Author Topic: Overheard today (Read 121135 times)

Ham · « **Reply #175 on:** 27 May, 2015, 05:25:41 pm »

Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on 27 May, 2015, 05:21:39 pm

I never quite got the reasoning behind spelling it Boche. Makes it looks French. I suppose it's Krauts begin at Calais.

Quote

1885-90; < French, aphetic variant of Alboche German, equivalent to al(lemand) German + (ca)boche blockhead, head of a nail
Usage note
This term was originally French slang, perhaps from the Franco-Prussian War. In English, it appears today only in historical contexts.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #176 on:** 27 May, 2015, 05:32:21 pm »

So a boche is a German who hasn't a clout!

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #177 on:** 27 May, 2015, 06:52:32 pm »

Ne'er cast a clout
Till May be out

Seems les Boches weren't paying much attention to this in 1940.

Kim · « **Reply #178 on:** 17 June, 2015, 05:54:28 pm »

"...so I just laid into her with maths."

Torslanda · « **Reply #179 on:** 18 June, 2015, 12:14:19 am »

Male partner "Look! There's one o' them balancing bikes. In the shop window..."
Female partner (who really, REALLY, can't be arsed) "Yer, well . . .It's OK but he'll need stabilisers"

What. The. Actual. Fuck. ?

canny colin · « **Reply #180 on:** 18 June, 2015, 11:50:11 pm »

Little old lady to Truck driver " It's about a mile and a half but not in a big lorry like that ".

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #181 on:** 19 June, 2015, 11:01:41 am »

Quote from: Torslanda on 18 June, 2015, 12:14:19 am

Male partner "Look! There's one o' them balancing bikes. In the shop window..."
Female partner (who really, REALLY, can't be arsed) "Yer, well . . .It's OK but he'll need stabilisers"

What. The. Actual. Fuck. ?

Zimplez. He wants to get a balance bike for their small sprocket. She reckons a bike with stabilisers is more appropriate. Perhaps. Might have been the wrong shop window, of course.

hellymedic · « **Reply #182 on:** 20 June, 2015, 01:14:02 am »

Quote from: canny colin on 18 June, 2015, 11:50:11 pm

Little old lady to Truck driver " It's about a mile and a half but not in a big lorry like that ".

Little old lady might know of lorry-banned roads...

canny colin · « **Reply #183 on:** 20 June, 2015, 11:52:29 am »

Afraid not hellymedic . It is straight up the main road A 695. I would have butted in but her instructions were spot on till the big lorry bit . No harm was done just made every one smile a bit more . I should have made it clearer sorry colin .

Jurek · « **Reply #184 on:** 20 June, 2015, 12:06:06 pm »

Last weekend, in the cafe I was paying with a £20 note for my £9.20 breakfast.
Girl 1 (with a look of unbridled panic on her face) to Girl 2 - Have you got a calculator? The till's not working, and I've go to give change for nine twenty from a twenty pound note.
Girl 2 - Ten pounds eighty
Girl 1 (with a look of awe on her face) You're goooood

hellymedic · « **Reply #185 on:** 20 June, 2015, 12:33:03 pm »

Quote from: canny colin on 20 June, 2015, 11:52:29 am

Afraid not hellymedic . It is straight up the main road A 695. I would have butted in but her instructions were spot on till the big lorry bit . No harm was done just made every one smile a bit more . I should have made it clearer sorry colin .

Thanks for clarification cc!
Spose the chaos in news about Big Trucks in Small Places had entered my brain...

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #186 on:** 20 June, 2015, 02:35:13 pm »

Quote from: Jurek on 20 June, 2015, 12:06:06 pm

Last weekend, in the cafe I was paying with a £20 note for my £9.20 breakfast.
Girl 1 (with a look of unbridled panic on her face) to Girl 2 - Have you got a calculator? The till's not working, and I've go to give change for nine twenty from a twenty pound note.
Girl 2 - Ten pounds eighty
Girl 1 (with a look of awe on her face) You're goooood

The other week, my shopping came to £10.55. I gave cashier a £20 note, a 50p coin and a 5p coin (cos I like to get rid of coins). He had to work out the change on a calculator.

jsabine · « **Reply #187 on:** 21 June, 2015, 11:44:11 pm »

Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on 20 June, 2015, 02:35:13 pm

Quote from: Jurek on 20 June, 2015, 12:06:06 pm
Last weekend, in the cafe I was paying with a £20 note for my £9.20 breakfast.
Girl 1 (with a look of unbridled panic on her face) to Girl 2 - Have you got a calculator? The till's not working, and I've go to give change for nine twenty from a twenty pound note.
Girl 2 - Ten pounds eighty
Girl 1 (with a look of awe on her face) You're goooood
The other week, my shopping came to £10.55. I gave cashier a £20 note, a 50p coin and a 5p coin (cos I like to get rid of coins). He had to work out the change on a calculator.

In that sort of situation, if there's any hint of a panicked look I'll quite often say something like "If I give you the 55, can you give me a tenner back?" Helps to point towards the solution ...

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #188 on:** 22 June, 2015, 09:01:00 am »

Thing was, I'd already said that (I often do, cos I like to get rid of change). He still got confused and needed to check.

tiermat · « **Reply #189 on:** 22 June, 2015, 10:45:49 am »

Quote from: jsabine on 21 June, 2015, 11:44:11 pm

Quote from: Cudzoziemiec on 20 June, 2015, 02:35:13 pm
Quote from: Jurek on 20 June, 2015, 12:06:06 pm
Last weekend, in the cafe I was paying with a £20 note for my £9.20 breakfast.
Girl 1 (with a look of unbridled panic on her face) to Girl 2 - Have you got a calculator? The till's not working, and I've go to give change for nine twenty from a twenty pound note.
Girl 2 - Ten pounds eighty
Girl 1 (with a look of awe on her face) You're goooood
The other week, my shopping came to £10.55. I gave cashier a £20 note, a 50p coin and a 5p coin (cos I like to get rid of coins). He had to work out the change on a calculator.

In that sort of situation, if there's any hint of a panicked look I'll quite often say something like "If I give you the 55, can you give me a tenner back?" Helps to point towards the solution ...

Or say "Hang on a mo, I have the 55p, if that helps, so I don't take all your change" cue light of realisation....

Canardly · « **Reply #190 on:** 22 June, 2015, 11:23:31 am »

' I know what lethargic means but what does lethargy mean?'

Wowbagger · « **Reply #191 on:** 23 June, 2015, 10:03:16 pm »

I always imagined it to be a lurgy that takes you lethe-wards.

barakta · « **Reply #192 on:** 24 June, 2015, 02:33:16 pm »

Sadly one way con people con shop assistants is verbal games about "if I give you X and you give me Y then I give you Z then...." and only later does poor befuddled conned shop assistant discover the till is down by £20 or £10 or something.

My older sister got someone doing this when she was 16 working in her first shop job, she had even asked the manager to come down from the upstairs via intercom to help her and they refused - then blamed her and docked the shortfall out of her low wages at the end of the day... She was really upset because no one had warned her about this sort of trick and when she'd asked for help it had been denied...

mark · « **Reply #193 on:** 24 June, 2015, 06:53:52 pm »

Like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60ePD3hg73g

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #194 on:** 25 June, 2015, 03:00:05 pm »

From HONY (google if you don't know what that is)

Quote

It's hard to talk to girls. I try not to look at them as girls, and just look at them as people, but it's hard. Because they look like girls.

Andrij · « **Reply #195 on:** 09 August, 2015, 07:16:37 pm »

On the patio at the Barmy Arms, Twickenham, early Friday afternoon:

Quote

These days I am listening to nothing but Chopin. And that other geezer.

Unfortunately I didn't catch what came immediately before/after.

I was going to submit it to Time Out, which also collects such things, but it appears submission is by via Twatter (#wordonthestreet). I do not 'tweet'.

Paul · « **Reply #196 on:** 09 August, 2015, 08:40:19 pm »

Quote from: Andrij on 09 August, 2015, 07:16:37 pm

I do not 'tweet'.

I'll have that as my 'overheard today', and I'll join any gang you care to start.

Ruthie · « **Reply #197 on:** 09 August, 2015, 10:05:53 pm »

"Daddy?"
"Yes son?"
"I've decided to give my blood to Satan."
"Oh!"

Long pause.

"I'm glad you decided to talk to me first. I think you need to think really carefully about that, it's a big decision. And when Satan's got your blood, it might be hard to get it back off him."

What an excellent dad! Little boy was about seven

L CC · « **Reply #198 on:** 31 August, 2015, 04:13:47 pm »

"Aunty Emma can hear everything you say, and I'm starting to get a bit embarrassed about some of the things you're saying"

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #199 on:** 08 September, 2015, 02:24:18 am »

Don the Receptionist and Nice Lady Guest are discussing children and how best to cook them (I think, I missed that bit). NLG relates how she threw her drunk/stoned 17 y/o daughter out of the house while said daughter was clad in naught but a bath towel.

"She shoulda expected whup-ass from someone who spent thirty years at a nursing station. [Pause] Whup-ass with fifty shades o' hillbilly!"