Yet Another Cycling Forum

General Category => Freewheeling => Racing => Topic started by: Pingu on June 30, 2017, 05:40:06 pm

Title: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on June 30, 2017, 05:40:06 pm
Placeholder for Mr. Larrington  :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on June 30, 2017, 05:52:06 pm
<anticipation intensifies>
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on June 30, 2017, 06:52:42 pm
Omnes: 'Get on wivvit!'
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mrs Pingu on June 30, 2017, 07:16:34 pm
Miaow!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Karla on June 30, 2017, 09:46:59 pm
I'm away for two weeks and I didn't set the PVR.  Damn.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Auntie Helen on June 30, 2017, 09:50:10 pm
I live 25km from Düsseldorf but won't be going tomorrow- too crowded!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: pdm on June 30, 2017, 10:11:32 pm
I'm away for two weeks and I didn't set the PVR.  Damn.
I am recording the highlights - I am sure something can be arranged....
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: pdm on June 30, 2017, 10:12:54 pm
I live 25km from Düsseldorf but won't be going tomorrow- too crowded!
Was in Orsoy last week - even closer... :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Auntie Helen on July 01, 2017, 07:14:26 am
I live 25km from Düsseldorf but won't be going tomorrow- too crowded!
Was in Orsoy last week - even closer... :)
I cycle through there on occasion for a different Rhein crossing
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 01, 2017, 07:49:53 am
When I worked for Ericsson we called it Drotteldorf.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 01, 2017, 08:29:24 am
Looking at the route, I dont think the organisers want Froome to win
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 01, 2017, 02:38:36 pm
Promising start as TV's Super D Millar does not wear a stupid hat in pre-race wibbling with TV's G Imlach and TV's C Boardmen.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 01, 2017, 02:51:04 pm
TV's Super D Millar has some great hair action going on at the moment. Would be a shame to cover it up with a silly hat.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 01, 2017, 02:52:02 pm
'Tis but the prologue. There's plenty of time for a Super D Millarnery moment twixt now and gay Paree...


Ah yes, that's my natty fedora over there, ta.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: thing1 on July 01, 2017, 05:31:47 pm
Very sad to see Valverde out so soon. He's so good at lighting up the mountain stages, we'll miss him (and his team really will)
 
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Steph on July 01, 2017, 06:08:31 pm
...and thank you S4C for your coverage. Chwarae teg, Geraint!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 01, 2017, 06:20:05 pm
w00t!  P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® iz back.  Unfortunately teh Write app we used last year 4 teh writing ov Stuffs has just decided not 2 work any more.  This iz made ov pants.  And teh much-hyped-on-TV Word 4 Fondleslabs cannot save Stuffs as a text file, which iz made ov MOAR pants.  And keeps autocorrecting “teh”, which iz made ov unwashed pants.  With Tories in them.  And (explodes…)

Stage 1: Düsseldorf

Omnes:GET ON WITH IT!!1!
N Boulting:O hai! I am TV’s *** Boulting and I am made ov teh win!
SD Millar:O hai! I am TV’s Super D Millar and I, also, am made ov teh win!
N Boulting:No hat today, eh, Super D? And no pelicans, either!
SD Millar:No. No, there are not. Good weather 4 teh ducks, though, lol and, indeed, roffle!
A Duck:Actually, Super D Millar, we anatidae like nothing better than a nice sunny day. Except bread, natch. Got any bread?
SD Millar:No. No, I haz not.
A Duck:DIAF, Super D Millar! (Exit, pursued by a cocker spaniel)
N Boulting:Yay! Here iz TV’s M Rendall, Knower ov Stuffs! Plz 2 tell us, M Rendall, what u know ov teh course and things?
M Rendall:Nix rien nul y naff-all! Je am gang ti la Kneipe! (Exit, shaped like an umbrella)
Enter TV’s C Boardmen
EC Boardman:O hai! I am TV’s Evil C Boardman and I am teh embodiment ov pure wickedness, badditude and vole-bothering! Right, I’m off! Iz teh small furry animal out there with mi naem on it. Bai! (Exit, pursued by TV’s Nice C Boardman)
N Boulting:Lucky escape there, eh, kids!
Some time later…
PT Voeckler:O hai! Je suis Petit Tommy Voeckler de la télévision, et je suis fabriqué de la victoire! Toutes les belles dames de la France m’aimeront encore plus, parce que je serai dans un opéra du savon. Il s’agit de la famille, n’est-ce pas? J’ai pris des leçons de Danny Dyer de la télévision!1
Quite a lot later…
S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel:O hai! I am S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel and although I am made ov teh win, having been teh time-trial champion ov France many times, I am just here 4 joke comedy purposes today!
A Valverde:Piss! That hurts!
G Thomas:O hai! I am no longer C Froome but I am still made ov teh win! Plz 2 buck ur ideas up, u lot! They call this teh “hot seat” but I iz bloody freezing and want 2 go 2 teh pub!
T Martin:Arse!
M Kitteh:O hai! I am M Kitteh and I am made ov teh win! Also, miaow! Not a bad time-trial 4 a sprinter, eh? Plz 2 give mi teh fish!
N Quintana:O hai! Mi name iz N Quintana. U killed mi father. Prepare 2 die! Oh. Bollocks!
C Froome:O hai clouds oh hai sky team bus o hai stem o bugger!
G Thomas:Yay! Pwnage! I can haz shinyjumper!
Much, much later…
SD Millar:***?
N Boulting:Yes, Super D?
SD Millar:U never did tell mi what iz teh capital ov Canada!
CP Sagan:Crazy!!1!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 01, 2017, 06:45:33 pm
Broken kneecap for Valverde. That's gonna hurt.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: David Martin on July 01, 2017, 07:06:55 pm
There is a pun here about the kneecap being the patella which is also the latin name for the limpet.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: andyoxon on July 01, 2017, 07:21:46 pm
What's the general spoiler status of this thread?

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TheLurker on July 01, 2017, 07:22:17 pm
w00t!  P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® iz back. 
P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nz is sponsored by Witchfinder General. For all your second-hand pre-burnt Servants of Stan.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Basil on July 01, 2017, 07:42:36 pm
What's the general spoiler status of this thread?


I'd say that if anyone didn't want to know the score,  they should look away now.

Seriously,  if you don't want to know what happened in the tdf, why would you click on a thread entitled tdf?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 01, 2017, 07:46:41 pm
Half of the riders in the top 8 today were Team Sky riders.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: andyoxon on July 01, 2017, 08:26:41 pm
So I guess Geraint will fall in for full support of Froome, but with a certain amount of 'waiting in the wings' just in case...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: David Martin on July 01, 2017, 08:42:34 pm
First welsh yellow jumper wearer..
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 01, 2017, 09:06:37 pm
Half of the riders in the top 8 today were Team Sky riders.

I imagine you're absolutely delighted by this!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 01, 2017, 10:08:43 pm
Yay!

I saw TV's *** Boulting in FurryBootToon earlier this year  :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 01, 2017, 10:14:36 pm
Half of the riders in the top 8 today were Team Sky riders.

I imagine you're absolutely delighted by this!

I just think it's very normal.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 01, 2017, 10:33:07 pm
Astana beansTM obviously working!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 02, 2017, 12:54:47 pm
Surely that's a Schloß, ***, not a château?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mzjo on July 02, 2017, 01:34:56 pm
Watching this at my mum's on ITV4 and having withdrawal symptoms from the absence of messrs Durand,Virenque, Moncoutie et al. No french telly in spite of being in Brittany. :'(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 02, 2017, 01:40:16 pm
No french telly in spite of being in Brittany. :'(

This works for me: http://sport.francetvinfo.fr/tour-de-france/direct
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 02, 2017, 01:51:13 pm
J Durand:That's plucky J Durand 2 u, laddie!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 02, 2017, 02:01:02 pm
Plucky J. Durand as in the Beatles' warble "I wanna hold your hand[le de door]"?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 02, 2017, 02:25:59 pm
Pukiest bike colours: WGG's mid-blue with pink fluo bars. :sick:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 02, 2017, 05:06:11 pm
Stage 2: Düsseldorf->Liège

N Boulting:O hai! TV’s *** Boulting here! Blah!
SD Millar:O hai! TV’s Super D Millar reporting 4 duty. What tiem’s lunch, ***?
N Boulting:L8er, Super D. First we have 2 talk inanely about not much 4 an hour. Look, see, they have stopped teh pelican 4 teh anthems. We’ll show our RISPEK by cutting to teh adverts!
Grams: Orchestra playing Beethoven
N Farage:Stop that! STOP THAT!!1! We don’t have to listen 2 that rubbish any more!
Omnes:Get tae fck, u grubby little crypto-fascist jelly baby!
Exit N Farage, pursued by TV’s G Miller, with an axe
N Boulting:See, a futile break has formed!
SD Millar:Yes. Yes, it has. Still, it will be a stage 4 teh sprinters because I, TV’s Super D Millar said so. Also, since teh last Tour de France I haz heard ov Game Theory.
Y Offredo:O hai! I am Y Offredo and I am fukn’ nails, me! C me larrf @ ur baseball bat and StanleyTM knife tomfoolery! Let me taek teh spottyjumper or I will kill u utterly to DETH!
T Phinney:O hai! I am T Phinney and I am made ov teh Win! Not only iz mi Dad bigger than urs, mi Mum iz bigger than ur Dad! C me get teh spottyjumper!
Y Offredo:Arse! U git, T Phinney!
T Boudat:Ur Mum!!1!
Y Offredo:Fukn watch it, u gr8 ponce!
Later…
N Boulting:Because me and TV’s SD Millar are made ov teh Win, we haz negotiated a similar contract 2 teh one TV’s Evil C Boardman had 4 teh Olympics, so we iz off 4 lunch!
SD Millar:Yay! Caviar & quails’ eggs, turbot au beurre blanc et fruits de la forêt here I come! Let’s go, ***!
N Boulting:Not forgetting teh Puligny-Montrachet, Super D! Meanwhile, here are M Smith and TG Hart, a Ginsters pasty and a bottle of Pschitt…
M Smith:O hai! I am. TV’s M. Smith and. I am. Made ov. Teh Win!
Omnes:U were better in Doctor Wossname, m8!
TG Hart:O hai! I am TG Hart and I would liek 2 be TV’s TG Hart. Better than riding a bloody bike all day, even without teh expense account lunches!
Omnes:Not. A. Chance.
Later…
TD Gendt:O hai! I am TD Gendt and I am made ov teh Win! Tiem 2 chase down teh futile break!
T Peloton:Pack it in, u sillybollocks!
N Boulting:The race needs a reboot.
Omnes:O RLY, ***? Have u tried switching it off and on again lol?
E ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]ez:O hai! I am E ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]ez and I, although tipped as a potential GC contender, had a piss-awful prologue and have therefore just turned up 4 teh joke comedy purposes!
Quite a lot later…
N Boulting:Tell teh boys and girls about teh Citadel de Jülich, Super D!
SD Millar:(Improvising desperately) Er, it was, um, built in teh fifteenth century by Bobby Julich, as somewhere to keep teh lawnmower, er…
B Dickinson:O hai! I am B Dickinson, poet, airline pilot, bon viveur, soldier of fortune and winner ov teh mrs joyful prize 4 rafia work! Did I just hear a cowbell?
SD Millar:w00t! Saved by teh (cow)bell!
Omnes:Ding-DONG!!1!
C Smash:Do not bother 2 ask, B Dickinson, u already know teh answer!
Very later…
N Boulting:Look! Look, it is raining!
SD Millar:Yes. Yes, it is. Here is TV’s M Rendall and a Team $ky minion.
M Rendall:O hāi! Myn naem ß`appęlle M Rendałł del diståscope øg mi blong Sieg Heil! Was haz ù im di wee baggo? Fefefefe Čhris Ŵaddle.
T$ Minion:Nuzzing mush. Cloze, coke, shooz, weed, drinkies, yellow bentines, hatses, covfefe, arse balm, Astana BeanzTM. Uzhul Stuffs.
SD Brailsford:Cut! CUT, FFS!!1!
FX: Advertising-announcements
A Tellyman:Buy! Buy an Audi! Shopping is freedom! Buy peanuts! Debt is power! Buy a sofa! Buy! Buy!
Omnes:Look, look!!1! Teh Watchfinder-General haz turned his biek umop-ap!sdn!!1! Fukn’ heathen!
Meanwhile…
C Froome:O hai! I am C Froome and I am made of… Arse!
R Bardet:O hai! I am R Bardet and I… Piss! O hai, C Froome! Fancy meeting u here!
T Phinney:Yay! Teh spottyjumper! Now for a S Partacus-stylee assault on teh shinyjumper!
Y Offredo:U & whose army, T Phinney? Have a go if u think ur hard enuff!
Finally…
J Bauer:O hai! I am J Bauer and I am made ov teh Win! Previously on ‘24’… Oh.
SD Millar:Game Theory!
T Peloton:Gotcha!
SD Millar:Lucky break 4 mi l33t 4casting 5k1llz, eh, readers? Game Theory.
M Kitteh:Sprint, sprint, sprinteeeee! Yay! Pwnage! Also, miaow! Fish plz!
A Greipel:Piss!
M Cavendish:Arse!
F Aru:Wait… what!!1! If u hear me howling around your kitchen door, better not let me in! Oh.
G Thomas:Tomorrow is another day.
J Alaphilippe:Oi! That’s mi line! Also, RAAAWWWRRR!!1!
CP Sagan:Do I get to say ‘Crazy’ now?
Omnes:Shut up, CP Sagan!!1!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 02, 2017, 05:22:26 pm
These are suspiciously good, Mr.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 02, 2017, 06:04:08 pm
Comments on Stage 1&2, in descending importance:

- That is an excellent Matt Ren'dell impression.

- Does Geraint's "Carer" really need 13 bottles of water for his post-race recovery??

- When/why did Sky abolish Soigneurs and hire carers? (Probably not becuse I think it's a funny name).

- Is Froome C really the most news-worthy thing in the race at the mo? All he's done is fall off, ride an unexciting tiome-trial, and look *extremely* awkward when asked a harmless question about nutrition.

- "Watchfinder" - who desnt hear that and immediately put "... General" after it?

- Who knew that Dusseldorf would be prettier than Liege? My Tourist Guide to Euro-land needs updating ...

- Apparently the various fractures suffered by the prologue riders were "just part of bikeracing", and its "impossible to protect 14km of roads." FFS - there were maybe 8 fast corners. 2 gym-mats rolled-up at the exit of each would have reduced the risk of serious injury by about 70%. A few quid and a couple of man-hours would have been enough to prevent just about *every* injury. HOW many million Euro did Dusseldorf pay for the race??
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mzjo on July 02, 2017, 08:30:51 pm
No french telly in spite of being in Brittany. :'(

This works for me: http://sport.francetvinfo.fr/tour-de-france/direct

Never thought of the net for telly. Mum only has brit on her satellite!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Giropaul on July 02, 2017, 08:46:43 pm
Comments on Stage 1&2, in descending importance:

- That is an excellent Matt Ren'dell impression.

- Does Geraint's "Carer" really need 13 bottles of water for his post-race recovery??

- When/why did Sky abolish Soigneurs and hire carers? (Probably not becuse I think it's a funny name).


I suspect that Sky are trying to make the distinction between the old-school soigneurs who were responsible for nutrition, massage, injuries, medical matters ( making sure that rider's did not mistakenly take anything positive )etc etc and the new structures where teams have chiropractors, nutritionists, doctors etc.
I'm glad that I was a soigneur when it was a bit more than carrying bidons and wiping off embrocation.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Johnny Faro on July 02, 2017, 09:17:11 pm
I'm surprised that some unheard of watch company has main sponsorship od itv4 coverage. Doesn't say a lot for perceived viewing figures
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: rob on July 02, 2017, 09:29:58 pm
I'm surprised that some unheard of watch company has main sponsorship od itv4 coverage. Doesn't say a lot for perceived viewing figures

Watchfinder is where collectors go to spend a few grand on a flash timepiece.   I found it a bit more indicative of the average road/sportive rider these days.   Disposable budgets in the sport are a little different these days.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Vince on July 02, 2017, 11:25:41 pm
Comments on Stage 1&2, in descending importance:

- When/why did Sky abolish Soigneurs and hire carers? (Probably not becuse I think it's a funny name).

Some one at Sky has been reading this? (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=103773.0)

BTW I was listening to the result on the radio and after the stage winner was announced I mentally added 'Also Miaoww'. Damn you Larrington!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: andyoxon on July 03, 2017, 07:58:15 am
Comments on Stage 1&2, in descending importance:
...
- Apparently the various fractures suffered by the prologue riders were "just part of bikeracing", and its "impossible to protect 14km of roads." FFS - there were maybe 8 fast corners. 2 gym-mats rolled-up at the exit of each would have reduced the risk of serious injury by about 70%. A few quid and a couple of man-hours would have been enough to prevent just about *every* injury. HOW many million Euro did Dusseldorf pay for the race??

Have a look at this discussion...  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haLgLaKvAvM    After Valverde crash, TDF must become safer 

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 03, 2017, 08:27:29 am
+1. For the cost of a few bales of hay and a heavier clean-up.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 03, 2017, 10:32:44 am
- Is Froome C really the most news-worthy thing in the race at the mo?

Personally, I think Taylor Phinney's ride yesterday is the highlight so far. After his injury, it looked unlikely that he'd ever ride a bike again, never mind race at the top level. Great to see him back doing what he does best.

Gutsy ride by Yoann Offredo too, considering the year he's had - attacked by a maniac with a baseball bat and box cutter while out training a few months ago.

Quote
- "Watchfinder" - who desnt hear that and immediately put "... General" after it?

 ;D

While we're on the subject, I am already thoroughly sick of the KP nuts ad.

Quote
- Apparently the various fractures suffered by the prologue riders were "just part of bikeracing", and its "impossible to protect 14km of roads." FFS - there were maybe 8 fast corners. 2 gym-mats rolled-up at the exit of each would have reduced the risk of serious injury by about 70%. A few quid and a couple of man-hours would have been enough to prevent just about *every* injury. HOW many million Euro did Dusseldorf pay for the race??

Two things:
1. Over 190 riders made it through that bend without falling off. These are hugely experienced riders who know how to ride safely in the wet. Gilbert and Porte both made comments in their post-race interviews about being cautious and living to fight another day. Surely there's too much at stake to be taking risks on a short opening TT? Froome did a recce of the course in the team car as it followed Kiryienka and it clearly paid off. His time may have been "unexciting" but it was exciting enough to give him a gap on all his main rivals. It's not like Valverde was unaware of the conditions or had any excuse not to know where the dangerous parts of the course were by the time he set off. His crash was entirely of his own making. It's possible that padding/hay bales on the bend might have mitigated his injuries but riders need to take some responsibility for their own safety. If you look at the video of Durbridge's crash, it's terrifying just how fast he was going into that bend. Insane.
2. Are you absolutely sure that the injuries were all caused by hitting the barrier rather than by hitting the road?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 03, 2017, 10:54:51 am
Maybe if they'd all been wearing helmets.

Oh! Hang on...  ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: andyoxon on July 03, 2017, 11:40:01 am

[...]

Two things:
1. Over 190 riders made it through that bend without falling off. These are hugely experienced riders who know how to ride safely in the wet. Gilbert and Porte both made comments in their post-race interviews about being cautious and living to fight another day. Surely there's too much at stake to be taking risks on a short opening TT? Froome did a recce of the course in the team car as it followed Kiryienka and it clearly paid off. His time may have been "unexciting" but it was exciting enough to give him a gap on all his main rivals. It's not like Valverde was unaware of the conditions or had any excuse not to know where the dangerous parts of the course were by the time he set off. His crash was entirely of his own making. It's possible that padding/hay bales on the bend might have mitigated his injuries but riders need to take some responsibility for their own safety. If you look at the video of Durbridge's crash, it's terrifying just how fast he was going into that bend. Insane.
2. Are you absolutely sure that the injuries were all caused by hitting the barrier rather than by hitting the road?

Yebbut, shirley cushioning barriers, as provided in F1 (not that I watch it or am inviting too close a comparison) are there to provide a safer zone in certain areas should someone happen slide off, albeit a relatively infrequent occurrence.  Vv did actually hit the barrier.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fimm on July 03, 2017, 12:36:46 pm
These commentaries are very amusing (if slightly bizarre  ??? ) but what is the story behind them? I feel like I am missing an important cultural reference (a bit like the time my mother came out with a line about being "the only gay person in the village" and then had to tell me about the Little Britain sketch...)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 03, 2017, 12:44:19 pm
I am already thoroughly sick of the KP nuts ad.

If you are going to take a fussy elephant to a party, you should take your own bloody nuts with you.  :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 03, 2017, 12:56:57 pm
The Vauxhall Slummy Mummy one repeatedly shown on Saturday made me want to go out and commit mass murder, as the poet sang.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 03, 2017, 12:58:40 pm
If you are going to take a fussy elephant to a party, you should take your own bloody nuts with you.  :demon:

Exactly!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 03, 2017, 01:06:09 pm
Oi, SD Millar!  P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nz used a Chanel 9 gag yesterday so enough already with your "Scorchio" nonse.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: MikeFromLFE on July 03, 2017, 01:06:20 pm
Are there more adverts this year, or are they just a /lot/ more annoying (and that's from a family that only ever record the highlights and fast-forward through the ads)


Tapatalk puts this signature here, not me!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 03, 2017, 01:26:28 pm
Are there more adverts this year, or are they just a /lot/ more annoying (and that's from a family that only ever record the highlights and fast-forward through the ads)

Yes and yes.

Come the day I lead the panzers whatever heavy armour the UK can still scrape together down Whitehall, I will be sparing the political and shyster castes from being sent to the camps.

Until I have finished with the covfefe-snorting "creative" types who infest advertising agencies, that is.  :demon:


P.S. - For the benefit of GCHQ, the above contains traces of LIE.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 03, 2017, 01:28:03 pm
Yebbut, shirley cushioning barriers, as provided in F1 (not that I watch it or am inviting too close a comparison) are there to provide a safer zone in certain areas should someone happen slide off, albeit a relatively infrequent occurrence.  Vv did actually hit the barrier.

Yebbut² you're not going to do a rerun of Le Mans 1955 with a mere bicycle; and as far as the riders are concerned, F1 is about cars and drivers, not those pestilential cyclists.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fimm on July 03, 2017, 02:20:31 pm
Part of one of the Giro TTs really was on an F1 circuit (the Milan one)...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 03, 2017, 03:19:13 pm
And they took in part of Spa today.  Flat through Eau Rouge.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Clare on July 03, 2017, 04:36:52 pm
Crazy!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 03, 2017, 04:38:57 pm
I'm looking forward to the interview with Peter Crazy Sagan  :P
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 03, 2017, 05:09:51 pm
I wonder if Sagan broke his power meter!! Insane finish
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 03, 2017, 05:13:52 pm
I'm looking forward to the interview with Peter Crazy Sagan  :P

Ski goggles! What a wacky funster.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 03, 2017, 05:26:18 pm
Stage 3: Liège->Longwy

N Boulting:O hai! TV’s *** Boulting here. U like mi SNO globe?
SD Millar:O hai, ***! I see ur SNO globe and raise u teh packet ov Fisherman’s Friends! Game theory! Who will launch teh futile break today, eh?
N Boulting:GV Avermaet.
SD Millar:Nope.
N Boulting:TD Gendt. PT Voeckler.
SD Millar:No.
N Boulting:Bill Brewer, Jan Stewer, Michael Matthews, Peter Gurney, Peter Davy, John Degenkolb, Dan'l Whiddon, Harry teh Hawk.
SD Millar:No. No, not them either.
N Boulting:That German bloke with teh apparent teeth?
SD Millar:We haz a winner! Lunch?
N Boulting:Lunch! Here are TV’s M Smith and not-TV’s M McNally 2 entertain u while Super D and I stuff our faces with yummy nosh!
M Smith:Ta, Super D. I am joined. By M McNally. Who is a. Scouser.
M McNally:Greetings and werl dey do dere dough don’t dey!
M Smith:What did he. Just say?
M McNally:Calm down calm down our Mattie eh!
M Smith:Y Offredo hard. Or what?
M McNally:Werl, dat’s just ‘ow dey say “’ello” in Toxteth, eh, eh!
M Smith:What did he. Just say?
CD Coulthard:Och aye teh noo, muthafukkas! TV’s Crazy D Coulthard here. Jus’ wanna say “flat through Eau Rouge”, bruv! RISPEK and, indeed, Word, innit!
M Smith:What did he. Just say?
CP Sagan:This ^^^^.
Post-lunch…
N Boulting:Tell us about teh Monks ov Stavelot, Super D!
SD Millar:(Improvising desperately) They had a hit in 1979 with “Nice Legs, Shame About Teh Face”. Big in Canada1. Is it Halifax?
N Boulting:No. No, they did not. And no, it isn’t Halifax either.
SD Millar:Arse!
After coffee, mints and snifter ov Armagnac…
N Boulting:…and teh second-highest point in Luxembourg. Sometimes I hate this job!
SD Millar:Cheer up, ***! Look, a metal chamber orchestra on a roundabout!
D Tröll:Metal chamber orchestra? That’s us, Dream Tröll, Leeds’ premier Metal Mayhem MerchantsTM, that is2! Endorsed by teh Labour Party3! Buy our record!
N Farage:If they start playing I’m going 2 write 2 my MEP!
Omnes:Piss off, expense-fiddling racist fist magnet!!1!
After a nice cup ov tea and a sit down…
N Boulting: …intermediate sprint! Tessa Pollitt!
SD Millar:Even I, like any fule, kno she played bass in Teh Slits, ***!
N Boulting:Soz. Easy mistake 2 make. Look, cows!
SD Millar:Game Theory! Hic!
Later…
M Smith:Your prediction 4. Teh podium in. Paris, M McNally?
M McNally:C Froome, I Montoya N Quintana, J Birdsong, eh. His mum was in Teh Supremes4 eh.
J Birdsong:I’m gonna make u love me! Oh, yes I will. Yes I will!
M Smith:Blimey I understood. That.
Later…
N Brown:O hai! I am N Brown and I am made ov teh Win! Teh spottyjumper will be mine all mine oh yes!
N Politt:O hai! I am N Politt, and not T Pollitt, and I am made ov slightly less Win. Arse!
SD Millar:…and Luxembourg has more castles per unit area than anywhere else in Europe. TV’s A Schleck told me!
A Schleck:He’s right, u know!
Much later…
N Boulting:And now TV’s M Rendall, polyglot cleverclogs.
M Rendall:Auch tellim Lúxembourgish bunnywunnies l’histõire ciclisšimo blong our Lucieñ ćlubski. Autogizmo!
SD Millar:That’s easy 4 u 2 say!
Omnes:So, not much happening, then?
ML Maire:No. No, there is not.
Some time later…
TD Gendt:O hai! I am TD Gendt and I am made ov teh Win! Wot u say teh couple ov hours ago, SD Millar, u grate ponce?
SD Millar:Teh pelican is a very big powerful cat!
M Kitteh:No, SD Millar. That is me. Also, miaow!
SD Attenborough: What did he just say?
When SD Millar is through with his orgone accumulator…
TD Gendt:Arse!
SD Millar:Game Theory, innit!
N Boulting:Reboot! See, I haz new word 2!
Omnes:And here’s a three-fingered salute 4 you, ***!
L Calmejane:O hai! I am L Calmejane and I am made ov teh Win! Make a joke about me having teh gurl’s names and I will kill u utterly 2 DETH!
Omnes:…teh meanest thing that he ever did was before he left, he went and named me "Lilian", lol!
L Calmejane:I warned u! I fukn’ warned u! Oh, I haz been caught, like a Treen in a disabled spaceship! Arse!
N Boulting:Quickstep have floored it roffle!
Omnes:That falls below teh minimum standard as laid down in ur contract., ***. U will not be paid 4 it.
R Porte:O g’day! I am R Porte and 4 once am demonstrating some Winnitude! Oh.
GV Avermaet:O hai! GV Avermaet here and in case u forgot I pwned teh Olympic Road Race! Oh.
M Matthews:O h… oh.
CP Sagan:What is pressure ha ha and, moreover, lol! I told u I was Crazy!!1!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 03, 2017, 05:35:53 pm
Now that was a finish and a half :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: quixoticgeek on July 03, 2017, 06:00:36 pm
Now that was a finish and a half :)

Happened on a bar showing tdf on the big screen today. Fantastic finish!

Actually watching it rather than following by radio/text, I think I'm gonna have to do a print out of all the different jerseys so I can work out which is which...

J
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: David Martin on July 03, 2017, 06:17:12 pm
Comments on Stage 1&2, in descending importance:
...
- Apparently the various fractures suffered by the prologue riders were "just part of bikeracing", and its "impossible to protect 14km of roads." FFS - there were maybe 8 fast corners. 2 gym-mats rolled-up at the exit of each would have reduced the risk of serious injury by about 70%. A few quid and a couple of man-hours would have been enough to prevent just about *every* injury. HOW many million Euro did Dusseldorf pay for the race??

Have a look at this discussion...  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=haLgLaKvAvM    After Valverde crash, TDF must become safer 



Wonder if C Boardman has an opinion on wet prologues and accidents.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ivo on July 03, 2017, 06:23:52 pm
+1. For the cost of a few bales of hay and a heavier clean-up.

There were multiple cleanups, one of the main organisers rode the stretch on his own bike several times to check it. Apparantly this part of the road is used by cars to drive uphill to the bridge, so a lot rubber and some oil on the road. Plus super-slick German asfalt with hardly any grip.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 03, 2017, 06:56:56 pm
I'm looking forward to the interview with Peter Crazy Sagan  :P

Ski goggles! What a wacky funster.

Ski goggles round your neck? Totally normal behaviour if you're Peter Sagan  :P
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 03, 2017, 07:01:23 pm
He'd obviously heard, and misunderstood, TV's Super D Millar referring to B Hinault winning Liège-Bastogne-Liège in a snowstorm.  Or he's crazy.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 03, 2017, 08:51:39 pm
Obelix's Razor - Everything can be explained by the people involved being crazy.  ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: David Martin on July 03, 2017, 09:12:47 pm
I'm looking forward to the interview with Peter Crazy Sagan  :P

Ski goggles! What a wacky funster.

Ski goggles round your neck? Totally normal behaviour if you're Peter Sagan  :P
They are motocross goggles, not ski goggles.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 03, 2017, 09:19:26 pm
He’s crazy alright, but in this instance he’s paid to be crazy (http://www.ride100percent.com/news/100percent-peter-sagan-join-forces/).
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 03, 2017, 09:26:09 pm
I'm looking forward to the interview with Peter Crazy Sagan  :P

Ski goggles! What a wacky funster.

Ski goggles round your neck? Totally normal behaviour if you're Peter Sagan  :P
They are motocross goggles, not ski goggles.


What. Ever. Totally normal then....
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 04, 2017, 10:04:26 am
They are motocross goggles, not ski goggles.

Yes, I was put right on that matter by Lionel Birnie on the Cycling Podcast this morning. I wouldn't know the difference, tbh, being neither a skier nor a motocrosser.

He’s crazy alright, but in this instance he’s paid to be crazy (http://www.ride100percent.com/news/100percent-peter-sagan-join-forces/).

That doesn't sound so crazy to me - more like a sound business decision on his part.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 04, 2017, 10:10:54 am
CP Sagan did mention the nature of the goggles when interviewed by TV's M Rendall but I think you had to watch the highlights programme for that as the live coverage overran as usual and there's no-one at ITV4 with sufficient mastery of the SCIENCE to push the right button at the right time to tell PVRs when to stop.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 04, 2017, 01:29:32 pm
How disappointing is it to hear that TV's *** Boulting and Super D Millar have been lunching on hot dogs and sauerkraut?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 04, 2017, 01:46:15 pm
That's what they want you to think, sheeple!  ;)

According to the unverifiable anonymous source that I share with Seymour Hersh, they actually had confit de canard and gratin dauphinoise for lunch today.
.
.
.

The above may contain traces of LIE.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Basil on July 04, 2017, 04:19:13 pm
Ooh.  Ow.  Nasty.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 04, 2017, 04:20:17 pm
That looked a bit too crazy for comfort!  Hope Cav's OK but it looks nasty :'(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 04, 2017, 04:22:35 pm
Bastard Sagan.

Cav got over the line, though.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 04, 2017, 04:23:50 pm
Looks like Sagan pushed Cav into the barriers. Nasty.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 04, 2017, 04:24:27 pm
Bastard Sagan.

Cav got over the line, though.

Just before the break, Gary Imlach said something about Sagan using choice language towards Greipel...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 04, 2017, 04:27:04 pm
Fr. commentators putting it 50/50 between Sagan and Cav: what Sagan did was "normal" for a sprint and Cav was trying to get through a space that wasn't wide enough.

Sagan strikes me as a cocky bugger, but what do I know?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 04, 2017, 04:28:31 pm
Highlights should be interesting! Due to work I missed it all completely! Looks like they were out to get British riders! Bastards!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 04, 2017, 04:37:56 pm
Ouch!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 04, 2017, 04:39:32 pm
Bastard Sagan.

Cav got over the line, though.

Just before the break, Gary Imlach said something about Sagan using choice language towards Greipel...

Other way round, I think.  CP Sagan was asked what Greipel was miffed about and said "You'll have to ask him".
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 04, 2017, 04:45:55 pm
You get a fairly good view from here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4atl-3Njwg (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4atl-3Njwg)

Looks to me like sagan was moving out with the rest of them, Cav was trying to sneak past, didn't move out, got clipped. Yes, Sagan's elbow was moving out a bit, but only with the rhythm of his pedalling (ie he was swinging out with his other elbow as well just as much).

Overtaking rider needs to ensure there is room to get through, sorry Cav

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 04:48:52 pm
Interview with Cav does not sound good for him to continue and while ITV4 crew were very politically correct I note there was ample space to the left of Sagan to allow him to move over. Perhaps Greipal was berating him for his poor skills and putting Cav into the barrier rather than sit-up.  Clearly Cav is not impressed with Sagan.  Highlights should be interesting.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 04:57:02 pm
Between 53-55s of the YouTube clip you can see Cav is on the wheel of AD and would have followed that wheel had Sagan not tried to get on AD's wheel and effectively barged into him. Oceans of space on Sagan's left but he tried to jump on AD's wheel and in doing so took Cav out.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 04, 2017, 05:12:24 pm
Stage 4: Mondorf-les-Bains->Vittel

D Friebe:O hai! I am TV’s D Friebe and I am made ov teh Wood Win! Here is M Cavendish 2 tell u Stuffs!
M Cavendish:O hai! I am M Cavendish and, although made ov 100% pure Win, I am teh New! IMPROVED!!1! M Cavendish and am mellow about not pwning teh stage. Far out, man!
G Imlach:O hai! I am TV’s G Imlach and know 0 less than zero about teh Château de Preisch. Here is 1 ov TV’s C Boardmen 2 tell u Stuffs!
NC Boardman:O hai! It is I, TV’s Nice C Boardman! A Greipel. M Cavendish. M Kitteh. (Improvises desperately) CP Sagan inna welder’s mask anna gimp suit! Wind!
N Boulting:O hai! Schengen! Bit ov political Stuffs there, Mrs Thatch, mi name’s TV’s B Elton, goodnight!
N Farage:Stop that! STOP THAT!!1! We’ve taken back control, remember! U fascist, communist wreckers should all be shot!
Omnes:Sod off, u one-issue capitalist running dog! Teh East is Red!
SD Millar:Today I are talking mostly about ancient history. Bradley Wiggins.
GV Keirhardie:O hai! I am GV Keirhardie! 1 hundred and twenty-five years ago today mi grate-grandfather was elected 2 Parliament1. Where TF is everyone?
N Boulting:Super D and I are still here, but not 4 long. Lunch beckoneth!
Grams: WHOOOOOOSH!
M Smith:O hai today I. Am joined by K. House why is C. P Sagan so made. Ov teh Win?
Omnes:K House? Who he?
K House:O hai! I am K House. I should be spending teh Fourth ov July setting off fireworks, drinking Jack and getting maudlin about Old Glory2, not sitting in a cupboard in That London with a northern Australopethicus, if such a thing is not an oxymoron3. CP Sagan? He’s crazy!
Omnes:U were better when u were played by TV’s H Laurie!
GV Keirhardie:Where TF is everyone?
M Smith:Thank u K House. And now a live. Update from R Hammond. No, teh other R. Hammond.
R Hammond:Mmfmmmfpmmpppppmpmmfffmmmfp mfpmpppmfmffmmfppfpfmfmpmpppff pfmppfpffpmp pfmmffmpp mfpmmmfmp ppfppmpppmfffmmmfpmmmppmmmppmfmppfmm pmfppfpppmfm fmpmpppffppm mmfmmmpff pfmmmmpffpmp! 4 sure!
M Smith:Thank u 4 ur. Fascinating insight there R. Hammond what did he. Just say?
GV Keirhardie:Where TF is everyone?
A good deal later…
K House:…and I saw a giraffe!
M Smith:Sometimes I hate this. Job!
K House:Big Lebowski!
GV Keirhardie:Where TF is everyone?
Omnes:Bridge, bridge!!1!
C Lion:w00t!
M Smith:Look, see, a field ov wheat!
T Mayhemhem:w00t! By teh Power ov Mayskull!!1!
A Loathesome:Stop that! STOP THAT!!1! U spud-hoarding rabble! Oh, if only there was a war on! I could have u unpatriotic twat batons shot!
After teh Party Political Broadcast…
GV Keirhardie:Where TF is everyone?
TD Gendt:Behind u!
SD Millar:Game Theory! Hic!
N Boulting:Semi-permeable membrane!
GV Keirhardie:Where TF is everyone?
N Boulting:And now Jackanory, with N Farage’s worst nightmare, TV’s M Rendall.
M Rendall:Ańćestœr sinkt rėgênbogën nambæwań pikinini Rik vān Lòóy jai guru ðeva om! Isoglass Garden Wood!
After everyone’s afternoon nap4
GV Keirhardie:Where TF is everyone?
N Boulting:Look! A funny sheeps! Ignorance is bliss!
A Sheep:I’ll have u know, ***, that I haz a Ph.D in Quantum Chromodynamics and yet u stereotype me as a mindless ovine who doesn’t even know he’s been painted wif teh spottyjumper! Your all gay!
N Boulting:Did u spike mi afternoon covfefe, Super D?
In due course…
SD Millar:(Indicates pogoing Frenchmen with punk rock electric guitars) Oi, oi! What’s goin’ on ‘ere?
P Frenchmen:(2 teh approximate tune ov “Seven Nation Army”) Oh, Jeremy Corbyn!
C Richard:If this was Wmbldn I could have u shot!
J White:I didn’t get paid 4 that, y’know!
GV Keirhardie:Where TF is everyone?
Finally…
N Boulting:Teh sprinters’ teams are getting their ducks in a row.
A Duck:Eff off, ***! Got any bread?
N Boulting:Reboot!
GV Keirhardie:What kept u?
CP Sagan:We stopped 4 teh three-course lunch. Om nom nom nom crazy!
M Kitteh:I had fish! Also, miaow!
SD Millar:Firepower! Horsepower! Horses on fire! Findus lasagne!
M Kitteh:WTF? And not miaow at all.
G Thomas:WTF?
M Cavendish:WTF?
CP Sagan:(Uncharacteristic reticence)
A Demare:O hai! Merci, bonne chance et vive la France!
Omnes:So, typical flat stage then?
ML Maire:Yes. Yes, it was. Well, up 2 teh last ten seconds anyway.

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 04, 2017, 05:20:52 pm
Sagan's been relegated to 115th on the stage (i.e. to back of the bunch credited with the winner's time), and given a 30 second time penalty.

Before being penalised, the results on the show had him at 2nd, 7 seconds off G courtesy of the time bonus (also stripped), now he's 43 seconds back.

http://www.letour.fr/le-tour/2017/us/classifications.html

Edit - looks like he's had a load of green jersey points stripped as well - he's being shown as only having 15 now.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 05:40:08 pm
Guess somebody agrees with me then!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: andyoxon on July 04, 2017, 05:52:15 pm
Interviews on here: http://www.itv.com/tourdefrance
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 04, 2017, 06:03:57 pm
http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/peter-sagan-disqualified-tour-de-france-339582?utm_content=manual&utm_campaign=socialflow&utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_term=cyclingweekly#cVlGBFMjIppF7A54.99

wow!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Oaky on July 04, 2017, 06:04:05 pm
Live.cyclingnews.com has reported Sagan DQed just now.

You are in a maze of twisty flat droves, all alike.

85.4 miles from Marsh Gibbon

Audax Club Mid-Essex Fire Safety Officer
http://acme.bike

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 04, 2017, 06:09:24 pm
They're not afraid to make decisions, unlike in F1. I think it is the right decision, given the trajectory of Sagan where he didn't leave any space for Cav, and then attempted use of his elbow.

Opens up the Green jersey competition somewhat. I'm not even sure I know who the likely contenders will be, given Sagan was such a dead cert.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 04, 2017, 06:10:11 pm
Todays winner, nearly takes out someone else when he zigzags around. Good helicopter view here - https://twitter.com/manueltorresanz/status/882284567213821952
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 04, 2017, 06:11:16 pm
Danish tweet said that Cav's hood got under Sagan underarm, that might explain the elbow more.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 04, 2017, 06:12:43 pm
Opens up the Green jersey competition somewhat. I'm not even sure I know who the likely contenders will be, given Sagan was such a dead cert.

Matthews vs Demare, I reckon. They can both contest the flat sprints and the hillier finishes.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 04, 2017, 06:15:08 pm
I'm wondering if there are other incidents taken into consideration, because I'd seen comments in a thread elsewhere that Sagan had used his elbows on Greipel in the intermediate sprint yesterday. Word is that he also triggered the crash that G was caught in...

Quote
Roger Hammond @rog10: Causes a big crash at 1.5 to go. elbows elbows fellow competitor in the head 300 meters...can only result in one decision. #Goodbye
https://twitter.com/rog10/status/882275129400676352
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 04, 2017, 06:28:11 pm
Todays winner, nearly takes out someone else when he zigzags around.

Nacer Bouhanni.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 04, 2017, 06:31:19 pm
Cav broken shoulder .... :(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 04, 2017, 06:45:40 pm
https://u.nya.is/jdkpym.mp4

Video of first crash that Sagan was near. To me it looks like someone drifted over into him but he stayed up as he is stronger and better at handling his bike.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 04, 2017, 06:50:17 pm
The slowmo and the overhead shot actually make it look really clear and damning. I take back what I said before. In the overhead shot Sagan's elbow looks to make contact with Cav's jaw and it is a really deliberate shove, if not a blow.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 06:55:11 pm
Check tweet from Roger Hammond (5.29pm) from this article:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/cycling/2017/07/04/tour-de-france-2017-stage-four-live-race-updates-mark-cavendish/ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/cycling/2017/07/04/tour-de-france-2017-stage-four-live-race-updates-mark-cavendish/)

Clearly shows that Sagan had no need whatsoever to be where he was as there was oceans of space top his left.  Almost looks like he was deliberately barging Cav.  Lots of former pros with not very complimentary words for Sagan and Greipel says Sagan is no longer his friend and he was in a very good position to witness what happened as he looked across realising he was out of contention for the win.

Can't see much sympathy for Sagan within the peleton, although no doubt they will not give true feeling on TV.

Also, if rumours are true that Cav is out, and even his team were speaking in those terms during interviews, then pretty damming for 'Wonder Boy' who has clearly got too big for his boots.  And taking out a rider like that who was possibly able to become the winner of most stages in the TdF is something fellow pros will not support.  Accidents are one thing, Sagan's actions are another.

I wonder how folk in UK would react if he visited there shores on a bike?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 06:58:35 pm
The slowmo and the overhead shot actually make it look really clear and damning. I take back what I said before. In the overhead shot Sagan's elbow looks to make contact with Cav's jaw and it is a really deliberate shove, if not a blow.

Deliberate violent action that could be considered as GBH considering the speed they were travelling and the knowledge that such action would undoubtedly result in bodily harm.

Totally different to the circumstances of the Renshaw head butt.

No doubt Sagan is having quite a lot of reflecting right now.
Title: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 04, 2017, 07:05:21 pm
I've seen the evident and he definitely need to be DQ'd. Outrageous behaviour.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 04, 2017, 07:13:18 pm
He wasn't trying to fling him into the barriers, he was trying to impede him. End result was flinging him into the barriers. Correct decision, nevertheless.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 04, 2017, 07:14:40 pm
Cavendish was an idiot to expect Sagan to just move over and give him enough room to get past along the barriers.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mzjo on July 04, 2017, 07:17:59 pm
I have just seen a flash on "Les Rois de la Pédale" that Sagan has been chucked out of the Tour ("exclu", which means the same thing). The commentators don't seem to have taken note yet (and now Mme Stone wants to watch snooker so that's all I will know).

20H19 It's on Euronews now as well so must be authentic.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 07:23:00 pm
https://u.nya.is/jdkpym.mp4

Video of first crash that Sagan was near. To me it looks like someone drifted over into him but he stayed up as he is stronger and better at handling his bike.

Incident at around 11s and Sagan appears to be going through 2 riders. Six of one and half a dozen of others? Or going for a gap that wasn't there?

Stage winner was almost taken out in that incident.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 07:25:38 pm
Cavendish was an idiot to expect Sagan to just move over and give him enough room to get past along the barriers.

perhaps he was not expecting to be barged into the barrier and elbowed by a rider that was not actually on the sprint line as clearly shown by the Roger Hammond tweet in this article:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/cycling/2017/07/04/tour-de-france-2017-stage-four-live-race-updates-mark-cavendish/ (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/cycling/2017/07/04/tour-de-france-2017-stage-four-live-race-updates-mark-cavendish/)

I think the evidence is fairly conclusive and the correct decision was made.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 07:29:21 pm
He wasn't trying to fling him into the barriers, he was trying to impede him. End result was flinging him into the barriers. Correct decision, nevertheless.

Correct decision indeed and he deliberately impeded him so close to the barrier that it constituted seriously endangering another rider.  All rather silly, unnecessary and totally unprofessional.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 04, 2017, 07:34:48 pm
Perhaps they should put a lot of parallel lines down the finish straight and DQ everybody who crosses a line? Going from behind for a gap that doesn't exist is always going to put you into the barriers.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 07:43:51 pm
Perhaps they should put a lot of parallel lines down the finish straight and DQ everybody who crosses a line? Going from behind for a gap that doesn't exist is always going to put you into the barriers.

Might I suggest you contact those who made the decision to DQ Sagan as I think they disagree with your initial logic as Cav was simply following AD's wheel when Sagan barged and elbowed him so he could have the wheel of AD.  As much as I respect your knowledge and enjoy the company on a ride, I'm afraid we will have to beg to differ on this one and it would appear those making the decision to DQ also beg to differ.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 04, 2017, 07:45:59 pm
Such is life. After all, the commissaires have never been known to make the wrong decision.

In Sagan's position, I'd have done the same thing. Coming up the barriers is never risk-free.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: andyoxon on July 04, 2017, 07:49:18 pm
On 5Live they're saying it's a harsh decision, Sagan was probably trying to 'balance' himself against the 'feel' of the rider to his side (Cav).  Also did the elbow even make contact...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 04, 2017, 07:49:39 pm
Cav did nothing wrong. Just seen it again. Following Demare line was entirely correct.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 04, 2017, 07:56:57 pm
I think a few things happened here, starting with Cavendish running into Sagan and lunging at him to make room where there was never going to be much room. Sagan could have obligingly moved over to let him past, but why should he? It’s a race. Then Sagan’s elbow gets hooked over Cavendish’s bars. By this point, Cavendish is falling into the barriers, dragging Sagan’s elbow out (making it look like Sagan is elbowing him).

Meanwhile, Démare swerves in front of Bouhanni, impeding the latter. Not much comment about that, I notice.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 04, 2017, 07:59:08 pm
Meanwhile, Démare swerves in front of Bouhanni, impeding the latter. Not much comment about that, I notice.
.

You're Chris Boardman and I claim my £5. Cavendish looks distraught :(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 04, 2017, 07:59:58 pm
What did Boardman say? I only get French commentary over here.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 04, 2017, 08:01:21 pm
Here’s Robbie McEwen’s take. (http://www.steephill.tv/players/720/sbs/?title=Robbie+McEwen+analyses+the+Sagan-Cavendish+collision,+Stage+4&dashboard=tour-de-france&id=983158339921&yr=2017)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: asterix on July 04, 2017, 08:02:31 pm
(https://medias.lequipe.fr/img-photo-jpg/le-coup-de-coude-de-peter-sagan-a-cavendish/1500000000833133/0-665-0-70/f6bee.jpg)

That's big elbow!  Right decision IMO.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: David Martin on July 04, 2017, 08:05:25 pm
Cav's clearly on Demare's wheel, Sagan's move would be legitimate if he had left Cav a space to go. He didn't, his move was the dangerous one. Demare was very lucky to get away with that switch through the pack as well.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Chris S on July 04, 2017, 08:10:06 pm
Well, that's a shame. It's less of a spectacle than it was, without those two in it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 04, 2017, 08:12:03 pm
What did Boardman say? I only get French commentary over here.

Said Demare needs to be punished too if decisions was made on consequences rather than direct action at the time.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 04, 2017, 08:22:03 pm
The overhand footage doesn't show too much because they're hidden by a tree when there's contact.

Photos show Cav going down and Sagan's elbow out but with the picture foreshortened it's hard to know how close Sagan's elbow actually is.
Was the elbow out to bash Cav or as a way for Sagan to balance himself? I don't know; IMO probably the latter.

I can agree with Sagan being bumped to last on the stage.

I cannot agree with my being DSQ-ed from the race.

Perhaps they should put a lot of parallel lines down the finish straight and DQ everybody who crosses a line? Going from behind for a gap that doesn't exist is always going to put you into the barriers.

Quite
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 04, 2017, 09:05:10 pm
(https://medias.lequipe.fr/img-photo-jpg/le-coup-de-coude-de-peter-sagan-a-cavendish/1500000000833133/0-665-0-70/f6bee.jpg)

That's big elbow!  Right decision IMO.

I dont think the elbow is anywhere near Cav. The elbow didnt cause the crash. Sagan swerved into him. That's what caused the crash.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Chris S on July 04, 2017, 09:06:51 pm
I dont think the elbow is anywhere near Cav. The elbow didnt cause the crash. Sagan swerved into him. That's what caused the crash.

Not to mention, someone of Cav's experience, ending up against the barrier.

#easyformetosay
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 04, 2017, 09:21:07 pm
From my viewings it's not Sagan's elbow that's the damning evidence, it's the body check he seems to do just as Cav gets an overlap. I know that sprinters move around a lot on their bikes (and I am a dark sided, so what do I know!) but his whole body seems to. I've up and right at just the wrong moment for Cav.
I think it was probably an instinctive defensive movement to something happening in his peripheral vision at a crucial moment for his own move, but he should have moved to his left as it's not as if he was boxed in.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 09:28:29 pm
I dont think the elbow is anywhere near Cav. The elbow didnt cause the crash. Sagan swerved into him. That's what caused the crash.

While discussing the matter might help while away the evening, the fact is no matter what folk on YACF may think or believe, the Jury has decided, with the benefit of recorded evidence, that the actions of Sagan were sufficient to warrant a DQ.  Cav appears to believe Sagan's elbow action was unnecessary and wishes to speak to him on the matter.  Sagan is out and very likely Cav will be out which, as Chris S, has posted, makes the TdF less of a spectacle.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: quixoticgeek on July 04, 2017, 09:29:14 pm
That's rather harsh to go for a full DSQ. Tho I think I can see why.

I hope Cav recovers fast.

Certainly going to be an interesting tour!

J
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 04, 2017, 09:36:08 pm
I dont think the elbow is anywhere near Cav. The elbow didnt cause the crash. Sagan swerved into him. That's what caused the crash.

While discussing the matter might help while away the evening, the fact is no matter what folk on YACF may think or believe, the Jury has decided, with the benefit of recorded evidence, that the actions of Sagan were sufficient to warrant a DQ.  Cav appears to believe Sagan's elbow action was unnecessary and wishes to speak to him on the matter.  Sagan is out and very likely Cav will be out which, as Chris S, has posted, makes the TdF less of a spectacle.

Yeah I think we all realise that the race jury probably isn't busy checking Yacf to see what they should have done.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Jakob on July 04, 2017, 09:43:17 pm
https://streamable.com/j7gqb

When I first saw the overhead shot, the elbow looked extremely blatant and I agreed with the decision, but this makes it a lot more muddled. A DQ is too harsh.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 09:54:13 pm
Yeah I think we all realise that the race jury probably isn't busy checking Yacf to see what they should have done.

Correct!  They have to make decisions that will have a significant affect on both riders, sponsors and the overall spectacle that is the TdF, while we can all idly speculate without too many ramifications on what happened and what action should or should not have resulted.  Don't even have to visit a pub for the inevitable 'couple of pints and a packet of crisps' discussion.  Oh the joy of technology!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: trekker12 on July 04, 2017, 10:16:07 pm
The cynic in me would like to point out that two significant entrants in the green jersey contest are out of the way and a Frenchman got a stage win and lots of points
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 04, 2017, 10:26:21 pm
The cynic in me would like to point out that two significant entrants in the green jersey contest are out of the way and a Frenchman got a stage win and lots of points

Monsieur Chauvin, le Commissaire: Vous pourriez penser cela, mais je ne pourrais pas faire de commentaires!  :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Vince on July 04, 2017, 10:27:05 pm
I dont think the elbow is anywhere near Cav. The elbow didnt cause the crash. Sagan swerved into him. That's what caused the crash.

While discussing the matter might help while away the evening, the fact is no matter what folk on YACF may think or believe, the Jury has decided, with the benefit of recorded evidence, that the actions of Sagan were sufficient to warrant a DQ.  Cav appears to believe Sagan's elbow action was unnecessary and wishes to speak to him on the matter.  Sagan is out and very likely Cav will be out which, as Chris S, has posted, makes the TdF less of a spectacle.

Yeah I think we all realise that the race jury probably isn't busy checking Yacf to see what they should have done.
Their loss! ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 04, 2017, 10:30:17 pm
Would be interesting to hear what cav has to say.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: P Walsh on July 04, 2017, 10:37:17 pm
Seen this from above and front and the more I see it the more it looks like Sagan forcing Cav into the barriers. And Boardman got it wrong. A zoomed in slo-mo from the front on the BBC news shows Sagan closing the space for Cav down to next to nothing, his elbow coming out to make sure, and Cav crashing, in that order. The jury must have seen the same footage. It does look really bad and it does look deliberate.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ham on July 04, 2017, 10:40:38 pm
https://streamable.com/j7gqb

When I first saw the overhead shot, the elbow looked extremely blatant and I agreed with the decision, but this makes it a lot more muddled. A DQ is too harsh.

Interesting vid. From where I'm sitting, for the duration of the [start of the] vid Cav is in a straight line and Sagan moves into him. The action has taken place before the "commentary" (Cav's head). It does look like the rest is all about Sagan staying up on the bike though. Difficult to measure the precise angle from my armchair, but I won't let that stop me.

(X Post with P Walsh)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: toontra on July 04, 2017, 10:46:00 pm
There are two moves of Sagan's elbow.  The first (smaller one) may be involuntary balancing, but the second (larger) is deliberate blocking.  Sagan is an asshole - a talented cyclist but an asshole (as witnessed by his podium groping).

The judges have been braver than the pundits (including Boardman) who I think are giving him the benefit of the doubt because their job depends partly on having a working relationship with the world's best=paid cyclist.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 04, 2017, 10:46:16 pm
Cav definitely out: http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cycling/40499580  Not that should be a surprise.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 04, 2017, 10:54:23 pm
Very sad news, but no surprise as all the 'mood music' from both him and the team was that he was going to be out.

There are two moves of Sagan's elbow.  The first (smaller one) may be involuntary balancing, but the second (larger) is deliberate blocking.  Sagan in an asshole - a talented cyclist but an asshole (as witnessed by his podium groping).

And I think his goggles yesterday gives an inkling into a certain degree of immaturity.  Brilliant rider, but still with a lot to learn.

The judges have been braver than the pundits (including Boardman) who I think are giving him the benefit of the doubt because their job depends partly on having a working relationship with the world's best=paid cyclist.

I agree, although Sean Kelly did not hold back on his condemnation of Sagan.

Plenty of time now for Sagan to discuss new kitchen with team sponsor.

Plenty of time for Cav to reflect on what might have been, both today and later, if Sagan had not barged into him and effectively taken him down.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: quixoticgeek on July 04, 2017, 10:56:15 pm

If nothing else, it's a nice change to have someone kicked out for something other than a drug test...

J
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Somnolent on July 04, 2017, 11:27:52 pm
Plenty of time now for Sagan to discuss new kitchen with team sponsor.
Well I hope Eurosport pull those fatuous adverts.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Jakob on July 04, 2017, 11:33:58 pm
There are two moves of Sagan's elbow.  The first (smaller one) may be involuntary balancing, but the second (larger) is deliberate blocking.  Sagan in an asshole - a talented cyclist but an asshole (as witnessed by his podium groping).

The judges have been braver than the pundits (including Boardman) who I think are giving him the benefit of the doubt because their job depends partly on having a working relationship with the world's best=paid cyclist.

The larger elbow movement is after Cav is already going down and has nothing to do with Cav falling. The move across was clearly too much, but the elbow is not a factor at all...and hey, it's nothing that Cav himself wouldn't have done :p.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: toontra on July 04, 2017, 11:55:37 pm
The larger elbow movement is after Cav is already going down and has nothing to do with Cav falling. The move across was clearly too much, but the elbow is not a factor at all...and hey, it's nothing that Cav himself wouldn't have done :p.

Sagan can't possibly have known that Cav was going to crash in the timescale that it all happened, so the intent was to block him. Why jerk your elbow out otherwise?  That's what matters - the intent.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: andrew_s on July 05, 2017, 01:21:24 am
Said Demare needs to be punished too if decisions was made on consequences rather than direct action at the time.
I don't have a problem with Demare. Switching across in front of someone who you've just overtaken, and who is therefore going slower than you are, seems OK to me, and fairly risk free, provided you know where your back wheel is. It has the advantage of putting anyone who's on your wheel in the wind.
The problem arises when someone else passes the overtakee on the other side with the same idea, and you meet in the middle (see Cav and Haussler, TdS 2010 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-RNAYR3KPIg))
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Jakob on July 05, 2017, 01:29:03 am
The larger elbow movement is after Cav is already going down and has nothing to do with Cav falling. The move across was clearly too much, but the elbow is not a factor at all...and hey, it's nothing that Cav himself wouldn't have done :p.

Sagan can't possibly have known that Cav was going to crash in the timescale that it all happened, so the intent was to block him. Why jerk your elbow out otherwise?  That's what matters - the intent.

Erhh,no.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 05, 2017, 02:05:02 am
Plenty of time now for Sagan to discuss new kitchen with team sponsor.
Well I hope Eurosport pull those fatuous adverts.

During the last but one foopball World Cup ITV were running a mobile phone ad featuring Wayne Rooney long after En-ger-lund had arrived, to public derision, back at Heathrow, so I doubt it.

Remarkably sanguine reaction from the New! IMPROVED!!1! M Cavendish, all things considered.  Cav v1.0 would have been using his one good arm to hurl toys in all directions.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 05, 2017, 05:31:49 am
I guess there will always be disagreement. In my opinion, Sagan didn't really do anything wrong. Cav went for a gap that just wasn't there. He has a history of doing that - but fair play to him, he's a sprinter and will take massive risks. Sagan just muscled his way onto the wheel ahead. Cav was already going down when the elbow came out and said elbow was nowhere near him.

Kicking Sagan out of the race is one of most ridiculous decisions in recent years by the commissaires and they have made plenty of them in the past....
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: asterix on July 05, 2017, 07:03:21 am
..

Remarkably sanguine reaction from the New! IMPROVED!!1! M Cavendish, all things considered.  Cav v1.0 would have been using his one good arm to hurl toys in all directions.

Yes, a good performance there, well impressed. Sagan could learn a thing or two about sportsmanship.  They were doing 70km/h FFS.  That elbow was as bad as an over-the-ball or sliding tackle in footie.  Red card for deffo.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: andyoxon on July 05, 2017, 07:23:17 am
If the/an elbow didn't make contact, I wonder why Cav would keep saying in interview that he wanted to speak to PS personally about the "elbow" which he was 'confused about'..?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Relayer on July 05, 2017, 07:24:10 am
https://streamable.com/j7gqb

When I first saw the overhead shot, the elbow looked extremely blatant and I agreed with the decision, but this makes it a lot more muddled. A DQ is too harsh.

Interesting vid. From where I'm sitting, for the duration of the [start of the] vid Cav is in a straight line and Sagan moves into him. The action has taken place before the "commentary" (Cav's head). It does look like the rest is all about Sagan staying up on the bike though. Difficult to measure the precise angle from my armchair, but I won't let that stop me.

(X Post with P Walsh)

I agree with most of this, but it looks to me that Demare starts to move away from the barriers and Cav tries to move out behind him, Sagan at the same time is going towards the barriers ... the two come together but Cav being so much smaller is the one who falls.

I cannot see Sagan's elbow making contact, and I find it hard to believe that Sagan would use his elbow deliberately other than to keep himself upright after conatct was made.

At the end of the day, they were all weaving about all over the place, accidents waiting to happen.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 05, 2017, 07:47:11 am
Are the commissaires from the UCI? With UCI written all over the world champions jersey, there's plenty of room for talk of conflict of interest if Sagan stayed.

Sagan is also good for the Tour's profile, so allegations of pressure from ASO might be made. Sagan is also the best bike handler in the bunch, so his actions are more likely to be seen as intentional.

So his palmares, popularity and skill have worked against him.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: P Walsh on July 05, 2017, 07:55:56 am
..

Remarkably sanguine reaction from the New! IMPROVED!!1! M Cavendish, all things considered.  Cav v1.0 would have been using his one good arm to hurl toys in all directions.

Yes, a good performance there, well impressed. Sagan could learn a thing or two about sportsmanship.  They were doing 70km/h FFS.  That elbow was as bad as an over-the-ball or sliding tackle in footie.  Red card for deffo.

That's right. If sticking an elbow out like that is a bike handling skill it is one that I have never needed. Blatant blocking. If things like that don't get you disqualified cycle racing will look ridiculous. Again.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Relayer on July 05, 2017, 07:59:46 am
If the/an elbow didn't make contact, I wonder why Cav would keep saying in interview that he wanted to speak to PS personally about the "elbow" which he was 'confused about'..?

I wonder why Cav didn't ask Sagan about the elbow when Sagan went over to apologise.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 05, 2017, 08:01:04 am
I look forward to the next sprint finish where everybody at the head of the peloton will be saying, "After you, sir." Because nobody should ever be obstructed from getting to the front and if that means the rider in front moving out of their way, then so be it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: MikeFromLFE on July 05, 2017, 08:24:17 am
Are the commissaires from the UCI? With UCI written all over the world champions jersey, there's plenty of room for talk of conflict of interest if Sagan stayed.

Interesting thought. I think that this decision says more about the commissaries than Sagan. Either -as you say- removing a source of conflict, or they are (trying) to say 'we is hardnow, don't mess with us, rulez is rulez'


Tapatalk puts this signature here, not me!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: asterix on July 05, 2017, 08:34:01 am
Crashes are bad for the image of cycling.  That's a bigger issue than bruised egos.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: P Walsh on July 05, 2017, 08:46:27 am
If the/an elbow didn't make contact, I wonder why Cav would keep saying in interview that he wanted to speak to PS personally about the "elbow" which he was 'confused about'..?

I wonder why Cav didn't ask Sagan about the elbow when Sagan went over to apologise.

Because he was surrounded by noise and the press and had a TV camera in his face and was in pain....
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 05, 2017, 08:58:58 am
In my opinion, the elbow was deliberate. Peter Sagan, in retrospect, I'm certain he regretted it, but doesn't excuse the use of it. He might try to assuage his guilt by explaining how he found himself steering towards the right-hand side but, we've all found ourselves off balance on a bike, and have had to correct it by throwing our body around. However, young mister Sagan was upright, and the elbow was not used to correct an imbalance.

The judges acted correctly, as his action endangered others riders' lives.



Sorry, I omitted to add: "Fact!"
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Russell on July 05, 2017, 09:21:10 am
I keep meaning to ask if anyone can explain the obscure film reference when Ned was holding a water melon during the tech discussion over brakes?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 05, 2017, 09:24:21 am
In my opinion, the elbow was deliberate. Peter Sagan, in retrospect, I'm certain he regretted it, but doesn't excuse the use of it. He might try to assuage his guilt by explaining how he found himself steering towards the right-hand side but, we've all found ourselves off balance on a bike, and have had to correct it by throwing our body around. However, young mister Sagan was upright, and the elbow was not used to correct an imbalance.

The judges acted correctly, as his action endangered others riders' lives.



Sorry, I omitted to add: "Fact!"

It reminds me of Schumacher trying to take Villeneuve out at Jerez in 1997 (https://youtu.be/jJJZBgNK7FA), about 40 seconds into the video.  Schumi lost all his points for the season, IIRC.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 05, 2017, 09:26:25 am
I think it was visual reference to a supporter at the roadside who had an enormous upper region of the body. Sadly, Ned could only lay his hands on one watermelon, and the joke fell flat.


I think that's right. Others may disagree.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: rafletcher on July 05, 2017, 09:39:03 am
In my opinion, the elbow was deliberate. Peter Sagan, in retrospect, I'm certain he regretted it, but doesn't excuse the use of it. He might try to assuage his guilt by explaining how he found himself steering towards the right-hand side but, we've all found ourselves off balance on a bike, and have had to correct it by throwing our body around. However, young mister Sagan was upright, and the elbow was not used to correct an imbalance.

The judges acted correctly, as his action endangered others riders' lives.



Sorry, I omitted to add: "Fact!"

I too think it was the elbow that tipped the balance to the DQ. Up to that point it was just a racing accident/incident, Cav going for a gap, Sagan closing it down, albeit somewhat impetuously. I think for that the relegation / points deduction was sufficient. Yes it was a sprint, yes sprinting is dangerous, but blocking someone into the barriers would be frowned upon, although Cav seem remarkably calm about that, and certainly I don't think there was any malice in what Sagan did, including the elbow. But I can't buy the "elbow as a balance aid". And if Cav had hooked Sagan's arm with his hoods one of other of them would have mentioned it.

ETA: Whatever, the spectacle will be diminished, and Cav was looking good.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: trekker12 on July 05, 2017, 10:01:57 am
I agree with the spectacle comment rafletcher

I think the uci or tdf have scored a significant own goal. Two world champions and star attractions of our sport are gone. Alright falls happen and people get injured. There is not much Cav can do about that but to then boot out the current world champion will make the green jersey contest somewhat meaningless. I think the penalty is too draconian.

The route clearly tried to encourage pure sprinters with more flat finishes than in recent years to give the green jersey some excitement and it seems to me it was all for nothing.

With the 80 point penalty it would have been interesting to see if Sagan tried to come from behind.

We've all been robbed.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 05, 2017, 10:26:30 am
Cav's clearly on Demare's wheel

Yes and no... A few moments before the crash, Cav was very close behind Demare, but it looked to me like Demare was pulling away from him. Never mind the slow motion replays, watching it live as it happened, it was clear that Cav was losing ground, and therefore out of the race even before the crash.

Now, I don't know how close you have to be at that speed for it to count as being 'on the wheel', nor how much of a gap there has to be before it's considered enough space for another rider to move into it, but it was apparently enough of a gap that Sagan didn't see him there when he started to jump across onto Demare's wheel.

As Cav and Sagan came together, there was a bit of a lean from Cav and an elbow out from Sagan. I didn't see any malice in it, just the usual sprinters' argy-bargy with riders fighting for position. Had they not been hard up against the barriers, it might not have ended so badly for Cav. (compare and contrast Bouhanni, who had space to his left to swerve into when Demare cut across him.)

That was my initial reaction when watching it live, and none of the slow motion replays or alternative camera angles have made me change my mind.

I think the DQ is harsh, but I'm glad it wasn't my decision to make - bit of a no-win situation for the jury with so many pundits, DS and riders having their say, all with conflicting opinions.

The cynic in me would like to point out that two significant entrants in the green jersey contest are out of the way and a Frenchman got a stage win and lots of points

The realist in me says that Cav was never a contender for the green jersey in this year's race.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 05, 2017, 10:51:42 am
The realist in me says that Cav was never a contender for the green jersey in this year's race.

No-one was a contender for the green jersey apart from CP Sagan, as long as he actually reached Paris.  I don't think there was any kind of conspiracy on the part of the Blazers, but I'm sure the murkier corners of the internet will be blaming it on a mashup of the Illuminati, MI5 and Erik Zabel before today's rollout.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 05, 2017, 11:11:12 am
No-one was a contender for the green jersey apart from CP Sagan, as long as he actually reached Paris.

Indeed.

Quote
  I don't think there was any kind of conspiracy on the part of the Blazers, but I'm sure the murkier corners of the internet will be blaming it on a mashup of the Illuminati, MI5 and Erik Zabel before today's rollout.

I blame Adboujaparov.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 05, 2017, 12:37:21 pm
I blame Adboujaparov.


Citters? Are you typing with your knuckles again!!?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 05, 2017, 12:42:30 pm
I blame Adboujaparov.


Citters? Are you typing with your knuckles again!!?

If there's a crash in the final few hundred metres, it's usually a safe bet that it's Abdou's fault.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: trekker12 on July 05, 2017, 01:11:05 pm
Or a Gendarme taking photographs
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Clare on July 05, 2017, 01:21:59 pm
Do Watchfinder also sponsor the slow cycling movement?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: David Martin on July 05, 2017, 01:32:10 pm
Cav's clearly on Demare's wheel

Yes and no... A few moments before the crash, Cav was very close behind Demare, but it looked to me like Demare was pulling away from him. Never mind the slow motion replays, watching it live as it happened, it was clear that Cav was losing ground, and therefore out of the race even before the crash.

No, demare had just kicked, would take a wee gap. Sagan did not move in front of Cav, he moved into him sideways and should have seen cav's wheel. There was a gap wide enough for Demare, Sagan moved into cav when Cav was essentially along side, fine when there is space but in this case there was a barrier.

Demare is very lucky to be french and there to be a bigger incident going on as his switching across Bouhanni was outrageous. I'd have relegated him in a chipper race for that. Couldn't believe he got through the gap.

The jury's decision was no doubt coloured by Sagan's riding immediately prior where he had allegedly initiated the crash which brought down the Yellow Jersey. Putting the two together, it was not just the one aberrant move but his overall riding style.

Quote
Now, I don't know how close you have to be at that speed for it to count as being 'on the wheel', nor how much of a gap there has to be before it's considered enough space for another rider to move into it, but it was apparently enough of a gap that Sagan didn't see him there when he started to jump across onto Demare's wheel.

As Cav and Sagan came together, there was a bit of a lean from Cav and an elbow out from Sagan. I didn't see any malice in it, just the usual sprinters' argy-bargy with riders fighting for position. Had they not been hard up against the barriers, it might not have ended so badly for Cav. (compare and contrast Bouhanni, who had space to his left to swerve into when Demare cut across him.)

That was my initial reaction when watching it live, and none of the slow motion replays or alternative camera angles have made me change my mind.

I think the DQ is harsh, but I'm glad it wasn't my decision to make - bit of a no-win situation for the jury with so many pundits, DS and riders having their say, all with conflicting opinions.

The cynic in me would like to point out that two significant entrants in the green jersey contest are out of the way and a Frenchman got a stage win and lots of points

The realist in me says that Cav was never a contender for the green jersey in this year's race.

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 05, 2017, 02:32:37 pm
So far Mick Bennett, TV's C Boardmen, TV's Super D Millar and Bethany (7) have all agreed that chucking CP Sagan off the race completely was a bit harsh.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: David Martin on July 05, 2017, 02:48:45 pm
I think DQ was harsh when there was no penalty for Demare for what was a crazy move.

Probably coloured by the fact that there was a collision resulting in injury.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: asterix on July 05, 2017, 03:32:38 pm
So far Mick Bennett, TV's C Boardmen, TV's Super D Millar and Bethany (7) have all agreed that chucking CP Sagan off the race completely was a bit harsh.

Aye, harsh but fair.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 05, 2017, 04:44:00 pm
I think DQ was harsh when there was no penalty for Demare for what was a crazy move.

Probably coloured by the fact that there was a collision resulting in injury.

Yebbut Demare was moving faster than Nacer B.* and NB had room to evade.

Sprints are bloody dangerous in any case - you have to be crazy to take part. Stampede would be a better word.

* you spell it, I'm tired.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 05, 2017, 05:13:33 pm
Stage 5:   Vittel->La Planche Des Belles Filles

G Imlach:O hai! TV’s G Imlach here with a twinkle in mi eye and a merry quip never far from mi lips! Big news on teh Tour de France is teh disqualibobificationism of CP Sagan after yesterday’s imbroglio!
Omnes:Didn’t she have a hit with “Torn”?
G Imlach:Silence, u quivering Ewoks! TV’s C Boardmen, what say u?
EC Boardman:O hai! I am TV’s Evil C Boardman and personally I think CP Sagan should have been boiled in turpentine and his giblets fed 2 teh Tour’s Pariah Dogs! And A Démare should have Coldplay pumped into his personal radio until he checks himself into hospital!
NC Boardman:Harsh, EC Boardman! I, TV’s Nice C Boardman, say that mi object all sublime I shall achieve in time — 2 let teh punishment fit teh crime — teh punishment fit teh crime. And make each sprinter pent unwillingly represent a source ov innocent merriment, ov innocent merriment! Oh yes!
G Imlach:And WT blithering F does that mean?
NC Boardman:I have absolutely no idea!
Omnes:Yay 4 P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®! U don’t get Gilbert & Sullivan on Eurosport!
D Friebe:O hai! D Friebe here! And now teh thoughts of Chairman Cav!
M Cavendish:(Dignified response in face of having year ruined)
SD Millar:O hai! I am TV’s Super D Millar! Teh commissaires are a bunch of plonkernauts. U liek mi hair?
Omnes:Better than that fukn’ hat u had last year, Super D! Teh one that looked liek an upturned fruit bowl upholstered with teh wallpaper from an Indian restaurant!
G Imlach:Cut! CUT!!1!
Slow dissolve to…
C Prudhomme:(Waves arms) I believe I can fly!
Omnes:Piss off, Orville!
N Boulting:O hai! TV’s *** Boulting welcoming u 2 another day ov châteaux and local delicacies!
SD Millar:O hai! Who shall make teh futile break today, ***?
N Boulting:Actually, Super D, this break may not be so futile after all. P Gilbert, J Bakelite, TD Gendt, M Delage, EB Hagen, DV Baarle, PL Perisher ect ect. And PT Voeckler 4 teh lulz!
PT Voeckler:O hai! In teh absence of CP Sagan I, P’tit T Voeckler, will be providing ur recommended daily intake ov teh Crazy!
EB Hagen:O hai! U may call me B-Dog if it saves electrons!
Omnes:w00t! EB Hagen iz teh gangsta! Roffle!
G Thomas:Piss!
SD Millar:Fake news!
N Boulting:O RLY? Iz a thing?
SD Millar:Yes. Yes, it is.
R Porte:U utter git, G Thomas!
N Boulting:Right, lunch! Here 4 ur viewing plezh are TV’s M Smith and M Bennett!
M Smith:O hai teh break is. Full of riders who have. Pwned teh Tour ov BRITAIN. Which is M Bennett’s race. M Bennett has tentacles everywhere!
M Bennett:Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
M Smith:That’s easy 4 u 2. Say here is R McEwen. 4 ur listening plezh!
R McEwen:(Lengthy rambling about M Cavendish, T Steels, CP Sagan, egg & cress sandwiches, Satan ect ect)
Bethany (7):dere commissaires cp sagan iz not teh bad man & wrongness – u haz it!
R McEwen:I wish I’d said that.
M Bennett:Tour ov BRITAIN!!1!
M Smith:And now certifiable nutter M. Beaumont who is riding round. Teh world in eighty days!
M Beaumont:Wibble!!1!
M Bennett:Tour ov BRITAIN!!1!
(Later…)
M Bennett:Tour ov BRITAIN!!1!
Bethany (7):go away u silly old man!
(Later…)
N Boulting:J Bakelite. Podium girls. Or what? Clicky… (http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/jan-bakelants-apologises-offensive-remarks-podium-girls-337867)
NC Boardman:It’s 2017, FFS!
SD Millar:Meh!
N Boulting:Not podium girls, hostesses!
NC Boardman:Not much better, is it? 2017, FFS!
Bethany (7):Yet another example of teh unequal power relations between women and men whereby women are systematically disadvantaged and oppressed1. It’s 2017, FFS!
Omnes:Bethany (7) 4 PM!
BG Hincapie:That’s no hostess, that’s Mrs BG Hincapie!
(Quite a lot later…)
SD Millar: Today’s word is “cinéma”. CI-NÉ-MA. Cinéma.
(Down teh road a-piece…)
TD Gendt:Arse!
N Boulting:Teh sun is out and so is PT Voeckler’s tongue!
SD Millar:I didn’t spike his covfefe! No. No, I never! Some big boys did it then ran away!
(Enfin…)
SD Millar:…rampy…
Omnes:If that is a word, Super D, it shouldn’t be. Plz 2 get in teh sea!
P Gilbert:O hai! I am P Gilbert and I am made ov teh Win! Right, I iz off! C U l8r, suxx0rz!!1!
J Bakelite:O hai! I am J Bakelite and I am made of patriarchy! Got me johnnies in me pocket lol!
Omnes:Wanker!
R Porte:Work, u dogs!
Team BMC:Wanker!
Team $ky:Hold our BEER!
PL Perisher, PT Voeckler & B-Dog:Piss!
F Aru:Aroooooooo! I’m looking for a place called Lee Ho Fook's. Gonna get a big dish of beef chow mein!
P Gilbert:U forgot mi birthday, u utter git!
J Bakelite:Arse! Back 2 teh happy sock.
Omnes:Wanker!
SD Millar:…and S Yates sitting there with his out-of-the-saddle stylee!
Omnes:U wot?
C Froome:O hai clouds o hai $ky team bus o hai stem! Watch this!
D Martin:U were saying?
N Quintana:O hai! Mi name is I Montoya N Quintana! U killed mi father A Valverde! Prepare 2, er, oh! Bugger!
G Imlach:And now, over 2 multilingual smart-alec M Rendall!
M Rendall:Mi spikim C Froome. U tälibûn qüatre ceńt çoup skubh el BMC do fernakerpans! Boutrosboutrosghali?
C Froome:What did he just say?
F Aru:Aroooooooo! If u want me I’ll be drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's and mi hair will be perfect!
Omnes:Draw blood!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 05, 2017, 09:54:22 pm
Quote
   Yay 4 P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®! U don’t get Gilbert & Sullivan on Eurosport!

There was a bit of Gilbert today, thobut.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 05, 2017, 10:59:24 pm
Omnes: Alles klar, Herr Kommissar!!1! Vielen danke . . .
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Jaded on July 06, 2017, 07:40:19 am
Not sure if a GoPro video (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nBbbpaC9_7g) of a stage has been posted before?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 06, 2017, 09:10:28 am
N Quintana:   O hai! Mi name is I Montoya N Quintana! U killed mi father A Valverde! Prepare 2, er, oh! Bugger!

Ha ha ha! Made me laugh. I got it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 06, 2017, 10:01:46 am
Anyhoo. Podium= Aru/Froome/Martin

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Si S on July 06, 2017, 10:40:44 am
I'm beginning to lose interest, difficult to see any other result than Sky controlling the race all the way to Paris.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 06, 2017, 10:54:23 am
Don't bank on it. They couldn't control Aru yesterday.  Porte's team fucked up.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Si S on July 06, 2017, 11:03:14 am
I think Sky weren't expecting Aru to be so strong, I don't reckon he'll get that sort of freedom again and Astana don't look strong enough to compete with Sky over the distance.

I can sort of understand why BMC rode the way they did, to try and make the race hard enough to tire the Sky train before the climb, they haven't got many other cards to play but with Sky 1 and 2 and EBH 16 secs behind they should have forced Sky to chase it. They don't seem willing to risk losing in order to win.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: trekker12 on July 06, 2017, 11:05:15 am
Also that has been Sky's tactic since day 1 with Wiggins. They have been struggling to do that in recent years which is why Froome required silly banzai downhilling skillz last year. Having now had one of only three hilltop finishes I can't see than controlling much at all really. Especially as Mikel Landa was already struggling. The only Sky rider with Froome and Thomas near the top was Kwiatkovski
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 06, 2017, 12:57:41 pm
Don't bank on it. They couldn't control Aru yesterday.  Porte's team fucked up.

Well, quite - letting a break with Voeckler, EBH and Gilbert in it get up the road in the first place on a stage like yesterday's was slack drills on their part. Porte was making like a Fidget Spinner when Friebe was interviewing him after the stage, because if BMC were using just two riders all day, what happened to the rest once they hit the final climb?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 06, 2017, 02:31:06 pm
The noble attempts of TV's Super D Millar and *** Boulting to not even be remotely interested in the "race" this afternoon are bordering on the surreal.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 06, 2017, 02:31:21 pm
PARASOL !!!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 06, 2017, 02:35:04 pm
Now that was a surreal moment.

Just as well that the peloton's out for a grockle* maintenant.


* Which is probably why the Colemantators are indulging us with history and TdF myths, rather than telling us that knack-all's happening.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 06, 2017, 02:42:11 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEDjY0yWAAEh8ZD.jpg:large)

https://twitter.com/velocast/status/882955547531763712

SHIT! Mary Poppins has crashed!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Clare on July 06, 2017, 02:47:58 pm
Did I hear right that CPS is going to be allowed back in?

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 06, 2017, 02:53:04 pm
The team has lodged an appeal with the CAS - http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/bora-hansgrohe-appeal-to-cas-to-reverse-sagans-tour-de-france-expulsion/ - but the chances of CPS being let back in seem, to the assembled pundits and Bethany (7), slim.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 06, 2017, 03:20:59 pm
I'm beginning to lose interest, difficult to see any other result than Sky controlling the race all the way to Paris.

Shame they belong to bloody Murdoch: instantly unlovable.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: asterix on July 06, 2017, 04:34:37 pm
Great Sprint!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 06, 2017, 04:55:23 pm
The team has lodged an appeal with the CAS - http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/bora-hansgrohe-appeal-to-cas-to-reverse-sagans-tour-de-france-expulsion/ - but the chances of CPS being let back in seem, to the assembled pundits and Bethany (7), slim.

Speed at which CAS work will probably mean TdF is finished before decision is made.

I think it is all about changing the official record from DQ to DNF for Sagan.  No rider wants DQ on his Palmaris.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 06, 2017, 05:07:01 pm
Stage 6:   Vesoul->Troyes

G Imlach:O hai! And o hai 2 TV’s Nice C Boardman!
NC Boardman:O hai! C Froome may keep teh shinyjumper all teh way 2 Paris. Or not.
G Imlach:Thank u Nice C Boardman! (Aside…) Idiot!
D Friebe:O hai! I haz here G Thomas who haz not teh shinyjumper any more.
G Thomas:Thank u Wooden D Friebe1! (Aside…) Idiot!
N Boulting:O hai! Welcome 2 a flat stage with a futile break and a sprint finish. Jacques Brel!
Musical interlude…
N Boulting:What do u think of that, eh, Super D?
SD Millar:
Bethany (7):I wish I’d said that!
Later…
C Prudhomme:OK, bored now. Off u fck!
N Boulting:And off goes teh futile break! It’s going 2 be a long day 4 them.
SD Millar:Not only 4 them either! (Sighs) Iz lunchtime yet, ***?
N Boulting:No. First it iz tiem 4 teh human antidote 2 teh Tower ov Babel, TV’s M Rendall!
M Rendall:Molto gedankies, ***! Vesoul Fred blong ladri di onkel sportive barnacle! Adolphe Saxophone en los frontière von estrella lá! Fefefefefe! Jacques Brel!
N Boulting, SD Millar & Bethany (7):What did he just say?
M Smith:O hai today I am joined. In mi cupboard by M Rogers.
M Rogers:Er, blah and, moreover, blah! Errm.
Bethany (7):Soddez çela pour une alouette! I’m off 2 teh park 2 watch teh Machmen meet teh machines and play ‘Kill By Numbers’, with mi friend 5. Txt me if anything happens!
M Smith:Why aren’t you @ school young. Lady?
Bethany (7):Piss off, grandad!
An interminable time later…
N Boulting:…and then me and mi Brompton got a lift down teh mountain from Greg Lemond! Which was nice.
SD Millar:
Omnes:We wish we’d said that!
What feels like teh middle of next week...
N Boulting:Flying buttresses?
SD Millar:Flying buttresses! Architecture! Morality! Ted & Alice!
N Boulting:Christ, I’m bored! M Rendall, historize us!
M Rendall:(Sings) This old man, he played trois, vive la France, la France c’est moi! Gimcrack governments, call me if u please, Columbey-les-deux-Églises!
SD Millar:Was that Jacques Brel, ***?
N Boulting:No. No, Super D, it was not.
CD Gaulle:Bof, u Ingleesh!
N Farage:He was right about one thing, though!
Omnes:Begone, u flap-eared tit-faced stubble-flecked gonk!
Bethany (7):This ^^^^. Mum! Mum! What’s 4 tea?
Bethany’s Mum:Where u bin, u little minx? I’ll give u tea orlrite!
N Boulting:Yikes! Sprint!
S Colbrelli:O hai! I, er, um, oh. Bugger!
A Démare:Yay! Go me!
Teh same millennium, but only just…
N Boulting:(Sings) John Kettley iz a weather man. And so iz Michael Fish Nice C Boardman!
SD Millar:Was that Jacques Brel?
N Boulting:FFS, Super D!
NC Boardman:It’s going 2 rain. Unless it doesn’t.
N Boulting:Thank u Nice C Boardman! (Aside…) Idiot!
10 km from teh finish…
ML Maire:(Waking up) Oh. Did I miss anything?
Bethany (7):What do u think?
FX: Slap
Bethany’s Mum:Wot ‘ave I tole u abaht torkin’ 2 strangers? Go 2 ur room!
Bethany (7):Awwwwwww, Muuuum!
M Kitteh:O hai and, moreover, miaow! Win: I haz it!
A Démare:Arse!
A Greipel:Piss!
SD Millar:Same Stuffs 2morrow, eh, kids!
Omnes::facepalm:

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 06, 2017, 05:07:31 pm
I'm beginning to lose interest, difficult to see any other result than Sky controlling the race all the way to Paris.

The disappointing thing is the way Froome just seems to have gravitated into yellow without really doing anything.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 06, 2017, 05:37:05 pm
Apart from hammering the time-trial, being at the front for every stage, keeping out of trouble, and seeing off all but one rival yesterday, Yes, he's done nothing.

On another note being in yellow now isn't necessarily a good thing. Aru looked megadoped amazing, but it was a stage of just one climb. If he can do that on a true mountain stage he'll win.  Its between Froome and Aru with Martin snapping at their heels for a podium slot.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 06, 2017, 05:39:03 pm
The disappointing thing is the way Froome just seems to have gravitated into yellow without really doing anything.

Errr, he did quite well on Stage 1 and took significant time out of other GC rivals and finished 6th.  After Stage 2 where he finished in a group at 2" behind Sagan he moved up to 2nd where he stayed until the next test (Stage 5) when he finished ahead of what many consider to be his main rivals and even took more time out of them.  His team have managed to ensure he has not lost time to major rivals.  From Stage 2 to 6 he has been either 2nd or 1st.

Perhaps it is the others who are not really doing anything.  Not as though Froome or his team have not been doing anything, or did you miss Stage 5 where they played a very good tactical game?  I agree the days of breakaways in the style of Merckx or Hinault appear to be over, but that is the way TdF (and other grand tours) take shape.  I don't expect him, or any of the GC contenders to do much tomorrow and perhaps Sat/Sun might see some opportunity for other teams to do something.

(CX-post with Flatus)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 06, 2017, 05:46:29 pm
I'm beginning to lose interest, difficult to see any other result than Sky controlling the race all the way to Paris.

The disappointing thing is the way Froome just seems to have gravitated into yellow without really doing anything.

I don't think his time trial performance falls into the category of 'not doing anything'. He put in a very good performance, and has extended the gap to most of his rivals in the first mountain top finish.

Personally, I do not think that it is game over. There are a number of riders this year who are up there in contention, Froome has not displayed dominance in the build up to the tour, and we haven't even got to the more mountainous stages where the race will come to life ... or not if Si S's forecast become the reality.
Title: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 06, 2017, 07:21:17 pm
You're all being boringly literal. I have been watching the race so you don't need to recount the details for my benefit.

So yeah, he's been good enough so far, but hasn't taken yellow by virtue of a decisive coup de théatre like he did in 2013 and last year.

My fear is that none of his rivals look strong enough to make him need to do any more than be solidly competent.

I'd love Dan Martin to give him a real challenge but his time trialling will be his undoing. Likewise Aru, Bardet and Yates. Porte was yet again found to be lacking the killer instinct yesterday. Quintana and Pinot just have too much Giro in their legs.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 06, 2017, 07:29:38 pm
The team has lodged an appeal with the CAS - http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/bora-hansgrohe-appeal-to-cas-to-reverse-sagans-tour-de-france-expulsion/ - but the chances of CPS being let back in seem, to the assembled pundits and Bethany (7), slim.

Speed at which CAS work will probably mean TdF is finished before decision is made.


CAS uphold disqualification of Crazy P Sagan (http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/court-arbitration-sport-uphold-peter-sagans-disqualification-tour-de-france-340151#JYDya6Jq9cyl567v.01)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on July 06, 2017, 07:41:01 pm
Why not we have Monsieur Larringtons commentary sur le tele en Angleterre?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 06, 2017, 08:14:21 pm
So yeah, he's been good enough so far, but hasn't taken yellow by virtue of a decisive coup de théatre like he did in 2013 and last year.

Incorrect.  He has been more than good enough; he has been better than his main rivals.  Taking so much time out of them on the TT was a decisive coup de théatre.  All he has to do now is defend the time advantage or extend when opportunity arises as he did on Stage 5.

It's really down to others to provide the decisive coup de théatre to wrestle the yellow jumper from him.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Oaky on July 06, 2017, 08:16:12 pm
Why not we have Monsieur Larringtons commentary sur le tele en Angleterre?

+1 - it needs a wider audience!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 06, 2017, 08:17:25 pm
CAS uphold disqualification of Crazy P Sagan (http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/court-arbitration-sport-uphold-peter-sagans-disqualification-tour-de-france-340151#JYDya6Jq9cyl567v.01)

Ouch!  Clearly an 'open and shut' case so far as CAS are concerned.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 06, 2017, 08:34:08 pm
So yeah, he's been good enough so far, but hasn't taken yellow by virtue of a decisive coup de théatre like he did in 2013 and last year.

Incorrect.  He has been more than good enough; he has been better than his main rivals.  Taking so much time out of them on the TT was a decisive coup de théatre.  All he has to do now is defend the time advantage or extend when opportunity arises as he did on Stage 5.

It's really down to others to provide the decisive coup de théatre to wrestle the yellow jumper from him.

Incorrectamundo.

He lost time (A lot of time) to Aru on stage 5. He couldn't haul him back.  If Aru can do that once or twice again he'll win. Note that Froome had nobody left when Aru went, he couldnt do the standard Sky trick of slowly winding him in. The final TT isn't long enough for Froome to bank on, plus its hilly which plays into Aru's hands.

Froome will not be able sit back on this. He's going to have to really fight. It will light up on the next mountain stage. I expect he'll have to develop a pollen allergy or something.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 06, 2017, 08:45:53 pm
Incorrectamundo. ........etc

Errr, last time I looked Froome was ahead of Aru, and I did say:

It's really down to others to provide the decisive coup de théatre to wrestle the yellow jumper from him.

Which is exactly what Aru will have to do, and anyone else for that matter.

Defending the time advantage does not just mean sitting back.  He can attack and gain more time and I'm sure they are aware that attack is the best form of defence.

They clearly cannot rely on the final 22km TT as anything could happen to upset the applecart, punctures etc, and I have no doubt they will be planning to go into that with a handsome time gap on the others.  So over to the others to 'light it up' in the mountains.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 06, 2017, 08:54:13 pm
Taking so much time out of them on the TT was a decisive coup de théatre

I don't think you know what that phrase means.

He finished sixth on the stage, only 25 seconds ahead of Simon Yates who is a rubbish time trialist. Richie Porte's time was a reflection of how cautiously he rode, not how well Froome rode.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 06, 2017, 08:55:09 pm
Incorrectamundo. ........etc

Errr, last time I looked Froome was ahead of Aru, and I did say:

It's really down to others to provide the decisive coup de théatre to wrestle the yellow jumper from him.

Which is exactly what Aru will have to do, and anyone else for that matter.

Defending the time advantage does not just mean sitting back.  He can attack and gain more time and I'm sure they are aware that attack is the best form of defence.

They clearly cannot rely on the final 22km TT as anything could happen to upset the applecart, punctures etc, and I have no doubt they will be planning to go into that with a handsome time gap on the others.  So over to the others to 'light it up' in the mountains.

Do pay attention, 007.

Froome lost 26 seconds to Aru on Stage 5
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 06, 2017, 09:01:44 pm
The final TT isn't long enough for Froome to bank on, plus its hilly which plays into Aru's hands.

I hope you're right.

Saturday and Sunday's stages should be instructive.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 06, 2017, 09:11:08 pm
Aye.

The thing about Stage 5 was that it was just one HC climb in a short stage. We'll have to see if Aru can do the same after a full mountain stage with 4 or 5 climbs. The comparative lack of depth in Astana compared to Sky didnt seem to matter to Aru, and I cant see Porte and Martin's team being able to gang up on Aru.

Froome will be needing a special package of marginal gains couriered to him.

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 06, 2017, 09:15:31 pm
Froome lost 26 seconds to Aru on Stage 5

And he will have to repeat such performances while also being a 'marked man' as Sky have indicated.

Should liven up the race which a few folk seem to consider it to be boring.  I disagree and look forward to the mountain stages, particularly the longer climbs that seem to suit the other GC contenders better.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 06, 2017, 09:25:19 pm
Taking so much time out of them on the TT was a decisive coup de théatre
I don't think you know what that phrase means.

Trite comment.  If I don't know then Mr Internet will tell me!

He finished sixth on the stage, only 25 seconds ahead of Simon Yates who is a rubbish time trialist. Richie Porte's time was a reflection of how cautiously he rode, not how well Froome rode.

And the commentators did observe that Yates had done the ride of his life.  Froome rode very well compared to his stated GC rivals which is a reflection of his ability and the decision of Porte to ride cautiously highlighted that Froome is currently ahead of the game in the Froome-Porte battle (along with the additional 4s he took on Stage 5).  As for the other GC contenders, I suppose they were just not good enough on the day thereby giving Froome a decisive coup de théatre* on his rivals and many commentators who expected folk like Martin to be in the frame.

* http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/coup-de-theatre (http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/coup-de-theatre) just in case you need it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Chris S on July 06, 2017, 09:30:39 pm
Froome lost 26 seconds to Aru on Stage 5

Indeed. He did recognise this in a TV interview - ICBA to look it up and quote him now, but in essence, he said "Yeah, we shouldn't have let him get away like that."
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: dim on July 06, 2017, 09:40:53 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f14wyze3u6g

Froome will smash it
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mzjo on July 06, 2017, 09:42:16 pm
Aye.

The thing about Stage 5 was that it was just one HC climb in a short stage. We'll have to see if Aru can do the same after a full mountain stage with 4 or 5 climbs. The comparative lack of depth in Astana compared to Sky didnt seem to matter to Aru, and I cant see Porte and Martin's team being able to gang up on Aru.

Froome will be needing a special package of marginal gains couriered to him.

He will probably have to level the cols playing field to the same level as Astana. Vino is probably up in the clouds even now as DS (or is it manager)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Andrew Br on July 06, 2017, 09:52:04 pm
.................... Aru looked megadoped ................

Sadly, that was my first thought ........


Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 06, 2017, 09:56:21 pm
Froome lost 26 seconds to Aru on Stage 5

Indeed. He did recognise this in a TV interview - ICBA to look it up and quote him now, but in essence, he said "Yeah, we shouldn't have let him get away like that."

On this page:

http://www.letour.fr/le-tour/2017/us/stage-5/news/int/chris-froome-the-race-is-far-from-over.html (http://www.letour.fr/le-tour/2017/us/stage-5/news/int/chris-froome-the-race-is-far-from-over.html)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 07, 2017, 01:34:40 am
Why not we have Monsieur Larringtons commentary sur le tele en Angleterre?

+1 - it needs a wider audience!

Bethany's Mum vetoed it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TheLurker on July 07, 2017, 07:10:38 am
I'm sort of pleased that CF isn't obviously head and shoulders above the rest of the field 'cos with luck it'll make for a more interesting race.

The thing that, as an ancient*, strikes me as remarkable is how many Brits (of various degrees**) there have been in the top 10 of the GC this last week.

As for Mr. Larrington's commentaries; I think we should *force* Cycling Weekly to print them.

* But not yet venerable, not by a long chalk.
**Born/adopted/etc
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 07, 2017, 08:30:20 am
Trite comment.  If I don't know then Mr Internet will tell me!

Apparently not.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 07, 2017, 08:50:29 am
Why not we have Monsieur Larringtons commentary sur le tele en Angleterre?

+1 - it needs a wider audience!

Bethany's Mum vetoed it.


Could we have a photo of Bethany's Mum please.


Oh, and Kittel looks a totally different person off the bike (seen interviewed) than some teutonic behemoth powering over the finish line. Just making sure I show sufficient 'Racing' commentary to the thread.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 07, 2017, 09:40:24 am
Could we have a photo of Bethany's Mum please.

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 07, 2017, 10:20:18 am
Could we have a photo of Bethany's Mum please.

(click to show/hide)
Which one is Mum?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 07, 2017, 10:22:53 am
Is the chap kneeling down Paul Sherwen?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 07, 2017, 11:48:09 am
Is the chap kneeling down Paul Sherwen?

Bethany's Mum:Ewwwww! Nah, it's W Barguil, but G Thomas iz paying mi fee!

Is that road rash I see on Super D Millar's right elbow?  Falling off your Brompton after a long lunch, was it?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 07, 2017, 11:59:29 am
TV' *** Boulting has just referred to the "spotty jersey". PPTM's lawyers will be in touch, ***.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 07, 2017, 03:19:29 pm
I love Matt Rendell's ridiculous stories  :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 07, 2017, 03:41:24 pm
The farmers must get mightily p'd off to have camera helicopters hovering low over their grain fields and blasting hell out of them.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 07, 2017, 03:57:24 pm
Could be worse, they could drop Theresa May into the middle of them and leave her to find her own way out.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 07, 2017, 04:48:37 pm
She'd fit right in if she had her pitchfork along.

P.S. that was a bloody boring stage.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 07, 2017, 04:50:00 pm
but that was a close call, we are talking hairs there
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 07, 2017, 05:03:05 pm
P.S. that was a bloody boring stage.

What are you saying, the crash at the feed zone was a non-event? Well, ok, the cameras missed it, the rider involved looked unhurt, and the only damage appeared to be a dropped chain.

At least we have a few hills tomorrow, and some serious mountains on Sunday. This should develop the story nicely.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 07, 2017, 05:15:21 pm
Stage 7: Troyes->Nuits-Saint-Georges

Bethany (7):o hai bthny heer soz cant comentat on teh tour 2da coz mi mum got rite long jus coz I bunkt of skool yesterda!!!! sendin this frm 5s fone shes mi totes bff not liek mi mum she took mi fone awa NOT FARE teh fukn old c-o-w!!!!?! sa hi 2 tvs niec c boardman frm me an 5,,,, hes liek mi coole unkl jeo (onli lots oldr rofl{ bai xXx bthny1
M Rendall:What did she just say?
NC Boardman:They grow up so fast these days, don’t they?
G Imlach:Yes. Yes, they do. Today’s stage, Nice C Boardman. Ur prediction?
NC Boardman:Futile break, sprint finish, *** Boulting talking about Jacques Brel again. Unless teh wind picks up, which will be teh different kettle ov fish.
M Kitteh:Did he say “fish”? I liek fish! Also, miaow!
C Prudhomme:Back in ur travelling basket, M Kitteh! Teh stage hasn’t started yet!
Later…
N Boulting:O hai! TV’s *** Boulting here! Super D Millar, SCIENCE us! Wind!
SD Millar:Woo! Pens! (Explains Futility ov Breaks with teh Aid ov Diagrams…) Wind!
N Boulting:Top SCIENCE there! And tomorrow SD Millar will Explain Mountains through teh Medium ov Interpretive Dance! Wind!
Exeunt four Charlies, pursued by a pelican…
SD Millar:M Mori… very Italian. They’re all exhibitionists!
M Cipollini:How very dare you, Sir! Naem yore weapon!
SD Millar:I naem him… BASIL!!1!
M Cipollini:OK, u win.
Later…
N Boulting:Tiem 4 wind, M Smith, M Rogers, lunch and wind. Wind!
M Rogers:Wind. La Grande Motte 2009. Wind.
M Smith:Wind. Stage win 4 A Greipel teh goriler ov 3b.
Omnes:MUNKEH!!1!
Much later…
M Rogers & M Smith:Wind. We haz pens also. But no paper. Soz!
N Boulting:We’re baaaaaack! What’s happening?
Omnes:Nothing.
SD MillarWhat, again?
After a suitable period has elapsed…
N Boulting:Sprint!
S Colbrelli:O hai! Got it right this tiem eh?
M Kitteh:Let me out ov this basket! I am a professional racing cyclist, I tell you, not a bloody cat! Also, miaow!
N Boulting & SD Millar:Wind!!1!
N Boulting:And now 4 ur listening plezh, Sir G Verity!
SG Verity:Eh up! Fook me, ah’m knackered! Just ridden ‘undred and twenty k. Bai eck, it’s a bit warm out there! w00t, CAEK! Wind! Tour de Yorkshire!
JR Tyke:...bloody give u Col de bloody Buttertubs, tha great spawny-eyed parrot-faced wazzock…
After teh 4th Cat lump…
N Boulting:Yawn! M Rendall, ur turn 2 SCIENCE us!
SD Millar:Must we?
M Rendall:Shivva mi ganesh sur knobftick blood! Dachshund Apollo XV scumble begumseguckeger on!on bol do fjørd con jamón! Clair von cratère lunytiče são giorgio go-kart Cait O’Riordan? LOL!!1!
SD Millar:Get! Out!
Bethany (7):O hai! What’s happening, gang?
Omnes:Nothing.
Bethany (7):What, again?
Bethany’s Mum:Bef’ny! Gerrin ‘ere an’ do yore ‘omework!
Bethany (7):Awwwwwww, Muuuum! Bloody Tory league tables!
...
N Boulting:Wine.
SD Millar:Yes plz! Hic!
N Boulting:Hair!
SD Millar:Oh yes! I’m worth it!
N Boulting:Wind… gorn!
And so to…
N Boulting:Futile break… gorn!
SD Millar:Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE!
M Kitteh:Winnage? Also, miaow!
B-Dog:Winnage? Woof, woof!
M Kitteh:Ha! U lose, dogbreath! U liek mi hair? Miaow!
B-Dog:Piss!
A Démare:Oh. Haz teh stage finished then?
N Bouhanni:I wuz robbed! Again.
Omnes:Ooh, M Kitteh! Ur so money supermarket!
M Kitteh:What did they just say?

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 07, 2017, 07:09:23 pm
I've been watching the tour for many years and still remember the ½ hour highlights on channel 4 every summer and so maybe I'm being nostalgic. However I think this year has been pretty dull so far apart from the 10(?) kilometres of uphill on the Planche des Belles Filles climb. I realise part of the problem is the geography of France (a lot of it is pretty flat). Some decent Spanish style crosswinds wouldn't go amiss or some Italian town at the top of a 25% climb. Or some Roubaix style pave.

Hopefully things will become more interesting over the weekend. If not then I'll look forward to the craziness of the Veulta.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 07, 2017, 07:34:22 pm
It may kick off tomorrow, but the problem is it doesn't finish on a climb
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mrs Pingu on July 07, 2017, 08:20:40 pm
I think Mr L's reportage was more exciting than the real stage. As mentioned elsewhere, I reckon when the stage is dull they should limit the highlights to 20 mins and fill the remainder with UK's Funniest Kittens!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 07, 2017, 08:30:50 pm
I think TV's *** Boulting had his 'suitcase of courage' moment: a small pipette of hope  :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 07, 2017, 08:37:04 pm
It's the 50th anniversary of the Regional Natural Parks, and the Tour is visiting 9 of them. That's why the usual concentration on the Alps and Pyrenees isn't happening. Those areas are equivalent to our National Parks.

I like the idea, as the Tour should show the diversity of France. They've learned from the visit to Yorkshire in that sense.

http://www.parcs-naturels-regionaux.fr/article/le-tour-de-france-dans-les-parcs`

I'm being driven slightly mad by the ITV4 adverts, the 'avian entourage' especially. The 'Mitchum' advert with its 'travelling without directions' got me wondering what an audax fragrance might be called, for those who travel with minutely detailed directions.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 07, 2017, 08:44:53 pm
P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®: watching the live coverage so you don't have to...

NB: I'm away next weekend so you may have to make do with lowlights, a sort of "pelican brief" ha ha and, moreover, lol.  Perhaps Bethany (7) could do it, if her Mum'll let her.

I'm being driven slightly mad by the ITV4 adverts, the 'avian entourage' especially. The 'Mitchum' advert with its 'travelling without directions' got me wondering what an audax fragrance might be called, for those who travel with minutely detailed directions.

That one with He-Man (?) telling Skeletor "You're so Money Supermarket" is worthy of at least three killin's.  I still don't know whether being 'Money Supermarket' is a Good Thing, or a Bad Thing, or just camp as a row of tents.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Peter on July 07, 2017, 08:48:44 pm
Did anyone notice "a vortex of negativity" from (I think) Matt, today?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 07, 2017, 08:52:56 pm
Alas, yes :'(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Peter on July 07, 2017, 09:02:53 pm
It's bloody dangerous, no?  I was just cutting some cheese and the shock nearly had the knife in my leg.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 07, 2017, 09:46:00 pm
Excellent commentary from M. le Maire. Needs MOARTM kumquats . . .

Serious question. Since ASO/TeleFrance/Eurosport or whoever are providing live coverage from the roll out, is the quality of the commentary suffering? or have they always had jack shit to talk about most of the time . . . ?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 07, 2017, 10:45:09 pm
Having read aloud to Mrs. Torslanda, she of the horned helmet and heavy metal breastplate, a several of M. le Maire's stage commentaries, the youngest is now wandering around saying:

'Marcel Kitteh. Can haz fish? Also, miaow'!

Mr. Weetabix, we have a problem . . .

ETA Youngest is also distinctly underchuffed that Nibali isn't riding this year.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 07, 2017, 10:48:35 pm
A request from a avid reader of P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® race reports: please can P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® drop the use of 1 in the footnote listings as this avid reader of P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® is finding it confusing, what with the !!1! All over the place.
Many thanks
An avid reader of P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® race reports.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 07, 2017, 11:09:52 pm
Confusion is good, surely? However, the 1 in !!1! may be usefully replaced with one, i.e. !!one!, taking this gag to its ultimate conclusion or quite possibly beyond.

In fact, P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® may have already done this. I haven’t checked. One thing I did notice, chiefly by its slaying me every time, is the occasional full stop in names uttered by M Smith, e.g. “K. House” and “M. Beaumont”.

But these race summaries are hilarious on a lot of levels. In a bizarre way they remind me of Steve Bell cartoons, wherein one gag begets another until the result is high absurdity that is nonetheless followable. Not that dissecting humour is often a good idea.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 07, 2017, 11:36:39 pm
Ever since the advent of live coverage stages like today's were more often than not dire and the full stage performance hasn't helped.  Which is why *** and Super Dave do the intro and then sod off for lunch, leaving M Smith and guest to comment from Vsquared's broom cupboard in That London.  But they're still streets ahead of anything Liggett and Sherwen ever served up, especially after lunch when *** goes slightly bonkers and Super D stops pretending to be interested.

The use of 1 for footnotes is noted, especially as yacf's SCIENCE sometimes gets confused when you put extra formatting inside tables, though it does make life easier to use a numbered list for the footnotes themselves.

Taken to its illogical conclusion, stuff like !!1! has occasionally been rendered "!!1!eleven!", though not (yet) this year.  Of course, it makes absolutely no sense, coz the typing part is nearly all done on an iPad, on which "1" and "!" are on completely different "keys" ;D

If you look carefully enough you'll spot that M Smith's sentences. Started out. Two words long. And have been getting. One word longer every day.  Except today, when either he didn't have much to say or I couldn't be bothered to count to seven.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: hatler on July 08, 2017, 12:38:26 am
Wahey !!  On the Beeb's live text coverage (http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/live/cycling/40031173) at 13.30 I got a tweet displayed. My first interaction with the Beeb via Twitter.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 08, 2017, 08:33:37 am
P.S. that was a bloody boring stage.

What are you saying, the crash at the feed zone was a non-event? Well, ok, the cameras missed it, the rider involved looked unhurt, and the only damage appeared to be a dropped chain.

At least we have a few hills tomorrow, and some serious mountains on Sunday. This should develop the story nicely.

I must have been asleep.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 08, 2017, 08:52:49 am
Ever since the advent of live coverage...

Ah. It's been live on the box here for the last 40 years at least.  I watch it on francetvinfo.fr with L. Jalabert, C.Vasseur & other veterans of the pharma era providing light relief, e.g.

Jaja: Vent! Vent! Bordure!
Omnes: EPO, vieux plouc!
Jaja: La gueule. Vent!

...but I wouldn't presume to imitate further.

Image quality is bloody 'orrible at times but that's OK if you're asleep.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 08, 2017, 09:14:11 am
Long flat stages does nothing for me! All stages should be 130-160km every day with a minimum of two lumps
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 08, 2017, 09:23:16 am
I say, I say we should vote and I would, for the tour to move to Yorkshire all the time I there is enough lumps around here to keep it busy for a few weeks :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 08, 2017, 12:32:19 pm
Today's word is "elastic" E-LAS-TIC. Elastic.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 08, 2017, 12:54:17 pm
Breaks finding it harder to get away, and/or people getting shelled out the back of the pelican already, then.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 08, 2017, 01:12:10 pm
It's a measure of the success of British cycling that having three UK-born riders in the top six of the GC fails to excite much interest any more. Froome represents GB as well of course.

I blame street furniture for emasculating the sprint stages, it breaks up the lead out. Yesterday's was quite good, but it doesn't compare to the days of the Saeco 'Red Train'.
There's too much information in the racing these days, as was outlined in the ITV4 piece in power meters.

I mainly watch for the videography these days. The sequence with the bike on a tightrope has been the highlight so far. We were treated to a bit of an aerial ballet, as the helicopter manoeuvred to get the shot with the tightrope rider over the top of the moving peloton.

The other main interest has been in the number of people you can get in the bucket of a telehandler, and the occasional lodged crop of grain. I assume there have been a number of 'orages' during the hot spells in June.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 08, 2017, 01:17:57 pm
Cracking stage today. Funny how lumps makes everything exciting
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 08, 2017, 01:57:13 pm
A Démare:No. No, it is not funny!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 08, 2017, 02:04:18 pm
I say, I say we should vote and I would, for the tour to move to Yorkshire all the time I there is enough lumps around here to keep it busy for a few weeks :)

How many 2000-metre lumps are there in Yorks?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 08, 2017, 02:13:11 pm
I say, I say we should vote and I would, for the tour to move to Yorkshire all the time I there is enough lumps around here to keep it busy for a few weeks :)

How many 2000-metre lumps are there in Yorks?
That's irreverant. It's Yorkshire, gods own county. Nuff said.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 08, 2017, 02:49:39 pm
You can always tell a Yorkshireman, but you cannot tell him much.  :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 08, 2017, 03:11:43 pm
:thumbsup:

Meanwhile, WTF?

(http://www.pbase.com/image/165793515.jpg)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 08, 2017, 03:14:56 pm
It's a good thing that the TdF has proper road closures - apparently, the Demare group is now around 16km behind the lead group.

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 08, 2017, 03:15:59 pm
:thumbsup:

Meanwhile, WTF?

(http://www.pbase.com/image/165793515.jpg)

Comment from the BikeRadar thread:

Quote
Looks like the local populace have a major UTI problem based on the colour of that river!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 08, 2017, 03:52:09 pm
A couple of good CDCs on the road just now :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 08, 2017, 04:07:08 pm
:thumbsup:

Meanwhile, WTF?

(http://www.pbase.com/image/165793515.jpg)

Comment from the BikeRadar thread:

Quote
Looks like the local populace have a major UTI problem based on the colour of that river!

I reckon it was my old Audax buddy André at the Fairy Liquid again.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 08, 2017, 04:43:46 pm
I see Calamity Jane* has taken over the cunning linguist mantle from Plucky Little Tomas Vaux-Clair.  :P


* h/t to the BR posse
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 08, 2017, 04:58:56 pm
Stage 8: Dole->Station Des Rousses

Bethany (7):o hai bthny heer cant do teh tour AGANE coz mi mum sez we goin 2 vizit mi hipi nana 2da whoz reely old an smokes funy siggerets NOT FARE ,,,,sa hi 2 soupa d milla 5 whoz mi bff thinx hes ded peng !! lolxXx bthny
Bethany’s Mum:Bef’ny! ‘ave u brushed yore ‘air?
Bethany (7):Yes, Mum! (Aside…) Fukn old c-o-w!
Bethany’s Mum:I ‘eard dat!
FX: Slap
Bethany (7):Owww! Here we see teh violence inherent in teh system! Help! Help! I’m being repressed!
Bethany’s Mum:Shurrup, u little toerag! Or I’ll sell u 2 TV’s Evil C Boardman 4 teh medical xperiments rest day pogrom!
Bethany (7):(Sotto voce…) yeah yeah u fukn c-o-w hes proberly a peedo!
NC Boardman:Tch! I blame teh parents…
G Imlach:Get ur hat, Super D, u’ve pulled roffle!
SD Millar:I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that, G Imlach.
Omnes:5’ll run a mile if she sees SD Millar wearing a hat lol!
SD Millar:U lot can get tae fck as well! (Sulks…)
N Boulting:Cheer up, Super D! At least today haz teh proper climbs and maybe M Smith will have discovered teh sub-clause!
SD Millar:Yarbles! Bolshy gr8 yarblockoes 2 u 2, *** Boulting!
N Boulting:Remind me again which 1 out ov u and Bethany (7) is seven (7) years old…
SD Millar:Wee-wee! Knickers! Horse poos in teh road! (Starts crying…)
P York:I’m having second thoughts about teaming up with that lot!
Meanwhile…
G Imlach:O hai! GV Avermaet!
D Friebe:O hai! O hai, R Porte! GV Avermaet?
R Porte:O hai! GV Avermaet!
D Friebe:O hai, GV Avermaet!
GV Avermaet:O hai! S Cummings!
D Friebe:O hai, S Cummings!
S Cummings:O hai! Take it as it comes, see what happens, GV Avermaet!
Omnes::facepalm:
Shortly thereafter…
C Prudhomme:U! Yes, u, boy! Get yore bloody hands off mi car!
N Boulting:O hai! In fact, everyone is going 2 be in teh possibly non-futile break today. S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel!
SD Millar:Not talking 2 you!
N Boulting:Louis Pasteur!
SD Millar:Meh! (Blows raspberry)
C Prudhomme:OK. Off u fck!
A Several ov Breaks ov variable Futility later…
N Boulting:So iz this teh definitive break?
SD Millar:(Forgetting 2 sulk…) No. Yes. Intermediate sprint. Elastic.
S Cummings:C me bide mi tiem!
GV Avermaet:Arse! Can’t u lot just let me get on with it? I’m teh Olympic champion FFS!
S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel:O hai! I, S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel, multiple tiem-trial champion ov France, will do teh break 2da or die trying! Oh.
S Cummings:C me bide mi tiem!
N Boulting:PT Voeckler!
SD Millar:GV Avermaet. Intermediate sprint. Momentum. Elastic. M Kitteh.
M Kitteh:O hai! Fish. Also, miaow!
S Cummings:C me bide mi tiem!
M Kitteh:Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! Oh. Piss and, moreover, miaow!
A Greipel:lol @ M Kitteh!
Omnes:MUNKEH!
S Cummings:C me bide mi tiem!
After teh blipverts…
SD Millar:GV Avermaet. J Hendrix. TD Gendt. AT Hun. S ["Poisonous term" - Ed.]anel. EO Aquitaine. PT Voeckler. A Lincoln. M Kitteh. None ov them iz in teh break! WTF iz going on?
S Cummings:C me bide mi tiem!
Later…
Bethany (7):o hai only got a sec coz mi mum an mi hipi nana an mi coole unkl jeo are all out in mi nanas gardin smokin teh funy siggerets,,,,,,, an giglin liek *** off ov teh tely when tvs niec c boardman maeks him do sumfink sily lol!
Bethany’s Mum:Bef’ny! ‘oo u torkin’ 2? Hahahahahahaha oh! I dropped it!
Bethany (7):No-one, Mum! (Whistles innocently…)
Bethany’s Cool Uncle Joe:Outtasight far out!
Bethany’s Hippie Nana:Thass teh first sign ov madness, that is! Pffthhlllrt!
S Uggs:Leave it…
Bethany (7):Anything happening with teh GC contenders yet? I want 2 see them make a proper race ov it!
M Rendall:What did she just say?
Omnes:No. Nothing GC-ish happening yet. And S Cummings is biding his tiem.
Bethany (7):Oh. Bum. L8rs!
Not much later…
SD Millar:Reboot! Force teh pace! GV Avermaet!
N Boulting:TD Gendt, J Bakelite! UT Cobley!
SD Millar:Feed zone!
M Smith:O hai talking ov feed zones iz tiem. U 2 went off 4 ur lunch.
R Downing:This ^^^^.
N Boulting:Oh, OK. But I’m watching you.
S Cummings:C me bide mi tiem!
R Downing:Eh up! S Cummings iz biding his tiem! Oh aye! ‘appen!
Post-prandium…
N Boulting:Enuff! A Démare – ‘liminated or what?
N Bouhanni:Oh, I do hope so!
N Boulting:W Barguil. S Pauwels. Virtual shinyjumper. Oh!
W Barguil:O hai! That hurt more than an hour with Bethany’s Mum!
Bethany's Mum:O hai, big boy! Hahahahahateehee! Pass it here, Joe!
M Smith:Haven’t u 2 finished ur lunch yet this. Colemantating iz harder than it looks!
N Boulting:A Talansky! Virtual shinyjumper!
C Knees:Oomeknees!
C Froome:O hai! Whoopsie! Where did teh road go?
N Boulting:GV Avermaet!
At or near teh village ov Cabbages1
Bethany (7):o hai wots this bout mi mum an w barguil,,,,, she jus fell off her chare o god shes so mbarasin sumtiems…
W Barguil:Errrrrrrr, grown-up Stuffs! Cut, FFS!
Bethany (7):So, GC, then?
SD Millar:Pregnant, with unexplored avenues.
Bethany (7):How does anyone get pregnant without exploration? I don’t buy that virgin birth rubbish, y’know!
SD Millar:(Turns funny shade ov puce) Er, um, IVF?
N Boulting:$ky winding it up a bit now. Might all kick off on teh final climb but tomorrow's a big day as well.
Bethany (7):Thank u, ***. At least there’s one person here who still makes sense!
After what iz hopefully teh last lot ov blipverts
N Boulting:25k, 90 seconds, w00t!
ML Maire:FFS! MOAR fukn blipverts >:(
SB Wiggins:Buy! Buy a Skoda!
ML Maire:Get tae fck, SB Wiggins! I’ve already got one.
N Boulting:20k, 80 seconds, w00t!
ML Maire:FFS! MOAR fukn blipverts >:(
S Mug-Git:Buy! Buy a Volkswagen!
L Calmejane:O hai! Remember me? Not calling me “Sue” now, R U?
N Roche:Piss!
R Gesink:I ATE’NT DEAD! (Dies)
L Calmejane:Owwwwwwwwww! Me legses!
S Yates:O hai! I am S Yates and I am made ov teh Win! C me attack 4 teh juniorshinyjumper!
T $ky:Oh no u don’t, m’laddo!
N Boulting:Look, see, teh PT Voeckler Lolling Tongue ov Success!
L Calmejane:I told u I was dead butch!
SD Millar:Spare a thort 4 poor dead A Démare!
N Bouhanni:Ur joking. Sa “yes” or I punch ur lights out!
Bethany (7):No change up front, then?
NC Boardman:No. No, there wasn’t.
Bethany (7):ok ta niec c boardman gotta go an put mi mum inna taksi cu 2moro bai xXx bthny
S Cummings:C me bide mi oh...
G Imlach:Look, see, S Yates is on teh fone. Who do u think he’s calling?
NC Boardman:Gotta be his Mum!
EC Boardman:Or Bethany's Mum lol!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 08, 2017, 11:14:47 pm
Oh noes, TV's *** Boulting missed the opportunity to say 'small Pasteur pipette of hope'  :-[
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 09, 2017, 01:17:50 am
Never mind ***, how d'you think I feel for missing the blindingly obvious "Calamity Jane" joak :'(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 09, 2017, 11:18:15 am
Exeunt Mori & Gesink within first kms.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ivo on July 09, 2017, 11:24:17 am
Exeunt Mori & Gesink within first km.

It sounded quite nasty for Mori.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Terry72 on July 09, 2017, 12:06:34 pm
Will Porte rise to the challenge?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 09, 2017, 12:39:33 pm
Yay! Dokta Hutch*!

* Still catching up with the recording
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 09, 2017, 01:18:09 pm
Thomas down...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 09, 2017, 01:18:54 pm
Froome isolated!!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 09, 2017, 01:19:45 pm
He's drop looks ouch :(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 09, 2017, 01:21:00 pm
Up again. Bloody mess. :(

And out, suspected collar-bone. :(

The fall was on a very rough surface, ripped him up. Horrible.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ivo on July 09, 2017, 01:39:14 pm
At this rate there'll be 10-20 riders out by the evening.
3 riders crashed and out already,
3 riders that far back that they'll quite likely be out of time (Demare and his 2 teammates).
That with half the stage done.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 09, 2017, 01:40:25 pm
G out.

Broken collar bone.

Gutted for him.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 09, 2017, 02:01:00 pm
Today's word is "AG2R". A-G-2-AIR.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ivo on July 09, 2017, 02:11:18 pm
Maika badly bruised in a crash but still riding.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 09, 2017, 02:15:22 pm
Sky putting in a good stint to shrink the gap. Looks like things will start to explode midway through the final climb, if anyone has anything left.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 09, 2017, 03:15:37 pm
Aru attacking when Froome has a technical. Poor form.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 09, 2017, 03:34:36 pm
Froome is just amazing
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 09, 2017, 03:41:16 pm
Porte gone
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 09, 2017, 03:49:40 pm
That looks nasty, moving him into an ambulance. He is talking but with a neck brace. GWS!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ivo on July 09, 2017, 03:50:00 pm
Porte gone

A very nasty crash, he's in the ambulance now.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ivo on July 09, 2017, 03:55:54 pm
Technical issues for Uran, but with Speedplay pedals the Mavic car won't be of much help for him.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 09, 2017, 03:56:07 pm
You can't beat a good old-fashioned cable.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 09, 2017, 03:56:53 pm
Dan Martin down and up again ...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 09, 2017, 04:01:42 pm
Not a good advert for these arj-fangled anbaric gears, is it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 09, 2017, 04:04:55 pm
Frome take his turn in the train, not many people in yellow have done that.

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 09, 2017, 04:10:26 pm
Who needs gears anyway  :P
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 09, 2017, 04:12:56 pm
He was ready for the sprint that way.

Cruel for Barguil.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 09, 2017, 04:14:34 pm
Richie Porte's smash was horrific. I assume it was his face or head that took the impact when he slammed into the right wall. I hope he's OK and it looked worse than it was, #fingerscrossed
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 09, 2017, 04:25:22 pm
He was ready for the sprint that way.

Froome keeping an eye on the time bonuses again like he did that time last year when he ended up contesting a sprint finish with CP Sagan.

Cruel for Barguil.

This. Bethany (7) is heartbroken :'(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mrs Pingu on July 09, 2017, 04:36:41 pm
Bloody hell, that was a bit exciting today! 
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 09, 2017, 04:41:08 pm
What. A. Stage.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 09, 2017, 04:41:32 pm
Proper racing today with those that want to win having to work for it, especially over that last hill.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 09, 2017, 04:43:02 pm
He was ready for the sprint that way.

Cruel for Barguil.

Quote from: the BikeRadar thread
Beaten by some git on a singlespeed. I think every single one of us who commutes by bike knows the feeling...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 09, 2017, 05:01:35 pm
The official results table only has 123 riders home so far, against 193 finishers yesterday. I heard earlier that the guillotine would be at something like 38 minutes, dunno if that's accurate. Seems a bit draconian.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Rhys W on July 09, 2017, 05:11:37 pm
The more I see of Porte's Crash, the more it looks to me that he'd be a lot better off if Dan Martin's bike hadn't given him that final push into the stone wall. Very unfortunate.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 09, 2017, 05:13:58 pm
Stage 9: Nantua->Chambéry

Bethany (7):o hai urly start 2da gud job mi mums stil aslepe eh coz shed onli showt @ me agen onistly ud think shed ov growd out ov it bi now i had 2 get mi own t yesterday findus crispy fukn pancaeks agen salt fat additives u naem it im gonna call childline…
FX: Piano being defenestrated
…hang on shes moovin upstares l8rs…
G Imlach:O hai! I, TV’s G Imlach, Grand Vizier by appointment 2 teh Court ov HM teh King C Prudhomme teh First, welcome u 2 teh mobile soap opera that iz teh Tour de France! Mi Fool TV’s Nice C Boardman iz off doing teh Stuffs 4 TV so I will torment TV’s *** Boulting and TV’s Super D Millar!
N Boulting:(Guiltily concealing sticky bun…) O hai! I, TV’s *** Boulting, pronounce today’s stage MOAR Eebil than TV’s Evil C Boardman!
SD Millar:O hai! Fck yeah, I, TV’s Super D Miller, say “iz nasty”!
N Boulting:AG2R! Oh yes!
G Imlach:Oh, look, see, a prat on a zip line! Get stuck, go on, o you mite! Maek us larrf, liek TV’s Bloody Stupid Johnson!
Meanwhile…
Bethany (7):o god i think shes bein sik (Shouting) Mum, Mum, can I go round 2 5’s house, Mum?
Bethany’s Mum:Doan care wot u do, u little tart, long as u shurrup abah’ it!
Bethany (7):Revenge is sweet but not fattening, eh, readers!
N Boulting:Rain! TV’s M Smith! Who haz u got in ur broom cupboard 2da?
M Smith:O hai 2da I haz M Hutchinson aka. Dokta Hutch teh well-known loonhouse only he’s. Not here yet!
N Boulting:U had one job!
SD Millar:Teh FEAR – teh pelican haz it!
A Démare:O hai! Ur not wrong there, Super D! C me form l’autobus e’en b4 le Roi C Prudhomme haz done teh impression ov teh Malmesbury Monk!
N Bouhanni:LOL @ A Démare!
Omnes:And what manner ov rider art thou, that soddeth off teh front on teh very first climb?
T Wellens:O hai! There are those who call me… TIM!
T Pinot:O hai! I am T Pinot and I am made ov teh Win! Y u wearing those horns?
T Wellens:Who, me?
Across teh tracks…
5’s Mummy:Air hellay, Bethany! Vivalda1 is just mucking ait her poney! Would you like a kumquat?
Bethany (7):Yes please, Mrs Poulidor-Featherstonehaugh!
5’s Mummy:Oh for goodness’ sake, Bethany, hai many times do Ai have to ask you to call me “Syrah2”?
Enter Vivalda Poulidor-Featherstonehaugh aka “5”
5:o hai bef’ny we gonna watch teh tour innit?
Bethany (7):innit!
5:We’ll be in mai suite, Mummy. We won’t hear Daddy shouting at teh under-gardener from up there!
5’s Mummy:OK, dahling! Do finish your kumquat first, Bethany!
Bethany (7):Yesmissispoulidorfanshawnomnomnom! Ooh, I fink one ov mi teef haz come loose!
5’s Mummy:“Syrah”!
SD Millar:Oh, look, see, M Mori haz doned a crash! C him showing off as he writhes on teh floor in ag…, er, cut! CUT, FFS!
N Boulting:Big bunch off teh front! Look, see, there is JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking!
JJ Jarlinsson:O hai! Remember me, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking? And remember what happens 2 people who call me “Jar-Jar”? (Indicates very large hammer) They meet mi associate, El Mjölñiro, and ushualy end up being killed utterly 2 DETH!
R Gesink:I ATE’NT DEAD!!one! (Abandons…)
Meanwhile…
5:Super D Millar! (Huge sigh) He’s so yummy! I wanna haz hiz babies!
Bethany (7):Ur sick! U seed hiz hat? (Shows 5 picture ov SD Millar in teh “Rubette XL De Luxe”)
5:Ewwwwwww! I gone rite of im innit!
Bethany (7):Mi work here is done lol! U owe me big tiem, Super D!
SD Millar:Thank fck 4 that!
N Boulting:Tiem 4 MOAR sticky buns! M Smith, speak 2 us with words, shake ur ash spear!
M Smith:O hai Dokta Hutch haz now rocked up. Next big French hope L Calamityjane3 or something. Or what?
D Hutch:L Calamityjane yes T Pinot R Bardet that other bloke PT Voeckler tongue and so on.
Omnes:What did he just, wait… what! Where iz teh lazy Norn Iron stereotyping?
ML Maire:Ha!
Later…
TD Gendt:Piss!
S Cummings:C me bide ect ect!
SD Millar:Rain.
SG Verity:(From somewhere up teh road) Eh up, bai ‘eck, aye! Rain.
N Boulting:Spottyjumper?
SD Millar:Yes. No. Perhaps.
N Boulting:JJ Jarlinsson (teh Colombian Viking)?
SD Millar:Reboot. His gears, that is.
TP Fairy:O hai! I am TP Fairy, and I maek TV’s Evil C Boardman look liek St Francis ov Assissisisisissssssss! Whom shall I visit with mi Pointy Thing ov Doom 2da, eh? Ah, J Birdsong! Stab, stabbity, stabbeee!
J Birdsong:Maybe you’ll wanna give me kisses sweet. But only 4 one night with no repeat! Mi Mum was in Teh Supremes, u know4!
TP Fairy:Flattery does not work with me, J Birdsong!
P Roglic:O hai! Spottyjumper wha-hey!
SD Millar:Wet descent. Not hard work. Skill.
Bethany (7):Skill? Isn’t that an African bum disease roffle?
Omnes:No, Bethany (7). No, it is not.
N Boulting:C Betancur. Virtual shinyjumper!
SD Millar:Monsieur Bibendum! Porky bloater! Aaaah, Spacehopper!
T Astana:O NOES! OUR DOM-ES-TIQUES HAZ BEEN EX-TER-MIN-A-TED!
N Boulting:AG2R! JJ Jarlinsson!
G Thomas:Arse! That hurts!
R Bardet:O hai! Right, watch this!
JJ Jarlinsson:O hai! Anyone seen A Contador?
A Contador:O hai! I fell over. Going uphill. FFS!
SD Millar:Wha-hey, wowsa, w00t and other expressions ov enthusiasm! AG2R!
N Boulting:Virtual shinyjumper! A Vuillermoz! Spottyjumper!
W Barguil:Not if I, W “Big Boy” Barguil haz any say in teh matter!
T Ben00t:O hai! I, T Ben00t, am also here, u know! Just coz I never been caught in flagrante with Bethany’s Mum!
Bethany (7):Hold on! What are u implying? Surely W Barguil iz not old enuff 2 be mi Dad! Iz he?
T Ben00t:(Whistles innocently…)
SD Millar:This iz much MOAR betterer than flat stage ploddery futile break dullitude, eh? AG2R!
N Boulting:M Matthews! J Bakelite! B Mollema and hiz aero conk! S Geschke and hiz Hipster Beard! Tiem 4 tea & seed CAEK! M Smith & D Hutch, disseminate essential information!
D Hutch:M Matthews, eh? Team $ky creeping up. Mont du Chat.
M Kitteh:Chat? Miaow!
N Boulting:Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE!
M Matthews:O hai! Yay, points! Points 4 meeee! If I was CP Sagan u’d all be saying how crazy I am! Bloody favouritism!
N Boulting:Oh, look, see, TV’s C Boardmen have just appeared! Evil C Boardman is implying A Démare is in deep, deep doo-doo!
N Bouhanni:Mi hart bleeds!
N Boulting:Mickey Mouse blocking teh Col du Chat lol!
SD Millar:Cat… mouse… roffle!
Omnes:That falls way below teh standards stipulated in ur terms & conditions, SD Millar! U will not be paid 4 it!
Slo dissolve…
N Boulting & SD Millar:Reboot!
C Froome:Yoicks! Mi biek!
F Aru:Arooooooo! I’m teh hairy-handed gent who ran amuck in Kent!
Omnes:Sho sum RISPEK, F Aru, u wnkr!
C Froome:I could hav u killed, F Aru! Killed utterly 2 DETH!
W Barguil:Oi! I’m leading teh stage, u kno!
Bethany (7):yay go mi dad w barguil!
F Aru:Arooooooo! Ect.
R Porte:O RLY?
C Froome:O RLY?
N Quintana:O RLY?
W Barguil:O piss!
A Contador:Wot W Barguil said!
Bethany (7):yay mi dad w barguil haz teh spottyjumper!
J Birdsong:I pwned teh Dauphiné coming down here, y’know! Yeah, don’t ya hear teh wind blowing?
R Porte:I, er, oh, bugger!
D Martin:(Furious mid-air arm-waving) WTF did u do that for, R Porte?
R Bardet:CU l8r, suxx0rz!
C Froome:Go on then, F Aru, ur so fukn keen!
F Aru:
5:look bef’ny during teh blipverts r bardet iz in teh lead!
Bethany (7):o ffs itv u gits!!?!
Shortly…
Bethany (7):yay they cort im!
J Birdsong:I told u I was hardcore. You packed your bags as I recall, and you walked slowly down teh hall. Oh!
Bethany (7):yay go mi dad w barguil yay pwnage!
W Barguil:(Speechless…)
Bethany (7):(Speechless…)
R Uran:Er, excuse me, W Barguil, but I think ur sitting in mi chair!
W Barguil:FFS!
Bethany (7):(Starts crying…)
Omnes:Never mind teh riders, we need a rest day after that!

I expect Riggers will be wanting a picture of Mrs Syrah Poulidor-Featherstonehaugh next :demon:

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 09, 2017, 05:16:17 pm

The more I see of Porte's Crash, the more it looks to me that he'd be a lot better off if Dan Martin's bike hadn't given him that final push into the stone wall. Very unfortunate.
The less I see of Porte's crash the better.



Cycling news are saying

Arnaud Demare is out of the race
 
It's official. The French champion, off the back from KM0, has failed to finish within the time cut. His FDJ teammates Delage, Guarnieri, and Konovalovas, who accompanied him over the climbs, are also out. A blg blow for the French team, whose race now depends on Pinot.


And

We're also hearing that Juraj Sagan, Mark Renshaw, and Matteo Trentin also missed the time cut.
 
That's seven riders outside the limit, while we make it at least four riders - Porte, Thomas, Mori, Gesink - who abandoned the race after crashes.
 
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 09, 2017, 05:29:33 pm
Jos van Emden, one of Gesink's team-mates, has also abandoned, according to letour.fr.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 09, 2017, 06:07:47 pm
Move over number 13, we got a new kid on the block - stage number NINE and ranking number TWO ...

https://www.teamsky.com/article/thomas-out-of-the-tour-de-france

Quote
can’t really think about that at the moment. I’m just thinking of the devastation of leaving the Tour and another Grand Tour. I crashed at the Giro on stage nine, and it’s stage nine again here. I was lying second overall on both days as well. It’s just so disappointing
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 09, 2017, 06:38:57 pm
From a few days ago - nice and honest :)

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEOVRLOXsAA9MIx.jpg:large)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 09, 2017, 06:52:12 pm
Summary of the stage today: carnage.

12 DNF including those out of time (4 from FDJ) and 2 podium possibilities (Porte and Thomas).  Contador effectively a non-player now (5'15"), Quintana (2'13") losing more time and Aru still there.

No doubt the rest day will be welcomed.

Followed the stage with live updates (BBC and Le Tour) and listened to final stages (20km) on radio.  Not sure I want to watch the highlights with those crashes.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 09, 2017, 07:09:45 pm
From a few days ago - nice and honest :)

One thing they have in common is that none of them is still in this year's Tour :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 09, 2017, 07:29:28 pm
Medical report for today's massacre: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DET2XFNXUAAbf28.jpg
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 09, 2017, 07:41:16 pm
FFS! SD Millar & TV's *** Boulting sort it out!

Elmer FuddJakob Fuglsang. It's either "Full-sang" or "Fuggle-sang". Make yer feckin' minds up . . .

PS Always sedd Di2 wuz pants

PPS EC/NC Boardman sez "Foogle-sang". I give up!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 09, 2017, 08:13:03 pm
Interesting comments from Thomas on his crash:

http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/geraint-thomas-massively-disappointed-to-crash-out-of-tour-de-france-340724 (http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/geraint-thomas-massively-disappointed-to-crash-out-of-tour-de-france-340724)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: andyoxon on July 09, 2017, 08:31:50 pm
Aru attacking when Froome has a technical. Poor form.

I note that there were some comments about whether 'yellow jersey etiquette' may have been taken too far.  A yellow jersey crash or the like, yes, but a rear mech issue, that may be down to team Sky, etc...

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 09, 2017, 08:51:31 pm
Team release regarding injuries to Porte:

http://www.velonews.com/2017/07/news/road/tour-doctor-porte-afraid_443211 (http://www.velonews.com/2017/07/news/road/tour-doctor-porte-afraid_443211)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 09, 2017, 08:54:40 pm
Aru attacking when Froome has a technical. Poor form.

I note that there were some comments about whether 'yellow jersey etiquette' may have been taken too far.  A yellow jersey crash or the like, yes, but a rear mech issue, that may be down to team Sky, etc...

It was similar to when Contador saw Schleck's chain come off and use it as a launchpad to attack. Some riders are happy to engage in such tactics, whilst others would not take advantage if any of the leaders experience a temporary issue.

I note that after the race Aru said he didn't know Froome had an issue. Video evidence suggests he launched his attack from behind Froome as soon as he saw Froome raise his arm and look back for assistance.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 09, 2017, 09:11:37 pm


I note that after the race Aru said he didn't know Froome had an issue. Video evidence suggests he launched his attack from behind Froome as soon as he saw Froome raise his arm and look back for assistance.

Every good story needs a villain.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 09, 2017, 09:40:22 pm
W Barguil:FFS, D Martin, couldn't u have kicked R Uran's derailleur a bit harder? Also, I am not Bethany's Dad!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on July 09, 2017, 10:31:27 pm
Froome looking pretty strong.

Am I mistaken in thinking that there seems to be more gear shifting trouble this year?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 09, 2017, 11:04:04 pm
When do we expect the manufacturers to come up with a dedicated, super lightweight hub dynamo so that SuperErgoDeeYihTooEPS won't run out of power . . . ? Or would that fall foul of the UCI's 'mechanical doping'?

Should make them all use Mavic Mechtronic or Zap. That should see a conversion back to cables sharpish!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 09, 2017, 11:41:13 pm
Froome looking pretty strong.

Am I mistaken in thinking that there seems to be more gear shifting trouble this year?

Uran had a bent hanger after a collision which caused a problem of misalignment so Mavic Service car just yanked it out and effectively trashed it into the 11 tooth.  Front mech was OK and he changed from 39 to 53 so battery OK.

Froome had gear problems and reason not known (or being divulged).  How many others?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 10, 2017, 12:36:38 am
Didn't Cav have an issue with them on one stage last year?

ETA: I think Pantano had a gear problem yesterday too, and much earlier in the stage than Froome.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: asterix on July 10, 2017, 07:24:06 am
Interesting comments from Thomas on his crash:

http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/geraint-thomas-massively-disappointed-to-crash-out-of-tour-de-france-340724 (http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/geraint-thomas-massively-disappointed-to-crash-out-of-tour-de-france-340724)

Quote
“I knew something was wrong. Normally, you can just get up and get going again. You just have to accept it.”


Obviously not on what Tyler Hamilton used to take.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 10, 2017, 08:20:02 am


I note that after the race Aru said he didn't know Froome had an issue. Video evidence suggests he launched his attack from behind Froome as soon as he saw Froome raise his arm and look back for assistance.

Every good story needs a villain.

+1.

You can make the video fit that story but you can't actually see it.

http://sport.francetvinfo.fr/tour-de-france/video-tour-de-france-2017-9e-etape-aru-attaque-froome-au-ralenti

From what I heard on the radio, Aru cut his attack when he heard that CF had problems.  That didn't stop CF trying to shove Aru off the road a bit later on. You don't hear so much about that.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 10, 2017, 09:20:26 am
Can't see the video because of rights, but assuming its the same footage we saw over here, indeed, you can't really be certain of the relative positions of Froome and Aru when Froome put his arm up.  Even Froome said he wasn't sure. Aru's frustration at the neutralisation of his attack was pretty evident a bit later, though.  *** and Super D did comment on Froome's shoulder barge, with a combination of incredulity and wry amusement, but I don't recall anyone asking Froome about it afterwards.

Perhaps a hard-hitting investigative journalist will bring it up during the rest day (http://www.northstandchat.com/images/smilies/flyingpig.gif)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 10, 2017, 09:23:27 am
From what I heard on the radio, Aru cut his attack when he heard that CF had problems.  That didn't stop CF trying to shove Aru off the road a bit later on. You don't hear so much about that.

You get a good picture of what happened via the various interviews on the cycling podcast. The protatgonists are trying to downplay both events (the Aru attack, and the Froome 'shove'), but my feeling is that both events happened, given what has been said by those cycling around them at the time.

Aru's denial is compared to the Trump denial of Russian involvement in their elections, and Froome is most probably aware that downplaying the whole situation is better from a media perspective than making something of it, which could quite easily backfire.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 10, 2017, 09:55:10 am
Gosh, imagine how much we'd be talking about Aru's attack if it had actually had any bearing on the outcome of the race.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 10, 2017, 10:16:18 am
I am tired of people expecting riders to wait for others’ mechanical problems, crashes, toilet breaks, etc. Treating the race as a race would simplify things for everyone.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 10, 2017, 10:41:43 am
If Aru had managed to get away, win the stage and take yellow it'd be on the front page of the Daily Heil as yet another example of how beastly FOREIGNS are and how "we" can't trust them over Brexit :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 10, 2017, 10:48:10 am
I am tired of people expecting riders to wait for others’ mechanical problems, crashes, toilet breaks, etc. Treating the race as a race would simplify things for everyone.

Etiquette in pro-cycling has a long reach back into history. 
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 10, 2017, 10:50:29 am
Well we can't trust them. Over Brexit. I mean, they don't have our best interest at heart. Which is just wrong, because our best interest are more important than there tiny little insignificant 27 country alliance.



Warning: This post may contain IRONY
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 10, 2017, 11:07:46 am
I am tired of people expecting riders to wait for others’ mechanical problems, crashes, toilet breaks, etc. Treating the race as a race would simplify things for everyone.

But it was the riders who made the decision, so if you don't like it then go and complain to the riders!

Or simply stop watching it and go and watch something where 'anything goes'.

Etiquette in pro-cycling has a long reach back into history. 

And an important aspect of the sport which is passed from generation to generation.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 10, 2017, 11:21:24 am
The history of etiquette in cycling is pretty chequered. Even in epochs and circumstances where there existed a general expectation to stop, it was flaunted often enough to make the trend debatable.

Mechanical problems are extremely common nowadays, with electric derailleurs that can’t be trusted to last a stage, ultra-fast tyres that puncture more often in 200 km of beautiful tarmac than my tyres do in 1000 km of Paris streets, etc.

There should be a cost to these choices of equipment, notionally chosen as they are for marginal gains. Likewise, there should be a cost to falling off on a corner while others don’t, botching a shift, or getting sick. It’s a race! Own your decisions and race.

Waiting is not even good sportsmanship if it’s expected. It is this expectation (especially by the victim, e.g. Froome yesterday) that frustrates the race, not the act of sometimes waiting, which might indeed be good sportsmanship if the expectation didn’t exist.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 10, 2017, 11:28:22 am
ITYM "flout", not "flaunt". ;)

Nothing personal, but it's amazing how many times I have seen that word confusion occur across the interwebs.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 10, 2017, 11:48:59 am
I certainly do! Thanks for pointing that out.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 10, 2017, 12:10:56 pm
The use of etiquette seems vary. Quintana wasn't so kind to Tom Dumoulin in the Giro as he was to Froome yesterday.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: pdm on July 10, 2017, 12:18:57 pm
I suspect that, except for a very few, the crowd that waited were on the rivet at the time and welcomed the respite the respect to Yellow provided!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 10, 2017, 12:59:56 pm
Warning: This post may contain IRONY

Like the one Didier Rous ran into in 2002.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 10, 2017, 01:03:11 pm
I am tired of people expecting riders to wait for others’ mechanical problems, crashes, toilet breaks, etc. Treating the race as a race would simplify things for everyone.

But it was the riders who made the decision, so if you don't like it then go and complain to the riders!

Or simply stop watching it and go and watch something where 'anything goes'.

Etiquette in pro-cycling has a long reach back into history. 

And an important aspect of the sport which is passed from generation to generation.

...and boils down to "sprinters may behave like thugs but climbers are gentlemen".  :P ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 10, 2017, 01:09:04 pm
The use of etiquette seems vary. Quintana wasn't so kind to Tom Dumoulin in the Giro as he was to Froome yesterday.

And that is why there was so much rejoicing when Tom beat Nairo.  Perhaps Nairo benefitted from a debrief on what he should/could have done instead of what he did.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 10, 2017, 01:13:56 pm
Etiquette appears to be whatever the peloton decides it is at the time, and because there are times when rival riders or teams may need to work together for mutual benefit, it is as much a matter of naked self interest as it is altruism. Favours and karma are vital currency, and if you flick others too often, no-body is going to shed any tears if, say, you get caught the wrong side of a cross wind-induced break.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 10, 2017, 01:17:06 pm
withdrawals ...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: rafletcher on July 10, 2017, 01:21:54 pm

There should be a cost to these choices of equipment,

But who decides what equipment is used? The team, or the sponsor providing said equipment?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 10, 2017, 01:45:45 pm
Remembering the hoo-hah when Jeannie Longo insisted on using her own pedals, I'd guess it'd be determined by the team's contract with the sponsor.

http://www.nytimes.com/1992/06/06/sports/06iht-bike.html

Quote
Her next, and bigger, fight involved the federation. Although the French team had a contract to use Look pedals exclusively, Longo insisted that she could not use any but the pedals made for her by the Time company. It was not a question of endorsements, she insisted, noting that she did not receive a fee from Time, but a matter of fit.

Fearing the loss of a major sponsor because she refused to switch pedals, French officials dropped her from the 1991 world championship squad. When she announced that she was considering changing citizenship and riding for Monaco or Luxembourg in the Olympic Games, the federation said that it would not stand in her way. She did not pursue the option, choosing instead to skip the world championships and sue the federation.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 10, 2017, 01:59:00 pm
Remembering the hoo-hah when Jeannie Longo insisted on using her own pedals, I'd guess it'd be determined by the team's contract with the sponsor.

http://www.nytimes.com/1992/06/06/sports/06iht-bike.html

Quote
Her next, and bigger, fight involved the federation. Although the French team had a contract to use Look pedals exclusively, Longo insisted that she could not use any but the pedals made for her by the Time company. It was not a question of endorsements, she insisted, noting that she did not receive a fee from Time, but a matter of fit.

Fearing the loss of a major sponsor because she refused to switch pedals, French officials dropped her from the 1991 world championship squad. When she announced that she was considering changing citizenship and riding for Monaco or Luxembourg in the Olympic Games, the federation said that it would not stand in her way. She did not pursue the option, choosing instead to skip the world championships and sue the federation.

If my memory serves, commentators or the cycling press have, in the past, talked about riders using re-badged kit, or simply having the logos and branding taped over.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 10, 2017, 02:05:18 pm

There should be a cost to these choices of equipment,

But who decides what equipment is used? The team, or the sponsor providing said equipment?

Doesn’t matter. If it’s the sponsor, then there should be a cost to having that sponsor, etc., etc. The bicycle is a solved problem. If a sponsor wants to use experimental equipment for the sake of sales, as Shimano does with Di2, tough luck.

The present arrangement mitigates the cost of using bad equipment (or equipment extremely biased to speed until it stops working), since if it fails at a critical juncture, you can expect your opponents to wait for you.

I know this is a simplification, because when they’re already racing, no-one is expected to wait. But as the sport has become more rationalised, modernised, and professional, the time spent racing has increased. I maintain the whole stage should be treated as a race.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Little Jim on July 10, 2017, 02:17:53 pm
Remembering the hoo-hah when Jeannie Longo insisted on using her own pedals, I'd guess it'd be determined by the team's contract with the sponsor.

http://www.nytimes.com/1992/06/06/sports/06iht-bike.html

Quote
Her next, and bigger, fight involved the federation. Although the French team had a contract to use Look pedals exclusively, Longo insisted that she could not use any but the pedals made for her by the Time company. It was not a question of endorsements, she insisted, noting that she did not receive a fee from Time, but a matter of fit.

Fearing the loss of a major sponsor because she refused to switch pedals, French officials dropped her from the 1991 world championship squad. When she announced that she was considering changing citizenship and riding for Monaco or Luxembourg in the Olympic Games, the federation said that it would not stand in her way. She did not pursue the option, choosing instead to skip the world championships and sue the federation.

If my memory serves, commentators or the cycling press have, in the past, talked about riders using re-badged kit, or simply having the logos and branding taped over.

There was an article on road.cc last week with photos of various bikes with carefully applied black tape over various non-sponsor company logos.

See also the Castelli Gabba jersey of a few years ago when the pros started buying their own and using a black marker pen to black out the Castelli logo, Castelli then responded with special edition jersey that came in a presentation box along with a black marker pen!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 10, 2017, 02:50:35 pm


I know this is a simplification, because when they’re already racing, no-one is expected to wait. But as the sport has become more rationalised, modernised, and professional, the time spent racing has increased. I maintain the whole stage should be treated as a race.

I prefer my sport more nuanced—more go than draughts.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 10, 2017, 02:53:07 pm
Merckx was once interviewed about fair play riding, there was a quote from another rider saying that Merckx had waited after his rival had punctured, but Merckx denied it.  As far as he was concerned punctures are part of the course.

Toilet breaks and someone scattering tacks on the road are points where you should wait.  If someone chooses to ride with less durable tyres for weight benefit and punctures, or if someone removes their chain catcher for the same reason and their chain unships, then they have to deal with the consequences.  Riders don't wait for punctures in time trial stages.

I think the biggest issue is that it becomes a popularity contest, riders wait for Popular Froome but not for second tier riders like Dumoulin.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 10, 2017, 03:00:26 pm
Nope. Its a yellow jersey thing.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 10, 2017, 03:07:10 pm
Yes - sort of.  If the yellow jersey stops then everyone stops; if one of his close rivals stops then everyone stops, but only if the yellow jersey stops to wait.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: PeteB99 on July 10, 2017, 04:46:10 pm
It's a money thing. The Team owners/Sponsors/TV Companies/Spectators who pay the riders wages want a consistent product.

For the occasional WTF happened there stage journeyman A beating Journeyman B is acceptable but the main interest is in the big names, Froome vs Porte vs Quintana vs Contador. The riders won't deliberately wreck the spectacle
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: DuncanM on July 10, 2017, 05:29:43 pm
It's a money thing. The Team owners/Sponsors/TV Companies/Spectators who pay the riders wages want a consistent product.

For the occasional WTF happened there stage journeyman A beating Journeyman B is acceptable but the main interest is in the big names, Froome vs Porte vs Quintana vs Contador. The riders won't deliberately wreck the spectacle
It might also be that the riders in that select group are all thinking that it could be them. If you think "1 good day here and I'm in yellow", you are likely to argue that yellow should have privilege.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 10, 2017, 05:37:53 pm
The collective aim of the peloton is to arrive in Paris. That's best achieved if someone is in charge of moderating the pace of the racing. Tours fall into two types, either with or without a 'Patron'. Froome's a 'Patron' as he's won three Tours.

The ideal stage from a collective point of view, has a climactic finish, but no-one is eliminated. Aru's attack was a challenge to the Patron, and Froome responded. FdJ can either blame Aru or Froome for the elimination of much of their team. Leadership of the Tour is a diplomatic position.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 10, 2017, 05:57:16 pm
There was an occasion earlier in the week when G apparently stopped for a slash quite early in the stage.  Super D didn't quite call it "fake news" but did state that such behaviour was a not uncommon form of gamesmanship.

FdJ can blame who they like for the elimination of half their squad but the #1 person in the frame is Démare, closely followed by whoever had the bright idea of ordering the domestiques to stay with him.  Yes,  Démare had been unwell but if he was that poorly he should have withdrawn before the start instead of dragging the other poor sods down with him.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 10, 2017, 05:58:27 pm
No one waited for Eugene Christophe on the Tourmalet!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 10, 2017, 06:02:15 pm
Wasn't it Anquetil who said, "We are not sportmen, we are professionals!"?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 10, 2017, 06:21:39 pm
Dunno, but itvwas definitely Geraint Thomas who said "we're not paid to entertain, we're paid to win races".
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 10, 2017, 06:45:12 pm
Froome's positions Patron will have been enhanced by all the recent drug talk. He's not a goody two-shoes after all.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 10, 2017, 06:48:05 pm
The collective aim of the peloton is to arrive in Paris. That's best achieved if someone is in charge of moderating the pace of the racing. Tours fall into two types, either with or without a 'Patron'. Froome's a 'Patron' as he's won three Tours.

The ideal stage from a collective point of view, has a climactic finish, but no-one is eliminated. Aru's attack was a challenge to the Patron, and Froome responded. FdJ can either blame Aru or Froome for the elimination of much of their team. Leadership of the Tour is a diplomatic position.

Poor old Arnaud Demare. Strange that he couldnt make the time cut. He didnt have any problem getting over the Cipressa at last year's MSR before going on to win it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 10, 2017, 07:19:03 pm
Dunno, but itvwas definitely Geraint Thomas who said "we're not paid to entertain, we're paid to win races".

I think the race organisers want entertainment, whereas the riders want money/glory/a continuing career.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 10, 2017, 08:32:29 pm
First Rest Day

W Barguil:O hai! I am W Barguil and I am made ov teh Win! But liek I said last night, I am not Bethany’s father...
Bethany (7):wha’evs!
Bethany’s Mum:Bef’ny! ‘ave u cleaned yore teef?
Bethany (7):Yes, Mum! I fink one ov em’s come loose though!
Bethany’s Mum:Vey’ll orl be loose if u doan get a bleedin’ move on! U doan wanna be l8 4 skool agen, do u?
Bethany (7):wha’evs! (Aside…) Still, it’s a rest day so I’m not liek I’m missing anything!
G Imlach:Look here, young lady, we’ve been working our donkeys off 2 edumatain u proles!
Bethany (7):wha’evs!
G Imlach:OK, TV’s Super D Millar and *** Boulting, summarise teh race without deviation, repetition, er, hesitation, complaint or sarcasm!
N Boulting:It wouldn’t be teh same!
SD Millar:M Cavendish CP Sagan A Démare M Kitteh!
N Boulting:G Thomas C Froome! L Calamityjane, W Barguil, F Aru. R Porte.
G Imlach:BRITONS! Do ur duty!
G Thomas:Pub?
Omnes:Pub!
D Friebe:O hai! O hai C Froome! Aru? AG2R?
C Froome:Wnkr! I could have him killed. 2 DETH! But I didn’t try 2 barge him into touch. Honest. No, rly! R Bardet!
Bethany (7):wha’evs!
G Imlach:Now S Yates! Mind ur fukn language! AG2R?
S Yates:Soz! Anyway! And we’ll see what happens!
Bethany (7):wha’evs!
D Friebe:D Martin, enlightenment!
D Martin:C me bounce, liek teh innocent Derek Bentley! Also, there is still a long way 2 go!
Bethany (7):wha’evs!
G Imlach:S Thwaites!
Omnes:Who he?
S Thwaites:Oi! M Cavendish. B-Dog. Take it day by day. Ect ect.
Bethany (7):wha’evs!
G Imlach:TV’s D Friebe, hill us with climbs, d00d!
D Friebe:Er, how?
G Imlach:Er. TV’s Nice C Boardman! SCIENCE us!
NC Boardman:Warm-down. Bollocks? Not bollocks? Yes. No. Who cares?
Bethany (7):Not me, that’s 4 sure!
G Boardman:At least he didn’t use me 4 a guinea pig this year!
G Imlach:So there u haz it!
Bethany (7):Told u I wasn’t missing anything! This toof is definitely loose though…

2moro on “South-ov-FranceEnders”: Will there be further fallout from Arugate? Which prominent member ov teh pelican will TP Fairy visit next? Will Bethany (7) find out who her father really is? And will Super D Millar finally break out a daft hat? Stay tuned 2 P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® 4 all ur TdF lies!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 10, 2017, 11:30:34 pm

There should be a cost to these choices of equipment,

But who decides what equipment is used? The team, or the sponsor providing said equipment?

Doesn’t matter. If it’s the sponsor, then there should be a cost to having that sponsor, etc., etc. The bicycle is a solved problem. If a sponsor wants to use experimental equipment for the sake of sales, as Shimano does with Di2, tough luck.

<snippage>
yeahbut the uprong isn't the best of solutions. Or for that matter even the best solution already available. 😈
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mzjo on July 11, 2017, 06:31:19 am
Remembering the hoo-hah when Jeannie Longo insisted on using her own pedals, I'd guess it'd be determined by the team's contract with the sponsor.

http://www.nytimes.com/1992/06/06/sports/06iht-bike.html

Quote
Her next, and bigger, fight involved the federation. Although the French team had a contract to use Look pedals exclusively, Longo insisted that she could not use any but the pedals made for her by the Time company. It was not a question of endorsements, she insisted, noting that she did not receive a fee from Time, but a matter of fit.

Fearing the loss of a major sponsor because she refused to switch pedals, French officials dropped her from the 1991 world championship squad. When she announced that she was considering changing citizenship and riding for Monaco or Luxembourg in the Olympic Games, the federation said that it would not stand in her way. She did not pursue the option, choosing instead to skip the world championships and sue the federation.

Around the time of this event there was also a french track sprinter whose name I have forgotten (shame on me) who had a bike contract with Corima which the FFC forced him to dump on excessive pressure from Look enforcing their exclusive contract with the FFC. There was a lot of bad blood over it at the time. The rider was the one who started riding keirin in Japan for experience (and money) and was part of the reigning Olympic (or world, can't remember which) tandem sprint champion crew 'cos the UCI dumped it as a discipline afterwards. The Corima frame was reckoned superior to the team issue Look and Corima continued supplying wheels (allowed to shut them up I think).

Edit after googling - it was Fréderic Magné I think.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 11, 2017, 08:43:04 am
Nope. Its a yellow jersey thing.
Clearly not a Maglia Rosa thing.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 11, 2017, 09:32:08 am
Poor old Arnaud Demare. Strange that he couldnt make the time cut. He didnt have any problem getting over the Cipressa at last year's MSR before going on to win it.

IMHO he should be checking in with his cardiologist.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 11, 2017, 09:38:14 am
Démare was sick. I suspect Madiot only sent all those team-mates back to help him – and therefore out of the Tour – because Démare was draped in the French flag, something Madiot takes very seriously (that’s why Démare had no sponsor logos on his jersey, by the way).
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 11, 2017, 12:54:33 pm
R Majka a DNS today.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 11, 2017, 01:04:14 pm
R Majka a DNS today.

Hardly surprising:

Quote
Bora-Hansgrohe team doctor Jan-Niklas Droste expounded on Majka's injuries.

"Directly after the stage we went to the medical truck of the Tour, but decided to go to the hospital for further examinations and to be sure that especially his spine is okay," Droste said. "He suffers from heavy contusions and can hardly breath because of the pain. He also lost a lot of skin and has some deep excoriations. From a safety perspective it's best to leave the Tour now and take some rest to recover."

http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/rafal-majka-withdraws-from-the-tour-de-france/
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 11, 2017, 01:28:32 pm
Poor old Arnaud Demare. Strange that he couldnt make the time cut. He didnt have any problem getting over the Cipressa at last year's MSR before going on to win it.

IMHO he should be checking in with his cardiologist.

My post was a subtle dig. Demare wont be missed by the rest of the riders.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 11, 2017, 02:11:39 pm
I am starting to think Super D, Nice C and *** have started celebrating ***'s birthday already.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 11, 2017, 02:34:32 pm
Poor old Arnaud Demare. Strange that he couldnt make the time cut. He didnt have any problem getting over the Cipressa at last year's MSR before going on to win it.

IMHO he should be checking in with his cardiologist.

My post was a subtle dig. Demare wont be missed by the rest of the riders.

Whatever. La Cipressa << stage 9.  And if it's not his pharmacist who's failing I meant that about the cardio.  In 2007 I did PBP at the age of 60, went up the Ventoux in 2h20 a month later, and failed a stress test two months after that. It creeps up on you.


Anyway, here we go again for another boring flattie with a bout of thuggery at the end of it. Hope they spare the blood this time.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 11, 2017, 02:59:48 pm
I'm home from work early today. Tis a shame today isn't a decent hilly stage for me to enjoy live.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 11, 2017, 03:00:56 pm
Scenery's nice.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 11, 2017, 03:17:52 pm
I'm glad it's not as exciting as yesterday Sunday - it means I'm actually able to focus on getting some work done...

(corrected with thanks to T42 for highlighting my schoolboy error)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 11, 2017, 03:19:25 pm
You're right, the rest day was more exciting.

Even the sprint was boring. Miaow.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 11, 2017, 04:36:30 pm
Where on earth was A Greipel ???
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 11, 2017, 04:47:50 pm
Fell asleep with 5km to go. Did I miss anything?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 11, 2017, 04:51:27 pm
It was a recovery ride
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 11, 2017, 05:18:58 pm
I'm glad it's not as exciting as yesterday Sunday - it means I'm actually able to focus on getting some work done...

(corrected with thanks to T42 for highlighting my schoolboy error)

Yebbut you were right all the same.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 11, 2017, 05:20:45 pm
Stage 10: Périgueux->Bergerac

G Imlach:O hai! And o hai 2 TV’s Nice C Boardman! Comment!
NC Boardman:O hai! Teh race needs clearly defined areas ov doubt and uncertainty1!
G Imlach:R-i-i-i-i-ght! TV’s D Friebe, tell us Stuffs!
D Friebe:O hai! I, TV’s D Friebe, haz here snottyjumper-wearing hair model & fish-botherer M Kitteh.
M Kitteh:O hai! I liek fish! Also, miaow!
D Friebe:So can u pwn all teh remaining sprint sprint sprintEEEEs in teh race?
M Kitteh:Yes. No. Miaow!
D Friebe:Sometimes I hate this job!
N Boulting:O h… mic.. ne… nt…
SD Millar:And a happy birthday 2 u, ***!
N Boulting:FdJ. Stupidz or what?
SD Millar:More Stupidz than D Tяump after a dose ov liquid cosh. Rain. Reboot!
N Boulting:France. Trés French. W Barguil. R Bardet. B Bargeld. T Barman! Trebles all round! Hic!
Bethany (7):Isn’t it a bit early 4 that, ***? Super D, plz 2 keep him under control @ lunchtiem! U owe me, remember!
Shortly…
C Prudhomme:OK. Off u fck!
Y Offredo:O hai! I am Y Offredo and I am well weapon, me! But not weapon enuff 2 do 180 km on mi own!
É Gesbert:O hai! I am É Gesbert and I am a firestarter. A twisted firestarter! I am in teh break 2 avoid teh pelican taking teh piss!
800 Journalists:FAIL – u haz it! World+Dog iz now doning teh lulz @ u, É Gesbert!
É Gesbert:Piss!
K Flint:It’s not funny!
Omnes:Oh. Yes. It. Is!
In a bit…
SD Millar:Châteaux! Citröens! Bored now!
N Boulting:Indeed! Let us see what sumptuous repast Mine Host has prepared 4 us! Radio’s M Smith and ur hostage, do ur thing!
M Smith:O hai TV’s M Smith 2 u and mi. Guest is T Pidcock who is an angry young. Man.
T Pidcock:Say after me, M Smith, I must learn teh difference between “angry” and “cross”!
M Smith:Unwritten rules etiquette assault attack M Rendall!
M Rendall:Guten dio mihi tel koyaanikumquat! Reglorumque Arooooooo tischbein blong mŷn unaussprechlichen Külten! Quetzalcoatl og pingu? U bis de juge Robson Green!
Bethany (7):M Rendall, plz 2 tell me; what colour is teh sky on ur home planet?
M Rendall:Widgeon!
T Pidcock:Jelly babies!
M Smith:Tour de Yorkshire cobbles Hovis ha ha ha ha. Ha?
T Pidcock:Eh?
Omnes:That was shot in Dorset, u colossal bellend!
PM Moron:U called?
Omnes:No. No, we did not. F*uck off!
M Smith:M Beaumont world eighty days Russia crashomatic 6000.
M Beaumont:Ooh mi teefs!
Bethany (7):Tell me about it!
Later…
N Boulting:SD Millar is sulking again. NC Boardman, château!
NC Boardman:Yes. Rubbish maze thobut.
N Boulting:Vikings!
NC Boardman:Caves!
N Boulting:Caves?
NC Boardman:Caves!
N Boulting:Isn’t France brilliant?
Bethany (7):Bit quiet, then?
NC Boardman:Yes. Yes, it is.
N Boulting:Etiquette! Toilet break!
NC Boardman:Peer pressure!
Bethany (7):I see what u did there, Niec C lol!!1!
SD Millar:Aru! Teh Stupidz! It burns. Idiots.
N Farage:Well I say it just goes 2 show that u can’t trust a FOREIGN!
Omnes:Go away!
A good deal later…
N Boulting:Château! England! France! Eleanor ov Aquitaine!
N Farage:Unelected BureaucratTM, she was!
Omnes:Can’t we get a restraining order slapped on that gobshite, FFS?
NC Boardman:MischEEEvus!
SD Millar:MisCHIvus!
N Boulting:Call teh whole thing off?
NC Boardman & SD Millar:Wisest thing u said all day, ***!
Down teh river…
N Boulting:Sprint sprint sprintEEEE! Oh. That was a bit underwhelming!
A Greipel:lol @ M Kitteh!
N Bouhanni:Not interested. A Démare haz goned home. I hope hiz car breaks down!
M Kitteh:lol @ M Matthews! Also, miaow!
Into teh closing overs…
N Boulting:No rain. No wind. No fun!
SD Millar:AS-TA-NA! STU-PID? OR WHAT?
N Boulting:Yes, OK, Super D. U made ur point!
SD Millar:(Sulks again…)
N Boulting:Teh pelican is catching teh futile break. Oh, wait, they’re not! Or are they? OR ARE THEY?
SD Millar:(Sighs) Yes, ***. Yes, they is.
N Boulting:Yes, they did. Prepare 4 teh sprint sprint sprintEEEE!
EC Boardman:There’ll be a crash, just u wait & see! Heheheheheheheh and, moreover, roffle!
M Kitteh:C me bide mi tiem!
S Cummings:Oi! That’s mi line!
M Kitteh:Don’t knock it, it worked! Also, miaow!
A Greipel:WTF?
EC Boardman:(Sulks)
Bethany (7):Meh! Mountains, SVP!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 11, 2017, 05:25:05 pm
Where on earth was A Greipel ???

No idea, but I would have been richer by 30 Imperial Credits of the Realm had he won. I'm just about breaking even on this Tour, but some bugger I back needs to win soon!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 11, 2017, 05:28:34 pm
I suspect the odds against anyone other than M Kitteh winning a flat stage are long indeed by now.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 11, 2017, 05:40:58 pm
Where on earth was A Greipel ???

The Lotto-Soudal train delivered him perfectly to the finish line.

Only problem being it was an imaginary finish line about 500m ahead of the real one.

Where, for that matter, on earth was B Matthews?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 11, 2017, 06:04:31 pm
Do you mean M?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 11, 2017, 06:36:21 pm
Do you mean M?

I know what I mean!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 11, 2017, 07:55:15 pm
Caley Fretz for VeloNews has a nice critique of the waiting that has infested cycling, here (http://www.velonews.com/2017/07/commentary/the-tour-has-been-yellow-fleeced-by-unwritten-rules_443430). I agree with essentially all of it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 11, 2017, 08:09:20 pm
Caley Fretz for VeloNews has a nice critique of the waiting that has infested cycling, here (http://www.velonews.com/2017/07/commentary/the-tour-has-been-yellow-fleeced-by-unwritten-rules_443430). I agree with essentially all of it.

So do I.

I'm annoyed that Lionel Birnie nicked my Eugene Christophe gag though.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: asterix on July 11, 2017, 08:10:05 pm
Yes, and riders should indeed fix their own bikes like Christophe.  I like the ethos of the old TdF, the lonely, rough mountain tracks with no back up, every man for himself and gears? Who needs 'em?   

(http://la-legende-du-tour.sport.francetvinfo.fr/medias/videos/700/video_photo_620.jpg)

Christophe 1919.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 11, 2017, 08:19:39 pm
Meanwhile N Bouhanni has been given a minute time penalty and a 200 CHF fine for apparently throwing a punch  :o
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 11, 2017, 08:23:35 pm
Old habits die hard, eh? Though the two penalties are equally meaningless to him.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 11, 2017, 08:30:10 pm
Personally I'd rate attempted fisticuffs worse than the Crazy P Sagan incident, but perhaps I'm just hopelessly old-fashioned.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 11, 2017, 08:39:02 pm
The Tom Steels DSQ was the best one for a sprinter being kicked off the race for losing their rag.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TheLurker on July 11, 2017, 08:40:55 pm
Meanwhile N Bouhanni has been given a minute time penalty and a 200 CHF fine for apparently throwing a punch  :o
Only a matter of time before he has an unfortunate "accident" off camera involving his jaw and someone else's fist (or feet) methinks.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 11, 2017, 09:29:41 pm
Meanwhile N Bouhanni has been given a minute time penalty and a 200 CHF fine for apparently throwing a punch  :o

I saw he'd got that penalty as well. 

Sometimes cycling doesn't make sense. Why does Bouhanni get a 200 CHF (~£160) fine and a meaningless 1 minute penalty on GC for throwing a punch, whereas Sagan got kicked off the tour de france for a crash that, IMO, wasn't his fault? ???
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 11, 2017, 09:46:16 pm
......... whereas Sagan got kicked off the tour de france for a crash that, IMO, wasn't his fault? ???

Those that make the decisions considered Sagan was at fault and disagree with you on that one.

....... Why does Bouhanni get a 200 CHF (~£160) fine and a meaningless 1 minute penalty on GC for throwing a punch, .....

I can only assume those who make the decisions considered the severity of his actions and deemed a fine and time penalty was appropriate.

...... Sometimes cycling doesn't make sense.  .....

Ah, the joys of the justice system, only this time as applied to events in a cycle race!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 11, 2017, 10:07:55 pm
Caley Fretz for VeloNews has a nice critique of the waiting that has infested cycling, here (http://www.velonews.com/2017/07/commentary/the-tour-has-been-yellow-fleeced-by-unwritten-rules_443430). I agree with essentially all of it.

I don't, Christophe may have had the lead on the road, but he never led the GC. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1913_Tour_de_France#Stage_winners

The organisation has always fiddled with the rules to encourage more dramatic racing.

Quote
Although cyclists had started in teams previously, the rules had forbidden them to work together against other cyclists. In 1913, this changed, and cyclists from the same team were allowed to work together. The organizers preferred riders to ride solo, so they added a rule that if a cyclist would win a stage with a margin of 20 minutes or more, he would not only get his own prize money, but also the half of all the other cyclists' prize money of that stage.

The riders have responded with collective 'traditions' to get round.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 11, 2017, 10:12:46 pm
<snipped>
....... Why does Bouhanni get a 200 CHF (~£160) fine and a meaningless 1 minute penalty on GC for throwing a punch, .....

I can only assume those who make the decisions considered the severity of his actions and deemed a fine and time penalty was appropriate.

<snipped>

I think you meant to say "I can only assume those who make the decisions considered his nationality and deemed a fine and time penalty was appropriate."  :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 11, 2017, 10:31:19 pm
Elbow - very bad.
Fist - bad.
Shoulder - OK.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 11, 2017, 10:34:23 pm
Stage 10: Périgueux->Bergerac
...
M Rendall:Guten dio mihi tel koyaanikumquat! Reglorumque Arooooooo tischbein blong mŷn unaussprechlichen Külten! Quetzalcoatl og pingu? U bis de juge Robson Green!
...

What did he say?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 11, 2017, 11:10:00 pm
I think you meant to say "I can only assume those who make the decisions considered his nationality and deemed a fine and time penalty was appropriate."  :demon:

Not really as I believe the Chief Judge is Belgium and I doubt whether Bouhanni's nationality was a factor, unless you are suggesting they were being racist toward Sagan.

Also, if they were being unduly influenced by nationality, surely they would have conjured a get around to allow the 4 members of FDJ (and indeed other riders) to be reinstated, particularly as FDJ are a French team and the French National Champion was eliminated (albeit 2 of the FDJ chaps were not French).

I think you could be venturing into conspiracy theory regarding the actions of the race jury.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: asterix on July 12, 2017, 12:43:44 pm
"The guys that pull the most faces, you know, they're not the ones doing the most work.. " Cavendish

How true in life.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 12, 2017, 12:50:20 pm
"The guys that pull the most faces, you know, they're not the ones doing the most work.. " Cavendish

 ;D

I've always thought Wee Tommy V was a bit of a show pony.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 12, 2017, 12:54:32 pm
Nah, Voeckler did loads of [mostly futile] work in his innumerable breakaways. Not to mention hanging off the back of the peloton, just out of reach of the slipstream proper. What’s up with that?

Any hope of echelons today?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 12, 2017, 01:21:35 pm
*** just1 just said "big diesel engine". I may have to kill him utterly to DETH.

1: FSVO "just" - still catching up on recordin
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 12, 2017, 01:33:42 pm
Nah, Voeckler did loads of [mostly futile] work in his innumerable breakaways. Not to mention hanging off the back of the peloton, just out of reach of the slipstream proper. What’s up with that?

He had the potential to be a much more successful rider but always seemed more interested in gurning for the camera. Being a genuine GC contender is a lot harder work than fannying about and going for occasional stage wins.

I've always been more of a fan of Sylvain Chavanel. This year is his 17th consecutive appearance at the Tour de France.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 12, 2017, 02:07:50 pm
Jaja talking about the boringitude of Les Landes putting the peloton to sleep. They're not alone.

Now talking about mushrooms.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Basil on July 12, 2017, 02:18:08 pm
God.  This is dull.
I don't normally watch tennis,  but ........
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 12, 2017, 02:25:11 pm
I've always been more of a fan of Sylvain Chavanel. This year is his 17th consecutive appearance at the Tour de France.

Up to a point, Lord Copper. 17th start, but not consecutive.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 12, 2017, 02:29:46 pm
Armagnac now.

Oh, oh, wait... a puncture. Wow.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 12, 2017, 02:37:08 pm
Up to a point, Lord Copper. 17th start, but not consecutive.

AFAIK, he's started every year since 2001. Couple of DNFs though - 2007 and 2012 - so only 14 finishes to date. If he makes it to Paris this year, that will put him level with Stuart O'Grady on 15/17.

Joop Zoetemelk scored 16/16. And actually won the damn thing.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 12, 2017, 02:38:40 pm
Looks like some of the riders are bored too, and have decided to fall off to make things more interesting.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 12, 2017, 02:39:58 pm
(Checks figures)

You are right, Sir. My apologies.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 12, 2017, 02:40:39 pm
Beware the swinging nosebag.

Correction: not a nosebag, somebody rode over a bidet.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Basil on July 12, 2017, 02:47:09 pm
God.  This is dull.
I don't normally watch tennis,  but ........

Seems Mr Hoy thinks likewise.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 12, 2017, 02:56:06 pm
Correction: not a nosebag, somebody rode over a bidet.

Now that would be worth watching!  ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on July 12, 2017, 03:07:05 pm
A bidet?

We await coverage later from Pandemonium Productions of the bidet incident.
It could be a washout though.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 12, 2017, 03:13:21 pm
Well, this stage has been a load of arse... or was that the numerology segment we were just subjected to in an attempt to pass the time?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 12, 2017, 03:14:04 pm
Saw an article which mentioned that over the course of the Tour some 35,000 of the things get hurled into the ditch.

Speaking of which, I carefully kept our dogs in just now during a heavy shower. When I let them out, one of them promptly went and lay down with his arse in a puddle.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Vince on July 12, 2017, 03:30:28 pm
I've noticed the dedication of spectators. They make a tortuous journey through French traffic, wait for hours once the road is closed, then just as the action comes, they break off to chase a thrown water bottle.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on July 12, 2017, 03:39:28 pm
T42 - Nowt wrong with a dog keeping its own bum clean. Its when he starts complaining about your brand of shampoo and using all the hot water up that you should start being concerned.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 12, 2017, 03:56:23 pm
Well, this stage has been a load of arse... or was that the numerology segment we were just subjected to in an attempt to pass the time?

A load of old kabbalahs.

(http://legslarry.org.uk/BikeStull/coat_48.png)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 12, 2017, 04:15:47 pm
That was sooooo boring.  I as thinking maybe we need to bring back split stages, maybe a short sprinter stage followed by a quick crit, or have two short sprint stages in the same day.  Because this is so fcuking dull.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 12, 2017, 04:29:43 pm
Better now with Bodnar out in front
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 12, 2017, 05:03:08 pm
Anyone would think flat transitional stages were a New Thing or something.

Also, miaow!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 12, 2017, 05:18:01 pm
The ending wasn’t dull. And flat stages do usually play out a certain way. But something might be done to encourage better breakaways even when riders are tired and the day is considered to be one for the sprinters. We’ve had some pathetic breakaways in this Tour. If you’re covering the whole stage on TV, you want to see an hour of racing before the breakaway forms (and, in fairness, that has happened too in this Tour).

Also, it was anticlimactic to see Movistar move to the front during the long crosswind section and then waste energy there in the futile hope of Froome getting caught behind a split or crash but doing nothing to provoke that. Meanwhile, Sky and Froome sat well back on the leeward side, calmly saving lots of energy.

The more I see of Team Sky, the more I admire their smart racing. Never mind having the money to buy the best cyclists; they drill more sense into them than the other teams do. It’s been impressive to watch Sky improve tactically. A few years ago they were pretty rubbish.

In a grand tour, saving small amounts of energy here, there, and everywhere matters a great deal.

Jaja was mentioned above. He often annoys me (not least when he talks about Froome). And he’s sometimes surprisingly off-target for a guy of his experience. For example, he has repeatedly said Kittel has won despite being badly placed, just because Kittel hasn’t gone into the final few hundred meters in second position. Sheesh. That’s one reason he has won! Maybe Jaja has forgotten what the wind feels like at 60 km/h.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 12, 2017, 05:23:40 pm
Stage 11: Eymet->Pau

N Boulting:O hai! I, TV’s *** Boulting, haz a headache…
Bethany (7):Poor *** lol!! Here iz how much sympathy I haz: 0. Ur as bad as mi Mum!
Bethany’s Mum:I ‘eard that, u little scrubber!
SD Millar:Armagnac slammers FTW, roffle!
N Boulting:I would kill u utterly 2 DETH, SD Millar, if I could see straight.
G Imlach:Stop it, children! Or u will go 2 bed without any supper, liek N Bouhanni!
N Bouhanni:One @ a time or all together, slags! Maeks no difference 2 me!
NC Boardman:Don’t, guv, ‘e’s not worf it!
Shortly…
C Prudhomme:OK, off u fck!
SD Millar:3 Charlies up teh road, FFS! I’m going back 2 bed!
N Boulting:Nooooooo! Don’t leave me here with a) an overhang and b) code-talking oddball M Rendall!
M Rendall:Spassibo! Wollastonite para lutefisk met mocha inout shakeitallabout! Autobahndreieck dué falange metalurgiquey boggler boggler beep? Big Vin Diesel Endjinn!
SD Millar:- .... .- - ... / . .- ... -.-- / ....- / ..- / ..--- / ... .- -.--!
N Boulting:I give up!
TP Fairy:O hai! I, TP Fairy, Enemy ov teh Proletariat and general bastardo, am on teh prowl! O hai, A Contador! Stab stabbity stabEEEE!
A Contador:Piss! Still, we approach teh Spaign-o, which will maek it much easier 4 me 2 sneak off home after C Froome kicks sand in mi face again!
C Froome:Kick! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Just call me “Mr Apollo”!
N Boulting:Right, tiem 4 fur ov teh dog! HAIR! M Smith and captive, maek with narrative!
B-Dog:Woof, woof! Sausages!
M Smith:O hai and o hai 2 JR Shand who. Iz mi slave today say hello JR Shand!
JR Shand:O hai! Y do I have 2 wear these handcuffs? I’m riding l’Etape!
M Smith:Right and now on teh electric telephone iz M Earley. Who iz a chiropractor in Staffordshire.
M Earley:I am not a fukn chiropractor u git!
FX: Anvil landing in skip full ov bottles
M Smith:Oooooh tetchy those were teh days!
JR Shand:I’m riding l’Etape1! What’s teh car battery and crocogator clips 4?
M Smith:Hahaha château EO Aquitaine those were teh days tomatoes!
JR Shand:Sounds liek fun. I’m riding l’Etape! Nearly 200 km!
AUK:Gosh, ur hard, roffle!
Repeat, with variations…
JR Shand:I’m riding l’Etape!
Nine hundred million pine trees later…
N Boulting:Les Landes! Napoléon III!
SD Millar:Foie gras!
NC Boardman:Bouhanni! Arsehole!
N Boulting:(Incomprehensible bobbins about French A-level)
NC Boardman:Insufficient châteaux! Money back, plz!
SD Millar:EO Aquitaine!
Nine hundred million pine trees later…
D Cataldo:O HAI! WHAT KIND OV FU-KN ID-I-OT LEAVES A BI-DET IN TEH ROAD?2
JR Shand:I’m riding l’Etape!
N Boulting:M Rendall, stultify statistify us!
M Rendall:Numerôlogo kabbalah došśardo! Nedwin hahahaha! Demi almirante didjit blong um septuagesima wildebeest! Leaf spring?
N Boulting:Get! Out!
Nine hundred million pine trees later…
N Boulting:R Bardet… back in teh beak ov teh pelican…
SD Millar:(Snoring…)
Nine hundred million pine trees later…
M Bodnar:O hai! Right, I iz off!
A Contador:So iz I. And not in a good way.
JJ Jarlinsson:Ph3@r not, A Contador! I, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking, will save u!
M Kitteh:M Bodnar! Bring him! Bring him 2 me! Also, miaow!
T Quickstep:Yeth, mathter!
M Bodnar:Piss!
M Kitteh:Mi! AOW! Iz liek playing Tetris!
Bethany (7):What did he just say?
JR Shand:I’m riding l’Etape!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 12, 2017, 06:15:13 pm
FFS Greipel, you useless prick. That's another 3 quid you've cost me! I just hope you're being deliberately shit to keep your odds going out before finally winning a stage...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 12, 2017, 06:16:40 pm
200m.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 13, 2017, 02:18:57 am
Greipel will probably get his act together on the Champs Elysée only for Bouhanni to nail him with a right cross 10 metres from the line.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 13, 2017, 08:30:40 am
Greipel will probably get his act together on the Champs Elysée only for Bouhanni to nail him with a right cross 10 metres from the line.

Any word on the back-story to Boo-Hoo's fisticuffs?  In an interview with French TV he just said that it was merited, and all we saw was the end of it; but he wasn't going to say any more and get bogged down in recriminations.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 13, 2017, 09:06:34 am
Blast. I was watching the highlights on Eurosport last night, and thought I was doing pretty well (not the riders – me!) inasmuch as I'd eaten the left-over homemade curry and rice, and lay down on the sofa. Saw Bidnor was still ahead with 3km to go, then woke up with some chap shouting "That's five for von Kittel!!" Oh well.

Actually, I realise NOW, I could have rewound it!!! Fool!!!

I'll try harder this evening.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 13, 2017, 10:00:29 am
An interesting video of Froome talking to Belgian TV. https://www.facebook.com/TeamSky/videos/10155679527294873/

He lived in Belgium for six months, and he modifies his speech patterns to fit in with the interviewer. That must make him popular with the media and the organisation.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 13, 2017, 10:13:52 am
"That's five for von Kittel!!"

He's doubtless a nice bloke but he's not that noble.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 13, 2017, 10:42:17 am
Today's stage should be a ripper....and if it isn't Froome wins. Aru has today and next Thursday to make up the 18 second deficit and get more time in hand to account for Froome's superior time trialling.

It isn't the final climb that offers the opportunities, it is the preceding two.  The Col Dr Menté looks bastard hard and with, as far as I can tell from the map, a tricky descent. Possible scope for Aru as he likes to attack on steep slopes. Alternatively, Col Dr Balés is also hard, and goes pretty much straight from the descent to the final climb and finish of the Peyresourde.

Froome has lost Thomas, but not only has Aru lost Cataldo but Fulsgang has fucked his hand in a crash yesterday.

Apart from the two main contenders Im hoping Bardet will light the blue touch paper.

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Vince on July 13, 2017, 10:54:14 am
Steve Cummings is in the break.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 13, 2017, 11:13:46 am
Can Aru et all really expect to get 2 mins on Froome in the next two mountain stages?  I think they need to isolate/force a crash/form a breakaway of leaders with Froome left out.  Unless they rig it as a group, it won't happen without a crash.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 13, 2017, 11:25:05 am
TV's P York reckons it's more likely to really kick off tomorrow and today's descents aren't rad and gnarly enough for R Bardet.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 13, 2017, 11:43:14 am
Shamelessly stolen from the BikeRadar thread for today's stage (http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=40002&t=13082457#p20175914):

"Apparently the finish is where they filmed a James Bond film. After two dull days hope for a lot of action tomorrow never dies. Froome will want his team to beat the living daylights out of his opponents with a view to kill them off before the weekend. The spectre of Aru looms though ready to take yellow should Sky fall. With good weather, no rain or thunder, ball to the wall descending from Bardet could take him from bronze position to gold. Finger and wrist problems for Fuglsang after his crash - we await the update from the team doctor. No such problems for Uran and Martin will want a win as having the best sprinter in the world is not enough for Quick Step. Contador will want a good performance to provide a quantum of solace to his dejected fans. Or maybe the break will live and let Di Data's Cummings have a chance."
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 13, 2017, 12:03:14 pm
Only one intermediate sprint. Kütteln to rejoin peloton after?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 13, 2017, 12:10:41 pm
There is always only one intermediate sprint these days, more’s the pity.

Damp weather may make the descent more difficult than expected.

Toss-up between Cummings and Froome for the stage?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 13, 2017, 12:44:00 pm
Say after me, TV's M Smith, I must learn the difference between "climatic" and "climactic". Fortunately P York went with what you meant and not what you said ;D

M Kitteh still in the lead froup!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 13, 2017, 02:31:10 pm
Hey! I've only just noticed the 'Live map' on Eurosport, following the TdF, and it follows one rider, but you can click on 'add more riders' (bottom-right) and scroll through who you'd like to add! Just click on 'Live map' to open it up. Excellent stuff.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 13, 2017, 02:46:42 pm
If you mouse-click the centre of each white 'pointer', as it trundles along the road, it'll bring up the individual rider and his speed (bottom-right)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 13, 2017, 03:35:39 pm
M Nieve doing a good impression of Kris Meeke at the end of Rally Mexico there!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Nuncio on July 13, 2017, 03:38:49 pm
I''m not watching and I don't understand the reference but are you talking about

Quote
16:28:19 CEST
It looks like Nieve went into the grass too and had to thread a needle by riding through the parked camper vans and over some poor family's picnic.

Time to go home now aand leave the texts udates - sounds like tonight's highlights will be good.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 13, 2017, 04:04:49 pm
Oops.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 13, 2017, 04:06:24 pm
That last bit went a bit up didn't it
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 13, 2017, 04:08:34 pm
I'm not sure that having a well-drilled team is all you need.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 13, 2017, 04:10:02 pm
some low gears would help :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 13, 2017, 04:11:12 pm
I''m not watching and I don't understand the reference but are you talking about

Quote
16:28:19 CEST
It looks like Nieve went into the grass too and had to thread a needle by riding through the parked camper vans and over some poor family's picnic.

Time to go home now aand leave the texts udates - sounds like tonight's highlights will be good.

Indeed. Kris Meeke was well in the lead approaching the last corner of the last stage of the rally until he overdid it and took an unscheduled detour through a car park.  Unlike C Froome, he still won :-\
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 13, 2017, 04:13:42 pm
While CF still had two pilot fish, Fr commentators were saying that either of them could have been #1 in another team.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 13, 2017, 04:34:28 pm
Closing out with SL2's 'On A Ragga Tip'? Someone at ITV's been reading my mind. ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 13, 2017, 04:39:48 pm
I''m not watching and I don't understand the reference but are you talking about

Quote
16:28:19 CEST
It looks like Nieve went into the grass too and had to thread a needle by riding through the parked camper vans and over some poor family's picnic.

Time to go home now aand leave the texts udates - sounds like tonight's highlights will be good.

Here's footage of the incident Monsieur le Mairie was referring to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mRoZBmnbPU
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 13, 2017, 04:47:11 pm
Stage 12: Pau->Peyragudes

G Imlach:O hai! 2day we visit teh place where Bond James Bond blew up loads ov Stuff & killed loads ov baddies utterly 2 DETH!
T Astana:O RLY! WE THOUGHT THAT WAS NEAR US!
G Imlach:No, T Astana. No, it was not. TV’s C Boardmen, pundit us!
EC Boardman:O hai! I, TV’s Evil C Boardman think that ur suggestion ov a henchman garrotting C Froome haz legs!
NC Boardman:O hai! I, TV’s Nice C Boardman, say teh other GC contenders need 2 stop attacking each other and attack C Froome.
EC Boardman:Yes, that’s what I said!
N Boulting:Come on, C Prudhomme, do ur thing!
C Prudhomme:Ur having a giraffe! It’s raining! I iz not sticking mi head-branes out ov teh motor until I absolutely haz 2!
SD Millar:O hai! 2day’s word iz “hyperbole”. HY-PER-BO-LE. Hyperbole! Iz S Cummings biding hiz tiem?
N Boulting:He may be. Or he may not. It iz important 2 keep ur hyperbole dry on a day liek this.
Bethany (7):o hai y they not saev this stage 4 teh weekend or teh holibobz teh gits??!? mi mum sez if I bunk of skool agen shell rip mi nippulz of teh fukn old c-o-w whats a gril 2 do eh txt me if anyfink hapenz xXx bthny
C Prudhomme:OK! Off u fck!
After a good deal ov pointless breaklets, catches, dicking about & W Barguil…
SD Millar:Sunweb. WTF they playing at? W Barguil!
N Boulting:On a day liek 2 day iz important not 2 let teh hyperbole out ov teh bag 2 soon!
M Kitteh:CAT! It’s “let teh CAT out ov teh bag”, u gr8 tool! Also, miaow!
After sum blipverts…
N Boulting:Break! w00t! S Cummings! TD Gendt! M Matthews! And M Kitteh!
M Matthews:If CP Sagan can do it then so can I!
M Kitteh:If M Matthews can do it then I, M Kitteh, can do it also. 4 sure and, moreover, miaow!
SD Millar:w00t indeed, ***! Now 2 that London, where M Smith and P York will lay sum hyperbole on us woo yeah baby!
P York:Just want 2 check, iz SD Millar behaving liek an adult 2day?
N Boulting:Yes. Yes, he is. 4 now…
M Smith:O hai! Aren’t Pyrenées brilliant!
P York:Yes. Yes, they are. If they are b4 Alps. Alps iz teh suxx0r! Bah!
Rather l8r than might be optimal…
Bethany (7):O hai! Wot’s teh score?
NC Boardman:0-0. Mite go 2 xtra tiem.
Bethany (7):ta NC! Tiem 4 skool dinner bleurgh chips beanz not a kumquat in site ffs i blaem teh slithy gove!
N Farage:Wash ur mouth out with soap, young lady! I bet ur one ov those remoaners!
Bethany (7):Hope I die b4 I get as old & stupidz as u, u gr8 sexist jizzbadger!
N Boulting:Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE!
M Matthews:Yay! MOAR points 4 me! LOL @ M Kitteh!
M Kitteh:Was it really worth all that effort, u silly Antipodean fule? Also, miaow!
N Boulting:Cat 2 climb coming! Danger and excitement! We’re off 2 lunch!
SD Millar:Got 2 feed ur inner hyperbole, innit!
After even yet MOAR shitverts…
N Boulting:Let us pause a second, Super D, and listen 2 this sonically-challenged Frenchman and his punk rock electric guitar!
ML Maire:(Ponders advisability ov playing punk rock electric guitar in pissing rain)
M Cavendish:V Nibbles iz a good descender compared 2 people who are not good descenders1!
Omnes:O RLY?
SD Millar:w00t! First cat climb!
M Kitteh:First kitteh on teh first cat lol! Tiem 4 me 2 disappear. Also, miaow!
S Cummings:C me bide mi tiem!
Up teh Menté…
M Matthews:C me sprint 4 teh spottypoints! I told u I was crazy!
TD Gendt:U utter git, M Matthews!
W Barguil:Thx, M Matthews!
Omnes:Cheese it, M Matthews, ur not CP Sagan and that is teh end ov it!
M Matthews:Where iz everyone?
Omnes:Do a wheelie lol!!
Up teh Khyber…
N Boulting:Tiem 4 Jackanory with Vsquared’s rnser 2 TV’s B Cribbins! M Rendall, gibberise teh view0rz!
M Rendall:Makalu, ti brat moi! Peyragude gwan mashup ik pemë ati fiara zaridaina! Wake up, Millar! Her tistê ku hêriyan bû? C Froome? Te pene o toku whaea keke, MOAR liek! Ace ov suede!
N Boulting:Very interesting. In parts.
M Rendall:Erokeria, ***! Çox sevirem!
Bethany (7):And N Farage haz teh nerve 2 call me a rudesby!
M Rendall:U speke Basque & Azerbaijani :o
Up teh Balés…
N Boulting:V Kiryienka! Wearing a V Kiryienka mask2!
SD Millar:Action, yes, conversation, no! GV Avermaet, E [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]ez, PT Voeckler! All fscked!
TD Gendt:O hai! I haz had teh spottyjumper b4 & by God! I shall haz it agane!
S Cummings:Tiem bided! O hai, TD Gendt!
TD Gendt:Urk!
J Birdsong:O bai! I pulled into Nazareth, was feeling ‘bout half past dead!
F Aru:WTF? Y mi team fall 2 bitz?
S Cummings:I iz out ov heah! Bai, TD Gendt!
TD Gendt:Arse!
T $ky:O hai, TD Gendt!
TD Gendt:FFS! Y everyone picking on me?
W Barguil:MOAR spottyjumper points 4 meeeeeeeeee! Yay!
Bethany (7):w00t! Even tho ur not mi dad after all!
C Gautier:Hello clouds hello sky hello mud! Oops! Back 2 teh pelican!
Up teh Peyresourde…
M Nieve:WTF! Where did teh road go?
C Froome:Never a dull moment, eh, readers!
Omnes:U only had 2 ride yesterday’s stage, C Froome, not watch it!
N Quintana:O hai! Mi naem iz I Montoya N Quintana! U killed mi father! And now u haz killed me. 2 DETH! Piss!
S Cummings:Bum! L8rs!
Bethany (7):I’m home! This iz MOAR liek it! Keep ur eye on that F Aru, C Froome! Tiem bonuses!
C Froome:Ur nana & eggses, Bethany (7)!
Bethany (7):Mi nana wouldn’t even recognise a eggs 2 tiems out ov 3!
Up teh Péragude…
A Contador:O hai! How far iz it 2 Spaign-o from here?
F Aru:Arooooooo! Ect. Oh.
R Bardet:Yay!
C Froome:WTF?
F Aru:\o/ Shinyjumper 4 meeeeeeee!
Bethany (7):That’s gonna liven things up a bit, innit!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 13, 2017, 05:02:09 pm
;D, also ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 13, 2017, 05:19:11 pm
I'm not sure that having a well-drilled team is all you need.

You are right. He needs a mystery package.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 13, 2017, 05:20:44 pm
Maybe Rupert should send more money.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 13, 2017, 06:58:12 pm
Any news on Porte?

<not reading posts since lunchtime until watching Highlights prog tonight>
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 13, 2017, 08:21:17 pm
Bennett & Uran given 20 second penalties for taking bottles inside the last 10 km.  But who was that chap in the AG2R jersey taking a bottle?  Could it have been R Bardet?

M. Chauvin: Et avez-vous un point?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 13, 2017, 11:31:51 pm
I will accept bias as he is on my fantasy tdf team, but it is not clear whether Bardet takes the bottle and drinks or whether he takes it, splashes water on himself and throws it away.  Is taking a bottle for a feed the same as taking a bottle and throwing it away in (almost) the same motion?  Guess we'll find out tomorrow.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Plug1n on July 13, 2017, 11:41:19 pm
Any news on Porte?

<not reading posts since lunchtime until watching Highlights prog tonight>

Well I watched some of today's feed on the US MSNBC feed with Phil and Paul (my best HD English soundtrack option).

Phil managed to drop a "...Richie Froome..." - just like the last few years  :facepalm:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 14, 2017, 01:17:49 am
Interpretation of the rule apparently infringed is probably open to question: "Feeding is prohibited on climbs, descents and during the first 50 and last 20 km", specifically what constitutes "feeding".
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 14, 2017, 09:15:08 am
Interpretation of the rule apparently infringed is probably open to question: "Feeding is prohibited on climbs, descents and during the first 50 and last 20 km", specifically what constitutes "feeding".

Ingesting something such as a fluid or solid or gel type substance?  And no need for 'did he swallow' debate as assume it enters the mouth then it is feeding!

As opposed to taking a bottle and dousing oneself?  I suppose a rider could have taken water for dousing from a team car or spectator.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 14, 2017, 09:34:26 am
Our parrot has started saying "w00t", with a mildly interrogative lift.

Meanwhile, what's with the nose ring?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 14, 2017, 09:52:29 am
Any news on Porte?

<not reading posts since lunchtime until watching Highlights prog tonight>

Well I watched some of today's feed on the US MSNBC feed with Phil and Paul (my best HD English soundtrack option).

Phil managed to drop a "...Richie Froome..." - just like the last few years  :facepalm:
Oh dear!

So I googled and found he bust his collarbone+pelvis but is otherwise fine (I think those two are enough for a day's work!)

This seems an unusually bad tour for losing top riders before half-way:
Valverde, Cav, Sagan, Thomas, Porte ...


Not a great day for FDJ either:
FDJ to lose four riders

Seven riders missed the time-cut and will not start Tuesday's stage and four of them – yes four  – all came from the same team. FDJ lost Ignatas Konovalovas, Jacopo Guarnieri and Mickaël Delage who were all, presumably, riding alongside their sprinter Arnaud Démare who went into the stage suffering with sickness.

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: PeteB99 on July 14, 2017, 09:54:37 am
Our parrot has started saying "w00t", with a mildly interrogative lift.

Meanwhile, what's with the nose ring?

A nasal dilator called Turbine

Link - may contain traces of woo

https://www.theturbine.com (https://www.theturbine.com)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 14, 2017, 10:39:11 am
So a UCI droid says "Doesn't matter who hands you the bottle: time penalty+fine". Some other droid tells Jonathan Vaughters that Urán was penalised because he was handed the bottle by a Cannondale employee, albeit one not connected directly to the team. George Bennett says "I got my bottle from a random fan and so did Bardet and A.N. Other-Frenchman".

Consistency? We've heard of it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 14, 2017, 10:43:00 am
The commissaires have got around the issue of Bardet allegedly getting away with taking a bottle in the closing km by reversing Uran's and Bennett's penalties. ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 14, 2017, 10:49:20 am
Interesting.  I was poking around letour.fr earlier and couldn't find any mention of any penalties at all.  Move along.  Nothing to see here.  Positively no black helicopters.  Not in the public interest.  National security ["Cont. p94 of 'Hansard'" - Ed.]
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 14, 2017, 11:01:53 am
Our parrot has started saying "w00t", with a mildly interrogative lift.

Meanwhile, what's with the nose ring?

A nasal dilator called Turbine

Link - may contain traces of woo

https://www.theturbine.com (https://www.theturbine.com)

It'd contain traces of more than woo at the end of the day.

Interesting.  I was poking around letour.fr earlier and couldn't find any mention of any penalties at all.  Move along.  Nothing to see here.  Positively no black helicopters.  Not in the public interest.  National security ["Cont. p94 of 'Hansard'" - Ed.]

It'll all come out when the urine samples are tested in 2030.

BTW letour.fr's search engine is rubbish. Search for "abandons" and you get a bunch of hits from 2016, yet the 2017 page is here: http://www.letour.fr/le-tour/2017/fr/abandons.html

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: PeteB99 on July 14, 2017, 11:33:33 am
Interesting.  I was poking around letour.fr earlier and couldn't find any mention of any penalties at all.  Move along.  Nothing to see here.  Positively no black helicopters.  Not in the public interest.  National security ["Cont. p94 of 'Hansard'" - Ed.]

Penalties for Uran and Bennett are still on LeTours Stage 12 results page.

I think I heard Mr Boardman saying last night that penalties are added to the riders overall time but not to the stage time so stage classification is unaffected  ???
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 14, 2017, 11:51:27 am
A chum (who's there) posting on Instagram of the 'finish' said people were booing Froome and journalists were laughing at him, struggling right at the very last. Quite shameful really.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 14, 2017, 11:55:14 am
I don't agree with booing Froome. 

Would we all cheer if an Italian, French or Belgian team spent ten times as much the other teams and won by basically buying the victory?  Coz that's how Sky are viewed by non-Brits.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: trekker12 on July 14, 2017, 12:01:28 pm
I don't agree with them booing either. It's better than throwing urine though which has precedent.

I felt Sky lost that. They had at least three riders with Froome all the way to that final climb. They had the tactical advantage. Hindsight is great but I've never seen Froome accelerate in the way Auru can, Contador could etc. He grinds up the mountains at a pace no one can match but he is nearly always on the back wheel when the first attack goes and he claws it back and rides past.

The steep uphill yesterday therefore immediately had him on the back wheel. With the strength in numbers they had they needed to drop that group over the previous summit to allow a buffer up the really steep finish which does not suit Froome's climbing style.

It might have been a bad day and I know he's nearly won up there before but in 2012 he and Wiggins went much earlier (Valverde went even earlier) and the race was much more splintered.

I've often wondered abut Sky's tactical ability, no matter how much you pay the riders.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 14, 2017, 12:10:48 pm
Penalties for Uran and Bennett are still on LeTours Stage 12 results page.
Cyclingweekly is running the time penalty reversal story.  Bad decision for me, time penalty is clear in this cse and it is also clear that Bardet should not be penalised as he is the best placed Frenchman.  When you guys get your own worthwhile national tour you can bend the rules too.


(It makes no difference, Bardet needs 2-3 mins on Froome to win the overall, it won't happen this year).
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 14, 2017, 12:57:29 pm
I watched the replay early this morning on Eurosport and I was thinking "bloody well attack ya twat!" He had two of the strongest domestiques. Should have splintered the group with 1-1.5km to go!

*that steep bit is a ROAD! haha...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 14, 2017, 01:05:43 pm
Mind you, after 214km I think I'd I've been pushing my bike up the last really steep bit. I know they are made from different material to us, but I'd still want every drug available, to keep me going day after day, cycling like that.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 14, 2017, 01:11:32 pm
Mind you, after 214km I think I'd I've been pushing my bike up the last really steep bit. I know they are made from different material to us, but I'd still want every drug available, to keep me going day after day, cycling like that.

Personally, I would have stopped at the pancake place at the top of the Peyresourde and not bothered with the last bit to Peyragudes.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mzjo on July 14, 2017, 01:27:47 pm
I'm not sure that having a well-drilled team is all you need.

You are right. He needs a mystery package.

Meublé Sky should consider retaining Vino as an adviser (totally independant of course, he couldn't be on the staff!). I am sure he could say what should be in a secret package.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 14, 2017, 01:34:05 pm
Mystery package, erm?!? Sorry I don't see that on sky's website. I see sky sports, sky sports, sky Atlantic and sky plus but no sky mystery :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 14, 2017, 01:48:42 pm
I watched the replay early this morning on Eurosport and I was thinking "bloody well attack ya twat!" He had two of the strongest domestiques. Should have splintered the group with 1-1.5km to go!

*that steep bit is a ROAD! haha...

Maybe he didn't attack because he didn't feel as if he had the oomph.  The French verdict was "c'est l'age...".
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 14, 2017, 01:53:47 pm
On a steep enough road, teammates are no help.

(Still useful to have around for stuff like bike failures, and general "minding" duties.)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 14, 2017, 02:10:37 pm
Vichot in trouble.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 14, 2017, 02:42:52 pm
If you watch closely its obvious what happened. Landa was looking like he wasn't trying whilstputting the pain on everyone else, whereas Froome even asked him to slow down.

Accidental swapping of jiffy bags. Simples.

Im really pleased. It'll make for a far more dynamic race over the next week.  I know there will be a few upset at the thought of Sky losing, especially Veloman who seems to have a boner for Froome.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 14, 2017, 02:51:23 pm
If you watch closely its obvious what happened. Landa was looking like he wasn't trying whilstputting the pain on everyone else, whereas Froome even asked him to slow down.

Everyone who did the Giro appears to be struggling to keep up in the Tour... except Landa.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: DuncanM on July 14, 2017, 02:53:24 pm
I don't agree with booing Froome. 

Would we all cheer if an Italian, French or Belgian team spent ten times as much the other teams and won by basically buying the victory?  Coz that's how Sky are viewed by non-Brits.
Then they aren't paying attention. Last year's budgets from L'Equipe:
http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/tour-de-france-team-largest-budget-262275
The only teams in the race they will have a 10x budget advantage will be the 2nd division teams.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 14, 2017, 03:06:47 pm
J Birdsong appears to be having a very bad day too.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 14, 2017, 03:33:22 pm
Bird has fugled off out of it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 14, 2017, 03:35:56 pm
If you watch closely its obvious what happened. Landa was looking like he wasn't trying whilstputting the pain on everyone else, whereas Froome even asked him to slow down.

Accidental swapping of jiffy bags. Simples.

Im really pleased. It'll make for a far more dynamic race over the next week.  I know there will be a few upset at the thought of Sky losing, especially Veloman who seems to have a boner for Froome.

Yawn, yawn Flatus and perhaps the posting says more about you than me.

I don't see Sky losing as what I'm currently watching just shows how strong Sky are and how they have more than one rider with GC options in their team. All the pressure on Aru or Landa in yellow jumper and Sky get another trophy for the front of the bus.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 14, 2017, 03:43:35 pm
Kiwi fading.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 14, 2017, 04:19:45 pm
I'm missing one hell of a race here aren't I stuck at work! time for highlights tonight!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 14, 2017, 04:30:28 pm
Yay and, moreover, w00t ~ Bethany (7), just now
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 14, 2017, 04:41:06 pm
@Bethany (7): :thumbsup:  On 14th July and all.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 14, 2017, 05:28:52 pm
Stage 13: Saint-Girons->Foix

G Imlach:O hai! Bottles!
NC Boardman:O hai! Bottles! No eating, no cheating, no looking out of teh window, no slang, no slide rules! Dividers may be used – NOT ON EACH OTHER! Rubbish rule!
G Bennett:O hai! What rules? I know nothing!
G Imlach:French rider? Bad show!
C Prudhomme:Bof! U Ingleesh!
Soon…
N Boulting:O hai! Futile break, total control, something in teh middle? A Contador?
SD Millar:O hai! Yes, no and maybe.
N Boulting:Thx 4 that, Super D! (Aside…) Idiot!
M Kitteh:At least teh sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE is only 13 km in 2da. Also, miaow!
C Prudhomme:OK. Off u fck!
PT Voeckler:C’est le 14 de Juillet! C me and my tongue attack!
W Barguil:And spottypoints 4 meeeeeeee!
J Birdsong:Oi, pelican! Plz 2 wait 4 me? I need you, oh how I need you! But all you do is treat me bad, break mi heart and leave me sad!
Omnes:Get tae fck, J Birdsong! Ur so-called Mum wasn’t even on that record!
Shortly…
N Boulting:And now P York!
M Smith:What about me?
N Boulting:Shut! Up!
P York:Did C Froome forget 2 eat hiz lunch yesterday? Or what?
AD Marchi:O hai! I am AD Marchi and I am made ov teh Win! Enough dckng abt, I iz off!
W Barguil:I, W Barguil, iz also off!
Bethany (7):Yay!
AD Marchi & W Barguil:Oh. Arse!
A Contador:Do not be fooled! I iz just looking 4 teh road 2 Spaign-o!
C Froome:M Landa! Discipline these miscreants!
M Landa:Yeth, mathter!
SD Millar:Wot a mess! Brilliant!
N Boulting:AG2R! M Landa! Virtual shinyjumper?
Up teh hill…
W Barguil:MOAR spottypoints 4 meeeeeeee!
Bethany (7):w00t!
SD Millar:AG2R!
Down teh hill…
C Froome:M Kwiatkowski! Kill them!
M Kwiatkowski:Yeth, mathter!
Round teh houses…
M Kwiatkowski:Thorry, mathter! A Contador & M Landa are 2 fatht!
C Froome:Then I am very much afraid I shall have 2 turn u into an okapi!
M Kwiatkowski:Oooh, thank u, mathter!
On teh moon…
W Barguil:w00t! MOAR spottypoints 4 meeeeee!
Bethany (7):Yay! U sure ur not mi Dad?
C Froome:Now I will kill u all! Except u, D Martin! I am saving u 4 later! Oh.
SD Millar:I no longer haz any idea what iz going on!
N Boulting:Nor I, Super D, nor I!
D Martin:O hai! I care not a fig 4 ur shinyjumper ambitions, C Froome & F Aru! I haz mi own race 2 consider!
W Barguil:C me lurk!
R Urán:Right, u gr8 ponces, watch this!
T Pelican:O RLY?
R Urán:No. Only joking.
S Yates:O hai! With teh juniorshinyjumper @ stake, I too will haz a go!
N Boulting:Conspiracy theory? C Froome does not want M Landa in teh shinyjumper?
SD Millar:No, ***! Absolutely not! Nononononono, yes!
Enfin…
W Barguil:\o/ Et vive la France!
A Contador:Fooled u! LOL!!1!
Bethany (7):(Performs vigorous dance routine)
Bethany’s Mum:Bef’ny! Shut ur noiz, u little show-off!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 15, 2017, 08:03:29 am
If you watch closely its obvious what happened. Landa was looking like he wasn't trying whilstputting the pain on everyone else, whereas Froome even asked him to slow down.

Accidental swapping of jiffy bags. Simples.

Im really pleased. It'll make for a far more dynamic race over the next week.  I know there will be a few upset at the thought of Sky losing, especially Veloman who seems to have a boner for Froome.

Yawn, yawn Flatus and perhaps the posting says more about you than me.

I don't see Sky losing as what I'm currently watching just shows how strong Sky are and how they have more than one rider with GC options in their team. All the pressure on Aru or Landa in yellow jumper and Sky get another trophy for the front of the bus.

What I'm watching is Landa riding for himself. He's going to Movistar next season  ;)

There are 5 riders within a minute of each other. This race is wide open. Froome will probably still win (unfortunately) just off the back of time-trialling.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TheLurker on July 15, 2017, 09:16:21 am
Quote from: Flatus
There are 5 riders within a minute of each other. This race is wide open. Froome will probably still win (unfortunately) just off the back of time-trialling.
Exciting isn't it?  I'm not so sure that CF will be able to win through the time trials. If wasn't just an off day then I think he might lose significant amounts of time on the next set of mountain stages; more than can be recovered on the TTs.  I'd *quite* like CF to win becos stupid vaguely "patriotic" reasons, but I think I'd be even more pleased to see Bardet win.   
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 15, 2017, 09:44:31 am
I'd love to see Bardet win, it would be the first French win since '85, but more to the point an end to the reign of USPS mk2, with their fat wallet and utter cynicism. It would be like flushing the toilet.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 15, 2017, 11:16:38 am
Ditto. And fewer of the long flat boring stages.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 15, 2017, 11:30:17 am
I must admit, I'm not sure about the critiscism of the flat boring stages. You want pure sprint finishes? You need flat boring stages. You want fun in the mountains? You need the flat boring stages in between.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 15, 2017, 01:02:19 pm
Oh I dont know. That might be one LA allusion too many. Porte is as good now as he ever was. Landa was pretty dodgy before he joined Sky. He looks really dodgy now.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 15, 2017, 01:10:29 pm
I must admit, I'm not sure about the critiscism of the flat boring stages. You want pure sprint finishes? You need flat boring stages. You want fun in the mountains? You need the flat boring stages in between.

I'm not that bothered about pure sprint finishes.  I'd concede, though, that the climbers need flatties to recover in between mountain stages.

I heard that the organizers are chewing over what to do about them, but I haven't heard any good suggestions. A multi-lap stage on a closed circuit was one suggestion.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 15, 2017, 01:21:13 pm
Can someone tell me what a 'virtual shiny jumper is please.  ???
Ps I noes what teh shiny jumper is, it's the virtual that confuses me.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 15, 2017, 01:57:02 pm
A multi-lap stage on a closed circuit was one suggestion.

Like what they have done in the Vuelta before?

http://www.cyclingnews.com/races/vuelta-a-espana-2014/stage-12/results/
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 15, 2017, 02:15:59 pm
Swap some transition stages with some pave, then take the long flat stages and cut them in half, split stages on same day, double the sprints, double the breakaways and make up for introducing some regular pave.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mrs Pingu on July 15, 2017, 02:16:07 pm
Can someone tell me what a 'virtual shiny jumper is please.  ???
Ps I noes what teh shiny jumper is, it's the virtual that confuses me.

Virtual shiny jumper wearer would be the wearer of the shiny jumper if the stage stopped right at that point in time.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 15, 2017, 02:35:05 pm
Oh I dont know. That might be one LA allusion too many. Porte is as good now as he ever was. Landa was pretty dodgy before he joined Sky. He looks really dodgy now.

And others, such as Roche and Konig, became rubbish when they joined Sky.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 15, 2017, 02:39:15 pm
And EBH.

Landa's breakout season was 2015. From zero to hero. With Astana.  Astana did unbelievably well in the Giro that year.

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 15, 2017, 03:40:08 pm
A multi-lap stage on a closed circuit was one suggestion.

Like what they have done in the Vuelta before?

http://www.cyclingnews.com/races/vuelta-a-espana-2014/stage-12/results/

Possibly. Dead flat is rubbish, though.

Meanwhile, Francetvinfo.fr have replaced their clear, informative Race Centre page with a trendy new one that isn't half as clear. :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 15, 2017, 03:56:06 pm
Kitteh Lidlbottom: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait 4 meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! ! !
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 15, 2017, 04:47:07 pm
Aru: WTF? Get near the front for the finish :facepalm:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mrs Pingu on July 15, 2017, 04:53:46 pm
Oops!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 15, 2017, 04:58:37 pm
;D

Bardet gains 2 sec.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 15, 2017, 05:14:21 pm
Aru: WTF? Get near the front for the finish :facepalm:

Easier said than done when you can’t ride in the wind for toffee and have half a team at your disposal. They were doing close to 60 km/h into a 23 km/h three-quarters headwind from about 20 km out!

More top-notch awareness and tactics by Team Sky. They mess up so rarely. And Kwiatkowski is a super domestique even by super-domestique standards. Always in the right place at the right time, always strong as an ox when called on, and always 100% committed.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 15, 2017, 05:38:48 pm
Ouch.

Quote
“He just didn’t stay on my wheel so it’s hard to keep him at the front,” Aru’s Astana teammate Michael Valgren said.

“It was kind of a lottery to be at the front, I don’t know what happened to Fabio to be honest.”

http://www.velonews.com/stages/2017-tour-de-france-stage-14
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 15, 2017, 06:56:04 pm
Stage 14: Blagnac->Rodez

G Imlach:O hai! Transition. Lumps. GV Avermaet!
GV Avermaet:O hai! Plz 2 not be laying this on me agane!
NC Boardman:O hai! M Matthews! M Kitteh dropped liek 60lb sack ov covfefe flung over Mexico-US border! With a trebuchet! Oh yes!
N Boulting:O hai! GC contenders! Wind! Sunweb, BMC, Wind! S Cummings!
S Cummings:Tiem? I iz biding. It.
SD Millar:O hai! Is it Norway House, Manitoba?
N Boulting:No, Super D. No, it is not. Do they not have Google in Girona, FFS?
Omnes:Ottawa, SD Millar! It’s fukn Ottawa, u menk!
SD Millar:(Sulks)
N Boulting:Now look wot u done! He’s gonna be Mr Mardypants all day!
Inevitably…
PT Voeckler:O hai! C Prudhomme, plz 2 get on with it!
TD Gendt:O hai! I, TD Gendt, offishul Racing Beast & tactical bag ov carrots, endorse this product, service or sentiment!
C Prudhomme:OK. Off U fck! PT Voeckler, do ur thing!
PT Voeckler:Yeth, mathter! (Exit, pursued by TD Gendt, M Bouet & T Roosen)
N Boulting:On the electric telephone, G Thomas! G Thomas?
G Thomas:O hai! Tour ov BRITAIN? Cardiff! Pub?
Omnes:Pub!
Exeunt omnes…
T Katusha:R Hollenstein! Stop those pigeons!
R Hollenstein:Who, me?
T Katusha:Yes, u!
R Hollenstein:Couldn’t u have told me this twenty minutes ago?
T Katusha:We’re telling u now! Off u fck!
R Hollenstein:Sometimes I hate this job!
Later…
Bethany (7):o hai looks liek another 1 ov them transitional things txt me if ne thing happens ect ect sa hi 2 g thomas 4 us mi bff 5 sez hes reely style lol xXx bthny
G Thomas:I’ll be safe in teh pub. Won’t I?
Laterer…
EC Boardman:O hai! I am TV's Evil C Boardman, and he who would cross teh Bridge of Death Pont du Carrousel must answer me these questions three ere teh other side he see! What is ur name?
N Boulting:O hai! I am TV's *** Boulting!
EC Boardman:What is ur quest?
N Boulting:I seek, er, teh Enlightenment via Expense-Account Lunches!
EC Boardman:WHAT… is teh definition ov a HAMLET!
N Boulting:I haz no ideAAARRRGGGH!
EC Boardman:And so perish all enemies ov teh Queen!
Meanwhile…
M Smith:O hai! TV’s M Smith here, and TV’s P York. P York, knowledge us!
P York:Iz SD Millar still sulking?
N Boulting:No. No, he is not. Because he’s asleep. Agane.
P York:I do hope no-one thinks we’re related!
M Smith:Swimming pools?
P York:No-one in them, or even next 2 them. WTF?
Omnes:With those TV helichopters sticking their long-range cameras up ur nose?
P York:A good point, well-made.
M Smith:Perhaps they are watching teh Tour?
Omnes:Shut! Up!
1964flyingscot:Radio?
P York:Video!
M Smith:Boogie with a suitcase!
Omnes:Get! Out!
After nothing happened…
N Boulting:O hai, M Cavendish! Bored yet!
M Cavendish:Eeeee, yer a right borin’ little tit, our ***!
TP Fairy:O hai! Remember me, TP Fairy, teh one who maeks gammon-faced pig botherer D Cameron look liek Sir D Attenborough?
T Roosen:Go! Away!
TP Fairy:Shan’t! Stab, stabbity, stabEEEE!
T Roosen:U git, TP Fairy!
After teh first hill…
Bethany (7):Any excitement yet?
SD Millar:Not a lot. Oh, M Kitteh haz been dropped by teh pelican!
M Kitteh:Come back and fight, u windy militants! Also, miaow!
S Cummings:O hai! I may just hav bided too much tiem. Oops!
N Boulting:TD Gendt, PT Voeckler!
SD Millar:M Kitteh, S Cummings!
On teh second hill…
M Bouet:Bai!
R Hollenstein:This ^^^^. Sometimes I wish I’d stayed a sparky!
M Kitteh:Noes! Dropped agane! Miaow and, moreover, FFS!
At last orders…
PT Voeckler:U utter git, TD Gendt!
TD Gendt:Catch me if u can lol!!1!
At closing time…
TD Gendt:Arse!
After teh last bus...
M Matthews:Yay! MOAR snottypoints 4 meeeeee!
GV Avermaet:I told u, ***! Wnkr!
F Aru:Aroooooooh, er, bugger!
C Froome:O hai, F Aru! I believe that iz mi shinyjumper!
Bethany (7):That’s put teh kitteh among teh pigeons, eh?
M Kitteh:Wha’evs and, moreover, miaow!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 15, 2017, 08:15:14 pm
More top-notch awareness and tactics by Team Sky.

Because they treated it like it was a bike race?

Seems to me more like ineptitude on Aru's part than genius on Sky's.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 15, 2017, 08:29:11 pm
Ouch.

Quote
“He just didn’t stay on my wheel so it’s hard to keep him at the front,” Aru’s Astana teammate Michael Valgren said.

“It was kind of a lottery to be at the front, I don’t know what happened to Fabio to be honest.”

http://www.velonews.com/stages/2017-tour-de-france-stage-14

Interesting to consider finish times for the respective teams.

Sky
0.01" Froome
0.15" Landa
0.20" Henao
1.15" Nieve
1.59" Kwiatkowski
3.19" Kiryienka
6.28" Rowe
13.17 Knees

Astana
0.25" Aru
1.14" Zeits
2.18" Valgren
6.28" Lutsenko
13.17" Grivko
13.17" Kozhatayev
13.17" Gruzdev

(Only 2 other riders finished outside 13.17")

Which suggests Aru lacked the team support that Froome has.  Might not be important when a long mountain stage is in play and they are just down to the GC riders where Aru can well cope without his team, but on a stage like today there was a clear need for the team to be protecting the GC man.  Why Astana or just Aru did not stick to the wheels of Sky is beyond most people.  Unless Aru was really suffering and had borrowed the legs Froome had on Stage 11 on Wednesday and Valgren might be suggesting that (or covering Aru's team for not looking after their leader).  Although Froome's legs were suffering following prolonged climbing after a very tough stage and not the relatively benign terrain of today during which quite a lot of riders coped admirably well who were well out of the picture on Stage 11.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 15, 2017, 08:39:02 pm
It was nice to see Vin Denson on the ITV4 highlights. I can remember riding a 50 with him in the field in the late 1990s. Some good anecdotes from him.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 15, 2017, 09:18:38 pm
Astana
0.25" Aru
1.14" Zeits
2.18" Valgren
6.28" Lutsenko
13.17" Grivko
13.17" Kozhatayev
13.17" Gruzdev

Cannondale:
Clarke +12
Brown +1.15
Bettiol +3.09
Van Baarle +8.00
Bevin +13.17
Talansky +13.17
Rolland +13.17
Phinney +13.17

...and yet Uran managed to cross the line with Froome.

Maybe there's more to it than just poor tactics or being caught out?

Quote
Unless Aru was really suffering and had borrowed the legs Froome had on Stage 11 on Wednesday

I think so. And I wonder if maybe it's more than just a bad day. Maybe Aru is actually cooked? There were question marks over his form coming into the Tour because of his lack of racing this year, but a decent showing in the Dauphiné and winning the Italian national title and suddenly people were hailing him as a contender again. Thing is, the Dauphiné is only a week long and isn't nearly as tough as the Tour.

I guess we'll find out on Wednesday, if not sooner.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 15, 2017, 09:28:50 pm
Looks like that Nice C Boardman called it just right, apart from the bit about the trebuchet.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TheLurker on July 15, 2017, 09:34:24 pm
Maybe Aru is actually cooked?
From what I saw on the magic goldfish bowl he didn't look in terribly good shape coming up to the line at today's stage, but looks can be deceiving.

Waits with 'bated breath for the next thrilling installment...
GRAMS:  The Devil's Gallop
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 15, 2017, 10:41:35 pm
Ouch.

Quote
“He just didn’t stay on my wheel so it’s hard to keep him at the front,” Aru’s Astana teammate Michael Valgren said.

“It was kind of a lottery to be at the front, I don’t know what happened to Fabio to be honest.”

http://www.velonews.com/stages/2017-tour-de-france-stage-14
Ouch indeed!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 15, 2017, 11:10:06 pm
From what I saw on the magic goldfish bowl he didn't look in terribly good shape coming up to the line at today's stage, but looks can be deceiving.

The pace being set by the QuickStep guy (Vermote? Brambilla?) in the closing kms was ferocious. I think Aru just couldn't keep up - and to be fair, he wasn't the only one.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Jabba on July 16, 2017, 08:37:45 am
Are we just expecting too much from GC contenders these days  :-[

Froome drops off the leaders on the vertical runway and everyone is in shock but if he outguns everyone on every stage then the whispers start that he's obviously receiving some 'extra' help  :o :o

The same is true for all the big team leaders, Dumoulin looked vulnerable many times during the Giro, maybe as the sport cleans up this is the future. Some ridiculously good strong days followed by 'ouch everything hurts' and 'I can't hold on' days  ???

But it does make for better racing.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: ian.r.mcdonald on July 16, 2017, 09:05:46 am
It was nice to see Vin Denson on the ITV4 highlights. I can remember riding a 50 with him in the field in the late 1990s. Some good anecdotes from him.
[/quote

first time ITV coverage has been better than Eurosport with Pippa and David as well. Vin was great, direct and entertaining
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 16, 2017, 10:58:36 am
More top-notch awareness and tactics by Team Sky.

Because they treated it like it was a bike race?

Seems to me more like ineptitude on Aru's part than genius on Sky's.

I’m not claiming genius but good planning, high awareness on the road, and tactics and team strength to make the most of any opportunity. Astana sadly lacks all of these except reliably good tactics when situational awareness is high.

For example, did you see Sky had people handing out musettes at 20-something km to go? They were the only team doing that. All the others relied on riders going back to the team cars. In this kind of finish, where positioning is everything, that gives the Sky riders an advantage.

Read this, (https://www.teamsky.com/article/froome-regains-yellow-in-rodez) especially Froome’s praise of Kwiatkowski, Rowe talking about studying the video from two years ago, and Portal explaining how Kiryienka reported Aru’s position as he fell back following his long pull.

Sure, it’s all just treating it as a bike race, but why don’t the others do that then? The answer is that it’s hard, requiring consistently high effort and motivation from all team members.

Eventually that pays off as it did yesterday.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 16, 2017, 04:09:06 pm
What a race but Doctor Who, then puncture, Who#13, race, Froome. #nomorenails
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 16, 2017, 04:09:57 pm
Froome being booed in the Col de Peyra Taillade. Not nice. :(  It's Bardet's home turf and Auvergnats are famously mean.

OTOH today I met a French guy in Sky shorts.

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 16, 2017, 06:06:25 pm
I wonder how much is Froome vs SKY that is getting booed?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: rogerzilla on July 16, 2017, 07:29:16 pm
Is it just me, or are those "sponsored by Watchfinder" adverts a bit gay?  I mean, they out-Rapha Rapha for homoerotic MAMIL closeups and the slo-mo is bizarre*

*unless he's just not very fit and actually rides at that pace
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 16, 2017, 07:37:33 pm
Is it just me, or are those "sponsored by Watchfinder" adverts a bit gay?  I mean, they out-Rapha Rapha for homoerotic MAMIL closeups and the slo-mo is bizarre*

*unless he's just not very fit and actually rides at that pace

Or does your view belong to a period when dinosaurs roamed the planet?

Perhaps the slo-mo is to enable you to admire the watch. Clue is in the sponsor.
Title: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 16, 2017, 07:56:16 pm
I’m not claiming genius but good planning, high awareness on the road, and tactics and team strength to make the most of any opportunity. Astana sadly lacks all of these except reliably good tactics when situational awareness is high.

Yeah, ok, I'm with you on that. They were almost caught out today by another well-drilled team though.

Quote
Sure, it’s all just treating it as a bike race, but why don’t the others do that then? The answer is that it’s hard, requiring consistently high effort and motivation from all team members.

Indeed. Also takes a team leader with genuine leadership qualities, which Aru seems to lack.

I would like to see other teams take the race to Sky more often, like we saw today from AG2R. Movistar can usually be relied on to try something but they've been on the back foot since day one this year. BMC have strength in depth but have had a bit of a nightmare - shame, because Caruso looks in superb form and could have been a useful plan B if he hadn't lost time early on. QuickStep also look strong but aren't riding for GC. Cannondale look as ramshackle as ever but luckily Uran doesn't seem to need a team.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on July 16, 2017, 09:36:45 pm
Gripping stage today.

Any idea what the nature of Froome’s mechanical was? At first I thought it was a bike swap but I see from the highlights that it was a rear wheel swap.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 16, 2017, 09:42:21 pm
I think they said it was lack of air within tyre.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 16, 2017, 09:44:55 pm
Gripping stage today.

Any idea what the nature of Froome’s mechanical was? At first I thought it was a bike swap but I see from the highlights that it was a rear wheel swap.

Puncture. At least that what was said during interview. Hence why he was having difficulty staying with the group.  Had it have been a real 'mechanical' (such as mech or shifters) he would not have swapped wheels to solve problem.  Might. Had a spoke problem but I doubt it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on July 16, 2017, 09:48:53 pm
Ah ok, cheers. In the only post-race interview I have seen, Froome referred to it as “a bit of a mechanical” or something. Maybe he doesn’t like to say the p-word.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on July 16, 2017, 09:50:11 pm
Is it just me, or are those "sponsored by Watchfinder" adverts a bit gay?

I think that might be just you. For me, the ads produce only a feeling of extreme tedium - and that’s from someone who likes old watches.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Salvatore on July 16, 2017, 09:52:04 pm
Gripping stage today.

Any idea what the nature of Froome’s mechanical was? At first I thought it was a bike swap but I see from the highlights that it was a rear wheel swap.

Puncture. At least that what was said during interview. Hence why he was having difficulty staying with the group.  Had it have been a real 'mechanical' (such as mech or shifters) he would not have swapped wheels to solve problem.  Might. Had a spoke problem but I doubt it.

Quote from: Froome
Things had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on July 16, 2017, 09:53:16 pm
Quote from: Froome
Things had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,

Thanks!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 16, 2017, 09:58:02 pm
Is it just me

Yes. HTH.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mrs Pingu on July 16, 2017, 10:04:51 pm
Froome being booed in the Col de Peyra Taillade. Not nice. :(  It's Bardet's home turf and Auvergnats are famously mean.

OTOH today I met a French guy in Sky shorts.



Yeah the booing was a bit disappointing
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Tim Hall on July 16, 2017, 10:21:19 pm
Quote from: Froome
Things had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,

Thanks!
Hang on. A few years ago the deal was rounder wheels, according to Baldy Brailsford. Now they want wheels that stay straight. It's a right old puzzle.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 16, 2017, 10:49:08 pm
O hai!  P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® Daily TdF Fake News has been delayed coz we only finished watching teh stage at 10 pm and getting two Microsith products on the same fondleslab to behave like they do under Windows is an exercise in futility >:(  A pox on B Gates, S Ballmer ect ect.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 16, 2017, 10:53:52 pm
Gripping stage today.

Any idea what the nature of Froome’s mechanical was? At first I thought it was a bike swap but I see from the highlights that it was a rear wheel swap.

Puncture. At least that what was said during interview. Hence why he was having difficulty staying with the group.  Had it have been a real 'mechanical' (such as mech or shifters) he would not have swapped wheels to solve problem.  Might. Had a spoke problem but I doubt it.

Quote from: Froome
Things had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,

Sky need to follow YACF to see who to use to get their wheels built!  Had a spoke break in a wheel built by *****? and it was still running almost perfectly.  Those factory built wheels eh!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 16, 2017, 11:24:50 pm
O hai!  P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® Daily TdF Fake News has been delayed coz [excuses]

I want a refund NOW!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Jaded on July 16, 2017, 11:25:11 pm
Quote from: Froome
Things had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,

Thanks!
Hang on. A few years ago the deal was rounder wheels, according to Baldy Brailsford. Now they want wheels that stay straight. It's a right old puzzle.

Straight wheels and gay adverts. It's a heady mix.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 16, 2017, 11:50:12 pm
I remember Gaye Advert

(Has moment)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 16, 2017, 11:53:43 pm
You're so Money Supermarket.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 17, 2017, 12:15:16 am
Stage 15: Laissac-Sévérac L'Eglise->Le Puy-En-Velay

Bethany (7):o hai off round 2 5s agane coz i xspec mi mumll be inna fowl mood agane when she wakes up f aru wot woz that all about eh wot u rekn 1st cat 30 k from finish r bardet if onli cp sagan was ere sa hi 2 g thomas l8rs xXx bthny
G Thomas:Is it safe?
Omnes:Ooh, hark @ Laurence Olivier lol!
G Thomas:Noes, I mean “Is it safe 4 me 2 come out ov teh pub yet?”
Omnes:U scared ov teh little gurlz, G Thomas roffle? Thort u woz hard!
G Thomas:Fck off, u gits!
Bethany (7):Get tae fck, u patronising apes! I don’t pla ur macho power games!
G Thomas:C wot I mean?
G Imlach:O hai! Careless talk costs lives, G Thomas! Difficult stage 2 call?
NC Boardman:O hai! F Aru, tactics. Rubbish! Not R Bardet 2da thobut.
C Prudhomme:Release teh bats!
Omnes:U wot?
N Boulting:O hai! That was a bit previous, C Prudhomme!
SD Millar:O hai! W Barguil at it agane!
N Boulting:M Matthews? Snottyjumper?
SD Millar:No. Yes. Ructions in teh break. Will they? Or not?
N Boulting:Reboot!
SD Millar:GV Avermaet!
GV Avermaet:Shut! Up! FFS…
A Contador:Minionth! Theize them! Thwow them 2 teh floor!
TT Segafredo:Who, us?
A Contador:Yes, u!
B Mollema:Sometimes I hate this job!
W Barguil:Pish 2 thee, Spaignish cur!
Bethany (7):Yay 4 W Barguil!
T $ky:We don’t think so, A Contador!
Stasis…
M Smith:…G Thomas… not with us today… pub possibly involved…
5:Awwwww!
D Hutch:…M Matthews… M Kitteh… snottyjumper… CP Sagan…
M Kitteh:Go! Away! Also, miaow!
D Friebe:O hai! And o hai 2 USAnian 4mer president ov vice J Kerry!
J Kerry:(Coherent and sensible answers)
In a while…
N Boulting:Sprint sprint sprintEEEE soon! I see TV’s Nice C Boardman haz returned from hiz afternoon nap! Will teh T Quickstep rider in teh break do teh unmentionable on M Matthews’ chips?
NC Boardman:No. No, he will not. Because there isn’t one!
N Boulting:I, um, er, F Aru?
NC Boardman:Astana. Useless berks. They had one job!
T $ky:LOL @ TEAM DA-LEK!
M Matthews:Yay! MOAR snottypoints 4 meeeeee! & LOL @ M Kitteh!
M Kitteh:
N Boulting:So, Super D Millar, now u has woked up from ur afternoon nap, informationise us!
SD Millar:Sunweb! TD Gendt! S Calamityjane!
L Calamityjane: Did he call me “Sue” again! I will kill u, SD Millar! Kill u utterly 2 DETH!
SD Millar:(Whistles innocently)
N Boulting:So. Santiago de Compostheap!
SD Millar:Compostela!
N Boulting:Yes, that as well. Beast ov Gévaudan! Wolf, gangsta rapper, dog, serial killer, wolfdog, rabid puffin, hyæna, J Alaphilippe with a strop on? Giant stoat, lion, TD Gendt? Or wot?
Bethany’s Mum:Strap-on? U filfy fukrs! An’ wot ‘ave u preverts dun wif mi dor’er?
N Boulting:Jacques Prévert?
5’s Mummy:It’s awl Air-Kay, Ms de Sade! Bethany is at air hoyse. Eating a kumquat!
Bethany (7):Om nom nom nom! Ooh, mi toof’s come out!
TP Fairy:Not in mi job description. Soz.
SD Millar:(Improvising desperately…) Werewolf!
F Aru:Arooooooo! Better stay away from me! I’ll rip ur lungs out, ***!
Omnes:Roffle!!1! U couldn’t rip ur way thru teh wet paper bag!
Soon…
N Boulting:Look, see, T Martin iz doning an attack! Curse u, T Martin, 4 spoiling mi Barghest/Barguil joak funneh comedy gag!
SD Millar:Don’t get it, ***!
N Boulting:U mean u haz not read Prof Larrington’s bok “Land Ov Teh Green Man”, now1 available in papperbok and endorsed by literature’s N Gaiman?
SD Millar:No. No, I haz not.
Omnes:U Palestinian Philistine, Super D!
T Martin:O hai and, moreover, wha-hey!
Meanwhile…
R Bardet:Right, get ‘em, lads!
T AG2R:Yeth, mathter!
F Aru:Arooooooo! Mind if I join u?
A Contador:I, A Contador, will also haz some ov that!
C Froome:Yoicks!
T Gremlin2:O hai, C Froome! C mi Snippity Things ov Doom? Ka-pinngggg! LOL!
C Froome:FFS! Where mi team gone? Outtathaway, u sloboyz!
Meanwhile…
W Barguil:O hai, T Martin!
T Martin:Piss!
Bethany (7):\o/ Yay 4 W Barguil!
Meanwhile…
L France:BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
C Froome:Fck off!
M Landa:On me ’ead wheel, son!
C Froome:Ta!
R Bardet:WTF! I killed u utterly 2 DETH!
N Quintana:(From a long way away…) U killed mi father! Prepare 2… bugger!
Meanwhile…
B Mollema:C me & mi aerosnout fck off!
W Barguil:Not if I haz a sa in things!
Meanwhile…
S Yates:I, er, arse!
D Martin:Mi turn! Oh!
M Landa:Oh no u don’t, sonny! (Aside) I want MOAR money 4 this job!
D Martin:O RLY?
Enfin…
B Mollema:\o/ Aero roolz!
Enfin part deux…
D Martin:Yay! Thx, S Geschke & ur hipsta beard!
C Froome:Yay! Thx, M Landa!
R Bardet:WTF! Seven fukn domestiques and I still can’t drop C Froome! U useless fukn basket cases! Get out ov mi site3!
Bethany (7):Wowsa! That was worth staying in 4!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 17, 2017, 08:40:10 am
It makes me think back to the Vuelta route where Movistar blew up Dumoulin in the penultimate day.  AG2R got 90% there but then played it safe, had they gone all-out once Landa dropped back there could have been a breakaway of GC favorites who would have been well served to work together to distance Landa and Froome.
I think that was AG2R's chance and I don't think that anyone else can take the Tour to Froome.  It's all done bar the shouting now.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 17, 2017, 09:52:45 am
Tend to agree. Bardet could still stick it to Aru, though.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 17, 2017, 10:16:55 am
Flat tomorrow and Friday, Alps in between and not a huge margin over Aru, Bardet and Urán.  $ky will need to keep on their toes, especially if it gets windy on the flat stages.  Which is not unknown in that part of la belle France.

Oh, and a suitable sacrifice made to appease TP Fairy.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: cameronp on July 17, 2017, 02:32:39 pm
Thank you Mr L for your hilarious race recaps! Here in the antipodes we don't have Mr Boulting, Mr Millar or even the nice Mr Boardman, but that just adds to the slightly surreal nature of your posts.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: ScumOfTheRoad on July 17, 2017, 02:46:18 pm
Indeed cameronp.  Here in the Netherlands we have the 'Tour Du Jour' show every night https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tour_du_Jour
In which  various pundits sit around discussing the days events on the Tour and quaffing glasses of the sponsors product - Leffe beer. I swear that they get more slurred as the evening goes on.  I don't understand a word to be honest.
One of the pundits would provoke sime humour in M. Larringtons commentary https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Boogerd
M. Boogerd is always resplendent in golden curls and a snazzy polo shirt, and glass of Leffe not far away.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 17, 2017, 04:37:49 pm
Tim Wellens has pulled out of the Tour rather than apply for a TUE for medical treatment for an illness...

http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/tim-wellens-refuses-tue-treat-illness-abandons-tour-de-france-342198

Shame for him, but it makes for a great story about refreshing attitudes in the rising young stars of the sport.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 17, 2017, 05:17:16 pm
Thank you Mr L for your hilarious race recaps! Here in the antipodes we don't have Mr Boulting, Mr Millar or even the nice Mr Boardman, but that just adds to the slightly surreal nature of your posts.

Indeed. SD Millar & NC Boardman I know, but the only Boulting I have come across was Sir Ichabod of that ilk in a book called "A Funny Thing Happened" (ages 7 to 9) that I lost track of before Gagarin Sputnik 1 went up.

A while ago I tried to explain l33t to Mrs. T42. She wanted to know why on earth anyone would... Oh well. :facepalm:  But then, she doesn't ride a bike.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 17, 2017, 05:53:24 pm
*** Boulting used to do roving reporting for the BRITONS' TV in the days of Donald & Mickey Phil & Paul and from what he's let slip in recent days has actually been covering the Tour for about 15 years.  Thus, in spite of P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® being beastly to him 4 teh lulz, he does have some claim to know what he's talking about.  Natch the tactical analysis and strategic vision of Bethany (7) puts them all to shame, though.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 17, 2017, 06:30:15 pm
Thus, in spite of P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® being beastly to him 4 teh lulz, he does have some claim to know what he's talking about.

'Ned's made a big difference because he's just discovered cycling in the last 10 years. It's like going round France with a big kid. We see a mountain and it's like, "Can we ride up it? Can we?" ... He's curious and he's a good reporter, so he asks good questions. And his questions represent a big chunk of the viewing public at home, because a bit like Wimbledon, the Tour de France is probably the only race of the year that transcends the sport. The audience is a very broad church.'
- NC Boardmen, in an interview with yours truly last year

I remember when Ned first started on the Tour, he was absolutely clueless. But I like him. He's proof that being good at your job is about a lot more than having an intricate knowledge of the subject. And he has picked up a few things over the last 10 years. Or even the last 15 years.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 17, 2017, 06:43:13 pm
I'm actually starting to dislike N Boulting a bit. He just comes across as impossibly smug....
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 17, 2017, 06:46:24 pm
For the avoidance of doubt, we at PPTM think *** and Super D represent a great leap forward from their predecessors.  Except Bethany (7), who's too young to have been traumatised by Messrs Liggett & Sherwen :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 17, 2017, 08:21:47 pm
Second Rest Day

G Imlach:French as a baguette, changing yet changeless as canal water, nestling in green nowhere, armoured and effete, feudal, still-reactionary Tour de France…
Omnes:U nicked that off ov V Stanshall!
G Imlach:Chiz curses foiled agane!
Bethany (7):o hai ur rest day prog betta be gude and havs teh funy wif niec c boardman an *** or 5 sez her dad wil su u utterly 2 DETH teh so-called “toofairy” neva caem 4 my toof last nite plz 2 humle8 embrass shehm annoy mi mum on teh lyv tv thx xXx bthny
G Imlach:O hai! So after a week in which C Froome has lost teh shinyjumper, regained teh shinyjumper and come perilously close 2 losing teh shinyjumper again, we asked some highly-qualified experts, and TV’s *** Boulting, 4 their op!ons as 2 whether he can keep teh shinyjumper all teh way 2 Paris!
N Boulting:How do u know that inside me, TV’s *** Boulting, there’s not a highly-qualified expert trying 2 get out?
G Imlach:Say “Aaaaaah” & I’ll look 4 him! Ba-dum, tish!
Omnes:G Imlach: ur made ov teh FAIL. Plz 2 leave teh bunker!
G Imlach:OK, u win, race summary instead…
SD Millar & N Boulting:M Kitteh, TEAM AS-TA-NA, M Kitteh, T $ky, A Contador, C Froome, F Aru, R Bardet, W Barguil, C Froome & M Kitteh!
M Kitteh:Miaow!
R Urán:Oi! Wot about me?
N Boulting:M Landa? Spaniard in teh works? lol!
Omnes:And u stole that off ov J Lennon!
N Boulting:Piss!
D Friebe:O hai! C Froome, tell us Stuffs!
C Froome:Blah blah team blah blah blah legs blah blah R Urán blah!
M Rendall:Eu holã! R Bardet!
R Bardet:Blah team blah blah F Aru blah C Froome blah blah D Martin blah R Urán!
Omnes:Y u not got teh juniorshinyjumper, R Bardet? U look about 12 lol!!1!
R Bardet:Fck off, u spotty Ingleesh types! I haz a degree! U lot doan look liek u even got a temperature!
Omnes:Yoicks! That’s us told!
M Rendall:Octopus pro diem D Martin exjecto? Alto Manni comme cockadoodleping! Boink!
D Martin:Yes, it hurts. 4 sure. R Urán. Galibier. C Froome! 4 sure. (Aside) What did he just say?
R Urán:That’s MOAR liek it!
D Friebe:Transfer market. Blah. M Kitteh, hair. M Landa. SD Brailsford. Rumour McRumourbungle. Lots ov blah, signifying 0.
G Imlach:NC Boardman, baffle us with unwritten roolz!
NC Boardman:O hai! Black, white, fifty shades ov teal! V Nibbles boo! F Aru boo! It’s a load ov old t00t!
SD Millar:Mi fantasy team iz…
Omnes:Hat! Hat! SD Millar haz teh poncy straw hat! There, on teh table! Hat!
SD Millar:Ur all gay! C me & *** play teh goat!
Omnes:Another hat! Gr8 poncy blue & white flat cap! U look liek a X between TV’s F Dibnah & a butcher’s apron!
SD Millar:Fck! Off!
G Imlach:Cut! CUT!!1! R Gilmore, quick! La Course!
R Gilmore:L Deignan, M Vos, AV Vleuten! Climb, time-trial!
G Imlach:Still a bit poor but less so.
Bethany (7):Wot G Imlach said!
G Imlach:So, final week!
NC Boardman:C Froome 2 win, unless he doesn’t.
G Imlach:Thx, Nice C! (Aside…) Idiot!
Bethany (7):Oi! G Imlach! Wot about mi mum?
G Imlach:Ask…
Roll end credits…
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TheLurker on July 17, 2017, 08:35:57 pm
I remember when Ned first started on the Tour, he was absolutely clueless.
Yeah, but he got a good book out of his initial cluelessness.  Not such a daftie, eh? :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mrs Pingu on July 17, 2017, 10:01:19 pm
Is it just me or does R Bardet look like an urchin that gets shoved up chimneys for sport?
<yes this should prolly be in the signs you are middle aged thread>
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 17, 2017, 11:11:59 pm
Quote from: Froome
Things had been going perfectly, I broke a spoke and the wheel wasn’t straight any more. We changed the wheel as fast as we could,

Thanks!

He was lucky he didn't try GV Avermaet* for a new spoke :-p







*"His" shop in Belgium** failed to provide me with one last month





**The staff were very nice and tried to help, thobut.

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: cameronp on July 18, 2017, 08:44:27 am
For the avoidance of doubt, we at PPTM think *** and Super D represent a great leap forward from their predecessors.  Except Bethany (7), who's too young to have been traumatised by Messrs Liggett & Sherwen :demon:

Interesting - this is the first year in a long time where the Aussie coverage hasn't been the Phil'n'Paul show and the general consensus here is "bring the old boys back". This year we've got the brand new team of R McEwen and M Keenan. I reckon they're fine but they don't have Liggett's colourful turn of phrase and a few creative attempts at French pronunciation. I'm pretty sure I heard Keenan mention a "horse category" climb the other day! *cry*
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 18, 2017, 09:01:59 am
La Gilmore also mentioned "horse category" in her preview piece last night. She butchered several other well-known French cycling terms too!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 18, 2017, 09:26:00 am
The crowning moment of P Liggett's colemantating career was the time he pronounced Andreas Klöden's surname three different ways during a single sentence :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 18, 2017, 09:26:18 am
Second Rest Day

R Bardet:Fck off, u spotty Ingleesh types! I haz a degree! U lot doan look liek u even got a temperature!

A glorified MBA? Psawh! No wonder you're a cyclist.


For the avoidance of doubt, we at PPTM think *** and Super D represent a great leap forward from their predecessors.  Except Bethany (7), who's too young to have been traumatised by Messrs Liggett & Sherwen :demon:

Looked him up, skimmed his bit in the Telegraph. Glad I didn't know the predecessors.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 18, 2017, 11:54:50 am
The only thing more annoying than that fucking watch advert is the constant use of "For sure" by everyone. Absolutely everyone - riders (no matter whether they're native English speakers or not), commentators, reporters, team bosses.... Everyone! Just stop it.....
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Nuncio on July 18, 2017, 12:10:46 pm
I think it used to be more the 'foreign' riders, but it certainly has crossed to the Brits now.  Geraint Thomas has been doing it for a while.  And there's a lot of phatic 'Yeah's too, particularly from Simon Yates and Dan Martin.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 18, 2017, 12:24:39 pm
Today’s stage is going to be good from the beginning. Tune in!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 18, 2017, 12:39:24 pm
The only thing more annoying than that fucking watch advert is the constant use of "For sure" by everyone. Absolutely everyone - riders (no matter whether they're native English speakers or not), commentators, reporters, team bosses.... Everyone! Just stop it.....

Yep, I've noticed that too and for sure it's really annoying.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 18, 2017, 12:42:07 pm
And we’re off! Haven’t felt this level of anticipation for a stage in a while. Imagine the nerves in the peloton.

Echelons for sure.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Riggers on July 18, 2017, 12:49:54 pm
The only thing more annoying than that fucking watch advert is the constant use of "For sure" by everyone. Absolutely everyone - riders (no matter whether they're native English speakers or not), commentators, reporters, team bosses.... Everyone! Just stop it.....



I think not young Bobbers Skywalker. What about what's-his-face, on Eurosport, who always predicates his responses with "Yes, well" in his broad mumbling Oirish.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 18, 2017, 02:18:29 pm
Quick, Lizze! Mr. Bennet needs the salts.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 18, 2017, 02:25:27 pm

I think not young Bobbers Skywalker. What about what's-his-face, on Eurosport, who always predicates his responses with "Yes, well" in his broad mumbling Oirish.


This. See rants passim . . .
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 18, 2017, 02:52:08 pm
Code brown for Team Quick Aztec Two Step?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: cameronp on July 18, 2017, 04:32:17 pm
Some nice Aussie sprinting out there today!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 18, 2017, 05:00:24 pm
I think this is the interview that the Colemantators were alluding to regarding Fuglsang not being happy about Aru - Chrome's translator is correct, he doesn't want to ride a GT with him again:

http://www.fyens.dk/sport/Fuglsang-kritiserer-Aru-og-oensker-kaptajnrolle-alene/artikel/3168317
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 18, 2017, 05:01:41 pm
Stage 16: Le Puy-En-Velay->Romans-Sur- Isère

Bethany (7):o hai g imlach ive got a bone 2 pik wif u wot u mene bout mi mum eh sa hi 2 niec c boardman & g tomas also u haz a typo on ur staeg map u silies xXx bthny
G Imlach:O hai! Le Puy! Nôtre Dame de France! U can climb out ov her head, u kno1!
NC Boardman:O hai! Wind!
G Imlach:Teams. C Froome haz one. D Martin haz one. R Bardet haz one. F Aru haz not one. Wind.
N Boulting:O hai! P Gilbert haz teh lurgi. Bad 4 D Martin! Wind!
R Urán:Oi! What about me!
N Boulting:Who said that?
M Smith:Wind!
SD Millar:O hai! Wind! Pelican kablooie! Oh yes. Sunweb zoom zoom first climb M Matthews kill M Kitteh utterly 2 DETH! Stage win. Snottyjumper. Voon!
N Boulting:Break! Futile?
SD Millar:B-Dog? GV Avermaet? T BMC, oh yes!
GV Avermaet:S! T! F! U! FFS, SD Millar, u cock!
Omnes:U seen hiz hatz, GV Avermaet? Roffle!
GV Avermaet:Millarnery2, lol!!1! Plz 2 send jpegs!
Omnes:U got m@il!
[…]
SD Millar:Today’s buzzthing iz “into teh red.” R-E-D. RED! Or was that Sunday’s? Perhaps iz “blow apart”?
Omnes:Our money iz on “Wind”!
S Cummings:O hai! Bide, bide, bidEEEEEE bai! Oh.
M Matthews:Oi, T Sunweb! WTF u playing at?
TD Gendt:O hai! I, TD Gendt, Racing Beast and tactical cauliflower, say go! From now on I want u all 2 call me “TRBD Gendt”!
Omnes:Whizzkid sittin’ pretty on hiz 2-wheeled stallion? LOL @ TD Gendt!
TD Gendt:Fck! Off!
M Matthews:Well bloody sod ya, then! I’ll do it miself! Oi, D Martin! Go! Away!
[…]
Bethany (7):I imagine W Barguil is keeping his hyperbole from going into teh red today. What, with a couple ov big mountain stages coming up an’ t’ing. And teh wind!
TD Gendt:I can still get ‘im, u know!
Bethany (7):Roffle!
J Bauer:Previously on ‘24’ I, J Bauer, haz conkered teh baddies M Matthews 1ngle handed!
[…]
SD Millar:Wind! T Sunweb! w00t!
M Kitteh:O hai! I, M Kitteh, do not liek dis game! Plz 2 stop it! Also, miaow!
N Boulting:Pelican! In pieces! M Smith & K “T D00d” House, speak 2 us ov Wind!
K House:Yes. No. Gutters. Aru Urán!
N Boulting:SCIENCE ov Wind! TV’s JA Flecha said so!
JA Flecha:He’s right, u know!
N Boulting:S Cummings not biding hiz tiem! S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel! Oh!
[…]
N Boulting:Lunchtiem!
M Smith:D Martin, M Kitteh!
Omnes:Crivvens! M Smith used a comma!
K House:M Matthews!
M Smith:Wind!
ML Maire:(Snoring…)
[…]
W Barguil:I can haz spottypoint!
Bethany (7):\o/
[…]
M Smith:M Kitteh? Lurgi?
K House:All teh other sprinters in teh pelican! N Bouhanni, A Kristoff, A Greipel!
Omnes:MUNKEH!
TP Fairy:O hai! I, TP Fairy, cycling’s rnser 2 teh DUP, fancy a day out! O hai, PT Voeckler, o hai, A Contador!
PT Voeckler:Piss!
A Contador:Arse!
M Smith:Wind!
[…]
N Boulting:M Kitteh?
SD Millar:Teh D00m – M Kitteh haz it!
N Boulting:Wind!
M Kitteh:Miow!
[…]
N Boulting:…and when I see teh big bunch ov Nogweegies wif Nogweegie flags & T-shaped shirts saying “Nogwegia” I always sa “O hai! Where u from?” LOL!!1!
Omnes:Oooh, ***! You utter wag!
SD Millar:U spelled “tw@” wrong!
N Boulting:Get tae fck, Super D, or I set fire 2 ur hat!
[…]
N Boulting:Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE!
M Matthews:Snottypoints 4 me, lol @ M Kitteh!
M Kitteh:
[…]
Bethany (7):O hai! Skool’s out! What’s occurring?
ML Maire:Nothing!
Bethany (7):What, again?
5:Haz G Thomas been on?
ML Maire:Nope!
5:Oh, poo-eeeeeeee3!
N Boulting:Not so fast! Teh race will turn a corner and Wind! Perhaps teh pelican will be blown apart!
A Contador:Iz good idea! Let’s put teh pelican 2 teh sword!
(Almost immediately…)
A Contador:Fooled u! I was really looking 4 teh road 2 Spaign-o!
JJ Jarlinsson:O hai! I, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking, pronounce u “git”, A Contador! Do that again and u can explain it 2 mi associate El Mjölñiro!
5:Silly A Contador! When mi Daddy wants 2 kill teh birdies he uses teh Purdey!
N Boulting:Whence cometh teh Wind?
B Dylan:U don’t need a weatherman, u kno! Or even TV’s Nice C Boardman!
SD Millar:Wind! 4 teh luv ov Dog, wind! FFS! Or teh plebs will think we maed it up!
N Boulting:Wind! Over their right shoulders!
Immediate cut 2 shot ov flag indicating a full-on headwind
N Boulting:Liek I said, a headwind!
SD Millar:…2 pieces…
[…]
N Boulting & SD Millar:Wind!
[…]
T $ky:Right, watch this!
JJ Jarlinsson:Ow! I felled on El Mjölñiro and hav killed miself utterly 2 DETH!
D Martin:Arse! Wuffo u useless tarts stay wif M Kitteh?
SD Millar:Conveyor belt!
C Froome:Hold on! Where mi team gone?
M Landa:Ph3@r not, C Froome! I will save u (Aside…) Agane >:(
[…]
D Bennati:O hai and, moreover, bai!
T Sunweb:Resistance is futile!
GV Avermaet:C me… Oh!
B-Dog:Yay! Pwnage!
M Matthews:Soz, B-Dog, but wrongness: u haz it! MOAR snottypoints 4 meeeeeeee & lol @ M Kitteh!
B-Dog:FFS!
J Degenkolb:FFS! He looked @ me in a funny tone ov voice!
C Prudhomme:Fck off, J Degenkolb!
M Kitteh:Fckles!
D Martin:This ^^^^. Also, wind…

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 18, 2017, 05:03:04 pm
;D :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 18, 2017, 05:03:41 pm
I think this is the interview that the Colemantators were alluding to regarding Fuglsang not being happy about Aru - Chrome's translator is correct, he doesn't want to ride a GT with him again:

http://www.fyens.dk/sport/Fuglsang-kritiserer-Aru-og-oensker-kaptajnrolle-alene/artikel/3168317

Quote
Jakob Fuglsang believes it was a mistake to Astana teammate Fabio Aru attack, when the Dane was in eruption on the ninth stage.

It's no wonder he packed if he was erupting during a stage :P
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mrs Pingu on July 18, 2017, 08:41:07 pm
I think this is the interview that the Colemantators were alluding to regarding Fuglsang not being happy about Aru - Chrome's translator is correct, he doesn't want to ride a GT with him again:

http://www.fyens.dk/sport/Fuglsang-kritiserer-Aru-og-oensker-kaptajnrolle-alene/artikel/3168317

Trying to read that just made my brain hurt.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: bobb on July 18, 2017, 08:46:37 pm
The only thing more annoying than that fucking watch advert is the constant use of "For sure" by everyone. Absolutely everyone - riders (no matter whether they're native English speakers or not), commentators, reporters, team bosses.... Everyone! Just stop it.....

Yep, I've noticed that too and for sure it's really annoying.

Wanker  :P
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: DuncanM on July 18, 2017, 08:54:50 pm
Dan Martin seemed pretty philosophical at the end of todays stage.  Looked like Jack Bauer might have been able to drag him across the gap initially if Martin had the legs. I reckon Quickstep will have him in Belgian races in February in punishment for missing out on an echelon stage. That's basically their raison d'etre. :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 18, 2017, 10:20:51 pm
I was surprised to see Jonathan Vaughters mutating into Bill Bryson, via Frankie Boyle.

(https://i.ytimg.com/vi/mJhYLpln-6o/maxresdefault.jpg)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ewan Houzami on July 18, 2017, 10:57:51 pm
Stage 16: Le Puy-En-Velay->Romans-Sur- Isère

Bethany (7):o hai g imlach ive got a bone 2 pik wif u wot u mene bout mi mum eh sa hi 2 niec c boardman & g tomas also u haz a typo on ur staeg map u silies xXx bthny
G Imlach:O hai! Le Puy! Nôtre Dame de France! U can climb out ov her head, u kno1!
NC Boardman:O hai! Wind!
G Imlach:Teams. C Froome haz one. D Martin haz one. R Bardet haz one. F Aru haz not one. Wind.
N Boulting:O hai! P Gilbert haz teh lurgi. Bad 4 D Martin! Wind!
R Urán:Oi! What about me!
N Boulting:Who said that?
M Smith:Wind!
SD Millar:O hai! Wind! Pelican kablooie! Oh yes. Sunweb zoom zoom first climb M Matthews kill M Kitteh utterly 2 DETH! Stage win. Snottyjumper. Voon!
N Boulting:Break! Futile?
SD Millar:B-Dog? GV Avermaet? T BMC, oh yes!
GV Avermaet:S! T! F! U! FFS, SD Millar, u cock!
Omnes:U seen hiz hatz, GV Avermaet? Roffle!
GV Avermaet:Millarnery2, lol!!1! Plz 2 send jpegs!
Omnes:U got m@il!
[…]
SD Millar:Today’s buzzthing iz “into teh red.” R-E-D. RED! Or was that Sunday’s? Perhaps iz “blow apart”?
Omnes:Our money iz on “Wind”!
S Cummings:O hai! Bide, bide, bidEEEEEE bai! Oh.
M Matthews:Oi, T Sunweb! WTF u playing at?
TD Gendt:O hai! I, TD Gendt, Racing Beast and tactical cauliflower, say go! From now on I want u all 2 call me “TRBD Gendt”!
Omnes:Whizzkid sittin’ pretty on hiz 2-wheeled stallion? LOL @ TD Gendt!
TD Gendt:Fck! Off!
M Matthews:Well bloody sod ya, then! I’ll do it miself! Oi, D Martin! Go! Away!
[…]
Bethany (7):I imagine W Barguil is keeping his hyperbole from going into teh red today. What, with a couple ov big mountain stages coming up an’ t’ing. And teh wind!
TD Gendt:I can still get ‘im, u know!
Bethany (7):Roffle!
J Bauer:Previously on ‘24’ I, J Bauer, haz conkered teh baddies M Matthews 1ngle handed!
[…]
SD Millar:Wind! T Sunweb! w00t!
M Kitteh:O hai! I, M Kitteh, do not liek dis game! Plz 2 stop it! Also, miaow!
N Boulting:Pelican! In pieces! M Smith & K “T D00d” House, speak 2 us ov Wind!
K House:Yes. No. Gutters. Aru Urán!
N Boulting:SCIENCE ov Wind! TV’s JA Flecha said so!
JA Flecha:He’s right, u know!
N Boulting:S Cummings not biding hiz tiem! S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel! Oh!
[…]
N Boulting:Lunchtiem!
M Smith:D Martin, M Kitteh!
Omnes:Crivvens! M Smith used a comma!

....................etc


Genius. Or bonkers.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 18, 2017, 11:06:18 pm
Both!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 19, 2017, 08:10:16 am
I never thought I'd actually find myself feeling sorry for M Kitteh.  And fans of Jarlin J Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking, will be pleased to know that he did finish yesterday, albeit ten minutes down.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 19, 2017, 08:35:11 am
Stage 16: Le Puy-En-Velay->Romans-Sur- Isère

Bethany (7):o hai g imlach ive got a bone 2 pik wif u wot u mene bout mi mum eh sa hi 2 niec c boardman & g tomas also u haz a typo on ur staeg map u silies xXx bthny
G Imlach:O hai! Le Puy! Nôtre Dame de France! U can climb out ov her head, u kno1!
NC Boardman:O hai! Wind!
G Imlach:Teams. C Froome haz one. D Martin haz one. R Bardet haz one. F Aru haz not one. Wind.
....................etc


Genius. Or bonkers.

+1

I never thought I'd actually find myself feeling sorry for M Kitteh...

There's a certain delight in watching Matthews sticking it to him stage after stage, though.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 19, 2017, 11:46:55 am
Ouch ! Still 160 to go and it is all over the show.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: cameronp on July 19, 2017, 11:59:34 am
Ouch ! Still 160 to go and it is all over the show.
Absolute carnage out there!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Karla on July 19, 2017, 12:19:17 pm
So, what's the betting that the Tour will be won by less than 8 seconds?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 19, 2017, 01:16:25 pm
Tell you on Monday.

Meanwhile it's quite amusing watching guys pick up bidons from the Vittel motorbike: they're held in quite tightly but they all anticipate an easy lift and woboboboble.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 19, 2017, 01:19:30 pm
Wonder if El Pistolero has reloaded himself today, he is flying up that lump, or just got given a biiig carrot to get up and over these lumps today.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 19, 2017, 01:20:09 pm
Tell you on Monday.

Meanwhile it's quite amusing watching guys pick up bidons from the Vittel motorbike: they're held in quite tightly but they all anticipate an easy lift and woboboboble.
yup one or two of them are rather sticky too ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Soaplady on July 19, 2017, 02:00:27 pm
Kittel abandons! Miaow
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 19, 2017, 02:30:12 pm
https://youtu.be/mqWqrmsS-uU

Sorry about crash all the same - missed it but after-effects look nasty. :(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 19, 2017, 03:36:17 pm
Dan !!! come on!

and ooop it goes ....
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 19, 2017, 03:57:00 pm
Attack and Attack !!!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 19, 2017, 04:02:40 pm
Now wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !!!!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ruthie on July 19, 2017, 04:06:09 pm
That Galibier is a bit of a hill isn't it!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ruthie on July 19, 2017, 04:19:26 pm
And Contador's red and white bike is so pretty.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 19, 2017, 04:37:16 pm
Poor old Alberto, I would really have liked to see him take a stage.  Red pockets are a poor reward.

Tell you what, though, this bit where they lie on the bars and crossbar is a graceless way to ride a bike.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: cameronp on July 19, 2017, 04:47:21 pm
And Contador's red and white bike is so pretty.
I was rather admiring Roglic's Bianchi during the descent.

Feeling a bit sorry for M Kitteh, but what a day! Top four still within a minute of each other.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 19, 2017, 04:49:25 pm
And two of them on the same time!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 19, 2017, 04:50:22 pm
And one of the two can TT on a good day. And he’s having many good days. Not the sort of situation Sky likes going into a time trial. Therefore I expect Sky to try something tomorrow.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Karla on July 19, 2017, 05:01:19 pm
Bardet will be kicking himself for letting Froome past him - he's lost eight seconds and one place for that.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: drgannet on July 19, 2017, 05:09:06 pm
Don't think there was any 'let' about it, it was all he had (but he started his sprint too far out).
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 19, 2017, 05:35:29 pm
That was a pretty good sprint by Bardet's standards. Froome and Uran were always going to beat him. I was surprised he beat Barguil.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 19, 2017, 05:45:11 pm
Tell you what, though, this bit where they lie on the bars and crossbar is a graceless way to ride a bike.

I believe they are more interested in speed than grace.  On a downhill I often sit-up and maximise body air brake to save using brakes so position must make a difference, graceful or not!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 19, 2017, 06:03:20 pm
Andy Wilkinson said 'never sacrifice style for speed'.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 19, 2017, 06:07:10 pm
PPTM sez soz 4 teh l8; meeting wif financial advisor & collecting motor-car from hostipal.  Rest assured that teh TdF Fake News will appear after teh news.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 19, 2017, 06:24:29 pm
PPTM sez soz 4 teh l8; meeting wif financial advisor & collecting motor-car from hostipal.  Rest assured that teh TdF Fake News will appear after teh news.
Well I don't know about that. It's not as if the meeting the the FA or the collection of the automobile from the menders were surprise events and will have been planned in advance. I may have to consider my subscription to PP.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 19, 2017, 06:33:47 pm
Iz question ov enough hours 2 catch up with teh recording. F Aru crossed teh finish lien @ 6pm local tiem.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 19, 2017, 07:15:24 pm
Chapeau to P Roglic for getting one "for sure" and four "crazy" into a single thirty second interview...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 19, 2017, 07:20:15 pm
Well, somebody had to restore the "crazy" quotient in post-stage interviews.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 19, 2017, 07:32:49 pm
Stage 17: La Mure->Serre-Chevalier

G Imlach:O hai! I Montoya N Quintana! T AS-TA-NA? T $ky?
M Rendall:Alohohahaha! Mi spikim SMERSH! Unser pelahim Bond James Bond dictu nyetski! A Valverde M Landa C Waddle! Major motion picture? Rosa Klebb!
G Imlach:I think that means “no”.
N Boulting:O hai! M Matthews?
SD Millar:O hai! Race within race! Whole different race! Ball race, mill race, horse race! Master race?
Omnes:Bridge!
C Lion:w00t!
N Boulting & SD Millar:Wind!
Omnes:What, again?
SD Millar:AG2R. Sneaky fckrs. Rampy!
Omnes:What, again? Get in teh cannon, SD Millar!
[…]
N Boulting:Chute!
Omnes:U gr8 ponce!
W Barguil:Piss!
Bethany (7):Noes!
TD Gendt:w00t! 4 sure!
M Kitteh:Arse! Bai bai snottyjumper!
T Katusha:We changed our mind. We don’t want him!
S Cummings:C me bide my… WTF? Mi trousis!
Omnes:5.8 from teh YACF judge!
S Cummings:GITS!!1!
M Kitteh:Hurrah 4 mi l33t car-holding 5k1llz! Back in teh pelican!
[…]
SD Millar:M Matthews… just having fun. Wot a creep1!
P Roglic:Oww!
Omnes:5.1. Poor!
SD Millar:Desperately desperate2!
Up teh Ornon…
TD Gendt:Ha! While W Barguil is stuck inside teh pelican I, T ‘Racing Beast’ D Gendt will steal all teh spottypoints! 4 sure!
M Matthews:O RLY?
Omnes:Power in teh darkness? LOL!
TD Gendt:U utter git, M Matthews! 4 sure!
M Matthews:Not’ing poisonal, jus’ bizniz!
[…]
N Boulting:Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE!
M Matthews:Iz not I don’t trust u, TD Gendt, but I don’t trust u!
TD Gendt:4 sure… (Whistles innocently…)
N Boulting:Reboot! Also, lunch! M Smith & B Hoban, make with teh erudition!
B Hoban:E Merckx!
M Kitteh:U remember wot I said yesterday? That, only more so!
N Quintana:O hai! Mi naem ect ect.
A Contador:O hai! Remind me which way 2 Spaign-o?
N Quintana:Giro? WTF woz I thinking?
Omnes:Have u tried hanging onto a motorbike, N Quintana roffle?
SD Millar:B Mollema, TT Segafredo, B Mollema! Pace. B Mollema!
N Boulting:Iz M Gogl!
SD Millar:(Improvising desperately…) TD Gendt?
M Gogl:(Gurgles)
S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel:(Whimpers…)
S Geschke:Oog!
A long way upper…
D Navarro:O hai, TD Gendt, o hai M Matthews! Made ov teh win, me!
TD Gendt!WTF?
M Matthews:OK, u win! Soz, W Barguil!
Bethany (7):Bum!
JJ Jarlinsson:O hai, A Contador! In spite ov ur crimes ov yesterday I, JJ Jarlinsson, teh Colombian Viking, will assist u in ur quest! Say hello 2 mi Questing Beast, El Fenrîrø!
A Contador:Nice doggie!
B Mollema:Wot about me? I pwned a stage too, u know!
Omnes:Who said that? LOL!
TD Gendt:Yay! MOAR spottypoints! Go me!
W Barguil:Yeah yeah and, moreover, wha’evs…
[Eventually…]
TD Gendt:OK, ‘nuff’s enuff! Tiem 4 a breather!
B Hoban:E Merckx!
M Kitteh:OK, ‘nuff’s enuff! Miaowwwwwwww!
M Matthews:FFS, M Kitteh, couldn’t u have doned that b4 teh Ornon?
B Hoban:Teh French, eh? J Anquetil! E Merckx!
P York (via email):Eat MOAR pies!
B Hoban:E Merckx!
[At teh bottom ov teh Télégraphe]
N Boulting:A Contador! L Minkies?
SD Millar:Yarbles! Negativity! All wrong! No RISPEK! Or somethings.
Omnes:Do u ‘ave a licence 4 ur Minkies roffle?
JJ Jarlinsson:OK, A Contador, up 2 u and Bignose over there!
SD Millar:B Swift. Wot’s he playing at? Wnkr!
[Onto teh Galibier…]
P Roglic:O hai! I may have felled off earlier but I haz teh spottypoints Télégraphique also!
A Contador:Snoo 2 ur spottyambitions, P Roglic! I, A Contador, haz fooled u all agane!
S Pauwels:O hai! Win, me!
N Boulting:Wind!
P Roglic:ComeonecomeOnCOMEON, A Contador!
A Contador:U not been here b4, have u, laddie!
SD Millar:Descent! C Froome!
A Contador:Fck! Off!
JD Notapuma:O hai! I, JD Notapuma am aktualy in teh race too, am made ov teh win and in teh absence ov M Kitteh, am teh only feline left on teh road! Thus it fall 2 me 2 say “Miaow”!
M Kitteh:Fck! Off!
D Martin:I ATE’NT DEAD!!1!
S Yates:Fck! Off!
M Kwiatkowski:Ug! Bai! M Nieve, over 2… Oh!
C Froome:Yoicks!
M Landa:Ph3@r not, C Froome, I will save u. Agane >:(
D Martin:Plz not 2 trouble ur self, M Landa! Oh.
W Barguil:Mi turn!
Bethany (7):Yay!
R Bardet:Mi turn!
C Froome:O RLY?
R Urán:O RLY?
F Aru:STOP THAT! IT’S SILLY! Oh. Arse!
Bethany (7):Leave W Barguil alone, u horrids!
P Roglic:Yay! Spottypoints!
W Barguil:Yay! Spottypoints!
P Roglic:Also, I am used 2 throwing miself off teh mountainz!
ML Maire:Look, see, that’s where mi motorcar b0rked its clutch cable in 1991!
[And breathe…]
P Roglic:\o/ Wot’s all teh fuss about, eh? I haz mi eye on ur spottyjumper, W Barguil!
Bethany (7):Fck! Off!
R Urán:Ha!
C Froome:Ha!
R Bardet:Piss!
F Aru:Aroooooooh… Fckls!
S Yates:U utter git, D Martin! But I still haz teh juniorshinyjumper so poo on L Minkies!
A Yates:Told u we should ov shared teh riding!
P Roglic:Crazy! 4 sure! Crazy!
CP Sagan:I heard that!
P Roglic:Crazy! Mi Mum & Dad & grilf! Crazy!
CP Sagan:I’m warning u!
E Macron:O hai! Je suis le président, aussi win. Wot u do?
R Bardet:WTF?
Bethany (7):Oi, G Imlach, u still not said wot u kno about mi Mum!
Bethany’s Mum:I ‘eard vat, u little slag! U gerrin ‘ere an’ do yore ‘omework!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 19, 2017, 08:23:33 pm
Iz question ov enough hours 2 catch up with teh recording. F Aru crossed teh finish lien @ 6pm local tiem.
On this occasion I suppose I iz prepared to make exceptions, though given the extra time you have to rite it I will accept nothing short of a ripping yarn like description of toady's yarnfull ripping in the lumpy bits.
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 19, 2017, 09:33:24 pm
What I really want to know, though, is:

Also, who was it who attacked Sir D Brailsford with the barrier?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 19, 2017, 10:02:56 pm
Also, who was it who attacked Sir D Brailsford with the barrier?

Couldn't say, but I did see that SDB was having a bit of a spat with a Cycling News journalist earlier this week... :demon: ;) :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 20, 2017, 07:40:14 am
And Contador's red and white bike is so pretty.
I was rather admiring Roglic's Bianchi during the descent.

I've never liked Bianchi green, three shades snottier than the snottyjumper*. With a name like Bianchi they should be brilliant, blazing white - like Alberto's Trek, in fact.


*M. Le Maire, vous nous avez haz tous infectés.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Little Jim on July 20, 2017, 09:50:15 am
Also, who was it who attacked Sir D Brailsford with the barrier?

Couldn't say, but I did see that SDB was having a bit of a spat with a Cycling News journalist earlier this week... :demon: ;) :demon:

We saw that last night in the highlights and I did wonder if the journo interviewing Sir Dave had spent 5 minutes asking innocuous questions while slowly manoeuvring him into position.

And what has happened to Quintana this race?  He is no where - is he ill or injured?  He was miles off the pace yesterday (quite literally I think) and yet it was a mountain stage where you would have expected him to do well.  He rode well in the Giro but is a very different rider now.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 20, 2017, 09:56:27 am
And what has happened to Quintana this race? ... He rode well in the Giro

Answering your own question there.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 20, 2017, 10:17:48 am
It feels like it is the last realistic chance for Bardet and Uran today, though its a mighty difficult task given how well Sky have performed when needed.

If by some miracle the gap was only say 10 seconds between 1st and 2nd come Sunday, would they actually race the last stage?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 20, 2017, 10:19:45 am
Yes
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 20, 2017, 10:59:27 am
Damn I forgot that La Course was on and live today. Though managed to turn on with 8km to go and local lass Lizzie is in the front and controlling the race. The other 7-9 are just about hanging on. 
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 20, 2017, 11:00:43 am
Will it get its own highlight show or will it get a 5 min mention in the Tour highlights? 
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 20, 2017, 11:03:38 am
I heard them speak about it yesterday on ITV so hopefully you will get a wee bit more than normal.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 20, 2017, 11:23:59 am
Brilliant win for Annemiek van Vleuten and second for Lizzie. I know that ITV might not read this, but PLEASE show more !!!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Legs on July 20, 2017, 11:25:36 am
Will it get its own highlight show or will it get a 5 min mention in the Tour highlights?
Well, it got full live coverage on ITV4, and it's available on catch-up, so ITV4'd be forgiven (IMO) for just giving it a cursory mention and getting on with the 7pm highlights show.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 20, 2017, 11:28:09 am
And what has happened to Quintana this race? ... He rode well in the Giro

Answering your own question there.

Merckx managed to win both in a year, three times.  ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 20, 2017, 12:26:14 pm
Brilliant win for Annemiek van Vleuten and second for Lizzie. I know that ITV might not read this, but PLEASE show more !!!
I hope they show Highlights; it will be exciting finding out who wins!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 20, 2017, 12:41:15 pm
And what has happened to Quintana this race? ... He rode well in the Giro

Answering your own question there.

Merckx managed to win both in a year, three times.  ;)

And as you well know that was in a time when dates were different and team tactics that we see in races of today did not exist.  So comparisons of old may be considered a tad meaningless which I am sure you are aware of by your winky face.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 20, 2017, 12:44:18 pm
Indurain did it a couple of times.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Legs on July 20, 2017, 12:58:54 pm
...and Pantani.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 20, 2017, 01:20:58 pm
Merckx managed to win both in a year, three times.  ;)

Yeah, but he was a doping git. ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 20, 2017, 01:23:00 pm
And how is this different?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 20, 2017, 01:24:15 pm
There you go:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_Crown_of_Cycling#Winning_two_grand_tours_in_one_year (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triple_Crown_of_Cycling#Winning_two_grand_tours_in_one_year)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 20, 2017, 01:40:54 pm
And how is this different?

Talking of which...

stark contrast between the ethical behaviour of Tim Wellens, (who abandoned the Tour rather than use a TUE) and self-proclaimed 'whiter than whiter Team Sky, who not only refuse to join the MPCC (because they "hold themself to a higher standard"    ::-)   )    but USE Tues to win races.

http://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/racing/tour-de-france/tim-wellens-refuses-tue-treat-illness-abandons-tour-de-france-342198
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 20, 2017, 02:15:58 pm
And how is this different?

 ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Wowbagger on July 20, 2017, 02:20:00 pm
Can someone explain something please?

There's a graphic on the ITV4 screen which shows a chequered flag, numeral 1, the distance left in the stage, a double-ended arrow, numeral 2, a yellow jersey, and then a time, currently over 8 minutes.

Does that really mean that the yellow jersey is 8 minutes behind the stage leader?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Legs on July 20, 2017, 02:21:35 pm
Yes.  It's a soft break - the best-positioned on GC is more than half an hour behind, so it's of little consequence overall.  The GC contenders will almost certainly catch them all by the end of the Izoard.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: rafletcher on July 20, 2017, 02:21:53 pm
Can someone explain something please?

There's a graphic on the ITV4 screen which shows a chequered flag, numeral 1, the distance left in the stage, a double-ended arrow, numeral 2, a yellow jersey, and then a time, currently over 8 minutes.

Does that really mean that the yellow jersey is 8 minutes behind the stage leader?

Yep, but the leading group are all half an hour or more behind on GC.

Edit: x-post with Legs.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Wowbagger on July 20, 2017, 02:24:32 pm
Ah. Hence the lack of urgency.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Karla on July 20, 2017, 02:25:36 pm
Yes

[x-post with Legs, RAF and Wow]
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 20, 2017, 02:26:36 pm
Yup, but most many of the leaders are planted there by the leaders' teams to help on the Izoard.

Although funnily enough, the leaders now look as if they're actually racing rather than looking for a pub.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 20, 2017, 02:53:33 pm
Does that really mean that the yellow jersey is 8 minutes behind the stage leader?

Yes.

That's a lot less significant than it sounds at this point in the race, especially with a big mountaintop finish like today.

In any case, even if the break stays away to win the stage, there is no rider in there who represents a threat to Froome in the overall standings.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 20, 2017, 03:11:06 pm
Indurain did it a couple of times.

Coppi did it twice, but also got both climbing jerseys both times.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 20, 2017, 03:55:08 pm
Just saw a Dalek
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 20, 2017, 03:55:34 pm
Just saw a Dalek

That was no Dalek, that was an Astana domestique ;D

Good to see *** is right on the ball today with his forecast of a fast descent off the Izoard :facepalm:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TheLurker on July 20, 2017, 04:10:15 pm
Just saw a Dalek

That was no Dalek, that was an Astana domestique ;D

Good to see *** is right on the ball today with his forecast of a fast descent off the Izoard :facepalm:
He's just playing up to his rep. as the clueless idiot on the commentating team.  And doing a bang-up job of it. :D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 20, 2017, 04:25:53 pm
IR camera on the left.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 20, 2017, 04:27:29 pm
IR camera on the left.

yeah I saw that too

3.5Km and it is blowing up
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ruthie on July 20, 2017, 04:29:00 pm
The Izoard - does anybody else feel like they'd like to ride it? It's an amazing landscape.

Don't suppose any of those boys get the chance to actually enjoy the ride, much less the view!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 20, 2017, 04:29:22 pm
Mikel Landa is a beast !!!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ruthie on July 20, 2017, 04:38:35 pm
Heck of a finish!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 20, 2017, 04:39:30 pm
Agreed!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Wowbagger on July 20, 2017, 04:41:57 pm
The Izoard - does anybody else feel like they'd like to ride it? It's an amazing landscape.

Don't suppose any of those boys get the chance to actually enjoy the ride, much less the view!

Yes! Name the day!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 20, 2017, 04:47:46 pm
Great stage, great result.  Sky thinking to have 2 on the podium in Paris?

Kiwi nipped out for a ciggie. Any sign of him yet?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 20, 2017, 04:55:05 pm
Chapeau to W Barguil for getting a "crazy" in right at the end of the interview. CP Sagan is phoning his lawyers.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 20, 2017, 04:58:48 pm
Kiwi nipped out for a ciggie. Any sign of him yet?

The guy knows how to leave it on the road.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 20, 2017, 04:59:27 pm
Chapeau to W Barguil for getting a "crazy" in right at the end of the interview. CP Sagan is phoning his lawyers.

He also said he was impressed by himself. I thought Sagan had a monopoly on that.

TBF, I think WB meant that he was surprised at what he could do after last year's vexations.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 20, 2017, 05:00:57 pm
Kiwi nipped out for a ciggie. Any sign of him yet?

The guy knows how to leave it on the road.

Home now, +13:41.

I'd be about +3 hours. Just on the climb.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 20, 2017, 05:08:24 pm
Video of Kwiatkowski immediately after pulling off:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zf2xXtxEZjE

Literally can’t turn the pedals.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 20, 2017, 05:23:19 pm
Stage 18: Briançon->Izoard

NC Boardman:C Froome… home & vigorously towelling himself off…
N Boulting:C Prudhomme, y u never start teh race at teh appointed tiem?
C Prudhomme:(Flaps arms) In my glider I’m teh Kadu Flyer!
Omnes:Reefer madness, MOAR liek!
C Prudhomme:OK, off u fck!
PT Voeckler:O hai! I, P’tit T Voeckler, am on mi last Tour ov France. Plz 2 let me win on teh Col ov teh Ladeez ov teh Fabulous Hair! Bit ov teh old ooh la la, knoworrimean?
A Goldfrapp:Oi!
Omnes:U & C Prudhomme been kicking teh bong around, PT Voeckler?
PT Voeckler:(Sulks)
TD Gendt:O hai! Me, T ‘Racing Beast’ D Gendt, agane! 1 Break ov Futility, medium rare, with chips & mayonnaise, coming right up!
S Cummings:O hai! Tiem? I iz biding it!
N Boulting:E ‘Twisted Firestarter’ Gesbert iz in teh break!
ETF Gesbert:FFS! Shut! Up!
SD Millar:… effectively a split pelican!
N Lawson1:Spatch. Cock. Mmmmmmmmm!
PT Voeckler:He-lloooooooooo inna-Leslie-Phillips-stylee!
N Boulting:T AS-TA-NA obvs haz teh cunning plan!
T Astana:WE WILL EX-TER-MIN-ATE TEH PE-LI-CAN, STOP 4 AN ICE CREAM & LET F A-RU FCK IT UP ON HIS OWN!
J Birdsong (via email):C!!1! I told u he was a git! Ooh, teh love iz bursting, bursting in me2!
P York:O hai! Feed zone, PT Voeckler, swimming pool!
M Smith:O hahahahaha swimming pools lol roffle hahaha!
Omnes:Fck! Off!
Bethany (7):O hai! I take it things are a bit quiet after teh initial mucking about, then?
G Imlach:Indeed they are, Bethany (7), indeed they are. Would u liek a full-tiem job next year?
Bethany (7):Only if u tell me everything u kno about mi Mum!
G Imlach:Meet me via Snapchat after skool…
[…]
ML Maire:C Froome iz off teh back ov teh pelican and u useless gits are wibbling about La Course with R Gilmore! FFS!
M Smith:He only stopped 4 a jimmy, u muppet!
R Gilmore:Just coz u didn’t get up early enough 2 watch it, u lazy fckr!
ML Maire:U haz caught me, R Gilmore, liek a Treen on a deflated spacehopper chiz3!
R Gilmore:I rode l’Etape, u know!
JR Shand (via email):BFD. U want a fish or something?
M Kitteh (via email):Did u sa “Fish”? I liek fish! Also, miaow!
Omnes (via Twitter):Back in ur cardboard box, M Kitteh!
[Rather later…]
NC Boardman:Ooh, a boat! With wings! Want!
N Boulting:L Calamityjane, TD Gendt, ect ect.
TD Gendt:Spottypoints ect ect.
NC Boardman:… and then they changed teh roolz about wheelz because hary doggie!
JJ Jarlinsson:U met mi frend El Fenrîrø, NC Boardman?
NC Boardman:Ulp! Niec doggie!
[…]
5:Where’s SD Millar 2da?
Omnes:Shopping 4 wankhats!
SD Millar:Fck! Off! Your all gay!
[On teh Vars]
Bethany (7):Still not very exciting, iz it?
SD Millar:Gravity, eh? They even keep it on at weekends!
N Boulting:No monster break by a GC contender this year chiz. Look, see, teh chimneys ov teh fairies!
TP Fairy:I haz solar-powered central heating, thank u ***!
SD Millar:Ooh! AG2R! R Bardet! Fight, fight!
N Boulting:Oh yes!
P Roglic:O hai! U kno wot I said about teh spottyjumper? Was lie! Crazy!
CP Sagan:Mi lawyers will be in touch!
W Barguil:Yay! Teh spottyjumper iz mine all mine.
Bethany (7):\o/ (Does cheerleader act agane)
N Boulting & SD Millar:Teh winner will come from teh break or teh pelican!
Omnes:O RLY?
[…]
JD Notapuma:O hai! It would seme that when it come 2 descending I am this: a Rubbish! May I say “miaow” at this point?
M Kitteh:No. No, u may not!
N Boulting:Oooh, C Gautier!
J White:Soz, ***, doesn’t scan.
T Gallopin:O hai! Work, u dogs!
S Cummings:It may look liek I iz biding mi tiem, but I iz not!
N Boulting:Tailwind, no rain, should be teh fast descent off ov teh Izoard4!
Omnes::facepalm:
[…]
A Lutsenko:Where iz everyone? MOAR 2 teh point, where TF iz F Aru?
E [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]ez:Bai!
O Niceone:Bai!
S Cummings:Bai!
C Gautier:Bai!
D Navarro, T Gallopin & JD Notapuma:Bai, but in teh opposite direction!
N Boulting:Tense, innit!
SD Millar:(Sighs) Yes. Yes, it iz (Aside…) Idiot!
A Lutsenko:Don’t leave me here! There’s BEARs and wolves, oh my!
JD Notapuma:And not-pumas! Oh yes!
R Bardet:C mi SEEKRIT weapon! O hai, J Bakelite!
T $ky:O RLY?
[Meanwhile…]
JD Notapuma:O hai, A Lutsenko! I hereby upgrade miself from “miaow” 2 “RAAAWWWRRR”!
J Alaphilippe:U hold him, M Kitteh, while I hit him!
W Barguil:O hai! Tiem 2 play!
Bethany (7):w00t!
[…]
D Martin:O hai! Did sumwun say F Aru iz in trub?
F Aru:U utter git, D Martin!
M Kwiatkowski:Sometimes I hate this job!
M Landa:OK, C Froome, hold mi BEER!
R Bardet:Tiem 2 play!
C Froome:I don’t think so, R Bardet!
R Urán:Oi! Remember me?
[…]
JD Notapuma:U utter git, W Barguil!
W Barguil:/o\ Just 4 teh change!
Bethany (7):(Faints)
[…]
R Bardet:Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE, only slower! Tiem bonus 4 meeeeeeeeee!
R Urán:Piss!
M Landa:LOL @ F Aru!
F Aru:Aroooooo
W Barguil:Crazy!
CP Sagan:FFS!
[…]
Bethany (7):WHAT!!1! Ur havin’ teh giraffe, G Imlach! Aren’t u?
[End credits…]

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 20, 2017, 09:16:23 pm
The Izoard - does anybody else feel like they'd like to ride it? It's an amazing landscape.

Don't suppose any of those boys get the chance to actually enjoy the ride, much less the view!

Yes! Name the day!

https://flic.kr/s/aHsk2HfhK1  ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 20, 2017, 11:15:50 pm
Never let it be said that we @ P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® iz teh bunch ov shirkers. Yes, we didn’t see it live. No, that doesn’t mean we are not interested…

La Course: Part Un

Bethany (7):Not interested!
5:Also not interested!
S Connolly:O hai! And o hai 2 TV’s R Gilmore!
R Gilmore:O hai & burn teh 7 year old heretics! I rode l’Etape!
W Weasel1:SFW?
R Gilmore:AV Vleuten! T Sunweb! M Vos! I rode l’Etape!
[After much mucking about and frequent reminders from R Gilmore that she rode l’Etape…]
S Connolly:Look, see, teh pelican haz been blown apart! Peloton! Arse! Oh. It iz back together!
A Plichta:Had enuff! 2 teh pub! Oi, G Thomas! Ur round!
R Gilmore:L Deignan! L’Etape!
A Cure:Yoicks! Mi biek! WTF?
S Connolly:FdJ!
Omnes:Hope they iz less useless than teh mans’ FdJ!
A Démare:I told u!! I woz ill!
M Weaver:Owwwwww! FFS!
V Guilman:Whoopsie!
A Reis:FFS, V Guilman! Look where ur going! U b0rked mi biek!
V Guilman:Soz! (Exit, pursued by T Lares’ DS)
[…]
S Connolly:Wind! Did u climb teh Izoard, R Gilmore?
R Gilmore:Well, yes, but I was trying not 2 menshn it!
W Weasel::facepalm:
[…]
L Villumsen:O hai! I, L Villumsen, am made ov teh win! And I iz a proper Viking, unliek teh gr8 ponce JJ Jarlinsson! CU l8r, suxx0r5!
[…]
L Deignan:O hai! Look, see, I iz on teh tellybox! And I haz teh coolest shades! Work, u dogs!
TB Dolmans:Yeth, mithtreth!
R Gilmore:Ooh, look, I rode this bit teh other day!
Omnes:O RLY?
R Gilmore:Yes. Yes, I did. And this bit!
[Eventually…]
S Connolly:Ooh, decimated pelican!
M Berry:I wouldn’t put that inna CAEK!
Omnes:Who’s that on teh BSO? Teh one with teh rucksack full ov baguettes? She was going pretty well!
L Villumsen:Piss! Still, worth a try, eh, readers?
L Deignan:C me bide mi tiem!
S Cummings:I wish I’d said that!
ML Maire:Swimming pool! And silly M Smith & P York not here 2 see it! Roffle!
R Gilmore:Pain face!
M Guarnier:O hai! L Deignan, mi so-called team-mate, WTF? U haz killed me utterly 2 DETH!
L Deignan:Soz2! (Aside…) LOL!
AV Vleuten:O hai! I am AV Vleuten and I am made ov teh Win! Right, I iz off!
E Lamborghini:Bum!
S Gillow:Bum also!
[…]
ML Maire:Y AV Vleuten not got teh number on back? Disqualibobificationism!
AV Vleuten:Yoicks! Mi biek… nah, only joaking!
R Gilmore:Diesel engine! I rode l’Etape!
E Lamborghini:I ATE’NT DEAD!!1!
S Connolly:(Uncontrollable squeaking…)
AV Vleuten:\o/ And I haz 43 seconds over L Deignan 4 Part Deux!
L Deignan:(Pain face) Oh, u mean teh Thing!
J Bakelite:Don’t fancy urs much! Roffle!
Omnes:Wanker!
Bethany (7):Soz, R Gilmore! Not very exciting. And no W Barguil.
R Gilmore:Fck! Off! I rode l’Etape!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Wascally Weasel on July 21, 2017, 12:21:58 am
*dies happy after being immortalised on the pages of PP*

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 21, 2017, 07:39:59 am
https://flic.kr/s/aHsk2HfhK1  ;)

:thumbsup:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 21, 2017, 09:33:11 am
So this La Course thing. It's totally almost exactly the same as TdF, run over the same roadz 'n evryfink but 's only two stages cuz it's for GURLZ...?

I'll be hiding behind the counter in the shop. Did I just type that...??!?







Banjo: Our Mam sedd 'No hittin gurlz...' [Enuff! My office, Monday morning! Woof, woof, yer fired...]
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 21, 2017, 09:59:49 am
When she wasn't hiding her l'Etape-riding exploits under a bushel, TV's R Gilmore banged on at some length about being short-changed over the ride distance before opining that a lot of the riders would have been glad1 that the race was only 67 km.  I did not know whether to laugh, cry or ask Jarlin J Jarlinsson2 to introduce her to El Mjölñiro.  Also limiting what Wor Lizzie so eloquently referred to as "The Thing" to the top 20 finishers or those within five minutes of the winner rankles a bit.  Shovel them down the ramp ASAP and let's be done with them, eh, M Prudhomme?

1: I should like to ask them myself, but that pesky restraining order still applies in France
2: I expect he has A Thing of his own about ladies with horned helmets and heavy metal breastplates.  Be concerned, Mr Torslanda, if he ever rocks up at your shop.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 21, 2017, 10:22:25 am
Roffle!  ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 21, 2017, 10:36:18 am
Has this "pursuit-style" format been used before at elite level? Are the women a bunch of guinea-pigs for this?


[I can see why they might limit the field size - the logistics could be a pain-in-the-arse with irregular start-times. /touradvocate ]
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 21, 2017, 11:08:05 am
Has this "pursuit-style" format been used before at elite level? Are the women a bunch of guinea-pigs for this?
I don't know how it will work, but I hope that it will not translate as phased starts for the riders, with those who drew out a 45 second lead in the mountains getting a 45 second lead on the flats on the next stage.
"well done for all that hard work, you now get an insignificant advantage on a pack of riders"
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 21, 2017, 11:12:52 am
[I can see why they might limit the field size - the logistics could be a pain-in-the-arse with irregular start-times. /touradvocate ]

Tbh, I don't see much point bothering with more than the top 10 riders anyway. Over a 22km course with the time gaps as they are, only a few riders are realistically in with a shout of winning. The last rider is setting off 5 minutes behind Van Vleuten. What's the point?

On paper, it sounds like a preposterous format, but it could make for an interesting spectacle. We'll see.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 21, 2017, 11:16:17 am
"well done for all that hard work, you now get an insignificant advantage on a pack of riders"

It won't be a pack though, it will be individual riders setting off at erratic intervals.

Time gaps for riders 2-10 are:
0:43
1:23
1:28
1:33
1:41
1:51
2:24
2:52
3:04

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ivo on July 21, 2017, 11:20:05 am
Has this "pursuit-style" format been used before at elite level? Are the women a bunch of guinea-pigs for this?


[I can see why they might limit the field size - the logistics could be a pain-in-the-arse with irregular start-times. /touradvocate ]

The weekend after the giro it was experimented with an event in my region, a lot of World Tour teams particdipated.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 21, 2017, 11:22:06 am
As someone who has raced plenty of handcaps on road and track, riders 2, 3 and 4 (in that list) should definitely have a chat before starting, to arrange working together quite quickly. Riders 9 and 10 should talk to each other too. Pre-arranged groups shouldn't get too big because the prizemoney has to be split too many ways.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 21, 2017, 11:25:01 am
The ones in front can always soft-pedal and wait for a group to form if they fancy a sprint.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 21, 2017, 11:34:00 am
As someone who has raced plenty of handcaps on road and track, riders 2, 3 and 4 should definitely have a chat before starting

Riders 2 and 4 are teammates, which should make that conversation a little easier.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 21, 2017, 11:39:30 am
Handicaps are popular in Australia.
https://cyclingtips.com/2009/05/australian-handicap-races/

I have a memory of reading that the North Road club ran handicaps in the 1880s, as a way of providing a spectacle at the finish, while pretending that it wasn't a race.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Sea of vapours on July 21, 2017, 11:58:47 am
The 'pursuit' style works pretty well for running races (longish ones that is) as there is no slipstreaming advantage. In cycling, where slipstreaming is very significant, it seems like a pretty bad idea.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 21, 2017, 12:06:15 pm
As someone who has raced plenty of handcaps on road and track,

I said "at ELITE level" Dave!


;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: DuncanM on July 21, 2017, 12:27:40 pm
It seems like an individual version of this:
http://www.velon.cc/en/news/2017/02/introducing-the-hammer-series
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 21, 2017, 12:55:27 pm
I raced against national team members and overseas professionals in several of those handicaps. The idea of handicaps is that riders with a range of abilities compete on a roughly equal footing.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 21, 2017, 05:36:02 pm
Stage 19: Embrun->Salon-De-Provence

Bethany (7):mum mum wots orl dis bout u &… [FX: Slap (fortissimo)]
Bethany (7):(Starts crying)
Bethany’s Mum:I tole u! I fukn tole u abaht torkin’ 2 strangerz! I’ll give u sumfing 2 cry abaht, u nosy little ho! I wish I’d never’ad u! Nah fck off 2 skool!
Bethany (7):It’s teh holibobz! Going 2 5’s… (Aside…) Fukn c-o-w!
[…]
G Imlach:O hai! It iz I, TV’s G Imlach, quipster par excellence! Spare a thort 4 teh 3 rubbish climbs on 2da’s stage, rendered non-elephant by W Barguil, may his House be Free from Tigers! Knicker-gripping stuff yesterday, right kids?
C Froome:Blah blah M Landa blah R Urán blah blah R Bardet blah time trial. Blah.
G Imlach:T Sunweb!
M Matthews:Yay! Snottyjumper!
CP Sagan:Gertcha!
G Imlach:Break? Sprint? Loonie?
NC Boardman:T Sunweb. M Matthews.
G Imlach:B-Dog. A Greipel?
Omnes:MUNKEH!!1!
[…]
N Boulting:O hai! Guess it’s going 2 be MOAR châteaux, churches and lunch 2da!
SD Millar:O hai! Shall I talk about hydro-electrickery?
N Boulting:Not if u want 2 live!
SD Millar:Today’s word iz “opportunity”. OPP-OT-TU-NI-TY! Game theory!
N Boulting:Who would begrudge B-Dog a win 2da?
M Matthews:Me 4 starters!
A Greipel:Me 2!
Omnes:MUNKEH!!1!
[…]
N Boulting:Ur l8 agane, C Prudhomme!
C Prudhomme:OK! Off u fck! PT Voeckler, la France expects ect ect!
PT Voeckler:Nah!
S Cummings:Bide, bide, zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
N Boulting:Bridge!
C Lion:w00t!
[…]
5’s Mummy:Air hellay, Bethany! Good heavens, what on earth happened 2 u?
Bethany (7):Walktinnaradormissispoulidorfanshaw…
5’s Mummy:Syrah!
5:Air hellay Mummy o hai bef’ny! Mai poney haz swallowed hiz bit, Mummy, and Ai cannot find teh spanner!
5’s Mummy:Not agane, dahling! Ai suppose Ai’ll have 2 Get A Man In!
5:Soooooper! OK, bef’ny, lessgo watch teh Tour! Can we take some kumquats, Mummy?
[…]
N Boulting:Dam! Very big! SCIENCE figures concrete and clay!
SD Millar:Ur numbers, ***, they mean nothing 2 me!
Omnes:Oh Vienna LOL!
SD Millar:(Sulks)
N Blackwell:(Sings) Midge Ure, looks liek a milk thief!
SD Millar:Team classification! T $ky!
N Boulting:Break. Broken. PT Voeckler? TD Gendt?
[…]
N Boulting:Big break! Usual suspects! w00t!
SD Millar:Teh winner iz in teh break because I, TV’s Super D Millar, say so! Snottyjumper Australia E Zabel!
[An awful lot l8r…]
N Boulting:Salade Niçoise! What did u have 4 lunch, TV’s Nice C Boardman?
NC Boardman:Can’t remember!
N Boulting:Last climb. Launchpaddy1!
Omnes:R Porte on D Martin? Irish space programme roffle?
Bethany (7):That was rubbish!
N Boulting:Shut! Up! Wind!
NC Boardman:Thunderstorm?
N Boulting:B-Dog! La Thing?
NC Boardman:Yes. No. Bugadifino!
T Things:Oi!
[…]
N Boulting:Provence! Très Provençy2! And now TV’s M Rendall will baffle us with cabbages and rhinoceroses in teh kitchen and incessant quotations from "Now We Are Six" through teh mouthpiece ov Lord Snooty's giant poisoned electric head! 4 all teh sense anyone can make ov it.
M Rendall:O hai! Frecce Tricolore Pavarotti! Whoooosh!
N Boulting:Not in 1903 though!
M Rendall:Nyet! Caramba son Frank Whittle der Futuroscope! Bagot-Mazurie! Fandabbidozi, Fandabbisneezy, Wünderschönigrumpy! Bashful Nostradamus B-Dog sieg aujour d’hui. Punque stein bouzouki elettro! Bai!
SD Millar:Has he gone yet?
N Boulting:Alliance in break? Break off break? Race within race. Wheels within wheels. B-Dog?
GV Avermaet:Don’t listen 2 those idiots, B-Dog!
[After an interminable amount ov sod-all…]
TD Gendt:White line fever! Snottypoints!
N Boulting:Rabies!
SD Millar:Puppy-dog! Back 2 slepe 4 me!
[…]
Omnes:Oooh! Hullo clouds, hullo sky! Rain? C Boardmen!
NC Boardman:ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!
EC Boardman:Oh, I do hope so!
[After ML Maire’s afternoon nap…]
SD Millar:B Swift!
N Boulting:Everyone else in teh break! B-Dog! B Mollema long range!
SD Millar:B-Dog. S Calamityjane?
L Calamityjane:Did he call me Len “Sue” again? U better kepe out ov dark alleys, SD Millar!
T Moviestar:Lights, camera, action! Tiem 4 our close-up!
B-Dog:O hai! I don’t think so. Woof woof! Sausages!
SD Millar:Look, see, teh break iz b0rked! TD Gendt! J Bakelite!
Omnes:Wnkr!
Bethany (7):Fukn wnkr!
(Dicking about…)
N Arndt:Ur turn, whoever iz behind m… oh! Piss!
B-Dog:\o/ Waiting 4 teh sprint iz 4 teh kittehs roffle! Sausages!
M Kitteh (via Instabook):I heard that! Also, miaow!
N Arndt:U utter GIT, EB Hagen!
Bethany (7):Swings & roundabouts LOL!!1!

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 21, 2017, 05:37:51 pm
Bethany (7):Swings & roundabouts LOL!!1!

Now that's what I call a pay-off line!  ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 21, 2017, 05:52:45 pm
Serendipity, or well-planned?

The same goes for Higgs Boson and Arndt. ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 21, 2017, 06:42:48 pm
I'm sure Vsquared's team of crack brainiacs will find out for us whether Arndt & Higgs Boson checked the map or were just spawny gits but Higgs Boson would probably have won anyway.

ETA: both Arndt & Higgs Boson said their "keep right" antics were deliberate.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 22, 2017, 01:35:47 pm
La Thing Course: Part Deux

Bethany (7):Still not interested!
5:Also still not interested!
R Gilmore:O hai! How I wish I could have u 2 shot!
ML Maire:I wish u could haz U2 shot also! Ba-dum tish!!1!
[…]
G Imlach:O hai! It iz I, TV’s G Imlach, so laden with les blagues that I haz difficulty getting out ov bed! La Thing: not a tiem-trial. Tiem-trial course. No tiem-trial bieks. Ect. TV’s S Connolly & R Gilmore!
S Connolly:O hai & …
R Gilmore:O hai! AV Vleuten! One ov teh best tiem-triallists in teh wurrrlld!
S Connolly:And that…
R Gilmore:L Deignan! Will she wait 4 E Lamborghini & M Guarnier? AV Vleuten iz 1 ov teh bestest tiem-triallists in teh wurrrlld!
S Connolly:And…
L Deignan:O hai! I am L Deignan and I am made ov teh Win! But not so much win that I can catch AV Vleuten by miself! C me bide mi tiem until E Lamborghini & M Guarnier rock up!
E Lamborghini & M Guarnier:O hai, L Deignan! Shall we dance?
R Gilmore:C them chase AV Vleuten who iz 1 ov teh bestest tiem-triallists in teh wurrrlld!
Bethany (7):FFS, C Prudhomme! Y u not show all teh riders starting? I, Bethany (7), will kick u in teh nutz given ½ teh chance!
S Connolly:I… Tiem 4 shitverts!
Bethany (7):FFS, Vsquared!
[…]
S Connolly:I…
M Guarnier:FFS, L Deignan, mi so-called “team-mate”! U haz killed me utterly 2 DETH! Agane!
R Gilmore:I think it will be hard 4 L Deignan & E Lamborghini 2 catch AV Vleuten who iz 1 ov teh bestest tiem-triallists in teh wurrrlld!
Omnes:O RLY!
AV Vleuten:Yes. Yes, I am!
S Connolly:.
R Gilmore:AV Vleuten will now win La Thing because a) she iz 1 ov teh bestest tiem-triallists in teh wurrrlld b) she iz 1 ov teh bestest climbers in teh wurrrlld c) I, TV’s R Gilmore say so.
AV Vleuten:Win: I haz it!
L Deignan:Piss. Still, 2nd iz better than being nibbled utterly to DETH by an okapi, right kids?
E Lamborghini:Arse!
S Connolly: I, er, MOAR shitverts!
[…]
AV Vleuten:Verry ‘appy!
L Deignan:Teh format needs some, er work. (Aside…) With a boat and 2 sacks ov cement!
R Gilmore:w00t! Xitintoday or wot?
Bethany (7):No, R Gilmore. No, it was not. It was teh badly-televised waste ov tiem and C Prudhomme and hiz homies should be ashamed ov themselves! These women are serious professional cyclists, not teh performing munkehs! Teh crit in Paris: better, or would be if ur TV director pointed teh cameraz @ teh riders & not @ teh scenery! C Prudhomme, u better maek sure u wear teh criket box if u ever meet me >:(
R Gilmore:I…
Bethany (7):And u! Shut! Up! Srsly, u capable ov keeping ur tongue still 4 MOAR than 3 seconds? FFS!
R Gilmore:I rode l’ Etape!
NC Boardman:I, TV’s Nice C Boardman, agree with Bethany (7)!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 22, 2017, 01:47:45 pm
Missed it. :(

BTW, Team BOH is Bastard Operator from Hell, isn't it?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 22, 2017, 02:14:32 pm
Missed it. :(

Not much. I think the only thing we learned from that was that the format doesn't work on such a short course with the time gaps as they were.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 22, 2017, 03:17:40 pm
L Rowe: he's quite good at this punditry thing :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 22, 2017, 04:13:26 pm
Missed it. :(

Not much. I think the only thing we learned from that was that the format doesn't work on such a short course with the time gaps as they were.
True :)

Of course that assumes that they wanted an exciting finale. Which they certainly didnt get. (It was no less dull than I expect the men's "normal" TT to be today, but that's not very relevant.) One might argue that it did succesfully measure the best performance over the two stages.

I got the impression that lizzie's diplomatic comment - "It does need some work." - was more about the experience the riders had than the "spectacle". It amazes me how shambolic elite bike races can still be in 2017. Why no radios? That seems guaranteed to suck any tension out of a format where the riders can't even see each-other from the off. They only needed 20 of the flippin things!
Coverage was appaling - even Luke "Lanterne Rouge" Rowe had better camerawork. I have numerous other whinges ...

And the issue of why the wimmins could only ride the last 67km of the Izoard stage seems to have been hushed up. I shall congratulate my female clubmate on her impossible completion of The Etape!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 22, 2017, 04:26:59 pm
Froome made that hill look easy. Sadly the booing is high.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 22, 2017, 04:35:54 pm
Pleasing to see Bardet crossing the line ahead of Froome though, and doing just enough to keep his podium spot.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 22, 2017, 04:48:09 pm
By less than a second. He didn't expect that this morning. I reckon he chose the wrong gearing for the climb, but it was the sea-front wind that sank him.  Froome went motoring up the hill with what looked like twice the cadence, but then he does that.

Poor old Landa will be a bit bored.

A wee bit pissed off at the booing, but unfortunately it's common enough in French sport.  I once went to the French R.U. championship final with Béziers supporters, and the stuff they screamed at Clermont would have taken paint off a wall.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Salvatore on July 22, 2017, 05:21:13 pm
Froome was 51 sec ahead of Uran after the opening TT.  He's now 54 sec ahead, so he was pulling away from Uran at an average of 1 second a week.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 22, 2017, 05:36:36 pm
I tend to prefer it when the yellow jersey wins the occasional stage along the way, but that's just me being picky.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 22, 2017, 05:39:33 pm
Stage 20: Marseille

NC Boardman:T Martin! Sandpaper, saddle! Maeks mi eyes water and probably illegal!
G Imlach:O hai! Me agane, wot Bethany (7) said, and over 2 TV’s N Boulting & Super D Millar!
N Boulting:O hai! L Rowe, lanterne rouge, Marseille, isn’t it brilliant! SD Millar, iz teh climb T Martinable1?
SD Millar:No. No, it iz not. I, TV’s Super D Millar, hold it 2 be much MOAR C Froomey! Teh bitsteepfulness ov it iz terrific and teh descent iz scarymongoosetastic!
N Boulting:Iz S Cummingsworthi?
SD Millar:Yes. Yes, it iz. Sketchy.
Omnes:FFS, u 2, enuff already with teh neologisms!
SD Millar:“Sketchy” iz teh perfectly cromulent word!
N Boulting:At least it iz not raining roffle! Gears!
SD Millar:Rain would be altogether too lolmungous 4 everyone xept TV’s Evil C Boardman! Everyone haz teh wrong gears because I, TV’s Super D Millar, say so!
N Boulting:… G Bole, a Slovenian very much liek P Roglic2
Omnes::facepalm:
L Rowe:w00t! Teh hot seat! Oh! Plz can I haz a towel? Mi bum iz on fire!
M Rendall:O halloumi L Rowe stadio assourdissant myn stieg blong reverse gear?
L Rowe:O hai! W Rooney! (Aside…) What did he just say?
G Thomas:‘s OK, L Rowe, u will not be there long. Come 2 teh pub when u get beat; iz my round!
5:(Sighs…) Oooh, he’s so yummy!
G Thomas:Yoicks!
[…]
S Cummings:O hai! I, S Cummings, no longer liek this game! Iz hot! Plz I come 2 teh pub too, G Thomas?
G Thomas:Teh MOAR teh merrier! Hic!
[…]
SD Millar:Teh form bok: iz nonse!
N Boulting:T Martin! M Bodnar! V Kiryienka!
Omnes:Iz V Kiryienka wearing teh V Kiryienka mask agane, *** LOL?
N Boulting:Fck! Off!
M Bodnar:O hai! I doned teh bestest tiem and u useless fckrs not put me on teh TV until last 2nd! U utter gits!
T Martin:Piss!
M Bodnar:Yay! Pwnage!
[…]
J Castroviejo:WTF? 30 seconds in and I fall off? FFS!
B-Dog:O hai! Niec ov u 2 make me into E Higgs BOson. Not.
PT Voeckler:O hai! Bof! Hollywood beckons!
M Kwiatkowski:Arse!
P Roglic:Noes! Mi biek! Piss!
S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel:O hai! I, S [“Poisonous term” – Ed.]anel, multiple tiem-trial champion ov France, am not enjoying zis vair much! Still, 17 consecutive Tours ov France, she iz not 2 be sniffed @, hein?
Bethany’s Mum:Sniff? U got sniff? He-lloooo, big boy!
Bethany (7):FFS!
[…]
Bethany (7):Yay! Go W Barguil!
A Contador:O hai! Spaign-o? Which way plz?
[…]
A Contador:Ha ha! Fooled u! Agane! Roffle!
M Bodnar:Yoicks!
W Barguil:O hai! I, W Barguil, Roi des Montagnes, sez this course iz teh suxx0r!
N Boulting:Juniorshinyjumper. Teh climb will favour S Yates. And L Minkies3.
Omnes::facepalm:
S Yates:Yay! Teh juniorshinyjumper iz mine!
[…]
R Urán:O hai! Get rich or die trying, eh?
R Bardet:I ATE’NT DEAD! (Dies)
M Landa:Wowsa!
R Urán:Hullo clouds hullo T $ky hullo crash barrier! Whoopsie!
Bethany (7):U muppet, R Urán!
C Froome:I C U, R Bardet!
SD Millar:Eeeep!
M Landa:Piss! TP Fairy, plz 2 attack R Bardet 2moro? A lot!
R Bardet:Ooog! 2 close 4 wossname, that!
Bethany (7):LOL @ R Bardet!
C Froome:Yay!
M Bodnar:Fck off, C Froome! Only 1 person pwned teh stage, u kno! Me. Meeeee!
[…]
SD Brailsford:Vell, C Froome’s just zis guy, u kno!
[…]
TD Gendt:W Barguil most aggressive rider? FFS!
Bethany (7):\o/ (MOAR dancing…)


So, teh stage iz set 4 teh ceremonial Pootle into [”so Money Supermarket” - Ed.] Paree. Will *** finally learn teh difference between a village and a hamlet? Can A Greipel finally win a stage? Who will Bethany (7) kick next? Will we get 2 see teh genuine pelican? Will S Yates emulate his brother and turn into teh mardy toddler? Tune in 2moro 4 teh final slab ov teh TdF 2017 Alternative Lies!!1! And not 2 forget teh prestigious P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® Awardz Sponsored by Teh Watchfinder-General’s mate P0rl from Leatherhead: “Much MOAR betterer than teh silly old Oscraz” ~ Bethany (7).
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 22, 2017, 06:08:32 pm
Are any bonus seconds on offer tomorrow?  I recall someone popping up a step in the pecking order in this way on a previous tour - though I could be mistaken. 
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: toontra on July 22, 2017, 06:12:48 pm
Are any bonus seconds on offer tomorrow?  I recall someone popping up a step in the pecking order in this way on a previous tour - though I could be mistaken.

Apparently yes, so Landa could get on the podium.  That would make for a final stage worth watching (the sprint anyway). 

Whether it's in the "spirit" of the Tour and it will be allowed to happen I don't know.  It would certainly be extremely unpopular with the crowd to the point where there could be nasty scenes on the podium!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 22, 2017, 06:49:51 pm
There's an intermediate sprint. I would be very surprised if there wasn't a bid by Landa and some of his team to make at least a half attempt at that sprint. I don't think they will try at the final sprint.

Bardet looked a bit beaten up today, so might not be in a good position to defend any attempts by Landa.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 22, 2017, 06:54:27 pm
It would also require Landa to out sprint the likes of Greipal, BH and the Green jumper to name a few and that is not going to happen. Equally unlikely is Team Sky being allowed to break away.

Barring accidents etc, podium positions have been set in stone and Landa will have accepted that and realised that an extra stomach wrenching effort over the last 50m or less would have put him on the podium.  I think he has ridden brilliantly and look forward to seeing him 'off the leash' next year.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 22, 2017, 06:56:39 pm
There's an intermediate sprint. I would be very surprised if there wasn't a bid by Landa and some of his team to make at least a half attempt at that sprint. I don't think they will try at the final sprint.

Bardet looked a bit beaten up today, so might not be in a good position to defend any attempts by Landa.

With time bonus or just jersey points?

Might have been relevant if Green jersey was still in play for points. Perhaps they will allow Tommy V to have the honour on his last TdF.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 22, 2017, 07:07:49 pm
I tend to prefer it when the yellow jersey wins the occasional stage along the way, but that's just me being picky.
You mean like that Texan fella did?


To be fair to Froome, he came pretty close a few times. I think this was his most exciting win yet! (make of that what you will ... )
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 22, 2017, 07:15:49 pm
I tend to prefer it when the yellow jersey wins the occasional stage along the way, but that's just me being picky.
You mean like that Texan fella did?


To be fair to Froome, he came pretty close a few times. I think this was his most exciting win yet! (make of that what you will ... )

I was thinking more of this chap (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_career_achievements_by_Eddy_Merckx#Palmar.C3.A8s).  Perhaps my expectations are unrealistic.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 22, 2017, 07:19:39 pm
No time bonuses at intermediate sprints this year so Landa would have to be in the top three at the end. Can't see it with the likes of Greipel, Matthews, Bouhanni, Degenkolb and probably nine or a dozen others all going for the stage.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 22, 2017, 07:25:36 pm
I tend to prefer it when the yellow jersey wins the occasional stage along the way, but that's just me being picky.
You mean like that Texan fella did?


To be fair to Froome, he came pretty close a few times. I think this was his most exciting win yet! (make of that what you will ... )

I was thinking more of this chap (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_career_achievements_by_Eddy_Merckx#Palmar.C3.A8s).  Perhaps my expectations are unrealistic.
That was a long time ago. Did you race against him?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ian H on July 22, 2017, 07:28:01 pm

That was a long time ago. Did you race against him?

No, just shook his hand.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 22, 2017, 07:30:39 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TheLurker on July 22, 2017, 08:58:00 pm
I think I'd like to see a few more Ts de F like this one.  Nice not to have the result irrevocably1 decided a week or more before the end.   At the moment am not sure whether to be miffed that R. Bardet didn't win or pleased that C. Froome did.

Just out of interest; anyone know/remember any other edition of the tour where one team has held the yellow jumper (TM *** Boulting) for very nearly the whole race? 

1 - I know; nothing is irrevocable in bike racing until the race is over2, but in some recent years it has been a case of , "tell me how much he's won by" rather than "will he be able to hold onto his lead".

2 - Assuming there has been no naughtiness on the part of the "winning" rider.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 22, 2017, 09:38:13 pm
Just out of interest; anyone know/remember any other edition of the tour where one team has held the yellow jumper (TM *** Boulting) for very nearly the whole race? 

Has been held by same rider for whole tour on 4 previous occasions:

https://www.rodalewellness.com/fitness/tour-de-france-jersey-history/slide/1 (https://www.rodalewellness.com/fitness/tour-de-france-jersey-history/slide/1)

And I think what is really impressive is that Team Sky have held the Team classification from start to finish, which just shows how strong a team they were overall.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on July 22, 2017, 09:39:42 pm
Have a look at
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_jersey_statistics
and
http://www.letour.fr/HISTO/us/TDF/index.html

Check out the years when there were very few yellow jersey holders.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: αdαmsκι on July 22, 2017, 11:50:17 pm
And I think what is really impressive is that Team Sky have held the Team classification from start to finish, which just shows how strong a team they were overall. much more money they have compared to other teams.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: psyclist on July 23, 2017, 05:39:33 am
No time bonuses at intermediate sprints this year so Landa would have to be in the top three at the end. Can't see it with the likes of Greipel, Matthews, Bouhanni, Degenkolb and probably nine or a dozen others all going for the stage.

I didn't realise there were no time bonuses at the intermediate sprint, so I agree, the podium looks set as it is.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Relayer on July 23, 2017, 09:35:09 am
No time bonuses at intermediate sprints this year so Landa would have to be in the top three at the end. Can't see it with the likes of Greipel, Matthews, Bouhanni, Degenkolb and probably nine or a dozen others all going for the stage.

... still waiting to see Degenkolb and Bouhanni dukin it out!  A fighting finale   ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 23, 2017, 10:59:55 am
Why start a race at 5 pm in Paris! I got a train to catch!!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 23, 2017, 11:31:55 am
They don't. In Paris it starts at 4 pm. ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 23, 2017, 12:09:24 pm
And I think what is really impressive is that Team Sky have held the Team classification from start to finish, which just shows how strong a team they were overall. much more money they have compared with other teams.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 23, 2017, 12:11:27 pm
They don't. In Paris it starts at 4 pm. ;D

I am in Paris right now and the schedule is that it'll be on champs Elysees at 5.15pm ::demon !! I'll catch them once and dash to Gare du Nord!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 23, 2017, 01:34:30 pm
No time bonuses at intermediate sprints this year so Landa would have to be in the top three at the end. Can't see it with the likes of Greipel, Matthews, Bouhanni, Degenkolb and probably nine or a dozen others all going for the stage.

I didn't realise there were no time bonuses at the intermediate sprint, so I agree, the podium looks set as it is.
I'm fairly sure that they had them for a period sometime this century, and there was a possible podium place hinging on them one year. Of course the sprinter types grabbed them anyway, but that situation may be what led to scrapping them.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 23, 2017, 01:58:42 pm
I'm fairly sure that they had them for a period sometime this century, and there was a possible podium place hinging on them one year. Of course the sprinter types grabbed them anyway, but that situation may be what led to scrapping them.

You might be thinking of 2005, when Vinokourov escaped in the final kilometre to win the stage. The time gap plus bonus seconds saw him jump from 5th to 4th place in GC, ahead of Leipheimer.

And then everyone was disqualified for being dirty cheating nobbers anyway.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 23, 2017, 02:05:15 pm
... so it didn't happen!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 23, 2017, 04:16:05 pm
Beer ? ?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 23, 2017, 04:18:56 pm
Sky team car already has "Tour de France 2017" painted on the door (just above the sill). Tut. Still got 94 km to go.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 23, 2017, 04:22:13 pm
Sky team car already has "Tour de France 2017" painted on the door (just above the sill). Tut. Still got 94 km to go.
"Best Team Winners ... "
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 23, 2017, 04:42:23 pm
Hmm....
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Wowbagger on July 23, 2017, 05:15:55 pm
Why does everyone assume that the podium positions have already been decided when there's still a stage to go?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 23, 2017, 05:24:30 pm
Convention.  I suppose Landa could still try to get his 750 msec deficit back but it would be terribly bad form.

Never much liked watching the bit down from l'Etoile to Concorde. Pedalling in the gutter with the pedals half an inch off the kerb is hair-raising.

A few spots of rain...  Jaja remarks that if it rains the commissaires could freeze all the times at the next time they go over the line.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 23, 2017, 05:26:52 pm
Goodbye Little Thomas V, I'll miss you.

Oh rain in Paris, all I will say about that ... ouch!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Wowbagger on July 23, 2017, 05:30:22 pm
Convention....

So if there's a crash and Froome is taken out and can't continue, he will still be declared the winner?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Exit Stage Left on July 23, 2017, 05:31:42 pm
Why does everyone assume that the podium positions have already been decided when there's still a stage to go?

The 'Tour de France' has two meanings. It's a bike race, but it's also a reference to the circuit of France made by journeymen artisans on their way to becoming masters. Completing the 'Tour de France' confirms your status. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compagnons_du_Tour_de_France

The final stage is more of a graduation ceremony, and the racing is restricted to the circuits of the Champs Elysee, so as not to risk accidents which would prevent a completion.

This year's Tour has been trying to emphasise the artisan products of regional natural parks. To read the Tour as simply a bike race is facile, but we live in facile times.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 23, 2017, 05:32:49 pm
That depends on the call from the organisers. They might call time on the first crossing of the line becasue of the rain. Because we will have crashes today.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 23, 2017, 05:42:51 pm
Goodbye Little Thomas V, I'll miss you.

There was a suggestion that he might be accorded the honour of crossing the line first when the peloton entered the Champs, but it didn't happen.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: StuAff on July 23, 2017, 05:43:43 pm
Convention....

So if there's a crash and Froome is taken out and can't continue, he will still be declared the winner?
Nope. He has to finish the final stage within the time limit. Same for all the jerseys- even though there are no climbs at all on the stage, Barguil has to finish to win KOM, and Matthews must finish to win green. The last time the final stage was actually competitive (1989 time trial) it cost Laurent Fignon the win, so I doubt the organisers ever wish to repeat that...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 23, 2017, 05:54:09 pm
Non-competitive now for the GC, but the green jersey could change hands on the Champs.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 23, 2017, 06:03:14 pm
What are the odds on De Gendt going for a long one just to rub ASO's nose in it over the Prix de Combativité :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 23, 2017, 06:05:21 pm
Trivium re the statue of Joan of Arc: the woman who posed for it died in 1937, burnt alive when her apartment caught fire.

What are the odds on De Gendt going for a long one just to rub ASO's nose in it over the Prix de Combativité :demon:

WB's already been given the global Combativity doodah.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Clare on July 23, 2017, 06:25:04 pm
Somebody please tell *** and SDM that the plural is Tours de France not Tour de Frances.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: woollypigs on July 23, 2017, 06:28:06 pm
Well done chaps see you in Spain soon. ITV live please hint hint nudge nudge.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 23, 2017, 06:37:29 pm
What are the odds on De Gendt going for a long one just to rub ASO's nose in it over the Prix de Combativité :demon:

WB's already been given the global Combativity doodah.

Quite. And everyone apart from Bethany (7) thinks it's a total chiz. Well, Super D Millar does anyway.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 23, 2017, 07:31:10 pm
Stage 21: Montgeron->Paris

G Imlach:O hai! 4 teh last tiem I, TV’s G Imlach, sa a big “O hai” 2 all intelligent life forms everywhere & 2 everyone else out there, teh SEEKRIT is 2 bang teh rocks together, guys!
NC Boardman:O hai! I, TV’s Nice C Boardman, an knackrd! Marseille 2 Paris – whose idea dat?
C Prudhomme:LOL @ G Imlach & NC Boardman! We ov teh Ay Ess Oh haz teh private jet!
G Imlach & NC Boardman:U utter GIT, C Prudhomme!!1!
[After teh Photoshop…]
S Yates:O hai! I am S Yates and I am made ov teh Win! C Froome haz teh yellow biek, M Matthews haz teh green biek and W Barguil haz teh spotty biek! WHY I NOT HAZ TEH WHITE BIEK? IZ TEH NOT FAIR!!1!
Omnes:Oh grow up, u little squit! Hang on, didn’t we do this 1 last year? Also, u haz got a white biek!
S Yates:Oh yes, so I haz!
N Boulting:O hai! PT Voeckler, tiem-trial, all emotional. Awwwwwwww!
SD Millar:O hai! Kno teh feeling, Vuelta, M Rendall!
EC Boardman:U gr8 ponce, SD Millar! Mind u, meeting M Rendall enuff 2 maek ne1 cry LOL!
SD Millar:(Sulks)
[Quite a lot later...]
Omnes:Oi! C Prudhomme! Get on with it!
C Prudhomme:OK! Off u fck!
N Boulting:…and we iz joined by R Gilmore…
Bethany (7):Fck! Off!
J Bakelite:PHWOOAAAR! Ullo, darlin’!
Bethany (7):U can fck off 2! & when u fckd off u can fck off sum MOAR! Wnkr!
R Gilmore:…and having ridden up teh Izoard… 4 sure...
M Pingu1:Ooooh, hark @ u!
[Shortly...]
T $ky:Yay! Teh BEER!!1! Oh, wait! Iz shampain!
R Gilmore:Shampain face roffle!
Omnes:
T $ky:Last year we had teh BEER! Y we not got teh BEER this year chiz?
SD Brailsford:G Thomas drunked it all in teh 1st week! LOL! Akshuly, iz Lie! Here iz ur BEER!
S Yates:Teh T $ky haz teh BEER! Y I not haz teh BEER? NOT FAIR!!1!
Omnes:Ur not old enuff 2 haz teh BEER, S Yates! Does ur Mum kno ur here roffle? Hang on, we doned this 1 last year 2!
S Yates:WAAAAAAAAH!!1!
[Later…]
L Minkies:O hai! I am L Minkies and while I am not made ov as much Win as S Yates I am still pretty Winny! Oh yes! And wot kind ov coverage do I get from P@nd3m1c fukn Pr0duckt10nzTM®? Fck all, iz wot! Just being on teh receiving end ov a recycled joak stolen from a Pink Panzer movie! Well, iz not gude enuff!
Omnes:FFS, don’t sa ur gonna sulk liek teh Yates bruvs?
ML Maire:Er, soz, L Minkies! Praps u do something controversial, liek punch a Yates bruv or get ur photo took wif Bethany’s Mum!
L Minkies:Fck! Off!
Y Offredo:Right! I iz off! But onli 2 meet teh famlee!
PT Voeckler:‘sallabahtfamleeinnit! Was that right?
Omnes:It’s DV Dyke LOL!
PT Voeckler:Shuttez-lá, vous slagz!
M Landa:O hai! C me wind up teh R Bardet!
C Gautier:Bof! C me propose 2 mi grilf!
Omnes:Awwwwwwww!
[Eventually…]
N Boulting:Rain! Break! Futile?
SD Millar:TD Gendt! Combativité! Chiz!
Bethany (7):Poo! W Barguil roolz!
EC Boardman:Rain! LOL!
N Boulting:Neutered pelican? Nogweegies!
TP Fairy:O hai! Notable by mi absence 4 most ov teh race, I, TP Fairy, teh embodiment ov pure eebil, will sa a big “O haihahaha” 2 W Barguil! Stab, stabbity, stabEEEE!
W Barguil:FFS! Ur supposed 2 visit R Bardet!
Bethany (7):Get tae fck, TP Fairy!
[Later…]
T Martin:O hai! I, T Martin, sa yarbles 2 ur futile break!
SD Millar:Coming 2 teh boil!
S Cummings:I’m not!
N Boulting:Sprinters! Control! AS-TA-NA!
SD Millar:N Bouhanni? Useless!
N Boulting:Cobblestones!
Omnes:Shut! Up!
[Enfin…]
N Boulting:Sprint, sprint, sprintEEEE! Yoicks!
D Groenewegen:Yay! Pwnage!
A Greipel:FFS!
Omnes:MUNKEH!!1!
C Froome:Speechless amazing rewarding privilege amazing honour and amazing! 4 sure!
Bethany (7):Podium! w00t! W Barguil! (Dances around room squeaking) Oops! Soz, mum!
[FX: Repeated fortissimo slappage…]
Bethany’s Mum:U spilt mi wite litening, u little bitch! I’ll fukn kill u! 2 DETH!
[Grams: God Saev Bethany(7) Missis Kwin]
C Froome:Ta Mrs C Froome T $ky teh pelican honour privilege ect ect! Et maintenant la même chose en Aramaique Français (Aside…) U horrible shitgibbons!
G Thomas:O hai! Haz it finished, then?
[Just about midnight…]
N Boulting:Nice C?
NC Boardman:Uh?
N Boulting:Wot actually iz teh difference between a village and an hamlet?
[Roll end credits…]

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mrs Pingu on July 23, 2017, 08:12:48 pm
Ooh I haz a famous  ;D

Another top 3 weeks of entertainment from P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 23, 2017, 08:17:49 pm
Excellent coverage from ITV4 and full credit to NB and DM for their commentary. While we all appreciate the picture feed is not theirs, still very good that ITV4 chose to provide as much coverage as they did.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Socks on July 23, 2017, 08:26:59 pm
The live coverage has been a bonus this year, showing stuff that isn't usually picked up in highlights.  For example, how difficult it can be to establish a breakaway. 

And considering the reception from some French fans, Froome's speech at the end seemed quite gracious.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 23, 2017, 09:18:06 pm
The extended coverage was definitely a Good Thing, even on the flat stages.  Worth it just to hear *** and Super D desperately failing to find any enthusiasm for anything except their lunch :demon:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Ivo on July 23, 2017, 09:20:16 pm
In 1991 the Green jersey nearly crashed out of the tour in the last kilometer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Nt4x3nuzfQ
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Beardy on July 23, 2017, 09:23:08 pm
Another top 3 weeks of entertainment from P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®  :thumbsup:
This.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 23, 2017, 09:29:55 pm
Did my eyes deceive me or did the Funny Bit in tonight's highlights really show Super D & *** swanning around France in a Maserati?

Iz jealous...
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Pingu on July 23, 2017, 09:45:04 pm
Another top 3 weeks of entertainment from P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®  :thumbsup:
This.

Yesh, me too also  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 23, 2017, 09:46:10 pm
Did my eyes deceive me or did the Funny Bit in tonight's highlights really show Super D & *** swanning around France in a Maserati?

Iz jealous...

Nope. I remarked same to Mrs Torslanda, of the horned helmet and heavy metal breastplate. Given it was RHD and SD Millar wuz at the wheel can we assume he was driving his own car?

Beats the crap out of a hired Focus . . .
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 23, 2017, 09:55:33 pm
Did my eyes deceive me or did the Funny Bit in tonight's highlights really show Super D & *** swanning around France in a Maserati?

Iz jealous...

Nope. I remarked same to Mrs Torslanda, of the horned helmet and heavy metal breastplate. Given it was RHD and SD Millar wuz at the wheel can we assume he was driving his own car?

Beats the crap out of a hired Focus . . .

Quoth TV's Super D Millar on his blog:

Quote
Arrived into Dusseldorf on Friday afternoon and waiting there for us was our car for the three weeks, a white Maserati Quattroporte, the same car that had taken us around the Tour the year before.  It's a subtle set of wheels, helps Ned and I move around un-noticed, because fitting in is very important to us.  DOH

https://chpt3.com/blogs/journal/tour-de-france-stage-1
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 23, 2017, 10:49:54 pm
I did wonder whether it was Super D's own motor but AFAIK he lives in Spaign, where A Contador is usually anxious to get back to1, so he'd be more likely to have a left-hooker.

1: Lie.  Well, this year anyway.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 23, 2017, 10:59:40 pm
https://chpt3.com/blogs/journal/tour-de-france-stage-1

What a great link, well worth a visit and read.

And if you thought Rapha clothing was expensive!

https://chpt3.com/collections/all (https://chpt3.com/collections/all)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 24, 2017, 12:20:56 am
O hai! So now teh Tour iz doned so Yay! 4 C Froome M Matthews W Barguil & S Yates, but iz now tiem 4 teh coveted P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® TdF 2017 Awards 4 Stuffs That *** & Super D Mostly Daren’t Mention Because Libel Laws, sponsored by Teh Watchfinder-General’s mate P0rl1, from Leatherhead:

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: cameronp on July 24, 2017, 02:52:03 am
Woohoo, it's all over now so I no longer have any excuse for staying up until 2am (Oz time). Thanks again Mr L and the crew at Pandemic Productions for teh witty punz and other such entertainment.

Is "Teh Waitrose Shopping Voucher 4 Services 2 Teh Kumquat Trade" a joke I'm not getting, or does Syrah just really like kumquats?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Salvatore on July 24, 2017, 08:46:28 am
My Man Ov Teh Match is the gendarme on stage 18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7xhkMzlF8k&feature=youtu.be
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 24, 2017, 09:36:45 am
Another top 3 weeks of entertainment from P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM®  :thumbsup:
This.

Yesh, me too also  :thumbsup:

Yup, me too. Admirable devotion & stamina, M. le Maire. Have a red number.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 24, 2017, 09:55:50 am
And considering the reception from some French fans, Froome's speech at the end seemed quite gracious.

Nothing against the guy, in fact he seems a decent chap, but his speech was the least he could do after his team clamped a lid on from day 1. The booing was unfortunate but his team is perceived as being much the same kind of machine as US Postal, although there are no drug allegations I've heard of. To put it in some perspective, Anquetil was frequently booed for beating Poulidor.

Anyway, having now heard his acceptance speech I'm rather sorry for the guy.  He obviously does not like speechifying, and doing it in a language he's not fluent in (by several miles) must be torture. Still, he'd have won more friends by starting in French, however bad.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 24, 2017, 10:58:42 am
Anyway, having now heard his acceptance speech I'm rather sorry for the guy.  He obviously does not like speechifying, and doing it in a language he's not fluent in (by several miles) must be torture. Still, he'd have won more friends by starting in French, however bad.

Considerably better speech than many have given in the past and in 2 languages.  For some folk he will never do anything right and that is a cross he has to carry and I think he carries it well.  He appears to be an outstanding cyclist compared to his peers who has dedicated his preparation to an end goal.  Many folk will never like Team Sky because of their dominance or budget, but also appear to support teams in F1 with the same attitude and budget or in other sports such as football.  That is the nature of the sport and no matter how much money and expertise you have, your whole race plan can be ruined by the actions of another rider, as was the case with Geraint Thomas.

Based on the performance of other younger riders this year, there are exciting times ahead!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 24, 2017, 11:12:16 am
He obviously does not like speechifying, and doing it in a language he's not fluent in (by several miles) must be torture.

It was a pretty good effort for someone who obviously doesn't speak French that brilliantly - I certainly couldn't have done any better. And it did sound like all his own work too - though you'd think Nicolas Portal would have given him a hand with a few choice phrases, at least.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 24, 2017, 11:19:04 am
Anyway, having now heard his acceptance speech I'm rather sorry for the guy.  He obviously does not like speechifying, and doing it in a language he's not fluent in (by several miles) must be torture. Still, he'd have won more friends by starting in French, however bad.

Considerably better speech than many have given in the past and in 2 languages.  For some folk he will never do anything right and that is a cross he has to carry and I think he carries it well.  He appears to be an outstanding cyclist compared to his peers who has dedicated his preparation to an end goal.  Many folk will never like Team Sky because of their dominance or budget, but also appear to support teams in F1 with the same attitude and budget or in other sports such as football.  That is the nature of the sport and no matter how much money and expertise you have, your whole race plan can be ruined by the actions of another rider, as was the case with Geraint Thomas.

Based on the performance of other younger riders this year, there are exciting times ahead!

Yes to both paragraphs. I'd even say that, in providing a large target to beat, Sky have revitalized the Tour. It was a bit in the doldrums in the post-Armstrong years.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 24, 2017, 11:24:27 am
He obviously does not like speechifying, and doing it in a language he's not fluent in (by several miles) must be torture.

It was a pretty good effort for someone who obviously doesn't speak French that brilliantly - I certainly couldn't have done any better. And it did sound like all his own work too - though you'd think Nicolas Portal would have given him a hand with a few choice phrases, at least.

It used to be that you had a hard time on the Tour if you couldn't speak French, but I read the other day that English is becoming the lingua franca, so total immersion doesn't happen any more. I suffer from that myself: the local default language here is Alsacien, but since we speak English at home and everyone can speak French too I've never learnt it in the 28 years we've lived here. If folk lapse into it on a ride I've had it.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 24, 2017, 11:47:30 am
I've just started following him on Twitter. Not a lot of stuff but some of it is fun, like this:

https://twitter.com/LeTour/status/889178739568979971 (https://twitter.com/LeTour/status/889178739568979971)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 24, 2017, 12:14:32 pm
For some folk he will never do anything right and that is a cross he has to carry and I think he carries it well.

That about sums it up.

On the other hand, you do sometimes feel like shaking him by the shoulders and plying him with alcohol and getting him to loosen up a bit and stop being so polite. I think his combination of ruthlessness on the battlefield and superficial politeness elsewhere is off-putting to many observers, not least the French (who anyway prefer underdogs and have a long history of booing Tour champions). Stop nodding from the beginning to the end of every interview question. Scowl at the witless questions posed by journalists. Mock idiots. You’ve got a platform, so use it for something you believe in (other than rhinos). Say what you think once in a blue moon. That would go a long way in the popularity stakes.

But he is what he is and that is itself attractive to me. He’s not naturally charming in front of the camera and he doesn’t care. He could hire a PR guru, get a hairstyle, and transform himself, like Wiggins did with XIX Entertainment and now the M&C Saatchi Merlin agency. But he’d rather tweet cat pictures and try to win another Tour.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Peter on July 24, 2017, 12:31:43 pm
Superficial politeness?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Legs on July 24, 2017, 12:39:38 pm
...his team is perceived as being much the same kind of machine as US Postal, although there are no drug allegations I've heard of...
Where have you been?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 24, 2017, 12:40:33 pm
He’s not naturally charming in front of the camera and he doesn’t care.

I would phrase that slightly differently - more like being a media personality is not important to him, rather than he doesn't care what people think of him.

His manner seems to me to reflect his upbringing - born to a moderately wealthy family of expat Brits in Africa, both his brothers were sent to public school in England but the money ran out before it was his turn. He's a posh boy manqué. Instead he fell in with David Kinjah and learned a) some humility, and b) how to ride a bike.

Just think - he could have turned out like David Cameron or Jeremy Clarkson instead.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 24, 2017, 12:42:53 pm
...his team is perceived as being much the same kind of machine as US Postal, although there are no drug allegations I've heard of...
Where have you been?

Living happily in retirement.  I don't follow racing beyond the Tour.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 24, 2017, 12:44:03 pm
Just think - he could have turned out like David Cameron or Jeremy Clarkson instead.

The one with a finger up a pig's backside and the other just a pig's backside.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 24, 2017, 12:51:22 pm
Just think - he could have turned out like David Cameron or Jeremy Clarkson instead.

The one with a finger up a pig's backside and the other just a pig's backside.

Or maybe J Corbyn as I believe he attended a fee paying school.

Anyway, I agree with the basis of Citoyen's post in that his environment in the early years have shaped him to be what he is now and I don't see much wrong with that.  Looking at his smile with his son shows the more human side to him that is hidden away from the cameras and many comments have been made in other areas about how he always has time for the fans.  He is no Hinault, Wiggo or Cav in terms of temperament or character and some will bemoan his perceived lack of character, as will others bemoan his cycling style of nodding and arms all over the place, but what cannot be denied is his ability on a bike.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 24, 2017, 01:17:01 pm
I enjoyed Cav's short appearance with Jaja & T Otherbloke during the last stage. He's matured well.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 24, 2017, 02:17:31 pm
What are the odds on De Gendt going for a long one just to rub ASO's nose in it over the Prix de Combativité :demon:

WB's already been given the global Combativity doodah.

Quite. And everyone apart from Bethany (7) thinks it's a total chiz. Well, Super D Millar does anyway.
Well, duh.  De gent is Belgian, until they chop their king's head off and become an official departement of la republique then he is not eligible for the combativity award.  See section 12(b) "if the combativity award can be awarded to a Frenchman..."
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 24, 2017, 02:19:57 pm

Or maybe J Corbyn as I believe he attended a fee paying school.

No, Jesus Corbyn went to a grammar, non-fee paying.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 24, 2017, 02:20:58 pm
Is "Teh Waitrose Shopping Voucher 4 Services 2 Teh Kumquat Trade" a joke I'm not getting, or does Syrah just really like kumquats?

Somewhere way up there ^^^^ Torslanda requested "MOAR kumquats". Doubtless he has his reasons ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: rafletcher on July 24, 2017, 02:21:40 pm
O hai! So now teh Tour iz doned so Yay! 4 C Froome M Matthews W Barguil & S Yates, but iz now tiem 4 teh coveted P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® TdF 2017 Awards 4 Stuffs That *** & Super D Mostly Daren’t Mention Because Libel Laws, sponsored by Teh Watchfinder-General’s mate P0rl1, from Leatherhead:

(click to show/hide)

Have to respectfully disagree with this one

Teh McLaren-Honda Chocolate Teapot Ov Utter Uselessness (Team):   FdJ.

I think that has to be Cofidis
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 24, 2017, 02:32:10 pm
It used to be that you had a hard time on the Tour if you couldn't speak French, but I read the other day that English is becoming the lingua franca, so total immersion doesn't happen any more.

Le Roi C Prudhomme I said as much when interviewed (in French) by TV's D Friebe the other day.  He also noted that the riders today are, in general, much more sophisticated creatures than their primitive forebears, many of whom had difficulty stringing more than three words together in any language.

Curious lack of Leftpondians in the pelican this year though; only three USAnians and no Canuckistanis at all.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 24, 2017, 02:35:53 pm
O hai! So now teh Tour iz doned so Yay! 4 C Froome M Matthews W Barguil & S Yates, but iz now tiem 4 teh coveted P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® TdF 2017 Awards 4 Stuffs That *** & Super D Mostly Daren’t Mention Because Libel Laws, sponsored by Teh Watchfinder-General’s mate P0rl1, from Leatherhead:

(click to show/hide)

Have to respectfully disagree with this one

Teh McLaren-Honda Chocolate Teapot Ov Utter Uselessness (Team):   FdJ.

I think that has to be Cofidis

Cofidis had a somewhat anonymous Tour, but unlike FdJ, they didn't throw nearly half their equipe away in a futile effort to get a sick rider through a stage he shouldn't have started.  ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 24, 2017, 02:37:39 pm
Have to respectfully disagree with this one

Teh McLaren-Honda Chocolate Teapot Ov Utter Uselessness (Team):   FdJ.

I think that has to be Cofidis

Bizarrely, even Cofidis weren't as bad as Movistar in this Tour. Neither team actually won anything but Cofidis had twice as many top ten placings as Movistar. BMC were major under-achievers, and Bahrain-Merida were pretty anonymous too.

But I think FDJ deserve the uselessness award simply by virtue of allowing half of their team to miss the time cut on stage 9. (ETA: x-posted with spesh)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 24, 2017, 02:53:22 pm
FDJ certainly deserve the Extreme Tw@tery Award but they did get a stage win.  Cofidis... oh well.

Sunweb got the best ROI, I think: 13 mil for 4 stage wins, two big jumpers and a wee square red ornament.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Salvatore on July 24, 2017, 02:59:05 pm
Cofidis last had a Tour de France stage win in 2008.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Nuncio on July 24, 2017, 03:49:09 pm
You've got to give them credit.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 24, 2017, 04:18:32 pm
Sadly just too late to scoop Teh Super D Millar Crystal Decanter 4 Teh Best Barnet1, PPTM ect bring u teh Horror!

(click to show/hide)

1: 2017 winner: Super D Millar
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TheLurker on July 24, 2017, 06:23:51 pm
You've got to give them credit.
Hands Nuncio his coat and indicates the direction of the door.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 24, 2017, 07:07:08 pm
Curious lack of Leftpondians in the pelican this year though; only three USAnians and no Canuckistanis at all.

4 Kiwis though, which is a record.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mcshroom on July 24, 2017, 07:08:57 pm
Cofidis last had a Tour de France stage win in 2008.
To be fair to them they are only a Pro Continental team now, so their budgets and pulling power will be quite a bit below the World tour teams they are competing with.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 24, 2017, 07:13:20 pm

Or maybe J Corbyn as I believe he attended a fee paying school.

No, Jesus Corbyn went to a grammar, non-fee paying.

Except that Corbyn was educated at Castle House Preparatory School, an independent school near Newport, Shropshire, before attending Adams' Grammar School as a day student. I assume the Preparatory School was fee paying and took place before he entered the selective education system.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Salvatore on July 24, 2017, 07:18:41 pm
Cofidis last had a Tour de France stage win in 2008.
To be fair to them they are only a Pro Continental team now, so their budgets and pulling power will be quite a bit below the World tour teams they are competing with.

I think I read that a large chunk of their wage budget is taken up with Nacer Bouhanni's wages, and they know they'll usually get a Tour de France wildcard, so it's a bit of a gamble on him being any good in July.

Quote from Thierry Vittu, the President of Cofidis Competition and HR Director of the Cofidis Group  when Bohanni renewed his 1.5 million contract in March

Quote
“We rely on his potential and his desire to win to further strengthen his record and that of the Cofidis team. We’re especially counting on a stage victory at the Tour de France."

Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 24, 2017, 07:21:19 pm
Irrespective of where J Corbyn, J Clarkson, gammon-faced pig-botherer D Cameron or C Froome actually went to school, I don't suppose any of them actually had any say in the matter.  No-one asked me before I was packed off to serve a ten-stretch at st custards :'(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Wowbagger on July 24, 2017, 07:22:57 pm

Or maybe J Corbyn as I believe he attended a fee paying school.

No, Jesus Corbyn went to a grammar, non-fee paying.

Except that Corbyn was educated at Castle House Preparatory School, an independent school near Newport, Shropshire, before attending Adams' Grammar School as a day student. I assume the Preparatory School was fee paying and took place before he entered the selective education system.

Hey, Veloman! I was enjoying your posts about J. Corbyn on POBI until you went quiet after the election. It's a bit of an innovation to discuss him here, isn't it, even though he is a cyclist?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Basil on July 24, 2017, 08:45:01 pm
Somebody want to hold Veloman's pint?   ;D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Nuncio on July 24, 2017, 09:15:20 pm

I think I read that a large chunk of their wage budget is taken up with Nacer Bouhanni's wages, and they know they'll usually get a Tour de France wildcard, so it's a bit of a gamble on him being any good in July.


Not just 'being any good' but also 'being good' and not punching fellow hotel guests.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 24, 2017, 11:19:22 pm
Irrespective of where J Corbyn, J Clarkson, gammon-faced pig-botherer D Cameron or C Froome actually went to school, I don't suppose any of them actually had any say in the matter.  No-one asked me before I was packed off to serve a ten-stretch at st custards :'(
... and probably no say in their country of birth/upbringing,  either.

I'd happily  punch two of the above in the schnozz - and I'm no fan of Froome - but that's nowt to do with wot school they wuz dragged to.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 25, 2017, 08:53:21 am
Bereft.  :'(
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Samuel D on July 25, 2017, 09:34:26 am
Bring on the classics.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fd3 on July 25, 2017, 11:04:21 am
Don't forget the best grand tour is coming up in August.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 25, 2017, 11:09:57 am
Yes it is. Must look into getting a cable feed or finding it streamed on-line somewhere. While the Inlaw Paw was alive we couldn't watch French TV ("jabbering") and neglected our antennae etc. Doesn't seem worth it for a few weeks/year, though.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: cameronp on July 25, 2017, 12:22:49 pm
Not quite a grand tour, but I'll be dot-watching the TCR from this Friday.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 25, 2017, 06:17:21 pm
Good news: According to The Comic C Froome has been confirmed to ride the Vuelta.

Bad news: P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® are unable to cover it, partly because ITV4 are only showing highlights, but mostly because I'm going to be in Abroad, where the FOREIGNS come from, for the second half.  And not in Spaign-o either.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 25, 2017, 06:59:44 pm
S'alright. As far as the Grand Tours go, La Veulta is a bit of a fish and chips chicken in a basquet race anyway. :demon:



I blame the English translation of Asterix in Spain for that joak.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TheLurker on July 25, 2017, 08:12:49 pm
Bad news: P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® are unable to cover it...
*sulks*
That's two years in a _row_. S'not good enough.
*Goes off in a right stop.*
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 25, 2017, 08:19:54 pm
Tell the organisators to re-schedule it, then.  Bloody idiots ought to know I'm always away in early September  :smug:
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Chris S on July 25, 2017, 09:20:19 pm
Bereft.  :'(

There's 1500 dots to watch between London and Edinburgh (and back) next week.

Or you could watch our Facebook feed from Semaine Federale in Mortange au Perche :). There will be Beer, Chips, line dancing and Tents. Oh, and galvanised steel showers.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Wowbagger on July 25, 2017, 09:23:47 pm
Somebody want to hold Veloman's pint?   ;D

 :D
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 25, 2017, 09:24:44 pm
....... Semaine Federale in Mortange au Perche :). There will be Beer, Chips, line dancing and Tents. Oh, and galvanised steel showers.

Oh, I bet that will hurt!  No nice water to shower under!  (Tee hee hee!) (Jealous really and you will both have a fab time I'm sure)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 25, 2017, 09:25:35 pm
Somebody want to hold Veloman's pint?   ;D

 :D

Veloman is tea total!
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Wowbagger on July 25, 2017, 09:28:35 pm
Somebody want to hold Veloman's pint?   ;D

 :D

Veloman is tea total!

You mean you don't have a pint mug?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Veloman on July 25, 2017, 09:39:25 pm
Somebody want to hold Veloman's pint?   ;D

 :D

Veloman is tea total!

You mean you don't have a pint mug?

Pint mug?

My dear chap, we have glasses or china for drinking from.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Vince on July 25, 2017, 09:45:27 pm
Bereft.  :'(

There's 1500 dots to watch between London and Edinburgh (and back) next week.


Now there's a thought. Can someone put Mr Larrington on the back of ESL's moto for live  P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® coverage.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Torslanda on July 26, 2017, 01:22:12 am
Would love to see/read P@nd3m1c Pr0duckt10nzTM® reports on Battle Mountain in a similar stylee.

With the BRITONS' tea . . . And, perhaps, the odd nectarine or guava thrown in for good measure.  ;)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 26, 2017, 08:33:48 am
Bereft.  :'(

There's 1500 dots to watch between London and Edinburgh (and back) next week.

Right enough.

Quote
Or you could watch our Facebook feed from Semaine Federale in Mortagne au Perche :). There will be Beer, Chips, line dancing and Tents. Oh, and galvanised steel showers.

With an opening speech by M. le Maire?  I might toddle over for that.  <rant>Not for Lamouller's dame de paille, though, or any of the other rats on the Comité Directeur.  In 2016 our local CoDep organized Toutes à Strasbourg, a concentration for women from all over. Something like 6000 turned up, many of them riding significant distances to get here.  The amount of work involved was vast.  It went off well, but my main cycling chum, El Presidente, who had pushed the thing through and done most of the work, had a fall when he was piloting a bunch of participants out of Brussels and spent the whole time in hospital.  In return, the Fédé sent someone down to shake political hands in Strasbourg, the covering article in the Fédé's mag totally ignored El Prez and the CoDep, but Lamouller sent an official letter of congratulation to the prez of Randonneurs de Strasbourg, whose club did nothing to help and who personally, in his professional role on the city council, worked against the project.  The federal handshaker received the congrats of the Comité.

Oh, "totally ignored" isn't quite true. A ride across into Germany was planned with a section up through their cycle paths, but access was refused and plans had to be changed.  The article did say that the organizers had failed to obtain permission.

The Fédé can stuff it.  I'm still a member, but just for the insurance and (hopefully) the odd diagonale.

</rant>
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mzjo on July 26, 2017, 06:17:48 pm
Bereft.  :'(

There's 1500 dots to watch between London and Edinburgh (and back) next week.

Right enough.

Quote
Or you could watch our Facebook feed from Semaine Federale in Mortagne au Perche :). There will be Beer, Chips, line dancing and Tents. Oh, and galvanised steel showers.

With an opening speech by M. le Maire?  I might toddle over for that.  <rant>Not for Lamouller's dame de paille, though, or any of the other rats on the Comité Directeur.  In 2016 our local CoDep organized Toutes à Strasbourg, a concentration for women from all over. Something like 6000 turned up, many of them riding significant distances to get here.  The amount of work involved was vast.  It went off well, but my main cycling chum, El Presidente, who had pushed the thing through and done most of the work, had a fall when he was piloting a bunch of participants out of Brussels and spent the whole time in hospital.  In return, the Fédé sent someone down to shake political hands in Strasbourg, the covering article in the Fédé's mag totally ignored El Prez and the CoDep, but Lamouller sent an official letter of congratulation to the prez of Randonneurs de Strasbourg, whose club did nothing to help and who personally, in his professional role on the city council, worked against the project.  The federal handshaker received the congrats of the Comité.

Oh, "totally ignored" isn't quite true. A ride across into Germany was planned with a section up through their cycle paths, but access was refused and plans had to be changed.  The article did say that the organizers had failed to obtain permission.

The Fédé can stuff it.  I'm still a member, but just for the insurance and (hopefully) the odd diagonale.

</rant>

That sounds about par for the Fédé these days. But don't ignore it please - get on your high horse and make noise. Sooner or later the current Fédé direction will be dying out and we will need new blood or the whole thing will die with them (although of course I still support the ex-clubmate who is Trésorier Fédéral, even if I don't entirely agree with him  :-\ )
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on July 27, 2017, 01:18:11 pm
If you liked THAT photo - you can have it..... for £55

https://www.bandofclimbers.com/products/tour-de-france-2017-that-crash-print
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 27, 2017, 02:08:57 pm
Bereft.  :'(

There's 1500 dots to watch between London and Edinburgh (and back) next week.

Right enough.

Quote
Or you could watch our Facebook feed from Semaine Federale in Mortagne au Perche :). There will be Beer, Chips, line dancing and Tents. Oh, and galvanised steel showers.

With an opening speech by M. le Maire?  I might toddle over for that.  <rant>Not for Lamouller's dame de paille, though, or any of the other rats on the Comité Directeur.  In 2016 our local CoDep organized Toutes à Strasbourg, a concentration for women from all over. Something like 6000 turned up, many of them riding significant distances to get here.  The amount of work involved was vast.  It went off well, but my main cycling chum, El Presidente, who had pushed the thing through and done most of the work, had a fall when he was piloting a bunch of participants out of Brussels and spent the whole time in hospital.  In return, the Fédé sent someone down to shake political hands in Strasbourg, the covering article in the Fédé's mag totally ignored El Prez and the CoDep, but Lamouller sent an official letter of congratulation to the prez of Randonneurs de Strasbourg, whose club did nothing to help and who personally, in his professional role on the city council, worked against the project.  The federal handshaker received the congrats of the Comité.

Oh, "totally ignored" isn't quite true. A ride across into Germany was planned with a section up through their cycle paths, but access was refused and plans had to be changed.  The article did say that the organizers had failed to obtain permission.

The Fédé can stuff it.  I'm still a member, but just for the insurance and (hopefully) the odd diagonale.

</rant>

That sounds about par for the Fédé these days. But don't ignore it please - get on your high horse and make noise. Sooner or later the current Fédé direction will be dying out and we will need new blood or the whole thing will die with them (although of course I still support the ex-clubmate who is Trésorier Fédéral, even if I don't entirely agree with him  :-\ )

Oh, the noise was made, especially since the AG was in Colmar last year. We were going to get up a fronde to take Lamouller out of the presidency, but he must have heard rumblings - not necessarily ours - as he took himself out.  They also gave some kind of gong to El Prez.

As to new blood, I already did my 9 years on the CoDep and I've had it up to there - bletherskites, timeservers and little tin gods.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: spesh on July 27, 2017, 02:31:17 pm
If you liked THAT photo - you can have it..... for £55

https://www.bandofclimbers.com/products/tour-de-france-2017-that-crash-print

Someone elsewhere on the webs noted that it's the cycling equivalent of Géricault's Raft of the Medusa (https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/19657316_1415564191859488_7958292238605943845_n.jpg?oh=608b573b2a4ddfad7121c9faef50591e&oe=5A06B9AF).
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: mattc on July 27, 2017, 03:03:31 pm
Ah yes - I knew it reminded me of something.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: T42 on July 27, 2017, 03:18:50 pm
;D

Anyone for a leg of FdJ?
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 28, 2017, 09:07:15 am
Just read that D Martin b0rked a couple of vertebrae in his R Porte-inspired aerobatics :o  That redefines the word "nails".
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Hot Flatus on July 28, 2017, 11:00:14 am
Just think - he could have turned out like David Cameron or Jeremy Clarkson instead.

The one with a finger up a pig's backside and the other just a pig's backside.

Or maybe J Corbyn as I believe he attended a fee paying school.


Anyway, I agree with the basis of Citoyen's post in that his environment in the early years have shaped him to be what he is now and I don't see much wrong with that.  Looking at his smile with his son shows the more human side to him that is hidden away from the cameras and many comments have been made in other areas about how he always has time for the fans.  He is no Hinault, Wiggo or Cav in terms of temperament or character and some will bemoan his perceived lack of character, as will others bemoan his cycling style of nodding and arms all over the place, but what cannot be denied is his ability on a bike.

Yes. He went to a preparatory school in Shropshire, prior to a state grammar. Ive just looked up the alumni of his fee-paying prep for notable former pupils. He is the only one.

Its hardly fucking Eton is it  ::-)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: asterix on July 28, 2017, 11:16:35 am
..  No-one asked me before I was packed off to serve a ten-stretch at st custards :'(

You clearly aren't in Brendan Bracken's league then.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: citoyen on July 28, 2017, 06:41:02 pm
Perhaps Mr L proves that being sent to St Custards and its ilk doesn't *necessarily* turn you into a pig-fucking and/or caravan-terrorising arsehole, but in any case, my point was that Froome *could* have turned out like that, not that he definitely *would*.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on August 01, 2017, 11:49:04 pm
If you liked THAT photo - you can have it..... for £55

https://www.bandofclimbers.com/products/tour-de-france-2017-that-crash-print

I have seen several mentions of Froome in THAT photo. I don't know if I am being fick or something but, I can see G (In yellow) and I can see Bardet BUT WTF is Froome? I don't recognise him as the Sky rider to the left of the image.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: TigaSefi on August 02, 2017, 06:13:55 am
It is him! :)
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: Greenbank on August 02, 2017, 10:02:25 am
It's difficult to recognise him when he's not staring at his stem.
Title: Re: TdeF 2017
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on August 02, 2017, 07:08:59 pm
So, the good folk of yacf have confirmed. I are fick ;D