Flatlands 600 : Great Dunmow : 18 / 19 May 2019

[rob]

97 started, 73 on the 06:00, 10 at 06:30 and 14 at 07:00. One DNF [unwell, p+nct#r@$] - train back from Peterborough. Apparently wetter and windier in the Fens than here this morning ...

Wind was very light Nthly all day.  Drizzled quite a lot and I had a good hour of rain around Boston.   Setting off from Lincoln 6am for the last 200k.  Quite foggy here.

Quoting the right post this time.

Took ages to get going.  Bounced through Sleaford and then had a coffee stop at Spalding.  Used the Green Welly for the first time and then rode through to the finish.

Today felt quite easy with a very gentle push from the North all day.   Anyway PBP qualification now sorted.

[Slimline Saxon]

Sometimes things do not go your way, all packed and ready to go by Thursday, then the after effects of my back wheel being caught in a drain and me hitting a bus after Velo Birmingham came to prominence. The bus is alright , as is my bike, but the Big Saxon is heavily bruised from the shin to the foot and in pain.

Got to get the body and head right if the Essex SR is to remain the target for this year, still a few chances to get it done.

Well done to all my fellow Flatlanders who have qualified for PBP, I am settling for a week riding in Italy instead this year.   

[bairn again]

I was DNF number 1. My first pack in five years of audaxing and I am still trying to figure out exactly what happened.

Probably combination of factors, came in underprepared after night shifts earlier this week. Weather worse than forecasts I had seen, and recent head cold settling nicely onto my chest, so feeling generally a bit run down.

Got wet early with the rain and probably worked too hard too early, and so got sweaty, and perhaps my waterproof kept that moisture in? Despite wearing a merino baselayer, rapha wool jersey and waterproof top layer, I just felt crap. Perhaps more the illness than anything else, you don't always know how the body will respond when you push a little even through a relatively minor illness.

Got second p#$%&%$e of two (both rear) a few miles short of whittlesey control. Took my time fixing it as my head was gone and I had mentally given up, did at least find the 2mm shard of glass that was twice my undoing during a thorough inspection of the tyre. I then put every piece of clothing I had with me on and soft pedalled to Peterborough station.

Then got quite hot and sweaty cycling from bishops stortford to gt dunmow to collect my rucksack, as it was 15oC, barely a breath of wind and the sun was out!!!

PBP qualification now near impossible (I would have to enter Tom's A&S 400k, travel down again from Scotland and miss my Dad's 70th...no.). Not my year this year.

sorry to hear that Oli.

I looked for your time at the finish. 

You missed nice warm sunshine late Sunday morning/pm along with a tailwind, but you also dodged a pea souper from about 5am - 8am that made the bit i rode from Gainsborough to just shy of Sleaford a big grim. 

[wilkyboy]

As promised, some of my photos here:

https://www.tomsk.co.uk/the-flatlands-600/2019/photos/

[Tomsk]

^ Thanks Wilkyboy - many riders commented on how cheered they were to see you!

Commiserations to the DNFs - several still unaccounted for  , unless they were super-fast and I'll get a brevet in the post from them in due course ...

Thanks to all my helpers for making the arrivee easy and fun. The Angel and Harp were happy, with a fair bit of of food coming out fairly late for riders, though as expected many were still full of Green Welly nosh. After the Sunday Dinner punters had gone it was fairly quiet for them, apart from the lively but harmless troupe of young TOWIE hominids at the other end of the beer garden. I think Mrs Tomsk taught a few of them at primary school - once left alone to wait for the tail enders, I recognised a few names including the girl in her class who was on 'Love Island' a few years ago.

I'll let the dust settle for a few days, in case I get a postal finish or two, then deal with the data. One piece of left luggage unclaimed too.

[rob]

Managed to ride into work this morning quite slowly.   Off for breakfast number 2 now.

As I was packing my stuff back into the car I noticed a large number of riders coming into and out of the Dourdain Pavilion.   There was a big Islington CC banner.   Does anyone know if this was the weekend of their 200k or another sportive ?

[grams]

Yep, the Great Escape non-audax* was this Sunday. It shares 14 km of the route from Howlett End to Great Dunmow, probably passing through mid-afternoon. I did mention our little ride on the club forum so people could say hello.

* It’s not a sportive, it’s a “reliability ride”.

[bairn again]

Thanks Tomsk for another cracking event. 

Atfter something of a mix up i made a fast getaway in a taxi driven by a distant relative of the late Ayrton Senna.  On arrival at Bishops Stortford station i kissed the ground.  A train appeared immediately.

Physically all ok other than some inner thigh rubbage which im putting down to the fact i had an extra pair of tights on over my bib shorts rather than leg warmers.  Skin repair gel is doing its stuff admirably. 

Short ride this morning from Bishopsgate to KX was plenty.  Now speeding north on the 1100 to Edinburgh and ahem catching up on work stuff.  Im booked into my regular Monday spin class @ 1730 which i will use as recovery.

Ride highlights

Green Welly breakfast which fuelled the final 80km
diverting via Sleaford Maccy Ds when i was flagging a bit
the lovely warm mistral tailwind to the finish.

Ride lowlights

 jobsworth at Gainsborough Travelodge who told me that technically id given up my right to a room that had been booked and paid for (edit - as a result of arriving at 2am)
really looking forward to fish and chips and Kirton only to find that it came with the skin still on.  Actual boak.   

Thats a place at PBP confirmed, and my 15th SR. 

[Bikeabilityman]

As promised, some of my photos here:

https://www.tomsk.co.uk/the-flatlands-600/2019/photos/

Great pics, Nick, but where am I? I rode from Goole with Nick J, thinking I’d not seen him for a while. Then he told me about his disagreement with a car, every limb broken, and more. Great that it hasn’t put him off.

[Alex B]

jobsworth at Gainsborough Travelodge who told me that technically id given up my right to a room that had been booked and paid for (edit - as a result of arriving at 2am)

Not sure where the 2am time come from, but Travelodge operate a "relocation policy" - when you book you agree that they may offer offer you an alternative hotel if when you arrive your room has been double-booked. There's been some recent rumblings in the media about this, e.g. here in The Sun.

No such problems with Premier Inn AFAICS - and no problem with my arrival at Canwick, not least because nigeld had got there 20 minutes before me and alerted them to roll out the red carpet in readiness 

[grams]

jobsworth at Gainsborough Travelodge who told me that technically id given up my right to a room that had been booked and paid for (edit - as a result of arriving at 2am)

I had much the same conversation (at 1:30). The gist I got was that the computer system wants no shows to be purged from the system by 2 am for whatever reason. I told him there were likely people on the road behind me, and he said they'd all get rooms, he would just need to rebook them somehow.

So I *think* that - as an overnight hotel clerk - purging the no shows is the most exciting part of the shift, and he was just oversharing by telling us all about it rather than STFU and giving us our keys.

[lmm]

Turns out 600s are harder than 300s, who knew? Once I'd made the Gainsborough control with 7 minutes in hand (after a good 4 hour sleep in the Premier Inn) I felt home free, but in fact I was chasing the cutoffs all day. Cambridge was a high note (as was Goole by twilight on Saturday), but the final run through darkening lanes was a real slog, as I was demoralisingly forced to accept that I would miss the pizza cut off. (The real sting in the tail was still to come though, as Google tried to trick me into riding down woodland footpaths for Stansted, all the while worrying about whether station staff were going to take issue with the bike...)

Great route (though I definitely saw my life before my eyes on those cobbles), great weather, and some great moments - thanks again to Tomsk. Not sure if I was lanterne rouge in the end (at 39:20 or thereabouts) but it's the finishing that counts. I'll definitely be looking for a 400 (which may well be Kingdom of the East Saxons) to round out my SR though rather than another 600 as I'd once thought.

[alotronic]

Well done finishers! I remembered that I wrote this about the last one I did, and it might now be worth a read... Chapeau!

There is no easy six hundred
You’ll hear Tomsk say repeatedly
You blithely ignore the wisdom of those words
And sign up naive, somewhat enthusiastically

This naivety can last all day
As you tick of the funny spots
The Mountain Rescue Team, Peak Hill
And other witty bon-mots.

You’ll prowl the endless fields of brassicas
Grinning with the joys
Of a tailwind on the way out
That flatters men from boys.

Even a pile of swedes
The highest thing around
Becomes a pleasant artistic piece
A turner-winning mound.

For the roads may never ascend, and the roads they never go down
But the Flatlands roads double the distance betwixt every town

More in the spoiler...

(click to show/hide)

But then comes the fall of night
And that savage spectral ghoul
The golden M that haunts
The historic port-town of Goole.

At least the staff are smiling
But what choice do they have
When the wet lycra crew
Outnumber the normal chavs?

‘Tough half the ride is done
And you still feel quite super
Further challenges lie in wait
Beyond choking down a burger

You venture to the toilet
In order to dry out
To find the dyson already dominated
By some ancien lout

For the roads may never ascend, and the corners they are scarce
But the Flatlands can be endless and the route sheet deadly terse

And then the challenge to find
That elusive friend called sleep
In sodden breezy bus shelters
Festooned with souvenirs of sheep.

You ride along the Lincoln ridge
But all hotels are taken by others
Whom now we detest and loathe
Daylight sisters and brothers.

Finally you find a five foot bench
And settle down to rest
A fantasy of two hours sleep reduced
To a toss and turn at best

And then the morning crawl comes
The body lethargic and slack
And the mood among survivors
A grim and deathly black.

Finally! Spoons! At eight sharp
We fall upon the door
We are so effing hungry
We’d eat it off the floor.

For the roads may never ascend, and the downhills never there
But the Flatlands can be endless and motivation can be threadbare

But with the morning comes the wind
The troll with the slapped red face
Who slaps at you double hard
And halves the onward pace

And then more of that
And then some more again
The wind becomes a constant needle
That inflicts an endless pain

And now the landscape that you flew
Is now reversed and sour
And it seems to take a day
To complete a ten mile hour

The swede’s revenge is cruelly sweet
They all seem to have grown a face
They jeer and laugh and cackle
And spray you with their mace.

Hour after hour this all carries on
Each stop gets longer and longer
Time elongates, and snaps
And the end stays hither and yonder.

For the roads may never ascend, and the downhills never come
But the Flatlands can be endless and bite you in the bum

But then the last thirty miles
Have a nasty little trick
Of throwing in some steep short hills
Your arse laid bare to kick.

And the sudden appearance of scenery
Reminds you of the prior lack
This miracle of things to look at
After thirty hours of cak.

Suddenly it’s over
And none too soon for me
I loathe the Flatlands once again
Swearing forever to flee.

It takes just one day dear reader
To discard my resolute resolve
And sign up to the next one –
Another years revolve

For next year is the ride in france
That wee coast and return
So I cannot forgo this ride
Despite this poem to spurn.

For the roads may never ascend, and the downhills have been banned
The Flatlands can be endless, it’s easier than Bryan Chapman.

[Phil W]

jobsworth at Gainsborough Travelodge who told me that technically id given up my right to a room that had been booked and paid for (edit - as a result of arriving at 2am)

We had booked saver rate York Travelodge rooms for the Friday night of the Easter Arrow. This was before we found out Martin wasn't allowing Thu night starts.  So we went for a Friday 6am start.  We rang the Travelodge to let them know we might be arriving in the early hours. We checked in to the Travelodge a bit before 6am Saturday.  It wasn't a problem, we were clearly still in their computer system, and we got a few hours sleep out the rooms before breakfast at the Wetberspoons and the train back. The rooms have a 12pm checkout. They really should not be overbooking rooms especially when you have paid a non refundable amount.

[hellymedic]

I think it's wise to phone these hotels if you are likely to arrive late, especially if you'd arrive in 'normal sleeping hours'. It might even merit two calls to allow for staff shift changes.

Shame about the hold muzak and sometimes pricy premium phone numbers...

[bairn again]

jobsworth at Gainsborough Travelodge who told me that technically id given up my right to a room that had been booked and paid for (edit - as a result of arriving at 2am)

I had much the same conversation (at 1:30). The gist I got was that the computer system wants no shows to be purged from the system by 2 am for whatever reason. I told him there were likely people on the road behind me, and he said they'd all get rooms, he would just need to rebook them somehow.

So I *think* that - as an overnight hotel clerk - purging the no shows is the most exciting part of the shift, and he was just oversharing by telling us all about it rather than STFU and giving us our keys.

Aye he was OK in the end but we did have a Pythonesque exchange initially.

Him - “my system says youre not here”

Me - “well look at me cos self evidently i am here arent i?”

Him (reluctantly) - “suppose so”

   

[Phil W]

I feel a poem coming from Alotronic about a dead Travelodge booking

[Tomsk]

Lost Property:

One woolly hat, black, left at St Mary's Centre.

Pair of trainers, from the sleepover.

Cateye rear light, found in bits on the road and returned by a kind rider.

Any takers?

[Touring Sec]

I think it's wise to phone these hotels if you are likely to arrive late, especially if you'd arrive in 'normal sleeping hours'. It might even merit two calls to allow for staff shift changes.

Shame about the hold muzak and sometimes pricy premium phone numbers...

Always done that in the passed but Travelodge only list a central number now that charges at a massive rate. No issues at Sleaford @2:20am although Einstein on the desk had no idea what the difference between a double and twin room was, but did whistle up a single bed in double time. Shame I was looking forward to a bit of spooning it still beats a bus shelter.

[York_Badger]

Highlights:

1. Well matched two/threesome with Bob (Oxford) and Owen (Wongers Wheelers).  A highly competent team for sniffing out Co-ops and Weatherspoons.

2. Steak and Onion Pie from Kirton Lindsay chippy. A delight of the senses. Small portion of chips there fed about half a dozen.

3. Shortcut after dusk via short section of dirt road from Swinefleet to Crowle - goes past the spooky peat works.

And lowlights:

1. Torrential rain, and then more some, from Spalding to Boston.  Just when I thought it couldn't rain any harder it did.

2. Not being able to see Lincoln cathedral from top of Steep Hill because of scaffolding.  Surprisingly busy B road from Lincoln to Sleaford (and uncomfortable in mist).

3. Deferred breakfast in Sleaford as arrived in town too early so had to pedal on to Spalding.

So on the scheme of these things a pretty feeble list of negatives.

Thanks for all the organisation. Check in  table at the pub was a welcome sight too. Sorry I couldn't stay for pizza. As someone else observed the bike route ("route 16") west of Dunmow towards Stortford was a bit of a joke so I gave up on it after 3km.  Slept well Sunday night.


Stephen

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

[Bikeabilityman]

Highlights:

1. Well matched two/threesome with Bob (Oxford) and Owen (Wongers Wheelers).  A highly competent team for sniffing out Co-ops and Weatherspoons.

2. Steak and Onion Pie from Kirton Lindsay chippy. A delight of the senses. Small portion of chips there fed about half a dozen.


Stephen

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

Was it you who left the chips next to me on the seat outside the co-op? Many thanks. I ended up eating so many that I felt stuffed all the way to Goole McD and didn’t eat chips again until Gainsborough McD.

[York_Badger]

That's good - so nothing was wasted then!

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

[longflaps]

Highlights:

1. Well matched two/threesome with Bob (Oxford) and Owen (Wongers Wheelers).  A highly competent team for sniffing out Co-ops and Weatherspoons.

2. Steak and Onion Pie from Kirton Lindsay chippy. A delight of the senses. Small portion of chips there fed about half a dozen.

3. Shortcut after dusk via short section of dirt road from Swinefleet to Crowle - goes past the spooky peat works.

And lowlights:

1. Torrential rain, and then more some, from Spalding to Boston.  Just when I thought it couldn't rain any harder it did.

2. Not being able to see Lincoln cathedral from top of Steep Hill because of scaffolding.  Surprisingly busy B road from Lincoln to Sleaford (and uncomfortable in mist).

3. Deferred breakfast in Sleaford as arrived in town too early so had to pedal on to Spalding.

So on the scheme of these things a pretty feeble list of negatives.

Thanks for all the organisation. Check in  table at the pub was a welcome sight too. Sorry I couldn't stay for pizza. As someone else observed the bike route ("route 16") west of Dunmow towards Stortford was a bit of a joke so I gave up on it after 3km.  Slept well Sunday night.


Stephen

Sent from my SM-G950F using Tapatalk

Yes, good riding with you and Owen. To add to your highlights I must thank bairn again [and sorry to learn you DNF'd] for the inspired suggestion to book the Travelodge at Gainsborough. Having a proper warm, dry bed and hot shower to look forward to really helped spur me along for the first 377k of the ride. The Full English at Spalding Weatherspoon's (where we once again met the ubiquotous Ricky trio) was a welcome bonus which rendered me incapable of helping the same Ricky finish off his chicken and chips at the fab caf Green Welly. No pudding for him then, while I enjoyed a wonderful apple crumble and custard while watching a surprising number of cyclists go straight past.

While the dense mist was a downer, it helped perhaps to appreciate the sunshine and warmth that little bit more when it finally did manage to burn the grey fug away. Always a pleasure to pass through Cambridge and sorry to have missed wilkyboy of Autumnal fame on that stretch.

After some faffing around rather lumpy lanes the drones of aircraft had never sounded so sweet as we eventually clambered into Great Dunmow (by this time in tandem with the Ricky trio) and into the arrivee. Thanks to Tom and helpers for putting on a great show and enabling me to proudly possess my first cloth 600 badge and medal. O, and enabling me to proceeed to go at PBP. Also thanks to York-Badger and various others for the company - it's certainly easier in company than riding solo! Looking forward to more ride reports and catching up in France.

[Deano4]

First of all: many thanks to Tomsk and all the familiar faces of the help out army!

Control 1: Red Lodge
After a tea and some snacks I left Dunmow at 06:00hrs and made my way to Red Lodge some 61km away. There was some light drizzle when I left so I put my water proofs on but it soon stopped, so I had to stop and take them off again.

Nick kindly stamped my card at the cafe and I went inside and had some beans on toast.

Control 2: Whittlesey
The rolling hills of Essex would soon be a memory as I headed for Whittlesey and into the flat fens of Cambridgeshire. The wind was still behaving quite nicely and whenever I looked at my speedo it showed I was travelling at 15mph, a rare occurrence for me. Normally I also show the miles travelled but I find that I am always counting down how much further it is until the next control / finish, so this time I had just displayed the time and current speed. That way I could roughly work out how much time I had before the control closed and then how long I could stop for when I got there. This seemed to be a much better approach and kept the mind focused in the present.

Approaching the Wetherspoons in Whittlesey the rain started to pour. I wasn't sure if it was strong enough to put the water proofs back on yet and as I was nearly at the control I left them off and got a bit damp!

Control 4: Boston
After my vegetable wrap it was still raining, so the waterproofs came back on. It was raining on and off on the next stage and by the time I got to Boston it was mostly on! I think the wind had also joined in to create some real misery.

I had a real bad patch on this stage. I think it was just the weather which had turned and made a bit of tiredness but it made me question why I was doing these long distance bike rides? What is the actual point? Do I really want to do double this distance in France in a couple of months?

After fighting through the rain and traffic into Boston I controlled at the McDonalds. The strawberry milkshake normally lifts my mood but on this case it didn't. I think deep down though, I knew this was just a bad patch and I just had to push through it.

Control 5: Kirton in Lindsey
It wasn't until I was some way into the next stage to Kirton in Lindsey that I got over it and my mood improved. Probably because it had stopped raining? It also turning it out to be a nice evening and I started to enjoy it.

My speed was still up and my legs weren't complaining yet. Using the timer on my speedo also helped avoiding the dreaded energy lose that I have been experiencing lately between each food / cafe stop. Once every hour I would eat one of my cereal bars and then on every half hour I would eat a pear drop. This also gave me something to look forward too.

I controlled in Kirton at the CO-OP and explained what I as doing to the lady at the till. Not sure if she was impressed or thought I was mad or a bit of both? Either way though she wished me luck in finding a dry bit of field to sleep in later than night!

Control 6: Goole
The next stage to Goole wasn't very long! I managed to find one of my 'short cuts' which usually invovle some comedy off road and lifting of the bike over small gates and things. This time was no exception as I went down a path into a wind farm. I should have taken some more pictures as the wind mill - power generators were quite impressive up close, not to mention huge. Anyway, to get out I had to lift the bike over a small locked gate and then rejoin the road.

On the arrow earlier this year I really struggled to climb up the bridge which leads to the roundabout to the McDonalds, I had no trouble this time. So I was quite pleased about that.

Control 7: Gainsborough
Another short stage to Gainsborough next into the night and more than half way through, which is always an encouraging thought. Retracing the route out of Goole I saw some other riders still on their in, which is another a mental boost - even though it’s not a race of course.

After the sun went down it started to get cold. I had already put on my night kit (mainly my water proofs and an extra jumper) but it wasn't quite cold enough for the jumper so I had to take that off after 15 minutes or so.
 
I got to the petrol station and bought a hot chocolate and then moved on to the next control to Sleaford. Just as  I was leaving a drunk local appeared and was arguing with himself on his way into the station. It wouldn’t be an audax without at least one intoxicated person in the middle of the night. I got out of there as quickly as I could on my way to Seaford.

Control 8: Sleaford
I had trouble staying awake on this stage but realised I had plenty of time in hand. Foolishly though I had left my bivvy bag at home as I was planning just to ride straight through the night like I did last time. Still, I was falling asleep on the bike so would have to make do without it. I found a secluded spot in a field which looked dry and set a timer on my phone to wake me up in half an hour. I laid on my side and tucked my hands between my thighs to keep them warm and it felt like I was asleep instantly. The cold woke me up before my alarm with 11 minutes to spare. I did feel a bit better and set off to continue on to Sleaford.

However a little bit later on the sleepiness came back and so I found another field to sleep in until I got cold again. I repeated this process a few more times until eventually the sun rose and my body clock reset. In the last field I was treated to hearing some owls call to each other.

The sun may have been rising but it was still really cold and it there was a deep fog as well. With all the stops it was a really slow 56km but eventually I arrived at the Sleaford McDonalds ready to start the second day.

Control 9: Chatteris
The last two stages were the longest and I wasn't looking forward to them, but best to get it over with I guess!

It seamed to take a really long time for the sun to burn the fog off but eventually it did. That being said I still wasn't brave enough to take off my long sleeve jersey. Working the zip was a good compromise though.

To break up this stage (and because I had the rare luxury of plenty of time) I stopped in the Whittlesey Wetherspoons again for some porridge and then finished the last 13 miles to Chatteris.

Control 10: Great Dunmow
The final stage and the return of the hills some were welcome and made a change some were just too steep for my tired legs: looking at you Saffron Walden. I took the direct route from Cambridge back to Great Dunmow.

I walked into the control at The Angel and Harp and found Tom, Grant and his army of helpers stamping cards. I added mine to the list and then ordered myself a coke and pizza.

Thanks again to Tomsk and all the helpers for making it happen.

Same again next month on the Fenland Friends?

[Bikeabilityman]

Great report, Deano. The broccoli and Stilton soup (along with a pint and crisps) at Boston ‘spoons might have lifted your mood. Worked for me!