The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[Mrs Pingu]

I've been thinking about replacing some of our Euro cylinder locks to get them keyed alike so I've been checking out the measurements. How come most of them poke out at least 5mm beyond the escutcheon? Lazy arse door fitting companies...

[robgul]

I've been thinking about replacing some of our Euro cylinder locks to get them keyed alike so I've been checking out the measurements. How come most of them poke out at least 5mm beyond the escutcheon? Lazy arse door fitting companies...

. . .  when we moved to this house I swapped the two Euro cylinder locks to the type that has a knob on the inside rather than locking with a key . . .  locking with a key on the inside was a real PITA. 

Security doesn't appear to be compromised as the front door letter box has a guard on it (should stop anyone reaching in and turning the knob) - back door is part glazed so a brick would do the necessary either way.

[Jurek]

I have an infestation of mice in my kitchen.
Poison has been deployed.
I await the results.

[Mr Larrington]

Will whoever arse-dialled my mobile this afternoon kindly fuck off?

[Jurek]

I have two shipments due from Amazon.
Both have been collected from the vendor by Royal Mail.
Both are overdue by one week from their anticipated delivery date.
Royal F*ckers.
ETA - Amazon have said 'Just wait another 3 days and then request a refund'
I don't want a refund.
I just want the goods I paid you for.
What is wrong with people these days?
ETFA - Sounding like old person. 

[Mrs Pingu]

I've been thinking about replacing some of our Euro cylinder locks to get them keyed alike so I've been checking out the measurements. How come most of them poke out at least 5mm beyond the escutcheon? Lazy arse door fitting companies...

. . .  when we moved to this house I swapped the two Euro cylinder locks to the type that has a knob on the inside rather than locking with a key . . .  locking with a key on the inside was a real PITA. 

Security doesn't appear to be compromised as the front door letter box has a guard on it (should stop anyone reaching in and turning the knob) - back door is part glazed so a brick would do the necessary either way.

I've been thinking about getting a thumb turn on the front door for a while. Probably shouldn't as although the letter box is miles away there are some small panes in the door but it's a pain having to get the key in the door when there's a delivery.
I'm keen to replace the lock that came with the new garage door given that half the keys are shit so I thought I'd kill 2 birds with one stone and reduce the number of keys needed as well....

[Beardy]

Thumb turns are fine if you don’t have glass in the door. Mind ewe, if you routinely leave the key in the lock it’s just as weak as a thumb turn if there’s glass present.

To answer Mrs P, the reason for the sticky out lock is because, the locksmith, joiner or builder usually only have a limited number of locks on their vans and so they use what they’ve got. An anti-snap lock (actually a sacrificial snapping point) reduces the risk from that, but is worth fitting in any case to mitigate against the thief riving the escutcheon off.

Of course, the favourite way for a thief to enter your home is to kick the door in, so the lock becomes of secondary importance.

[Mr Larrington]

I have an arrowhead shaped pendant thing, the mortal remains of a necklace bought at Navajo Bridge in 2014.  Today the leather thong wot it dangled from b0rked.  It fell on the kitchen floor.  And also b0rked, into four pieces.

Bah!

[Mr Larrington]

Not a single leaf of Yorkshire Tea to be had in Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles this afternoon    And on a day suitable for buying bulky things like big boxes of tea bags too i.e. using the car instead of the Perfectly Good Gentleman’s Mountain Bicycle chiz.

[Kim]

That's just a setup for the YACF How Much TEA Can You Carry On A Mountain Bicycle Challenge...

[Pingu]

Mrs P won't let me 'Fnarr' to one of her posts. Chiz.

[rogerzilla]

Computer is doing a 60GB download.  Bastard Windows goes into hibernate mode even if a download is in progress, so I left it for 2 hours and it downloaded 15 minutes' worth.  How much is Microshaft paying its programmers to get basic stuff that wrong?

[Tim Hall]

Mrs P won't let me 'Fnarr' to one of her posts. Chiz.

I think I worked out which one...

[Pingu]

Mrs P won't let me 'Fnarr' to one of her posts. Chiz.

I think I worked out which one...

You're not allowed to either.

[Mr Larrington]

Mrs P won't let me 'Fnarr' to one of her posts. Chiz.

I think I worked out which one...

Is it the one to do with dodgy boilers?

[robgul]

How can Briritsh Cycling manage to send me 3 membership cards since I renewed* in mid-August?   

No card received by late September so I chased them up - the 3 (identical) cards have appeared towards the end of October, November and now December?


*membership actually ran out in late July but they didn't send a renewal notice? . .  that seems a bit fundamental to retain membership.

[CAMRAMan]

Fellow NYD walkers. I know it's been raining, which is why the route I proposed was a mixture of towpaths, Sustrans route and bridleways - with the option to stick to roads if the latter proved too muddy. I really try to avoid road walking as much as possible, as it aggravates my PF. So, the route you proposed is 90% on-road and probably 100%, as the footpath is likely to be a quagmire.

No thanks.

[Jurek]

Just back from the cafe where I enjoyed poached eggs, beans and bubble.
What I didn't enjoy so much was stepping on a paving slab, one of those, you know, special paving slabs that pivots about an axis which runs diagonally from corner to corner.
Douglas Adams has formally identified these in The Meaning of Liff, but I cannot remember what it is called.
Either way, when you step on a corner which is perpendicular to the axis, the slab tips up and sends a bidet-like jet of water all the way up your leg (remember, I'm wearing shorts) which then proceeds to run down my leg and into my boot.
Beaucoup merde.
I Blame the assholes who damage the pavements by parking their cars on them..

[Mrs Pingu]

Sorry, I know you shouldn't laugh at other people's misfortune, but I did do a small chortle.

[Tim Hall]

Just back from the cafe where I enjoyed poached eggs, beans and bubble.
What I didn't enjoy so much was stepping on a paving slab, one of those, you know, special paving slabs that pivots about an axis which runs diagonally from corner to corner.
Douglas Adams has formally identified these in The Meaning of Liff, but I cannot remember what it is called.
Either way, when you step on a corner which is perpendicular to the axis, the slab tips up and sends a bidet-like jet of water all the way up your leg (remember, I'm wearing shorts) which then proceeds to run down my leg and into my boot.
Beaucoup merde.
I Blame the assholes who damage the pavements by parking their cars on them..

I didn't know you were a postie.

[Jurek]

Just back from the cafe where I enjoyed poached eggs, beans and bubble.
What I didn't enjoy so much was stepping on a paving slab, one of those, you know, special paving slabs that pivots about an axis which runs diagonally from corner to corner.
Douglas Adams has formally identified these in The Meaning of Liff, but I cannot remember what it is called.
Either way, when you step on a corner which is perpendicular to the axis, the slab tips up and sends a bidet-like jet of water all the way up your leg (remember, I'm wearing shorts) which then proceeds to run down my leg and into my boot.
Beaucoup merde.
I Blame the assholes who damage the pavements by parking their cars on them..

I didn't know you were a postie.

I think you may be behind @rafletcher to have made that assumption.
In any case, both of you are wrong.
Happy New Year to both of you. 

[rafletcher]

Ah, so you’re just eccentric 

HNY

[spesh]

Just back from the cafe where I enjoyed poached eggs, beans and bubble.
What I didn't enjoy so much was stepping on a paving slab, one of those, you know, special paving slabs that pivots about an axis which runs diagonally from corner to corner.
Douglas Adams has formally identified these in The Meaning of Liff, but I cannot remember what it is called.
Either way, when you step on a corner which is perpendicular to the axis, the slab tips up and sends a bidet-like jet of water all the way up your leg (remember, I'm wearing shorts) which then proceeds to run down my leg and into my boot.
Beaucoup merde.
I Blame the assholes who damage the pavements by parking their cars on them..

<click, tappity tappity... click>

Affpuddle (n.)
A puddle which is hidden under a pivoted paving stone. You only know it's there when you step on the paving stone and the puddle shoots up your leg.

http://tmoliff.blogspot.com/2012/04/affpuddle-n.html

[ian]

This summer walking Tooley St I stepped on the same, the paving slab pivoting to unleash a geyser of water the colour of gravy all the way up the front of my leg from shoe to groin. As I was wearing light coloured shoes and trousers the result looked like I’d had a bad toilet accident.

[The Family Cyclist]

I was having a lovely sleep, probably helped by getting plenty of exercise yesterday and no grog. About 4am I am awoken by a car alarm. Went to window and could see its neighbours so watched and nothing untoward apparent

Then noticed could see light under our bedroom door so went out and found the wife had been woken by alarm some 40 minutes earlier and was trying to contact our neighbour who must be away to not notice the alarm under their bedroom window. In my defence of not hearing the wife's a snorer so I sleep with earplugs

I headed back to bed and the wife joined me. Our dog then started whining so I ended up coming down and trying to get a bit more sleep on the sofa till the alarm went

I think with various illnesses in house, being away, kids not sleeping and the hound I've managed only a couple of full nights in an actual bed over Christmas period.