Well
Jacomus-rides-Gen as far as I am concerned patience is always the key when it comes to regaining confidence, once lost it can take a while to come back, gradually at first and then later perhaps in leaps and bounds. My girlfriend (Louisa) like yours was a relative newcomer when she completely lost her confidence after a couple of mishaps.
Positioning herself in the middle of the road to turn right off a busy main road into a side road she realised that the on coming traffic was speeding, changed her mind about executing the turn at the last moment, couldn't unclip from her SPD pedals and fell in front of the speeding car heading towards her, she lay there watching a skidding wheel heading straight for, then mercifully just past her head! Weeks later a car over took us then immediately turned into their driveway, meaning we both had to do an emergency stop, unfortunately as can be the case with new riders this had her face planting at quite a speed as like your girlfriend she instinctively grabbed the brakes, the result being concussion, plus dented helmet and understandably an even bigger dent in her confidence.
For sure both the situations were such that an experienced rider may be able to come out of such close calls unscathed, we all had to learn and often the hard way,
but in time most of us get over these learning curve mishaps, the trick is how is the best way to go about doing it. Something that has helped her that may be worth a try is that I have taken her out on quiet roads, as traffic free as I can find, reassured her that in time she will be as good as she needs to be and that as her experience grows as will her bike handling skills, along with the confidence and enjoyment that goes with it. As for the brakes again offer to take her somewhere quiet and let her get the feel of the them, let it be an exercise just in bike handling so that she can concentrate on each area that she would like to learn.
For example I have a garage on block with long quite access road, so with Louisa I would spend fifteen minutes, or as long as she wants, every now and then showing her how to get the feel of the brakes, starting from slow speeds and letting her increase how fast she went and how firmly she braked, it doesn't actually take that long in the correct environment, a public road perhaps not being one of them. I went through the same process when she wanted clipless pedals, which went well at the time
, note she asked for them, she did, she did, she did; let's face it I knew what can happen and didn't not want my ears ringing with " you made me have these....".
Mind you I can see that she is still very nervous so I repeat patience is the key; both hers and yours, don't expect an overnight cure, but give her time and she may surprise you, if she wants to cycle she will. Fortunately it seems her wanting to have a go a cycling came from her which is good, partners who tag along just because they don't want to be a cycling widow may have less enthusiasm in getting past these tentative first
steps pedal revolutions. Of course your supporting role in this confidence rebuilding can be a delicate juggling act as far as you are concerned, for at times your input may need to change from the 'softy softly patience' approach to take a somewhat firmer 'don't let this beat you' approach with perhaps a hint of Seargent Major in the delivery, everyone is different and you will need to judge these moments and the severity of the latter correctly for them to be effective, you know her of course so it is up to you to decide what is needed from you, can tricky though as want they want to hear and what they need to hear are not always the same thing.
I half expected mine to never want to sit on a bike again, but fortunately the cycling bug had taken just enough of a hold, we are now up to 70 miles and hoping to join in on one of the
Friday night to the coast rides this summer
; perhaps who knows we may even see you both there, you and I can cheer one another up after our girl friends rip our legs off
Paul_Smithwww.bikeplus.co.uk
