Author Topic: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists  (Read 369368 times)

Vince

  • Can't climb; won't climb
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1050 on: 27 May, 2016, 12:25:15 pm »
Do fucking helmets look a bit like the Sydney opera house?
216km from Marsh Gibbon

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1051 on: 27 May, 2016, 01:08:35 pm »
Strange thing happened just now. I've got a day off and just returned to my abode in the car.  I bumped into my next door neighbour, whom I've hardly met or spoken to.  He apologised to me for shouting at me the other day as he overtook in his white van.  Except I'm pretty sure it wasn't me.  The cyclist in questions pulled a foot out of his pedal and had a go at the driver for being on the phone, none of which I recall doing.

Bloodycyclists, they're all the same.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1052 on: 27 May, 2016, 01:43:50 pm »
Do fucking helmets look a bit like the Sydney opera house?

Do they have compulsory opera in Oz?
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1053 on: 28 May, 2016, 06:55:38 am »
Do fucking helmets look a bit like the Sydney opera house?

Do they have compulsory opera in Oz?

's called Neighbours, cobber

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1054 on: 29 May, 2016, 02:46:44 pm »
"Pull a wheelie!"

I shouted this when we overtook a BMX bandit riding along with banging choons beating out of his little speaker. It was towards the end of the Dales Grimpeur, and he nearly caught us up on the drag towards Jervaulx Abbey. I could hear the music getting closer...

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1055 on: 29 May, 2016, 04:00:49 pm »
Pedal faster I hear banjos

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1056 on: 29 May, 2016, 07:27:24 pm »
"G'wan love, get up there!"

As I cycled *down* (in as much as it has a gradient at all) the Pershore Road through Stirchley.

Riggers

  • Mine's a pipe, er… pint!
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1057 on: 06 June, 2016, 09:53:20 am »
"Not on it you C**t!" was very clearly enunciated, delivered at such a volume, that the lady driver's young daughter (in the rear seat) will have been forever burned into her brain.

Crossing the roundabout yesterday towards Steyning, to reach a back road (going up Bostal Hill) I spied this woman driver approaching the roundabout. I could see her looking down at her phone, and could have let it pass but, no, I thought, and held my hand up to my ear to symbolise being on the phone, at her.

She could have just acknowledged it, held her hand up, and all would have been fine. Instead, she verbalised the nuance of 'not actually being ON the phone, merely being DISTRACTED by it'.

I just had to laugh at the absurdity of it. What a foul and disgusting human being who won't take responsibility for their actions. There's a lot of them out there.
Certainly never seen cycling south of Sussex

fuzzy

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1058 on: 17 June, 2016, 02:08:30 pm »
As I rode up The Causeway, Marlow last night, heading home, a group of 'lads' walking in the opposite direction celebrating the Ingerland win. One of them leaps into the road waving his arms around and drunkenly exclaims "You got a flibble wibble sommat or other!"

I had by now come to a halt so said to his mates "Look after him, his fuckwit gland has gone hyperactive" and then rode off to laughter from his mates and a questioning, confused "Whadyoosay?Didhecallmeafuckwit" from the incoherent one.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1059 on: 17 June, 2016, 02:12:08 pm »
Great line. Was that rehearsed or spur of the moment ?
Rust never sleeps

fuzzy

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1060 on: 17 June, 2016, 04:08:50 pm »
A spur of the moment thing. I have absolutely no idea where it came from. He made like an idiot and there it was.

Next time something like that happens I will be struggling for a comeback :-\

caerau

  • SR x 3 - PBP fail but 1090 km - hey - not too bad
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1061 on: 17 June, 2016, 04:40:00 pm »
Meh, use it again, just don't tell us again and make out it was original ;)
It's a reverse Elvis thing.

ian

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1062 on: 17 June, 2016, 06:26:25 pm »
"Get out of the road" dopplered some woman from behind the wheel of her passing car. I was in the middle of the road. Hand out and waiting to turn right.

Croydonia. A special place for special people.

Vince

  • Can't climb; won't climb
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1063 on: 18 June, 2016, 08:03:42 pm »
'Faster, faster' shouted at me as I struggled up a steep hill in the Forest of Dean... approaching a give way!
216km from Marsh Gibbon

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1064 on: 19 June, 2016, 06:54:33 pm »
On the way out to Tesco's today, car passing in opposite direction.

"Nice tits!"

Somewhat bemused by that one, but, well, I'm happy with them...
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

essexian

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1065 on: 21 June, 2016, 02:25:27 pm »
On the back way from Haughton to Seighford this morning were a pair of blokes working on some overhanging trees...chainsaws, ear defenders, high viz, helmets: the lot.

So, as they were working in the middle of the lane, I stopped and called out to ask to be allowed to make progress. No reply. So, I asked again this time a little louder. Still no reply. Now almost shouting, I still didn't get a reply. I suppose the human voice is no match for a fully powered up chain saw!

Eventually one of the blokes sees me and waved me by.... making the comment as I went by that: "You should have rung your bell"

Like  :facepalm:

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1066 on: 21 June, 2016, 02:31:46 pm »
'mate, how do I get to corby??'  as I'm heading through central cambridge at 6 this morning.

must have been a good night out.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1067 on: 21 June, 2016, 10:09:28 pm »
did he have a pressing engagement?

Andrij

  • Андрій
  • Ερασιτεχνικός μισάνθρωπος
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1068 on: 22 June, 2016, 08:19:00 am »
 ::-)



Damn, wish I had thought of that.
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup:

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1069 on: 22 June, 2016, 10:28:33 am »
Crisp rejoinder.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

ian

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1070 on: 06 July, 2016, 10:12:40 pm »
"Oi, you look like Bruce Willis" from what appeared to be a recent graduate of Croydon's College for Feminine Refinement and Decorum. Sadly I think she took my 'Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker' in the wrong spirit. Possibly her parents hadn't even been conceived when they made Die Hard. Maybe her grandparents, come to think of it, it is Croydon.

Still, that's quite flattering. Most days I look like a Moby Action Toy, so I figured it's a step-up to be an all action hero. So I quite proudly related this to my wife earlier as she headed out to assault passers-by with her magic trumpet thing.

"Yes, that's because you're both old and bald," she cheerfully muttered.

I'm changing the locks before she gets back.

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1071 on: 26 July, 2016, 01:57:16 pm »
did he have a pressing engagement?
Creased me up ;D
Getting there...

Steph

  • Fast. Fast and bulbous. But fluffy.
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1072 on: 26 July, 2016, 03:20:23 pm »
did he have a pressing engagement?
Creased me up ;D

I've trousered that one for later use.
Mae angen arnaf i byw, a fe fydda'i

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1073 on: 27 July, 2016, 10:01:01 am »
Pleats do!
Getting there...

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1074 on: 27 July, 2016, 10:08:35 am »
I had a strange one last night as I left work.  There is a gang o'lads who use the long driveway at this former hospital for practicing wheelies and generally pratting about on bikes and having fun :o  *clutches pearls* WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN etc...

Any way, last night, they were just coming up the road as I left.  As they streamed past on their BMXs and MTBs, and I rode the other way on my folder, one lad called out 'Bikelife!' and smiled. 
Getting there...