I've just remembered an incident at school when I was about 11. There was a big pillow fight in one of the dorms that got a bit out of hand (high jinks, horseplay, that kind of thing). A pillow exploded, a window got broken and one kid got concussion. Anyway, we all ended up in big trouble, and were told to report to the main rugby field next morning at 7.00am for 'jankers'.
I'd never heard of 'jankers' before but it didn't sound much fun. A kind of combination of 'juvenile detention', 'clanking' and 'fetters'. The conventional term at the school was fatigues, which was pretty self-explanatory. Through the freezing mist loped the foreboding figure of the headmaster, who was a giant. He got us all lined up, arms outstretched, and then made us do small arm circles. On and on it went, until arms began to droop. Then we had to lie down in the nice cold mud and do 20 press ups. Few managed this, and those who failed got sent on a run round the field. Back they staggered in time to join us for 20 sit ups. Then some horrific manoeuvres called burpees, which were agonizing. Up for star jumps. More press ups. Twice round the field again. Then we lay on our backs and had to hold our feet 2" off the ground, while he counted up to 30. Every time someone's feet went down, we all started again. Then we did small arm circles again - it's like having your arms unscrewed from your shoulders. It was a very sorry bunch who traipsed back up to the school for breakfast.
I was reading The Telegraph a couple of years ago, and saw my old headmaster's name in the obituaries. Turned out that before he'd gone into teaching he'd been a physical training instructor in the SBS. Suddenly it all made sense. I had to laugh, remembering his hapless undersized recruits floundering in the mud on a frozen rugby field all those years ago.
