Yet Another Cycling Forum

Off Topic => The Pub => Topic started by: mecwales on 04 January, 2009, 11:31:49 am

Title: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: mecwales on 04 January, 2009, 11:31:49 am
I don't tend to dream that regularly, and when I do, generally forget the details, but the past couple of nights I've had really quite odd dreams.

Last night, Richard E Grant and Stephen Fry went coasteering, in Ireland.  Somehow, E Grant broke his ribs, but Fry was quite insistent that he carried on without calling for help - this kept happening over and over again.

???

So what other weird/totally inexplicable dreams have people had?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: gonzo on 04 January, 2009, 11:44:38 am
Dreaming about hunting vampires* in a small wood on the farm. When I woke up, I mentioned it to my parents. Strangely, my mum had just come back from walking the dog in that wood and reported seeing a hooded figure walking behind trees then vanishing. Ooooo!

*and man eating bunnies like MP and the holy grail, but we'll ignore that bit eh?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LE on 04 January, 2009, 12:51:03 pm
Last week I woke flustered having had a dream that I was running through various large houses wearing fancy dress while trying to get to a bank in Aston. This was the only bank I was able to withdraw £1000 to lend to my colleague and I needed to get there before it closed.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LE on 04 January, 2009, 12:55:58 pm
Ooh I also had a dream that I was supervising the renovation of the upper floor of a large house. I found lots of books in the atic and sat down to read them.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: border-rider on 04 January, 2009, 12:57:30 pm
Last week I dreamt I'd entered LEL but been really rude to a controller on the first day and had my brevet card taken off me. Mel (or at least a shadowy Official Figure) sad I could carry on riding if I wanted, but I'd no longer be an official participant.

Harsh but fair, I feel.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Rhys W on 04 January, 2009, 01:37:42 pm
I've dreamt about people here that I've never met. Nothing sexual though. I also regularly dream about being able to ride wheelies on my road bike - effortlessly, and for miles at a time.

 Sometimes I dream that I'm actually in a fantastic sci-fi film, and it's exhilarating. I've had the X-Files and that strange L Ron Hubbard one that John Travolta did. Never seen either - they wouldn't live up to the dream.

 The scariest one I had was in the late 70s/early 80s (the height of Cold War paranoia) where I dreamt I was being chased through the corridors of the Politburo by hordes of menacing Russians. They were doing that slow Communist Party handclap thing. Turned out to be the ticking of my bedside clock.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: JL on 05 January, 2009, 04:29:20 pm
I've had about 3 now where I ended up getting killed, don't know if that means anything bad mind!!

Twice it was the same, about 3 years ago - I ended up in the 5th layer of Hell and to get there had to keep jumping through portholes in the floor to progress to the next layers. That one was quite nice actually and it didn't "hurt" at all.

About a week ago tho, 2 of my friends killed me because I had reported them to the police for killing someone else. That wasn't pleasant at all, and I woke up suddenly. I guess it was a nightmare.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: annie on 06 January, 2009, 07:43:39 am
I had awful dreams last night, the first woke me just before midnight.  I went to visit a friend and for some reason decided to lie down on his sofa, I was in my normal clothes.  Someone else was in the room but neither of them spoke to me.  I had a chocolate in my hand and was asleep but could still hear.  When I got up I was in my jim jams.  I went to the hallway and could hear voices upstairs, I didn't recognise one of them.  I ran to my car but it wasn't there, I kept running and eventually found it although it was parked on some ramp on only three wheels.

I then ended up in a house with my father, we were walking along a landing and the ceiling kept getting lower and lower.  We turned back and my father clutched his chest.  I was then asked to do something really awful (so awful I can't bring myself to type it here) I kept crying and saying "please don't make me do it, you are my father") then I woke up crying.

My next dream was later in the night and involved me and a MTB.  A guy was trying to sell me some hubs but I refused them as they weren't red.  There was some kind of race going on and we had to walk the track first.  I can remember all of the buildings in great detail.

I am tired now.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LE on 06 January, 2009, 09:04:39 am
I had awful dreams last night, the first woke me just before midnight.  I went to visit a friend and for some reason decided to lie down on his sofa, I was in my normal clothes.  Someone else was in the room but neither of them spoke to me.  I had a chocolate in my hand and was asleep but could still hear.  When I got up I was in my jim jams.  I went to the hallway and could hear voices upstairs, I didn't recognise one of them.  I ran to my car but it wasn't there, I kept running and eventually found it although it was parked on some ramp on only three wheels.

I then ended up in a house with my father, we were walking along a landing and the ceiling kept getting lower and lower.  We turned back and my father clutched his chest.  I was then asked to do something really awful (so awful I can't bring myself to type it here) I kept crying and saying "please don't make me do it, you are my father") then I woke up crying.

My next dream was later in the night and involved me and a MTB.  A guy was trying to sell me some hubs but I refused them as they weren't red.  There was some kind of race going on and we had to walk the track first.  I can remember all of the buildings in great detail.

I am tired now.

That sounds awful.  No wonder you are tired!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Attitudeless Badger on 06 January, 2009, 09:10:23 am
last night I dreamt that I was fishing skate and other flat fish out of Humphrey Littleton's bath with Jeremy Hardy, which had mystical tardis-like properties.....
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Hot Flatus on 06 January, 2009, 09:31:23 am
Last night I cut the heads off about 30 goats whilst in some shitty middle eastern market place
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: annie on 06 January, 2009, 09:32:28 am
Last night I cut the heads off about 30 goats whilst in some shitty middle eastern market place

I don't remember giving you permission to get off the naughty step :demon:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: andrewc on 06 January, 2009, 09:45:45 am
Sorry to hear you had a bad night Annie,  I went to bed an hour early and still didn't sleep well.   Had an email from my sister, she slipped on ice yesterday & is bruised, just as well she still has my jar of Natures Kiss muscle rub!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: numbnuts on 06 January, 2009, 10:39:07 am
I had a nightmare last night, I bought a silver Range Rover  :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 06 January, 2009, 03:06:32 pm
I had a dream that I was running a cafe on a bus, and the stopping & starting spilled the tea.  Then we reached the railway station (on the tracks, of course) and nobody could really get off cause the platform was covered in flowers, and no one was allowed to trample them.

Well, with a lot of effort, everybody got off the other side.  It was OK, there were no trains (or buses) coming.

I saw one of the doctors handing our free newspapers for a church.  I went to greet him, but there were high voltage lines between us, so I thought best keep a distance.  I did think it odd that the lift he was standing outside went all the way up to that roof.

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: andygates on 11 February, 2011, 09:32:23 pm
Bump and plug.

I've been remembering more dreams since I got a dream-synced alarm clock (there's an app for it).

This morning, I was singing soprano counterpoint to Tanita Tikaram's gravelly contralto.  The only way I could be sure it was a dream was that nobody was throwing bottles.  :)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Euan Uzami on 11 February, 2011, 09:39:30 pm
I had a weird dream that I'd committed a minor fraud, and I was jailed for it - but I'd committed a worse fraud, but no-one knew about that and I kept trying to admit it but no-one would take any notice.

I kept thinking the next day that if you were released with a tag on your ankle, how annoying would be if you tried to cycle and you couldn't get it to stop catching on the cranks. Are you allowed to request to have it on your left wrist instead I wonder?  :-\ :-\
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: 1gear on 11 February, 2011, 10:11:55 pm
I dont dream often but when i do i get weird ones.
We had someone at work that was an alcoholic and ended up leaving after causing problems and other things. Anyway in the dream i was in work and people kept being shot at. So, we were all in the shop(for some reason) and we went down to near the area people were being shot at. Where we saw the alcoholic sat in an office on a chair just looking around. We ended up in the office with him standing in front. He looked at me, gun in hand and said "YOU! YOU DROPPED THE TRIFFLE!!"
Which i replied i was sorry
Then i woke up.

No idea about the triffle, i have never dropped one to my knowledge.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Clandy on 11 February, 2011, 10:33:00 pm
Back when I worked for Henry Ford, I had a dream, but to give the full picture I have to describe 'the line'. I worked on Line One, where all the wiring looms were fitted to the empty car bodies. The bodies would arrive at the top of the line emerging from a lift which brought them down to us from the paint shop. They would then move along the line at a set speed past each work station where various parts were fitted.
If you were good at your job you could work faster than the line moved and work 'up the line'. This meant getting ahead, which meant you could work fast then rest for five minutes or so, depending on how far 'up the line' you had worked (this was dictated by speed and what was previously fitted to the car, you can't fit an engine loom if the fuse box hasn't been fitted, get it?), then you could go back to your workstation sit down and wait for your next job to arrive there.
Sometimes, if there had been a problem in the paint-shop no cars would come down for a while, or in line-worker's parlance, a 'gap' would come along the line. So people would work faster to get 'up the line' to reach the gap, and get more time to have a cup of tea or a smoke.

So, the dream:

I dreamt I was working fitting the engine looms. A gap was emerging from the lift at the top of the line, and I was working fast to reach the gap, but I couldn't and instead was moving backwards to the transfer to Line Two at the bottom of the line. By the time I reached the last car before the gap the next was out of the lift, so I went up to do that before sitting down for a cuppa. As I got there Tony, the first bloke on the line, was opening the bonnet to fit the bonnet prop. When he did there was a dead Ford worker in the empty engine bay. We called the foremen, Norrie and Jim, over who said, "Don't worry about this lads, we'll take care of it, carry on with your jobs." They then lifted the body out and stuck it bum first into a tall thin box so the head and feet were sticking out the top.
A little later the tea lady arrived and Norrie and Jim took the body, laid it on her tea trolley, put a Ford flag over it, and wheeled it off somewhere singing "Everything we do is driven by you…".

That's when I woke up drenched in sweat, and took four weeks off.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 12 February, 2011, 06:33:44 pm
Since my cruciate op I've had a recurring dream of being able to run and jump phenomenal distances.

Like end to end of Deansgate in Manchester, from Castlefield to Cathedral in a hop, step 'n' jump.

Given that my knee ligament was broken and the quad muscles all wasted the irony is that my left leg has all the spring of a bunch of overcooked pasta . . .

If anyone can interpret/explain I'd be greatful.

luv'n'stuff

J
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Jaded on 12 February, 2011, 06:48:32 pm
Recently been having uncomfortable dreams about getting and settling into a new job. Exactly 10 years after taking a new job which I eventually had to leave being crippled with PTSD.

Isn't the mind an odd thing.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Hot Flatus on 12 February, 2011, 07:08:29 pm
Isn't the mind an odd thing.

Maybe it's telling you it's about time you got a job  ;)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 12 February, 2011, 09:59:41 pm
 ;D pills are great for giving weird dreams. 
I've also found if I eat carbs late at night, then I get extremely vivid dreams   :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Jaded on 13 February, 2011, 12:34:18 am
Isn't the mind an odd thing.

Maybe it's telling you it's about time you got a job  ;)

Not sure I could cope with earning less and having to put up with managers that have no clue.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Euan Uzami on 01 March, 2011, 10:13:28 pm
Last night i dreamt that I was doing an audax, it was a lovely sunny day and I was blasting along as was everybody else, but the questions for the info controls kept getting harder and harder. The first few were a bit like crossword clues, but as it went on, they became more and more cryptic. It started getting ridiculous. The ending scene was of me sitting in an oak-panelled library for over an hour studying an ancient manuscript researching the history of the village trying to figure out the answer to one of them.
Disturbing  ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Feline on 01 March, 2011, 10:21:23 pm
I had a very weird dream last week (more of a nightmare actually) while I was staying overnight in a hotel before an Audax. I dreamt that my iphone alarm epically failed and I woke up at 8.30am (the Audax started at 7.30am a few miles away). Realising that I had driven to Kent and stayed in a hotel for nothing I tried to work out whether I could possibly still finish if I started nearly 2 hours late. I then tried phoning the organiser (no clue how I knew the number) to see if he was still there at the start. I went to the start anyway and made a start sans brevet card, asking random people along the way to sign a scrap of paper to say they had seen me there at that time. I didn't see another living sole for the entire ride and finished 2 hours out of time, by which time everyone had gone home!

The dream was so real that I was really surprised when my alarm actually went off and it was 6.30am!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Chris S on 01 March, 2011, 10:32:17 pm
I have had several dreams revolving around running Very Late on an audax. That feeling of panic when you are half way, at 4pm when others are close to finishing, is an unpleasant #Fail kind of feeling.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: YahudaMoon on 01 March, 2011, 10:37:08 pm
I was dreaming of beautiful bicycles last night. Goes to show what a geek I is when it comes to bicycles. Although previous to bedtime I spent some time on the web looking at nice bikes. I think that may have something to do with it.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: rower40 on 01 March, 2011, 10:37:55 pm
I was out on the river.  Except it wasn't a river, it was a dried-up bed of sand.  Our rowing training consisted of running up and down.  Then, for some reason, all the other rowers climbed out of the river bed; I couldn't pull myself up the bank.  I looked upstream, and saw a waves of water approaching, to refill the river.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: sigod on 01 March, 2011, 11:08:40 pm
I hardly ever remember my dreams but I'm sure it won't cause any major issues mentally....

...you'll have to excuse me now, I have to go and kill the Pope with a herring.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: bobb on 15 March, 2011, 11:05:28 am
I had an incredibly weird dream last night.

I was on the run from the cops because I was driving around with a dead body in the boot. Lots of odd things happened, but perhaps the weirdest bit was that I was PREGNANT!!!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 15 March, 2011, 12:44:37 pm
Whose was it?  ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: bobb on 15 March, 2011, 12:47:34 pm
The baby or the dead body?  ;)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 15 March, 2011, 12:49:11 pm
Yes.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Feline on 15 March, 2011, 08:21:31 pm
I had a really weird dream last night where I was riding a 200k audax with my parents ( ???) and I had got to the end with my dad in 10 hours and we got a phonecall from my mother to say she was at the half way point  ;D

The funny thing was that by that stage we had both drunk lots in the pub at the final control so no one could go and pick her up. To deal with her angry rantings we all turned our phones off and carried on drinking  ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Salvatore on 15 March, 2011, 08:24:44 pm
My first PBP nightmare of the season: my bike got nicked at Mortagne, and no matter how much I ran round like a headless chicken looking for it, it was not to be found.

Since then I've had a second, which involved an insurmountable mechanical.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Redlight on 15 March, 2011, 10:14:30 pm

The funny thing was that by that stage we had both drunk lots in the pub at the final control so no one could go and pick her up. To deal with her angry rantings we all turned our phones off and carried on drinking  ;D


When is your next audax?  I want to come too :-)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 15 March, 2011, 10:17:35 pm
My first PBP nightmare of the season: my bike got nicked at Mortagne, and no matter how much I ran round like a headless chicken looking for it, it was not to be found.

Since then I've had a second, which involved an insurmountable mechanical.

Could you not have asked M. le Maire if you could borrow his?

I had a very strange dream the other night. It involved a lot of weird stuff but probably the strangest of the lot was the pair of very grumpy-looking robins that had made a nest in the stationery cupboard behind my dad's chair in my parents' old house.

That house was demolished 10 years ago.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Salvatore on 16 March, 2011, 09:53:34 am
My first PBP nightmare of the season: my bike got nicked at Mortagne, and no matter how much I ran round like a headless chicken looking for it, it was not to be found.

Since then I've had a second, which involved an insurmountable mechanical.

Could you not have asked M. le Maire if you could borrow his?


The honourable gentleman did not, and has never played any role in any dream of mine. Nor has any of his contraptions.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 March, 2011, 10:32:47 am
I'm glad to hear it.  Anyone who incorporates me into a dream without permission will be hearing from my legal team.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Adam on 16 March, 2011, 10:51:47 am
I probably remember one dream a year, if that.

However, last night I dreamt that I'd invented a very cunning snowball throwing device.  Basically a box with a touch sensitive screen on it, with a camera on top and a large scoop on the side, full of about 10 snowballs. 

The screen displayed the image from the camera, you pressed the screen to indicate where the target is, the electronics in the box then worked out the distance to the target, took account of the weight of snow in the scoop, and then fired the scoop.  A more expensive model was available which took account of wind direction and speed.

All quite simple.  I ought to patent it.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LindaG on 16 March, 2011, 11:20:50 am
I have a recurring nightmare about a house.  It's always the same house, which is my house, but with extra rooms on it, and the rooms are always the same.  I hate that dream.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 16 March, 2011, 04:52:14 pm
I had a dream about iPads last night.  It wasn't as interesting as it sounds.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Woofage on 16 March, 2011, 05:39:13 pm
This thread reminds me that I once dreamed about riding the BCM600 on fixed, accompanied by Mal Volio. This was odd since I have never ridden the BCM, I've never ridden a fixer and I've never met MV ???.

BTW (not surprisingly), in my dream Wales looked like the Suffolk countryside.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 23 March, 2011, 01:49:51 pm
Last night's included angstily attempting to package my bike up to ship it to Australia, and then riding the Kennet&Avon towpath on a single-speed mountain bike, eventually ending at an Arc Attack gig where Hummers was playing.

I'm not sure, but I think that means I've been on YACF too much...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: mike on 23 March, 2011, 01:52:53 pm
Last nights was getting back to the car and finding it stuffed full with scrumpled up 10 pound notes.  We assumed it'd been put there by a Bad Man and had to go on the run to hide from him - all very exciting but I woke up before I found out what happened.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Tigerrr on 23 March, 2011, 02:28:00 pm
I could not possibly expose the vile filth of my dreams in a public forum. I am amazed at the vanilla flavoured drearyness of yacf dreamers and suspect these are censored dreams.
The only dream I can see here worth the name is the one about sawing the heads of goats with a woodsaw but then one needs to carry that on into the inevitable goatsex and simultaneous eating of flesh in the company of that nice Marge from accounts scenario, culminating in the moment of wonder as one turns into a gushing tap and wakes up in a wet patch.   
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 March, 2011, 01:57:31 pm
I had a weird dream this morning before waking up. I was in a taxi with Julian and Charlotte, and we were talking about what would happen if I shot Julian's finger with a pistol while we were in the cab. We all agreed that at that range it would blow Julian's whole hand off - it was her right hand and she was obligingly holding it up for me to shoot at, palm out - and then I would be dismembered by Charlotte, painfully and slowly. The taxi was a big blue van of the sort that's common here in Bristol, though it looked as if we were driving through the countryside, and the seating arrangement - I was in the front next to the driver, Julian was in the back and Charlotte was behind her on the tip-down seats in the boot - and the fact that none of us was wearing seat belts, suggest it could possibly have been one of my old Indian works cabs.

Just in case anyone was wondering, I've never even met Julian or Charlotte, never so much as held a pistol, and it's months since I was even in a taxi. Oh, and Charlotte had blond hair for some reason, but it was definitely her.

Very strange.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Chris S on 28 March, 2011, 04:58:12 pm
Cudzo... You need some help...  ;)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Andrij on 28 March, 2011, 07:04:54 pm
Oh, and Charlotte had blond hair for some reason, but it was definitely her.

Now where did I last see that photo...
 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: robbo6 on 28 March, 2011, 07:59:21 pm
A couple of weeks ago I went to bed with a stabbing pain in my foot, during the night I detached the affected foot-it was a twist off bayonet type fitting-and with a penknife removed the corn that was causing the trouble. When I awoke I looked round the bed and was glad to see that there was no blood on the sheets, as I have been known to act out my dreams*, finally the really weird part is that I woke up properly, having just dreamt about waking up.

*On a previous occasion I dreamt that I was climbing a tree but I fell out when a branch broke, I woke up with blood pouring from my head because I had pulled on the headboard and broken it onto my head, 7 stitches.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 March, 2011, 08:36:48 pm
Cudzo... You need some help...  ;)
I will do if Julian comes home with a bleeding finger following some stapler-related accident...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 28 March, 2011, 08:40:43 pm
Some years ago Mrs. Wow didn't find my dream at all funny. I dreamt that I was wrestling with someone and was awoken by a scream. I had recalled during the wrestling that I was gripping very tightly to something with my right hand. Something soft. The scream of pain was Mrs. Wow's.  :-[
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 08 May, 2011, 10:58:12 am
Last night I got a part time job with the fire brigade. My uniform was blue t-shirt, cream corduroy trousers (practical!), cream sweatshirt, and I had to argue with them to get a protective coat and trousers with reflectives. They were a bit unhelpful and unwelcoming. Then, even more bizarrely, nonn and I were living together and he announced he wanted two children.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: longers on 26 July, 2011, 06:17:43 pm
I've just dreamt that yacf were going to play Manchester United in a pre season friendly. It was a very short dream and I woke up while in the bookies about to put money on Charlotte to score first. Didn't see the odds but knowing the way I bet, they'll have been fairly high. Sorry.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 05 August, 2011, 08:19:01 am
Bobb and I got married last night.  :o It was a nice wedding though.  :D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: jeremaiah on 05 August, 2011, 09:40:34 am
I've been having some really bizarre dreams lately, don't know if it's because of stress or what, but I wake up so often during the night (and they're not even nightmares, just really puzzling things). I don't normally dream and don't remember, but it seems I've been dreaming about all people from work in all kinds of weird scenarios (nothing sexual, yet nothing anywhere close to being possible). Last night I dreamt the coffee machine in the office exploded and the coffee on the walls attracted all kinds of flies and bees and wasps, so nobody could go into the kitchen safely, and my boss decided to take macro pictures of the bugs for his private collection, while another colleague was collecting the actual bugs and putting them in little boxes of amber?!?!?!?!?!   ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 05 August, 2011, 10:57:20 am
A few nights ago, I passed cars containing Messrs Hammond & May, of the Top Gear clowning troupe.  Hammond was confused, as he thought he was riding a bicycle, but was really in a B*W estate, poor lad.

Strange dream.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Biggsy on 05 August, 2011, 11:09:02 am
I was looking after someone's three pet dormice.  I lost one. :'(  Oh dear, the guilt!  Round and round I was searching for it and worrying about what to say.  It seemed to go on for hours.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Canardly on 06 August, 2011, 08:17:14 pm
They eat more Camembert down south than Chedder hence dreams are less colourful. (mmm goat heads.... must be Feta)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Biggsy on 08 August, 2011, 09:07:30 am
Someone was trying to get me and I fell out of bed.  The last bit wasn't a dream.  Hit my head on a chair as well.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 08 August, 2011, 09:43:27 am
On Friday night, while camping in Tiermat's garden, I dreamed quite clearly about Charlotte's performing cows.  They were very talented.  One could even stand on its head.  It tried to do it with no hooves, but the horns made it difficult to balance.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: vorsprung on 08 August, 2011, 11:56:02 am
I was cycling to bampton in a flood, the water was way over the bottom bracket.  Then I had to stop and talk to Colonel Gadaffi
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 08 August, 2011, 04:06:13 pm
On Friday night, while camping in Tiermat's garden, I dreamed quite clearly about Charlotte's performing cows.  They were very talented.  One could even stand on its head.  It tried to do it with no hooves, but the horns made it difficult to balance.
I want to know what grows in Tiermat's garden...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 09 August, 2011, 04:25:10 pm
A very strange dream last night where I was very stressed at having woken up (in the dream) and found that the tropical fish in my fish tank had (a) managed to get themselves stuck inside the internal filter and (b) transmogrified into 4 inch high Tyrannosaurus Rexs  and  I was panicking about them in case they drowned while stuck in the filter.

I was so relieved in the dream that I managed to rescue the mini Rexs, and then I woke up.   ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 10 August, 2011, 05:43:12 pm
I had a dream last night that seemed to be mostly about filling in forms.

Traumatic enough that I had to use a pen (a skill that I never developed to any degree of satisfaction and has thoroughly atrophied from lack of use) to answer complicated open-ended questions in boxes that were far too small for any reasonable answer.  That one of the questions was about how I'd go about de-Nortoning an OSX machine without an admin password was just unfair.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Frere on 10 August, 2011, 05:46:54 pm
but Kim, surely the short and simple answer would be why would OSX need Norton in the first place?

Frere
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 10 August, 2011, 05:50:59 pm
The same reason anything needs Norton - to make money for Symantec and/or convince the luser that they need a faster computer.

I believe that came up in a previous question.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 27 October, 2011, 07:04:29 pm
Last night I dreamed about riding a unicycle.  It wasn't as difficult as it looked, and before anyone asks I remained fully trousered for the duration.

No, this doesn't mean I'm about to go out and commit n+0.5
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Juan Martín on 27 October, 2011, 07:24:34 pm
Ah, I have been waiting for an appropriate place to post this. A couple of weeks ago I awoke with a start at around 0300, thinking: Hendon! Just that.

As far as I know I have no connection with Hendon. Whatever could it mean?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: RJ on 27 October, 2011, 07:58:08 pm
I don't often remember my dreams and certainly not in narrative detail - but did wake up recently having just watched a hedgehog disappear into a hole in the ground, where it exploded.  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 27 October, 2011, 08:12:11 pm
Landmines.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: why1040 on 27 October, 2011, 08:18:18 pm
I've had some really clear dreams recently and keep waking up going "good grief, that was weird", but they always disappear shortly after I wake up!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Biggsy on 27 October, 2011, 08:20:44 pm
As much sleep-walking as dreaming - a few months ago when the early mornings were light:

Woke up at ~5am, strange music was playing, I went to look out the window for hot air baloons playing this music.  (I had recalled someone posting on YACF about this happening elsewhere).  Couldn't see any flying objects, so assumed they were right above my house.  The music was getting louder, soon so loud that I was angry that this was most anti-social!

After a couple of minutes I realised the sound was infact coming from my hi-fi speakers.  I had gone to sleep after leaving 6 Music on.  ::-)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: RJ on 27 October, 2011, 08:21:21 pm
I don't often remember my dreams and certainly not in narrative detail - but did wake up recently having just watched a hedgehog disappear into a hole in the ground, where it exploded.  ???
Landmines.

I hope not.  The location bore a dream-like resemblance to my parents' garden  :-\
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Juan Martín on 28 October, 2011, 03:12:48 pm
On the subject of recurring dreams, I have one where I am either trying to escape from a sinking ship or perhaps taking steps to prevent it from sinking. Not that unusual for a former marine engineer perhaps and they are not the terrifying, trapped in the dark, unable to get out variety. In fact the ship is generally sinking slowly and the process is usually composed and fairly relaxed.

What is peculiar is that I am always assisted by a group of people wholly unsuited to the task in hand. The junior foil team from my fencing club are perfectly nice people but to be honest most of them are pretty weedy, especially the girls, and they struggle to close a 15” gate valve. Even when I shout in order to help them (ffs use a wheel key Rebecca!). Mind you the executive secretariat from work weren’t much better and they’re adults. 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Marco Stefano on 28 October, 2011, 04:21:03 pm
As far as I know I have no connection with Hendon. Whatever could it mean?

I went there once. Is that enough?

What is peculiar is that I am always assisted by a group of people wholly unsuited to the task in hand.

That just sounds like being at work to me.  ::-)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 October, 2011, 02:09:45 pm
Last night Mr Gates was in my dreams (Andy, not Bill). I don't think he was my boyfriend and I was vaguely aware that Bobb was missing, but we were dear friends. He accompanied me to all sorts of places, including taking my friend's little girl to Portobello beach, a task for which we had to buy two windbreaks because the weather was awful.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Euan Uzami on 29 October, 2011, 08:04:03 pm
I was given a pet called  a Kercene. It was a bit like the pre-gremlin 'mogwai' creature out of gremlins, but not as good looking, and it was flat, like a manta ray. After a bit it started drying up and looking agrier and angrier, but it wasn't able to make a noise so I didn't know what was up with it. I found out that you were supposed to feed it kerosene, and I hadn't been doing, and I got worried that it might die. When I eventually managed to source some kerosene, it was in the form of an oily naan bread, which it devoured.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 17 December, 2011, 11:18:17 pm
Last night I was at work, in a cheap looking sort of lecture theatre, possibly in a big shed. Various corporate suits were there, plus Jack Branning from Eastenders (I blame bobb for this cos he's the one who watches 'Enders). It was something about a money-making proposal to do with hens and they had big wooden crates of live hens. Every so often they'd get one out and pass it around and some people would shriek and not want to be near them, but I would sit them on my knee and stroke them. Then That Woman turned up to talk about capitalism. Some of the corporate people were quite nasty and were killing the hens for no reason, which was upsetting.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 December, 2011, 11:27:07 pm
I had a strange dream last night as well. I had to move to Hertfordshire, to a place called Timschurch - I think this was an amalgam of Whitchurch and Timsbury, both of which are round here. I was very upset at having to move, because Hertfordshire was very flat in my dream - like Norfolk - and I knew I was going to miss the hilliness of this area. When I woke up I realised the Chilterns probably run through Hertfordshire, which is better, but not as good as the realisation that I don't have to move at all. Though if someone really did offer me a great job there (which is what had happened in dreamworld), I suppose I might move!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: why1040 on 18 December, 2011, 07:39:39 pm
I didn't sleep very much last night for a variety of reasons.  But when I did, I had a really weird realistic dream...I sometimes know I'm dreaming, but this was so real I almost started jogging when I woke up!

I was in some sort of charity running race thingy.  We had to run from one village to the next along this field with trees lining it.  It was very easy to find our way since it was almost like a broad grassy alley.  There were marshalls occasionally and some people were running or walking in the opposite direction and I kept telling them that they should join us because it was such a good cause.  I eventually got to the other village and there was a big area where we could have a break before starting on our way back.  I forgot to give my number to the marshall that was counting us in and out, so had to wait extra long as we had to rest at this spot for a certain amount of time.  But it meant I got more rest (no cake though, silly dream!).  Just as I was starting back, I woke up.

I don't do running.  Ankles (and more recently knees) don't agree with running at all!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: cwbuk on 20 December, 2011, 01:56:52 pm
I keep on dreaming that I'm pregnant which is really worrying because i'm married to my cat
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 20 December, 2011, 02:00:28 pm
I had a dream the other night that featured fast recumbents and computers that actually worked properly.  Then I woke up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Clare on 20 December, 2011, 02:02:02 pm
I keep on dreaming that I'm pregnant which is really worrying because i'm married to my cat

Would the outcome of such a match be a cuman or a hat?

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 20 December, 2011, 02:32:29 pm
I've had a couple of weird dreams recently.

In one, I had parked my bike somewhere in That London - near the Festival Hall I think - and when I returned someone had nicked the wheels, brakes and handlebars and replaced the wheels with small ones, possibly off a shopping trolley or an A-bike.

In another, a load of people had assembled at my parents' house. We were going to go for lunch at the White Hart, Margaretting Tye (where the MEMWNRers met a few weeks ago). Mrs. Wow had her new bike and everyone was admiring it. Woolly & Peli were there, but I think everyone else was from my family, including my parents. I remember it being a sunny day and at the last minute Mrs. Wow being reluctant to ride or some reason. I think I woke up long before we got to the pub. This dream was particularly strange because both my parents have been dead for years and the house was knocked down ten years ago.

I think I must stop carving a big lump off the jarlsberg just before I go to bed.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: tiermat on 20 December, 2011, 02:35:28 pm
I had the weirdest drream in the early hours of Saturday morning.

I dreamt I had woken and heard a truck outside, on tick over.

When I went out the driver said he had a kitchen delivery for me.

Somehow I had ordered a full kitchen on ebay, and it was delivered on pallets, which the driver took off the truck and just left in the the road, for me to move onto the drive.....

It disturbed me so much I had to get out of bed when I woke to check there wasn't a truck there, or a load of pallets with kitchen units on in the drive.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Biggsy on 20 December, 2011, 02:42:48 pm
I had another dream interact with reality yesterday morning.

I was dreaming I was punching someone in the face (something I have never done in real life).  In fact I had punched my bedside table lamp and had knocked it off.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 20 December, 2011, 02:58:19 pm
Note to self: Never share a bed with Biggsy ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Biggsy on 20 December, 2011, 03:03:07 pm
;D  Or John Prescott.  I bet he has similar dreams.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 December, 2011, 03:56:12 pm
I had another dream interact with reality yesterday morning.

I was dreaming I was punching someone in the face (something I have never done in real life).  In fact I had punched my bedside table lamp and had knocked it off.

I once dreamed that my alarm clock had gone off.  I got up and had breakfast before noticing it was 2 am...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Clare on 20 December, 2011, 04:27:22 pm
;D  Or John Prescott.  I bet he has similar dreams.

Maybe if you shared a bed with John Prescott you could punch him in the face.

 :D

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 20 December, 2011, 04:28:38 pm
Personally, I'm a bit surprised Pauline hasn't.

Mind you, looking at him...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 13 January, 2012, 01:14:54 pm
Last night I dreamed that I was marshalling a Skyride.  In Sittingbourne.   ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 13 January, 2012, 02:39:57 pm
Last night I dreamed that my shed had blown down in high winds, and a ned had stolen my bikes   >:( 
And in the dream I was thinking "Oh no, I need to get N+1 since I'm currently at N-2!   :o"

Strangely I had been thinking about an N+1 for the summer.......
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Efrogwr on 13 January, 2012, 03:42:38 pm
;D  Or John Prescott.  I bet he has similar dreams.

He looks battered enough for someone else to have had such dreams.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Efrogwr on 13 January, 2012, 03:45:02 pm
;D  Or John Prescott.  I bet he has similar dreams.

He looks battered enough for someone else to have had such dreams.

EDIT; I was so  taken with Biggsy's post that I didn't read on. Therefore, I didn't see Clare's and Clarion's posts.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 15 January, 2012, 10:51:45 am
Last night bobb and I got engaged (in my dream, not real life, calm down, no hats required). He knew I wanted a demantoid garnet in my ring but he'd got an emerald, but it was still a lovely ring so I didn't mind much. My family were going to stay with his so they could meet each other and my mum decided to give my hair a trim and made a complete hash of it so I looked like a total wally. Then he decided we were going to see a seashell cave (in Chelmsford?) so he was looking out bikes for all of us.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: why1040 on 15 January, 2012, 06:41:54 pm
I had a GIANT (at least 2 inches long) wasp/hornet type thing land on my face, with its stinger positioned right by my lip.  I didn't dare move in case I upset it and it stung me.  It hung around there for absolutely ages and I thought I was going to sneeze when I woke up instead.

I don't like wasps, I like 2 inch wasps less!   :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Biggsy on 15 January, 2012, 07:06:34 pm
I've just dreamt about a baby in a drawer watching the first Moon landing live on TV.  Or maybe it was something I read on YACF.  ;)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 January, 2012, 10:01:18 pm
Last night bobb and I got engaged (in my dream, not real life, calm down, no hats required). He knew I wanted a demantoid garnet in my ring but he'd got an emerald, but it was still a lovely ring so I didn't mind much. My family were going to stay with his so they could meet each other and my mum decided to give my hair a trim and made a complete hash of it so I looked like a total wally. Then he decided we were going to see a seashell cave (in Chelmsford?) so he was looking out bikes for all of us.
Why on earth would you want a demented sea bird in your ring?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 09 February, 2012, 11:23:08 am
Fell asleep this morning while waiting for the gas man, and had an alarmingly vivid dream about my bike being nicked.  Remember, kids, cable locks are shite!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 09 February, 2012, 11:28:28 am
Last night's dream was partly set in a cemetery with some very unusual sculptural headstones.  One was an archway - very artisitic, but the one behind it echoed the shape with the lintel as a wine bottle and the support the flow of wine pouring out.

Very odd, and very vivid.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 09 February, 2012, 01:12:42 pm

Why on earth would you want a demented sea bird in your ring?
Don't knock it til you've tried it.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: rogerzilla on 09 February, 2012, 01:14:48 pm
Last night's dream was partly set in a cemetery with some very unusual sculptural headstones.  One was an archway - very artisitic, but the one behind it echoed the shape with the lintel as a wine bottle and the support the flow of wine pouring out.

Very odd, and very vivid.
I think it means that you're going to die from a surfeit of claret, rather than the auto-erotic asphyxiation for which you'd always hoped.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: tonycollinet on 09 February, 2012, 09:32:42 pm
Me and a couple of guys from work (all late 40's) joined a school physics class.


Another failing to prepare for an exam dream. I should be over those by now.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 26 February, 2012, 08:22:31 pm
I have to be reaccredited for my manual handling risk assessor stuff this week - a day's training on Friday and an exam next Monday. Last night I dreamed I was in the exam, but it was cancelled because the Countess of Strathearn had died. The press were speculating that she'd killed herself because she was infertile.  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Rhys W on 26 February, 2012, 10:20:50 pm
Another failing to prepare for an exam dream. I should be over those by now.

Hey, I get those all the time! The usual scenario is me and my old university friends are all back - older but no wiser. The exams are looming and I've done nothing and it's inevitable I'm going to be a big letdown to myself and my family. Yet I can't even start revising, like I'm paralyzed.

I think it's replaced the "pulling a wheelie for miles on end, on a road bike" recurring scenario of a few years ago as most common. Haven't had any flying dreams for ages either, and they were highly enjoyable.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: perpetual dan on 27 February, 2012, 12:11:21 pm
I had a cold war running from missiles dream last night. No idea where that came from.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: TheLurker on 27 February, 2012, 12:20:05 pm
Last week.  I was racing uphill (racing!? me!?) on an Ordinary (a type of bicycle that I have no experience of) with steel wheels (ie just rims no tyres).  I was going so fast at the top I couldn't stop and there were sparks flying everywhere. What's even weirder is that I beat everyone else to the top.

MrsLurker asked if I'd been dream cycling the following morning.  It seems that the bit of brain circuitry that's supposed to inhibit motion when one is dreaming doesn't, at least not for me if I'm dreaming about cycling....
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: why1040 on 27 February, 2012, 12:23:36 pm
Yeah, if I'm having nightmares, I usually don't have my motion inhibited properly either...

Running is one thing, but I've kicked at least one person who happened to be sharing a bed with me  :o
Luckily, I appear to move somewhat in slow-motion...

Never tried cycling though, as far as I know!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Rhys W on 27 February, 2012, 01:37:16 pm
I had a cold war running from missiles dream last night. No idea where that came from.

I remember a terrifying one I had as a kid at the height of the nuclear paranoia cold war era (early 80s). I was running blindly through the corridors of the Kremlin, being chased by menacing-looking Russians doing that creepy regimented slow handclap thing they used to do.

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was my rather noisy bedside clock...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: rogerzilla on 27 February, 2012, 05:52:11 pm
I ate my work laptop.  Most of it was delicious, especially the electronics, but the keyboard was a bit too much and the mouse was positively tasteless.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Efrogwr on 27 February, 2012, 10:27:05 pm
Definitely weird. I met Rapples.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 28 February, 2012, 10:10:34 am
Last night I dreamed that I'd moved back to Aberdeenshire, with all the children. We'd moved into the house I'd always fancied, but now I had bikes there. So I went for a ride on my Dawes (through Tough and Tullynessle)and it was very sunny, but hard work, because I was carrying (in my arms) a netbook and a jack russel terrier. I was invited into a house for afternoon tea where I explained I'd lived there before, and a long and complex discussion followed about what had happened to all the people I had known, as well as debate about the policeman who'd been murdered (?wtf?).
Then I had to explain to my children that they all had to go back to primary school as they hadn't done a Scottish education. (The 19 year old, who left school 2 years ago, seemed quite happy with this). Then I found a pannier, which made carrying the dog a lot easier.
The whole time, I knew it was a dream because the green of the grass was the wrong shade of green.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: why1040 on 28 February, 2012, 02:05:49 pm
I experienced the apocalypse last night!

There was a huge earthquake first, but we (for a non-distinct definition of we) were okay in our little valley.  The house wasn't safe, so we packed up a load of stuff to take elsewhere.  There were zombies and they were a little scary, but I shot two of them.  I was obsessed with taking a big box of drinking glasses because my parents would be so proud that I'd rescued them...apparently my parents were dead, but that was okay, not upsetting.  I had great difficulties figuring out how to transport the big box of glasses on horseback, they wouldn't fit.  I did rescue a small child from underneath a porch where she was hiding though and her mum was very grateful and gave me a big slice of cake.

It all made perfect sense at the time!   ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 28 February, 2012, 03:42:30 pm
It all made perfect sense at the time!   ;D

This, for sure.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: lou boutin on 03 March, 2012, 08:32:05 am
Last night, My DH woke me up sing '40 Years On' in his sleep.  This morning he informed me that he'd had a dream in which he's at school and it's Churchill songs but he can't remember the Churchill verse. 

Does anyone know whatnhe's talking about??? I don't.  I'm assuming it's one of those school/embarrassed in front of fellow pupils thing.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 06 March, 2012, 03:30:53 pm
A subtle blend of fever and co-codamol had me vividly dreaming about Windows 95 last night.  It was failing to boot properly, and hanging on a blue screen with a mouse pointer with nothing to click on.  Fair enough, that's just standard PMSD-flashback material.  Except the hardware platform was a top-loading VCR, and I somehow diagnosed the boot problem as being corruption of the non-volatile RAM causing the DVB muxes to be enumerated in the wrong order.  I was about to attempt a factory reset by removing the AA backup batteries (which were 7dayshop NiMHs) for a few minutes and rebooting, when I woke up and saw, well, not sense exactly, but something similar.

This is what dementia's going to be like, isn't it?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 06 March, 2012, 03:36:39 pm
gave me a big slice of cake.

It all made perfect sense at the time!   ;D

All dreams that feature CAIK make sense.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Charlotte on 06 March, 2012, 04:21:33 pm
I was about to attempt a factory reset by removing the AA backup batteries (which were 7dayshop NiMHs) for a few minutes and rebooting, when I woke up and saw, well, not sense exactly, but something similar.

High capacity 2700mAh or low self-discharge Good To GoTM?

This is what dementia's going to be like, isn't it?

'Fraid so.  Probably with more wee, I should imagine.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Notsototalnewbie on 06 March, 2012, 04:30:45 pm
If dementia is going to be like co-codamol dreams then I’m going to have to get someone to shoot me. I don’t take the stuff any more as it takes me ages to get over the extremely messed-up dreams it gives me. Sometimes I don’t even really remember the dreams themselves but just wake up feeling really, really disturbed and it takes a long time to shake off.

My mum once gave me Night Nurse when I was small and had a bad cold, and I woke up the house running round screeching that a giant carrot was chasing me, but that’s tame by recent standards.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 06 March, 2012, 04:33:28 pm
High capacity 2700mAh or low self-discharge Good To GoTM?

Funny you should ask that.  It was the high capacity ones - complete with binary coded stripes in permanent marker that I use to keep track of pairs of cells - which was even more annoyingly wrong!

(I suspect the AA-backed-up-RAM thing was a reference to the wonderfully budget-engineered Amstrad PC1640 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PC-1512), which instilled a healthy distrust of all things IBM-compatible (I use the term loosely) at a formative age.)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 07 March, 2012, 12:01:59 am
If dementia is going to be like co-codamol dreams then I’m going to have to get someone to shoot me. I don’t take the stuff any more as it takes me ages to get over the extremely messed-up dreams it gives me. Sometimes I don’t even really remember the dreams themselves but just wake up feeling really, really disturbed and it takes a long time to shake off.

My mum once gave me Night Nurse when I was small and had a bad cold, and I woke up the house running round screeching that a giant carrot was chasing me, but that’s tame by recent standards.

When you dream about root vegetables you know you are from YACF - Yet Another Carrot Fantasy.

Hang on a tick: you were dreaming about root vegetables when you were a child? Suddenly I believe in predestination.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Biggsy on 16 March, 2012, 02:12:29 pm
This horrible one woke me up early this morning:

I saw a horse-drawn train go by.  It was on rails, a normal railway, but not all the horses were at the front; some were in the middle.  The train derailed, causing the horses to panic.  The horsemen punished the horses by viciously beating them - so hard that horses fell over.  I ran down to the track and went to shout at them.  Nothing came out.  My voice was so choked with anger that I couldn't utter a sound.

Today I learnt that five race horses were killed at the Cheltenham festival (or whatever they call it).  I hadn't heard or read anything about it before.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Canardly on 16 March, 2012, 08:43:40 pm
Railways are definitely Freudian (Common theme for me  ::-)) but when I start dreaming about you lot and Pies.....strewth.....
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 16 March, 2012, 10:51:42 pm
I had a dream the other morning about going to a dinner party with Hinge & Bracket (it was a theatre show for a select audience of eight who were among the guests).  Barakta was also there.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Rhys W on 17 March, 2012, 12:12:58 am
If dementia is going to be like co-codamol dreams then I’m going to have to get someone to shoot me. I don’t take the stuff any more as it takes me ages to get over the extremely messed-up dreams it gives me. Sometimes I don’t even really remember the dreams themselves but just wake up feeling really, really disturbed and it takes a long time to shake off.

I took co-codamol for three days solid recently, for back pain. I was looking forward to some vivid nightmares but I got nothing. Zilch. If anything, I experienced more insomnia - awake until past 2, wide awake at 6:30. Rubbish drugs.

I did have a nice dream last night though. I bumped into the ex-girlfriend, the one that got away. She introduced me to her new boyfriend, who was a tool of the highest order. I think she knew this and I was half way in persuading her about the error of her ways when I woke up. I hate when that happens, I just want to go straight back to sleep because it's actually better than real life.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 17 March, 2012, 12:18:29 am
I took co-codamol for three days solid recently, for back pain. I was looking forward to some vivid nightmares but I got nothing. Zilch. If anything, I experienced more insomnia - awake until past 2, wide awake at 6:30. Rubbish drugs.

I get that too, if I don't titrate the dose of codeine to the level of pain accurately enough.  A little bit helps you sleep (mostly as it wears off the next morning, unfortunately), a little more makes you mildly giggly and have strange dreams, too much and you just lie there stoned for hours with a skewed sense of time.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Feline on 19 March, 2012, 01:34:42 pm
I took co-codamol for three days solid recently, for back pain. I was looking forward to some vivid nightmares but I got nothing. Zilch. If anything, I experienced more insomnia - awake until past 2, wide awake at 6:30. Rubbish drugs.

I get that too, if I don't titrate the dose of codeine to the level of pain accurately enough.  A little bit helps you sleep (mostly as it wears off the next morning, unfortunately), a little more makes you mildly giggly and have strange dreams, too much and you just lie there stoned for hours with a skewed sense of time.

Maybe it's the ideal drug to take on a long audax then!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Karla on 19 March, 2012, 01:39:44 pm
I dreamed that I was riding my bike and kept on braking too late, and therefore crashing into walls.  This probably had a lot to do with the friend's bike I rode home yesterday to give it a service: the folding handlebars were loose and neither brake was in a good state.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 19 March, 2012, 02:15:46 pm
I had another bike theft dream last night.  Well, it was a proper nightmare, really, as it started with a ticket validity argument in a railway station, and the bike got nicked while I was being queerbashed by some of the other customers.

Still, at least it didn't get as far as the inevitable dangly bike spaces.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Biggsy on 19 March, 2012, 03:34:30 pm
Co-codamol contains the opiate codeine.  All opiates and opiods have basically the same effect on you, but it may affect you differentlly from how it affects someone else.  A lot depends on how used to it you are, and the dose.

I find Tramadol very good for cycling as it eases discomfort and makes me feel happy in general - though ironically it takes away some of the desire to cycle in the first place.  Some other people find it makes them too drowsy for physical activity.  Addiction is a real danger, mind.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Adam on 19 March, 2012, 09:11:27 pm
I had a weird dream over the weekend.  I was helping my mum clear up the house.  There was some other stuff going on, but I'd forgotten it 5 seconds after waking up.  She's been dead 15 years, so I've no idea what that was about.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 20 March, 2012, 06:12:04 pm
A couple of rather weird and vivid dreams this afternoon. 
I hadn't slept at all well last night due to worrying about a hospital appointment this morning, so a nice nap this afternoon.

The first dream involved having a urinary tract infection, and weeing so much  that the toilet overflowed.   :o

The second dream involved me being Lee Majors, the Six Million Dollar Man, and I had teamed up with a clone of the Six Million Dollar Man,
and both of us were fighting the US Army's latest in cyborg infantry, a cybernetic werewolf.  We had both decided
that although the cyborg werewolf was stronger than us, he wasn't as intelligent or adaptable in combat conditions.

All the cyborg werewolf was good at was smashing things up and throwing them at us both.

 ???

Eventually we managed to get the cyborg werewolf under control by throwing large costa coffee cups at his paws - his paws ended up getting
stuck in the costa coffee cups..... ???

Sounds a bit like the plot of a movie - The Six Million Dollar Man versus the Cyberwolf.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 20 March, 2012, 07:02:25 pm
That's interesting, because one of my colleagues was telling me that last night she dreamt her cat turned into Battlecat from He-Man and she was riding him without his body armour.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 21 March, 2012, 08:10:13 am
Last night I dreamed I was taking my manual handling reaccreditation exam, but the room we were taking it in was much more like school, and I realised I was naked behind the desk.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 21 March, 2012, 08:28:25 am
Last night I dreamed I was taking my manual handling reaccreditation exam, but the room we were taking it in was much more like school, and I realised I was naked behind the desk.

Quite a common dream I have is that I am bottomless, letting it all hang out...   
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 31 March, 2012, 07:58:55 am
A curios dream last night.

Basically Google had obtained images dating back to 500AD, so you could use street view and look at how things were in 500AD.....

And they had already obtained streetview images of the new forth road bridge, which hasn't been built yet.....
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: tonycollinet on 01 April, 2012, 02:40:02 pm
A work anxiety dream that was odd in that I was promoted.

It was one of those Darth Vader type promotions though. "Let us hope that *you* don't let me down" as the predecessors body lies twitching (metaphorically speaking) on the ground.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 05 April, 2012, 07:42:12 am
Good grief. Last night I dreamt I was forumming here and then went back to correct a post because I'd made an apostrophe error.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 05 April, 2012, 10:41:54 am
I dreamed I set off on my tourer, but I'd removed the straddle cables, so I couldn't stop.

I recalled this dream as I set off down the hill from home this morning ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Peter on 05 April, 2012, 10:45:27 am
Good grief. Last night I dreamt I was forumming here and then went back to correct a post because I'd made an apostrophe error.

Now, that IS spooky - the error is in the post above yours!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 07 April, 2012, 10:25:19 am
Good grief. Last night I dreamt I was forumming here and then went back to correct a post because I'd made an apostrophe error crime.

FTFY
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 07 April, 2012, 05:38:18 pm
Last night I had a dream about the filming of a new sequel to The Matrix

The film was set in the Mercat shopping centre, in Kirkcaldy, Fife!   :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 12 April, 2012, 08:53:28 pm
Last night I dreamt I was riding PBP (or maybe LEL, events and details were rather fluid), I think I was about 700k in.

I remember I was drafting SimonP and Feline on their tandem and tried to apologise as we pulled into a control for not taking a turn on the front but I was struggling and they were very nice about it.  :thumbsup:

Not that I've actually met them IRL mind.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Feline on 12 April, 2012, 10:59:10 pm
Last night I dreamt I was riding PBP (or maybe LEL, events and details were rather fluid), I think I was about 700k in.

I remember I was drafting SimonP and Feline on their tandem and tried to apologise as we pulled into a control for not taking a turn on the front but I was struggling and they were very nice about it.  :thumbsup:

Not that I've actually met them IRL mind.

Maybe it was a premonition  ;D Hopefully you won't be struggling on LEL though!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: essexian on 13 April, 2012, 06:50:18 am
Strange dream just before I woke up.....

I was staying in Romford for some reason and had to meet with Lynda (a work colleague) who was now a bloke....? Well I had to meet her in Streatham.... yes south of the water: I was not too impressed by that idea! Anyway, when I turned up at the station (isn't South London transport crap) s/he took me to a Italian cafe via what seemed to be several large Las Vegas hotels and shopping centre....certainly not the South London I know and generally try to avoid like the plague! Anyway, after a very expensive and crap breakfast, we headed back to the station but half way there, I remember I had left my coat behind so go back to the café. It seemed to have disappeared from the street it was on so had to ask some locals for directions. The cafe looked the same inside but was completely different on the outside.
 
Anyway, once in I asked for my coat back but some young punk decided that I had to pay "storage" and wouldn't give it back and less I paid up. Well after some strong words later (and a little bit of muscle: violence cures most things in my eyes) I got my coat back. Problems then arose once outside as once again, the landscape had changed and I could not find the street: just gardens with bits of London Wall in them. Eventually I did managed to find a piece of open land but, there were a group of heavies waiting to give me a kicking. Luckily for me, they were a North London crew (who weren't sure what they were doing south of the water) who knew me, so the kicking was enough to say they had done it, but not to cause damage. As this was South London and of course, north of the Thames is better, they went into the cafe and "had a word" with the manager so having them come south.

I suppose it means something about sex but what?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 13 April, 2012, 10:50:23 am
Last night I dreamed that I was on some sort of DIY audax with an assortment of forumites.  It was going quite well until we had to negotiate a roundabout at some junction of the M4 or other, which was full of fast cars and had a surface with an astoundingly low coefficient of friction that necessitated crossing it on our hands and knees, dragging the bikes along with bungee cords.

A little later we were passing through Bracknell, and I noticed the lights of several buildings come on as we passed.  I concluded that there must be someone with a Zigbee device nearby, looked around and spotted RevK (of AAISP fame) on his Pashley.  He invited us in to meet the orc and PGP signed our brevet cards.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 April, 2012, 12:50:58 pm
I had a really disturbing dream last night. I was in a touristy area of some unidentified town and among the sightseers was a large concrete building which was an abbatoir. I could hear cows bellowing and gun shots inside, the pavement was covered in bits of cow skin and flesh, and there were protesters who held up real cow skulls with flesh still attached, on sticks. There were also recumbents done up to represent Roman chariots for hire on the street outside.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Rhys W on 21 April, 2012, 02:31:19 pm
I sometimes get these expansive, cinematic dreams that are totally engrossing. It's hard to remember the details in the morning but I often wake up in the middle of them, savour the thrills and doze off to get back into the action. At the time it really feels like I'm in a film. I've had an X-Files one, a Dr Who one, and one based on that dire film John Travolta made as a Scientologist vanity project (which was undoubtedly better than the original film).

The inevitable happened and last night I "starred" in a zombie film. They were more like psychological zombies - no blood and gore (it's only a matter of time though). The only thing I can remember now is that I led a band of survivors on a train journey through an abandoned metropolis, although it seemingly went on for hours.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 21 April, 2012, 05:21:23 pm
The inevitable happened and last night I "starred" in a zombie film. They were more like psychological zombies - no blood and gore (it's only a matter of time though). The only thing I can remember now is that I led a band of survivors on a train journey through an abandoned metropolis, although it seemingly went on for hours.

You can get that any time by travelling through Birmingham New Street.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 05 May, 2012, 10:21:12 am
Last night I dreamed I went to Manderley again. Well, no, not really. Last night I dreamed I was getting married. I arrived at the registry office on George IV Bridge, wearing the sort of thing I would never wear to get married in - a white brocade and lace strapless sheath with fishtail hem. My bouquet was very peculiar - just four very spindly stems of different spring flowers. My friend Lauren was there waiting for me and we went in and I could see my friends Kate and Lee in the room where the service would be. I was so happy and excited to be marrying bobb but as I walked up the aisle I realised the man waiting at the altar wasn't bobb, he was just some random bloke with a square head and a nasty shirt. I stopped and said "who is he? I'm not marrying him. I should be marrying bobb" which caused some consternation and then I left.

 :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 06 May, 2012, 10:25:39 am
Last night, vampires. They could be repelled from biting by drawing a cross on each side of our necks (if you only do one side, they'll bite the other side), and one of them was Ray Reardon.  ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: delthebike on 09 June, 2012, 08:11:20 am
Did anyone else receive their Yacf magazine with revrob's A3 poster and stickers?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Feline on 09 June, 2012, 02:33:27 pm
I dreamt I had a tiny little monkey on my back biting me where I couldn't reach it to get it off. In the end I got in a lake and started swimming around until it drowned and let go  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Juan Martín on 09 June, 2012, 08:09:32 pm
The other day I dreamt that I met an old firend that I know to be dead. Not that unusual I suspect, but I knew that he was dead in the dream. I was in a quandary as to how to greet him, in the end, as we shook hands I said something like ' I'm sorry to hear about your difficulties' (being dead and all...)

That's quite strange isn't it?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 11 June, 2012, 08:17:48 am
Last night I dreamed I'd been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and didn't have long left at all.

Unfortunately my body took this as a sign that it was ok to oversleep by 30 minutes.  ::-)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: lou boutin on 11 June, 2012, 03:14:33 pm
I had a dream that I had agreed to help out the RSPCA by looking after 8 kittens.  I then decided that I didn't want to give them back so I adopted the lot of them, but I had to ask my father (who departed this earth some 15 years ago) to look after them while I was at work.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: andyoxon on 11 June, 2012, 04:18:56 pm
About a month ago, I dreamt that I suddenly became aware that one of our pet rabbits, that happened to be in the house at the time, was talking to me.  It was a polite, quiet female voice - but unfortunately I can't remember what it was saying.   :)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 11 June, 2012, 04:34:26 pm
"Hey Mr Bee, why are you buzzing around?" followed by trying to sell you a sickly milk chocolate/soft caramel combination?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Juan Martín on 14 June, 2012, 08:57:48 am
It was nice to see you all at the Test Match against India last night...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 15 June, 2012, 12:54:12 pm
Thanks to that eeevil Mrs Pingu, I dreamt of Scotland last night.

In my dream, rather than the horror she shared, I had the horrors of a) my ex husband; b) the queen's brother  (http://www.theoccidentalobserver.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Spruell.jpg)from Snow White & The Huntsman c) the dairy herd were all scorpions (but cow-sized).

Thanks Mrs P !

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 15 June, 2012, 02:18:09 pm
How do you milk a scorpion?


I had a dream that ended (I don't remember most of it) in a café with a bunch of cyclists, where the proprietor had taken all the pots and pans out of the store cupboard to catch our drips.  She had then decided to take the opportunity to give the cupboard a spring clean, rather than produce bacon sandwiches and the like.

I woke up before it got to the irate Simon Legg, but I'm sure that's what was coming next.

It was raining.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LEE on 15 June, 2012, 02:32:22 pm
I dreamt I had a tiny little monkey on my back biting me where I couldn't reach it to get it off. In the end I got in a lake and started swimming around until it drowned and let go  ???

Is Simon riding on the back of the Tandem nowadays?  (Just trying to interpret the dream)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Feline on 15 June, 2012, 04:52:45 pm
I dreamt I had a tiny little monkey on my back biting me where I couldn't reach it to get it off. In the end I got in a lake and started swimming around until it drowned and let go  ???

Is Simon riding on the back of the Tandem nowadays?  (Just trying to interpret the dream)

No  :P
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 15 June, 2012, 05:12:09 pm
How do you milk a scorpion?

I didn't, they were snipping and snapping their pincers at me in the parlour making insect-y rattle-y hiss-y noises. Shudder.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: lou boutin on 15 June, 2012, 05:54:49 pm
I woke last night in a cold sweat after dreaming that I'd been asked to outline and justify the endogenous and exogenous variable of an analysis of data - and I couldn't.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 13 July, 2012, 10:45:51 am
Last night I was walking somewhere quite late at night and as I walked past the end of a street I noticed a man standing under a railway bridge, having a wank. He saw me and chased me and I knew he wanted to hurt me, so I ran round to a house in a nearby street where Take That all lived together in one big happy house (a bit like The Monkees). They were my friends so I knew they'd let me in, but as I turned into the street I could see Mark and Howard standing on the step and they ignored me shouting at them and went inside and shut the door. I banged on the door and rang the doorbell until they came and let me in.

Then I was posting on this forum to say that John Noakes had died, and the first three pages of the thread were an argument about how to spell Noakes. And while I was posting, I accidentally clicked on Andy Gates's username and found myself logging into his account and his password was something like HHUURRRHHHH RRRAAWWWWRRRRR HUUUNNNHHHHH with the Hs in a funny font.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Andrij on 13 July, 2012, 12:12:26 pm
So, cheese for dinner last night, Kirst?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 13 July, 2012, 12:18:00 pm
No, last night was aubergine & chickpea tagine with brown rice, and gooseberry & rhubarb oaty crumble with cream.

I blame bobb. I think he has some sort of mindbeam and he targets its rays on me while I sleep.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 July, 2012, 12:29:32 pm
Last night I was walking somewhere quite late at night and as I walked past the end of a street I noticed a man standing under a railway bridge, having a wank. He saw me and chased me and I knew he wanted to hurt me, so I ran round to a house in a nearby street where Take That all lived together in one big happy house (a bit like The Monkees). They were my friends so I knew they'd let me in, but as I turned into the street I could see Mark and Howard standing on the step and they ignored me shouting at them and went inside and shut the door. I banged on the door and rang the doorbell until they came and let me in.

Then I was posting on this forum to say that John Noakes had died, and the first three pages of the thread were an argument about how to spell Noakes. And while I was posting, I accidentally clicked on Andy Gates's username and found myself logging into his account and his password was something like HHUURRRHHHH RRRAAWWWWRRRRR HUUUNNNHHHHH with the Hs in a funny font.
Well that bit's realistic at least.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 17 July, 2012, 10:23:21 pm
Last night's dream consisted of the rarely seen together combination of clingfilm, space suits, Virginia Woolf and Dunwich Beach.  I completely forgot about it until barakta commented on my improved (read: lucky) clingfilm skills earlier.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Feline on 17 July, 2012, 10:30:57 pm
I had very weird dreams last night.

First, the riders on my ride were not happy with the pub I chose for the lunch stop because the landlord was too posh and condescending to them and then cooked them Venison which they didn't like. They all hated me for it.

Next I was riding in the GB team pursuit in the Olympics and Bradley Wiggins was shouting at me for going up the bank before I had done the correct distance on the front. We were at the Manchester velodrome where I have never been in my life. Weirdness  :-\
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 18 July, 2012, 04:11:45 pm
Not me but the night before last, SWMBO dreamed she was out shopping with her fiance, Boris Johnson who was nowhere near as barking as he appears......
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: lou boutin on 31 August, 2012, 07:39:18 am
I had a dream that I was sitting sociology ALevel and was answering a question about the dicotomy between desire and conscience. I argued a symbiotic relationship; without desire we would not have conscience and without conscience we would not understand the true nature of desire. I have never studied sociology and my ALevels were many many years ago.   ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 07 September, 2012, 11:11:02 pm
I had a dream about a "Back to the Future 2.5" TV series that follows what happens to Doc Brown in 1885 Hill Valley before Marty arrives to rescue him.  It was basically Northern Exposure in the old west.  I'm actually quite disappointed it wasn't real.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 08 September, 2012, 10:36:54 am
I'm disappointed it isn't real too. Sounds like it would be great.

Northern Exposure and Back to the Future are both ace.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 17 September, 2012, 08:55:08 am
A very spectacular dream last night in which I was in bed but the bed, on casters, was being blown along the pavement. Initially this was in Shenfield High Street but after a while we (the bed and I - no-one else was in it) joined the A12 and started hurtling towards London. Peculiarly, the A12 had had a carriageway reversal because we were driving in the continental style, on the right-hand-side.

At one point I was overtaken far too closely by a woman in a beaten-up white fiesta with sticky-backed flowers stuck to it so I gave her car a shove and it moved over to the correct lane. After that, she let go of her steering wheel and started rummaging around on the back seat, all the time with a phone in her ear. Fortunately at that point my bed took on an enormous burst of speed so I overtook her again and left her behind.

After a while I veered off and found myself in some woodland with some sort of ambulance station / hospital in it. The bed became stationary amongst the wood anemones and almost as soon as it had done so, mice started to burrow out of the mattress. I got out of bed and phoned Mrs. Wow and asked her if she could come and collect me, but before she turned up some annoying children arrived and decided to start lying in my bed and covering it in mud from their shoes.

Eventually Mrs. Wow arrived with Ben, our son-in-law, and we lifted the bed bodily and then started pushing it back along the road. Then there was a bit of dream I don't remember so I'll fast forward to a later bit in which Ben appeared, covered in blood, and he was going to take LOCOG to court because he'd tripped over some concealed bit of Olympic-related street furniture.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 11 October, 2012, 09:48:10 am
Last night was basically Neverwhere.  With mice and football.

I blame https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=64015.0
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 13 October, 2012, 10:28:41 am
The Doctor is a terminator. And so am I.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: TheLurker on 14 October, 2012, 09:11:02 am
Last night.  I was riding as a domestique for Sky and Brailsford called me in to extend my contract for another year. 

Those of you who know how old I am and slowly I ride (that'd be Jaded) will appreciate just how ridiculous a dream fragment it was.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 19 October, 2012, 01:14:55 pm
Pressing the limits of far fetched:

I randomly bumped into my old geography teacher.

While travelling on a tram with assorted Fridays types.

With bikes.

In Edinburgh.


The bed buzzed for Parcelfarce depot duty before I got a chance to wonder about how unlikely this all was.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Jaded on 19 October, 2012, 01:51:35 pm
I got a tattoo on my shin. And one on my biceps.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 19 October, 2012, 02:27:22 pm
I got a tattoo on my shin..snip.

Did it hurt?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 19 October, 2012, 05:53:46 pm
I had a very strange dream last night. I've forgotten most of it now, but it involved Wiggo being taught to ride a Lambretta like a proper mod, and how to stand and wear a suit like a proper mod. Very weird.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LindaG on 21 October, 2012, 05:56:32 pm
Last night I was pregnant, and I had a baby, and after I had the baby my tummy was all squidgy.

I woke up with no baby but my tummy was squidgy.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 29 October, 2012, 10:02:16 am
Last night I was pregnant, and I had a baby, and after I had the baby my tummy was all squidgy.

I woke up with no baby but my tummy was squidgy.

Wind?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 01 November, 2012, 02:20:22 pm
Manchester Piccadilly station.  Local TV news had just finished interviewing a cyclist with a Strida stranded by their new "only if it says 'Brompton'" cycle policy (this thread (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=64583.0) refers).  Mugged a passing golfist, and in an A-Team style welding montage, we modified the bike to look like a stick bag when folded, thus allowing it to pass the goons on the ticket barrier undetected.  TV crew were delighted and wanted to film it.  Didn't spot the obvious flaw in that strategy.  Observed that it was a pretty poor state of affairs when rail companies were justifying the sort of bicycular rubbish that 'designers' usually come up with.  Woke up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 01 November, 2012, 02:37:29 pm
Manchester Piccadilly station.  Local TV news had just finished interviewing a cyclist with a Strida stranded by their new "only if it says 'Brompton'" cycle policy (this thread (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=64583.0) refers).  Mugged a passing golfist, and in an A-Team style welding montage, we modified the bike to look like a stick bag when folded, thus allowing it to pass the goons on the ticket barrier undetected.  TV crew were delighted and wanted to film it.  Didn't spot the obvious flaw in that strategy.  Observed that it was a pretty poor state of affairs when rail companies were justifying the sort of bicycular rubbish that 'designers' usually come up with.  Woke up.

I sometimes wish I could spend some time in your head Kim ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 01 November, 2012, 03:02:59 pm
No you don't.  It's full of penguins and things that don't quite make sense.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 01 November, 2012, 03:37:09 pm
No you don't.  It's full of penguins and things that don't quite make sense.

Sign me up!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 02 November, 2012, 03:12:18 pm
Didcot library is a spacious, nineteenth-century building. In one corner is an alcove with a small statue of Queen Victoria holding her arms out like a Hindu goddess. Pressing a button hidden in her left elbow causes the section of wall with the alcove to swing round, revealing a hidden corridor to MattC's secret den. Here he introduced me to his siblings - two sisters, one slim one stout, and a younger brother. His flat is one of the upper floors and has original Victorian embossed wallpaper, but every inch of it has been painted white - even the floor! The party which his siblings had come for was just about to begin when the place morphed into a large 1930's semi, with pebbledash and bow window. Matt and his brother had disappeared but his sisters were still there, along with some people who I took to be their parents, only they had become Indian and were dressed in sarees. At the end of the gravel drive was a car towing a small, boxy trailer. The car's right rear door was open and I ran to get in, just as the wooden gates were closing - I think they must have been electric as no one was closing them. And then I woke up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Rhys W on 05 November, 2012, 01:10:43 am
Had a couple of good ones recently. First was I went to Belgium and I won a kermesse, but none of the local Belgian fans believed me when I crossed the line. Somehow I got to the finish line, won, and was then able to watch myself winning whilst standing on a bridge a few minutes later. Then last night I dreamt I was somehow roped in to play football for Wales. I know where this came from - I bumped in to my cousin last week, his best friend from school played for QPR and earned a couple of Welsh caps. My cousin told me about the time he went to his friend's testimonial match, thinking he was only there to enjoy the hospitality - until someone gave him a pair of boots and said "you're on!"
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 05 November, 2012, 07:37:51 am
The Doctor is a terminator. And so am I.

I once dreamt that Davros was Scottish, and looked like Glen Micheal of Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade fame......
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Tim Hall on 05 November, 2012, 07:11:16 pm
Tried to hack into David Martin's Raspberry Pi in an attempt to make it say lines from "2001 A Space Odyessy" in response to his key strokes. Just to wind him up.

Quote
I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that.

 The browser didn't work properly, so I couldn't do it though.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 05 November, 2012, 09:42:50 pm
Is that not also one of the redacted text messages of Rebekah Brooks?

On second thoughts, probably not...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 08 November, 2012, 09:03:00 am
Last night I dreamed bobb dumped me. I woke up crying.  :'(
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: vorsprung on 08 November, 2012, 09:08:49 am
I've been having some odd dreams lately

Last night I was on holiday and found a time bomb under my hotel bed
Night before I was chased by brightly dressed people with axes
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 12 November, 2012, 06:15:01 am
I dreamt that Torslanda was the owner of my LBS and I went to see him about something or other but it was suddendly nighttime and the shop was shut and for some reason empty  ???

All the stock had been moved into a shipping container on the back of a truck in the yard (for security overnight?) which I then had to move for the postman who had just turned up.

Then followed one of those annoying dream segments I get a lot where not matter how hard I pull on the handbrake the vehicle I'm driving/parking just won't stay still. At least the fence I knocked down wasn't real.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 12 November, 2012, 07:42:37 am
I dreamt that I *had* to travel to Edinburgh, despite it costing several hundred pounds to get there (from Dunfermline), as I *had* to buy Schwalbe Marathon GreenGuard tyres.
Then when I got to Edinburgh, I was in a panic as I couldn't find anywhere that stocked them.   ???

Curiously, I have been pondering about a set of new tyres for my tourer for over the winter...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 12 November, 2012, 07:28:52 pm
Then followed one of those annoying dream segments I get a lot where not matter how hard I pull on the handbrake the vehicle I'm driving/parking just won't stay still. At least the fence I knocked down wasn't real.

Every Cinquecento driver gets them.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 12 November, 2012, 08:43:04 pm
Ha, I've never actually had a handbrake problem bar having to pull quite high on a couple but they've always held.

I do rather regularly dream about such things though, I wonder what I'm really worried about  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: CrinklyLion on 12 November, 2012, 09:42:53 pm
Then followed one of those annoying dream segments I get a lot where not matter how hard I pull on the handbrake the vehicle I'm driving/parking just won't stay still. At least the fence I knocked down wasn't real.

Every Cinquecento driver gets them.

Funnily enough, I once had a similar dream - and I don't even drive.  Well, I had a lesson, once, 20+years ago and then went out in the car (a VW tho) with Granny Annie once, and drove into a hedge.  And had one lesson about 7 years ago in York, and hated it still, not least because of my utter inability to interpret what I was looking at in mirrors and the instructor's utter inability to understand that.

Odd dream though.  I'd forgotten about it until I read that post!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 12 November, 2012, 09:54:22 pm
Funnily enough, I once had a similar dream - and I don't even drive.

I used to get out-of-control-car dreams a lot more frequently before I learned to drive.

At least, until I owned a Cinquecento.   ;D


These days, I find that imaginary rear wheel bicycle skids are not uncommonly connected to that seconds-away-from-fully-asleep whole body spasm, especially if I've been riding off-road that day.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 06 December, 2012, 02:18:15 pm
I had an odd dream a night or two ago in which I was at the National Inter-County under-9 Chess Team Championships, in charge of Essex as usual.

All the other counties' team managers were YACFers.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: delthebike on 15 January, 2013, 12:01:01 pm

I was the secretary and bodyguard to Richard Stilgoe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Stilgoe) while in Kigali reporting on the civil war.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Rhys W on 15 January, 2013, 01:26:20 pm
Then followed one of those annoying dream segments I get a lot where not matter how hard I pull on the handbrake the vehicle I'm driving/parking just won't stay still. At least the fence I knocked down wasn't real.

Wow, I get these as well! Usually I'm on a slope and the car inexorably starts to roll down, I'm hauling on the handbrake to no avail. Never any real speed or crashes, just the gnawing feeling that this heavy car is going to nudge something quite forcefully eventually.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 15 January, 2013, 08:39:41 pm
I've had it, or variants of it, several times since then. That or manuvering in a car park and the car keeps going sideways despite no ice/snow.

Disconcerting.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 23 January, 2013, 02:03:37 pm
Last night I dreamed I lived at my dad's and I got a massive Russian grey cat and called him Baryshnikov, but I called him Pushka for short. He went out at night the first time I got him and was romping about in the back fields but a lion came and tried to stalk him so he hid and I was trying to chase the lion off by shining huge floodlights at it to get him back safely. It was very anxiety-provoking.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Jaded on 23 January, 2013, 05:10:58 pm
Dreamt we were on hols in Italy and I looked out the back window saw a for sale sign. Looked it up on the internet and found out if we sold here we could buy it. So went to have a look. It was about 5 storeys, cut into the side of a small mountain. Most of the rest of the dream was spent exploring it and imagining how much money we'd spend if we did buy it. Oh, and marvelling at the wooden steps that you put into place to get to the sea. They were about 30 foot long.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: andygates on 23 January, 2013, 07:46:10 pm
I woke up the other day after dreaming that Bjork had got really really fat. 

"Bjork has got really fat!" people were saying, "Doesn't she look great?"

Very odd. 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 24 January, 2013, 06:19:00 am
Last night I dreamt I lived 40km underground struggling to prepare water for scientists. And growing plants for food.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 24 January, 2013, 08:05:55 am
Last night I dreamed that I was a stealth bomber pilot on a secret mission with Angelina Jolie as my co pilot. An hour or so into the mission an alarm started to sound and Angelina and I struggled to identify what the cause of this potentially mission ending alarm was. Suddenly SWMBO kicked me in the shins and I discovered the alarm was my clock and it was past time to get out of bed ::-)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 01 February, 2013, 09:37:15 am
I was in a small town built of concrete and metal shacks. It looked like maybe Central America. I crossed a dusty, busy road, under the hot sun and walked up a steep, narrow street of fairly large houses with green, grassy gardens. Suddenly I knew I was going to visit Squiggle. Whatever name he's using now. I couldn't remember the number of his house but when I saw a lawn with several toddlers trikes, I knew it was his. A large, '60s modernist bungalow. I rang the bell. He wasn't expecting me but opened the door with his characteristic cheeky grin. We went to inspect his shiny, complicated coffee machine and there was a surprise - another visitor, Mal Volio! MV was worried about his car, a three-wheeled Mercedes - was it still parked outside? I reassured him. Then I woke up suddenly and was genuinely surprised to find myself in my own bed.

When I fell asleep again the dream continued. Or was it another dream? Now I was logging on to the forum and Biggsy had posted a photo of a poisonous insect which he'd found in his house. This was causing quite a stir, partly for Biggsy's safety and partly because it was such a rare species. And then it faded out.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: vorsprung on 01 February, 2013, 04:07:11 pm
Last night I dreamed I had to name four types of bacon
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 01 February, 2013, 04:56:21 pm
Did you succeed?

Without invoking T S Eliot?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 03 February, 2013, 11:18:46 pm
Had one last night which hardly involved any marbles or microswitches, but did feature clarion OTP having trouble with an ICE trike after cold-setting the frame to narrow the track width with a large hammer(!); various stuff pertaining to databases that I'd been thinking about before I went to bed; and David Cameron making me late for a train by calling in my unattended bike as a security threat, and then - for reasons too poorly explained to get into - dying painfully in an enormous fireball (while I survived unharmed on account of knowing to duck).

Good ending, anyway.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 February, 2013, 11:38:23 pm
I've had a few mornings in which I've woken up with the uncomfortable feeling that I've had a weird/funny dream without actually remembering what the dream was.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 04 February, 2013, 07:05:32 am
Do you think I need a bigger hammer?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: hellymedic on 04 February, 2013, 02:26:23 pm
Ah, I have been waiting for an appropriate place to post this. A couple of weeks ago I awoke with a start at around 0300, thinking: Hendon! Just that.

As far as I know I have no connection with Hendon. Whatever could it mean?

Dunno. I have many connections with Hendon; parents, two brothers and seven offsprung live there.
There's Johnson's of Hendon (litmus paper in the 60s)
Hendon Aerodrome (now Grahame Park Estate) and the RAF Museum, Hendon
Metropolitan Police College, Hendon (closed)
The greyhound track was demolished before Brent Cross flyover was built.

Then there's a Hendon somewhere oop North.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 04 February, 2013, 02:45:47 pm
Ah, I have been waiting for an appropriate place to post this. A couple of weeks ago I awoke with a start at around 0300, thinking: Hendon! Just that.

As far as I know I have no connection with Hendon. Whatever could it mean?

Dunno. I have many connections with Hendon; parents, two brothers and seven offsprung live there.
There's Johnson's of Hendon (litmus paper in the 60s)
Hendon Aerodrome (now Grahame Park Estate) and the RAF Museum, Hendon
Metropolitan Police College, Hendon (closed)
The greyhound track was demolished before Brent Cross flyover was built.

Then there's a Hendon somewhere oop North.

Nah,

I think he had just left a chook cooking in't oven.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ham on 04 February, 2013, 03:27:27 pm
Last night, amongst a proliferation of strangeness, at one point I was expecting to see a bottle nosed dolphin in the Thames. I didn't see one of those, but I did see a hammerhead shark, very clearly.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: hellymedic on 04 February, 2013, 03:29:53 pm
David says he dreamt his iPad caught on fire after he cooked an egg on it...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 04 February, 2013, 03:39:03 pm
I dreamed this morning, inter alia, that I was chasing an errant videotape around.  I managed to entice it into a videoplayer, but it turned out to be a good quality one, and my colleague was cursing that it wasn't a JVC, which would, of course (?), mangle the tape into an unusable form.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: agagisgroovy on 04 February, 2013, 07:30:43 pm
I keep having dreams which involve my room.
Like last night, a surfboard blowing in through the window - I was quite disappointed to find there wasn't one sitting there in the morning though  :'(.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: andygates on 04 February, 2013, 07:33:06 pm
A Superbowl / On-Call dream:  The lights have gone out and I'm down in the underlevels of the Superbowl with angry officialls yelling at me to get the power back on.  "I can't!" I shout back, "I'm IT! You need to find Steve from Estates!"

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 February, 2013, 08:15:33 pm
David says he dreamt his iPad caught on fire after he cooked an egg on it...
But was the Hendon?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: cycleman on 04 February, 2013, 10:05:54 pm
i was riding down a loverly country lane on a 2 wheel recumbent trike .at the bottom of a long decent the road started to climb but turned into a track . i though that a my legs would not be strong enough to get me up the hill and b i would lose control and fall off on the loose surface . of course i climbed it with no problem. the most odd thing was i was riding along in my sleeping bag  ::-) :)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 04 February, 2013, 10:10:19 pm
Umm, a two wheel trike? Howzat work then?!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 04 February, 2013, 10:17:05 pm
You've evidently not ridden with cycleman...   :D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: cycleman on 05 February, 2013, 09:12:14 am
it's a balance thing  ;D. disregard the trike bit  :-[  :)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 05 February, 2013, 11:06:41 am
I had a dream the other day where I was trying to work out how to store all the details of an upcoming cub scout camp (non-day job) into an EDI message (day job).
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 07 February, 2013, 06:36:57 am
Two very weird dreams last night.

In the first I was on holiday in Cornwall I think, with Richard Hammond, I took the opportunity to tell Jeremy Clarkson what I thought of him (as we met him at the top of a hill) and then spend a considerable amount of time smooching Mr Hammond's wife, who, on googling, looks nothing like herself.

And the second. I was, along with many others, trapped in a gigantic food processing plant/supermarket/warehouse. Initially in sector A we were being herded towards some doors which I felt wise to avoid. Some manic dodging of band saws and grinders later (thought I'd be joining some horses as burger meat) I escaped sector A and worked my way all the way down to sector Z.

Still unable to find an exit it ultimately turned out that the entire building, along with the pocket universe it resided in, was a construct. Created, by accident, by a little old lady (who was working as a cleaner in Z) as a result of her distress at her husband passing away. Bit of a sad ending to what, until then, had been a frenetic fight for survival.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: slope on 07 February, 2013, 03:00:54 pm
I had this dream the night before Keith Richards' birthday on 18th December. I was out walking along a city pavement, with my hands deep in huge pockets, looking down at my feet, confused by unrecognisable paint stained baggy trousers and badly scuffed leather slippers. When along came Keith Richards who said “hi Paul”. So I said “oh, hi Keith”. He put his arm around my shoulder, so I an arm around the small of his back. We carried on ambling. Nothing else was said until I noticed Keith looking down at my slippers, I sensed he also wondered what this was about. I offered my apologies and explained I didn’t know who’s slippers they were nor who the trousers belonged to. Without any answers, we continued walking embraced in silence.

After a timeless long while a huge Victorian pavilion not unlike laughable Brighton appeared, one long side of which sported a series of tall narrow etched glass doors with panelled wooden bottoms. Keith said “do you fancy a swift half Paul?” I replied “yeah, why not?” Finally a way in was found through two doors wide open at the very far end. We shuffled, arms still entwined into a huge ballroom with chandeliers and an intercontinental ocean of blonde maple flooring.

Immediately before us half a dozen or so circular linen clad dining tables occupied a few depressed diners all eating huge steaming plates of boiled potatoes, smelling of school canteens. A flurry of waiters straight from La Coupole clad in ankle length white waist tied aprons and white gloves waltzed stupidly around with silver platters at shoulder height, balanced on their ridiculous fingertips, just showing off.

Keith and I slowly surveyed the rest of the empty cavernous dancehall until we espied the bar at least a quarter of a mile away, running the entire width of a football pitch. We cocked our chins up slightly in respect, or fuckitness for the grandeur of the place and slid across the sprung floor hoping to make the bar before nightfall. As the vast ornate counter approached with its highly polished foot rail, it started growing in height, at least a dozen women bartenders clad in crisp white blouses buttoned to the neck and tight maroon waistcoats slowly disappearing behind the towering edifice.

By the time I said to Keith, “my shout” we were only half way up to the height of the counter. The endless row of hand pulled beer pumps we longed for on our journey were invisible now. Up until then, there were no other people at the bar. Whilst trying think what to order 5 or 6 blokes arrived jostling around us and the concentrated silence was shattered by macho pub banter and the worship of Keith. I tried shouting to one of the unseen barmaids -  one leant over trying to find who was yelling at her. I raised my voice to a scream. She couldn’t hear what I said. The throng were obviously drunk and getting rowdier and rowdier. I cupped my hands either side of my mouth and yelled so loud my head split “TWO PINTS OF LAGER”. The reply was “WHAT?”

At this point Keith was hopelessly bobbling with the ugly men, their faces right in his, all yelling at him, telling him how great he was. I put my hands back deep in my pockets turned and tried to walk in a manner that would convey my displeasure with drinkless lost friend resignation. Slowly the strange slippers shuffled me towards the distant open doors and I returned to wondering who they belonged to. No one noticed me – I looked back to check. Just before I took my leave a wing collared maitre d’ came rushing up from nowhere and declared I “was never to step foot in the establishment, ever again!” My parting cry of “FUCK OFF PENGUIN” woke me up!




Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Andrij on 07 February, 2013, 03:50:30 pm
We need to know what sort of cheese you people are eating before you go to sleep!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: bobb on 07 February, 2013, 03:55:39 pm
Well, if you hang out with Keith Richards, I would imagine it's more than just cheese that's being consumed!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 08 February, 2013, 09:40:58 am
Last night Clan Fuzzy drove to an unidentified Northern Town to attend an afternoons festivities known as being a travelling football fan.

I parked in a railway station car park and we left the car with me worrying if I had paid enough parking money to last the day.

I then approached the soldier standing armed guard at the station ticket hall and asked him directions to the Town centre so that Clan Fuzzy could do some pre football browsing. He explained that we could follow the path through the canyon which, in 15 minutes would lead us to the heart of the town OR we could hop on a train to the next station which was right next to Sainsbury's and ould take 5 minutes. I thanked him and walked outside to explain the options to SWMBO.

As we discussed our plans, we were stood looking accross a vista which included rows of terraced housing in the foreground with a swathe of forest behind and a grand castle high on a cliff above the town. To the east was more yellow stone cliffs with alpine style roads snaking upwards, through hairpins and tunnels. Many vehicles could be seen on these roads paying mucho respect to the colourful lycra clad cyclists using these roads to get some good training miles in.

After our discussion, Clan Fuzzy opted for the canyon walk to town and off we went, accompanied by many other like minded football fans, all of us singing "We are Paolo's red and white army!"
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: slope on 08 February, 2013, 09:52:23 am
We need to know what sort of cheese you people are eating before you go to sleep!

Heavily Prozacced cheese mainly
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 08 February, 2013, 01:03:23 pm
Mike Burrows, making seat brackets out of Source 4s.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 08 February, 2013, 01:19:02 pm
Wouldn't put it past him.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 23 February, 2013, 02:31:53 pm
Dream fragment remembered as I woke up featured CrinklyLion OTP catching a train to a forum get-together with cubs, but without bikes (as is becoming a theme).  Unusually, however, they did have a large canoe, and we were concerned about whether it would fit in the dangly bike space.  It was an awkward lift, and the paddles kept falling out, with EldestCub being instructed to retrieve them "because Kim says you never know when you'll be up the creek".
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: TheLurker on 23 February, 2013, 05:07:17 pm
A bloke who I last worked with / saw some 20 years ago turned up at a place not quite entirely unlike my current work-place to replace the laser printer (it could have been an LN05, but it looked too "modern" for that so it might have been a 1st gen Kyocera) . Which he did.  With an Intermec "till roll" printer.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 25 February, 2013, 07:27:02 am
Last night I went to stay with Charlotte & Julian. While I was in London I met a woman who seemed a bit strange to me but J&C insisted I had to invite her to the social things we were doing. The four of us set off to walk to somewhere and the route took us through a beautiful park full of marble statues, then the road went underground and things got very unpleasant. There was a huge rat, as big as a beagle, and the sky was darkening and full of smoke and noxious fumes and we thought it might be the way to hell. We kept going though and it took us into a nightclub which was packed, even though it was daytime, and we went out the other side and exited into Paddington station. Charlotte was talking about a dinner party she wanted to have the next night in a very expensive restaurant, but I offered to cook instead. Then I woke up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Efrogwr on 25 February, 2013, 10:09:16 am
I was travelling from East Anglia to the west of Scotland by bus, via Didcot.

My Cheese of Choice is Parmesan.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 25 February, 2013, 11:32:14 am
I was interviewing "Brenda" for a job as a receptionist?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 25 February, 2013, 02:01:54 pm
then the road went underground and things got very unpleasant. There was a huge rat, as big as a beagle, and the sky was darkening and full of smoke and noxious fumes and we thought it might be the way to hell. We kept going though and it took us into a nightclub which was packed, even though it was daytime, and we went out the other side and exited into Paddington station.

Ah, the Hammersmith and City line.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 28 February, 2013, 11:34:13 am
Last night I dreamt had a nightmare I was pregnant.
In my dream, however, there was some confusion whether I was pregnant or my dog. There were things we couldn't do, because the dog was pregnant. My foetus was very bony and I could feel her moving around. At some parts of the dream this was because it was the dog, and obviously whippets are longer limbed and bonier than people. There was some medical worry and I wasn't sure the foetus (I'm not calling it baby, because like I said, it may have been a dog) the foetus was actually growing in the right place and when I felt through my belly when it was moving around and poking its limbs about it felt very close to the surface and I was worried it was not in a uterus, and just swimming around in there.

I have a mirena coil, I've been surgically improved and I don't have a dog, but in the dream it was very real. I woke up quite panicky.

Note to self: just 'cause it's low carb, doesn't mean you should eat cheese before bed.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 28 February, 2013, 12:56:10 pm
Last night I was a house guest of Neil Armstrong and we spent hours reminiscing about his time as a test pilot and astronaut, looking at his scrap books, phot collections, memorabilia and books etc.

I then asked him whether he missed the Air Force.

It wasn't until I woke up this morning and was cleaning my teeth that I relaised what a stupid question that was. he was a civilian test pilot ::-)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 28 February, 2013, 03:44:56 pm
Last night I was a house guest of Neil Armstrong and we spent hours reminiscing about his time as a test pilot and astronaut, looking at his scrap books, phot collections, memorabilia and books etc.

There's a missed opportunity. You could have asked him about Mr Gorskey.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Juan Martín on 28 February, 2013, 04:13:10 pm
Wartime Soviet aircraft, Scotland, exploding trousers and so on. Just the usual for me last night.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 10 March, 2013, 11:17:45 am
I came home and was very aware that someone had been in my flat although nothing had been taken. Then I found a man asleep in my bed. He said his mother had bought the flat and he was renting it from her. She'd bought it from someone pretending to be me. I had to call the police to a) get rid of him and b) report a case of fraud. Then me and Princess Anne were hanging out and became good friends.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 11 March, 2013, 10:11:20 am
Then me and Princess Anne were hanging out and became good friends.

That's useful as I can't remember if I told her Mum she had got the job-

I was interviewing "Brenda" for a job as a receptionist?

Can you ask for me?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 11 March, 2013, 10:49:19 am
Nothing of note last night, but a few nights ago a tiger took up residence in my parents' old house (demolished in 2000) and it had killed Delthebike. I had to kill it with a carving knife and for some reason I ended up skewering a dog. There was quite a lot of other detail as well, and after I had woken up from that dream I had another, which I could remember at the time and it was quite disturbing, but I've forgotten now.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: delthebike on 11 March, 2013, 10:51:59 am
and it had killed Delthebike.
It's just a flesh wound!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 11 March, 2013, 12:37:35 pm
I fed the function for the Julia Set into an eTrex .IMG file.  It produced an infinitely zoomable map of Runcorn.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 11 March, 2013, 01:48:55 pm
Mis-read that as:
It produced an infinitely zombiable map of Runcorn.

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 11 March, 2013, 03:05:49 pm
Mis-read that as:
It produced an infinitely zombiable map of Runcorn.

That wouldn't be a dream...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Karla on 11 March, 2013, 04:20:30 pm
Here's a text message I received from my doctor brother:

"Had a dream last night that u persuaded me to do a 30 mile cycle event with u n some of your cycling buddies. The furthest ive cycled in one go for several years is as far as the nearest hospital*.  It didn't go well."

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 March, 2013, 10:33:19 am
I woke up this morning in a dream where Radio 3's current Baroque Season had an official clock, which somehow you could see although it was radio, and they'd changed it from digital to analogue to help my son learn to tell the time. Very kind of them, though he can already.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 14 March, 2013, 06:37:15 am
Dreamt my boss had taken me to get a haircut but I got told off as when I took my jumper off my t-shirt rode up slightly, apparently next time I have to get changed in a decent fashion of I'll be barred  ???

Also the mafia were hunting me and hiding around the approaches to my house for the heinous crime of overtaking one of their cars in the snow. So I carried on for a bike ride for a bit longer before somehow teleporting into the bathroom.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 14 March, 2013, 07:23:56 am
Then me and Princess Anne were hanging out and became good friends.

That's useful as I can't remember if I told her Mum she had got the job-

I was interviewing "Brenda" for a job as a receptionist?

Can you ask for me?
Sorry, fuzzy, she's already taken another job in the local Harvester.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Rhys W on 14 March, 2013, 09:33:58 am
I was on some sort of date with an ex-girlfriend, walking down a footpath down towards the sea. I was horrified to discover somebody had built a motorway slip road higher up, so confused motorists were careering down this steep footpath at 60mph. We somehow avoided being run over and started walking back up (it was quite steep), and on the other side there was a railway with platforms every few hundred metres. At one platform there were some dodgy-looking characters, several people who had head injuries, and an 8-foot tall black kangaroo (built more like a grizzly bear) on a leash. Quite scary, so we avoided eye contact and walked on.

I love it when I can relate a bizarre dream bit to something that happened earlier in the day. The last thing I watched before going to bed last night was a documentary on railways - workers dealing with abusive drunks (including attending to one who'd cracked his head open). The kangaroo is a mystery though.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 15 March, 2013, 11:39:42 am
I love it when I can relate a bizarre dream bit to something that happened earlier in the day.
Excellent. Can you explain how come last night I dreamt I was out for dinner with Deano and Crinkles and took a huge strop because there was nothing on the menu- as in, the words on the menu (which was a paper plate) had been worn off by the greasy bolognese sauce it had been holding. Deanos hair was even more like Dennis (the Menace)'s in the dream than it currently is IRL. Kat was wearing a purple kaftan that, well, did nothing for her, tbh.
O, and when I flounced out of the pub there were some Willesden types I haven't seen since Versailles August 2011 enjoying a drink as they perused their menus.

No?

Thought not.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LindaG on 15 March, 2013, 11:57:27 am
I dreamed my grandparents' dining room was being taken over by slugs.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 March, 2013, 01:33:59 pm
My ex and I flew to Peru to look for a friend's missing daughter  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: delthebike on 18 March, 2013, 07:42:48 am
NSTN rode up to me last night on her new blue Brompton and said
"Here Del, you need a Guinness!"
She handed over a bottle of Guinness and rode off.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LindaG on 18 March, 2013, 08:59:31 am
All my teeth went crumbly and fell out and my Nana told me off for not looking after them.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 18 March, 2013, 08:53:29 pm
One from the weekend - me and my companions, in a space ship, nose into the unlit cargo bay of a bigger ship, using our ships lights to see if anyone is moving in what looks the aftermath of a large disturbance, cargo crates spilled open, a forklift on it's side.

Suddenly movement, somethings pads its way from the shadows towards us...... it was only a blooming badger! Wowbadgers in space!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Efrogwr on 18 March, 2013, 09:17:15 pm
I dreamed that I met Rapples, formerly of this forum. It was not a worthwhile experience.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 19 March, 2013, 12:59:14 pm
 ;D

Last night bobb and I had a huge argument about something but I don't know what, I just know he was mistaken - I hadn't really done whatever it was he thought I had done. I was pretty certain we'd broken up and I was really upset. We were at the seaside and I went to the beach to find someone to teach me to surf the Severn Bore. Whoever was going to teach me to surf had a horrible blond moustache - he was kind of like a younger, blonder version of whichever one out of Hale and Pace has the moustache.

Whenever I dream about bobb we're either breaking up or getting married. It's most disconcerting.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 27 March, 2013, 08:24:14 am
Mrs A and I went to the new Leeds shopping centre.  In order to get home we of course bought a new car, a very shiny black vauxhall (why?).  Strangely enough even when sitting in it I could see it from the outside and watched it slowly change colour to deep blue.   Unfortunately it was incredibly slow and although the speedo was showing 80, everything else on the road overtook and disappeared.  We were on an empty road.  Then there was a long, dark, steep hill and in order to descend, we turned the car round and went down backwards.  As we went down, the rear window through which I was looking, started to get smaller and smaller.  Just as it disappeared completely we reached the bottom of the hill and there were traffic lights.  When we took the right filter the car changed into a powerful motorbike but the engine wasn't running.  The lights kept changing through all sorts of different shapes and colours except a green arrow.  Eventually Mrs A got off and crossed on foot waiting the other side.  When the lights at last went green the motor was still off so I quickly wheeled the bike over and we both got on, just as a large guy in black leathers on a mountain bike came straight towards us (the wrong way on a dual carriageway) and stooped just in front being very aggressive.  A crowd gathered and he started to remove the motorcycle helmet he was wearing and squared up.  I said to him 'if we are going to fight, won't you need a helmet?'  Then I noticed the policeman standing behind him and immediately he and everyone else just disappeared.  The road was clear and we realised that the engine wasn't running because we hadn't plugged it in.  So we did, wondering if there was enough cable to get us home.  Luckily it stretched and stretched, we got home and I woke up.

I know Mrs A wants to visit the new Leeds shopping centre, I think it's been worrying me!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Flynn on 01 April, 2013, 09:49:56 am
There is a vacant flat next door. I dreamed an Amish sect, complete with wide brim hats, beards etc. moved in, and were playing live rock music on the balcony out front on Fenders through a couple of Marshall amps.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Dora on 01 April, 2013, 11:39:08 pm
I dreamed I had taken my horse to a show and discovered you could sign up for the one day event on the day.  I looked at the dressage test and it was a BE90 (easy) test - so I decided it was do-able and signed up.  Then I walked the cross country course and the jumps were up to 1m (huge for solid, fixed jumps).  I decided at that point to pull out of the competition.   :demon: Stupid, bloody pointless waste of an REM cycle. 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 18 April, 2013, 03:27:24 pm
I was watching or at a Barack Obama press conference where he was talking about his gun control proposals. As I watched, his skin took on a gradually more plastic or waxen sheen. I then realised he was being pelted with beer by suit wearing, cowboy hatted atendees. He endured this for about a minute before starting to leave the stage. As he did so, someone threw something else at him. Obama responded by going balistic, leaping into the crowd and beating the shit out of the culprit before the Secret Service could drag him away.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 18 April, 2013, 09:34:26 pm
The other night a bike shop sent Morgan Freeman (he's an assassin apparently) to kill me, because they felt they'd undercharged for a water bottle and wanted it back.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Rhys W on 23 April, 2013, 11:49:04 pm
I was with my dad sat outside a cafe, a heart-breakingly pretty waitress was getting really annoyed with us because we were sitting at their table and not buying anything. I decided to try and mediate, resulting in me hitting it off with said waitress. Turned out she also owned a record shop. I think she was just offering me a job/stake in the shop when I woke up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 25 April, 2013, 07:42:00 pm
I dreamt I didn't exist last night and woke up rather discombobulated.

Have felt out of synch with the universe all day  :-\
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 25 April, 2013, 08:51:39 pm
I dreamed bobb's cat Boris died. I texted him several times today to make him go and check!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 26 April, 2013, 09:50:32 am
I was on an Albert Hitchcock narrated 'It's a small world' stylee ride through a huge porn movie studio where all the action was live action. Not a puppet (though plenty of Gimps) in sight.

Pretty wild.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LindaG on 25 May, 2013, 01:04:33 pm
I just had a dream about Jimmy Savile  :(
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 25 May, 2013, 01:30:25 pm
Now wash your hands.

In fact, a thorough shower might be needed.  With double strength mind bleach.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: longers on 27 May, 2013, 08:48:40 am
Last night I dreamt that Mark Cavendish launched his own range of tinned tuna. I think that counts as weird.
£1.60 for 4 tins with a pack of pitta breads thrown in.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 01 June, 2013, 10:19:10 am
Last night I dreamt bobb and I had a row. I think my anxiety about him going away is kicking in.  ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Arch on 01 June, 2013, 08:03:11 pm
We were doing some work on a house (not so unusual), and I started to pull a cable out of the wall, and it kept coming and coming and coming until a loose end came out, and then someone said it was the old disused telegraph cable to Japan.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 03 June, 2013, 09:20:10 am
I was in goal for Swindon Town. I was playing a blinder until a bit of a misunderstanding twixt me and a defender led to the opposition going 1 up :-[
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 03 June, 2013, 09:41:18 am
Were the opposition from Didcot?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 03 June, 2013, 09:47:33 am
Were the opposition from Didcot?

I have no idea who the opposition were. I just pray they weren't Oxford United  :sick:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ham on 03 June, 2013, 05:22:11 pm
I had a strange dream where I had a strange dream......


That could get terrifyingly recursive.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 03 June, 2013, 09:44:15 pm
Given that I'm a night away from my first exam in six years I am amazed I haven't had an "I'm in an exam but haven't studied the subject/don't have a pen/am naked" type dream yet. Especially given that I had them for a good three years after finishing Uni the first time around.

(Why oh why did I start Uni again?!  :facepalm:)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 04 June, 2013, 07:36:41 am
After a pretty sleep-deprived weekend (sleeping in the car doesn't count) with a little exertion thrown in, I should have slept like a log last night. Instead I fell into a complicated world where cows and sheep talked and had complicated medical issues that only I could resolve. There were also men in top hats and frock costs (in a kind of Abraham Lincoln style-eee) who distributed the arm length gloves.

Now I'm really tired.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Chris S on 04 June, 2013, 08:51:34 am
After a pretty sleep-deprived weekend (sleeping in the car doesn't count) with a little exertion thrown in, I should have slept like a log last night. Instead I fell into a complicated world where cows and sheep talked and had complicated medical issues that only I could resolve. There were also men in top hats and frock costs (in a kind of Abraham Lincoln style-eee) who distributed the arm length gloves.

Now I'm really tired.

Ah - that'll be the James Herriot effect (http://www.worldofjamesherriot.org/) - having spent all weekend Oop North. We could have popped in...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 04 June, 2013, 09:07:36 am
I had a strange dream where I had a strange dream......


That could get terrifyingly recursive.

Last night I dreamed that I was taking care of other people's dreams, which hovered like a multi-coloured bubble above their beds.  That all sounds a bit Prisoner-esque, but it was beautiful.  Our Little Duck had particularly lovely and abstract dreams.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: jogler on 04 June, 2013, 09:10:10 am
After a pretty sleep-deprived weekend (sleeping in the car doesn't count) with a little exertion thrown in, I should have slept like a log last night. Instead I fell into a complicated world where cows and sheep talked and had complicated medical issues that only I could resolve. There were also men in top hats and frock costs (in a kind of Abraham Lincoln style-eee) who distributed the arm length gloves.

Now I'm really tired.

u r Dr.Doolittle AICMFP
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Littlesox on 09 June, 2013, 07:23:23 am
Woke up shouting in the early hours the other night.

When Mrs Sox asked what was wrong, I told her I had been attacked by a Giraffe.

WTF ?

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: PaulR on 14 June, 2013, 09:09:56 am
Oh dear, I don't know whether I should break this to Mrs R, but last night I had an audax dream. 

I'd happily pootled round a 100 and all of a sudden found that my sister had managed to get me to embark on a 600.  I pedalled on, thinking that maybe it would be all right.  Then it kind of went blank.

Is this realistic?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 14 June, 2013, 11:21:26 am
I was sleeping with my hand elevated last night.  I know this because I had a vivid dream about trying to evict an angry, bitey squirrel.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: CrinklyLion on 17 June, 2013, 07:11:48 am
I managed to have a particularly vicious circular anxiety attack, with bonus added ex-being-obstructive and small-cubs-being-uncooperative and assorted other rubbish.  Whilst asleep, in a dream.  Bah.  Quite tired this morning.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Valiant on 17 June, 2013, 12:23:33 pm
It's been ages since I dreamt :( this thread almost makes up for it.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: PeteB99 on 17 June, 2013, 12:50:53 pm
On my way to work this morning I decided to go for a swim (When I did work swimming was always on the way home in the evening?) Got to the baths and found someone had locked their bike to mine and removed my left crank and left it hanging from the bars. Spent some time walking round asking random people if they owned a hybrid bike with Plum written along the top tube  ???. Realised I was now 1 1/2 hours late for my first lecture at college (Wasn't I going to work a minute ago?) took a short cut which took a lot longer than the normal route and then had to squeeze through a very tight turnstile to get into the building (that must have been when I got tangled up in the quilt!)

So which one of you lot has a bike named Plum?
Why did you take the crank off my bike?
And can I have the crankbolt back please?

I often do dream but rarely remember them in any detail. no cheese or alcohol went into the manufacture of this dream.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 17 June, 2013, 01:02:32 pm
I dreamt last night that I got seven hours of deep, uninterupted, dreamless sleep.

No, wait a minute, thats what happened; so more like a dream fulfilled! :D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: peliroja on 18 June, 2013, 11:09:19 pm
Oh goodness. This has reminded me of last night's dream.

The main protagonists were Charlotte and Julian, but other yacfers featured as extras.

Charlotte had posted something in Health and Fitness seeking advice on behalf of Julian, who was suffering a  minor ailment. I forget what the minor ailment was.

But this post was considered by The Forum Police (a force outside yacf) to contravene Forum Rools as it was too descriptive. The Forum Police demanded that the topic be no longer discussed!

So instead of continuing the thread through the medium of the written word, Charlotte posted a video of herself and Julian renacting the original post (the description of the ailment) in the form of a silent movie. And, in a wibbly-wobbly, dreamy-weamy type way, other forum members (Basil was prominent, as were Crinkly and Jurek) started floating in and out of the background of the movie offering advice through dance and mime.

If I remember correctly, all ailments were successfully sorted.

[Please note: no cheese was harmed in the making of the above dream.]
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LindaG on 18 June, 2013, 11:11:36 pm
Oh goodness. This has reminded me of last night's dream.

The main protagonists were Charlotte and Julian, but other yacfers featured as extras.

Charlotte had posted something in Health and Fitness seeking advice on behalf of Julian, who was suffering a  minor ailment. I forget what the minor ailment was.

But this post was considered by The Forum Police (a force outside yacf) to contravene Forum Rools as it was too descriptive. The Forum Police demanded that the topic be no longer discussed!

So instead of continuing the thread through the medium of the written word, Charlotte posted a video of herself and Julian renacting the original post (the description of the ailment) in the form of a silent movie. And, in a wibbly-wobbly, dreamy-weamy type way, other forum members (Basil was prominent, as were Crinkly and Jurek) started floating in and out of the background of the movie offering advice through dance and mime.

If I remember correctly, all ailments were successfully sorted.

[Please note: no cheese was harmed in the making of the above dream.]

That needs to be on YouTube.

Last week I in my holiday cottage I dreamed Deano had fallen asleep on the sofa.  He had improbably skinny long legs, which were draped all over the place and I kept falling over them.  Seriously, they were so long they were in all three rooms downstairs, wibbly wobblied all over the furniture and along the walls and everything.  It was really weird.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 19 June, 2013, 12:36:56 am
Oh goodness. This has reminded me of last night's dream.

[...]

So instead of continuing the thread through the medium of the written word, Charlotte posted a video of herself and Julian renacting the original post (the description of the ailment) in the form of a silent movie. And, in a wibbly-wobbly, dreamy-weamy type way, other forum members (Basil was prominent, as were Crinkly and Jurek) started floating in and out of the background of the movie offering advice through dance and mime.

That needs to be on YouTube.

Absolutely!  I think we've got a book of medical signs somewhere to get started with...


Quote
Last week I in my holiday cottage I dreamed Deano had fallen asleep on the sofa.  He had improbably skinny long legs, which were draped all over the place and I kept falling over them.  Seriously, they were so long they were in all three rooms downstairs, wibbly wobblied all over the furniture and along the walls and everything.  It was really weird.

A friend of mine from school had legs like that.  He was about 95% shin.  We used to have to fold him up like a Brompton to make him fit in the back of cars and things.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Julian on 19 June, 2013, 12:35:14 pm
Oh goodness. This has reminded me of last night's dream.

The main protagonists were Charlotte and Julian, but other yacfers featured as extras.

Charlotte had posted something in Health and Fitness seeking advice on behalf of Julian, who was suffering a  minor ailment. I forget what the minor ailment was.

But this post was considered by The Forum Police (a force outside yacf) to contravene Forum Rools as it was too descriptive. The Forum Police demanded that the topic be no longer discussed!

So instead of continuing the thread through the medium of the written word, Charlotte posted a video of herself and Julian renacting the original post (the description of the ailment) in the form of a silent movie. And, in a wibbly-wobbly, dreamy-weamy type way, other forum members (Basil was prominent, as were Crinkly and Jurek) started floating in and out of the background of the movie offering advice through dance and mime.

If I remember correctly, all ailments were successfully sorted.

[Please note: no cheese was harmed in the making of the above dream.]

Oddly enough, I was in the hospital yesterday morning being looked at for a minor ailment of the sort that shouldn't be described on a public forum.  :o

(Glad to hear it ends well :))
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: peliroja on 19 June, 2013, 01:47:47 pm
 :o

I am now very slightly freaked out. I hope real life has the same positive outcome as the dream!  :-*
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wascally Weasel on 20 June, 2013, 06:57:51 am
This was an odd one; I was Craig Charles and I was having an argument about honesty with John Simm, who had accused me of nicking £10 off him.

I think this dream means that I owe John Simm money.  If ever I meet him I shall tell him I owe him £10 and that I am sorry for stealing it.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 20 June, 2013, 12:05:44 pm
The cats (which we don't have) were complaining to me about the disruption to their routine when we went to our second house (which we don't have - we don't even own one) to clear the furniture out.  We weren't selling it, but just decided it would be better with empty rooms, and bare floors.  For what, I am not sure.  I woke up stiff and achey, after all that furniture removal. :-\
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: cycleman on 20 June, 2013, 07:56:42 pm
was your bed outside in the garden when you woke up  :D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: phantasmagoriana on 21 June, 2013, 07:21:58 am
For some reason, I was doing a 200k and a 300k audax, which were back-to-back with no break in between at all (:o  ???), and started from the same place (Northallerton, which had inexplicably moved and was nearer where Malton is in reality). I finished the 200, but lost my routesheet and GPS at the end. Then I set out on the 300, and got 50k in before realising I didn't have a clue where I was actually going. So I packed and was riding home when I woke up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 23 June, 2013, 11:23:01 pm
Don't know what the pretty girl was dreaming last night.

Laying curled up next to me while I was reading the news. She then started to move about, legs and arms moving about gently, for a good couple of minutes. Then she said "I can't do it" very clearly and rolled onto her back, with open eyes. I asked her, "What can't you do?" and the answer was a very sleepy, "I don't know". Then she spent a good 45-60 seconds looking around and at me somewhat confused, but clearly still fast asleep even with her eyes open. With me trying my best not to crack up laughing out loud. Then suddenly she smiled her beautiful smile and rolled back and curled up next to me, gone to the world.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: peliroja on 23 June, 2013, 11:27:10 pm
Perhaps it was wind. 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 03 July, 2013, 01:48:44 pm
I was about to watch The Phantom Menace.  Fortunately the dream was interrupted by the postman.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 03 July, 2013, 01:56:36 pm
Apparently, my boss has twice dreamt over the last week or so that I handed my notice in, because I got a job closer to home.

<please let it come true, please let it come true, please let it come true, please let it come true. please let it come true>
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: redshift on 03 July, 2013, 07:48:03 pm
The 0500 shift, which necessitates an 0330 start, occasionally triggers incompetence in my brain chemistry.  This can result in astonishing dreams - most recently: Sex, death, blood in quantity.  Further details will not be forthcoming.  Roll on Saturday's 0800 shift.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 07 July, 2013, 10:47:01 pm
West Bromwich The Musical.

(Opens July 11th)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 08 July, 2013, 07:49:50 am
Something about zombies.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: delthebike on 28 July, 2013, 04:14:22 pm
Auntie Helen beat me at Scrabble last night! Mainly because I was playing English words and AH was using uberlongGermanwordswithlotsoflettersinthem and extending the board when the word ran over the side!  ::-)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 August, 2013, 02:03:59 pm
Last night (or actually, quite early this morning) I had a very vivid dream involving bears. Lots of bears.

I was in a car with someone, probably Mrs. Wow, and we were driving along a country lane heading for some sort of pub/large house/conference centre type of place. There was a field of sweetcorn on our right and as we looked between the rows there were many bears all swimming away from us - yes, that's right, swimming! I could only see their heads above would would have been soil in a normal field of sweetcorn but they were definitely swimming.

When we arrived at the pub/large house/conference centre there were no bears to be seen. However, it wasn't long before they started turning up and they were clearly of Hostile Intent. They surrounded the pub/large house/conference centre and the longer we were there the more bears turned up.

At some indeterminate point in the dream I discovered that many of the bears were actually folding camping tables who only turned into bears at the moment they were unfolded. This was a very important discovery because there were lots of camping table around the place just waiting to unfold so I immobilised them by the simple expedient of getting a luggage strap and wrapping it tightly around each camping table so that it could not unfold and turn into a bear.

As you might expect, the bears that were no longer camping tables became quite demoralised that their secret was out, and they began to move away, realising that reinforcements were not forthcoming. Eventually there were no more bears and the dream reached a satisfactorily conclusion when I was awoken by Mrs. Wow who sat up abruptly with her usual morning greeting of "I need a wee!" whereupon she made her exit, pursued by as many bears as my imagination could conjure up.

Mr. Larrington is 59.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 August, 2013, 10:17:59 am
Mrs Cudzo and I were browsing in a camping/outdoor shop in a large, old warehouse. It had a kind of balcony, very steep, which was being covered with a matting made of woven palm leaves. Men were standing on this matting and pouring water from watering cans over it to make it slippery - this was to be part of some event later. Then after a bit more browsing an announcer appeared and stood on the balcony, which was now flat, had no matting and was larger, and started calling out names. These people went up to the balcony and were given prizes or awards for something. I realised that in one corner of the balcony, behind the announcer, were stairs leading up to one more floor of the shop, so I started climbing them. They were narrow and metal, with a hand rail on one side and rough stone wall on the other, but they took me to a landing without a railing. I found this scary so went down the stairs again, intending to go up the other side, but as I reached the bottom the announcer called out "Mrs Hilary Clinton" and she appeared from the room I'd been intending to look in. She walked right past me, cameras were flashing but somehow I knew they (the photographers) couldn't see me.

At this point I decided it was time to leave, but I had no idea where my wife was (our son was curiously absent from the whole dream). So I went down to the entrance, which now looked like a theatre foyer, and sent her a text, "This is terribly boring, let's go" (but I texted in Polish). At that point I woke up and realised she had gone in real life - to work, leaving me a cup of tea by the side of the bed, which had gone cold.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 16 August, 2013, 07:55:45 am
Had a weird dream that I was on an epic college field trip - rather than a transit minibus we were on a coach.
The most weird part of the dream that  I was playing a game of catch with my classmates, and for some reason the Queen was also playing - and her dogs were trying to catch the ball too.....   ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: PaulR on 16 August, 2013, 11:36:05 am
I'm beginning to worry.  I've had a second dream in which I am participating in an audax...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: peliroja on 16 August, 2013, 11:45:59 am
I had a dream in which I woke up and discovered that every cupboard in our house was filled with cats and kittens. Extremely cute, fluffy cats. They had not eaten for a while so I found an old salmon steak in a bin and fed it to them in tiny bits. Then my sister arrived and insisted that her fiance should eat the salmon instead, so proceeded to steal it from the cats!

 ???

And I thought we were getting a dog.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Jaded on 21 August, 2013, 12:25:33 pm
That one is obvious. You have to get a kitter!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 21 August, 2013, 01:34:17 pm
I don't remember dreaming last night, but I woke up at ten to three with the strong conviction that Sandor Clegane had broken into my flat. There's no sign of him though.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 22 August, 2013, 09:16:02 am
I fell asleep whilst reading last night, then dreamt I had a head on colision with a mountain bike near Rijswijk, when I woke up I had dropped my Kindle.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 22 August, 2013, 02:20:12 pm
Who else gets that thing where you're in that semi-conscious dream-like state that precedes full-on sleep, but are suddenly jerked back to full awakeness (complete with adrenaline surge) by the uncanny feeling of your imaginary front wheel losing traction?

I've had the falling-over-while-skiing equivalent in the past, too.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: JennyB on 23 August, 2013, 04:50:00 pm
Who else gets that thing where you're in that semi-conscious dream-like state that precedes full-on sleep, but are suddenly jerked back to full awakeness (complete with adrenaline surge) by the uncanny feeling of your imaginary front wheel losing traction?

I've had the falling-over-while-skiing equivalent in the past, too.

I thought most people have experienced that: I know I have quite often. Some say it evolved to stop our ancestors from falling out of the trees.  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 15 September, 2013, 06:56:12 pm
So I took the Northern Line to Switzerland, where I met Woolly & Peli, and we took Tilley for a walk.

Steep hills.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 15 September, 2013, 07:43:00 pm
So I took the Northern Line to Switzerland, where I met Woolly & Peli, and we took Tilley for a walk.

Steep hills.
Did you meet them in a Cottage? I suppose that would mean a Jubilee.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 15 September, 2013, 07:51:34 pm
That did occur to me, but no.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 15 September, 2013, 08:51:01 pm
I was at a smaller Live Aid type event in a venue in Liverpool called Limefields Broadway. It was sort of an indoor market with a stage. Lots of acts were playing and I was fairly near the front, with two friends. I had to go and do something so I said I wouldn't be long and left the venue and walked through Liverpool to find another place which was part of the same venue but somewhere else. I had to find my dad, but when I did, I didn't know why cos we didn't need to tell each other anything. So I walked around the building and found lots of musicians hanging around because they were using the building as a holding pen/green room. I got talking to Tony Hadley and told him I was never really a Spandau fan, I love Wham!, but that he has a much better voice than Simon le Bon. Then I realised I'd been away ages and I had to get back, but I got very lost trying to find my way back, and then Tony Hadley drove past in a limo on his way to the venue and he gave me a lift. My friends hadn't even noticed I'd been gone for ages, and then bobb texted me and I woke up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: JennyB on 17 September, 2013, 09:24:57 am
I'm watching some political speech on the telly (something I never do) and the camera stops on Margaret Thatcher in the audience. I feel it's after her retirement, but she's wearing the blue suit from when she was first PM. It's plain she's bored out of her mind. She has an umbrella with her. It's shaped like a cartoon umbrella, but it's really a giant water pistol, made of blue translucent plastic. I think she's going to drench the speaker, but she still has it pointed down and is pumping away at the handle. All that is coming out are a few strands of stuff like party string. Blue, of course.

Then it evidently starts working as intended, and begins extruding  a long sausage-shaped water balloon, about six inches in diameter, that is slowly filling the aisle.  People pretend not to notice at first, but then Security arrive and start clearing the seats, until there's no one left but her. She has her head in her hands, and I don't know if she's laughing or crying.  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 18 September, 2013, 09:31:10 am
I was standing outside a very small park with black railings around it. I opened the gate and went in, only gravel and some slides or swings were there though outside grew one of those flowering trees you see in India. Opposite the park was a tall, stone-fronted, Victorian house, definitely not Indian, where lived someone called Bernstein. I knew this because a reporter appeared and asked through the window if they pronounced their name "Bernshteen" like the composer had, apparently, insisted.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: peliroja on 18 September, 2013, 09:32:54 am
Apparently for the past two nights I've said, "Good girl!" while fast asleep. I blame the puppy training.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: CrinklyLion on 29 September, 2013, 09:57:53 am
(for context: last week I actually did go to school and voluntarily teach on the Monday, on m'day off.  There was indeed a technical disaster due to the new domain installation and having security policy set such that flash didn't work for everyone other than the admin user and given that I wasn't in a position to go mess about with group policy on the server meant on the hoof replanning and teaching logo not scratch.)

Last night I dreamed the whole of the lesson that I will be teaching first thing on Monday on m'day off.  It was grim, due to a series of catastrophic technical problems starting with the interactive whiteboard having been moved a foot to the left and therefore the projector pointing at the wrong place, going via the amp having been removed and the computer running the board having been swapped for the 8 year old laptop that one of the PPA teachers uses and various other alarmingly possible scenarios and culminating in the scratch website not being there any more.  There were also a number of observers in the lesson although I think that they were trainees not Ofsod.

On the bright side I did then tell the head teacher in no uncertain terms what I thought about it when he stuck his head round the door, which was quite therapeutic.  And the kids behaved.

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 October, 2013, 02:39:09 pm
This is the worst dream I have ever had, worse than when I dreamed I died, worse than when I dreamed bobb dumped me. Last night I dreamed
(click to show/hide)
I feel soiled.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: tiermat on 29 October, 2013, 03:02:04 pm
This is the worst dream I have ever had, worse than when I dreamed I died, worse than when I dreamed bobb dumped me. Last night I dreamed
(click to show/hide)
I feel soiled.

I feel unclean just reading that...

YUCK!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 29 October, 2013, 03:16:55 pm
Just to bring us away from that horrible image, I could add that, a couple of nights ago, I dreamed that the baby had cut his first tooth.  He hasn't.

Last night, I dreamed that a friend had bought an old rangefinder camera called a 'Lyka'.  I discovered it was made by Olympus just after the second world war, and they had been forced to stop after Leica got themselves back up straight and sued.

Olympus didn't make any rangefinders for many years after the war.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 08 November, 2013, 02:09:38 pm
Last nights involved defecation and an explosion of toilet paper ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 08 November, 2013, 02:15:00 pm
Last night, I was hillwalking with the Little Duck, but he wasn't little, being roughly the current size (if not quite the hairiness) of TGL.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Butterfly on 08 November, 2013, 02:21:31 pm
Last night, I was hillwalking with the Little Duck, but he wasn't little, being roughly the current size (if not quite the hairiness) of TGL.

Was he still in the back pack?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 08 November, 2013, 02:38:20 pm
Hell, no! :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 08 November, 2013, 07:24:27 pm
I had a rather strange dream the other night.

I was on Burntisland beach (which is strange enough in itself), and I was watching a Whooper Swan (or was it a Bewick's?) fighting a polar bear and its cub, which was actually a grey seal..   ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ham on 08 November, 2013, 07:27:14 pm
Was there a cat involved? I had a cat that miaowed "Please can I go outside?" It was a very polite cat, and it got on very well with the mouse, who clearly didn't talk, because everyone knows mice can't talk. I don't know what happened to it once I let it out, it might have wandered your way.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Biff on 08 November, 2013, 07:35:41 pm
Last night the government flew in a dental specialist to tell me they weren't prepared to pay the half a million pounds it would cost to fix my teeth. Anyone got a bag of treacle toffees?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 28 December, 2013, 08:44:00 am
Stumbling upon "Ghostwatch" (the infamous BBC1 Mockumentary) on youtube yesterday resulted in me having a scary bad dream last night involving Micheal Parkinson becoming possessed by Mr Pipes   :'( :-\ :hand:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: peliroja on 28 December, 2013, 01:33:10 pm
The other night I dreamt I bought a student flat in St Andrews, with students included, for the sole reason that it had a long, narrow swimming pool running down the hallway and the dog needed hydrotherapy. The flat didn't have a back door and the students were pestering me about this. Most unreasonable of them. 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 January, 2014, 03:13:24 pm
Last night I dreamt I was in a large library somewhere in Russia, where all the books dated from Tsarist times and for some reason were written in Old Church Slavonic. On a bottom shelf were two large tomes with crumbling leather binding. Although I can't read OCS I somehow knew that, despite their age, these books were about nuclear radiation.  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 January, 2014, 03:15:47 pm
Mrs Cudzo also had a disturbing dream - that she was in the forest surrounding the place she grew up and found a new village, which for some reason was surrounded by dead dogs.

Perhaps weird dreams are contagious? Or did we both eat the wrong sort of cheese? Little Cudzo said he had a funny (as in good) dream - he doesn't like cheese.  ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 07 January, 2014, 10:18:22 am
Last night, I dreamed that I was working with EldestCub (who was about eighteen) on a design for a new domino-style game.  Younger Cub was there, too, but he was very young.  We were staying in an old farmhouse somewhere up North.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 09 January, 2014, 01:54:03 pm
Last night I dreamed that I was working with clarion to make the central heating work in a building that was almost but not quite the hall of residence I lived in at Brizzle.

What I'd presumed to be a flood behind a locked door (on account of freezing cold squishy carpet) turned out to be contractors botchily moving the boiler in order to treat the wall for mould.  They'd plumbed it back in at a ludicrous angle with no slack on the pipes, and forgotten to install a filler loop.  The boiler wasn't working due to lack of system pressure.  I woke up shortly after we'd determined that the header tank (yes, I know), while working correctly, wasn't producing enough pressure to satisfy the boiler, and were debating whether it was worth bypassing the low pressure interlock, or fessing up to the warden and accepting the fine[1].


From this I conclude it's nearly Winter Hostelling season.   :)


[1] At the time it was standard practice that students in halls were fined from their deposit for all sorts of frivolous reasons, usually involving physical proximity when damage was discovered.  Nobody protested particularly hard, on account of the risk of being evicted to Shite Bunker.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 10 January, 2014, 10:04:05 am
[1] At the time it was standard practice that students in halls were fined from their deposit for all sorts of frivolous reasons, usually involving physical proximity when damage was discovered.  Nobody protested particularly hard, on account of the risk of being evicted to Shite Bunker.
HB? That always seemed to have buildings at least that were in better condition than the other halls. Bit of a soulless mazy maze, granted.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 10 January, 2014, 10:24:51 am
A waking dream (a flash of scary weirdness after riding through the flood and then ascending Quarry Wood Road this morning).

Imagine THAT awards ceremony scene starring Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke engaging in a bit of twerking.

Replace Miley and Robin with supervisor and his best buddy (supervisor as Ms Cyrus), bot attired as per the ceremony.

Neither my supervisor or his best buddy are svelt or athletic. In fact, supervisor is an overweight rugby player whilst best buddy is a fat slob.

It made me feel  :sick:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 10 January, 2014, 11:23:34 am
And you'll never look at them without thinking of twerking again!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 10 January, 2014, 11:30:55 am
In fact, you have no way of knowing whether, in fact, they have reconstructed this very scene in the privacy of their own rooms.  And now you have a nagging suspicion that they might have.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 10 January, 2014, 11:39:13 am
The Supervisor is affectionatly know amongst us as The Gimp.......
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 10 January, 2014, 03:15:05 pm
[1] At the time it was standard practice that students in halls were fined from their deposit for all sorts of frivolous reasons, usually involving physical proximity when damage was discovered.  Nobody protested particularly hard, on account of the risk of being evicted to Shite Bunker.
HB? That always seemed to have buildings at least that were in better condition than the other halls. Bit of a soulless mazy maze, granted.

That's the one.  My main experience of the Bunker was via a group of Aero Engineers who, being male, had the misfortune to end up on the rugball bloke corridor.  Notable features were the persistent smell of cannabis; holes in the wall (some patched with newspaper and tippex in an attempt to retain deposit by previous occupants); a leaky roof; circuit breakers that would trip and remain un-resettable until someone with the relevant keys and authority came on duty on Monday mornings; 2am shopping trolley racing and Hi-Fi competitions; flooding; a bombsite of a kitchen and a biohazardous shared bathroom.  Tentacle soup and Pot Noodle were regularly served at mealtimes.  I was particularly impressed by what appeared to be the charred remains of a smoke detector on the ceiling outside one of my friend's rooms.

Form what I saw of the other blocks, theirs was in particularly poor condition, though the leaky roof and inadequate cooking facilities were universal.

I was in the relatively newly built Durdam Hall (with good kitchens and en-suite bathrooms), slightly up the hill.  The Aeros would regularly visit to borrow our cooking and telly-watching facilities in exchange for CAKE.  The irony was that due to being self-catered, I paid less rent, and got to use the room (admittedly for storing a lot of Bunkerites' stuff) during holidays.

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 10 January, 2014, 03:22:43 pm
Most of the accommodation blocks of my first University have been demolished (Sorby, Earnshaw, Tapton, Ranmoor (I think), Victoria House (where I lived)...).  I believe the venerable old Stephenson and Halifax Halls remain, along with Crewe (where my dad lived).
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 10 January, 2014, 03:39:24 pm
Fairly sure Ranmoor was still there when we were there.  Suspect it may have needed demolishing.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 10 January, 2014, 03:43:03 pm
Some may have said it should have been demolished with the residents in situ.  In an unkind moment, that is.

Yeah, Wikipedia confirms it has been demolished, but Ranmoor House remains.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: BrianI on 12 January, 2014, 08:06:40 am
The other night I dreamt that I completed Jet Set Willy without losing a single life!  :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 24 January, 2014, 12:43:04 pm
Last night I dreamt about Fuzzy and his wife, who had come to the bike shop I was working in, to upgrade/service Fuzzy's bike, so that his daughter could ride it. The bike was strapped to the side of their big American 4x4 monster truck, even though there was plenty of room on the flat bed. Fuzzy didn't want to come into the bike shop, so I grabbed the bike and his wife came with me into the shop. Where I noticed that Fuzzy had done some DIY upgrades to the bike mainly using a 1" thick chain, right out of the industrial Victorian times, and had removed with an angle grinder every second tooth to make room for the chain. The rear cassette had only to rings, made in the same style, I didn't have time to look at how he had managed to get that chain into the XT dérailleur. Before something caught my eye out of the shops rear windows, we were being over taken by cyclists who were partaking in a track race. So that explained why Fuzzy had to be outside in the car, so that he could hold the truck in place onto the shop as we did laps on the bicycle track while the race was on.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 January, 2014, 01:08:41 pm
[1] At the time it was standard practice that students in halls were fined from their deposit for all sorts of frivolous reasons, usually involving physical proximity when damage was discovered.  Nobody protested particularly hard, on account of the risk of being evicted to Shite Bunker.
HB? That always seemed to have buildings at least that were in better condition than the other halls. Bit of a soulless mazy maze, granted.

That's the one.  My main experience of the Bunker was via a group of Aero Engineers who, being male, had the misfortune to end up on the rugball bloke corridor.  Notable features were the persistent smell of cannabis; holes in the wall (some patched with newspaper and tippex in an attempt to retain deposit by previous occupants); a leaky roof; circuit breakers that would trip and remain un-resettable until someone with the relevant keys and authority came on duty on Monday mornings; 2am shopping trolley racing and Hi-Fi competitions; flooding; a bombsite of a kitchen and a biohazardous shared bathroom.  Tentacle soup and Pot Noodle were regularly served at mealtimes.  I was particularly impressed by what appeared to be the charred remains of a smoke detector on the ceiling outside one of my friend's rooms.

Form what I saw of the other blocks, theirs was in particularly poor condition, though the leaky roof and inadequate cooking facilities were universal.

I was in the relatively newly built Durdam Hall (with good kitchens and en-suite bathrooms), slightly up the hill.  The Aeros would regularly visit to borrow our cooking and telly-watching facilities in exchange for CAKE.  The irony was that due to being self-catered, I paid less rent, and got to use the room (admittedly for storing a lot of Bunkerites' stuff) during holidays.
I think Durdham Hall hadn't yet been built when I was there, but there was self-catering just up from HB in a set of blocks called, IIRC, University Close. I can't actually remember the name of the place I was in - it was the yellowish concrete building blocks on the left of HB as you look down the hill - but I do remember I was in Unit 6 of said hall.  :facepalm: Four floors, boys at the bottom, girls at the top - it was suggested this was because boys couldn't be trusted with such heights not to throw things/each other out of the windows. Anyway, the top floor had no showers (but did have baths) because water pressure, so the girls used to come down into our floor for a shower...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 January, 2014, 01:10:08 pm
My recent dream: Someone had a small cardboard box, from which he took four green snakes. He said they were pythons. Each was a different shape, long, short, thin, fat. One of the big ones ate one of the short, fat ones. Odd.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 24 January, 2014, 02:16:14 pm
I think Durdham Hall hadn't yet been built when I was there, but there was self-catering just up from HB in a set of blocks called, IIRC, University Close. I can't actually remember the name of the place I was in - it was the yellowish concrete building blocks on the left of HB as you look down the hill - but I do remember I was in Unit 6 of said hall.  :facepalm:

The forgettably named "University Hall".


Quote
Four floors, boys at the bottom, girls at the top - it was suggested this was because boys couldn't be trusted with such heights not to throw things/each other out of the windows. Anyway, the top floor had no showers (but did have baths) because water pressure, so the girls used to come down into our floor for a shower...

It was university policy not to put female students on the ground floor (except facing enclosed courtyards, as with Durdham), because rapists.

In the interests of equal opportunities, male students had the opportunity to get raped on the trek across the downs, if they ventured too close to the water tower.  (A notorious cottaging ground.)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 24 January, 2014, 08:27:07 pm
They have street lighting there now, but not on Ladies Mile, which seems to be a popular urban dogging area. The 60mph speed limit's gone too.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 25 January, 2014, 12:50:08 am
I really don't get this whole "rapists are allergic to streetlights" thing.  I suspect a whole generation of NUS women's officers read too many Anne Rice novels or something.  Not that streetlighting isn't a good thing, just that there are other women's issues too (though you wouldn't know it from the campaigning material when I was at Kent).
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 January, 2014, 12:37:24 pm
I really don't get this whole "rapists are allergic to streetlights" thing.  I suspect a whole generation of NUS women's officers read too many Anne Rice novels or something.  Not that streetlighting isn't a good thing, just that there are other women's issues too (though you wouldn't know it from the campaigning material when I was at Kent).
It was (apparently) (as you already said) more men than women who were raped crossing the Downs. I don't know that the streetlights were put in specifically as an anti-rape or crime-reduction measure. It was sometimes quite spooky walking over there in the pitch dark. OTOH the lighting makes it even more like just a park, rather than the common grazing land it technically is.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruth on 27 January, 2014, 05:06:33 pm
I had an awful dream last night involving a date with a tall sexy man that ended up with me having copious watery diarrhoea in a public place with him watching in horror.

You know that bit in Prince Caspian with the island where dreams come true? Don't wanna go there.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 28 January, 2014, 12:23:54 am
Did I mention the one in which I discovered that George Lucas had released another - even more butchered - special edition of A New Hope?  I managed to forget many of the salient plot points after waking up, but I do remember it being set on Earth (possibly North Africa in the mid 19th century?) with Darth Vader as a good guy and steampunk slapstick camp robot shenanigans.  Indiana Jones may also have featured, though I suspect that was just wishful thinking...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruth on 28 January, 2014, 02:34:18 am
Did I mention the one in which I discovered that George Lucas had released another - even more butchered - special edition of A New Hope?  I managed to forget many of the salient plot points after waking up, but I do remember it being set on Earth (possibly North Africa in the mid 19th century?) with Darth Vader as a good guy and steampunk slapstick camp robot shenanigans.  Indiana Jones may also have featured, though I suspect that was just wishful thinking...

Bloody hell Kim. I'm not sure which of us is having the worst nightmares!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 28 January, 2014, 12:37:29 pm
Did I mention the one in which I discovered that George Lucas had released another - even more butchered - special edition of A New Hope?  I managed to forget many of the salient plot points after waking up, but I do remember it being set on Earth (possibly North Africa in the mid 19th century?) with Darth Vader as a good guy and steampunk slapstick camp robot shenanigans.  Indiana Jones may also have featured, though I suspect that was just wishful thinking...

Bloody hell Kim. I'm not sure which of us is having the worst nightmares!

Oh I don't know- sounds like Monty Python and A New Hope to me. I'd pay to watch that :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 28 January, 2014, 12:46:12 pm
Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 28 January, 2014, 12:49:07 pm
Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Galaxy Quest? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0177789/)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: tiermat on 28 January, 2014, 12:50:36 pm
Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Arrrrgh! NO! nononono, there is so so much wrong with that film, I don't know where to start*

*OK, having Rick Moranis in it is a good place to start, then the really really bad puns on character names.  Come on, "Dark Helmet" "Yoghurt" etc etc...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 28 January, 2014, 01:47:18 pm
Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Galaxy Quest? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0177789/)

Is a Star Trek satire.  If you can't tell the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars, then you're fully qualified to write geek characters for mainstream comedy, I suppose.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 28 January, 2014, 01:51:25 pm
Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Arrrrgh! NO! nononono, there is so so much wrong with that film, I don't know where to start*

*OK, having Rick Moranis in it is a good place to start, then the really really bad puns on character names.  Come on, "Dark Helmet" "Yoghurt" etc etc...

It's Mel Brooks doing what Mel Brooks does best.  I have plenty of issues with Blazing Saddles, too, but it's a certain type of humour flawlessly executed.

And let's be realistic here: Spaceballs is a far better film than The Phantom Menace.   :hand:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 January, 2014, 01:52:41 pm
Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Arrrrgh! NO! nononono, there is so so much wrong with that film, I don't know where to start*

*OK, having Rick Moranis in it is a good place to start, then the really really bad puns on character names.  Come on, "Dark Helmet" "Yoghurt" etc etc...
As if the original Star Wars character names are not themselves really bad puns!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: tiermat on 28 January, 2014, 02:04:18 pm
Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Arrrrgh! NO! nononono, there is so so much wrong with that film, I don't know where to start*

*OK, having Rick Moranis in it is a good place to start, then the really really bad puns on character names.  Come on, "Dark Helmet" "Yoghurt" etc etc...

It's Mel Brooks doing what Mel Brooks does best.  I have plenty of issues with Blazing Saddles, too, but it's a certain type of humour flawlessly executed.

And let's be realistic here: Spaceballs is a far better film than The Phantom Menace.   :hand:

Lesbian Vampires from Outer Space* is better than The Phantom Menace.

*Yes, it is a real film, no I have no idea where to get a copy from and yes, I am still traumatised from watching it (due to the absolute naffness of it, it wasn't even naff enough to be good**, it was just naff)

**Unlike Repoman which is so naff it is not only good, it deservedly has earned the title of cult.

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 28 January, 2014, 03:19:09 pm
Spaceballs: The Movie is all the Star Wars satire we need.

Galaxy Quest? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0177789/)

Is a Star Trek satire.  If you can't tell the difference between Star Trek and Star Wars, then you're fully qualified to write geek characters for mainstream comedy, I suppose.

My Bad- I should have read the Star Wars satire instead of assuming Sci Fi satire.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 28 January, 2014, 06:58:16 pm
Not mine, but No2Son's. I was just asking him if the dehumidifier was a kind of white noise helping him sleep (it's right outside his bedroom door) or invading his dreams when he told me he dreamt I woke him up to go to the toilet, but it was all ok because the dehumidifier was in his bed.
:facepalm:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 06 March, 2014, 08:02:58 am
We had dinner with Jimi Hendrix.  He explained he had given up music totally, and was not going to write any more novels now, as he was tired of fame.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruth on 06 March, 2014, 01:21:54 pm
I had skin cancer, and one of the plastic surgeons offered to whip all my melanomas off in the lunch break, only it turned out it'd spread and I only had weeks to live.

I woke up and thought, 'I hope my dressings have stayed on in the night, and I'll need to let the kids know', and then realised it was a dream  ::-)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 10 March, 2014, 03:19:41 pm
Former bike patrol crewmate Jenks and I were doing close security at a transfer or art treasures (Suit, tie, black overcoats, black leather gloves, wiggly earpieces, mirror shades- you know the drill). Many priceless painting were being moved from a gallery in London, each packed in their individual beaten aluminium security cases (James Bond Q Division stylee).

The next thing I know, Jenks has swifted two of the cases away and stashed them in the boot of our getaway car. Cue a chase through the streets of London with me driving like Jason 'Transporter' Statham and giving the Met the slip before grabbing a case each and legging it through gardens and parks and tube stations with various helicopters and dogs and armed units in hot pursuit.

We manage to avoid The Filth and take to our warehouse bolt hole for a beer and a kip.

I wake up the next morning to find Jenks and one painting gone but I seem to be expecting this. I grab my painting and exit the warehouse to find that I have walked out of the front door of a Gite in France and onto the platform of a railway station ???

I wander around for a bit, looking at my mobile phone, wanting to call Jenks as arranged but knowing that, cos it is a job phone, as soon as I  make the call I'm done for. Meanwhile the phone is beeping and burping and making really odd noises. I decide to dump the phone and walk to the nearest village to steal a car. I walk for about 20 minutes and find myself on the Britwell Estate in Slough.

My mobile phone has magically appeared in my pocket again and starts to go off at which point I realise the alarm is telling me it is time to get up.....
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 10 March, 2014, 04:52:48 pm
Last night: Don't know what Peli was dreaming, but who ever it was she was dreaming about was getting a stern telling off by the look of her wagging finger :)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 24 March, 2014, 01:37:11 pm
Took some codeine for the knee last night, and had an epic dream with a Jonathan-Creek-esque plot involving a disappearing train, a suspicious rabbit, compressed air and artful timing.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Juan Martín on 18 April, 2014, 06:28:23 pm
Last night I found that I had been selected to represent the school in some form of liaison role with the headmaster. The HM, who was Ludovic Kennedy took me out to lunch and was a very nice chap. As you might expect.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 18 April, 2014, 06:48:13 pm
I was telling a customer in my dream that if he had 3 grand + to spare wanted a good MTB he should look at brands like CUBE, PACE, Principia or Clare Balding mountain bikes.

That was so bizarre that I woke myself up going WTF!!!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 21 April, 2014, 01:05:42 am
A few nights ago I was subject to a harrowing dream in which I was involved in a Russian/Ukrainian uprising. Found myself in a landlocked shipyard where a ship had been half finished then turned into an office building by surrounding it with breeze block walls up to around the waterline and beyond. The portholes had been replaced with large picture windows . . .

I'm not sure what my part was but at some stage I was definitely holding a movie camera, following this guy from the FSB/KGB who was going around killing people, crowds of people, using a sound generator like a walkie-talkie. He had earplugs in and slayed the congregation of a church at the touch of a button. People screamed and held their heads before dropping dead.

Woke about 4 or 5 in the morning wringing wet and totally failed to go back to sleep. Suggestions?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 21 April, 2014, 07:50:59 am
Don't watch the late night news programmes and as Jonathan Ross would say "Don't have nightmares, do sleep well"?

My last such dream was a trip to London.  The whole place was decaying and when, on foot, I tried to cross the road it was impossible because of all the red light jumping vehicles, all of which looked likes American cars of the 50s and 60s. 

As I was walking along, on the other side of the Thames I could see this huge building the size of Battersea Power station engulfed in white smoke against a backdrop of dark clouds.  No one seemed to notice but I thought it looked rather good and  started to take a photograph.  Suddenly everyone else started doing the same.  There was an explosion, the whole thing collapsed and there was massive sheet of flame sent into the sky.  Soon the pavement turned to a marshy track and either side there stacks of corpses wrapped in shrouds and rotting into a creek.

The Ukraine business is pretty worrying.  My cold war warrior cousin wrote me an email 3 or 4 weeks ago containing correspondence between him and a Belgian journalist.  A conversation it contained with the journalist contained an incidental exchange that made it clear they expected a major escalation. My cousin's son is a fluent Russian speaker with many business associates in Russia.  I wonder what they think now but I am not sure I'd like the answer.. 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 24 April, 2014, 11:02:51 pm
I spend quite a bit of time asleep in a chair. Just now was no exception. I was having a dream in which I was playing table tennis. I have no idea why - I used to play a bit of table tennis in the early 1970s when I was at college, but I don't remember playing since.

I woke myself up when I executed an enormous smash. Luckily my right hand was already resting on my desk otherwise I think I would have broken some bones.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 04 June, 2014, 11:16:33 pm
Peli fell asleep next to me while I was reading. I let slip a bit of wind, no thunder clap just a little rumble. Peli sat up and went "where is the train?" Now, what she was dreaming about, I never figured out because as soon I assured her that there was no train, she was fast counting sheep. Until I farted again and she was train spotting again :-)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 11 June, 2014, 10:56:55 am
Mr Arch, recycling smoke alarms.

Then I woke up and discovered it was doing its mysterious battery error thing again.  :(
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Gattopardo on 11 June, 2014, 10:58:21 am
Peli fell asleep next to me while I was reading. I let slip a bit of wind, no thunder clap just a little rumble. Peli sat up and went "where is the train?" Now, what she was dreaming about, I never figured out because as soon I assured her that there was no train, she was fast counting sheep. Until I farted again and she was train spotting again :-)

chuffs sounding like chuff chuff.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Riggers on 14 July, 2014, 10:38:37 am
Decided I needed to clean my teeth, so pulled them all out and discovered something – they are all individually connected by chains to a necklace. I was then worried I wouldn't be able to get them back in my mouth, and must phone the dentist.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 July, 2014, 10:52:17 am
Would your pipe slip out of your mouth with no teeth?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Riggers on 14 July, 2014, 11:05:41 am
Wasn't thinking about m'pipe at the time.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Canardly on 24 July, 2014, 10:19:47 pm
Very Freudian. All my favourite YACF peeps camping at ours. Unfortunately 'ours' was a mythological  property owned by the family with insufficent beds that I personally hated and was just a tad afraid of. So there.....very odd. :-\
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 05 August, 2014, 08:33:13 am
Two recently.

1. I had entered a time trial. I don't know the distance or where it was being held, but I'd been allotted number 2 and was trying to pin the number on my jersey. It had been sized nicely to match a jersey pocket but it was difficult, on account of it being behind myself, obvs. Dozens of other riders were hanging round at the start, which was like an audax control - a village hall full of relaxed cyclists drinking tea, eating beans on toast and cake. The tt never actually began.

2. I was on holiday in Cuba. I went down to the beach with a huge crowd, where a Party official was exhorting us to wade to the equator and occupy Algerian waters in the name of "the Blessed Virgin Mary of the Mules".
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Tim Hall on 05 August, 2014, 11:45:08 pm
Last week sometime:

I met a bloke who said he was Mr. Larrington. For a while I believed him, but worked out it was not he, as this one was only 5'6", whilst the real Mr. Larrington is a tall person. However I carried on a conversation with him, congratulating him on his return to posting regularly. We were working in the same office, and I couldn't get my radio to work, so I couldn't get Radio 4. He, fortunately, had a bog old television, so we jibbled with that.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 06 August, 2014, 12:58:18 pm
More of a nightmare really.  It was fine sunny day and I was out on my fastest steed.

Turned a corner to see a long steep hill ahead, about 7% and 1km before it disappeared around the next bend.  500m ahead was what looked like a woman in a red top, riding a shopper bike with a child seat on the back.  Oh well, I thought, make it a bit of a challenge, should easily catch her up before she reaches the 'top'.  But no, it was like that feeling when you try to run but nothing happens and the after the bend the hill just went on and on and the 'cyclist' was now out of sight.  Eventually in the distance I saw traffic lights ahead and waiting for the green was my adversary.  At last, i thought, am going to see what sort of cyclist can ride a utility bike that fast up a hill.  Again thwarted; the lights changed and the red cyclist sped off never to be seen again :o my confidence received a severe blow :-[

What's worse, this actually happened, yesterday.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 06 August, 2014, 02:09:10 pm
Last week sometime:

I met a bloke who said he was Mr. Larrington. For a while I believed him, but worked out it was not he, as this one was only 5'6", whilst the real Mr. Larrington is a tall person. However I carried on a conversation with him, congratulating him on his return to posting regularly. We were working in the same office, and I couldn't get my radio to work, so I couldn't get Radio 4. He, fortunately, had a bog old television, so we jibbled with that.

I seem to have been appearing in a fair few dreams since I first entered the Gulag.  In future all such business should be conducted through my agent.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 06 August, 2014, 04:43:08 pm
Don't you have to join Equity?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 08 August, 2014, 07:45:11 am
Last night I was getting married. I was with some friends getting ready - I had a long purple silk dress but decided to save that for the evening and wear a purple skirt suit instead. My flowers were weird. All the guests set off walking, me with them, to a sort of canteen place with trestle tables, where we were having the wedding meal before the ceremony. The waiter brought the starters round - burgers, filled bagels, or baked potato with posh cheese. I had the baked potato. I couldn't understand why most of the guests were there - they were people I hardly know and wouldn't have invited, ex-colleagues who retired years ago, etc. I was sitting at one table with some of the female guests, and my husband-to-be was at another table at the other side of the room. My family weren't there.

And the worst bit? I was marrying Alec Salmond.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: delthebike on 08 August, 2014, 08:01:33 am
And the worst bit? I was marrying Alec Salmond.
Should have said no!  ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Riggers on 15 August, 2014, 10:16:38 am
Help! Woke myself up this morning as I couldn't cope with this one:

Friends and I were driving/meandering our way up some Bristol streets and saw, on our left, some chaps fighting. Do we stop? Do we intervene? Do we drive on? One then hit the other, he reeled back, and the other chap then speared him with a short scaffolding pole and pulled it out. The other chap retaliated by spearing him with a scaffolding pole, coming out the other side.

The dream did not resolve itself. Had to wake myself up. Horrible.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Riggers on 21 August, 2014, 08:55:16 am
Decided to run on a downslope off the cliff and fly down across the harbour (as you do) with the sun glinting on the water, and come to a safe landing near the harbour wall. Yes, I got my legs wet in the shallow water, but I finished in the telemark position, thank you!

Then tried various fishing boat owners, but eventually found a skipper who'd take me out to sea for £36 to do some fishing.

Ah, nice dream.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: nikki on 21 August, 2014, 09:41:33 am
Something about having to drive to Cardiff to collect a forgotten ukulele, whilst a mistakenly-ordered candle in the shape of an Arduino slowly blinked LEDs and dribbled wax a bit.

I think this residency might be getting to me...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 21 August, 2014, 09:53:13 am
Tues night
We were living in a house much larger than our current one, with a dilapidated large shed, more of a barn. Behind the houses along the entire street were huge totally overgrown gardens. In these was a leopard. I was worried it would eat our cat, so I started feeding the leopard on tins of catfood and making friends with it.

Wed night
I was on a spaceship which did a nearly-crash landing on a planet due to a drive control malfunction. We then had trouble getting the drive started again, because the drive power initiator (which was a baked potato) was out of energy. I was recharging it by pedal-powered dynamo.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 21 August, 2014, 10:10:31 am
Most people would have shot the leopard with a magic dream gun.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 21 August, 2014, 11:40:52 am
I dreamt that our house in the UK had been trashed* by the tenants and that the management company weren't prepared to help sort it out.
Oh no, wait. That wasn't a dream. It was me waking up in the middle of the night, worrying about reality.

* Trashed is an exaggeration, but we will need to do a lot of work before we can move back in.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 21 August, 2014, 02:45:55 pm
Most people would have shot the leopard with a magic dream gun.

Or just filed it with the planning applications...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 21 August, 2014, 04:37:27 pm
In a reprise of the dream I had on my first night in the Gulag, some unprincipled swine gave me a bottle of Scotch.  This time they'd decanted it into something more like a vase than a glass, rather than just handing me the bottle, so I had to drink it >:(
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 21 August, 2014, 04:43:03 pm
Most people would have shot the leopard with a magic dream gun.
In my dreamscapes, it would have been more likely for me to have fed the leopard on people. Or taught it to ride a bicycle.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fred the great on 21 August, 2014, 05:34:52 pm
Could be just the Marmite working :D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Riggers on 22 August, 2014, 08:52:56 am
It wasn't 'weird' that the gathered friends said they were: "So jealous of us", getting the large house, and I pointed out, "Anyone can hire it", and it sleeps 10 people, but the fact that … I'm then transported on my way to the house in a replica 1960s purple liveried train that just manages to squeeze through the doorway of an aluminium-framed greenhouse. The train then terminates at some rough ground, where we're informed we have to make our way to another train station across, what is best described as, a quarry with all manner of cranes and lorries working.


Hhhmmm.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 August, 2014, 09:14:15 am
Would the git who dismantled all my electronic Stuffs and strewed them around a crowded dormitory please gather the bits and put them back together?  Why I was carrying all these Stuffs on PBP is just one of dreamlife's little mysteries.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 23 August, 2014, 01:41:58 am
To the lady forummer who magically transported herself back to my 1970s college common room whilst wearing blue and white frilly seersucker hotpants with matching halter top, I can honestly say that in real life you have much better fashion sense.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 23 August, 2014, 11:02:37 am
Most people would have shot the leopard with a magic dream gun.

Or just filed it with the planning applications...

I read that to Mrs.Wow. She looked at me blankly for about 10 seconds and then started rolling about.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 29 August, 2014, 04:58:30 pm
She looked at me blankly for about 10 seconds and then started rolling about.
My cat does that a lot.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: perpetual dan on 03 September, 2014, 09:01:32 am
I had a dream last night where I was in a poly relationship with two others of this parish. Disappointingly, no hanky panky. No, I'm not saying who it was but they're not a couple in real life!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: levitator on 03 September, 2014, 06:36:09 pm
I suppose, people who do a lot of cycling tend to get dreams about cycling.  Funny thing, in my dreams about cycling I never seem to get tired, nor to get the 'bonk' going uphills.  If only that were so in real life!  :(

A really weird one, a few nights ago, I was cycling along the main road near where I live and suddenly a sinkhole - you know one of those real biggy Guatemala jobbies - appears right in front of me.  And I do an Evil Kneivel leap straight across the sinkhole (like the bus in the movie Speed).  Then the dream continues with me frantically trying to flag down oncoming traffic.  And me tugging at my mobile to try and call the cops, but my phone doesn't work.  Then I woke up.....

I felt the need to go round and check, just in case.  No more than the usual rash of potholes...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 03 September, 2014, 08:54:30 pm
I had a dream the other night that featured baby vomit.

This was notable because it's the first time I've ever remembered a dream involving a smell.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Andrij on 03 September, 2014, 09:34:10 pm
I had a dream the other night that featured baby vomit.

This was notable because it's the first time I've ever remembered a dream involving a smell.

Was any cheese involved earlier that evening?  If so, what sort? (so it can be avoided)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 03 September, 2014, 09:37:57 pm
I had a dream the other night that featured baby vomit.

This was notable because it's the first time I've ever remembered a dream involving a smell.

Was any cheese involved earlier that evening?  If so, what sort? (so it can be avoided)

No, but I was sharing a small tent with a pair of 3-day-old Sealskinz socks...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Andrij on 03 September, 2014, 09:52:25 pm
Sealskinz, at this time of year?!  It's still sandal weather, even on night rides!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 03 September, 2014, 10:20:39 pm
Sealskinz, at this time of year?!  It's still sandal weather, even on night rides!

a) Sandals for riding, but Sealskinz are handy all year round for wet grass on campsites.  I think they got smelly from exposure to the sandals on the outside, rather than from feet on the inside.

b) Wales.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Andrij on 03 September, 2014, 10:30:17 pm
b) Wales.

'nuf sed.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 05 October, 2014, 07:46:26 am
I was waiting to have an operation and the nurse wanted to remove my pubic hair...
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruthie on 25 October, 2014, 08:52:04 am
I was in Charlotte and Julian's back garden.  Their pet cow blew all the foam off their garden water feature before having a good drink out of it.  They had a dog with one eye in the middle of its head, like an English bull terrier, that was running round the garden.  And they had another dog, like a shaggy jack russell, with only three legs.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 08 November, 2014, 03:21:37 pm
Last night dream was a really good action dream. Small aliens (out of Aliens) the size of a cocker spaniel, that laid eggs inside living cows with the side open. They attacked in packs like wolves. You could train dogs with rabies to be look outs for the aliens. Three blows by a whistle and the dogs relaxed and you go and feed/pet them. Three other blows with the whistle and they were back into attack/guard mode. Guns, C4, home made bows and arrows, zombie style axes, trap doors with spikes were used in the fight against these xenomorphs. Could be a great movie, in the style of 28 days later/48 hours later. Sadly I woke up and had to go to the toilet mid dream. When I got back to bed, my stomach was making noises like when the alien - chestburster - was just about to pop out of a human in the movie(s).
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 09 November, 2014, 05:05:12 pm
Ruthie - You need to take more water with it.
Woolly - Whatever your drinking I'll have a bottle!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 09 November, 2014, 05:12:41 pm
Woolly - Whatever your drinking I'll have a bottle!
If I remember I'll bring one of my moonshinehomebrewed IPAs the next time we meet.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 28 December, 2014, 07:06:34 pm
I dreamt I was at the arrivee of an audax that I'd just completed (a rarity these days) with Mr Smith and LittleWheelsAndBig. It was a pub :thumbsup: LW&B was explaining, in his inimitable style, to a group of n00b riders from t'North that they had completely messed up their ride plan, and were now irrevocably out of time.
As we were packing our bikes in to cars,  LW&B said how sorry he was that he'd had to cheer me up on the ride - I am not really enjoying my riding much at the moment. He went on to say that when he felt like that...

And then my alarm went off. I was on the verge of an enormous breakthrough, a really useful revelation and it was taken away by the alarm. I was quite put out.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 13 January, 2015, 01:18:35 pm
Almost but not quite predicted by this post (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=10706.msg1794874#msg1794874), this one featured (amongst more sensible things) Julian OTP using git (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Git_(software)) to develop new sandwich fillings.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 13 January, 2015, 07:44:48 pm
A few days, or rather nights, ago. I was riding up a steep, narrow country lane with a group of other cyclists and, strangely, walkers. The very narrowest part of the lane was the top of the hill, and just as I was approaching this point, a farmer led a huge bull with gigantic, straight, sharply pointed horns, out of a gate on the left, followed by other men with more normal looking cows, forcing us all to stop.

It all makes perfect sense: the ginaggerous bull was an aurochs, or its Nazi-recreation, (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=87308.0) and the hill was a much smaller version of Harptree Hill on the northern slope of the Mendips, where on last year's Ball Buster,[url] I was forced to walk a while by another rider who had dismounted in front of me at the narrowest part (which is not the top), blocking the whole hill (no shame in walking Harptree Hill, but please, do so in a way that allows others to get past you). (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=87245.0)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: delthebike on 22 January, 2015, 07:16:38 am
Parked bike outside of a pub, stands provided, bought a pint of IPA and was charged £6.50 which I didn't think anything of (this must be one of those deja vu dreams set in the future). Gave the barman a ten pound note and he gave me Indian Rupees as change.
After a bit of a row I said give me my tenner and I'll pay with a debit card. I went to my bag, which was on a nearby table, and explained to Dez what had happened, he was busy sitting at the bar pushing the Fosters tap from its mount on the bar and causing the tap to leak over the bar.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 22 January, 2015, 02:10:10 pm
I dreamt that I was playing Wombles.  A computer game from the early 90s, where you use a clunky ball-mouse to control dozens of ten-pixel-high eponymous sprites by instructing them to manipulate discarded items that they collect as they wander around the park and burrow-based levels, stigmergically directing the colony towards achieving some objective.

Not exactly original, but a good enough idea that I'm disappointed it isn't real.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mrs Pingu on 22 January, 2015, 04:42:36 pm
Last night I had a whole pile of weird dreams. The 1st an anxiety dream that our plasterer (who is supposed to be making our living room all nice while we're on hols) has left loads of big holes in the walls and then gone incommunicado.
The next one I was in some sort of cat rescue centre with somebody I work with, her kids and our vet, and we were spoffling kitties (hmm... I wonder what that could mean).
The others I can't remember now, but they were weird as well.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 22 January, 2015, 04:58:21 pm
I dreamt that I had to register with the council before I was allowed to use pelican crossings.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: graculus on 23 January, 2015, 08:38:29 am
I dreamt that I had to register with the council before I was allowed to use pelican crossings.
Shh! That'll be UKIP policy next week if we're not careful.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 23 January, 2015, 12:39:02 pm
I'm on the Nightnurse this week which always gives me weird dreams and waking hallucinations. I can't remember much of it though.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 23 January, 2015, 01:51:14 pm
Myself, Miss von Brandenburg and overheight Dutch HPV loonhouse Thomas van Schaik had to deal with someone attempting to burgle Larrington Towers in broad daylight.  It ended with Thomas carrying him down the street while Miss von B kicked him repeatedly in the 'nads :thumbsup:  I think I stamped on his glasses at one point.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 26 January, 2015, 01:45:16 pm
Paolo Di Canio and I were in the pubbe having an pint (Old Speckled Hen) discussing the merits of that well known striker Balakki (The spawn of an unholy union between Mario Baloteli and Michael Ballack) whom Paolo had tried to buy when he was the manager of my team.

Having decided that, had things gone the way he wanted, we would be Premier League by now, he then started to wax lyrical about his manicurist, showing me his damn fine scarlet nail varnish with bas relief gold detailing.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: tiermat on 26 February, 2015, 08:14:53 am
Not weird, or funny in the slightest.  However I need to tell someone.

Last night I woke, at about 4AM, in a cold sweat, as I had a VERY vivid dream that TLD had died, and the overarching thing I remember from it is that I felt NOTHING, not sadness, not grief, not a sense of being put out having to arrange the funeral etc etc.

This makes me :( Am I such a bad father that I would feel like that?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on 26 February, 2015, 08:58:35 am
Not nice dream at all phil

Being utterly empty of feeling isn't actually unusual.  I think it is protection.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruthie on 27 February, 2015, 11:26:41 am
No of course you wouldn't feel like that you silly sod. 

IT WAS JUST A DREAM.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruthie on 28 February, 2015, 11:59:06 am
I dreamed I'd been to an interview for a promotion. And I was doing a university module and had submitted an essay. I found out I had got the job, and passed the module, and Charlotte had marked my essay which was something to do with the role of women.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 09 March, 2015, 06:13:00 pm
I had a very strange dream in which I "did a Goldilocks" - marching into someone else's house in their absence and slept in their bed. When I woke up there was still no-one around and when it was time for me to leave I borrowed one of their bicycles. Later on I tried to return it but couldn't find the house again.

Fast forward, and I was in a school, asleep in the staff room. It was lunch time and when I woke up the food had finished being served and I was in danger of getting no lunch. Then Woollypigs arrived in the nick of time and, in Danish, managed to negotiate some food for me.

Good chap, that Woollypigs...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 09 March, 2015, 06:41:48 pm
See it is all about bringing back the plates to the dinner ladies. Always got extra when I did that as a cycling instructor.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 17 March, 2015, 04:18:37 pm
Last night I dreamt that I was watching Peter, of this very Parish, on that YouTube. He was sporting a very hipster pair of glasses and beard, and singing a slightly more pop-orientated ditty than I think he traditionally does, in that there Real Life. In his video, he was hanging upside down on a sofa in the style of a bored 10 yr old.

IIRC it was a very catchy tune. No2Daughter was a big fan.
 :thumbsup:

[WTF?]
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 24 March, 2015, 08:02:05 am
I dreamed that my green morris minor was trashed by a yellow JCB.  Claiming on the insurance was a problem because compensation was the original purchase price of the car in £sd.

Strange because I've never had a morris minor or a JCB and I don't know what they cost in 1948. 

.. been watching the Great Gatsby (Mia Farrow, Robert Redford) earlier..

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Tigerrr on 24 March, 2015, 08:42:37 am
My narrowboat was stolen while we were having a picnic up the hill. It was driven away at 5mph, but I was unable to catch it on my bike because the roads went in the wrong direction.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 24 March, 2015, 08:46:44 am
Three or four times now I've dreamt I've been hosting Steve on his world record attempt and have been making mistakes that cock things right up for him.

Oh the relief when I wake up and realise it's not true.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 24 March, 2015, 08:56:23 am
I have so many very vivid dreams that it would be tedious to report them every day.  I spare you that.

But I thought you might like to know I beat up Richard Branson for his part in carving up the NHS.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 24 March, 2015, 09:30:12 am
I was trying to sign in & pick up my papers at the start of PBP in what appeared to be our local supermarket, but all I could find inside was a bunch of cosmetics shops. When I went back out to the car park our camping car was still there but was surrounded by an elaborate awning & barbecue, and occupied by folk I didn't know.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 24 March, 2015, 10:23:02 am
I have so many very vivid dreams that it would be tedious to report them every day.  I spare you that.

But I thought you might like to know I beat up Richard Branson for his part in carving up the NHS.

So you think that was a dream?  They haven't come to arrest you yet?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Feline on 24 March, 2015, 11:21:41 am
Three or four times now I've dreamt I've been hosting Steve on his world record attempt and have been making mistakes that cock things right up for him.

Oh the relief when I wake up and realise it's not true.

Cor that's a coincidence! I had a dream about hosting Steve last night too!!
He arrived on a date we were not expecting him and it took us ages to cook him food and warm the hot water up for him. We couldn't find the right cables to change up his stuff and were running around like headless chickens. Then Simon's iPhone alarm didn't go off in the morning and he was still fast asleep at 11am when we finally woke up and realised  :facepalm:
Yes, waking up this morning was a big relief  ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 02 April, 2015, 11:39:23 am
I was up in Aalborg Tower*, which was a museum about planets and stars. One room showed space movies recorded by satellites, one room you could try to make life with various gasses. Other rooms had rockets and rocks from planets or comets etc etc.

Then we went upstairs and it was just one big room with some grey dirt/earth laying about 2-3 feet deep with some rocks, no plants or windows, just gaps in the concrete walls to let some light in, we had to have head lamps on. In there was the only ever aliens to come to earth four-five centipedes that was about 4-5 inches wide and around 3 feet long.

If you stood still they would come up to you and roll over so that you rub their bellies. On the roof there were many masts, antennas, radar, satellite dishes that my mate, who builds satellite communication for boats/ships in real life, were responsible for. Then we went downstairs and the views out of the windows changed from Paris to London depending on which window you looked out. Then a fire started and Peli's alarm ran.

So my question did the tower really burn and did we save the centipedes?

* My home town. Aalborg Tårnet is a 54.9 metre tall observation tower built of lattice steel in Aalborg, Denmark. The tower is built on a hill, providing a total height of 105 metres above sea level. The tower has a restaurant on the top.

(http://aalborgtaarnet.dk/images/site/profil2.jpg)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 02 April, 2015, 11:54:59 am
For reasons that don't really make sense, other than it presumably being a YACF ride, I had a dream in which Auntie Helen, Phil and myself were cycling to Wolverhampton (which seemed to have turned into Bristol) along the canal paths in the dark, using an amphibious velomobile and a pair of Bromptons.  There was much getting lost and checking of maps, and concerns about being late for meeting Basil in the pub (he had, presumably, taken a road route).

It was completely unrealistic:  Nothing got muddy.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Canardly on 02 April, 2015, 12:32:37 pm
Amphibious velomobile eh,  you will be giving AuntieH ideas!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 02 April, 2015, 01:00:09 pm
your subconscious is telling you that a Tunnels Ride is needing to be organised.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 19 April, 2015, 09:52:50 am
Charlotte had persuaded me that I should ride the Skeggy 300.  For some reason the contents of my rack bag had been replaced with the random clutter that lived in my school bag in the mid-90s, little of which would have been useful on an audax.  Also, it was raining, so my waterproof jacket had expanded and I knew it wouldn't roll up small enough to fit when I tried to take it off.  So I was refusing to start, on the basis of being utterly unprepared, and because Skegness is a dump.

She decided that the only way it was going to work was if I paid a quick visit to andygates's trans-cranial magnetic stimulation emporium, and have the bits of my brain responsible for common sense temporarily disabled.  This worked well, and after I'd offloaded my supply of spare tubes, I was off...

I woke up before the first control, as I was bursting for the loo at that point.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 19 April, 2015, 10:33:11 am
First dream: I was helping someone to test shoot various weapons and and as support prop we could only use small dead people. The ones I had found weren't good because rigor mortis haven't set in yet  - WTF! where did that come from?

Second dream: We were in Brasil selling stuff on markets around the country. Our mutt got lost after it was swimming in a miniature canal with locks with other dogs. Some people said that they saw out mutt go with others after the swim and that Peli had said it was ok. I was on a bus trying to show a picture to other passengers but my phone kept crashing because it was out of power, but when I stopped looking for photos I had full power. Peli called and said to come back. Because of the phone call I lost track of where the bus had gone so I couldn't remember the route back. I had to walk through a market but for every stall I pass or rather crawled over I got a few more rows to get past or over. The jewellery stalls were the hardest to pass, clothing and bacon stalls were easy. Depending on which way I looked it was day or night time.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ham on 27 May, 2015, 07:40:44 am
It appears I saved the day. My old (80s) Muddy Fox was put back together and running very sweetly, just as well because TG needed to ride it, all his Raleighs were hors de combat.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 06 June, 2015, 01:35:40 pm
Sadly I can't remember more from last night wonderful bizarre dream.

We where in a boat retuning to the shore and coming swimming towards us was Kurt Cobain, as he was doing so, he swam over a humpback whale.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 June, 2015, 04:26:35 pm
A weirdly disturbed/disturbing dream last night. I was in a queue to cook a meal. There was a wall of microwave ovens, when I got to the front of the queue I got one at the right-hand end in a middle row. You tipped some random veg into the microwave, which then somehow filled with water and there was a lizard in the water – large and green, apparently happily breathing underwater. Perhaps it was a newt. You knew your meal was ready when the lizard's eyeballs bulged then exploded.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 18 June, 2015, 08:29:12 am
A weirdly disturbed/disturbing dream last night. I was in a queue to cook a meal. There was a wall of microwave ovens, when I got to the front of the queue I got one at the right-hand end in a middle row. You tipped some random veg into the microwave, which then somehow filled with water and there was a lizard in the water – large and green, apparently happily breathing underwater. Perhaps it was a newt. You knew your meal was ready when the lizard's eyeballs bulged then exploded.

Sounds like a King Koopa franchise emporium of toothy comestibles to me.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruthie on 18 June, 2015, 10:23:28 am
Ewww, that sounds disgusting.

I dreamed I told my hairdresser to make me a platinum blonde last night, and when I'd done it my daughter was furious because I looked ridiculous.  When I woke up I thought for a few moments I was still blonde, and was quite pleased, but then woke up properly and turned the alarm off.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 June, 2015, 08:54:54 pm
I now have the almost equally disturbing idea of a peckish Fuzzy snacking off my troubling dreams.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 06 July, 2015, 12:33:47 pm
Odd one last night. I was dozing off when I saw myself riding along in a group. To my left and just in front of me was someone I was riding with yesterday morning. He abruptly turned right across me and I rode straight into the side of his bike. This was so startly it woke me up. In reality, he's one of the least likely people ever to ride like that.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 09 August, 2015, 08:33:05 am
Last night I was in Bradford station with a heavily laden touring bike on my way home from Scotland. I had a ticket which required me to get the Hull train and change somewhere else, I think Nottingham. Then my bike disappeared. There had been a party of school kids who had been loading bikes onto a big trailer and I thought they might have had it, but they hadn't, and I concluded that someone must have deliberately distracted me so that their mates could nick it. For some reason I decided that the best course of action was to return to Scotland to look for my bike and I ended up in some remote place, which may have been the Kyle of Lochalsh. The odd thing was that although the dream filled me with the overwhelming loss that one would suffer on finding that your favourite bike had been nicked, during all this I was still pushing a heavily laden touring bike about. Some time later I was back in Bradford trying to persuade the train guard to let me onto a different train.

I haven't been to Bradford Station for about 40 years and I am sure the services between Bradford and Hull wouldn't go via Nottingham.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruthie on 09 August, 2015, 10:09:44 am
I dreamed I was eating nougat last night.  Which was nice.  It was extremely nutty.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 09 August, 2015, 02:00:45 pm
I had a long, convoluted dream, the key point of which was discovering increasingly convincing evidence that I was trapped in a simulated reality.  Then I woke up.


That's almost @MicroSFF complaint, that is.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 20 August, 2015, 08:19:50 am
Last night I was sitting with my father and we were looking at the state of the outside wall of the house in the cupboard under the stairs. The wall had a lot of loose bricks and a leaking water pipe through it. Suddenly the wall collapsed and I was in a disused ( long since demolished) cinema which had two Avro Lancasters in the basement. Phill Jupitus and Shaun Lock arrived with a camera crew to film their extraction as they were going to be overhauled and returned to flight. I have a vivid image of examining the wood grain on the surface of the tailfins - which is very odd because the Lancaster has an all aluminium skin. There was a lot of effin & jeffin as they dismantled the aeroplanes and wheeled them out through the foyer then I found myself back home but I'd left my car in the basement. I rode back on my bike but forgot the keys. I then had a massive argument with Phill & Shaun because they kept riding around on my bike and wouldn't give it back.

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wombat on 20 August, 2015, 08:56:57 am
But was the cheese you ate before you went to bed, good?  ;D

Mosty of mine are also weird, but memory of them is usually very patchy.  They do, however, contain lots of falling from very high places, or into dark wet places like power station cooling water intakes, and the like.  Occasionally I do get nice dreams involving friendly ladies, but the falling off/into things ones seem to predominate.  They give me the fears, big time...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Tigerrr on 20 August, 2015, 10:22:21 am
Last night I dreamed I had to buy new shoes. The only ones I was offered in the shop were 'Supercrocs'. These are huge crocs, inside which one wears tea cosies on ones feet. Four inch thick rubber soles and sort of square. Quite hard to walk in, as I found when I tried them on. Apparently, so the assistant explained, they are very popular with people working in the electrical storm line. I can see how that makes sense.
In the end though I decided the Supercrocs were just a bit too big, although obviously very practical in lightning, so had to accept the sequinned espadrilles which were the only alternarnative. I felt a bit of a fool walking around in them though.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 20 August, 2015, 11:10:05 am
Last night I was sitting with my father and we were looking at the state of the outside wall of the house in the cupboard under the stairs.
The soul of M.C. Escher has been cast out of purgatory into the inferno of your skull.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 August, 2015, 12:55:09 pm
We had that M.C. Escher in to do some building work a few years ago.  I haven't been able to leave the house since.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 27 August, 2015, 02:29:01 pm
Amongst other, less sensible things, a cameo appearance by Dez and Wowbagger, who had converted their car to be fuelled by loose gravel.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Andrij on 27 August, 2015, 03:33:25 pm
Amongst other, less sensible things, a cameo appearance by Dez and Wowbagger, who had converted their car to be fuelled by loose gravel.

Did it sweep up the gravel from the road as it moved along?  If so, that would be AWESOME.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 27 August, 2015, 03:45:29 pm
Amongst other, less sensible things, a cameo appearance by Dez and Wowbagger, who had converted their car to be fuelled by loose gravel.

Did it sweep up the gravel from the road as it moved along?  If so, that would be AWESOME.  :thumbsup:

I reckon the YACF Research & Development department should get cracking on it right away.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 27 August, 2015, 06:37:01 pm
Amongst other, less sensible things, a cameo appearance by Dez and Wowbagger, who had converted their car to be fuelled by loose gravel.

If you can find a way of generating electricity from loose gravel then you are on a winner. Del's scapula and rib cage need not be involved.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Legs on 28 August, 2015, 08:57:29 am
Used to have a recurring dream of being a mouse in a field with a combined harvester approaching.  Always woke up at The Moment.

Had a dream the other morning (sometime between 4 and 6) that had the texture of a hybrid Jeffrey Archer / Frederick Forsyth / Ken Follett story.  Haven't got a clue what was going on.  I think I might have been in tat Twiglet Zone between asleep/dreaming and awake/thinking.  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 28 August, 2015, 09:05:53 am
Had a weird dream last night that my wife was telling me about her work, which was something to do with aircraft manufacture. I said I thought she worked in "assaying". (Her real life job is something far more mundane than either.)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 28 August, 2015, 03:20:35 pm
Used to have a recurring dream of being a mouse in a field with a combined harvester approaching.  Always woke up at The Moment.

You must move to the lee of the stone, as any owl knows.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Legs on 28 August, 2015, 04:07:47 pm
I'm don't remember ever having seen NIMH, but that is definitely good advice.  I haven't had the dream for about 25 years but I'll try to remember for next time!  Thanks muchly!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: JennyB on 03 September, 2015, 10:12:24 am
A rather nice dream on waking this morning. I  was trying out an Ordinary, and doing quite well. One gentle slow-motion header; I did a forward roll and landed on my feet.  A couple passed by on a tallbike tandem.  They waved.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 03 September, 2015, 10:31:00 am
I dreamed last night that I killed Rupert Murdoch by decapitation. It was a very strange and confused dream and, strangely, not particularly upsetting. It was possibly inspired by looking at a recent Steve Bell cartoon.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 03 September, 2015, 10:47:35 am
I'm don't remember ever having seen NIMH, but that is definitely good advice.  I haven't had the dream for about 25 years but I'll try to remember for next time!  Thanks muchly!
What is NIMH? Presumably something I've never seen either, but...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: PeteB99 on 03 September, 2015, 10:58:03 am
I'm don't remember ever having seen NIMH, but that is definitely good advice.  I haven't had the dream for about 25 years but I'll try to remember for next time!  Thanks muchly!
What is NIMH? Presumably something I've never seen either, but...

National Institute of Mental Health

as in

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Frisby-Rats-NIMH-Puffin-Book-ebook/dp/B004PYDBKI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441274068&sr=8-1&keywords=mrs+frisbee+and+the+rats+of+nimh (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Frisby-Rats-NIMH-Puffin-Book-ebook/dp/B004PYDBKI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441274068&sr=8-1&keywords=mrs+frisbee+and+the+rats+of+nimh)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 16 September, 2015, 07:57:35 am
Very very clear dream this morning that I had bought a red folding bike from - eek! - Halfords.  I had promised to go for a ride with Mack (my former riding buddy from the 80s) and ttcycle (an occasional riding buddy not OTP).  But I hadn't even got the bike out of the cardboard packaging, and I had issues with the multi-part seat tube.  Eventually got it assembled, and set off (wearing para boots I'd also got from Halfords, apparently), but forgot to inflate my tyres. ::-)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 16 September, 2015, 08:17:09 am
Raining, conservatory roof leaking, copious black gunk dripping through onto the pad of my new Assos shorts on the clothes dryer. Woke up quite alarmed: we haven't got a conservatory.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Legs on 16 September, 2015, 09:19:01 am
A few weeks ago there was a good line in Corrie (I'm not a habitual Corrie-watcher but I have to admit that they often do a great line in gentle humour) from Kirk.  "I had a nightmare the other night - I was stuck in a lift with Nicola Sturgeon!"
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: De Sisti on 19 September, 2015, 10:46:49 am
Some party revellers (two female, one male) from a neighbouring house were trying to break into mine (using a forged key).
I was downstairs and didn't confront them (for fear of them telling police that I instigated situation and being blamed for it).
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 28 September, 2015, 07:29:41 am
Mrs. Wow and I were on holiday in Northern Scotland. We were in a town (Thurso probably) and we went to a performance in which a woman and her relatives were playing Bach's Double Concerto. The woman in question, who was playing one of the violin solo parts on a Stanley screwdriver,* had enormous breasts that constantly dripped milk and she stopped the performance in order to feed her daughter, who was about five years old. After that there was an unnecessarily frank exchange amongst the performers, who happened to be the woman's own family, about their idiosyncratic sexual practices. After that Mrs. Wow and I wandered amongst some Roman ruins for a while until it was time to retrieve our luggage and catch our train, but our panniers were nowhere to be found and our train was imminent. At that point our daughter opened the bedroom door and asked me to get dressed as her husband was about to go to work and our grandson had to be looked after.

My first thought on waking was "That dream was ridiculous. Everyone knows there are no Roman remains in Northern Scotland."

*as a a woodwind instrument, obv.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 30 September, 2015, 12:58:40 pm
In Devon with some friends, noticed The Bear (a sad cat), made friends with him and realised he wasn't well. Attempted to tweet his human to notify him but couldn't use my phone because the army were involved in a bomb scare in a big building over the road. Asked one of the army men to show me where I could use my phone so he walked me to the end of the road. His name was Colin. Tweeted The Bear's human to say The Bear isn't well, and then took The Bear with me to find a vet. The army guy came too. Dunno where my friends went.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 05 October, 2015, 05:37:59 pm
With wife and some friends on a train going north through England at night. Another traveller had a bike with tyres about 5" in section and I started chatting with him about it. "Oh yes, it goes very fast." After the boat docked we strolled up the High St. in Belfast, passing on the way a bunch of young fellows in 3-piece suits with their jackets off who were carrying mattresses out of a building. The mattresses had place settings fastened to them, and we had the vague idea that they were pinching them but we walked on anyway.  On reaching the end of Castle Place we stopped, wondering where to go next. We could see the City Hall, all lit up, off on the left and Castle St. straight ahead.  My wife said "I think if we go up there we can reach the Robertsau".

Shame that I woke up at that point. The Robertsau is a suburb of Strasbourg.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 06 October, 2015, 07:06:18 am
It's tricky.  I think I dreamt that I woke up having dreamt that I bought a boat.  In my dream I then panicked because I wasn't sure if really had bought a boat or whether it was just something I dreamt.  I remember searching everywhere for the details of the boat just in case it wasn't a dream.  Anyway, I just going have look round now in my stacks of papers and check the bank account in case I really did buy a boat.  Maybe then I will wake up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 06 October, 2015, 07:45:06 am
I noticed propped up outside a cafe Butterfly's Galaxy and Clarion's Dursley Pederson.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Tigerrr on 06 October, 2015, 07:54:46 am
Last night I discovered my dog Bosun can fly. And instead of going on a walk can be flown like a kite. On a wood and brass large reel, fitted with a seat, that they sell in the old hardware shop. Once Bosun is up at height one can winch the seat up and fly with him. By this means we flew to an island where we had lunch on the terrace of a convent surrounded by nuns with huge headdresses.
Imagine my disappointment this morning when he shows no sign at all of his talent.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 27 October, 2015, 10:30:29 am
Last night I dreamt that I was talking to someone, sadly forgot whom, about the very good, detailed and comprehensive blog written by Blodwyn Pig and how much we enjoyed it and how hard it was to "put it down", just got sucked into it. The other person said that they were stuck between rust and breakfast, which made so much sense in my dream.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 October, 2015, 11:08:20 am
I noticed propped up outside a cafe Butterfly's Galaxy and Clarion's Dursley Pederson.
This is the kind of thing it would be most fitting to see in reality if you were in Wotton.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 November, 2015, 10:43:48 am
I was walking up the hill where I live. On the other side of the road, a cyclist whose bike looked like a stick drawing was going downhill with a car right up against his back wheel, pushing his bike sideways. Then the car swerved to its left, through an impressive gate that isn't there in real life, crashed into a garden wall and burst into flames. Suddenly I was going through the front door of a house that looked like the place my aunt used to live in. Inside it was decorated in a similar style and there was a huge mess in the kitchen – so it must have been hers! I put the kettle on (of course!) and it caught fire. I unplugged it at the kettle end, leaving it plugged into the wall (I never do this!) and made the tea. This caused the huge pile of washing up in the sink to catch fire. Then I noticed that the bottom of the kettle, which looked like a mixer, had an adjuster like you see to set the time on an alarm clock. I never go to drink the tea, because I woke up.

Then I went back to sleep again, and I could have done with that alarm clock, because when I woke up properly, it was too late to join the ride I'd intended to go on.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 09 November, 2015, 02:16:41 pm
Last night I was at a training camp of some sort and got very sweaty and dirty. The dormitory, which was much like the Gryfindor common room had large sinks along one wall. I jumped into one of the sinks for a bath. Whilst relaxing in the sink, Victoria Pendleton and her family came in and sat down for a chat. My only concern was that I didn't have my copy of Victoria's autobiography for her to sign.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: lou boutin on 09 November, 2015, 08:49:54 pm
My dream last night was about buying cats to come and work at the university. I wanted two black cats, two black and white cats and a white fluffy cat.  One of these cats had to be a cat that was happy to sit on people's laps.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 09 November, 2015, 10:37:15 pm
If the white fluffy cat ends up sitting on the lap of the Chancellor of Vice (optionally in his hollowed-out volcano) it's time to start looking for another job.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: lou boutin on 10 November, 2015, 01:45:47 pm
If the white fluffy cat ends up sitting on the lap of the Chancellor of Vice (optionally in his hollowed-out volcano) it's time to start looking for another job.

He he  ;D
Dr No wouldn't get a job here as he has a doctorate!!!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: hujev on 17 November, 2015, 12:38:58 am
I almost always forget my dreams, even having had them, within minutes of waking up. But I wrote this one down it was so weird (and short).

Scene: ~4 ~8-10-year old boys, one driving and the others riding in a late 1970s American Big Car (BAC).

One of them, perhaps attempting to sound like the ring leader, says "Ah, yes, ____ [name forgotten], you do make excellent "Kyoosh".
[I instantaneously knew as this word, pronounced like cute but with sh, was introduced that it was slang (only in this dream) for 'petrol'.]
[The other odd thing is that apparently it is only the availability of Kyoosh/petrol that keeps the kids from driving, and apparently making their own is the way to go]

The driver, apparently ___ himself, replied innocently "I didn't make any Kyoosh".

The others, simultaneously exclaim/scream "No Kyoosh!, AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!"
[apparently the BAC will spin out of control without Kyoosh, or something]



Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 November, 2015, 12:42:38 pm
I saw an advert recently for a workshop in "lucid dreams". Someone claims to be able to teach you to have dreams in which you are conscious you are dreaming and so are able, to an extent, to control the course of the dream. Hmmm. Certainly such things exist, because I remember them as a child, but whether it's something that can be taught, I'm not at all sure. And if it can, I'm not sure I'd want to learn it.
Quote
The practice of dream yoga allows access to 'lucid dreams' in which we are aware we are dreaming – and are thus able to perform 'miracles'. The practice of clear light allows us to retain awareness through the process of falling asleep without dreams. This liberates us from addiction to familiar form and allows us to experience pure awareness without sensory or conceptual content. The practice of illusory wakefulness connects powerfully with dream yoga through sitting meditation in waking consciousness, thus revealing the 'one taste' or essential sameness of experience in both waking and sleeping. Together, these practices free us from conceptual limitations of time and space, and allow us to experience the simultaneous continuity and discontinuity of experience.
http://issuu.com/coexistcic/docs/hh_nov_programme_2015-online
p9
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 17 November, 2015, 12:45:16 pm
I dreamed Royal Mint was issuing heart-shaped pound coins to celebrate the 50th anniversary of Valentine's Day. They were fine to spend in shops, but no good for vending machines.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 17 November, 2015, 01:17:14 pm
I was giving a presentation (I'm not entirely sure about what) to a room full of UKIP supporters.  It was going quite badly because I couldn't hear the questions properly and kept answering the wrong things.  I was terrified that someone would notice I had long hair and decide I must be Indian.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 November, 2015, 02:43:14 pm
French former rugby international and professional scarf-wearer Thomas Castaignède was on "Eastenders" last night.  There was a lot of SHOUTING.  Then, as is apparently common in Walford, he shot some shrieking blonde harridan utterly to DETH.  With a gun.

For the avoidance of doubt, I do not watch "Eastenders".
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 20 November, 2015, 04:24:05 pm
For the avoidance of doubt, I do not watch "Eastenders".

Perhaps a more pertinent question is do you write it?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 20 November, 2015, 04:37:47 pm
For the avoidance of doubt, I do not watch "Eastenders".

Perhaps a more pertinent question is do you write it?

If he wrote it, I'd watch it!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: perpetual dan on 28 November, 2015, 10:04:37 am
I was working at a desk in the garden, and somehow my mobile phone slipped out of my hand and into a puddle. I caught the phone after it hit the water but before it hit the bottom (it had become quite a deep puddle). The screen was cracked (just from hitting the water!). Then, having got wet, the screen behind the glass started to expand in an alarming way.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: DDCyclist on 28 November, 2015, 10:23:28 am
I was at work. Sitting at a low desk with a keyboard and large screen on it. Next to me, a couple of metres away, was a similarly equipped colleague. It was more like a waiting room with coffee tables in use as desks.

The scene changed to the same setting - but in disarray. Some children (who were not in the first scene), from primary school age up to young adults, were fooling around. Broken parts of a table which I had made were lying in the room. After a few moments I noticed that my colleague was having what appeared to be an epileptic fit.

My attention turned back to my computer. I noticed that the time was 9:03pm. I knew that I couldn't account for the several hours. I went into the next room where my manager was sitting at a desk, higher than mine, with a similar computer on it. I tried to tell her about the time but didn't seem able to. Although I never got the words out I sensed her responding that it was 'all quite normal'.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: DDCyclist on 05 December, 2015, 10:15:48 am
I was an alien and I'd gone to my relatively mundane job with a human colleague. He was a quantity surveyor or something like that. I'm not quite sure what my task was, but I seemed to be doing something with numbers. Choosing the right numbers, to me, was a design process - the end result was a layout, for a building, that was immediately obvious to me. A few short numbers told me everything I needed to know all the way down to positions of furniture and communication links. The humans around us (hard-hat Doozer types) were dismissive. They couldn't understand the numbers. They needed drawings. They didn't like me and just wanted me, and everyone like me, to leave. I was the only alien on the site. I had the feeling I wasn't the only alien on the planet.

I went out from the room I was in to look further around the site. It was massive. I couldn't find my way back to the room I started in. Corridors kept getting closed off. After a while I came across a group of Doozers who were almost panicking while they carried an obviously overcharging battery of some sort to safety - out of the nearly finished room they'd been working in into one where a small fire or explosion wouldn't matter.

I knew that they could be easily hurt or killed as they were too close. I fought my way through the crowd to get to the battery pack. It was smoking and the casing was bulging. I stroked it gently, with my left hand, to take energy away. I then stroked a stainless steel sink to transfer the energy into that where it would dissipate safely. Even so, the metal began to glow. The smoking eased off and the casing began to return to its normal shape. The Doozers couldn't see how it had been possible for me to control the reaction. They were incredibly grateful. They were no longer suspicious of me.

Thoughts turned to another overheating battery that had been too dangerous to move. We started moving towards the room it was in. I had the feeling I was going willingly into extreme danger.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 12 December, 2015, 12:41:40 pm
In a weird British version of Speed, someone - presumably the hacker group Anonymous - had put a bomb in one of those shonky search computers you get in Jobcunters.  It would ask pub quiz questions at random intervals and explode if not answered correctly.  A crack team of YACFers was dispatched to the scene (by bike, natch) to save the day with their knowledge of sport, ex-prime-ministers and popular beat combos.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: numbnuts on 12 December, 2015, 02:21:01 pm
Last night I dreamt I bought a second hand BMW …...... now that is scary :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: lou boutin on 13 December, 2015, 01:00:06 pm
Last night I had a dream that I was a bridesmaid at a wedding and Mrs Pingu, who I've never met in real life, was at the wedding so I was looking for her to say hello and talk about Salam, Pipkin and Mojo. I really shouldn't read the forum before bed.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 13 December, 2015, 03:35:41 pm
I was going to go to Denmark for an HPV race weekend but it was all very complicated because I hadn't asked $MATE if he was coming, or booked the ferry tickets, or asked for any holibobs, and it was the Tuesday evening and things started in Århus on the Friday morning, and I didn't have any money, and my mum told me not to be silly (which is a bit odd coz she died in 2002).
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 December, 2015, 11:00:12 am
I dreamt about Hellymedic!  :o Or rather, I had a dream featuring Helly. She was doing an online quiz in which you had to recognise silhouettes of famous buildings, some of which were real, some were film or stage sets. I think I was supposed to be helping her. Odd.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 27 December, 2015, 11:36:23 am
At bladder o'Clock as I crawled out of bed, Peli went chzzzzzzzzz hahahaha.

When I crawled back into the bed I was told to be aware of the box of oranges. When I asked which oranges, she didn't know. But still I should be aware that the oranges would be important. She then wanted to know what we could use instead of oranges, when I said what about bananas? She went no no no no no, while shaking her head, turned over and went back to sleep.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 27 December, 2015, 12:31:21 pm
I had a dream that a friend and I were trying to cycle along every street in Basingstoke, while people on the internet argued about the efficiency of our routing, whether particular streets actually counted as 'in Basingstoke' or not, and whether it was in the spirit of mandatory route DIY by GPS (in spite of our attempt not being under audax conditions).


Clearly too many 'current thoughts on the record attempt' before bed, but I'm not sure how Amazingstoke comes into it  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 27 December, 2015, 12:50:55 pm
"Amazingstoke" ???

Surely you mean "Basingrad"?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 27 December, 2015, 12:56:24 pm
Quite possibly.  I learned everything I know about the place from the fillum Get Real
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: cycleman on 27 December, 2015, 05:23:59 pm
Apollo is her in Slough at the moment having been let out of basingrad for Christmas .☺
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: PeteB99 on 28 December, 2015, 12:07:05 pm
Last night I had to take my old cat (dead these last 15 years) to the cattery. I only had the moulton for transport and no cat basket so he hung on around my neck. All went well until a car cut us up and he dug his claws in.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Redlight on 30 December, 2015, 01:38:16 pm
I was meeting an old friend (age 50, married with 2 teenagers) for a coffee in central London and she turned up on a Boris Bike, wearing a leather jacket and floral hot pants.

I have no idea what to make of that and, having been told about it, neither does she!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 December, 2015, 03:48:38 pm
The Pingus, who I have never met, hacked an electronics retailer's web site such that an expensive 5:1 speaker package showed up as "laboratory equipment", enabling them to get one or other of their employers to pay for it.  Norty Pingus.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Canardly on 30 December, 2015, 07:02:40 pm
Clearly spending too much time on the forum ^^^^^^^! (or eating cheese).
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 08 January, 2016, 07:52:27 am
We were watching the Olympics gymnastics, where a young lad was running across the square thing that they jump and dance about on. As he jumped he cramped up and crashed down onto the matt in that same shape/position he froze in. It was good because all he had to do was to get unto the matt for England to win. If he didn't they would only get silver and gold would be the first time ever in all sports that England won gold. The whole team - about 20 people - rejoiced and created a human pyramid while jumping about. The bad news was that he froze, so the tv host then went to the expert panel to find out, the panel was a group of kindergarten children. The first question was - so do you think that he froze because of all the gunpowder residue that is in the air?

Sadly the alarm went off then.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 08 January, 2016, 11:44:49 am
Don't mix stilton with your LSD.

Just don't, kids . . .
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 09 January, 2016, 02:53:44 pm
I dreamt that I met Terry Wogan, and thought "This is good, I'll be able to post about it on the tenuous claims to fame" thread.

This is much better than the other night's asthma-induced bikes-on-trains nightmare.  It had everything except hand injury, so I must have been lying on my side.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fboab on 09 January, 2016, 03:04:34 pm
Last night I dreamt that I was having a skype conversation with That Deano as he was floating on a lilo in a health spa swimming pool.
It took me ages to get his attention as he was wearing a pair of No2Daughter's purple over-ear headphones and a bright yellow snorkel.
And Deano, I was mighty unimpressed with your choice of swimming trunks. They were very Hawaiian.

:facepalm:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 January, 2016, 06:52:04 pm
I dreamt that I met Terry Wogan, and thought "This is good, I'll be able to post about it on the tenuous claims to fame" thread.
The coffee man?  (http://www.wogancoffee.co.uk)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 09 January, 2016, 06:54:01 pm
I dreamt up a new way to mend punctures. I was cutting right through the tube next to the puncture, pulling the punctured section down inside the other end of the tube and gluing the ends together.

This is such a wonderful way to mend punctures that I present it here for the good of cyclist-kind.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on 09 January, 2016, 07:25:24 pm
I have an old English bicycle book (1930s?) that describes exactly that method of fixing badly punctured tubes. I guess it would work for those big star-shaped blowouts.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Rhys W on 09 January, 2016, 10:28:11 pm
I had a corker last night, woke me up at 4:38 because it was so intense.

I was at work when a friend phoned me to say we have a gig tonight. I say fine, but you'll have to pick up my guitars and amps because I won't have time, coming straight from work. OK, he says, meet us at this hotel. I get there and am immediately escorted into the basement by burly security men in dark glasses and earpieces. Somebody gives me a leather jacket, which is very fine and fits me like a glove. I'm also given a pair of cuban-heeled boots so I'm tottering about like a Valleys girl at the end of a hen night in Cardiff. Then some bloke comes up and says "I'm from Fender, we made this guitar for you". On a stand is something I've never ever seen, a cross between a Strat and a Tele, black with gold plastic knobs like a Les Paul. I pick it up and it's feather-light, very resonant and plays like a dream.

I turn round to look at my bandmates and who is sitting on a stool trying to look inscrutable and enigmatic is... Bono. At this point it dawns on me what is going on. The Edge has left and I've been drafted in as his replacement. I should point out that I'm not really a fan of U2! Somebody says "time to go" and we're bundled out into a waiting limo. At the destination I get out and am confronted by hordes of screaming girls but we're escorted to the venue. At some VIP tables I spot my sister and my two nieces who've obviously come to see me perform. At this point I'm getting a bit overwhelmed by the gravity of the situation so I make a beeline to their table, glad to see some familiar faces. I was so worried about performing in front of a stadium crowd I think that's what woke me up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 15 January, 2016, 04:57:04 pm
I was introduced to my eighteen year old daughter for the first time :o

Hurrah: She seems very nice and rides a bike :thumbsup:
Bah: She's moving into Larrington Towers :'(

All in all it seems like a very civilised way of having children.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 26 January, 2016, 08:42:46 pm
I was roadieing for Altered Images and Clare Grogan was on stage giving her all singing Happy Birthday but stopped half way through to declare that her hair was all wrong for this song- it was styled perectly for I Could Be Happy. I then had to remind her that her dance was all wrong as well- she was doing the I Could Be Happy dance. The live recording bell then went off and morphed into the alarm clock........
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: cygnet on 11 February, 2016, 08:46:58 am
Amongst lots and lots of weirdness, there was an article on the BBC website about Sleater Kinney and U2 getting into a bidding war for a lighting rig that had been designed by Michael Hutchinson. It had 20 lights and projected an image of a mouse. There was a video interview/montage with Sleater Kinney, who were very cool. Randomly James McNew from Yo La Tengo popped up in it.

In another section I was filtering down the side of traffic along a street with set back buildings and an avenue of trees. I remembered there used to be a small WWII transport plane parked in front of the building ahead, removed a couple of years ago. As I got to the ASL my club gen sec was there. They were unloading a steel sculpture of a plane, and the fuselage was on the crane. It looked like the old one, but carved out of a big tree. Everyone was clapping. I tried to get some photo's with my phone but it was swaying too much.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 11 February, 2016, 08:49:29 am
All in all it seems like a very civilised way of having children.

"...I will see him again when he is six."
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 11 February, 2016, 12:49:11 pm
Aretha Franklin died.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 February, 2016, 12:55:05 pm
I was scanning bananas with a bar code scanner. There were two scanners and if I used the wrong one it read the bananas  themselves rather than the bar code (which couldn't be seen). 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 11 February, 2016, 01:47:34 pm
I was scanning bananas with a bar code scanner. There were two scanners and if I used the wrong one it read the bananas  themselves rather than the bar code (which couldn't be seen).

Are you sure that was a dream, and not one of nikki's projects?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 February, 2016, 02:01:04 pm
I was scanning bananas with a bar code scanner. There were two scanners and if I used the wrong one it read the bananas  themselves rather than the bar code (which couldn't be seen).

Are you sure that was a dream, and not one of nikki's projects?
That raises some really disturbing possibilities. Because it was definitely a dream, but what if my dream was itself one of nikki's projects? Not only does that make nikki probably the world's most unlikely evil genius white-cat-stroking mastermind (and last time I saw her, she did say she was cat-sitting... ), it is weird enough to be a plot in Phineas and Ferb.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Tigerrr on 11 February, 2016, 07:38:58 pm
23 pages of dreams and pretty much an absence of weird sexual stuff. Missed the incest, sodomy, fetishism, repressed homosexual yearnings etc and animal sex that is fairly normal dream topics. Must be something to do with cycling, or editing.
I can't believe YACF dreams are actually as dull and vanilla as this thread suggests. But I wouldn't post my actual dreams here either.

 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: clarion on 12 February, 2016, 03:16:33 pm
Last night I dreamed I put on a gig in a building on a larger estate.  There was lots of demand, but, for some reason, the people on the gate forgot to sell tickets, then desperately tried to get people already inside to cough up.  Anyway, the ska fans (The Beat was one of the bands playing - I addressed them as The Specials once, but I think I got away with it) roamed round the grounds, and got tangled up with tours of the stately home. 

But it was a great gig, and I got to introduce the bands, saying something along the lines of, 'This is my Maze, this is my Leadmill, this is my Duchess!' before bringing them on stage.

Yes, it was very detailed, yes, it may have been influenced by what was on R4X in the night (I haven't checked), and, yes, it went on for a long time.

Probably most fun gig I've ever had in my dreams. :D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 February, 2016, 03:56:22 pm
23 pages of dreams and pretty much an absence of weird sexual stuff. Missed the incest, sodomy, fetishism, repressed homosexual yearnings etc and animal sex that is fairly normal dream topics. Must be something to do with cycling, or editing.
I can't believe YACF dreams are actually as dull and vanilla as this thread suggests. But I wouldn't post my actual dreams here either.

There was one last night involving a former flatmate named Juliet but I woke up just as it was starting to get interesting chiz.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: cycleman on 12 February, 2016, 05:39:27 pm
23 pages of dreams and pretty much an absence of weird sexual stuff. Missed the incest, sodomy, fetishism, repressed homosexual yearnings etc and animal sex that is fairly normal dream topics. Must be something to do with cycling, or editing.
I can't believe YACF dreams are actually as dull and vanilla as this thread suggests. But I wouldn't post my actual dreams here either.

There was one last night involving a former flatmate named Juliet but I woke up just as it was starting to get interesting chiz.

I tend to wake up as my dreams get interesting to , bah!.☺
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 22 February, 2016, 04:58:29 pm
My last one was all done in the style of Far Side - drawn, colours etc. Sadly I can't remember what it was about. It is also a bit weird that I haven't read Far Side for a long time.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 23 February, 2016, 08:45:22 am
At some point last night I found myself cutting up and eating one of my coupe-vents, a very light long-sleeved cycling shirt without pockets.  Then I regretted it because I have two such, and this one was my favourite.

I was quite pleased to see it on the dryer in the bathroom this morning.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 23 February, 2016, 05:03:57 pm
Benedict Cumberbatch was interviewing me for a job as a grammar school caretaker.

As soon as I entered his office, a bad cold hit me with snot running down my nose and top lip, a hacking cough etc.

I was instructed to undertake a test. the test required me to examine a series of clues made up of lots of pictures. From these pictures I could deuce the name of a person/ book/ play etc. The clues were backed up by the answer being provided in the form of anagrams in various foreign languages including Greek, Hebrew, Hieroglyphs etc.

I am awaiting a call back to see if I got the job.   
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 27 February, 2016, 11:27:58 am
My line manager was being extremely unsympathetic about my depression, mocking me in the office and piling the work on. We had some minor argy-bargy and then I threw my pen and my files on the floor, told her I was going home sick, and walked out.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: perpetual dan on 28 February, 2016, 09:36:55 am
I was at the local college (not sure why, not as a pupil or teacher) and at a lesson on giving birth which involved a role play with a doll. Neil Kinnock was on the other side of the room and looking for someone to be his partner for the role play, beckoning at the group I was with.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 13 March, 2016, 09:48:30 pm
A few nights ago I had a dream which persisted from sleep bout to sleep bout. It was very disturbing and I woke up feeling drained.

I was on a solo cycle tour in France. In a particularly remote, corn-fieldy bit I needed a hedge stop (one a chap has to crouch down for) and indeed carried out the deed. For some reason that I totally fail to understand (I suppose that goes with the territory in dreams) I did not return my cycling shorts to their correct position and cycled bare-arsed until I arrived in a small market town. I found the bog there and washed my hands but when I returned, still sans culottes, my bike and all my luggage had been stolen. I was in an agitated state and thoroughly without any idea concerning a sensible plan when three pals turned up out of the blue in the form of Kim, and The Things. The dream didn't really make any progress from there.

I recounted the dream to Mrs. Wow, who remarked that it would probably be quite hard to beat those three in terms of practical help in such a situation.

"If anyone can molish a jockstrap out of gaffer tape, Kim can!" observed my wife.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 13 March, 2016, 11:11:41 pm
(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/random/2016_03_13_23_06_20.sized.jpg)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 14 March, 2016, 12:23:25 am
POTY!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 14 March, 2016, 07:22:47 am
Trapped in an underground shopping centre by one or more big scary hungry alien monsterthings wif big pointy teef.  We had an early-warning system in the form of a fibre-optic cable - if light stopped coming out of the end it was time to be very very afraid.  After quite a long time the big scary hungry alien monsterthings wif big pointy teef hadn't showed up so I let myself out of the fire exit and went home.

Currently trying to sell this one to R. Scott on the grounds that the finished product cannot be any worse than Prometheus.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 14 March, 2016, 09:44:51 am
My dad went to America and posted me some Green & Blacks beef flavour chocolate.  :sick:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 14 March, 2016, 03:26:50 pm
(http://www.ductilebiscuit.net/gallery_albums/random/2016_03_13_23_06_20.sized.jpg)

Thanks! It might be a bit... large in places.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 March, 2016, 10:53:21 am
Enjoying a nice hot bath is difficult when you find a full-size Aberdeen Angus standing athwart the tub, balanced delicately on the sides thereof.  What either of us was doing in Lapland is still a mystery.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Andrij on 20 March, 2016, 12:19:52 pm
Enjoying a nice hot bath is difficult when you find a full-size Aberdeen Angus standing athwart the tub, balanced delicately on the sides thereof.  What either of us was doing in Lapland is still a mystery.

Which did you eat last night, Leipäjuusto or Lappi cheese?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 20 March, 2016, 07:30:06 pm
Enjoying a nice hot bath is difficult when you find a full-size Aberdeen Angus standing athwart the tub, balanced delicately on the sides thereof.  What either of us was doing in Lapland is still a mystery.

Which did you eat last night, Leipäjuusto or Lappi cheese?

King prawn makhani, actually.  Rarely eat cheese these days, in order to keep the kine out of the jacuzzi.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 30 March, 2016, 08:09:41 am
My mum and I went up to Gracemount to attend an event that Barack and Michelle Obama were at. For some reason I took my cat with me, but didn't take a carrier for him. The Obamas were dancing on a stage and Pete wouldn't sit nicely with me and kept walking across the stage, but they didn't mind. Then I realised I had a hairdresser appointment and I should take Pete home first. My mum said she'd meet us outside and give us a lift, but we waited and she didn't turn up. Pete somehow turned himself into three identical cats, and I was finding it really difficult to keep all three of him together. I phoned a friend who said she'd come and pick us up and we arranged a rendezvous point. I managed to herd the cats, but then couldn't find my friend because I didn't recognise her because, as it turned out, she was wearing a false nose in the shape of a beak.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruthie on 30 March, 2016, 08:21:41 am
My mum and I went up to Gracemount to attend an event that Barack and Michelle Obama were at. For some reason I took my cat with me, but didn't take a carrier for him. The Obamas were dancing on a stage and Pete wouldn't sit nicely with me and kept walking across the stage, but they didn't mind. Then I realised I had a hairdresser appointment and I should take Pete home first. My mum said she'd meet us outside and give us a lift, but we waited and she didn't turn up. Pete somehow turned himself into three identical cats, and I was finding it really difficult to keep all three of him together. I phoned a friend who said she'd come and pick us up and we arranged a rendezvous point. I managed to herd the cats, but then couldn't find my friend because I didn't recognise her because, as it turned out, she was wearing a false nose in the shape of a beak.

Sounds like your standard YACF forum ride to me.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 30 March, 2016, 10:41:47 am
Chris Evans had a 'great idea' and somebody said 'No!'

Possibly the wrong thread . . .
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 30 March, 2016, 10:45:08 am
It was all about the terrible time Mr Piggy Pig had after he was persuaded by one Mr B.B. Wolf to upgrade his vegetable patch to Garden 10.  Mr Piggy Pig's shed got painted pink and sunflowers kept appearing in the middle of his cabbages.  When he tried to go back to Garden 7 all his vegetables disappeared overnight.

I may have been spending too much time reading about the Beast of Redmond unleashing a product both half-baked and wilful on an unsuspecting world.  Doubling the size and spacing of the icons on Adam Boyle's desktop is its latest wheeze.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 March, 2016, 11:11:24 am
My mum and I went up to Gracemount to attend an event that Barack and Michelle Obama were at. For some reason I took my cat with me, but didn't take a carrier for him. The Obamas were dancing on a stage and Pete wouldn't sit nicely with me and kept walking across the stage, but they didn't mind. Then I realised I had a hairdresser appointment and I should take Pete home first. My mum said she'd meet us outside and give us a lift, but we waited and she didn't turn up. Pete somehow turned himself into three identical cats, and I was finding it really difficult to keep all three of him together. I phoned a friend who said she'd come and pick us up and we arranged a rendezvous point. I managed to herd the cats, but then couldn't find my friend because I didn't recognise her because, as it turned out, she was wearing a false nose in the shape of a beak.

Sounds like your standard YACF forum ride to me.
LOTD!

(Laugh of the day  :D)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruthie on 06 April, 2016, 11:18:05 am
I was in the bike shop in Yarm, and they were trying to sell me dihydrocodeine in the form of a powdery substances sold by the slice from a sausage skin.  It was definitely the Yarm shop, but it was actually Cowley Cycles and it was Gary suggesting dihydrocodeine to enhance my performance.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Salvatore on 19 April, 2016, 09:39:08 am
I had 2 dreams last night, and both involved getting my bike nicked.

In the first I was in a cafe on a Mediterranean island, possibly Malta, and the woman in charge insisted I pay for my coffee with the exact change (1.70 in some unspecified currency). When eventually I went to retrieve my bike from the cafe's extensive bike shed it had gone.

In the second I had got out of my car (on the road between Ower and Romsey, just before the top of the climb from Ower) to look at something down the road - what it was which has now fled my memory.  When I turned turned round the car had gone. I was more bothered about the bike in the car than the car itself, which makes sense as I don't own a car IRL.

 IRL I had bought a lock during the day.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 20 April, 2016, 10:12:16 am
I was chased around the kitchen by a half cooked lobster. I know it was half cooked because the whilst the body was orange, the claws were still blue.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 25 April, 2016, 06:35:22 pm
Last night, I and several of my colleagues, including Faith from Buffy, had gone through a weird door in the fabric of the universe and ended up in an underground dimension populated by gnomes. One of them was looking after us. She was called Audrey. They were trying to pretend we were in a hotel, but really it was sort of a detention centre, and they’d hidden my suitcase including my bag with all my toiletries and contact lens fluid in, and I was really cross.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Tigerrr on 25 April, 2016, 06:57:28 pm
I had sex with the dog last night. I hope it was dream. He's been looking at me funny today I think.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: cycleman on 25 April, 2016, 10:00:02 pm
 :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 25 April, 2016, 11:29:36 pm
Wow.   :o

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Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 25 April, 2016, 11:59:30 pm
Wow.   :o

(click to show/hide)

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Tigerrr on 26 April, 2016, 05:58:43 am
I had sex with the dog last night. I hope it was dream. He's been looking at me funny today I think.
It was a dream, I know because my sister was watching and I don't have a sister. Phew!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 26 April, 2016, 07:52:55 am
Recently I've had two dreams in which I was flying. 

The first started in open space, including over a massive cañon in brilliant sunshine.  I didn't want to land but eventually I did, sure that I could take off again if I wanted.  It wasn't to be; every time I tried to get off the ground again something got in the way.  Now the world was all blue-green and red and there was no sun.

The next time I was in an urban environment and I'd really got the hang of things.  I could glide over the heads of the crowds and land anywhere I wanted and take off again. I didn't even need a superman outfit.

I think I have been watching too many super hero movies.

 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 26 April, 2016, 12:18:50 pm
Some sort of YACF track cycling day.  Barakta made an admirable effort at riding a track bike before declaring it to be a work of Stan, so returned on her trike with slick tyres and SPECIAL firmware for derny duty.

Meanwhile clarion was most upset that they wouldn't let him take a vintage 90s BSO on the track, even if it did have a 'mega' paint job.

Teethgrinder turned up late with a bucket of sausages, having ridden there via Marsh Gibbon.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 27 April, 2016, 02:00:47 pm
In was doing some work in the school grounds, which had transformed into a converted country manor. On the balcony were a load of grown ups dressed in yellow skin suits with 'Banesto' across the chest and aero helmets. As I finished my task I spied the cyclists doing circuits of a small fenced off courtyard so I jumped on my bike and rode over to them. My bike turned out to be a Wobbly John special, a back to front machine which pedaled in the correct fashion. On arriving at the cyclists, I spoke to one of them who I recognised as one of the escorts that helps kids too and from school. She explained that the cyclists were an O level performing arts group rehearsing heir final exam piece.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 27 April, 2016, 02:49:14 pm
Someone who I haven't seen for years and years (lives in India) wrote recently to say they'd had a dream about me. I was in Australia (never been there) with my son, who was taller than me (he isn't – yet). No bikes were involved, nor cups of tea, so I reckon it can't have been the real me.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ben T on 04 May, 2016, 02:36:15 pm
I was in Bradford (for some reason, have no connections) on a work trip. On the walk back from the office to the train station, on which I had to divert down a long crescent shaped road because the shopping centre I was planning to walk through was shut, there was a van parked half on and half off the pavement, such that I had to give way to a bloke with a pushchair coming the other way, as there was only room for one person to pass the van on the pavement.
When I'd got past the van I saw a bloke coming out of a house and loading an extremely expensive looking, large, video camera into the van. It was one of these BBC-style ones with a shoulder rest, and a mike sticking out. Assuming he was the van's owner, I shouted back "do you wanna not park like a wanker next time?!", he didn't reply but instead just lobbed the video camera at me. It was a good throw, but fell about a couple of metres short but the surprising thing was it didn't smash at all or even break. It just bounced along the pavement.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 28 May, 2016, 11:19:57 pm
Recently I have been annoyed by a particulalrly itchy bug bite adjacent to the crook of my right elbow. Driving me mad.

Potential gross out alert-
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 28 May, 2016, 11:21:54 pm
Pictures ! :)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 28 May, 2016, 11:26:04 pm
I don't know how to upload imaginary pictures Wooly ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 28 May, 2016, 11:37:01 pm
Sketching it in mspaint.exe would be canonical (http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/).  Use a grubby ball-mouse for authenticity.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 08 July, 2016, 01:19:14 pm
A couple from the last few days:

Firstly, that a very much alive Freddie Mercury was leading the UK in a sort of giant multi-media street party to celebrate our membership of the European Union.  If there's any justice at all, that's actually happening in a parallel universe somewhere.

Secondly, a fragment about a dragon blowing up an airbed.  This was notable because I woke up to the sound of ...a dragon blowing up an airbed.  There was a straining diesel engine accompaniment, so I assume some sort of vehicle-mounted pneumatics performing useful work nearby.  It was far too early in the morning to go and investigate.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Karla on 08 July, 2016, 03:40:45 pm
I dreamt that someone had nicked my carbon wheels.  Oh noes!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 10 September, 2016, 10:54:10 am
A black and white cat turned up, injured and battered and looking like it had been straying for a while. I took it in, fed it, debated calling it Domino, but then realised it had a very distinct beard, so called it Tumnus.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: mattc on 10 September, 2016, 12:18:29 pm
Sketching it in mspaint.exe would be canonical (http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/).  Use a grubby ball-mouse for authenticity.
I'm not sure "sketching" does that site justice. Amazing.

Meanwhile, I don't have any dreams to contribute, but co-incidentally a colleague chose to share a very NSFW dream yesterday. It wasn't at all funny - but very odd that he told us about it.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Pedaldog on 11 September, 2016, 11:23:56 pm
I was visited by my old, long dead now, cat "Spider", who told my mind it wasn't time yet. This felt so very real as she visited me whilst I was in my bed, the same bed I woke up in later on.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: lou boutin on 12 September, 2016, 10:33:29 am
Pdaldog, I often have dreams like that about my childhood cat Tiger and sometimes my dad. The last dream I had about my dad he told me to not be scared to jump in puddles, because I loved doing it as a kid. It got me thinking and so I jumped in the puddles next time it rained.  I was at work and a couple of colleagues joined me.  It was fun. 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ruthie on 12 September, 2016, 12:26:23 pm
I dreamed about ducks.  There were some eggs, and the shells cracked, and we grew baby ducks.  And cats.  There were cats.

Jeepers, I'm not surprised I'm tired this morning.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: lou boutin on 03 October, 2016, 02:22:36 pm
I dreamt that Tim and Kathy Pike had invited people to camp in their garden and Steph was playing with their ferrets.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 03 October, 2016, 03:45:57 pm
My son had lost a tooth and I had agreed to donate one to replace it. On my way to the hospital I accidentally pushed the tooth out with my tongue. I took it to the dentist to be replaced but dropped it on the surgery floor. I spent the next hour scrabbling around amongst hundreds of discarded teeth (real and training variety) trying to find it. I then noticed that I was in my army uniform and my unit was preparing for an imminent (within the next 4 hours) overseas deployment so finding the tooth became more critical.

I find it odd that I have regular army based dreams but never (that I can remember) dream about my policing past.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 10 October, 2016, 09:04:12 am
Towards 2 am this morning I heard the Inlaw Paw's emergency hooter.  I was up & out of bed in two shakes, shambled across the landing and cracked open his door. He was fast sleep - the hooter must have been in a dream.  Back to bed to find the missus awake as well, so I made us a cuppa.  Only an hour's sleep lost - less than usual, lately.

In future I'll wait to hear it twice.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Legs on 10 October, 2016, 10:42:13 am
After  2am bout of IRL bumwee that afflicted me, I had a very lucid dream about having discovered the secret of flight by putting a 10ft long frankfurter between my legs (obviously!).  I was a bit reticent about showing my talent to the world, so I contacted Simon Cowell who arranged for my act to be showcased on Britain's Got Talent by a Spanish transsexual called Ramón.  I spent a few weeks coaching Ramón and he was just about to come out on stage when the alarm went off...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 11 October, 2016, 05:57:00 pm
Waking up in our tent on Sunday, Cudzo Jnr said he had dreamed "about politics and electromagnetism".
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: HeltorChasca on 11 October, 2016, 06:37:26 pm
Waking up in our tent on Sunday, Cudzo Jnr said he had dreamed "about politics and electromagnetism".

Glad it went well! You survived which is always a good start.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 12 October, 2016, 08:35:27 am
Peter Capaldi has quit and I had been selected as the new Dr Who.

My first scene was the transmogrification from Capaldi Who to Fuzzy Who and my first line was "I hate it when that happens!"

We then did several scenes with me doing quick wardrobe changes and looking disgusted with my options. I insisted on a hat.

Then the Tardis set the alarm off..............
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 12 October, 2016, 08:52:56 am
Make it happen, I want a Fuzzy Who! :)
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 12 October, 2016, 02:54:47 pm
Some appalling dickmonkey has added identical matching brick façades to all the houses on the north side of Larrington Gardens Road.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: rafletcher on 31 October, 2016, 08:08:49 am
A couple this weekend. Saturday night I was on a coach, and I asked the guy in front of me where we were going, and he replied "St Berwick" which I interpreted as Berwick on Tweed, then I woke up.

And last night, a dream about carrots, and something about them being grown in the dark and turning orange because of the addition of a chemical, plus a machine that appeared to be uprooting them and re-planting them upside down.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 14 November, 2016, 05:08:16 pm
I was cycling through a very pleasant Mediterranean coastal town when I spied Fergie (https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=fergie&safe=strict&biw=1280&bih=930&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&sqi=2&ved=0ahUKEwiPqIvg3ajQAhWDIcAKHep6DLcQ_AUIBigB&dpr=1) of Black Eyed Peas fame, on a balcony overlooking the road, dressed in nowt but a mankini, twerking at me.

As I rode past, I shouted "Thanks Fergie" to which she gave me the thumbs up and said "You're welcome. Chappeau!"
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 19 November, 2016, 01:54:13 pm
A government helicopter was hovering at low altitude over our garden (which was the garden from my childhood home, because this one doesn't have room for a helicopter) taking photos of us through the window.  Because we'd had immigrants round for a barbecue the week before.  I waved and grinned at it.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 19 November, 2016, 03:29:32 pm
I was running away with Jessica Rabbit in last night dream by Peli. Funny thing is that she had no clue who Jessica is and had to look it up when we woke up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 19 November, 2016, 03:30:40 pm
I was running away with Jessica Rabbit in last night dream by Peli. Funny thing is that she had no clue who Jessica is and had to look it up when we woke up.

At which point the dream made a lot more sense?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: peliroja on 19 November, 2016, 04:01:10 pm
It was Jessica Rabbit being a supermarket assistant in Whole Foods, probably Portland. I must have been vaguely aware of who JR was.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 22 November, 2016, 08:09:43 am
I was in the USA at a school event for some sort of national celebration. The school was handing out American chocolate bars for the occasion: Nestle.  ??? The stuff full of smarties or similar. But I got something with no name but looking very European in its square cardboard box. Unfortunately it turned out to be white chocolate.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: CrinklyLion on 22 November, 2016, 03:37:56 pm
A nearly-week of being poorly, which has included some spikey temperatures and days of nothing-but-sleep, has led to many of those bizarrely hyper-real dreams.  Woke with a real start from one in which a holiday home we were staying in was burgled - and (actually) had to go and check both Cubs were still OK.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: rafletcher on 22 November, 2016, 03:59:21 pm
I was cycling along, when I was passed by a car. At this point it was raining, the car windows were obscured by raindrops and misted up, with barely discernible faces behind, looking at me. The car passes, and its now fine, the car is a convertible - a Mk 1 Cortina convertible no less, marked by it's rear light clusters.  The road curves left and right. The car starts to spin, it's beck end moving left, it jumps the verge and heads down into a ditch to the right of the road. Oh yes, I'm riding on the right.  I ride past, and see a body floating face down in the large expense of water in the ditch. 

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 22 November, 2016, 04:20:12 pm
Don't know what I was dreaming last night but I woke us both up howling.

After I had rather intense and vivid dreams, all new subjects. I tend to dream in mini series, as the story/dreams goes on and develop for years. I think my subconscious has got a new script writer.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 22 November, 2016, 04:26:32 pm
I was running away with Jessica Rabbit in last night dream by Peli. Funny thing is that she had no clue who Jessica is and had to look it up when we woke up.

She's been to the Wowbagger Academy for Trainee High Court Judges.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 28 November, 2016, 01:49:11 pm
Last night I was recounting to someone the wonderful idea I had had for a story. I had the whole thing sewn up pat, ready to get down as soon as I could get to paper or computer.  I told him the beginning and the middle bit, then realized I had forgotten the end. Then I woke up and forgot the beginning and the middle as well.  :'(
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 28 November, 2016, 06:58:50 pm
I was a total cow to bobb last night, but in my defence, he was being very irritating.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: LEE on 29 November, 2016, 11:59:16 am
They're just dreams.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: tiermat on 09 December, 2016, 09:16:20 am
A really odd one.

Myself and TLD were in a play park, kicking a cushion around, until it became all tattered and dirty.

Prince Charles turns up tells us that the cushion is a really valuable royal heirloom. He then went to walk away. He got halfway out of the park and picked up an assault rifle. He then started chasing us all around our town.

Then I woke up, more than a little bewildered!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 09 December, 2016, 11:51:19 am
Wow! I'd moderate that plumb porter intake . . .
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 09 December, 2016, 12:14:56 pm
I was in the cab of a lorry with Kajsa Tylen, crossing what could have been the Severn or Humber bridge.  She assured me that she was well inside "the zone" (ie. that bike mileage exceeded motorway mileage by a healthy margin).
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 10 December, 2016, 11:39:26 am
Bobb cashed in all his savings and I sold my flat and we bought a shell of a house in the far south of France which was also Lebanon. It needed lots of work doing to it, and the workies assumed we'd have our bedroom in the hall, and an electrician wired a hotel-style hairdresser into a socket in the hall. Everyone spoke French but I had to wear a burqa outside and had to go to tourist hotels to swim.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 10 December, 2016, 11:41:46 am
First bit sounds good. You can work on the rest!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 10 December, 2016, 11:46:19 am
To hear some of our pols it won't be so long before you will have to wear a burqa down south.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 03 January, 2017, 07:23:11 pm
I came back from cycling somewhere without my bike, and couldn't remember what had happened to it.  For reasons that are probably Freudian, my mum, brother and I immediately set off in the car to look for it, on the off-chance that I'd just left it somewhere and forgotten about it rather than having been bike-jacked.  Brother was unsympathetic because he was under the impression that I was rolling in money and could just buy a new one.  Mum kept ignoring my instructions to re-trace my route and went off in some random direction where I hadn't been.  We occasionally stopped and I asked random strangers if they'd seen a black Dawes with butterfly bars, which of course they hadn't.

I woke up before this was resolved, but I can confirm that the bike is okay, and I haven't seen either my mum or brother for about a decade.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 14 January, 2017, 11:30:18 am
We had moved into a converted church. On our second day there, when it was already miraculously(!) fully furnished and feeling lived in, Chris S turned up as our postman. He said that in future, as it was a converted church, he could deliver our post directly to the former vestry, which was now my office. Post Office regulation, apparently. The former vestry was where the chancel should be, at the end of what had been the nave, and it was pointed like the prow of a ship, but somehow it had been the vestry. So the next day we were out when the post came, but Chris walked in (he didn't have a key, there seems to have been no wall at the other end of the former nave) and put the post in the vestry-office. And there something heavy fell on his head and killed him. This meant I inherited all his bikes. But there was no tandem, I guess fboab (who didn't feature at all in the dream) must have kept that. We were all out at the time, honest, officer.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 16 January, 2017, 10:30:42 am
I was going to see a mate in Leeds. Suddenly I was cycling down the hard shoulder of the M621 and really flying. Dropped down the slip road at Elland Rd and turned left. The road turned into a back street in Roundhay and suddenly my pedals wouldn't turn. I could back pedal but couldn't make any forward movement and it didn't matter what gear I selected. Got there, had a cup of tea and said I had to get going because I needed to open the shop. For some reason I had mountain bike shoes and Look pedals but no problem clipping in...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Peter on 16 January, 2017, 10:34:29 am
Been at the "Plum Pudding" again?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 16 January, 2017, 10:39:51 am
 ;D
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 11 March, 2017, 02:58:45 pm
Well this morning one was rather good, very vivid and full of details.

Peli and me, was on an over night bus* tour. With random people we knew and some unknowns. The middle of the night - in the middle of nowhere - stop for grub was at a pub, come road side dinner, where they spoke Dutch**. The place was on an island like the ones in Croatia, but I'm not sure where we were.

Funny side note, even though it was in the middle of the night, it was a done in daylight.

We walked down some concert steps, thru a wire gate from the parking into the building. You saw the menu at one point***, ordered elsewhere and had to pickup the food from a hole in the wall across a table where people was sat and eating.

I picked up my burger but from some reason it were stacked with a tissue within. Which caused me only to pickup a third, spill a third on the people at the table - which they were ok with - and forgot the plate with the last third. The people then gave me the spilled bits and plate, well man came walking after me with it. I only just found out something was wrong as I was picking tissue out of my mouth****.

I lost Peli at this point, so was faffing with my phone which only wanted to boot into the terminal*****. While I was working with that SAS from this parish, turned up for a chat. In the background there was a telly going which the host was nattering about a new worrying thing, one should report to the police and stay away from. What ever it was, scarfs was one of the warning signs.

I then noticed that the place was getting pretty empty, so I put my trousers back on, eh? And SAS and me, made our way back towards the bus, in a slight hurry. Going up the concrete steps****** all the fellow passengers, from other busses too, were coming down in a meandering chatty stroll. SAS got a few steps ahead of me, when I stopped to chat with Peli and her sister.

I then noticed that they were very keen on talking about and stroking the scarf on them. Then it clicked about the TV show I wasn't paying attention to.

I shouted to SAS to get off the steps and on to the grass verge. We then legged up the steps as that was now the route back to the eatery, which we just came up from. We used a padlock to lock the wire fence and gate and ran towards the main doors.

Then Peli woke me up ...

* This might be from my latest journey to London, though it was on a train.
** Went to the My Old Dutch restaurant, even though the staff didn't speak Dutch.
*** Went to Subway and that is the silly thing you do to get your order, 2-3 staff to do your sarnie and you have to explain to each of them what you are having.
**** Every time I get a Subway I end up with wrapping in my mouth.
***** That is probably a mix from getting a new computer and setting it up in the terminal along with new update of the OS on my phone I got yesterday,
****** I think that is the left over from taking the tube in London.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 07 May, 2017, 03:55:08 pm
Kajsa had persuaded me to subscribe to Cycling Weekly, which resulted in the delivery of several large CAKES every week.  There were far too many of them and lack of storage space was becoming a problem.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 May, 2017, 03:59:03 pm
Lack of storage space for cake? Does not compute!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Tim Hall on 18 July, 2017, 01:05:29 pm
There I was riding my bike, somewhere round the edge of Croydon when the drugs began to take hold. Ahead of me was a tandem, which I caught up.  The stoker I immediately recognised as fboab (although she didn't look anything like fboab in Real Life), so I said hello. I surmised, correctly, that the other person was Mr Smith.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Pedaldog on 18 July, 2017, 08:59:52 pm
I was at the baggage collection carousel, some transport hub, and waiting for my red Norco Panniers. It suddenly seemed that the other 20, or more, people with me were waiting for their red Norco panniers too! Hundreds  of these panniers came round the carousel but none of them belonged to me, or any of the other people! Our RED NORCO PANNIERS had been dropped off in China and the travellers waiting in China had our RED NORCO PANNIERS!
Aargh!

This has some relevance as, back in 1991, my friend and I arrived in Mumbai and discovered that our bags, everything we'd packed for a year or two away, had gone on, to China.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Vince on 22 July, 2017, 04:52:53 pm
I must stop watching Fargo late at night.
The arch villain had hijacked 3 Saturn V rockets, disguised then as farm silos and shipped them to his secret base and was going to hold the world to ransom using them as ICBMs.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Jaded on 28 July, 2017, 12:25:38 am
I spent a while getting my Brompton up to scratch and admiring it. Then someone came along and said they'd like to buy it. I said £875 and they jumped at it. I wished I'd asked for more.

I don't have a Brompton.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 03 August, 2017, 03:50:00 pm
I wanted to make jerky for endurance fodder, so I bought a dead cow.  Complete. Then started wondering how I was going to butcher it.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: fuzzy on 03 August, 2017, 11:00:50 pm
I spent a while getting my Brompton up to scratch and admiring it. Then someone came along and said they'd like to buy it. I said £875 and they jumped at it. I wished I'd asked for more.

I don't have a Brompton.

We know you don't have a Brompton. You sold it for £875.

Yes, thats thge one, with the gloves and scarf in the pocket..........
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 05 August, 2017, 04:53:25 pm
Was driving my shiny new sports car away from the supermarket when a dirty green landrover pick up laden with very large rusty cast iron cyclinder heads with cooling fins, came round the bend on my side and I had to take sharp avoiding action which may or may not have scratched my shiny new sports car.  I leapt from my car and without hesitation picked up one side of the landrover and upturned it.  As I did so a bystander muttered to me 'that won't do it any good, you know' but I did it anyway.  Then I drove off wondering if maybe I should have left my insurance details.   This was odd because I don't have insurance for a shiny new sports car.  I was quite pleased when I woke up and realised it hadn't happened.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: delthebike on 05 August, 2017, 06:41:24 pm
I've been writing letters to the great and not so good. Including most of Team Sky, various BBC news presenters, Trump, Princes Philip and Harry, Mo Farah, and Tomsk (did it arrive Tom?). I also paid a visit to the Embassy of Democratic People's Republic of Korea so I could correctly address Kim Jong Un.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 31 August, 2017, 01:25:56 pm
Was given a commission by a very officious & somewhat censorious woman to photograph her important walk through a run-down semi-industrial area, shops & dwellings mixed with factories & warehouses, with bits of crane, gantry & catwalk sticking out of tall red-brick walls.  I had to use the equipment provided, which was an OM-1 with an unstabilized 500-mm Nikon prime lens (it worked, don't ask me how). Continual hassle with DOF, shake, moving back yard after yard to get stuff in focus; utter hell.  At one point I pulled the focussing sleeve back (shades of old 1-touch zooms): it left an inner cardboard sleeve sticking out in front so I pushed it forward again and said nowt. The thing was nose-heavy, too, and holding it up for some of the shots was murder. All the time I had the client's impatient, disapproving presence at my elbow.

Quite a relief to wake up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 August, 2017, 01:34:09 pm
I had an unfunny dream on Tuesday night: Trump had started a nuclear war and I was watching it on satellite TV with live commentary. When I say satellite TV, it was a view of the earth filmed from a satellite. First he nuked Norway, because everyone knew the Norwegians had done something to deserve it. "There goes Norway," said the commentator. "Those boys sure earned it." Although it was clearly not Norway but Sweden. Then we saw a big mushroom cloud go up over Denmark, and the commentator was very surprised. "We don't know what he's hit Denmark for. I guess this is it now. You'd all better go hide." Oddly, this was all in black and white. Then I was wondering if there was anywhere I could hide and then I woke up. Must stop paying attention to news.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: rogerzilla on 08 October, 2017, 08:17:39 am
I was supposed to be getting a double decker bus to work but the driver, the wheezing, obese, medical oxygen-inhaling, chain-smoking dogger from "Bad Education" let it drive off down a hill on its own, revving furiously in a cloud of exhaust fumes.  We then went to the nearest gents toilet where we were joined by Charlotte in full biker gear.  After the two of them had finished discussing what unspeakable things they were going to do to me, they relented and just held me down when Charlotte shaved most of my eyebrows off.

I may never sleep again.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ham on 13 October, 2017, 07:06:32 am
Staying in Edinburgh with Mrs Ham, I woke up early and decide to go for a ride. Leaving aside that this Edinburgh is on top of a much bigger hill, I'm going down, dodging the cars, really looking forward to coming back up. Half way down I realise I've left my bike at the top and I'm walking.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 17 October, 2017, 09:10:11 am
A confused dream which included (this is sad) being on YACF. I was reading a reply from Helly to me on a post about Liverpool losing to Everton in a match played at a Formula 1 conference centre. And that was motorsport, not French motels.  ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 17 October, 2017, 10:14:09 am
My old boss designated me as head of the project to build the company's high-speed train, with a 20,000-euro bonus for bringing it in on time. Details, details: in real life the company made computers and I ran word-processing development.

Woke up with a headful of plans, though, and dozed for half an hour reviewing them.  Felt quite dynamic. Breakfast changed that.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 18 October, 2017, 11:03:02 am
More of a nightmare really...

Some forumites had persuaded me to take part in a running event (I know!).  I was about 8km in (I know!) and thinking "I can do this, it's just pain" when a dog ran barking up to me, latched on to and started gnawing my belt (I know!) in he's just being friendly manner.  My attempts to prise him off resulted in a scratched bleeding leg and gnawed fingers.  Eventually some marshals appeared, detached the dog, and provided water to wash away the slobber and some proper PE kit from the lost property box (this is presumably where PE kit breeds).  RichForrest turned up with some proper trainers that didn't fit, but were an improvement on my DMs so I wore them anyway.

I was approaching the finish line (I know!) when I woke up screaming.  That hasn't happened for ages.

The neighbours' dog was barking.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 18 October, 2017, 11:47:01 am
I dreamt I was going out with a friend of the family (that I did go out with briefly when I was twelve).

We were sitting on her bed, which happened to be in the living room of my old house, and I was making scrambled eggs for us both.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 19 February, 2018, 09:37:58 am
I was at a YACF camping event. Kim was there, naturally, and she was telling people – or perhaps just me – about her very dear sister, who was seriously ill in hospital in Gloucester. Because Kim was unable to visit her, she asked me to do this on her behalf. The camping ended, I went home, then got on my bike and headed up the A38 to Gloucester. Then I woke up just as I saw the hospital building.

Odd. IRL Gloucester is more or less midway between Brum and Bris, I've never heard Kim mention a sister and I'm not aware of any reason (other than geographical proximity) why I in particular should be deputized to visit people for her.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: rafletcher on 19 February, 2018, 09:41:51 am
I quite often get “frustration” dreams wherein I’m trying to achieve something but am continually thwarted by circumstance. So no surprise the othe night - except the task I was failing in was getting our cat to the vet because it had a dislocated shoulder...
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on 21 February, 2018, 08:37:24 pm
Last night I dreamed I was in a swimming pool. George Galloway was also there. A pool attendant said to me "that's that Welsh MP bloke" and I responded "no, he's Scottish. He might be a rape apologist but he's OUR rape apologist." Then I told Gorgeous George about the conversation and he flicked me the Vs.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 21 February, 2018, 09:22:22 pm
I've forgotten all the details, but there was a pretty cool pterodactyl in it.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 22 February, 2018, 02:34:25 pm
I hired a car.  In Canada.  It turned out to be a RHD late 1960s Opel Rekord ???
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 07 April, 2018, 01:12:15 pm
I don't remember the plot, but it culminated in me shouting at Boris Johnson that if he was so good at time travel why doesn't he just sit at home being rich?

Nobody should have dreams with Bloody Stupid Johnson in them.   :hand:
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 April, 2018, 06:07:23 pm
The worrying thing there is Bodge Boj doing time travel. That means we'll never get rid of him!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 08 April, 2018, 09:25:16 am
Around 5:30 am, dreamt that a tramp grabbed my long scarf. I shot out a hand to grab it and soundly thumped the missus's pillows.

Fortunately we have a wide bed so I didn't soundly thump the missus. :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: tiermat on 01 September, 2018, 05:55:11 am
I had the most vivid dream that someone had stolen our garage!

I have checked and it is still there!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Nuncio on 16 January, 2019, 12:35:05 pm
I woke Mrs N up at 2am yesterday morning by shouting out 'What's that doing there?' I have no idea what 'it' was, nor where it was, let alone where it should have been. Suggestions welcome. Just to be clear, I was asleep at the time.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: woollypigs on 16 January, 2019, 12:35:55 pm
Saw 'it' cold?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Nuncio on 16 January, 2019, 12:41:53 pm
I don't think so. I've been walking round the house looking for out-of-place things. There are plenty, but nothing ringing any bells (including, coincidentally, the battery-operated door bell which has been in the hallway waiting for me to I install it - but it's been there for 6 months).
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 16 January, 2019, 12:45:06 pm
I had one where I'd been helping barakta run some sort of Bi event in a university library, but had sneaked off to coax stray cats in through the back window and home them in the stacks.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: bobb on 31 January, 2019, 07:57:22 am
I had a bit of good old fashioned of sleep walking from about 5:30 to around 7ish . I've only ever done that once before many years ago when I was a child.

The first time, all I was trying do was get outside for some reason, but I couldn't get the back door open. My dad just came down and told me to go back to bed. Which I did without trauma. This time however I'm going to be shitting myself come next bedtime!

Basically, I went the loo, came out, went into the bathroom, then on my way back to my room, I noticed this odd foreign looking toilet, but carried regardless and fell flat on my face on the landing. To cut a long story short the whole house was being turned into some kind of eastern European traditional home. Cats and dogs everywhere, horses in the garden, children running around.

They were filling every room with junk and all my stuff had gone. I started screaming at them to fuck off etc and they just shook their heads. They never said anything - just mouthed words. My room was full of shit, so I went into one of the spare rooms, but couldn't get comfy amongst all the tat. So I went to another room to find yet more peasants, I punched one of them and he kinda just turned to dust then disappeared. This goes on for a fair while and it's weird how you can actually have some rational thought even when sleeping. Maybe there's a word for that type of sleep. I just kept telling myself that this isn't real - it's a dream. You start doubt yourself though. It seemed if I looked out of a window, the whole area had been taken over by the peasants.

Eventually I told myself to sleep and it would be OK. I couldn't yet snap out of the dream though. There were piles of wooden boxes everywhere and one snagged on a pillow, so I whacked the box and it disappeared. Then I started whacking the shit out of everything and all is back to normal  :)

I've a carpet burn on my knee and a bruise on my elbow from crashing into some non-existent item  :P

There are loads of other little details too which I should be able remember in the future. But that will do for now!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 31 January, 2019, 08:07:04 am
Crikey.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 31 January, 2019, 01:02:15 pm
That is an odd one.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: perpetual dan on 22 April, 2019, 08:43:38 am
Last night i dreamt that I met a pony. In a side street of Brighton. It seemed afraid and to have a sore leg. I talked to it, got him to sit down. We chatted. Eventually he suggested i should phone the police. But they weren’t answering. Then we thought about where to find some grass.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Torslanda on 22 April, 2019, 04:11:11 pm
Sounds like you may have had too much of that before you went to sleep.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: perpetual dan on 22 April, 2019, 04:48:31 pm
:D
No, none of that, not even any cheese!

Sent from my LG-H850 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 23 May, 2019, 10:42:34 am
I was riding up an extremely steep, bumpy, grassy hill. Far too steep to ride up in real life. At the top there was a wide moor – and a game of cricket. Despite there being no buildings or roads anywhere near, they had a perfectly maintained, marked out pitch. I put up my tent at the edge of the cricket field. My tent had a transparent side, so I could watch the game all the time. And despite being on this wild moor (with cricket ground) it was very sociable, there were quite a few other spectators.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: MikeFromLFE on 14 July, 2019, 10:03:13 pm
Over a few weeks I've been constantly revisiting a town or city. The dreams have been sufficiently detailed that I've been able to start drawing a map of whatever this place is.
The city feels like an amalgamation of my brief childhood stays in Bolton ok n the 60s mixed with various continental cities. It's grey & grim.
There's a tramway on one street and a big building called "The Old German Market".There's steps down to an underground station.
Very, very odd !!

Sent from my Moto E (4) Plus using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 September, 2019, 03:08:34 pm
Last night I bought a pickup truck.  I've clearly been in USAnia too long.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 16 September, 2019, 09:42:09 pm
[REDACTED] was molishing a Big Gay Velomobile.  I want a Big Gay Velomobile now.  Or maybe a Little Gay Velomobile would be more sensible, given what usually happens when I get in velomobiles.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 24 September, 2019, 11:25:29 am
I was smuggling a bag of radioactive material along a canal (without the aid of a boat), stopped to take a picture of a really good Bridge For Crinklylion, and ...got woken up by inbound barakta on early release from the hospital, in the pissing rain, with a b0rked hearing aid.  Probably for the best.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: JonJo on 24 September, 2019, 02:24:48 pm
I dreamed of crocodiles which had huge clocks embedded in their backs. As these crocodiles evolved (very quickly) they realised that if they inflated the clocks they would become too large to be eaten by the bigger crocodiles.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 01 October, 2019, 08:09:17 am
The Inlaw Maw was cleaning out the parrot's cage (which goes to show that dreams are absurd, she never cleaned out a parrot's cage in her puff. The parrot was "hers" but cleaning it out was the Inlaw Paw's job).  The parrot had a go at her hand, so she grabbed it by a wing and threw it on the floor, saying "don't you peck me, you devil".  Parrot squawked and died.

Combination of true memories of the Maw and Peach from Lonesome Dove - something like that.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: rafletcher on 14 October, 2019, 11:28:19 am
Had one that spooked me last night! As is usual with me, the narrative is very disjointed.  Started with a woman revealing the image of another naked (dead?) woman on the floor of a room. Someone was at the door, and she wiped away the image. Jump cut to an old-style train compartment (like the Southern slam door ones), and I'm sitting next to the first woman, and I'm holding a cushion - beige corduroy as it happens. She asks me "is it all gone" and I shake the pillow, which emits a discordant string noise (there's something about  being a musician in there somewhere) . I answer "mostly" and turn to her. Her eyes are wide, one has a yellow pupil, the other eye looks like a pencil drawing. I look at the cushion, and it has the face of the other (dead) woman drawn in pencil, with one yellow eye.

At this point I wake, with that feeling of the hairs all over standing on end. Spooky!
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Efrogwr on 15 October, 2019, 11:15:54 pm
I dreamed that I dreamed that Mrs E and I were staying somewhere we hadn't been before in mid Wales. However, I was convinced that we had been there before, and done all the same things andeaten the same meals. This was puzzling.  Then I realised that I had dreamed our earlier visit and woke feeling relieved to know what had "really" happened.

Then I really woke up...

Nested dreams?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 16 October, 2019, 08:55:33 am
Are you sure you've woken up?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Efrogwr on 16 October, 2019, 03:58:27 pm
Are you sure you've woken up?


No.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 30 October, 2019, 02:43:09 pm
Odd one a couple of nights ago. I had become a rough sleeper by some sort of overnight magic carpet process. I was sleeping in the middle of the road in what looked one of the side streets near here, in bed, with mattress, sheets, duvet, pillows, but the actual bed itself had vanished. I had to get up to move my bed to let a car past. Apart from the mattress, it's probably an accurate omen.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 08 November, 2019, 08:41:52 am
Typical anxiety dream last night, doubtless engendered by a surfeit of tea and coffee:  hanging around before the start of PBP with my old chum Augustin. Went to get us a couple of coffees, but the machine hung fire on the second. There was music playing in the background, something in the style of Champs Elysées but the tune was different and words I could hear ran:

Sending polite regrets,
Pigtails, and cigarettes...


A bloke lounging at a table nearby said "shouldn't you be getting ready?" and I realized I was still in civvies. Went back to our van, climbed in to get to my dunnage and realized halfway that I'd left all my cycling togs at home. Went on searching all the same, while a bunch of scruffy kids appeared and began banging on the windows, plunder aforethought.

Woke up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 07 February, 2020, 07:55:27 am
Someone had built a sociable, recumbent (or semi-recumbent?), delta trike. A bench seat – literally a wooden bench, taken from an old railway station, judging by its shape and Edwardian chocolate brown colour – wide enough for two adults, with side by side pedals. The steering mechanism was unclear, and in fact the layout might even have morphed from delta to tadpole and back again while it was being ridden. Two men were riding it, one of them was Wowbagger. Then a third came running up behind, jumped over the bench, sat in the middle and started pedalling furiously. He managed to put a lot of extra speed into the machine, which was quite remarkable given he had no pedals. All three were wearing some sort of fur-trimmed robes, like medieval mayors. Then, of course, they crashed.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ham on 20 February, 2020, 05:01:00 pm
I've had a couple of recursive dreams lately, where I wake from a dream, in a dream.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 03 June, 2020, 01:45:46 pm
Last night's featured a novel storage medium, in the form of a giant VHS-style cassette where each spool was a stack of DVDs[1] in a jukebox arrangement.  I expect Techmoan will be doing a video about it in due course.


[1] My subconscious evidently hasn't got the hang of Blu-ray.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 11 August, 2020, 03:31:32 pm
Two slightly different dreams last night. In the first, I'd parked a car for a few minutes. It was my car in the dream, but it didn't properly resemble any car I had ever owned. Anyway, it got stolen.

In the second dream someone stole my bicycle. Again, I'm not sure that the bicycle in question actually resembled mine.

It dawned on me when I woke up that the second dream was far more traumatic than the first, which I suppose is how it should be.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Steph on 30 August, 2020, 08:07:12 pm
I don't know if we already have a thread for this; if so, please amalgamate.

It is for weird dreams and, if people feel daft enough, "interpretations". I had a really, really odd one a couple of days ago, while sleeping in the afternoon pre-night shift.

I had set off on my bike with a full camping load, and for some reason that involved going to my former spousal home in Horley. My ex-wife was ironing vast quantities of clothing, having set up a frame tent on the grassy area across the road, supplied by an extension cable. I had to climb over a shop-style counter to get to her, but she looked like my friend Emma, and had grown to about six foot six tall.

I came out of the ironing place to find my bike gone, but the tent and sleeping bag left behind, so I went walkabout to look for my bike, turning the corner and emerging onto Buckingham Palace Road in London. There was a family, Mam/Dad/Lad, trying to sort out hire bikes, which were actually tadpole trikes, in red, with no sprockets/pedals. I tried to assemble the boy's, which involved folding it in half, and the family took me to the hire centre, which was somebody's bedroom. There were pedal/sprocket assemblies in the wardrobe, so I wheeled the trikes next to the bed and started  attaching drive trains.

There followed a really detailed bit of dream about grub screws and plastic caps, but nowhere did a chain feature. Screwdrivers were in a toothbrush holder in the en-suite bathroom. Partway through, the occupant of the bedroom turned up, who was my old mandolin tutor Stuart. He showed me two large flat screen TV's he wanted me to take, and we disassembled them by taking off the screens, which rolled up like rugs, to reveal five planks laid side by side that formed the stiffening for each TV. We discussed whether the screens should be rolled around the two bundles of planks.

We rolled up the two screens, and attached a bundle of planks to each one, which we strapped to the rack of my bike, which had appeared on the street outside the bedroom... and that was it.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: JonBuoy on 30 August, 2020, 08:23:16 pm
Try here: https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=13224.0
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Steph on 31 August, 2020, 05:31:49 am
Ta!

Mods, can you merge please?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 31 August, 2020, 10:15:40 am
The details are fading but last night's Harry Potter/Star Wars crossover/mash up dream was a ridiculous amount of fun.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: The Movers on 31 August, 2020, 06:56:12 pm
Merged. Any risk of a cuppa?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Wowbagger on 31 August, 2020, 07:11:19 pm
In your dreams?
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 04 October, 2020, 12:58:55 pm
Not mine, my son's just told me he had a definitely weird dream last night. He was on a plane with some of his friends and the plane was going to crash unless he could explain to the them the endgoal of communism in 30 seconds. "The ultimate endgoal of communism is a stateless, classless society in which one produces what they can takes what they need" was the sentence he came up with. And the plane stayed aloft.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: T42 on 18 January, 2021, 03:24:28 pm
Last night. I had driven somewhere for a cycling event and was looking for a changing room.  The first one I found turned out to be the ladies' loo, whence I was chased with a rather raucous chorus. Next one I tried was the gents', which was full of blokes sitting shoulder to shoulder on the step up to the old-style L-shaped-wall'n'gutter urinal. "Full up!" so I left. Now my togs were supposedly in a big supermarket bag I was carrying, but when I looked down I found that the bag actually was my shorts, and they contained nothing but a couple of spare chain links and a receipt from the supermarket. "Shit, I've left them in the car" so I glided down two flights of stairs (dunno how I got upstairs to start with) over everyone else's heads and out into the crowded foyer.  As I got there, a giant cartoonish elephant, biscuity brown and 10 times life-size, popped up out of the river (there's a river????), bobbed up and down like a fishing float for a moment then plopped forward onto all fours and began walking ashore, towards us. Ditto that giant hippo and oh shit there's a great big tiger and a water buffalo...

At that point I woke up. Shame.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Jaded on 21 January, 2021, 12:59:24 am
Odd one last night.
Went outside (it was night time) and there were loads of people outside. It was quite bright and people were talking about this. It was a full moon, except when I looked at the moon it was actually just like the earth, with clear blue sea and land masses. Then someone said it was getting closer, and sure enough it was. I was thinking about how not having a moon would affect the weather and tides, when it became clear it was going to hit earth. It passed below the horizon, very close, and then we watched it on big screens, fed from satellites, as it smashed into the Southern Hemisphere. A period of calm before all hell broke loose and waves smashed all the buildings then I woke up.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Hot Flatus on 21 January, 2021, 07:31:29 am
And the motto of that is always go for a pee before bedtime
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Ashaman42 on 21 January, 2021, 09:20:46 am
In the process of setting up a Raspberry Pi yesterday evening I watched about a minute of Stranger Things.

Every dream that I can recall anything from last night revolved around the show and the characters. Very odd.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 21 January, 2021, 07:33:46 pm
Odd one last night.
Went outside (it was night time) and there were loads of people outside. It was quite bright and people were talking about this. It was a full moon, except when I looked at the moon it was actually just like the earth, with clear blue sea and land masses. Then someone said it was getting closer, and sure enough it was. I was thinking about how not having a moon would affect the weather and tides, when it became clear it was going to hit earth. It passed below the horizon, very close, and then we watched it on big screens, fed from satellites, as it smashed into the Southern Hemisphere. A period of calm before all hell broke loose and waves smashed all the buildings then I woke up.

What you don't realise is that you were occupying a 2 dimensional plane that was in collision with another 2 dimensional plane. As a result you were brought into existence in a different universe, an event you have rationalised as 'waking up'. In what may or may not be called reality, you had a lucky escape.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: cygnet on 21 January, 2021, 09:21:41 pm
A dream last night that this morning had me trying to find pictures of the back of a fire tender to establish what was visible from that perspective.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on 21 January, 2021, 10:28:44 pm
I was walking through a large wood, which was part managed, with fire roads and neat rectangular plots, and part wild. It was late spring or early summer. Then suddenly I was emerging from a small tunnel, just large enough to crawl out of. I was in a field at the bottom of a very steep, almost vertical, bank. At the top of the bank was a fence and beyond that another field. Two horses ran from the other field to the fence. A dark one jumped over the fence and landed on the almost vertical bank. I thought it would fall and was scared it would break its legs, but it landed and just stood there looking down at me, clinging to the bank by its hooves like an equine spider-man. The other horse, which was pale, found a way round the bank and came right up to me where I lay with my head and shoulders out of the tunnel. I thought they would both trample me but they just stared at me.

These were obviously two of the four horses of the apocalypse (no idea where the riders were) and put together with Jaded's world-crashing dream, these must be a great omen of doom. Or maybe not.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: De Sisti on 22 January, 2021, 09:20:27 am
Went to Russia with four other people. Soon after our return to the UK, female operatives of the KGB* were attempting to assassinate all of us. I forced myself to wake up when I was being chased by one of them. 

*In the dream they were identified as KGB agents.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: rafletcher on 22 January, 2021, 10:37:31 am
I can't recall much, except that it involved some rather unpleasant torture - of other's, not me, thankfully. Very odd. And just as I was waking, so mercifuly brief.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: slope on 22 January, 2021, 02:26:37 pm
I was out walking along a night city pavement, with my hands deep in huge pockets, looking down at my feet, confused by unrecognisable paint stained baggy trousers and badly scuffed leather slippers. When along came Keith Richards who said “hi Paul”. So I startled and said “oh, hi Keith”. He put his arm around my shoulder, so I ran arm around the small of his back. We carried on ambling. Nothing else was mentioned until I noticed Keith looking down at my slippers, I sensed he also wondered what this was about. I offered my apologies and explained I didn’t know whose slippers they were nor who the trousers belonged to. Without any answers, we continued walking embraced in silence.



After a timeless long while a huge Victorian pavilion not unlike Brighton’s appeared, one long side of which sported a series of tall narrow etched glass doors with panelled wooden bottoms. Keith said “do you fancy a swift half Paul?” I replied “yeah, why not?” Finally a way in was found through two doors wide open at the very far end. We shuffled, arms still entwined into a huge ballroom with chandeliers and an intercontinental ocean of blonde maple flooring. 



Immediately before us half a dozen or so circular linen clad dining tables occupied by a few depressed diners all eating huge steaming plates of boiled potatoes, smelling of school canteens. A flurry of waiters straight from La Coupole clad in ankle length white waist tied aprons waltzed stupidly around with silver platters at shoulder height, balanced on their ridiculous fingertips, just showing off.



Keith and I slowly surveyed the rest of the empty cavernous dancehall until we espied the bar at least a quarter of a mile away, running the entire width of the hall. We cocked our chins up slightly in respect, or fuckitiness for the grandeur of the place and slid across the vast room hoping to make the bar before last orders. As the ornate counter approached with its highly polished foot rail, it started growing in height, at least a dozen women bartenders clad in crisp white blouses buttoned to the neck and tight maroon waistcoats slowly disappearing behind the towering edifice.



By the time I said to Keith, “my shout” we were only half way up to the height of the counter. The endless row of hand pulled beer pumps we longed toward on our journey were invisible now. Up until then, there were no other people at the bar. Whilst trying think what to order 5 or 6 blokes arrived jostling around us and the concentrated silence was shattered by macho pub banter and the worship of Keith. I tried shouting to one of the unseen barmaids -  one leant over trying to find who was yelling at her. I raised my voice to a scream. She couldn’t hear what I said. The throng were obviously drunk and getting rowdier and rowdier. I cupped my hands either side of my mouth and yelled so loud my head split “TWO PINTS OF LAGER”. The reply was “WHAT?”



At this point Keith was hopelessly bobbling with the ugly men, their faces right in his, all yelling at him, telling him how great he was man. I put my hands back deep in my pockets turned and tried to depart in a manner which could convey my displeasure. 



Slowly the strange slippers shuffled me towards the distant open doors and I returned to wondering who they belonged to. No one noticed me – I looked back to check. Just before I took my leave a wing collared maitre d’ came rushing up from nowhere and declared I “was never to step foot in the establishment, ever again!”

My parting cry of “FUCK OFF PENGUIN” woke me up!



Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Jaded on 24 January, 2021, 02:11:03 am
And the motto of that is always go for a pee before bedtime

OMG, you had the same dream  :o
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 15 February, 2021, 05:43:14 pm
You know those full bladder dreams where you end up in a montage of all sorts of improbable reasons why you can't get to / use a toilet?

I had the EV charging version the other night.  I blame this:  http://theadventuresyndicate.com/resolution-race
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Mr Larrington on 16 March, 2021, 01:21:20 pm
Being the one in which a small group of people led by a fierce Kim lookalike* had to negotiate the independence of a small Caribbean archipelago with a bunch of braying blank-eyed zombies from the FOREIGN And Commonwealth Office in a wood-panelled conference room decorated with oil paintings of bewhiskered Tory grandees of yore.  I got very shouty at one Third Reich pinup boy.  I woke up before Dominic Raabid put in an appearance which I think means we won.

I shall shortly be pulling out the atlas to find out whether the St Wherever Islands actually exist and whether I can visit on me holibobs and be showered with gifts from a grateful populace.

* I'm pretty sure it wasn’t the real Kim on account of her wearing a dress.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: hubner on 17 March, 2021, 11:29:07 am
I don't usually remember my dreams but here's a couple I remember a bit:

1, I had to get my leg amputated between knee and ankle. The person who did only made the knife cut reaching the bone, then they disappered and I had to go around asking people with with a saw to finish off the job.

2, I'm old but look young. Some young people found out I'm actually old, they felt deceived and took revenge by setting up my phone to make a call which eats up my payg credits and I only stopped it by pressing some secret combination on the screen.

Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: rogerzilla on 26 July, 2021, 06:47:02 am
I got on the no.11a bus in Birmingham and it went via Dunwich.  The toilets were closed and the bus was going to be there for an hour, but it was ok because the driver agreed to buy us all lunch.
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: asterix on 26 July, 2021, 08:16:50 am
Was going to South Africa and got to the front of the passport queue only to find my passport was a leaflet with the image of a passport on the front.  Going back to get the proper passport I crashed the car into the side of a Royal Mail parcels van.  I never reached South Africa. 

Yesterday I did book a holiday for next year but not to South Africa, to Norway. 
Title: Re: Weird/funny dreams you've had
Post by: Kim on 26 July, 2021, 11:39:23 am
I got on the no.11a bus in Birmingham and it went via Dunwich.

That'll be the roadworks around City Hospital...