjected-to-multiple-rectal-searches-and-enemas-by-police-officers-receives-1-6-million-settlement)

Those cops didn't take no for an answer. Repeatedly.

Ruddy Norah  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 22 January, 2014, 11:19:32 pm
Oh uggber, I mean rubber! (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-25852322)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 23 January, 2014, 08:05:14 am
Oh uggber, I mean rubber! (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-25852322)

I love the ambergris meme.... "it's worth thousands to the US perfume industry".

No it isn't.  The US considers all ambergris (not just black ambergris) to be covered by CITES and its a criminal offence to sell it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 23 January, 2014, 02:03:01 pm
Aberystwyth magistrates don't feel that 29 points is enough for a ban (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-25849675)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 February, 2014, 05:55:22 pm
Crocodile terrorising bus drivers in Bristol docks (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/LIVE-BLOG-Croc-spot-latest-Bristol-s-crocodile/story-20555985-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 04 February, 2014, 06:45:52 pm
Crocodile terrorising bus drivers in Bristol docks (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/LIVE-BLOG-Croc-spot-latest-Bristol-s-crocodile/story-20555985-detail/story.html)

I hope they breathalysed the bus driver who first reported it...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 04 February, 2014, 07:00:36 pm
Love it !!!

I haven't dug back to the start of that story, but I'm suspecting a cunning publicity dept at the film company.

Nessy, the Dartmoor Puma, now this - it's looking like a reliable formula.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 04 February, 2014, 10:23:29 pm
Possessed by the urge to dial 999. (http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/999-calls-ghosts-Torquay-witches-Newton-Abbot/story-20375766-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tom_e on 04 February, 2014, 10:37:46 pm
Possessed by the urge to dial 999. (http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/999-calls-ghosts-Torquay-witches-Newton-Abbot/story-20375766-detail/story.html)

Quote
One unfortunate man believed there was a ghost in his house and had found blood on the bathroom door. It later turned out his friends had played a prank.
;D Gits.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 04 February, 2014, 10:49:23 pm
Possessed by the urge to dial 999. (http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/999-calls-ghosts-Torquay-witches-Newton-Abbot/story-20375766-detail/story.html)

From the comments:

Quote
The Police should take ghosts far more seriously. Once caught they should be unmasked. How many crimes are committed by people pretending to be ghosts ! There was the old man from the amusement park, there was the janitor, there was old man smithers, there was the old woman from the lighthouse, there was the guy who was looking for buried treasure in the old mine although he dressed up as the miner 49er, they would have all gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids and that dumb dog. The Police need to take Ghost crime more seriously or run the risk of looking like a cartoon force.
Tee, and what is more, hee.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on 08 February, 2014, 09:54:57 pm
Three-legged dog will not be put down after biting man (http://www.cambrian-news.co.uk/news/i/37802/).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 11 February, 2014, 06:14:19 pm
A PLYMOUTH woman who cancelled her brother's wedding in what a court heard was like an “EastEnders plot line” has been sent to prison. (http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/Jail-Plymouth-woman-cancelled-brother-s-wedding/story-20604856-detail/story.html#ixzz2t2RntRhD)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 February, 2014, 06:16:48 pm
A PLYMOUTH woman who cancelled her brother's wedding in what a court heard was like an “EastEnders plot line” has been sent to prison. (http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/Jail-Plymouth-woman-cancelled-brother-s-wedding/story-20604856-detail/story.html#ixzz2t2RntRhD)

When we did the giving notice thing, they stressed that any alteration to the date had to be made in person with a load of ID.  Apparently this sort of thing happens a lot...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 11 February, 2014, 06:33:06 pm
...and also:-

Exeter's Dr Emily Bernhard Jackson, author of The Coma Sutra, is writing to the rescue of those unable to compose a truly romantic love letter. (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Exeter-Coma-Sutra-author-comes-rescue-lovelorn/story-20604884-detail/story.html#ixzz2t2WYwQrW)


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 11 February, 2014, 06:55:14 pm
...and also:-

Exeter's Dr Emily Bernhard Jackson, author of The Coma Sutra, is writing to the rescue of those unable to compose a truly romantic love letter. (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Exeter-Coma-Sutra-author-comes-rescue-lovelorn/story-20604884-detail/story.html#ixzz2t2WYwQrW)

Quote
In a world where the popularity of Twitter has reduced everyday conversation to a mere 140 characters, she is determined to breath new life into the dying art of composing a love letter.
  ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 February, 2014, 08:19:59 pm
Or for mediaeval choristers - semi-breve, and breathe.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 12 February, 2014, 05:50:07 pm
...and also:-

Exeter's Dr Emily Bernhard Jackson, author of The Coma Sutra, is writing to the rescue of those unable to compose a truly romantic love letter. (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Exeter-Coma-Sutra-author-comes-rescue-lovelorn/story-20604884-detail/story.html#ixzz2t2WYwQrW)

Quote
In a world where the popularity of Twitter has reduced everyday conversation to a mere 140 characters, she is determined to breath new life into the dying art of composing a love letter.
  ::-)
She's saved a whole letter there.

IGMC ...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 12 February, 2014, 06:43:48 pm
Bumper crop this week.

Collie dog eats Somerset builder's £80k Aston Martin car. (http://www.bridgwatermercury.co.uk/news/10983785.Dog_eats_Somerset_builder_s___80k_Aston_Martin/?ref=ms)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 15 February, 2014, 12:15:55 pm
Romance is dead in Darlington (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11009173.Man_who_harassed_embalmer_had__an_unhealthy_interest_in_the_dead_/?ref=mry).

...but not quite dead in Stockton (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/teesvalley/stockton/11010359.Proving_that_in_Stockton_romance_is_not_dead/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruth on 15 February, 2014, 12:19:50 pm
Well, I live in Darlington and got two valentine cards, so there  :P

OK so they were both from dogs, but I'm really not fussy.

I believe both the dogs are alive, bonus.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 15 February, 2014, 03:12:08 pm
Stockton's fine.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 February, 2014, 06:30:47 pm
Gillette.  The Best A Cat Can Get.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11018755.Mystery_over_outbreak_of_cat_shaving_incidents/

I could have saved them the bother; cats are the same pattern underneath their fur).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 18 February, 2014, 07:53:15 pm

Helen Mirren rumoured to have been spotted in Honiton cafe (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Helen-Mirren-rumoured-spotted-Honiton-cafe/story-20650691-detail/story.html#ixzz2thkgZgXK)

Quote
Over the last few years the café has had a number of famous customers including jazz legend Jools Holland, a Cash in the Attic presenter, Dragon’s Den judges Deborah Meaden and Theo Paphitis and a former president of Zambia who surprised diners with an impromptu go on the piano.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 February, 2014, 09:33:08 pm
Bumper crop this week.

Collie dog eats Somerset builder's £80k Aston Martin car. (http://www.bridgwatermercury.co.uk/news/10983785.Dog_eats_Somerset_builder_s___80k_Aston_Martin/?ref=ms)
Dogma bites karma.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PaulR on 21 February, 2014, 05:19:37 pm
Orpington man got really drunk (http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/11029025.Orpington_man_wakes_up_in_Amsterdam_after_getting_really_drunk_at_funeral/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 21 February, 2014, 07:56:26 pm
Orpington man got really drunk (http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/11029025.Orpington_man_wakes_up_in_Amsterdam_after_getting_really_drunk_at_funeral/?ref=rss)

The other stories linked onwards in the News Shopper are a triumph:

Quote
Single Bromley woman auctions herself on eBay to find Valentine's Day dinner date

Woman outraged at 'inappropriate' lingerie-clad mannequins in window of Debenhams, Bromley

Bromley girl's Valentine's Day eBay auction winner refuses to pay
Classy place, Bromley.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 24 February, 2014, 08:00:51 pm
Seagulls in sausage roll frenzy (http://www.thescarboroughnews.co.uk/news/environment/sausage-roll-scoffed-in-seagull-frenzy-1-6459809)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 February, 2014, 08:43:43 pm
Best headline.  Ever.

http://www.thisiswiltshire.co.uk/news/headlines/10939545._We_re_just_fed_up_with_doggers__flytippers_and_men_dressed_as_fairies_/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 24 February, 2014, 09:59:48 pm
That's a story about a group of men planning to go hang around a dogging site...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 February, 2014, 10:42:05 am
Essex Nazis (http://www.essexchronicle.co.uk/Swastikas-engraved-Essex-county-hall-Chelmsford/story-20699461-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 26 February, 2014, 11:28:19 am
It merely reflects the politics of the County Council.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 26 February, 2014, 11:29:23 am
Breaking News! (http://www.midweekherald.co.uk/news/quake_felt_in_honiton_1_3344204)

Quote
I was up in my bedroom having a bit of lunch when suddenly my big three-door wardrobe started vibrating.

It went on a little while.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 February, 2014, 11:32:20 am
It merely reflects the politics of the County Council.
As many faces as Lord Brahma or Greek finances?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 27 February, 2014, 07:40:48 pm
Eviction on the Western Isles (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-25734705)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 28 February, 2014, 05:38:48 pm
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11039130.Second_parking_vote_lost_as_Rochford_Tory_resigns/?ref=mr

Councillor resigns over something that really matters.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 28 February, 2014, 06:00:18 pm
Angela Hale looks pretty scary in that photo.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 01 March, 2014, 07:59:43 am
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11039130.Second_parking_vote_lost_as_Rochford_Tory_resigns/?ref=mr

Councillor resigns over something that really matters.

Yeah - defending the rights of people to park for free is really important...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on 01 March, 2014, 07:31:46 pm
Former primary school headteacher from Wrexham spanked wife over affair (http://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/former-primary-school-headteacher-wrexham-6741497).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 March, 2014, 09:31:52 pm
At my primary school she would have got The Slipper.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 02 March, 2014, 07:32:28 am
Ruler across the back of the knees at mine. None of your namby pamby slippers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 03 March, 2014, 10:41:43 am
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11039130.Second_parking_vote_lost_as_Rochford_Tory_resigns/?ref=mr

Councillor resigns over something that really matters.
Yeah - defending the rights of people to park for free is really important...
What I found strange was that the Green councillor voted for the suspension of parking charges in that second motion (or more accurately, for the motion delaying the introduction)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: little miss mac on 03 March, 2014, 06:25:22 pm
From the Wandsworth Guardian: woman indoors when weather inclement; unhurt.

(http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7449/12909781095_d3f99b1b36.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 05 March, 2014, 08:00:48 am
20 tonne piece of lead on a roof?  I think someone's got their units mixed up...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 05 March, 2014, 09:36:46 am
According to the London Metal Exchange website, the current value of 20 tonnes of lead is about £42000. No wonder house prices are going up!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 05 March, 2014, 10:24:24 am
Putney B&B is helpfully marked on Google Maps.  Streetview confirms that there is no suitable roof for that sort of covering around there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 March, 2014, 10:46:30 pm
In the top 185 in the country (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Bristol-184th-musical-place-live-UK/story-20773042-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 07 March, 2014, 07:33:01 am
I note that Sheffield, one of the country's most fertile musical hubs, rates 176.  Did someone just take a list of places and a random number generator?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 07 March, 2014, 07:34:58 am
I note that Sheffield, one of the country's most fertile musical hubs, rates 176.  Did someone just take a list of places and a random number generator?

I think that's the case for most of the 'Top of' lists that appear in various publications...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 07 March, 2014, 07:35:54 am
Probably so.  But it makes for a good press release.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 07 March, 2014, 10:23:33 am
Anyone up for a night ride?

http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/News/Bedfordshire-dogging-sites-exposed-An-area-of-outstanding-natural-beauty-and-a-supermarket-car-park-20140306150000.htm (http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/News/Bedfordshire-dogging-sites-exposed-An-area-of-outstanding-natural-beauty-and-a-supermarket-car-park-20140306150000.htm)
 :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 March, 2014, 11:00:10 am
I note that Sheffield, one of the country's most fertile musical hubs, rates 176.  Did someone just take a list of places and a random number generator?
Sheffield fails to make top 175 shock!

There's no attempt to explain what is meant by "the ability to engage with music" or how they measured it, nor is there any kind of scale - so it might as well be random. If we assume these are "points out of a hundred" then the range from top 84.27 to bottom 72.52 doesn't seem that huge.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 07 March, 2014, 11:10:23 am
I am sure that we could have David Martin rubbing his hands with glee once we start to ask about sampling, let alone methodology! ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 11 March, 2014, 08:28:31 pm
Norfolk: Fire station destroyed in fire. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-26525149)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 11 March, 2014, 08:46:40 pm
Norfolk: Fire station destroyed in fire. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-26525149)

It's not uncommon (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-20577549). (My other half's parents lived next door).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 11 March, 2014, 09:27:09 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11066036.Mural_painted_over_by__masked_vigilantes___as_Sherburn_barber_threatened_online/?ref=mr

Oh dear.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 March, 2014, 09:31:46 pm
Norfolk: Fire station destroyed in fire. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-26525149)

It's not uncommon (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-20577549). (My other half's parents lived next door).

This makes me feel bad for grinning every time I see the "fire assembly point" sign outside our local one.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 12 March, 2014, 08:13:22 am
Surely their job is more about fire disassembly? (Any one of fuel, heat, oxygen, IIRC)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 March, 2014, 10:59:58 am
Fire un-fettling.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 12 March, 2014, 04:47:44 pm
Well, that's settled that debate.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on 12 March, 2014, 05:31:29 pm
In the top 185 in the country (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Bristol-184th-musical-place-live-UK/story-20773042-detail/story.html)

Swale is 366th out of 375. I must try harder.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 March, 2014, 09:36:59 am
Crashed a van full of dead badgers into a bustop (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/11071240.Kelly_Brook_s_ex_boyfriend_crashed_van_full_of_dead_badgers_into_bus_shelter_in_Gloucester/?ref=var_0).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 March, 2014, 09:42:10 am
Crashed a van full of dead badgers into a bustop (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/11071240.Kelly_Brook_s_ex_boyfriend_crashed_van_full_of_dead_badgers_into_bus_shelter_in_Gloucester/?ref=var_0).
He loves badgers (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/11073788.Kelly_Brook_s_ex_boyfriend_David_McIntosh_says_he_loves_animals_and_is_against_culling_badgers/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 13 March, 2014, 01:44:11 pm
Meanwhile in Canterbury, no bus stops were harmed: http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_gazette/news/blubberneckers-13296/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 13 March, 2014, 05:35:30 pm
This may appear later in the 'things you find by the roadside' thread by someone from Middlesbrough:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/middlesbrough-penis-attack-arrest-after-3238099
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 13 March, 2014, 05:38:18 pm
Meanwhile in Canterbury, no bus stops were harmed: http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_gazette/news/blubberneckers-13296/

Hmmm... I'd have said that was illegal transportation of animal waste.  Also, I'd be interested to see whether they had correct permission to dispore of the carcass.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 14 March, 2014, 10:53:30 pm
sentenced to 16 months in prison after officers found him concealing a 20cm knife between his buttocks (http://www.getwestlondon.co.uk/news/local-news/gang-member-jailed-carrying-knife-6804126)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 15 March, 2014, 07:55:39 pm
Meanwhile in Canterbury, no bus stops were harmed: http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_gazette/news/blubberneckers-13296/

Hmmm... I'd have said that was illegal transportation of animal waste.  Also, I'd be interested to see whether they had correct permission to dispore of the carcass.
Being a fish royal, it can only be disposed of by the Receiver of Wreck, on behalf of the Queen. Maritime and Coastguard Agency rules are here (http://www.dft.gov.uk/mca/mca920.pdf).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on 15 March, 2014, 10:33:33 pm
(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bib8HgsIcAAx8Wx.jpg)

Not even two boxes, it was two packets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 16 March, 2014, 09:36:21 am
I suspect that was two boxes, but even so.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 25 March, 2014, 09:29:00 am
Ms Talbot was cleared of an allegation that she played the rock song Sex On Fire and subsequently shouted out of her office window: "Come on vicar, complain about this." (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-26725521)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 25 March, 2014, 01:23:53 pm
'Gun' turns out to be television remote control (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11099911.Man___s_gun_turned_out_to_be_television_remote_control/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 02 April, 2014, 08:49:07 pm
Just for the headline: http://www.donsidepiper.co.uk/news/local-headlines/farmers-of-the-world-ewe-nite-1-3361630
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 03 April, 2014, 11:24:19 am
The headline for this one should be the start of a music hall joke: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-26864338
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 03 April, 2014, 11:34:28 am
The headline for this one should be the start of a music hall joke: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-26864338

That headline couldn't be battered.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 19 April, 2014, 07:50:32 pm
"Family's car catches fire in Longleat lion enclosure"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-27078566
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Dibdib on 23 April, 2014, 05:31:27 pm
"Naked man Tasered after throwing pants at police officer" [Swindon Advertiser (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11166705.Naked_man_Tasered_after_throwing_pants_at_police_officer/)]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on 24 April, 2014, 03:22:56 pm
Thieves target homes with low self esteem:

Linky (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2014/04/24/handbag-raiders-swoop-on-houses-in-telford/)

Quote
Chris Ammonds, of West Mercia Police said: “The offenders seem to be targeting properties that seem to be insecure."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 25 April, 2014, 11:11:07 am
Devil worshipping, live sacrifice and "fornicating fun for all the family"

Rush over to Stevenage now

Or maybe it's a hoax (http://www.thecomet.net/news/devil_worshipping_posters_in_stevenage_are_a_malicious_hoax_1_3571374/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 28 April, 2014, 08:57:32 pm
Romance is dead in Darlington (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11009173.Man_who_harassed_embalmer_had__an_unhealthy_interest_in_the_dead_/?ref=mry).


This one's still not dead:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11174112.Darlington_man_who_threatened_funeral_director_spared_jail_after_telling_magistrates___Prison_is_simply_not_for_me_/?ref=mr

I'll bet he rehearsed those lines.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: delthebike on 29 April, 2014, 04:44:07 pm
This is a nice idea.  :-*
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11176920.Have_a_banana__Our_2_000_pressies_for_hospice___s_runners/?ref=la
They should give them now so that they'll be ripe in time!  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 May, 2014, 10:58:08 am
Biff Tannen sighted in mini:

http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/photo_gallery_lorry_sheds_load_of_slurry_during_crash_on_a140_at_pulham_1_3580983
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 01 May, 2014, 11:04:42 am
Oh poo.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 04 May, 2014, 04:43:38 pm
They know how to have a good time in Ely:

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/ziggycat/1D0665EF-567F-4D45-BF6D-E0D7661B3DC3_zpsad4uekyx.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: delthebike on 04 May, 2014, 04:46:57 pm
I expect the food fayre will contain bruised eel pie.  ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 04 May, 2014, 08:07:08 pm
Popular knob competitions. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-27259589)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 04 May, 2014, 08:12:03 pm
Popular knob competitions. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-27259589)


Quote
The longest throw was by Dave Morrison, who tossed his knob 21.8m (71ft).

Hurrah!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 May, 2014, 09:55:35 pm
They know how to have a good time in Ely:

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/ziggycat/1D0665EF-567F-4D45-BF6D-E0D7661B3DC3_zpsad4uekyx.jpg)

I reckon they're giving Peasenhall (of Pea Festival fame) a run for their money...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 05 May, 2014, 11:01:54 am
They know how to have a good time in Ely:

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/ziggycat/1D0665EF-567F-4D45-BF6D-E0D7661B3DC3_zpsad4uekyx.jpg)

Do they have to eat the eels before throwing them?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on 05 May, 2014, 11:19:38 am
Popular knob competitions. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-27259589)
Quote
The longest throw was by Dave Morrison, who tossed his knob 21.8m (71ft).
Hurrah!
We went to that yesterday. Didn't toss any knobs, but the food fair associated with it was rather good.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on 05 May, 2014, 11:20:19 am
I wonder how Cockermouth celebrates.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 05 May, 2014, 04:04:19 pm
Restaurant has to shut

http://www.gloucestercitizen.co.uk/Real-China-Gloucester-Quays-closes-technical/story-21058423-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 05 May, 2014, 04:08:52 pm
Car in collision with van. No-one hurt.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11187897.Crash_in_Southend_town_centre_leaves_Mercedes_badly_damaged/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 05 May, 2014, 07:44:16 pm
I wonder how Cockermouth celebrates.

With a music festival.  CockRock (http://www.cockermouthrockfestival.com/)  :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 May, 2014, 11:07:19 pm
Water tanker on fire

http://www.shetnews.co.uk/newsbites/8489-tank-on-fire
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 13 May, 2014, 10:31:43 am
Our local rag has just undergone a change of editorship, and not before time. Bear in mind that the Southend Echo is essentially one and the same as the Basildon version, where Andy Coulson cut his journalistic fangs, and the previous editor was everything you might have expected him to be. Mendacious and twisting to a fault, this guy has now retired and in recent weeks a new guy has taken his place.

The difference, so far, is huge. The paper is actually doing the job a newspaper is meant to do - holding the council to account and daring to criticise. I wonder how long he will last before the owners, and the good ol' boys who influence them, will get shot of him and put some other nasty corrupting influence in charge.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 13 May, 2014, 06:43:43 pm
Water tanker on fire

http://www.shetnews.co.uk/newsbites/8489-tank-on-fire

At least the fire brigade had a water supply to connect their hoses to...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 16 May, 2014, 04:49:09 pm
 Fire training centre burns down

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11218782.UPDATE_3_25pm__Why_firefighters_had_to_dash_to_North_Yorkshire_s_fire_training_centre/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11218782.UPDATE_3_25pm__Why_firefighters_had_to_dash_to_North_Yorkshire_s_fire_training_centre/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 June, 2014, 05:00:46 pm
Woman drags dishwasher home:

http://www.folkestoneherald.co.uk/PICTURE-Woman-drags-dishwasher-home/story-21170379-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 01 June, 2014, 06:18:14 pm
If she's trying to take it round Ireland, she's off course.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 02 June, 2014, 06:33:11 pm
Builder gets it wrong (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/beaks-hill-road-kings-norton-7205545)

Quote
A spokesman for West Midlands Fire Service said: “Fire crews were called out at 4.08pm and are still at the scene and liaising with the builder who was on site.

"Hello?  Mrs. Gruffbrummie?  Sorry to call you at work, but you know that kitchen extension I'm doing for you.'.............?"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 04 June, 2014, 05:18:14 pm
Morris dancers scare dog.

Go to page 9 of the Honiton edition. (http://edition.pagesuite-professional.co.uk/Launch.aspx?PBID=03a901df-0b77-4e35-90e6-93ca8d117094)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 04 June, 2014, 07:39:02 pm
Morris dancers scare dog.

Go to page 9 of the Honiton edition. (http://edition.pagesuite-professional.co.uk/Launch.aspx?PBID=03a901df-0b77-4e35-90e6-93ca8d117094)


Now I know why Mrs E and her sisters and brother left Devon; they couldn't bear the excitement.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 05 June, 2014, 07:32:19 am
Morris dancers scare dog.

Go to page 9 of the Honiton edition. (http://edition.pagesuite-professional.co.uk/Launch.aspx?PBID=03a901df-0b77-4e35-90e6-93ca8d117094)

Morris dancers are a quite convincing argument for repealing the ban on hunting with dogs...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: arabella on 05 June, 2014, 05:43:51 pm
Hmm.  I like Morris dancing, it's cheerfully absurd.  And they wear jolly costumes and (sometimes) splendid hats.  And the music is all jolly'n'cherful. If I was up to all that skipping and jumpng around the place I'd probably do it myself.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 09 June, 2014, 11:02:51 pm
http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11264412.Naked_Tour_de_France_cyclist_who_answered_call_of_nature_in_farmer_s_field_prompts_toilet_plea/?ref=mr

Quote
The man said the family would now stand elsewhere.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruth on 09 June, 2014, 11:06:20 pm
http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11264412.Naked_Tour_de_France_cyclist_who_answered_call_of_nature_in_farmer_s_field_prompts_toilet_plea/?ref=mr

Quote
The man said the family would now stand elsewhere.

Quote
It is understood that when professional cyclists competing in the Tour de France need to go, they will often relieve themselves while still on their bikes.

EWWW!!!  I thought it was just Greg Lemond who did that!   :sick:

You'd think it'd be a bit squishy and uncomfortable.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 09 June, 2014, 11:07:08 pm
Looking at the saddles they use, maybe it adds padding :-\
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 09 June, 2014, 11:51:54 pm
http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11264412.Naked_Tour_de_France_cyclist_who_answered_call_of_nature_in_farmer_s_field_prompts_toilet_plea/?ref=mr

Quote
The man said the family would now stand elsewhere.

Honestly, it's a field. All sorts of animals will be pooing in it every day!

Anyway, they are a farming family, don't they have wellies?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 10 June, 2014, 12:14:43 am
Are you serious? I'd not want to be buying ASDA* silage, knowing there might be human poo in it.

* for our Bristol readers: ASDAL
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 June, 2014, 09:37:10 am
*Concludes Jaded has been visiting Bedminsterl*
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 June, 2014, 01:26:56 pm
In a pub in another part of Bristol, pea soup is the thing to order. (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Horrified-diner-finds-kitchen-pans-used-catch/story-21211408-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 12 June, 2014, 06:48:14 pm
Seems that fires in Llandysul are not very good
http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/11274946.Rubbish_fire/?ref=rss&utm_medium=twitter

Warning.  Very long article.  There are 14 whole words.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 12 June, 2014, 08:00:43 pm
Well, that was rubbish
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 12 June, 2014, 11:05:41 pm
Pink suspenders and an alice band. (http://www.westernmorningnews.co.uk/Man-jailed-walking-city-centre-wearing-pink/story-21226710-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 12 June, 2014, 11:09:48 pm
MAMIL rage?

http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11271537.Irate_cyclist_punches_grandfather_in_nose/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 22 June, 2014, 01:30:46 am
Anyone got 5 tonnes of sausages and a 100 gallons of gravy to complete this:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11293176.UPDATED_9_35pm__Instant_mash_spill_blocks_A64_in_both_directions/?ref=var_0

This is the nearest bit of main road to our house.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 22 June, 2014, 10:35:48 am
That could cause a smash.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 22 June, 2014, 10:38:13 am
Any bangers on the A64?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Peter on 22 June, 2014, 10:50:52 am
Did you notice the name of the reporter?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 22 June, 2014, 10:55:15 am
http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11264412.Naked_Tour_de_France_cyclist_who_answered_call_of_nature_in_farmer_s_field_prompts_toilet_plea/?ref=mr

Quote
The man said the family would now stand elsewhere.

The proper retort is, of course "I'll stop shitting in your field when you stop spreading your shit all over my roads!"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 29 June, 2014, 01:00:01 am
Not sure whether this belongs here or in the motoring morons thread

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-28062553
:facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 01 July, 2014, 09:37:45 am
Today's excitement at work: Cow in Aberdeen Harbour sparks lifeboat rescue effort (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-28105954)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 01 July, 2014, 03:58:23 pm
It got shot  :'(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 08 July, 2014, 02:35:26 pm
And this one takes the biscuit: Lorry and trailer full of shortbread stolen in Kintore (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-28210576)







That is my coat, isn't it?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on 08 July, 2014, 02:57:04 pm
Woman has 26 year old shop receipt stunner (http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2014/07/08/customer-amazes-staff-at-closing-down-supermarket-with-receipt-from-day-it-opened-26-years-ago/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 08 July, 2014, 06:52:12 pm
It's inappropriate to treat tragedy with levity, but "Southend murder: victim airlifted to hospital" seems wrong somehow.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 July, 2014, 04:45:30 pm
http://www.gazetteandherald.co.uk/news/11328181.Devizes_shoppers_drenched_by_late_arrival_of_forecast_downpour/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 15 July, 2014, 10:26:32 am
http://www.carmarthenjournal.co.uk/search.html?searchType=&searchPhrase=ufo&where= (http://www.carmarthenjournal.co.uk/search.html?searchType=&searchPhrase=ufo&where=)

…you have a choice of articles!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 15 July, 2014, 12:47:44 pm
Man locked in lavatory and released unharmed.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/man-rescued-liverpool-toilet-fire-7416102 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/man-rescued-liverpool-toilet-fire-7416102)


Pity it wasn't seven old ladies.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 15 July, 2014, 02:14:30 pm
Man locked in lavatory and released unharmed.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/man-rescued-liverpool-toilet-fire-7416102 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/man-rescued-liverpool-toilet-fire-7416102)


Pity it wasn't seven old ladies.


How long was he there?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 July, 2014, 01:29:19 pm
Not sure if Upminster counts as the provinces (it is inside the M25), but someone there seems to think it's appropriate to fly-tip a horse:

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/Horse-broken-leg-dumped-flytipping-hotspot/story-21644443-detail/story.html

WTF?   >:(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 16 July, 2014, 01:49:35 pm
Not sure if Upminster counts as the provinces (it is inside the M25), but someone there seems to think it's appropriate to fly-tip a horse:

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/Horse-broken-leg-dumped-flytipping-hotspot/story-21644443-detail/story.html

WTF?   >:(

I saw that. It sounds really nasty.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 16 July, 2014, 01:49:50 pm
Milky Bar penis. (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Milky-Bar-penis-similarity-stuns-lawyer/story-21644553-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 July, 2014, 02:02:16 pm
Made by one of Basil's mates?

The really dodgy thing is a 31-year old eating a Milky Bar!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 16 July, 2014, 02:21:35 pm
"Eagle-eyed Robin Jacobs, 31, noticed the similarity before chowing down onto the bar."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on 21 July, 2014, 12:25:30 pm
'The education lawyer said: "It was a little bit surprising, I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before - that's for sure."'

That's what Michael Gove has done for us!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 22 July, 2014, 11:33:00 pm
'The education lawyer said: "It was a little bit surprising, I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before - that's for sure."'

That's what Michael Gove has done for us!

I would imagine what happened was that someone instructed that a picture of Michael Gove be printed on the chocolate bar and someone else made a perfectly understandable mistake.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 23 July, 2014, 03:00:02 pm
Rabbit found in postbox
http://www.rotherhamadvertiser.co.uk/news/96551/rspca-condemns-rabbit-postbox-prank.aspx
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 July, 2014, 11:44:01 pm
Beware the melonbomb
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11364363.Fruity_romantic_sparks_police_scare/?ref=var_0 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11364363.Fruity_romantic_sparks_police_scare/?ref=var_0)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 25 July, 2014, 12:26:42 pm
Feral cat sneaks into house, fights back when approached.

http://www.kentonline.co.uk/canterbury/news/devil-cats-rampage-ends-thanks-19608/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on 25 July, 2014, 01:16:20 pm
Are we sure this isn't Ham's new cat?

(Why do I read kentonline as ketomin?)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 July, 2014, 09:00:55 pm
Yes, it's the most YACF local news story ever.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11367749.Police_warning_after_cyclist_is_attacked_by_badger/

The comments are what you'd expect...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 26 July, 2014, 11:48:03 pm
The comments are definitely a cut above the normal stuff.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 July, 2014, 08:49:06 am
(http://www.moretvicar.com/media/product/2014/06/03/1535_4687_w300.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 29 July, 2014, 12:01:20 am
Dog eats retired publican's watch

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-28532283
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on 01 August, 2014, 11:16:15 pm
That's enough to traumatise any dog.

And finally, dog traumatised (http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/11374435.Dog__lsquo_traumatised_rsquo__after_thieves_break_into_farm/?ref=mry).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 02 August, 2014, 09:31:05 am
Jedi light sabres in Bristol.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-28610691

mind you, this could be in the grammar thread.

Quote
Suspected human body parts have been found at a recycling plant in Bristol.

The force was called to the Biffa depot in Avonmouth at approximately 11:00 BST after being alerted by staff.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 02 August, 2014, 10:58:34 am
Jedi light sabres in Bristol.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-28610691

mind you, this could be in the grammar thread.

Quote
Suspected human body parts have been found at a recycling plant in Bristol.

The force was called to the Biffa depot in Avonmouth at approximately 11:00 BST after being alerted by staff.

I was just going to post almost exactly the same  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 06 August, 2014, 02:56:57 pm
Suspected burglar of bike shop & pursuing policeman both run over by police car: suspect killed, policeman taken to hospital.

http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/wokingham-road-reopened-after-fatal-7571401 (http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/wokingham-road-reopened-after-fatal-7571401)

It happened about 200 metres from here.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 06 August, 2014, 05:47:05 pm
Suspected burglar of bike shop & pursuing policeman both run over by police car: suspect killed, policeman taken to hospital.

http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/wokingham-road-reopened-after-fatal-7571401 (http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/wokingham-road-reopened-after-fatal-7571401)

It happened about 200 metres from here.

I used to live over the sewing machine shop (Sew Divine) next door to that bike shop.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 06 August, 2014, 11:06:01 pm
Still there.

The poor bloke killed by the cop car may have been an innocent passer by.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 07 August, 2014, 09:52:41 am
Roswell Incident in Welwyn Garden City (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/roswell_incident_explanation_offered_over_ufo_sighting_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_3714497).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 07 August, 2014, 12:04:04 pm
The joys of country life..

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-28541690
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 07 August, 2014, 12:07:26 pm
From one of the supporting docs:

Quote
When sewage sludge passes from one person to another the Environmental Protection (Duty of Care) Regulations apply.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 08 August, 2014, 10:05:03 am
Burgler caught wearing victims underwear

http://www.leaderlive.co.uk/news/136562/deeside-burglar-caught-in-victim-s-underwear.aspx (http://www.leaderlive.co.uk/news/136562/deeside-burglar-caught-in-victim-s-underwear.aspx)

Well it is Wales

Sits back and waits for the first joke about sheep
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on 08 August, 2014, 10:14:43 am
Woolly thermals for shear warmth?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 14 August, 2014, 03:26:44 pm
A phallic map of Berko...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-28783990
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 14 August, 2014, 11:09:58 pm
Nobody tested in Lincolnshire for deadly virus (http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/Ebola-outbreak-tested-Lincolnshire-deadly-virus/story-22300278-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 15 August, 2014, 12:38:59 am
 :thumbsup: ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 15 August, 2014, 08:19:47 pm
Lol
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 15 August, 2014, 11:18:15 pm
That's a great relief. My parents lived in Lincolnshire about 18 years ago and I've been worrying about them recently. 

Of course, we do have an Ebola epidemic at an asylum seekers' detention centre but the government is keeping that quiet in case the editor of the Daily Express has a heart attack in excitement
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 15 August, 2014, 11:36:42 pm
A spokesman for gibbons said he was glad that no gibbons were involved.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 02 September, 2014, 05:45:55 pm
Shap man admits cake theft (http://)
Quote
A man from Shap in Cumbria has pleaded guilty to the theft of chocolate, crisps and a cake valued at £4.79 from a shop at Centre Parcs holiday village near Penrith.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 17 September, 2014, 12:13:04 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11476405.Frustrated_baker_in_court_for_headbutting_faulty_sausage_roll_machine/?ref=var_0

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 September, 2014, 12:54:28 pm
Nobody tested in Lincolnshire for deadly virus (http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/Ebola-outbreak-tested-Lincolnshire-deadly-virus/story-22300278-detail/story.html)
Absolute classic!  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 17 September, 2014, 05:21:53 pm
No link, unfortunately, because there's nothing in the online version about it and I didn't buy the paper, but yesterday's billboard headline was

CYCLE SMASH CAUSES CHAOS

I wouldn't mind betting that any chaos that was caused was not as a result of a cycle being involved, but a motor vehicle of some sort. If it's just bikes and people, clearing it away afterwards isn't usually that much of a problem.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 19 September, 2014, 01:01:15 pm
http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/11467269.Mysterious_trail_of_sandwiches_found_in_Brockley/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 September, 2014, 07:27:59 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11485751.Man_queues_for_44_hours_for_iphone_to_win_back_wife/#commentsList

What a muppet.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 20 September, 2014, 03:20:23 pm
http://www.midweekherald.co.uk/news/brothel_bus_prostitutes_determined_to_visit_east_devon_1_892673

Quote
Mobile hookers Roxy, 25, and friend Ronnie, 27, say Sidmouth’s elderly population won’t deter their self-styled ‘passion wagon’ from dropping in on the Regency seaside resort as they embark on a road-trip across the South West.

Astonished residents this week said ‘no thanks’ to the saucy duo and warned: “There’ll be uproar over this. People will be livid.”

The pair offer spanking, threesomes, humiliation and exhibitionism from their ‘service station with a difference’- a white camper van.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tewdric on 21 September, 2014, 07:36:35 am
"If prostitutes hit the streets of Sidmouth at night, I think they’ll find people are tucked up in bed with a cup of cocoa.”

 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 22 September, 2014, 08:59:11 am
A Cumbrian man has once again proved himself to be unbeatable when it comes to pulling faces.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-29301914
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 24 September, 2014, 02:08:38 pm
Hoots mon! (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-29342106)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 27 September, 2014, 08:59:08 pm
Who new that farriers had to be registered.
http://www.gazetteherald.co.uk/news/11498064.Illegal_farrier_fined/?ref=mr
I love The Gazette, it's the only actual physical paper I get every week.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: David Martin on 27 September, 2014, 11:27:02 pm
I didn't realise that it doesn't cover NI and until recently didn't include the islands of Scotland
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 28 September, 2014, 06:38:26 pm
Who new that farriers had to be registered.
http://www.gazetteherald.co.uk/news/11498064.Illegal_farrier_fined/?ref=mr
I love The Gazette, it's the only actual physical paper I get every week.

Farriers are actually one of the oldest registered professions in the UK - and the smallest.  The Farriers Registration Council used to meet at our offices.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 29 September, 2014, 12:21:51 pm
Poo-dunnit - police release picture after number two is found on bus seat (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11499577.Poo_dunnit___police_release_picture_after_number_two_is_found_on_bus_seat/?ref=mr)

No, not those kind of pictures.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 02 October, 2014, 07:41:26 pm
Hapless thief tries to steal from car parked outside training course for BOUNCERS (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/watch-hapless-thief-tries-steal-7870303)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 02 October, 2014, 08:45:59 pm
Nice quote from Wiltshire's finest here:

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11509319.Pensioner_mistakenly_sent_cannabis_package/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 02 October, 2014, 08:51:06 pm
They eat horses, don't they?  exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Petition-launched-eating-Dartmoor-pony-meat (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Petition-launched-eating-Dartmoor-pony-meat/story-23019831-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 02 October, 2014, 10:35:44 pm
Hapless thief tries to steal from car parked outside training course for BOUNCERS (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/watch-hapless-thief-tries-steal-7870303)

Note that the thief is described as 'dim witted' but no comment is made on the wits of the person who left a satnav in view in an unlocked car...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 02 October, 2014, 10:37:01 pm
Hapless thief tries to steal from car parked outside training course for BOUNCERS (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/watch-hapless-thief-tries-steal-7870303)

Note that the thief is described as 'dim witted' but no comment is made on the wits of the person who left a satnav in view in an unlocked car...

Other than the stereotype connected with the uppercase word in the headline...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 October, 2014, 07:13:11 am
Regardless of whether the car is locked or the item is on display, it is still attempted theft.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on 03 October, 2014, 08:59:51 pm
Regardless of whether the car is locked or the item is on display, it is still attempted theft.

It is, and I don't deny the criminality or IQ of the thief. But leaving a car unlocked and a Satnav on show isn't a bright move, that's all.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 05 October, 2014, 05:11:27 pm
www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-29476363
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 05 October, 2014, 05:40:14 pm
Exactly a year on from my last post on this topic, we have it again:

An Aberdeen doctor has hailed his stirring spurtle after being crowned the 21st World Porridge Making Champion in the Highlands.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-29496804


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 October, 2014, 08:12:54 pm
D-lister with atrocious taste in women visits Swindon.  The comments under the story are, as usual, cutting.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11515546.GALLERY__Peter_Andre_fans_queue_around_the_block_to_meet_their_idol_in_Swindon/#commentsList
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 16 October, 2014, 08:03:33 pm
Escaped crocodile was inflatable toy (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-29634122)
Quote
"Police officers attended and bravely investigated. The beast turned out to be an inflatable toy crocodile. Police have apprehended the crocodile."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 16 October, 2014, 08:16:07 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-29649603

Texts from the beyond
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 16 October, 2014, 09:31:29 pm
Beyond 6 months.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 16 October, 2014, 10:27:41 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-29640363
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 October, 2014, 10:42:01 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-29640363

Yeah, but was the bike okay?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tewdric on 01 November, 2014, 10:45:25 pm
Almost anything from the South Wales Evening Post would be eligible for inclusion here but more than three cars in a queue qualifies as news in Swansea..

http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/TRAVEL-NEWS-Congestion-Fabian-Way-Swansea/story-23888712-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 04 November, 2014, 08:53:44 pm
Young-girl-catches-Tigger-having-sex-Dawlish-town (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Young-girl-catches-Tigger-having-sex-Dawlish-town/story-23810977-detail/story.html)

I can't take credit for finding this one.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 09 November, 2014, 06:23:38 pm
Invocations of 1963 and 1987.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11585886.Brace_yourselves_for_icy_gales_and_snow/?ref=mr

No,we don't usually get much snow in SE Essex.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 10 November, 2014, 11:15:23 am
Invocations of 1963 and 1987.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11585886.Brace_yourselves_for_icy_gales_and_snow/?ref=mr

No,we don't usually get much snow in SE Essex.

Exacta weather who are quoted in that article have form for producing apocalyptic weather headlines for struggling newspaper editors (often the Daily Express). If this one is right expect that fact to be loudly trumpeted. It will probably be wrong and in 6 months time the Met office will be blamed for it.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/paulhudson/posts/whats-behind-the-coldest-winte (http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/paulhudson/posts/whats-behind-the-coldest-winte)

That's just one critical article of the many you'll find by googling them.

In the meantime from my own analysis of many years weather patterns - in the next six months the average temp will be lower than the previous six monthly period. Some areas of the UK will experience frost, fog and or snow. Strong winds will blow occasionally and most areas can expect some rainfall.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 17 November, 2014, 09:19:05 am
Saucy!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 17 November, 2014, 01:05:43 pm
Drug dealer found with crack in his buttocks


http://www.gloucestershireecho.co.uk/Cheltenham-drug-dealer-Edward-Crowe-dubbed/story-24542094-detail/story.html (http://www.gloucestershireecho.co.uk/Cheltenham-drug-dealer-Edward-Crowe-dubbed/story-24542094-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 18 November, 2014, 06:51:36 pm
Hotel 'fines' those who post bad reviews.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 18 November, 2014, 11:00:33 pm
Hotel 'fines' those who post bad reviews.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973)

Are Trip Advisor as rigorous as the Mega-Global Walled Garden Corporation of Menlo Park, USAnia when it comes to a "real names only" policy, then?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 19 November, 2014, 12:14:38 am
Hotel 'fines' those who post bad reviews.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973)

Are Trip Advisor as rigorous as the Mega-Global Walled Garden Corporation of Menlo Park, USAnia when it comes to a "real names only" policy, then?

I don't know. Couple concerned don't appear to want anonymity...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 19 November, 2014, 08:10:11 am
http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/11606963.Horse_pulled_from_cattle_grid_after_getting_leg_stuck/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 21 November, 2014, 02:58:49 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-30141111 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-30141111)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 21 November, 2014, 04:37:16 pm
Bloody thoughtful students.

Quote
POLICE had to shut down an S&M and M&S-themed fancy dress party after finding 250 students dressed in bondage and grandpa outfits.

http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11618571.Police_shut_down_students____2_500_S_M___M_S_party_after_complaint_from_neighbour/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 21 November, 2014, 05:30:47 pm
That looks like Fern Avenue.

Where I used to live.  ;D

Wasn't full of well-to-do studebts then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 22 November, 2014, 04:13:57 pm
That looks like Fern Avenue.

Where I used to live.  ;D

Wasn't full of well-to-do studebts then.

Everything else was the same, though, right? ;)

And just to show the Echo does proper hard-hitting news as well:

http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11620159.Pond_row_settled_as_ducks_move_to_new_home/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on 01 December, 2014, 01:57:33 pm
Man injured by pop-up toilet (http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-30254888)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 06 December, 2014, 10:10:46 am
A new marque of car is crashed.
http://www.thisiswiltshire.co.uk/news/11648325.Crash_closes_road_to_Devizes_for_six_hours/?ref=mry

Quote
Police were called at about 6.15pm after the collision between an Aldi A4 and a Mercedes C200 Kompressor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 December, 2014, 12:06:13 pm
An Aldi A4 ought to be motoring journoese for a Skoda Octavia.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 06 December, 2014, 01:24:22 pm
Email reaches Swansea:

https://twitter.com/MerielMyers/status/540579233601683456
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 December, 2014, 07:10:59 pm
I think this is how they reproduce...

Rail replacement bus causes Wirral services to be suspended - after ripping its roof off on a rail bridge (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/rail-replacement-bus-causes-wirral-8238825)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 December, 2014, 08:37:37 pm
That's what the first verse of HMHB's "National Shite Day" (https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CDsQFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chrisrand.com%2Fhmhb%2Fcsi-ambleside%2Fnational-shite-day%2F&ei=32iDVOLlIsPmUpi3gOgP&usg=AFQjCNEDP2DQJSe953wuJ566yl4OtDad9Q&sig2=RiMVCbg57FvX1nz5xBb9Gw&bvm=bv.80642063,d.d24) is about.  Sort of.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 15 December, 2014, 06:48:20 pm
http://www.cumbriacrack.com/2014/12/15/traffic-warden-attacked-water-pistol/

(and no he isn't a relative)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 16 December, 2014, 11:58:22 am
A compendium of this years must read stories

http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/racist-swans-attack-students (http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/racist-swans-attack-students)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 18 December, 2014, 07:41:57 am
Phew!

(http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/B4_e-25CQAA0lLc.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 24 December, 2014, 02:51:27 pm
Grasmere had an 'earthquake' this morning

http://www.cumbriacrack.com/2014/12/24/earthquake-confirmed-grasmere/
Quote
The quake occurred at 8:21am with a magnitude of 2, at a depth of 13km

:facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 26 December, 2014, 11:30:33 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-30603434 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-30603434)

Sun shining through snow globe ignites fake reindeer food in Bournemouth.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on 28 December, 2014, 09:25:16 pm
Cardboard Ed Miliband taken hostage. (http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/11685621.Farce_at_County_Hall_as_cardboard_cut_out_of_Ed_Miliband_is__taken_hostage_/)

I fear that this conflict will only escalate until they can determine whether their particular cardboard Ed Miliband is the real one.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 December, 2014, 09:28:29 pm
Sun shining through snow globe ignites fake reindeer food in Bournemouth.

To be fair, that's a rare but under-appreciated fire risk that could do with more publicity.  See also: magnifying mirrors and other household optical devices that really shouldn't be left on windowsills (or where they might focus the sun's rays on a cardboard Ed Milliband).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 28 December, 2014, 09:56:01 pm
Sun shining through snow globe ignites fake reindeer food in Bournemouth.

To be fair, that's a rare but under-appreciated fire risk that could do with more publicity.  See also: magnifying mirrors and other household optical devices that really shouldn't be left on windowsills (or where they might focus the sun's rays on a cardboard Ed Milliband).

Indeed, but fake reindeer food...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 28 December, 2014, 09:57:43 pm
Sun shining through snow globe ignites fake reindeer food in Bournemouth.

To be fair, that's a rare but under-appreciated fire risk that could do with more publicity.  See also: magnifying mirrors and other household optical devices that really shouldn't be left on windowsills (or where they might focus the sun's rays on a cardboard Ed Milliband).

Indeed, but fake reindeer food...

I know. Why do fake reindeer need food? :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 29 December, 2014, 02:13:46 pm
Phew!

(http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/B4_e-25CQAA0lLc.jpg)

 :thumbsup:

(if this thread was a competition ...)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 30 December, 2014, 03:11:52 pm
There was excitement in Hinkley (https://twitter.com/sanglesey/status/549924139667320833?s=09) earlier this year.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 January, 2015, 12:10:01 am
Revellers re-model Camden's Primrose Hill to look more like Birmingham's (http://www.camdennewjournal.com/Primrose-Hill-wrecked)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 08 January, 2015, 01:14:11 am
Revellers re-model Camden's Primrose Hill to look more like Birmingham's (http://www.camdennewjournal.com/Primrose-Hill-wrecked)

Partner went there and returned pissed off and, unlike many, not pissed.
He had a horrible time and told me all about it.
Many times.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 09 January, 2015, 06:39:30 pm
Bus without amusing graphic in route sign taken out of service after window broken by tree. (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/ashford/news/no-devils-luck-for-the-6281/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 12 January, 2015, 04:36:14 pm
Police hope fried egg will solve shed break-in mystery (http://www.itv.com/news/2015-01-12/police-hope-fried-egg-will-solve-shed-break-in-mystery/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 12 January, 2015, 04:58:26 pm
Alimentary my dear Watson!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 January, 2015, 08:07:41 pm
Wheelie bin not given parking ticket in Carmarthen (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-30913291)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 22 January, 2015, 12:53:42 pm
Dead mouse in popping corn.

Supermarket in story is the closest to my abode (but I eschew Tesco for Sainsbury's. I have my standards...)

http://www.london24.com/news/quirky-london/eurgh_dead_mouse_found_in_bag_of_tesco_popcorn_1_3926136 (http://www.london24.com/news/quirky-london/eurgh_dead_mouse_found_in_bag_of_tesco_popcorn_1_3926136)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 23 January, 2015, 12:03:29 pm
I found ET in my garden fence....

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/ve-ET-garden-fence-Comberton-picture-gallery/story-25907920-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 23 January, 2015, 01:27:36 pm
Taking recycling to anew level...

http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/crime/flytipper-thought-farm-animals-would-eat-waste-1-6539340
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 23 January, 2015, 02:27:39 pm
Goats eat anything.

Occasionally unwisely.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 26 January, 2015, 03:55:32 pm
I didn't see this cos it was the day I went on holibobs:

Quote
Shefford cafe's singing polar bear probed over noise
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-30475642 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-30475642)

But it's all turned out right in the end...
Quote
Shefford cafe's singing polar bear 'not gagged' after probe
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-30932975 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-30932975)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on 26 January, 2015, 04:19:07 pm
Goats eat anything.

Occasionally unwisely.

I have it on good authority that this is an old wive's tale.

They are actually quite picky about what they eat...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 January, 2015, 04:22:15 pm
Goats eat anything.

Occasionally unwisely.

I have it on good authority that this is an old wive's tale.

They are actually quite picky about what they eat...
They eat anything. They eat your clothing if you stand still for too long, they eat almost any vegetation. They also have a digestion that can cope.

There are companies in the USA making use of this to eliminate invasive species, nice vid about it on bbc last week.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 26 January, 2015, 04:32:34 pm
Goats eat anything.

Occasionally unwisely.

I have it on good authority that this is an old wive's tale.

They are actually quite picky about what they eat...
They eat anything. They eat your clothing if you stand still for too long, they eat almost any vegetation. They also have a digestion that can cope.

There are companies in the USA making use of this to eliminate invasive species, nice vid about it on bbc last week.
[/quote
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 26 January, 2015, 04:41:37 pm
Goats eat anything.

Occasionally unwisely.

I have it on good authority that this is an old wive's tale.

They are actually quite picky about what they eat...
They eat anything. They eat your clothing if you stand still for too long, they eat almost any vegetation. They also have a digestion that can cope.

There are companies in the USA making use of this to eliminate invasive species, nice vid about it on bbc last week.



Sorry about that.

Mr Charly is correct about the bastards eating clothing, but not the standing still bit. I used to live near a family that seemed to belong in Transylvania rather than Gwynedd. They kept goats, which they used to take for walks in the afternoons; the flock would spread out across the road. This was bad enough, leading to scary moments on skis and bike when returning to the village. On the worst occasion I was walking and couldn't easily get through; one of the stinky bastards grabbed the crotch of my trousers and started chewing. Has anyone tried yo wrestle a goat? They're strong buggers. Fortunately one of the alleged goatherds set about it with a big stick... Eventually, it let go.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 27 January, 2015, 09:06:22 am
Goatse in Gwynnedd?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 27 January, 2015, 10:09:04 pm
I'm posting this link twice, it's so good.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11739248.Takeaway_roasted_after_putting__Aborigines__on_veggie_pizza/?ref=ar

 ;D ;D ;D

Also in Spelling that Makes You Cringe".

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 28 January, 2015, 06:23:28 pm
http://www.itv.com/news/border/story/2015-01-28/the-printer-powered-by-peddling-pupils/

Peddling what you might wonder :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on 28 January, 2015, 06:38:55 pm
Peddling children by the looks of it.    :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on 28 January, 2015, 06:44:26 pm
Peddling children by the looks of it.    :o

Well, if you can't send them down the mines or up chimneys anymore...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 28 January, 2015, 07:12:10 pm
Peddling children by the looks of it.    :o

Well, if you can't send them down the mines or up chimneys anymore...
Woah - lets put the breaks on that idea right now.   :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 29 January, 2015, 05:30:40 pm
Reality hits Painswick (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/11758398.Shoppers_get_their_knickers_in_a_twist_over__lingerie_shop__in_Painswick/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 03 February, 2015, 08:15:32 am
Loo door blew off in Silverdale (http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/11762170.Ladies__loo_door_blew_off_in_Silverdale/?ref=mr).  That's it, no more details or further explanation, sadly
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 February, 2015, 02:53:24 pm
Traffic misery for Birmingham commuters with gridlock hitting rush-hour routes (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/traffic-misery-birmingham-commuters-gridlock-8577011)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 04 February, 2015, 03:13:03 pm
http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/crime/burglars-steal-six-cans-of-coke-from-home-1-6545472

http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/more-news/serial-time-waster-breaks-asbo-1-6546564
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 04 February, 2015, 03:48:15 pm
Traffic misery for Birmingham commuters with gridlock hitting rush-hour routes (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/traffic-misery-birmingham-commuters-gridlock-8577011)

Particularly helpful picture captioned "Traffic queueing in Birmingham" to help those of us that were wondering what queueing traffic looks like.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 February, 2015, 04:22:52 pm
Traffic misery for Birmingham commuters with gridlock hitting rush-hour routes (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/traffic-misery-birmingham-commuters-gridlock-8577011)

Particularly helpful picture captioned "Traffic queueing in Birmingham" to help those of us that were wondering what queueing traffic looks like.

It looks a lot like Birmingham.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: davelodwig on 05 February, 2015, 10:37:51 am
Traffic misery for Birmingham commuters with gridlock hitting rush-hour routes (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/traffic-misery-birmingham-commuters-gridlock-8577011)

Particularly helpful picture captioned "Traffic queueing in Birmingham" to help those of us that were wondering what queueing traffic looks like.

It looks a lot like Birmingham.

That bit always looks like that, as its used by people who don't understand indicating and getting in lane.

D.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 05 February, 2015, 10:39:33 am
You mean it's used by drivers? :P
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 12 February, 2015, 05:11:20 pm
This story is newsworthy.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-31439736 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-31439736)
'Man takes shower naked' is not.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 February, 2015, 06:35:39 pm
For every simple problem there's a solution that's clear, complex and wrong:  http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/tiny-pony-gets-periscope-help-8701564
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 24 February, 2015, 07:37:38 pm
A notification from facebook: Apparently 'trending' is a story from Wigan.

"Man who had sex with a postbox is found dead. Paul Bennett was found guilty of the lewd act last month"

You couldn't make it up . . . (http://metro.co.uk/2015/02/24/man-who-had-sex-with-a-postbox-is-found-dead-behind-a-chinese-restaurant-5077200/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 24 February, 2015, 07:57:13 pm
Meanwhile, in more mundane news:-
Quote
A spokesperson for the fire and rescue  said: "One appliance from Honiton was mobilised to assist with scene safety at a road traffic collision involving one vehicle and a wall."
No-one was hurt.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 February, 2015, 03:58:12 pm
For every simple problem there's a solution that's clear, complex and wrong:  http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/tiny-pony-gets-periscope-help-8701564
Quote
But there are big plans on the horizon for vertically-challenged Pedro, as the Ebony Horse Club is eventually saving up to transport him to a specially adapted stable.
Rather than just cutting the door down?
And I wonder how the pony copes with finding that all the tiny people he sees in the green box are actually normal humans? It must upset his equilibrium.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 February, 2015, 11:56:33 am
For every simple problem there's a solution that's clear, complex and wrong:  http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/tiny-pony-gets-periscope-help-8701564
Quote
But there are big plans on the horizon for vertically-challenged Pedro, as the Ebony Horse Club is eventually saving up to transport him to a specially adapted stable.
Rather than just cutting the door down?
And I wonder how the pony copes with finding that all the tiny people he sees in the green box are actually normal humans? It must upset his equilibrium.
Cutting the door down would be hard - but it would be pretty easy to put a mesh panel in there. why did producing a rectangular box require a 3D printer? What's wrong with 4 bits of ply?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 February, 2015, 01:51:35 pm
why did producing a rectangular box require a 3D printer? What's wrong with 4 bits of ply?

Fairly sure it didn't.  The company do 3D printing, but they also do CNC cutting of sheet materials and stuff - their main business is shop displays.  But "3D printing" is a buzzword so presumably the reporter latched onto it.

I dread to think how long it would take to 3D print something that size.  The periscope, I mean, not the pony.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 February, 2015, 10:39:18 am
Why would it be so difficult to cut down a wooden door? Or perhaps better, replace it with a smaller one?

I'm wondering now if the prisms in the periscope are equilateral.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 27 February, 2015, 10:58:48 am
Why would it be so difficult to cut down a wooden door? Or perhaps better, replace it with a smaller one?

I'm wondering now if the prisms in the periscope are equilateral.
Not a wooden door, it is a metal, pipe framed door with wooden slats.  Very easy to remove some slats and bolt/weld on some heavy mesh.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 27 February, 2015, 11:03:29 am
Wouldn't that let the draught in?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 27 February, 2015, 11:06:42 am
no, draught horses need much bigger doors
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 February, 2015, 11:30:14 am
No, draught horses don't need Dawes, they need Holdsworth.
(http://velobase.com/VeloImages/Headbadges/4294569E-4281-4A84-99EE-039554D1737D.jpeg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 February, 2015, 11:32:08 am
Ok, so it's not quite a draught horse. Actually, it looks a bit like a stripeless zebra with that mane.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 February, 2015, 12:04:39 pm
It's a disabled unicorn.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 February, 2015, 01:05:39 pm
It's an Islahorse.  Cnoc, by the look of it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 03 March, 2015, 08:15:34 pm
(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-tl3QN6a9UPY/VPYWBtl4QFI/AAAAAAAAIp4/wsa1_0L4cMw/s512/GiantLamb.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 March, 2015, 08:22:39 pm
http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2015/03/05/traffic-fear-over-walking-pizza-ads-in-telford/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 March, 2015, 08:53:42 pm
(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/640x360/p01hxp08.jpg)

?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 07 March, 2015, 09:43:28 pm
There was a fleeting billboard during the past week for the Southend Echo:

FOOD BANK RUNS OUT OF FOOD.

 :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 07 March, 2015, 10:03:21 pm
(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/640x360/p01hxp08.jpg)

?
I say, get a move on, chop chop
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 13 March, 2015, 10:23:32 am
Builders don't know which way round to mark up a clock face.

http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/news/comic-relief-day-calamity-chesters-8831848 (http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/news/comic-relief-day-calamity-chesters-8831848)

To be fair I walked passed it yesterday without noticing (I didn't consciously look at it)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 13 March, 2015, 11:17:48 am
Billboard of the Blackmore Gazette last Monday:

"MISSING CAT RETURNS HOME AFTER 126 DAYS!"

Sadly, I didn't notice when I was in Blackmore a month ago whether the headline said "CAT MISSING FOR 98 DAYS AND COUNTING!"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 March, 2015, 08:49:59 pm
The photo shows the shocking extent of football hooliganism after the Highworth Town/Tadcaster Albion game, with literally tens of fans involved.

http://www.harrogateadvertiser.co.uk/news/crime/punches-thrown-as-violence-mars-tadcaster-albion-s-fa-vase-exit-1-7145088
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 22 March, 2015, 12:32:14 pm
By contrast, football hooliganism and associated violence have closed the road outside our house for a significant police operation. I reckon someone must have died for that sort of investigation. Fortunately Mrs. Wow and I are in Powys. Dez reported back. Our house is in one of the BBC pictures.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-32006464 refers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 22 March, 2015, 03:48:34 pm
That's good to see your local is a proper English pub, Wow.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 26 March, 2015, 12:35:20 pm
http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Jeremy-Clarkson-fired-just-years-aftyer-Gear/story-26230188-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 March, 2015, 12:40:58 pm
http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Jeremy-Clarkson-fired-just-years-aftyer-Gear/story-26230188-detail/story.html
And it turns out they were spoofing local newspapers
http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Clarkson-Cheddar-got-joke-didn-t/story-26236516-detail/story.html (http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Clarkson-Cheddar-got-joke-didn-t/story-26236516-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 26 March, 2015, 01:49:48 pm
I was more interested in this one...
http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Rare-stripeless-badger-bite-bum-toilet/story-26222386-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 26 March, 2015, 02:00:49 pm
That's good to see your local is a proper English pub, Wow.
But, in typical pub-business fashion, a pub at the far end of what appears to be the London Tilbury & Southend Railway (bought out by the Midland, later grouped into the LMS) has a sign depicting a GWR loco  ::-):facepalm:

I am *not* an anorak, I tell you
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 March, 2015, 02:05:00 pm
I was more interested in this one...
http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Rare-stripeless-badger-bite-bum-toilet/story-26222386-detail/story.html

Are they sure that's not a womble?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Dibdib on 28 March, 2015, 01:35:24 pm
From the Croydon Advertiser:

(click to show/hide)

(source (https://twitter.com/GoodNewsHackney/status/581793030572769280))
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 March, 2015, 09:03:08 pm
http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/11886912.Tea_towel_fire_in_Malvern/

Hopefully not a Marsh Gibbon one...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on 29 March, 2015, 08:42:00 am
Like the comments  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 09 April, 2015, 08:07:19 am
I get a daily email from Harrow Times, giving the local headlines.
This murder http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32224295 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32224295) occurred just over two miles south of where I am sitting.http://goo.gl/maps/3TWcw (http://goo.gl/maps/3TWcw)
There is no mention of this event.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PaulF on 15 April, 2015, 09:47:41 pm
From the Oxford Mail Arson Field Fire Could be Arson

http://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/12891833.Arson_field_fire_could_be_arson/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 20 April, 2015, 08:24:59 am
Womble destroyed by fire

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/12899584.Womble_destroyed_in_fire/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 20 April, 2015, 09:50:52 am
Child's dropped toy is found and returned.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-32371730 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-32371730)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 28 April, 2015, 12:15:40 pm
Warning rogue ice cream vans !

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/12917692.Warning__Bogus_ice_cream_vans_reported_near_schools_and_beaches/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 28 April, 2015, 12:22:40 pm
That's good to see your local is a proper English pub, Wow.
But, in typical pub-business fashion, a pub at the far end of what appears to be the London Tilbury & Southend Railway (bought out by the Midland, later grouped into the LMS) has a sign depicting a GWR loco  ::-):facepalm:

I am *not* an anorak, I tell you

You are right, you are not an anorak. Our local station, Prittlewell, is not on the LTSR, which runs into Fenchurch Street from Southend Central, but on the Great Eastern line from Liverpool to Southend Victoria. Southend borough has no fewer than 9 main line railway stations and a 10th, Southend Airport, that was largely paid for by Southend Borough Council, despite it being outside the borough. People who fly into Southend and then leave by train almost invariably head towards London.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: David Martin on 28 April, 2015, 12:28:17 pm
Where do those who work at Southend airport live, and does the rail link improve the employment prospects therin due to an increase in passenger numbers?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 30 April, 2015, 10:40:37 am
Dry cleaner adopts partridge in That Larndonn.
http://www.camdennewjournal.com/partridge (http://www.camdennewjournal.com/partridge)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 April, 2015, 10:44:21 am
Womble destroyed by fire

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/12899584.Womble_destroyed_in_fire/?ref=mr
I'm glad it wasn't Arch!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 30 April, 2015, 12:34:12 pm
Another week of non-stop excitement in Kendal:

http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/12919818.Express_lanes_introduced_at_Kendal_supermarket

Morrisons are to introduce a 10 items or fewer queue..................

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 30 April, 2015, 05:46:18 pm
Another week of non-stop excitement in Kendal:

http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/12919818.Express_lanes_introduced_at_Kendal_supermarket

Morrisons are to introduce a 10 items or fewer queue..................


Ee, that's a good idea! It's a wonder that it hasn't been done before.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 03 May, 2015, 11:42:48 am
Dorset Loves Knobs!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-32549090 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-32549090)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 05 May, 2015, 02:26:04 pm
Whitby councillor stands down:

http://www.whitbygazette.co.uk/news/local/whitby-s-extraterrestrial-town-councillor-calls-it-a-day-1-7211759

Quote
Mr Parkes was elected to Whitby Town Council in 2012. He later hit the headlines when he claimed his mother was an alien and that he had experienced numerous extraterrestrial encounters, including one in which he lost his virginity to an alien at the age of just five.

Earlier this year he attracted national media attention once again when he claimed a race of alien reptiles called ‘the Nordics’ were to blame for the ongoing crisis in the Ukraine as they were advising Russian president Vladimir Putin on foreign policy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 May, 2015, 03:06:49 pm
The second paragraph is Clearly Bollocks.  The aliens in question are Reptilians, not Nordics, as any fule kno.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: marcusjb on 05 May, 2015, 03:25:52 pm
http://www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/12931611.Wind_damages__tourist_attraction__phone_box_in_Richmond/

This is the stuff that matters here in Richmond Upon Thames......
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 05 May, 2015, 03:35:36 pm
I think Cheltenham can trump that.

http://www.gloucestershireecho.co.uk/Strong-overnight-winds-damage-tree-Cheltenham/story-26441310-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 05 May, 2015, 03:36:03 pm
My alien mother is Danish. Does that make her a Nordic?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 06 May, 2015, 10:43:59 am
Only if she is a small Grey.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 07 May, 2015, 11:39:00 am
Whitehaven Pensioner Bitten in "Nasty" Goose Attack
 (http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/whitehaven-pensioner-bitten-in-nasty-goose-attack-1.1210283)
Quote
A 71-YEAR-OLD woman was bitten in a “nasty attack” by a goose on Whitehaven harbour.

Visitor Mary Jones sustained a bruise on the top of her thigh in the attack, says her friend Ru Lochlea.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 09 May, 2015, 02:42:58 pm
Exciting new shop opens (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/local_sponsored_content/12939663.An_exciting_new_shop_has_opened_in_York_city_centre/?ref=mr&lp=9)
I can barely contain my excitement ! It sells picture frames FFS.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 09 May, 2015, 03:31:23 pm
Exciting new shop opens (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/local_sponsored_content/12939663.An_exciting_new_shop_has_opened_in_York_city_centre/?ref=mr&lp=9)
I can barley contain my excitement ! It sells picture frames FFS.

To be fair they claim it's an "amazing range".

Of picture frames.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 10 May, 2015, 05:19:54 pm
and marching up to the top of the hill and marching back down again does become a bit boring......
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 12 May, 2015, 09:50:54 pm
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/12944601.Swarm_of_bees_cover_bike_in_Southend_town_centre/?ref=mr&lp=2

A better class of person just happens to turn up in Southend, obviously.  :P

Edit: I am remarkably angry having read the rest of that article and the btl comments. It seems some utter moron went into Sainsbury's for two tins of aerosol flyspray and killed the bees, a protected species. If I'd suspected anything like that was going to happen I would have gone and collected them myself.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 13 May, 2015, 08:23:42 am
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/12944601.Swarm_of_bees_cover_bike_in_Southend_town_centre/?ref=mr&lp=2

A better class of person just happens to turn up in Southend, obviously.  :P

Edit: I am remarkably angry having read the rest of that article and the btl comments. It seems some utter moron went into Sainsbury's for two tins of aerosol flyspray and killed the bees, a protected species. If I'd suspected anything like that was going to happen I would have gone and collected them myself.
the end of the article says
Quote
They were later gathered up and taken to Leigh by Ann Cushion of the Southend division of Essex Beekeepers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 15 May, 2015, 06:54:01 pm
Exciting new shop opens (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/local_sponsored_content/12939663.An_exciting_new_shop_has_opened_in_York_city_centre/?ref=mr&lp=9)
I can barley contain my excitement ! It sells picture frames FFS.

To be fair they claim it's an "amazing range".

Of picture frames.
and they offer a mount-cutting service! :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 15 May, 2015, 06:55:49 pm
Fine cyclists (for not using a cycle track) (http://www.oxfordtimes.co.uk/news/opinions/letters/12951106.Fine_cyclists/?ref=mr&lp=4)
Remarkably coherent (for a babbling idiot).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 15 May, 2015, 11:54:24 pm
More of the same, from Southend.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/12950785.Police_crackdown_on_cyclists__a_success_/?ref=mr&lp=19
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 21 May, 2015, 05:19:19 pm
Just had this Tweet from Brent Council:

Brent Council ‏@Brent_Council  1m1 minute ago
Due to an unexplored WW2 bomb Brent Civic Centre and surrounding buildings have been evacuated. Please avoid the area.

Not sure whether this should go here or on grammar/spelling that makes you cringe.

Amazed they can have a beumb inna brand new building that's been open only a couple of years!

Unexplored bomb...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 24 May, 2015, 11:38:48 am
Sex tape left on bus:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/12968595.Cheating_husband_leaves_mistress_sex_tape_on_North_Yorkshire_bus/

Oops.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 25 May, 2015, 12:46:43 am
Not the Brimstone!
http://www.westerngazette.co.uk/Keen-cyclists-descend-Somerton-Bank-Holiday/story-26563583-detail/story.html (http://www.westerngazette.co.uk/Keen-cyclists-descend-Somerton-Bank-Holiday/story-26563583-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 May, 2015, 08:25:34 pm
Filename tooltip causes multi-car crash and severe typo on the M2 (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/sittingbourne/sport/long-queues-building-after-m2-37473/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 May, 2015, 10:48:51 pm
Is "closude" some hateful neologism that needs its own thread or just a rather dull typo?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 27 May, 2015, 02:43:45 pm
Wanker in a BMW (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/12956756.Man_arrested_on_suspicion_of_masturbating_inside_a__car_in_Cirencester/?ref=mr&lp=5)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 28 May, 2015, 09:27:03 am
Wanker in a BMW (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/12956756.Man_arrested_on_suspicion_of_masturbating_inside_a__car_in_Cirencester/?ref=mr&lp=5)

It was not me.  I wasn't anywhere near Cirencester....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 29 May, 2015, 01:17:55 pm
Quote
9 bizarre World Records broken in Bedfordshire

http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/9-bizarre-World-Records-broken-Bedfordshire/story-26596620-detail/story.html (http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/9-bizarre-World-Records-broken-Bedfordshire/story-26596620-detail/story.html)

Well, 7, actually. Unless I've been wrong all these years and Silverstone really is in Beds ::-). And Number 9 has the most tenuous link to the county and shouldn't be included.

Number 2 certainly qualifies for Motorised Moron :o.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 29 May, 2015, 10:52:39 pm
Swindon...

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/12890701.Bassett_man_sent_video_of_himself_having_sex_with_dog_to_girlfriend__court_hears/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 30 May, 2015, 02:46:21 am
Not a Bassett Hound, it seems.

But, yeah, Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Salvatore on 30 May, 2015, 04:33:14 am
Unless I've been wrong all these years and Silverstone really is in Beds ::-).

I believe the county boundary passes through the motor-racing circuit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 30 May, 2015, 06:29:07 am
Swindon...

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/12890701.Bassett_man_sent_video_of_himself_having_sex_with_dog_to_girlfriend__court_hears/
Good headline (on the assumption its a man from Wooton Bassett, its quite witty!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 May, 2015, 10:48:48 am
Unless I've been wrong all these years and Silverstone really is in Beds ::-).

I believe the county boundary passes through the motor-racing circuit.

But the county boundary in those parts is the one separating Bucks and Northants.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 June, 2015, 02:23:03 pm
Quote
Police said cattle were not believed to be involved in this incident. So far this year, no collisions involving cattle have been reported.
http://www.stroudlife.co.uk/car-crash-busy-junction-near-Stroud/story-26598303-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 01 June, 2015, 02:33:33 pm
Sadly cows being killed on the Common is a too frequently reported story here.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 June, 2015, 09:35:44 am
There was a plan to put luminous collars on all the cows. That was back in the '80s.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 02 June, 2015, 10:08:18 am
"The black cow came from nowhere, it just jumped out at me" is a regular refrain from taxi drivers with crushed bonnets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 June, 2015, 10:14:17 am
Elephants (domesticated ones, in forestry, military and temples) walking along roads are a frequent casualty on India's roads. Dawn seems to be peak-elephant hitting time.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 02 June, 2015, 01:10:49 pm
Woman in Birmingham jailed after making 'loud sex noises' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-32961127)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 02 June, 2015, 01:15:56 pm
Yes, I had heard that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 02 June, 2015, 01:30:48 pm
Woman in Birmingham jailed after making 'loud sex noises' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-32961127)

The great thing about that one is the photo.  They obviously couldn't be arsed to do anything more complicated than gack an image from Streetview, but it gives an erroneous impression that Small Heath is all KFCs and queues for roundabouts.  I know for a fact that Small Heath also has a McDonald's.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 05 June, 2015, 02:53:30 pm
Wake me up before you go go (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/i-trying-wake-boyfriend-up-9397311)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: CAMRAMan on 05 June, 2015, 04:21:40 pm
Sadly not on the website, but a Kenilworth garage was burgled and they got away with the biscuit tin.  Mayhem.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 05 June, 2015, 06:42:44 pm
Wake me up before you go go (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/i-trying-wake-boyfriend-up-9397311)
Alarming
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 05 June, 2015, 06:50:08 pm
Sadly not on the website, but a Kenilworth garage was burgled and they got away with the biscuit tin.  Mayhem.

Crumbs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 05 June, 2015, 07:08:04 pm
That takes the biscuits.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 05 June, 2015, 07:56:05 pm
Sounds a bit jammy dodger.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 09 June, 2015, 10:10:33 am
Do you know any women wearing a blue rabbit onesie with Evelyn tattooed on their hand?

If so Preston police would like a chat

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/rabbit-onesie-minions-burglaries-hunt-9412281 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/rabbit-onesie-minions-burglaries-hunt-9412281)

"She is described as white, aged approximately mid 40’s with dyed red/ purplish coloured hair that was described as greasy.
She was wearing a blue rabbit onesie, a yellow Minions rucksack, a dark blue puffa jacket and she was carrying a black sleeping bag with her.
She appeared gaunt with scabs on her face and a tattoo along the side of her hand of the name ‘Evelyn’."

Should be one hell of an identity parade.

Also a desperate burglary

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/doner-meat-thieves-raid-wallasey-9414609 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/doner-meat-thieves-raid-wallasey-9414609)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 09 June, 2015, 11:16:25 am
Meat raffle in the pub down the road?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 12 June, 2015, 10:11:08 am
http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/more-news/shoppers-horror-as-still-pooping-dog-runs-amok-in-shopping-centre-1-6793800
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 13 June, 2015, 12:43:15 am
Aaah, the only newspaper which has ever put my photo on the front page.

Well, I say "my" photo, but there were quite a few others also in it, & although I was at the front, so were some of the others, & it was really just luck that I ended up near the middle, & I was only 12 . . . 






Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 June, 2015, 12:40:58 pm
(http://www.alfiecat.co.uk/yetacf/IMG_7106.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 13 June, 2015, 01:00:30 pm
Do you get different change with Old Money?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 June, 2015, 02:04:00 pm
St Matthew's Court is what used to be my primary school.
Fact, even if you didn't care!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 13 June, 2015, 02:42:09 pm
She would have been 103 on July 6, which year? 2023?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 13 June, 2015, 03:05:33 pm
Wake me up before you go go (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/i-trying-wake-boyfriend-up-9397311)

"Hospitality waitress" fnaar
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 15 June, 2015, 12:29:08 pm
In a more distant province I was browsing the local newspaper as I waited to fly home and

http://mwnation.com/man-wets-himself-at-bank/

the graphic goes on to explain, in case the headline left you with any doubts.

Mind you, if you've ever dealt with African bureaucracy, you'd sympathise.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 16 June, 2015, 05:37:13 pm
Sweets and knitted hats stolen from Canna's shop

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-33151886
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 18 June, 2015, 08:55:28 pm
Exeter woman claims to have built time machine in her garage and is searching Gumtree for a travel companion
 (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Exeter-woman-claims-built-time-machine-garage/story-26699707-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 18 June, 2015, 10:09:31 pm
She should just get in it, go forward a few years then see who is with her.

Then go back to now and find that person.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 June, 2015, 10:59:39 pm
Girl traps foot in toy robot in Oldbury (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-33185178)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jenhunt on 19 June, 2015, 09:43:05 am
not quite the provinces.. more like radio 2 yesterday.

apparently a tiger was shot dead AND Killed by marksmen after attacking a person....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 19 June, 2015, 11:01:53 am
Can't be too careful with these dangerous zoo animals ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 19 June, 2015, 07:25:14 pm
Exeter woman claims to have built time machine in her garage and is searching Gumtree for a travel companion
 (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Exeter-woman-claims-built-time-machine-garage/story-26699707-detail/story.html)
Isnt this the plot of a just-released movie?

[I'm serious BTW!]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on 23 June, 2015, 11:52:11 pm
Woman injured in supermarket basket collision (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/13348540.Woman_injured_in_supermarket_basket_collision/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 29 June, 2015, 01:06:05 pm
(http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-12/1/11/enhanced/webdr05/edit-8676-1417451902-28.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on 29 June, 2015, 03:12:13 pm
I think that wins the thread!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 03 July, 2015, 07:10:24 am

"A man who illegally sold tissues on a train appears in this week’s round-up from Aylesbury Magistrates’ Court.

MENIX SALI, 40, of Braemar Avenue, London. On April 28 in Aylesbury, while on a railway and without the written permission of the operator, sold tissues. Pleaded guilty. Fined £100, criminal courts charge £150, costs £85, victim surcharge £20."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 03 July, 2015, 12:37:56 pm
Victim surcharge? Was there a licensed tissue seller who was undercut or something?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 03 July, 2015, 01:24:07 pm
Victim surcharge? Was there a licensed tissue seller who was undercut or something?

Just "one of those things I think. Another case, where are guy caused an accident and killed his best mate who was in the back of his van. Mates wife pleads his case and ask's that he doesn't go to jail. Guy pleads guilty at first opportunity, is distraught over mates death. Gets sent on a "restoratative justice" course as part of his punishment. WTF?  :-\
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 July, 2015, 01:52:42 pm
Victim surcharge? Was there a licensed tissue seller who was undercut or something?

It's not case-sepcific, but a general tax on being a criminal that goes into a kitty that funds victim support organisations.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 03 July, 2015, 03:58:19 pm
Local Parish council decides to moan about Sportive - two months after the event ???
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/home/bad-behaviour-overshadows-cycling-event-1.1221205
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 July, 2015, 04:13:17 pm
They meet every two months.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 07 July, 2015, 03:54:18 pm
Bee Swarm on Locked Bicycle (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/bee_swarm_on_locked_bicycle_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_4133372)

I'm not sure why the lockedness of the bicycle was important.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 July, 2015, 09:36:35 pm
Video shows bus stop argument between motorist and bus driver after he blocks her in (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/video-shows-bus-stop-argument-9602461)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 08 July, 2015, 09:06:44 am
Video shows bus stop argument between motorist and bus driver after he blocks her in (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/video-shows-bus-stop-argument-9602461)
He wins the super twat thread as well. What an utter cock.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 08 July, 2015, 09:57:01 am
Bee Swarm on Locked Bicycle (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/bee_swarm_on_locked_bicycle_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_4133372)

I'm not sure why the lockedness of the bicycle was important.

It prevented the slightly more unusual "BEE SWARM CAUGHT STEALING BICYCLE" headline.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 July, 2015, 10:35:12 am
Bee Swarm on Locked Bicycle (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/bee_swarm_on_locked_bicycle_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_4133372)

I'm not sure why the lockedness of the bicycle was important.
OTP?  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 12 July, 2015, 07:58:41 am
Not so much the story itself ... (http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/cleveland-police-cordon-area-stockton-9577373)

As the quote, in full, from the 'bystander'.  I'm still chuckling.

Quote
A woman walking her dog in the area, who did not want to be named, said: “I don’t know what’s happened.

“The first I knew about it was when my son came home from college and asked ‘Have you been out with the dog yet?’ I said no not yet and he said it was all taped off by police.

“I had a look on Facebook and that but haven’t seen anything about it.”

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 13 July, 2015, 08:03:10 pm
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Mini-driver-smashes-fish-van-pleasuring-sex-toy/story-26891651-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 14 July, 2015, 11:50:02 am
Couple's suburban banananana plant does not die.
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13410099.Couple_go_bananas_after_discovering_tropical_fruit_growing_in_their_back_garden/?ref=eb (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13410099.Couple_go_bananas_after_discovering_tropical_fruit_growing_in_their_back_garden/?ref=eb)

The pedant in me disputes that this plant was 'discovered' by the couple.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on 14 July, 2015, 12:30:58 pm
Couple's suburban banananana plant does not die.
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13410099.Couple_go_bananas_after_discovering_tropical_fruit_growing_in_their_back_garden/?ref=eb (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13410099.Couple_go_bananas_after_discovering_tropical_fruit_growing_in_their_back_garden/?ref=eb)

The pedant in me disputes that this plant was 'discovered' by the couple.

I don't think it's the plant they "discovered" it's the fact it is bearing fruit...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 14 July, 2015, 01:02:27 pm
It's certainly a magnificent triffid!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 14 July, 2015, 01:06:04 pm
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Mini-driver-smashes-fish-van-pleasuring-sex-toy/story-26891651-detail/story.html

Glad to see that ended (relatively) well.

This one didn't:

http://www.crawleynews.co.uk/Driver-accused-causing-death-Lisa-Watling-crash/story-26893064-detail/story.html (http://www.crawleynews.co.uk/Driver-accused-causing-death-Lisa-Watling-crash/story-26893064-detail/story.html)
Quote
“He said on the return journey Miss Watling said she was feeling horny and started doing things she shouldn’t have been.

“He said she put her bottom on the dashboard and went to climb across him but stressed while he didn’t have a full view of the road that he was in control.

“He told police that he did not view her behaviour as being sexual in any way and that he did not engage with her.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: L CC on 14 July, 2015, 01:17:07 pm
Normal for Norfolk, alive and well.
 I couldn't knit a whole one, either (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-33468644)

I think we may have to visit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 14 July, 2015, 06:43:55 pm
How far is Cirencester from Swindon?
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/07/14/woman-masturbating-with-rampant-rabbit-vibrator-crashes-mini-cooper-stationary-fish-wagon_n_7790910.html?1436864202
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 14 July, 2015, 09:01:45 pm
No link, because the online version of our local rag hasn't published it, but the headline today is

Quote
MP: MOVE THE HOMELESS OFF OUR BEACH

That MP is the very unlovely James Duddridge. Since when the beach stopped being a public place I don't know.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 15 July, 2015, 11:51:54 am
Exciting sandals. (http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Mum-Sophie-Grantham-gets-surprise-addition-used/story-26905517-detail/story.html)

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 15 July, 2015, 01:00:40 pm
Exciting sandals. (http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Mum-Sophie-Grantham-gets-surprise-addition-used/story-26905517-detail/story.html)

(click to show/hide)
Quote
The mum-of-two has refused to touch the shoes or the five-inch purple Durex vibrator, because the kinky love instrument appeared to have been used.

So why does every picture show her holding the offending article?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tom_e on 15 July, 2015, 01:07:09 pm
Hey, we need a picture here - what's the story about?  Vibrator, woman.  Right, picture of vibrator and woman.  Hold on, we've got 30 words here, the readers may be struggling a bit, grab us another picture.  Vibrator, woman, picture of.  Right, where were we?  Oh yes, a few more words.  Hard work this.  Any chance of another picture, so the reader will follow the story?  Go on then: picture of vibrator and woman.  And we have a response from Amazon.  Pretty tedious, TBH.  Go on, give us a last picture of vibrator and woman to break that up.  Ta.  I'm wasted in this job.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 15 July, 2015, 01:48:30 pm
Also the paper only gave one side of the story.

Somewhere there is an Amazon packer missing a vibrator and a pubic hair.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 15 July, 2015, 02:15:33 pm
Exciting sandals. (http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Mum-Sophie-Grantham-gets-surprise-addition-used/story-26905517-detail/story.html)

(click to show/hide)
Quote
The mum-of-two has refused to touch the shoes or the five-inch purple Durex vibrator, because the kinky love instrument appeared to have been used.

So why does every picture show her holding the offending article?
While wearing rubber gloves.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on 15 July, 2015, 04:26:22 pm
I wish I could get batteries to last that long.

Did I just type that out loud?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: L CC on 17 July, 2015, 01:38:34 pm
And you thought they were a bit limited in Norfolk. Welcome to Suffolk (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/amateur-robbers-target-sperm-bank/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 17 July, 2015, 01:51:21 pm
And you thought they were a bit limited in Norfolk. Welcome to Suffolk (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/amateur-robbers-target-sperm-bank/)

Hmm

"Det Insp Hood said two men, aged 27 and 31, had been charged with attempted robbery and would appear before Ipswich magistrates in the morning. One was named locally last night as Jack Meoff."

The spirit of Viz is not dead, it seems.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tom_e on 17 July, 2015, 02:23:42 pm
You know, I'm not entirely sure that website is legit.  If this wasn't suspicious enough:

Police Apache helicopter blows up vicarage (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/police-apache-helicopter-blows-up-vicarage/)

then this one kind of gives away the game entirely:

Women secretly find cycling MAMILs sexy (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/sport/women-secretly-find-cycling-mamils-sexy/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 July, 2015, 02:24:54 pm
Sssh!  The people from Norfolk haven't cottoned on yet, and they might hear you.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: L CC on 17 July, 2015, 03:04:36 pm
You know, I'm not entirely sure that website is legit.  If this wasn't suspicious enough:

Police Apache helicopter blows up vicarage (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/police-apache-helicopter-blows-up-vicarage/)

then this one kind of gives away the game entirely:

Women secretly find cycling MAMILs sexy (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/sport/women-secretly-find-cycling-mamils-sexy/)

Next you'll be telling me this one isn't 'The Truth'
Keeping it 'Real' (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/farming/farmer-uses-sex-dolls-for-scarecrows/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 July, 2015, 08:16:51 pm
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 17 July, 2015, 08:22:30 pm
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)

Ignorance of SCIENCE at the most basic level is commonplace and worrisome.

HUGE sections of the public are totally clueless...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 18 July, 2015, 05:37:20 pm
Thatch roof blocks road. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-33559248 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-33559248)

Not really provinces but...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 18 July, 2015, 06:15:59 pm
Thats actually quite a good story!

Better still might be the one linked to further down:
"
Residents speak out against the effectiveness of Luton's sex
"

:O
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 21 July, 2015, 01:07:44 pm
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)
NO!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pancho on 28 July, 2015, 10:01:31 pm
Video: Red Arrows cancel Portsmouth flypast

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/video-red-arrows-cancel-portsmouth-flypast-1-6867561
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 29 July, 2015, 11:32:20 am
The Whitehaven news is obviously so short of material that they are doing missing cat appeals: -

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/family-plead-for-help-finding-missing-cat-1.1223135
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 July, 2015, 11:52:11 am
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)

Ignorance of SCIENCE at the most basic level is commonplace and worrisome.

HUGE sections of the public are totally clueless...
Ok, so for the benefit of those of us who are chemically ignorant, the gas they are (hopefully) using is presumably nitorous oxide, N2O, 'laughing gas' and 'cream supplies', rather than for instance nitrogen dioxide, NO2? Or is the point something else? Wiki describes both those and many others as 'nitrogen oxide'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogen_oxide
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 29 July, 2015, 11:59:04 am
List of "restaurants" not coming to Redhill:

http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/restaurant-chains-coming-Redhill/story-27462816-detail/story.html (http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/restaurant-chains-coming-Redhill/story-27462816-detail/story.html)

Quote
Twitter account @RDHWatercolour tweeted: "@surreymirror I see Nandos as the first step to Redhill to greatness.

It's all happening...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 29 July, 2015, 01:24:23 pm
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)

Ignorance of SCIENCE at the most basic level is commonplace and worrisome.

HUGE sections of the public are totally clueless...
Ok, so for the benefit of those of us who are chemically ignorant, the gas they are (hopefully) using is presumably nitorous oxide, N2O, 'laughing gas' and 'cream supplies', rather than for instance nitrogen dioxide, NO2? Or is the point something else? Wiki describes both those and many others as 'nitrogen oxide'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogen_oxide

Then mean Liquid nitrogen (N2): toothy comestibles, for the flash-freezing of.  They actually got that right in the article.

Nitrogen oxides, of course, make up an excessive amount of Birmingham's atmosphere, due to 50 years of relentless fitting more cars in.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 July, 2015, 01:37:40 pm
Ah, I didn't actually read the article ( :facepalm:). I assumed they were using nitrous oxide for making soft bubbliness, mr whippy style.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 29 July, 2015, 05:41:26 pm
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)

Ignorance of SCIENCE at the most basic level is commonplace and worrisome.

HUGE sections of the public are totally clueless...
Ok, so for the benefit of those of us who are chemically ignorant, the gas they are (hopefully) using is presumably nitorous oxide, N2O, 'laughing gas' and 'cream supplies', rather than for instance nitrogen dioxide, NO2? Or is the point something else? Wiki describes both those and many others as 'nitrogen oxide'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogen_oxide

I am not sure.
I think they are using liquid nitrogen - N2, which is VERY VERY COLD. It's harmless if not cold, if there's adequate oxygen in the air and ventilation.

A liquefied gas expands ENORMOUSLY as it boils, which can also be dangerous.

Obviously N2O laughing gas, is not N2 nitrogen is not NO2 nitrogen dioxide, a nasty brown gas that forms nitric acid with water.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jakob W on 30 July, 2015, 06:34:11 pm
LN2 is what you want for ice-cream making purposes; because it's so cold it flash-freezes your ice-cream mixture, giving very small ice crystals and a lovely smooooth texture.

Living in a house full of Imperial students, among them a PhD chemist, LN2 ice-cream was a staple of our parties. Quite how he managed to repeatedly transport a steaming dewar of liquid nitrogen from South Kensington to Putney on the bus without getting nicked - post 9/11 as well - I'm not entirely sure.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pancho on 30 July, 2015, 07:03:13 pm
Hippie crack - just say N2O.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 03 August, 2015, 02:22:26 pm
Unclothed man rides bicycle.
http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/shocked-wildlife-photographer-captures-naked-9780190#ICID=FB-MEN-main (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/shocked-wildlife-photographer-captures-naked-9780190#ICID=FB-MEN-main)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 August, 2015, 07:36:45 pm
http://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/13526588.Trowbridge_resident_frustrated_at_overgrown_footpath__nightmare_/

I'm not sure how they got into our garden to take those photos, thobut...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pancho on 03 August, 2015, 08:25:01 pm
Unclothed man rides bicycle.
http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/shocked-wildlife-photographer-captures-naked-9780190#ICID=FB-MEN-main (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/shocked-wildlife-photographer-captures-naked-9780190#ICID=FB-MEN-main)

The photographer's quote is fun:

Quote
“I thought it was brilliant. It made me proud to be British.”

And so is the sub heading above links to related stories:

Quote
Want more nudity?

Moss Vale pub locals pose in the nude to raise money for charity

Police called to three naked men washing clothes in city centre fountain

Hundreds take part in Manchester's annual Naked Bike Ride
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 04 August, 2015, 12:40:51 pm
http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/13524797.Teenagers_get_lost_in_dark_after_being_chased_by_sheep_in_Lakes

A Patterdale Mountain Rescue spokesman said
Quote
We were obviously quite concerned when the fellas said they had been chased by wild animals, especially given all the recent reports of wild cats in Cumbria.
Once we arrived it quickly became apparent that men had been chased by a couple of Herdwicks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 04 August, 2015, 01:14:56 pm
(https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpt1/v/t1.0-9/11796181_1472193119766559_2613458576057975485_n.jpg?oh=964712a8692ce42184c1f7fcb09003e8&oe=5659F650)

and

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/13526446.Cyclist_smashes_into_89_year_old/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 August, 2015, 09:34:47 pm
It's the notes in the second photo that make it:

http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/13573038.Residents__broadband_lost__for_over_a_week__after_car_smashes_into_telecoms_cabinet_in_Bourne_End/

(This is the textbook tactical nuclear solution for when our-favourite-telco refuse to fix your line fault.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 August, 2015, 12:45:10 pm
Or get Geraint Thomas on the case...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 08 August, 2015, 01:02:34 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-33833663 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-33833663)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 08 August, 2015, 01:11:47 pm
She's got balls!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: graculus on 08 August, 2015, 03:53:01 pm
The assailant was described as 'having a young voice'. Was this before or after she had dealt with him, I wonder?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 10 August, 2015, 07:33:24 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/13585818.Man_charged_with_drink_driving_was_seen_trying_to_inflate_car_tyres_with_vacuum_cleaner/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 26 August, 2015, 04:41:58 pm
"Bute renamed ‘Penis Island’ in Gaelic sign blunder"
http://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/heritage/bute-renamed-penis-island-in-gaelic-sign-blunder-1-3867056
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: L CC on 07 September, 2015, 12:44:00 pm
Normal for Norfolk (http://www.becclesandbungayjournal.co.uk/news/man_appears_at_court_charged_with_attempted_sexual_assault_on_horse_1_4205957)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 September, 2015, 09:36:20 am
The provinces of Russia (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/sep/08/russian-5-year-olds-tunneled-out-nursery-jaguar-sports-car)

Good work, I say, to the kids.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 09 September, 2015, 05:01:04 pm
WI Censors rude place names at Harrogate show (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-34196691)

Ooh err missus, fnarr fnarr.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 14 September, 2015, 09:18:41 pm
I have no idea (obv) about what's actually on this CD.
The 'symbolic writing' on it is merely 'Hallelujah' and 'Jehovah' scrawled in Hebrew.
Shame the CD is upside down.
You might have thought the BBC would have just about enough people to spot this in London or Hertfordshire...
... even if you don't read Hebrew, that crucifix seems the wrong way up!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on 14 September, 2015, 09:30:50 pm
That link is about bananananas.  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 14 September, 2015, 10:07:08 pm
Ooops!
Corrected now.

Obviously hadn't copied the last link.
Apologies!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 September, 2015, 10:13:43 pm
I have no idea (obv) about what's actually on this CD.
The 'symbolic writing' on it is merely 'Hallelujah' and 'Jehovah' scrawled in Hebrew.
Shame the CD is upside down.
You might have thought the BBC would have just about enough people to spot this in London or Hertfordshire...
... even if you don't read Hebrew, that crucifix seems the wrong way up!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828)
Perhaps deliberately? Must be satanic!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 14 September, 2015, 10:53:49 pm
I have no idea (obv) about what's actually on this CD.
The 'symbolic writing' on it is merely 'Hallelujah' and 'Jehovah' scrawled in Hebrew.
Shame the CD is upside down.
You might have thought the BBC would have just about enough people to spot this in London or Hertfordshire...
... even if you don't read Hebrew, that crucifix seems the wrong way up!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828)
Perhaps deliberately? Must be satanic!

 ;) ;D

The Hebrew is 'pointed' (marked with small vowel characters, mostly below the main letters). This is something really only done by beginners and foreign scholars. The writing is block, not cursive. This all points to someone with only rather basic education in Hebrew.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 September, 2015, 12:07:30 am
Just in case it's not clear, I meant that the BBC/the photographer/someone responsible for the photo had decided it looked better with an upside-down crucifix, not that the person responsible for the CD had got it the wrong way round.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 15 September, 2015, 12:39:29 am
I appreciate that!

It irks me when I see Hebrew upside-down; I know there are times when it can't be avoided but all too often it seems to spell a level of apathy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on 15 September, 2015, 09:20:24 am
Once again, sloppy reporting from the beeb, in Helly's link...

Quote
Officers will be making house-to-house inquiries to retrieve any discs they may have been given.

Does that mean the houses have been given the CDs?

Or that the officers were given the CDs and need to retreive them?

Or something else?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 15 September, 2015, 12:10:42 pm
Backsheep passenger (sic)

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/13720430.Police_spot_backsheep_passenger_on_A19/

Years ago my next door neighbour had two on the back seat of his week old Mercedes saloon parked in our shared drive. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 16 September, 2015, 04:05:15 pm
Seen in Horley station on a billboard:

HORLEY MAN KEEPS ALBINO MOLE IN FREEZER

Here's the story
http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/Horley-mole-catcher-strikes-gold/story-27766326-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 17 September, 2015, 06:30:05 pm
It is not suspicious to end up beheaded in your car round this end of Outer Londonton.

http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/13656400.Man_dies_after_Edgware_crash/?ref=mr&lp=11 (http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/13656400.Man_dies_after_Edgware_crash/?ref=mr&lp=11)

http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/13766295.Man_found_decapitated_after_crash_outside_cemetery/?ref=rss (http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/13766295.Man_found_decapitated_after_crash_outside_cemetery/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 September, 2015, 11:34:20 pm
http://www.shieldsgazette.com/news/local-news/watch-live-crabs-kicked-off-metro-after-crustacean-escape-1-7468880
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 23 September, 2015, 11:43:18 pm
From the interwebz village news (http://newsthump.com/2015/09/23/cyclist-in-not-a-prick-shock/) . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 28 September, 2015, 12:23:57 pm
Outer Londonton drags feet into 20th century.
It might stretch credulity to term BT's FTTC 21st century.
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13784060.Thousands_of_homes_to_benefit_from_broadband_expansion/?ref=eb (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13784060.Thousands_of_homes_to_benefit_from_broadband_expansion/?ref=eb)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 September, 2015, 12:26:57 pm
FTTC is, like many things, a triumph of technology over the cost of Doing Things Properly:

VDSL is pretty clever stuff, squeezing improbable amounts of bandwidth out of 19th century twisted-pair technology.  Fibre to the premises would likely have happened in the 1980s, if it weren't for Thatcher.

Clever bodges to do things on the cheap.... how 21st century do you want?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 29 September, 2015, 10:40:23 am
In the dead tree version of the Kent Messnger Maidstone Extra, the headline is "Order for jacket from the palace". It would appear that flunkies use the internet to buy clothes.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 29 September, 2015, 11:12:50 am
Seen in Horley station on a billboard:

HORLEY MAN KEEPS ALBINO MOLE IN FREEZER

Here's the story
http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/Horley-mole-catcher-strikes-gold/story-27766326-detail/story.html

This is notnews.  If one in every 100,000 moles is albino, then 99,999 in every 100,000 are notalbino.  If you catch a mole, the chance of it being notalbino is 0.99999.  Assuming the incidence of albino moles to be a random occurrence, let's say Mr Fearn catches 30 moles a week (he says "up to 40") for 52 weeks per year (though it's probably seasonal) and that he has a long and prosperous mole-trapping career of 35 years, then the probability of catching only notalbino moles is 0.99999^(30x52x35) = 0.58.  In other words, he has a 42% chance of catching an albino mole in the course of his career.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 05 October, 2015, 01:06:47 pm
Always important to have a local angle on world events...

http://www.ashbournenewstelegraph.co.uk/effect-Hurricane-Joaquin-Ashbourne-s-weather/story-27923521-detail/story.html (http://www.ashbournenewstelegraph.co.uk/effect-Hurricane-Joaquin-Ashbourne-s-weather/story-27923521-detail/story.html)


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 14 October, 2015, 03:50:37 pm
Toaster catches fire. (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Toaster-catches-Weston-Bath/story-27981310-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 15 October, 2015, 10:20:05 am
Two different local papers
(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-oYYGZZZKPmo/Vh9tHeOG2sI/AAAAAAAAMg8/bAg0ba2iwMs/w328-h583-no/DSC_0533.JPG) (https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-sY3J6nyR60Q/Vh9tNHevsYI/AAAAAAAAMhc/kUIzGjgEofc/w328-h583-no/DSC_0534.JPG)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 15 October, 2015, 09:26:27 pm
I don't know who is responsible for this, but it is rather good:

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 16 October, 2015, 08:28:14 am
More pies is always good news:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/13873075.New_pie_shop_opens_in_York/?ref=mr&lp=2
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 October, 2015, 08:58:15 am
Not going to live for ever, are you? Besides, it would make a very nice basket for a large dog to sleep in. Anyway, what else are you doing on Halloween?
http://www.stroudlife.co.uk/Pictures-Weave-coffin-Stroud/story-27893556-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 October, 2015, 12:12:15 pm
Not going to live for ever, are you? Besides, it would make a very nice basket for a large dog to sleep in. Anyway, what else are you doing on Halloween?
http://www.stroudlife.co.uk/Pictures-Weave-coffin-Stroud/story-27893556-detail/story.html

Richard Ballantine had one of of those, carried to the crem on a bike trailer.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 20 October, 2015, 08:12:48 pm
I'm absolutely devastated - Not! (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/birmingham-christmas-parade-cancelled-because-10297685)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 22 October, 2015, 11:16:46 am
Halloween Lemurs
http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/Lemurs-halloween-spirit-Whipsnade-Zoo/story-28018717-detail/story.html (http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/Lemurs-halloween-spirit-Whipsnade-Zoo/story-28018717-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 22 October, 2015, 02:41:10 pm
Slightly different topic to most on here, but Edinbugh-London-Edinburgh in 3 days is impressive. Chapeau: -
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/10000-thank-yous-for-baby-unit-ed08171b-aadf-4cc4-8d56-55a68b6db15c-ds
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 25 October, 2015, 01:45:50 pm
Oh strewth!

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Cambridge-woman-sets-Christmas-lights-months/story-28036323-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 25 October, 2015, 02:08:22 pm
[OT] AIUI there is no Danish word for 'tinsel'. Danes have taste...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 October, 2015, 02:20:14 pm
FWSE Translate suggests, among others, "glimmer" and "englehår".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 25 October, 2015, 02:34:26 pm
That latter sounds more like capellini - possibly not best with bolognese sauce...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tigerrr on 25 October, 2015, 05:46:00 pm
I don't know who is responsible for this, but it is rather good:

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/
That is one of the best pictures I have seen since Tenerife 2003. Excellent.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tigerrr on 25 October, 2015, 05:51:33 pm
Not going to live for ever, are you? Besides, it would make a very nice basket for a large dog to sleep in. Anyway, what else are you doing on Halloween?
http://www.stroudlife.co.uk/Pictures-Weave-coffin-Stroud/story-27893556-detail/story.html

Richard Ballantine had one of of those, carried to the crem on a bike trailer.
I never realised he was a cyclist, although owning all those gyms I should have guessed. But he never seemed very 'alternative' to me, very much a traditional capitalist with that glasgow rough thing and the self made man backstory.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 26 October, 2015, 09:14:52 am
I don't know who is responsible for this, but it is rather good:

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/
That is one of the best pictures I have seen since Tenerife 2003. Excellent.

If our local newspaper was more like this I might be tempted to read it . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 27 October, 2015, 06:09:13 pm
Firefighters rescue boy stuck in bathroom.

http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/digswell_youngster_rescued_from_bathroom_1_4286250
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 27 October, 2015, 06:24:21 pm
Italian (well Tyrolean) art gallery cleaners mistake art installation for rubbish.
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-installation-cleared-away-by-cleaners-who-mistook-it-for-rubbish-a3099966.html (http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-installation-cleared-away-by-cleaners-who-mistook-it-for-rubbish-a3099966.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on 27 October, 2015, 07:42:56 pm
Italian (well Tyrolean) art gallery cleaners mistake art installation for rubbish.
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-installation-cleared-away-by-cleaners-who-mistook-it-for-rubbish-a3099966.html (http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-installation-cleared-away-by-cleaners-who-mistook-it-for-rubbish-a3099966.html)

They made the right call.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wobbly John on 27 October, 2015, 09:31:45 pm
I don't know who is responsible for this, but it is rather good:

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/

Quote
"Joanna Areola of the Nudist Tourism Alliance of Britain"
  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 28 October, 2015, 08:17:13 am
Leighton Buzzard's oldest residents uncovered

Quote
Excavation unearths rare Saxon finds

http://www.leightonbuzzardonline.co.uk/news/local-news/excavation-unearths-rare-saxon-finds-1-7034455 (http://www.leightonbuzzardonline.co.uk/news/local-news/excavation-unearths-rare-saxon-finds-1-7034455)

Quote
Pagan burials containing rare pieces of jewellery and other graves goods have been found in a small Saxon Cemetery near Leighton Buzzard.

The excavation began after chance find by a local metal-detectorist of some Anglo-Saxon shield bosses dating from around AD600.

To protect the site from night-hawks during the excavation a member of the Leighton Buzzard and District Archaeological and Historical Society slept in a tent on the site for two weeks.

Following a geophysical survey of the area, members of the society led by site director, Bernard Jones, have completed a two-week excavation which has revealed the graves of four individuals, one female and three males. They appear to have been quite young, within the age range of 15 to 25 years old...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 28 October, 2015, 09:48:39 am
Buzzards protecting the site from Hawks! ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on 28 October, 2015, 12:04:11 pm
Not going to live for ever, are you? Besides, it would make a very nice basket for a large dog to sleep in. Anyway, what else are you doing on Halloween?
http://www.stroudlife.co.uk/Pictures-Weave-coffin-Stroud/story-27893556-detail/story.html

Richard Ballantine had one of of those, carried to the crem on a bike trailer.
I never realised he was a cyclist, although owning all those gyms I should have guessed. But he never seemed very 'alternative' to me, very much a traditional capitalist with that glasgow rough thing and the self made man backstory.
I believe that sir may be thinking of Duncan Ballentine. Unrelated and slightly less dead.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 October, 2015, 12:11:21 pm
I believe that sir may be thinking of Duncan Ballentine. Unrelated and slightly less dead.
Duncan Ballentine is undead
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 October, 2015, 12:59:35 pm
Thank you, Vince.  I have been struggling to understand Tigerrr's reply for a couple of days.

And struggling to understand most of Tigerrr's replies for a Several of years ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 29 October, 2015, 09:44:33 am
Exciting television. (http://www.westernmorningnews.co.uk/Racy-Poldark-fans-descend-Cornwall/story-27909916-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 29 October, 2015, 09:51:00 am
Exciting television. (http://www.westernmorningnews.co.uk/Racy-Poldark-fans-descend-Cornwall/story-27909916-detail/story.html)

Lordy.  There's no plan to film any mini series in Northumberland is there?  Can't have them turning Alnmouth into an enormous car park/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 November, 2015, 05:17:39 pm
Police called to man 'lying down' on Herne Bay coastline (http://www.canterburytimes.co.uk/Police-called-man-lying-Herne-Bay-coastline/story-28148662-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 November, 2015, 04:59:47 pm
Birmingham's Christmas market opens (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-34789059)

(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/C137/production/_86636494_bolt.jpg)

(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/369F/production/_86638931_creo.jpg)

Some seriously informative infographics there, but I still want to know the volume of the Glühwein in Olympic Swimming Pools.

Incidentally, I went past the Christmas Market yesterday.  Confirmed sighting of at least one German (fiddling with something electrical), and someone who understands German when spoken to them by a German.  The famous angel with the can of special brew was conspicuously absent, though maybe they just hadn't installed that yet.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 12 November, 2015, 05:11:07 pm
http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Female-council-chief-axed-public-toilets-fined/story-28158649-detail/story.html (http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Female-council-chief-axed-public-toilets-fined/story-28158649-detail/story.html)

 :facepalm: :facepalm: ;D ;D

Seems to be a man despite URL FWIW.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 16 November, 2015, 01:36:57 pm
Depressingly expected..

http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/more-news/bicester-beauty-salon-we-are-banning-muslims-1-7067395
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 November, 2015, 11:51:32 am
Cyclist does a Basil; uploads tracklog to Strava (http://road.cc/content/news/171431-cyclists-strava-records-moment-he-fell-canal)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 18 November, 2015, 12:09:53 pm
 ;D  Brilliant.
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 19 November, 2015, 06:42:23 pm
Old lady signs little red book: Best thing to ever happen at Mordor Central (https://twitter.com/NetworkRailBHM/status/667320408853606401/photo/1)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 19 November, 2015, 07:03:56 pm
And then she wrote "Don't, whatever you do, give this book to JenM or Wowbagger"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on 19 November, 2015, 07:24:23 pm
I see that Brum Bish tried to upstage HM's pink outfit.  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 24 November, 2015, 10:34:02 pm
CRUMBS! Sandwich shop in Sandwich raid – but not a sandwich was taken (http://www.dover-express.co.uk/f/story-28234076-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on 25 November, 2015, 07:41:32 am
Quote
Doughpy theives cut through a wall of a Subway sandwich store... in Sandwich yesterday morning.

Ironic that in their struggle to create a pun they also manage to include a very basic spelling mistake.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 December, 2015, 08:35:04 pm
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-seafront-traders-concerned-over-government-threat-to-destroy-ices/

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 December, 2015, 08:43:10 pm
CRUMBS! Sandwich shop in Sandwich raid – but not a sandwich was taken (http://www.dover-express.co.uk/f/story-28234076-detail/story.html)
Are you moonlighting as a reporter in Kent now, Kim? Surely non-Yacfers could not be responsible for such puns?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 December, 2015, 08:58:46 pm
The good old Brighton Argus goes for the obvious headline.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14125632.Sink_hole_appears_in_road___highways_officials_looking_into_it/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 08 December, 2015, 11:22:40 pm
Two gems today in the Saarfend Echo:

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14131705.Martin_Clunes_spotted_filming_on_Canvey/?ref=ar

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14127625.Six_staff_walk_out_and_police_are_called_as_diner_dispute_sees_restaurant_branded_as__like_Fawlty_Towers_/?ref=mr&lp=4

The latter also found its way into the national press.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 09 December, 2015, 08:12:35 pm
Angels help Leamington Spa shoppers avoid parking fines (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-35052900)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 December, 2015, 11:58:53 pm
Decomposed frog found in Nando's salad (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-35111514)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 19 December, 2015, 11:38:58 pm
Scalextric championships in Essex.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-35136388 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-35136388)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 20 December, 2015, 12:23:16 am
Decomposed frog found in Nando's salad (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-35111514)

Not Whizzo butter then?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 21 December, 2015, 10:56:49 am
'Cyclists should be considered for a ..... congestion charge' - what a plonker!

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/consider-charging-cyclists-Cambridge-congestion/story-28398105-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 21 December, 2015, 01:18:57 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-35150870

"I locked my doors and thought, 'you're not getting in here, I've got carrots in my boot'."

Which is quite a good euphemism.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 22 December, 2015, 01:15:48 pm
Post Office burgler tries to buy car with 1000 £1 coins (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/local-news/post-office-burglar-caught-after-10635945)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 22 December, 2015, 06:27:32 pm
Ah, a candidate for Stupid Burglar lists.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 23 December, 2015, 05:34:43 pm
Today's surreal news - Man Steals Vacuum (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/man_in_custody_over_alleged_vacuum_theft_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_4358306)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 December, 2015, 07:17:38 pm
http://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/14163505.Missing_keys_finally_found_in_Bradford_on_Avon_charity_shop/

Story's in the URL, really.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 24 December, 2015, 12:19:47 am
Today's surreal news - Man Steals Vacuum (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/man_in_custody_over_alleged_vacuum_theft_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_4358306)

I suppose if the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th most read stories on that site are the opening hours of different supermarkets then a vacuum theft is big news.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Reg.T on 24 December, 2015, 12:34:37 am
http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/hurt-car-suffers-handbrake-failure-rolls-hill/story-28267975-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/hurt-car-suffers-handbrake-failure-rolls-hill/story-28267975-detail/story.html)
Handbrake failure in unattended car causes partial obstruction to road, but no damage. Warning issued that there may be traffic in both directions.
It all excitement in Bath.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 24 December, 2015, 04:41:41 pm
East Midlands Airport boycott threat over Derby County advert (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-35166654)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 24 December, 2015, 05:14:43 pm
http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/hurt-car-suffers-handbrake-failure-rolls-hill/story-28267975-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/hurt-car-suffers-handbrake-failure-rolls-hill/story-28267975-detail/story.html)
Handbrake failure in unattended car causes partial obstruction to road, but no damage. Warning issued that there may be traffic in both directions.
It all excitement in Bath.
it's not in the spirit of this thread to trump your story with one from India, but i think it's too good to not share:

http://i.stuff.co.nz/world/asia/75430001/monkey-steals-bus-in-india-while-driver-naps-crashes-into-two-other-buses
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on 25 December, 2015, 10:49:57 am
Some good news for a change.

Well - good that someone was in the right place at the right time. Not so good that their help was needed.

http://www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/14165290._I_feel_incredibly_lucky___Cyclist_who_collapsed_with_cardiac_arrest_thanks_police_officers_who_saved_his_life/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 04 January, 2016, 03:58:43 pm
It gets even more exciting near Bath - man goes for lunch at pub

http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 January, 2016, 06:45:05 pm
It gets even more exciting near Bath - man goes for lunch at pub

http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html)

How many pints did he have, and did he visit the toilet?

These journalists are rubbish.


ETA: I was thinking of John Craven, a completely different national treasure, famed for his legendary bladder control  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on 06 January, 2016, 09:33:25 am
Man taken to court for putting his feet up on a train seat.

Good - but why is this so extraordinary that it's newsworthy? Why was a fixed penalty ticket not sufficient?

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14182759.Ringwood_man_taken_to_court_for_putting_his_feet_on_a_train_seat/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 January, 2016, 10:34:22 am
Nice pub, the George. I remember merry days with my cousin there and a pint or more of cider. Many years ago, mind. It's by the canal, so handy for boaters and towpath cyclists.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 January, 2016, 08:11:01 pm
This thread is slacking.  How did we miss this?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/12085091/drummondpuddle-why-has-a-puddle-in-newcastle-become-an-internet-sensation.html

Sort of thing that makes you proud to be British...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 07 January, 2016, 06:00:04 am
Man taken to court for putting his feet up on a train seat.

Good - but why is this so extraordinary that it's newsworthy? Why was a fixed penalty ticket not sufficient?

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14182759.Ringwood_man_taken_to_court_for_putting_his_feet_on_a_train_seat/

It is in the article. The subtext of the article is that the commuter was a cnut and refused to take his feet off the seat, thus getting a penalty. Quite right too - dog shit on seats  :sick:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 07 January, 2016, 06:01:14 am
It gets even more exciting near Bath - man goes for lunch at pub

http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html)

How many pints did he have, and did he visit the toilet?

These journalists are rubbish.


ETA: I was thinking of John Craven, a completely different national treasure, famed for his legendary bladder control  :facepalm:

I'd never heard of that urban myth, and having dome 5 pints without peeing in the past, wonder why it got so much traction!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on 07 January, 2016, 07:49:29 am
Man taken to court for putting his feet up on a train seat.

Good - but why is this so extraordinary that it's newsworthy? Why was a fixed penalty ticket not sufficient?

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14182759.Ringwood_man_taken_to_court_for_putting_his_feet_on_a_train_seat/

It is in the article. The subtext of the article is that the commuter was a cnut and refused to take his feet off the seat, thus getting a penalty. Quite right too - dog shit on seats  :sick:
I'm pretty sure that the final comment "It is believed that ..." wasn't there when I first saw the story, though I'm by no means certain.

The Bournemouth Echo and Dorset Echo are notorious for poor/misleading headlines (clickbait) and random updating of stories.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 07 January, 2016, 11:06:30 am
According to the Surrey Mirror website:

Quote
There are queues on the M25 this morning

Goodness.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 13 January, 2016, 03:23:07 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-35253903 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-35253903)

'GO STEVE' !!!???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 January, 2016, 10:50:05 pm
Quote
Castle Cary resident Godfrey Hall has concerns that bus consultations and rail services are inadequate for isolated people in the area

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on 14 January, 2016, 08:17:12 am
There has been a lot of rain recently.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Riggers on 14 January, 2016, 11:39:57 am
Love this from The Argus today (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14204054.More_icy_roads_causing_problems_as_car_leaves_road_on_commuter_route/)

Further down the report, a Sussex Police spokesman said: "There was nothing to suggest the road was icy …"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 14 January, 2016, 11:42:30 pm
This is the key bit from that report.

Quote
a woman in her 20s was treated by paramedics for neck pain.
She was driving a Nissan Micra.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 15 January, 2016, 08:13:48 pm
Old news, but worth posting anyway:

http://www.lutontoday.co.uk/news/dalek-danger-on-luton-dunstable-busway-1-6611207
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 16 January, 2016, 02:18:51 pm
http://www.teesdalemercury.co.uk/Articles/poover-the-answer-to-dale’s-dog-mess-woes#sthash.lnmtLxoX.dpbs

Insert "it's a shit job but..." joke here.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 17 January, 2016, 07:25:15 pm
Any confirmation from our correspondent on the spot? (http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/shoppers-horror/)

Can't see a Nissan Leaf in the picture, mind . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 18 January, 2016, 10:16:54 am
Another splendid piece from Southed News Network.

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-underground-railway-planned-to-ease-traffic-concerns/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 18 January, 2016, 10:18:40 am
Any confirmation from our correspondent on the spot? (http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/shoppers-horror/)

Can't see a Nissan Leaf in the picture, mind . . .

Mrs. Wow and I are heading straight there now on a fact-finding trip.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 18 January, 2016, 08:24:29 pm
 :o :o  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 20 January, 2016, 03:19:23 pm
This headline really irritates me...

http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/crime/man-charged-with-escaping-from-open-prison-1-7166899
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 20 January, 2016, 03:26:52 pm
Maybe 'absconding' is beyond their vocabulary?
Meanwhile, in today's Standard, a pricy home is described as 'luxuriant'. It's not a beard, mane or hedge FFS...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 20 January, 2016, 06:32:20 pm
A fail for Eglwyswrw then.

http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/14216860.Eglwyswrw_s_rain_record_attempt_is_over/

What gets me is the use of the word 'Attempt'.   Eh? 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 20 January, 2016, 07:17:01 pm
Should have tried harder, obviously...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 20 January, 2016, 07:19:15 pm
Yeah, more car-washing, barbecues and camping weekends.  That sort of thing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 January, 2016, 07:27:43 pm
Maybe 'absconding' is beyond their vocabulary?
Meanwhile, in today's Standard, a pricy home is described as 'luxuriant'. It's not a beard, mane or hedge FFS...
I think they were trying to express that it's not simple luxury, it's deviant luxury.  ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 21 January, 2016, 01:34:02 am
 newsthump (http://newsthump.com/2016/01/19/newcastle-population-facing-deportation-after-failing-to-learn-english/)  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on 21 January, 2016, 07:25:18 am
newsthump (http://newsthump.com/2016/01/19/newcastle-population-facing-deportation-after-failing-to-learn-english/)  :thumbsup:
Looks like they'll have to declare independence. I don't know  who'll be the more relieved - the Geordies, or the English.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 21 January, 2016, 11:58:03 am
Dog Poo DNA Test Starts in Barking

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-35363991 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-35363991)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 25 January, 2016, 01:06:55 pm
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14221982.York_man_banned_from_having_sex_unless_he_gives_police_24_hours__notice/?ref=mr&lp=20

I know this is a serious matter but it still made me smile, imagine the phone call.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 25 January, 2016, 10:04:04 pm
It's all kicking off in Sherborne:

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 25 January, 2016, 11:27:50 pm
It's all kicking off in Sherborne:

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html

How did you choose? There are some belting links on that page.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 January, 2016, 12:02:12 am
It's all kicking off in Sherborne:

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html

Very thorough journalism, though they didn't specify the flavour of yoghurt.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 26 January, 2016, 08:43:10 am
Quote
The hunt is on for a yoghurt throwing convertible driver after two drive-by dairy attacks in Dorset.

Is this the driver of a yoghurt-throwing convertible, a driver who is convertible (into what?) who throws yoghurt, or a person who throws yoghurt while driving a cabriolet? ??? :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 26 January, 2016, 07:23:22 pm
It's all kicking off in Sherborne:

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html

How did you choose? There are some belting links on that page.

That was just the link someone sent me - I thought it was a hoax at first, especially seeing headlines like this:

http://m.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Woman-dressed-vagina-stops-street-fight-penis-man/story-19328715-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 27 January, 2016, 10:20:56 pm
Looks like it wasn't just me in me jammies all day today!

Apparently Darlo has now gone global with this.  I am very proud.

http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/headteacher-asks-parents-stop-wearing-10790129
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 27 January, 2016, 10:33:25 pm
Looks like it wasn't just me in me jammies all day today!

Apparently Darlo has now gone global with this.  I am very proud.

http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/headteacher-asks-parents-stop-wearing-10790129

The letter's on Look North too
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 31 January, 2016, 05:49:32 pm
Ah!  So that's what they're for!

http://www.thelocal.it/20160131/italian-arrested-for-use-of-bidet-as-deadly-weapon
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 10 February, 2016, 08:58:30 am
Postman Pat's van stolen. Cat goes missing at same time.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-35524233 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-35524233)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 10 February, 2016, 01:57:47 pm
I feel the need to visit Twycross zoo sometime soon

Quote
Gibbon Forest unveiled at Twycross Zoo
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-35482909 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-35482909)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 16 February, 2016, 05:36:17 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-35579159 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-35579159)

Dinosaur Antics  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 17 February, 2016, 12:00:38 am
Sailing without a sail (http://www.burytimes.co.uk/news/14277119.Canal_enthusiast_in_dinghy_sails_through_Hincaster_Tunnel_for_first_time_in_almost_70_years___and_plans_new_adventure_with__Captain_Jack_Sparrow_/?ref=mr&lp=5) and added Jack Sparrow.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on 18 February, 2016, 05:11:01 pm
Not really the provinces, but I think BBC London's reporters are giving the provinces a run for their money with a "trainspotters seen in station" shocker combined with claiming everyday happenings from the 1950s are news:
Quote
BBC London Live: Latest
16 minutes ago
Paddington trainspotters in the 1950s
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 18 February, 2016, 08:59:31 pm
^^ Hacked again? ^^
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 19 February, 2016, 06:20:57 pm
http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/BREAKING-Man-orange-underpants-blocking-traffic/story-28768283-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/BREAKING-Man-orange-underpants-blocking-traffic/story-28768283-detail/story.html)

My former haunt, at Uni.  If this is on the A46 it will be even more utterly chaotic than usual
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 20 February, 2016, 08:09:24 am
It is in Pennsylvania, so he is probably American.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on 21 February, 2016, 09:51:33 pm
re Somerset Yoghurt attack; I did read down to see what the good readers thought; they were as appalled as I was

"Firstly, I think everyone should stop milking this for a cheap gag. It's given me a real sour taste in the mouth. The road's been closed to allow the forensics team to investigate the cream scene. On interviewing the chief detective, they said "nothing's got past ur eyes. It's obviously part of the bigger movement - we are after the big cheese"... They won't get a-whey with this one! Poor woman, curdled with fear."

'Some guy had the cheek to throw yogurt at that woman? How dairy?'

'It's this kind of unprovoked aggression that makes my stomach churn'

These people are obviously very cultured!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 21 February, 2016, 10:00:33 pm
It's all kicking off in Sherborne:

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html

Not so much for the story from the same tome, but check out the pictures to illustrate a pilgrim, a taser, and a bottle...

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Pilgrim-Glastonbury-man-s-driveway-armed-bottle/story-28770657-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 24 February, 2016, 11:24:02 am
Quote
Man carrying gnome sparks police alert on M60 in Greater Manchester
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-35648583 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-35648583)

Unfortunately, the headline is more interesting than the story
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on 26 February, 2016, 02:10:57 pm
Some kindred spirits here (if at work, warning some "rude words")...
http://www.getbucks.co.uk/news/local-news/what-rudest-addresses-buckinghamshire-10953650 (http://www.getbucks.co.uk/news/local-news/what-rudest-addresses-buckinghamshire-10953650)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 26 February, 2016, 03:05:01 pm
Some kindred spirits here (if at work, warning some "rude words")...
http://www.getbucks.co.uk/news/local-news/what-rudest-addresses-buckinghamshire-10953650 (http://www.getbucks.co.uk/news/local-news/what-rudest-addresses-buckinghamshire-10953650)

I fails to mention Cockshoot Hill, althopuh I don't think any property actually has an address there - the lower slopes have been retitled Chickadee......   But Cockshoot Hill car park is a well know "dogging" spot. Trufax.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 February, 2016, 11:46:38 pm
Have we had http://birminghamupdates.com/post/139984348918/police-called-after-two-men-got-trapped-in-stolen ?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on 27 February, 2016, 09:55:11 am
Have we had http://birminghamupdates.com/post/139984348918/police-called-after-two-men-got-trapped-in-stolen ?

I misread the last word in the URL as stollen  ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 04 March, 2016, 12:25:24 pm
From my Twitter feed:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ccs2L2UW4AAPoQc.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 04 March, 2016, 12:35:02 pm
Saw this about the Isle of Man yesterday

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002)

Couple of things puzzled me

While it doesn't say whose WW2 bomb it was the IoM isn't the kind of place you would bomb by accident unless you were very lost.

And 2 I didn't think there was anything worth bombing on the IoM anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MagnusOpus on 04 March, 2016, 02:00:22 pm
From my Twitter feed:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ccs2L2UW4AAPoQc.jpg)

This can't be so? Gef the talking mongoose beats Cav as the Isle of Mans greatest ever beast!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gef (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gef)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 04 March, 2016, 05:38:44 pm
Better start panic buying chocolate!

http://www.itv.com/news/central/2016-03-04/200-cadbury-staff-on-strike-weeks-before-easter-bournville-birmingham/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 04 March, 2016, 06:21:00 pm
Man stuck in fence
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14321627.Jogger_shares_mishap_that_saw_him_stuck_in_York_fence___WITH_PHOTO_GALLERY/?ref=mr&lp=1 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14321627.Jogger_shares_mishap_that_saw_him_stuck_in_York_fence___WITH_PHOTO_GALLERY/?ref=mr&lp=1)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 07 March, 2016, 10:13:35 am
Biggleswade has it's own radio station!

http://www.bigglesfm.com/

(I haven't listened yet. I'm not sure I dare!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 09 March, 2016, 01:26:37 pm
Not provincial but...
http://news.met.police.uk/news/help-needed-to-trace-stolen-stuffed-animals-154850?utm_campaign=send_list&utm_medium=email&utm_source=sendgrid (http://news.met.police.uk/news/help-needed-to-trace-stolen-stuffed-animals-154850?utm_campaign=send_list&utm_medium=email&utm_source=sendgrid)

Burglary at taxidermist
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 11 March, 2016, 07:29:03 am
Saw this about the Isle of Man yesterday

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002)

Couple of things puzzled me

While it doesn't say whose WW2 bomb it was the IoM isn't the kind of place you would bomb by accident unless you were very lost.

And 2 I didn't think there was anything worth bombing on the IoM anyway.

The Isle of Man had several RAF training bases during WW2 - including a bomber training station.

It was also targeted several times.  Although Orford Ness is often most commonly linked with the development of radar, a lot of the R&D actually went on the Isle of Man. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 11 March, 2016, 10:00:56 am
Saw this about the Isle of Man yesterday

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002)

Couple of things puzzled me

While it doesn't say whose WW2 bomb it was the IoM isn't the kind of place you would bomb by accident unless you were very lost.

And 2 I didn't think there was anything worth bombing on the IoM anyway.

The Isle of Man had several RAF training bases during WW2 - including a bomber training station.

It was also targeted several times.  Although Orford Ness is often most commonly linked with the development of radar, a lot of the R&D actually went on the Isle of Man.

The nearest RAF station was on the other side of the island from where the bomb hit - about 7 or so miles IIRC
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pancho on 11 March, 2016, 10:20:46 am
I don't think bomber crews liked lugging undropped bombs home and, if they would ditch them pretty randomly if they couldn't find their target. At least that's the story that I was told to explain the bomb crater in a field in our village - miles from any potential targets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 11 March, 2016, 10:56:18 am
Yes I think you're right. A heinkel probably didn't fancy going all the way to Belfast so just unloaded them on the IoM
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 19 March, 2016, 05:57:04 pm
Blimey, some right shenanigans in Richmond!

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/14369319.Bloodied_axeman_seen_chasing_men_on_busy_Richmond_street/?ref=ebmpn
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on 19 March, 2016, 06:19:04 pm
Just a hundred yards or so from our front door (http://rugbyobserver.co.uk/news/rugby-shooting-leaves-two-injured/).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on 19 March, 2016, 06:41:43 pm
Chelsea the chihuahua goes on rampage:

http://www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/richmondnews/14349652.Case_against__dangerously_out_of_control__Chihuahua_dropped_by_magistrates/

With photo of chihuahua “not Chelsea”:

(http://www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/resources/images/4847486.jpg?htype=0&display=1&type=mc3)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 20 March, 2016, 12:29:53 pm
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln)

Poor chap!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 21 March, 2016, 09:13:34 am
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln)

Poor chap!
Um - the nasty comments under that article do seem to be correct. He does have a youtube channel, a large part of which is videos of him doing martial arts in a house - they say it's his mum's house. He certainly isn't homeless without the clay house.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 March, 2016, 11:00:56 am
Most of the comments seem to be very supportive of him. I'm impressed at the (appearing) solidity and well-finished nature of his house, bathing pool and so on. Clearly some of the furniture has come from somewhere else. I don't think he's going to set a trend and the woods will be taken over with these structures, because hardly anyone would actually want to live like that, but it does show the extensive changes even one person causes to their environment. Whether he should be allowed to carry on living there I'm not sure, but he'll probably find it difficult to live there undisturbed now anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on 21 March, 2016, 12:13:24 pm
http://www.burtonmail.co.uk/Burton-brewer-makes-beer-debut/story-28958344-detail/story.html (http://www.burtonmail.co.uk/Burton-brewer-makes-beer-debut/story-28958344-detail/story.html)
Brewer from Burton sells beer at a beer festival.
(Good luck to him!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 21 March, 2016, 12:16:06 pm
I suspect he'll be evicted.
Some people need to live outside conventional society.
We are getting less tolerant of this.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MagnusOpus on 21 March, 2016, 01:50:19 pm
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln)

Poor chap!

Wow, I lived for many years 5 minutes walk from those woods.... neat little place he made for himself
 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 21 March, 2016, 02:57:01 pm
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln)

Poor chap!

Wow, I lived for many years 5 minutes walk from those woods.... neat little place he made for himself
It is - and very impressive.

I'm less impressed by his clay-harvesting activities. It looks harmless - until you consider the impact on the stream of all the stirred-up clay silt and his dam.

I have friends who have taken the choice to opt out of 'normal' living. They lived in yurts, benders and log houses. All built with permission, with enthusiastic encouragement of land owner. It's possible.

This chap didn't want to do that, didn't want to ask. He just decided to take.

He'd have more of my sympathy if I hadn't looked at his youtube videos.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 25 March, 2016, 11:41:08 am
Adult woman gets stuck in MaccyD's baby high chair:
https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/2016/03/25/video-woman-rescued-firefighters-two-hours-stuck-dundee-mcdonalds-high-chair/ (https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/2016/03/25/video-woman-rescued-firefighters-two-hours-stuck-dundee-mcdonalds-high-chair/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 25 March, 2016, 11:14:23 pm
A new hotel boasts a "loo with a view" with scenes of the Birmingham skyline from the 16th floor. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-35898920)

Wowbagger (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=93686.msg1982363#msg1982363) will be pleased to note:

Quote
The hotel said unless "you were abseiling down a side of the building you wouldn't be able to see in".
Asked about window cleaners, general manager Robin Ford said: "I think we probably need to think about those don't we?"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 28 March, 2016, 10:15:53 am
http://m.cambridge-news.co.uk/8203-Stop-hogging-lanes-cyclists-Cambridge-area/story-28986775-detail/story.html (http://m.cambridge-news.co.uk/8203-Stop-hogging-lanes-cyclists-Cambridge-area/story-28986775-detail/story.html)

Not sure where this one should be.  Hadn't realised Cambridge drivers were such arses  until the Pork Pie, when two of us side by side in the middle of nowhere were getting more abuse that I've had in ten years in the fens
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 28 March, 2016, 10:24:58 am
'Course this does and should not mean, single file all the time (Highway Code). If I recall correctly British Cycling leadership courses insist on two abreast wherever possible.

Rule 66 You should

keep both hands on the handlebars except when signalling or changing gearBe useful if car drivers actually read the code occasionally having passed their tests.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 31 March, 2016, 04:16:54 pm
No photo, but the billboard stating "BABY BORN IN MCDONALD"S CAR PARK" gave me the impression that the lady's need for some junk food trumped her contractions, but apparently not. The McDonald's car park was as far as they got before it became obvious that the final couple of miles to the hospital were beyond her.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14390416.Surprise_delivery__Baby_born_in_McDonald_s_car_park_en_route_to_hospital/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 31 March, 2016, 05:22:50 pm
Likewise http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14388950.Police_officers_deliver_baby_on_side_of_road/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14388950.Police_officers_deliver_baby_on_side_of_road/?ref=ebln)

No part of Kenton Road is more than two miles from Northwick Park Hospital.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 01 April, 2016, 09:21:06 am
Giant Rat Statue for Longbridge (http://b31.org.uk/2016/04/statue-announced-for-longbridge-island/)

Quote
He did go on to say that, for a while, an 18 foot golden cock was looking likely to be erected,

That would have been great for the CDC thread.

Edit.  Oh god.  I'm an idiot.  Just noticed the date.
New rule, Basil.  No posting before first coffee of the day.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 01 April, 2016, 02:39:10 pm
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-news-network-to-close-shortly-official-statement/

If that's an April Fool, then it has certainly beaten me. Very sad if I'm right.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 01 April, 2016, 03:14:19 pm
http://m.cambridge-news.co.uk/8203-Stop-hogging-lanes-cyclists-Cambridge-area/story-28986775-detail/story.html (http://m.cambridge-news.co.uk/8203-Stop-hogging-lanes-cyclists-Cambridge-area/story-28986775-detail/story.html)

Not sure where this one should be.  Hadn't realised Cambridge drivers were such arses  until the Pork Pie, when two of us side by side in the middle of nowhere were getting more abuse that I've had in ten years in the fens

The Cambridge Evening News is a cyclist-hating, sh*t-stirring rag, with little or no journalistic integrity.

It was also a Sawston group that raised the issues.... 'nuff said.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on 11 April, 2016, 11:19:47 am
Some yogurt rage going on here (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/04/11/police-hunting-yoghurt-pot-throwers-in-shrewsbury/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on 11 April, 2016, 02:48:03 pm
Sex ed in hospital?
http://www.london24.com/news/quirky-london/pregnant_woman_showed_porn_film_in_northwick_park_hospital_waiting_room_1_4489942 (http://www.london24.com/news/quirky-london/pregnant_woman_showed_porn_film_in_northwick_park_hospital_waiting_room_1_4489942)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 April, 2016, 10:19:01 pm
PPE student accidentally locked in a university building with their mobile phone uses their initiative to get help:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-36023555
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 13 April, 2016, 02:56:59 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cf7K6v7WsAEIEb8.jpg:large)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 14 April, 2016, 04:28:25 pm
I'm going to Worcestershire at the weekend.  Do you think I should take precautions?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 14 April, 2016, 04:30:23 pm
Sounds like you can have quite a lot of fun in Worcester for £200 and the price of a bag of crisps.  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 15 April, 2016, 11:39:00 am
Or in this case, the colonies -
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/apr/15/lycra-ban-new-zealand-hotel-bumps-and-bulges-breakfast?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H&utm_term=167209&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2 (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/apr/15/lycra-ban-new-zealand-hotel-bumps-and-bulges-breakfast?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H&utm_term=167209&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 15 April, 2016, 12:40:33 pm
Didn't Harrod's ban Lycra cycling shorts?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 17 April, 2016, 04:47:28 pm
Is this for real?
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-lidl-starts-selling-waitrose-bags-to-fight-against-supermarket-shame/ (http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-lidl-starts-selling-waitrose-bags-to-fight-against-supermarket-shame/)

I checked the date and everyfink...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 17 April, 2016, 04:52:51 pm
Looking at some of the other headlines, it's more of a year-round thing...

Quote
LOCH NESS MONSTER spotted near EXPLOSIVE SS Montgomery wreck in Thames
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 17 April, 2016, 05:02:04 pm
On a sandwich board for the Northern Echo today:

"Pie Maker in Mangled Hand Scandal".

You have to wonder whether it was found in a pie, or just a health and safety issue.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 17 April, 2016, 06:12:59 pm
Didn't Harrod's ban Lycra cycling shorts?

It banned all shorts if worn by men - but women could still wear them. I was once escorted from the premises when I dived into the food hall on my way home, no even thinking that it would be a problem.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 April, 2016, 07:01:49 pm
Is this for real?
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-lidl-starts-selling-waitrose-bags-to-fight-against-supermarket-shame/ (http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-lidl-starts-selling-waitrose-bags-to-fight-against-supermarket-shame/)

I checked the date and everyfink...

Quote
THE LATEST NEWS FROM SOUTHEND, HONEST...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 April, 2016, 11:47:25 pm
Poet writes poem; BBC misses point. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-36072091)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 19 April, 2016, 08:23:56 am
Council paints road-markings round ice-age hazard. Bottom drops out of world for villagers

Quote
Soulbury stone: White lines 'horrific' and 'an eyesore'
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-36024009 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-36024009)
White lines painted around a boulder, thought to have been in place 11,000 years in an attempt to make it safer, have been described as an "eyesore" and "horrific" on social media.
The stone in Soulbury, Buckinghamshire, was under threat of being moved after a car allegedly crashed into it.
The county council has since painted white chevrons around it.
Photos of the new look on the Soulbury News Facebook page have attracted dozens of negative comments.
One person described it as a good compromise, but the vast majority of those responding have criticised the chevrons, labelling them as "shocking" and "dreadful".
Villagers had threatened to chain themselves to the stone, known as the Soulbury Boot, after the crash put its position in the middle of Chapel Hill in jeopardy.
;D ;D :facepalm: ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jakob W on 19 April, 2016, 08:30:13 am
I wonder what they do when the tarmac need resurfacing?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 21 April, 2016, 01:09:23 pm
Top news article on the Whitehaven News today.

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/Church-baffled-by-toilet-vandal-01b04514-15bc-45dd-ad8f-d077a9c37268-ds

"Angry parishioners have been battling for two years with a mystery vandal" - the vandalism appears to be that they keep painting "TOILET" on the toilets ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 21 April, 2016, 01:29:18 pm
'There is no need to paint signs.'
I suspect there is and 'vandal' is frustrated local who keeps getting asked.

A long-distance traveller who is busting for a pee needs to know QUICKLY...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 21 April, 2016, 01:38:41 pm
Quote from: The churchwarden
"I have found it all very distressing and I haven't been able to sleep,'' she said. "I'm not sure what they are going to do next"

I think I can guess ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 26 April, 2016, 11:30:41 am
Whatever it is that you're doing that you can keep it up 'til the cows come home, you can stop now.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-36127712 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-36127712)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 26 April, 2016, 05:41:40 pm
Peacocks and peahens get up to Mischief.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-36140145 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-36140145)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 28 April, 2016, 10:38:02 am
Graffiti? Or sensible road markings
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-36131416 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-36131416)
Quote
A mystery graffiti artist dubbed the "Phantom Aerosol" has spayed a series of DIY road markings to highlight dangers to cyclists.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 April, 2016, 01:05:20 pm
That is a bit like writing "Toilet" on a toilet, isn't it?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 April, 2016, 01:52:56 pm
It's all kicking off in Henley this week: Bin repainted (http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?tabp=y&id=199167)

Someone go and get a picture for the Bins for Jane thread!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 28 April, 2016, 02:24:40 pm
It's not bang-up-to-date but this is a wonderfully insightful opinion piece. (http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/Simon-Bates-BBC-Radio-Devon-rubbish-says-Deborah/story-25861784-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 30 April, 2016, 05:35:16 pm
Harpic and Domestos again; oh dear!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-36178327 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-36178327)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 02 May, 2016, 11:21:46 am
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/police-called-as-waitrose-southend-coffee-machine-fight-ends-in-9-arrests/

Absolutely brilliant! The bit about the machine being out of action is perfectly true - I was there this morning and it led to customers talking to each other, I can tell you! There was even a discussion about the pronunciation of the word latté.

Quote
Horrified shopper Jemima Clenge said: ‘I am one of the fortunate ones who only wanted a simple and elegant black coffee, but the people in front of me turned into absolute animals when it emerged that there would be an extra wait for any milk-based coffee drinks. After a bit of pushing and shoving, a man in a The North Face waterproof jacket threw a punch at another man in a Cotton Traders rugby jersey, and two ladies were trying to strangle each other with hemp-based ethical carrier bags. It was like a scene from Platoon or something like that.’
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 03 May, 2016, 07:55:49 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14464537.Man_returns_home_in_early_hours_to_find_front_door_ajar/?ref=mrb&lp=26

I suspect alcohol was involved.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 May, 2016, 11:10:14 pm
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/99s-and-69s-parents-outraged-after-friendly-southend-ice-cream-van-lady-is-exposed-as-hooker/

Another excellent piece.  :D

Quote
Miss Jollop’s suspension means that there will no longer be any outlets for Giusloppi Ice Cream in Southend On Sea, and other local ices traders are getting ready to apply for exclusive trading rights on her patch. This isn’t the first time that an ice cream van owner has been suspended in Southend for getting involved in illegal activities, with more than 500 complaints being made in 2014 after Westcliff licensee Nigel Mugabe was caught funnelling profits from his soft scoop operation into Zimbabwean arms exports.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 04 May, 2016, 10:20:19 pm
No prizes for guessing where this story is set:

(https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7796/26726749152_e9f17d49cb_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/GHKznS)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on 04 May, 2016, 10:36:31 pm
Obviously not Gotham.


Yes, mine is the full-length black leather coat.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 May, 2016, 09:48:42 pm
It would work in a fair few towns; the Northampton goths used to hang out in St Giles' churchyard.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 06 May, 2016, 09:50:24 pm
It's Whitby!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 07 May, 2016, 10:52:59 am
Man trapped for 9 hours under cheese
http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/05/06/search-for-missing-person-after-shropshire-warehouse-collapse/free-lead2/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 07 May, 2016, 11:58:13 am
Man trapped for 9 hours under cheese
http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/05/06/search-for-missing-person-after-shropshire-warehouse-collapse/free-lead2/

Quote
“The shelves were 80 metres high stacked full of cheese.”
Read more at http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/05/06/search-for-missing-person-after-shropshire-warehouse-collapse/free-lead2/#oCEoKjcPaurLq00i.99

80 meters? really? Or is that some sub editor adding a zero?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 07 May, 2016, 12:30:24 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iMjFoT7yWE
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: David Martin on 07 May, 2016, 07:35:37 pm
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/rampage/wp/2016/05/07/ivy-league-economist-interrogated-for-doing-math-on-american-airlines-flight/
Member of Al-gebra, or drinking and deriving?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 07 May, 2016, 09:18:01 pm
Well, Hmm, yebbut.
I'd not expect a member of the general public to recognise mathematical notation.

It's probably reasonable to flag a concern on the flimsy basis that someone's behaviour seems 'not quite right', however wrong you may be.
But the response needs to be proportionate to the flimsiness of the concern.

Perhaps if he'd just responded along the lines of 'Oh, no. I'm just going to a conference, and I've got these really hard maths problems to solve before I get there.' would have worked better for all concerned.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 08 May, 2016, 10:53:37 am
Well you can't be too careful with these weapons of math destruction.

As for recognising mathematical symbols - I once whiled away an extremely boring works meeting by doing some of my OU maths assignment on my notepad, the person sitting next to me later remarked how impressed she was that I was taking notes of the meeting in shorthand  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on 08 May, 2016, 02:56:20 pm
It would work in a fair few towns; the Northampton goths used to hang out in St Giles' churchyard.

Or outside McDonald's, ready for the showdown with the Spooky kids
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 May, 2016, 08:24:28 pm
Well, Hmm, yebbut.
I'd not expect a member of the general public to recognise mathematical notation.

Herein lies a large chunk of what's wrong with society.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 10 May, 2016, 04:29:16 pm
A propos of the Waitrose barney as described in Southend News Network, above, I give you this:-

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14480816.Police_called_to_break_up_fights_over_parking_spaces_as_thousands_flock_to_Southend_seafront/?ref=mrb&lp=2

Sadly, I fear that fighting over parking spaces is quite normal in Southend.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 10 May, 2016, 06:15:25 pm
A propos of the Waitrose barney as described in Southend News Network, above, I give you this:-

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14480816.Police_called_to_break_up_fights_over_parking_spaces_as_thousands_flock_to_Southend_seafront/?ref=mrb&lp=2

Sadly, I fear that fighting over parking spaces is quite normal in England.

FTFY.

The story could almost have been rewritten verbatim substituting 'Ruislip Lido' for Southend.

Hillingdon Council have enlarged and resurfaced the car park at the Lido without changing the the approach roads. Resulting gridlock meant only those on foot had any chance of arrival.
David waited ages for a bus but then couldn't board due to overcrowding. Buses were cancelled or turned early in the gridlock.
Some folk will no doubt believe that creating more parking will improve matters.
Bless!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 May, 2016, 09:51:40 am
http://m.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14478659.Honesty_shop_closes_due_to_dishonesty/?ref=ar
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: David Martin on 11 May, 2016, 12:44:30 pm
Something a bit fishy here..  https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/strange-tail-of-trout-fish-found-in-post-boxes-across-west-dundee/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 May, 2016, 08:02:45 pm
This fishy crime would never have happened on Chris Grayling's watch.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 May, 2016, 08:17:27 pm
Just don't :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 15 May, 2016, 08:59:45 pm

UPDATE: Shocked Exeter residents tell of armed police operation following pizza toppings assault (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/UPDATE-Police-issue-statement-armed-police-arrest/story-29275688-detail/story.html)

It's the Domino effect.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 15 May, 2016, 10:24:07 pm
Just don't :demon:
So I can't mention First Ministers of Scotland?  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 15 May, 2016, 10:34:34 pm
Football match in Manchester cancelled because someone left a dummy bomb behind after a training exercise.  :facepalm:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36297390 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36297390)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: bernard on 16 May, 2016, 12:55:57 pm
Graffiti artist targets Stroud potholes with huge penis (http://www.gloucestercitizen.co.uk/Graffiti-artist-targets-Stroud-potholes-huge/story-29278244-detail/story.html#ixzz48oppE6Kr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 17 May, 2016, 10:09:07 am
This is the sort of accident you get in North Yorkshire market towns. Never mind a brick through your window what about a straw bale ?

http://www.gazetteherald.co.uk/news/14482590.Straw_bales_smash_through_Malton_shop_window___with_pictures/?ref=mr&lp=18


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 24 May, 2016, 02:36:57 pm
Some Christian on Christian violence in Norwich.

http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/crime/supporter_headbutts_fan_during_christian_league_youth_tournament_in_norwich_1_4547027 (http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/crime/supporter_headbutts_fan_during_christian_league_youth_tournament_in_norwich_1_4547027)

A little old lady proved to be a reliable witness

"A 63-year-old woman, who lives in the Sale Road area, but who did not want to be named, did not see the incident but said there were lots of people watching."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 May, 2016, 10:09:02 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14512841.Don_t_let_your_dog_suffer_kebab_horror_this_barbecue_season/?ref=mr&lp=12

Sadly this isn't a cautionary tale of what hot chilli sauce can do to a dog's rear end, nor is it a solution to the mystery of how your local Turkish food emporium can sell you a full pound of "lamb" for only £3.50.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 24 May, 2016, 10:24:30 pm
Cornwall taxi service takes the PISS.
But not for long.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-36370028 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-36370028)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 26 May, 2016, 11:23:59 am
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 May, 2016, 11:40:04 am
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Good to see Bell End in top position.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 26 May, 2016, 12:39:55 pm


Good to see Bell End in top position.

That's begging a smutty response but my smut box is not working atm.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: robgul on 26 May, 2016, 12:50:07 pm
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Good to see Bell End in top position.

.. and at #8 - I was slightly shocked last week when riding through Upton-on-Severn (Worcs) to have the word Minge pop up on the OS map screen on my Garmin (perhaps "pop up" isn't quite the expression, but you know what I mean)

Rob
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 May, 2016, 06:28:15 pm
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Dr Larrington lived in #10 from that list as a Penniless Student Oafette.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 28 May, 2016, 12:57:39 am
None of them as good as Nob End. Which is near Ringley, believe it or not...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 28 May, 2016, 11:15:16 am
I see Nob End is listed but I thought there was a Knob End within cycling distance of here, possibly in Hertfordshire.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 28 May, 2016, 03:48:05 pm
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14510716.Mum_punched_in_face_as_row_over_naughty_children_sparks_pub_brawl/?ref=ar

I would have preferred this to have been in the Southend News Network, but sadly it's true.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 May, 2016, 10:36:42 pm
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Good to see Bell End in top position.
I used to ride through Bell End quite often with Beacon RCC but never saw an actual sign.  It does appear on an OS map, though.

I'm indebted to mattc for pointing out the truly obscene Cumnor Rise Road (say it quickly) in Oxford.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 29 May, 2016, 11:16:25 pm
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Good to see Bell End in top position.
I used to ride through Bell End quite often with Beacon RCC but never saw an actual sign.  It does appear on an OS map, though.

I'm indebted to mattc for pointing out the truly obscene Cumnor Rise Road (say it quickly) in Oxford.

If you say it quickly in Cambridge it sounds just as rude.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on 29 May, 2016, 11:27:27 pm
and if you cycle up Gospel Pass, you are sure to admire Lord Hereford's Knob
(twmpa in Welsh)

I think some forumites admired his outline on a Saturday morning foray.....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on 29 May, 2016, 11:30:39 pm
meanwhile, further along the track in Wales

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/fears-sheep-may-go-on-psychotic-rampage-through-welsh-village-after-eating-fly-tipped-cannabis-a7049326.html (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/fears-sheep-may-go-on-psychotic-rampage-through-welsh-village-after-eating-fly-tipped-cannabis-a7049326.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 May, 2016, 11:34:59 pm
and if you cycle up Gospel Pass, you are sure to admire Lord Hereford's Knob
(twmpa in Welsh)

I think some forumites admired his outline on a Saturday morning foray.....

Which is, of course, famed in Song if not Legend:

Quote from: nb10
Twmpa, Twmpa, you'd better bring a jumper
It gets pretty chilly on top of Lord Hereford's Knob
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 02 June, 2016, 12:14:41 pm
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Fanny Burn (http://www.streetmap.co.uk/map.srf?x=300500&y=706500&z=120&sv=fanny+burn) is missing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 03 June, 2016, 12:00:17 am
and if you cycle up Gospel Pass, you are sure to admire Lord Hereford's Knob
(twmpa in Welsh)

I think some forumites admired his outline on a Saturday morning foray.....


Many years ago I found tyre tracks on Lord Hereford's Knob.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 04 June, 2016, 11:05:40 am
"Testicles the size of an avocado" (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/Man-testicles-size-avocado-banned-Matalan-stores/story-29275318-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 07 June, 2016, 01:48:45 pm
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14540444.Policeman_with__I_love_weed__hat_faces__misconduct_hearing/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 08 June, 2016, 01:20:11 pm
http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/honeymoon-ends-tears-after-visit-11420094
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 08 June, 2016, 02:05:35 pm
http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/honeymoon-ends-tears-after-visit-11420094
That woman needs to get some f**king perspective in her life.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 June, 2016, 08:13:44 pm
And to stop carrying a teddy bear!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 10 June, 2016, 09:35:57 am
Too "good" a news story for this thread, but also too good not to post *somewhere*:

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/seagull-turned-bright-orange-after-11448715
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on 10 June, 2016, 10:01:59 am
Person parks car shocker (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/06/10/smart-car-driver-finds-squeezes-in-to-space-on-shropshire-street/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 10 June, 2016, 12:32:48 pm
Too "good" a news story for this thread, but also too good not to post *somewhere*:

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/seagull-turned-bright-orange-after-11448715

Mr Larrington did, somewhere else.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 10 June, 2016, 09:31:17 pm
People don't take their litter home and are labelled irresponsible by council that removed bins to save money.
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14548817.__39_Irresponsible_late_night_litterers__39__to_blame_for_overflowing_Christchurch_bins/?ref=mr&lp=19 (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14548817.__39_Irresponsible_late_night_litterers__39__to_blame_for_overflowing_Christchurch_bins/?ref=mr&lp=19)

Quelle surprise!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 11 June, 2016, 09:40:37 am
Speeder caught doing 110mph "wanted to get home to see his dog" (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14550627.Speeder_caught_doing_110mph__wanted_to_get_home_to_see_his_dog_/?ref=mr&lp=14)  See picture of Dog.

 Drifting cruise liner rescued by firefighters
 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14550838.Drifting_cruise_liner_rescued_by_firefighters/?ref=mr&lp=15)

On the River Ouse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 June, 2016, 11:02:38 am
Speeder caught doing 110mph "wanted to get home to see his dog" (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14550627.Speeder_caught_doing_110mph__wanted_to_get_home_to_see_his_dog_/?ref=mr&lp=14)  See picture of Dog.
Library picture of generic dog, in fact.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Asterix, the former Gaul. on 11 June, 2016, 11:22:27 am
Speeder caught doing 110mph "wanted to get home to see his dog" (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14550627.Speeder_caught_doing_110mph__wanted_to_get_home_to_see_his_dog_/?ref=mr&lp=14)  See picture of Dog.
Library picture of generic dog, in fact.

Exactly.  AKA not trying too hard.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 27 June, 2016, 02:51:00 pm
Thanks Farage, Gove and Johnson for giving utter twats the green light...

Quote
Anti-Polish cards in Huntingdon after EU referendum
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-36633388 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-36633388)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 July, 2016, 09:22:40 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14613205.Anger_as_grass_cutters_leave_a_mess/

Poor quality grass cutting in Swindon.  First Brexit, now this.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 July, 2016, 06:48:40 pm
http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/middlesbrough-train-late-after-escaped-11622537

Worth it for the Pokemon reference at the end.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 17 July, 2016, 07:53:50 pm
http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/middlesbrough-train-late-after-escaped-11622537

Worth it for the Pokemon reference at the end.



being delayed on the way to Middlesbrough is a bonus.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 18 July, 2016, 03:51:27 pm
Quote
TransPennine Express says Friday’s train from Manchester to Middlesbrough was late by 14 minutes after it escaped from a farm which caused “mayhem” on the track.

Shirley, if it hadn't escaped from the farm it wouldn't have got to Middlesbrough at all. ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 July, 2016, 12:14:32 pm
http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/man-builds-his-own-brexit-border-control-out-of-wheelie-bins/story-29531770-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 21 July, 2016, 01:11:45 pm
that paper is amazing.

http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/the-steps-are-too-tall-you-tell-us-why-you-re-snubbing-the-bridge/story-29462277-detail/story.html (http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/the-steps-are-too-tall-you-tell-us-why-you-re-snubbing-the-bridge/story-29462277-detail/story.html)
Quote
"Put a chip shop at the top. That way people will use it."
It's like the Southend News network, except that it is real.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 July, 2016, 04:18:17 pm
Quote
TransPennine Express says Friday’s train from Manchester to Middlesbrough was late by 14 minutes after it escaped from a farm which caused “mayhem” on the track.

Shirley, if it hadn't escaped from the farm it wouldn't have got to Middlesbrough at all. ???
I reckon Middlesbrough is a pretty good place for a train farm. Or have I misunderstood and it was actually a mayhem farm? Is that a variety of maize?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on 21 July, 2016, 05:55:55 pm
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 22 July, 2016, 12:20:25 am
Happy ending cos we all need cheering up...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-36860621 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-36860621)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 July, 2016, 12:21:51 am
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

Or Derby.  Maybe that's just battery trains, rather than the free-range ones.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 22 July, 2016, 09:17:43 am
Some nice news from Sheffield.

Quote
Children find Sheffield burglary victim's jewellery


A woman who had jewellery stolen in a burglary three years ago has been reunited with it thanks to children who found it in woodland.
Doris Wilcock, 93, from Sheffield, said she was over the moon after South Yorkshire Police returned some of the stolen items.
They were found by Tyler and Amelia Exelby, who thought they had found some lost treasure.
Mrs Wilcock met with the children to thank them.
She told Tyler, 10, and Amelia, nine,: "You are my heroes."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-36860621 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-36860621)
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 22 July, 2016, 09:48:51 am
Good  thing they weren't playing Pokémon instead!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 22 July, 2016, 01:42:18 pm
Bzzzt!  :) ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 July, 2016, 02:20:15 pm
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

Or Derby.  Maybe that's just battery trains, rather than the free-range ones.

Whither Crewe?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 26 July, 2016, 06:00:17 pm
Anyone ever driven to a football match and forgotten where they left the car?

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/mystery-deepens-over-liverpool-fc-11665875 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/mystery-deepens-over-liverpool-fc-11665875)

My initial thought was that it must have been stolen but apparently not.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 July, 2016, 09:47:47 pm
Very special fried rice.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14643448.Father_speaks_of_his_disgust_after_discovering_rubber_dummy_in_bag_of_Iceland_rice/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 26 July, 2016, 11:44:37 pm
Dummy's gone to Iceland!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 27 July, 2016, 12:16:10 pm
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

Or Derby.  Maybe that's just battery trains, rather than the free-range ones.

Whither Crewe?
It has, rather.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 July, 2016, 06:12:10 am
http://m.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14644550.Man_had_cocaine_under_foreskin_while_naked_in_Homebase_car_park/

How gloriously sleazy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 28 July, 2016, 07:17:45 am
It is says something for Swindon that it was shouting and making a nuisance of  himself that got the members of public to take action, not the nakedness.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 28 July, 2016, 09:41:57 am
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

It was for 150 years. The A3 Pacifics (Flying Scotsman etc) and the A4 Pacifics (Mallard etc) were built there and diesel locos after the end of steam. I visited several times for open days with my Dad who worked for BR for decades. It was closed in 2007 and demolished to make way for a housing estate :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 July, 2016, 09:18:46 pm
The Pacific builds were split between Darlington and Doncaster (North British also built some under contract).   Darlington was the old NER works and Doncaster the old GNR works.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 28 July, 2016, 10:21:06 pm
It is says something for Swindon that it was shouting and making a nuisance of  himself that got the members of public to take action, not the nakedness.
Painful as it is to say something positive about Swindonites, I must agree.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 03 August, 2016, 02:02:34 pm
An everyday story of villainy. http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/man-struck-in-the-head-by-gang-of-youths-in-surrey-as-he-tried-to-prevent-them-stealing-motorbikes/story-29576036-detail/story.html (http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/man-struck-in-the-head-by-gang-of-youths-in-surrey-as-he-tried-to-prevent-them-stealing-motorbikes/story-29576036-detail/story.html)

But who's that investigating?


Quote
Investigating officer PC Bear Grilli said: "The victim has stepped in and tried to stop the group of youths from taking the motorbikes and has ended up being assaulted for his trouble.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 03 August, 2016, 05:56:22 pm
Alleged drug dealer hides cocaine wrap NSFW
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: marcusjb on 03 August, 2016, 09:04:38 pm
Local road closure may require the launch of a hardship fund as the cost of taxis may be increased for those off to watch the polo:

"Ham Polo club manager Robert Allton said he feared the need to take detours could both discourage visitors and drive up taxi fares for those who do travel to the polo grounds."

These are very troubling times!

http://www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/14659977.Richmond_Park_traffic_jams_and_long_detours_through_Kingston__caused_by_Petersham_Road_closure_/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on 03 August, 2016, 09:42:28 pm
Recall Parliament!  Something Must Be Done!



Taxis?  I guess if they don't have their own chauffeurs then an increase in a taxi fair would be noticeable.  It's what happens when you let the middle classes in, I assume.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Poacher on 04 August, 2016, 08:15:34 am
Out of all the hordes of mobility scooters in East Lincolnshire, it's inevitable that some drivers are over the limit:
http://lincolnshirereporter.co.uk/2016/08/man-charged-with-mobility-scooter-drink-driving-after-skegness-mcdonalds-standoff/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 August, 2016, 01:13:22 pm
Out of all the hordes of mobility scooters in East Lincolnshire, it's inevitable that some drivers are over the limit:
http://lincolnshirereporter.co.uk/2016/08/man-charged-with-mobility-scooter-drink-driving-after-skegness-mcdonalds-standoff/

I note that they've avoided committing journalism and not said anything about *why* the staff refused to serve him.  Was he too drunk and obnoxious to purchase a McNasty burger, or did he fall foul of some zero tolerance audaxer policy?  The public wants to know...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 09 August, 2016, 03:36:03 pm
Seagull Tandoori

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-37015956 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-37015956)

Seems it's the second one to do it which makes you wonder exactly what the rules are for storing cooking ingredients in South Wales.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 09 August, 2016, 03:47:03 pm
Out of all the hordes of mobility scooters in East Lincolnshire, it's inevitable that some drivers are over the limit:
http://lincolnshirereporter.co.uk/2016/08/man-charged-with-mobility-scooter-drink-driving-after-skegness-mcdonalds-standoff/

I note that they've avoided committing journalism and not said anything about *why* the staff refused to serve him.  Was he too drunk and obnoxious to purchase a McNasty burger, or did he fall foul of some zero tolerance audaxer policy?  The public wants to know...

I think the roolz are cars only in the drive-thru. I recall a horse rider (onna horse at the time) being refused service too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 09 August, 2016, 07:09:44 pm
https://www.facebook.com/southendnewsnetwork/videos/1047567521989387/

Very amusing!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 12 August, 2016, 10:48:21 am
There goes the neighborhood! Any thoughts, Wow...?

http://www.rayleighexpress.com/#!Southend-POLICE-Face-BAN-from-Buying-Lunch-in-Uniform/cjds/57ab42360cf2911bc51f1c1b
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 12 August, 2016, 07:36:41 pm
I think it's silly silly season satire.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 14 August, 2016, 12:16:14 pm
I see two of Dorset's lovely beaches are amongst the best nationwide for 4G signal.
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14679434.The_two_Dorset_beaches_ranked_best_in_the_UK_for_4G_signal/?ref=mr&lp=7 (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14679434.The_two_Dorset_beaches_ranked_best_in_the_UK_for_4G_signal/?ref=mr&lp=7)

I don't think 4G signal approaches my list of criteria for choosing a beach. I like:
Soft Sand
Clean water
Safe swimming
Good weather
Nice food
Various amusements & things to do
Easy transport

Call me old-fashioned...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 August, 2016, 01:57:13 pm
To which I will add "a taciturn Mexican with a pickup truck full of sturdy giant toe straps to haul damnfool tourists' cars out of soft sand".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 14 August, 2016, 02:05:59 pm
And I'll add "absence of smokers".

Seriously, there are few things in life as repulsive as wading barefoot through someone else's ash tray.   :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 14 August, 2016, 02:11:39 pm
Dog turds on those beaches where it is permitted to 'exercise' empty dogs... :sick:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 14 August, 2016, 02:18:14 pm
To which I will add "a taciturn Mexican with a pickup truck full of sturdy giant toe straps to haul damnfool tourists' cars out of soft sand".
Ya godda hand it to dem Mexicans; they sure do have 'em some stuuurdy  toe straps!    /badtexanaccent
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 14 August, 2016, 04:38:25 pm
And I'll add "absence of smokers".

Seriously, there are few things in life as repulsive as wading barefoot through someone else's ash tray.   :hand:

Oh, yes.   Building a sandcastle in someone else's ash tray comes close though.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Charlotte on 19 August, 2016, 01:53:58 pm
Quote
Ealing Based North Korean Deputy Ambassador Defects To South

http://www.ealingtoday.co.uk/default.asp?section=info&page=eanorthkorea001.htm
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DrMekon on 19 August, 2016, 03:54:54 pm
Quote
Why does Hull smell?

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/mystery-smell-sensed-in-hull-city-centre/story-29634127-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 21 August, 2016, 09:51:21 pm
And I'll add "absence of smokers".

Seriously, there are few things in life as repulsive as wading barefoot through someone else's ash tray.   :hand:

Oh, yes.   Building a sandcastle in someone else's ash tray comes close though.

Ooh, this (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place/Praia+da+Adraga/@38.8036198,-9.4849409,3a,75y,90t/data=!3m8!1e2!3m6!1s-csQnnXJOQew%2FV7IowudYoeI%2FAAAAAAAAVPw%2F9MoJaYY00L4wdy6XopAZMjO_oyKNedUkACLIB!2e4!3e12!6s%2F%2Flh4.googleusercontent.com%2F-csQnnXJOQew%2FV7IowudYoeI%2FAAAAAAAAVPw%2F9MoJaYY00L4wdy6XopAZMjO_oyKNedUkACLIB%2Fs270-k-no%2F!7i3120!8i4160!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x2032e3358d8d55d0!8m2!3d38.8042537!4d-9.4848061!6m1!1e1?hl=en=) seems like a reasonable idea! 

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 31 August, 2016, 09:56:19 pm
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/were-hundreds-cyclists-riding-through-11826347

This from a city where Critical Mass regularly struggles to achieve double figures.   :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 31 August, 2016, 10:25:56 pm
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

It was for 150 years. The A3 Pacifics (Flying Scotsman etc) and the A4 Pacifics (Mallard etc) were built there and diesel locos after the end of steam. I visited several times for open days with my Dad who worked for BR for decades. It was closed in 2007 and demolished to make way for a housing estate :(

Last time I was passing through king's cross I noticed a new statue of Nigel Gresley, looks like your typical engineer to me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 31 August, 2016, 10:40:25 pm
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/were-hundreds-cyclists-riding-through-11826347

This from a city where Critical Mass regularly struggles to achieve double figures.   :o

Very good.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on 31 August, 2016, 11:00:28 pm
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/were-hundreds-cyclists-riding-through-11826347

This from a city where Critical Mass regularly struggles to achieve double figures.   :o

Very good.   :thumbsup:

“There were a lot of them, they looked like teenagers. They seemed like they were having fun, doing wheelies and some had some masks on."

It sounds terrible. I think they should be banned.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on 01 September, 2016, 08:13:15 am
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

It was for 150 years. The A3 Pacifics (Flying Scotsman etc) and the A4 Pacifics (Mallard etc) were built there and diesel locos after the end of steam. I visited several times for open days with my Dad who worked for BR for decades. It was closed in 2007 and demolished to make way for a housing estate :(

Last time I was passing through king's cross I noticed a new statue of Nigel Gresley, looks like your typical engineer to me.

Only the statue isn't complete!  The duck is missing!
For those who don't understand, the statue as originally designed, and approved by those who paid for it, included a mallard duck, as a nod to the locomotive Mallard, and the fact that he liked ducks, and had mallards in his garden.  this would also have engaged the public, who would have wondered why that old bloke had a duck by him, and looked to see why.  However, his grandson, who was not paying for it, insisted that the duck was "demeaning" so it was removed, which has caused major grief in the Gresley society, which is composed largely of old fossils with no sense of humour, (sadly the more interesting ones left in disgust at the serious failure of democracy that had been committed). 

Now what is the grandson's profession?  Go on, have a guess.... 

He's a duck breeder... You couldn't make it up.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 September, 2016, 01:33:24 pm
What duck?
</pTerry>
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Speshact on 07 September, 2016, 06:50:04 pm
http://www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/did-you-see-the-grain-102075/
Medway spectators miss chimney demolition as looking the wrong way
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 07 September, 2016, 10:33:01 pm
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/were-hundreds-cyclists-riding-through-11826347

This from a city where Critical Mass regularly struggles to achieve double figures.   :o

Quote
He said: “A hang-on-the-back and do wheelies on the Coventry Road charity bike ride. There were 200 of them, all across the road, no helmuts or anything on. It was pretty dangerous. I was on the bus and there were a couple of them banging on the bus.”

What have the Germans done for us?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 09 September, 2016, 09:02:22 pm
From that twitter,

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cr725HTWIAA-LuG.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 September, 2016, 03:48:57 pm
Car keys found (http://www.wiltsglosstandard.co.uk/news/14738896.Car_keys_found_in_Bourton_on_the_Water_held_at_Stow_on_the_Wold_police_station/?ref=mr&lp=15)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 18 September, 2016, 12:35:51 pm
Hope the yacf ironometer is working...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-37395593 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-37395593)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 18 September, 2016, 12:44:40 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 21 September, 2016, 02:05:06 pm
Family of sweet shop thieves return to pay.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-37427897 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-37427897)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 September, 2016, 08:35:32 pm
Laundering (http://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/egan-170k-in-mint-gold-allegedly-smuggled-in-body-cavity-judge-hears), you say...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 23 September, 2016, 10:18:34 pm
Laundering (http://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/egan-170k-in-mint-gold-allegedly-smuggled-in-body-cavity-judge-hears), you say...

Added a missing = sign for ease of use.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 23 September, 2016, 10:27:35 pm
Laundering (http://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/egan-170k-in-mint-gold-allegedly-smuggled-in-body-cavity-judge-hears), you say...

Who does he think he is, Tywin Lannister?  :demon:

ETA - And the judge's name... http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=doody  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 September, 2016, 10:46:40 pm
Thanks. I fixed it!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 27 September, 2016, 01:04:47 pm
Quote
'Painful erection' spiders found in family's fruit

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-37472013 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-37472013)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 September, 2016, 12:41:54 pm
A nice yicky one from Swindon

http://m.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14768736.Family_s_shock_as_dog_urine_pours_through_ceiling/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PaulF on 29 September, 2016, 11:34:22 am
Quote
An employee at Abingdon Health and Wellbeing Centre, who wished to remain anonymous, said: "There is something going on but I do not know what.

"Somebody came in and said police cars are outside but I have not seen any.

"We are open as normal."



http://www.oxfordtimes.co.uk/news/14766465.Large_police_presence_and_helicopter_hovering_in_Abingdon/?ref=mr&lp=18
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 29 September, 2016, 07:40:45 pm
"Woman pictured performing sex act with dinosaur an 'all time low' for Exmouth"

Apparently is was a model of a T-Rex emerging from its shell.

Link to Excess and Error (as our local rag is nicknamed) (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/adult-performing-sex-act-with-dinosaur-sparks-an-all-time-low-for-exmouth/story-29758442-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 02 October, 2016, 11:47:44 am
Blimey, I hope the people of Exmouth don't learn where those children once emerged from.

Isn't there's an entire dino-sex thing going on anyway?

And where's the head?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 October, 2016, 09:23:19 pm
Long wait over as Kent County Council agree to replace crushed bollard in Sandwich (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/sandwich/news/crushed-bollard-to-finally-be-103662/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 October, 2016, 09:26:37 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14789188.Swindon_railway_station_prepares_for_the_arrival_of_electricity/ (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14789188.Swindon_railway_station_prepares_for_the_arrival_of_electricity/)

We'll have hot running water and dial-up internet by 2050, you mark my words.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 08 October, 2016, 09:44:45 pm
It must have been a slow news day at my local rag yesterday:

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/fleas-with-massive-penises-could-invade-bedrooms-this-autumn-in-their-millions-1-7618780
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 October, 2016, 09:47:17 pm
"Fancy coming back to my place?  I'm hung like a flea."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 09 October, 2016, 11:59:16 pm
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/boy-hidden-message-heineken-bottle-hampshire-men-cocaine-coke-a7350921.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 10 October, 2016, 12:34:00 pm
Blimey, I hope the people of Exmouth don't learn where those children once emerged from.

Isn't there's an entire dino-sex thing going on anyway?

And where's the head?

The head went in a separate vandal attack – no known sexual motive.   See also the psychedelic rhinos in the area.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 October, 2016, 09:25:06 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14791078.UPDATE__Multiple_clown_sightings_cause_panic_across_Swindon/?ref=ar
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 10 October, 2016, 09:58:48 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14791078.UPDATE__Multiple_clown_sightings_cause_panic_across_Swindon/?ref=ar

The Shadow Cabinet have been out canvassing, then?  :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on 10 October, 2016, 10:04:14 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14791078.UPDATE__Multiple_clown_sightings_cause_panic_across_Swindon/?ref=ar

The Shadow Cabinet have been out canvassing, then?  :demon:

There are close to 600 clowns in parliament.   The SNP have thus far imo proven to behave with greater wisdom and intellect than the established bunch.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 October, 2016, 10:05:42 pm
I tell you what, I'd be bricking it if I were booked to open a new fast-food outlet as Ronald McDonald in the next three weeks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 October, 2016, 01:01:56 pm
Top Tip: When threatened by a clown while driving your motor-car, do not drive away from the clown at high speed, thereby risking an accident.  Instead, jam it into first, floor it and drive straight at the japester while shouting "Laugh THIS off, you red-nosed jizzbadger", and let Darwin sort it out.

Bonus points for pouring a bucket of whitewash over the twitching, bleeding corpse :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 11 October, 2016, 01:08:27 pm
People are scared of idiots dressed as clowns? Grow up and scare them off.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 October, 2016, 01:15:09 pm
Apparently some of the clowns are tooled-up with hammers, baseball bats and similar Heavy Things.  This may stack the odds in their favour.  Shoot them and burn the bodies.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 October, 2016, 01:51:44 pm
It's getting serious: Clowns hit out at 'creepy' pranksters (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-37611993)

I thought that sort of thing was reserved for when a member of $ethnic_minority committed a terror offence.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 11 October, 2016, 01:57:22 pm
Beginning to sound like something from Terry Pratchett.

[I can't remember which book had the bit about clown guilds, funerals etc - but it was bloody funny]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 October, 2016, 02:10:10 pm
I tell you what, I'd be bricking it if I were booked to open a new fast-food outlet as Ronald McDonald in the next three weeks.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-37630460
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 October, 2016, 03:09:53 pm
I tell you what, I'd be bricking it if I were booked to open a new fast-food outlet as Ronald McDonald in the next three weeks.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-37630460

Well, there had to be at least one good thing to come out of it :thumbsup:

According to some prawn on Friendspace it is also deterring Small People from going out on the streets and Demanding Money Goods with Menaces (I believe it's also known as "Trick Or Treat").  If this is the case the butler will be relieved as he won't have to set up those automatically-trigged Spandaus I bought from the nice ex-Stasi officer at a car boot sale in Frankfurt an der Oder a few years back.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 12 October, 2016, 04:07:34 pm
The headline writers at bbc.co.uk are treating clownageddon with a touch of tongue in their cheek. Here are the 3 "related" stories:


Creepy clown craze: How dangerous are clowns really? 

Creepy clown craze: 'Nobody's laughing' 

'Creepy clown' sorry for chainsaw stunt amid rise in sightings 

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 October, 2016, 05:13:12 pm
Tiger sausage rolls might bite back (or give you the shits a little)

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14797614.Recall_on_allergen_sausage_rolls/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 17 October, 2016, 04:30:50 pm
Local man doesn't actually manage something  (http://www.walesfarmer.co.uk/sport/14806051.So_close_to_ultimate_feat_for_Cardigan_darts_man/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on 18 October, 2016, 10:31:34 pm
Model company aims for realism (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/business/hornby-rail-replacement-bus-set/)  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 18 October, 2016, 11:13:02 pm
Model company aims for realism (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/business/hornby-rail-replacement-bus-set/)  :D

You do realise that it's a (mostly) fake news site, don't you?  ;)

Quote
You couldn’t make it up. Suffolk is full of strange and wonderful stories, and our tales explode across social media and get repeated by gullible mainstream media, including Sky News and national newspapers.

Join our vibrant Facebook page for updates and ensuing hilarity whenever someone comments after believing something we have written.

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/about/

;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on 19 October, 2016, 04:12:40 am
Yes, I was assuming it was the Suffolk equìvelent of Southend News Network.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 20 October, 2016, 11:30:20 am
Man steals Venetian blind

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-37695164 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-37695164)

Looking at the picture I'm amazed anyone spotted him.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on 20 October, 2016, 01:51:37 pm
Model company aims for realism (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/business/hornby-rail-replacement-bus-set/)  :D

You do realise that it's a (mostly) fake news site, don't you?  ;)

Quote
You couldn’t make it up. Suffolk is full of strange and wonderful stories, and our tales explode across social media and get repeated by gullible mainstream media, including Sky News and national newspapers.

Join our vibrant Facebook page for updates and ensuing hilarity whenever someone comments after believing something we have written.

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/about/

;)

Tim Dunn has been tweeting about his bloody rail replacement bus set for at least a couple of years now.  I always thought he was an amusing colleague, but since that Trainspotting Live programme, I pretend I don't know him!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 October, 2016, 01:18:59 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14816337.Bizarre_incident_in_which_a_line_of_chalk_appeared_on_garden_gate_investigated_by_police/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 25 October, 2016, 04:43:24 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37761668 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37761668)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 25 October, 2016, 04:52:19 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37761668 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37761668)

Quote
It is a phrase synonymous with 1990s ladette culture, used to define brash party girls in one part of England.

They appear to have misspelled "1970s sexist jokes".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 26 October, 2016, 02:48:24 pm
<Bzzzzt!>

The BBC is not a provincial news source.

The OED is not a provincial publication.

TOWIE was broadcast UK-wide (and beyond, no doubt!).

It's probably a serious issue, better discussed elsewhere. IMHO
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 28 October, 2016, 02:24:47 pm
"It's our Keith!" (http://www.droitwichadvertiser.co.uk/news/regional/14828435._It_s_our_Keith___Mum_believes_snake_discovered_in_family_s_car_on_M5_belongs_to_son/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 29 October, 2016, 12:19:38 am
Man suspected of supergluing doors shut (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-37800332)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 October, 2016, 07:38:29 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14830769.Mysterious_unicycle_path_causes_confusion_in_Old_Town/#comments-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 29 October, 2016, 10:13:11 am
I haven't put anything from our paper for a while. There hasn't been anything funny, and mostly the headlines seem to be associated with stabbings.  :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 30 October, 2016, 07:40:34 pm
Unless it is an arsonist burning out a mobile police station set up in association with the stabbings.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14832371.Arsonists_destroy_police_van_sent_to_reassure_residents_after_double_stabbing/

It could only happen in Southend.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 October, 2016, 10:23:24 pm
I sure it happens so often in ["The Death of the Soul" - Mr Sunshine] it no is longer deemed newsworthy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 31 October, 2016, 11:16:14 pm
Meanwhile, Southend News Network have put in their bid for this year's Christmas no 1.

https://www.facebook.com/southendnewsnetwork/videos/1159893347423470/

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on 01 November, 2016, 12:24:32 pm
http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/14833308.Carnforth_Civic_Hall_gets_new_vacuum_cleaner/

Welcome to my world...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 November, 2016, 01:18:42 pm
http://www.farnhamherald.com/article.cfm?id=114365&headline=Christmas%20shopping%20nad%20pampering%20experience&sectionIs=news&searchyear=2016

This is an utterly beguiling headline.  Surrey sounds more interesting than at first thought.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 01 November, 2016, 01:53:59 pm
http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/14833308.Carnforth_Civic_Hall_gets_new_vacuum_cleaner/

Welcome to my world...

 ;D

Do they still have the "Spot the sheepdog" competition?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 01 November, 2016, 01:55:44 pm
A file and polish sounds a bit extreme.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: peliroja on 01 November, 2016, 04:06:14 pm
Sort of on-topic, this amused us :)

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/10/woman-accidentally-steals-identical-subaru-in-portland.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 November, 2016, 04:09:53 pm
Sort of on-topic, this amused us :)

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/10/woman-accidentally-steals-identical-subaru-in-portland.html

Postman Piers's kevved-up Nova had the same key as my old Corsa.  This would have been much more amusing if they weren't fitted with additional security devices.

I suppose back in the day the only thing stopping people stealing cars by brute-force searching a car park with a handful of keys was that it was quicker to steal them by other methods.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 November, 2016, 06:01:46 pm
A cow-orker once heard her car alarm going off, She rushed to the car park at the back of the branch ti find a befuddled customer sitting in the wrong dark blue Maestro.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 01 November, 2016, 06:19:04 pm
Two from our local: -

Town Council has a meeting (http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/Town-council-set-to-meet-13b4be0a-9254-4ec1-903c-bf1d4ca87d7d-ds) (Seriously, that was the entire story)

Whitehaven post box to be replaced (http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/Whitehaven-postbox-to-be-replaced-08aa566c-db0c-4acc-8182-91fa3256003c-ds) - Driver crashes car into post box and breaks it, Royal Mail say they will put a post box back there again
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 November, 2016, 06:30:41 pm
Mystery solved over why tourists were visiting a village (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-37820663)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 01 November, 2016, 06:53:35 pm
Mystery solved over why tourists were visiting a village (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-37820663)
Worryingly, I immediately guessed what that story was about.

Boringly, the bbc have used almost all the same text+photos as when they ran the story in July
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36733450
 ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 November, 2016, 06:58:57 pm
China must be a festering hellhole.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 02 November, 2016, 12:45:46 pm
http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/man-cut-off-toe-in-sheffield-store-and-ate-it-1-8211676 (http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/man-cut-off-toe-in-sheffield-store-and-ate-it-1-8211676)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 02 November, 2016, 04:58:01 pm
Some good mangling of the language there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 02 November, 2016, 05:25:07 pm
Some good mangling of the language there.
ITYM mangling of the phalanges.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 15 November, 2016, 08:16:23 am
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14905347._Unbelievable____Learner_driver_and_supervisor_test_positive_for_drugs/#comments-anchor (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14905347._Unbelievable____Learner_driver_and_supervisor_test_positive_for_drugs/#comments-anchor)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 November, 2016, 08:08:30 pm
Pop star in Spinal Tap-esque bizarre varnish accident (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14906850.XTC_frontman_recovering_after_varnish_accident/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on 20 November, 2016, 12:35:04 am
Quote
The pheasant that thinks it's a sheepdog
A pheasant has been showing up to work everyday on a Cumbrian farm, and trying to join in with the sheepdogs.

http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/ (http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 20 November, 2016, 01:56:58 pm
Quote
The pheasant that thinks it's a sheepdog
A pheasant has been showing up to work everyday on a Cumbrian farm, and trying to join in with the sheepdogs.

http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/ (http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/)

Looks more like a pheasant using standard pheasant predator-avoidance tactics on a farmer's quad bike, to me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: benborp on 20 November, 2016, 04:07:27 pm
Quote
The pheasant that thinks it's a sheepdog
A pheasant has been showing up to work everyday on a Cumbrian farm, and trying to join in with the sheepdogs.

http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/ (http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/)

Looks more like a pheasant using standard pheasant predator-avoidance tactics on a farmer's quad bike, to me.

Speaking as the natural prey animal of the homing pheasant, the prospect of encountering one with the intellect of a collie is terrifying
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 24 November, 2016, 01:31:43 pm
Car parking in Brighton gets police attention.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14925830.Police_close_road_while_car_blocking_driveway_is_removed/#comments-anchor (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14925830.Police_close_road_while_car_blocking_driveway_is_removed/#comments-anchor)


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 24 November, 2016, 01:56:38 pm
Quote
The pheasant that thinks it's a sheepdog
A pheasant has been showing up to work everyday on a Cumbrian farm, and trying to join in with the sheepdogs.

http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/ (http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/)

Looks more like a pheasant using standard pheasant predator-avoidance tactics on a farmer's quad bike, to me.

Speaking as the natural prey animal of the homing pheasant, the prospect of encountering one with the intellect of a collie is terrifying

Our neighbours have a collie with the intellect of a pheasant...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 27 November, 2016, 09:54:48 am
Sun clears fog from River Clyde (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-38107767).

Seriously!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 29 November, 2016, 01:18:04 am
Breaking news in Rosedale:

(https://c1.staticflickr.com/6/5544/30485034624_5e5e823df7_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/NrRLHf)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 November, 2016, 08:59:06 am
Ah yes, they do chew up the grass a bit.

(http://resources.carsguide.com.au/dodge-ram-pickup-(5).jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 01 December, 2016, 12:44:53 am
That picture of a bloated motor vehicle leads nicely into this week's gem from the Portsmouth News:

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/politics/bentley-driving-travellers-given-notice-to-leave-portsmouth-tax-office-site-1-7706754
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 December, 2016, 08:34:29 am
Quote
Bentley with a tow bar Class

 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 December, 2016, 05:43:20 pm
Immigrants are going to steal Christmas (http://m.plymouthherald.co.uk/immigrant-moths-are-threatening-steal-brussels-sprouts-off-your-christmas-dinner-table/story-29946939-detail/story.html#U5480jjqMBLyss7s.99)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 December, 2016, 07:35:45 pm
Immigrants are going to steal Christmas (http://m.plymouthherald.co.uk/immigrant-moths-are-threatening-steal-brussels-sprouts-off-your-christmas-dinner-table/story-29946939-detail/story.html#U5480jjqMBLyss7s.99)

I can't decide whether that site is another Southend News Network or whether it's just been infiltrated by the readers of Angry People In Local Newspapers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 01 December, 2016, 07:38:24 pm
Quote
Bentley with a tow bar Class

 ;D

They have moved on, to Southampton. (http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/crime/portsmouth-s-posh-travellers-on-the-move-to-southampton-1-7708263)

<beat>

Thus raising the tone of both cities.  :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 01 December, 2016, 07:49:06 pm
Immigrants are going to steal Christmas (http://m.plymouthherald.co.uk/immigrant-moths-are-threatening-steal-brussels-sprouts-off-your-christmas-dinner-table/story-29946939-detail/story.html#U5480jjqMBLyss7s.99)

I can't decide whether that site is another Southend News Network or whether it's just been infiltrated by the readers of Angry People In Local Newspapers.
I *THINK* the stories are genuine, and no dafter than many local papers.

But it looks a fabulous place to work - any headline gets thru, no matter how ludicrous/misleading:
Your individual Chicken McNuggets have names, McDonald's reveals (http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/your-chicken-mcnuggets-have-names-mcdonald-s-reveals/story-29946585-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 December, 2016, 08:30:55 pm
I regret to inform you that the Plymouth Herald is a real newspaper. 

I don't know if it still has a full-page Trago Mills piece every Thursday...that was something to see, combining UKIP-esque ranting against immigrants, local councillors and The Authorities generally, while pimping cheap garden furniture.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jakob W on 02 December, 2016, 08:37:10 am
Ah, Trago - where peacocks roam the ground and there's a grotesque statue of an Atlas-like figure groaning under the weight of EU regulation (I'm not making this up...)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 December, 2016, 07:31:15 am
http://m.somersetlive.co.uk/cat-urinating-inside-neighbours-houses-causes-ugly-street-brawl-in-yeovil/story-29952545-detail/story.html

Pissy pussy punchup in Somerset.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 04 December, 2016, 11:24:53 am
It's really true. They don't have doors in the provinces.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 04 December, 2016, 12:51:18 pm
Seal pup loses way in Liverpool

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-38173160 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-38173160)

"An RSPCA spokesperson said animal welfare officers believed the seal may have come from the Mersey."

Given the nearest zoo is about 15 miles away and the icerink is right by the river that's a pretty logical guess
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 December, 2016, 01:00:58 pm
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 04 December, 2016, 02:12:48 pm
Child loses garment at primary school.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cyx3Y-GXAAEdCv1.jpg)

Not just any garment, M&S shorts...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 December, 2016, 02:36:11 pm
Stubborn pigeon brings traffic to halt as it REFUSES to move (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/watch-stubborn-pigeon-brings-traffic-12264858)

Drivers on the Pershore Road give flying rat more consideration than the average cyclist.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 04 December, 2016, 05:19:14 pm
Ah, Trago - where peacocks roam the ground and there's a grotesque statue of an Atlas-like figure groaning under the weight of EU regulation (I'm not making this up...)

On principle I have never been there.  Strangely enough the UKIP rants have recently disappeared from the local ads. T
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 04 December, 2016, 06:55:08 pm
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.

That was an adult which turned up in a field in St Helens. There was a stream running through the field which despite only being 6 inches deep had a distant connection with the sea.

In this case the ice rink is on the Pier Head right next to a deep river. The only mystery is why it decided to climb several flights of steps.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on 04 December, 2016, 07:25:36 pm
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.

That was an adult which turned up in a field in St Helens. There was a stream running through the field which despite only being 6 inches deep had a distant connection with the sea.

In this case the ice rink is on the Pier Head right next to a deep river. The only mystery is why it decided to climb several flights of steps.

The lift was out of order?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 December, 2016, 07:18:12 pm
Stray goat goes wild at Carrickfergus shop (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-38205945)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 07 December, 2016, 12:02:29 pm
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.

That was an adult which turned up in a field in St Helens. There was a stream running through the field which despite only being 6 inches deep had a distant connection with the sea.

In this case the ice rink is on the Pier Head right next to a deep river. The only mystery is why it decided to climb several flights of steps.

The lift was out of order?
:thumbsup: Or maybe it was looking for someone to complain to about the buttons in the lift being too high.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 08 December, 2016, 10:35:37 am
Blimey an article that is actually interesting and informative in the York Press, they are letting standards slip!

The history of York Ham

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/features/features/14947278.Charting_the_history_of_the_York_Ham/

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rr on 09 December, 2016, 01:29:35 pm
 newspaper's local Saintsbury's runs out of sandwiches at the end of lunchtime (http://m.essexlive.news/shoppers-are-furious-as-sainsbury-s-chelmsford-has-sold-out-of-sandwiches/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 11 December, 2016, 12:58:40 pm
Quote from: Chief Reporter
In a Southend News Network exclusive, a group of 90’s construction workers have revealed the horrific conditions that were subjected to on a regular basis – they hope that the same mistakes won’t be repeated on building sites in the future.

Stuart Lamming has been elected as the unofficial spokesperson for the group, and he met our Chief Reporter to describe the ‘sheer hell’ that him and his colleagues were subjected to.

He said: ‘Our boss didn’t care whether we lived or died. Many of my friends were blown up, crushed, or were simply encouraged to walk off a cliff and plummet to a horrific death. I can still hear them all scream ‘oh no!’

‘I remember one site where they tried to cover up this terrible existence by playing motivational music for us. In my opinion, The Can Can on a constant 8-bit loop actually did a lot more harm than good.’

‘I finally decided that enough was enough when I walked into a wall and hundreds of other workers just followed me. I was behind a pick axe operator who couldn’t work fast enough and the sheer pressure from the advancing crowd made me pass out.’

‘My brother was lucky enough to get scouted into Sensible Soccer from an early age, and he even managed to win the Champions League with Southend United on 46 separate occasions – my destiny was horrendous in comparison.’

We managed to speak to one construction site manager who was involved in these conditions, and he agreed to speak to our news team if we kept his identity anonymous.

He said: ‘In my defence, we were under huge pressure from the company owner. For every project, our only target was to ensure that a certain percentage of workers returned alive. If we kept within these limits, the upper management were happy.’

‘This sort of carry on would never happen these days with all of the paperwork involved. It was a simpler and happier time.’

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 December, 2016, 05:47:25 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14961755.Workers_evacuated_after_toilet_fire/

Three fire engines and an "aerial appliance" needed to put out a flaming toilet in Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on 12 December, 2016, 09:29:50 pm
http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/pigeons-now-defecating-from-telegraph-pole-onto-footpath-in-frome-instead-of-from-railway-bridge/story-29976288-detail/story.html (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/pigeons-now-defecating-from-telegraph-pole-onto-footpath-in-frome-instead-of-from-railway-bridge/story-29976288-detail/story.html)

Pigeons now defecating from telegraph pole onto footpath in Frome instead of from railway bridge

It's a tough life in Frome. People can't even pronounce the name of the town properly.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 December, 2016, 10:02:54 pm
I quite liked this one, which was linked from the above:  http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/red-audi-photographed-parked-across-pedestrian-walkway-in-frome/story-29969115-detail/story.html

The idea that such a thing would be news is about as provincial as it gets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 December, 2016, 09:01:01 am
http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/pigeons-now-defecating-from-telegraph-pole-onto-footpath-in-frome-instead-of-from-railway-bridge/story-29976288-detail/story.html (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/pigeons-now-defecating-from-telegraph-pole-onto-footpath-in-frome-instead-of-from-railway-bridge/story-29976288-detail/story.html)

Pigeons now defecating from telegraph pole onto footpath in Frome instead of from railway bridge

It's a tough life in Frome. People can't even pronounce the name of the town properly.
/Oxford joke

The pigeons fly upside down over Swindon because there's nothing there worth shitting on.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 13 December, 2016, 01:14:32 pm
Quote
Sheep gets head stuck in traffic cone on Hertfordshire farm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-38264883 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-38264883)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 13 December, 2016, 01:18:37 pm
Quote
Giant Lego polar bear built by Huntingdon couple

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38268048 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38268048)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 14 December, 2016, 02:06:40 am
Quote
Giant Lego polar bear built by Huntingdon couple

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38268048 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38268048)

Will it be appearing at Long Itch...?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 14 December, 2016, 04:57:14 pm
Cardigan or Jumper? (http://www.aberaeron-today.co.uk/article.cfm?id=108445&headline=Town%20to%20change%20name%20to%20‘Jumper’%20for%20a%20day!&sectionIs=news&searchyear=2016)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 December, 2016, 12:13:56 am
Birmingham jumps the shark: http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/boxing-day-sales-start-early-12326514
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 17 December, 2016, 12:39:53 am
Birmingham jumps the shark: http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/boxing-day-sales-start-early-12326514

Semi-related, but I've noticed that some shops have started discounting their Christmas stock and then clearing it from the shelves earlier and earlier with each passing year. Or at least, it feels like it...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 19 December, 2016, 08:04:32 pm
In tectonics news:

Glastonbury 'to move every 5 years' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-38369127)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 20 December, 2016, 01:04:35 pm
Quote
Although Essex Police originally thought he died of natural causes, it emerged he had been shot six times.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-38377329 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-38377329)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 December, 2016, 01:28:22 pm
...by a man on the run?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 20 December, 2016, 02:18:56 pm
I guess being shot is the equivalent of natural causes for a gangster
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 20 December, 2016, 02:21:55 pm
...by a man on the run?

And a point to Cudzo for the Mike Oldfield reference...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 05 January, 2017, 11:25:39 am
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jan/04/yorkshires-bookseller-from-hell-regrets-calling-customer-a-pain-in-the-arse?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=207007&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2 (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jan/04/yorkshires-bookseller-from-hell-regrets-calling-customer-a-pain-in-the-arse?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=207007&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2)

Maintaining Yorkshire's reputation.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 05 January, 2017, 05:14:03 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jan/04/yorkshires-bookseller-from-hell-regrets-calling-customer-a-pain-in-the-arse?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=207007&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2 (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jan/04/yorkshires-bookseller-from-hell-regrets-calling-customer-a-pain-in-the-arse?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=207007&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2)

Maintaining Yorkshire's reputation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY5-0It0acU ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 05 January, 2017, 09:36:57 pm
Customer strikes back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4mPkhohDds (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4mPkhohDds)

A lesson in retailing, they should've made it a bike shop . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoPXQ9fotZM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoPXQ9fotZM)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 12 January, 2017, 08:01:17 am
I'm off to the pub dear
Have you got everything?

Wallet - check
Newspaper - check
Bomb...

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/live-updates-possible-world-war-12440671 (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/live-updates-possible-world-war-12440671)
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 13 January, 2017, 12:00:32 am
Given the recent troop movements in Eastern Europe that link has all kinds of scary connotations.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 January, 2017, 06:02:26 pm
A whole duck breed (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/15041352.Rare_breed_of_duck_goes_missing_in_Stonehouse/?ref=mr&lp=8) goes missing
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 25 January, 2017, 01:29:17 pm
Panic! Panic!!! Stock up on groceries and make sure the coal bunker's full!

Quote
Snow has already fallen once this month and and now the Met Office has forecast light snow to fall tonight.

Temperatures will drop to -1C at around 9pm.

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/watford/15046504.It_s_snow_joke__Forecast_worsens_for_Watford/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/watford/15046504.It_s_snow_joke__Forecast_worsens_for_Watford/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 25 January, 2017, 08:36:31 pm
SNO! Everyone, forget how to drive. Now!!!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 25 January, 2017, 11:27:19 pm
I'm not sure they all knew how to begin with...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 25 January, 2017, 11:34:41 pm
In Houston, Tx, snow is rare, but it does sometimes happen.

All it takes is 0.001mm of sno, and the city is grid-locked.
The local TV stations have helichoppers showing stationary traffic on 5 lanes each way on the 610 loop.

Thing is, they don't adjust their driving style to suit the conditions.
They just continue to drive at 60, bumper-to-bumper, and then 'Woah! What happened there!" when they hit ice on the over-bridges.

Go to Colorado, and they know how to deal with, and drive in, snow.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 27 January, 2017, 08:24:44 am
Does New Zealand count as provinces?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-38767179 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-38767179)

Snow - bah! I once lost 12 hours of my life at Toulouse airport for a nanometer of snow, almost missed the last connection at Frankfurt to boot with a sprint across the airport to the closing gate and home for midnight instead of lunchtime.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 27 January, 2017, 02:40:22 pm
Woman gets done for speeding (http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/woman-frightened-when-officer-pointed-speed-gun-at-car-court-told-35403318.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 January, 2017, 02:51:23 pm
That horrible potholed roundabout in Barton-under-Needwood is horribly potholed (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/britains-most-potholed-roundabout-driving-9696528)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: David Martin on 28 January, 2017, 12:12:10 pm
https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/perth-kinross/358294/police-hunt-vandals-who-hid-dead-fish-around-perthshire-property/

Off you go constable. Something smells a bit fishy about this story..
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 February, 2017, 08:30:37 am
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15071324.Boys_took_tractor_to_try_to_get_home_from_night_out/?ref=mrb&lp=5 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15071324.Boys_took_tractor_to_try_to_get_home_from_night_out/?ref=mrb&lp=5)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 February, 2017, 10:12:12 pm
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/718853/Gruffalo-Trail-dogging-site-Horsenden-Hill-Ealing-Council

Maybe one of our Ealing/Perivale posse could confirm this shocking revelation?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 13 February, 2017, 10:28:44 pm
I expect that coming across a gruffalo in the darkness could put you right off your dogging...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 February, 2017, 10:37:07 pm
Surely the whole point of dogging there is to come across a gruffalo?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 13 February, 2017, 10:39:02 pm
Also, does the Express really not have anyone who understands the difference between cruising and dogging?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jakob W on 14 February, 2017, 07:46:21 am
Their eyes are bloodshot, they wear trainer socks/ the Gruffalos show you their Gruffalo [Ed: that's quite enough thank you]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 February, 2017, 01:48:24 pm
Surely the whole point of dogging there is to come across a gruffalo?
I imagine, if you come across a real gruffalo, the best thing to do is to wipe it off and say sorry.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 14 February, 2017, 03:02:52 pm
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/718853/Gruffalo-Trail-dogging-site-Horsenden-Hill-Ealing-Council

Maybe one of our Ealing/Perivale posse could confirm this shocking revelation?

I dunno, but on the verge of yoofhood I flew my RC model glider into a tree there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 14 February, 2017, 05:27:22 pm
I guess it could be added to the "looking for badgers" excuse?  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 February, 2017, 06:32:50 pm
Valentine's Day red rose price war between deutsches Supermarkts, for when you really need to spend as little as possible on the love of your life.  Also, people are buying flowers and meals out.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15090452.Love_is_still_in_the_air_as_restaurants_and_florists_see_Valentine_s_Day_trade_bloom/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 14 February, 2017, 07:04:48 pm
I guess it could be added to the "looking for badgers" excuse?  ;D

I was too young for euphemisms, then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 14 February, 2017, 09:18:13 pm
Donkey gets old and dies (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/britains-oldest-donkey-died-age-12597711)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 February, 2017, 09:22:38 pm
Donkey gets old and dies (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/britains-oldest-donkey-died-age-12597711)
That got a whole slot on the TV news yesterday.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on 14 February, 2017, 09:33:26 pm
Coventry's finest: Shoplifter who used BRA as a fake baby to hide loot rants: 'Don't call me stupid'
http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/shoplifter-who-used-bra-fake-12567096 (http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/shoplifter-who-used-bra-fake-12567096)

...blames her bizarre theft attempt on her failure to do GCSE art.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 14 February, 2017, 09:57:23 pm
Donkey gets old and dies (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/britains-oldest-donkey-died-age-12597711)
That got a whole slot on the TV news yesterday.

It got a whole thread in The Other Place.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 14 February, 2017, 11:45:56 pm
Donkey gets old and dies (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/britains-oldest-donkey-died-age-12597711)

Aw. Poor wee lamb.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 15 February, 2017, 03:24:10 am
Donkey gets old and dies (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/britains-oldest-donkey-died-age-12597711)

It was the second oldest donker ever...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 February, 2017, 08:58:21 pm
http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/15097800.Driving_ban_for_Jesus_after_he_admits_being_twice_the_legal_limit_in_Stroud/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 20 February, 2017, 04:41:13 pm
Magic paint insufficiently magic for over-entitled house owner. (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/fed-up-householder-sprays-no-12627717)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 20 February, 2017, 09:58:31 pm
I present this without comment[1]: http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/signs-your-child-computer-hacker-12626527


[1] Plenty of comments available at El Reg (https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/02/20/is_your_child_a_hacker_liverpudlian_parents_handed_cyber_checklist/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 20 February, 2017, 10:11:40 pm
I never realised that you had to wear gloves.  I'll keep a look out for that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 21 February, 2017, 04:53:57 pm
I present this without comment[1]: http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/signs-your-child-computer-hacker-12626527


[1] Plenty of comments available at El Reg (https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/02/20/is_your_child_a_hacker_liverpudlian_parents_handed_cyber_checklist/)


I clicked the link and my connection went down.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 21 February, 2017, 07:51:48 pm
I present this without comment[1]: http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/signs-your-child-computer-hacker-12626527


[1] Plenty of comments available at El Reg (https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/02/20/is_your_child_a_hacker_liverpudlian_parents_handed_cyber_checklist/)
Gotten? Is there a Liverpool in USAnia?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 February, 2017, 12:23:35 pm
http://www.wiltshire.police.uk/news/3424-police-raid-nuclear-bunker-and-discover-county-s-biggest-cannabis-factory
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on 24 February, 2017, 04:40:49 pm
A 36 year old carrier bag:

http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2017/02/24/bag-for-life-does-shropshire-historian-own-britains-oldest-shopping-bag/ (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2017/02/24/bag-for-life-does-shropshire-historian-own-britains-oldest-shopping-bag/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 24 February, 2017, 10:05:48 pm
A former colleague and I bonded over our shared love of local newspaper restaurant reviews. I've not heard from him for a while but I was tickled when this popped up in my inbox today from him:

http://yorkshiretimes.co.uk/article/Review-Harvesters-Halifax

Well done the Yorkshire Times for getting in there before the Michelin inspectors discovered it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 24 February, 2017, 10:15:05 pm
Amazing piece of writing!

Would be GREAT if the could give the correct name for the restaurant and the correct URL!

But I am a pedant...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 25 February, 2017, 09:27:15 am
A former colleague and I bonded over our shared love of local newspaper restaurant reviews. I've not heard from him for a while but I was tickled when this popped up in my inbox today from him:

http://yorkshiretimes.co.uk/article/Review-Harvesters-Halifax

Well done the Yorkshire Times for getting in there before the Michelin inspectors discovered it.
;D
"better than what you get at some of the cheaper burger chains" is pure genius.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 February, 2017, 09:42:50 am
Amazing piece of writing!

Would be GREAT if the could give the correct name for the restaurant and the correct URL!

But I am a pedant...

And he claims to have had a "sirlion" steak.  Fresh from the Serengeti?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 February, 2017, 01:06:09 pm
Ever the innovators, the BBC appear to have added an 'eye on the provinces' module to their news site: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12277638
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 February, 2017, 01:11:54 pm
A former colleague and I bonded over our shared love of local newspaper restaurant reviews. I've not heard from him for a while but I was tickled when this popped up in my inbox today from him:

http://yorkshiretimes.co.uk/article/Review-Harvesters-Halifax

Well done the Yorkshire Times for getting in there before the Michelin inspectors discovered it.
;D
"better than what you get at some of the cheaper burger chains" is pure genius.
That line had me literally laughing out loud.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 March, 2017, 12:05:29 am
Do colonies count?

http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/2017/02/24/salford-village-cheese-mill-theft-valued-at-6200
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 March, 2017, 01:06:07 am
It's literally a province, so definitely counts.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 01 March, 2017, 04:13:54 pm
A bit old. Sorry.

Cambridge lecturer attends faculty meeting naked.
Nobody mentions it in the meeting.
http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/local-news/cambridge-academic-attends-university-meeting-11976364 (http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/local-news/cambridge-academic-attends-university-meeting-11976364)

Maybe mildly NSFW, as there's a painting of her nude in the report.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 01 March, 2017, 04:49:44 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39130580 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39130580)

Not provinces.
In mainstream media.

but...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 02 March, 2017, 03:24:01 pm
Motorist complains about legal use of mobility scooter (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-39138968)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 02 March, 2017, 03:59:19 pm
Motorist complains about legal use of mobility scooter (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-39138968)
:o In fairness, she'd got a good point.  That part of the north Derby ring road is really busy!  Riding a mobility scooter on there would be like, I dunno, riding a bike along the A63 on a Saturday afternoon. ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 02 March, 2017, 10:47:48 pm
The problem IMO is that road legal mobility scooters have a maximum speed of 8mph, making them too slow in traffic but too fast for a footway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 02 March, 2017, 10:57:43 pm
The problem IMHO is that we don't have proper cycling infrastructure, and it's not currently legal to use a mobility scooter on cycling infrastructure.

Upping the speed of road/cyclepath-going scooters to 25kph in line with e-bikes would seem reasonable TAAW.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 03 March, 2017, 08:42:16 am
Upping the speed of road/cyclepath-going scooters to 25kph in line with e-bikes would seem reasonable TAAW.
TBH, this strikes me as a very poor idea.  Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic (like a milkfloat on a motorway), yet way too fast for footway use on anything but an empty, well-surfaced, straight footway (even 8mph on my M-I-L's scooter alongside the die-straight Avenues of Hull feels pretty zippy, and I wouldn't want to corner at that speed).  There's a fundamental difference in manoeuvrability between an e-bike and a scooter.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 03 March, 2017, 09:39:31 am
Speaking as a pedestrian who doesn't always hear ignorant-twat-operated silent electric vehicles sneaking up narrow pavements behind him, being rammed in the back of the legs at 15mph wwould be a bit different from being rammed in the back of the legs at 5-6mph.

I hope the operators of these things carry 3rd party insurance, because one day I *will* sue.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2017, 01:15:10 pm
Upping the speed of road/cyclepath-going scooters to 25kph in line with e-bikes would seem reasonable TAAW.
TBH, this strikes me as a very poor idea.  Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic (like a milkfloat on a motorway), yet way too fast for footway use on anything but an empty, well-surfaced, straight footway (even 8mph on my M-I-L's scooter alongside the die-straight Avenues of Hull feels pretty zippy, and I wouldn't want to corner at that speed).  There's a fundamental difference in manoeuvrability between an e-bike and a scooter.

I mean for road/cyclepath use.  It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.

Seems to work in the Netherlands.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 03 March, 2017, 01:33:47 pm
Upping the speed of road/cyclepath-going scooters to 25kph in line with e-bikes would seem reasonable TAAW.
TBH, this strikes me as a very poor idea. Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic (like a milkfloat on a motorway), yet way too fast for footway use on anything but an empty, well-surfaced, straight footway (even 8mph on my M-I-L's scooter alongside the die-straight Avenues of Hull feels pretty zippy, and I wouldn't want to corner at that speed).  There's a fundamental difference in manoeuvrability between an e-bike and a scooter.

I mean for road/cyclepath use.  It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.

Seems to work in the Netherlands.
Rather you than me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 03 March, 2017, 01:42:34 pm
Upping the speed of road/cyclepath-going scooters to 25kph in line with e-bikes would seem reasonable TAAW.
TBH, this strikes me as a very poor idea.  Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic (like a milkfloat on a motorway), yet way too fast for footway use on anything but an empty, well-surfaced, straight footway (even 8mph on my M-I-L's scooter alongside the die-straight Avenues of Hull feels pretty zippy, and I wouldn't want to corner at that speed).  There's a fundamental difference in manoeuvrability between an e-bike and a scooter.
I mean for road/cyclepath use.  It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.
There are reasons I never replaced my Class II 3rd hand scooter when it died...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2017, 01:43:01 pm
How is a 25kph scooter any worse in traffic than a tricycle?  Sure, I'd try to pick a route that avoided the Derby ring-road, but many of us ride trikes in urban traffic and can attest that it isn't instant DETH (indeed, if anything, it's safer than a bicycle, as you're more likely to be seen).

And yes there's a fundamental difference in manoeuvrability between a scooter and a bicycle:  A scooter has a tighter turning circle and a stall speed of zero.  I'm not sure why that's an argument against the scooter.  Presumably anything built to do 25kph would be designed to not be hopelessly unstable at that speed, and like any other vehicle, you slow down for corners.  You see people using such things in the Netherlands, and the technology appears to be a solved problem.  What we need is more appropriate infrastructure, and the legal changes to allow scooter users to use it.  A scooter user on a cyclepath is one less car.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 03 March, 2017, 01:44:52 pm
Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic

No more so than cyclists, surely?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 03 March, 2017, 01:48:46 pm
Maybe the scooter I ditched was particularly poor but its response to my requests for it to both stop and go seemed very tardy, much slower than on a bicycle. Then there's the extra mass...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 03 March, 2017, 01:49:54 pm
It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.

One thing I'm not sure about, not being a user of mobility scooters - do scooters intended for footway use have built-in speed limiters or are they like cars, reliant on the operator to observe the rules? I've often encountered scooters going somewhat quicker than that on the pavement...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2017, 01:51:58 pm
It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.

One thing I'm not sure about, not being a user of mobility scooters - do scooters intended for footway use have built-in speed limiters or are they like cars, reliant on the operator to observe the rules? I've often encountered scooters going somewhat quicker than that on the pavement...

A Class 2 scooter can only do 4mph, otherwise it isn't a Class 2.

A Class 3 scooter generally has a switch that limits it to 4mph for footways, but can do 8mph in road-going mode.

(Class 1 is human powered and has no speed limit.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2017, 01:55:03 pm
Maybe the scooter I ditched was particularly poor but its response to my requests for it to both stop and go seemed very tardy, much slower than on a bicycle. Then there's the extra mass...

Sure, but it was only designed to go at a speed where crappy controls weren't a complete liability.  There's no reason they *have* to be poorly-engineered.

Bicycles are designed to go faster, and have better brakes.  Presumably the same is true for Dutch fast scooters.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 03 March, 2017, 01:55:43 pm
It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.

One thing I'm not sure about, not being a user of mobility scooters - do scooters intended for footway use have built-in speed limiters or are they like cars, reliant on the operator to observe the rules? I've often encountered scooters going somewhat quicker than that on the pavement...

The speed limit is inbuilt; you cannot do a quick burst past a dawdler, so are constrained to their 2mph.

It's apparently illegal for an able-bodied person to use these things but partner still used my scooter to schlep 50kg building supplies half a mile home.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2017, 01:58:20 pm
It's apparently illegal for an able-bodied person to use these things but partner still used my scooter to schlep 50kg building supplies half a mile home.

IIRC it's legal for a non-disabled person to use them for the purposes of maintenance or demonstration.  Hauling building supplies doesn't count, but like pavement cycling, as long as it's done responsibly most people don't care.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 March, 2017, 02:02:34 pm
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/16996494_1771702743148927_6222934531397370941_n.jpg?oh=617336b2e1158038fb137ef4aaeb2e10&oe=593537B3)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 03 March, 2017, 02:16:02 pm
It's apparently illegal for an able-bodied person to use these things but partner still used my scooter to schlep 50kg building supplies half a mile home.

Some years ago, at the mag where I was working at the time, we hired a mobility scooter for a stunt. Several of my less mature colleagues couldn't resist the temptation to drive it round the office as fast as possible.

Which was fine, until one of them lost control on a corner and drove it into the glass panelled wall of a meeting room.

A meeting room in which the CEO was meeting several big cheeses from the US parent company.

Apparently, the bespoke glass panels cost £10,000 each to replace. And of course m'colleague wasn't listed as an insured driver of the mobility scooter.

I'm amazed he kept his job.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 03 March, 2017, 02:49:38 pm
How is a 25kph scooter any worse in traffic than a tricycle?  Sure, I'd try to pick a route that avoided the Derby ring-road, but many of us ride trikes in urban traffic and can attest that it isn't instant DETH (indeed, if anything, it's safer than a bicycle, as you're more likely to be seen).
Did I ever mention tricycles?  Nice straw man.

Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic
No more so than cyclists, surely?
I'm not so sure.  Personally, I'd not much like to ride on the A601, but if I did I'd be riding fast (faster than 25kph) and not in the primary position (except where it is unsafe to pass).  Even with a scooter being driven as close to the nearside as possible, its offside still juts significantly into the lane.  25kph is simply too slow to be integrated into regular flowing traffic on an urban dual carriageway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2017, 03:41:32 pm
How is a 25kph scooter any worse in traffic than a tricycle?  Sure, I'd try to pick a route that avoided the Derby ring-road, but many of us ride trikes in urban traffic and can attest that it isn't instant DETH (indeed, if anything, it's safer than a bicycle, as you're more likely to be seen).
Did I ever mention tricycles?  Nice straw man.

No, I mentioned tricycles.  I'm not sure how it's a straw man (ie. what the effective difference is)?  I would be happy to ride a Class 3 mobility scooter in the sort of traffic that I ride a tricycle in, so I'm now wondering what it is about a tricycle that makes it okay, where a scooter wouldn't be.  It's not speed, because I sometimes struggle to achieve 8mph uphill.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2017, 03:49:36 pm
25kph is simply too slow to be integrated into regular flowing traffic on an urban dual carriageway.

I cycle on urban roads at that sort of speed - and below - all the time (various bicycles, sometimes with a trailer, sometimes a recumbent trike).  IME the multi-lane dual carriageways[1] are somewhat better, because the motorists have another lane to perform a proper overtake in.  But as I said above, I'd try to avoid the Derby Ring Road.


[1] This sort of thing: https://goo.gl/maps/HNks6EaUzo72
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Si S on 03 March, 2017, 03:56:14 pm
25kph is simply too slow to be integrated into regular flowing traffic on an urban dual carriageway.

Guess I'd better stop riding on the Parkway (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@53.4192855,-2.2606286,3a,75y,216.18h,64.73t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1stygvXP5dT-JvlTzNmUgUxw!2e0!7i13312!8i6656?hl=en), although it can be hard to hit that speed when you're splitting lanes  :P  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 03 March, 2017, 04:46:40 pm
25kph is simply too slow to be integrated into regular flowing traffic on an urban dual carriageway.

I cycle on urban roads at that sort of speed - and below - all the time (various bicycles, sometimes with a trailer, sometimes a recumbent trike).  IME the multi-lane dual carriageways[1] are somewhat better, because the motorists have another lane to perform a proper overtake in.  But as I said above, I'd try to avoid the Derby Ring Road.


[1] This sort of thing: https://goo.gl/maps/HNks6EaUzo72

I've noticed your judicious cropping of my post.  Perhaps I shouldn't have economised on words and emphasised that my particular point about speed integration follows on from the previous sentence about wide vehicles.  On most urban roads it is perfectly okay to ride a bike at lowish speed if your lane placement is appropriate.  Si S, I'm guessing you're not a tricyclist or trailer-puller from your point about splitting lanes!

I'm firmly of the view that the best way to further road safety for vulnerable users is not to unduly hamper other road users (check this link from another place (https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/nearly-taken-out-by-sportive-nutcases.187527/page-8#post-3909519)).  Besides everything else, I would be bricking myself if I found myself plonked onto a busy A38 in Brum (or Princess Road) on a trike or a mobility scooter.  If you're not as chicken as me, then I can only wish you good luck.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 03 March, 2017, 05:07:40 pm
Sometimes a motorist only has to see a pedal-powered vehicle to imagine it's hampering their progress.

I don't know about straw men but there are a few red herrings in this discussion.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2017, 05:08:42 pm
25kph is simply too slow to be integrated into regular flowing traffic on an urban dual carriageway.

I cycle on urban roads at that sort of speed - and below - all the time (various bicycles, sometimes with a trailer, sometimes a recumbent trike).  IME the multi-lane dual carriageways[1] are somewhat better, because the motorists have another lane to perform a proper overtake in.  But as I said above, I'd try to avoid the Derby Ring Road.


[1] This sort of thing: https://goo.gl/maps/HNks6EaUzo72

I've noticed your judicious cropping of my post.

I seem to be making a habit of it.   :-\


Quote
Perhaps I shouldn't have economised on words and emphasised that my particular point about speed integration follows on from the previous sentence about wide vehicles.  On most urban roads it is perfectly okay to ride a bike at lowish speed if your lane placement is appropriate.

I assume you don't have experience of wider cycles then?

What most people who do soon realise is that while the overall envelope isn't actually that much wider[1] than that of a typical flat-barred bicyclist, drivers react quite differently, and give greater amounts of room when overtaking.  Typically you get proper car-like overtakes, rather than attempts to squeeze past in the same lane.

(I suspect that much of this effect is down to being unusual and therefore subject to more careful observation, rather than the perceived difference in width.  It's also why I generally feel safer in traffic on a recumbent bicycle than I do on a Brompton.)


Quote
I'm firmly of the view that the best way to further road safety for vulnerable users is not to unduly hamper other road users (check this link from another place (https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/nearly-taken-out-by-sportive-nutcases.187527/page-8#post-3909519)).

I'm more pragmatic than that.  Sometimes staying out of the way is the safest option, other times it isn't.  I'd certainly say that *antagonising* other road users is to be avoided, except where necessary to ensure your safety (for example, I'll take primary rather than ride into a pothole or be squeezed at a pinch point), and I'm a big fan of letting the entitled arseholes get past you as soon as possible.


Quote
Besides everything else, I would be bricking myself if I found myself plonked onto a busy A38 in Brum (or Princess Road) on a trike or a mobility scooter.  If you're not as chicken as me, then I can only wish you good luck.

From my own experience, riding a tricycle on the Bristol Road is pretty much the same as riding a bicycle with a trailer on the Bristol Road, which is pretty much the same as riding a bicycle without a trailer on the Bristol Road.  I don't have a mobility scooter, but assuming it was reasonably engineered and I was confident with the controls, I wouldn't expect it to be much different.


[1] Although a multi-track cycle will sometimes need more room than a bike to keep the nearside wheel clear of gutter hazards.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2017, 05:10:49 pm
Sometimes a motorist only has to see a pedal-powered vehicle to imagine it's hampering their progress.

This is also true.  But I can't imagine they think much differently of a mobility scooter.  Or other 'slow' vehicles, for that matter - it's just that milk floats (proper ones, not the modern diesel rubbish), tractors, etc. command respect by nature of occupying the whole lane.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on 03 March, 2017, 05:27:43 pm
...and in the case of proper milk floats, you really, really don't want to collide with one.  Crumple zones?  Yes, that'll be you, not the milk float...  They are made of dirty great bits of steel channel, and a tonne or more of lead acid batteries, most unfriendly to interface with.  DAHIKT  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2017, 05:42:21 pm
Much the same goes for tractors, often with added spiky bits.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on 03 March, 2017, 07:34:02 pm
i have have ridden in slough london york and wolverhampton on my trice and i often struggle to make 8mph on the flat  .traffic in the main has treated with care . i have also ridden on sections of the a3  a35 a5 a 23. where there is a great different s  in speed and again no real problems with traffic . fortunately 99.9 percent of the time i can use quit and pleasant lane although meeting lorreys and large cars on a narrow lane can be interesting  ::-) :)   
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 04 March, 2017, 01:21:11 am
...and back on topic, cat found in town (http://www.greenocktelegraph.co.uk/news/15131745.Appeal_after_cat_found_in_Greenock/?ref=mr&lp=9).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 04 March, 2017, 01:33:20 am
In a tenuous claim to relevance kinda way, I were born in Greenock. Can't remember anything about is coz we left when I was 1.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 09 March, 2017, 10:05:56 am
Sign of the End Times appears in Finchley

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39214332 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39214332)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 09 March, 2017, 03:08:17 pm
You beat me to it! I posted the same in 'Where the wild things are' cos Finchley might not be seen as 'Provinces'...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 09 March, 2017, 05:18:30 pm
Lights go on and off (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/ghosts-need-to-invest-too-mystery-of-lights-being-turned-on-and-off-in-town-s-tsb-branch/story-30192532-detail/story.html) in bank.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 10 March, 2017, 12:25:49 am
 Taking the piss in Cardiff (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/two-women-dropped-trousers-urinated-12716102.amp)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 March, 2017, 12:29:52 am
Taking the piss in Cardiff (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/two-women-dropped-trousers-urinated-12716102.amp)

Did they really need to provide photos?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 10 March, 2017, 12:49:38 am
To be fair, they are crackers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 10 March, 2017, 06:32:20 pm
Sign of the End Times appears in Finchley

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39214332 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39214332)
Lovely!

That is a classic example of subtle tongue-in-cheek reporting. I like this bit:

She said she arrived at the "dark car park" at about 21:30 GMT on Saturday

[my bold]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 March, 2017, 07:37:55 pm
Taking the piss in Cardiff (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/two-women-dropped-trousers-urinated-12716102.amp)
Those Welsh, eh?

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/police-appealed-information-after-man-12710730

(Disclaimer: I was born in St Asaph, so don't call me a racist, you English toffs)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 10 March, 2017, 10:22:06 pm
Someone had to . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 March, 2017, 10:30:22 pm
This thread is turning into the best man's speech from SIL's wedding.   :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 13 March, 2017, 06:10:17 pm
Wiring hash leaves cannabis house smoking
Potty makeshift wiring job leads drugs squad to smoking dopes (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-39257165)

BBC Birmingham goes for clickbait headline pun density record...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 16 March, 2017, 01:13:22 am
I'll just leave this here . . . (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-39285486)

^^^ PROLLY NSFW ^^^

If in doubt click here ->
(click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 16 March, 2017, 01:35:32 am
See also https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=66712.msg2146300#msg2146300 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=66712.msg2146300#msg2146300) et seq.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 16 March, 2017, 05:31:30 pm
Sorry, Helly. Missed that one. Mea culpa . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 22 March, 2017, 03:36:56 pm
 :o
Quote
A Luton man has received a suspended sentence for masturbating into a cup in a public dining area in the town.

Diners were forced to move away after Michael Barker, aged 58 of Havelock Road, Luton, was seen to masturbate under a table, ejaculate into a cup and then leave it for a woman to consume before disappearing into the toilets on three to four occasions, magistrates at Luton heard on March 13.
http://www.lutontoday.co.uk/news/crime/for-those-of-a-sensitive-nature-look-away-now-1-7879427 (http://www.lutontoday.co.uk/news/crime/for-those-of-a-sensitive-nature-look-away-now-1-7879427)
:sick:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 March, 2017, 09:11:55 pm
Swindon wins the Internet.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/03/21/theres-an-abnormally-large-amount-of-perverts-in-swindon-6524182/

It beat Camden into second place.  As my Lahndon friend Kensal Steve points out, Hampstead Heath is in Camden.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 March, 2017, 09:14:48 pm
Doesn't Swindon have its own thread?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 23 March, 2017, 09:56:51 pm
Doesn't Swindon have its own thread?

I believe it does, https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=42558.0 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=42558.0) as does Didcot.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 25 March, 2017, 03:44:44 pm
Pensioner trapped in library after staff go home (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/pensioner-trapped-in-library-after-122932/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 29 March, 2017, 04:13:40 pm
This has been amusing me for hours.

Night club Appalled by Sex Offender Leprechaun (http://www.midulstermail.co.uk/news/nightclub-appalled-by-supply-of-sex-offender-leprechaun-for-teen-event-1-7888621)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on 30 March, 2017, 09:46:31 am
I'm getting worried.  We're off house hunting in Wales tomorrow, do I really want to move to a principality where folk piss and crap in public places?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 30 March, 2017, 09:50:38 am
 ;D
Which area are you looking at?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 04 April, 2017, 12:50:29 pm
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 04 April, 2017, 02:36:02 pm
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
TBF, that is an utterly shit April Fool.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on 04 April, 2017, 03:42:51 pm
;D
Which area are you looking at?

The spec for the area is "within an hour or so drive from Llanfair Caereinion", but most definitely not in Llanfair Caereinion itself.

We're going to look at one in the outskirts of Dolgellau tomorrow.  I'm going to have to ask the estate agent how to pronounce the name of the road  :facepalm:

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 04 April, 2017, 03:43:10 pm
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
TBF, that is an utterly shit April Fool.

Indeed.

Have you seen this story?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 05 April, 2017, 08:56:08 am
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
TBF, that is an utterly shit April Fool.

Indeed.

Have you seen this story?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648)
If I'd done that as a littly (which I wouldn't, because I was not a little bastard), I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week afterwards.  :demon: 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 05 April, 2017, 10:16:19 am
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
TBF, that is an utterly shit April Fool.

Indeed.

Have you seen this story?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648)
If I'd done that as a littly (which I wouldn't, because I was not a little bastard), I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week afterwards.  :demon:

Shouldn't the fact you're not allowed to thrash children anymore be in the First world problems thread?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 05 April, 2017, 11:22:47 am
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
TBF, that is an utterly shit April Fool.

Indeed.

Have you seen this story?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648)
If I'd done that as a littly (which I wouldn't, because I was not a little bastard), I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week afterwards.  :demon:

Shouldn't the fact you're not allowed to thrash children anymore be in the First world problems thread?
You're not? :o    ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 April, 2017, 07:11:58 pm
But in the new post-Brexit BRITAIN we'll be able to thrash the Smalls again, send them up chimneys, down coal mines and into the Navy1.  The latter will put the fear of God into Johnny Dago if he tries to get his greasy fingers on Gib.

(Stands up, sings National Anthem)

1: Not all at once, obv
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 April, 2017, 07:54:57 pm
Rich old white people still dial telephone numbers (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/bath-residents-furious-over-radstock-dialling-code/story-30249247-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 05 April, 2017, 08:52:52 pm
That's what exposure to the Daily Mail does to your soul.

Interesting references in that article though:

MORE: Eggs from spider that causes fatal four-hour erections found in South West

MORE: Man tries to insert pool balls into his rectum, says it was just 'boy's banter'.

MORE: Mother infuriated by people urinating on garden fence paints huge arrow to divert them

Inlaws, this is why we visit so infrequently. The South-West is literally mental. Banter evidently means something else out there. I think I already know too much.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 April, 2017, 10:27:16 pm
Rich old white people still dial telephone numbers (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/bath-residents-furious-over-radstock-dialling-code/story-30249247-detail/story.html)
Brilliant.  Apparently the good people of Sutton Coldfield once tried to get shot of their B postcode for similar reasons.  And no-one lives in Balsall Heath, it's always Edgbaston  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 06 April, 2017, 09:47:31 am
I can't help thinking that that's one hell of a sexy spider.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 06 April, 2017, 09:49:17 am
*Edgbaarrrston
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 06 April, 2017, 10:08:37 am
I have a Croydon postcode. My god, I live in Surrey. It's inhumane.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 06 April, 2017, 10:16:54 am
Rich old white people still dial telephone numbers (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/bath-residents-furious-over-radstock-dialling-code/story-30249247-detail/story.html)

I wish my life was as exciting and fulfilling as theirs apparently are ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 April, 2017, 04:48:41 pm
Quote
"I do consider my phone number to be a part of my identity. It has been part of my identity for 25 years.
Curious, the things people consider to be part of their identity. For instance, some people who become incredibly proficient in a foreign language will refuse to lose their native accent despite it hindering communication because they see it as part of who they are. While this is clearly a first-class first world problem, I can believe this bloke does feel he's lost a little bit of his identity from this. "I've never been a Radstock man and never will be!"

I rode into Bath about six weeks ago and rode through that development. It looks a little better in real life than the photos, but it's not "clad in the pale honey-hued stone that gives the city its timeless appeal." John Wood (Snr and Jnr) etc would probably approve of the speculative aspect, but I'm not sure they'd like the architecture. At least there's somewhere to sit and watch the river flow by.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/4/3739/32976119665_45963ad78c_k.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/SeZevk)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 06 April, 2017, 05:53:41 pm
The geek in me attempts to decode phone numbers so I sort of understand.

A very long time ago I was quoted an outrageous price for a cab by IKEA, based on my postcode. As I'm only a furlong from the NW9 frontier, I thought I would have been charged much less it I had used a 'creative' postcode.

In the event, Giraffe got a minicab from the adjacent Tesgrot and we paid ⅓ of IKEA's quoted price.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 06 April, 2017, 06:18:01 pm
Only one other house shares my postcode (the benefit of living on a street with only two houses). It's still Croydonish though.

And the last time I tried to order a takeaway, the buggers wanted to charge me £2 extra because we don't have a house number.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 06 April, 2017, 09:03:22 pm
Well as i have an SA postcode, I must be in Swansea
Nearly 50 miles away.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 06 April, 2017, 09:20:48 pm
With an AB postcode, the number following the letters AB are used in an exponential function to determine shipping costs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 April, 2017, 07:28:21 am
Bizarrely, or probably not, I received a call on Wednesday from a Birmingham number (0121...). It actually came from about two streets away, ie firmly in Bristol.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 07 April, 2017, 01:38:42 pm
Skipton has a Bradford postcode.  Todmorden has an Oldham postcode and a Rochdale phone number! :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 07 April, 2017, 01:41:18 pm
Bizarrely, or probably not, I received a call on Wednesday from a Birmingham number (0121...). It actually came from about two streets away, ie firmly in Bristol.

Probably originated on a VoIP system such as Skype which then broke out to the traditional telephone network. When you buy a breakout service for VoIP you have to choose a number and you cant always get one that relates to your geographic location. I sued to use Skype Out and the nearest to a local number I could buy was a Leeds dial code one and thats 50 miles away.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 April, 2017, 01:57:54 pm
Yes, area codes are meaningless unless you know the next few digits refer to a traditional telephone exchange (that's trainspotter stuff), and that there isn't any switching shenanigans going on at the end of the line (which you'll only know on a per-number basis, so the area code alone doesn't tell you anything).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 07 April, 2017, 02:06:57 pm
we used to have a DN postcode in NE Lincs, that was a whole motorway away.  And probably a few decades as well.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 11 April, 2017, 11:50:24 am
It's all happening (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/new-welwyn-garden-city-road-crossing-1-4969965) in Welwyn Garden City.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 11 April, 2017, 12:24:28 pm
It's all happening (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/new-welwyn-garden-city-road-crossing-1-4969965) in Welwyn Garden City.
And the rubber is mating (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/fire-on-rubber-flooring-in-knebworth-playground-1-4970951) in nearby Knebworth!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 11 April, 2017, 04:45:02 pm
It's helpful to be able to put a name to the problem (http://www.worthingherald.co.uk/news/offbeat/poll-name-the-rampion-digger-stuck-in-the-sea-1-7903179) ;D

We have been watching Moby Dig work for a while now (a side-effect of living with a child obsessed with vehicles), and became aware he was stuck a few days ago.  There have been boats loitering nearby, but apparently now Moby is to be saved! :o :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 13 April, 2017, 02:14:56 am
Football kicked over fence found. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-39578639 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-39578639)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 April, 2017, 09:33:31 am
It's better than baking a cake for it (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/guerrilla-gardeners-are-filling-bath-s-potholes-with-soil-and-pansies/story-30271393-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 17 April, 2017, 10:15:58 am
Football kicked over fence found. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-39578639 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-39578639)
That's a lovely story :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 18 April, 2017, 12:52:38 pm
Harry Potter in York court for drug dealing
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15224234.Harry_Potter_in_York_court_for_drug_dealing/?ref=mr&lp=17 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15224234.Harry_Potter_in_York_court_for_drug_dealing/?ref=mr&lp=17)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 18 April, 2017, 11:22:24 pm
Hoo Flung Dung (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/man-pooed-on-his-own-hands-and-threw-it-as-car-in-gloucester/story-30278820-detail/story.html)

(it was a cyclist, naturally)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 April, 2017, 01:03:56 pm
Harry Potter in York court for drug dealing
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15224234.Harry_Potter_in_York_court_for_drug_dealing/?ref=mr&lp=17 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15224234.Harry_Potter_in_York_court_for_drug_dealing/?ref=mr&lp=17)
Even the place he lives sounds like a Dark Arts spell.  "Acaster Malbis!" and you turn into a newt.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 20 April, 2017, 02:09:02 pm
 :o
http://www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/hitchin-man-electrocuted-woman-s-private-parts-during-50-shades-of-grey-sex-session/story-30269076-detail/story.html (http://www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/hitchin-man-electrocuted-woman-s-private-parts-during-50-shades-of-grey-sex-session/story-30269076-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 20 April, 2017, 02:17:38 pm
:o
http://www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/hitchin-man-electrocuted-woman-s-private-parts-during-50-shades-of-grey-sex-session/story-30269076-detail/story.html (http://www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/hitchin-man-electrocuted-woman-s-private-parts-during-50-shades-of-grey-sex-session/story-30269076-detail/story.html)

People badly need to learn what 'electrocute' means.  And how to do BDSM safely, sanely and consensually.  A bit of electrical engineering wouldn't go amiss either.  240V mains?  Fucksake.

If there's any justice in the world the device in question is being sent to Big Clive for a teardown...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 20 April, 2017, 02:29:50 pm
*hauls out 'electrocute' soapbox*

*realises Kim got there first*

*puts away soapbox with a heavy sigh*
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 April, 2017, 03:11:59 pm
http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/60281?redirectedFrom=electrocute#eid
Quote
electrocute, v.
View as: Outline |Full entryKeywords: On |OffQuotations: Show all |Hide all
Pronunciation:  Brit.   /ᵻˈlɛktrəkjuːt/,  U.S. /əˈlɛktrəˌkjut/, /iˈlɛktrəˌkjut/
Forms:  18– electricute (now nonstandard), 18– electrocute.
Frequency (in current use): 
Origin: Formed within English, by compounding. Etymons: electro- comb. form, execute v.
Etymology: < electro- comb. form + -cute (in execute v.). Compare electrocution n.... (Show More)
orig. U.S.
Thesaurus »
Categories »
 
 1. trans. To put to death by means of a powerful electric current; to execute in the electric chair.

1889   Trenton (New Jersey) Times 7 June 4/2 (heading)    He wants to be ‘electrocuted’... An offer on the part of a man..to act as a victim..by testing the..new apparatus for executing by electricity.
1890   Congress. Rec. 8375/1   That the gentleman..should be ‘electrocuted’ by the Kemmler process recently adopted in the state of New York.
1903   W. D. Howells Lett. Home v 32,   I could be sitting this moment with the transmitter at my mouth, and the receivers strapped to both ears, and looking as if I were just going to be electrocuted.
1945   N. Mitford Pursuit of Love xiii. 101,   I bet the Scotsboro' boys will be electrocuted in the end, if they don't die of old age first, that is.
2001   Times (Nexis) 28 July   In Georgia I stood outside death row as the state electrocuted a man I thought was probably innocent.
(Hide quotations)
 
Thesaurus »
Categories »
 
 2. trans. To give an electric shock to; esp. (chiefly refl. or in pass.) to kill or injure by electric shock.

1890   Freeborn County Standard (Albert Lea, Minnesota) (Electronic text) 24 Sept.   When venture-some rodents walk within a metallic cage, containing cheese, they are transfixed by a strong electric current and ‘electrocuted’.
1899   Times 11 Apr. 1/4   Continuation of the Monster Holiday Show. Marvellous performances... See to-day, at 3 and 8, Dr. Walford Bodie electrocute a man.
1909   Yorks. Post 4 Aug. 4/5   [A boy] who was electrocuted on the Mersey Railway last Saturday.
1939   D. L. Sayers In Teeth of Evid. 9   One of them got loose last time and tried to electrocute itself on the X-ray plant.
1988   Courier-Mail (Brisbane) (Nexis) 10 May   I was electrocuted. I can still smell the flesh burning.
2004   Chicago Tribune (Midwest ed.) 11 July x. 23/2,   I wasn't going to touch a battery—I'd have electrocuted myself.
(Hide quotations)
 
Derivatives

 
Categories »
 
  eˈlectrocuted adj.

1896   Science 14 Feb. 250/2   He gave the results of the examination of nervous tissue from three electrocuted subjects.
1922   Bridgeport (Connecticut) Telegram 10 Feb. 10/3   Glands taken from an electrocuted prisoner at Sing Sing, are grafted into the body of another convict.
1991   Atlantic June 87/1   The widow of the electrocuted man didn't even have children to take her mind off her loneliness.
It doesn't only mean kill. But that doesn't make the idea any less stupid or dangerous.

I expect there's a story to be written somewhere about BDSM by grammar pedantry. "Man injured woman's private parts with stray apostrophe during 50 Shades of Grammar sex session."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 20 April, 2017, 03:42:00 pm
Always best to agree the boundaries of apostrophisation in advance.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 26 April, 2017, 09:34:42 am
Headline of the month
http://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/paedophile-croydon-police-staff-member-stole-shotgun-ammo-from-pakistan-spot-fixing-cricket-scandal/story-30285116-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 26 April, 2017, 02:30:21 pm
Headline of the month
http://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/paedophile-croydon-police-staff-member-stole-shotgun-ammo-from-pakistan-spot-fixing-cricket-scandal/story-30285116-detail/story.html

I don't want to click on it - the actual headline may not be as good as the URL!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ben T on 02 May, 2017, 02:15:40 pm
BONG Dog limit introduced in hampshire (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-39769910) BONG

good idea actually, who needs more than 4 dogs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on 02 May, 2017, 02:38:21 pm
Iditarod racers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 02 May, 2017, 02:50:40 pm
Does that go through Hampshire?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 02 May, 2017, 11:58:08 pm
Just Gosport innit? Not even Portsmuff.
Or Southsea...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 04 May, 2017, 08:10:56 pm
Toy plane flies a long way.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-39804083 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-39804083)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 04 May, 2017, 09:30:43 pm
Maybe
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 05 May, 2017, 11:48:09 am
From the Surrey Mirror local election blog thing:

(http://cdn6.24live.co/images/2017/05/05/1493978683219250.jpg)
Quote
A stock photo of Stephen Cooksey demonstrating the classic arm folding, angry people in local newspapers pose

If I meet the journalist (Dave Comeau) I might have to buy him a drink.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 May, 2017, 06:13:50 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15265045.Teen_found_wandering_along_M4_superglued_to_friend_prised_off_by_doctors/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 May, 2017, 07:14:39 pm
If I meet the journalist (Dave Comeau) I might have to buy him a drink.

I suspect he's a reader of Angry People In Local Newspapers, which is what Scaryduck fotp seems to be wasting most of his time on these days.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 10 May, 2017, 11:54:02 am
Quite a good day in my area. Two motorised morons (in appropriate thread) and this...

Quote
Cow sex suspect hunted by police helicopter

...Hertfordshire Police said the cow was unhurt.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-39859134 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-39859134)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 May, 2017, 12:50:13 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15265045.Teen_found_wandering_along_M4_superglued_to_friend_prised_off_by_doctors/
Has the makings of a movie.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 May, 2017, 07:00:49 pm
Quite a good day in my area. Two motorised morons (in appropriate thread) and this...

Quote
Cow sex suspect hunted by police helicopter

...Hertfordshire Police said the cow was unhurt.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-39859134 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-39859134)
Well, it would have been like opening the windiow and f***ing the night.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 10 May, 2017, 07:25:38 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15265045.Teen_found_wandering_along_M4_superglued_to_friend_prised_off_by_doctors/
Has the makings of a movie.

You just know that if HMPS had a loyalty card this bunch are going to be platinum by the time they're 18 and probably lifetime black by 21. Get to pick your own bunk and softer toilet roll.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 16 May, 2017, 04:06:13 pm
Pylon fire (http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/8203-electricity-pile-up-catches-fire-during-the-night-in-leatherhead/story-30326270-detail/story.html), but future energy needs solved as way to store electricity is found:
Quote
The electricity pylon contained over 100,000 volts of electricity
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 16 May, 2017, 04:27:51 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15265045.Teen_found_wandering_along_M4_superglued_to_friend_prised_off_by_doctors/
Has the makings of a movie.

"Stuck in Swindon"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 May, 2017, 04:58:22 pm
Pylon fire (http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/8203-electricity-pile-up-catches-fire-during-the-night-in-leatherhead/story-30326270-detail/story.html), but future energy needs solved as way to store electricity is found:
Quote
The electricity pylon contained over 100,000 volts of electricity

Pedantically, since one of the primary functions of a pylon is as an insulator, then it's not entirely unreasonable to refer to it that way.  It's containing voltage the same way that fences contain sheep.

More amusing is the URL itself, which refers to an "electricity pile-up" catching fire.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 18 May, 2017, 09:06:14 pm
Able-bodied son sues father for lifetime financial support.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-39966145 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-39966145)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 19 May, 2017, 08:20:28 am
Able-bodied son sues father for lifetime financial support.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-39966145 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-39966145)

How to endear yourself to your family. Not only no funding now, but possibly cut out of the will as well. :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 19 May, 2017, 02:56:10 pm
Yeah. Not exactly well thought through, was it?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 25 May, 2017, 11:28:52 am
https://m.theregister.co.uk/2017/05/17/leeds_police_issue_appeal_for_mansized_todger/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 June, 2017, 07:42:08 pm
http://www.kentonline.co.uk/dover/news/rude-theresa-may-structure-erected-126737/

Giant Darth May flicking the Vs at Johnny Foreigner.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 07 June, 2017, 12:30:11 pm
Too bloody right!
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15331249.Man_fined_hundreds_of_pounds_after_throwing_chicken_bones_out_of_car/?ref=eb (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15331249.Man_fined_hundreds_of_pounds_after_throwing_chicken_bones_out_of_car/?ref=eb)
(Offence occurred about half a mile from here.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 08 June, 2017, 09:47:01 pm
Devon man who burned Bible in row over Christmas is fined £666 (http://www.devonlive.com/devon-man-who-burned-bible-is-fined-666/story-30363886-detail/story.html#FzKkroI0viPJXmRQ.99)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 June, 2017, 06:27:52 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15355260.Dealer_found_hiding_in_wheelie_bin_had_170_wraps_of_class_A_drugs_up_his_backside__court_hears/

First comment refers to "crack cocaine"  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on 03 July, 2017, 01:03:45 am
I'll just leave this here.
https://twitter.com/shonamurraynt/status/880830787536523264 (https://twitter.com/shonamurraynt/status/880830787536523264)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Plug1n on 04 July, 2017, 11:39:58 am
And in hot news from Hertfordshire:

Bucket of water used to extinguish St Albans fire

http://www.hertsad.co.uk/news/bucket-of-water-used-to-extinguish-st-albans-fire-1-5090168 (http://www.hertsad.co.uk/news/bucket-of-water-used-to-extinguish-st-albans-fire-1-5090168)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 04 July, 2017, 11:51:39 am
Cat that was up a tree is now down.

http://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/177612/cat-stuck-up-tree-drama-near-primary-school-in-chester-has-a-purrfect-ending.aspx (http://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/177612/cat-stuck-up-tree-drama-near-primary-school-in-chester-has-a-purrfect-ending.aspx)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 05 July, 2017, 05:12:29 pm
Woman walking injured seagull on a lead:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15391489.Woman_found____walking_injured_seagull_on_lead____in_York/?ref=mrb&lp=1

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 08 July, 2017, 08:19:14 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEOK2FxXsAIhH_a.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 09 July, 2017, 12:31:10 am
Wheelie wonky bike sign amuses Sleaford residents (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-40498602)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 09 July, 2017, 12:55:15 am
Wheelie wonky bike sign amuses Sleaford residents (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-40498602)

 Part of a bigger collection (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-40520746)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 12 July, 2017, 04:52:17 pm
man checks can of beer as luggage on flight

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-40577923 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-40577923)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 July, 2017, 11:58:05 am
Lost panties. (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/someone-found-pair-lacy-knickers-186212)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 July, 2017, 12:24:30 pm
Lost panties. (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/someone-found-pair-lacy-knickers-186212)
Gloucestershire seems well unusually provided with dogging sites.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 July, 2017, 02:13:54 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEOK2FxXsAIhH_a.jpg)
The long dark teatime of the Empire.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on 15 July, 2017, 11:27:39 am
More big news from Welwyn Garden City

http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/four-fire-engines-go-racing-through-welwyn-garden-city-1-5106979
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on 20 July, 2017, 09:38:24 pm
Laying down the law in Tower Hamlets:

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/fiveyearold-girl-bursts-into-tears-as-council-officers-shut-down-her-lemonade-stand-a3592551.html

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 25 July, 2017, 09:13:11 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-40716008 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-40716008)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 05 August, 2017, 12:13:59 pm
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/horrified-mcdonalds-customers-watch-naked-13434799


Are all Trinity Mirror groups as shite as the Liverpool Echo ?   Crime,crime,crime, minor sleb gossip , sportsball  & lists of things & places you "have to try".  :sick:    I can remember it being a decent payer with proper journalists  :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 August, 2017, 12:58:43 pm
A quick hop across the Channel to les provinces:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-40812302

Oh crepe!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 August, 2017, 08:11:11 am
The comments say it all:

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15456157.Love_Island_winner_greeted_by_dozens_of_fans_during_whistle_stop_tour/#comments-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 August, 2017, 09:28:47 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15460118.Foot_long_sausage_roll_goes_on_sale_at_town_supermarkets/#comments-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 08 August, 2017, 09:40:55 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15460118.Foot_long_sausage_roll_goes_on_sale_at_town_supermarkets/#comments-anchor

They were selling these yesterday at Bishop Auckland Morrisons.  Not tempted.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 August, 2017, 09:43:15 pm
Efficient though - only two a day will fuel a fully-grown man.  Until he has a heart attack or bowel cancer, anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 09 August, 2017, 10:58:44 am
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 09 August, 2017, 12:34:08 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.

That sounds amazing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 09 August, 2017, 03:58:42 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.
<sigh>
It is one thing I really miss, not eating wheat. Going and buying a greasy, unhealthy (but oh so tasty) 'baked' thing. So greasy that the paper it comes in is transparent, the ingredients are indeterminate, the pastry layered with grease and painted with extra grease and a few layers of cheap, toasted cheese. Preferably so hot that the inside burns your mouth off.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 09 August, 2017, 04:24:10 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.

That sounds amazing.

IWOOT!!1! Hell yeah!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 09 August, 2017, 04:38:59 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.
<sigh>
It is one thing I really miss, not eating wheat. Going and buying a greasy, unhealthy (but oh so tasty) 'baked' thing. So greasy that the paper it comes in is transparent, the ingredients are indeterminate, the pastry layered with grease and painted with extra grease and a few layers of cheap, toasted cheese. Preferably so hot that the inside burns your mouth off.
Don't - I'm trying to cut down on things like that.

Oh, the temptation!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 August, 2017, 11:08:13 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-norfolk-40886835/giant-pipes-wash-up-on-norfolk-beaches

This one's actually a bit too interesting, but I'm posting it here because of the excellent use of the 'Big Ben' and 'London bus' units of measurement.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 11 August, 2017, 12:53:03 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.

That sounds amazing.

IWOOT!!1! Hell yeah!

I've thought of a name for that.

The Dibbler.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 11 August, 2017, 03:24:36 pm
Dirty girl!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 August, 2017, 07:48:44 am
This one's just surreal.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15499267.House_of_Fraser_evacuated_after_fox_falls_through_ceiling/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 August, 2017, 05:19:04 pm
It's the kind of think you might expect in Tetbury not Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 August, 2017, 05:20:45 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-norfolk-40886835/giant-pipes-wash-up-on-norfolk-beaches

This one's actually a bit too interesting, but I'm posting it here because of the excellent use of the 'Big Ben' and 'London bus' units of measurement.
So we're going to hear nothing more of these for the next four years?

(Kind of surprised a London bus is only 2.4m wide but I guess the extra 0.15 would get it stuck in traffic too often.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 29 August, 2017, 06:48:46 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.
<sigh>
It is one thing I really miss, not eating wheat. Going and buying a greasy, unhealthy (but oh so tasty) 'baked' thing. So greasy that the paper it comes in is transparent, the ingredients are indeterminate, the pastry layered with grease and painted with extra grease and a few layers of cheap, toasted cheese. Preferably so hot that the inside burns your mouth off.

I haven't done it for years, but the post-pub pasty after a long session was a pleasure not to be missed. A colleague of mine used to buy two on account of it 'being a long journey' (to zone 2). I don't think there's anything healthy in an 'award winning' pasty, I suspect the contents would only be identified through DNA analysis. But biting into one and unleashing that volcanic gout of steam to broil the top of your mouth, followed by the belch of meaty aroma that you know no one sober in the carriage will appreciate. Oh my. It's the middle-class kebab. You'd wake up the following morning and burp something that smelled like an animal had died in your mouth several days before. Then you'd realise that the top of your mouth was hanging there like a dilapidated trampoline.

A series of sensations only put into context by the runaway train of an hangover slamming into your head a few moments later while your stomach started the slow aerobatic roll of protest.

I think I might sell my Big Dong to 7-11. A foot long core of sausage in a mantle of spicy beef chilli, wrapped in finest cheese and bacon pastry, rolled in nacho chips, and deep fried. And then left to mature on the rollers under a heat lamp for a week to attain perfection. The last bit is important and often overlooked. It's why the kebab is supreme, that skewer of mystery meat has been twirling like the world's saddest ballerina for weeks, not so much overturning all the rules of food hygiene as we know them but giving them the finger (refrigerate meat, pah). I haven't, I confess, been drunk enough to consummate my evening with a kebab for a couple of decades. I remember once on the top deck of the night bus home someone eating one and someone else emerging from the stairs and declaring loudly 'WHO'S FUCKING DOG DIED?" That was bonhomie N172-style.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on 29 August, 2017, 09:08:54 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.

That sounds amazing.

IWOOT!!1! Hell yeah!

I've thought of a name for that.

The Dibbler.
CMOT  ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 29 August, 2017, 09:23:42 pm
This one's just surreal.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15499267.House_of_Fraser_evacuated_after_fox_falls_through_ceiling/

Fah!

http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/property/homeowners-discover-honey-dripping-through-380284 (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/property/homeowners-discover-honey-dripping-through-380284)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 30 August, 2017, 08:56:27 am
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.
<sigh>
It is one thing I really miss, not eating wheat. Going and buying a greasy, unhealthy (but oh so tasty) 'baked' thing. So greasy that the paper it comes in is transparent, the ingredients are indeterminate, the pastry layered with grease and painted with extra grease and a few layers of cheap, toasted cheese. Preferably so hot that the inside burns your mouth off.

I haven't done it for years, but the post-pub pasty after a long session was a pleasure not to be missed. A colleague of mine used to buy two on account of it 'being a long journey' (to zone 2). I don't think there's anything healthy in an 'award winning' pasty, I suspect the contents would only be identified through DNA analysis. But biting into one and unleashing that volcanic gout of steam to broil the top of your mouth, followed by the belch of meaty aroma that you know no one sober in the carriage will appreciate. Oh my. It's the middle-class kebab. You'd wake up the following morning and burp something that smelled like an animal had died in your mouth several days before. Then you'd realise that the top of your mouth was hanging there like a dilapidated trampoline.

A series of sensations only put into context by the runaway train of an hangover slamming into your head a few moments later while your stomach started the slow aerobatic roll of protest.

I think I might sell my Big Dong to 7-11. A foot long core of sausage in a mantle of spicy beef chilli, wrapped in finest cheese and bacon pastry, rolled in nacho chips, and deep fried. And then left to mature on the rollers under a heat lamp for a week to attain perfection. The last bit is important and often overlooked. It's why the kebab is supreme, that skewer of mystery meat has been twirling like the world's saddest ballerina for weeks, not so much overturning all the rules of food hygiene as we know them but giving them the finger (refrigerate meat, pah). I haven't, I confess, been drunk enough to consummate my evening with a kebab for a couple of decades. I remember once on the top deck of the night bus home someone eating one and someone else emerging from the stairs and declaring loudly 'WHO'S FUCKING DOG DIED?" That was bonhomie N172-style.

My not-quite-2-year old step-granddaughter was given her first Greggs sausage roll this weekend.

Her response: "Oh wow! Delicious!"

Now, if only I can get her audaxing . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on 30 August, 2017, 09:19:38 am
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.

That sounds amazing.

IWOOT!!1! Hell yeah!

I've thought of a name for that.

The Dibbler.
CMOT  ;)

Indeed  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on 30 August, 2017, 09:47:26 am
This one's just surreal.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15499267.House_of_Fraser_evacuated_after_fox_falls_through_ceiling/

Fah!

http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/property/homeowners-discover-honey-dripping-through-380284 (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/property/homeowners-discover-honey-dripping-through-380284)
Oh. That must be what those old blues guys meant by "honey dripper". Light fittings, eh? Who'da guessed?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 September, 2017, 01:17:39 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-41122909

"Robert Fergus, 72, ran naked with a pair of scissors in the public reception of the MacDonald Loch Rannoch Hotel".

Running with scissors...didn't his mother tell him anything?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 01 September, 2017, 07:34:44 pm
http://www.rmcmedia.co.uk/vibe/food-and-drink/article/Here-are-all-the-events-IKEA-is-throwing-to-celebrate-Sheffield-store-opening (http://www.rmcmedia.co.uk/vibe/food-and-drink/article/Here-are-all-the-events-IKEA-is-throwing-to-celebrate-Sheffield-store-opening)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 01 September, 2017, 07:39:55 pm
In London, we simply hold a celebratory riot. Or, as some call it, over-enthusiastic shopping.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 01 September, 2017, 07:53:57 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-41122909

"Robert Fergus, 72, ran naked with a pair of scissors in the public reception of the MacDonald Loch Rannoch Hotel".

Running with scissors...didn't his mother tell him anything?

It's quite a nice hotel for the location. There's a swimming pool too!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 September, 2017, 01:41:48 pm
Python found lurking in bathroom toilet in Southend (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-41122975)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 September, 2017, 08:15:10 pm
Python found lurking in bathroom toilet in Southend (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-41122975)
Yes, Wow should have done up his flies.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 September, 2017, 09:55:17 pm
Meanwhile, in Bristol: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 05 September, 2017, 09:59:09 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 06 September, 2017, 08:56:28 am
I'd have blamed a big teleporting seagull.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 06 September, 2017, 10:21:18 am
Meanwhile, in Bristol: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

you got there first  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 06 September, 2017, 10:56:43 am
Once-upon-a-time in those hazy student days, one of our flatmates managed to combine pulling with enhanced inebriation (strangely concordant phenomena back then). But back at her place, amour be damned, he desperately needed a cheeky poo, so made his excuses and staggered to the bathroom, sat down, opened the bomb bay doors, and promptly passed out, in the process tumbling off the loo.

Anyway, there he was on the bathroom floor the next morning, trousers down, arse outwards and still mid-motion. One of her other flatmates walked in on this, erm, spectacle and screamed 'there's a man on the bathroom floor doing a poo.'

You have no idea how much he came to regret sharing this story.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 September, 2017, 08:42:25 pm
Is anyone else wondering, did she use her fingers?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 06 September, 2017, 09:29:30 pm
I dunno, but I wouldn't use my toothbrush again if I were him.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 06 September, 2017, 10:09:58 pm
There are so, so many questions begging about this story...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 September, 2017, 02:23:41 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15529748.Man_stole_8_blocks_of_cheese_before_punching_brave_Co_op_worker/?ref=mrb&lp=10#comments-anchor :smug:

The commentards on the Swindon Advertiser website have an admirably YACF-esque affection for bad puns.  Thank goodness the perp didn't steal fish.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 14 September, 2017, 07:59:13 pm
RSPCA called to rescue lizard that turns out to be a sock (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-41268025)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 14 September, 2017, 08:15:05 pm
Meanwhile, in Bristol: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

The BBC Pidgin version (https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/tori-41171196) of that story is a masterpiece.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 16 September, 2017, 12:03:30 pm
Teen climbs highest mountain in wales in his underwear and unsurprisingly gets hypothermic.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677)

"Nathan, who is studying sport, nutrition and health at university"  ???

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 16 September, 2017, 02:52:40 pm
...learns from practical experience and experiment.

Taught to Question and Challenge All He Reads in Books and Elsewhere...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 16 September, 2017, 04:02:35 pm
Is this stunt man related to Nuncio & Salvatore otp?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-41268427 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-41268427)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Paul H on 16 September, 2017, 04:12:57 pm
There's a bike up a pole
http://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/derby-news/bike-top-alvaston-sign-week-465169
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 16 September, 2017, 06:13:58 pm
Teen climbs highest mountain in wales in his underwear and unsurprisingly gets hypothermic.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677)

"Nathan, who is studying sport, nutrition and health at university"  ???

Possible a failed attempt at the Darwin Award?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 16 September, 2017, 06:23:45 pm
Teen climbs highest mountain in wales in his underwear and unsurprisingly gets hypothermic.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677)

"Nathan, who is studying sport, nutrition and health at university"  ???

Possible a failed attempt at the Darwin Award?
He raised £950 - but then there had to be an ambulance callout. How much did that cost?

Did the little idiot not think to have friends with hot drinks and warm clothing in case he got cold? It is autumn. What a knob (a cold, shrunken one).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 16 September, 2017, 06:53:35 pm
Non-member of Audax 'learn to survive or no brevet' education.

Suspect most of us learn how to dress the hard way, initially in a fairly tame environment. We've probably been cold or soaked and learned a lesson after thinking 'never again'.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 September, 2017, 07:07:28 pm
Suspect most of us learn how to dress the hard way, initially in a fairly tame environment. We've probably been cold or soaked and learned a lesson after thinking 'never again'.

The fable of The Ant And The Man seems relevant here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPg-v0I1KzU
https://youtu.be/EPg-v0I1KzU
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 20 September, 2017, 08:12:49 pm
Anyone live in Wales and care to nominate their milkman....

http://www.westerntelegraph.co.uk/pembrokeshirefarmer/15546898.Nominations_sought_for_dairy_award/?ref=rss (http://www.westerntelegraph.co.uk/pembrokeshirefarmer/15546898.Nominations_sought_for_dairy_award/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 20 September, 2017, 10:38:06 pm
Within a mile of my abode
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41334906 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41334906)
 :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 21 September, 2017, 02:26:10 pm
Within a mile of my abode
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41334906 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41334906)
 :(

Looks like the next series of The Apprentice is being made on a lower budget than previous ones.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Plug1n on 24 September, 2017, 06:36:38 am
http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/15552595.PROPERTY_NEWS__Parents_pay_highest_premium_to_leave_near_top_school/ (http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/15552595.PROPERTY_NEWS__Parents_pay_highest_premium_to_leave_near_top_school/)

"Parents pay highest premium to leave near top Beaconsfield school, Beaconsfield High"

Spell check wins again.

I think that we have better editing on YACF! 

And then not news, anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 September, 2017, 01:37:39 pm
It's the wrong Birmingham, Grommit! (http://road.cc/content/news/229827-us-rider-enters-race-wrong-birmingham)
Quote
"Birmingham was the coolest place I've been to in the UK yet," he said. "It was really fabulous.

"The people are great, the town's awesome, the guys that did the ride were really tremendous. It was a brilliant event.
I dread to think what Birmingham, Alabama is like if it's West Midlands namesake looks so great to him.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 September, 2017, 01:43:26 pm
Wrong Birmingham issues occur surprisingly regularly.  Bonus points to a certain university for embedding google search boxes on their site without restricting the search to the relevant domain.

If he's been to the UK, but not Edinburgh or London, and Birmingham's the coolest place yet, he's presumably been to Swindon or something.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 September, 2017, 02:37:13 pm
Or Didcot!  :D

Or maybe his impressions of the UK were formed through a forum just like this one...  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 September, 2017, 07:58:43 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15561310.Iceland_boss_assaulted_by_banned_shopper_wielding_frozen_chicken_curry/

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 27 September, 2017, 10:40:55 pm
I have heard tales of USAnian winter olympic fans heading to Albertville Alabama inspead of Albertville France.

It NEVER snows in Albertville Alabama
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 28 September, 2017, 12:42:05 am
It doesn't have to. It is white enough already.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on 05 October, 2017, 07:48:21 pm
If my first impressions of a place were 10,000 cyclists on closed roads with cheering crowds I'd be open to being impressed.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on 05 October, 2017, 10:02:48 pm
Local man says I’ve been into competitive bearding for some time now...

Read more at: http://www.rugbyadvertiser.co.uk/news/facial-hair-champion-from-rugby-wins-bronze-in-the-usa-1-8181788 (http://www.rugbyadvertiser.co.uk/news/facial-hair-champion-from-rugby-wins-bronze-in-the-usa-1-8181788)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 October, 2017, 09:06:42 am
New climate change strategy: beards to be harvested as bio-fuels.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 October, 2017, 06:55:17 pm
Is there an English word for being superficially ashamed yet, deep down, proud of your home town?

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15581771.Two_security_cameras_stolen_from_lampposts_in_Pinehurst/#comments-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 October, 2017, 06:56:13 pm
Swindonfreude?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 06 October, 2017, 07:00:30 pm
Swindonfreude?

No, that's the vicarious enjoyment engendered by reading about a place that even Slough looks down on. :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 October, 2017, 08:25:38 pm
Too much cheese lands van man in pickle with police (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-41566545)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 October, 2017, 08:29:12 pm
Is there an English word for being superficially ashamed yet, deep down, proud of your home town?

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15581771.Two_security_cameras_stolen_from_lampposts_in_Pinehurst/#comments-anchor

One of my formative childhood memories is of watching footage of oiks with ladders stealing CCTV cameras from a railway station on Police 5 while waiting for Sunday dinner.  The video was particularly high quality, so they'd evidently made the right choice.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 October, 2017, 02:44:02 pm
Too much cheese lands van man in pickle with police (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-41566545)
;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 12 October, 2017, 09:25:45 am
If he ate the cheese, it would still be on board the vehicle.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 October, 2017, 04:56:32 pm
If he ate the cheese, it would still be on board the vehicle.

But if the rozzers enticed him out of the van and gave him a waffer-thin mint...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 October, 2017, 05:58:39 pm
Dover sole 'jumps' down angler's throat in Bournemouth (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-41598493)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 October, 2017, 10:19:07 am
If he ate the cheese, it would still be on board the vehicle.
And then it's still a ton overweight.





IGMC
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 16 October, 2017, 11:27:36 am
Dover sole 'jumps' down angler's throat in Bournemouth (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-41598493)

He was trying to kiss it.

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/65/Darwin_Fish_01.svg/180px-Darwin_Fish_01.svg.png)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 October, 2017, 07:10:13 pm
Untaxed hearse clamped during funeral. Mourners not quite happy.
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/hearse-clamped-outside-bristol-central-657826
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 October, 2017, 06:38:48 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15612483.Noel_Gallagher_lookalike_spotted__licking_windows__in_Swindon/

The Swindon Advertiser makes a serious bid to win the Internet.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 October, 2017, 10:17:11 am
Lookalike?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 October, 2017, 10:39:34 am
Lookalik?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 31 October, 2017, 09:27:05 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15630898.Man_uses_penis_to_dial_for_an_ambulance_before_abusing_call_handler/

He was obviously using his dictaphone.  Really, there's only a fagpaper between the Swindon Advertiser and the Southend News Network these days.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 07 November, 2017, 08:41:16 pm
Piles cracked my toilet pan.  No, really.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15643676.Cracked_toilet_bowl_blamed_on_Network_Rail_piling/?ref=mrb&lp=12#comments-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 November, 2017, 03:39:28 pm
This throws up more questions than answers

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15648399.999_crews_called_after_Bassett_baby_stuck_in_loo/

Wouldn't a jelly baby dissolve in the water?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 10 November, 2017, 11:13:25 pm
Canada has provinces, right?

Canada naked kidnap case: suspects drank mystery 'trippy tea', relative says (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/nov/10/canada-naked-kidnapping-case-possibly-fueled-by-mysterious-tea)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 November, 2017, 06:25:44 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-41953644

Fucksake.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 13 November, 2017, 02:22:41 pm
I believe the patient has now died.

I hope the moton can now get out of their drive successfully.

And into the sea >:(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 14 November, 2017, 08:26:41 am
I wonder if the writer of that note reads the Daily Heil. In my experience that is just the sort of petty stupid that they do.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 14 November, 2017, 05:46:34 pm
He's apologised. (I'm calling this resolved - others will disagree, no doubt ... ):

_______________________________________________
“What I did was monstrous.”

“I just snapped and had a rush of blood to the head,” he said.  “I scribbled the note, rushed out and put it on the windscreen.

“There is no excuse for what I did. It was very bad. I knew it was wrong before a friend told me what had happened to the man in it.

“I have been to pray and ask for forgiveness. I hope the family accept my apology.

“I am someone who relies on the NHS, I suffer with a life-long disability, I know the truly amazing work the NHS does. If I could take it back, I would – regardless of if the man passed away or not.”
_______________________________________________
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 November, 2017, 12:36:04 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15662177.Greggs_apologises_for_replacing_baby_Jesus_with_a_sausage_roll/?ref=mrb&lp=1
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 15 November, 2017, 01:45:08 pm
At least it wasn't minced lamb
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 17 November, 2017, 10:19:23 am
Stag party (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/stag-plied-free-drinks-cheltenham-790721) gets terrible hangover on two Becks, two pints of lager, a glass of wine and cider. Oh, and two pints of milk.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 November, 2017, 06:31:59 pm
They got him on milk and...alcohol.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 17 November, 2017, 07:25:57 pm
;D  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 30 November, 2017, 11:28:17 am
Stanmore is not rreally provincial but I didn't put this in the 'fuds' thread...
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15691554.Parent_parks_car_in_woman___s_driveway_during_busy_school_run/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15691554.Parent_parks_car_in_woman___s_driveway_during_busy_school_run/?ref=ebln)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 30 November, 2017, 12:04:57 pm
'unavoidable disruption'?

I suspect it would be avoidable if they didn't feel the need to drive their kids to the school gate.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 30 November, 2017, 12:05:07 pm
Stanmore is not rreally provincial but I didn't put this in the 'fuds' thread...
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15691554.Parent_parks_car_in_woman___s_driveway_during_busy_school_run/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15691554.Parent_parks_car_in_woman___s_driveway_during_busy_school_run/?ref=ebln)
I believe that there is nothing the police can do about it either, even if they wanted to, because unless there is criminal damage it's a civil matter. I friend who lived near a football ground had a problem with this on a Saturday afternoon and often fantasised about getting a delivery of sand delivered after the perp had gone to the football. the problem is he knows where you live :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 30 November, 2017, 12:06:19 pm
That is SOP near schools, to the extent that some people near here have installed folding bollards on their drives.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 30 November, 2017, 12:13:33 pm
I live next door to a High School, and the main problem I have1 is with the six formers parking too close to my drive way making it difficult to get out. I politely train each new batch as they grow in numbers from September each year, but it does get wearing having to repeat the process each year.

1.now that my children have finished their schooling and my kitchen is no longer an extension to the 6th form common room!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 30 November, 2017, 01:09:58 pm
I live next door to a church that is also a nursery/scout club/music club/wedding venue. Our drive is invitingly wide.

It is not uncommon to step outside and find a car parked across it, or in it, with no driver in the car.   There is loads of parking on the adjacent road, but it would involve them walking, ooh, up to 60yards and crossing a road. Instead there is an insane clogging of a  narrow residential street, with cars doing 3 point turns in driveways and on pavements.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 01 December, 2017, 10:45:50 pm
<<Elf in safety alert over choking fears>>
From
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/england/beds_bucks_and_herts (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/england/beds_bucks_and_herts)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 07 December, 2017, 08:48:27 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-42271150
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 07 December, 2017, 08:56:38 pm
See also Darwin Awards.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 04 January, 2018, 11:19:13 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cambridgeshire-42555749/conington-level-crossing-britain-s-most-haunted (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cambridgeshire-42555749/conington-level-crossing-britain-s-most-haunted)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orraloon on 21 January, 2018, 03:47:46 pm
A teenage bellringer ?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-42758670
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 January, 2018, 04:05:50 pm
A teenage bellringer ?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-42758670

Sure, why not?  Plenty of teenagers are  a) musical  b) Christians  c) geeky  or some combination thereof that might lend itself to bell-ringing if they're given the opportunity.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2018, 04:46:40 pm
Sure, but it takes at least a decade of practice to match them in beer drinking.  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 22 January, 2018, 08:20:10 am
A teenage bellringer ?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-42758670
I started my intermittent campanology hobby as a teenager, but that was rather too long ago for my liking
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 January, 2018, 10:29:27 am
I know this is a serious story about nasty domestic abuse but the headline is certainly attention-grabbing:

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15893304.Man_so_lazy_he_got_partner_to_bring_him_a_bucket_to_bed_so_he_didn__39_t_have_to_get_up_to_go_to_the_toilet/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 24 January, 2018, 10:40:39 am
Great journalism skills. (http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/crashed-lorry-motorhome-block-road-1105832)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 24 January, 2018, 11:27:57 am
A teenage bellringer ?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-42758670

Sure, why not?  Plenty of teenagers are  a) musical  b) Christians  c) geeky  or some combination thereof that might lend itself to bell-ringing if they're given the opportunity.

My sister's gs is a bell ringer at the church across the road from us. He rings every Sunday and practises on a Wednesday. He has also been accepted into the Society of Ring Changers or whatever it's title is. I think he's still at primary school.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 24 January, 2018, 11:29:52 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-41953644

Fucksake.

This, a year or more ago, when we called an ambulance for Phyllis:

Quote
AUDI DRIVER (for it was he): How long are these ambulances going to be here? They are in the way.

MRS. WOW (who is much too polite at times like these): For as long as it takes!

(and shuts door in Audi driver's face)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 January, 2018, 04:37:32 pm
Great journalism skills. (http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/crashed-lorry-motorhome-block-road-1105832)
Seamless, as they say on b3ta.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 25 January, 2018, 07:02:04 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-41953644

Fucksake.


Following a link from that one

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41950775 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41950775)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 06 February, 2018, 07:11:53 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-42957156
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 06 February, 2018, 08:51:09 pm
I presume an infra-red camera might be able to distinguish a live tiger from a stuffed toy...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 08 February, 2018, 11:51:25 am
A sad one here. Local bike shop owner running a gang stealing bikes then selling them on:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15917203.Jail_for_gang_of_bike_thieves___including_cycle_shop_owner/?ref=ar
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 February, 2018, 12:03:33 pm
I think that's none too rare, sadly.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 08 February, 2018, 07:43:24 pm
https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/katie-hopkins-detained-south-africa-1172884

This has 3 good reasons to be on this thread:
- 2 provinces [Devon & South Africa]
- it's just the best news I've heard all week.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 08 February, 2018, 10:05:34 pm
Watch out, watch out. White vans about

http://www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/15907238.Warning_after____suspicious____white_vans_spotted_in_Hampton/?ref=ar (http://www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/15907238.Warning_after____suspicious____white_vans_spotted_in_Hampton/?ref=ar)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 09 February, 2018, 12:35:57 am
I’ll bet they were going 20
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 February, 2018, 04:41:02 pm
It's all kicking off in Balsall Heath: https://twitter.com/BhamUpdates/status/962717229124128768
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 February, 2018, 06:36:00 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15986341.Man_banned_from_Health_Hydro_after_dropping_his_trunks_and_pleasuring_himself/?ref=mr&lp=12
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 13 February, 2018, 09:15:37 pm
Bed linen stolen in Bridport.
http://www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/15991479.cctv-appeal-woman-wanted-after-theft-of-duvet-sets/ (http://www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/15991479.cctv-appeal-woman-wanted-after-theft-of-duvet-sets/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 14 February, 2018, 05:56:17 pm
Reversing the polarity.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-43063365
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 14 February, 2018, 06:04:47 pm
Reversing the polarity.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-43063365

That's quite a nasty potential gotcha, given the increasing popularity of magnetic closures on things.

Does that make an electronic compass (which can at least be moved away from the magnet and re-calibrated) potentially more reliable than a traditional one?

Not that I'd venture into the hills without a map, compass, torch, foul weather gear and a couple of GPS receivers...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on 14 February, 2018, 06:17:50 pm
I've just checked my mobile. The compass really doesn't work at all if it's in its case. It's fine if I remove the case.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 16 February, 2018, 11:42:43 am
8 lives left - that's one lucky moggy

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-43025021 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-43025021)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 18 February, 2018, 03:45:02 pm
Croydon's KFCs close cos no chicken and chips.
https://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/news/croydon-news/even-more-kfcs-across-croydon-1230509?utm_source=google_news&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=google_news&utm_content=sitemap (https://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/news/croydon-news/even-more-kfcs-across-croydon-1230509?utm_source=google_news&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=google_news&utm_content=sitemap)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on 18 February, 2018, 04:39:44 pm
This was a national crisis apparently. Not that I'd notice or care  :smug:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 18 February, 2018, 04:48:21 pm
Me neither! Don't think I've had a KFC for over 5  years.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 18 February, 2018, 05:09:03 pm
I've never had one ever.
I must experience one before I  die.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 February, 2018, 05:53:59 pm
I've never had one ever.
I must experience one before I  die.

Preferably not immediately before.


I had a KFC once.  Emphasis on the once.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 18 February, 2018, 05:56:56 pm
 ;D

Never had a Nandos either.  My expectation is that I never will.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 18 February, 2018, 06:02:57 pm
I can't imagine that a lack of fried ratchicken in south London will be anything other than a good thing. A bit less litter to pick up as well (we have a KFC, so it's most of the litter, it being traditional to shove the greasy nasty into your mouth while you walk home, slurping down some sugar solution, and then once done, throw it into the bushes). That and the roundabout at the end of town keeps getting demolished because customers park there right in front of the KFC (and the cashpoint next door) and prevent lorries getting around properly.

ETA: there's no shortage of parking but I guess if you need junk food, you really have to stop right there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 February, 2018, 06:05:28 pm
;D

Never had a Nandos either.  My expectation is that I never will.

There's a little part of my brain that's perpetually mixing up Nandos and Nagios.  Probably because they both mean you're having a bad day.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on 18 February, 2018, 06:27:29 pm
I had a KFC once.  Emphasis on the once.
[/quote]
Me too. Except in our case we'd run out of money (in pre-cashpoint archaic times) and only had enough for a corn-on-the-cob each. Probably the most disgusting thing I have ever eaten.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 February, 2018, 06:45:36 pm
Meanwhile, from the department of deja-vu: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-stoke-staffordshire-43104314
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Moleman76 on 19 February, 2018, 07:22:37 am
^ emergency services could just note that address, and decline to answer calls from her in the future, so as not inconvenience
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orraloon on 19 February, 2018, 10:03:52 am
^  Leave voter central.  Join your own dots.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on 19 February, 2018, 10:59:05 am
Apparently an arrest has been made.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on 19 February, 2018, 11:42:27 am
;D

Never had a Nandos either.  My expectation is that I never will.

I've once been in a KFC with friends but didn't order anything. I probably should make the effort at some point if I want to criticise rather than simply sneering - but it's never yet appealed enough ...

Nandos, though, is actually quite decent. We've been a few times - partly because my wife gets a discount as NHS staff - and having overcome my initial snobbery, I quite like it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 19 February, 2018, 11:57:10 am
Apparently an arrest has been made.
Is it mean of me that I get a gentle feeling of satisfaction from this?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 20 February, 2018, 10:04:50 am
I like Nandos.  Their veggie burgers are particularly good. 

KFC, however... well, I tried it once.  In Clacton.  Our archery club bought a barfin' bucket.

Never again.  And not just because I'm now veggie.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 20 February, 2018, 10:05:59 am
Croydon's KFCs close cos no chicken and chips.
https://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/news/croydon-news/even-more-kfcs-across-croydon-1230509?utm_source=google_news&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=google_news&utm_content=sitemap (https://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/news/croydon-news/even-more-kfcs-across-croydon-1230509?utm_source=google_news&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=google_news&utm_content=sitemap)
Fortunately, there are a squillion alternative fried chicken shops in Croydon, so no one had to starve.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 20 February, 2018, 10:41:31 pm
This may be off-topic because it's cycling related, but I'm sharing it because it contains the most exciting and inspiring piece of video I've ever encountered on a news site(!)

https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/local-news/you-need-know-new-cycle-14314669
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 20 February, 2018, 11:15:15 pm
This may be off-topic because it's cycling related, but I'm sharing it because it contains the most exciting and inspiring piece of video I've ever encountered on a news site(!)

https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/local-news/you-need-know-new-cycle-14314669

Should cyclists equip themselves with Bonio Chews?  Or wot?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 February, 2018, 06:36:46 am
Won't it be full of drunken Poly Birmingham City University students?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 21 February, 2018, 10:05:29 am
That looks very impressive.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 21 February, 2018, 10:34:25 am
No wonder it is taking a long time, one shovel full at a time!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 February, 2018, 11:36:09 am
This may be off-topic because it's cycling related, but I'm sharing it because it contains the most exciting and inspiring piece of video I've ever encountered on a news site(!)

https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/local-news/you-need-know-new-cycle-14314669
You're right! Not only Yellow Machines but Orange Machines too. In fact, you get the Triple Whammy of Yellow Machines, Orange Machines and Men In Orange Hi-viz all working together in one shot!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 February, 2018, 11:41:48 am
No wonder it is taking a long time, one shovel full at a time!

They had to have a consultation on whether to buy that shovel, and then there was a legal challenge...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 28 February, 2018, 01:46:51 pm
Little eye on the London province of Uxbridge

http://metro.co.uk/2018/02/28/pensioner-banned-every-farm-pushing-entire-arm-cows-backside-masturbating-7348884/ (http://metro.co.uk/2018/02/28/pensioner-banned-every-farm-pushing-entire-arm-cows-backside-masturbating-7348884/)

 :o :hand: :sick:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 28 February, 2018, 01:58:36 pm
I was obviously mistaken about "All Creatures Great and Small"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 10 March, 2018, 01:12:42 pm
'Poo-shaming' map hopes to tackle dog fouling (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-43334730)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 10 March, 2018, 01:40:15 pm
'Poo-shaming' map hopes to tackle dog fouling (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-43334730)
That goes very well with your sig
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 March, 2018, 08:24:13 pm
People are being unpatriotic about jam again: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-43363435
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 11 March, 2018, 08:33:35 pm
People are being unpatriotic about jam again: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-43363435

I knew someone would pick that one up!

I was too lazy...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 March, 2018, 08:45:18 pm
Yebbut which is a "skon" and which is a "skohn"?  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 March, 2018, 08:56:07 pm
People are being unpatriotic about jam again: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-43363435
I shall add it to Trago Mills, Mebyon Kernow and living in Plymouth but rushing a pregnant wife to Liskeard so your baby won't be born "foreign", as reasons to laugh at the Cornish.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Morat on 11 March, 2018, 10:03:43 pm
Yebbut which is a "skon" and which is a "skohn"?  ;D
Skon and Cream First!
Mrs Morat regards cream first as a crime roughly equivalent to genocide, so I understand the wrath.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 11 March, 2018, 10:12:37 pm
Jam one half, cream the other.

What exactly is the fucking problem here!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on 11 March, 2018, 10:27:55 pm
When I'm in Cornwall for a week shortly I'll test as many 'cream teas' as possible to see which way prevails.

Care to take bets Anybody?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 11 March, 2018, 10:44:45 pm
Your sacrifice is above and beyond the call of duty...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 11 March, 2018, 10:47:24 pm
Jam tomorrow.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 12 March, 2018, 09:54:05 am
It's scone as in 'cone' where I come from and cream comes first, it's like butter innit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 March, 2018, 10:04:35 am
I usually prefer to skip the jam and maybe the cream altogether.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 12 March, 2018, 10:14:15 am
Scone as in cone as Ian says, but he's wrong about the cream. Jam first, otherwise it's an unstable structure.
Mind ewe, Dr Beardy (Mrs) disagrees with me, but then I'm used to that  ;D

We'll also be in the West Country in a couple of weeks doing field work, though we'll be in Devon
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on 12 March, 2018, 11:37:14 am
Kajsa is the scon expert
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 March, 2018, 08:09:58 am
Grandly-named bus gets up a hill.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/16096118.Bus_driver__39_s_skills_praised_as_he_gets_Queen_Boadicea_back_on_the_move_in_treacherous_conditions/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 19 March, 2018, 12:17:21 pm
Quote
The number 11 Thamesdown bus, named after the Queen of the Brits...

Queen of the Brits? I thought she was Queen of the Iceni. ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 19 March, 2018, 01:26:21 pm
Trump is correct, video games do cause violence!
http://www.kulr8.com/story/37752531/sheriff-boy-shoots-sister-in-video-game-controller-dispute (http://www.kulr8.com/story/37752531/sheriff-boy-shoots-sister-in-video-game-controller-dispute)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 March, 2018, 12:17:50 am
This seems relevant to YACFers' interests:  Man on horse tries to place McDonald's drive-thru order (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-43505739)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 March, 2018, 08:25:17 am
I don't entirely get why they refuse to serve a horse rider a coffee. I'm sure I horse can trot from ordering point to delivery hatch in just the same time as a driver can drive a car. Or a cyclist for that matter. Come to that, you could walk it. It's really just a takeaway, geared particularly to people in cars, but a takeaway like millions of others.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 March, 2018, 01:28:53 pm
A ring of active Satanism and Black Magic has been uncovered in a Polish school. Not just any school, it's in the town where Mrs Cudzo grew up and even more so, one of her friends works there now. Her friend isn't linked to the coven (at least, not officially), she teaches Polish and the Satanists are all in the English Department. The cabal came to light recently when
(click to show/hide)
Having said she's not involved, I'm not so sure; when she visited a couple of years ago, she did
(click to show/hide)
Watch this space (for frogs and toadstools).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 March, 2018, 01:30:12 pm
I don't entirely get why they refuse to serve a horse rider a coffee. I'm sure I horse can trot from ordering point to delivery hatch in just the same time as a driver can drive a car. Or a cyclist for that matter. Come to that, you could walk it. It's really just a takeaway, geared particularly to people in cars, but a takeaway like millions of others.

I suppose there may be issues with reaching the serving hatch from the saddle of a horse, but I think it's just the great tradition of "this is weird, let's ban it citing health and safety".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 March, 2018, 01:48:37 pm
Yes, it's possible someone reaching down from the saddle of a horse could spill hot coffee over a server. I wonder if they serve lorry drivers? I dare say there's a porch thingy with a height limit that makes it impossible. But what if the horse rider dismounted, would they serve them on foot (or a pedestrian)? (Yes, I know this bloke got a coffee on foot but he had to tether his horse and go into the actual cafe part to get it.) Kind of related, I note (from passing a particular McD's regularly and seeing through the windows) that at least some (non-drive in) branches seem to have done away with things like staff taking orders; you order and pay at one of a number of screens, then go to a hatch to collect. At least, that's certainly what it looks like (Bristol Cabot Circus branch, if you want to know)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 March, 2018, 01:54:56 pm
Kind of related, I note (from passing a particular McD's regularly and seeing through the windows) that at least some (non-drive in) branches seem to have done away with things like staff taking orders; you order and pay at one of a number of screens, then go to a hatch to collect. At least, that's certainly what it looks like (Bristol Cabot Circus branch, if you want to know)

Yeah, it's definitely a thing.  I first encountered it at the terrifying Michael Jackson themed branch of the Scottish Restaurant in Best (https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/the-latest-news-on-the-fridays-vi-v-a-colonia-tour.206807/page-18#post-4483608).  Seems to work well enough, in that you can interact with the computer in your own time (and language) to make the order and pay, and the minimum-wage oiks can concentrate on flipping burgers and stuff.  Barakta thinks they're brilliant, because you don't have to hear anything in what is inevitably an acoustically hostile environment.

I heard somewhere that in busy locations they've actually had to employ more staff because electronic ordering means higher customer throughput.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Butterfly on 23 March, 2018, 02:34:03 pm
Yes, it's possible someone reaching down from the saddle of a horse could spill hot coffee over a server. I wonder if they serve lorry drivers? I dare say there's a porch thingy with a height limit that makes it impossible. But what if the horse rider dismounted, would they serve them on foot (or a pedestrian)? (Yes, I know this bloke got a coffee on foot but he had to tether his horse and go into the actual cafe part to get it.)

They have form for refusing to serve anyone not in a car in the drive through. It's ridiculous when they won't serve a cyclist when that is the only open bit. Mark THomas took various vehicles through to wind them up including a  tank - there are videos on YouTube.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 23 March, 2018, 02:53:24 pm
  Barakta thinks they're brilliant, because you don't have to hear anything in what is inevitably an acoustically hostile environment.
This. I try and use self service tills whenever they are available because I don't have to interact with people who often treat me as if I'm stupid because they are unable to enunciate clearly.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 23 March, 2018, 03:04:19 pm
I just find that it creates an obstruction when I'm on the way to the bog at motorway services.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on 23 March, 2018, 03:10:05 pm
On the occasion that I have visited said establishment, having somebody with me to read and operate the contraption proved to be absolutely essential. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 March, 2018, 03:21:02 pm
Yes, it's possible someone reaching down from the saddle of a horse could spill hot coffee over a server. I wonder if they serve lorry drivers? I dare say there's a porch thingy with a height limit that makes it impossible. But what if the horse rider dismounted, would they serve them on foot (or a pedestrian)? (Yes, I know this bloke got a coffee on foot but he had to tether his horse and go into the actual cafe part to get it.)

They have form for refusing to serve anyone not in a car in the drive through. It's ridiculous when they won't serve a cyclist when that is the only open bit. Mark THomas took various vehicles through to wind them up including a  tank - there are videos on YouTube.
Don't recognize the name... but found the video! https://youtu.be/71-h9A2XvWo I like the clowns best!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 27 March, 2018, 11:36:25 pm
Breaking news: Police have arrested Tullio Campagnolo.

https://www.bikebiz.com/news/shimano-on-fire (https://www.bikebiz.com/news/shimano-on-fire)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 April, 2018, 10:34:30 am
Quote
Bath woman’s Pavlova plans ruined after Waitrose strawberries go mouldy
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/bath-womans-pavlova-plans-ruined-1475899
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 April, 2018, 12:01:01 pm
Don't trivialise it...these things MATTER in Bath, dammit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 24 April, 2018, 01:32:19 pm
FWP, surely?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 30 April, 2018, 03:36:59 pm
I just like the headline:

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/scots-football-star-frantically-chases-dog-after-he-ate-his-false-teeth-1-4731993
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 30 April, 2018, 04:18:00 pm
Quote
Bath woman’s Pavlova plans ruined after Waitrose strawberries go mouldy
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/bath-womans-pavlova-plans-ruined-1475899

Worth reading just for the argument in the comments section below
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 02 May, 2018, 02:40:55 pm
Those helpful people over at reddit have been compiling a record of the antics of the colonial evolutionary-throwback-cum-crap-superhero known as 'Florida Man': https://www.reddit.com/r/FloridaMan/

(Lock up your swans)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 02 May, 2018, 02:57:49 pm
And there was I thinking that Florida Man was a reference to The Perambulating Orange Toupee stand
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 22 May, 2018, 12:44:00 am
Let him among us who has not got utterly mashed and then stopped by the peelers partway through filling a hotel bath with potatoes cast the first spud - sorry, I mean stone...  :D

Quote
A man found filling his hotel bath with potatoes went on a “bizarre” five-day drug binge with his friends.

James Johnson, 30, was caught by officers wearing a woman’s bra over his shirt and carrying a bag of spuds as he entered the Travelodge in Eastleigh.

His room was searched and an assortment of drugs, including ecstasy, 5-MAPB - similar to MDMA - and psychedelic substance 2CB were found as well as the tub full of potatoes.

When queried by baffled Judge Peter Henry at Southampton Crown Court as to why he had done it, he was told that “it felt like the right thing to do at the time”.

http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/16238593.Man_wears_bra_and_fills_hotel_bath_full_of_potatoes_during___39_bizarre__39__binge/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 May, 2018, 11:51:13 am
When they refer to "a woman's bra" do they mean a bra belonging to a specific woman, or merely wish to emphasise that it wasn't a man-bra?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 22 May, 2018, 11:56:11 am
How long has filling a hotel bath with potatoes been illegal?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 22 May, 2018, 12:05:05 pm
I think it goes back to the time of The Peelers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Nuncio on 22 May, 2018, 01:10:28 pm
Earlier than that - since the first King Edward.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 22 May, 2018, 04:33:13 pm
By YACF punning standards, this is a bit of a half-baked effort - have you all had your chips already, or is this sort of thing really gratin these days?

The antipodean members must think we're lazy pommes...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 May, 2018, 06:54:56 pm
To be fair, he was Smashed at the time.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 23 May, 2018, 12:31:58 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44209773 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44209773)
This made me laugh:
Quote
"I don't know Cheltenham very well at all. I was born in Gloucester," she said.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 23 May, 2018, 08:55:07 pm
Reunited now.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44222054 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44222054)

Bit concerned they're too scatty to be safe on the roads.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 May, 2018, 07:51:57 am
Reunited now.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44222054 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-44222054)

Bit concerned they're too scatty to be safe on the roads.
ditto
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 24 May, 2018, 01:32:30 pm
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 24 May, 2018, 06:40:33 pm
Civil war in East Budleigh ends as council votes NOT to put fence around football pitch (https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/civil-war-east-budleigh-ends-1416978)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 24 June, 2018, 09:36:25 pm
East Devon News:-
"Lawn mower severely damaged in Musbury blaze"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tod28 on 20 July, 2018, 01:28:18 pm
North Devon News  -  The "Pilton Penis"

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/giant-penises-appearing-devon-road-1806731 (https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/giant-penises-appearing-devon-road-1806731)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 31 July, 2018, 02:27:46 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-45018213 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-45018213)

Major disaster averted by taking a piss.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on 31 July, 2018, 07:22:23 pm
Normal in Essex   :o ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 31 July, 2018, 10:35:07 pm
'Humongous' wasps' nest found in Newbury garage cupboard (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-berkshire-45020336/humongous-wasps-nest-found-in-newbury-garage-cupboard)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 August, 2018, 04:56:01 pm
'Humongous' wasps' nest found in Newbury garage cupboard (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-berkshire-45020336/humongous-wasps-nest-found-in-newbury-garage-cupboard)
Use of the word 'humongous' is another clear sign of the continuing deterioration in standards at the BBC.

They should have called it 'ginaggerous'.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 August, 2018, 07:12:07 pm
I think the End Times officially started when Little Tommy Schafernaker used the word "amazeballs" during a pre-watershed weather forecast.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 August, 2018, 10:16:14 am
I didn’t even realise Redcar was by the sea.

https://metro.co.uk/2018/08/03/women-continued-eating-chips-as-man-repeatedly-banged-penis-on-their-window-7792550/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 August, 2018, 08:48:18 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/burglars-toolkit-recovered-after-police-15037506


Men arrested after cycling at 3AM with toolkit.     Are we missing any audaxers ?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 August, 2018, 11:55:58 am
Since Hubjub are useless for EAI sprockets these days, it was waaaay cheaper to buy a new 47T TA track chainring to use with a spare 18T than to import a 20T from the USA (about £45 before any duty, VAT and Parcelforce charges).

Annoying, because I really liked my 52 x 20.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 August, 2018, 03:42:14 pm
Man unhappy that restaurant agreed to serve him (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/diner-furious-orange-basketball-shirt-1916752)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 August, 2018, 09:29:33 am
Man unhappy that restaurant agreed to serve him (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/diner-furious-orange-basketball-shirt-1916752)
He looks like Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket.  I hope they didn't let him in the toilets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 31 August, 2018, 10:18:14 am
Man wishes to marry a cow. Not sure if it will be able to read its side. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-45354430)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 01 September, 2018, 01:16:33 pm
Man unhappy that restaurant agreed to serve him (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/diner-furious-orange-basketball-shirt-1916752)
He looks like Private Pyle from Full Metal Jacket.  I hope they didn't let him in the toilets.
;D

I've no idea why I clicked on that, but it was very rewarding.

I liked his interpretation of a smart-casual dress code:

I was wearing shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt. That surely counts as casual."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Salvatore on 01 September, 2018, 04:49:45 pm
Cromer hit by a small tsunami.

(https://i.imgur.com/UbQIs84.png)
(Norwich and Bury Times, 23 November 1825)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andytheflyer on 02 September, 2018, 09:03:13 am
Cromer hit by a small tsunami.

(https://i.imgur.com/UbQIs84.png)
(Norwich and Bury Times, 23 November 1825)

Can't find any evidence for an 1825 event, but they do happen (maybe more commonly than we'd like to think):

http://www.bbc.co.uk/earth/story/20160323-the-terrifying-tsunami-that-devastated-britain

Here's a catalogue of what we (think we) know:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsunamis_affecting_the_British_Isles
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 03 September, 2018, 07:20:14 pm
Tunnel vision
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cornwall-45401354
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 September, 2018, 08:25:44 am
Man with tackle out tackles interloper

http://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/16607746.naked-brawler-launches-brutal-assault-mid-coitus/?ref=ar

Although the best bit is the "file photo of a ladder".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 06 September, 2018, 06:19:43 pm
Firewood goes up in flames...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-45431703
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 September, 2018, 11:21:47 pm
'Creepy' alarm sound made Ipswich woman 'feel sick' (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-suffolk-45501615/creepy-alarm-sound-made-ipswich-woman-feel-sick)

I don't think they make enough of the twist ending, but kudos for the "May contain upsetting scenes" warning.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 16 September, 2018, 08:26:14 am
Nobody tosses a dwarf in Devizes.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-45522480
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 21 September, 2018, 04:07:44 pm
Blimey - I've cycled past there several times.  With my luck that could have turned into another "bee swarm incident"

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cambridgeshire-45604525/more-than-60000-bees-found-in-roof-of-cambridge-hospital (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cambridgeshire-45604525/more-than-60000-bees-found-in-roof-of-cambridge-hospital)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jakob W on 21 September, 2018, 08:19:44 pm
Huh - that was on one of my regular loops as well, back when I lived in Cherry Hinton. One of my friends does regular visits to the hospital - will have to ask her if she ever heard the buzzing...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 21 September, 2018, 10:35:43 pm
Blimey - I've cycled past there several times.  With my luck that could have turned into another "bee swarm incident"

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cambridgeshire-45604525/more-than-60000-bees-found-in-roof-of-cambridge-hospital (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cambridgeshire-45604525/more-than-60000-bees-found-in-roof-of-cambridge-hospital)
It’s been reclassified.

It’s no longer a B Road.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 21 September, 2018, 10:54:13 pm
Blimey - I've cycled past there several times.  With my luck that could have turned into another "bee swarm incident"

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cambridgeshire-45604525/more-than-60000-bees-found-in-roof-of-cambridge-hospital (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cambridgeshire-45604525/more-than-60000-bees-found-in-roof-of-cambridge-hospital)

Hmmm....

60,000 bees stolen in raid on Aberdeenshire farm (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-45597954)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 24 September, 2018, 05:00:19 pm
This  I could get behind (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/neighbour-complains-council-house-bike-2029002)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 25 September, 2018, 10:53:21 pm
Possible overlap with the shite courier thread:

Woman throws parcels into woodlands in Chatham (https://www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/delivery-driver-launches-packages-into-woods-187800/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 October, 2018, 10:56:23 am
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/stash-vintage-porn-mags-house-2076078
Quote
In a bid to dispose of the magazines, Karl has listed them on eBay - where items like this sometimes sell for up to £60.

“I would have thought someone would just ask how much for the whole lot. I can imagine there's lots of private collectors out there,” he said.
"I saw this and thought of Roger"!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 05 October, 2018, 10:28:55 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/stash-vintage-porn-mags-house-2076078
Quote
In a bid to dispose of the magazines, Karl has listed them on eBay - where items like this sometimes sell for up to £60.

“I would have thought someone would just ask how much for the whole lot. I can imagine there's lots of private collectors out there,” he said.
"I saw this and thought of Roger"!

My favourite bit in this story is the indoor horses.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 11 October, 2018, 11:01:08 am
Bucks Free Press "No shit, Sherlock!" exclusive


Quote
REVEALED: Bad drivers are the main cause of road accidents in Bucks


https://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/16974624.revealed-bad-drivers-are-the-main-cause-of-road-accidents-in-bucks/ (https://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/16974624.revealed-bad-drivers-are-the-main-cause-of-road-accidents-in-bucks/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 October, 2018, 11:58:21 am
Naked jam-smeared women in Manchester was 'art stunt' (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-45805812)

Police respond with pun.

I want to know more about the attempt to make toast.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 11 October, 2018, 03:49:01 pm
Looking at the last pic you could be forgiven for thinking it had all gone horribly wrong and they both needed urgent care. At least that's how it looks on my phone...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 October, 2018, 04:58:17 pm
Strawberry jam is on the generic poo/blood/oil colour spectrum, all of which are bad things to be smeared in.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 October, 2018, 05:41:06 pm
Yes, they should have used marmalade. Or maybe honey. But not chocolate spread.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 11 October, 2018, 06:00:52 pm
Chocolate spread was used to conceal Baby P's injuries.

Until I read the reports I had never been suspicious about Nutella... :'(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 14 October, 2018, 02:34:10 am
ReTweeted by QG...

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dpbm-XnW0AAQJOQ.jpg)
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dpbm-XqXoAAdC5v.jpg)
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dpbm-XxXoAElBEi.jpg)
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dpbm-XxWkAE14Mk.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 21 October, 2018, 08:17:06 pm
at least we're getting something useful out of 3 years of roadworks

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-45905645 (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-45905645)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 October, 2018, 09:01:30 pm
Not a news item but I see Bristol has a Windscreens Avenue (it's just before the start of the railway path to Bath).  There is a Windshield Drive on Fishers Island in New York state.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 October, 2018, 10:45:53 am
Not a news item but I see Bristol has a Windscreens Avenue (it's just before the start of the railway path to Bath).  There is a Windshield Drive on Fishers Island in New York state.
Yeah, but ours was the original!* I think Windscreens Av is technically a private drive.


*I haven't a clue if this is true or not.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 October, 2018, 10:49:27 am
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dpbm-XxWkAE14Mk.jpg)
I considered whether the LEP could be twin of the Southend News Network... but it's not. There is a shrine of the Buddha's tooth in Kandy, Sri Lanka, but...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 October, 2018, 01:16:31 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/thief-high-crack-toilet-bike-2163591
Quote
Staff at a builder's merchants had a shock when a man loaded a toilet on his bike and pedalled off.

Dale Charran admitted being high on drugs when he ran out of supplies and decided to grab the cistern unit from Bradfords Building Supplies in Avonmouth.

Police flushed him out after identifying him on CCTV.
Perhaps this should really be in "I carried this on my bike"! Good the police have flushed the little shit out, his life was obviously a bit crap. You might say he'd gone round the bend.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 31 October, 2018, 01:19:38 pm
Who's going to be first to pan Cudzo for those execrable puns?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 31 October, 2018, 01:47:24 pm
Yes they can be a little potty.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 October, 2018, 01:53:33 pm
Standards here are going down the pan.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wobbly John on 31 October, 2018, 02:11:11 pm
A good result considering they initially had nothing to go on...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 31 October, 2018, 03:32:31 pm
The police are clearly on a roll.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 31 October, 2018, 09:04:13 pm
Quote
A Westcountry woman who hit the headlines when she revealed she had cheated on her fiance by having sex with a ghost - and went on to say she had 15 ghost lovers - has now revealed she has found true love and is planning to marry a poltergeist.

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/woman-who-sex-15-ghosts-2161821
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 31 October, 2018, 09:46:56 pm
That's the spirit!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 31 October, 2018, 09:48:04 pm
She certainly believes in paranormal activity.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Hot Flatus on 31 October, 2018, 09:53:30 pm
Quote
A Westcountry woman who hit the headlines when she revealed she had cheated on her fiance by having sex with a ghost - and went on to say she had 15 ghost lovers - has now revealed she has found true love and is planning to marry a poltergeist.

https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/woman-who-sex-15-ghosts-2161821

Mary loves dick! Mary loves dick!

https://youtu.be/I8H_v8cM9CQ
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 01 November, 2018, 08:49:22 am
Phantom pregnancy?

BTW, years ago, on a route that we used in the Cotwolds, there was a building firm called Spook Erections... OK, carry on.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 01 November, 2018, 10:18:47 am
There used to be a massive Spook Erection on Earl Grey St in Edinburgh.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 01 November, 2018, 10:51:35 am
Talking of phantom pregnancies, I had morning sickness last week. Well, at least, I vomited every morning for three days after having breakfast. It was most bizarre.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 02 November, 2018, 01:51:01 pm
Reading this...

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-suffolk-46070239

...made me very sad.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 02 November, 2018, 02:49:06 pm
This just beggars belief (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-46059577).

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on 02 November, 2018, 05:37:16 pm
Apparently all foreign men of whatever age are rapists.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 13 November, 2018, 07:16:17 am
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/crime/marked-police-van-stolen-from-outside-sussex-police-station/ar-BBPDbu1?ocid=spartanntp

Balkans, Baltics...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 November, 2018, 08:37:12 am
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/crime/marked-police-van-stolen-from-outside-sussex-police-station/ar-BBPDbu1?ocid=spartanntp

Balkans, Baltics...
??? There's nothing about the Balkans or the Baltics there.

However:
Quote
Sean Warman, 27, from Lowestoft, was arrested in Bungay on Sunday morning, according to the force.
A short sharp shock will do him a tonic...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 17 November, 2018, 09:35:35 am
Darting fart players (http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/darts/46245993).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ham on 19 November, 2018, 09:16:27 pm
'tis my locality, the furore on the local facebook group was palpable....  https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-46265117
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 November, 2018, 11:05:50 pm
Les Dennis graffiti mystery in Norwich (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-46308262)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 23 November, 2018, 02:24:40 am
Two from the Bournemouth/Dorset Echo...
https://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/17241490.peta-wants-to-change-wools-name/ (https://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/17241490.peta-wants-to-change-wools-name/)
https://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14515534.shitterton-doesnt-make-this-years-rudest-place-names-list-but-somewhere-in-dorset-does/ (https://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14515534.shitterton-doesnt-make-this-years-rudest-place-names-list-but-somewhere-in-dorset-does/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 November, 2018, 08:20:28 pm
(https://i2-prod.bristolpost.co.uk/incoming/article2256680.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/0_TMR_BRI_61120e4walk_04.jpg)
Rogerzilla has moved to Bristol and bought a dog.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/residents-baffled-stormtrooper-spotted-walking-2256770
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 26 November, 2018, 09:15:27 pm
The first thing I thought when I saw that image was “that’s Bradley Stoke”. That was before reading any of the text.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 November, 2018, 03:46:32 pm
The Galactic Empire took over Bradley Stoke in the 1990s recession, when the houses were cheap. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 29 November, 2018, 07:44:45 pm
Human remains recovered from River irwell. Police say no suspicious circumstances. (https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/police-say-no-suspicious-circumstances-15482610)

We may have achieved a new nadir in police indifference.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 30 November, 2018, 09:16:50 am
Local journalism at it's best:

Anybody reading this article in the Welwyn and Hatfield Times would be forgiven for thinking it's now illegal to ride mountain bikes in Welwyn Garden City..

Quote
Boy fined for riding off-road bike in Welwyn Garden City

https://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/off-road ... -1-5799187


At no point in the article does it mention the offernder was riding a *motor*bike. Riding an off-road bike without L Plates or insurance is perfectly legal. Riding an off-road motorbike on the other hand...   ::-)

Some people might accuse me of being pedantic, but this to me is a good example of shite reporting.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andytheflyer on 30 November, 2018, 01:30:13 pm
Human remains recovered from River irwell. Police say no suspicious circumstances. (https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/police-say-no-suspicious-circumstances-15482610)

We may have achieved a new nadir in police indifference.

Followed by one in the journalist's use of English in the subtitle.  ".....who it belonged to?"  What's wrong with "...to whom it belonged"?

The country's gone to the dogs...….
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 November, 2018, 01:31:56 pm
Local journalism at it's best:

Anybody reading this article in the Welwyn and Hatfield Times would be forgiven for thinking it's now illegal to ride mountain bikes in Welwyn Garden City..

Quote
Boy fined for riding off-road bike in Welwyn Garden City

https://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/off-road ... -1-5799187


At no point in the article does it mention the offernder was riding a *motor*bike. Riding an off-road bike without L Plates or insurance is perfectly legal. Riding an off-road motorbike on the other hand...   ::-)

Some people might accuse me of being pedantic, but this to me is a good example of shite reporting.

That one seems to come from the police, for whom the meaning is presumably obvious from context.  I've seen police forces tweeting about "off-road bikes" without clarifying that they mean motorcycles on several occasions.  They're probably the same people who'd describe pedal cycles as "pushbikes".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 30 November, 2018, 01:42:14 pm
As a non-professional cyclist, I'd assume 'off-road bike' to be the motorised version. If they meant a cycle, they'd say 'mountain bike.' I doubt, for once, that I'm unusual in this assumption.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 November, 2018, 01:48:30 pm
As a non-professional cyclist, I'd assume 'off-road bike' to be the motorised version. If they meant a cycle, they'd say 'mountain bike.' I doubt, for once, that I'm unusual in this assumption.

As a cyclist I'd use "mountain bike" for a pedal bicycle designed for off-road riding (unless I was being particularly technical), and I'd only ever talk about pushbikes in the context of the Birmingham cycling campaign group, but I wouldn't assume a non-cyclist would get the terminology correct.

Similarly, if you say 'scooter' I'd likely think of a skateboard with steering, of the type popular with teenagers of all ages.  But a motorcyclist or police officer might think of a class of motorcycle.

I've also learned to say 'bicycle' rather than 'bike' around QUILTBAG women, lest they apply the wrong set of stereotypes.

It's all about context.  And news headlines are notoriously (and often deliberately) bad at that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 08 December, 2018, 11:29:47 pm
 https://rochdaleherald.co.uk/2017/12/29/dog-shit-bin-rochdale-park-named-nigel-farage-new-years-honours-list/?fbclid=IwAR3C7AvdS0fr5KO1UAWUV_NAQs9dkAu0wVyo10btyN3SxfNcuVeTGLtxDD8     (https://rochdaleherald.co.uk/2017/12/29/dog-shit-bin-rochdale-park-named-nigel-farage-new-years-honours-list/?fbclid=IwAR3C7AvdS0fr5KO1UAWUV_NAQs9dkAu0wVyo10btyN3SxfNcuVeTGLtxDD8)

Giggles...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 December, 2018, 02:33:26 pm
Mum spits in face of Christmas elf in Stockton shopping centre (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-46536214)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 18 December, 2018, 03:45:23 pm
Council struggles with name for new authority...

https://www.mix96.co.uk/news/local/2764051/name-decided-for-bucks-new-council/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 18 December, 2018, 04:52:39 pm
Council struggles with name for new authority...

https://www.mix96.co.uk/news/local/2764051/name-decided-for-bucks-new-council/


Worth a read.

Quote
For example, I am very pleased to see my colleagues in the districts have accepted the name of the council will be Buckinghamshire Council, as opposed to Council McCouncilface.

 :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 19 December, 2018, 08:49:02 am
Bucks can't have Brokenshire, as one comment suggested - that has to be reserved for Northants!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 21 December, 2018, 11:14:04 am
https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/17309084.three-peaks-hikers-urged-to-stop-blasting-out-queens-we-are-the-champions-at-11pm/?fbclid=IwAR3NBTCEgAkJOpFRSMxZnkoQs3kKVIvRELOjGo5POOhpNLP9g2gxoLbinVs

Mr Welch said a section of the village suffered from noise because hikers began celebrating when the pub at the end of the walk was in sight. He said: “They’ll have the ghettoblaster on at 11 o’clock at night playing We Are The Champions and various songs that seem crop up with a 12-hour walk on the peaks.”
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 December, 2018, 11:21:52 am
https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/17309084.three-peaks-hikers-urged-to-stop-blasting-out-queens-we-are-the-champions-at-11pm/?fbclid=IwAR3NBTCEgAkJOpFRSMxZnkoQs3kKVIvRELOjGo5POOhpNLP9g2gxoLbinVs

Mr Welch said a section of the village suffered from noise because hikers began celebrating when the pub at the end of the walk was in sight. He said: “They’ll have the ghettoblaster on at 11 o’clock at night playing We Are The Champions and various songs that seem crop up with a 12-hour walk on the peaks.”

I presume that's "mobile phone" values of "ghettoblaster", something which hasn't been seen in the wild since about 1992.

Seems to me that this would be best dealt with by means of an informal agreement for the pub not to serve people who disturb the residents.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 21 December, 2018, 11:26:19 am
I'd be much more impressed by walkers doing the 3Peaks in 12hours each carrying a proper 80s ghettoblaster.

(I won't insist that they carry enough batteries for 12hours.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 December, 2018, 11:28:00 am
I'd be much more impressed by walkers doing the 3Peaks in 12hours each carrying a proper 80s ghettoblaster.

That should totally be a thing.  The final leg to the pub being completed in mildly sarcastic silence.  Proper leaky D-cells too.  Anyone caught sneaking lithium will be disqualified.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 24 December, 2018, 06:14:57 pm
Pictures of Hull in chaos as last-minute shoppers cause Christmas nightmare (https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/gallery/pictures-hull-chaos-last-minute-2359070)

For the benefit of visually impaired readers, the article contains several photographs of car parks with cars in them, and of BRITONS queueueueing[1].  Truly a Christmas nightmare.



[1] Brits failing to queue properly is surely a sign of the apocalypse...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 24 December, 2018, 06:37:25 pm
'Trolleys left unattended.'

I am not ashamed to say that I cried.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 26 December, 2018, 02:38:17 pm
And elsewhere people are asking if retail is dead!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 27 December, 2018, 11:18:12 pm
Super.  ;D
Our (not very) supermarket was ram raided on Christmas night.  They took 4 bottles of whiskey.
That's it.  4 bottles of whiskey.
Surely you're supposed to empty the stock room of all the large boxes of spirits and fags?
I love this town.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 28 December, 2018, 01:01:31 am
At least they didn’t take any whisky.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 28 December, 2018, 09:18:15 am
 :facepalm: I actually meant whisky.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 28 December, 2018, 09:35:25 am
 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 January, 2019, 09:36:18 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17335110.missing-goldfish-dave-leaves-swindon-owners-stumped/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 05 January, 2019, 12:10:20 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17335110.missing-goldfish-dave-leaves-swindon-owners-stumped/

Fun stuff here, great find roger

Quote
The 36-year-old said she has seen hide nor hair of the pet fish, bought five years ago from Pets at Home.

Typo at the beginning With a ‘not’ missing...

Followed by the suggestion a goldfish has hide hair. Mind you, it is Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 January, 2019, 12:14:51 am
Aliens! </rimmer>
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 05 January, 2019, 12:05:01 pm
<cat> 'I broke my tooth!'
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 January, 2019, 12:13:19 pm
<cat> 'I broke my tooth!'

 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 January, 2019, 09:19:28 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17349491.man-wanted-for-indecent-exposure-on-bus-in-swindon/

Best comment: "Bus wanker!"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 January, 2019, 01:24:46 pm
It's spreading!

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17351982.swindon-police-hunt-man-suspected-of-masturbating-in-brunel-shopping-centre-toilets/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 11 January, 2019, 01:35:19 pm
Aged a bit in the second photo...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 January, 2019, 01:49:33 pm
It doesn't just give you short sight and hairy palms...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 11 January, 2019, 02:43:44 pm
Can you type that a bit bigger...?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 11 January, 2019, 05:25:26 pm
It's spreading!

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17351982.swindon-police-hunt-man-suspected-of-masturbating-in-brunel-shopping-centre-toilets/

Exhibiting an incomplete mastery of his domain, I suppose.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 13 January, 2019, 11:24:13 pm
https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/17355110.two-fighting-for-life-after-shooting-in-sutton-road-southend/

Bollocks. That's a couple of hundred yards away from my place.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rachel t on 14 January, 2019, 09:30:56 pm
Just love my home city

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/hull-woman-turns-purple-cocktail-2423175 (https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/hull-woman-turns-purple-cocktail-2423175)

Originally this article had the comments switched on, but they soon got switched off when the female involved was getting ridiculed.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 14 January, 2019, 10:13:36 pm
Have they seriously tried to pixellate out the house number?!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 January, 2019, 11:05:20 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17358292.doctor-warns-women-not-to-use-lush-aubergine-bath-bomb-as-a-sex-toy/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Paul on 15 January, 2019, 01:10:52 pm
Just love my home city

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/hull-woman-turns-purple-cocktail-2423175 (https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/hull-woman-turns-purple-cocktail-2423175)

Originally this article had the comments switched on, but they soon got switched off when the female involved was getting ridiculed.

I think she's got a point.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 21 January, 2019, 09:13:03 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/digger-driver-smashes-hotel-during-15711322


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/new-footage-shows-shocking-digger-15711996


What happens when you're a bit late paying the builders.....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 21 January, 2019, 09:22:31 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/digger-driver-smashes-hotel-during-15711322


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/new-footage-shows-shocking-digger-15711996


What happens when you're a bit late paying the builders.....

It's a spate: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-46945423
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 22 January, 2019, 10:35:00 pm
Quote
Revellers in Cheltenham reportedly spotted a sickening sight in the town over the weekend, as a severed 'goats head' was left on the pavement outside a popular pub.

One shocked passer-by was walking along Bath Road in Cheltenham, when they witnessed the goat head lying on the pavement.

They said: "It was about 10.30pm Saturday night and the goat head was just on the path outside Wetherspoon, everyone was just acting like normal.

"We did go past Sunday morning but it was gone."

The disgusting image reveals the animal's head on the pavement, but that is not the end of the unusual circumstances surrounding what happened to the rest of the goat.

They added: "My friend also said there was someone in a nun costume who dropped it out of a duffel bag and ran off."

Gloucestershire Live: 'Nun with duffel bag' drops 'severed goat head' on pavement outside Cheltenham pub (https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/cheltenham-news/nun-duffel-bag-drops-severed-2452165?fbclid=IwAR1KYUaMiQMuLDj5nDSuGuIqSd6OqFJW0ItacMS3xf1HWYativ_SnUksj0A)

NB - contains a graphic (allowing for the crappy phone camera) image of the severed head.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 January, 2019, 10:37:26 pm
Satanic ritual, or normal for Weatherspoons?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 22 January, 2019, 10:51:10 pm
Given it's Cheltenham, it could have been a GCHQ team-building exercise. Cryptanalysis probably has a higher than average oddball quotient. :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 22 January, 2019, 11:10:44 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/digger-driver-smashes-hotel-during-15711322 (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/digger-driver-smashes-hotel-during-15711322)


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/new-footage-shows-shocking-digger-15711996 (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/new-footage-shows-shocking-digger-15711996)


What happens when you're a bit late paying the builders.....


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/digger-rampage-driver-tried-mental-15717262       :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 January, 2019, 12:05:15 am
Satanic ritual, or normal for Weatherspoons?
Chilly thought.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 January, 2019, 12:08:41 am
Given it's Cheltenham, it could have been a GCHQ team-building exercise. Cryptanalysis probably has a higher than average oddball quotient. :demon:

Also ritual sacrifice of goats is a proven system administration technique, and I believe they may have a few computers at that GCHQ that they have nowadays.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 23 January, 2019, 12:25:41 am
Given it's Cheltenham, it could have been a GCHQ team-building exercise. Cryptanalysis probably has a higher than average oddball quotient. :demon:

Also ritual sacrifice of goats is a proven system administration technique, and I believe they may have a few computers at that GCHQ that they have nowadays.

<The Laundry Files*> Must be an older operating system if it needs a couple of pints of goat claret.  ;) </The Laundry Files>


* Ref: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Laundry_Files
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 January, 2019, 10:13:43 am
Satanic ritual, or normal for Weatherspoons?

Metaphor for Brexit, I'd say, given Tim "Feck Drink Arse Brexit" Martin's enthusiasm for the wretched thing, which now includes spamming random households with his poxy magazine.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 23 January, 2019, 10:49:35 am
New menu item, I suspect.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 January, 2019, 05:56:10 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17382700.haydon-wick-stone-henge-rediscovered-and-its-partly-thanks-to-pokemon-go-players/

20 years old!  We didn't even have reality TV or Facebook back then.  Just imagine how hard everyday life must have been for the builders.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 January, 2019, 12:37:25 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17387233.shoppers-call-for-boycott-of-ms-over-allah-toilet-paper/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 26 January, 2019, 04:33:31 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17387233.shoppers-call-for-boycott-of-ms-over-allah-toilet-paper/
The Swindon Advertiser is a spoof news site isn’t it?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 January, 2019, 05:00:06 pm
Surprisingly not.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 26 January, 2019, 05:26:31 pm
The better spoof/satirical news sites are usually a little more subtle* than the stories posted here or in the Floridian/weird world news thread, though.  :demon:


* To the point that one or two forumites have been caught out in the past and have shared stories here which they thought were gen. ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 February, 2019, 07:27:30 pm
Blue 'Smurf cats' and dogs after Clacton ink fire (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-47094941)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 February, 2019, 06:55:01 pm
Bemmy Asdals no plastic bag nightmare!
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/asda-superstore-nightmare-runs-completely-2503240
Quote
Fruit and veg manager Craig, said: "It's not just shopping bags, it's all consumables which include veg bags, flour bags, we even get our pizza bases from the same company.

"It's been a nightmare really, and I don't really know why it has happened.

"A lot of people have moved from loose veg to packaged veg," he added, saying the store usually encourage people to buy loose items to save on plastic use.
Lack of plastic bags prevents saving plastics. Hmmm...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on 03 February, 2019, 07:08:14 pm
Quote
"A lot of people have moved from loose veg to packaged veg," he added, saying the store usually encourage people to buy loose items to save on plastic use.
Wouldn't be problem in the Yeovil Asda. Yesterday they had no loose tomatoes and they usually have only one variety of loose apples. All the others are pre-packed.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 06 February, 2019, 02:13:31 pm
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-devon-47144891
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 February, 2019, 09:54:27 pm
There's people driving cars in town. https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/gridlock-eastgate-retail-centre-traps-2526362
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 10 February, 2019, 06:26:49 am
There's people driving cars in town. https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/gridlock-eastgate-retail-centre-traps-2526362

I am not sure that sitting in your car qualifies as driving. Surely it is on road parking?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 February, 2019, 02:13:14 pm
There's people driving cars in town. https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/gridlock-eastgate-retail-centre-traps-2526362

I am not sure that sitting in your car qualifies as driving. Surely it is on road parking?

I think it counts for the purposes of drink-driving or operating a mobile phone.


That photo caption deserves extra BONG-not-news merit:  "There is traffic on the M32 this afternoon".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 February, 2019, 02:23:07 pm
I was torn between posting it here or in BONG, but plumped for here on the grounds of its reporting.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 12 February, 2019, 09:22:22 am
They walk among us...

Quote
'People are trying to steal my weed off me,' 999 caller tells police

A man who rang 999 to report that someone was trying to steal his drugs, has been awarded "call of the week".

Officers from Thames Valley Police in Buckinghamshire said the caller dialled 999, saying: "Hi, people are trying to steal my weed off me."

It "isn't a call that we should be getting to our 101 or 999 phone lines, particularly when reporting the theft of your drugs", officers said.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-47200700 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-47200700)
:facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 12 February, 2019, 12:23:28 pm
They walk among us...

Quote
'People are trying to steal my weed off me,' 999 caller tells police

A man who rang 999 to report that someone was trying to steal his drugs, has been awarded "call of the week".

Officers from Thames Valley Police in Buckinghamshire said the caller dialled 999, saying: "Hi, people are trying to steal my weed off me."

It "isn't a call that we should be getting to our 101 or 999 phone lines, particularly when reporting the theft of your drugs", officers said.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-47200700 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-47200700)
:facepalm:

RFOL  ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 February, 2019, 04:06:19 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17433006.men-appear-in-court-charged-with-throwing-faeces-on-train-in-wiltshire/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 15 February, 2019, 07:44:40 am
Well, Leafy BUcksTM isn't so boring after all   ;D :o

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-rescues-box-abandoned-puppies-13993460
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 15 February, 2019, 09:05:26 am
So, only two puppies in the box.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 15 February, 2019, 09:22:26 am
So, only two puppies in the box.

And a pussy of course.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 15 February, 2019, 10:52:57 am
Your parcel was delivered by the courier at.............
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 February, 2019, 12:48:41 am
Volunteer gets dog poo in hair while clearing community flower beds (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/local-news/volunteers-portishead-bloom-being-covered-2556665)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 21 February, 2019, 01:22:31 pm
I've heard of N+1, but this is ridiculous... :o

Quote
Police seize 101 bicycles from Oldham home

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-47318231 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-47318231)

Joking aside, I'm glad they've caught this bastard, and I hope the recovered lost souls will be reunited with their pet humans.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 24 February, 2019, 04:02:03 pm
Milk theft appears more newsworthy than cycle theft...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-suffolk-47307505/milk-thefts-caught-on-camera-in-ipswich (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-suffolk-47307505/milk-thefts-caught-on-camera-in-ipswich)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 04 March, 2019, 10:30:35 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/couple-had-sex-rooftop-opposite-15920087


My home city. Always classy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 07 March, 2019, 09:59:24 am
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/angry-dad-put-fish-chips-15931890 (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/angry-dad-put-fish-chips-15931890)


Dastardly doggers again. It’s hardly the weather for al fresco amour.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 March, 2019, 10:14:23 am
And from the same source: Man bites dog! (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/man-left-horrific-wounds-after-15933850)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 07 March, 2019, 05:04:56 pm
Kim, you have a challenge...

(https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7922/47310274981_cceeff6d9e_z.jpg)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 07 March, 2019, 05:18:00 pm
Kim, you have a challenge...

(https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7922/47310274981_cceeff6d9e_z.jpg)
WTF?
I'll have to check this out, the next time I'm DFL.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 07 March, 2019, 05:21:48 pm
next time I'm DFL.

Just make sure it's the first Thursday of the month.

I love that they used his Tinder profile pic to illustrate the story.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 March, 2019, 06:11:42 pm
Kim, you have a challenge...

(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/random/2019_03_07_18_08_02.sized.jpg)

 :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 March, 2019, 06:13:21 pm
Hang on, a 400m Ethernet cable?  I call cheating!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 March, 2019, 06:34:01 pm
Kim, you have a challenge...

(https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7922/47310274981_cceeff6d9e_z.jpg)
WTF?
I'll have to check this out, the next time I'm DFL.
Dating for love?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 07 March, 2019, 06:34:54 pm
next time I'm DFL.

Just make sure it's the first Thursday of the month.

I love that they used his Tinder profile pic to illustrate the story.
TBF, I don't think I fit the profile for your average / random DFL.
Not when most of my time in Wizzybell is spent doing DIY and house mods for m'Julie (https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4404/36676661541_62cd991a51_o.jpg)
Or walking her dog on the beach.
Or doing car-park duty in the charity car park at the Junior School.
I've never been in The Old Neptune or had oysters.

But I'll tell you what.
I can spot 'em! (DFLs)  ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 07 March, 2019, 06:35:41 pm
Kim, you have a challenge...

(https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7922/47310274981_cceeff6d9e_z.jpg)
WTF?
I'll have to check this out, the next time I'm DFL.
Dating for love?
Down from London.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 07 March, 2019, 07:21:05 pm
I'd love to think that someone has more ethernet cables than Kim and I, but I feel a tint of Southend News Network here?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 March, 2019, 08:03:09 pm
Whitstable World of Wisdom.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 07 March, 2019, 08:06:56 pm
I'd love to think that someone has more ethernet cables than Kim and I, but I feel a tint of Southend News Network here?

Hmmm. My sister posted the cutting on facebook and she's normally a reliable source so it didn't even occur to me that it might be questionable. But now you mention it...

I shall make enquiries.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 March, 2019, 09:02:10 pm
I'd love to think that someone has more ethernet cables than Kim and I, but I feel a tint of Southend News Network here?

Hmmm. My sister posted the cutting on facebook and she's normally a reliable source so it didn't even occur to me that it might be questionable. But now you mention it...

Strikes me as deeply suspicious that someone who collects Ethernet cables doesn't have a decent website (that I can find, anyway)...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 08 March, 2019, 11:19:42 pm
Makeover @ Cerne Abbas.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-47493907 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-47493907)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on 09 March, 2019, 09:19:55 am
Trans publicity?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 09 March, 2019, 09:24:13 am
There was a young man from Leeds
Who swallowed a packet of seeds
In half an hour
His bum was a flower
And his willy was covered in weeds
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 09 March, 2019, 09:31:04 am
Trans publicity?
Said to be temporary - soon to be deflowered?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 09 March, 2019, 02:13:48 pm
Shoplifter steals one bottle of gin.
https://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/17488919.man-admits-theft-of-gin-from-cardigan-supermarket/?ref=mr&lp=1 (https://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/17488919.man-admits-theft-of-gin-from-cardigan-supermarket/?ref=mr&lp=1)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 09 March, 2019, 03:59:02 pm
I'll bet he's for the high jump(er)

IGMC
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orraloon on 13 March, 2019, 05:59:10 pm
£85 victim surcharge?   A seagull?  And a curfew?  Must mind my chips.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-47557456


[Edit.  Yes I know how the victim surcharge scheme works.  Just have this image of a pack of his seagull pals enjoying a splurge on £85 worth of chips and assorted deep fried things   :)]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 18 March, 2019, 10:03:00 am
Quote
Thief steals Devon seaside resort dog poo bin

Police have been mulling the possible reasons for why someone would steal a dog poo bin from a seaside resort.

It was unscrewed from its mounting and taken at Fisherman's Cove in East Portlemouth, Devon sometime between Tuesday or Wednesday.

"Over the years I've investigated many crimes," said a police spokesman. "Some interesting, some not so. This one is up there on the [interesting] list."

Officers are looking for leads to locate the bin, "but not its contents".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-47604022 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-47604022)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 21 March, 2019, 05:48:37 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/brave-woman-scares-armed-robber-16008509 (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/brave-woman-scares-armed-robber-16008509)


Always carry a flamethrower, just in case...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 22 March, 2019, 08:43:38 am
Rush hour ostrich!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-47659232 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-47659232)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 22 March, 2019, 11:00:32 am
Rush hour ostrich!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-47659232 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-47659232)

One of the stories my father used to tell us as kids was the time he was partly responsible for an ostrich getting run over on Liverpools dock road.

Just after WW2 - most of the zoo populations had died during the war so there was a thriving trade for smuggling exotic animals on merchant ships returning from foreign parts
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 March, 2019, 05:39:05 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17530577.one-of-a-kind-mcdonalds-in-greenbridge-retail-park-swindon-opens-to-the-public/

Van parks at McDonalds.  Film at 11.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Formerly Known As on 27 March, 2019, 07:21:36 pm
A story in our local chipwrapper today.  An ice cream man shouted at a kiddie and made him cry.  I kid ye not.

But fear not! When a rival ice cream firm heard of the little boys tears via Facebook, they dispatched one of their own ice cream vans to deliver an ice cream to the young fellow, and the balance of ying and yang is now restored.

Yep, its life and death stuff here in the Home Counties.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 30 March, 2019, 07:12:03 pm
I must keep buying the lottery tickets.  :(


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/property/inside-amazing-1million-home-hidden-16047843


https://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-61159074.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 April, 2019, 12:35:35 am
"I think it's just people wanting more and more cars." (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-47786598)

Bonus points for the crudely drawn wheelchair icon, there.  Must have been the cycle lane guys moonlighting.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 April, 2019, 10:21:48 am
Man unlocks car in supermarket car park.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/went-check-lidl-actually-stopped-2713850
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 April, 2019, 12:46:37 pm
Man unlocks car in supermarket car park.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/went-check-lidl-actually-stopped-2713850

I once molished Postman Piers a radio device to relay the blinks of the blinkenlight on his electricity meter to the parallel port of a convenient computer, for MRTG porpoises.  Unfortunately the electricity meter was in the garage, and the regular 433MHz pulses had a similar effect on the remote keyfob system of Snap, his kevved-up Nova.  As part of the kevving-up process involved the removal of the external key slots for the door locks, this counted as Hilarious Consequences (though, due to the provision of a SEEKRIT electrical keyswitch in a wheel arch for operating the central locking, not as much as that time he left the lights on in a multi-storey car park).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 April, 2019, 03:10:39 pm
Couldn't he have climbed in and out of the windows, Dukes of Hazard style? Or is that not Kev anymore?  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 April, 2019, 03:14:27 pm
Good thinking, though I suspect it would have risked damaging the paintwork.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Flathead on 04 April, 2019, 08:57:07 am
I once molished Postman Piers a radio device to relay the blinks of the blinkenlight on his electricity meter to the parallel port of a convenient computer, for MRTG porpoises.  Unfortunately the electricity meter was in the garage, and the regular 433MHz pulses had a similar effect on the remote keyfob system of Snap, his kevved-up Nova.  As part of the kevving-up process involved the removal of the external key slots for the door locks, this counted as Hilarious Consequences (though, due to the provision of a SEEKRIT electrical keyswitch in a wheel arch for operating the central locking, not as much as that time he left the lights on in a multi-storey car park).

Sorry. No idea what any of that means.  ??? :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 04 April, 2019, 10:55:57 am

Sorry. No idea what any of that means.  ??? :)

Kim often forgets that most of us are mere mortals.  ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 04 April, 2019, 11:49:54 am
I once molished Postman Piers a radio device to relay the blinks of the blinkenlight on his electricity meter to the parallel port of a convenient computer, for MRTG porpoises.  Unfortunately the electricity meter was in the garage, and the regular 433MHz pulses had a similar effect on the remote keyfob system of Snap, his kevved-up Nova.  As part of the kevving-up process involved the removal of the external key slots for the door locks, this counted as Hilarious Consequences (though, due to the provision of a SEEKRIT electrical keyswitch in a wheel arch for operating the central locking, not as much as that time he left the lights on in a multi-storey car park).

Sorry. No idea what any of that means.  ??? :)

To allow monitoring of mains voltage/consumption(?), Kim made a transmit/receive device so as to link the mains at the meter with a 'puter to read the signals.

433MHz is the same frequency as most aftermarket car alarms. Hilarious quincequonces would include but not be exclusively limited to - regular locking/unlocking of the car, random alarm activations, lots of flashing lights and - well -  use your imagination...

HTH
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 April, 2019, 02:54:44 pm
Nahh, it just jammed the signal so he couldn't get into his car without first climbing over it to nobble the transmitter unit.  The keyfob system was cryptographic, like modern ones, and wouldn't unlock in response to any old signal.  But the electricity meter (and transmitting device) was on the wall halfway down the garage, much closer to the car's receiver than the doorway where you'd operate the keyfob from.


The effect of a flat battery on a car with purely electric door locks left as an exercise for the reader.  (I think the AA bod eventually managed to open the bonnet from below using car thief skillz, and an inconvenient Anderson connector was later added to facilitate jump-starting the central locking in future.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 April, 2019, 12:32:53 pm
https://www.devonlive.com/news/man-caught-dealing-drugs-inside-2722126
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 April, 2019, 04:32:56 pm
The effect of a flat battery on a car with purely electric door locks left as an exercise for the reader.  (I think the AA bod eventually managed to open the bonnet from below using car thief skillz, and an inconvenient Anderson connector was later added to facilitate jump-starting the central locking in future.)
Gerry Anderson?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Moleman76 on 07 April, 2019, 12:50:56 am
In the frequency department, about 25+/- years ago the US Navy built a new place to park big grey boats in the nearby city where we used to live.

There were reports of residents' garage doors opening and closing on their own, not at the owners' command via remote sender, whenever certain vessels came in to port.  It was said that there were certain communications-related frequencies used in the ships' systems which told the garage doors to open. Apparently the boat operators started switching those systems off when nearing port, and the problem went away.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 07 April, 2019, 04:53:57 pm
And exploding cows due to submarine comms.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 April, 2019, 05:56:21 pm
"So many fucking hills".
https://twitter.com/DawnHFoster/status/1114263982561538048
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/guardian-journalist-dawn-foster-says-2734154
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 April, 2019, 06:12:55 pm
That's a legitimate complaint about Bristol, I suppose, but it hardly seems fair to put it down there with Birmingham.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 April, 2019, 06:16:46 pm
Where presumably the problem is "so many fucking canals."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 April, 2019, 06:19:07 pm
We've got more miles of fucking canals than fucking Venice!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 08 April, 2019, 11:09:50 pm
Where presumably the problem is "so many fucking canals."
You are Basil otp and icmfp  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ham on 09 April, 2019, 07:41:04 am
All a bit crap really https://www.ilfordrecorder.co.uk/news/health/redbridge-and-the-runs-lower-amounts-of-diarrhoea-compared-to-england-1-5985000
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 09 April, 2019, 07:48:04 am
Publish rubbish!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-47853538
or: Litter found in litter-pick.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 09 April, 2019, 12:42:14 pm
I'm not sure "Dubai" still counts as a province, but I had nowhere else to put this headline. Does it make any sense to anyone??

Daughter of Facebook 'horse' insult woman arrested in Dubai makes plea

Actually, I don't want to know ...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 April, 2019, 04:17:43 pm
I'm not sure "Dubai" still counts as a province, but I had nowhere else to put this headline. Does it make any sense to anyone??

Daughter of Facebook 'horse' insult woman arrested in Dubai makes plea

Actually, I don't want to know ...
You want the "Little Eye On The Emirates" thread, Matt. HTH and FYI  ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 09 April, 2019, 07:17:00 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17561901.newcomer-geese-chase-children-and-bite-people-in-upavon/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 09 April, 2019, 08:43:22 pm
I have never been bitten in the upavon
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 09 April, 2019, 08:56:40 pm
Ah.... but you have to have a ding dong first.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 10 April, 2019, 07:10:15 pm
https://www.itv.com/news/westcountry/2019-04-10/collapsed-fox-in-exeter-bush-turns-out-to-be-taxidermy/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 11 April, 2019, 02:21:15 pm
Yet another reason to visit Birmingham. The worlds biggest Primark.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-47867785 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-47867785)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 12 April, 2019, 09:49:01 am
A biscuit birthday treat.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/hengrove-man-left-shocked-absolute-2742379
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 18 April, 2019, 09:39:06 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/police-called-after-woman-tries-16152341


A threatening pole ?  Bloody forriners.......
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 April, 2019, 06:28:43 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17586364.review-we-eat-at-all-of-swindons-zero-rated-takeaways-that-are-still-open/

Quality local journalism - eating in all the food hygiene no-star Johnny takeaways in town.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 April, 2019, 08:21:51 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17579831.beware-the-wiltshire-beauty-spots-used-for-dogging/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 22 April, 2019, 01:24:13 pm
Exact same topics in Cambridge Evening news week or two back. The silly season?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 22 April, 2019, 09:08:11 pm
Imagine my surprise when I find that those two newspapers are not owned by Trinity Mirror.  They took a couple of fairly decent local papers, The Liverpool Echo & Daily Post and closed one town & turned the other into a football, crime & sleb crapfest.  >:(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 April, 2019, 02:59:33 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17593652.man-22-charged-with-possession-of-snake-pornography/

Yate (say "Yah-tay" for comic effect), not Swindon
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 April, 2019, 01:35:52 pm
The Y is for "Yate".  The kind of town that referees come from.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 25 April, 2019, 02:00:27 pm
One assumes that's not snakes doing what snakes naturally do. People are strange.

I liked the headline below: Beware the Wiltshire beauty spots used for dogging.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 27 April, 2019, 04:04:21 pm
Badgers close road (until at least July)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-48077302
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 April, 2019, 04:45:44 pm
Badgers close road (until at least July)

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-48077302
We used that road a fair bit.  Messes up our 50 mile route!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Edd on 28 April, 2019, 11:00:16 am
Quote
Environmental laws mean officials have to wait three months before work can start to allow the badgers to vacate the area.

Why do I get the image of an environmental officer handing the badges an eviction notice.
"sorry mate, this is council property and you can't stay here. You have three months to leave, if you need housing support contact your social housing officer at the council with your reference number"

Do badgers normally vacate their sets in July? Or is it a cub thing?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 29 April, 2019, 08:34:54 pm
Celebratory Open Top Bus Parade Welsh style.
https://www.walesonline.co.uk/sport/rugby/rugby-news/andy-powells-tractor-trailer-victory-16198825.amp?__twitter_impression=true
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 14 May, 2019, 07:46:55 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/money/2019/apr/19/lets-move-ely-cambridgeshire (https://www.theguardian.com/money/2019/apr/19/lets-move-ely-cambridgeshire)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: caerau on 17 May, 2019, 10:55:43 am
Nottingham folk are so angry about plastic bags at boots that they drove to the shop to complain  ::-)


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-48213813#comp-comments-button (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-48213813#comp-comments-button)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 20 May, 2019, 06:33:00 pm
just how stupid can you get?  Mouse cremation goes bad

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-48341171 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-48341171)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 May, 2019, 08:24:52 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17650666.haydon-wick-naked-rampage-man-avoids-jail/?ref=ar
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 20 May, 2019, 08:39:29 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17650666.haydon-wick-naked-rampage-man-avoids-jail/?ref=ar

I'm wondering if the first English people in Florida came from the Swindon area. It would explain a lot. :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 May, 2019, 09:12:10 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17654824.swindon-mum-finds-sausage-meat-face-in-91p-packet-of-aldi-bangers/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 June, 2019, 01:13:04 am
https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/17700177.tree-falls-down-in-town/?ref=mr&lp=8
Quote
Tree falls down in town

A TREE fell down in Stonehouse in the early hours of yesterday morning.

It came down in Park Road.

Stroud District Council are on site this morning, making the area safe, and a tree surgeon will cut the tree up and take it away today.
That is literally the whole entire complete and total story.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 13 June, 2019, 12:17:42 pm
https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/17700177.tree-falls-down-in-town/?ref=mr&lp=8
Quote
Tree falls down in town

A TREE fell down in Stonehouse in the early hours of yesterday morning.

It came down in Park Road.

Stroud District Council are on site this morning, making the area safe, and a tree surgeon will cut the tree up and take it away today.
That is literally the whole entire complete and total story.

Shoddy journalism.  No mention of whether or not it made a sound.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 13 June, 2019, 01:13:47 pm
https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/17700177.tree-falls-down-in-town/?ref=mr&lp=8
Quote
Tree falls down in town

A TREE fell down in Stonehouse in the early hours of yesterday morning.

It came down in Park Road.

Stroud District Council are on site this morning, making the area safe, and a tree surgeon will cut the tree up and take it away today.
That is literally the whole entire complete and total story.

Shoddy journalism.  No mention of whether or not it made a sound.

They have also forgotten the obligatory several paragraphs on how motorists had their day or entire lives ruined.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 15 June, 2019, 02:56:29 pm
Flyer arrives in letter box concerning a christian music fest type gathering soon to be held in Peterborough. Highlighted are music, singing, prayers, and............Miracles!....... Is it me?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 June, 2019, 01:57:21 pm
Quest sighted in Ipswich, local press fail to identify it:

https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/ipswich-suffolk-yellow-banana-shaped-vehicle-1-6129595
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 June, 2019, 02:04:33 pm
Quote
Writing on the side seems to suggest it is a velomobile, a mixture between a bike and a car which is human-powered.
Seems a fair assessment. (?)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 June, 2019, 02:11:14 pm
A work of moments to find your way to http://en.velomobiel.nl/questxs/ at which point you could surely come up with something more informative than "a mixture between a bike and a car" for the basis of a newspaper article clickbait purporting to explain what it is.  Especially one that appears to have been written more than once...

The comments are surprisingly telling on this one:

Quote
Slow news day. Always gets a mention every time it's out.

Quote
How many more times

Quote
This may have only just reached the journo's desk in Norwich who thought "wow, how fascinating", however, anyone from Ipswich has known about it for years. Find some local journo's please.

Quote
Are you serious? Again???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 June, 2019, 02:15:08 pm
I didn't say it was good journalism, just a seemingly good assessment of what a velomobile might be! Though I'm not sure whether detailed information is really what a story like that wants.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 June, 2019, 02:21:44 pm
I didn't say it was good journalism, just a seemingly good assessment of what a velomobile might be! Though I'm not sure whether detailed information is really what a story like that wants.

True enough.  The article's done its job by the time you've clicked on it.

While explaining what a velomobile is might take time and effort, you'd think that velomobile.nl would be happy to share one of the diagrams of the internals from their website in exchange for a link, which would go a long way to satisfying readers idle curiosity...

(http://en.velomobiel.nl/questxs/img/questXS_aandrijwing.png) (http://en.velomobiel.nl/questxs/)

Personally I'd go for "A tricycle that's fast and shelters the rider from the elements", rather than bringing cars into it, but it's probably fair to say that I know a lot more about velomobiles than the Ipswich Star.


Anyway, that someone parking a Quest in Ipswich makes the local paper just goes to prove that recumbents are invisible.   ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 June, 2019, 02:57:32 pm
There are so many ways they could have gone with that. "Although it looks like a car, it doesn't have to pay to park," said someone from the Town Council Roads Dept (cue angry letters). "No one was available at the Driver Licensing Agency to confirm that the rider/driver does not confirm a licence." "Suffolk Police were unable to state whether the banana-like vehicle had been caught in any speed traps." And of course"If you have any information about the curious bike-car contraption, contact our newsdesk."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 June, 2019, 03:01:42 pm
Let's not forget the ever-popular road tax angle...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 27 June, 2019, 03:20:47 pm
As it happened in Ipswich: "Members of the public were baffled by a strange vehicle. 'It wasn't a car' said one 'and it weren't no bloody traaaactor. Them's the only vehicles I know, so what the hell was it?'"

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 June, 2019, 03:51:34 pm
I think that's getting dangerously close to discovering the real reason someone in Ipswich would ride drive travel by velomobile: so they can wear sandals without anyone getting to count their toes.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 June, 2019, 03:52:15 pm
I think that's getting dangerously close to discovering the real reason someone in Ipswich would ride drive travel by velomobile: so they can wear sandals without anyone getting to count their toes.  :facepalm:

POTD!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 28 June, 2019, 05:18:16 pm
I think that's getting dangerously close to discovering the real reason someone in Ipswich would ride drive travel by velomobile: so they can wear sandals without anyone getting to count their toes.  :facepalm:

Or count their fingers and/or check them for webbing?  :demon: ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 28 June, 2019, 05:23:34 pm
The local ‘news’ paper living up,to,its reputation of not actually reporting any actual news. That velo has been around Ipswich for simply ages, hell i saw it a number of times in the wild LAST summer.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 July, 2019, 04:22:12 pm
Quote
Shoppers visiting the Bedminster store on Saturday (June 29) were left intrigued by a sign informing them a drone was being flown above their heads and over the car park.

It was the hottest day of the year so far and the Bedminster store also ran out of Thatcher’s cider by mid afternoon.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/asda-uk-sale-bedminster-drones-3045625
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 02 July, 2019, 08:30:08 pm
Mouse seen in Disney themed cafe.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 20 July, 2019, 11:48:58 am
“When the gusts passed, a tree ripped up and fell over into a field of llamas.”

Guess where (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-49056393)...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 July, 2019, 08:58:58 pm
“When the gusts passed, a tree ripped up and fell over into a field of llamas.”

Guess where (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-49056393)...

Llamageddon?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on 21 July, 2019, 08:42:12 am
Llareggub? Llamedos?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vernon on 21 July, 2019, 08:50:09 am
Farmer Palmer's Llamarama?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 July, 2019, 07:21:22 pm
Alpacalypse?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 July, 2019, 05:39:04 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17800493.three-year-driving-ban-swindon-mobility-scooter-drink-driver/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 06 August, 2019, 05:06:14 pm
Floods of nowhere near biblical proportions hit Horsham:

https://www.crawleyobserver.co.uk/news/traffic-and-travel/horsham-road-flooded-after-tree-roots-block-drains-1-9024118 (https://www.crawleyobserver.co.uk/news/traffic-and-travel/horsham-road-flooded-after-tree-roots-block-drains-1-9024118)

Quote
Flood levels are currently rising with the water now overflowing onto the pavement.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 14 August, 2019, 10:04:21 pm
I wonder if SJS are selling more bikes?
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/14/hinkley-negative-life-site-shadow-bridgwater?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/14/hinkley-negative-life-site-shadow-bridgwater?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 15 August, 2019, 09:50:47 am
Interesting how modern flatted estates look like  Russian flatted estates but with more colours. Many a town and village had this experience when the railways and canals were being constructed, so nothing new there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 17 August, 2019, 08:47:34 am
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/16/seasides-town-new-toilets-feature-high-tech-anti-sex-measures?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/16/seasides-town-new-toilets-feature-high-tech-anti-sex-measures?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other)


I once used a public loo in Somerset(?) that played classical music at occupants. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 18 August, 2019, 09:07:46 am
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/16/seasides-town-new-toilets-feature-high-tech-anti-sex-measures?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/aug/16/seasides-town-new-toilets-feature-high-tech-anti-sex-measures?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other)


I once used a public loo in Somerset(?) that played classical music at occupants. 
I'd love that - and wait until the movement ends!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 18 August, 2019, 03:46:40 pm
Any fule kno that classical music played to fill interstices seldom progresses to a movement's completion...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 August, 2019, 10:31:45 pm
We met the Bristol 'Flat Earther' concerned his views could put him in danger (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/inside-secretive-bristol-group-who-3115925)
In danger of what? Falling off the edge of the Earth? No!
Quote
The Flat Earther we spoke to keeps his identity a secret because he says society is 'programmed' to ridicule him
Better iron that tin foil!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 19 August, 2019, 10:40:48 pm
We met the Bristol 'Flat Earther' concerned his views could put him in danger (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/inside-secretive-bristol-group-who-3115925)
In danger of what? Falling off the edge of the Earth? No!
Quote
The Flat Earther we spoke to keeps his identity a secret because he says society is 'programmed' to ridicule him
Better iron that tin foil!

"Programmed" - that's a funny way to pronounce "educated that the earth is, based on current observations, an oblate spheroid".

Besides, if the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.  :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 19 August, 2019, 10:45:23 pm
We met the Bristol 'Flat Earther' concerned his views could put him in danger (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/inside-secretive-bristol-group-who-3115925)
In danger of what? Falling off the edge of the Earth? No!
Quote
The Flat Earther we spoke to keeps his identity a secret because he says society is 'programmed' to ridicule him
Better iron that tin foil!

This sounds like Brexiteers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 19 August, 2019, 11:55:04 pm
I don't know how anyone from Bristol can think the earth is flat...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 23 August, 2019, 06:19:06 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/property/mansion-underground-cinema-wine-cellar-16805281


£20 thou a month!  Visiting sportsballers only I think.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 23 August, 2019, 08:59:06 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/money/2019/aug/23/lets-move-to-west-kirby-merseyside-way-things-used-to-be?CMP=share_btn_wa


Oh I say, West Kirby has made the Grauniad.   Nice enough place with a few decent cafes.  I go there sometimes & ride the old railway line which is now a cycle way down to Chester, or vice versa. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 24 August, 2019, 11:21:07 am
I used to crew on our Doctors sailing dinghy on the marine lake there. Is the cycle way the Wirral way? Haven't tried it for about 8 or so years but the connection through Parkgate to link up with the Dee embankment and onto Chester used to be very bitty.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 24 August, 2019, 11:34:10 am
Yes,  the Wirral Way  It's not continuous all the way to Chester.  You can go from West Kirby to Neston, then a bit of roadwork to pick up the route across Burton Marshes which dumps you in an unlovely industrial estate.  From there you can pick up the Millennium Greenway which leads to the Chester canal basin.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 24 August, 2019, 03:59:27 pm
I got completely lost in the unlovely (and seemingly abandoned) industrial estate. I couldn't find the Millenium Greenway, either. I rode th Chester along a parallel route on a former railway.

I enjoyed the trip, thobut.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 25 August, 2019, 11:20:46 am
The old railway path is the Millenium greenway. The alternate route to Chester is to turn south to Hawarden Bridge and then follow the path alongside the river Dee into Chester. It's a good tarmac surface all the way. When it delivers you into a park you can either follow the canal up towards the city centre or thread your way passed the racecourse and follow the river to the groves where there are cafes, ice cream vans and toilets and you're about 1/4 mile from the city centre and about 1/2 mile from the station.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 26 August, 2019, 08:46:17 pm
I got a train to Chester this morning & rode up to West Kirby.    This time I didn't get lost after I crossed the Welsh Road bridge by what used to be RAF Sealand (I remember passing this regularly as a child on frequent family trips to North Wales. The gate guard at the main gate until 1988 was Spitfire TD248. It was restored to flying condition in the 1990s.[4] Restored Spitfire TD248 in flight on YouTube.)   
 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QF5jM45Gc1g

They must have upgraded the signage & once in the industrial estate you are directed off the road onto shared use pavement which takes you to the path over the marshes.  Vey busy with cyclists , the cafe was doing plenty of business. https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g2135808-d5930786-Reviews-Net_s_Coffee_Shop-Neston_Cheshire_England.html (https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Restaurant_Review-g2135808-d5930786-Reviews-Net_s_Coffee_Shop-Neston_Cheshire_England.html) 


I got up to West Kirby & rather than continue round the top got a train home.  Stuff to do , which still hasn't been done  :-[


https://twitter.com/andrewxclark/status/1165933285857529859?s=20 (https://twitter.com/andrewxclark/status/1165933285857529859?s=20)


https://twitter.com/andrewxclark/status/1165928335236636673?s=20 (https://twitter.com/andrewxclark/status/1165928335236636673?s=20)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 26 August, 2019, 08:51:26 pm
Hows about a week end up there sometime?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 26 August, 2019, 09:27:05 pm
Errrrrr..........    I did promise to look at organising a camping weekend sometime, but events have gotten the better of me.  Today was the first time I've done anything other than commute since the weekend at Clapham :-(      There are a few campsites near Chester, but mostly fairly basic.  There _is_ a full spec C&CC club site at Delamere.


I have thought of doing this as a forum ride, even as a night ride.   From Chester station to the ferry at Seacombe is about 51Km,  a fairly easy day ride, mostly on traffic free paths .  From Seacombe get the ferry across the Mersey to Liverpool & it's a short ride back to Lime St for people to get a train home, or back to Chester to pick up cars. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 August, 2019, 11:42:21 pm
There _is_ a full spec C&CC club site at Delamere.

The ALC went there last autumn.  Factoids learned:

1) Delamere has its own station (with tearoom), just round the corner from the campsite.  The line was bustituted all weekend :(
b) The site doesn't have a rec room or other warm space for winter campers to huddle away from the mud[1] and soak up electrons.
III)  It's a fairly long way from anything else, unless you're interested in Going Ape.  There's a local shop a bike ride's distance away.

On that basis, I'd say it was very much a summer destination.


[1] This was one of the few times I've had to excavate SPD cleats with a twig before they'd engage with a pedal, and possibly the only one that didn't involve the NCN.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 02 September, 2019, 08:45:01 am
This makes Audaxers look normal

Quote
A village cricket club from Bedfordshire has broken a world record by playing non-stop for seven days.

Twenty-four players at Blunham Cricket Club contended with soaring temperatures and torrential rain, but beat the previous record on Saturday.

Club captain George Hutson said during the endurance test the players were mentally and physically "shot"...

...The team announced in a tweet it had completed 168 hours of continuous play and said it would be a "lasting memory for so many people".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-49523860 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-49523860)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 01 October, 2019, 06:37:49 pm
It's not all happy camping in Watlington  :jurek:


https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/01/posh-turf-war-teens-spared-jail-wouldnt-cope-prison-10836932/?ito=social&fbclid=IwAR2tctAsoUi_6aeJeYZFnWB_7jBLGf4BJrBe_Dj6ycETgJij7qTCcNnf65Q
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 October, 2019, 07:51:17 pm
I look forward to at least two of them becoming cabinet ministers...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 October, 2019, 07:55:29 pm
2nd from right bears an uncomfortable resemblance to a younger Cameron.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 October, 2019, 11:09:53 am
Teenager has senior moment. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/lost-car-tokyo-world-corsa-3374313)
The best bit being:
Quote
the rear of the vehicle has an upside-down ‘o’.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 October, 2019, 09:48:44 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17946615.swindon-youths-face-judge-bike-seat-gbh-charge/

That's hard to Swallow.

A successful overnight B17 raid.

They're now on a Charge.

It was a severe Fizikal assault.


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 04 October, 2019, 11:31:53 am
I think they will find the bench 'well hard'.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: essexian on 04 October, 2019, 05:36:30 pm
Unpleasant way to die:

https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/local-news/paramedics-were-unable-save-life-3387675?fbclid=IwAR1ygWKMSvL6iFC1InbzK4dtZrovsRfeUAEcwwdxiJoe61yMl44eATA2EFo

Interesting to us perhaps as the accident happened on, or very close to the Isobella Trail: the NCN55 heading out of Stafford.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 October, 2019, 01:19:22 pm
(https://i2-prod.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/article3420002.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/0_86ba7a73-d12a-4a9e-98b5-3fb548dba6bf.jpg)
The best bit being his pixellated t-shirt.
Quote
He wore a t-shirt bearing the words “f*** Boris”, the letters formed by naked depictions of the Prime Minister, when he and his mum Debbie spoke to Bristol Live about his messages.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/council-sends-boy-paint-use-3419806
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 October, 2019, 01:20:59 pm
Quote
Mum pulls kid out of school because he was given tuna after long poo
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/mum-pulls-kid-out-school-3413403
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 October, 2019, 12:59:35 pm
I'll put this excellent headline here, because Slough doesn't deserve its own thread like Didcot or Swindon:

O2 launches 5G network in five UK cities and Slough (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-50068422)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 17 October, 2019, 03:42:58 pm
I'll put this excellent headline here, because Slough doesn't deserve its own thread like Didcot or Swindon:

O2 launches 5G network in five UK cities and Slough (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-50068422)
5G - also ideal for smart bombs. From non-city to nonentity - someone would be dancing in his grave!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 17 October, 2019, 04:10:57 pm
But Slough does have an admirable Limerick.

Quote
There was a young lady from Slough
Who one day developed a cough
She wasn't to know
it would last until now
I hope the young lady pulls through!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 17 October, 2019, 07:58:35 pm
I'll put this excellent headline here, because Slough doesn't deserve its own thread like Didcot or Swindon:

O2 launches 5G network in five UK cities and Slough (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-50068422)
5G - also ideal for smart bombs. From non-city to nonentity - someone would be dancing in his grave!

Smart bombs or friendly bombs??
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 18 October, 2019, 09:04:35 am
I'll put this excellent headline here, because Slough doesn't deserve its own thread like Didcot or Swindon:

O2 launches 5G network in five UK cities and Slough (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-50068422)
5G - also ideal for smart bombs. From non-city to nonentity - someone would be dancing in his grave!

Smart bombs or friendly bombs??
Friendly as in the Usanian meaning?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 18 October, 2019, 09:11:37 am
O2 headquarters are in Slough, which is one of the main reasons I didn’t take the offered job with them in 2002
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 18 October, 2019, 09:41:33 am
I went for an interview there once.

I still shiver thinking about it. Didn’t take the job.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 18 October, 2019, 10:08:07 am
I don’t recall ever going to the Slough offices, even when it was a BT building, though I do know it’s a bugger to get to from the far Angles of the east.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 18 October, 2019, 01:51:32 pm
I spent an afternoon in A&E in Slough with a bipolar client who had a suspected broken arm. Fortunately the everchanging cabaret of lowlifes, chancers, hooligans and nutters was a distraction.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 October, 2019, 03:19:36 pm
Maybe it should change its name, like Staines-on-Thames did.  Although that was just a feeble attempt to avoid the switchboard people at a major laptop repair centre answering the phone, "Hello, Siemens Staines".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on 18 October, 2019, 04:21:37 pm
Slough-off-Thames  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 October, 2019, 04:30:15 pm
Slough-of-Despond.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 October, 2019, 06:45:30 pm
The provinces hit the nationals.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/oct/18/its-party-central-the-bristol-residents-fed-up-with-noisy-student-neighbours
The Hampton Road area, shown in the third photo, has always been student central.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 October, 2019, 06:53:42 pm
The provinces hit the nationals.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2019/oct/18/its-party-central-the-bristol-residents-fed-up-with-noisy-student-neighbours
The Hampton Road area, shown in the third photo, has always been student central.

That's a contender for the Not News thread.

Deliberately obnoxious behaviour like shouting and vandalism (rather than incidental noise) wasn't a new thing when I was a PSO.  Hard to tell if it's increasing in popularity, but it was always a minority (generally the ones who live elsewhere) causing it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 October, 2019, 07:36:17 pm
Student numbers have increased a lot and are still increasing, so inevitably there are more noisy students even if they're the same proportion.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 October, 2019, 08:47:01 pm
That's true.  With proportionally fewer living in university halls.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 October, 2019, 11:51:19 am
That the Bristle Post has an article with the headline "The 29 phrases which will only make sense if you're a Bristolian" isn't in itself interesting, but it's perhaps curious they've chosen to file it under "Education".  :-\
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 October, 2019, 01:34:01 pm
That the Bristle Post has an article with the headline "The 29 phrases which will only make sense if you're a Bristolian" isn't in itself interesting, but it's perhaps curious they've chosen to file it under "Education".  :-\

Presumably because whoever wrote it wasn't Bristolian.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 October, 2019, 10:07:24 am
Not as sexy as Carlisle. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/no-sex-please-were-bristolians-3453590)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 23 October, 2019, 05:43:19 pm
Not as sexy as Carlisle. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/no-sex-please-were-bristolians-3453590)


Is that why Donald Stott went on a bus trip to Carlisle?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 24 October, 2019, 08:35:25 am
Daleks spotted on Bristol's Clifton Suspension Bridge 'closed for inspection'

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-50152072 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-50152072)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 25 October, 2019, 05:47:18 pm
There is quite a lot to unpack from this headline... :D

Angus man who tried to fly drone into Perth Prison claimed Romanian circus stole his chihuahua (https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/perth-kinross/1007095/angus-man-who-tried-to-fly-drone-into-perth-prison-claimed-romanian-circus-stole-his-chihuahua/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 26 October, 2019, 08:38:06 am
 Witch doctor costume stolen from customer in Stroud Greggs (https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/17993219.witch-doctor-costume-stolen-customer-stroud-greggs/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 October, 2019, 02:12:15 pm
This one's worth it for the novel definition of voltage, which, when used to divide a number of 1-bar electric fires, allows us to derive the ampere:  An important step towards completing the set of journalistic equivalents of the SI base units.

https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/significant-cannabis-farms-discovered-2m-3463968
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 October, 2019, 02:29:36 pm
They must have altered it since you read it. The volt is now derived from the mobile phone.
Quote
A 55-volt electric current can kill in certain circumstances – that’s the equivalent of 10 mobile phones.
Science is never still.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 27 October, 2019, 11:31:26 am
Not exactly a province, but...



I like the name of the Bailiff.
https://www.thelondoneconomic.com/news/senior-politician-describes-breastfeeding-as-a-fad/25/10/?fbclid=IwAR34mrwj1j6HJYI5zsYvmcuirYmRLiKnnowqV1m8eRLWJCe0HbNnyRTaOus
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 27 October, 2019, 01:47:32 pm
They must have altered it since you read it. The volt is now derived from the mobile phone.
Quote
A 55-volt electric current can kill in certain circumstances – that’s the equivalent of 10 mobile phones.
Science is never still.

The pedant in me insists a current is measured in Amps, not volts but I'm no sparkie!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 27 October, 2019, 01:55:54 pm
The best bit is that it's the power company's spokeswoman quoted getting their units wrong.

Quote
A spokeswoman for Western Power said: “A member of the public noticed some suspicious activity on our network and called us. We entered and found an illegal extraction at one property and informed police who found a second property nearby.

“We made them safe.”

She added: “Illegal extraction involves interfering with our network. A 55-volt electric current can kill in certain circumstances – that’s the equivalent of 10 mobile phones. The lowest on our network is 230v. It is extremely dangerous.

To be fair, she's going to be a PR droid, not someone with technical knowledge, but you'd have thought that someone at Western Power would have advised her or checked before she went public.


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 28 October, 2019, 09:06:36 am
Even CEOs do it - one from a company that makes jousting bait said that a unit had generated X GW in a year, without mentioning the amount of energy that it supplied. That's one BFO turbine!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 08 November, 2019, 09:25:21 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-50331907

Never expected to hear "sex toys" and "Rocks Off" on Beeb TV!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 November, 2019, 11:12:24 pm
I don't think luck really comes into it...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-50380248

(Reminds me of the time my parents accused me of sniffing air freshener[1] because I kept moving the cans away from the gas lamp we were temporarily using in the bathroom pending some electrical work.  I was most confused, mainly because this was my first introduction to the concept of solvent abuse, but having tentatively accepted that it was a thing that some people did, couldn't work out why they thought I was stupid enough not to put them back exactly where I found them.  Being older and wiser, the further thought occurs that why the hell would anyone want a nose-full of Glade when there's a perfectly good cartridge of unadulterated Camping Gaz available right next to it?)

Anyway, all air freshener is evil.  Automated dispensers, doubly so.



[1] They were desperate to discover that I was a substance abuser, because reasons.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 November, 2019, 09:36:21 am
Anyway, all air freshener is evil.  Automated dispensers, doubly so.
It's more air disguiser than freshener.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 November, 2019, 12:55:19 pm
Anyway, all air freshener is evil.  Automated dispensers, doubly so.
It's more air disguiser than freshener.

And it doesn't even manage that.  I, like most people with functional noses, am perfectly capable of smelling more than one thing at the same time.  Adding air disguiser doesn't get rid of the mould/poo/smoking/whatever you're trying to mask, it just makes it worse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 November, 2019, 01:31:45 pm
That's because it doesn't disguise the smells, just the air.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 November, 2019, 01:37:25 pm
That's because it doesn't disguise the smells, just the air.

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ham on 12 November, 2019, 02:25:58 pm
Anyway, all air freshener is evil.  Automated dispensers, doubly so.
It's more air disguiser than freshener.

And it doesn't even manage that.  I, like most people with functional noses, am perfectly capable of smelling more than one thing at the same time.  Adding air disguiser doesn't get rid of the mould/poo/smoking/whatever you're trying to mask, it just makes it worse.

mmm whilst I wouldn't disagree on the general unpleasantness of the average air spray,  I genuinely reckon the Febreze style do actually do summat with the akchewal smelly stuff, in a way that the standard air "freshener" abjectly fails to do. Candles also work, Things like the Prices air freshener candles (branded "Open Window") are a little better, too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 November, 2019, 02:36:14 pm
Former housemate used to have a getting-home-from-clubbing procedure of chucking his clothes in a bin liner and squirting in liberal quantities of Febreze before sealing up to be dealt with post-hangover.  It seemed pretty effective at removing cigarette smoke from shiny trousers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 November, 2019, 09:06:23 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/18030163.bus-drivers-not-backing-bristol-street-morning/?ref=ar

Stalemate in Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 December, 2019, 02:20:24 am
Today's instalment in "straight people are weird":  https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-50434664

I had no idea.  Good for them.  Apart from the house prices thing, which is only good news in a not-really-at-all small-minded Brit kind of way and beyond the scope of this eyeroll.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 December, 2019, 09:13:41 am
I had no idea Newquay was like that but there's a centuries long association of seaside resorts and debauchery. It might have started with Prince Whoever it was in Brighton around 1810 but I suspect it's longer than that.

"straight people are weird": 
About 1997 my flatmate and I went to the seaside, because it was 106 miles to Torquay, I had a car, the sun was shining and it was the weekend. I'm not sure I'd find that drive fun now but I did back then. So we found a B&B and obviously it's much cheaper to share a room than get two single rooms (which I'm not sure the B&B even had available). So the landlady looks at us semi-suspiciously, Simon with his dreadlocks and me with [supply your adjective here], and says she doesn't want any dodgy goings-on and mentions her husband is a policeman. It was 1997. We had a good weekend, I don't recall encountering any stag or hen parties but they weren't really yet a thing back then.

Fawlty Towers was set in Torquay but I didn't know Basil back then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on 06 December, 2019, 10:34:57 pm
I'm pretty sure I'd been to a stag do in Torquay by 1997. But we probably just looked like 8 young blokes out for a drink.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 06 December, 2019, 11:23:05 pm

I was going to say I knew both lads who died as I went to school with them,  then I checked the dates & was recalling something over 30 years ago ...   Young blokes, booze & Newquay would seem to be a bad combination.


https://www.upi.com/Archives/1983/07/25/Two-teenagers-accidentally-jumped-to-their-deaths-when-they/6817427953600/ (https://www.upi.com/Archives/1983/07/25/Two-teenagers-accidentally-jumped-to-their-deaths-when-they/6817427953600/)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/cornwall/8328442.stm
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 07 December, 2019, 08:39:09 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/18086380.swindon-schoolboy-discovers-huge-hula-hoop/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 07 December, 2019, 09:15:15 am
Hmmm...

https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/17358050.massive-beef-flavoured-hula-hoop-found-in-stroud/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 07 December, 2019, 11:31:36 am
Bugger me, they're EVERYWHERE!

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/4786628/worlds-biggest-crisp-hula-hoop-fort-william/

Three flavours so far.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 December, 2019, 04:52:49 pm
Hula Hoop sales up 109%!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 09 December, 2019, 07:07:18 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/18089803.swindon-recycling-centre-produces-cheese-vomit-smell-rubbish/

I hear Venice mings too, at certain times of year
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 09 December, 2019, 07:09:49 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/18089803.swindon-recycling-centre-produces-cheese-vomit-smell-rubbish/

I hear Venice mings too, at certain times of year

Kenton Lane Farm (see 'Grammar' thread): where new homes are built from former dairy products....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 09 December, 2019, 07:40:40 pm
They must have altered it since you read it. The volt is now derived from the mobile phone.
Quote
A 55-volt electric current can kill in certain circumstances – that’s the equivalent of 10 mobile phones.
Science is never still.

Pardon my memory, but my recollection from my days as a student of elfin' safety, was that 110V CTE, gave max 55v shock and was as such unlikely to result in any nastiness due to the inherent resistance of the human bean?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 09 December, 2019, 08:03:41 pm
'Unlikely' fits with 'certain circumstances'.  A recently-watered bean, for example, is likely to have a much lower surface resistance...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 09 December, 2019, 08:26:32 pm
This is why 'merkins are allowed plugs in their bathrooms.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 09 December, 2019, 10:23:52 pm
This is why 'merkins are allowed plugs in their bathrooms.

You're looking at it the wrong way round: They use shaver plugs for all their appliances  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 December, 2019, 11:40:20 am
This is why USAnian tea is served cold.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 December, 2019, 12:34:28 pm
This is why 'merkins are allowed plugs in their bathrooms.

You're looking at it the wrong way round: They use shaver plugs for all their appliances  ;D
This is why USAnian tea is served cold.
Quite right! Hot tea would scald your face. Besides, it would dye your chin a funny colour.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 December, 2019, 02:25:42 pm
Speaking of tea, best avoid it in Manchester: The bizarre moment a FOX pees in a man's cup of tea (https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/fox-urinated-cup-tea-wythenshawe-17392197)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 10 December, 2019, 02:46:26 pm
Not exactly timid, are they?  I haven't seen a live one in the wild for years.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 December, 2019, 02:58:51 pm
What was he doing leaving it unattended? And on the pavement! Careless human!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 10 December, 2019, 03:40:48 pm
Cows wearing jumpers!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-50730400 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-50730400)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 December, 2019, 04:53:49 pm
Dismal failure to exploit puntential.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 10 December, 2019, 06:33:51 pm
Posted for the headline, if nothing else. :D

http://courtnewsuk.co.uk/salmon-farm-victim-of-2m-phishing-fraud/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 December, 2019, 07:37:12 pm
Quote
Man's fear for Cavapoo as yet another sausage found on Bristol pavement
Is cavapoo the Spanish version of prosecco turd?
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/mans-fear-cavapoo-yet-another-3637423
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 December, 2019, 12:53:43 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-50810196

I really hope the excessive use of air freshener was an attempt to conceal the smell of smoking...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 December, 2019, 12:44:57 pm
Huge Brussels sprout spill after trailer crash in Rosyth (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-50811266)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 23 December, 2019, 08:44:04 am
Huge Brussels sprout spill after trailer crash in Rosyth (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-50811266)
I blame the Greens.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 24 December, 2019, 11:45:27 am
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/cyclist-dragged-car-knife-wielding- (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/cyclist-dragged-car-knife-wielding-17469858)


Sounds unpleasant.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 30 December, 2019, 09:55:42 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/18127719.mickey-mouse-peppa-pig-told-leave-shopping-centre/?action=success#comments-feedback-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orraloon on 30 December, 2019, 06:05:52 pm
What sort of plonker initiates this?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-50948901
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 December, 2019, 06:25:52 pm
Might not have been a human involved in issuing it at all.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 December, 2019, 06:33:54 pm
Shirley issuing a parking ticket to a police car is what passes for epic lols among traffic wardens civil enforcement officers?  I expect they thought it would get a "ha ha" bin response, rather than kicking off an unstoppable bureaucratic process.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 December, 2019, 06:55:04 pm
Wasn't on a street though, private car park. Probably just some sort of ANPR-triggered thingy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orraloon on 30 December, 2019, 07:10:01 pm
23:55 - 00:29 GMT.  I may be out of touch wiv da modern wurrlldd innit, but parking fees at midnight?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 30 December, 2019, 07:42:01 pm
All year round, in many places.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 08 January, 2020, 03:04:48 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/heroic-schoolboys-save-mum-baby-17520377


Thuggish swans.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 January, 2020, 06:33:27 pm
Thuggish swans.

Geese with white privilege and good PR
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 09 January, 2020, 05:09:55 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-51051153 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-51051153)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 09 January, 2020, 05:29:59 pm
As students, we lived around the corner from a Dolland & Aitchinson opticians. One evening, after a few drinks, we conspired in a plan to liberate the owl that graced their frontage. So we'd borrowed a ladder from Norm the Mildly Psychotic Milkman's yard (not Norman the Gangster, that's another Norm, and we wouldn't touch his ladder). Midway through said liberation, who should turn up, why yes, if isn't PCs Meddlesome and Spoiler and their insistence that the owl not be liberated.

One stern telling off later we snuck back and took the owl. Be free my little plastic friend. Actually, it was quite big.

The next morning as we swept away hangovers and commonsense dawned, we noted that (a) the owl was now in a primely incriminating position on the sofa and not above D&A and (b) we'd given our actual address to PC Meddlesome. Figuring that it was only a matter of time, we scurried into action, grabbing a spade from Norm the Mildly Psychotic Milkman's yard (he had everything back there), and using that to lever up a paving stone from the scrubby little patio behind our house and make a owl-shaped hole.

So there lies the D&A owl, buried under a Liverpool patio. Never dig up a patio in Liverpool is probably good advice.

If the stature of limitations doesn't apply, this is just a story I made up, OK, and I didn't know anyone involved. Owl, what owl? The police never did turn up.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 January, 2020, 07:19:45 pm
What should really worry you is what else the owl might contain that could now be pinned on you...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 09 January, 2020, 10:51:28 pm
At the college where I did my Foundation Course we had a second-hand coffin in the locker room.
Two of us "found" it in an  undertaker's yard one lunchtime, and decided that it would be a grand addition to the college's furniture.

I can't  1; understand how we managed to do it in broad daylight
            2; understand how we got away with it
            3; remember what happened to it
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Nuncio on 10 January, 2020, 01:29:27 pm
https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/meet-devon-woman-whose-knees-3720388 (https://www.devonlive.com/news/devon-news/meet-devon-woman-whose-knees-3720388) ... look like EastEnders hard men Grant & Phil Mitchell.

I have added the remainer of the headline to the url so you don't have to click on it to get the gist of the story. But you'd be missing out on photos of a) the Mitchell brothers and b) knees (confusingly, they've not been captioned so it's your guess as to which is which), a video, and some cracking quotes. Ah, gwan, here's one :'People started asking Holly about her unusual skill, prompting her to "get the Mitchells out".'

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 10 January, 2020, 09:02:32 pm
At the college where I did my Foundation Course we had a second-hand coffin in the locker room.
Two of us "found" it in an  undertaker's yard one lunchtime, and decided that it would be a grand addition to the college's furniture.

I can't  1; understand how we managed to do it in broad daylight
            2; understand how we got away with it
            3; remember what happened to it

A coffin appeared in the yard behind my accommodation when I was at college. So far as I am aware it was never occupied. One morning, at about 2 o'clock, a small group of us processed up the Breck Road in Poulton-le-Fylde and place said coffin on top of a table-style gravestone.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 11 January, 2020, 10:11:18 am
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/grieving-paisley-dad-stages-armed-siege-before-demanding-bag-of-cans-from-cops/ar-BBYQPja?ocid=spartandhp
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Salvatore on 12 January, 2020, 04:48:00 pm
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/grieving-paisley-dad-stages-armed-siege-before-demanding-bag-of-cans-from-cops/ar-BBYQPja?ocid=spartandhp

"caused a huge rammy "

A ruckus is "more than a stooshie, but no quite a rammy". (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUhOEMf41Gc)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 January, 2020, 03:02:51 pm
Grimsby terror threat due to direct trains from London.

https://twitter.com/search?q=grimsby%20live&src=typd

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EOUKyJgW4AAINRO.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 15 January, 2020, 04:12:44 pm
Yep, the lack of a direct train service is the only thing holding them back. That and KX was out of halal pasties on the day they had planned and it's a long journey without a pasty.

I used to go to Cleethorpes when I was three (so don't really remember it) because my mum's sister lived there. My mum has loads of black and white pictures of me being dragged around and her being very pregnant* (my father evidently didn't go anywhere even then). For another couple of years afterwards, I believed that Cleethorpes was genuinely devoid of colour, like the things on TV (I had a Philips black and white portable, awesome).

*spooky dead sister, which I also didn't realise for quite a while.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 January, 2020, 09:26:43 pm
Just imagine the improvements a big Muslamic bomb could make to Grimsby.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 January, 2020, 10:11:59 pm
As someone pointed out, there are people in London who are now trembling in their boots at the thought of direct trains bringing hordes of Grimsbyites. (I'm sure Grimsby's very nice but as I have cousins who used to live in Hull, I'm duty bound to diss it.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 15 January, 2020, 11:13:00 pm
Grimsby.  The clue is in the name.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 January, 2020, 11:28:27 am
Nobody wants to go to Grimsby1.  Even people who live there don't want to go back.

1. Except for TV's Guy Martin, who is Not Right in the Head.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 21 January, 2020, 02:53:56 pm
The bells! The bells!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-51191509 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-51191509)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 21 January, 2020, 05:13:04 pm
The bells! The bells!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-51191509 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-51191509)

13 would be the perfect number of Brexit bongs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on 21 January, 2020, 06:13:59 pm
Attention Florida Man...

(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/83647854_1371874612979030_8719462121223487488_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&_nc_ohc=l1bZLVjM-WYAX83z-ih&_nc_ht=scontent-lht6-1.xx&oh=e213a1c73c3b671ccfe72f685fca0e32&oe=5E9549DB)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rowan on 21 January, 2020, 06:37:39 pm
Just horrible, it looks like it is stuck through the creatures eye.

Sad that people find this in anyway amusing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 January, 2020, 01:58:28 pm
The bells! The bells!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-51191509 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-51191509)

13 would be the perfect number of Brexit bongs.

Only because even Mark François would find six hundred and sixty-six a bit over the top.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 22 January, 2020, 04:19:36 pm
Cheese slice as a bookmark.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-51205845 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-51205845)

Can't do that with a kindle.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 23 January, 2020, 10:42:35 am
Quote
Essex crow terrorises cars by destroying windscreen wipers

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-51178250 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-51178250)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 23 January, 2020, 01:16:10 pm
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/residents-in-north-east-england-shaken-by-early-morning-earthquake/ar-BBZfexz?ocid=spartanntp

Small earthquake hits Stockton.

Some slight property improvements.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 24 January, 2020, 12:05:29 pm
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/residents-in-north-east-england-shaken-by-early-morning-earthquake/ar-BBZfexz?ocid=spartanntp

Small earthquake hits Stockton.

Some slight property improvements.
oooh, me trinklements. The council should do something.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 January, 2020, 02:18:29 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/18183960.evel-binievel-hopes-go-wheelie-fast-break-records-modified-bin/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 24 January, 2020, 06:29:08 pm
Nobody wants to go to Grimsby1.  Even people who live there don't want to go back.

1. Except for TV's Guy Martin, who is Not Right in the Head.

Not Grimsby, Keelby, very much NOT Grimsby.  I lived in a village just up the road for four years. It was definitely North East Lincolnshire. 

Best thing about Cleethorpes was the £1 railway ticket from Grimsby, a couple of pints in the 'spoons, hop on the train and a pint or two of John Smiths Magnet at Cleethorpes station before heading for Steele's fish and chips.

Do not go to the Pier nightclub unless you want to relive that PSO feet sticking to the carpet experience (that was almost 20 years ago thobut)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 24 January, 2020, 07:28:19 pm
A significant minority of yacf members had that PSO sticking to the carpet experience within the past few months...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 January, 2020, 12:33:29 pm
Nobody wants to go to Grimsby1.  Even people who live there don't want to go back.

1. Except for TV's Guy Martin, who is Not Right in the Head.

Not Grimsby, Keelby, very much NOT Grimsby.  I lived in a village just up the road for four years. It was definitely North East Lincolnshire. 

Best thing about Cleethorpes was the £1 railway ticket from Grimsby, a couple of pints in the 'spoons, hop on the train and a pint or two of John Smiths Magnet at Cleethorpes station before heading for Steele's fish and chips.

Do not go to the Pier nightclub unless you want to relive that PSO feet sticking to the carpet experience (that was almost 20 years ago thobut)

Though I understand that TV's Mr Martin has his lorry-fettling gig in Grimsby.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 27 January, 2020, 06:52:53 pm
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/smugglers-caught-red-handed-with-£60m-of-cocaine-crammed-into-yacht-off-welsh-coast/ar-BBZmYRW?ocid=spartanntp

Sailing to Haverfordwest... Well, the 'Western Cleddau' runs through the town, but there are a few weirs, and that looks like a yatchet which would have a rather deep keel...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 02 February, 2020, 07:14:14 pm
Quote
Essex crow terrorises cars by destroying windscreen wipers

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-51178250 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-51178250)

Oh noes  :o Those poor cars  :'(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 February, 2020, 07:40:40 pm
Quote
Essex crow terrorises cars by destroying windscreen wipers

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-51178250 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-51178250)

Oh noes  :o Those poor cars  :'(
I for one welcome our new sentient automobile overlords. (Oh no I don't!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 03 February, 2020, 12:53:55 pm
Nobody wants to go to Grimsby1.  Even people who live there don't want to go back.

1. Except for TV's Guy Martin, who is Not Right in the Head.
Grimsby has a very good (i.e. good facilities) yacht marina. I've spent a bit of time in there with a poorly boat. Decent boatyard next door.

Walking from there into town, you pass shattered buildings, remnants of the fishing industry. More shattered and shuttered buildings; and you realise you are actually on Grimsby's high st.

It is like a town bombed out, then abandoned to the rats and cockroaches.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 February, 2020, 09:30:40 pm
Those with long memories and too little to do may recall the "Monty Python Big Red Book" with an advertisement for Cleethorpes.

Quote
Holiday in Spain? Why not come to Cleethorpes? We've got everything the bloody Dagoes have got and you don't have to learn their stupid language.

Cleethorpes - a good place for liberal intellectuals.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 04 February, 2020, 09:20:06 am
Those with long memories and too little to do may recall the "Monty Python Big Red Book" with an advertisement for Cleethorpes.

Quote
Holiday in Spain? Why not come to Cleethorpes? We've got everything the bloody Dagoes have got and you don't have to learn their stupid language.

Cleethorpes - a good place for liberal intellectuals.

And imagine how hissy the self-righteous PC arseholes would get if someone came out with that now. "Yes we know it's satire but you can't..." etc.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 04 February, 2020, 09:37:24 am
...let it go by.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 04 February, 2020, 09:46:00 am
Those with long memories and too little to do may recall the "Monty Python Big Red Book" with an advertisement for Cleethorpes.

Quote
Holiday in Spain? Why not come to Cleethorpes? We've got everything the bloody Dagoes have got and you don't have to learn their stupid language.

Cleethorpes - a good place for liberal intellectuals.

And imagine how hissy the self-righteous PC arseholes would get if someone came out with that now. "Yes we know it's satire but you can't..." etc.
They'd melt - they'd melt!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MikeFromLFE on 04 February, 2020, 08:43:33 pm
Worth reading if nothing else for the bonkers story of a murderous French teacher who started shooting up Leicester after a boozy game of billiards turned sour.....
(OK, not in recent weeks, but I could see most of this happening down Churchgate one Friday night still)

https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/leicester-news/leicester-square-renamed-after-medieval-3805778
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 06 February, 2020, 02:44:01 pm
Crematorium partly cremated

 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-51397695 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-51397695)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pumpkin on 07 February, 2020, 01:32:07 pm
Sections of the Rochdale population don't like bikes or seek to avail themselves of bikes perhaps. My wife doesn't go there due to some of the villains who wander the streets.

Dear Cycle Hub Member

Unfortunately due to ongoing and persistent vandalism we have taken the decision to close the cycle hub in Rochdale located opposite the railway station. This facility will still provide covered stands for parking but will no longer be classed as a cycle hub.

We’re very sorry for any inconvenience this may cause, and any members affected can contact us at: cycle.membership@tfgm.com

Kind regards

Cycle Membership Team
Transport for Greater Manchester

Whereas the more upmarket Altrincham has this

Dear Cycle Hub Member

On Tuesday 11th February, Altrincham Interchange Cycle Hub will closed from 5pm to allow a deep clean to take place safely inside the hub.

PLEASE NOTE: Any bikes left in the hub during this time will be cleaned around, but water damage may occur. It is advised you remove your bike before 5pm on Tuesday in order to avoid any damage.

The hub will return to normal use at 12pm the following day.

Kind regards

Cycle Membership Team
Transport for Greater Manchester


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 14 February, 2020, 12:33:02 pm
Arbroath Macht Frei?

https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/arbroath-high-street-sign-draws-unfavourable-comparison-with-infamous-death-camp/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 14 February, 2020, 01:11:48 pm
When we lived in the Essonne, a town near us once had a banner across the street saying, probably, "Soyez les bienvenus". Unfortunately it had got a bit tangled in the wind, so that it read "Soyez lesbien nus" - an almost-grammatical invitation to become naked male lesbians.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Salvatore on 19 February, 2020, 08:15:30 am
Police called to unauthorised rave during storm Dennis (https://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/18239180.hampshire-police-called-micheldever-farmland-rave-storm-dennis/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 21 February, 2020, 12:00:17 pm
This one keeps on giving right up to the final paragraph

https://twitter.com/Dr_RaulDuke/status/1230506376541155334/photo/1 (https://twitter.com/Dr_RaulDuke/status/1230506376541155334/photo/1)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 24 February, 2020, 11:26:17 am
Go to Ilkeston for your holibobs. You'll have a hole load of fun!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-51611555
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 24 February, 2020, 12:26:33 pm
If it's any help, I was born in Ilkeston* and can vouch that it's a really good hole. Well worth the trip.

*fat lie, I was born in Heanor, but it says Ilkeston on my passport for some reason.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 28 February, 2020, 10:04:28 pm
Suffolk, but the other side of the county to me  8)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-51674057
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 29 February, 2020, 01:46:20 am
Mildenhall attendees will know the area...

Looks like it's wet round Rosie's....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 29 February, 2020, 06:22:39 am
Suffolk, but the other side of the county to me  8)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-51674057

I know the woman quoted in the article, used to be a neighbour and worked with my son for a while.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 29 February, 2020, 08:12:51 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-51617138 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-51617138)

An alternative view of the Fens
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 29 February, 2020, 09:08:16 am
Suffolk, but the other side of the county to me  8)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-51674057

I know the woman quoted in the article, used to be a neighbour and worked with my son for a while.

It’s not clear from the article if the long route is the only way. Councils have to show a diversion that can take the same class of vehicle that the closed road can take, drivers smaller vehicles are able to use their discretion, if they have any.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 29 February, 2020, 09:22:30 am
It's not the only way, and it's definitely not a 28 mile detour
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 March, 2020, 05:06:34 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/08/burning-calories-pig-starts-farm-fire-by-excreting-pedometer
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 March, 2020, 05:29:12 pm
Local politics goes meta: https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/lib-dems-launch-mayoral-campaign-with-bid-to-scrap-mayor/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 08 March, 2020, 07:17:17 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/08/burning-calories-pig-starts-farm-fire-by-excreting-pedometer

I was just about to post this!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 March, 2020, 08:18:58 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/08/burning-calories-pig-starts-farm-fire-by-excreting-pedometer

I was just about to post this!

Hopefully with the caption "Strava or it didn't happen"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 08 March, 2020, 08:46:56 pm
I was just surprised it wasn't closer to home
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 08 March, 2020, 10:28:26 pm
That's shit hot!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 10 March, 2020, 06:36:13 pm
A bit of an "And Finally.." story, along with the roller-skating dogs etc, but I did like this happy ending (settle down at the back!)...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-51815807
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 11 March, 2020, 09:17:40 am
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 11 March, 2020, 10:05:03 am
A bit of an "And Finally.." story, along with the roller-skating dogs etc, but I did like this happy ending (settle down at the back!)...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-51815807
That's a lovely story and a bit of good doggy-thinking by the rescue crew.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 12 March, 2020, 01:00:58 pm
Don't tell Obelix...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-51832875 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-51832875)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 25 March, 2020, 11:22:07 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/hospital-medic-left-bleeding-profusely-17976662      Bloody cyclists......... >:(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 02 April, 2020, 12:07:46 pm
https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/18353089.parish-councillor-paints-bus-stop-whiteshill-pay-tribute-nhs/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 09 April, 2020, 02:36:33 pm
https://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/18368879.morale-boost-royal-bournemouth-hospital-staff/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 April, 2020, 07:09:22 pm
Quote
"Never seen anything like it, two men being held down, dozens of what looked like undercover police in either green caps or black and white checkered caps.
Undercover – but all wearing distinctive caps? ???
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/two-men-arrested-outside-sainsburys-4045371
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 April, 2020, 01:08:29 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/local-news/cyclist-pulled-safety-after-falling-18099245   


'Cyclist pulled to safety after falling 20ft down gorge'


Make your bloody minds up , is it a gorge, a ravine or simply a ditch......




Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 April, 2020, 01:12:30 pm
The geography of Warrington has evidently got a bit more exciting since I last visited.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 April, 2020, 01:20:09 pm
Indeed,  you'd associate ravines & gorges with somewhere a tad hillier....   https://gerryco23.wordpress.com/2015/04/18/walking-the-mersey-along-sankey-brook-to-runcorn/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 April, 2020, 01:24:33 pm
Never go to Runcorn!  It's an inescapable fractal of 60mph main roads and twisty identikit cul-de-sacs.  Like Redditch, but with Scousers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 16 April, 2020, 01:28:12 pm
I was through Runcorn by coach in 1964 (penniless student heading for Germany). Along with Speke it was one of the filthiest places I have ever seen, with everything covered in soot.  I believe they scrubbed it up a bit since, but that's the image that remains.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 April, 2020, 01:39:27 pm
A friend used to refer to Runcorn & Widnes as "the land of a thousand smells".    It's been cleaned up a lot, sadly because most of the industry has gone.


The cycle route along the Mersey up to Widnes does take you right past a carcass rendering plant though, which is aromatic  :sick:



Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 16 April, 2020, 01:52:56 pm
Never go to Runcorn!  It's an inescapable fractal of 60mph main roads and twisty identikit cul-de-sacs.  Like Redditch, but with Scousers.

Finding the centre of Runcorn is similar to finding that of Telford - you go round and round, can see it, but can't find a way in.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 April, 2020, 02:17:21 pm
Never go to Runcorn!  It's an inescapable fractal of 60mph main roads and twisty identikit cul-de-sacs.  Like Redditch, but with Scousers.

Finding the centre of Runcorn is similar to finding that of Telford - you go round and round, can see it, but can't find a way in.


The inmates of Runcorn are not Scousers     https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=wooly%20back
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 16 April, 2020, 06:11:52 pm
Never go to Runcorn!  It's an inescapable fractal of 60mph main roads and twisty identikit cul-de-sacs.  Like Redditch, but with Scousers.

Finding the centre of Runcorn is similar to finding that of Telford - you go round and round, can see it, but can't find a way in.
Was Telford built to punish Wellington for something? They are so diametrically opposite.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 17 April, 2020, 09:16:50 am
Never go to Runcorn!  It's an inescapable fractal of 60mph main roads and twisty identikit cul-de-sacs.  Like Redditch, but with Scousers.

Finding the centre of Runcorn is similar to finding that of Telford - you go round and round, can see it, but can't find a way in.


There is no centre to Telford... it's a myth.  Men have gone mad chasing that Shangri-La.  You can hear their cries echoing in the Ironbridge Gorge.

I think that Telford was designed by petrol producers as a way of ensuring demand for their product.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 17 April, 2020, 09:20:46 am
Telford is a shit version of Milton Keynes.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 17 April, 2020, 09:28:03 am
Finding the centre of such places is a bit like trying to find the highest point of Kinder Scout in mist - or clear conditions for that matter. It's put there to keep us occupied.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 April, 2020, 01:42:06 pm
I've been to the Weatherspoons in the middle of Telford.  I don't recommend it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 April, 2020, 04:24:36 pm
Like a vortex in the middle of a black hole.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on 17 April, 2020, 04:28:13 pm
About 20 years ago, MrsC and I had a holiday in Shropshire. One of our projects while there was to get a photograph of every location in the county where there was a record of traditional morris dancing (the latest record being about 1925, none of the modern revival teams).
We succeeded getting pictures from every one of the two dozen or so locations except for the village which Telford is now on top of. There was no trace at all of any older settlement (unlike Milton Keynes for example, where you can find the old centres).
Very disappointing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 27 April, 2020, 08:56:45 am
Belper's nightly lockdown moo goes global


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-derbyshire-52401521/coronavirus-belper-s-nightly-lockdown-moo-goes-global
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 27 April, 2020, 09:28:37 am
I think people in Belper always did that. My gran was from Belper, which made her a bit foreign and leant a whiff of exoticism to my family line, what with it being an entire six miles away.

In other news, it also had value since 'belping' in the local vernacular was a burp.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 April, 2020, 08:12:50 am
As Alicia Keyes had Goldie Lookin Chain, so John Denver has...
https://youtu.be/TYtwCRPfOcE
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 April, 2020, 08:07:10 pm
What surprises me about that is I've never found a West Samoa version.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Poacher on 07 May, 2020, 08:20:51 pm
Fugitive caught after blowing his cover with fart: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-52577485
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 07 May, 2020, 10:56:25 pm
Realising officers were on the scent!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 09 May, 2020, 12:10:50 pm
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/local-news/dorset-knob-eating-contest-cockermouth-4115875
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 11 May, 2020, 06:14:09 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/cyclist-motorway-crash-after-surreal-18234089     
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 May, 2020, 06:27:55 pm
I would have expected a higher threshold for "surreal" up Liverpool way.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 May, 2020, 09:28:30 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/18448301.burger-king-meal-arrives-cold-chips-stuck-together-brown-lettuce/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 15 May, 2020, 02:37:20 pm
It's either here or Tales from the Lockdown

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-52677514 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-52677514)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 May, 2020, 12:03:30 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/property/historic-city-centre-town-house-18238594


Nice house & convenient for a very good pub. (If it ever reopens) 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 16 May, 2020, 12:12:05 pm
RICS are forecasting falling house prices for the next year or so.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 16 May, 2020, 02:47:59 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/dad-collects-14000-empty-crisp-4135294
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 16 May, 2020, 04:45:14 pm
It's either here or Tales from the Lockdown

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-52677514 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-52677514)

 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 May, 2020, 05:01:47 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/dad-collects-14000-empty-crisp-4135294
This probably makes audaxers who keep every single brevet card look normal. Perhaps.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 16 May, 2020, 06:42:01 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/dad-collects-14000-empty-crisp-4135294
This probably makes audaxers who keep every single brevet card look normal. Perhaps.
OI! I resemble that remark
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 16 May, 2020, 09:35:19 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/dad-collects-14000-empty-crisp-4135294
This probably makes audaxers who keep every single brevet card look normal. Perhaps.
OI! I resemble that remark

So do I.

I'm really glad I did. I only rode a few events for a few years and these souvenirs are hardly bulky.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 17 May, 2020, 11:31:05 am
https://metro.co.uk/2017/12/28/woman-rode-motorbike-naked-sex-street-punched-blind-man-7188798/?ito=article.mweb.share.top.facebook&fbclid=IwAR0PJM7uhhQnWCTAad03JFRyMwf712ImGc4pA5YoUUx7_XCzNtGmOBFuxyk
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 May, 2020, 08:49:18 pm
"Here are some great photos of a UFO shooting into the sky from Bristol, UK.
"Its a fantastic example of how UFOs can make clouds! Sometimes UFOs do come down to visit and explore while a lockdown is in place in the UK.
"Maybe someone saw it or frightened it and it shot upward into the sky leaving a smokey trail." (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/aliens-ufo-bristol-lockdown-coronavirus-4156457)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 May, 2020, 12:50:15 pm
An emu has been spotted on the loose near Bristol.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/emu-loose-fields-near-hartcliffe-4176821

I reckon it's revenge for this:
https://youtu.be/0r8afyJjOsM
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 June, 2020, 10:02:00 pm
Darkness falls in the West of England:
Quote
"I took a walk past but saw no evidence of an explosion or any kind of markings. However it was dark.

The fire brigade found nothing solid:
Quote
A spokesperson for Avon Fire and Rescue confirmed they were called to the Portway where they found some smoke.

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/smoke-loud-bang-heard-near-4188619
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 June, 2020, 08:07:07 pm
A very usage of "culture" and "Swindon" in one sentence.
https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2020/jun/04/great-british-art-quiz-swindon-museum-art-gallery
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 06 June, 2020, 05:00:06 pm
Darkness falls in the West of England:
Quote
"I took a walk past but saw no evidence of an explosion or any kind of markings. However it was dark.

The fire brigade found nothing solid:
Quote
A spokesperson for Avon Fire and Rescue confirmed they were called to the Portway where they found some smoke.

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/smoke-loud-bang-heard-near-4188619

Smoke and loud bang heard near Clifton Suspension Bridge

That’s pretty loud smoke!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 10 June, 2020, 12:58:28 pm
https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/18500769.calmac-discover-golfers-hiding-vans-attempt-evade-lockdown-rules-travel-scots-islands/?ref=fbshr&fbclid=IwAR2FfE1XRZbnc9iQIcK2RTnjMJWFvuWDcTF5ngi_0poTgvk4FsT8g-ximu0 (https://www.heraldscotland.com/news/18500769.calmac-discover-golfers-hiding-vans-attempt-evade-lockdown-rules-travel-scots-islands/?ref=fbshr&fbclid=IwAR2FfE1XRZbnc9iQIcK2RTnjMJWFvuWDcTF5ngi_0poTgvk4FsT8g-ximu0)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 10 June, 2020, 11:59:46 pm
Big news in Norfolk.
https://www.northnorfolknews.co.uk/news/north-norfolk-toilet-vandalism-1-6694288
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on 11 June, 2020, 12:51:59 am
Big news in Norfolk.
https://www.northnorfolknews.co.uk/news/north-norfolk-toilet-vandalism-1-6694288

I think I may have napped on that bench on an Audx.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 24 June, 2020, 02:16:33 pm
Guildford station closed, lines blocked, suspect packages, two controlled explosions.

From the Get Surrey website live commentary:

Quote
Another Army truck that appears to be another bomb disposal unit has arrived at the scene. It's pulled up next to the other one and came in with the siren on.

We'll bring you updates on this when we can. It's unclear why a second truck is needed and whether any further explosions are expected.

We're all hoping to see that little robot they use, let's be honest
.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 05 July, 2020, 09:38:38 pm
Meanwhile, a long way from London...

Quote
Devon off-grid residents used axes to threaten 'doggers'
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 July, 2020, 12:08:13 pm
(https://i2-prod.bristolpost.co.uk/incoming/article4289794.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/0_what-a-marvel-a-538564.jpg)
Quote
A stunned woman spotted this Marvel-lous cloud - looking just like the comic book hero the 'Silver Surfer'.
It's too bad for the terrible jokes thread.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 06 July, 2020, 02:58:14 pm
Meanwhile, a long way from London...

Quote
Devon off-grid residents used axes to threaten 'doggers'
Getting their choppers out in public...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 07 July, 2020, 09:15:36 pm
https://asenseofplace.com/2014/03/07/walking-home-from-norris-green/


A very good blog entry describing a walk across Liverpool, with particular attention paid to public housing.   The video at the ends has 1930's footage of the Myrtle Gardens complex , I live in the remaining part of that.  Good solid structures that were left to decay due to inadequate maintenance.  I was looking at the specs for some recently built houses & most of the rooms are smaller than the ones in my tiny flat. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 08 July, 2020, 12:18:48 am
I live in a house that is 200 years old this year. Before this one we had a house about 50 years older. Before that one A bungalow that is now 100 years old and still going, before that again, one 140 years old. I grew up in a house about 250 years old.

On a tour of bits of Belfast being replaced (In c1995) the senior housing person explained that the design lifetime of the wonderful houses being built in place of the Divis Flats was 25 years.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 08 July, 2020, 06:56:35 am
https://asenseofplace.com/2014/03/07/walking-home-from-norris-green/


A very good blog entry describing a walk across Liverpool, with particular attention paid to public housing.   The video at the ends has 1930's footage of the Myrtle Gardens complex , I live in the remaining part of that.  Good solid structures that were left to decay due to inadequate maintenance.  I was looking at the specs for some recently built houses & most of the rooms are smaller than the ones in my tiny flat.

Social housing has minimum room size requirements, albeit these have been watered down in recent years, unlike private housing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 08 July, 2020, 08:53:45 am
I live in a house that is 200 years old this year. Before this one we had a house about 50 years older. Before that one A bungalow that is now 100 years old and still going, before that again, one 140 years old. I grew up in a house about 250 years old.

On a tour of bits of Belfast being replaced (In c1995) the senior housing person explained that the design lifetime of the wonderful houses being built in place of the Divis Flats was 25 years.

To be fair, the expected lifetime of our (180 year old end terrace farm workers) cottage was probably thought to be 10 years or so.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 08 July, 2020, 09:33:18 am
I remember both my sets of grandparents who lived in very nice council semis, which were desirable at the time, large bedrooms, indoor bathrooms, dining and living rooms. On nicely laid out estates, plenty of green space, calm roads where kids played outside, people came down to their gates. They had front and back gardens and outbuildings. That would have been the late 70s/early 80s. It possibly was fairly idyllic. I spent most of my childhood with my paternal grandparents in one of those houses (I got the small bedroom, of course, my sister the large). There's a possibility there's still a yellow collection of surreptitiously secreted page 3s liberated from their daily copy of the The Sun at the back of the front room's wardrobe (yes, there was storage space). My other grandparents had an entire storage room.

At the time, my parents lived in falling down house with no indoor plumbing, no toilet, at the edge of a traveller encampment. It did eventually get condemned by the council and through some mechanism it got improved and we, ta-da, had a bathroom and a toilet that wasn't on the other side of a neighbour's garden, behind the angry dog. So then we moved to a more modern 1977 terrace on an estate. It was pretty small then (still is, my parents still live there) but decent. It would have been nice if it had central heating (the council houses got that in the late 70s). I think it was about 1984 that we were finally prised from our much fought-over spaces in front of the gas fire.

I did have a wander around that council estate about a year back. The houses are still there. Most of them seem to have been attacked by some kind of poorly thought-out home improvement scheme (what seriously was wrong with red brick?), gardens have been tarmacked, there's cars and bins scattered everywhere, the few remaining open spaces are scrub (most of them have had small houses squeezed on, including all the garages where I had my formative experiences with a 2 litre bottle of Woodpecker), and generally everything looked scrappy, dirty, and neglected. It looked exactly like what you'd expect a modern stereotype of a council estate to look.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on 08 July, 2020, 10:11:20 am
I have a theory that as we build dwellings with shorter and shorter life spans, at some point in time every one in the country will collapse at the same time.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 08 July, 2020, 10:26:19 am
The Asbestos Palace is a 1966 vintage It's substantial, the walls are solid brick and breeze-block, it's impermeable to wifi and, of course, fire.* Our last house, an actually fairly decent (i.e. not built by one of the usual suspects) new build townhouse was a lot less substantial, timber and plasterboard as far as I could tell. I don't think it would have survived an earthquake. Admittedly, not much of a risk in Anerley.

*lie, it has an asbestos flue buried in a wall that no one removed.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on 08 July, 2020, 03:48:30 pm
What we also tend to forget  is that those old buildings we see around us now are the ones that were built well enough to survive. There was plenty of shoddy building in the past, Georgian and Victorian speculative builders threw loads of stuff up that was really rubbish often not even bothering with foundations. The term "jerry built" was an early Victorian one to describe such housing. It took the 1875 public heath act which imposed regulation on standards of house building to start to sort it out.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 08 July, 2020, 03:54:57 pm
Some pretty dreadful stuff being erected atm though. Beware the company Range Rovers and Mercs, helicopter or multi million bonuses. The money has to come from somewhere.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 08 July, 2020, 04:49:42 pm
What we also tend to forget  is that those old buildings we see around us now are the ones that were built well enough to survive. There was plenty of shoddy building in the past, Georgian and Victorian speculative builders threw loads of stuff up that was really rubbish often not even bothering with foundations. The term "jerry built" was an early Victorian one to describe such housing. It took the 1875 public heath act which imposed regulation on standards of house building to start to sort it out.

Since forever. Roman insulae were liable to collapse once their owners added a floor too many.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 08 July, 2020, 08:12:41 pm
What we also tend to forget  is that those old buildings we see around us now are the ones that were built well enough to survive. There was plenty of shoddy building in the past, Georgian and Victorian speculative builders threw loads of stuff up that was really rubbish often not even bothering with foundations. The term "jerry built" was an early Victorian one to describe such housing. It took the 1875 public heath act which imposed regulation on standards of house building to start to sort it out.

True enough, the shit stuff has fallen down.

That said, I think the 1945 pre-fabs in Catford (Excalibur Estate) only recently met their demise.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 09 July, 2020, 09:20:32 am
My sister lived in a 'test' post war house for a number of years.  Each of the houses in her road had a slightly different design but the common factor was concrete build with a flat roof.

Apart from the flat roof (which is never a good idea in a country with so much rain) the houses, which had been very much 'thrown together' as prototypes, are still going strong.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 11 July, 2020, 08:10:45 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jul/11/liverpool-gangs-dominate-gun-and-drugs-trade-outside-london


My home city in the news again.  I though we wanted swashbuckling entrepreneurial businessmen in our new post Brexshit 2nd Elizabethan  age ? 


ISTR reading something that said the drugs business in the SE & London was now mainly controlled by Albanians,  but that they didn't venture oop north....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 July, 2020, 12:08:59 am
A simple mask is just old hat.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/leave-alone-go-shops-says-4325541
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 27 July, 2020, 12:32:26 pm
Oh I say!  Nice gaff!     https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/51322369


It's not quite what I'd usually think of as a terrace though......
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 27 July, 2020, 01:15:27 pm
Oh I say!  Nice gaff!     https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/51322369


It's not quite what I'd usually think of as a terrace though......

I like the stairs and the big kitchen... Bit big for just me tho... Also in the wrong country... But year, interesting gaff!

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 27 July, 2020, 01:31:12 pm
Handy for NCN810 as well.  https://www.sustrans.org.uk/find-a-route-on-the-national-cycle-network/route-810/   


I'd check sea level rise predictions before putting a deposit down though....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 11 August, 2020, 10:59:14 am
Rebels abound in Tory heartland.

https://www.wscountytimes.co.uk/news/people/prankster-spells-out-rude-message-boris-johnson-horsham-town-centre-store-2938610 (https://www.wscountytimes.co.uk/news/people/prankster-spells-out-rude-message-boris-johnson-horsham-town-centre-store-2938610)
(https://www.wscountytimes.co.uk/webimg/T0FLMTI0OTEyMTgx.jpg?&width=640)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 August, 2020, 11:43:23 am
Rebels abound in Tory heartland.

https://www.wscountytimes.co.uk/news/people/prankster-spells-out-rude-message-boris-johnson-horsham-town-centre-store-2938610 (https://www.wscountytimes.co.uk/news/people/prankster-spells-out-rude-message-boris-johnson-horsham-town-centre-store-2938610)
(https://www.wscountytimes.co.uk/webimg/T0FLMTI0OTEyMTgx.jpg?&width=640)

This Unit hereby endorses this product, service or sentiment.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 11 August, 2020, 05:09:05 pm
D's brother lives in Horsham...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 18 August, 2020, 10:15:54 am
Not the sort of news you'd expect from Nottinghamshire...


Quote
Penguin waddling in Broxtowe picked up by police

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-53798757
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 18 August, 2020, 02:18:25 pm
Not the sort of news you'd expect from Nottinghamshire...


Quote
Penguin waddling in Broxtowe picked up by police

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-53798757

On what offense...

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 August, 2020, 02:20:08 pm
Not the sort of news you'd expect from Nottinghamshire...


Quote
Penguin waddling in Broxtowe picked up by police

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-53798757

On what offense...

They thought it was a swan.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: RichForrest on 18 August, 2020, 03:12:10 pm
Not the sort of news you'd expect from Nottinghamshire...


Quote
Penguin waddling in Broxtowe picked up by police

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-53798757

On what offense...

J

Being black, That's usually enough.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 19 August, 2020, 12:00:59 am
Not the sort of news you'd expect from Nottinghamshire...


Quote
Penguin waddling in Broxtowe picked up by police

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-53798757

On what offense...

J

Maybe it was waddling in a loud shirt with an offensive wife.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 19 August, 2020, 08:01:45 am
Do we have a "Motorised Lunatics" thread?


Quote
A man who set a land speed record with a motorised shed believes he has set a new record by travelling at 44.6mph (77kph) behind a wheelbarrow.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-53809435

The shed's pretty cool, too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 August, 2020, 08:26:38 am
Quote
Mr Nicks said plans for his next invention were "really bonkers" but he has not disclosed the details yet.
He'd fit in well here...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wobbly John on 19 August, 2020, 04:46:37 pm

Quote
Penguin waddling in Broxtowe P, P, P, picked up by police

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-53798757
FTFY...  ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 20 August, 2020, 11:27:20 pm
IndyRef2 happened and I missed it  ::-)

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/50248856513_c886a53ed8_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2jyjwp4)
grauniad (https://flic.kr/p/2jyjwp4) by The Pingus (https://www.flickr.com/photos/the_pingus/), on Flickr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 23 August, 2020, 10:42:08 am

Burger van go boom...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-53879871

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 August, 2020, 03:23:22 pm
(https://i2-prod.bristolpost.co.uk/incoming/article4455359.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/0_paper-bag-man.jpg)
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/man-a37-wearing-paper-bag-4455442

Good, but not quite as wild as the shed man (see a page or two back).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 04 September, 2020, 09:52:14 pm
Not a rowie.

50-tonne roll (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-54025080)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 September, 2020, 05:24:46 pm
Nuclear submarine secretly based underneath M32 in Bristol. Or something.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/watch-moment-unmarked-nuclear-convoy-4510383
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 13 September, 2020, 09:26:06 pm
https://www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/56133534?search_identifier=1a849372718a5758be0ce8ea1596f80a


Another nice place, with a bit of history.   Can we do a forum group buy & turn it into a cycling based commune....?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: toontra on 16 September, 2020, 11:19:23 am
Pothole on Angus road "ruins short break".

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/angus-mearns/1578307/renfrewshire-couple-may-never-return-to-angus-after-pothole-ruins-fantastic-trip/ (https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/angus-mearns/1578307/renfrewshire-couple-may-never-return-to-angus-after-pothole-ruins-fantastic-trip/)

 ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 16 September, 2020, 11:35:52 am
Pothole on Angus road "ruins short break".

https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/angus-mearns/1578307/renfrewshire-couple-may-never-return-to-angus-after-pothole-ruins-fantastic-trip/ (https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/angus-mearns/1578307/renfrewshire-couple-may-never-return-to-angus-after-pothole-ruins-fantastic-trip/)

 ::-)

Id be pissed off too if my claim for tyre in that circumstance was turned down.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 16 September, 2020, 11:45:16 am
For the picture (top points for that), it's a teeny shallow pothole by the road verge. Even in Surrey, we have potholes so deep that driving into them qualifies as an expedition.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 September, 2020, 11:47:38 am
It's heart shaped. This couple have lost all their romance not to notice that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 16 September, 2020, 11:59:01 am
In the article, he admits having form for destroying tyres in potholes.

You'd think he might try something radical, like 'looking where you're going', and 'not driving into potholes'.

It's not like it's in a difficult-to-avoid place; it's right in at the verge!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 16 September, 2020, 12:01:57 pm
I think the council correctly deduced that he was trying it on.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 16 September, 2020, 12:14:10 pm
You'd think he might try something radical, like 'looking where you're going', and 'not driving into potholes'.

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 16 September, 2020, 12:28:14 pm
In the article, he admits having form for destroying tyres in potholes.

You'd think he might try something radical, like 'looking where you're going', and 'not driving into potholes'.

One also wonders what the 'vehicle' might be...  Something expensive with rock-hard suspension and impractically fashionable tyres, by any chance?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 September, 2020, 12:56:48 pm
Many years ago there was a long-term “pothole” outside our offices in SE1 with the approximate footprint of a Routemaster bus. Late one night a motoring journo dropped a Delta Integrale into it, blew all four tyres and trashed three wheels.  The hole was repaired the next day…
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: toontra on 16 September, 2020, 02:03:52 pm
The aspects that struck me were:

a) it ruined an otherwise great holiday so they won't be returning to that part of the country  ::-)

b) the "story" made it into the Courier - where I live death by stabbing doesn't guarantee a mention in the local rag
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 17 September, 2020, 07:17:45 am
Anyone want a pirate ship?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-gloucestershire-54163272
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 September, 2020, 11:22:31 am
Quote
He stores it in his summer house to prevent it getting wet,
:D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 September, 2020, 12:30:01 am
Remember when Sajid Javid used to boast about his youth in the gangs of the Easton are of Bristol? Easton's a rough, tough neighbourhood, and now the gangs have developed a new, ruthless weapon, with which they're going to take on London, Birmingham, New York and Palermo. It's a plank of wood about 2 metres long, and taped to the end of it is a 12" kitchen knife dipped in novichok.

Oh, I got that wrong. It's not a knife, it's a fork. A plastic fork. Perhaps it's a socially distanced spork for campers?
Here you see two ruthless gangsters with the lethal weapon:
(https://i2-prod.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/article4531953.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/0_received_1213050122407272jpeg.jpg)
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/men-find-very-long-fork-4531923
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 30 September, 2020, 05:02:09 pm
Quote
FIREFIGHTERS have rescued a woman after she became stuck - inside a tumble dryer.

Humberside Fire & Rescue Service said the woman was released uninjured from the equipment in the incident, which happened in Beresford Avenue, Hull, last night, adding: "Advice given."

A spokeswoman told The Press that the tumble dryer was not in a launderette but a private residence, and there was no information available as to how large it was or how the woman got inside it.

https://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/18759135.woman-stuck-inside-tumble-dryer-rescued-firefighters/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 30 September, 2020, 09:09:43 pm
What a wanker........   https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/ex-marine-performed-sex-act-19026485
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 01 October, 2020, 08:12:12 pm
https://www.scotsman.com/news/crime/coronavirus-scotland-dine-and-dash-pair-caught-after-leaving-track-and-trace-details-2989946



Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 October, 2020, 11:46:05 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/boy-5-trapped-himself-handcuffs-4574961
Quote
The tweet - which ended with the hashtag #playtime and #copsandrobbers# added: "If you keep handcuffs in the house, keep hidden from children and remember where the key is."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on 19 October, 2020, 04:01:13 pm
Eastbourne College unveils new school uniform


The new look seeks to celebrate the College as a modern, connected school; mindful of the saying that 'Eastbournians are good people that others want to be with.' A more relaxed and sophisticated look (crisp clean and sassy), mindful of the concept of 'blue health' and the school's motto Ex Oriente Salus (health from the East). Although more relaxed, the uniform seeks to be gently stylish while remaining true to the College character; classic and timeless more than fashionable, respecting College values, tradition and heritage. It aims to be a little different and distinctive with references to the colour of the sea and the nearby South Downs, and connected to Eastbourne as a touristic seaside, and sporty/outdoors destination.


(wins a Private Eye 'Pseuds' Corner' nomination!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 October, 2020, 06:31:18 pm
There are people living in Eastbourne who are young enough to attend skool?  Wowsa!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on 19 October, 2020, 09:36:22 pm
Eastbourne used to be a good source of low mileage Vanden Plas 1300s, all fitted with the optional bifocal windscreen.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 19 October, 2020, 09:37:11 pm
There are people living in Eastbourne who are young enough to attend skool?  Wowsa!


Mrs E was in the first intake of girls at said school; she was a boarder, so probably not a real resident.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ashaman42 on 19 October, 2020, 09:56:01 pm
Oi! We're not all oldies down here!!

:D

I mean I was born middle aged but that's another matter.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 20 October, 2020, 10:30:37 pm
Everything I know about Eastbourne I learnt from Kevin Coyne.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 October, 2020, 09:02:38 pm
Quote
A man who tried to rob a petrol station found himself locked in and was forced to wait for police to come and arrest him.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/would-robbers-luck-ran-out-4632155
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 30 October, 2020, 04:05:33 pm
Taking a leek in Furryboottoon (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-54746440)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 30 October, 2020, 04:36:53 pm
What to do in Stockport. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-manchester-52394530)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 October, 2020, 09:27:00 pm
What to do in Stockport. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-manchester-52394530)

To be fair, the hat museum's been closed.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 30 October, 2020, 09:38:23 pm
Stockport was once a very interesting place to visit being a Roman town with higgeldy piggeldy streets and shopping emporia of hugely diverse kinds. Then they built a shopping centre, put a bloody great motorway through the middle and killed it. YMMV.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 October, 2020, 09:41:53 pm
Barakta will no doubt be along in due course with tales of growing up being tormented by the resident scallies...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 31 October, 2020, 08:40:37 am
Taking a leek in Furryboottoon (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-54746440)
Police stop man who's wearing a mask - gonna be busy, they am!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 31 October, 2020, 06:23:21 pm
Essex firefighters rescue three men from tumble dryer (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-54760265)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 November, 2020, 08:25:18 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/18836802.screens-put-empty-debenhams-store-mannequins-caught-having-sex/

Excellent stuff.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on 01 November, 2020, 11:24:25 am
They failed to label the manikins as "government" and "country" though.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 03 November, 2020, 11:26:44 am
Railway bridge gets stuck in mud  https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-54781258
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 03 November, 2020, 02:28:29 pm
Not Provincial ,   but we don't have a special topic for laughing at super rich London dwellers.


https://metro.co.uk/2020/11/03/two-houses-in-chelsea-collapse-during-basement-conversion-as-40-evacuated-13526342/



Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 03 November, 2020, 03:20:40 pm
Taking a leek in Furryboottoon (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-54746440)


A Scot not recognising a vegetable....   whooda thunk it, eh?    :demon:


 :-*
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 13 November, 2020, 07:37:32 am
It is 'freeman of the land' bingo!
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/salon-owner-facing-bigger-punishment-19263012?fbclid=IwAR1MbWO2xpCOpMFt2jl5zUde4mx3lAOWcrFtzHIgH9-URxot2p2fJJgEaYE (https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/salon-owner-facing-bigger-punishment-19263012?fbclid=IwAR1MbWO2xpCOpMFt2jl5zUde4mx3lAOWcrFtzHIgH9-URxot2p2fJJgEaYE)

Quote
You're speaking to my fictitious character. I am a living woman and I don't consent to any fines. I'm not entering into any contract with you or the police."

 ::-) :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 13 November, 2020, 07:54:39 am
Taking a leek in Furryboottoon (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-54746440)


A Scot not recognising a vegetable....   whooda thunk it, eh?    :demon:


 :-*

I seem to recall an incident where the Met killed a Scot who was carrying a table leg.  :demon: :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 November, 2020, 11:16:59 am
Taking a leek in Furryboottoon (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-54746440)


A Scot not recognising a vegetable....   whooda thunk it, eh?    :demon:


 :-*

I seem to recall an incident where the Met killed a Scot who was carrying a table leg.  :demon: :demon:

Harry Stanley (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Harry_Stanley).  A member of the public called the polis to report “an Irishman carrying a gun”  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 November, 2020, 07:38:05 pm
It is 'freeman of the land' bingo!
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/salon-owner-facing-bigger-punishment-19263012?fbclid=IwAR1MbWO2xpCOpMFt2jl5zUde4mx3lAOWcrFtzHIgH9-URxot2p2fJJgEaYE (https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/salon-owner-facing-bigger-punishment-19263012?fbclid=IwAR1MbWO2xpCOpMFt2jl5zUde4mx3lAOWcrFtzHIgH9-URxot2p2fJJgEaYE)

Quote
You're speaking to my fictitious character. I am a living woman and I don't consent to any fines. I'm not entering into any contract with you or the police."

 ::-) :facepalm:
They're all using this "fictitious character" line. If only they were fictitious.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 November, 2020, 07:39:08 pm
Jurek, look away now.
Quote
A hand-reared squirrel wearing a blue harness is on the loose in Bristol, leaving its adoptive human family "heartbroken".
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bristol-familys-frantic-search-escaped-4712665
(https://i2-prod.bristolpost.co.uk/incoming/article4712727.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/0_squirrel.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Poacher on 18 November, 2020, 08:07:36 pm
It is 'freeman of the land' bingo!
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/salon-owner-facing-bigger-punishment-19263012?fbclid=IwAR1MbWO2xpCOpMFt2jl5zUde4mx3lAOWcrFtzHIgH9-URxot2p2fJJgEaYE (https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/salon-owner-facing-bigger-punishment-19263012?fbclid=IwAR1MbWO2xpCOpMFt2jl5zUde4mx3lAOWcrFtzHIgH9-URxot2p2fJJgEaYE)

Quote
You're speaking to my fictitious character. I am a living woman and I don't consent to any fines. I'm not entering into any contract with you or the police."

 ::-) :facepalm:
They're all using this "fictitious character" line. If only they were fictitious.
A Christian bookshop near me (The Mustard Seed, Gedling) has now racked up £17000 of fines using this Magna Carta nonsense.
A common theme seems to be the printed notice in the window which contains the line "I am a living persons..."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 19 November, 2020, 10:53:47 am
Quote
Dozy dormouse gets stuck in garden bird feeder on the Isle of Wight

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-h ... e-54992101
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 November, 2020, 04:43:45 pm
People 'dumbfounded' at seeing boat in docks. (https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/bridge-quay-residents-blast-council-for-moving-barge-outside-their-homes/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 November, 2020, 10:20:09 pm
https://www.itv.com/news/westcountry/2020-11-23/swans-at-bath-spa-station-cause-havoc-for-gwr-workers
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 November, 2020, 10:03:09 am
Headline: MAN YOU MIGHT NOT HAVE HEARD OF TO RETIRE FROM JOB YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW EXISTS
https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/man-you-might-not-have-heard-of-to-retire-from-job-you-might-not-know-exists/
Too long, didn't click – it's the metro mayor.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 24 November, 2020, 04:04:08 pm

£17000 in fines, and trying to hide behind magna carta. There's a certain amount of schadenfreude, but also i kinda feel sorry for them, they've basically been scammed.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-55057700

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 November, 2020, 06:33:55 pm
Sympathy level: Ketchup drips out of hamberder onto TЯump's tie.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 28 November, 2020, 12:08:06 pm


https://huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/police-investigate-kent-toilet-of-england-signs_uk_5fc22fefc5b63d1b770c5d3a


J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 08 December, 2020, 06:04:59 pm
Tattoo!!!

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/council-take-legal-action-against-4777995

or not...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 December, 2020, 06:20:03 pm
Tattoo!!!

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/council-take-legal-action-against-4777995

or not...
Just tatt, no oo. Have you looked in his shop window?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 December, 2020, 10:50:14 pm
Garden police send certificate by first class post. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/couple-give-worst-kerb-award-4786770)
(https://i2-prod.bristolpost.co.uk/incoming/article4786739.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/130978799_4236956622986309_942488445272660126_o.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vernon on 12 December, 2020, 10:56:31 pm
That's so got to be framed and pinned to a mattress in the front garden.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Clare on 13 December, 2020, 02:10:23 pm
Time for some creative topiary methinks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 13 December, 2020, 05:24:06 pm
Garden police send certificate by first class post. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/couple-give-worst-kerb-award-4786770)
(https://i2-prod.bristolpost.co.uk/incoming/article4786739.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/130978799_4236956622986309_942488445272660126_o.jpg)

Quote from: Jackie Brown*
Ordell Robbie: Comic Sans, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to go passive-aggressive on a neighbour, accept no substitutes.


* May contain traces of LIE.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 13 December, 2020, 05:54:26 pm
The Comic Sans was the first thing I noticed.
At which point I elected to give this nothing further of my time.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 18 December, 2020, 04:30:56 pm
https://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/18952284.chesham-bois-e-fit-released-man-exposes/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on 20 December, 2020, 03:43:58 pm
Pulls up a hand grenade when magnet fishing, when he realises what it is, throws it to one side and carries on to find another 18 before ringing the police  ::-)

https://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/fisherman-finds-19-hand-grenades-19489506 (https://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/coventry-news/fisherman-finds-19-hand-grenades-19489506)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 December, 2020, 05:08:35 pm
Quote
"After that I was hoping to find a gun or something, but that's what I found, so I called 101."
Naive or shameless!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 December, 2020, 06:55:36 pm
Safe grenade?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Moleman76 on 22 December, 2020, 12:35:03 am
in the redder-necked parts of USAnia, fishing with a "DuPont Lure" [1] used to be done.   After deploying said lure, go out in boat and scoop fish off the surface.

[1] named for a major dynamite maker
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 22 December, 2020, 12:58:38 pm
Safe grenade?

Given the quickest and easiest method that ordnance disposal folk prefer to use for rendering old munitions into a safe form, even more fool the angler for not specifying that the keepsake had to be intact...  :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: CarlF on 22 December, 2020, 02:09:49 pm
Safe grenade?

Blowing Bloody Doors Off, for the use of.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 22 December, 2020, 06:53:57 pm
According to the Independent, he took them home in a shopping bag, before his facebook friends suggested he should call the police.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/birmingham-river-grenades-found-bomb-disposal-b1777636.html

Quote
He added: “The bomb squad x-rayed them and said they were safe. They’ve said they are going to dispose of them and I won’t be getting them back. It’s disappointing really because I was told they are from World War Two and I could get £150 for them.”
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 December, 2020, 07:51:38 pm
I heard from several people in Poland that when the redoubtable Red Army tired of the thanklessness of the Polish people and retired from their task of protecting said people from the evils of capitalism, all sorts of military hardware became available at bargain prices if you asked the right market trader among the potatoes and beetroots. Fishing by grenade became a popular pastime for a while.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: graculus on 22 December, 2020, 07:55:37 pm
https://www.expressandstar.com/news/local-hubs/dudley/brierley-hill/2020/12/22/suspicious-behaviour-in-brierley-hill-turns-out-to-be-men-walking-pet-owl/ (https://www.expressandstar.com/news/local-hubs/dudley/brierley-hill/2020/12/22/suspicious-behaviour-in-brierley-hill-turns-out-to-be-men-walking-pet-owl/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 December, 2020, 02:21:01 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/18968957.carrie-fielding-melksham-received-grinch-christmas-card-failing-put-festive-lights/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 December, 2020, 08:33:39 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/18968957.carrie-fielding-melksham-received-grinch-christmas-card-failing-put-festive-lights/
Merriness nazis!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 08 January, 2021, 04:03:53 pm

Body in field turns out to be... a potatoe with a mushroom growing next to it...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-55585065

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 09 January, 2021, 04:42:49 pm
https://www.abarnett.co.uk/property-details/rps_arm-BUR200111/    Very nice if you've got the dosh , but 7 floors & no lift...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 January, 2021, 05:54:46 pm
No need for a lift, it's got a big garage door to keep your bikes in.  :D If it still had its sails, you could generate your own electricity.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 January, 2021, 01:17:35 pm
Meanwhile, in Kent: https://www.kentonline.co.uk/folkestone/news/weird-humming-noise-plagues-rural-towns-240498/

(A recording of the noise is conspicuously absent.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 10 January, 2021, 01:20:32 pm
It's all those stranded truck drivers passing the time with their battery powered sex arses.....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 January, 2021, 01:25:07 pm
Meanwhile, in Kent: https://www.kentonline.co.uk/folkestone/news/weird-humming-noise-plagues-rural-towns-240498/

(A recording of the noise is conspicuously absent.)
It probably sounds like this: https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/what-bristol-hum-sounds-looks-1646478
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 10 January, 2021, 01:32:58 pm
Meanwhile, in Kent: https://www.kentonline.co.uk/folkestone/news/weird-humming-noise-plagues-rural-towns-240498/

(A recording of the noise is conspicuously absent.)
It probably sounds like this: https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/what-bristol-hum-sounds-looks-1646478

Complete with rhythm section. Impressive.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 January, 2021, 01:42:09 pm
Now I'm wondering if every region has a mystery hum...

*googles*

Yeah, pretty much, especially those with REACH newspapers:

https://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/derby-news/chellaston-derby-mystery-humming-noise-3355111

https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/mysterious-humming-noise-driving-people-19401009

https://www.gazetteandherald.co.uk/news/15996481.mysterious-humming-noise-drives-pair-house/

Just to be different:  https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/black-country/mysterious-ringing-noise-dudley-sending-17176097


Our local mystery noise is a BIP! of the type made by smoke alarms with a low battery at 5am, except it's 24/7 and louder outdoors (though comes and goes with the wind direction).  My solution to this has been to invest in a fire alarm system that can report battery status in a more definitive way, and to ignore it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 10 January, 2021, 01:48:27 pm
You are surely not accusing a reputable organisation like  REACH newspapers of re-cycling or making up stories.... https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/loud-buzzing-sound-kept-people-17391880   :jurek:


I can hear a hum from my flat , but it's the factory up the road. https://www.renshawbaking.com/gb/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 January, 2021, 01:54:17 pm
"The mysterious [HUM/BUZZ/RINGING/BEEP] which has plagued [YOUR TOWN HERE] since [YEAR OR DECADE HERE]... "
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 January, 2021, 02:03:21 pm
"The mysterious [HUM/BUZZ/RINGING/BEEP] which has plagued [YOUR TOWN HERE] since [YEAR OR DECADE HERE]... "

"...residents suspect it may be related to [NEW TECHNOLOGY LESS THAN 5 YEARS OLD]."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 January, 2021, 02:28:38 pm
I've just realised that Beast Quest books (if you know, you'll know, and if you don't, you don't want to) must have been written by Reach journos. Or do I mean Reach media is written by the "authors" of Beast Quest books?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 10 January, 2021, 02:29:16 pm
See also "pongs & smells" https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/horrendous-smell-reported-over-parts-16840843 (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/horrendous-smell-reported-over-parts-16840843)      though there are a couple of parts of Merseyside I'd never think of buying a home in for that reason ,  NCN62 runs past the still working Granox rendering plant & the smell would make you heave.  http://www.trucknetuk.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=41701&start=210#p720887 (http://www.trucknetuk.com/phpBB/viewtopic.php?t=41701&start=210#p720887)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on 10 January, 2021, 06:05:11 pm
It's probably just the 5g warming up ;D :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 January, 2021, 07:42:15 pm
This story was linked from the foul & mysterious odour one: https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/cd-rack-lit-up-fairy-16840598
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 10 January, 2021, 07:47:45 pm
 :jurek:   "Over the water" ,  they're different.......    Some of them even think they're in Cheshire.....



Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 January, 2021, 07:56:04 pm
 :thumbsup: to the residents of Pallatine Road for trying to make a "playing out street". Maybe next time they'll do it properly...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 January, 2021, 07:57:29 pm
:jurek:   "Over the water" ,  they're different.......    Some of them even think they're in Cheshire.....

You'd think proper Scousers would know a thing or two about immobilising vehicles.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 January, 2021, 12:04:18 pm
O buoy! Ball warns of weedy Walsall water risk (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-55619980)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 January, 2021, 12:20:19 pm
Quote
Two cars are also known to have driven into the water by mistake.
Those silly cars should have listened to their drivers.

Great headline though!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 January, 2021, 03:38:04 pm
Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever Quasimodo can (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/local-news/man-climbs-onto-roof-bath-4880629)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 18 January, 2021, 03:44:43 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-55707197


Swanning around...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 January, 2021, 04:11:17 pm
Quote
A mum was left with chemical burns after she accidentally ate a handful of mini fireworks she thought were popping candy.

Lisa Boothroyd, 48, claims she found the multicoloured box of Fun Snaps among the lollipops in Costcutter when she was buying snacks for her and her neighbours.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/mum-burns-broken-tooth-after-4898715
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 20 January, 2021, 11:08:04 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-55707197


Swanning around...

I suspect fowl play.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 January, 2021, 11:50:53 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-55707197


Swanning around...

I suspect fowl play.

Stop ducking the issue, you silly goose!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 21 January, 2021, 07:31:46 am
Down but not out.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 21 January, 2021, 08:45:01 am
One blow of its wing...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SoreTween on 21 January, 2021, 11:18:48 am
Not quite sure how to describe this, I think perhaps:

Rabid frothing at the mouth nimbyism leads to posting of sensible responses on local rag web site shocker. (https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/fears-new-6km-forest-dean-4871345)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2021, 11:33:15 am
Quote
"Visitors came from as far afield a Tewkesbury and Cirencester
That's almost intercontinental travel, that is!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 21 January, 2021, 11:50:30 am
I'll have to find somewhere else to take naked selfies.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 21 January, 2021, 02:26:18 pm
One blow of its wing...
Well - what does happen when you blow a swan's wing?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 21 January, 2021, 03:51:01 pm
Not quite sure how to describe this, I think perhaps:

Rabid frothing at the mouth nimbyism leads to posting of sensible responses on local rag web site shocker. (https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/fears-new-6km-forest-dean-4871345)


There was a similar torrent of bullshit over a plan to convert an old railway line in the Vale of Clwyd. It was alleged that burglars would be the main users of the path...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 21 January, 2021, 04:45:17 pm
Quote
A mum was left with chemical burns after she accidentally ate a handful of mini fireworks she thought were popping candy.

Lisa Boothroyd, 48, claims she found the multicoloured box of Fun Snaps among the lollipops in Costcutter when she was buying snacks for her and her neighbours.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/mum-burns-broken-tooth-after-4898715

There are some brilliant lines in that piece, but one absolute winner:

"I just keep thinking what could have happened if I’d given them to a child - they could’ve blown her mouth apart."

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 January, 2021, 05:14:28 pm
One blow of its wing...
Well - what does happen when you blow a swan's wing?

It breaks your arm.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 January, 2021, 06:21:19 pm
One blow of its wing...
Well - what does happen when you blow a swan's wing?

It goes into a flat spin and crashes.  And then breaks your arm.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2021, 08:06:27 pm
One blow of its wing...
Well - what does happen when you blow a swan's wing?

It goes into a flat spin and crashes.  And then breaks your arm.
And then you get locked up in the Tower pending your head-dechopment. Causing a swan to crash is TREASON against HMtheQ!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 January, 2021, 08:35:47 pm
One blow of its wing...
Well - what does happen when you blow a swan's wing?

It goes into a flat spin and crashes.  And then breaks your arm.
And then you get locked up in the Tower pending your head-dechopment. Causing a swan to crash is TREASON against HMtheQ!

Does that apply to all swans found in BRITAIN or just the non-migratory ones?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2021, 08:55:36 pm
Quote
The only two companies that still observe the tradition of owning swans on the Thames are the Worshipful Companies of Vintners and Dyers. The Royal swans are no longer marked, but an unmarked mute swan on the Thames is regarded as belonging to the Queen by default. The Queen still maintains an officially-appointed Swan Keeper, and the ceremony still takes place on the Monday of the third week in July.

The Queen has a prerogative over all swans in England and Wales. The Swan Keeper also despatches swans all over the world, sent as gifts in the Queens name.
https://www.rspb.org.uk/birds-and-wildlife/wildlife-guides/bird-a-z/mute-swan/swans-and-humans

With this brexit they have now, she has of course taken back control of all swans in all countries that used to be pink on the map.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 January, 2021, 09:03:59 pm
One blow of its wing...
Well - what does happen when you blow a swan's wing?

It goes into a flat spin and crashes.  And then breaks your arm.
And then you get locked up in the Tower pending your head-dechopment. Causing a swan to crash is TREASON against HMtheQ!

Does that apply to all swans found in BRITAIN or just the non-migratory ones?

Asking for a friend, are you?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 January, 2021, 12:29:56 am
One blow of its wing...
Well - what does happen when you blow a swan's wing?

It goes into a flat spin and crashes.  And then breaks your arm.
And then you get locked up in the Tower pending your head-dechopment. Causing a swan to crash is TREASON against HMtheQ!

Does that apply to all swans found in BRITAIN or just the non-migratory ones?

Asking for a friend, are you?

Roast swan is a regular main course for Sunday luncheon chez Poulidor-Featherstonehaugh.  No-one wants Bethany (10) to be incarcerated for scoffing Missis Kwin's swans; she's in quite enough trouble as it is.

EO Aquitaine:I don’t mind.  They’re just fukn big ducks, innit!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 22 January, 2021, 07:28:32 am
One blow of its wing...
Well - what does happen when you blow a swan's wing?

It goes into a flat spin and crashes.  And then breaks your arm.
And then you get locked up in the Tower pending your head-dechopment. Causing a swan to crash is TREASON against HMtheQ!

Does that apply to all swans found in BRITAIN or just the non-migratory ones?

Only unmarked mute swans in England and Wales.  Doesn't apply to swans in Scotland or Northern Ireland, or those owned/marked by the other three permitted owners.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 22 January, 2021, 11:29:10 am
Covid-19 cancels competition for tossers.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-55752712
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 22 January, 2021, 01:27:05 pm
Covid-19 cancels competition for tossers.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-55752712

Biscuits? They look like scones to me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 22 January, 2021, 01:47:42 pm
Covid-19 cancels competition for tossers.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-55752712

Biscuits? They look like scones to me.


Proper Dorset Knobs aren't actually biscuits as they are thrice baked.

Good for little more than acting as anchors for model boats or flogging to gullible tourists.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 22 January, 2021, 02:11:08 pm
Covid-19 cancels competition for tossers.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-55752712

Biscuits? They look like scones to me.


Proper Dorset Knobs aren't actually biscuits as they are thrice baked.

Good for little more than acting as anchors for model boats or flogging to gullible tourists.

Triscuits then.  They look as if they'd make good sling ammo.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 24 January, 2021, 10:37:44 am
I considered this one for the 'motorised morons' thread, but it IS East Grinstead, that beacon of rational thought
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/foodanddrink/news/mcdonald-s-customer-called-police-after-showing-up-too-late-for-drive-thru-breakfast/ar-BB1d2rOX?ocid=msedgntp
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 24 January, 2021, 12:49:43 pm
I considered this one for the 'motorised morons' thread, but it IS East Grinstead, that beacon of rational thought
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/foodanddrink/news/mcdonald-s-customer-called-police-after-showing-up-too-late-for-drive-thru-breakfast/ar-BB1d2rOX?ocid=msedgntp

They were obviously in motorised moron reporting mode for that one:

Quote
An angry McDonald’s called the police after arriving too late for a drive-thru breakfast at a branch in West Sussex.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 30 January, 2021, 10:43:28 pm
https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/plymouth-cat-lady-quits-job-4948719
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 January, 2021, 01:15:52 am
You can't have someone else's cake and eat it (with a spoon): https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/19050764.cheesecake-burglar-jason-stratford-left-spoon-cirencester/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 03 February, 2021, 06:41:36 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19058202.swindon-town-court-case-interrupted-people-showing-pornography/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 07 February, 2021, 09:33:07 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19071290.200-covid-fines-police-find-swindon-pair-beauty-spot-car-park/

"Cod Liver Oil"'s comment beneath the story  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 07 February, 2021, 10:55:58 am
Woof
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 08 February, 2021, 12:37:32 pm
Sheep at illegal drinks party

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-55964154 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-55964154)

Police spokesman

"The obvious line is that the wool wasn't pulled over our eyes."

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 February, 2021, 11:41:53 pm
I suppose it’s one way to avoid the queue at Schipol....


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/drug-smugglers-attempt-jet-ski-19853483 (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/drug-smugglers-attempt-jet-ski-19853483)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 February, 2021, 07:32:53 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/man-filmed-sitting-toilet-bristol-5011935
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 20 February, 2021, 03:29:56 pm
From Clydebank...man doesn't win the lottery (https://www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/euromillions-heartache-clydebank-man-misses-19878889).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 20 February, 2021, 05:21:32 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/man-filmed-sitting-toilet-bristol-5011935

From Clydebank...man doesn't win the lottery (https://www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/euromillions-heartache-clydebank-man-misses-19878889).

I think that makes Bristol officially more exciting.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 20 February, 2021, 06:10:12 pm
Pah, that’s nothing, I managed to miss £157 millions by 7 numbers. It takes great skill to avoid ALL the numbers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 February, 2021, 11:51:58 am
Thieves are using cable ties on lampposts to steal dogs! (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/police-respond-fears-cable-ties-5030595)
More an example of stupid hunger for outrage than actual provincial craziness.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 February, 2021, 06:25:05 pm
Thieves are using cable ties on lampposts to steal dogs! (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/police-respond-fears-cable-ties-5030595)
More an example of stupid hunger for outrage than actual provincial craziness.

Variation on the "civil engineering graffiti on the pavement is a sign that Pedobear is operating in your area" moral panic.  I'm sure people make these things up for the lols.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 February, 2021, 11:02:07 am
Pedobear? Last one I heard it was burglarious gypsies. It's hard to keep up with the scare times!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 23 February, 2021, 04:12:02 pm
Attending a dogging event does not constitute essential travel.

https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/19109815.police-urge-people-not-attend-dogging-event-canvey/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 23 February, 2021, 04:16:28 pm
Attending a dogging event does not constitute essential travel.

https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/19109815.police-urge-people-not-attend-dogging-event-canvey/
Canvey Island is a fair trek from Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 February, 2021, 04:37:38 pm
Canvey Island and Swindon. Separated by distance.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 February, 2021, 06:03:35 pm
Mayor Marvin mugs boy for bike in Bristol playground! SHOCK!
(https://www.bristol247.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Marvin-Rees-and-St-George-Primary-School-children.jpg)
The bloke on a kid's bike is Bristol's mayor, Marvin Rees (endangering his mayoral brain by stunt cycling without a helmet! shockhorror!) and presumably the only kid on foot is shouting in anger "Hey mister, bring my bike back!"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 27 February, 2021, 12:38:19 am
I do not believe we have had this one.ll

https://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/crime/edinburgh-woman-bit-off-mans-tongue-in-street-brawl-before-seagull-swooped-down-and-ate-it-3141625
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 03 March, 2021, 05:26:46 pm
Storrington's slabs stolen!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56268078 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56268078)

Partner's brother's in-laws live there. Hope they don't fall/get muddy.

I have asked the Paving Slab Fairy if she ran short of slabs but she lives in France now...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2021, 05:28:01 pm
Storrington's slabs stolen!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56268078 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56268078)

They've muddled up the plugs on that rapid charger too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: graculus on 08 March, 2021, 08:35:51 am
Lions, tigers and bears camels, O My:

https://www.expressandstar.com/news/local-hubs/staffordshire/cannock/2021/03/08/lions-in-cannock-camels-in-stafford-and-monkeys-in-the-black-country-regions-exotic-pets-revealed/ (https://www.expressandstar.com/news/local-hubs/staffordshire/cannock/2021/03/08/lions-in-cannock-camels-in-stafford-and-monkeys-in-the-black-country-regions-exotic-pets-revealed/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 March, 2021, 08:56:08 am
Storrington's slabs stolen!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56268078 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56268078)

Partner's brother's in-laws live there. Hope they don't fall/get muddy.

I have asked the Paving Slab Fairy if she ran short of slabs but she lives in France now...
Similar happened a few years ago about two streets from here. I don't know who the Paving Slab Fairy is but she must have quite an appetite.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 March, 2021, 11:52:57 am
Storrington's slabs stolen!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56268078 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-56268078)

Partner's brother's in-laws live there. Hope they don't fall/get muddy.

I have asked the Paving Slab Fairy if she ran short of slabs but she lives in France now...
Similar happened a few years ago about two streets from here. I don't know who the Paving Slab Fairy is but she must have quite an appetite.

She doesn't eat them so much as dish them out as punishment...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 09 March, 2021, 09:12:59 am
Quote
A primary school is welcoming back its pupils with a special assembly - consisting entirely of teddy bears.

More than 500 well-behaved toys were filmed sitting in the hall at Thrapston Primary School in Northamptonshire.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-56293899
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: toontra on 09 March, 2021, 10:51:57 pm
Man's parking nightmare: https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/local-news/bath-mans-weekend-parking-nightmare-5084322 (https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/local-news/bath-mans-weekend-parking-nightmare-5084322)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 10 March, 2021, 12:20:45 am
(https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/853/721/9a7.png)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 10 March, 2021, 08:24:40 am
I note that a commenter managed to get in a whinge about a planned cycle scheme  ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 March, 2021, 08:46:48 am
That's a blooming long article for the tribulations of an entitled grinker.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on 10 March, 2021, 11:37:25 am
I note that a commenter managed to get in a whinge about a planned cycle scheme  ::-)

I did like the response to that which pointed out that the 4 parking spaces being removed to make way for the cycle lanes would be replaced by 45 new spaces.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 March, 2021, 01:52:39 pm
That's a blooming long article for the tribulations of an entitled grinker.
If it wasn't for people like Mr O'Hare, local journalists would have to find real news to write about.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 March, 2021, 09:31:56 am
BONG!!... People live in vans because they can't afford houses... (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bristol-van-dweller-says-living-5066366) BONG!!...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 March, 2021, 02:53:42 pm
BONG!!!... AAH-OOH! (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/wolf-seen-crossing-m5-lorry-5151938) BONG!!!...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 March, 2021, 02:57:00 pm
Hay-ulp! (https://hanna-barbera.fandom.com/wiki/It%27s_the_Wolf!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 March, 2021, 03:00:15 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19163639.daylight-saving-time-disrupts-balance-nature-says-swindon-campaigner/

Strangely, he's unemployed!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 March, 2021, 03:27:43 pm
Summer time, and the living ain't easy
The fish are dead
And the clocks are awry
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 17 March, 2021, 03:42:06 pm
Does the sun ever shine in Swindon?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 March, 2021, 03:46:16 pm
Only from my arse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 22 March, 2021, 08:33:39 am
A little news from my neck of the woods. Given that the last time Ipswich made the nationals, a yoof had shot someone, this is quite light hearted (unless you’re a dog owner).

Dog Nappers get nabbed.  (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/mar/21/police-arrest-six-as-83-dogs-are-seized-in-suffolk-after-pet-thefts?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 22 March, 2021, 09:29:32 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-56475660

Hmmm. Leicestershire...

I didn't know they had a [clears throat] branch of Ann Summers up that way. the yewf of today, how they pine for excitement, etc.

IHMCATTIW
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 March, 2021, 01:06:28 pm
Standard stag-night issue inflatable doll, by the look of the photo.  You can probably buy them from vending machines at mainline railway stations and all good branches of Weatherspoons.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 March, 2021, 08:02:24 am
I went to a stag do in the 90s where the stag had an inflatable sheep, apparently a reference to his Welsh ancestry.  Unfortunately, he overinflated it and it had a full vaginal (or rectal - hard to tell) prolapse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 March, 2021, 06:26:25 pm
Just sotp it! (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/mar/25/road-typo-stops-town-in-tracks-and-lightens-lockdown-in-rome) Sotp turning the Graun into the national representative of Reach media.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 29 March, 2021, 09:37:39 pm
Spotted on Twitter.  https://twitter.com/thebenoliver/status/1376491775729229831?s=20 (https://twitter.com/thebenoliver/status/1376491775729229831?s=20)     Google Streetview from an estate agents website leads to pics of an armed police op.


Sounds like a lively neighbourhood.....  :hand:


Edit. I checked & it's still visible on Streetview. 


https://www.google.com/maps/@51.0015141,-0.0868932,3a,75y,195.05h,74.6t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s3g45RawdbS71zPUKT-bjgA!2e0!7i13312!8i6656
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: JonBuoy on 29 March, 2021, 10:04:39 pm
Spotted on Twitter.  https://twitter.com/thebenoliver/status/1376491775729229831?s=20 (https://twitter.com/thebenoliver/status/1376491775729229831?s=20)     Google Streetview from an estate agents website leads to pics of an armed police op.


Sounds like a lively neighbourhood.....  :hand:


Edit. I checked & it's still visible on Streetview. 


https://www.google.com/maps/@51.0015141,-0.0868932,3a,75y,195.05h,74.6t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s3g45RawdbS71zPUKT-bjgA!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

America Lane.  How appropriate!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 29 March, 2021, 10:07:24 pm
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/104614352#/

Edit: and have a look up Barn Cottage Lane on the streetview too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 03 April, 2021, 07:56:43 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17579831.beware-wiltshire-beauty-spots-used-dogging/

Handy doggers' guide for when the weather warms up.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Hot Flatus on 03 April, 2021, 09:07:03 am
This is one of the immutable laws of the universe.

All local newspapers are obsessed with dogging.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Hot Flatus on 03 April, 2021, 09:08:47 am
Don't believe me? Just checked my local paper...what do I find on front page?  This...

https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/gloucestershire-beauty-spot-beset-revolting-5258981

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 03 April, 2021, 10:26:10 am
Well, the "stay local" rule has been relaxed, so I'm off up the A419.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Hot Flatus on 03 April, 2021, 10:29:13 am
Don't take the Jimny.

It'll narrow your options  ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: The_Mikey on 03 April, 2021, 04:41:23 pm
Does the sun ever shine in Swindon?

Sometimes but that usually only makes Swindon objectively worse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 08 April, 2021, 10:46:14 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/apr/08/chainsaw-massacre-surrey-police-hunt-phantom-lumberjack-along-river-thames

Special Branch are investigating.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 09 April, 2021, 12:26:56 am
Tonights Liverpool Echo"has an article about a chap being done for "dog & horse porn" next to one for something called "Farmaggedon".  Methinks someone's having a sly joke.


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 April, 2021, 12:58:25 am
Joke about the Dalai Farmer goes here ==>
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 14 April, 2021, 01:03:31 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/local-news/hugh-grant-spotted-somerset-town-5295411

Man buys food shock horror.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 14 April, 2021, 01:22:07 pm
Quote
The Four Weddings and a Funeral star was sighted in Frome yesterday (April 13), just days after participating in a virtual BAFTA awards ceremony in London.

That's quite a journey...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 April, 2021, 06:35:45 pm
Surrey cyclists describes himself as "amateur bikepacker" (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-56784396)

Fair.  His sellotaping-all-your-touring-stuff-to-random-bits-of-the-bike technique clearly needs work.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 22 April, 2021, 04:53:41 pm
https://twitter.com/itvanglia/status/1385211979426578433?s=20 (https://twitter.com/itvanglia/status/1385211979426578433?s=20)


Air ambulances unable to land at Addenbrooke's Hospital after helipad destroyed.


Edit:  https://www.pprune.org/military-aviation/640016-cv-22-incident-addenbrooke-hospital.html


Ooops !  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: TimC on 22 April, 2021, 05:58:55 pm
That's not a helipad. And no helicopter needs a 'pad' when there's perfectly good dry, hard grass available - as the CV-22 used. That planking was about as sturdy as your average festival tent.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 April, 2021, 06:32:32 pm
Just looks like a smooth surface for wheeling patients and equipment to and from the helicopter.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 April, 2021, 06:41:19 pm
It doesn't actually take off from the plastic sheeting or whatever it is, it's on the grass. So not a helipad. And not smooth anymore either.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 April, 2021, 09:50:31 am
Welcome to Mr Tesco's House of Toothy Comestibles. Literally. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bristol-woman-finds-serbian-tooth-5331834)
Quote
"It looks a bit like a mushroom anyway so I think I just missed it."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 April, 2021, 11:49:52 am
Surrey cyclists describes himself as "amateur bikepacker" (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-56784396)

Fair.  His sellotaping-all-your-touring-stuff-to-random-bits-of-the-bike technique clearly needs work.

Hang on.

In a time when travel is restricted due to disease, he's going to ride all around the country to raise awareness of another disease?

That trailer looks really uncomfortable to sleep in.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 April, 2021, 01:12:19 pm
Met a chap with a similar sleeping/luggage trailer in Teslin YT a couple of years ago.  He was walking the Alaska Highway :o And he was spending that night in a motel…
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 April, 2021, 02:27:22 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink/secret-cocktail-bar-disguised-bookshop-5341124
Quote
One of Bristol's best steak restaurants is launching a secret cocktail bar that will be disguised as an antique bookshop.
So you think there's a new bookshop, but then it turns out to be another cocktail bar. How disappointing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vernon on 27 April, 2021, 08:32:54 am
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink/secret-cocktail-bar-disguised-bookshop-5341124
Quote
One of Bristol's best steak restaurants is launching a secret cocktail bar that will be disguised as an antique bookshop.
So you think there's a new bookshop, but then it turns out to be another cocktail bar. How disappointing.

Whereas what we really want is a readeasy hidden out the back of a cocktail bar.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 April, 2021, 08:33:26 am
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink/secret-cocktail-bar-disguised-bookshop-5341124
Quote
One of Bristol's best steak restaurants is launching a secret cocktail bar that will be disguised as an antique bookshop.
So you think there's a new bookshop, but then it turns out to be another cocktail bar. How disappointing.

Whereas what we really want is a readeasy hidden out the back of a cocktail bar.
:thumbsup: ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 27 April, 2021, 09:32:24 am
Surrey cyclists describes himself as "amateur bikepacker" (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-56784396)

Fair.  His sellotaping-all-your-touring-stuff-to-random-bits-of-the-bike technique clearly needs work.

Hang on.

In a time when travel is restricted due to disease, he's going to ride all around the country to raise awareness of another disease?

That trailer looks really uncomfortable to sleep in.


Yebbut.... it's for charidee.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 29 April, 2021, 07:46:09 pm
https://twitter.com/theeyecollector/status/1387423501284433922?s=20


Compact & bijou.  >:(     I doubt the decor would suit Johnson & Carrie Antoinette.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Moleman76 on 30 April, 2021, 03:47:09 am
Quote
a secret cocktail bar that will be disguised as an antique bookshop.

In some of the parts of That Florida which cater to college students on holiday, there are bars named "The Library" or similar.

Done, it is said, so that when parents asked their child "where did you go during your break between class sessions?" the answer would be "I spent all my time at The Library".

also the rationale for some places known as "The Office", etc.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: TimC on 30 April, 2021, 09:30:05 pm
Quote
a secret cocktail bar that will be disguised as an antique bookshop.

In some of the parts of That Florida which cater to college students on holiday, there are bars named "The Library" or similar.

Done, it is said, so that when parents asked their child "where did you go during your break between class sessions?" the answer would be "I spent all my time at The Library".

also the rationale for some places known as "The Office", etc.

Our crewroom in the Falklands was called Moderation. I only drank there. But to excess, of course.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 30 April, 2021, 09:33:15 pm
In Florida, I once made a full-size 'snowman' out of mashed potato.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 30 April, 2021, 10:26:11 pm
A Bristol special...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-56943732
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 April, 2021, 11:26:48 pm
Cornholme erotic books note attacks 'cesspit' Hebden Bridge (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-56948184)

I've never actually been to Hebden Bridge, but it sounds like a nice place.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 April, 2021, 11:46:59 pm
The Great Cornholmio?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 30 April, 2021, 11:47:17 pm
A Bristol special...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-56943732

Nah, that's Yate!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 April, 2021, 11:49:29 pm
A Bristol special...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-56943732

Nah, that's Yate!

The kind of town that referees come from.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 May, 2021, 06:58:31 am
Pronounced "Yah-tay" by Bristolians who think Yate residents are snobs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on 01 May, 2021, 07:10:18 am
Quote
a secret cocktail bar that will be disguised as an antique bookshop.

In some of the parts of That Florida which cater to college students on holiday, there are bars named "The Library" or similar.

Done, it is said, so that when parents asked their child "where did you go during your break between class sessions?" the answer would be "I spent all my time at The Library".

Yeah, there's a bar called The Library in Leeds, next to the uni (across the road from the Mech Eng building, to be precise). It opened when I was a student in the early 90s, but I believe it is still going strong.

I think, to be fair, the rationale in this case is that the building was a library in a former life.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Salvatore on 01 May, 2021, 09:24:58 am
Quote
a secret cocktail bar that will be disguised as an antique bookshop.

In some of the parts of That Florida which cater to college students on holiday, there are bars named "The Library" or similar.

Done, it is said, so that when parents asked their child "where did you go during your break between class sessions?" the answer would be "I spent all my time at The Library".

also the rationale for some places known as "The Office", etc.

When I was a PSO in Manchester in the 1970, one of my housemates* was from Norn Irn. On Sunday lunchtime he insisted we should go to a pub called The Church (not the nearest, but not too far away), so that he could truthfully tell his mother where we'd all been.

*Later a top civil servant in NI. About 15 years ago he showed me his office (more a suite of rooms) at Stormont. The previous occupant had been Martin McGuinness.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 May, 2021, 12:23:10 pm
Pronounced "Yah-tay" by Bristolians who think Yate residents are snobs.
I've only heard that pronunciation from Yate residents themselves. But on this evidence it's definitely the Florida of the West of England, if not the whole UK. Poor man wanted chicken nuggets and only got a McMuffin...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 04 May, 2021, 10:30:26 am
Quote
a secret cocktail bar that will be disguised as an antique bookshop.

In some of the parts of That Florida which cater to college students on holiday, there are bars named "The Library" or similar.

Done, it is said, so that when parents asked their child "where did you go during your break between class sessions?" the answer would be "I spent all my time at The Library".

Yeah, there's a bar called The Library in Leeds, next to the uni (across the road from the Mech Eng building, to be precise). It opened when I was a student in the early 90s, but I believe it is still going strong.

I think, to be fair, the rationale in this case is that the building was a library in a former life.

There's a Library Alehouse in Santa Monica (well, between Santa Monica and Venice), where I have previously spent several hours in deep study.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 05 May, 2021, 10:50:17 am
New celebrity in York

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-56993465
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 May, 2021, 07:48:52 pm
Swan found with sock on head in 'mindless prank' (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-56995224)

Police looking for suspect with broken arm...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 May, 2021, 07:57:32 pm
I just found the other sock halfway up the stairs.  Now I'm going to have to check all the cupboards for angry swans.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 05 May, 2021, 08:40:29 pm
Swan found with sock on head in 'mindless prank' (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-56995224)

Police looking for suspect with broken arm...

Why does this country produce so many arseholes?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 05 May, 2021, 08:41:06 pm
Swan found with sock on head in 'mindless prank' (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-56995224)

Police looking for suspect with broken arm...

He was going to sock another swan but got cold feet.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Moleman76 on 06 May, 2021, 12:23:16 am
Swan found with sock on head in 'mindless prank' (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-56995224)

Was the sock procured from the official 'by appointment to the House of Windsor' sockmakers?

and how many readers recall Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In and the sock it to me jokes?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 May, 2021, 09:18:19 am
The swan said, "Can you just cut out the front?  It makes a nice snood".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 07 May, 2021, 03:43:55 pm
The news story in itself is fairly unremarkable by Glasgow standards, but I was impressed by the picture:

https://www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/takeaway-boss-fought-armed-robber-20546285
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Paul on 08 May, 2021, 01:31:20 pm
Swan found with sock on head in 'mindless prank' (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-56995224)

Police looking for suspect with broken arm...

He was going to sock another swan but got cold feet.

Fowl play suspected.

Defendant before beak in the morning.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 09 May, 2021, 10:57:44 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/tucked-away-under-your-feet-20524494


Nice to see C&G Finishes get a mention in the local rag.  They did the blue metallic paint on my Orbit tourer back in 2000 or so  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 10 May, 2021, 12:02:24 am
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/tucked-away-under-your-feet-20524494


Nice to see C&G Finishes get a mention in the local rag.  They did the blue metallic paint on my Orbit tourer back in 2000 or so  :thumbsup:

Paragraphing every sentence  :sick:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 10 May, 2021, 10:54:46 am
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/tucked-away-under-your-feet-20524494


Nice to see C&G Finishes get a mention in the local rag.  They did the blue metallic paint on my Orbit tourer back in 2000 or so  :thumbsup:

Paragraphing every sentence  :sick:


AKA HSJ format....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 11 May, 2021, 01:36:29 pm
Word Up!  Man atacked in Horley (https://www.crawleyobserver.co.uk/news/crime/cctv-appeal-following-serious-assault-in-horley-3231935) (hopefully he's OK)

One of the suspects was:
Quote
wearing a grey tracksuit with a green and cream cameo jacket
. No mention of a shiny red cod piece though.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 11 May, 2021, 01:41:42 pm
Word Up!  Man atacked in Horley (https://www.crawleyobserver.co.uk/news/crime/cctv-appeal-following-serious-assault-in-horley-3231935) (hopefully he's OK)

One of the suspects was:
Quote
wearing a grey tracksuit with a green and cream cameo jacket
. No mention of a shiny red cod piece though.

Quote
    ....was assaulted before his shoe was stolen.
Seems a bit disproportionate for just the one item of footwear.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 11 May, 2021, 04:27:02 pm
I suspect the theft of the shoe was incidental, and intended to just be a bit of additional humiliation (thinking of him hobbling home) or to prevent him giving chase should he have been in any condition to do so.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: toontra on 11 May, 2021, 05:00:35 pm
https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/local-news/man-box-head-spotted-walking-5400141 (https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/local-news/man-box-head-spotted-walking-5400141)

Man with box on head spotted walking a significant way from Box.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 11 May, 2021, 05:37:10 pm
The advertisement under that story ‘The biggest story’s from Somerset...’ made me chuckle somewhat.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 May, 2021, 09:54:35 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/special-features/10-amazing-places-visit-aberdeenshire-19776240


The local rag is extolling the virtues of Furrybootshire.  Pingu's beware, you are about to be overrun with Scousers!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 18 May, 2021, 04:08:32 pm
Kaiju burrowing under the foundations
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-57161083 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-57161083)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 24 May, 2021, 04:18:53 pm
Cheese photo leads to Liverpool drug dealer's downfall: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-57226165
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 24 May, 2021, 07:33:24 pm
Human remains found in Petersfield Cemetery 'in rightful place'  https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-57227006
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 25 May, 2021, 08:14:54 am
Cheese photo leads to Liverpool drug dealer's downfall: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-57226165

I guess the UK is still getting some help from Europol despite Brexit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 25 May, 2021, 08:59:41 am
Man is puzzled by possible pipework under the floorboards (https://www.crawleyobserver.co.uk/news/people/gun-discovered-under-floorboards-of-horsham-houseyou-never-know-what-you-might-find-3248442)

Quote
He said when he first saw the rifle he thought it was pipework. “Then I thought ‘what’s pipework doing under floorboards’?”
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 25 May, 2021, 10:40:54 am
Some sad Liverpool local history.   https://www.theguardian.com/news/2021/may/25/chinese-merchant-seamen-liverpool-deportations   


Stephen Yip was the sone of one of these chaps & was an independent candidate for Mayor recently (he lost).  https://hongkongfp.com/2021/04/17/historic-bid-launched-to-become-first-chinese-mayor-of-liverpool/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 28 May, 2021, 09:48:26 am
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-birmingham-57280115 (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-birmingham-57280115)


Birmingham Bitcoin Mine!   We used to have Jam Buttie mines in Liverpool, far more useful.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 29 May, 2021, 02:23:56 pm

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E2fmLmHWEAwCTfR?format=jpg&name=large)

Um...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 May, 2021, 10:23:14 pm
What's wrong with that? Oh, you though because of the wheelchair pictogram it was for disabled people. But the notice says clearly it's a diabolical lift.  :demon:

(Can't help thinking photoshop though)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 29 May, 2021, 10:24:33 pm
We've got a thread for that... https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=7105
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 29 May, 2021, 11:08:50 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teenager-bicycle-shot-suffers-serious-20707423 (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teenager-bicycle-shot-suffers-serious-20707423)


That’s literally just around the corner from me.  I heard several bangs earlier, thought they were fireworks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 02 June, 2021, 11:46:19 am
Police order parents to clean up mess after teen party in Derbyshire

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-57313589
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 04 June, 2021, 04:53:11 pm
Going Dutch in Ipswich
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/travel/news/ark-grounded-by-flood-of-bureaucratic-requests/ar-AAKI3LN?ocid=msedgntp
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 04 June, 2021, 07:16:16 pm
Going Dutch in Ipswich
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/travel/news/ark-grounded-by-flood-of-bureaucratic-requests/ar-AAKI3LN?ocid=msedgntp

Oh. That's where that went. I saw that when cycling past it in .NL a while back.

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 05 June, 2021, 11:52:04 pm
Replica  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 June, 2021, 12:42:25 am
Replica  ???

Of course it’s a replica.  Any fule kno that the real one is in Ken Ham's Ark Encounter in Kentucky.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 06 June, 2021, 10:25:44 am
 ;D ;D ;D

Where there was, IIRC, a claim made against its insurance for, ahem, rain damage...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 June, 2021, 01:03:24 pm
Replica  ???

Of course it’s a replica.  Any fule kno that the real one is in Ken Ham's Ark Encounter in Kentucky.
No, it's in Ken Shem's Ark Experience.

Oh no it's not, it's in Ken Japheth's Ark World...

ect, ect...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 06 June, 2021, 02:35:32 pm
As posted above
https://www.news.com.au/finance/work/at-work/theme-park-sues-insurance-company-after-rain-damages-noahs-ark-exhibit/news-story/db268469f0f7317f44d2182885b0a5f7#:~:text=%E2%80%94%20Ken%20Ham%20%28%40aigkenham%29%20May%2026%2C%202019%20The,2018%20caused%20a%20landslide%20on%20its%20access%20road.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 June, 2021, 05:37:43 pm
You'd think that of all people Hambone would have ensured his insewerants coveted Acts Of God.  Looks like his dogma got run over by karma.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 07 June, 2021, 01:58:39 pm
;D ;D ;D

Where there was, IIRC, a claim made against its insurance for, ahem, rain damage...

To be fair, the claim wasn't in relation to the replica ark itself, but to damage caused to the theme park in which it sat.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 June, 2021, 11:30:33 am
MAN DISGUISED AS OCTOPUS IN BEDMINSTER PUB PREDICTS ENGLAND WILL WIN EURO 2020 (https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/sport-news-and-features/man-disguised-as-octopus-in-bedminster-pub-predicts-england-will-win-euro-2020/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 June, 2021, 11:40:50 am
MAN DISGUISED AS OCTOPUS IN BEDMINSTER PUB PREDICTS ENGLAND WILL WIN EURO 2020 (https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/sport-news-and-features/man-disguised-as-octopus-in-bedminster-pub-predicts-england-will-win-euro-2020/)

Quote
The atmosphere here when England play is electrical

No Sean, that’s the dishwasher you’re thinking of.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 11 June, 2021, 01:02:30 pm
But it’s 2021…
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 June, 2021, 01:33:02 pm
They couldn’t afford/be arsed to change the graphics.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 June, 2021, 01:46:58 pm
That pub is owned/landlorded by a bloke who stood for mayor (of Bristol) in the recent elections (and IIRC back on 2016 too) on, you will be totally amazed to hear, an anti-lockdown platform.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 June, 2021, 02:24:45 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19363029.mystery-surrounds-strange-hum-eldene/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 11 June, 2021, 11:14:51 pm
https://www.northamptonchron.co.uk/news/crime/stunned-drivers-alert-police-after-spotting-a-naked-man-behaving-inappropriately-with-a-blow-up-doll-on-the-a14-in-northamptonshire-3267200?fbclid=IwAR0fPjMqdSLSMQvBGE6F6hGGase1laDWAxP5-XNg05xYzkFcXnh7HAOr8w4

Is there a way of behaving appropriately with a blow up doll?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 June, 2021, 07:03:12 pm
Everyone from the North East named in the Queen's Birthday Honours list 2021 (https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/everyone-north-east-named-queens-20791407).  What, all two million-odd of them?  Seems a bit unfair…
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 June, 2021, 11:11:19 pm
I'm not very keen on the address....... https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/108602231#/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 June, 2021, 06:54:50 am
AIUI Maghull can be a bit grim too (haven't been there for years, but I have an uncle in Lydiate, which has a Corona Avenue).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 17 June, 2021, 11:46:12 am
I'm not very keen on the address....... https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/108602231#/

It's also a mis-described property, apparently being both detached and semi-detached at the same time.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 17 June, 2021, 11:55:31 am
When I lived in Liverpool you couldn't have probably bought the entire city with less than £200k.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 June, 2021, 11:58:31 am
If you'd offered Thatcher (spits) £200k for Scouseville she'd have bitten your hand off.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 17 June, 2021, 12:04:35 pm
It was the only time I've been able to afford to live in Kensington.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 17 June, 2021, 12:09:13 pm
In Liverpool most people aspire to not living in Kensington.

Leave it for the students, it'll toughen them up a bit,
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 17 June, 2021, 12:10:20 pm
It made me what I am.

It was a step down from Tuebrook. But we got a gangster landlord so no one robbed us.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 June, 2021, 12:25:28 pm
If you'd offered Thatcher (spits) £200k for Scouseville she'd have bitten your hand off.
You wouldn't want that.  Rabies shots are really painful.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 17 June, 2021, 12:32:32 pm
Looks like the pretty fields you can see on Streetview are for the bulldozer.  https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/plans-huge-new-community-1700-20039813
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 17 June, 2021, 06:45:50 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/students-accused-contempt-disrespect-over-20837512 (https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/students-accused-contempt-disrespect-over-20837512)


Awful behaviour, not like that nice Ian chap .....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 17 June, 2021, 06:58:19 pm
Our activities (or one of them) did get a write up in The Echo. I'm not sure if the statute of limitations still applies.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 18 June, 2021, 08:16:26 am
Mystery Derby car vandals turn out to be territorial crows

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-57495330
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 June, 2021, 08:27:39 am
Looks like the pretty fields you can see on Streetview are for the bulldozer.  https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/plans-huge-new-community-1700-20039813
If it's anything like Swindon, the "industrial park" or "employment land" will end up being used for housing too, as the developers plead lack of demand/poor business environment.  The fact that they can sell houses for millions more than offices or warehouses is purely coincidental.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 18 June, 2021, 08:36:43 am
Add to that the fact that permitted development will allow change from retail to housing. Good bye shopping streets and hello fragmented money-pot street frontages.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 18 June, 2021, 09:38:50 am
Wandering through Kent the other weekend, we saw lots of signs 'Save Capel' (Capel and Tudeley are small villages east of Tonbridge). It might be easy to reach for the nimby card, but basically the plan – after a google – seems to be to build 4000+ homes in a field with a laughable nod to sustainability, everyone knows that'll be usual local/express convenience store and cars, cars, cars as they drive everywhere. Mind you, our local council wants to similar on a more modest scale with a similarly serviced 'garden village' which might be more apt called a dormitory for drivers. It's all about our obeisance to developers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Look Around You on 21 June, 2021, 02:04:23 pm
https://www.wscountytimes.co.uk/news/people/fears-crawley-drivers-could-be-distracted-by-rude-shape-mowed-into-roundabout-3280603?fbclid=IwAR1vb-O6edOCc6eBjvH7K22wZ7wYjS6cddYJSGuYlPYQoc3weJeeFCaFLD8

Anatomically incorrect.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 21 June, 2021, 02:12:29 pm
https://www.wscountytimes.co.uk/news/people/fears-crawley-drivers-could-be-distracted-by-rude-shape-mowed-into-roundabout-3280603?fbclid=IwAR1vb-O6edOCc6eBjvH7K22wZ7wYjS6cddYJSGuYlPYQoc3weJeeFCaFLD8

Anatomically incorrect.

Fancy seeing you here...
Here's a better slightly snap:
(https://www.dropbox.com/s/l0mzwt0luhup5ov/WhatsApp%20Image%202021-06-21%20at%2013.51.42.jpeg?raw=1)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 23 June, 2021, 09:40:21 am

That explains the strange hissing sound.


Quote
A mechanic "nearly had a heart attack" when he discovered a python under the bonnet of a van during an MOT.

The 1m-long (3ft 4in) snake, which had been missing for two weeks, belonged to the vehicle's owners, who were "relieved" their pet had been found.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-57567018
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 23 June, 2021, 11:20:30 am

That explains the strange hissing sound.


Quote
A mechanic "nearly had a heart attack" when he discovered a python under the bonnet of a van during an MOT.

The 1m-long (3ft 4in) snake, which had been missing for two weeks, belonged to the vehicle's owners, who were "relieved" their pet had been found.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-57567018
Dear The BBC. Since when was 1 metre 3 ft 4 in? Were all those natty metrication rhymes a waste of time? "A metre measurs three foot three, it's about the weight of a big jar of jam. " Or something.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 June, 2021, 11:22:29 am
natty metrication rhymes

This deserves a footnote for Young People And Americans...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nuttycyclist on 23 June, 2021, 11:35:34 am
We need a metrification unit to define young people.

I was born well post the date that google states BRITAIN abandoned IMPERIAL and adopted the metrification unit.     I still measure all DIY in feet and inches, refer to feet and inches in conversation, buy my beer by the pint in the pub, use the mileage signs on our roads, keep to the knot limit on rivers, etc.

It does my head in trying to calculate any distance or other measurement when people insist on using km.   First thing I always did on getting an audax routesheet was to correct it so that it could be followed.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 23 June, 2021, 11:37:49 am
We need a metrification unit to define young people.

I was born well post the date that google states BRITAIN abandoned IMPERIAL and adopted the metrification unit.     I still measure all DIY in feet and inches, refer to feet and inches in conversation, buy my beer by the pint in the pub, use the mileage signs on our roads, keep to the knot limit on rivers, etc.

It does my head in trying to calculate any distance or other measurement when people insist on using km.   First thing I always did on getting an audax routesheet was to correct it so that it could be followed.

You know, given the UK has been metric since before you were born, maybe now would be a good time for you to try to actually use the metric system instead, rather than the backward barleycorn derived barbarian units?

Just a thought.

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 June, 2021, 11:45:36 am
No, even if you can think in metric, I think we're doomed to a hogdgepodge of domain-specific non-interchangeable units.  Stones, angstroms, miles per hour - they all work perfectly until you want to compare with something outside that domain.

I was genuinely wondering if I could get a ruler marked in mils yesterday.  It would make PCB layout related measurements easier, rather than converting back and forward with millimetres.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nuttycyclist on 23 June, 2021, 11:47:15 am
You know, given the UK has been metric since before you were born, maybe now would be a good time for you to try to actually use the metric system instead, rather than the backward barleycorn derived barbarian units?

Does that mean I can start driving at 130km/h on a motorway?    I haven't got the mental energy right now to try to convert the speed limit signs/highway code/speedo in my car, but I recall that when I went to that there europe it was the speed limit of a motorway when I left IMPERIAL and went METRIC

Now if you won't mind, a friend is talking about her new horse and how many hands it is, and my 30cm ruler won't reach up to its arse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 June, 2021, 11:55:45 am
I never learnt any natty metrication rhymes, despite having been at school in the 1970s. AFAIR we had teachers who tried to use the metric system but had, obviously, spent all their lives using imperial. That was at primary school, at secondary school it was the 1980s and nobody even pretended to use metric.

Anyway, I expect the python was measured in feeterninches and then BBC-style-guided to the nearest metric equivalent. I'm rather glad it wasn't described as "1016mm (3ft 4in)".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 23 June, 2021, 11:56:27 am
I got so fed up of trying to work out ounces and pounds (I'm in several online US-dominated backpacking groups, and their preferred units are meaningless to me) that I installed a Chrome extension to convert things to sane metric units. Much better. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 June, 2021, 12:02:57 pm
I was genuinely wondering if I could get a ruler marked in mils yesterday.  It would make PCB layout related measurements easier, rather than converting back and forward with millimetres.

Turns out that if you shop around a bit, you can get rulers with both decimal and fractional divisions of an inch.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 June, 2021, 12:05:54 pm
In the words of the immortal Little Richard:
I got a snake, three foot four,
She asked for a meter but I gave her more

And as Bruce Forsyth has been reminding us:
Nice 2 metre, 2 metre nice
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 23 June, 2021, 12:52:53 pm
In the words of the immortal Little Richard:
I got a snake, three foot four,
She asked for a meter but I gave her more

And as Bruce Forsyth has been reminding us:
Nice 2 metre, 2 metre nice

My brother Billy
Had a ten foot willy
And he showed it to the girl next door.
She thought was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
Now it's only a metre three foot four.

The Chuckle Brothers had a large sheep, a bit over six feet in length
It was their two metre ewe.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nuttycyclist on 23 June, 2021, 01:02:04 pm
...
The Chuckle Brothers had a large sheep, a bit over six feet in length
It was their two metre ewe.

It took me 30 seconds for that to register, then I got it.

It took me much longer trying to work out a metric unit to refer to half of a minute.   I gave up in the end.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 June, 2021, 01:12:56 pm
It took me much longer trying to work out a metric unit to refer to half of a minute.   I gave up in the end.

"30 seconds"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nuttycyclist on 23 June, 2021, 01:23:59 pm
It took me much longer trying to work out a metric unit to refer to half of a minute.   I gave up in the end.

"30 seconds"

But that worried me in case I was giving a compass bearing instead of a time unit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: TimC on 23 June, 2021, 01:46:46 pm
We need a metrification unit to define young people.

I was born well post the date that google states BRITAIN abandoned IMPERIAL and adopted the metrification unit.     I still measure all DIY in feet and inches, refer to feet and inches in conversation, buy my beer by the pint in the pub, use the mileage signs on our roads, keep to the knot limit on rivers, etc.

It does my head in trying to calculate any distance or other measurement when people insist on using km.   First thing I always did on getting an audax routesheet was to correct it so that it could be followed.

You know, given the UK has been metric since before you were born, maybe now would be a good time for you to try to actually use the metric system instead, rather than the backward barleycorn derived barbarian units?

Just a thought.

J

My emphasis. No, it hasn't. The UK embraced the metric system, but did not exclusively adopt it. It is still perfectly legal to offer and buy stuff in imperial quantities. There was a spurious attempt many years ago to claim the the EU 'forced' the UK to go metric. It didn't. Indeed, distances and speeds and all measurements to do with roads and rail are, by law, in imperial units.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 June, 2021, 03:16:29 pm
We need a metrification unit to define young people.

I was born well post the date that google states BRITAIN abandoned IMPERIAL and adopted the metrification unit.     I still measure all DIY in feet and inches, refer to feet and inches in conversation, buy my beer by the pint in the pub, use the mileage signs on our roads, keep to the knot limit on rivers, etc.

It does my head in trying to calculate any distance or other measurement when people insist on using km.   First thing I always did on getting an audax routesheet was to correct it so that it could be followed.

You know, given the UK has been metric since before you were born, maybe now would be a good time for you to try to actually use the metric system instead, rather than the backward barleycorn derived barbarian units?

Just a thought.

J

Sciu, ĉar la UK estas metrika ekde antaŭ ol vi naskiĝis, eble nun estus bona tempo por vi provi efektive uzi la metrikan sistemon anstataŭ la malantaŭajn barkajn derivitajn barbarajn unuojn?

Nur penso.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 June, 2021, 04:12:54 pm
Perhaps it should be "hodeo" rather than "barkajn". Possibly there isn't an specific word.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 June, 2021, 04:19:18 pm
It took me much longer trying to work out a metric unit to refer to half of a minute.   I gave up in the end.

"30 seconds"

But that worried me in case I was giving a compass bearing instead of a time unit.

Those would be in radians.  Because it makes the maths easier(!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 23 June, 2021, 04:50:40 pm
Does that mean I can start driving at 130km/h on a motorway?    I haven't got the mental energy right now to try to convert the speed limit signs/highway code/speedo in my car, but I recall that when I went to that there europe it was the speed limit of a motorway when I left IMPERIAL and went METRIC

No. 70mph is 112 kph. or near enough the 110kph limit some places use. As a rough conversion, 50kph, 65kph, 90kph, 110kph are UK speed limits in metric (spot the person who used to drive a Dutch car in the UK).

The speed limits on motorways varies by country, in some places it's 130kph, other's it's 110kph or 120kph. You should check the local legislation before driving.

Having been brought up with imperial units at home, and metric units at school and uni, I find translating between the two is relatively easy, you only have to remember a few conversion factors. 1.63km to the mile, 568ml in a pint, 28.3g in an oz, 2.2lb in a kg, 454g in a lb etc... And for many of these things you can actually round to much more easy to use numbers for a lot of what we're doing 25g to an ounce is close enough, 500ml for a pint, etc...

You can also know basic common numbers. 2.4m or 2440mm is 8ft, 1.2m or 1220mm is 4ft, 6ft is 1.83m etc...

Quote
Now if you won't mind, a friend is talking about her new horse and how many hands it is, and my 30cm ruler won't reach up to its arse.

1 hand is close enough to 100mm as makes no odds. You could even use a decimeter (common unit in some countries).

The thing is that metric is all about multiples of 10. Conversions within it are simple, and you can still use fractions if you wish.

Metric has been the on the books in the UK for over a generation, it's the international language of metrology. By insisting on using stupid backward barbarian units, people are basically saying "we don't want to be part of a global community".

There are members of the Tory party who want to move us back to using imperial units (Jacob Rees-Mogg insisted on it within his department). But the reality is, if you want to work with the rest of the world, you need to accept that they are going to use metric. They are going to expect you to be using an M6 screw, not a 1/4-20, they are going to ask for the 150mm diameter on this part. If the tories were serious about Global Britain, they would convert everything fully to metric once and for all.

Tooling for a metric world is also simpler, for starters, the typical "standard" machinists set of tools for drilling holes is considerably smaller for metric. You don't need the fractional sizes, and the letter series, and the number series. (drilling size for a 1/4-20 tap is a number 7, for M6 it's 5mm, #7 doesn't tend to see much other use).

I spoke in the tool junky thread about how I had a machined to order part delivered from the UK to operate with a part being made in Czechia, and sold via a German retailer. All I had from the spec sheet was "24mm x 5mm thread" and I could see it was trapezoid. This meant that I could rely on the fact that ISO has standardised on a metric trapezoid thread form. So even tho these parts are made 2000km apart, they work together. The equivalent imperial thread form is called ACME, and even if the measurements for the distances were close enough (say a 25mm/1"), one uses 29° for the angle, vs 30° for the other.

Many people seem to make it a point of pride to use good ole fashioned English units! But the reality, is you're just making life harder for yourself, and harder for those who come after us. There is no excuse for hanging on to the barbarian units.

It took me 30 seconds for that to register, then I got it.

It took me much longer trying to work out a metric unit to refer to half of a minute.   I gave up in the end.

The second is the SI unit for time. It's one of the 7 fundamental units, from which all other derived units originate. Not knowing this would suggest a fundamental failure of the UK education system.

But that worried me in case I was giving a compass bearing instead of a time unit.

Well given the SI unit for angle is the radian, that does not seem to result in any confusion. Amazing this SI metric system isn't it!

My emphasis. No, it hasn't. The UK embraced the metric system, but did not exclusively adopt it. It is still perfectly legal to offer and buy stuff in imperial quantities. There was a spurious attempt many years ago to claim the the EU 'forced' the UK to go metric. It didn't. Indeed, distances and speeds and all measurements to do with roads and rail are, by law, in imperial units.

The metric system is all that should have been taught in state schools since at least the 80's...

Sciu, ĉar la UK estas metrika ekde antaŭ ol vi naskiĝis, eble nun estus bona tempo por vi provi efektive uzi la metrikan sistemon anstataŭ la malantaŭajn barkajn derivitajn barbarajn unuojn?

Nur penso.

That's lovely, but why are you saying what I said, but in Esperanto?


Those would be in radians.  Because it makes the maths easier(!)

No, it would be radians because that is the SI unit for angle... It just happens to also make the maths easier...

And of course, let us not forget, for all those insisting on imperial units, they are all, ultimately, defined by their metric equivalence. The inch is defined in both UK and US law as 25.4mm. The mm of course being 1000th of the meter, thus 25.4mm is short hand for 0.0254m, the metre defined at the time of the legislation based on the International prototype metre, of which the UK has been issued National prototype number 16, which was calibrated against the original IPM. National prototype number 16 is held at the National Physical Laboratory, along with our prototype kilogram, which was calibrated against the IPK in Paris.

Even if the inch was originally the length of three barley corns, fat and round, laid end to end...

J

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 June, 2021, 04:58:16 pm
The speed limits on motorways varies by country, in some places it's 130kph, other's it's 110kph or 120kph. You should check the local legislation before driving.
140 in Poland and Bulgaria.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nuttycyclist on 23 June, 2021, 05:19:22 pm
My emphasis. No, it hasn't. The UK embraced the metric system, but did not exclusively adopt it. It is still perfectly legal to offer and buy stuff in imperial quantities. There was a spurious attempt many years ago to claim the the EU 'forced' the UK to go metric. It didn't. Indeed, distances and speeds and all measurements to do with roads and rail are, by law, in imperial units.

The metric system is all that should have been taught in state schools since at least the 80's...

I went through schooling from the 70's to 90's (whoops I've given away my age there) and the metric system was fine in maths when everything was simple for base10 but for all real world applications we used the measurements on the tape measure.

My main use for measurements nowadays is to navigate and keep within the speed limit, which is easy as the signposts tell me how many miles away somewhere is and the speedo in the car is calibrated accordingly.

If I do DIY I might as well use the measurements I am familiar with, have grown up with, and can visualise.   If I need a quick and ready guestimate then I know my thumb is an inch long (as per average male) and so can measure a rough distance - which when I later measure with a tape is accurate, then I need to translate it into metric if where I am buying what I need from doesn't talk normal language.

I'm tempted to see if I can buy a tape measure which is labelled with woodlice/marmosets/elephants in order that I can start using a new measure of units.

Now, if it's ok by you, the sun's over the yardarm so I'm off for a 0.568261litre.    (To save time when I get to t'pub, I'll just say "a pint")
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Clare on 23 June, 2021, 05:33:26 pm
I know my thumb is an inch long (as per average male)
My bold

Huh??

My thumb (not male) is 2.5" long, Vernon's thumb (male) is also 2.5" long.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 23 June, 2021, 05:39:52 pm
He probably wasn't referring to his thumb.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 June, 2021, 05:47:03 pm
We need a metrification unit to define young people.

I was born well post the date that google states BRITAIN abandoned IMPERIAL and adopted the metrification unit.     I still measure all DIY in feet and inches, refer to feet and inches in conversation, buy my beer by the pint in the pub, use the mileage signs on our roads, keep to the knot limit on rivers, etc.

It does my head in trying to calculate any distance or other measurement when people insist on using km.   First thing I always did on getting an audax routesheet was to correct it so that it could be followed.

You know, given the UK has been metric since before you were born, maybe now would be a good time for you to try to actually use the metric system instead, rather than the backward barleycorn derived barbarian units?

Just a thought.

J

Sciu, ĉar la UK estas metrika ekde antaŭ ol vi naskiĝis, eble nun estus bona tempo por vi provi efektive uzi la metrikan sistemon anstataŭ la malantaŭajn barkajn derivitajn barbarajn unuojn?

Nur penso.

YA TV's M Rendell AICMFP
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 June, 2021, 05:47:42 pm
My emphasis. No, it hasn't. The UK embraced the metric system, but did not exclusively adopt it. It is still perfectly legal to offer and buy stuff in imperial quantities. There was a spurious attempt many years ago to claim the the EU 'forced' the UK to go metric. It didn't. Indeed, distances and speeds and all measurements to do with roads and rail are, by law, in imperial units.

The metric system is all that should have been taught in state schools since at least the 80's...

I went through schooling from the 70's to 90's (whoops I've given away my age there) and the metric system was fine in maths when everything was simple for base10 but for all real world applications we used the measurements on the tape measure.

I started school in the mid 80s, by which point all the imperial measuring devices had been exorcised to (presumably) avoid confusing the teachers children.  The exception being our own rulers, which were usually bilingual, but if you can't cope with there being a Weird Old People Units scale to ignore, you're probably not old enough to own a ruler.  If we'd wanted to measure something in pounds or feet, we'd have had to convert from metric, or go rummaging in dusty boxes at the back of the SCIENCE cupboard.  The teachers taught fluent metric, having had time to get used to it[1] by then.

(I've previously mentioned how the primary maths books would talk about 'New Pence', which I deduced meant the plastic ones you use in school, as distinct from the metal ones you use in shops.  Interestingly they never got rolled out nationally.  I blame Kenneth Baker.)

Meanwhile, in the real world, Old People and USAnians spoke imperial, FOREIGNS spoke metric, engineered objects could be either (with a general trend towards metric for newer items, except where specified by USAnians), and nearly all the measuring devices were bilingual.  Most of the time there was no strong reason not to use the units we were familiar with from school, so I only really got the hang of imperial as a kind of shorthand for spoken approximation.  "6 foot" is a tall person.  "inch" is 25mm.  "mile" is long walk.  "yard" is 1 metre.  "stone" is a thing that Diet People talk about and can be safely ignored.  Speed limits are arbitrary units that don't matter unless you're trying to work out when you'll get somewhere, you just have to make sure the number on the dashboard is less than or equal to the one on the red signs.  It's fine.  Pounds are tricky because they tend to get used for serious measurement, and have me reaching for the calculator.  And the electronics industry's inability to standardise on a unit of measurement[2] is a cause of regular design cockups.


[1] And it stands to reason that anyone who grew up with imperial measurements should be able to cope just fine with the concept of yet another set of arbitrary units specifically for the purpose of teaching in primary schools.
[2] Let's specify mounting holes in millimetres and pin pitch in mils.  What could possibly go wrong?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: matthew on 23 June, 2021, 06:05:32 pm
I know my thumb is an inch long (as per average male)
My bold

Huh??

My thumb (not male) is 2.5" long, Vernon's thumb (male) is also 2.5" long.

The top joint of the average thumb (tip to first knuckle) is a good approximation for 1.25 inches or 1 mile on the OS 1:50000 maps. As learnt for roughly measuring the distance to the lunch stop or the youth hostel when touring as a child.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 23 June, 2021, 06:08:31 pm
I know my thumb is an inch long (as per average male)

I think you mean "an inch wide" - which is where one possible origin of the phrase "rule of thumb" comes from*:

Quote from: Wikinaccurate
Historically, the width of the thumb, or "thumb's breadth", was used as the equivalent of an inch in the cloth trade; similar expressions existed in Latin and French as well.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_thumb#Origin_and_usage


* The story about it being to do with the maximum width of stick with which a man could beat his wife is an urban myth, or LIE.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 June, 2021, 07:16:20 pm
An inch seems a bit wide for a thumb...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Zipperhead on 23 June, 2021, 07:20:14 pm
An inch seems a bit wide for a thumb...

Not if you've made a post in the "I'm Such a Fecking Div" thread about smacking it with a heavy blunt hammer shaped object.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 23 June, 2021, 07:29:14 pm
An inch seems a bit wide for a thumb...

I've actually measured mine, and according to my Rabone Chesterman ruler, my thumbs are just under an inch in breadth at their widest point, midway along the distal phalanx (https://www.sportsinjuryclinic.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/hand-bones800.jpg).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 23 June, 2021, 08:00:06 pm
An inch seems a bit wide for a thumb...

Just measured mine (I have a single bilingual steel rule for such idiosyncratic operations), it comes out at about 29/32nds of an inch... or about 22.5mm...

I went through schooling from the 70's to 90's (whoops I've given away my age there) and the metric system was fine in maths when everything was simple for base10 but for all real world applications we used the measurements on the tape measure.

But surely you had purely metric measuring devices by that point ?

Quote

My main use for measurements nowadays is to navigate and keep within the speed limit, which is easy as the signposts tell me how many miles away somewhere is and the speedo in the car is calibrated accordingly.


I bet you the speedo is not calibrated. It'll intentionally read incorrectly.

Quote
If I do DIY I might as well use the measurements I am familiar with, have grown up with, and can visualise.   If I need a quick and ready guestimate then I know my thumb is an inch long (as per average male) and so can measure a rough distance - which when I later measure with a tape is accurate, then I need to translate it into metric if where I am buying what I need from doesn't talk normal language.

I know that if I hold my arms out fully, then tip to tip is near as damnit 1.7m, my palm is 75mm, and like you I do use the thumb to be about 25mm (tho as above, that's over reading by almost 10%). I know that it's about a meter from one arm extended out to my side, to the opposite arm pit. These are good enough for things like sorting ethernet cable lengths at work.

Quote

I'm tempted to see if I can buy a tape measure which is labelled with woodlice/marmosets/elephants in order that I can start using a new measure of units.

Why? Cos you want to be an idiot? It's one thing to use something cos it's been like that a while, but that's just going out of your way to be stupid. Why? What is achieved by such things?

Quote

Now, if it's ok by you, the sun's over the yardarm so I'm off for a 0.568261litre.    (To save time when I get to t'pub, I'll just say "a pint")

Just remember, that under the weights and measures act in England and Wales, they can sell you beer in 1/3rd of a pint, 1/2 of a pint, and multiples there of. 4/3rds of a pint is entirely valid as a beer size... 4/3rds of a pint being near as damnit 750ml...

I started school in the mid 80s, by which point all the imperial measuring devices had been exorcised to (presumably) avoid confusing the teachers children.  The exception being our own rulers, which were usually bilingual, but if you can't cope with there being a Weird Old People Units scale to ignore, you're probably not old enough to own a ruler.  If we'd wanted to measure something in pounds or feet, we'd have had to convert from metric, or go rummaging in dusty boxes at the back of the SCIENCE cupboard.  The teachers taught fluent metric, having had time to get used to it[1] by then.

I had a similar experience.

Quote
Meanwhile, in the real world, Old People and USAnians spoke imperial, FOREIGNS spoke metric, engineered objects could be either (with a general trend towards metric for newer items, except where specified by USAnians), and nearly all the measuring devices were bilingual.  Most of the time there was no strong reason not to use the units we were familiar with from school, so I only really got the hang of imperial as a kind of shorthand for spoken approximation.  "6 foot" is a tall person.  "inch" is 25mm.  "mile" is long walk.  "yard" is 1 metre.  "stone" is a thing that Diet People talk about and can be safely ignored.  Speed limits are arbitrary units that don't matter unless you're trying to work out when you'll get somewhere, you just have to make sure the number on the dashboard is less than or equal to the one on the red signs.  It's fine.  Pounds are tricky because they tend to get used for serious measurement, and have me reaching for the calculator.  And the electronics industry's inability to standardise on a unit of measurement[2] is a cause of regular design cockups.

Because I did wood work as a kid at home with my parents who used weird units, and I had got in the habit of "nearest line on the tape measure" type thinking, I got some interesting thoughts from my D&T teacher at school when the cutting list for a project included a piece that was 3" x 10cm x 10mm... I had to resubmit it as 76mm x 100mm x 10mm. To keep all the units consistent.

Quote

[1] And it stands to reason that anyone who grew up with imperial measurements should be able to cope just fine with the concept of yet another set of arbitrary units specifically for the purpose of teaching in primary schools.
[2] Let's specify mounting holes in millimetres and pin pitch in mils.  What could possibly go wrong?


Well quite, esp when you consider that they even have to adapt for things like a wine barrel and a beer barrel being different sizes... or a bushel of wheat and a bushel of potatoes being different weights...

As for the EE thing. Surely you just get used to doing a lot of maths in 1.27mm 0.0635mm and the like? Also how do you get on with the fun and games that is those modern SMD parts with 0.5mm and 1mm spacing? Throw them into a mix, and you get some real fun and games. But ultimately, Kicad handles this all fine for me, abstracting the weird shit away so I can just focus on millimeters.

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 23 June, 2021, 08:14:22 pm
It took me much longer trying to work out a metric unit to refer to half of a minute.   I gave up in the end.

"30 seconds"

But that worried me in case I was giving a compass bearing instead of a time unit.

Those would be in radians.  Because it makes the maths easier(!)
or Grads as used by the military. 400 graduations in a circle if I remember correctly.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 June, 2021, 08:51:12 pm
Apropos motor-car speedos; some are a good deal more accurate than others even in this day and age.  That of the FAFC (born 2008) is about 2-3 mph slow at an indicated 50 mph compared with GPS.  In contrast a 2008 Corvette was pretty much bang-on when electronically timed over a flying 200m* at 181.8 mph.  The 'vette didn’t even have an inner ring of (illegible) km/h numbers for use in Canuckistan.

* Just under a furlong ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 24 June, 2021, 09:37:31 am
Cricketer hits his own car windscreen for six

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-leeds-57572844
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 24 June, 2021, 10:08:48 am
Does that mean I can start driving at 130km/h on a motorway?    I haven't got the mental energy right now to try to convert the speed limit signs/highway code/speedo in my car, but I recall that when I went to that there europe it was the speed limit of a motorway when I left IMPERIAL and went METRIC

No. 70mph is 112 kph. or near enough the 110kph limit some places use. As a rough conversion, 50kph, 65kph, 90kph, 110kph are UK speed limits in metric (spot the person who used to drive a Dutch car in the UK).

The speed limits on motorways varies by country, in some places it's 130kph, other's it's 110kph or 120kph. You should check the local legislation before driving.

Having been brought up with imperial units at home, and metric units at school and uni, I find translating between the two is relatively easy, you only have to remember a few conversion factors. 1.63km to the mile, 568ml in a pint, 28.3g in an oz, 2.2lb in a kg, 454g in a lb etc... And for many of these things you can actually round to much more easy to use numbers for a lot of what we're doing 25g to an ounce is close enough, 500ml for a pint, etc...

You can also know basic common numbers. 2.4m or 2440mm is 8ft, 1.2m or 1220mm is 4ft, 6ft is 1.83m etc...

Quote
Now if you won't mind, a friend is talking about her new horse and how many hands it is, and my 30cm ruler won't reach up to its arse.

1 hand is close enough to 100mm as makes no odds. You could even use a decimeter (common unit in some countries).

The thing is that metric is all about multiples of 10. Conversions within it are simple, and you can still use fractions if you wish.

Metric has been the on the books in the UK for over a generation, it's the international language of metrology. By insisting on using stupid backward barbarian units, people are basically saying "we don't want to be part of a global community".

There are members of the Tory party who want to move us back to using imperial units (Jacob Rees-Mogg insisted on it within his department). But the reality is, if you want to work with the rest of the world, you need to accept that they are going to use metric. They are going to expect you to be using an M6 screw, not a 1/4-20, they are going to ask for the 150mm diameter on this part. If the tories were serious about Global Britain, they would convert everything fully to metric once and for all.

Tooling for a metric world is also simpler, for starters, the typical "standard" machinists set of tools for drilling holes is considerably smaller for metric. You don't need the fractional sizes, and the letter series, and the number series. (drilling size for a 1/4-20 tap is a number 7, for M6 it's 5mm, #7 doesn't tend to see much other use).

I spoke in the tool junky thread about how I had a machined to order part delivered from the UK to operate with a part being made in Czechia, and sold via a German retailer. All I had from the spec sheet was "24mm x 5mm thread" and I could see it was trapezoid. This meant that I could rely on the fact that ISO has standardised on a metric trapezoid thread form. So even tho these parts are made 2000km apart, they work together. The equivalent imperial thread form is called ACME, and even if the measurements for the distances were close enough (say a 25mm/1"), one uses 29° for the angle, vs 30° for the other.

Many people seem to make it a point of pride to use good ole fashioned English units! But the reality, is you're just making life harder for yourself, and harder for those who come after us. There is no excuse for hanging on to the barbarian units.

It took me 30 seconds for that to register, then I got it.

It took me much longer trying to work out a metric unit to refer to half of a minute.   I gave up in the end.

The second is the SI unit for time. It's one of the 7 fundamental units, from which all other derived units originate. Not knowing this would suggest a fundamental failure of the UK education system.

But that worried me in case I was giving a compass bearing instead of a time unit.

Well given the SI unit for angle is the radian, that does not seem to result in any confusion. Amazing this SI metric system isn't it!

My emphasis. No, it hasn't. The UK embraced the metric system, but did not exclusively adopt it. It is still perfectly legal to offer and buy stuff in imperial quantities. There was a spurious attempt many years ago to claim the the EU 'forced' the UK to go metric. It didn't. Indeed, distances and speeds and all measurements to do with roads and rail are, by law, in imperial units.

The metric system is all that should have been taught in state schools since at least the 80's...

Sciu, ĉar la UK estas metrika ekde antaŭ ol vi naskiĝis, eble nun estus bona tempo por vi provi efektive uzi la metrikan sistemon anstataŭ la malantaŭajn barkajn derivitajn barbarajn unuojn?

Nur penso.

That's lovely, but why are you saying what I said, but in Esperanto?


Those would be in radians.  Because it makes the maths easier(!)

No, it would be radians because that is the SI unit for angle... It just happens to also make the maths easier...

And of course, let us not forget, for all those insisting on imperial units, they are all, ultimately, defined by their metric equivalence. The inch is defined in both UK and US law as 25.4mm. The mm of course being 1000th of the meter, thus 25.4mm is short hand for 0.0254m, the metre defined at the time of the legislation based on the International prototype metre, of which the UK has been issued National prototype number 16, which was calibrated against the original IPM. National prototype number 16 is held at the National Physical Laboratory, along with our prototype kilogram, which was calibrated against the IPK in Paris.

Even if the inch was originally the length of three barley corns, fat and round, laid end to end...

J

Sorry, I’ve quoted the whole post because I cannot be arsed to split back out an individual point.

Why Esperanto? Because it is an artificial language, designed for everyone. It hasn’t evolved like all other languages, it doesn't mainly have roots in natural human and cultural things over time, there doesn't appear to be a set of people that are clamouring for it to be universal. Surely it makes sense to be universal with language…?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 June, 2021, 02:47:30 pm
Not sure if this belongs here or the not news thread...  Ely pub's 'quirky' tankard investigated by council (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-57617443)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 June, 2021, 03:18:46 pm
As if the Fens weren't weird enough.  Directions to a friend's house outside Thetford include "go left at the carrot place".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 26 June, 2021, 09:42:02 pm
Slow news day at the Echo ?  Raking up a 6 year old story. 


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/southport-sockmen-who-swindled-thousands-20906929


https://www.dailydot.com/irl/southport-sockmen-holes-in-their-souls/ 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 26 June, 2021, 09:52:32 pm
Any story where they'd have gotten away with it if only they'd had a digital camera is a bit stale...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 07 July, 2021, 02:01:50 pm
https://www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/news/19423544.giant-turd-closes-first-floor-house-trembling-madness/


"the largest turd blockage we've ever had."   
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: JonBuoy on 07 July, 2021, 10:14:01 pm
Robot vacuum cleaner escapes owner's home and is now missing on Leicestershire's streets (https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/local-news/robot-vacuum-cleaner-escapes-owners-5621720)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 07 July, 2021, 10:20:21 pm
Robot vacuum cleaner escapes owner's home and is now missing on Leicestershire's streets (https://www.leicestermercury.co.uk/news/local-news/robot-vacuum-cleaner-escapes-owners-5621720)

I, for one, welcome our new Roomba overlords...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orraloon on 08 July, 2021, 09:42:03 pm
^ Youz are aware yeah that the wandering robot vac story is just internetz BS?  Been appearing in meejah places various supposedly in geographic locations various.  Unless there's an army of them....  let me check the Terminator documentary.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 11 July, 2021, 12:43:13 pm
Virgin Galactic space flight piloted by Scotsman delayed due to weather

https://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/virgin-galactic-space-flight-piloted-24509477
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Poacher on 11 July, 2021, 07:28:12 pm
Hot air balloon livens up Sutton-in-Ashfield
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-57795523
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 July, 2021, 09:42:34 pm
Rainbow (LGBTQ+?) monkey with huge organs causes some consternation in Redbridge library

https://www.mylondon.news/news/east-london-news/parents-disgust-after-monkey-suit-21029061

This is like something Legz Akimbo would do in LoG.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 14 July, 2021, 08:41:07 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-57825759


Zap !
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 July, 2021, 01:03:47 am
Q: What is the first thing they tell you NOT to do inna thunderstorm?

A: Take shelter under a tree.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 15 July, 2021, 01:06:51 am
The real question is what breed of smartphone was it that can cope with the full 1.21jiggawatts and keep on ticking?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 July, 2021, 07:48:00 am
You're not entirely safe inside a building. My late MiL happened to be in the kitchen with her hand on the tap at the very moment lightning struck a larch tree by their house. She got nothing more than a buzzing, fortunately. Presumably the tree's roots must have contacted the water pipe.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 July, 2021, 08:43:06 am
You're not safe in a convertible car, either (roof up or down).  If it has a metal retractable roof, possibly.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 15 July, 2021, 09:48:08 am
Years ago a bloke I knew was strolling on the Schwäbische Alb with his girlfriend and watching a storm a couple of km away. It began to rain a bit so he put his brolly up. A bit later she noticed the blue glow building up around the spike and shrieked. He threw it away in time, but his arm was all tingly for a couple of hours afterwards.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 15 July, 2021, 10:10:53 am
I got blown off my BMX by a thunder bolt as a child.

Absolutely no one believed me, but it happened, so there. Missed me by a few metres and the only sign of it was a small patch of melted tarmac.

I wasn't wearing a helmet.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 July, 2021, 10:35:32 am
The Raleigh Thunder Bolt, there was every kid's dream bike.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 15 July, 2021, 11:42:56 am
You're not entirely safe inside a building. My late MiL happened to be in the kitchen with her hand on the tap at the very moment lightning struck a larch tree by their house. She got nothing more than a buzzing, fortunately. Presumably the tree's roots must have contacted the water pipe.

The e-field spreads out from the point of contact, conductors change the shape of it.  The pipe would have created a steeper voltage gradient, but contact with the roots wouldn't be necessary.  The thing about lightning voltages is that nearly everything is a conductor.  It's travelled hundreds of metres through the air, a bit more air (or some soil, flesh, half an inch of rubber or whatever) isn't going to stop it.  Hide in a Faraday cage, or be somewhere else.

As bipeds we have an advantage with this sort of thing, as we don't provide a short-circuit between two patches of ground a decent distance apart.  When high-voltage power lines develop earth faults, it's common for livestock to be electrocuted by the difference in voltage between the ground their front and back legs are standing on.  A human in muddy boots just feels a tingle, and a human in dry boots wonders if aliens have murdered their cows.

Fortunately lightning is direct current, so it's less inclined to induce fibrillation.  Burns are another matter...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 July, 2021, 12:11:08 pm
Bosch or Steps e-field?


The rubber mac and wellies, please.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 15 July, 2021, 02:08:15 pm
I’ve a friend who used to play with synthetic lightening as a job and most of the time he worked in a totally isolated room with no earths. Even so, most of the actual live tests were, I believe, controlled from outside the room once everyone was safely removed.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 15 July, 2021, 05:00:31 pm
There used to be  programme on the BBC called QED.
One particular episode covered the subject of how resilient humans are to the forces of nature.
So, for instance, how much water flow would it take before a standing person was washed away.
They stood a bod in the sluice of a dam, with divers equipped with nets downstream. They opened the gates. The water hadn't reached his knees before he was swept away.
The other experiment they wanted to try was to see what would happen if you were struck by lightning whilst in your car.
The HSE wouldn't allow them to carry this out.
So they went to a power generation plant in Germany to film their Ford Sierra being zapped.
The net result was
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 15 July, 2021, 06:02:16 pm
When I was a proto-PSO, I went to an interview at what was then UMIST.  As part of a process for weeding out people who didn't have the right disposition to be electrical enginerds, they had us spend an hour in a lab taking measurements that culminated in some mathematical conclusion or other, after which they had us traipse to the adjacent building where a man with the demeanour of Fred Dibnah was careful to ask if any of us had pace-makers, before locking us all in a Faraday cage and generating artificial lighting above our heads.

Which is how I ended up applying to Brizzle.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on 15 July, 2021, 10:03:30 pm
When I was a proto-PSO, I went to an interview at what was then UMIST.  As part of a process for weeding out people who didn't have the right disposition to be electrical enginerds, they had us spend an hour in a lab taking measurements that culminated in some mathematical conclusion or other, after which they had us traipse to the adjacent building where a man with the demeanour of Fred Dibnah was careful to ask if any of us had pace-makers, before locking us all in a Faraday cage and generating artificial lighting above our heads.

Which is how I ended up applying to Brizzle.
I went to UMIST, initially to study EE. I don’t remember any such excitement. Feeling quite left out now :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 16 July, 2021, 11:13:47 am
The figure I remember, from generating high-voltage sparks with a Wimshurst Machine in school, was 30,000 volts per inch in dry air.  Fun.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 16 July, 2021, 11:17:12 am
Are they still allowed to do the thing in Physics where you stand in a ring and complete a circuit with the Van de Graaff generator whilst the teacher giggles away, safely separated from the "fun"?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 July, 2021, 07:52:54 pm
Dan Norris, the recently elected Western Super Mayor, (https://votedan.uk) has announced that he doesn't think the region he's mayor of should be called WECA, West of England Combined Authority. In his opinion it sounds too reminiscent of Waco, Texas (younger forumists might not have heard of the siege of religious cult's HQ that happened there in the 90s).

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E5JEmoXXEA4QCIy?format=jpg&name=900x900)

This has inevitably led to suggestions of other names that could be used, by far the best of which is this:
Western Urban & Rural Zones Legislature Executive.

 :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 16 July, 2021, 11:11:38 pm
https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/19449153.condom-birdboxes-installed-two-tree-island-nature-reserve/

I bet Swindon can't match that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 16 July, 2021, 11:25:25 pm
The TdF went near to the town of Condom today, a fact that I felt obliged to point out to my boy when he got here. He can be relied upon to behave in a totally puerile manner when presented with such facts  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 July, 2021, 12:22:15 am
The TdF went near to the town of Condom today, a fact that I felt obliged to point out to my boy when he got here. He can be relied upon to behave in a totally puerile manner when presented with such facts  :D

The real question is why didn't P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® cover this key fact?  (And the answer is probably shitverts.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 July, 2021, 01:09:40 am
The TdF went near to the town of Condom today, a fact that I felt obliged to point out to my boy when he got here. He can be relied upon to behave in a totally puerile manner when presented with such facts  :D

The real question is why didn't P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® cover this key fact?  (And the answer is probably shitverts.)

“Near” is probably not close enough to warrant a mention on ITV4, particularly if it happened while M Rendell and chirpy Manx idiot Tiny P Kennaugh* were on duty.  If it had been *** and the C Boardmen…

IIRC it went through Condom a few years ago while *** and the C Boardmen were in the colemantary Sheds (and Super D was snoozing off his lunch) but they were busy talking about something totally unrelated to the race – probably something to do with EO Aquitaine, caves or pine trees – and utterly failed to notice.

* who, I recently learned, is only 1” shorter than Nice C, but everyone looks like a dwarf alongside Super D.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 July, 2021, 07:04:02 pm
Well, here's a surprise or two. Or maybe not. Firstly, apparently the oft repeated but unverifiable claim that Bristol's Gloucester Road is the Europe's longest high street of independent shops originates from a housebuilder's brochure.
https://www.barratthomes.co.uk/new-homes/south-west/bristol/
Quote
As the South West’s retail capital, the centre of the city has all the big names you’d hope for including Harvey Nichols. Gloucester Road is Europe’s longest street of independent shops. Clifton Village is Bristol’s Chelsea with boutiques, antique shops and trendy cafes, while it’s ‘Christmas Steps’ date back to the 1600s.

And secondly, Wetherspoons is modelled on Orwell's Moon Under Water.
https://thebristolcable.org/2021/07/gloucester-road-wetherspoons-a-chain-changing-the-bristols-fiercely-independent-high-street/
Quote
Both Wetherspoons and the micropub movement were influenced by George Orwell’s 1946 essay about his favourite – fictional – pub the Moon Under Water. It is “always quiet enough to talk”, serves food, has friendly staff, and a garden for children.

Which leads to the third, probably largest, surprise, that by inference Tim Martin has read Orwell.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 July, 2021, 08:56:35 pm
I've been to a real Moon Under Water in Leicester Square.  I imagine there are many.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 19 July, 2021, 07:40:40 am
Dan Norris, the recently elected Western Super Mayor, (https://votedan.uk) has announced that he doesn't think the region he's mayor of should be called WECA, West of England Combined Authority. In his opinion it sounds too reminiscent of Waco, Texas (younger forumists might not have heard of the siege of religious cult's HQ that happened there in the 90s).

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E5JEmoXXEA4QCIy?format=jpg&name=900x900)

This has inevitably led to suggestions of other names that could be used, by far the best of which is this:
Western Urban & Rural Zones Legislature Executive.

 :D


A weka (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weka) is a NZ flightless bird.    We used to have a few living at the bottom of our garden.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 19 July, 2021, 10:12:18 am

A weka (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weka) is a NZ flightless bird.    We used to have a few living at the bottom of our garden.

Described by Douglas Adams as:
Quote
a fierce and disorderly duck-sized bird
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 19 July, 2021, 02:14:54 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/naked-man-spotted-riding-bike-21087497


Not guilty.  I've not been out on my bike for ages....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 July, 2021, 06:03:48 pm
Quote
A spokesperson for Bristol Rovers Football Club said in a statement: “With regard to manager Joey Barton’s court appearance by video link this morning, the club has been informed that the matter is proceeding to trial and is, therefore, sub judicial.”
Not at all a light-hearted matter, but I can't help wondering if "sub judicial" for more usual "sub judice" is a typo, a deliberate use of an adjective, or a reflection of the local accent...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 10 August, 2021, 06:52:13 pm
https://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/2021-08-10/telecommunications-mast-in-north-yorkshire-has-caught-fire (https://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/2021-08-10/telecommunications-mast-in-north-yorkshire-has-caught-fire)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 August, 2021, 09:19:54 pm
https://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/2021-08-10/telecommunications-mast-in-north-yorkshire-has-caught-fire (https://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/2021-08-10/telecommunications-mast-in-north-yorkshire-has-caught-fire)

I believe that 'stray firework' is the traditional excuse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 11 August, 2021, 04:29:08 pm
https://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/2021-08-10/telecommunications-mast-in-north-yorkshire-has-caught-fire (https://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/2021-08-10/telecommunications-mast-in-north-yorkshire-has-caught-fire)

I believe that 'stray firework' is the traditional excuse.


Or nutters trying to stop the 5G rollout....


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tees-58169501    "concerns about the structural integrity of the mast"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 August, 2021, 05:28:19 pm
Perhaps an RF enginerd could comment on whether the smoke emanating from various points along the tower is indicative of something on the tower being forced to give up its magic smoke due to a particularly spicy malfunction, or just smoke from the transmitter hut finding its way up hollow coaxial conductors?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 11 August, 2021, 06:40:46 pm
Perhaps an RF enginerd could comment on whether the smoke emanating from various points along the tower is indicative of something on the tower being forced to give up its magic smoke due to a particularly spicy malfunction, or just smoke from the transmitter hut finding its way up hollow coaxial conductors?

From what I've read, there was an engineer on-site who reported the fire.
He observed smoke from a point on the mast somewhere below the first guy point.

The mast itself is a tubular steel affair, so smoke comes out the top and bottom.

No-one has yet speculated on the actual origin of the smoke; as you say up a feeder from a fire in the hut, or from a failure in the feeder itself.
But the initial report was for fire in the mast, not in the building.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 August, 2021, 07:20:34 pm
Right.  Squirrel sabotage, then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 11 August, 2021, 11:12:50 pm
Giren how the BBC protest went so well the other day, I imagine that any attempt to burn down this transmitter would have resulted in an 18th Century folly 35 miles away being attacked.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 August, 2021, 11:17:00 pm
Giren how the BBC protest went so well the other day, I imagine that any attempt to burn down this transmitter would have resulted in an 18th Century folly 35 miles away being attacked.

Like this one?  https://thefollyflaneuse.com/towers-and-telecommunications-follies-as-phone-masts/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 11 August, 2021, 11:39:13 pm
 :P
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: L CC on 12 August, 2021, 10:08:22 am
Once you get up close and personal with it, it looks a lot like Harry Potter's wand. I reckon an incendio went wrong.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 August, 2021, 05:16:22 pm
Cave could only house a small giant. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids/famous-bristol-cave-could-only-5753036?utm_source=mantis_rec&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=more_like_this)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 August, 2021, 06:19:11 pm
Cave could only house a small giant. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids/famous-bristol-cave-could-only-5753036?utm_source=mantis_rec&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=more_like_this)

If it was USAnia she'd have sued someone for $300 million.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Salvatore on 13 August, 2021, 06:19:10 pm
Cave could only house a small giant. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids/famous-bristol-cave-could-only-5753036?utm_source=mantis_rec&utm_medium=web&utm_campaign=more_like_this)

I'm sure I don't need to remind you, Cudzo, that there's a Polish supermarket chain called Lewiatan (Leviathan). And that small shops in the chain call themselves MINI Lewiatan. And what is a mini leviathan but a small giant? They should open a sklep in the cave on that reviewer's recommendation.

This one's at Złotogłowice.
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51376635129_75731c74c9_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2mgYFFX)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 August, 2021, 06:28:43 pm
A sklep in the cave is so appropriate, as sklep in Slovak means cellar. And what is a cellar but a cave?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 14 August, 2021, 11:27:53 am
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/exclusive-first-look-inside-stunning-21306902


Looks like a nice renovation job , but it's a bloody shame that the general public will now be barred from the building.   I used to enjoy taking a walk through the arcade at lunchtime. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 August, 2021, 09:24:14 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/sport/national/19514465.everton-re-edit-tribute-video-anne-frank-image-appears-original-version/

Scousers, eh?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 16 August, 2021, 02:29:08 pm
A man is embarking on a 1,800-mile tour on a 50cc moped of places with rude and funny names.
Paul Taylor, from Wantage, Oxfordshire, is making the charity fundraising trip in memory of a friend who died of cancer.
His journey will begin in Shitterton, Dorset, on Wednesday and will take in locations such as Twatt in Orkney and Booze in the Yorkshire Dales.
Mr Taylor's Slovenian Tomos XL45 Classic has a top speed of 28mph.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-58229967
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 17 August, 2021, 10:53:59 am
Butts have holes

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-58172334
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 August, 2021, 11:30:52 am
Nando's has run out of chicken.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19518138.nandos-closes-orbital-restaurant-shortage-chicken/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 17 August, 2021, 11:39:46 am
Nando's has run out of chicken.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19518138.nandos-closes-orbital-restaurant-shortage-chicken/


Perhaps KFC nicked it all?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 17 August, 2021, 09:43:16 pm
Pizza Express inShrewsbury was struggling this evening. Lots of little errors over the course of our meal, to the extent I had to speak to the manager when presented with the bill. We had more mistakes with this evenings meal that I have suffered in total on my visits to Pizza Express in the last 35 years.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 18 August, 2021, 12:01:11 am
No staff, because Berxit.

Besides, to be honest, who wants to work in a Pizza Express, with all those sweaty customer Andrews, when you can have a high flying degree career?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 18 August, 2021, 09:39:34 am
Don't knock Pizza Express, it's probably where my daughter's beau is going to end up in September after defending his thesis on James Joyce with the congrats of the jury and a hell of a lot of my money.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 August, 2021, 07:25:18 am
At least the waiting staff in Pizza Hut draw a smiley face on your bill.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 19 August, 2021, 08:15:37 am
I'm not sure that Joyce scholars are allowed to smile.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 19 August, 2021, 02:35:51 pm
I'm not sure that Joyce scholars are allowed to smile.
I’m not sure they retain the ability to smile after being a Joyce scholar for any length of time.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 20 August, 2021, 06:12:19 pm
Fight breaks out at Adventure Island, Southend's most popular sea front "attraction".

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/breaking-adventure-island-panic-southend-24805339?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mirror_main&fbclid=IwAR0g1F3ONkCTOoMMKEYx93KPhVLvrnYF5AhjKlwQDDFWBn7He3IGAnFLY7s

Quote
Security guards ran to the incident and there was about 30 to 40 people fighting.

Security couldn’t contain the incident.
The suspects had knives. Everyone was told to evacuate or stay inside the centre area.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 August, 2021, 10:07:21 pm
Bristol is a creative city, home to many successful and innovative media firms, such as Aardman, the BBC and this. (https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/there-is-a-mini-roundabout-in-bristol-with-its-own-youtube-channel/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 August, 2021, 06:27:52 pm
Biscuits not vegan, it turns out

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19528440.mothers-horror-daughter-11-bites-slug-biscuit/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 21 August, 2021, 07:54:02 pm
Biscuits not vegan, it turns out

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19528440.mothers-horror-daughter-11-bites-slug-biscuit/
What’s worse than finding a slug in the biscuit you’ve just bitten into?

Finding half a slug…

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orraloon on 21 August, 2021, 08:25:46 pm
How does a live? slug get into a 'twice cooked' biscuit?  Do I detect a case of 'I want com-pen-say-shun'?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 21 August, 2021, 11:55:20 pm
Film buff rescues more than 20,000 VHS tapes set for dump (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-scotland-tayside-central-58273051)

Just because you can...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 22 August, 2021, 09:36:01 am
Film buff rescues more than 20,000 VHS tapes set for dump (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-scotland-tayside-central-58273051)

Just because you can...
I can send him some more if he likes…
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Salvatore on 29 August, 2021, 11:06:10 am
A single-sentence new item squeezed between news of military appointments in the Northampton Mercury - Friday 28 February 1919

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/51409001647_77b0fda63a.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2mjQz8n)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on 29 August, 2021, 12:27:23 pm
Armed guards take on Orkney’s goose problem
https://www.orcadian.co.uk/armed-guards-take-on-orkneys-goose-problem/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 30 August, 2021, 10:49:09 am
https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/19535054.southend-seafront-swarmed-tiny-bugs/?ref=ar

Quote
It is believed some of the insects were storm flies, while some were an unknown, green coloured larvae.

Where do you start with bollocks like this?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 August, 2021, 02:06:36 pm
Bloody Deliveroo scooterboyz, costing cops cakes. (https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/police-officer-drives-off-with-helmet-still-on-top-of-patrol-car/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 September, 2021, 03:49:49 pm
Quote
Five Mr Bumps have been spotted so far: three along the Trym between Shirehampton Road and Sea Mills harbour, one on the Portway, and one on the banks of the Avon.

They have become quite a talking point, with blogger Luke Merrett even devising a 6.7 km running route which takes in all five.
I'm sure these have every bit as much meaning as, say, crop circles, but a Mr Bump running route seems like asking for trouble!
https://www.bristol247.com/culture/art/what-is-mr-bump-doing-in-bristol/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 04 September, 2021, 03:57:22 pm
Quote
Five Mr Bumps have been spotted so far: three along the Trym between Shirehampton Road and Sea Mills harbour, one on the Portway, and one on the banks of the Avon.

They have become quite a talking point, with blogger Luke Merrett even devising a 6.7 km running route which takes in all five.
I'm sure these have every bit as much meaning as, say, crop circles, but a Mr Bump running route seems like asking for trouble!
https://www.bristol247.com/culture/art/what-is-mr-bump-doing-in-bristol/ (https://www.bristol247.com/culture/art/what-is-mr-bump-doing-in-bristol/)


https://twitter.com/beardedjourno/status/1433706594869596188?s=20


"Fact of the day: in France, Mr Bump is known as Monsieur Malchance; and to Norwegians, he is called Herr Dumpidump"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 September, 2021, 04:45:31 pm
Mr Dumpidump is a great name.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 08 September, 2021, 12:48:26 pm
https://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/2021-08-10/telecommunications-mast-in-north-yorkshire-has-caught-fire (https://www.itv.com/news/tyne-tees/2021-08-10/telecommunications-mast-in-north-yorkshire-has-caught-fire)


https://www.richmondshiretoday.co.uk/minimum-of-two-months-to-replace-bilsdale-transmitter-meeting-told/


Not going to be a quick fix. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 September, 2021, 04:12:24 pm
Jaded has been trying to improve the GWR travelling experience.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19579257.passenger-plugs-giant-lamp-train-journey-london/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 15 September, 2021, 02:29:01 pm
Mildly surprised that passenger-available sockets were provided.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 September, 2021, 02:41:16 pm
For commuters' laptops and everyone's phones.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 15 September, 2021, 08:08:15 pm
For commuters' laptops and everyone's phones.

Unless someone tries to run a hair-drier off it, and the breaker trips and they all stop working.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 September, 2021, 09:05:45 pm
For commuters' laptops and everyone's phones.

Unless someone tries to run a hair-drier off it, and the breaker trips and they all stop working.
DAHKKT
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: L CC on 16 September, 2021, 03:13:14 pm
For commuters' laptops and everyone's phones.

Unless someone tries to run a hair-drier off it, and the breaker trips and they all stop working.
DAHKKT
Emergency heat-shrink repairs, I'll bet
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 September, 2021, 03:17:51 pm
For commuters' laptops and everyone's phones.

Unless someone tries to run a hair-drier off it, and the breaker trips and they all stop working.
DAHKKT
Emergency heat-shrink repairs, I'll bet
After having modifyied the on board announcement system to remove those annoying "See it, say it, sorted" messages.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Zipperhead on 16 September, 2021, 04:02:09 pm
For commuters' laptops and everyone's phones.

Unless someone tries to run a hair-drier off it, and the breaker trips and they all stop working.
DAHKKT

Hair dryer as a euphemism?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 16 September, 2021, 09:01:41 pm
You don't think Kim tried to charge her electric car from a train?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 18 September, 2021, 07:15:08 pm
Shock as woman walks to Burger King (https://www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/glasgow-news/glasgow-woman-walks-through-burger-21608509).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 18 September, 2021, 08:35:48 pm
Not only that, but she bought juice and drank it!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 September, 2021, 02:26:37 pm
Hilarious! Bizarre!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 27 September, 2021, 05:08:59 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/white-stag-dies-after-running-21688052


That's rather sad.  Poor thing must have come from the nearby Rimrose Valley Park http://www.rimrosevalleyfriends.org/map/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 October, 2021, 12:59:19 pm
Oh look, more statue news making a splash (sorry) in Bristol. The first public sculpture of a Black woman made by a Black woman in the UK (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/henrietta-lacks-statue-black-mother-6007102)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 October, 2021, 02:16:29 pm
Bristol is like San Francisco. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/celebs-tv/outlaws-stephen-merchant-told-christopher-6014398)
Quote
I said, 'It's a bit like San Francisco, it's got the bridge and it's on the water, it's very hilly. We've got beautiful weather like California.'
Errrmmm...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 October, 2021, 06:23:45 pm
California, Birmingham (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California,_Birmingham) presumably.  Though I reckon Brizzle is windier.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 05 October, 2021, 06:29:43 pm
Or:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California,_Falkirk

"The Sunshine Village"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 October, 2021, 07:25:15 pm
We have a Hollywood just outside Bristol, with a fancy tower:
https://www.flickr.com/photos/pix-from-paul/10646886226

But in terms of weather, Mark Twain never visited Bristol.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 05 October, 2021, 08:03:38 pm
We've got a Hollywood too, but it's completely unremarkable.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 05 October, 2021, 08:06:08 pm
We hired our wedding car from the one near Kim many years ago. Hollywood Cars really isn't as glamorous as it sounds.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 05 October, 2021, 09:46:55 pm
We’ve got a California here in Woodbridge although the California in Ipswich has a social club and everything.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 October, 2021, 09:48:19 pm
A social club? Ipswich is basically Buena Vista of the Stangles.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 06 October, 2021, 11:31:40 am
I thought _I_ had a problem with an untidy home & too many books.....    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/113955122#
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 October, 2021, 12:08:30 pm
It looks as if someone was using it as overflow storage for a secondhand bookshop. Toxteth, the Hay-on-Wye of Merseyside. But what I don't understand is where did they keep their bikes? Is there a shed? There must be a shed! Looks prime "gentrification" territory too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 06 October, 2021, 12:17:24 pm
Hartington St is prime student territory, so that will probably be turned into a HMO rather than a private dwelling  :(   


I used to go out with a woman who lived on Hartington. Lovely view of the adjacent cemetery from her flat…
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 06 October, 2021, 12:20:16 pm
That’s a LOT of house for £125k, you’d pay more than that for a cramped building plot around here.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 October, 2021, 12:48:51 pm
Ha! Just searched "property for £125k" in bs6, for the lols and lulz, it interpreted this £1.25m.

Students, in any case, are the outrunners of gentrification. They come in to study and within a month they're down at the cereal cafe paying £6.50 for mashed avocado on sourdough toast.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 06 October, 2021, 12:58:05 pm
That area off Smithdown Road has always been very student heavy, but the increasing number of them, and stories of increasing poor behaviour are causing lots of unhappiness. 


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/residents-wits-end-student-parties-21719911
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Peter on 06 October, 2021, 01:02:43 pm
Ha! Just searched "property for £125k" in bs6, for the lols and lulz, it interpreted this £1.25m.

Students, in any case, are the outrunners of gentrification. They come in to study and within a month they're down at the cereal cafe paying £6.50 for mashed avocado on sourdough toast.

BA - batchelor of artisan
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 06 October, 2021, 03:11:58 pm
I thought _I_ had a problem with an untidy home & too many books.....    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/113955122#

That's quite some hoarder house...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 06 October, 2021, 04:40:37 pm
I thought _I_ had a problem with an untidy home & too many books.....    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/113955122#

I just sent this to #2 son in Cardiff.  Viewing on his house start later this week.

Re the toxteth house. I can only imagine that someone has died. With no close relatives.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 October, 2021, 05:56:44 pm
I thought _I_ had a problem with an untidy home & too many books.....    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/113955122#

I just sent this to #2 son in Cardiff.  Viewing on his house start later this week.

Re the toxteth house. I can only imagine that someone has died. With no close relatives.

Dying with that many books means they won, thobut.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on 06 October, 2021, 06:26:30 pm
Need the boys round from Fahrenheit 451 ...

More seriously, where do you get rid of books these days?  Charity shops seem to have stopped taking them.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on 06 October, 2021, 07:18:57 pm
The story that caught my eye this week was about passengers mutineering  on a train which they forced to reverse back to Swindon after it didn't stop there. You would think they'd be pleased  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 06 October, 2021, 08:54:29 pm
The story that caught my eye this week was about passengers mutineering  on a train which they forced to reverse back to Swindon after it didn't stop there. You would think they'd be pleased  :D
I can’t see how a train would be reversed without a lot of hooha, so I think it’s probably a made up story.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 06 October, 2021, 09:05:16 pm
I thought _I_ had a problem with an untidy home & too many books.....    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/113955122#

"Three Story Detached House". I reckon there are more than three stories in there! ;D

(Crazy cheap though! :o)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 October, 2021, 09:19:10 pm
The story that caught my eye this week was about passengers mutineering  on a train which they forced to reverse back to Swindon after it didn't stop there. You would think they'd be pleased  :D
I can’t see how a train would be reversed without a lot of hooha, so I think it’s probably a made up story.
It is true. Several passengers pulled the communication cord, stopping the train. In fact, because several of them pulled it, the driver had to keep resetting it before he could go anywhere (in any direction). It happened because of stops being added then taken away, basically.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 06 October, 2021, 09:30:42 pm
It is crazy cheap, but that’s an auction, if it goes for less than a quarter mill I’ll be amazed.  Comparable size properties around there are expensive.  It’s a bit rough towards the studenty bit and close to the Tocky badlands, but also close to Sefton Park & handy for town & the bars & restaurants on Allerton Rd. 


I think Liverpool was recently named as the “best bang for you buck” if you were a BTL landlord.  There are 3 bedroom flats were I live, that would cost approx £100k to buy being rented out for £380 per room.  I’m quite tempted to buy one & supplement my pension.





https://www.rightmove.co.uk/sold-prices/photos/property-66130700.html?photoIndex=0 (https://www.rightmove.co.uk/sold-prices/photos/property-66130700.html?photoIndex=0)


https://www.rightmove.co.uk/sold-prices/photos/property-82454971.html?photoIndex=0 (https://www.rightmove.co.uk/sold-prices/photos/property-82454971.html?photoIndex=0)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ashaman42 on 06 October, 2021, 10:27:30 pm
Need the boys round from Fahrenheit 451 ...

More seriously, where do you get rid of books these days?  Charity shops seem to have stopped taking them.
Get rid of books? I don't understand!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: graculus on 08 October, 2021, 02:29:53 pm
Everyone involved has exercised great resistance to temptation in the reporting of this:
https://www.expressandstar.com/news/crime/2021/10/08/stolen-cars-found-chopped-up-in-hgv-driven-by-disqualified-driver-with-one-leg/ (https://www.expressandstar.com/news/crime/2021/10/08/stolen-cars-found-chopped-up-in-hgv-driven-by-disqualified-driver-with-one-leg/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Paul on 08 October, 2021, 05:06:26 pm
I fear he won’t have a leg to stand on.

(Someone had to start it off)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 08 October, 2021, 06:11:05 pm
Was he breathalysed and found to be over the limit?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 October, 2021, 08:09:17 pm
Did the Great White Queen Over The Sea smoke weed when she was younger?
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/huge-cannabis-like-plants-spotted-6076407
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 18 October, 2021, 11:01:48 pm
Police admitted to being absolutely stumped.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 18 October, 2021, 11:03:43 pm
Strokes chin. Chopped up Rancid Rovers are worth more than whole ones!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 22 October, 2021, 09:20:28 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-59003006 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-59003006)
Fisherman's Friend
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrew Br on 22 October, 2021, 10:50:27 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-59003006 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-59003006)
Fisherman's Friend

Certainly Fleetwood's Friend.
Most times (this year was the only exception because the tides were favourable for the Knott End ferry) the Manchester-Blackpool FNRttC has gone past the Fisherman's Friends factory.
It always smells like, well, a Fisherman's Friend.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on 23 October, 2021, 10:03:37 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-59003006 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-59003006)
Fisherman's Friend

Certainly Fleetwood's Friend.
Most times (this year was the only exception because the tides were favourable for the Knott End ferry) the Manchester-Blackpool FNRttC has gone past the Fisherman's Friends factory.
It always smells like, well, a Fisherman's Friend.

My grandfather came from Fleetwood and was always eating the lozenges as an antidote to 70+ years of smoking. I was surprised when I first found out they are sold outside Lancashire.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on 23 October, 2021, 11:33:19 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-59003006 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-59003006)
Fisherman's Friend
Certainly Fleetwood's Friend.
Most times (this year was the only exception because the tides were favourable for the Knott End ferry) the Manchester-Blackpool FNRttC has gone past the Fisherman's Friends factory.
It always smells like, well, a Fisherman's Friend.
My grandfather came from Fleetwood and was always eating the lozenges as an antidote to 70+ years of smoking. I was surprised when I first found out they are sold outside Lancashire.

It seems they're sold in Danish pharmacies, according to Woolly.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrew Br on 23 October, 2021, 02:08:35 pm
My Swedish colleague had a packet of them when we were in Germany a couple of weeks ago.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 23 October, 2021, 02:17:42 pm
Well the Swedes do like salmiak, licorice flavored with ammonium chloride so........
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 23 October, 2021, 06:07:19 pm
More shockingly for a Lancastrian delicacy they’re sold openly in Yorkshire.  :o

I used to buy them from the newsagent when the milkman I worked for stopped to buy his small cigars.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 27 October, 2021, 09:01:21 am
I thought _I_ had a problem with an untidy home & too many books.....    https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/113955122# (https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/113955122#)

That's quite some hoarder house...


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/four-bedroom-hoarders-house-sale-21974965
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on 28 October, 2021, 02:43:11 pm
Who's been a naughty boy then?

Quote
Amersham escape artist micro pig fathers 71 piglets

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-59075971
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 30 October, 2021, 01:15:15 pm
New pet rules in Stroud.

https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/19681391.cockerels-banned-council-houses-stroud/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 November, 2021, 09:00:41 am
Jobsworths of the month: https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19681974.gas-firm-wales-west-finishes-bus-stop-road-markings-online-backlash/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 November, 2021, 12:49:56 pm
"Mischievous badgers" close cycle path: https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bristol-bath-railway-path-close-6175056
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 November, 2021, 01:23:40 pm
"Mischievous badgers" close cycle path: https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bristol-bath-railway-path-close-6175056

I was expecting a Silly Sustrans Gate™ constructed from goalposts...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 November, 2021, 05:51:17 pm
"Mischievous badgers" close cycle path: https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bristol-bath-railway-path-close-6175056

I was expecting a Silly Sustrans Gate™ constructed from goalposts...
A couple of Saturdays ago, I saw some people (probably students) on the Downs playing quidditch. TBH I probably wouldn't have known what it was if someone hadn't pointed it out to me. I've just about to start devizing a sport called badgerball. Goals will be scored by rolling down a hill and knocking cyclists between posts (recumbents count double).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 08 November, 2021, 05:56:41 pm
We had a BHPC race at dePreston a few years ago where quiddich was being played on the ballsports area inside the track.  We were warned to beware of wols, muggles etc. in the pre-race safety briefing.

Badgerball sounds like an ideal subject for a Megadrive game.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 November, 2021, 06:05:33 pm
I thought wols were a feature of Winnie the Pooh?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 08 November, 2021, 08:20:45 pm
When my eldest was at Uni, he said that the Quidditch Society got really miffed that the Sports Union weren't keen to recognise them, and people generally took the mickey out of them. They thought it was a serious sporting endeavour.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 08 November, 2021, 08:27:53 pm
When my oaves started out at Edinburgh, the Quidditch Soc would do their thing in the Meadows.
Charging around on broomsticks, with goal hoops set up on sticks.

It did look faintly ludicrous, but I'm sure there was Butterbeer involved.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 November, 2021, 12:12:37 pm
Gloucestershire police stake out man with bins as suspect in Roman murder case!
https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/19708314.not-exactly-peyton-place---kemble-reacts-discovery-human-remains/?ref=rss
Quote
The bones have been sent to be tested and carbon dated, although the location is close to an ancient burial site and the layout of the bones is consistent with Roman burial.

Quote
"The police are still driving around now. I was putting my neighbours bins away and the police were watching me."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 November, 2021, 12:34:50 pm
BIIINNNSSS!!1!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 11 November, 2021, 04:40:57 pm
Ah yes, it’s bin day. Thank you Mr L, a timely reminder
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 11 November, 2021, 04:45:37 pm
Gloucestershire police stake out man with bins as suspect in Roman murder case!
https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/19708314.not-exactly-peyton-place---kemble-reacts-discovery-human-remains/?ref=rss
Quote
The bones have been sent to be tested and carbon dated, although the location is close to an ancient burial site and the layout of the bones is consistent with Roman burial.

Quote
"The police are still driving around now. I was putting my neighbours bins away and the police were watching me."
My cousin (2nd) put the remains of his girlfriend in the bin after he failed to flush them down the loo. She was called Kirby though, not Kembly as I’d first misremembered when seeing this story.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 November, 2021, 05:26:01 pm
 :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 November, 2021, 03:14:10 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19713100.grandparents-anger-family-friendly-mcdonalds-100-parking-charge/

If you have a problem child on your hands, Maccy D's is not the best place for counselling, it transpires.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 13 November, 2021, 07:30:47 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19713100.grandparents-anger-family-friendly-mcdonalds-100-parking-charge/

If you have a problem child on your hands, Maccy D's is not the best place for counselling, it transpires.

There's something of sublime brilliance to

Quote
But after a lengthy process of getting her to open up about her issues, during which they purchased food and drink, the Rodbourne couple stayed thirty minutes longer than they were allowed, earning a £100 parking charge.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 14 November, 2021, 11:23:16 am
https://www.grimsbytelegraph.co.uk/news/grimsby-news/anger-weelsby-road-cycle-lane-6197472

My heart bleeds for them! ;D :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 17 November, 2021, 09:35:03 am
https://www.cheshire-live.co.uk/news/chester-cheshire-news/dads-army-gaffe-cheshire-idea-22184994


https://twitter.com/Otto_English/status/1460884259909083139?s=20


Hire a tank & crash it into the war memorial....  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 November, 2021, 10:55:41 am
Even without the handbrake gaffe, is a tank appropriate at a Remembrance Day service? Seems to me that remembering the dead is becoming more like those May Day parades of armoury beloved of Soviet, Chinese and North Korean leaders.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: TimC on 17 November, 2021, 11:02:54 am
Even without the handbrake gaffe, is a tank appropriate at a Remembrance Day service? Seems to me that remembering the dead is becoming more like those May Day parades of armoury beloved of Soviet, Chinese and North Korean leaders.

A civilian-operated AFV is certainly inappropriate. However, the military has always been very prominent at Remembrance Day/Sunday parades, which is entirely appropriate.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 November, 2021, 11:41:00 am
ISTR Lincoln Council wouldn’t let TV's Guy Martin take his replica WW1 tank to their Remembrance Day parade.  The rotters.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 November, 2021, 04:27:52 pm
Even without the handbrake gaffe, is a tank appropriate at a Remembrance Day service? Seems to me that remembering the dead is becoming more like those May Day parades of armoury beloved of Soviet, Chinese and North Korean leaders.

A civilian-operated AFV is certainly inappropriate. However, the military has always been very prominent at Remembrance Day/Sunday parades, which is entirely appropriate.
Of course, because it's ultimately about them and their comrades. But it is about them not their hardware.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 17 November, 2021, 04:43:08 pm
https://www.cheshire-live.co.uk/news/chester-cheshire-news/dads-army-gaffe-cheshire-idea-22184994


https://twitter.com/Otto_English/status/1460884259909083139?s=20


Hire a tank & crash it into the war memorial....  :facepalm:

Quote
one villager saying: "I think it was in poor taste.

"Apparently they didn't get permission in the first place.

"They should have known better but I think it was done to make themselves look good."

Sums it up. The British legion are very short of funds - so this guy decides to spend £950 on hiring a tank so he can hoon it round the village?

Tosser. Donate the money to british legion or SSAFA next time.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on 22 November, 2021, 05:37:56 pm
Not quite sure where to put this. It’s provincial, but...

This Italian anti-vaxxerr is one of the half-baked loons who dragged Joe McCarron, very ill with COVID, from Letterkenny Hospital back in September. Dosed him up with cow wormer reportedly, and of course he died soon after, having needed readmission. McCarron was himself a COVID denier.

https://donegalnews.com/2021/11/i-am-the-king-declares-defendant/

Quote
A Galway man has told Letterkenny District Court that he is the king and Judge Raymond Finnegan is “a public servant”.
Antonio Meruddu (44) Of The Headford Arms, Headford, Galway, appeared in court on Monday after being pulled over by Garda Michael Kilcoyne and charged with no insurance, having a false regulation mark and failing to provide information.
The red Alfa Romeo he was driving had the number plate ‘The I Job’ instead of the proper registration number.

Meruddu reiterated that he was not giving the court consent to try him.
“I am the king, you are the public servant,” he said before leaving the courtroom.


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 22 November, 2021, 06:09:12 pm
Not quite sure where to put this. It’s provincial, but...

This Italian anti-vaxxerr is one of the half-baked loons who dragged Joe McCarron, very ill with COVID, from Letterkenny Hospital back in September. Dosed him up with cow wormer reportedly, and of course he died soon after, having needed readmission. McCarron was himself a COVID denier.

https://donegalnews.com/2021/11/i-am-the-king-declares-defendant/

Quote
A Galway man has told Letterkenny District Court that he is the king and Judge Raymond Finnegan is “a public servant”.
Antonio Meruddu (44) Of The Headford Arms, Headford, Galway, appeared in court on Monday after being pulled over by Garda Michael Kilcoyne and charged with no insurance, having a false regulation mark and failing to provide information.
The red Alfa Romeo he was driving had the number plate ‘The I Job’ instead of the proper registration number.

Meruddu reiterated that he was not giving the court consent to try him.
“I am the king, you are the public servant,” he said before leaving the courtroom.

WTAF?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 November, 2021, 06:13:04 pm
If the Headford Arms is a Pubbe then I put it to the court that Mr Meruddu is in fact his own best customer.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 November, 2021, 06:17:03 pm
This is the bonus of corona – it's getting all the loonies to out themselves.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 03 December, 2021, 10:47:10 am
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10270067/Man-seeks-medical-help-artillery-shell-lodged-rectum.html


"slipped & fell on it"....   


Let the bum jokes commence!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 03 December, 2021, 11:11:15 am
Sorry, not really a joke: I'm just wondering how big a dose of lead he'll absorb a posteriori.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 03 December, 2021, 11:35:47 am
Maybe it was wearing a condom?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 December, 2021, 12:45:25 pm
Sounds like a rim shot.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 04 December, 2021, 09:34:03 am
Not sure whether this belongs in the first-world problems thread, but...my heart bleeds for them. ::-)

Cambridge students 'complain of settling for shop-bought cakes' as college has no pastry chef (https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/cambridge-students-complain-settling-shop-22356117)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 December, 2021, 05:38:44 pm
Not sure whether this belongs in the first-world problems thread, but...my heart bleeds for them. ::-)

Cambridge students 'complain of settling for shop-bought cakes' as college has no pastry chef (https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/cambridge-news/cambridge-students-complain-settling-shop-22356117)

The colleges are notorious for under paying staff.

In a time when restaurants are upping pay and perks, there is no surprise that the colleges are losing staff.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 07 December, 2021, 09:16:09 am
Yes, this one is slightly more serious than the majority of stuff in this thread. Potential terrorist takes laptop to shop for mending (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-59554354)

Quote
The jury was told he was reluctant to leave his laptop to be repaired and had asked the owner to "promise not to look at the data on the computer"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 December, 2021, 11:15:47 am
That’s got to be up there with Mohammed A. Salameh (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohammed_A._Salameh) trotting off to Ryder to ask for his rental van deposit back after the World Trade Centre bombing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 December, 2021, 11:39:09 am
Terrorism top tip: Hide your explosives manual in a folder of goat pr0n before b0rking your computer.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 07 December, 2021, 12:14:58 pm
That’s got to be up there with Mohammed A. Salameh (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohammed_A._Salameh) trotting off to Ryder to ask for his rental van deposit back after the World Trade Centre bombing.
Hadn't read those details before.

Terrorists so bloody incompetent that they can't even drive a car.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 December, 2021, 06:31:48 pm
The Bristol Post has perpetrated some absolutely top grade journalism, by illustrating this headline:
Quote
Stressed council staff would 'rather stack shelves at Asda'

with this photograph:
(https://i2-prod.leicestermercury.co.uk/sport/rugby/rugby-news/article5637016.ece/ALTERNATES/s540/1_TigersEngland-6.jpg)

Clicking on the article reveals that it is actually about the subject in the photo, not the headline.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 December, 2021, 01:08:03 pm
Earlier this year, Bristol was likened to San Francisco on the grounds that both have hills, a famous bridge and, allegedly, a cool, hip vibe. But Teh Capital of the West of England is not content with Silicon Valley. Oh no! First we take Haight-Ashbury, then we take Manhattan (Berlin has to wait a bit).
Quote
Committee chair Richard Eddy admitted the plans were controversial, but said he thought they suited and enhanced the prominent central city location.

“Castle Park in my view is a bit like New York Central Park, so large buildings surrounding it may be appropriate and may actually add to the attractiveness of the location,” the Conservative councillor said.
https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/st-mary-le-port-development-plans-split-opinion/

New York's Central Park needs no introduction, for reference here is Bristol's Castle Park on google maps: https://goo.gl/maps/3NDEXAfUdSBgkZuRA

It has to also be admitted that Councillor Eddy has form for dickish remarks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 December, 2021, 05:34:14 pm
https://www.northwichguardian.co.uk/news/19802592.northwich-woman-jailed-cocaine-fuelled-sex-dog/

Love, that's not how you go "dogging".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 December, 2021, 05:44:30 pm
https://www.northwichguardian.co.uk/news/19802592.northwich-woman-jailed-cocaine-fuelled-sex-dog/

Love, that's not how you go "dogging".

Took the police two years to work out how to search a laptop for jpegs, thobut.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 December, 2021, 05:51:36 pm
How to make an Alsatian cross.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Hot Flatus on 23 December, 2021, 06:12:35 pm
https://www.northwichguardian.co.uk/news/19802592.northwich-woman-jailed-cocaine-fuelled-sex-dog/

Love, that's not how you go "dogging".

Took the police two years to work out how to search a laptop for jpegs, thobut.

You wait till JK Rowling hears about this...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 December, 2021, 03:52:45 pm
Dad goes to Indian restaurant on Christmas Day then complains food’s not ‘traditional’ (https://www.stokesentinel.co.uk/news/stoke-on-trent-news/dad-goes-indian-restaurant-christmas-6407976).  Stoke.  Enuff said.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrew Br on 27 December, 2021, 04:46:15 pm
Stoke paper but the restaurant is actually in Bury.
If I'm ever up that way and wanting a curry, I'll make a point of going there; it seems to get good reviews and, as the manager has pointed out, it's hard running businesses like his these days.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 December, 2021, 04:50:11 pm
Also the website on which the tale appeared is run by the craptacularly useless Reach plc whose webby SCIENCE does not play nicely with fondleslabs, so I could barely get beyond the headlines before the page reloaded five times and then b0rked.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 December, 2021, 04:52:54 pm
Reach media sites don't open well on a laptop either. Too many autoplaying videos and other shit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 December, 2021, 06:27:48 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/dec/28/stripe-the-bitey-squirrel-meets-a-sad-end-after-terrorising-welsh-town
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 December, 2021, 10:40:28 pm
I think a tree rat has taken up residence in the upper storeys of Fort Larrington, specifically right above my bed  >:(  Whatever manner of beastie, critter or, as it were, varmint it might be, it's a noisy little bastard.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 29 December, 2021, 12:48:17 am
You’re all right as long as it isn’t bats. You can’t get rid of bats because the have rights you know. Everything else is fair game though; I recommended a 410 to start with as it’ll make less of a ,ess of your ceiling.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 29 December, 2021, 01:14:11 am
If only the forum had a resident squirrel eviction expert...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 29 December, 2021, 10:49:21 am
I suggest a humane trap, then give it to the RSPCA who will do the dastardly deed for you, it being illegal to release a grey squirrel into the wild
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orraloon on 29 December, 2021, 11:20:02 am
One of those mouses with the v heavy boots?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 December, 2021, 11:39:02 am
Isn’t it clogs that meeces wear?

(Googles)

Apparently only in Old Amsterdam.  As you were.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on 29 December, 2021, 12:46:11 pm
I suggest a humane trap, then give it to the RSPCA who will do the dastardly deed for you, it being illegal to release a grey squirrel into the wild

Rather than shirking the dirty deed onto someone else who really doesn't want to do it, we bought a proper squirrel trap.  The deceased American tree rat (I refuse to grace the evil interloper vermin with the name squirrels, which as everyone knows, are red and cute) makes excellent food for the red kites, and buzzards round here.  If more appear, they'll get the same treatment.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MikeFromLFE on 31 December, 2021, 04:07:08 pm
It all got a bit weird in Ipswich (sound on)  :hand:

https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/nursery-rhyme-near-a12-scaring-residents-2817848
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 31 December, 2021, 11:07:41 pm
It all got a bit weird in Ipswich (sound on)  :hand:

https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/nursery-rhyme-near-a12-scaring-residents-2817848

That's old news Shirley?

Quote
Published: 8:27 AM September 12, 2018 Updated: 8:55 PM October 11, 2020

Curious.  Wonder what the update was...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 January, 2022, 04:04:18 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19822920.rescued-unicorn-toy-becomes-swindon-internet-sensation/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 January, 2022, 02:10:02 pm
Man gives up cycling because communists force him to breathe clean air. (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/bath-clean-air-zone-forces-6465939)
Quote
Ian told SomersetLive: "I would cycle to work and back every day, I’d cycle to the pub, cycle to meet my mates. I rarely used a vehicle.

"I had saved up to buy my 1999 Mazda Bongo van and then done up it inside, so it was a very personal thing and I had stopped it from going to landfill.

"But it wasn’t compliant with the Clean Air Zone, so every single time I left my house I was fined £9 - which I thought was a bit communist really.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 17 January, 2022, 07:02:49 am
Squirrels you say?

https://twitter.com/dxvidjb/status/1482439660714528777?t=L6XURqvYqEvopEl-eukRgg&s=19
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 17 January, 2022, 01:13:35 pm


use the heads for golf...

What happens to the internal organs?

Makes a change from bad beer...

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 January, 2022, 03:27:45 pm
The internal organs are available as protein snacks. £10 for 100g, £35 for 200g.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 January, 2022, 10:52:21 am
Real Rise Of The Machines stuff in Cambridge.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-60084347
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 22 January, 2022, 11:42:17 am
Real Rise Of The Machines stuff in Cambridge.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-60084347

<ObligRegistercomment> I, for one, welcome our new Roomba overlords.  :D <ObligRegistercomment>
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 22 January, 2022, 03:32:09 pm
Toaster works. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-60054105)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on 22 January, 2022, 06:09:51 pm
Toaster works. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-60054105)

"He said J H May has a "fantastic guy there called Luke".

"He's really into complex electronics and he fixes it every time," said Mr James."

Hmmm ...

(Lovely story though  :) )
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 22 January, 2022, 09:31:31 pm
I'm sure there'll be a whole exhibit on the electronic complexity of 1940s toasters in Arch's toaster museum.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 January, 2022, 09:27:42 pm
Never mind your prosecco or even Bristol cream, it's all claret here:
Quote
I am white socially liberal/fiscally conservative claret-loving capitalist who thinks this administration regularly fails on competence, accountability and transparency - and I am not mad about skyscrapers either.       
Replies to this comment
Oldbristolian-5149
Monday Jan 24, 2022 - 7:26pm
Claret
Now your talking
Friday night at my house. Bristol Rugby on TV and none of this matters anymore.
Amen Brother Lynch
https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/renewed-calls-for-merchant-venturers-to-relinquish-control-of-downs/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 28 January, 2022, 02:04:04 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jan/28/essex-rebrand-vajazzle-money

I love the cartoon above this Graun article.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 January, 2022, 04:03:52 pm
Quote
You can’t go back to the past and expect to find it preserved in aspic

O RLY?  That’s the UKIPs' manifesto and thus by extension the Tory one too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 03 February, 2022, 05:38:15 pm
Branches fall off tree in countryside.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19896948.popular-wroughton-chicken-tree-landmark-decapitated/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 February, 2022, 06:21:26 pm
Quote
The 'chicken tree', so-called because of its likeness to the farmyard animal

And there was me thinking that it ran away and hid if you said "Boo!" to it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 08 February, 2022, 02:14:10 pm
Asda car park in Llandudno blocked by fighting goats: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-60300004
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 February, 2022, 02:29:41 pm
Asda car park in Llandudno blocked by fighting goats: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-60300004
Could make a video and sell it to unsuspecting perverts as "When Horny Welshmen Go Wild In Town".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 08 February, 2022, 03:04:00 pm
Asda car park in Llandudno blocked by fighting goats: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-60300004

Bingly-bongly goats: yes or no?  And does A Valverde (92) know about this? (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=112629.msg2412863#msg2412863)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 09 February, 2022, 12:39:35 pm
Move along, nothing to see (https://www.crawleyobserver.co.uk/news/transport/stalled-bus-in-horsham-no-longer-blocking-worthing-road-picts-hill-3560128)

Stalled bus in Horsham no longer blocking Worthing Road Picts Hill
A stalled bus is no longer blocking both directions on the B2237 Worthing Road Picts Hill, it has been reported.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 February, 2022, 07:21:59 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/19923984.heart-shaped-potato-found-swindon-morrisons-valentines-day/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 01 March, 2022, 01:50:59 pm
It isn't Swindon! (it isn't Bristol either)

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/mum-uks-biggest-eyebrows-threatened-6733609
Title: Re: Little Eyebrow On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 March, 2022, 01:57:07 pm
It isn't Swindon! (it isn't Bristol either)

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/mum-uks-biggest-eyebrows-threatened-6733609

You missed a prime opportunity to edit the subject line there.
Title: Re: Little Eyebrow On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 01 March, 2022, 02:51:58 pm
It isn't Swindon! (it isn't Bristol either)

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/mum-uks-biggest-eyebrows-threatened-6733609

You missed a prime opportunity to edit the subject line there.

It's all a bit Groucho Marx, innit.
Title: Re: Little Eyebrow On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 01 March, 2022, 02:55:41 pm
It isn't Swindon! (it isn't Bristol either)

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/mum-uks-biggest-eyebrows-threatened-6733609

You missed a prime opportunity to edit the subject line there.

It's all a bit Groucho Marx, innit.

This is my thread title. If you don't like it, I have others?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 01 March, 2022, 04:17:21 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jakob on 02 March, 2022, 09:34:00 pm
Meanwhile, in Cambridge (Ontario)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/t45jvu/when_youre_driving_to_wendys_but_get_into_a_car/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 March, 2022, 01:33:53 am
Meanwhile, in Cambridge (Ontario)
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/t45jvu/when_youre_driving_to_wendys_but_get_into_a_car/

Oh. I have to be 18 to see that.

What does it say?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on 04 March, 2022, 05:40:04 pm
Family gutted after 50 mile journey in the rain to 'disappointing' real life Emmerdale village

https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/local-news/family-gutted-after-50-mile-23288543
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 05 March, 2022, 10:06:52 am
Disappointed that it looked like Emmerdale in the '90s. Filming stopped there in '96, so what did you expect?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 09 March, 2022, 06:40:42 pm
Don't you monkey with the monkey ! 


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/horrified-mums-tiktok-monkey-battering-23332922     Warning.  Slightly gruesome,  depending upon on how much you like seagulls


"Chester Zoo monkey batters seagull to death as horrified family looks on"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 09 March, 2022, 11:28:57 pm
"but it's natural. It's what happens in nature"

Yup. Monkeys in nature climb telegraph poles and "batter the f*** out of a seagull"

I don't believe it.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 10 March, 2022, 09:30:41 am
A monkey stole my ice cream once, swooped and snatched it out of my hand and hoisted it back up in a tree where it sat there, giving me the eye, and started to slowly eat it. Then another monkey dropped on its head, grabbed the stolen ice cream and shoved it in its gob in one go. It was worth losing my ice cream to that smug simian to see that happen. Not so smug afterwards.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 10 March, 2022, 01:20:18 pm
A seagull stole my pasty. It swooped in battered me about the head with its wings, grabbed my half eaten pasty out of my hand and flew off. Bastard.

That monkey looks like a man in a monkey suit if you ask me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 10 March, 2022, 02:01:53 pm
Definitely a monkey. And a smug monkey at that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 10 March, 2022, 05:59:13 pm
A seagull tried to grab a sandwich from me, so I thumped it.

The feathery bastards have become such a nuisance that Bangor and Caernarfon appointed a joint Town Owl to scare them off...a big bugger, Eagle Owl I think. Unfortunarely I haven't seen it for a while.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 March, 2022, 06:13:53 pm
I may have mentioned before $SEASIDE_TOWN that employed $RAPTOR to scare off the shitehawks only for it to go native and join in the thieving and anti-social behaviour.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 March, 2022, 06:16:39 pm
Coincidentally, I had a Mk 1 Herring Gull play seagull chicken with me while cycling this afternoon.  It was on short final over the bus lane to intercept some spilled chips, then appeared to become fixated by my front light.  I decided that, since the abort pattern would doubtless involve a bomb drop and that a collision would hurt it a lot more than it would hurt my Panzerfiets, the best approach was to channel the zen of the Chester Zoo Monkey rather than Ogmios, and engaged ramming speed.  The shitehawk pulled up a fraction too late, and I felt the wing impact my shoe, but I remain unhurt, unfeathered and - more importantly - un shat-on.

*wanders off to add 'bird strike' to the list of cycling wildlife interactions*
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 10 March, 2022, 06:40:49 pm
Roffle and, moreover, LOL.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 11 March, 2022, 06:37:23 pm
Our local Chinese restaurant has been re-named - to the Wang Kei. This caused some considerable merriment amongst some of the ladies on the East Street Massive's Whatsapp chat.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 20 March, 2022, 08:46:11 pm
It's every Englishman's dream to have their own little cottage....


https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/nostalgia/liverpools-lost-public-toilets-what-23394630


I've had many a good bacon butty from the Eatwell.    I remember the underground one in Victoria St, but was never a patron.  A similar one in Manchester is now a popular bar.




Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 March, 2022, 09:20:42 am
They managed to catch a couple of hipsters on fixies gearies outside one.  :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 21 March, 2022, 09:39:14 am
My father was very proud of his knowledge of the locations of public conveniences in his days as a sales rep, although this was in more naive times when middle-class folk didn’t know of cottaging unless they were participants.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 21 March, 2022, 09:26:12 pm
We survived!

Norwegian Sea quake felt 300 miles away in Furryboottoon (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-60821671)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 21 March, 2022, 09:28:09 pm
Norwegian Sea quake felt 300 miles away in Furryboottoon (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-60821671)

Sounds like something from the documentary The Burning Sea
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 March, 2022, 06:59:28 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/20011503.woman-breached-restraining-order-sending-multiple-takeaways-victim/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 24 March, 2022, 06:26:48 pm
William Collins: Giant memorial will need to be changed, council says (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-60866369)

If something's worth overdoing, it's worth overdoing to excess...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 March, 2022, 06:29:13 pm
Quote
replete with solar-powered jukebox,
"What music will you have at your funeral" need not stop at the funeral.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 24 March, 2022, 07:49:22 pm
Beaten by Kim, story of my internet :P

I was about to say

Can we put up a statue? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-60866369 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-60866369)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 24 March, 2022, 08:33:39 pm
Dr Beardy (Mrs) is most impressed with this and feels it would be worthwhile interviewing all 9 children because there’s probably a paper in it. She does have a strange academic interest!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 March, 2022, 02:13:36 pm
https://road.cc/content/news/naked-cyclist-erect-member-seen-gtr-manchester-291407

Priapic pedaller around Manchester.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 26 March, 2022, 03:56:23 pm
The member for Denton obv.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 March, 2022, 08:33:02 pm
This one comes round every year.  It's not even 1 May yet!

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17579831.beware-wiltshire-beauty-spots-used-dogging/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 26 March, 2022, 11:43:40 pm
This one comes round every year.  It's not even 1 May yet!

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17579831.beware-wiltshire-beauty-spots-used-dogging/

Dorcan Industrial estate, Swindon sounds like a great spot.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 March, 2022, 06:45:08 pm
https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/daps-or-plimsolls-we-could-soon-get-definitive-answer-age-old-question/
Really? To anyone who has lived more than six months in Bristol, Gloucestershire or Somerset, it has to be daps.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 30 March, 2022, 08:06:06 pm
This one comes round every year.  It's not even 1 May yet!

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/17579831.beware-wiltshire-beauty-spots-used-dogging/

Dorcan Industrial estate, Swindon sounds like a great spot.
And less than a mile from home!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 01 April, 2022, 11:23:49 pm

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-60958879

Oops...

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 02 April, 2022, 11:46:49 am
I just do not believe that one.  The picture looks altered and there is no ferrari garage in Derby
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: TimC on 02 April, 2022, 01:22:31 pm
I just do not believe that one.  The picture looks altered and there is no ferrari garage in Derby

It’s reported in a few places. However, that’s a 488 - which cannot be brand new as it ceased production in 2020 (replaced by the F8). So if it was new to the driver, it could well have come from a non-Ferrari garage.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 02 April, 2022, 04:55:52 pm
That makes sense.  There is a pre-owned garage not far from there that deals in expensive cars.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 05 April, 2022, 09:56:06 pm
https://www.irishmirror.ie/news/irish-news/irish-barista-ends-up-hospital-26636096?fbclid=IwAR3jFqLKJsY9RH-9NEXEOj9nxXGJ5cc3d8cXl4yK9YEjdaVN2ldGF81zc54

Irish woman hospitalised after withholding farts.

I had to check the date of that article to see that it wasn't 01/04, and it wasn't.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 06 April, 2022, 11:27:09 am
some provincial positivity

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-northern-ireland-60989252 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-northern-ireland-60989252)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 09 April, 2022, 12:30:25 pm
Car parks oddly in Swindon

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/20054989.bad-parking-empty-swindon-designer-outlet-car-park-leaves-shopper-baffled/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 25 April, 2022, 03:11:16 pm
Man has to walk because his ridiculous vehicle isn't ready yet. ::-)

https://www.edinburghlive.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/grandad-forced-school-run-rain-23777718
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 25 April, 2022, 03:21:52 pm
Man has to walk because his ridiculous vehicle isn't ready yet. ::-)

https://www.edinburghlive.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/grandad-forced-school-run-rain-23777718

Normal for Birmingham, where people get tribal anything that's got wheels and has 'Rover' in the name, the way they do about sportsball teams[1] in other places.


[1] Not to diminish the importance of The Blues or The Villa, obviously.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 25 April, 2022, 03:41:46 pm
I know new cars depreciate fast but £10k between headline and text is really impressive.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 25 April, 2022, 03:55:24 pm
Why would he need any car, let alone a Land Rover to do the school run if he’s able to do it on foot? No wonder we’ve got global walking.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 April, 2022, 04:52:15 pm
Isn’t global walking what he’s complaining about?

(http://legslarry.org.uk/BikeStull/coat_48.png)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 25 April, 2022, 08:54:34 pm
Why would he need any car, let alone a Land Rover to do the school run if he’s able to do it on foot? No wonder we’ve got global walking.

But...it might rain! :facepalm:

Someone should tell him about umbrellas.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 25 April, 2022, 09:18:48 pm
Why would he need any car, let alone a Land Rover to do the school run if he’s able to do it on foot? No wonder we’ve got global walking.

But...it might rain! :facepalm:

Someone should tell him about umbrellas.

Regular readers might recall that when all the proper cities were getting bike hire schemes, Birmingham got a Smart car hire scheme...

(https://live.staticflickr.com/8403/8784853958_82391e417d_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/eohF2h)
Car2Go - An Umbrella on Wheels (https://flic.kr/p/eohF2h) by Elliott Brown (https://www.flickr.com/photos/ell-r-brown/), on Flickr

It lasted about a year... (https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/car2go-scrapped-year-after-setting-7167811)

Quote
We’ve listened closely to customer feedback and taking the UK’s strong culture and tradition of private vehicle ownership into account, we have decided to withdraw from the UK marketplace.

BRITISH car culture notwithstanding, there was the fundamental flaw in an hourly rate equivalent to a taxi, and cars you couldn't use to move Stuff.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on 01 May, 2022, 05:13:27 pm
Delays expected in Stratford due to motoring festival  ::-)

https://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/local-news/live-delays-expected-stratford-due-23836689 (https://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/local-news/live-delays-expected-stratford-due-23836689)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 03 May, 2022, 07:28:24 am
https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2021/04/30/this-furious-note-left-on-a-village-library-making-everyones-day-better/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 03 May, 2022, 02:15:49 pm
 The Loch Ness monster is real. (https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/inexplicable-loch-ness-video-shows-26838191)

‘It looked better in real life than it’s turned out on the photos’ said every Nessie spotter ever.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 May, 2022, 04:59:33 pm
That's nearly as convincing as the photo of Ogopogo I snapped a few years ago:

(https://live.staticflickr.com/1894/30632818908_7f81f46c46_z.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/NEVcQ9)
Ogopogo in 2018, yesterday (https://flic.kr/p/NEVcQ9) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 May, 2022, 02:56:22 pm
The sun comes out and so do Swindon's multitudinous public wankers.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/20126890.police-respond-two-calls-indecent-exposure-swindon-beauty-spots-day/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 12 May, 2022, 11:43:40 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-61412523 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-61412523)


Tory Club Death Match. 


False advertising, nobody died.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 14 May, 2022, 02:14:11 pm
https://www.livpost.co.uk/p/why-has-the-adelphi-become-liverpools (https://www.livpost.co.uk/p/why-has-the-adelphi-become-liverpools?s=r&utm_medium=email)


Slow death of a hotel.  It could be magnificent if someone would spend the money.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 May, 2022, 05:54:48 pm
Britannia Hotels are über-pikey.  I've stayed in the Bolton one.  There are notices telling you not to do drugs or to start on the staff.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 09 June, 2022, 07:58:23 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-61747423 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-61747423)

Seal inna boat, having a n
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 09 June, 2022, 10:21:13 pm
https://www.livpost.co.uk/p/why-has-the-adelphi-become-liverpools (https://www.livpost.co.uk/p/why-has-the-adelphi-become-liverpools?s=r&utm_medium=email)


Slow death of a hotel.  It could be magnificent if someone would spend the money.
I stayed there quite a few times when I was working at HMCE. I recall the basement swimming pool very well. The gents' changing room was supervised by a feisty lady who would announce her arrival with a shrill "Cover up lads!"

Without being in any way uncharitable, I doubt that she would have seen anything that she hadn't seen before had we lads not covered up.

I had what could have been a pretty unpleasant mishap when showering in my en suite after a day's customs & excising. I slipped and went flying. There was nothing supplied to prevent the bath (over which the shower was placed) from being as slippery as the proverbial anguilla anguilla.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Zipperhead on 10 June, 2022, 03:00:05 pm
I had what could have been a pretty unpleasant mishap when showering in my en suite after a day's customs & excising. I slipped and went flying. There was nothing supplied to prevent the bath (over which the shower was placed) from being as slippery as the proverbial anguilla anguilla.

Honestly nurse, I really did slip in the shower....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 June, 2022, 10:54:44 am
Up in the far north of Scotland, they have bigger problems than the familiar summer pong of roadkill badgers.

https://www.johnogroat-journal.co.uk/news/community-councillor-kicks-up-a-stink-about-rotting-whale-ne-278325/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 15 June, 2022, 12:24:27 pm
Up in the far north of Scotland, they have bigger problems than the familiar summer pong of roadkill badgers.

https://www.johnogroat-journal.co.uk/news/community-councillor-kicks-up-a-stink-about-rotting-whale-ne-278325/
Could always dynamite it I suppose........   Ohh....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 15 June, 2022, 03:03:01 pm
I would be more concerned as to what killed the whale.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 June, 2022, 03:09:29 pm
I would be more concerned as to what killed the whale.
Yummy Dounreay particles.  Central heating for cetaceans.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 15 June, 2022, 03:38:04 pm
Was a bowl of petunias found nearby ? 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 15 June, 2022, 03:55:49 pm
Well there is the strange contamination plume stuff going on , killing lots of sea life in the NE, the one that the Government is being very cagey about. Said whale could have migrated that way.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 16 June, 2022, 09:05:05 am
Well there is the strange contamination plume stuff going on , killing lots of sea life in the NE, the one that the Government is being very cagey about. Said whale could have migrated that way.
I hadn't heard about this - do you have a link to more information?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 16 June, 2022, 09:11:27 am
There was apparently an article in the Graun this week, that I missed,

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2022/jun/14/failure-to-tackle-teessides-toxic-legacy-is-devastating-for-sea-life-and-livelihoods

but local corespondents are blaming historical heavy industry pollution if seabed silts that may now be getting disturbed by the very fishermen complaining of thee dearth of fish and death of various crustaceans.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 16 June, 2022, 06:22:48 pm
"Killer" bird fails to kill handbag dog

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/20214968.dog-owners-horror-bird-prey-attacks-chihuahua/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 17 June, 2022, 01:22:18 pm
"Killer" bird fails to kill handbag dog

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/20214968.dog-owners-horror-bird-prey-attacks-chihuahua/
That sounds like a reasonable use for the nasty little things.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 21 June, 2022, 06:28:53 pm
Meanwhile, on a school field in Basildon, there was an egg-and-moon race.

https://www.mylondon.news/news/uk-world-news/mum-faceplants-ground-school-sports-24281172
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 24 June, 2022, 01:02:50 pm
In Shanghai, they test drive new car models on the 3rd floor of skyscrapers.

What could go wrong, when driving a test model and relying on windows to stop the car if anything fails?

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-61919581 (https://www.bbc.com/news/business-61919581)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 24 June, 2022, 01:03:31 pm
Obviously the problem was that the car was electric.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 24 June, 2022, 01:23:22 pm
And in the wrong thread - or have I missed the memo informing everyone that the UK had annexed Shanghai Municipality? :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Poacher on 27 June, 2022, 07:32:04 pm
Top Valley, Nottingham is just a bit special.
Cops confiscate illegal electric bike, lad complains to dad, dad drives there pronto to remonstrate with cops, and has his car confiscated for driving without a valid licence.  ;D
https://www.nottinghampost.com/news/nottingham-news/dad-son-vehicles-seized-nottinghamshire-7258986
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 June, 2022, 10:18:47 am
Top Valley, Nottingham is just a bit special.
Cops confiscate illegal electric bike, lad complains to dad, dad drives there pronto to remonstrate with cops, and has his car confiscated for driving without a valid licence.  ;D
https://www.nottinghampost.com/news/nottingham-news/dad-son-vehicles-seized-nottinghamshire-7258986

Surely that is an electric motorbike, not an ebike?

I can't see any pedals on it.

Unreg electric motorbike would be illegal.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 June, 2022, 11:09:15 am
From the same source:

Quote
Reports of man smashing window of house in Nottingham

Hold the front page!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: graculus on 28 June, 2022, 02:11:31 pm
He was fortunate the pile driver didn't topple over on him
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-derbyshire-61924994 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-derbyshire-61924994)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 28 June, 2022, 03:52:00 pm
That is seriously impressive!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 June, 2022, 04:21:30 pm
Ford Crapi finally for sale.  One owner.  Some rust.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/20240289.ford-capri-left-swindon-drive-30-years-finally-moved/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 28 June, 2022, 07:59:00 pm
He was fortunate the pile driver didn't topple over on him
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-derbyshire-61924994 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-derbyshire-61924994)

He's more lucky it didn't ignite, often it's the debris from the hole that causes a spark and ignites the gas.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on 28 June, 2022, 08:06:58 pm
He was fortunate the pile driver didn't topple over on him
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-derbyshire-61924994 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-derbyshire-61924994)

He's more lucky it didn't ignite, often it's the debris from the hole that causes a spark and ignites the gas.

Possibly so much gas present it was above the UEL?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 28 June, 2022, 10:32:38 pm
maybe, doesn't look like a particularly high pressure main either, as no expanding crater afterwards.  That would tend to keep ejecting material to some degree.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 June, 2022, 01:44:06 pm
https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2022/06/29/slow-news-day-funny-bafflingly-banal-headlines/

A veritable compendium of LEOTPs here.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 July, 2022, 11:03:09 pm
Alpkit are not a province, but...
https://alpkit.com/products/swig-bottle
Quote
Key Features
Easy to drink sports bottle lid
Opening for water
BPA free
Invaluable nutritional information*
*from the Alpkit science team
3 Year Alpine Bond
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 04 July, 2022, 01:51:10 pm

TLDR; misbehaving teenager who didn't buy a ticket to the prom isn't allowed in. Parents upset because the little scrote talked them into hiring him a suit and a car.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/schoolboy-devastated-after-finding-out-24380824?fbclid=IwAR3aeSSeyKfBOfOgaZbqBk8xuZTnQMX8yeN25q8znHd-tG-8MOii1j4PdA8 (https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/schoolboy-devastated-after-finding-out-24380824?fbclid=IwAR3aeSSeyKfBOfOgaZbqBk8xuZTnQMX8yeN25q8znHd-tG-8MOii1j4PdA8)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 04 July, 2022, 02:12:30 pm
"Killer" bird fails to kill handbag dog

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/20214968.dog-owners-horror-bird-prey-attacks-chihuahua/
That sounds like a reasonable use for the nasty little things.

Harsh, but fair, response:
Quote
The local resident fears small pets in the area could be at risk but is equally worried about the risk to small children - advising people not to feed them.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 04 July, 2022, 02:25:13 pm

TLDR; misbehaving teenager who didn't buy a ticket to the prom isn't allowed in. Parents upset because the little scrote talked them into hiring him a suit and a car.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/schoolboy-devastated-after-finding-out-24380824?fbclid=IwAR3aeSSeyKfBOfOgaZbqBk8xuZTnQMX8yeN25q8znHd-tG-8MOii1j4PdA8 (https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/schoolboy-devastated-after-finding-out-24380824?fbclid=IwAR3aeSSeyKfBOfOgaZbqBk8xuZTnQMX8yeN25q8znHd-tG-8MOii1j4PdA8)

'Bit naughty,' apparently. Sure.

A teacher friend of mine once mentioned that the behaviour of the worst kids immediately becomes explicable when she first meets their parents.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on 09 July, 2022, 07:36:37 pm
Incredible beach less than 3 hours from Coventry named one of the best in the country

Slow news day in Cov. You don't need the link do you? It's Mablethorpe by the way according to the Times.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 July, 2022, 06:02:59 pm
Which reminds me of this NSFW parody

https://www.moretvicar.com/products/skegness-poster-print

Zoom in for the joke
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 14 July, 2022, 10:00:35 am
In need of renovation .....   https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/124641977#/?channel=RES_BUY


Nice & peaceful though.  The neighbours won't be disturbing you......
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 July, 2022, 10:16:33 am
You wouldn't get any annoying junk mail and you wouldn't need a parking permit. Great sunsets (okay, east coast, great sunrises). Good place to hold wild parties – would suit aging rock star or YACF campers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 14 July, 2022, 10:20:20 am
OTOH you'd need a hat with a very wide brim.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 14 July, 2022, 10:35:58 am
There's a similar one of those between the Hoo Peninsula and Sheerness.
It was on the market a few years ago, with the added cachet of having 'Number One, River Thames' as the address.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 14 July, 2022, 10:42:54 am
I assume there is no council tax. Or they'd have to collect your bins.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 14 July, 2022, 10:46:00 am
It looks like a guano goldmine.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 14 July, 2022, 10:47:13 am
You wouldn't get any annoying junk mail and you wouldn't need a parking permit.

Bet you'd still get the jehova's witnesses.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 14 July, 2022, 11:01:41 am
There was a plan to make it into a drug users rehabilitation centre...    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6IIftoZdGg
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 July, 2022, 11:02:42 am
You wouldn't get any annoying junk mail and you wouldn't need a parking permit.

Bet you'd still get the jehova's witnesses.
"I worship Neptune, Great God of the Seas and Destroyer of Small Boats."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 14 July, 2022, 08:00:51 pm
I'm not sure if Gatwick really counts as 'Provinces', but it's a good illustration of how anything relating to air travel is over-reported in the media:  Burst pipe causes Gatwick Airport toilet trouble (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-62169911)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on 14 July, 2022, 08:16:05 pm
I'm not sure if Gatwick really counts as 'Provinces', but it's a good illustration of how anything relating to air travel is over-reported in the media:  Burst pipe causes Gatwick Airport toilet trouble (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-62169911)
The whole of the Isle of Sheppey was without water for 48 hours until this morning. National news? Don't make me laugh.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 July, 2022, 08:23:32 pm
The toilets at Gatwick are grim anyway.  After a week of Austrian ski station toilets, which are far nicer than the ones in any house I know, the khazis at baggage reclaim will be a harsh welcome back to Brexit Britain.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 14 July, 2022, 08:25:58 pm
Poor Henry.

https://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/20279655.retired-vicar-performing-sex-act-henry-vacuum-cleaner/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 July, 2022, 10:16:28 am
In need of renovation .....   https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/124641977#/?channel=RES_BUY (https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/124641977#/?channel=RES_BUY)


Nice & peaceful though.  The neighbours won't be disturbing you......


Inside pictures.  Beds, loos & a stove.  YACF camping weekend ?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 July, 2022, 04:48:26 pm
Limited riding opportunities, though I dare say the BHPVC crew could molish a circuit...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vernon on 17 July, 2022, 09:13:07 pm
The inaugural Humber Estuary pedalo crit?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 22 July, 2022, 05:48:39 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/nostalgia/liverpool-city-centres-most-uncompromising-24549220


If you'd have gone into this place any Friday or Saturday night from about 1983 to mid 2000's you'd probably have found me propped against a wall, in dubious company & drinking Wobbly Bob.    A great pub, but you needed wellies in the gents. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 July, 2022, 06:57:51 pm
Wobbly Bob
I know Wob, we all know Wob, rides with the Bobbly Beelers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 25 July, 2022, 09:36:51 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/man-crashes-shop-runs-attacked-7380249


"Man crashes into shop, runs off and is attacked by emu"



Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 July, 2022, 11:40:49 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-62305022

"Birmingham coloured in with highlighter pens to hide the embarrassing brutalism during Commonwealth Games"

Not shown are the rent-a-planters full of flowers obstructing particularly ugly bits of pavement.  Or the Shiny! New! Bollocksinfra! at Edgbaston, which has been re-purposed to fit more cars in for the duration of the Games.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 July, 2022, 11:59:07 am
Prince Andrew to appear as Bristol Wickerman!
Quote
The plans also suggest the “erection of a temporary 15-metre wicker statue of former-HRH Prince Andrew”.
https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/mysterious-planning-application-appears-on-turbo-island/

Turbo Island is the unofficial name of a small triangle of land at a road junction, site of a house destroyed by WW2 bombing (it must have been a small and oddly shaped house). It's used as a hangout by the homeless and junkies, and because it's private land, they are effectively out of the reach of the police. They do sometimes require the assistance of the fire brigade though.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: L CC on 29 July, 2022, 12:09:04 pm
Have we had the Teesside nekkid tandemista?

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/passers-shock-naked-man-spotted-24589095
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 July, 2022, 03:11:34 pm
Have we had the Teesside nekkid tandemista?

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/passers-shock-naked-man-spotted-24589095
I believe the pr0n subtype is CFNM.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 02 August, 2022, 11:41:26 pm
Eight-foot cycle lane leaves Birmingham residents baffled (https://www.independent.co.uk/tv/lifestyle/bike-cycle-lane-birmingham-council-b2136490.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 03 August, 2022, 03:38:31 pm
One from Wowbagger's manor.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/southend-rose-west-stand-name-27646134

 :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 03 August, 2022, 05:09:26 pm
"No. I'M dumping YOU!"
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/angry-man-permanently-banned-from-every-sainsbury-s-threatens-to-never-shop-at-sainsbury-s-again/ss-AA10gIAg?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=43a5509e188e49919c1cc9573c4ad617
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 04 August, 2022, 02:28:23 pm
Wow... OYSWIM
https://www.msn.com/en-gb/sport/football/football-club-to-hold-talks-with-sponsor-over-gilbert-rose-west-stand/ar-AA10gEFB?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=83d1925de16c4c95a305955eadfe3659
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 04 August, 2022, 07:39:20 pm
There appears to be an echo in here  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 06 August, 2022, 01:28:50 pm
Ipswich to receive funding to clear high street chewing gum stains (https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/local-council/ipswich-receives-funding-to-clear-chewing-gum-stains-9193788)

Do Peatboghorror and I'll be really impressed...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 06 August, 2022, 11:33:16 pm

https://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/southend-rose-west-stand-name-27646134
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 07 August, 2022, 06:33:14 am
There appears to be an echo in here  ;D

It's getting worse too.  Expect Neil Young-stylee shrieking feedback any second now.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 07 August, 2022, 10:29:57 am
Does anyone fancy setting up a YACF commune ?   Financial contribution required.......  https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/125517065
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 07 August, 2022, 11:21:24 am
Does anyone fancy setting up a YACF commune ?   Financial contribution required.......  https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/125517065

What a beautiful house! And quite a lot of space for the money. The garage is bigger than my flat. ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 07 August, 2022, 11:56:18 am
Not sure about the roof ridge line though, what is the flashing doing up there.?  I could probably afford the front door knob. Beautiful house.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 07 August, 2022, 01:30:57 pm
Way too chintzy, and no extract over the cooker - they probably never use it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 07 August, 2022, 02:14:48 pm
Just noticed it's council tax band E - how?! :o That's the same as my smaller-than-this-house's-garage flat!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cygnet on 21 August, 2022, 10:27:42 pm
https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/virtually-naked-man-found-asleep-on-car-cromer-9209926 (https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/virtually-naked-man-found-asleep-on-car-cromer-9209926)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 August, 2022, 11:23:24 am
https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/virtually-naked-man-found-asleep-on-car-cromer-9209926 (https://www.edp24.co.uk/news/virtually-naked-man-found-asleep-on-car-cromer-9209926)
NFN
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on 24 August, 2022, 06:52:04 pm
Have we had this one?
https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/former-british-soldier-takes-down-24828474?fbclid=IwAR0rpqmj_akMvnKl3jJZn8bVY03jpEYqYzDSs37y4sSDu4LNjUZTMjg6NEQ (https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/former-british-soldier-takes-down-24828474?fbclid=IwAR0rpqmj_akMvnKl3jJZn8bVY03jpEYqYzDSs37y4sSDu4LNjUZTMjg6NEQ)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 24 August, 2022, 06:54:00 pm
*boggle*
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 August, 2022, 07:46:31 pm
Reminds me of the time I saw the flag of apartheid-era South Africa flying in a garden in the Mendips. But more so.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 August, 2022, 05:36:51 pm
https://www.wiltshirelive.co.uk/news/wiltshire-news/crude-joke-event-banner-vandalised-7518239

Presumably there will be biscuits.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 August, 2022, 01:22:29 pm
Misconduct on Miss Conduct.
Quote
https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/demo-outside-yacht-protesters-demand-answers-owners/
https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/demo-outside-yacht-protesters-demand-answers-owners/
Allegedly.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 August, 2022, 07:16:50 pm
Can of Tizer dated 1975 found in Peak District (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-61187623)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 30 August, 2022, 07:27:13 pm
Can of Tizer dated 1975 found in Peak District (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-61187623)

Quote
Amazingly, the can was tested and proven to still be inedible.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on 31 August, 2022, 06:44:31 am
Does anyone fancy setting up a YACF commune ?   Financial contribution required.......  https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/125517065

What a beautiful house! And quite a lot of space for the money. The garage is bigger than my flat. ;D

I could wave at my mums old house across the water
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 August, 2022, 07:59:06 am
Can of Tizer dated 1975 found in Peak District (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-61187623)
A postal order for 80p – they must have been proto-audaxers!  :demon: ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 31 August, 2022, 09:27:28 am
Can of Tizer dated 1975 found in Peak District (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-61187623)

Quote
Amazingly, the can was tested and proven to still be inedible.
In another 50 years or so, they'll be picking up today's bottles of truckers' Tizer from roadside verges.  It may mature like a good vintage of Chateau d'Yquem.  And be the same colour.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 31 August, 2022, 11:22:36 am
"Trucker's Tizer"   ;D :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 September, 2022, 05:29:07 pm
https://www.readingchronicle.co.uk/news/20893371.police-locate-stolen-national-railway-tracks-newbury/
Quote
According to the Rural Task Force the HGV was ‘massively overweight’.
The way it's sagging in the middle might have been a giveaway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 04 September, 2022, 02:59:43 pm
https://twitter.com/nwbylines/status/1566424193272520710 (https://twitter.com/nwbylines/status/1566424193272520710?s=21&t=yX5ImRYb1jrFBwUuJvvkUQ)


https://northwestbylines.co.uk/lifestyle/world-gravy-wrestling-championship-in-lancashire/ (https://northwestbylines.co.uk/lifestyle/world-gravy-wrestling-championship-in-lancashire/)


Wrestler rips off opponents shorts in gravy wrestling competition.  :jurek:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 07 September, 2022, 12:38:06 am
https://www.northantslive.news/news/uk-world-news/road-marker-gets-f-spelling-7546552

Also could go in the "Spelling..." thread.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on 07 September, 2022, 07:22:58 am
According to Urban Dictionary the Merkins of North Carolina got there first.
 ;D 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 September, 2022, 09:29:44 pm
Why Jesus didn't take the bus (https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/jesus-joins-bristol-bus-boycott-new-stained-glass-window/)

(https://www.bristol247.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/09/Ealish-Swift-stained-glass-e1663842326943-800x450.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 04 October, 2022, 03:04:47 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/oct/04/british-pakistanis-find-fraternity-in-the-cavalry-sport-of-neza-bazi


in tents pegging....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 October, 2022, 06:25:44 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23019931.bizarre-name-made-chelsea-star-jamie-lang-wants-give-child/

Child abuse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 04 October, 2022, 09:08:32 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/oct/04/british-pakistanis-find-fraternity-in-the-cavalry-sport-of-neza-bazi


in tents pegging....
I can’t think of any ‘remote fields’ in Bradford, what with it being a City and all, so I wonder just where about this activity is taking place.
Pedantically
B
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 October, 2022, 02:02:04 am
On Ilkley Moor.  Hats optional.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 05 October, 2022, 10:04:57 am
 Ilkley is NOT Bradford no matter what the councillors in Bradford City Hall may think >:( it’s not even in the same Dale ffs. And anyway, the ducks would get in the way if they tried anything on the moor.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 12 October, 2022, 12:05:19 am
Don’t gape when sleeping. (https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/real-life/mum-left-hospital-days-after-25105318.amp)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Hot Flatus on 12 October, 2022, 06:40:35 am
Don’t gape when sleeping. (https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/real-life/mum-left-hospital-days-after-25105318.amp)

(https://i.ibb.co/FXdBgwj/Screenshot-20221012-063759-Samsung-Internet.jpg) (https://ibb.co/FXdBgwj)

I've probably never mentioned this before, but the opposite happened to me once
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 12 October, 2022, 08:32:59 am
"Top and tailing" with a dog. :facepalm: :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 12 October, 2022, 09:19:51 am
Don’t gape when sleeping. (https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/real-life/mum-left-hospital-days-after-25105318.amp)

(https://i.ibb.co/FXdBgwj/Screenshot-20221012-063759-Samsung-Internet.jpg) (https://ibb.co/FXdBgwj)

I've probably never mentioned this before, but the opposite happened to me once

Amanda pooped in your mouth?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 October, 2022, 01:00:03 pm
Don’t gape when sleeping. (https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/real-life/mum-left-hospital-days-after-25105318.amp)

I'm not sure that's necessarily the advice I'd take away from that article...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 12 October, 2022, 01:18:51 pm
Honestly, I'm quite sure I'd not have posed for the photo.

There's really quite a lot wrong in that story. I feel soiled just having read it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on 12 October, 2022, 03:39:40 pm
Fecal transplant anybody?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Hot Flatus on 12 October, 2022, 04:45:17 pm
Honestly, I'm quite sure I'd not have posed for the photo.

There's really quite a lot wrong in that story. I feel soiled just having read it.

She could have at least smiled
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 12 October, 2022, 05:19:43 pm
Oh my god, the dog just shat in my mouth. Quick get the camera while I call the local newspaper.

It's like a very low-rent version of 2G1C.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 12 October, 2022, 05:59:48 pm
I usually work on the assumption that dog owners have a very different relationship with shit than normal people.  But not that different.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 12 October, 2022, 06:25:27 pm
She's got a great future as a Lib Dem MP.....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 12 October, 2022, 06:27:28 pm
Honestly, I'm quite sure I'd not have posed for the photo.

There's really quite a lot wrong in that story. I feel soiled just having read it.

She could have at least smiled

I'm not sure that was a circumstance for which the term I believe you have in mind would apply, though.  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: CAMRAMan on 22 October, 2022, 01:28:29 pm
Council greenhouse to be made cooler. (https://www.warwickshireworld.com/news/environment/council-chiefs-could-lower-temperature-inside-iconic-glasshouse-in-leamington-to-cut-costs-3889474)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 October, 2022, 01:24:11 pm
If this isn't a YACF member I shall be disappointed.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-63421811

Cudzo is local, I think  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orraloon on 28 October, 2022, 01:29:31 pm
^  local Tory MP Liam Fox?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 October, 2022, 01:44:19 pm
^  local Tory MP Liam Fox?

ITYM disgraced former Defence Secretary Liam Fox, no?

Also, Inspector Lee Kerslake?  I thought he was:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 October, 2022, 01:57:38 pm
If this isn't a YACF member I shall be disappointed.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-63421811

Cudzo is local, I think  ;D
Unfortunately
Quote
A man in his 30s has been arrested on suspicion of causing a public nuisance and has been released on bail.
I am far too aged to qualify, or indeed to writhe and grunt on the floor. If it wasn't disgraced former Defence Secretary Liam Fox, then maybe it was that other local MP, Jacob Rees-Mogg, indulging in some pranks with the local peasantry, or releasing a prisoner from the dungeons?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 October, 2022, 02:25:00 pm
Maybe it's Banksy?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 28 October, 2022, 02:41:57 pm
^  local Tory MP Liam Fox?

ITYM disgraced former Defence Secretary Liam Fox, no?


Looks like he's gone full Werrity in those photos.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 28 October, 2022, 02:55:22 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-walked-free-court-bottling-25364160


It must take a special kind of stupidity to go on a shooting spree whilst wearing an ankle tag.



"David Temkin KC, prosecuting, told the court: "When the police looked at the tag evidence, it showed that the defendant was at the scene of the shooting. The tag around his ankle transmitted signals that were registered at the home monitoring units of other unconnected people in Toxteth who also happened to be subject to a court-imposed curfew.


"Those people had curfews at addresses that happened to be in the near vicinity of the shooting. The records that were generated prove that this defendant was in the relevant part of Upper Warwick Street just at the time that a gunman opened fire."


In yet another coincidence, the target of the shooting was also wearing a tag at the time. Both his and Jones' devices showed the exact same movements when the attack occurred."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 October, 2022, 04:34:31 pm
For small values of 'coincidence'...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 October, 2022, 05:40:40 pm
Edinburgh historic house owner ordered to repaint pink door (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-63426312)

She should have just explained that the ghosts would get upset.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 29 October, 2022, 12:03:54 pm
Sounds like an ideal use for a tin of tartan paint, then if anyone complains accuse them of being unpatriotic  :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 29 October, 2022, 12:09:53 pm

I'm reminded of the people who lived in a historic building, and asked to repaint it. Were told they had to do so with historically accurate paint so as to not ruin things.

They did the research.

They painted the house in a very PINK PINK paint.

The council threw a strop.

The owners showed the research and historical evidence backing up the paint choice.

The past was not black an white, and people loved bright colours...

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 October, 2022, 12:42:40 pm
What date do you want to pick? Doesn't matter really, it's being seen now. Bath's Royal Crescent and Circus have similar rules, as do many other places.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 29 October, 2022, 02:53:34 pm
Edinburgh historic house owner ordered to repaint pink door (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-63426312)

She should have just explained that the ghosts would get upset.

The guidance (https://ewh.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/EWH-External-Paintwork-Guide.pdf) is pretty clear, TBH - it states that "Pale, primary or pastel colours are not appropriate and should be avoided".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 October, 2022, 03:58:46 pm
Doesn't say anything about metallics or flip paint  :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 29 October, 2022, 06:21:51 pm
Edinburgh historic house owner ordered to repaint pink door (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-63426312)

She should have just explained that the ghosts would get upset.

The guidance (https://ewh.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/EWH-External-Paintwork-Guide.pdf) is pretty clear, TBH - it states that "Pale, primary or pastel colours are not appropriate and should be avoided".

Does that still apply when the house is obviously haunted, though?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 29 October, 2022, 06:31:57 pm
Edinburgh historic house owner ordered to repaint pink door (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-63426312)

She should have just explained that the ghosts would get upset.

The guidance (https://ewh.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/02/EWH-External-Paintwork-Guide.pdf) is pretty clear, TBH - it states that "Pale, primary or pastel colours are not appropriate and should be avoided".

Does that still apply when the house is obviously haunted, though?

I'd be surprised if any of them weren't haunted...

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the World Heritage Site (albeit over on the Royal Mile), I spotted this postbox today. I guess postboxes get different rules!

(https://i.ibb.co/pzNXQHC/20221029-132009.jpg)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 29 October, 2022, 07:41:36 pm
Maybe it's a bisexual postbox?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 29 October, 2022, 08:15:43 pm
Maybe it's a bisexual postbox?

I did wonder, but Google tells me it's actually to commemorate the Commonwealth Games (https://www.royalmail.com/commonwealth-games) (minus the "Good Luck Team England" banner, of course). ???

I hope it's a permanent colour scheme, anyway. I like it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 29 October, 2022, 08:26:43 pm
(https://i.ibb.co/pzNXQHC/20221029-132009.jpg)
Never mind the postbox, here's the street-walking hazmat suit!
Or maybe an apiarist?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 29 October, 2022, 09:25:26 pm
Maybe it's a bisexual postbox?

I did wonder, but Google tells me it's actually to commemorate the Commonwealth Games (https://www.royalmail.com/commonwealth-games) (minus the "Good Luck Team England" banner, of course). ???

I hope it's a permanent colour scheme, anyway. I like it.

Cherry-picking the non-shit colours from the games branding there.  The orange, yellow and blue all look like they've been hanging up in central Birmingham too long (https://www.embracebuildingwraps.co.uk/portfolio-items/smallbrook-queensway-birmingham/).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 October, 2022, 01:35:31 pm
Man finds warning tape and stops digging hole, avoids damaging cable (https://www.kentonline.co.uk/ashford/news/i-could-have-been-electrocuted-275842/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 30 October, 2022, 07:20:16 pm
The warning tape didn’t stop the gas men when digging their holes in our road, they just dug around it and left it hanging above the cables which they also left hanging.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 October, 2022, 07:25:38 pm
They probably understand that underground utilities are a thing, and apply appropriate levels of carefulling, thobut.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 October, 2022, 07:29:31 pm
And presumably the leccy diggers exercise the same when discovering gas pipes (or water, sewage, TV and telecoms, top secret military communications, and whatever else there may or may not be under the roads).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 30 October, 2022, 08:12:23 pm
The warning tape didn’t stop the gas men when digging their holes in our road, they just dug around it and left it hanging above the cables which they also left hanging.
The vacuum wotsits you referred to earlier are much better at avoiding putting metal things where they're not wanted .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 October, 2022, 09:36:13 pm
And presumably the leccy diggers exercise the same when discovering gas pipes (or water, sewage, TV and telecoms, top secret military communications, and whatever else there may or may not be under the roads).

Here's that photo of them not having put a hole though Virgin Media or Vodaphone's ducts, or our neighbours' water pipe while attempting to find a better vole supply for our house:

(https://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/electricity/2019_03_25_16_37_31.sized.jpg)

It's all surprisingly shallow, tbh.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 30 October, 2022, 10:45:16 pm
I was peripherally involved in a hole and a 10 inch gas main. I've never seen so many Gas Co. vans in one place.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 30 October, 2022, 11:17:32 pm
In the earlier days of my career, after the apprenticeship placements with the pole and hole gangs1*, I spent some time in the NE Network Management Centre and one of our all to often responsibilities was rerouting telephone and television traffic around violent unplanned disconnections made by a variety of plant operators2, many of whom were working for or on behalf of other utilities. And that in spite of BT running (and publicising) a Dial before you dig service.

The best violent unplanned disconnection I help reroute around remains that done by a householder from the comfort of his own cellar. He managed to drill3 through his cellar wall4, the gas main, the main Leeds to Manchester coaxial route and the water main. The water ingress caused him to stop, which was a good thing because a small few centimetres beyond the end of his drill bit was the electricity main! That one took a lot of sorting out, because gas had to be made safe before anyone else was allowed in, then obviously water, and finally after that lot had mucked everything up 10 fold, us with our specialist coaxial jointer

1. Also known as the Overhead gangs and underground gangs. Four weeks with each of these gangs for the mostly middle class 16yo apprentices was a bit of a baptism of fire to the working life.
2. Back hoes, lots of back hoes, but pile drivers could do an impressive amount of damage.

3. He’d hired a GBFO Kango drill from a local plant hire firm, especially for the job in hand

4. Which was drilling a 1½” hole in his outside wall so that the water board could install a new water main
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 October, 2022, 11:24:53 pm
in spite of BT running (and publicising) a Dial before you dig service.

Yeahbut that'll only be unavailable at the critical moment due to an unplanned disconnection (https://www.colorado811.org/communications-system-811-outage/).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 October, 2022, 09:38:01 am
It's all surprisingly shallow, tbh.
I'm not sure whether I find that reassuring (see how much protection so little soil gives!) or worrying. It does remind me that when in 1991 my late PiLs became the first household on their edge of the village to get a telephone connection, they had to dig a trench to the end of their property (about 600m) and it had to be 1 metre deep. But that was a ploughed field (probably still ploughed by horse back then; mains water didn't reach this part of the village for another four years).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cygnet on 07 November, 2022, 09:29:15 pm
Quote
The hope is the coast-to-coast route could attract up to 175,000 new visitors a year, spending more than £13m but can it be achieved?
Hope is right.  ::-) Did anyone involved bother to work out how many "experienced cyclists" that amounts to per day?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-63484695 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-63484695)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 07 November, 2022, 09:45:16 pm
Surely each experienced cyclist will have a support team averaging 4 people?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Flite on 07 November, 2022, 10:27:30 pm
Last time I checked (some years ago) the C2C Whitehaven to Sunderland or N/castle route claimed 150,000 per year, so 175,000 would seem to be a reasonable target.
I wonder what the numbers are for the North Coast 500?
Stranraer is a long way west. I reckon the C2C is easier for many folks to get to start and from finish. 
And it has a lot of big groups of people on bikes doing it as a charity challenge.
(Many of whom look as if they never want to see a bike ever again)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 07 November, 2022, 10:37:28 pm
If it is passable for 6 months, that’s just under 1,000 a day, I think…
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cygnet on 07 November, 2022, 10:39:30 pm
Exactly
Surely each experienced cyclist will have a support team averaging 4 people?

I think that's somewhat what they expect. 500 cyclists per day (or 0 in winter and 1000 in summer) is going to really stretch the B&B market otherwise... They're all going to need a support crew to get to the start, there's no way public transport can cope with that many bikes...

Similarly I'd be astonished if Whitehaven has 1000 beds per night available, the Carlisle train won't be able to cope.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on 13 November, 2022, 09:47:53 am
The closure of a mid Wales airport
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-63600184
 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 13 November, 2022, 06:32:11 pm
I think it's a slow news day in Dundee.

https://www.edinburghlive.co.uk/news/edinburgh-news/scottish-mum-flabbergasted-after-spotting-25504468
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 November, 2022, 01:57:18 pm
Swindon has a pot problem https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23118714.residents-fume-mysterious-plant-pot-thief-still-loose/

The most terrifying thing is that someone is using dead Henry hoovers as plant pots  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 14 November, 2022, 02:10:24 pm
I think it's a slow news day in Dundee.

https://www.edinburghlive.co.uk/news/edinburgh-news/scottish-mum-flabbergasted-after-spotting-25504468

...proceeding from the heat-oppressëd brain.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 November, 2022, 04:11:10 pm
Lost dog in Loughborough: (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-63633683)
Quote
Leicestershire Police said: "Thankfully she was wearing a collar, so a lead was available to contact Rosie's owner, who was delighted she had been found safe and well."
Boom, tish!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Poacher on 15 November, 2022, 05:02:25 pm
https://thelincolnite.co.uk/2022/11/headteacher-who-ate-raw-garlic-to-disguise-smell-of-booze-is-struck-off/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 November, 2022, 09:20:21 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23131181.asda-orbital-customer-finds-fly-sealed-pack-ham/#comments-anchor

Nutritional information on Chavda ham shows inaccurate protein content.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 18 November, 2022, 07:02:23 pm
Sup up your beer & collect your fags....... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-63683667


Nuke the place from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 November, 2022, 07:06:19 pm
Sup up your beer & collect your fags....... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-63683667


Nuke the place from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

Nigel Farage was right there and wasn't the target of the booing?  I knew the place was rotten, but that's a whole other level...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 18 November, 2022, 09:57:33 pm
"Hogwarts for wankers." J.Pie Esq.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 18 November, 2022, 10:32:12 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/knowsley-highest-obesity-levels-among-25547731


_Bruce Springsteen voice , my hometown , this is my hometown..._


Also famous for having the worst education results in the UK.  That's my excuse for being thick anyway....     

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 November, 2022, 08:29:26 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23138986.swindon-family-heartbroken-fireworks-cause-guinea-pigs-death/

Guinea pig dies of shell shock (story safe to read, it wasn't a banger up the arse or anything similarly cruel).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 November, 2022, 02:50:03 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23143042.swindon-thug-banned-riding-bikes-covering-face/

BANNED from riding a bike.

I disagree with stopping him wearing a face covering though - would save a lot of stopped clocks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 27 November, 2022, 02:26:49 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/worlds-biggest-hooters-open-liverpool-25609232


One of my colleagues suggested that we book this place for our Christmas meal.....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 27 November, 2022, 03:25:31 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/worlds-biggest-hooters-open-liverpool-25609232


One of my colleagues suggested that we book this place for our Christmas meal.....
Srsly?
It is 2022.
Not 1978.
 ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 27 November, 2022, 05:24:30 pm
I remember walking past one in Amsterdam in the mid 90’s.  It was considered tacky & seedy then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: robgul on 27 November, 2022, 07:32:40 pm
I was "taken out to dinner" by some US work colleagues when at a conference/jolly in Orlando - they thought Hooters was just the greatest with food to die for (probably "awesome" too) - McDonalds food is gourmet in comparison to Hooters.

The whole experience was just beyond awful - and the fawning over the punters in the hope of bigger tips was laughable.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 27 November, 2022, 09:34:34 pm
I remember walking past one in Amsterdam in the mid 90’s.  It was considered tacky & seedy then.
Was that the one near to Centraal Station? I walked past it a couple of times but never felt the need to go in.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrew Br on 27 November, 2022, 09:59:50 pm
I've also been taken by an American colleague to a Hooters.
Memory is fading but it was in the early 2000s in Wisconsin (I think). I can't remember if I was flying home from Chicago that evening or the following day.
Since I was driving (as was colleague) I had a soft drink but no food. He had a beer, perhaps two.
Grim, just grim.
Colleague was a well travelled, intelligent, Democrat voter and he still thought Hooters was an OK venue  :sick:

I've been to the US many times since; Hooters is just not on the radar.
If it was the only restaurant/bar in town, I'd be either getting a mini-market take out + beer or going to bed hungry.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 27 November, 2022, 10:02:09 pm
I think I walked past on the way to my hotel or hostel from Centraal.  Google seems to suggest there was one on Rokin, which looking at the map might be about right.


I don't think I've been to Amsterdam for 20 years or so.  My favourite cheap Jordaan hotel is now a very uncheap "boutique hotel".   A friend has an apartment there, but she keeps ignoring hints about letting me borrow it for a few days.  :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 November, 2022, 10:13:08 pm
I don’t think I've ever seen a Hooters in USAnia.  Obviously I visit the right bits :P
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 27 November, 2022, 10:18:07 pm
I was taken to lunch at Hooters in Cairns over a decade ago. Not my idea of fun.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 November, 2022, 08:11:47 am
I've learnt something.  I thought Hooters was a topless bar.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orraloon on 28 November, 2022, 08:45:21 am
I've learnt something.  I thought Hooters was a topless bar.
That's the VIP section.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 28 November, 2022, 09:25:12 am
The US does seem to have a  cultural thing about strip joints/topless bars, hence them being a staple venue on police procedurals. You don't see Inspector Morse popping into Spearmint Rhino to meet an informant.

On my first trip to the US with work back in the very early 90s, I went into the office on arrival and then everyone went out to the Golden Banana in Peabody for the evening, which was a bit of an eye opener. Turns out that was a very regular thing - just like in the UK we'd pop into the local pub, they'd head off to the Banana. These were well educated and well paid engineers and chemists, not blue collar workers.

It did confirm that it really isn't my thing. Never even seen a Hooters, as far as I know.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 28 November, 2022, 10:36:57 am
Quote from: His Bobness
She was working in a topless place
And I stopped in for a beer
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 November, 2022, 11:09:37 am
Reminds me of the 'see-through barmaids' who toured rural australian pubs.
Strict laws banned topless venues in australia, so someone worked around this by having the bar staff wear transparent (plastic) clothes. Usually just small pair of knickers on underneath, but sometimes naked under the plastic.

That's been replaced by 'skimpies'; no transparent bits, just wearing what amounts to bikinis.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 28 November, 2022, 11:11:28 am
I've learnt something.  I thought Hooters was a topless bar.

IIRC it was a topless airline back in the naughties.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 November, 2022, 11:18:10 am
I've learnt something.  I thought Hooters was a topless bar.

IIRC it was a topless airline back in the naughties.
"What about the rain?" I thought but then realised you're probably above the cloud line most of the time...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 November, 2022, 11:44:47 am
Quote from: His Bobness
She was working in a topless place
And I stopped in for a beer
Quote from: The Lizard King
Cops in cars, the topless bars, never saw a woman so alone
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 30 November, 2022, 10:40:28 am
"Yearning for Croydon" is not an expression one hears often.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/nov/30/a-moment-that-changed-me-born-and-raised-in-kenya-i-yearned-for-croydon
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 02 December, 2022, 10:17:06 pm
Rotherham: Police target pigs causing havoc in graveyard (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-63823330)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 December, 2022, 10:52:00 pm
Quote
A statement issued by the force asked anyone who saw the pigs to get in touch.
Impossible to think this was written innocently!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 10 December, 2022, 08:20:18 am
They're out there...
https://www.lancasterguardian.co.uk/news/people/morecambe-park-volunteer-says-he-has-proof-there-are-aliens-on-the-moon-3948202?fbclid=IwAR3NtScdRZCWDY_IFnX8r-pVDn0xRd5QdaG7kvvEJTvhp5skKXmGUHFAkfE
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 December, 2022, 08:38:47 am
They're out there...
https://www.lancasterguardian.co.uk/news/people/morecambe-park-volunteer-says-he-has-proof-there-are-aliens-on-the-moon-3948202?fbclid=IwAR3NtScdRZCWDY_IFnX8r-pVDn0xRd5QdaG7kvvEJTvhp5skKXmGUHFAkfE
His CV ticks all the "nutter" boxes  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 December, 2022, 12:17:45 pm
The casual mention of the perpetual motion machine in the last paragraph really makes it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 December, 2022, 06:09:15 pm
London is also a province...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-63969712
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 20 December, 2022, 07:28:42 pm
(https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/XOT1HuYEXg_oa3i_-s1SaRkJY224-LhKQj7QDBrUzFg_vycG3Z2YbCKx_2gKc6hNJJ7q20lktuqOhMSownLrFSZ4KdgDelPRWuor_XUvr0wkLtxHgYpEtGQl8KBy6olh_gz3fvFXqRU=w2400)

Southend's Christmas Tree.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 24 December, 2022, 07:12:47 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-64078593

Iceberg!  Dead ahead!

And not the one garnishing your steak and chips.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on 24 December, 2022, 03:30:48 pm
Or should this be in the motorised moron thread?

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/dec/24/pub-crawling-santas-get-armoured-vehicle-stuck-in-cornish-hedge (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/dec/24/pub-crawling-santas-get-armoured-vehicle-stuck-in-cornish-hedge)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 24 December, 2022, 03:35:57 pm
Or should this be in the motorised moron thread?

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/dec/24/pub-crawling-santas-get-armoured-vehicle-stuck-in-cornish-hedge (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2022/dec/24/pub-crawling-santas-get-armoured-vehicle-stuck-in-cornish-hedge)

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52583579214_d93694a937_o.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2o7CA7J)
Hooray tanky tanky! (https://flic.kr/p/2o7CA7J) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 26 December, 2022, 01:11:32 pm
No need to read the story*, just clock the look on the cat's little furry face! (https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/23211814.hip-hop-granny-plumpton-releases-music-video-cats-protection/)

* “Hip hop granny from Plumpton releases music video for Cats Protection”
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 December, 2022, 09:49:05 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23219587.millennium-dome-moved-swindon/
Plan to move the Millennium Dome to Swindon. Swindon already has a dome:
https://swindome.co.uk
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: TimC on 30 December, 2022, 01:14:38 pm
The idea was to move the Millenium Dome to the disused airfield at RAF Wroughton, where the Science Museum already homes many of their larger exhibits (mostly aircraft). It would have been a really fantastic exhibition space, but far less lucrative than its transmogrification into the O2. The 'Swindome' is on another old airfield at South Marston, formerly home of Vickers aircraft.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 30 December, 2022, 03:26:41 pm
The idea was to move the Millenium Dome to the disused airfield at RAF Wroughton, where the Science Museum already homes many of their larger exhibits (mostly aircraft). It would have been a really fantastic exhibition space, but far less lucrative than its transmogrification into the O2. The 'Swindome' is on another old airfield at South Marston, formerly home of Vickers aircraft.
My bold.
Since The Science Museum got rid of its West London repository - Blythe House - (formerly shared with the V&A and British Museums) much more than aircraft has ended up in Wroughton.
I worked down there for a while as well as in Blythe House.
I was told that what you see in the museum itself is around 5% of what they actually curate.
Apropos of nothing in particular, whilst working on the airfield, was the last time I drove an artic.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cygnet on 30 December, 2022, 11:08:15 pm
Hot on the heels of Rightmoves "most expensive streets in the country" comes this:
 London's worst place to live ranked and it's even worse than Luton, Slough and Hull (https://www.mylondon.news/news/property/londons-worst-place-live-ranked-25861497)

Things I have learned today:  Dagenham is Laardan, not Essex
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 31 December, 2022, 10:34:31 pm

https://twitter.com/davidmbarnett/status/1609243508224794629

Scarborough fireworks cancelled due to Walrus...

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 01 January, 2023, 09:13:38 am

https://twitter.com/davidmbarnett/status/1609243508224794629 (https://twitter.com/davidmbarnett/status/1609243508224794629)

Scarborough fireworks cancelled due to Walrus...

J


A wanking walrus…… https://twitter.com/pastoralexlove/status/1609334723259539456 (https://twitter.com/pastoralexlove/status/1609334723259539456?s=46&t=S6UR24AIL4K_qe-endlTfg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 January, 2023, 08:24:21 pm
More Royal news today.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23230512.king-charles-nearest-kebab-van-tetbury-nominated-best-uk/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 January, 2023, 03:49:35 pm
Britain's first multistorey car park, or so they claim, without much evidence: https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/features/bristol-oldest-multi-storey-more-than-a-car-park/
(https://www.bristol247.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Rupert-Street-car-park-from-Lewins-Mead-photo-Martin-Booth-1024x768.jpg)
That's Britain's first Evans too*.

*Britain's first branch of Evans to be opened in Bristol.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: JonBuoy on 10 January, 2023, 04:18:51 pm
Linked from that page:  https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/news/cyclist-breaks-collarbone-after-flipping-off-bike-metre-wide-pothole/

Quote
The pothole was over half a foot deep at its lowest point and a metre-wide length ways

There are probably several topics where that could have gone.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: robgul on 10 January, 2023, 05:39:37 pm
Britain's first multistorey car park, or so they claim, without much evidence: https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/features/bristol-oldest-multi-storey-more-than-a-car-park/
(https://www.bristol247.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Rupert-Street-car-park-from-Lewins-Mead-photo-Martin-Booth-1024x768.jpg)
That's Britain's first Evans too*.

*Britain's first branch of Evans to be opened in Bristol.

https://www.britishparking.co.uk/News/first-uk-multi-storey-car-park/188317  thinks differently - and I know (from having been in it, with my father driving) there was one in the City of London in 1958 . .  not sure where.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 January, 2023, 05:44:27 pm
Basingrad used to claim it had Europe's largest, but that was probably hyperbole.  Possibly the largest with a shopping centre underneath, or the largest in a town ending in -stoke.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 January, 2023, 06:05:39 pm
Britain's first multistorey car park, or so they claim, without much evidence: https://www.bristol247.com/news-and-features/features/bristol-oldest-multi-storey-more-than-a-car-park/
(https://www.bristol247.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/01/Rupert-Street-car-park-from-Lewins-Mead-photo-Martin-Booth-1024x768.jpg)
That's Britain's first Evans too*.

*Britain's first branch of Evans to be opened in Bristol.

https://www.britishparking.co.uk/News/first-uk-multi-storey-car-park/188317  thinks differently - and I know (from having been in it, with my father driving) there was one in the City of London in 1958 . .  not sure where.
That sounds more likely. The contemporary Pathe newsreel and the leaflet say "first of its kind" but don't talk about "multistorey". The newsreel says "Multidek garage" but that seems to be more of a brand name, a specific design, than the mere fact of having several floors. Perhaps referring to the spiral ramp as they seem to make rather a feature of that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 January, 2023, 06:13:19 pm
How is Europe's largest multi-storey car park not Birmingham?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 10 January, 2023, 06:40:53 pm
Don't be greedy.  You've got the Grade 2 listed public loos.   https://twitter.com/LizzieHelenMay/status/1612382294408314883


(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FlbH8u_XoAEmkXo?format=jpg&name=large)






Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 January, 2023, 11:52:42 pm
That's clearly a TARDIS that got stuck when the council installed electric lighting.

https://goo.gl/maps/QifEGwxZwDkRFxru7
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: robgul on 11 January, 2023, 07:47:35 am
That's clearly a TARDIS that got stuck when the council installed electric lighting.

https://goo.gl/maps/QifEGwxZwDkRFxru7

Ah, being Birmingham I see that there is an adjacent, fully-glazed urinal for night-time use .. . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 11 January, 2023, 12:52:37 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/jan/11/anglers-despair-as-trapped-seal-eats-essex-lakes-stocks

Not content at coming out as the straightest town in Britain, Rochford now boasts a seal in a fishing lake. Scarborough beat that recently with a masturbating walrus.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/103e0jt/a_walrus_named_thor_stopped_by_scarborough/

Edit: bugger! Since I posted that someone has insisted that you have to be over 18 to see a walrus having a wank.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 11 January, 2023, 05:38:44 pm
I was wondering why Dave Lee Travis was trending in the BRITISH parts of the Twittersphere...

Quote
A mum from Cornwall claims to have discovered a famous face in the grease of her pizza box. But who is it?
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FmMgj7KWQAAOEtr?format=jpg
1:40 pm · 11 Jan 2023

Kim Ellis said her 'first thought was Jesus because of the flowing hair and beard’ - though you might argue it looks a bit more like Charles Manson...
metro.co.uk
Mum finds ‘face of Jesus’ in greasy Domino’s pizza box, but is it Hagrid?
Is that you, Jesus?
https://t.co/EuKSWrNccw
https://twitter.com/MetroUK/status/1613168894948085761

Worth scrolling through the replies for the alternative suggestions.  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 January, 2023, 06:13:37 pm
CAT!
</APILN>
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 January, 2023, 06:45:08 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/jan/11/anglers-despair-as-trapped-seal-eats-essex-lakes-stocks

Not content at coming out as the straightest town in Britain, Rochford now boasts a seal in a fishing lake.

“Rescuing the seal is going to be a completely different kettle of fish” said Seal Rescue Man on the BBC earlier.  No, mate, it’s a seal of fish and the local anglers are FUMMIN’!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 11 January, 2023, 09:35:03 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/jan/11/anglers-despair-as-trapped-seal-eats-essex-lakes-stocks

Not content at coming out as the straightest town in Britain, Rochford now boasts a seal in a fishing lake.

“Rescuing the seal is going to be a completely different kettle of fish” said Seal Rescue Man on the BBC earlier.  No, mate, it’s a seal of fish and the local anglers are FUMMIN’!

Quote from: graun
Seals live in the sea, not freshwater lakes.

I think there are freshwater common seals in Canuckistan.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 January, 2023, 01:45:28 am
There’s also the Baikal seal wot lives in, er, Lake Baikal in that Russia that they have now.  And Wikinaccurate tells of other pinnipeds lurking in fresh water, including a very lost sea lion in Merced CA.  Trying to hitch a lift at the roadside a hundred miles from San Francisco Bay and half a mile from the nearest river.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 January, 2023, 07:10:09 am
And there's that one wot used to be married to Heidi Klum.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 January, 2023, 11:56:22 am
(http://www.alfiecat.co.uk/yetacf/seal-2.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2023, 12:09:07 am
"Eatery which serves afternoon tea near Stroud gets top hygiene grade" (https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/23263420.place-serves-afternoon-tea-near-stroud-gets-top-hygiene-grade/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 21 January, 2023, 12:39:48 am
Oooh, goodie, somewhere to go next week  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 January, 2023, 07:21:40 am
"Eatery which serves afternoon tea near Stroud gets top hygiene grade" (https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/23263420.place-serves-afternoon-tea-near-stroud-gets-top-hygiene-grade/)
Meh, so does Jason Doner Van.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 21 January, 2023, 11:36:08 am
Next stop, Twatt! My tour of Britain’s fantastically filthy placenames
A road sign for Twatt in Orkney
Twatt in Orkney – not to be confused with the one in Shetland. Photograph: Jorge Tutor/Alamy
The UK is full of extremely rude-sounding towns and villages. But what’s it like to live in them? Some locals can’t wait to change the names, while others embrace the quirk – even selling signpost souvenirs (https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/jan/21/next-stop-twatt-my-tour-of-britains-fantastically-filthy-placenames)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2023, 02:49:42 pm
"Eatery which serves afternoon tea near Stroud gets top hygiene grade" (https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/23263420.place-serves-afternoon-tea-near-stroud-gets-top-hygiene-grade/)
Meh, so does Jason Doner Van.
But the Jason Doner Van is too famous to mention it!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 25 January, 2023, 07:30:31 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23276385.great-western-hospital-iphone-fire-sees-firefighters-called/

A whole iPhone burns to the ground in Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 January, 2023, 07:55:04 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23277607.human-poo-litter-left-trowbridge-shopping-centre-lift/

Trowbridge burnishes its already gleaming reputation as the town* that makes Swindon look good.


*many large Wiltshire towns are pretty grim: Warminster and Melksham spring to mind.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Moleman76 on 29 January, 2023, 01:56:05 am
Quote from: graun
Seals live in the sea, not freshwater lakes.

I think there are freshwater common seals in Canuckistan.
[/quote]

Freshwater seals in Lake Saimaa in Finland, Pusa hispida
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Moleman76 on 29 January, 2023, 02:02:12 am
Quote
The pothole was over half a foot deep at its lowest point and a metre-wide length ways

Imperial measurements for depth, SI for width? 

Be careful, this kind of mixing measurement systems can lead to spacecraft crashes.

Were there MMMM or --IV--
(click to show/hide)
holes in Blackburn, Lancashire?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wobbly John on 29 January, 2023, 07:05:26 am
Our Highways dept reporting website suggest comparing the sixe of pothole you are reporting to eg a dinner plate, so I have submitted reports of “4 chicken nuggets deep “.  :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 29 January, 2023, 12:22:29 pm
Good stuff.  And it was "large boulder the size of a small boulder" day the other day too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 29 January, 2023, 06:56:39 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/jan/11/anglers-despair-as-trapped-seal-eats-essex-lakes-stocks

Not content at coming out as the straightest town in Britain, Rochford now boasts a seal in a fishing lake. Scarborough beat that recently with a masturbating walrus.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/comments/103e0jt/a_walrus_named_thor_stopped_by_scarborough/

Edit: bugger! Since I posted that someone has insisted that you have to be over 18 to see a walrus having a wank.

Seal developments: some silly sods, allegedly marine biologists, decided it would be a great idea to shoot the seal with a tranquilliser so that they could remove it from the lake. It was carefully sitting on an island at the time, apparently. As soon as it was shot by the dart, it behaved in a very predictable fashion by leaping into the water, whereupon it drowned.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 30 January, 2023, 09:35:41 am
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 February, 2023, 01:29:30 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-64519500

Sauron's not happy to be associated with waste disposal.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 February, 2023, 03:00:30 pm
Count Binface will sort those lawyers out.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 February, 2023, 04:53:35 pm
In Middlesborough, it is forever 1977 and you can find your car propped up on bricks.
(https://i2-prod.gazettelive.co.uk/incoming/article26133002.ece/ALTERNATES/s810/0_Grange-Road-in-Middlesbrough.jpg)

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/car-parts-left-behind-drivers-26132477
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 08 February, 2023, 05:18:55 pm
I've just had a quote of £165 per tyre for new tyres on my car.

Wheels have to be one of the most nickable and valuable items on the street.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 February, 2023, 10:46:32 pm
Tawny owl rescued after becoming trapped in wood-burner (https://www.kentonline.co.uk/tonbridge/news/tawny-owl-trapped-in-wood-burner-was-furious-282018/)

RSCPA inspector Rachel Smith described the wol as “furious”, which earned him a spot in Angry Wols People In Local Newspapers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 11 February, 2023, 11:01:39 pm
I've just booked a weekend in Matlock for Jan and me, 10th - 13th March. The Riverbank Hotel where we've booked, boasts a 7kW charger. The Indian restaurant across the road, the Maazi, claims:

Quote
In a histrionic ambience that carves the cultural heritage of its origin, entrepreneur Irfan Shabir brings his home to you.

Aromatic curries served in clay-pots, hand-crafted menus and traditional incense of agarbatti lures your senses into the rich culinary art of India in every bite. Let’s get nostalgic, together!

Exciting!

https://maazi.co.uk/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 11 February, 2023, 11:14:36 pm
Tawny owl rescued after becoming trapped in wood-burner (https://www.kentonline.co.uk/tonbridge/news/tawny-owl-trapped-in-wood-burner-was-furious-282018/)

RSCPA inspector Rachel Smith described the wol as “furious”, which earned him a spot in Angry Wols People In Local Newspapers.

Superb.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 11 February, 2023, 11:26:47 pm
I see toowit tooyou did there ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Hot Flatus on 12 February, 2023, 08:51:06 pm
Spending sunday evening in Swindon watching Megaslam is not quite how I envisaged my life panning out tbqhwy

(https://i.ibb.co/vVhJTZm/IMG-20230212-163624-929.jpg) (https://ibb.co/ydp8ZW5)
(https://i.ibb.co/YB2Bgvw/IMG-20230212-163644-293.jpg) (https://ibb.co/Df4fd3T)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 12 February, 2023, 09:24:41 pm
I suspect there’s a small involved in the misdirection of your life this evening  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Clare on 12 February, 2023, 10:07:13 pm
Is Roger the one in the red pants?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 12 February, 2023, 10:17:02 pm
My maternal grandmother used to like watching the wrestling on a Saturday afternoon in the early 1960s. Names like Jackie Pallo and Mick McManus spring to mind.

I have a vague recollection of one of the old women sitting by the side of the rign stabbing one of the wrestlers with her knitting needles.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 12 February, 2023, 11:23:58 pm
In my case it was my paternal grandmother. She did not like Mick Mcmanus because he would ‘fight dirty’. I suspect that he and his promoters would take this as a win  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 February, 2023, 07:07:47 am
I did like Taggart while he was still alive.  I lost interest afterwards.

My grandmother also had a penchant for the wrestling.  She took my mother once (as a girl) and someone's knocked-out teeth landed at their feet  :sick:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 13 February, 2023, 09:15:30 am
My maternal grandmother used to like watching the wrestling on a Saturday afternoon in the early 1960s. Names like Jackie Pallo and Mick McManus spring to mind.

I have a vague recollection of one of the old women sitting by the side of the rign stabbing one of the wrestlers with her knitting needles.

Used to watch that with my chum Dennis when I was ~12. "Rip his arm off" was one of our gentler comments.  Was very disappointed when my father told me it was all rigged.

Names: Kent Walton, Masambula. Walton: "Masambula is the one with the white tops on his wrestling boots".

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 13 February, 2023, 12:22:53 pm
In the interests of balance, my maternal grandmother was into boxing.  I'm not sure why.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 February, 2023, 01:20:51 pm
It is or used to be a bit of a cliche that boxing and wrestling audiences were mostly composed of elderly women satisfying their blood lust.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 13 February, 2023, 01:32:18 pm
My dad used to enjoy watching it too. But he was aware of the rigged-ness of it all. ISTR hearing that one of the Chief Riggers was Mick McManus himself. I don't ever recall him losing.

Edit: Aha!

Quote
Concurrently with his career in the wrestling ring, McManus ran the London office of professional wrestling promotion firm Dale Martin, determining the matches and their results.[1]

From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mick_McManus_(wrestler)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Socks on 13 February, 2023, 02:00:39 pm
When I was a student at Keele a few of us went to Stoke City Hall to see  Giant Haystacks (the bad guy) and Big Daddy (the good guy).  Surprisingly the good guy won, eventually.  The crowd did indeed include a significant number of older ladies and the atmosphere was quite lively.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 13 February, 2023, 03:16:48 pm
My dad used to enjoy watching it too. But he was aware of the rigged-ness of it all. ISTR hearing that one of the Chief Riggers was Mick McManus himself. I don't ever recall him losing.

Edit: Aha!

Quote
Concurrently with his career in the wrestling ring, McManus ran the London office of professional wrestling promotion firm Dale Martin, determining the matches and their results.[1]

From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mick_McManus_(wrestler)

From same: "his good friend Lord Attenborough".  Dickie, not David.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 February, 2023, 09:53:32 pm
In the interests of balance, my maternal grandmother was into boxing.  I'm not sure why.
Maybe she had a good left hook and was quick on her feet.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 13 February, 2023, 11:42:08 pm
My dad used to enjoy watching it too. But he was aware of the rigged-ness of it all. ISTR hearing that one of the Chief Riggers was Mick McManus himself. I don't ever recall him losing.

Edit: Aha!

Quote
Concurrently with his career in the wrestling ring, McManus ran the London office of professional wrestling promotion firm Dale Martin, determining the matches and their results.[1]

From https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mick_McManus_(wrestler)

From same: "his good friend Lord Attenborough".  Dickie, not David.

I recall reading somewhere, not sure where, but probably the Graun, that it was strongly suggested that when Dickie Attenborough was ennobled, the palace or their advisors got the wrong brother.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 18 February, 2023, 04:51:14 pm
North Wales woman 'chased by badger' in Shell garage (https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/north-wales-woman-chased-badger-26237482).

Quote
Molly Padget, who is originally from Hawarden, was on her way back from work when she stopped in at a Shell garage and soon found herself being chased around by a silver-haired menace.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 February, 2023, 07:05:09 pm
Badger? That's a steely haired audaxer, in and out in minimum time looking for a bottle of Frijj to power through the next 100km.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 February, 2023, 07:12:04 pm
Was the curry okay?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 February, 2023, 07:15:49 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23329896.swindon-ranked-among-worst-places-live-uk-new-poll/

Vox pop suggests most people in Swindon think it's shite, too.

Sole fan of the town, Jan Blankenstein, retired under unfortunate circumstances involving a patient and his judgement may therefore be questionable  ;D  https://www.gcc-uk.org/assets/hearings/Blankenstein_-_Notice_of_Decision.pdf
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 18 February, 2023, 08:36:07 pm
North Wales woman 'chased by badger' in Shell garage (https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/north-wales-woman-chased-badger-26237482).

Quote
Molly Padget, who is originally from Hawarden, was on her way back from work when she stopped in at a Shell garage and soon found herself being chased around by a silver-haired menace.

When my daughter was a Reprobate Sixth Former, she used to go drinking with her mates on a Friday evening and often didn't arrive home until some small hour or other. She told me once that she and a few friends, one warm summer night, disappeared off to some local woodlands and around dawn they were chased by a badger, which by her account was pretty determined.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 19 February, 2023, 01:43:27 pm
North Wales woman 'chased by badger' in Shell garage (https://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/north-wales-woman-chased-badger-26237482).

Quote
Molly Padget, who is originally from Hawarden, was on her way back from work when she stopped in at a Shell garage and soon found herself being chased around by a silver-haired menace.

Sad to read that the Shell station is actually in Stafford rather than Hawarden.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 01 March, 2023, 02:44:12 pm
WRT the use of alternative terms for cycling "facilities"...

https://www.inverness-courier.co.uk/news/inverness-psychopath-road-sign-was-rogue-installation-304917/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=facebook
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 March, 2023, 11:55:09 am
Lady visits "clothing retailer". Isn't happy.  (https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23353582.matalan-customer-outraged-swindon-store-axes-changing-rooms/)

(Sorry, Swindon again)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 March, 2023, 12:06:30 pm
It's a fair point though, even if made in a very Swindonian fashion.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 March, 2023, 12:09:45 pm
I wouldn't be surprised if thievery was a significant factor in the decision.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 03 March, 2023, 02:38:10 pm
I’m beginning to form the opinion that we need a separate ‘Little eye on Swindon’ thread so that Rog and co have somewhere to call their own  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 03 March, 2023, 06:09:26 pm
I wouldn't be surprised if thievery was a significant factor in the decision.

Either that, they needed the floor space for something more profitable, or they don't want the transphobes kicking off.

I wonder if people not being able to determine that things don't fit leads to higher overall sales, as they fail to get round to returning stuff.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 March, 2023, 06:42:16 pm
I believe M&S Inverness was the first M&S to have changing rooms. The Eastgate Centre opened in 1983 and I would think the changing rooms were put in later. They were definitely in in 1991, 'cos the Centre Manager of the time told me about them and their history.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 March, 2023, 06:50:00 pm
Presumably it saves on staffing costs too.

I'm not sure about returns. There's the wardrobing trend we hear about, where people order clothes, wear them once or twice, claim they didn't fit and send them back. Some people, so I've read, even have special label attachment guns at home for this purpose. I'm sure there's at least a bit of exaggeration there, and it probably applies more to the online, clothing-focused retailers, rather than Matalan (who I would have associated with cushions and Ikea-type stuff, but I'm pretty sure I've never been to one).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 10 March, 2023, 04:24:07 pm
Man goes equipped to read water meters (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/mystery-man-crowbar-caught-doorbell-8238404)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 15 March, 2023, 08:58:20 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/15/i-have-a-naked-lookalike-and-he-is-making-a-fortune-on-onlyfans-adrian-chiles

That's one of the weirdest things I've read in a while. In this thread because of the Brummagem connection.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 15 March, 2023, 10:14:52 pm
By Brummie landmarks you just know he means the Rotunda.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 16 March, 2023, 01:29:26 am
dribbles butter
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 16 March, 2023, 09:06:32 am
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/15/i-have-a-naked-lookalike-and-he-is-making-a-fortune-on-onlyfans-adrian-chiles (https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/15/i-have-a-naked-lookalike-and-he-is-making-a-fortune-on-onlyfans-adrian-chiles)

That's one of the weirdest things I've read in a while. In this thread because of the Brummagem connection.


A man who seems to be paid to write drivel.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/16/3999-for-a-cargo-bike-how-a-new-kind-of-class-politics-arrived-on-britains-streets
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 16 March, 2023, 09:48:11 am
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/15/i-have-a-naked-lookalike-and-he-is-making-a-fortune-on-onlyfans-adrian-chiles (https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/15/i-have-a-naked-lookalike-and-he-is-making-a-fortune-on-onlyfans-adrian-chiles)

That's one of the weirdest things I've read in a while. In this thread because of the Brummagem connection.


A man who seems to be paid to write drivel.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/16/3999-for-a-cargo-bike-how-a-new-kind-of-class-politics-arrived-on-britains-streets

It is drivel, but this

Quote
I notice fall into two categories. There are the four-grand ones, pedalled by (obviously) affluent parents. But most of them, probably just as expensive, are ridden by the decidedly unaffluent, slogging around being paid peanuts to supply the affluent with takeaways and assorted other essentials of modern life.

Isn't wrong
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 16 March, 2023, 09:59:51 am
Thank dog he didn’t see how much mine cost!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 March, 2023, 10:17:18 am
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/15/i-have-a-naked-lookalike-and-he-is-making-a-fortune-on-onlyfans-adrian-chiles (https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/15/i-have-a-naked-lookalike-and-he-is-making-a-fortune-on-onlyfans-adrian-chiles)

That's one of the weirdest things I've read in a while. In this thread because of the Brummagem connection.


A man who seems to be paid to write drivel.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/16/3999-for-a-cargo-bike-how-a-new-kind-of-class-politics-arrived-on-britains-streets

It is drivel, but this

Quote
I notice fall into two categories. There are the four-grand ones, pedalled by (obviously) affluent parents. But most of them, probably just as expensive, are ridden by the decidedly unaffluent, slogging around being paid peanuts to supply the affluent with takeaways and assorted other essentials of modern life.

Isn't wrong
Absolutely. In general he seems to write a lot of drivel with a sentence or two of sense hidden away in it. Two of his favourite topics are football (he's a West Brom supporter IIRC) and peeing, but both from the perspective of things going or being wrong. This must be peak Adrian Chiles: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/apr/21/urinal-in-my-flat-changed-my-life-so-why-are-people-appalled
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 March, 2023, 02:38:22 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/leisure/23396804.wiltshire-beauty-spots-used-dogging/

This was brought to you as a public service by the Swindon Advertiser.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 19 March, 2023, 04:27:18 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/leisure/23396804.wiltshire-beauty-spots-used-dogging/

This was brought to you as a public service by the Swindon Advertiser.

“ Off A419, towards South Cerney”

Didn’t you and I meet near there once, to admire clothing?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 19 March, 2023, 05:36:54 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/15/i-have-a-naked-lookalike-and-he-is-making-a-fortune-on-onlyfans-adrian-chiles (https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/15/i-have-a-naked-lookalike-and-he-is-making-a-fortune-on-onlyfans-adrian-chiles)

That's one of the weirdest things I've read in a while. In this thread because of the Brummagem connection.


A man who seems to be paid to write drivel.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/16/3999-for-a-cargo-bike-how-a-new-kind-of-class-politics-arrived-on-britains-streets

Coincidentally his wife is the editor.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 19 March, 2023, 09:38:39 pm
That's interesting, but to be fair he was writing his drivel for the Graun before they got married, and possibly before she became editor. Not sure about that last.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 March, 2023, 10:41:24 pm
She became editor in 2015, he started writing in the Guardian in 2019 and they got married last year. His Wikipedia article says:
Quote
Chiles began writing a regular column for The Guardian in February 2019.[37] He confirmed his relationship with the newspaper's editor, Katharine Viner, in an interview with The Daily Telegraph in April 2020, saying "I’ve got a horror of talking about relationships. I don’t mind saying I’m with Kath."[34] Chiles has said that the relationship began as a result of him writing the column and not the other way around.
Which might or might not be true.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 March, 2023, 02:00:14 pm
Stroud is a barren, inhospitable dive and cultural desert (https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/business_news/23397820.stroud-barren-inhospitable-dive-cultural-dessert/).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 20 March, 2023, 02:06:46 pm
Stroud is a barren, inhospitable dive and cultural desert (https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/business_news/23397820.stroud-barren-inhospitable-dive-cultural-dessert/).

"You could cast a Zombie movie with free extras from Stroud. They don't even need any makeup." Class.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 March, 2023, 02:30:14 pm
Stroud is a barren, inhospitable dive and cultural desert (https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/business_news/23397820.stroud-barren-inhospitable-dive-cultural-dessert/).
Written by someone who has evidently never visited Swindon, Dunstable or Telford.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 20 March, 2023, 02:34:59 pm
EMinor reckons that something went horribly wrong in Stroud about thirty years ago, and everyone born there since that (unspecified) event is a waste of oxygen.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on 20 March, 2023, 02:36:35 pm
Stroud is a barren, inhospitable dive and cultural desert (https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/business_news/23397820.stroud-barren-inhospitable-dive-cultural-dessert/).
Written by someone who has evidently never visited Swindon, Dunstable or Telford.


... or Middlesbrough, Newport or Doncaster.

This could run and run! Three more, please.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 March, 2023, 02:44:07 pm
Merrywalks (not sure if it's plural or possessive but we never called it Merrywalk) went wrong long, long before that, though it's probably no worse than any other 1960s indoor shopping centre.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 20 March, 2023, 02:51:01 pm
it's probably no worse than any other 1960s indoor shopping centre.

If it's still standing it is...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 20 March, 2023, 02:52:34 pm
Merrywalks (not sure if it's plural or possessive but we never called it Merrywalk) went wrong long, long before that, though it's probably no worse than any other 1960s indoor shopping centre.

It is called Five Valleys now.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 20 March, 2023, 05:45:35 pm
There's always Southend.... https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/mar/20/home-town-city-toxic-culture-war-southend-underfunding-england#comments
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 March, 2023, 01:00:05 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23401680.swindon-town-shirt-found-bars-pride-place-real-madrid/#comments-anchor

Swindon Town shirt proudly displayed by a bunch of German wenkers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 April, 2023, 09:08:47 am
"Do you reckon we need planning permission for these?"

"Nah, they're so subtle, no-one will care."

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23431643.old-town-clubs-distinctive-nightclub-frontage-refused-permission/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 04 April, 2023, 11:50:56 am
Woman in Ayrshire has Jurek-like experience.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-65092730 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-65092730)

If only we had a photo showing the reaction of forum members when encountering a member of Sciurus carolinensis
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 04 April, 2023, 11:56:40 am
Ah, I just came here to post that...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 April, 2023, 11:59:42 am
(Note to self: set up text replacement shortcut for That Photo :demon: )
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 04 April, 2023, 12:42:23 pm
I have a list of names.....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 04 April, 2023, 12:42:32 pm
Ah, I just came here to post that...

It was posted earlier in 'thought of you'.  :P
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 04 April, 2023, 12:44:06 pm
A list which is growing in length.....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 04 April, 2023, 12:49:27 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 04 April, 2023, 12:49:54 pm
Soulless bumhole (https://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/23430164.comedian-calls-swindon-soulless-bumhole-twitter-video/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 April, 2023, 07:21:29 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23434377.swindon-customer-outraged-half-empty-costa-coffee/

One for APILN.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 05 April, 2023, 09:49:38 am
Proper compo face, that one.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 08 April, 2023, 12:22:19 am
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/manchester-palace-theatre-bodyguard-musical-26657447


Mancs.....  :facepalm: ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 12 April, 2023, 06:51:35 am
A list which is growing in length.....


https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/12/the-secret-lives-of-grey-squirrels-the-telly-was-off-the-wall-plates-were-smashed-furniture-was-ripped (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/12/the-secret-lives-of-grey-squirrels-the-telly-was-off-the-wall-plates-were-smashed-furniture-was-ripped?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other)


I must pop over to Manchester & try this place…. Crispy buttermilk squirrel…


https://twitter.com/streeturchin5/status/1637141393171726340 (https://twitter.com/streeturchin5/status/1637141393171726340?s=12)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 12 April, 2023, 11:11:52 am
A list which is growing in length.....


https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/12/the-secret-lives-of-grey-squirrels-the-telly-was-off-the-wall-plates-were-smashed-furniture-was-ripped (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/12/the-secret-lives-of-grey-squirrels-the-telly-was-off-the-wall-plates-were-smashed-furniture-was-ripped?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other)


I must pop over to Manchester & try this place…. Crispy buttermilk squirrel…


https://twitter.com/streeturchin5/status/1637141393171726340 (https://twitter.com/streeturchin5/status/1637141393171726340?s=12)

Stuff of nightmares.......
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 April, 2023, 11:39:43 am
Meanwhile, in not-racist Essex...

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/11/essex-pub-landlady-benice-ryley-replaces-golliwog-doll-collection-that-was-seized-by-police

Quote
Ryley denied that she or her husband were racist. “I’m not a racist in any form.” She confirmed that her husband had been photographed in a T-shirt from the far-right group Britain First. She said: “I don’t think Chris is a supporter of Britain First, he was just wearing that shirt because it was convenient at the time.”

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 12 April, 2023, 12:48:58 pm
A list which is growing in length.....


https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/12/the-secret-lives-of-grey-squirrels-the-telly-was-off-the-wall-plates-were-smashed-furniture-was-ripped (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/12/the-secret-lives-of-grey-squirrels-the-telly-was-off-the-wall-plates-were-smashed-furniture-was-ripped?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other)


I must pop over to Manchester & try this place…. Crispy buttermilk squirrel…


https://twitter.com/streeturchin5/status/1637141393171726340 (https://twitter.com/streeturchin5/status/1637141393171726340?s=12)

Just because you can eat something doesn't mean you should.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 April, 2023, 01:27:17 pm
Who among us can say that they don't have a whole shelf of T-shaped shirts from far-right grifters bought by accident?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 12 April, 2023, 01:56:12 pm
Who among us can say that they don't have a whole shelf of T-shaped shirts from far-right grifters bought by accident?


Tory councillor….. hold my beer….


https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/tory-politician-claims-all-white-29689753 (https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/politics/tory-politician-claims-all-white-29689753)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: chrisbainbridge on 12 April, 2023, 10:45:08 pm
I did think why would you even own such a t-shirt.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 April, 2023, 09:05:46 am
Stay classy, Swindon.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23450382.woman-spotted-urinating-swindon-town-centre-ask-crisps/#comments-anchor

The crisps make the story, really.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 April, 2023, 09:10:30 am
I did think why would you even own such a t-shirt.
"I just put it on that day at random. I don't know how it even got in my wardrobe. I think a friend gave it me. He got it from a charity shop. Nobody knew what it meant. It didn't mean anything." et cetera, and other completely plausible reasons...

I read somewhere that CAMRA are "investigating" how the.ir SW Essex branch came to recommend this pub
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 13 April, 2023, 10:00:13 am
I did think why would you even own such a t-shirt.
I read somewhere that CAMRA are "investigating" how the.ir SW Essex branch came to recommend this pub


I'm reading on another site that the local branch used to have regular meetings there.  https://swessex.camra.org.uk/diary_archive2020.html 



Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 April, 2023, 10:13:51 am
"I'm only wearing this Nazi armband because it covers that virile Celtic-style tattoo I had done in the 90s, which looks shit on a 55 year old"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: matthew on 13 April, 2023, 10:30:56 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-65260212 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-65260212)

Problems at Waterloo station, the BBC reports:
Quote
Two services per hour are running between Reading and London, while other stations including Queenstown Road and Hampton Court have no service at all.

Maybe they don't realise but two trains an hour to Reading is the full service!! Admittedly there are trains that branch off to Windsor and Weybridge on the way out of London which increases the frequency further into the smoke.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 13 April, 2023, 10:54:46 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-65260945

Golly pub loses CAMRA award eligibility.

The photo of the pub shows a couple of large England flags flying.  That would tell.me all I needed to know.

I admit we had gollies in the 70s and in no way associated them with black people*, but times have changed.


*my sister had a proper realistic African baby doll (as would be owned by a black child) brought back by an aunt from South Africa.  It was as far from appearance to a golly as you can imagine.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 13 April, 2023, 11:05:19 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-65260945

Golly pub loses CAMRA award eligibility.


Dunno why the police would seize items merely considered offensive. Sure they might cause a punch-up but so might a thick fart and they're not going to drive around with corks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 April, 2023, 11:29:30 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-65260945

Golly pub loses CAMRA award eligibility.

The photo of the pub shows a couple of large England flags flying.  That would tell.me all I needed to know.

I admit we had gollies in the 70s and in no way associated them with black people*, but times have changed.


*my sister had a proper realistic African baby doll (as would be owned by a black child) brought back by an aunt from South Africa.  It was as far from appearance to a golly as you can imagine.
There was a make of dolls in the 70s called Sasha dolls, made in Sweden IIRC, which were not only available in a variety of realistic skin tones and facial features, they also had realistic child proportions and even – though this had to be later removed for the UK market at least – realistically shaped child genitals. Obviously that's not what your sister had, but does show that similar-ish things were available here too way back then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 13 April, 2023, 11:57:12 am
My GD had/has a very realistic doll in baby proportions and with a dark brown skin colour.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 April, 2023, 12:00:19 pm
And there's more. Jokes about lynching, allegedly.
Quote
In March 2016, in a Facebook post still online, Ryley uploaded a picture of golliwogs hanging from his bar with the comment “We have our golliwogs, yaay.” Commenting on the post his wife, Benice Ryley asked: “Are you sure this is legal. lol” The landlord replied: “They used to hang them in Mississippi years ago.”
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2023/apr/13/essex-police-investigating-golliwog-pub-display-examine-landlord-lynching-post
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 April, 2023, 12:22:18 pm
There is still a golly on the windowsill of my bedroom at Fort Larrington but it was Professor Larrington's, not mine, and has been provisionally dated to 1960.  Dunno how it migrated into my room from hers, though her wonky-faced teddy bear has done the same.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 April, 2023, 12:25:53 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-65260945

Golly pub loses CAMRA award eligibility.

The photo of the pub shows a couple of large England flags flying.  That would tell.me all I needed to know.

I admit we had gollies in the 70s and in no way associated them with black people*, but times have changed.


*my sister had a proper realistic African baby doll (as would be owned by a black child) brought back by an aunt from South Africa.  It was as far from appearance to a golly as you can imagine.
There was a make of dolls in the 70s called Sasha dolls, made in Sweden IIRC, which were not only available in a variety of realistic skin tones and facial features, they also had realistic child proportions and even – though this had to be later removed for the UK market at least – realistically shaped child genitals. Obviously that's not what your sister had, but does show that similar-ish things were available here too way back then.

What did his sister have, and how do you know!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 13 April, 2023, 12:30:24 pm
Stay classy, Swindon.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23450382.woman-spotted-urinating-swindon-town-centre-ask-crisps/#comments-anchor

The crisps make the story, really.

And urinating in her underpass...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 April, 2023, 12:35:41 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-65260945

Golly pub loses CAMRA award eligibility.

The photo of the pub shows a couple of large England flags flying.  That would tell.me all I needed to know.

I admit we had gollies in the 70s and in no way associated them with black people*, but times have changed.


*my sister had a proper realistic African baby doll (as would be owned by a black child) brought back by an aunt from South Africa.  It was as far from appearance to a golly as you can imagine.
There was a make of dolls in the 70s called Sasha dolls, made in Sweden IIRC, which were not only available in a variety of realistic skin tones and facial features, they also had realistic child proportions and even – though this had to be later removed for the UK market at least – realistically shaped child genitals. Obviously that's not what your sister had, but does show that similar-ish things were available here too way back then.

What did his sister have, and how do you know!!
:facepalm: ::-) :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 13 April, 2023, 10:08:59 pm
https://www-bbc-co-uk.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296.amp?amp_gsa=1&amp_js_v=a9&usqp=mq331AQIUAKwASCAAgM%3D&fbclid=IwAR169o70oqUMYP0fMza9-d5BaxZwpT3L1egDyoo0E8j-CZhcSNeLJhLgMGA#amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&aoh=16814194678990&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com

Where does that one appear on the Stool Chart?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 13 April, 2023, 10:33:51 pm
https://www-bbc-co-uk.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296.amp?amp_gsa=1&amp_js_v=a9&usqp=mq331AQIUAKwASCAAgM%3D&fbclid=IwAR169o70oqUMYP0fMza9-d5BaxZwpT3L1egDyoo0E8j-CZhcSNeLJhLgMGA#amp_tf=From%20%251%24s&aoh=16814194678990&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com

Where does that one appear on the Stool Chart?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296.amp?
Without the extraneous crap in the URL.


Also from 2017.

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 13 April, 2023, 10:55:46 pm
Without the extraneous crap in the URL.

I see what you did there...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cygnet on 13 April, 2023, 11:11:20 pm
Without the extraneous crap in the URL.

I see what you did there...

Thanks for both the new link and the explanation. :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 14 April, 2023, 12:05:46 am
Without the extraneous crap in the URL.

I see what you did there...

I'd like to say it was intentional. Alas.

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 April, 2023, 07:52:12 pm
Wow displays his usual grasp of popular culture, this being a story that everyone else on the internet was talking about for a fortnight, three prime ministers ago  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 April, 2023, 03:37:17 pm
The golly pub story rumbles on:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-65297070

The BBC has used the Braverman-with-devil-horns photo again  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 April, 2023, 04:19:35 pm
A photo of the alleged graffito shews a CDC accompanied by the phrase or saying “BIG BLACK COOK”.  This leads me to suspect that Mrs Gammonella did it herself :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 April, 2023, 07:24:42 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-65306552

Sex pond bombed.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 18 April, 2023, 09:22:20 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-65306552

Sex pond bombed.

Quote
closure due to "pollution from public contamination"

 :-X
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vernon on 18 April, 2023, 09:04:31 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-65306552

Sex pond bombed.

Quote
The council's fitness branch, 1 Leisure, said issues were also caused by people wearing Deep Heat, fake tan and make-up.
That'll be the Pompey lasses then (or maybe the local drag queens).
 ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 April, 2023, 10:18:29 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23465290.standoff-canal-river-trust-tries-evict-boater/

Live updates as the Canal and River Trust try to evict a recidivist boater.  My experience of people who live on boats (Mr L has an amusing term for them), based on a grim canal holiday, is that they are among the most "difficult" people you are likely to encounter, and resent the rest of the world.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 April, 2023, 10:37:20 am
The term in question was invented by my erstwhile grate frend Samfast, a Filthy Lying Journalist Scum, for one particular boat-dweller, viz. my erstwhile grate frend Uncle Marvo.  Marvo freely admitted the accuracy of the term “aqua-pikey”.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 20 April, 2023, 02:05:56 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23465290.standoff-canal-river-trust-tries-evict-boater/

Live updates as the Canal and River Trust try to evict a recidivist boater.  My experience of people who live on boats (Mr L has an amusing term for them), based on a grim canal holiday, is that they are among the most "difficult" people you are likely to encounter, and resent the rest of the world.

Oi!

I used to live on boats. (Yes, plural, I had a boat-buying addiction.)

Please don't lump all boat-dwellers in the 'aqua-pikey' category, it is quite offensive. A bit like saying that all people who live in caravans are thieving violent aresholes.

I've lived on mooring strings alongside aformentioned aquapikeys and it was horrible.

I feel duty bound to explain some things here about CRT and licencing.
There are basically 2 sorts of licence you can have for an inland boat;
Continuous cruiser
Permanent mooring.

A continuous cruiser can only moor up for a period of up to two weeks. They must make attempts to be 'navigating' around the system (this is to stop people just shuttling up and down a couple of miles).

Permanent moorers pay mooring fees, usually for a specific location. This can be in a private marina or on a CRT mooring. That is on top of a licence fee.

Apart from the additional expense of mooring fees, there is a massive problem of there simply not being enough moorings. CRT have used multiple methods of massively jacking up the costs of moorings, plus they have shut down many previous residential moorings (in theory you aren't permitted to live aboard at a non-residential mooring). Being on a residential mooring implies lots of things, including paying council tax (in a marina, the marina will pay this and it is part of your fees).

So, you get quite a few people like 'George'. They don't have a mooring. They don't have permission to reside there. They pay the continuous cruiser fee and shuffle about a bit. While they have my sympathy (many of them would pay for a permanent residential mooring if one were available at anything close to a reasonable price), they are also a pain for people who just want to use the system. Genuine continuous cruisers get to a canal and find the entire bank lined with boats that never move - even though they are in 'temporary' locations. Nowhere to stop.
'George' has a heritage boat, and was in the middle of doing restorations. He had materials and tools on the canal bank while he was doing his work.
CRT know that if they get rid of George, they can rent the mooring for far more to a person who wants a permanent mooring for their holiday boat. They own the canal bank, so they take George's materials and tools away. Is this theft? Erm, yes. Removal of items with intent to permanently deprive.

So, while I wouldn't want to live next to George's mess, he has my sympathy.
CRT will likely lift out two 120-year-old heritage boats, that should be restored and crush them.

If they were old historic buildings being knocked down for modern flats, we'd be furious.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 20 April, 2023, 09:30:20 pm
It's a busy news day in Swindon, with a free lesbian sex show.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23470319.drunk-womens-sex-acts-outside-iceland-leaves-onlookers-disgusted/

Seriously, the town centre is full of drunks and other addicts to the point of being unsafe now.  They shag outside the job centre too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 22 April, 2023, 07:22:02 pm
Swindon. Sorry.

Train museum has old things in it! (PS, I am standing for election)

https://www.wiltsglosstandard.co.uk/news/23469620.steam-museum-tired-absolutely-dead-swindon-mum-says/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 April, 2023, 04:46:17 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23472412.swindon-bins-randomly-appear-no-one-knows-came/

Call Mulder and Scully.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 23 April, 2023, 05:17:16 pm
Swindonian patois ^^^ has rules all its own:

Quote
One of the pair is a red metallic can that’s lid reads...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 April, 2023, 05:50:32 pm
The Swindon Advertiser is written by semi-literate meeja studies grads in an Oxford office these days.  Somehow this makes the content even funnier.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 24 April, 2023, 08:32:06 am
It used to be "those as can't, teach".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 April, 2023, 12:55:26 pm
Meanwhile, in Bradford, they have a hairy problem with their drains.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-65412064
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 27 April, 2023, 01:22:21 pm
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/sunderland-cctv-b1076742.html   


Sunderland man has a way with the birds.....  :jurek:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 April, 2023, 01:32:56 pm
Good job it wasn't a swan.  Those can break your *checks notes* arm...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 April, 2023, 02:50:37 pm
He needs to brush up on the definition of seagulling.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Paul on 27 April, 2023, 04:27:33 pm
Ah, so he was up in front of the beak?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 April, 2023, 05:15:46 pm
Bristol is full of walkers. They like to do it in the parks, but some of them would rather do it with someone else. (https://www.bristol247.com/lifestyle/news-lifestyle/people-from-bristol-walk-more-than-anywhere-else-in-uk/)
No, that's not a typo, but it might be a Blur reference.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 27 April, 2023, 05:48:45 pm
Ah, so he was up in front of the beak?
I see what you did there.
Ver' good.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 April, 2023, 11:45:40 am
Keynsham in the news! (https://road.cc/content/news/rees-mogg-calls-cycle-lane-failed-experiment-300881)
Admittedly it's only cycling news, but for bonus points it features Jacob Rees-Mogg.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 28 April, 2023, 01:40:07 pm
Quote
A guinea pig which was unexpectedly posted through the window of a Kirkwall property has been safely returned to its owner.

https://www.orcadian.co.uk/police-investigate-guinea-pig-incident/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 28 April, 2023, 01:59:58 pm
Quote
A guinea pig which was unexpectedly posted through the window of a Kirkwall property has been safely returned to its owner.

https://www.orcadian.co.uk/police-investigate-guinea-pig-incident/

"It was part of an experiment, officer."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 03 May, 2023, 03:53:32 pm
The golly pub is no more.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-65471314

What a shame for the local racist beer enthusiasts.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 03 May, 2023, 06:09:14 pm
And they're alleged to emigrating permanently.  I feel sorry for Johnny Turk now.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 03 May, 2023, 11:47:49 pm
When you espouse white supremacy, the best thing you can do is go and live in a hot place. Even if it is full of TEH FORRENS.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 04 May, 2023, 07:15:14 am
They'll probably run an "English Pub" in Magaluf, where the locals merely roll their eyes at British boorishness, and count the tourist money.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 04 May, 2023, 10:57:08 am
Pointless cock to be crowned (SFW) (https://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/gloucester-news/zoe-ball-announce-cinderfords-winning-8407588)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 May, 2023, 09:40:16 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23503921.king-charles-coronation-bunting-torn-b-q-lorry/

If only they knew a store selling string.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 06 May, 2023, 01:19:17 pm
Another from Swindon. https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23494605.swindon-driver-slams-reckless-cyclist-harrowing-car-crash/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PaulF on 06 May, 2023, 02:18:13 pm
Another from Swindon. https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23494605.swindon-driver-slams-reckless-cyclist-harrowing-car-crash/
I’m sure if that cyclist had been wearing a helmet he wouldn’t have ended up with a broken leg :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 06 May, 2023, 02:30:20 pm
Doesn't say what colour her car is.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 06 May, 2023, 06:55:20 pm
Utter nobody TikTok-er has a go at sensibly-priced house.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23503423.tiktoker-slams-price-wrecked-swindon-house-sale/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 May, 2023, 06:33:56 pm
Anyone we know?  RZ?

Latex-clad gimp returns to Somerset and is seen 'writhing and crawling' on ground. (https://www.somersetlive.co.uk/news/somerset-news/latex-clad-gimp-returns-somerset-8426004)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 10 May, 2023, 06:49:08 pm
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/somerset-gimp-charged-police-b2336131.html

Been charged now.  Is it bad that I also thought it must be a forum member?  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 16 May, 2023, 12:15:13 pm
A Lincolnshire beekeeper is giving up after multiple thefts of his bees.

Quote
Mr Williams, who said he had reported the first theft to police, said he now believed the thieves had used a drone to find the hives as they were not visible from the road or a nearby track.

Drone. Bees. Oh please yourselves.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-65552726 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-65552726)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 16 May, 2023, 12:44:30 pm
That must have stung a bit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 16 May, 2023, 12:57:12 pm
Linked through from the bee item on the beeb:-

https://www.spaldingtoday.co.uk/news/recycling-centre-warns-it-cannot-currently-accept-specific-i-9312830/

Quote
Spalding recycling centre warns it cannot currently accept specific item
 By Duncan Browne
 Published: 11:28, 16 May 2023
South Holland’s waste recycling centre has warned residents it is currently unable to accept a specific item.

Lincolnshire County Council – which runs the site – however, hopes the issue will be short term.

A statement read: “Spalding Household Waste Recycling Centre are currently unable to accept garden waste.

“We anticipate they will be able to accept it again later today and will keep you updated.”

Mr Brown is obviously living the dream writing up important breaking news like the dump's green waste bin needs emptying  :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 17 May, 2023, 11:35:57 am
High Wycombe: Entire car park ticketed after council error. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-65616515). If only some bright spark could invent a device that physically stopped drivers from entering a closed car park!  Hop to it, you clever buggers at CERN.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 17 May, 2023, 07:21:36 pm
King Charles III beheaded three times in village's knitted displays (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-65609940.amp)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 18 May, 2023, 09:01:06 am
What a load of bollocks - not...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-65625390
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 May, 2023, 09:05:27 am
Is that Glasgow, Scotland or the lesser known Glasgow in Florida? Though adverts showing David eating a pizza, drinking coke, using a phone, etc, are pretty boring anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 May, 2023, 09:44:04 am
What a load of bollocks - not...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-65625390
Classical statues always have near-invisible meat and two veg anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 May, 2023, 01:19:14 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23530806.harry-potter-fan-disgusted-appalled-wiltshire-performance/

Harry Potter fan dresses up as Hermione to attend a show unconnected to Harry Potter  ;D

This is how Inbetweeners 2 starts, isn't it?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 18 May, 2023, 01:26:29 pm
Worker thinks XX, YY and ??? in an email are sex-chat

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-65632912 (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-65632912)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 May, 2023, 07:55:00 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23530806.harry-potter-fan-disgusted-appalled-wiltshire-performance/

Harry Potter fan dresses up as Hermione to attend a show unconnected to Harry Potter  ;D

This is how Inbetweeners 2 starts, isn't it?

"HOGWARTS WANKERS!"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 May, 2023, 11:49:51 pm
https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/sutton-park-commonwealth-games-legacy-26943528

Go on, guess what the legacy is?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cygnet on 18 May, 2023, 11:59:49 pm
Without revealing too much: 4/200. Not even beginning to address two of the current problems.

But also  "That's a [sports] legacy :sick:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 19 May, 2023, 09:07:58 pm
Worker thinks XX, YY and ??? in an email are sex-chat

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-65632912 (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-65632912)

I dunno 'the solution us currently used by xx Agris companies and yy Barge lines in corn cargoes in south-north flows in the ???? waterways' sounds like pure smut to me. I mean, seriously, it can't just be me and Roger-the-Saurus who knows what a 'corn cargo' is.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on 20 May, 2023, 11:11:10 am
A problem I get with my swimming pool all the time.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/20/couple-get-payout-water-buffaloes-fall-into-essex-swimming-pool (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/20/couple-get-payout-water-buffaloes-fall-into-essex-swimming-pool)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 22 May, 2023, 11:29:28 pm
https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/23539819.southend-hospital-sees-road-outside-shut-off-police/

"Huge police cordon"

"Up to 4 police cars..."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 May, 2023, 11:50:00 am
A problem I get with my swimming pool all the time.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/20/couple-get-payout-water-buffaloes-fall-into-essex-swimming-pool (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/20/couple-get-payout-water-buffaloes-fall-into-essex-swimming-pool)
Yay, coMPo!

Can two cow things really cause £25k of damage to a pool?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 23 May, 2023, 11:54:24 am
A problem I get with my swimming pool all the time.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/20/couple-get-payout-water-buffaloes-fall-into-essex-swimming-pool (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/20/couple-get-payout-water-buffaloes-fall-into-essex-swimming-pool)
Yay, coMPo!

Can two cow things really cause £25k of damage to a pool?

8 cow things.

And they made it leak, apparently.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 23 May, 2023, 11:58:26 am
A problem I get with my swimming pool all the time.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/20/couple-get-payout-water-buffaloes-fall-into-essex-swimming-pool (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/20/couple-get-payout-water-buffaloes-fall-into-essex-swimming-pool)
Yay, coMPo!

Can two cow things really cause £25k of damage to a pool?

It says the pool was leaking, and while I don't know anything about pool construction, I'm willing to bet that beneath the tiles is some sort of pond liner thing that keeps the water in.  It doesn't seem improbable that a cow thing falling in a pool could crack a tile and pierce the liner, and I bet that's a pig of a job to replace.  At company-that-sells-specialist-products-to-rich-people rates.

Deduct a few k for fencing and other damage.

ETA: Crosspost with Jaded
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 23 May, 2023, 12:43:12 pm
That's not a very big pool for £70k.  Or is that what they cost?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: robgul on 23 May, 2023, 02:47:48 pm
A problem I get with my swimming pool all the time.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/20/couple-get-payout-water-buffaloes-fall-into-essex-swimming-pool (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/may/20/couple-get-payout-water-buffaloes-fall-into-essex-swimming-pool)
Yay, coMPo!

Can two cow things really cause £25k of damage to a pool?

It says the pool was leaking, and while I don't know anything about pool construction, I'm willing to bet that beneath the tiles is some sort of pond liner thing that keeps the water in.  It doesn't seem improbable that a cow thing falling in a pool could crack a tile and pierce the liner, and I bet that's a pig of a job to replace.  At company-that-sells-specialist-products-to-rich-people rates.

Deduct a few k for fencing and other damage.

ETA: Crosspost with Jaded

It's possible the main "tank" of the pool is a liner of some sort or "box" (I've GRP ones) with the tiles just being a coping around the edges  . ... a buffalo would probably pierce either material.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 15 June, 2023, 09:17:54 pm
Tree-huggers - ok.

Tree-shaggers - less ok.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23591663.naked-man-arrested-wiltshire-park-having-sex-tree/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on 20 June, 2023, 11:16:38 pm
https://www.sunderlandecho.com/news/sunderland-man-demands-refund-on-big-mac-stolen-by-seagull-4190010
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 20 June, 2023, 11:47:54 pm
https://www.sunderlandecho.com/news/sunderland-man-demands-refund-on-big-mac-stolen-by-seagull-4190010

Quote
"It happens all the time to everybody”

Must pop up there to watch.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 22 June, 2023, 11:52:41 am
https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/sunderland-cctv-b1076742.html (https://www.standard.co.uk/news/crime/sunderland-cctv-b1076742.html)   


Sunderland man has a way with the birds.....  :jurek:


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12220313/Man-40-jailed-24-weeks-performing-sex-act-kneeling-captured-baby-seagull.html




Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 June, 2023, 01:15:02 pm
Squirrel terrorises Brighton artist on 13th floor balcony (https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/23604947.squirrel-terrorises-brighton-artist-13th-floor-balcony/).

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 July, 2023, 07:47:40 pm
Conservatives will hold Somerton & Froome in the upcoming by-election

Quote
By the skin of their pants
according to Tory Woman on C4 News just now.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 20 July, 2023, 08:41:26 pm
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/headless-horse-washes-up-beach-8617136?utm_source=taboola&utm_medium=display&utm_campaign=exchange

"...and lies there for days."

What did they think it was going to do? Win the Grand National?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 July, 2023, 03:27:28 pm
This is a new take on the Legend of Sleepy Hollow.  Presumably it was ridden by a headed horseman.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 21 July, 2023, 04:31:49 pm
Is someone doing a Godfather remake nearby?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 21 July, 2023, 04:35:15 pm
Or somewhere there's a horseless headsman.

Llanelli residents are being cautioned to be very careful next time they buy sausages.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PaulF on 22 July, 2023, 08:12:07 am
Gateshead match abandoned after hearse drives onto pitch


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-66273898
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 July, 2023, 11:52:50 am
Headless hearseman joak goes here ==>
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 22 July, 2023, 12:51:20 pm
Headless hearseman joak goes here ==>
Any joaks about this will surely be a dead end.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: yorkie on 22 July, 2023, 03:10:21 pm
Headless hearseman joak goes here ==>
Any joaks about this will surely be a dead end.


Flogging a dead horse really...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 July, 2023, 07:07:50 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23681530.swindon-couple-depressed-number-seeds-massive-tree/

Oh woes! A tree is making me depressed by dropping seeds!

And they say it's Gen Z that are the snowflakes.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 July, 2023, 11:47:15 am
GenZ don't do gardening.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 July, 2023, 12:48:22 pm
They might do guerilla gardening.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 28 July, 2023, 08:47:50 pm
Honestly, I hope they get eaten by a gorilla.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 29 July, 2023, 08:22:55 am
"Swindon tree behind cruelty to gorillas".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 29 July, 2023, 10:26:29 am
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/jul/29/essex-rollercoaster-breakdown-leaves-riders-hanging-at-30-metres

Brings an entirely new meaning to "Hanging about by the pier."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 29 July, 2023, 10:32:55 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23681530.swindon-couple-depressed-number-seeds-massive-tree/

Oh woes! A tree is making me depressed by dropping seeds!

And they say it's Gen Z that are the snowflakes.

Some years ago I was walking in Priory park, which is an absolutely wonderful park and almost certainly the best bit of Southend. An old guy* was walking his dog and complaining about the number of leaves on the ground. I pointed out that there were a lot of trees and it was autumn, but he was unmoved. It was unsightly, untidy and the council should do something about it.

In a different conversation on another occasion, he commented, deadly serious, "I can tell the earth has shifted on its axis because the sun is shining under the peak of me cap. It never used to do that."

*The same guy, as it happened, who used the Mayoral Daimler as an offensive weapon and knocked me off my bike in July 1982, but that's another story.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 August, 2023, 09:20:31 am
https://metro.co.uk/2023/08/18/people-say-fly-infested-town-smells-of-boiled-chicken-and-death-19355314/?ico=metro-posts_article_whats-trending-now

I remember Hull coming no.1 in the first Crap Towns book largely because it "smells of death".  Well, Eye in Suffolk has gone one better.  Escape To The Country.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 August, 2023, 06:47:03 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23747096.swindon-soft-play-staff-deflate-bouncy-castle-boy/

They need to work on their compo faces.  Far too happy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 26 August, 2023, 06:58:22 am
Severe arthritis prevents grandmother, 26, from carrying her grandson.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 August, 2023, 07:15:52 am
Severe arthritis prevents grandmother, 26, from carrying her grandson.
But she can go on a bouncy castle!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 26 August, 2023, 10:09:54 am
Normal for South Park.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 September, 2023, 07:37:07 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23756549.swindon-brothers-sentenced-fight-morrisons/

Another deliciously scummy story.  I think these two miss school.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 01 September, 2023, 10:45:53 am
Quote
Thames AvenUe

This is either some attempt at rebranding Swindon, or another new Reach Executive Reporter.


PS. I love the way they repurpose one photo to make many.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 02 September, 2023, 07:06:24 am
Their grammer is so Bad that its qite hard to work our who did wot to who and where.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 02 September, 2023, 07:12:54 am
They got it wrong. Should be there grammer.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 06 September, 2023, 01:19:07 pm
https://twitter.com/i/status/1697866953073762581

A rather lovely video from the ancient "Tonight" programme, with Cliff Michelmore, Derek Hart and Fyfe Robertson. Berney Arms, 1960.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on 06 September, 2023, 01:42:06 pm
What a shame the pub closed in 2015.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: L CC on 07 September, 2023, 11:19:27 am
https://www.falmouthpacket.co.uk/news/23773591.zoe-young-falmouth-councillor-dog-ate-cannabis-laced-poo/

Dog eats shit
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 07 September, 2023, 04:54:47 pm
https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-66742339 (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-66742339)

Candles, bodies covered in blankets; got to be a satanic murder ritual.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 September, 2023, 05:17:58 pm
Yeah well, some people do think yoga is satanic anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 14 September, 2023, 02:24:04 pm
"More than half the cars on the street aren't mine (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-66801115)"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: robgul on 14 September, 2023, 02:58:02 pm
"More than half the cars on the street aren't mine (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-66801115)"

Come on now, that sort of behaviour isn't all that unusual . . . it is the Forest of Dean after all ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 14 September, 2023, 03:25:25 pm
He sounds like a lovely person to be neighbours with.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 14 September, 2023, 03:30:48 pm
I hope we all saw the related stories... https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-64810370
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 September, 2023, 04:19:44 pm
The bird's eye view shows it best.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 September, 2023, 05:32:28 pm
So if you have something illegal, just say you sold it to a Mexican, and you're in the clear.  Probably works better for things that aren't still in your garden, mind.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: sojournermike on 14 September, 2023, 07:19:32 pm
So if you have something illegal, just say you sold it to a Mexican, and you're in the clear.  Probably works better for things that aren't still in your garden, mind.

YACF shows me a world I’d rather I didn’t know existed.

Why don’t the council just knock it down while he’s in clink and put a cost reclamation order on his bank account…
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on 15 September, 2023, 09:35:10 am
The real question is why is he living in a shithole road in Cinderford where the average house price is £275,000?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: robgul on 15 September, 2023, 09:54:31 am
The real question is why is he living in a shithole road in Cinderford where the average house price is £275,000?

In your question the words "road in" are superfluous
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 15 September, 2023, 12:22:27 pm
The real question is why is he living in a shithole road in Cinderford where the average house price is £275,000?
That was my thoughts, why a massive house with little or no land on a street like that if he is indeed a millionaire. Perhaps he likes feeling he’s better than those around him becasue he lives in a bigger house.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: davelodwig on 15 September, 2023, 01:36:26 pm
On street view he's got loads of off street parking, hes just a bell end being a pain in the arse to his neighbors.

I imagine because he's made a wedge he thinks he's clever and can do what he wants.

Knobber.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: sojournermike on 15 September, 2023, 03:01:50 pm
On street view he's got loads of off street parking, hes just a bell end being a pain in the arse to his neighbors.

I imagine because he's made a wedge he thinks he's clever and can do what he wants.

Knobber.

He just hasn’t made a big enough wedge to do what he wants
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 September, 2023, 03:03:41 pm
Perhaps it's just where he's always lived. It's not as if a million is exactly James Bond money nowadays, especially for an old person who might have made a lucky investment earlier in life.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 15 September, 2023, 03:04:58 pm
On street view he's got loads of off street parking, hes just a bell end being a pain in the arse to his neighbors.

I imagine because he's made a wedge he thinks he's clever and can do what he wants.

Knobber.

He just hasn’t made a big enough wedge to do what he wants
He seems to think he has, if the stories of him ignoring the planning laws are anything to go by. It seems it’s something the council are spending a not inconsiderable effort of disabusing him.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 19 September, 2023, 01:29:03 pm
I did have to have a little chuckle at this... it's so Wiltshire.

We complained about an ugly pole and now our entire street won’t get fast broadband – even though rest of town will (https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/24012811/complained-pole-entire-street-broadband/)

[Warning: Links to The Sun]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on 19 September, 2023, 02:27:19 pm
I did have to have a little chuckle at this... it's so Wiltshire.

We complained about an ugly pole and now our entire street won’t get fast broadband – even though rest of town will (https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/24012811/complained-pole-entire-street-broadband/)

[Warning: Links to The Sun]

Whereas we have suitable poles already in place, but Gigaclear dug trenches down the length of the village to lay new ducts, that will involve digging up gardens to get FTTP from road boxes to the houses. I assume, although Openreach aren't interested in getting us FTTP they refused / made difficult access to their poles.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 19 September, 2023, 02:40:16 pm
From the road to a house they may use a mole rather than dig a trench. Frankly, although the immediate impact is greater (and will be felt until the entire footpaths are relaid), I think it's a better long term solution. It may well be that Openreach have a longer term plan to remove the poles.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 19 September, 2023, 02:48:33 pm
Considering there would be no profit gain in replacing overhead distribution with underground distribution I can’t see Openreach doing so without someone else footing the bill.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: davelodwig on 19 September, 2023, 03:35:07 pm
I did have to have a little chuckle at this... it's so Wiltshire.

We complained about an ugly pole and now our entire street won’t get fast broadband – even though rest of town will (https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/24012811/complained-pole-entire-street-broadband/)

[Warning: Links to The Sun]

Whereas we have suitable poles already in place, but Gigaclear dug trenches down the length of the village to lay new ducts, that will involve digging up gardens to get FTTP from road boxes to the houses. I assume, although Openreach aren't interested in getting us FTTP they refused / made difficult access to their poles.

Gigaclear won't be allowed to access the poles belonging to open-reach as they are a completely separate network and don't use any open-reach infrastructure.

We have it and I seem to remember that the government fastershire funding specified underground cabling, but not quite enough funding to do a decent job.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 September, 2023, 07:41:07 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23801181.swindon-pensioners-agent-orange-claim-grass-changes-colour/

Agent Orange wasn't actually orange  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 22 September, 2023, 08:11:49 am
£20 slippers? That’s a lot for Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on 22 September, 2023, 09:41:14 am
From the comments:
Quote
I wonder what's been spread in the air which caused this to happen? Chemtrails perhaps(?!)
Agent Orange is a chemical poisoning, and I fear that we are all being subjected to this in the air we breathe - this is evidence.

Where there's problems, there's profit. - "Make them all sick, then we'll sell them the medicine
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 September, 2023, 10:14:06 am
Quote
Until the sky turns green
The grass is several shades of blue
Every Member of Parliament trips on glue
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 22 September, 2023, 10:55:30 am
Maybe Ian Paisley Jr was in the area.

"Yes, Mr. Paisley, we know the grass is green, the daisies are white and the dandelions are golden but there's not a fucking thing we can do about it."

(C.f. Eire tricolour)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Poacher on 22 September, 2023, 03:34:34 pm
Spalding trader hits out at Lincolnshire Police after spending 25 minutes on phone to report man injecting penis outside Lloyds Bank in Hall Place
https://www.spaldingtoday.co.uk/news/man-seen-injecting-penis-with-drugs-in-town-centre-9331396/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 22 September, 2023, 08:47:34 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23801181.swindon-pensioners-agent-orange-claim-grass-changes-colour/

Agent Orange wasn't actually orange  :facepalm:

There were agents blue, pink, purple, white, orange and – wait for it – super-orange. The 'rainbow' herbicides, which, of course sounds a lot better than war crime, environment destruction, birth deformities, poisoning, and mass starvation.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 22 September, 2023, 09:21:23 pm
To be fair, Agent Orange wouldn't have caused humans any serious harm* had it not been for sloppy manufacture that resulted in a high dioxin content.  Dioxins are very bad, mmkay?


*well, apart from making it easier to find and napalm Charlie
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on 22 September, 2023, 09:30:06 pm
It's pretty difficult to make phenoxyesters without dioxin contaminants (well, they can be removed, but expensive).

2,4-D apparently has the power to give men abnormally shaped sperm, which I suppose is a good anecdote for dinner parties. Probably best you don't try to prove it, though.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 22 September, 2023, 10:07:03 pm
...There were agents blue, pink, purple, white, orange and – wait for it – super-orange. The 'rainbow' herbicides, which, of course sounds a lot better than war crime, environment destruction, birth deformities, poisoning, and mass starvation.

What we have here are the My Little Ponies of the Apocalypse and their codenames.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 September, 2023, 10:57:54 am
It's pretty difficult to make phenoxyesters without dioxin contaminants (well, they can be removed, but expensive).

2,4-D apparently has the power to give men abnormally shaped sperm, which I suppose is a good anecdote for dinner parties. Probably best you don't try to prove it, though.

And multiple myeloma.
Although that is difficult to isolate; farmers who use 2,4-D also used DDT and many other herbicides and pesticides. We were really careless, mixed the concentrates with bare hands, didn't wear any protective clothing when spraying. It killed my dad and I wouldn't be surprised if I get the same cancer (since we had the same exposure).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 September, 2023, 11:19:23 am
DDT is still used in places with a severe malaria problem.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 September, 2023, 09:13:51 am
The mediaeval masonic tradition is alive and well and living in Wiltshire.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-66923628

Perhaps Mr Thomas is descended from one of the masons who worked on Salisbury Cathedral?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 27 September, 2023, 09:49:43 am
The mediaeval masonic tradition is alive and well and living in Wiltshire.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-66923628

Perhaps Mr Thomas is descended from one of the masons who worked on Salisbury Cathedral?
I found his reply to the question ‘are you breaking the law’ very telling. I’m not breaking the law, I’m correcting it!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: toontra on 29 September, 2023, 06:46:02 pm
Kate Middleton not in Swindon -  https://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/23824010.kate-middleton-not-swindon/ (https://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/23824010.kate-middleton-not-swindon/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 29 September, 2023, 06:46:27 pm
BONG!!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 02 October, 2023, 06:16:54 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23828323.dockle-farmhouse-wetherspoons-pub-closes-rodent-runs-inside/#comments-anchor

Spoons customer rushes in as soon as it opens, place closed down.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 02 October, 2023, 07:10:21 pm
Kate Middleton not in Swindon -  https://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/23824010.kate-middleton-not-swindon/ (https://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/23824010.kate-middleton-not-swindon/)

From the comments:
"Perhaps they had a game of rock paper scissors to see who had to go to Swindon and she won."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on 02 October, 2023, 07:30:57 pm
It's pretty difficult to make phenoxyesters without dioxin contaminants (well, they can be removed, but expensive).

2,4-D apparently has the power to give men abnormally shaped sperm, which I suppose is a good anecdote for dinner parties. Probably best you don't try to prove it, though.

And multiple myeloma.
Although that is difficult to isolate; farmers who use 2,4-D also used DDT and many other herbicides and pesticides. We were really careless, mixed the concentrates with bare hands, didn't wear any protective clothing when spraying. It killed my dad and I wouldn't be surprised if I get the same cancer (since we had the same exposure).

My Devon farming relatives (by marriage) were convinced that, if the correct dose was good, double the dose must be twice as good (I'm thinking of sheep dip).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 11 October, 2023, 11:04:34 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23844737.woman-grabbed-brunel-centre-workers-testicles-bender/

"I'm afraid I was very, very drunk"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 18 October, 2023, 09:42:19 am
We're now living in a society where people need a court order to remind them not to shit in public.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23861232.chippenham-street-drinkers-told-not-urinate-defecate-town/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 18 October, 2023, 09:56:03 am
We're now living in a society where people need a court order to remind them not to shit in public.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23861232.chippenham-street-drinkers-told-not-urinate-defecate-town/

As an aside, there appear to be no public toilets in Chippenham.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 October, 2023, 10:08:54 am
We're now living in a society where people need a court order to remind them not to shit in public.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23861232.chippenham-street-drinkers-told-not-urinate-defecate-town/

As an aside, there appear to be no public toilets in Chippenham.
None in Bristol either (except one on the Downs and I think one at CSB, neither of which is council owned).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 21 October, 2023, 12:27:44 am
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2023/oct/20/cardiff-university-students-union-bans-chinos-and-blue-shirts-after-violence 


This was standard office wear for a lot of my life....  I was only once given a verbal warning when I threatened to punch some gobby twat....  :facepalm: [size=78%] [/size]



I'm not quite sure if Cardiff counts as a province  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 October, 2023, 01:41:45 pm
It might sound silly that clothes can alter people's behaviour, but not only does it act as a uniform by which people recognise others like or unlike them, it can give people a pattern to model themselves on. I've just been reading a book by Joe Simpson (a mountaineer) in which he mentions someone in his local pub in Sheffield who went from business attire to shaven head, bomber jacket etc (this was the 1980s) and started picking fights. Then later, after one too many fights, reverted to his previous mode of dress and meek and mild behaviour.

Of course those dedicated to violence will simply change their uniform, within certain broad limits.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 27 October, 2023, 01:25:35 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-67237610

Rampant donations
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 October, 2023, 01:32:29 pm
"Marital aids". HIV-positive couples?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Paul on 27 October, 2023, 03:54:38 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-67237610

Rampant donations
If they can afford to turn donations away they’re not that hard up.

They’d have them if they were strapped.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 October, 2023, 04:00:08 pm
The Somerset Gimp has been fined.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-67238445
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 October, 2023, 06:33:54 pm
Couple who hadn't paid for gas in 18 years shocked to receive £11k bill (https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/couple-who-hadnt-paid-gas-27978084).  A follow-up story indicates that their cat has been subsisting largely on gas bills for 18 years.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: quixoticgeek on 27 October, 2023, 06:38:06 pm
Couple who hadn't paid for gas in 18 years shocked to receive £11k bill (https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/couple-who-hadnt-paid-gas-27978084).  A follow-up story indicates that their cat has been subsisting largely on gas bills for 18 years.

Surely if it took 18 years to bill them, then they should be allowed 18 years to pay...

J
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 October, 2023, 10:22:49 pm
Couple who hadn't paid for gas in 18 years shocked to receive £11k bill (https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/couple-who-hadnt-paid-gas-27978084).  A follow-up story indicates that their cat has been subsisting largely on gas bills for 18 years.

Surely if it took 18 years to bill them, then they should be allowed 18 years to pay...

I thought there was a limit to how much they could backdate these things.  Though possibly that only applies if it's  a) a supplier  and  b) they've been making billing errors.

When I was a PSO, we didn't have a gas supplier for a couple of years.  London Electricity (remember them?) fraudulently took over our supply, which we were able to get reversed, but that somehow left us without a supplier.  We didn't give a shit, as we were still paying for the gas via the prepayment meter, so were in no hurry to get it resolved when whoever it was that maintained gas meters gave us a bollocking after they came to replace the battery.

The whole thing is a nonsese.  In a right-minded universe, the gas supplier would be whoever's at the other end of the pipe.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 October, 2023, 10:17:35 am
I'm still waiting (with horror) the free market in water supply. "Severn Trent Water is now part of the MuskServ Group. This means your water meter will no longer accurately measure the amount of water you use. This is due to the enhanced density and purity of water supplied by MuskServ. Unfortunately you were out last Saturday when we came to change your meter, so we've given you an estimated bill."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 28 October, 2023, 11:07:39 am
>inserts oft repeated rant about privatising utilities<
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 28 October, 2023, 01:46:03 pm
You get the water, they get the gravy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 31 October, 2023, 06:23:10 pm
It's just the one swan, actually (https://www.nottinghampost.com/news/local-news/swan-rescued-m1-returned-nature-8870383).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 03 November, 2023, 11:27:41 pm
The Somerset Gimp has been fined.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-67238445 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-67238445)


https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/nov/03/somerset-gimp-suit-man-banned-wearing-writhing-ground (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/nov/03/somerset-gimp-suit-man-banned-wearing-writhing-ground)



Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 07 November, 2023, 12:26:38 pm
https://www.brightonandhovenews.org/2023/11/06/insulate-britain-trial-delayed-as-hove-courts-heating-fails/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 November, 2023, 05:12:29 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/23937504.marlborough-parking-issues-put-off-couple-returning/

Free parking but it's a nightmare.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 24 November, 2023, 03:08:01 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/live-updates-area-outside-primark-28167933


It's not just cats stuck up trees they rescue......
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 24 November, 2023, 03:30:11 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/live-updates-area-outside-primark-28167933


It's not just cats stuck up trees they rescue......

Or not, as the case may be...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 25 November, 2023, 06:49:18 am
The seagull was trapped under a pile of Friends T-shirts flung on the floor by Primark shoppers?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 03 December, 2023, 04:16:17 pm
Goodbye Fiddlers Ferry power station.  Video of the demolition in the link below.


https://x.com/sky_rev/status/1731318493654417756 (https://x.com/sky_rev/status/1731318493654417756?s=12)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 07 December, 2023, 10:35:28 pm
https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/23974333.southend-changes-bin-collections-christmas/

Veolia (the Echo credits the photo to them) win first prize in the National Photography Awards Worst Photoshop entry.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 08 December, 2023, 09:52:02 pm
https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/23974548.hockley-valley-forge-owner-install-electric-fence-signs/

Quote
A DOG yelped after suffering an electric shock from a fence surrounding stables in Hockley...after vandals ripped down warning signs.

Of course, the warning signs would have made all the difference to the dog.

Sadly, it seems that the Echo now his the bulk of its articles lurking behind a semi-permeable pay-wall. I have a subscription which I don't pay for, so I think I can see all their articles. Is this the same for all Newsquest sites?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: toontra on 08 December, 2023, 09:57:47 pm
Of course, the warning signs would have made all the difference to the dog.

Well indeed, and any dog walker that doesn't know what an electric fence looks like probably shouldn't be out in the countryside unless accompanied by an appropriate adult.  Typical "local" press non-story.

Sadly almost all "local" press is well and truly dead these days thanks to Reach, Newsquest, etc.  There are a few hold-out exceptions - luckily for me the local Camden New Journal and Islington Tribune which actually do some journalism and have actual editors.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 09 December, 2023, 01:50:26 am
https://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/23974548.hockley-valley-forge-owner-install-electric-fence-signs/

Quote
A DOG yelped after suffering an electric shock from a fence surrounding stables in Hockley...after vandals ripped down warning signs.

Of course, the warning signs would have made all the difference to the dog.

Sadly, it seems that the Echo now his the bulk of its articles lurking behind a semi-permeable pay-wall. I have a subscription which I don't pay for, so I think I can see all their articles. Is this the same for all Newsquest sites?

Yup.

And, recently, they have blamed the BBC for their crap English, shit reporting and apallingly intrusive shitverts.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 17 December, 2023, 11:03:29 am
https://www.lincolnshire.gov.uk/news/article/1380/emergency-repairs-at-lincoln-glory-hole       
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 December, 2023, 08:12:27 pm
Of course, the warning signs would have made all the difference to the dog.

Well indeed, and any dog walker that doesn't know what an electric fence looks like probably shouldn't be out in the countryside unless accompanied by an appropriate adult.  Typical "local" press non-story.

Sadly almost all "local" press is well and truly dead these days thanks to Reach, Newsquest, etc.  There are a few hold-out exceptions - luckily for me the local Camden New Journal and Islington Tribune which actually do some journalism and have actual editors.
Turning off JavaScript makes the articles readable.  Then you'll wonder why you bothered.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 17 December, 2023, 11:10:18 pm
Of course, the warning signs would have made all the difference to the dog.

Well indeed, and any dog walker that doesn't know what an electric fence looks like probably shouldn't be out in the countryside unless accompanied by an appropriate adult.  Typical "local" press non-story.

Sadly almost all "local" press is well and truly dead these days thanks to Reach, Newsquest, etc.  There are a few hold-out exceptions - luckily for me the local Camden New Journal and Islington Tribune which actually do some journalism and have actual editors.
Turning off JavaScript makes the articles readable.  Then you'll wonder why you bothered.

Our Reach shithole has started adding in stories from further afield. So you click on a clickbait headline (yeah, I know...) and you are transported to the desiccation of a tattoo sporting miscreant in Teeside.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 18 December, 2023, 12:56:16 am
Reach have been doing that for a while.  Presumably it won't be long until it's all LLM-generated, apart from the shitverts.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 21 December, 2023, 10:39:33 am
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143003453#/?channel=RES_BUY (https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143003453#/?channel=RES_BUY)   


A backyard sex pond & potential for a dungeon,   could be a business opportunity.  Band A council tax as well.  No downstairs loo though.


Not really the best part of town.....   https://www.streetcheck.co.uk/crime/l75px#close
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 December, 2023, 10:58:02 am
Prime property for a YACF regional HQ.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 21 December, 2023, 11:25:47 am
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143003453#/?channel=RES_BUY (https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143003453#/?channel=RES_BUY)   


A backyard sex pond & potential for a dungeon,   could be a business opportunity.  Band A council tax as well.  No downstairs loo though.


Not really the best part of town.....   https://www.streetcheck.co.uk/crime/l75px#close

Not a leafy suburb, then?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 21 December, 2023, 11:35:46 am
It's got a lovely view over Botanic Park,  but that road runs between Edge Lane which is the busiest traffic routes into Liverpool,  and Wavertree Road, which is also fairly busy.  Go around behind the nice victorian houses and there is a fairly grim estate.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 December, 2023, 03:22:07 pm
In the process of gentrification, then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 21 December, 2023, 06:50:09 pm
https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143003453#/?channel=RES_BUY (https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/143003453#/?channel=RES_BUY)   


A backyard sex pond & potential for a dungeon,   could be a business opportunity.  Band A council tax as well.  No downstairs loo though.


Not really the best part of town.....   https://www.streetcheck.co.uk/crime/l75px#close

My thoughts about those clothes rails would be "what's wrong with the place that you can't use a wardrobe"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 21 December, 2023, 10:52:42 pm
The end of the terrace is interesting - what happened there? https://maps.app.goo.gl/UiXXKQPKPeB3u9Qf6

That's crazy cheap for the amount of house, though. :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 21 December, 2023, 11:33:47 pm
I'm not sure what used to be there.   The other end of the road is an old Territorial Army hall.     These would once have been family houses, now most of them in that row are HMO.  I think this one may have been something like that or an AirB&B.  The furnishings don't look like a family home & there seem to be 2 keysafes by the front door. 


Average house prices on Merseyside are fairly low, https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/house-prices-increase-merseyside-see-27961258.amp  but it's location as always.  A terrace in fashionable South Liverpool will the same as a semi in unfashionable Knowsley. 


A short walk from my current flat but I'd need to win the lottery...  https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/141184385#/?channel=RES_BUY


Unfashionable Huyton,  a few minutes walk from my parents   https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/141086684#/?channel=RES_BUY


Fashionable Penny Lane area   https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/139350086#/?channel=RES_BUY



Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 December, 2023, 02:21:05 pm
The furnishings look like they've put in by one of those "house dressing" outfits specifically to sell the place.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 30 December, 2023, 10:38:31 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/24016832.swindon-dads-christmas-dinner-saved-forgets-key-ingredient/

Man forgets carrots for his Xmas dinner.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 December, 2023, 10:42:24 am
BONNNGGG!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 30 December, 2023, 11:27:39 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-67835079.amp
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 December, 2023, 12:57:33 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-67835079.amp

I went to the effort of loading that on my phone, to see if it perhaps looked like FIRE if you were squinting at it on a tiny screen.  It didn't.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 30 December, 2023, 01:09:25 pm
It doesn't really look like one when viewed on a big screen either.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 December, 2023, 01:10:32 pm
No; on a big screen it looks like orange netting flapping in the wind.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 30 December, 2023, 03:41:34 pm
No smoke with that fire.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 December, 2023, 03:47:40 pm
Also, it's the Blackpool tower, which is AFAIK composed of steel and lightbulbs.  Not a lot to combust.  And - crucially - if it could, one of the locals would have torched it decades ago.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 30 December, 2023, 04:23:11 pm
It does remind me of the response of a firefighter of my acquaintance to the question how many false alarms do you get called out to. None was his reply, although we’ve come back from quite a few.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 30 December, 2023, 04:52:41 pm
Poignant.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 30 December, 2023, 11:02:19 pm
Yep, no complaints about the fire service response.  If it *had* been a fire, it would be serious business.

While it's easy to watch the video and go "doesn't look much like a fire to me", and doubt the thought of fire would even occur to me if I saw it in real life, I certainly wouldn't stake other people's lives on it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 01 January, 2024, 12:32:11 pm
https://www.itv.com/news/meridian/2023-12-29/customer-parks-tank-outside-wickes-after-shoddy-kitchen-fitting

Someone will be along in a minute to point out that it's not a tank...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 01 January, 2024, 12:35:00 pm
(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/52583579214_d93694a937_o.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2o7CA7J)
Hooray tanky tanky! (https://flic.kr/p/2o7CA7J) by Mr Larrington (https://www.flickr.com/photos/mr_larrington/), on Flickr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 01 January, 2024, 01:25:51 pm
Nope, it ain't a tank, and it isn't even "huge" - 'tis an Abbot self-propelled gun (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abbot_(artillery)), which was rather petite compared with most other SPGs.

And if memory serves, didn't Valiant (occasionally OTP), have one of these, or at least, knew somebody who owned one?

<does battle with the forum's feersum surch enjin>

Stand easy, my memory was playing tricks - Valiant and the Space Hijackers had a Saracen APC painted to look like a police vehicle, which resulted in a bit of a sense of humour failure on the part of TPTB.

edited
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Auntie Helen on 01 January, 2024, 01:28:13 pm
https://www.itv.com/news/meridian/2023-12-29/customer-parks-tank-outside-wickes-after-shoddy-kitchen-fitting

Someone will be along in a minute to point out that it's not a tank...
what I don’t understand in this report is the man says he spent £25,000 on the kitchen, but because of the problems he might lose his house. That’s weird maths.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jurek on 01 January, 2024, 01:28:37 pm
Nope, it ain't a tank, and it isn't even "huge" - 'tis an Abbot self-propelled gun (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abbot_(artillery)), which was rather petite compared with most other SPGs.

And if memory serves, didn't Valiant (occasionally OTP), have one of these, or at least, knew somebody who owned one?
I'm pretty sure Valiant's vehicle was an APC rather than something sporting heavy ordnance.
ETA - it had wheels not tracks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 01 January, 2024, 01:35:07 pm
Nope, it ain't a tank, and it isn't even "huge" - 'tis an Abbot self-propelled gun (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abbot_(artillery)), which was rather petite compared with most other SPGs.

And if memory serves, didn't Valiant (occasionally OTP), have one of these, or at least, knew somebody who owned one?
I'm pretty sure Valiant's vehicle was an APC rather than something sporting heavy ordnance.

Per my edit/addition to my post above, that is correct. I think I got mixed up WRT the pink Abbot that rocked up at Pride some time in the mid-2000s.

ETA - For reference, here's the "for sale" thread: https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=33744.0
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 01 January, 2024, 02:16:36 pm
https://www.itv.com/news/meridian/2023-12-29/customer-parks-tank-outside-wickes-after-shoddy-kitchen-fitting

Someone will be along in a minute to point out that it's not a tank...
what I don’t understand in this report is the man says he spent £25,000 on the kitchen, but because of the problems he might lose his house. That’s weird maths.

I read it that he borrowed the money for the kitchen, but cant get a remortgage because the kitchen is shit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: barakta on 01 January, 2024, 02:19:28 pm
I agree with Jaded.

The Guardian's money pages have had several unhappy Wickes kitchen customers with months and months of issues and Wickes insisting on the original outsourced fitter being given umpty chances to fix even after dangerous gas safety and other issues.

I applaud this guy's protest, I suspect it'll work quicker than any legal means. I liked that the owner of it, lends it to people wanting to make a visible protest about shit things.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: slope on 02 January, 2024, 09:18:54 am
Click👇 for larger image

(https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/53436291457_73765ad108_h.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/2ppYXKX)

Screenshot 2024-01-02 at 09.12.28
(https://flic.kr/p/2ppYXKX) by slopeslopeslope (https://www.flickr.com/photos/131101502@N05/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on 02 January, 2024, 09:44:04 am
Slope, you have to move house immediately.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 17 January, 2024, 10:15:29 am
https://www.westerntelegraph.co.uk/news/24051935.fire-rips-duke-edinburgh-pub-a487-newgale/

That's a shame. Jan and I stayed there a few years ago - 2018 I think. At that time the accommodation was all on the first floor but a totally different business from the pub.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 21 January, 2024, 05:16:28 pm
Welcome to Swindon town centre.  There are handy bleed kits dotted around for when you get stabbed.

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/24063728.swindon-town-centre-retailer-laments-high-knife-crime-levels/

I, along with many others, never go there now. There aren't many shops left and it's overrun with drunks, junkies and gangs.  The police station moved from the centre to the eastern edge of town years ago, so you're on your own.

The real irony? The namesake of the charity that provides the boxes was carrying a fricking machete when he was killed.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 27 January, 2024, 08:57:26 pm
Chester Market evacuated after chilli fumes affect customers
Vapour created by a stall-holder ‘cooking a large amount of chillies’ entered ventilation system (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/27/chester-market-evacuated-after-chilli-fumes-affect-customers)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 28 January, 2024, 09:52:11 am
Chester Market evacuated after chilli fumes affect customers
Vapour created by a stall-holder ‘cooking a large amount of chillies’ entered ventilation system (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/jan/27/chester-market-evacuated-after-chilli-fumes-affect-customers)

Slap it up 'em. 

Years ago in the Stuttgarter Markthalle we encountered a wave of pissed-off Schwaben being enthusiastically scandalised over an eloquent and vaguely familiar pong.  Probing doughtily to the epicentre we found an Asiatic stall where they'd had the temerity to open a ripe durian and dice a chunk up for samples.  We immediately bought the remaining half, and I still regret not buying a whole one.  Wonderful stuff.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on 28 January, 2024, 04:46:10 pm
"Polly wanna f___ing cracker, you ____!"

Quote
Staff at a wildlife park are taking a high-risk approach to tackling its parrots' swearing problem.

Lincolnshire Wildlife Park made global headlines in 2020 after staff removed five African greys from display (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-54340425) for swearing at visitors.

Since then, three more parrots have started to squawk expletives, prompting an urgent change in tactics.

Chief executive Steve Nichols said he was about to introduce them to the rest of the flock to "dilute" the swearing.
...

However, he admitted: "We could end up with 100 swearing parrots on our hands. Only time will tell."

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-67990806
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: slope on 28 January, 2024, 05:54:14 pm
Two blokes disappointed as sex shop licence is refused in Barmouth

https://www.cambrian-news.co.uk/news/disappointment-as-sex-shop-licence-is-refused-515548
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 January, 2024, 07:57:05 pm
Two blokes disappointed as sex shop licence is refused in Barmouth

https://www.cambrian-news.co.uk/news/disappointment-as-sex-shop-licence-is-refused-515548
Quote
"The council is gagging the residents of Barmouth.”

And, presumably, making them wear gimp suits.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Poacher on 08 February, 2024, 12:30:03 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-68239105
Man jailed for stealing dummies from babies in Harlow
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on 08 February, 2024, 01:55:56 pm
That sucks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 14 February, 2024, 01:03:51 pm
My local cycle lane. :-\

https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/what-it-feels-like-to-cycle-along-the-worst-cycle-lane-in-the-world
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on 14 February, 2024, 02:39:45 pm
I'm surprised this local-to-me effort wasn't in the list:

https://maps.app.goo.gl/u4Fj1uL3wvX1GYdm6
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 February, 2024, 02:57:26 pm
I'm surprised this local-to-me effort wasn't in the list:

https://maps.app.goo.gl/u4Fj1uL3wvX1GYdm6
That's for when you just want a nice rest.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: JonBuoy on 14 February, 2024, 03:52:20 pm
I'm surprised this local-to-me effort wasn't in the list:

https://maps.app.goo.gl/u4Fj1uL3wvX1GYdm6
That's for when you just want a nice rest.

Isn't that for turning right off the dual carriageway?  Seems OK to me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 February, 2024, 04:28:23 pm
I'm surprised this local-to-me effort wasn't in the list:

https://maps.app.goo.gl/u4Fj1uL3wvX1GYdm6
That's for when you just want a nice rest.

Isn't that for turning right off the dual carriageway?  Seems OK to me.
Seems a perfectly sensible setup for crossing the dual carriageway. Surprisingly so.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 February, 2024, 04:37:15 pm
If you spin around, it looks like the only place to turn right from is this: https://maps.app.goo.gl/juoTTYbWaZk3GhFw9
or the dual carriageway A92 itself.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 14 February, 2024, 04:45:00 pm
If you spin around, it looks like the only place to turn right from is this: https://maps.app.goo.gl/juoTTYbWaZk3GhFw9
or the dual carriageway A92 itself.
Erm, no, the original bit lets you cross to a cycle path that goes between the barrier, then there is another bit to cross to a cycle path on the other side. Plus a road leading to some houses.
https://www.google.com/maps/@57.0187164,-2.1682861,3a,75y,72.57h,77.36t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sFbi_k85zWojjACA_0eP_Rg!2e0!7i16384!8i8192?authuser=0&entry=ttu (https://www.google.com/maps/@57.0187164,-2.1682861,3a,75y,72.57h,77.36t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sFbi_k85zWojjACA_0eP_Rg!2e0!7i16384!8i8192?authuser=0&entry=ttu)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on 14 February, 2024, 05:12:03 pm
How busy is that dual carriageway?

This (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.5897865,0.536265,3a,30.5y,115.57h,87.83t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sftUrXXkgE1kyorE6qmRaSA!2e0!7i16384!8i8192?entry=ttu) is a crossing point between Wickford and North Benfleet, as is evidenced by the gap in the crash barrier and the encouraging sign.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 February, 2024, 05:17:27 pm
If you spin around, it looks like the only place to turn right from is this: https://maps.app.goo.gl/juoTTYbWaZk3GhFw9
or the dual carriageway A92 itself.
Erm, no, the original bit lets you cross to a cycle path that goes between the barrier, then there is another bit to cross to a cycle path on the other side. Plus a road leading to some houses.
https://www.google.com/maps/@57.0187164,-2.1682861,3a,75y,72.57h,77.36t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sFbi_k85zWojjACA_0eP_Rg!2e0!7i16384!8i8192?authuser=0&entry=ttu (https://www.google.com/maps/@57.0187164,-2.1682861,3a,75y,72.57h,77.36t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sFbi_k85zWojjACA_0eP_Rg!2e0!7i16384!8i8192?authuser=0&entry=ttu)
That's where the right-turn facility lets you go to. But how do you get to that facility? Along the A92. https://maps.app.goo.gl/bfLgjqjHpSMqh5AE7
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 February, 2024, 05:21:34 pm
How busy is that dual carriageway?

This (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.5897865,0.536265,3a,30.5y,115.57h,87.83t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1sftUrXXkgE1kyorE6qmRaSA!2e0!7i16384!8i8192?entry=ttu) is a crossing point between Wickford and North Benfleet, as is evidenced by the gap in the crash barrier and the encouraging sign.
But of course they've provided a replacement crossing. Oh, no, they haven't.

There are loads of similar "gap in the barrier" crossings, off the top of my head I've used one near Raglan and another on the A40(?) in Oxfordshire, but neither were anywhere near as busy as that Southend road.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 14 February, 2024, 08:07:52 pm
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/24120077.tesco-swindon-entrance-smells-sewage-valentines-day/

You'd think the enormous number of £30 rose bouquets would have masked it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 17 February, 2024, 06:51:18 am
Need a job?  No qualifications? No skills? No problem!

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/24104411.meet-women-healing-wiltshire-homes-business-bad-energy/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: sam on 17 February, 2024, 12:01:29 pm
Need a job?  No qualifications? No skills? No problem!

https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/24104411.meet-women-healing-wiltshire-homes-business-bad-energy/

Quote
Other signs [that you might have an 'unhealthy' home which requires healing] include feeling unwell,[1] having regular arguments in the house,[2] unusual behavior from pets,[3] objects being moved or going missing,[4] plants failing to thrive,[5] and having cold spots that never warm up.[6]

1. Looks like we need to switch consultants.
2. Irregular, but like any couple, we do argue when she's wrong
3. Happens to be a rabbit's modus operandi
4. It's like she's got a webcam in our house
5. No more houseplants thanks to #3
6. My wife is quite adept at finding them
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 19 February, 2024, 07:35:19 pm
https://www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/mans-room-destroyed-after-five-9108416
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 23 February, 2024, 11:49:29 am
Interesting choice of decor.......   https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/144202739


"If what's important to you in a home is a compact kitchen, space for bunk beds and an aesthetic which bellows 'THIS USED TO BE A BROTHEL AND HERE'S THE ROOM WE USED FOR POLE DANCING' this is the flat for you."


https://x.com/jayrayner1/status/1760980195975282738?s=20
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 February, 2024, 12:23:23 pm
Surely the photo all good Yacfers should find most disturbing is this one:
(https://media.rightmove.co.uk/97k/96668/144202739/96668_187334823102023_IMG_20_0000.jpeg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 23 February, 2024, 01:30:21 pm
DAMN YOU, HERMANN GOERING

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-england-devon-68354617

I wish I still lived down there - there'll be an ace view from the top of the Hoe when they blow it up.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 27 February, 2024, 08:11:15 am
Illuminati conspiracy goes Wonky
https://news.sky.com/story/police-called-to-willy-wonka-inspired-experience-in-glasgow-as-families-demand-refunds-13081554

Compare and contrast their website...
https://willyschocolateexperience.com/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 27 February, 2024, 08:34:49 am
A company incorporated in November. With one Director who is also a Director of two other companies, also incorporated last Autumn.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: barakta on 27 February, 2024, 04:48:15 pm
I doubt anyone is going to get their money back.

Problem is, it's very hard to avoid this kind of grifting.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 February, 2024, 05:02:30 pm
Normally happens at Christmas, when an amazing North Pole experience with Santa's grotto turns out to be a muddy marquee with a few fairy lights, one depressed reindeer, and a Santa that smells of vodka and gives you a "My Lidl Pony" or "Fuzz Lightyear" worth 99p.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 27 February, 2024, 05:24:13 pm
Normally happens at Christmas, when an amazing North Pole experience with Santa's grotto turns out to be a muddy marquee with a few fairy lights, one depressed reindeer, and a Santa that smells of vodka and gives you a "My Lidl Pony" or "Fuzz Lightyear" worth 99p.

My first thought was indeed various 'Winter Wonderlands'
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 February, 2024, 01:29:59 am
Normally happens at Christmas, when an amazing North Pole experience with Santa's grotto turns out to be a muddy marquee with a few fairy lights, one depressed reindeer, and a Santa that smells of vodka and gives you a "My Lidl Pony" or "Fuzz Lightyear" worth 99p.

Somewhere, in the murky depths of the Dover District Council website, behind a locked door with a sign saying "beware of the leopard", is a planning consultation pertaining to the hair-brained scheme to enhance Betteshanger Country Park's[1] shareholder value with the addition of a posh hotel and sharknado pool[2].  Naturally, this attracts all sorts of comments from the usual suspects, chiefly hippies with concerns about turtle doves, locals afraid that traffic will give their house prices cancer, investors who think it's a valuable addition to the sporting repertoire of the south-east of England, and random gammons spouting off about anything tangentially relevant.  I don't recommend you read it, it's endless and mostly dull.

But there is a splendid rant in there about someone being sworn at by a man in a Santa hat while trying to use one of the footpaths...


[1] Venue for the 2024 Wacky Races, International Edition (https://wc2024.bhpc.org.uk/) - hence my interest in whether someone was going to dig up the track in August.
[2] https://www.betteshanger-park.co.uk/the-seahive/

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: sam on 28 February, 2024, 06:10:26 am
[Press conference mode]

(https://iili.io/JGyIn4a.jpg)

house prices cancer

Walker from the Mercury. Are you saying there's actual house price cancer? Can you elaborate for our readers?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 28 February, 2024, 07:14:33 am
Normally happens at Christmas, when an amazing North Pole experience with Santa's grotto turns out to be a muddy marquee with a few fairy lights, one depressed reindeer, and a Santa that smells of vodka and gives you a "My Lidl Pony" or "Fuzz Lightyear" worth 99p.

Somewhere, in the murky depths of the Dover District Council website, behind a locked door with a sign saying "beware of the leopard", is a planning consultation pertaining to the hair-brained scheme to enhance Betteshanger Country Park's[1] shareholder value with the addition of a posh hotel and sharknado pool[2].  Naturally, this attracts all sorts of comments from the usual suspects, chiefly hippies with concerns about turtle doves, locals afraid that traffic will give their house prices cancer, investors who think it's a valuable addition to the sporting repertoire of the south-east of England, and random gammons spouting off about anything tangentially relevant.  I don't recommend you read it, it's endless and mostly dull.

But there is a splendid rant in there about someone being sworn at by a man in a Santa hat while trying to use one of the footpaths...


[1] Venue for the 2024 Wacky Races, International Edition (https://wc2024.bhpc.org.uk/) - hence my interest in whether someone was going to dig up the track in August.
[2] https://www.betteshanger-park.co.uk/the-seahive/


A Smurf Lagoon sounds interesting.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 28 February, 2024, 10:36:37 am
I have to say that the ‘Seahive’ sounds like delivery bloat to get the hotel and spa plans through. The more expensive and less profitable ‘community slanted’ seahive will quietly die once the foundations for the hotel are safely in place.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 28 February, 2024, 11:04:20 am
I have to say that the ‘Seahive’ sounds like delivery bloat to get the hotel and spa plans through. The more expensive and less profitable ‘community slanted’ seahive will quietly die once the foundations for the hotel are safely in place.
I lived very near there for 14 years. It is a depressed area that used to be Kent's coalmining region. There is no way it is the sort of area for a 'luxury hotel'

Meanwhile, Eleanor Morton's take on Wonkyland

https://twitter.com/EleanorMorton/status/1762776707373695479
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 February, 2024, 11:37:34 am
I have to say that the ‘Seahive’ sounds like delivery bloat to get the hotel and spa plans through. The more expensive and less profitable ‘community slanted’ seahive will quietly die once the foundations for the hotel are safely in place.
I lived very near there for 14 years. It is a depressed area that used to be Kent's coalmining region. There is no way it is the sort of area for a 'luxury hotel'

Unless you happen to own a nearby golf course...

The whole thing, like everything else in the BRITISH economy, is a property scam.  But the planning process is being sufficiently slow that there's no danger of spades in the ground by August, so as far as we're concerned it just means they're surprisingly keen to accommodate us to fulfil their 'grassroots sport' tickybox.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on 28 February, 2024, 12:23:42 pm
It was quite depressing going to the developer's exhibition about a proposed 750 house estate going up on edge of our village. People were seemingly more interested in choosing which of the three proposed football field/sports pavilion layouts they wanted than worrying about the impact of a big estate with a Sainsbury's going up onto the B road next to us that's a nightmare for traffic in the morning, on a flood plain, with no improvement for services like the Doctor, School etc. factored in.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 28 February, 2024, 02:04:25 pm
It was quite depressing going to the developer's exhibition about a proposed 750 house estate going up on edge of our village. People were seemingly more interested in choosing which of the three proposed football field/sports pavilion layouts they wanted than worrying about the impact of a big estate with a Sainsbury's going up onto the B road next to us that's a nightmare for traffic in the morning, on a flood plain, with no improvement for services like the Doctor, School etc. factored in.


Welcome to the life of a Chair of a planning committee...

I can't believe how the public tends to focus on side issues rather than the fundamentals when it comes to planning matters.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 February, 2024, 02:15:19 pm
I can't believe how the public tends to focus on side issues rather than the fundamentals when it comes to planning matters.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_triviality applies.


ETA: Is it sad that I recognised the bicycle shed in the photo?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on 28 February, 2024, 04:21:32 pm
I can't believe how the public tends to focus on side issues rather than the fundamentals when it comes to planning matters.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_triviality applies.


ETA: Is it sad that I recognised the bicycle shed in the photo?



You've snogged behind it?  Or was it a crafty fag?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 February, 2024, 04:27:50 pm
Slept in it on a 400?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 February, 2024, 04:44:06 pm
Are developers (in general, not just MattH's example) making use of this effect? Like a supermarket having a dozen varieties of baked beans to create an illusion of choice (and control), so developers might be offering choice of sports pavilions, bike sheds, and so on, in order to distract the public from criticising the main development. Or maybe they are themselves caught up in the trivialities?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 28 February, 2024, 05:09:00 pm
I have to say that the ‘Seahive’ sounds like delivery bloat to get the hotel and spa plans through. The more expensive and less profitable ‘community slanted’ seahive will quietly die once the foundations for the hotel are safely in place.
I lived very near there for 14 years. It is a depressed area that used to be Kent's coalmining region. There is no way it is the sort of area for a 'luxury hotel'

Unless you happen to own a nearby golf course...

The whole thing, like everything else in the BRITISH economy, is a property scam.  But the planning process is being sufficiently slow that there's no danger of spades in the ground by August, so as far as we're concerned it just means they're surprisingly keen to accommodate us to fulfil their 'grassroots sport' tickybox.

Betteshanger...

I lived in Aylesham, whose railway station remains an entertaining place, offering regular glimpses of people returning to London and further afield, shortly after discovering that Aylesham is not Aylsham. Yes, really.

Aylesham is the largest of the pit villages around Snowdown colliery. Betteshanger is a smaller village by far, and the Park in question is simply the site of the old 'pit heap' of colliery waste. The villages are in Dover District, but are neglected by the Council. When the 'White Cliffs Experience' ( :facepalm:) opened, it was the only cinema in Dover. Dover district residents got free entry to the 'attraction, all except those from Aylesham.

Aylesham sits at the boundary of Dover and Canterbury districts. Those in Canterbury postcodes were granted free entry to the Cathedral, except for---you guessed it.

When snow hits the area, which is a relatively frequent event, the road past Aylesham to Wingham is cleared. The little village of Adisham nearby is cleared.

Yup; you have guessed it again.

There was a public sonsultation I attended about the development of the village, in which the presenter referred to Fatfield, a declining village on the edge of Washington, Tyne and Wear, as an example of how a place could lose its life. She was most unhappy when I spoke up and explained that I had lived very close to Fatfield, that it had been killed by planners as a deliberate act to create a riverside park, and that I had spoken up against the road closures that destroyed the place and were later ruled to be a mistake but 'too expensive to fix now'

I spoke up about the planned massive expansion of the village as a dorm for Canterbury, as there was only a plan to build more houses and no additional community amenities. The council then closed Aylesham's school, throwing all the equipment and furniture into skips, so that they could build more industrial units on the land.

Oops. The land had originally been bequeathed to the council with a caveat that the land could only ever be used for educational purposes. The extra housing has now been built, but nothing in the way of extra infrastructure. If you look at the NW side on Google maos, you will see the primary school in a swathe of open land. That's why it is so unbuilt.

So, in short, ANYTHING
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 28 February, 2024, 05:26:32 pm
I've seen developers use a tactic where they promise the earth to get outline planning, then gradually reduce everything. Council threatens to not grant next stage of planning, developer says "We'll sue for our costs and loss of future profits". Council caves, because they can't afford legal expenses, let alone potential payouts.

Much of it seems to come down to very naive contracts being drawn up. Too much wriggle room, too many caveats. Developers employ good lawyers to draw up contracts, councils employ  . . . well, often they ignore advice of internal 'experts'.

It is worth remembering that planning committees are composed of people with no knowledge or expertise in development, civil engineering or, frequently, the law.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 28 February, 2024, 05:32:08 pm
Steph neatly sums up the incongruity of Betteshanger Park (which isn't really in Betteshanger at all, it just sounds better than 'Fowlmead').  Someone accidentally built the UK's best cycle racing circuit on a spoil heap, and it goes chronically under-utilised because it's in a neglected corner of Kent and nobody in this country really cares about cycling anyway - least of all the series of developers who've been squabbling over it for the last few years (the most recent of which has poured money into a cafe and museum that are all very nice but seem unlikely to ever be a profitable endeavour).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 28 February, 2024, 05:36:01 pm
A tactic around here is to apply for permission for a traveller site in an area where no-one wants any development.  Cue uproar from locals.  Developer withdraws application and resubmits one for houses, which goes through with little protest as people would rather have anything that keeps the travellers out.  Ker-ching.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 28 February, 2024, 06:18:25 pm
Are developers (in general, not just MattH's example) making use of this effect? Like a supermarket having a dozen varieties of baked beans to create an illusion of choice (and control), so developers might be offering choice of sports pavilions, bike sheds, and so on, in order to distract the public from criticising the main development. Or maybe they are themselves caught up in the trivialities?

There's very little in the Planning process that the public can influence. They can make representations that might affect the Local Plan, but after that they can only object to applications on material planning considerations. Applications that follow Planning Guidance and agree with the Local Plan will most likely get through.

They can, of course, threaten not to vote for Cllrs, but as Mr C says, there's precious little money in Councils' coffers for anything, let alone fighting developers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 29 February, 2024, 08:34:04 am
Wonky customer feedback
https://twitter.com/SianThymes/status/1763000986627363271
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 29 February, 2024, 08:36:44 am
The photo of the lady with green hair from the Wonka experience has gone viral.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 29 February, 2024, 09:24:41 am
There are now loads of videos online. I actually can't believe how utterly shite it was!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: barakta on 29 February, 2024, 09:44:03 am
The poor Oompa Loompa woman has now been interviewed by media, she's a young jobbing actor and was offered £500 for 2 days work but no costumes, no stuff, trying to make the best of it. She and the other actors (rightly) suspect they won't be paid as well as being publicly humiliated. Apparently while the families were angry, most of them had the decency to realise the staff had been fucked over too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on 29 February, 2024, 10:24:36 am
It’s even been ridiculed on a late night American TV ‘quiz’, such is its infamy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 29 February, 2024, 11:43:49 am
seven inch whopper shocker (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/mum-finds-oven-chip-big-9131769)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 01 March, 2024, 09:04:07 am
The poor Oompa Loompa woman has now been interviewed by media, she's a young jobbing actor and was offered £500 for 2 days work but no costumes, no stuff, trying to make the best of it. She and the other actors (rightly) suspect they won't be paid as well as being publicly humiliated. Apparently while the families were angry, most of them had the decency to realise the staff had been fucked over too.

She came across as a really decent sort. I smell phoenix syndrome ahead
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 01 March, 2024, 01:44:37 pm
She's certainly famous; the photo of her has gone viral and inspired this awesome mashup on b3ta (safe for work):

https://b3ta.com/board/11404728
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: barakta on 01 March, 2024, 03:04:22 pm
If it gives this young woman's career a boost then 100% fair play, if only that would happen to everyone exploited by fuckery (at the expense of the fuckers).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 02 March, 2024, 10:59:37 am
https://stroudtimes.com/can-you-help-put-the-finishing-touches-to-the-town/

Caaake?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on 03 March, 2024, 08:13:16 am
https://stroudtimes.com/can-you-help-put-the-finishing-touches-to-the-town/

Caaake?
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: T42 on 03 March, 2024, 08:49:06 am
Paging Marie-Antoinette...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 03 March, 2024, 09:16:47 pm
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/cars-destoryed-waves-after-getting-28745731


I'm not sure which is worse. The stupidity of the car owners or the spilling of the headline.    I guess they replaced the sub-editor with Artificial Stupidity or something.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 05 March, 2024, 08:49:40 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/24161001.tesco-apologises-customer-brands-portaloos-disgusting/

Tesco smells of shit, puts in temporary facilities that smell of shit.  It's almost as if the customers' shit smells.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on 05 March, 2024, 08:52:29 am
She's never been at a a festival on the last day then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 March, 2024, 09:18:45 am
https://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/cars-destoryed-waves-after-getting-28745731


I'm not sure which is worse. The stupidity of the car owners or the spilling of the headline.    I guess they replaced the sub-editor with Artificial Stupidity or something.
But is it de-storyed or des-toryed?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 12 March, 2024, 11:27:25 am
https://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/24177089.shocked-swindon-vets-find-poorly-dog-eaten-133-coins/

Probably needs some puns.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on 14 March, 2024, 10:58:01 am
Beautiful Brutalism.  https://www.themodernhouse.com/sales-list/park-hill-iii/   That's a nice flat.  I just hope they can keep the lifts working....12th floor...!


https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2022/apr/07/park-hill-from-brutalist-glory-to-sink-estate-to-contentious-regeneration   


Social housing flogged off to the private sector.  That's what happened to the estate I live on.  The council sold it to Barratt for £1, initially resold to owner occupiers I think the majority of flats are now owned by BTL landlords. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on 19 March, 2024, 07:37:06 pm
Eee, it were better in t'olden days when there were a safety line around it to show where thee beest safe from falling TVs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 20 March, 2024, 12:11:58 pm
Not much point now that TVs don't make a decent BANG when you drop them.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wobbly John on 27 March, 2024, 09:39:37 pm
Cheshire woman mistakes bobble baby hedgehog (https://metro.co.uk/2024/03/27/cheshire-woman-mistakes-bobble-baby-hedgehog-20537009)...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on 27 March, 2024, 09:44:38 pm
Cheshire woman mistakes bobble baby hedgehog (https://metro.co.uk/2024/03/27/cheshire-woman-mistakes-bobble-baby-hedgehog-20537009)...

Clearly a baby tribble.