I'm watching the highlights, due to being terminally feeble-minded and forgetting all about the live coverage this afternoon. Am I imagining it, or have Liggett and Sherwen really been pensioned off?They're still going, but ITV got Ned and David to do the coverage instead of paying for the deadly duo's syndicated feed. I couldn't believe it either, but finally....... :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbs:up: (....)
Part of me will missBluntman & ChronicPhil & Paul, but only a little bit.
David "Jirasek Lighthouses" Millar has made a noble attempt to fill theAh, well, give the boy David a break. I think that (mis)information must have been given out by the local tourist folk, always so faithfully quoted by Sherwen. While struggling to stay awake during Eurosport's coverage, ISTR hearing that said cliffs were indeed the highest in mainland Europe.suitcaseshoes of Sherwen with his drivel about the cliffs of the Nez de Jobourg which, Dave, are not even the highest in France, never mind Europe.
I'm watching the highlights, due to being terminally feeble-minded and forgetting all about the live coverage this afternoon. Am I imagining it, or have Liggett and Sherwen really been pensioned off?They're still going, but ITV got Ned and David to do the coverage instead of paying for the deadly duo's syndicated feed. I couldn't believe it either, but finally....... :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbs:up: (....)
fill thesuitcaseshoes of Sherwen
I saw the last 10 minutes on ITV 4 yesterday evening. And that's all I've seen so far.
He gives a good, considered and respectful interview afterwards.
I thought his (second) interview with Matt was pretty disrespectful.
He gives a good, considered and respectful interview afterwards.
I thought his (second) interview with Matt was pretty disrespectful. He spent more time talking to his daughter than the interviewer. And even then he was mostly moaning. I still love him though :D
Talking of the kids thing - I can see this getting banned. I don't really have a problem with it myself (and don't want to appear a joyless cunt) but sooner or later, there's going to be a "No kids on podiums" rule. What next? Someone bringing their kids on to the podium at Rio to have a gold medal put round their neck?
I don't know who Matt is.
A multilingual walking encyclopedia of cycling, with added layers of geekiness. Pretty much the ideal person to think of a good question for the winner in the 2 minutes after a stage has finished.
And there, ladies and gentlemen, it's the advantage of a well-timed bike throw.
Cavendish has matured, as a rider and as a person. He gives a good, considered and respectful interview afterwards. :thumbsup:
What's the current form of (French) houswives favourite Thomas Voeckler ? Can we expect any of his mad breakaways this year ?
What's the current form of (French) houswives favourite Thomas Voeckler ? Can we expect any of his mad breakaways this year ?
What's the current form of (French) houswives favourite Thomas Voeckler ? Can we expect any of his mad breakaways this year ?
You weren't watching yesterday then? He was at his tongue lolling, gurning best.
Cavendish has matured, as a rider and as a person. He gives a good, considered and respectful interview afterwards. :thumbsup:
Well he hasn't grabbed a reporter's dictaphone for 3 years, but the test is when he's interviewed after he hasn't won, or when he's asked about causing a crash he thought he was blameless in, and/or when he's asked what he thinks is a fatuous question.
This is the first time I've actually watched the TdF. OK, I've seen stages in the flesh before, and I've caught a few highlights. But this is the first time I've been able to have it on in its entirety[1] in the background like the cricket. I'm loving it.
[1] Well, as much of its entirety as ITV4 shows. Good job I haven't got Eurosport or whatever - I'd never get anything done.
The German commentator pronounces him 'Tohma Vo-claire'So it's not only the Brits who are crap at reading foreign names!
Yeah that was a fast/close one.
The German commentator pronounces him 'Tohma Vo-claire'So it's not only the Brits who are crap at reading foreign names!
I wonder if these stages are proportionately the closest races in any sport?Quite possibly; I cant think of anything right now.
I make 10mm after 235km about 5 millionths of a percent of the total distance.
I wonder if these stages are proportionately the closest races in any sport?
I make 10mm after 235km about 5 millionths of a percent of the total distance.
I think the closest margin for the entire TdF was something like 8 seconds. That's a pretty tight margin after three weeks on the road.Was that Lemond?
The 1966 Le Mans 24hrs was decided by 8 metres after 4843.09 km by virtue of the two Ford GT40s crossing the line together but one started on the grid 8m in front of the other.
I'm not sure what that is as a percentage, it wouldn't have been a proper race by that point. It would have been arranged so they got a photo finish as they were team mates and so far ahead of any opposition.
Yeah it is all go today.
I like the way the photo of the spokes on the finish line :)
How do you give money to dogs?
I believe - although I don't watch much daytime TV - they are always like that. The unemployed in need of a loan and the retired in need of health insurance are the only people who watch TV at that time according to TV executives...
Anyway back to the race. I guess Astana are targeting Aru for victory after Nibali's performance yesterday, perhaps winning the Giro tired the poor lad out.
Ned Boulting was better than the new bug but Ned's promotion to the colemantary box is, overall, a Good Thing.
In spite of extending the end padding time on the Humax to five minutes it still stopped recording with 2 km to go >:(
Ned Boulting was better than the new bug but Ned's promotion to the colemantary box is, overall, a Good Thing.
I'm finding Ned Boulting to be more engaging and a lot less irritating than Phil Liggett. Not to mention that he is also not tainted by association with HWNSMBN.
Trying to workout what that stands for.
Ned Boulting was better than the new bug but Ned's promotion to the colemantary box is, overall, a Good Thing.
I'm finding Ned Boulting to be more engaging and a lot less irritating than Phil Liggett. Not to mention that he is also not tainted by association with HWNSMBN.
Trying to workout what that stands for. Clearly a lance us postal most tested athlete discovery bruyneel ref but can't get it. A clue please ?
Am I the only one who thinks the bloke doing the random articles in the highlights shouldn't really be a TV journalist as he is so wooden?
Ned Boulting was better than the new bug but Ned's promotion to the colemantary box is, overall, a Good Thing.
I'm finding Ned Boulting to be more engaging and a lot less irritating than Phil Liggett. Not to mention that he is also not tainted by association with HWNSMBN.
Trying to workout what that stands for. Clearly a lance us postal most tested athlete discovery bruyneel ref but can't get it. A clue please ?
I think it's supposed to be HWNSNBM - He Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned aka Le Texan
Bloody BBC have given away today's stage winner before I've had a chance to watch any of it. Gits.Watch it anyway. I saw it live and it was wonderful.
"Bravo Bravo" as they said on France 2 today :)
Hehe, we talked about that ride today, jolly good fun :)"Bravo Bravo" as they said on France 2 today :)
And he didn't get overtaken by a granny! ;)
Hehe, we talked about that ride today, jolly good fun :)"Bravo Bravo" as they said on France 2 today :)
And he didn't get overtaken by a granny! ;)
Hoy, Wiggo & Cav would make a perfect "Holy trinity" outside the London Velodrome (even more so if Cav & Wiggo get medals in Rio).
And the award for the most bizarre non-selection at the Olympics goes to....Indeed.
Punchy...You are not wrong either ....
A. Yates: You utter git, C Froome!Yeah I felt a bit sorry for Yates too.
Blimey. Descending at 90km/h
And pedalling.
While astride the top tube.
Cardinal Brailsford: “No one expects the Sky Improvisation! Our chief weapon is surprise, fearless descending and surprise; two chief weapons, fearless descending, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fearless descending, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near-fanatical domestiques! Um, I'll come in again...”
Am I right in assuming that in spite of the gloomy prognostications of C Boardman The Man did not deem Cav to have been too late to go tothe ballAndorra tomorrow?
Am I right in assuming that in spite of the gloomy prognostications of C Boardman The Man did not deem Cav to have been too late to go toYup, he and Bernie made the time cut- according to the team they got back four minutes on the grupetto in the last 20km.the ballAndorra tomorrow?
Brits are holding 3 out of 4 jerseys, hold the first 2 places overall and have won 5 out of the 8 stages so far.Not only that; Brit. riders aren't confined to one team and the presence of youngsters such as Yates and McLay suggests we have good reason for hoping to see good results for UK cyclists for a few years to come.
And all the pundits are tipping A Murray ofScotlandshireThe Newly Independent Nation of Scotland to win Wmbldn this afternoon. It's the End Times, I tells 'e!
The Port de la Bonaigua, is well up in the contenders for the location of wittiest piece of graffiti painted on the road by a bike fan. Usually these are messages to the painter's cycling hero, exhorting him to greater efforts or counselling against getting discouraged, but this one, picked out clearly by the TV helicopter in 1993, read,
"Hello mum, what do you mean I never write?"
Just seen the last summit again and Quintana was concentrating on getting a drink rather than what Froome was doing as they went over the top. He threw the bottle pretty sharpish when he saw the attack but it was a bit late then, Froome had gone.
Brits are holding 3 out of 4 jerseys, hold the first 2 places overall and have won 5 out of the 8 stages so far.
Aaahh yet another numpty spectator ... I'm pretty sure that, that stated they will keep their distance in the future.
Not sure we've had this, but impressive professionalism from the Five Live team last week as the desk collapsed on them in the middle of the sprint: -
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cycling/36719488
Oh yes that green nutter nearly took out two riders.Aaahh yet another numpty spectator ... I'm pretty sure that, that stated they will keep their distance in the future.
Which one - the lemming who was floored by Bennett, or the idiot in the green spandex gimp suit who was nearly hit by Majka?
Dumoulin is clearly not run of the mill.
They're getting softer, these pro cyclists.
http://imgur.com/A5yzkMw (http://imgur.com/A5yzkMw)
| P Sagan: | O hai! I am P Sagan and I am made of teh Win! Also I am Champion of teh WURRRLD and therefore made of even more teh Win! You lot will be on teh receiving end of teh pwnage! Oh. Arse! |
| M Matthews: | Ha ha, P Sagan! You did not see that coming, eh! Luser! |
| O Tinkov: | You are not riding for me next year, P Sagan! Oh, wait... |
The question is: has that 20-odd minute effort harmed his performance for tomorrow? Because tomorrow will be a big day whether or not they shorten Mont Ventoux.
Froome had every right to do it. If there was any doubt, he’s proving himself to be a real racer! Makes for brilliant TV.
The question is: has that 20-odd minute effort harmed his performance for tomorrow? Because tomorrow will be a big day whether or not they shorten Mont Ventoux.
Unlike Quintana, who doesn't seem to have learnt from last year's mistakes.
The question is: has that 20-odd minute effort harmed his performance for tomorrow? Because tomorrow will be a big day whether or not they shorten Mont Ventoux.
The question is: has that 20-odd minute effort harmed his performance for tomorrow? Because tomorrow will be a big day whether or not they shorten Mont Ventoux.
It's good training for the TT, and the rest of the team are rested, only Thomas made an effort.
Stage shortened tomorrow, finish at Chalet Reynard apparently.
Really shit forecast for tomorrow; 90kph winds, 5°, -4° with chill factor :o
Presumably Quintana and the rest (well, just Quintana, no-one else is likely to challenge), will have been equally hammering it so they should be in the same position ?
| P Sagan | O hai! I am P Sagan and I am made of teh Win! Crazy! |
| C Froome | O hai! I am C Froome and I, also, am made of teh Win! |
| C Wind | O hai! I am teh weather and I am made of teh Wind ha ha! |
| N Quintana | Piss! |
| M Cavendish | Anyone got a Power Monkey? |
Really shit forecast for tomorrow; 90kph winds, 5°, -4° with chill factor :o
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cycling/36786486
I think it was more a case of Froome not wanting to hang around for Sagan to give the stage to Bodnar, since every second was counting. As soon as Froome sprinted, Sagan was forced to win the stage.
Bodnar won’t have liked that, but Froome had every right to do it. If there was any doubt, he’s proving himself to be a real racer! Makes for brilliant TV.
Froome was clearly very aware of the time bonuses, which weren't of any great significance to either Bodnar or Sagan, and was always going to contest it.
It’s interesting that Cavendish said he was stuck in his 15T cog, which was apparently too low to be useful. Assuming a 53T chainring, that’s almost identical to my top gear of 46T / 13T. That feels like a big gear to me. This stage averaged over 47 km/h.According to Cav, they were going at 70 kph, which works out as 153 rpm on 53/15 (or a bit more - I assumed a 27" wheel diameter)
C Froome himself said 120 km/h.
Seems that Movistar are a tad... butthurt:
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/quintana-and-movistar-blast-tour-de-france-organisers-for-dangerous-stage-11/
Seems that Movistar are a tad... butthurt:Unbelievable whining.
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/quintana-and-movistar-blast-tour-de-france-organisers-for-dangerous-stage-11/
Adverts for personal injury lawyers, will-writing services and funeral insewerants? What do ITV4's suits think the demographic of TdF fans is?
Him running might just be one of the classic moments in Tour history! ...
Those GC standings had better not stand >:(
Those GC standings had better not stand >:(
It's all good and fine to say that they should adjust the GC timings, but what would you want them to do if one of the crashees had been injured and was unable to continue? And if you retrospectively neutralise the timings back to 3km, that unfairly penalises riders who legitimately put in the effort to gain time in those final kilometres. A real minefield...
It's all good and fine to say that they should adjust the GC timings, but what would you want them to do if one of the crashees had been injured and was unable to continue? And if you retrospectively neutralise the timings back to 3km, that unfairly penalises riders who legitimately put in the effort to gain time in those final kilometres. A real minefield...
Same category as having the Flamme Rouge collapse on you.
Seems that Movistar are a tad... butthurt:
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/quintana-and-movistar-blast-tour-de-france-organisers-for-dangerous-stage-11/
| T de Gendt: | O hai! I am T de Gendt and I am made of teh Win! |
| D Navarro: | You utter git, T de Gendt! |
| C Froome: | O hai! I am C Froome and I, also, am made of teh Win! |
| N Quintana: | You utter git, C Froome! |
| R Porte: | O hai! I am R Porte and I am ma...hang on a sec! What flaming drongo put a bloody motorbike there? |
| C Froome: | M Farah doesn't have to put up with this sort of nonsense! |
| A Flag-Waving Spaniard: | O hai! I have been asleep at the bottom of a wine barrel since last Saturday. What do you mean, A Contador has retired from the race? |
| [Much, much later] | |
| C Froome: | Hurrah for Truth, Justice and the |
| E Unzué: | Not fair! Dangerous! Oh wait, that was yesterday... |
| P Sagan: | Crazy! |
It's all good and fine to say that they should adjust the GC timings, but what would you want them to do if one of the crashees had been injured and was unable to continue? And if you retrospectively neutralise the timings back to 3km, that unfairly penalises riders who legitimately put in the effort to gain time in those final kilometres. A real minefield...
Froome didn't crash he was knocked off by an official TDF Motorbike that did an emergency stop immediately in front of him.
That's different to crashing and even different to a fan knocking him off. The TdF Organisation knocked him off.
The least they can do is neutralise the finish but even then Quintana gets a huge bonus. What they should do is use the time gaps at the instant of the crash.
They are all Geo-Tagged. The gaps were pretty much set with only a minute to go.
Same category as having the Flamme Rouge collapse on you.
That was well into WTF territory as well.
C'est quoi ce bordel?
I want all mountains stages at the finish to be fenced off from now on! Ridiculous!
Isn't there a penalty involved for progressing along the course without a bicycle?
Didn't Jens Voigt once finish a stage on a clown-sized Mavic bike with toe straps after chinning an Alp (which spent a month in a coma)?Yup, was a kids' bike with junior gearing, 2010 I think.
Apparently, the reason Froome was having problems with the neutral service bike was because it has Look pedals and he uses Shimano.
They only carry bikes with Look pedals or flat pedals with toeclips.
Slight cock-up on the organisational front there. :facepalm:
I thought Porte was about to give Froome a croggy to the finish, which would have made an interesting problem for the Blazers.
I am sure someone will know but would it be possible to pixelate out the runners? They aren't interested in the racing but only to get on telly.
Either that, or rounding up one or two of them and shooting them...especially the ones in Mankinis :sick:
Isn't there a penalty involved for progressing along the course without a bicycle?
I believe there is, although I don't know if it's clear how much distance you have to cover before the rule kicks in. I mean, any incident requiring a bike change is going to involve a certain amount of time on foot, so it's open to interpretation - besides, it's up to the commisaires how to apply the rules with regard to each individual incident, non?
(http://i.imgur.com/Lf98S5W.jpg)
Trouble with these new fangled materials is you can't get all Eugène Christophe or Garry von Broad on their as.s(http://i.imgur.com/Lf98S5W.jpg)
McNasty wouldn't have let a mere scratch like that stop him. Just a bunch of prima donnas, these pros ;D
A racer can take as much time as they like changing bikes but they aren't supposed to wander down the road without their bike while it happens.
(http://i.imgur.com/Lf98S5W.jpg)
A racer can take as much time as they like changing bikes but they aren't supposed to wander down the road without their bike while it happens.
Yeah, I know. It's a funny rule though. It's not like running in that situation really achieves much - it occurred to me that he might even have been better off running down the hill, back to the team car.
M. Virenque is rather more flexible in his attitude to Rules ;D
Except that you are not allowed to go the wrong way along the course
although I think a couple of riders in the Z team did do that to help Greg Lemond back on in a 90's Tour.
he did take a neutral bike when a commissaire told him he wasn't allowed to cross the line without one.
I thought Porte was about to give Froome a croggy to the finish, which would have made an interesting problem for the Blazers.
They need a snowplough. Froome running has got to put him into your history. Had it ever happened before? How far did he run?
Isn't there a penalty involved for progressing along the course without a bicycle?someone elsewhere quoted the rule book as follows:
1.2.108 Unless otherwise stated, each rider shall, in order to be classified, complete the race
entirely through his own effort, without the assistance of any other person.
So teh Roolz don't actually say he had to have a bicycle with him at all times
12.12.14 says any “attempt to be placed without having covered the entire course by bicycle” brings elimination but the spirit here is more about what the rule calls “wilful deviation” ie taking a short cut or getting into a train or a car rather than jogging along.
1.2.108 Unless otherwise stated, each rider shall, in order to be classified, complete the race
entirely through his own effort, without the assistance of any other person.
Hmmm, so to be _really_ pernickity about it (and throwing common sense out of the window) that means that teams should be forbidden, neutral service vehicles ditto and goodness only knows what else without the assistance of which no rider could complete the tour or any UCI governed race.
It also makes me wonder about the strict legality of sprint trains and the like.
Dearie me, but it's a fertile field for lawyers to play in.
Interesting perspective from Van Garderen, one that wasn't picked up by Boardman et al, amybe because of all the excitement - from Cyclingnews...
"Mollema wasn't happy with the situation, but in turn van Garderen wasn't best pleased with Mollema, and criticised those who raced hard while Froome and Porte lay stricken by an accident that wasn't of their own making.
"Normally when you see a big GC guy in trouble the gentleman thing to do would be to stop and wait and regroup," said the 27-year-old. "You saw that a lot in the past but these days people just seem to want to take advantage of it."
Don't like how the GC is shaping up? Stand to lose a lot of money on a bet? Get a mob together to impede your rider's rival and change the result.
Do we think the TdF will go ahead today considering events in Nice ?
Do we think the TdF will go ahead today considering events in Nice ?
Is it worth pointing out the dubious logic of running up the road whilst looking back over your shoulder for a car with a bike on the roof?
He should have actually run the other way (or taken his shoes off and really gone for it).
Is it worth pointing out the dubious logic of running up the road whilst looking back over your shoulder for a car with a bike on the roof?If (and its quite a big if in this situation!) the car is moving faster than you can run, then running forwards makes more sense.
He should have actually run the other way (or taken his shoes off and really gone for it).
Interesting perspective from Van Garderen, one that wasn't picked up by Boardman et al, amybe because of all the excitement - from Cyclingnews...
"Mollema wasn't happy with the situation, but in turn van Garderen wasn't best pleased with Mollema, and criticised those who raced hard while Froome and Porte lay stricken by an accident that wasn't of their own making.
"Normally when you see a big GC guy in trouble the gentleman thing to do would be to stop and wait and regroup," said the 27-year-old. "You saw that a lot in the past but these days people just seem to want to take advantage of it."
If we avoidable change what we do, in response to such things, then the bastards have won.
Apparently Froome slowed down to wait for Stannard and Rowe earlier in the stage after the Gerrans crash, and was not happy that Movistar continued riding hard. (As was their right, IMHO)
The TdF continuing is the ideal way of showing defiance to those who want to disrupt normal life by attacking innocent people. It has to go on. Wherever possible, normal life must continue.Hear-hear.
Meanwhile Quintana took a tow, hanging on to the mavic wheel motorbikeI thought Porte was about to give Froome a croggy to the finish, which would have made an interesting problem for the Blazers.
I thought that too..
See further down for the snippet of Team Sky feeding in the final few kms...Meanwhile Quintana took a tow, hanging on to the mavic wheel motorbikeI thought Porte was about to give Froome a croggy to the finish, which would have made an interesting problem for the Blazers.
I thought that too..
10 seconds in on the vid below
https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673 (https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673)
He could get into serious shit for that. Look at how much attention Aru(?) got from the commisaires earlier in the stage.Meanwhile Quintana took a tow, hanging on to the mavic wheel motorbikeI thought Porte was about to give Froome a croggy to the finish, which would have made an interesting problem for the Blazers.
I thought that too..
10 seconds in on the vid below
https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673 (https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673)
:oMeanwhile Quintana took a tow, hanging on to the mavic wheel motorbikeI thought Porte was about to give Froome a croggy to the finish, which would have made an interesting problem for the Blazers.
I thought that too..
10 seconds in on the vid below
https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673 (https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673)
He could get into serious shit for that. Look at how much attention Aru(?) got from the commisaires earlier in the stage.Meanwhile Quintana took a tow, hanging on to the mavic wheel motorbikeI thought Porte was about to give Froome a croggy to the finish, which would have made an interesting problem for the Blazers.
I thought that too..
10 seconds in on the vid below
https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673 (https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673)
Then again, in all the chaos they may just ignore it! :)
"There was video earlier of Richie Porte apparently having something thrown at him while on the bike, although the footage was inconclusive. Ben Brangwyn emails with more: “Yes, I have forensically examined the video, and here’s my CSI summary. There’s a guy in green on the left quite far out into the road towards the end of the vid. It’s not him, it’s the person two positions further on from him in a pale green top. You can see the arm movement and the trajectory of the object matches it. My ballistics colleagues concur. Science!”"
| T Dumoulin: | O hai! I am T Dumoulin and I am made of teh Win! |
| T Martin: | Piss. |
| B Mollema: | O hai! I am B Mollema and I, also, am made of teh Win! |
| A Yates: | Arse. |
| C Froome: | O hai! I am C Froome and I am made of major teh Win! |
| N Quintana: | Where's me motorbike? |
| E Unzué: | Not fair! Dangerous! Oh, wait, we've done that one... |
| N Muntz: | Ha and, moreover, ha! |
| P Sagan: | Crazy! |
The not terribly flat time trial compared to many previous Tour ones, definitely didn't suit many riders, but didn't seem to upset Froome too much.
The organisers have tried to replicate the time trial in Rio, and this could turn into a dress rehearsal for Froome or Tom Dumoulin.
Meanwhile Quintana took a tow, hanging on to the mavic wheel motorbike
10 seconds in on the vid below
https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673 (https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673)
It's a 9% gradient, he's barely pedalling, look at how hard everyone else is working. He's getting a tow.QuoteMeanwhile Quintana took a tow, hanging on to the mavic wheel motorbike
10 seconds in on the vid below
https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673 (https://twitter.com/assekevin/status/753720450551836673)
Inconclusive IMHO. He could be stabilising himself given the chaotic nature of the goings on, or even stopping himself running into the motorbike. Either way, look at his hand hold - it's very light and not one, IMO, that suggests he's taking a tow.
Remarkably low rate of attrition it seems this year: so far only 11 abandons/dns out of 196 starters. And it's 2/3 done. Simon Gerrans sustained a broken collar bone in that off, but still finished the stage - they're made of stern stuff - whereas poor Edward Theuns was a victim of that N. wind, which they'll be riding into today.
(http://cycling-today.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/07/Edward-Theuns-crash.jpg)
| N Boulting: | O hai! I am TV's N Boulting and there is nothing to see here. Move along! |
| SD Millar: | O hai! I am TV's Super D Millar and I... ooh look! A château! |
| [Later...] | |
| N Boulting: | Ooh look! Pelicans! They like fish. I think. |
| M Kitteh: | So do I. Also, miaow! |
| [Much later...] | |
| N Boulting: | Ooh look! Flamingoes! Sometimes I hate this job! |
| SD Millar: | Cheer up, TV's N Boulting! Soon teh futile break will be caught, teh teams of teh sprinters will start to wind up teh pace and R McEwen will call teh result. Wrongly. Again. |
| N Boulting: | R McEwen tipped M Cavendish. Piss. Ooh look! Medieval fish farms! |
| M Kitteh: | Stop teh race! I iz hungry! Nom nom nom! Also, miaow! |
| N Boulting: | Some riders are off teh back of teh pelican. Peloton! Arse! |
| [Much, much later...] | |
| M Cavendish: | O hai! I am M Cavendish and I am made of teh Win! LOL @ M Kitteh!!1! |
| M Kitteh: | You utter git, M Cavendish! I am going to get |
| Teh UCI: | Shut ur gob, M Kitteh! U are full of teh FAIL! |
| R McEwen: | Told u! Neener neener and, moreover, neener! |
| P Sagan: | Do I get to say "Crazy!" today? |
| Omnes: | Shut up, P Sagan! |
Not to mention TV's R McEwen talking about "Team Dimension DAR-ta".
I understand that his mother has been fatally involved in an incident with a 4x4 whilst she was cycling.https://twitter.com/Chris_Boardman/status/754708455622049792
Meanwhile, the question on everyone's lips is: the "family emergency" that TV's C Boardman has had to go home for, is it a case of double pneumonia afflicting the unhappy G Boardman?
(http://legslarry.org.uk/BikeStull/coat_48.png)
I understand that his mother has been fatally involved in an incident with a 4x4 whilst she was cycling.
| R Majka: | O hai! I am R Majka and I am made of teh Win! I can haz teh spottyjumper? |
| TD Gendt: | You utter git, R Majka! |
| [Some time later...] | |
| T Dumoulin: | O hai! I am T Dumoulin and I, also, am made of teh Win! Oh. Piss! |
| V Nibbles: | Not yet u r not, T Dumoulin! Oh. Arse! |
| [Quite a lot later...] | |
| J Alaphilippe: | O hai! I am J Alaphilippe and I am made of teh ANGRY! RAAWWRRR! |
| YACF: | Doesn't look much like a narwhal, does he? |
| [Much, much too late...] | |
| R Bardet: | O hai! I am R Bardet and I am made of...oh! I haz lost my specs. Game over. Or is it? OR IS IT?? |
| Omnes: | Yes, R Bardet. Yes, it is. |
| JJ Jarlinsson: | O hai, R Majka! I am Jarlin J Jarlinsson, teh Columbian Viking, and I, too, am made of teh Win! Call me "Jar-Jar" and I will kill u utterly to DETH! |
| R Majka: | O hai, JJ Jarlinsson! [Thinks: I thought I had killed u utterly to DETH! Bum-grapes!] |
| [Shortly afterwards...] | |
| JJ Jarlinsson: | LOL @ R Majka!!1! |
| R Majka: | You utter git, JJ Jarlinsson! |
| J Alaphilippe: | RAAWWRRR!!1! [Gallic shruggery] Mais tomorreau, she iz anozzer day... |
| Omnes: | Heavens to Betsy! It's SO Hara! |
| TV Garderen: | Piss! |
| R Porte: | LOL @ TV Garderen! TP Fairy, teh bloody motorbikes and teh Rubbishs time-trial will not stop my inexorable rise to a mediocre finishing position! |
| N Quintana: | Mmmpfffmmmpp!1 |
| [Too late for ITV...] | |
| P Sagan: | O hai! Cr... |
| Omnes: | Shut up, P Sagan! |
Meanwhile, France TV Direct's streaming service is treating us to views of divers casual persons hopping on & off the podium in Bern to have their photies tuk, while Jaja & C° cough, scratch & fart off-camera. And someone just did up a zip.
. . . .
Young Pantano's got a right set of tombstones though, hasn't he?
. . . .
France TV now rabbiting on about museums.
Meanwhile, France TV Direct's streaming service is treating us to views of divers casual persons hopping on & off the podium in Bern to have their photies tuk, while Jaja & C° cough, scratch & fart off-camera. And someone just did up a zip.
. . . .
There is now a dedicated thread for this tragedy:I understand that his mother has been fatally involved in an incident with a 4x4 whilst she was cycling.https://twitter.com/Chris_Boardman/status/754708455622049792
:(
As a tongue-twister, that's a stinker.
But les Rois de la Pédale had Greg Lemond rabbiting on about museums (and how his first bike was a Schwinn)
| T Martin: | O hai! I am T Martin and, in spite of teh recent lack of evidence for teh defence, am made of teh Win! |
| J Alaphilippe: | O hai and, moreover, RAAAWWWRRR! I am J Alaphilippe and I haz teh strop about, well, everything! Bike trouble, Brexit, P Sagan, climate change, J Corbyn, this year's vendage, Turkey, teh bloody awful Warsaw Concerto, ect. ect. u name it. Permission to say "RAAAWWWRRR" again? |
| B Holm: | If u must, J Alaphilippe, if u must! |
| J Alaphilippe: | RAAAWWWRRR! |
| [Meanwhile...] | |
| N Boulting: | O hai! I am TV's N Boulting, and he who would cross teh |
| SD Millar: | O hai! I am TV's Super D Millar! |
| N Boulting: | What is ur quest? |
| SD Millar: | I seek, er, teh interview with teh S Partacus! |
| N Boulting: | WHAT...is teh capital of CANADA? |
| SD Millar: | Montréal? Toronto? Vancouver? Moose Jaw? Tuktuyaaqtuuq? [...] AAARRRGGGH! |
| [Much, much later...] | |
| T Martin: | Bai, J Alaphilippe! |
| J Alaphilippe: | RAAAWWWRRR! Thank u, T Martin! I feel better now and tomorreau, she iz anozzer day! |
| Omnes: | Shut up, J Alaphilippe! |
| M Kitteh: | Noes! I haz been teh dropped by teh pelican! Peloton! Piss! Also, miaow! |
| T Martin: | Meh! |
| [Later...] | |
| RFD Costa: | O hai! I am |
| M Cavendish: | Arse! |
| P Sagan: | O hai! Me again! LOL, for sure and, moreover, Crazy! |
| S Partacus: | You utter git, P Sagan! |
| J Voigt: | O hai! I am TV's J Voigt and I redefine teh word "Win"! |
| Omnes: | Hurrah! Albeit a slightly muted one. |
| P Sagan: | Oi! Only one of us pwned teh stage today! |
| B Dickinson: | This stage needs more cowbell! Also, can I play with madness? |
| S Uggs: | No, B Dickinson! No, you cannot! |
O Tinkov: You are not riding for me next year, P Sagan! Oh, wait...
| N Boulting: | Yes. Yes, they do! |
Edit: Yay! Jens Voigt :thumbsup:
Edit: Yay! Jens Voigt :thumbsup:
We need iTV4 to manufacture an opportunity for TEH JENS to utter that immortal phrase "Shut up Ned!"
| W Pigs: | O hai! It iz teh rest day and I, W Pigs, am missing my daily fix ov teh Tour de France! Plz to help. Kthxbai! |
| G Imlach: | O hai, W Pigs! U will have 2 wait for teh highlights prog with me, TV's G Imlach! Soz! |
| W Pigs: | O noes!!1! You utter git, G Imlach! |
| ML Maire: | Not so fast, G Imlach! P@nd3m1c Pr0duct10nz(™®) presents teh utterly condensed highlights ov teh first week anna bit ov teh Tour de France, which also lifts sagging breasts, reverses male pattern baldness and cures heroin addiction1! Even includes teh first rest day in case u missed it! |
| Omnes: | Yay! LOL @ G Imlach!!1! U haz been pwned! |
Edit: Yay! Jens Voigt :thumbsup:
We need iTV4 to manufacture an opportunity for TEH JENS to utter that immortal phrase "Shut up Ned!"
That will, I imagine, have to wait until hostilities are resumedtomorreautomorrow, though I'm sure both TV's J Voigt and TV's N Boulting are on Twitter, which I am not.
I want a T-shaped shirt like the one TV's J Voigt was wearing at the end of the highlights programme.
Fame, roll out the red carpet, at last - Mr Larrington quoted me \o/Edit: Yay! Jens Voigt :thumbsup:
We need iTV4 to manufacture an opportunity for TEH JENS to utter that immortal phrase "Shut up Ned!"
That will, I imagine, have to wait until hostilities are resumedtomorreautomorrow, though I'm sure both TV's J Voigt and TV's N Boulting are on Twitter, which I am not. However:
W Pigs: O hai! It iz teh rest day and I, W Pigs, am missing my daily fix ov teh Tour de France! Plz to help. Kthxbai! G Imlach: O hai, W Pigs! U will have 2 wait for teh highlights prog with me, TV's G Imlach! Soz! W Pigs: O noes!!1! You utter git, G Imlach! ML Maire: Not so fast, G Imlach! P@nd3m1c Pr0duct10nz(™®) presents teh utterly condensed highlights ov teh first week anna bit ov teh Tour de France, which also lifts sagging breasts, reverses male pattern baldness and cures heroin addiction1! Even includes teh first rest day in case u missed it! Omnes: Yay! LOL @ G Imlach!!1! U haz been pwned!
I want a T-shaped shirt like the one TV's J Voigt was wearing at the end of the highlights programme.
That and many more stuffs here:
https://www.shutuplegs.com/eu/en/
And the award for the most bizarre non-selection at the Olympics goes to....
| G Imlach: | O hai! I am TV's G Imlach and I am made of teh Win! And a speshul "O hai" to W Pigs of Denmark and Yorkshire! |
| Omnes: | U lie, TV's G Imlach! U woz pwned good and proper! |
| G Imlach: | Yes, OK, u win. In the absence of TV's C Boardman we iz not joined by TV's J Voigt because he was afraid we would use one, or moar, ov his many many children 4 teh medical experiments! |
| [Earlier...] | |
| J Voigt: | O hai! I am TV's J Voigt and I am made of teh Win! U better b careful, G Imlach! My youngest haz moar Winnage than u, u grate ponce, and s/he1 iz younger than teh F MacArthur (6) von teh Buckshireland! |
| G Imlach: | So there u haz it! And now TV's Super D Millar! |
| SD Millar: | Blah blah blah C Froome blah M Cavendish blah blah P Sagan blah! And now a word from N Quintana. |
| N Quintana: | Piss! |
| N Boulting: | O hai! I am TV's N Boulting and here iz 5 minutes of time-wasting guff in teh absence of TV's C Boardman and TV's J Voigt. Blah! |
| D Friebe: | O hai! I am TV's D Friebe and I am made of teh |
| M Rendall: | O hai! Je bin el M Rendall d'il televisio, en mi blong teh Sieg Heil! Er, wait, that's not right, is it? |
| Various Cyclists: | Blah! |
| L Armistead: | O hai! I am L Armistead and I am made of teh Win! Not that ud kno it coz I iz not on teh fucking TV! I can plz quote J Alaphilippe? RAAAWWWWRRRR!2 |
| B Hinault: | O hai! Je suis le Blaireau et teh J Alaphilippe haz teh lot to learn about teh mardy! |
| O Tinkov: | Ur all bastards! LOL!!1! Also, simples! |
| SD Millar: | Blah blah blah C Froome blah R Porte blah blah A Yates blah! U liek my hat? |
| Omnes: | Shut up, SD Millar! |
| [Credits roll over teh cringe-inducing choice of teh musick...] |
I was surprised by Cavendish’s withdrawal. He must have fancied his chances on the Champs-Élysées. And more importantly, Merckx’s record of Tour wins is (was?) within reach if he grabs every opportunity. Surely that record is worth more than even a gold medal at the Olympics? And a gold medal is anyway very far from guaranteed. Not even bronze is guaranteed.
Cav's got unfinished business with the Olympics and Rio is probably his last chance, whereas he is still good for a couple more Tours at least, giving him plenty of opportunities to carve his own niche in cycling history.
It'd be a laugh if they changed the cycling route to do a bunch of cols and a long climbing finish. There are a few cols at over 1600m in the hinterlands.
| M Cavendish: | O hai! I am M Cavendish and I am made of teh Win! Also I haz teh RISPEK 4 teh Tour de France! Big-time RISPEK. Innit. Right, I iz off. See u in Brazil, suxx0rz! |
| M Kitteh: | O hai ect. ect. Yay! Also, miaow! |
| A Greipel: | O hai ect. ect. Teh aces! Now I can haz teh Win in teh Paris! |
| P Sagan: | Not if I haz anything 2 do with it, u big lout! Teh win in teh Paris - now that's what I call Crazy Volume 116! |
| E Merckx: | O hai! I am E Merckx and I am teh Platonic ideal ov teh Win! Bof, you Eenglish! I do not care if teh M Cavendish winz teh FIFTY stages! He haz not teh Winnage liek me, E Merckx! |
Anyway, the Olympic road race course looks quite alarmingly Scenic as it is, which is why the likes of Valverde and Nibbles are being touted for teh Win. Not that the lumps will bother Cav, obv.
Cav is indeed on the track, riding the Omnium, and not even Cav can complain about the hills on a velodrome. Can he?
Edit: pwned by teh TimC, who isteh bassist out ov RATM & Audioslavemade ov teh Win.
It always rankles a bit, though, when someone you've been watching with anticipation DNFs for strategic reasons.
Cav is indeed on the track, riding the Omnium, and not even Cav can complain about the hills on a velodrome. Can he?
Edit: pwned by teh TimC, who isteh bassist out ov RATM & Audioslavemade ov teh Win.
Cav is indeed on the track, riding the Omnium, and not even Cav can complain about the hills on a velodrome. Can he?
Edit: pwned by teh TimC, who isteh bassist out ov RATM & Audioslavemade ov teh Win.
Maybe N Quintana should enter the Keirin with his ninja motorbike following skillz.
So, given that the Olympics are just around the corner, putting himself through a week in the high mountains just to possibly get one more stage would be pretty daft.
I'm surprised that more isn't being made of Bury Clarion having a rider in the top three places in the Tour de France.Why the surprise - are they a particularly sh1te club?
I think it's got something of 'The Victor' or 'The Valiant' about it.
https://clarioncc.org/about-the-national-clarion/clarion-cycling-in-the-news/
So, given that the Olympics are just around the corner, putting himself through a week in the high mountains just to possibly get one more stage would be pretty daft.
The reason he called pulling out of the Tour “one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my career” was not that one of the choices was “pretty daft”. Come on, now.
I think he’ll live to regret this decision, but I guess the Olympics mean a lot to him. I think the all-time Tour wins record is far more important than even a gold medal, but maybe he’s cocky enough to think he can do that after Rio.
So, given that the Olympics are just around the corner, putting himself through a week in the high mountains just to possibly get one more stage would be pretty daft.
The reason he called pulling out of the Tour “one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my career” was not that one of the choices was “pretty daft”. Come on, now.
I think he’ll live to regret this decision, but I guess the Olympics mean a lot to him. I think the all-time Tour wins record is far more important than even a gold medal, but maybe he’s cocky enough to think he can do that after Rio.
but maybe he’s cocky enough to think he can do that after Rio.
Personally, I think you underestimate the value of a Games medal to him.
Yates had his earliest results on the track. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Yates_(cyclist)#Palmar.C3.A8s
as did Tom Simpson, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Simpson#Major_results and of course Bradley Wiggins.
He's seen what that's done for their rep in UK
Yates had his earliest results on the track. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Yates_(cyclist)#Palmar.C3.A8s
as did Tom Simpson, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Simpson#Major_results and of course Bradley Wiggins.
All the great pro road riders started on the track, and many of them continued to ride on the track throughout their career.
Peter Sagan started in mountain biking (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItBV9CVJEoo)
For a British audience, an Olympic medal matters, but to a wider international cycling audience, it's what he's achieved in the Tour that Cav will be most remembered for (that and MSR and the World title, of course).
I was thinking more of the socialist leanings of this forum, and the presence a member called Clarion.
For a British audience, an Olympic medal matters, but to a wider international cycling audience, it's what he's achieved in the Tour that Cav will be most remembered for (that and MSR and the World title, of course).
I agree about the British audience. I hadn't heard of the Tour De France until a Brit won it*, and until 2016 I had no idea there was a Green Jersey or that "winning a stage" was in any way important or significant.
So breaking the stage win record will only make him slightly more famous with the few who care about cycle racing. Winning an Olympic medal will make him famous with the general population. If I was thinking about a post-retirement speaking / commentating career I'd go for the latter.
*Or hadn't cared enough to notice.
Peter Sagan started in mountain biking (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItBV9CVJEoo)
Yates had his earliest results on the track. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adam_Yates_(cyclist)#Palmar.C3.A8s
as did Tom Simpson, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Simpson#Major_results and of course Bradley Wiggins.
All the great pro road riders started on the track, and many of them continued to ride on the track throughout their career. The point is that most of them were road racing at a high level by around the age of 20. After the Olympics, Owain Doull is giving up the track to join Sky next year, but he's already 23 so some way behind in his development as a road rider.
Chris Froome rode his first Tour aged 20. Adam Yates at 23 is riding in his third Grand Tour. Hugh Carthy at 20 is likely to ride the Vuelta this year.He's seen what that's done for their rep in UK
Excuse me? Cav is a household name in the UK. Ed Clancy isn't.
Really? The Tour was the one thing I'd heard of before I got into cycling - and I thought that was pretty universal.
Cav obviously feels that it's important enough to kiss off the last week of the Tour for. I don't see anything wrong with that; he's earned the right to do as he sees fit, and it's not as if this is a spur-of-the-moment decision. I don't understand the new-found objections to it. Cav very publicly made the Olympics a major aim of this year's efforts a long time ago.
Cavendish could have finished the Tour, and won in the Olympics with pharmaceutical help.
It'd be a laugh if they changed the cycling route to do a bunch of cols and a long climbing finish. There are a few cols at over 1600m in the hinterlands.
Well as Cav's entered in the track squad, I suppose it'd make a change from just turning left all the time... ;D
Peter Sagan started in mountain biking (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItBV9CVJEoo)
As did Cadel Evans, IIRC.
I can't remember who said it but we need someone who is not scared of going out on the attack a bit earlier than the last 2 Km.
| P Sagan: | O hai! I am P Sagan and I am made of teh Win! Today I are mostly getting moar points in teh snottyjumper wossname! |
| [FX: Ringing phone] | |
| P Sagan: | O hai [...] o, it's you, general [...] wot? [...] I haz teh snottyjumper already? [...] I just haz to get it to teh Paris? [...] Crazy? [...] kthxbai. |
| [FX: >>> CLICK <<< ] | |
| P Sagan: | Piss! |
| [Some time later] | |
| TV Garderen: | O hai! I am TV Garderen and I haz this terrible pain in all teh diodes down my left side. Here I iz, branez teh size of a planet, and they make me cycle up teh mountainz! Oh dog, wot iz teh point? |
| ILC Sweetener: | O hai! I yam I Low-Calorie Sweetener and I yam made of teh Win! |
| JJ Jarlinsson: | Arse! |
| R Porte: | O hai! I am R Porte and I am made of teh Win! Eat my dust, suxx0rs! |
| C Froome: | O hai, R Porte! |
| R Porte: | O hai, C Froome! Haz u seen teh N Quintana or teh B Mollema? |
| C Froome: | No. No, I haz not! |
| R Porte & C Froome: | LOL!!1! |
| A Yates: | O hai! I am A Yates and I am made of teh Win! Also, c me pwn N Quintana & B Mollema! |
| B Mollema: | Come back here and say that! |
| N Quintana: | Piss! |
You got a bunch ofguysforumistes about to turn blue. We're breathing again. Thanks a lot!
I can't remember who said it but we need someone who is not scared of going out on the attack a bit earlier than the last 2 Km.
Merckx said something like that I think but, yes, it seems like people are just happy to follow until it's too late. And it's been a lot like that for a few years now (Quintana's Huez escape last year being a notable exception).
Now maybe they're just to knackered to try anything, Sky having relentlessly having ground them down, or they lack the cahones but either way things won't change unless some goes 'rip, shit or bust'. They'll just lose seconds every finish until the Champs-Elysees. It's like they're riding for 2nd place.
I was thinking more of the socialist leanings of this forum, and the presence a member called Clarion. All the attention is focused on an ex-bank clerk from the Isle of Man, and a Kenyan-born colonial, educated at a public school in South Africa.
However, Froome said he welcomes the competition from Thomas,
"Going back to the rivalry within the team, and the harmony within the team, the key to all of this is communication," added Froome.
"Especially with G. We've been riding together now, it's coming up to 10 years back to 2008 with Barloworld.
"At the Olympics it will be a very honest, open discussion between us, out on the road. Who's feeling good? Can we get the job done today? Will you pull? Will you not pull?
"It's that team dynamic. As long as communication is good I think you'll have that buy-in from everyone.
'If G is flying and I'm struggling, then definitely... [I'd support him]."
I can't remember who said it but we need someone who is not scared of going out on the attack a bit earlier than the last 2 Km.
Merckx said something like that I think but, yes, it seems like people are just happy to follow until it's too late. And it's been a lot like that for a few years now (Quintana's Huez escape last year being a notable exception).
Now maybe they're just to knackered to try anything, Sky having relentlessly having ground them down, or they lack the cahones but either way things won't change unless some goes 'rip, shit or bust'. They'll just lose seconds every finish until the Champs-Elysees. It's like they're riding for 2nd place.
Well shook up the leader board, not much... I can't remember who said it but we need someone who is not scared of going out on the attack a bit earlier than the last 2 Km.Hinault was saying that in his ITV4 interview.
I'm surprised that more isn't being made of Bury Clarion having a rider in the top three places in the Tour de France.
I think it's got something of 'The Victor' or 'The Valiant' about it.
https://clarioncc.org/about-the-national-clarion/clarion-cycling-in-the-news/
I'm surprised that more isn't being made of Bury Clarion having a rider in the top three places in the Tour de France.
I think it's got something of 'The Victor' or 'The Valiant' about it.
https://clarioncc.org/about-the-national-clarion/clarion-cycling-in-the-news/
I suspect this is because few people knew he was a member of Bury Clarion and even fewer cared enough to write.
It is a long way from Bury Clarion, where parents John and Susan took the twins as eight year-old boys after John, a former fell-runner turned club rider, had to give up cycling following an accident.http://www.telegraph.co.uk/cycling/2016/07/20/adam-yates-grows-accustomed-to-his-new-role-as-rising-star-of-th/
Yates, obviously, is completely unfazed. Told that Froome had described his performance thus far as “hugely impressive” but that the yellow jersey wearer did not consider him an overall threat, he just gave a little smile.
“Well, we'll see what happens won’t we?” Then he sauntered off for a little spin, returning a little while later clutching a Fanta Orange.
13:54:14 CEST
Peter Sagan has started his effort. Maybe he can ride up the cols backwards just to liven things up. Maybe he can give a full rendition of a Bertolt Brecht performance or maybe a Lady GaGa dance routine or another song from Grease. Come on Peter...do something. Three stage wins and the Green jersey isn't enough.
I'm assuming that the elimination time of within 25% of the winner for an individual TT will apply. The rising wind will be handy in holding back the best riders a bit. It's handy for Yates that Cavendish and Renshaw have gone home, he has fewer concerns about eliminating team members.Well, that and the fact that they ride on a different team from him... ::-)
Coefficient 7
(An individual time trial stage of quite a unique type)
At Megève, a time delay will be set based on the
fastest time plus 33% of that time.
| S Partacus: | O hai! I am S Partacus and I am made of teh Win! Here I go again on teh 747, looking at teh clouds from teh other side ov heaven, smoking1 & drinking, never gonna stop, reading magazines stop me looking at teh clock, wanna watch teh movie, can't sit still, flying down 2 Rio, going 2 Brazil! |
| ISLD StanRow-MacIngs: | O hai! We are ISLD StanRow-MacIngs and we are taking every day as it comes, anything can still happen because there is a long way to go yet, and we will see what happens. For sure! |
| T Dumoulin: | O hai! I am T Dumoulin and I am made of teh Win! |
| R Majka: | You utter git, T Dumoulin! O hai! U liek my hat? |
| SD Millar: | No, R Majka! No, I do not! |
| R Majka: | U can talk, TV's Super D Millar! That thing u wore on teh rest day made u look liek a cross between Bing Crosby and Mickey teh Pikey! |
| S ****anel: | O hai! I am S ****anel and although I haz had teh Win in teh past as teh multiple time-trial champion of France, I iz mostly here to haz teh LOLz @ teh Political Correctness Gone Teh Madness! |
| S Uggs: | Get tae fck, S ****anel! |
| N Boulting: | O hai! I am TV's N Boulting and as there iz nothing much happening I will talk about haircuts with TV's Super D Millar! |
| SD Millar: | I liek teh short smart haircut! It maek u feel liek teh REAL racer! |
| P Sagan: | Teh day I taek teh fashion tips from u, Super D Millar, iz teh day I enter teh priesthood! |
| G Thomas: | O hai! I am C Froome and so are my sunglasses! |
| SD Brailsford: | O hai! I am Sir D Brailsford. U OK, m8? Why u got teh pencils up ur conk? |
| G Thomas: | Wibble! |
| TV Garderen: | Call that job satisfaction? Coz I don't! |
| T Dumoulin: | Come on, u lot! Ur keeping me out ov teh pub! |
| B Mollema: | O hai! I am |
| A Yates: | O hai! I iz coming to get u, B Mollema! |
| N Quintana: | O hai! My name iz N Quintana! U killed my father! Prepare to die! Oh. Piss! |
| R Porte: | O hai! I iz coming to get u, N Quintana! And you, A Yates! |
| C Froome: | O hai! Take that! And that! And also that! |
| SD Brailsford: | Do not repeat yoreself, boy! |
| J Voigt: | O hai! I am TV's J Voigt. C Froome iz made of teh Win and that iz offishul from me, J Voigt! |
N Quintana: O hai! My name iz N Quintana! U killed my father! Prepare to die! Oh. Piss!
G Thomas: O hai! I am C Froome and so are my sunglasses!
| D Friebe: | O hai! I am TV's D Friebe and I am speaking 2 |
| N Quintana: | Got any cocaine? |
| D Friebe: | No. No, I haz not! |
| N Quintana: | How about a motorbike? |
| D Friebe: | No. Not one of them either. |
| N Quintana: | Piss! |
| [Later...] | |
| SD Millar: | O hai! I am TV's Super D Millar! When Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom had their last garden party I was amongst teh guests, who had a welcome true and hearty. Teh Prince of Wales was also there and my heart jumped with glee when someone said teh prince would like to have a word with me! |
| TPO Wales: | O hai! One is teh Prince ov Wales and one is made of teh Win! Where did u get that hat? |
| Omnes: | Well said, TPO Wales! Roffle @ SD Millar! U look like a refugee from a Rubettes tribute band! |
| SD Millar: | Your all gay! |
| [Later...] | |
| TD Gendt: | O hai! I am TD Gendt and I am made of teh Win! C me make teh vainglorious acceleration on one ov teh 900 Cols de la Forclaz! Move teh biek! 4 grate justiec! |
| R Majka: | O hai, TD Gendt! U sure ur on teh right Col de la Forclaz? U haz no chance to take teh spottyjumper make ur time! |
| TD Gendt: | Arse! |
| [Meanwhile...] | |
| T Astana: | O HAI! WE R TEAM AS-TA-NA AND WE ARE MADE OF TEH DOC-TOR FER-RA-RI'S AS-TA-NA BEANZ! WE WILL EX-TER-MIN-ATE TEH OP-PO-SI-TION 4 TEH F A-RU! |
| D Rosa: | SLO DOWN U GITS! U HAZ EX-TER-MIN-ATED MY KNEEZ! |
| A Grivko: | GET TAE FCK, D RO-SA! |
| [Later...] | |
| TP Fairy: | O hai! I am teh P*nct*r* F**ry and I am teh very embodiment of teh FAIL! Whom shall I torment today, eh? O hai, A Yates! Stab stabbity stabbee!!1! |
| A Yates: | You utter git, TP Fairy1! |
| TV Garderen: | Don't try to engage my enthusiasm, because I haven't got one... |
| [Meanwhile, up the Montée de Pissoir...] | |
| R Majka: | Bai, TD Gendt! LOL!!1! |
| TD Gendt: | Piss! |
| [Quite a lot later...] | |
| R Majka: | Yay! Teh spottyjumper iz mine ALL MINE! |
| LL Sanchez: | LOU-IE, LEE-O, OH NO-ES! ME GOT-TA GO! AYE-YI-YI! [Disappears backwards @ teh rate ov knots] |
| P Rolland: | Ow! That hurts! Get tae fck, TV cameras! |
| *** Boulting: | O hai! I am TV's *** Boulting and teh Moriarty haz struck again! |
| SD Millar: | Don't get it, *** ??? |
| *** Boulting: | Elementary, my dear |
| [Not very much later...] | |
| R Porte: | O hai clouds o hai sky o hai road! Piss! |
| B Mollema: | O hai clouds o hai sky o hai road! Piss! |
| C Froome: | O hai clouds o hai sky o hai road! Piss! |
| V Nibbles: | O hai clouds o hai sky o hai road o hai C Froome! Piss! |
| [Shortly thereafter...] | |
| W Poels: | O hai, C Froome! It's two kilometres to St-Gervais Mont-Blanc. We gotta full bidon of Vittel, half a box of energy gels, it's raining and we're wearing sunglasses! |
| C Froome: | Hit it! Actually, don't bother. |
| ML Maire: | Bloody crashes, spoiling teh Black & Blues Brothers gag! |
| R Bardet: | O hai! I am R Bardet and I am made of teh Win! Better l8 than never, eh, readers? |
| F Aru: | O NO-ES! EX-TER-MIN-ATED! PISS! |
| A Yates: | Even teh juniorshinyjumper not maek up 4 that! Arse! |
Immortan Joe: *** Boulting missed teh Moriaty gag again? MEDIOCRE!!!
G Thomas interviewed by TV's M Rendall after the Curious Incident of the Pole in the Daytime1 (http://www.itv.com/tourdefrance/video-geraint-thomas-jokes-hes-chris-froome-after-stage-16-crash-into-telegraph-pole).I havent seen it, but apparently he followed this up yesterday:
1: May contain traces of W Barguil.
What a riot of laffs UK TV seems to be. We just had a bunch of FdJ blokes hugging the minister of sport and having a good cry.
What a descent! That was bloody exciting - I bet the moto riders had their hearts in their mouths!
| TD Gendt: | O hai! I am TD Gendt and I am made of teh Win! I pwned teh stage on teh Ventoux FFS but all u lot want to talk about is C Froome doing teh impression of U Bolt! Remember C Chiappucci, Sestriere, 1992, eh? |
| Omnes: | C Chiappucci? Plucky J Durand, more like! |
| CP Sagan: | O hai! I am Crazy P Sagan and I bet u lot had forgotten about me! |
| TD Gendt: | Piss! |
| M Matthews: | O hai, CP Sagan! C me pwn u in teh snottyjumper sprint! |
| CP Sagan: | Meh! Liek I care! |
| [Much, much later...] | |
| A Yates: | O hai! I am A Yates and although I am made of teh Win I do not care about teh GC1! Teh juniorshinyjumper iz all I care about2! If u other teams help 2 chase down R Kreuziger I give u a tooffe! |
| Omnes: | Get tae fck, A Yates! |
| A Yates: | I haz |
| [Meanwhile...] | |
| JJ Jarlinsson: | O hai! I am JJ Jarlinsson, teh Columbian Viking, and I am made of teh Win! |
| J Alaphilippe: | O hai and, moreover, RAAAWWWRRR! |
| [Back down teh mountain...] | |
| B Mollema: | O hai! C me, B Mollema, salvage teh wounded pride! Bai, suxx0rz! Oh. Piss! |
| [Tête de la Course...] | |
| J Alaphilippe: | Bai, suxx0r! Also, RAAAWWWRRR! Oh. Piss! |
| JJ Jarlinsson: | Poo on u, J Alaphilippe! We Vikings did not cross teh stormy Caribbean 2 Columbia by being teh grate ponces! |
| V Nibbles: | O hai, u 2! Ur both made ov teh FAIL! U cannot descend liek me, V Nibbles! |
| J Izzywizzy: | O hai! I am J Izzywizzy! Let's get busy! |
| JJ Jarlinsson: | Arse and, moreover, Hellwetter! |
| V Nibbles: | Come back & fight, u bloody cowards! |
| J Alaphilippe: | Oh FFS! |
| SD Brailsford: | Thank fck that's all over! |
| ML Maire: | OK, we haz all teh jumpers ect. ect. singed 4 so yay 4 C Froome, A Yates, R Majka & Crazy P Sagan. But wot ov teh awardz that teh grate ponces ov teh Eh Ess Oh don't bother wif, eh? EH? |
| Omnes: | Tell us moar, ML Maire! |
| Teh P Anderson Award 4 Teh Teefs: | Jarlin J Jarlinsson (teh Columbian Viking) |
| Teh F Massa D-Feat From Teh Jawz Ov Teh Win! Cup: | B Mollema |
| Teh S Kelly Shield 4 Teh Heroic Non-Communication: | N Quintana |
| Teh TeXXXas Postman Prize 4 Teh Blatant | N Quintana |
| El Premio F Alonso 4 I'd Rather Be On Teh DETH Row: | TV Garderen |
| Teh P Fairy Marathon Plus 4 Teh P*nct*r* Ov Teh Race: | R Porte |
| Teh W Rooney Sulk Ov Teh Month Trophy: | M Kitteh |
| Teh I Kilmister B0rked Bass String 4 Goin' To Brazil: | M Cavendish & S Partacus (joint award) |
| Teh GD Haig Award 4 Teh Attax Ov Utter Pointlessness (Individual): | TD Gendt |
| Teh GD Haig Award 4 Teh Attax Ov Utter Pointlessness (Team): | TEAM AS-TA-NA |
| & | |
| Teh TV's SD Millar Pelecanus onocrotalus Binocularz 4 Teh Bridwatching: | TV's *** Boulting |
Whilst imbibing coffee and eating bread pudding at silly o'clock last Saturday morning, Adrian, sometime OTP, advised me that Aru should be pronounced inna Warren Zevon stylee, followed by 'Werewolves of London'. I commend it to the house.
:-) My take on Adrian's comment was that he couldn't hear anyone mention Aru without his mentally following up with "werewolves of London" in a singing stylee.
Seconded.
Whatever, following that chat I too find myself in exactly the same position.
Is it any different from the standard Lotto-Soudal jersey?Maybe it was just an odd camera angle as he limped over the finish line. Or maybe the rain had washed away all the Lotto logos. Or maybe my eyes are even worse than I thought ...
Is it any different from the standard Lotto-Soudal jersey?Maybe it was just an odd camera angle as he limped over the finish line. Or maybe the rain had washed away all the Lotto logos. Or maybe my eyes are even worse than I thought ...
(It certainly wasnt stripey, and nothing like the design you posted.)
...
TD Gendt: O hai! I am TD Gendt and I am made of teh Win! I pwned teh stage on teh Ventoux FFS but all u lot want to talk about is C Froome doing teh impression of U Bolt! Remember C Chiappucci, Sestriere, 1992, eh? Omnes: C Chiappucci? Plucky J Durand, more like!
I know there have been several nasty offs this year (Theuns esp.) but it has been nice to have a TdF without the mass pile-ups of many recent editions.
Nice speech from the man there.
This might have been my favourite Tour ever. Brilliant, from start to finish, and the world's nicest man goes home in yellow - and he's aBritKenyan :D
| A Yates: | O hai! I am A Yates and I am made of teh Win! C Froome haz teh yellow biek, Crazy P Sagan haz teh green biek and teh R Majka haz teh spotty biek! WHY I NOT HAZ TEH WHITE BIEK? IZ TEH NOT FAIR!!1! |
| Omnes: | Oh grow up, u little squit! |
| A Yates: | SHAN'T!!1! |
| [Later...] | |
| T Sky: | Yay! Teh BEER!!1! |
| A Yates: | Teh T Sky haz teh BEER! Y I not haz teh BEER? NOT FAIR!!1! |
| Omnes: | Ur not old enuff 2 haz teh BEER, A Yates! Does ur Mum kno ur here? |
| A Yates: | WAAAAAAAAH!!1! |
| [Quite a lot later...] | |
| Omnes: | Oi! C Prudhomme! Get on with it! |
| B Hinault: | [Waves white flag] That's teh first & last time I surrend0rz, C Prudhomme, you utter git! |
| TD Gendt: | O hai! I am TD Gendt! Time 4 another pointless attack. CU l8r, suxx0rz! Actually, noes. Can't b ar53d! |
| [Really an awful lot later...] | |
| *** Boulting: | O hai! I am TV's *** Boulting! Isn't teh France BRILLIANT? |
| SD Millar: | O hai! I am TV's Super D Millar! Yes, ***. Yes, it is! |
| *** Boulting: | Ooh look! Teh XIIIeme century fish pond! |
| M Kitteh: | Did sum1 sa "fish"? I liek fish! Also, miaow! |
| M Bodnar: | W00t! I am now TV's M Bodnar! O hai clouds o hai sky o hai Mrs M Bodnar! |
| *** Boulting: | Ooh look! Sylvain ["Poisonous Term" - Ed.]anel! And now a 16' tall psychedelic wol will talk to u about pensions! |
| SD Millar: | U been at teh brass polish again, ***? |
| [Almost, but not quite, tomorreau...] | |
| T Martin: | Bai! |
| M Kitteh: | Piss, piss and miaow! |
| D Martin: | Arse! |
| B Holm: | WTF? Y my team fall 2 bitz? |
| T Bell1: | Ding and, moreover, dong! |
| B Coqup: | FFS! |
| A Greipel: | Yay! Made of teh Win at last! |
| A Kristoff: | Kristoff? Pistoff, more like! |
| CP Sagan: | Crazy!!1! |
| [Teh Podiumz..] | |
| P Girl: | Outta tha way, R Majka! |
| R Majka: | I'm not washing that arm 4 teh while! |
| [Grams: Rule Britannia] | |
| C Froome: | Merci, vive le Tour et vive La France! [Sotto voce] If that doesn't stop the piss-chucking bastards I'm retiring... |
| [Long after dark...] | |
| SD Millar: | ***? |
| *** Boulting: | Yes, Super D? |
| SD Millar: | What is teh capital ov Canada? |
| *** Boulting: | Ot...[Grams: GY!BE's "East Hastings". Roll end credits] |
- and he's a Brit :D
- and he's a Brit :D
Just like Andy Murray. ;D
This might have been my favourite Tour ever. Brilliant, from start to finish, and the world's nicest man goes home in yellow - and he's a Brit :D
There was a Englishman in the top 10 of course ... he's just been riding for Ireland since he was 20!
This might have been my favourite Tour ever. Brilliant, from start to finish, and the world's nicest man goes home in yellow - and he's a Brit :D
Actually, I thought it was a bit formulaic and tedious. Oh Well...
ETA: It was rescued by our very own Mr Larrington, natch.
All in all a good tour.
There was a Englishman in the top 10 of course ... he's just been riding for Ireland since he was 20!
I bet that's come as a bit of a surprise to A Yates!
This might have been my favourite Tour ever. Brilliant, from start to finish, and the world's nicest man goes home in yellow - and he's a Brit :D
Actually, I thought it was a bit formulaic and tedious. Oh Well...
ETA: It was rescued by our very own Mr Larrington, natch.
Have to agree about Mr Larrington's stuff, though. Has anyone sent it to TV's *** Boulting?
Have to agree about Mr Larrington's stuff, though. Has anyone sent it to TV's *** Boulting?
Nooooooooooo! He'll send Evil C Boardman round to kill me utterly to DETH :hand:
*** Boulting: Ooh look! Sylvain ["Poisonous Term" - Ed.]anel! And now a 16' tall psychedelic wol will talk to u about pensions!
Can they change the green jersey back to a proper sprinting contest, so Peter Sagan doesn't win it so much?
"It was amazing to win, just as special as the first time, the beers are definitely on me tonight"
Can they change the green jersey back to a proper sprinting contest, so Peter Sagan doesn't win it so much?
Or reintroduce the red jersey (to howls of anguish from Katusha and Lotto-Soudal)?
On that note, can they do something about the yellow jerseys worn by Lotto Jumbo? ONCE always used to change to pink from their normal yellow for the tour so the point of the yellow jersey (to stand out) was upheld.
I think (according to the French) the green jersey is supposed to be about the best all-rounder rather than just sprinters. They changed it to stop M. Cavendish winning it so much IIRC.
They changed it to stop M. Cavendish winning it so much IIRC.
jumps on to Sagan's wheel for the utterly brilliant sight of the green and yellow jersey jointly putting the whole race to the sword on a stage that was supposed to be flat and boring.
Doesn't take much working out - even if he'd won every intermediate sprint, that would have added up to 180 points, but his margin over M Kitteh in second place was something like 240 points.
Looking at the weather details for Ventoux I am surprised they haven't had to abort the climb before the summit more often. The wind at the summit tops 90kmph on 240 days a year on average !
The interest for me this year was outside of the 'battle' for yellow - because there wasn't one, the GC was about 2nd place. Yates and Bardet (in particular) made it for me, as Quintana just didn't really happen.
There were some cracking sprints, it was great to see Cavendish's return to form. Sagan really is on helluva of a bike rider and deserves a jersey simply for turning up. For me, he is the type of rider the green jersey was intended for.
I wonder if a rule change for next year might be to exempt Sky from having to turn up. Just award Froome yellow and be done with it. Or make them ride tricycles or something. Anything to make for a more open competition.
La Course is on, sprint every two laps, make a fast race :)
Yup there was some shouting, I know the tower is nice heck been up it three times, but break away !?!La Course is on, sprint every two laps, make a fast race :)
Did you get a bit frustrated by them cutting away every five seconds to show sweeping shots of Paris, even cutting away from somebody breaking away from the front? I found it quite annoying.
I wonder if a rule change for next year might be to exempt Sky from having to turn up.
La Course is on, sprint every two laps, make a fast race :)
Did you get a bit frustrated by them cutting away every five seconds to show sweeping shots of Paris, even cutting away from somebody breaking away from the front? I found it quite annoying.
But there's little to stop any of the other teams doing what Sky have done - pick one goal, plan A, and ignore everything else. If everyone sits on their thumbs waiting for Sky to ride, they can't complain when Sky ride away with the race.
On the other hand... BMC turned up with two GC riders (three when GvA took yellow) and then didn't know who to ride for until it was too late; even pre-Contadepart, Tinkoff was two guys down most days because Sagan and Majka were up the road half the time; ditto for Movistar with less success. Astana tried occasionally to turn the screw on the GC bunch but failed to make it stick.
Yes, budgets are a big part of it and Froome owes a massive part of his wins to the superdomestiques that they seem to recruit. I'd like to see an NFL-style team salary cap, but with the variety of team rosters I don't know how you'd implement it effectively.
I think they manage to recruit them because they are able to say, "Do you want to ride on the team that will win?" And that's because Chris Froome is head and shoulders above the others in consistency (and height). Also, Sky's personnel do change - but Froome doesn't. He wins because he is the best. I think it will be fascinating to see where Yates ends up next time.
The mystery is where the ruthless efficiency of Sky came from,
Movistar had Rodriguez
Movistar had RodriguezYou mean Valverde, I think — Rodríguez rides for Katusha.