Yet Another Cycling Forum

General Category => On The Road => Topic started by: Jacomus on April 20, 2008, 08:02:12 pm

Title: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jacomus on April 20, 2008, 08:02:12 pm
What is it about riding a bicycle that makes something fire in oiks brains that makes them hurl abuse / pass comment on sed cyclist. It is like triggering a sub-set of tourettes which makes them shout the first thing that comes into their squitty little brains.

Last night on the way home:

"Oi mate! Your wheels are going round!"

wff ???

I've also had:

"GAAAAAAAAAAAY"

"W@nk-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"Oi mate! I f*cked your mum!"

"Get a car!"

"Gizza go mate!"


Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Chris S on April 20, 2008, 08:06:38 pm
Another good reason to ride with an MP3 player blasting away.

I've also had:

"Oi - that's my bike!"

"Get a life" (This from a completely pi$$ed snoutcast outside a pub)

"Can't afford a car?" (I have two)

"Waaaaaaaaa" whilst mooning at me in the middle of the street. Tch... East Dereham  ::-) Nuff said.

It's better than watching telly!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: saturn on April 20, 2008, 08:07:57 pm
Because you're different to them - you have a problem with that?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Treewheeler on April 20, 2008, 08:10:50 pm
Chav with Chavet in village to Tuggo.
 "Oy mate your...etc..."
Tuggo pulls over to respond to Chavet.
 "Do you know your boyfriend and I had penetrative sex only last week in the back of 'that' ladies shopping car..."
Rides off to a stunned silence...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kathy on April 20, 2008, 08:13:55 pm
I've also had:

"Oi - that's my bike!"

Me too - shortly before then being chased by the shouters, who, when I reported it to the police the next day, had previously kicked another cyclist unconscious. :-\
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Charlotte on April 20, 2008, 08:16:31 pm
I prefer to celebrate the half decent ones.

When riding my 'bent:

"Oi, do you get all your exercise lying down, luv?

 ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on April 20, 2008, 08:16:49 pm

"Oi mate! I f*cked your mum!"

I hate it when my dad gets drunk near my commute...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Notsototalnewbie on April 20, 2008, 08:17:50 pm
I'm not sure. Had a bunch of them pretend to jump out in front me the other day, the little darlings, they found that very amusing.

Lots of random shouts on one bit of last night's FNRTTC (just where was that!?)

'Wankers!' was one (never been called that before!!)

And 'wooo Girl Power'! Even though there were only about half a dozen of us 'girls' in our 36-strong group.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rower40 on April 20, 2008, 08:18:10 pm
You've never been heckled properly unless you've ridden a recumbent through a dodgy 'hood.

"Where're your handlebars?" is a favourite.  (Although they wouldn't get the spelling of 'Where', 'are', and 'your' right.)

"Gizza Go" is another sure-fire hit on the game of Chav-Verbal-Bingo.

Brompton-riding can often lead to calls of "Watchoo doing onna kid's bike?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Treewheeler on April 20, 2008, 08:18:14 pm
I've also had:

"Oi - that's my bike!"

Me too - shortly before then being chased by the shouters, who, when I reported it to the police the next day, had previously kicked another cyclist unconscious. :-\

 If I stay in th U.K any longer the I shall be riding with an extendable police baton and mace spray as standard equipment...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Treewheeler on April 20, 2008, 08:19:08 pm
I prefer to celebrate the half decent ones.

When riding my 'bent:

"Oi, do you get all your exercise lying down, luv?

 ::-)
I do believe she may burn a few calories in that fashion... ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ian H on April 20, 2008, 08:19:52 pm
Tandem and trike seemed to bring out the choicest idiocies. Such as, when my wife and I were on the tandem - "Oi! Look, a tricycle!" (Yes, you read correctly.)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on April 20, 2008, 08:20:08 pm
Strangely enough, I have much more positive things shouted or said...

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Treewheeler on April 20, 2008, 08:24:28 pm
Tandem and trike seemed to bring out the choicest idiocies. Such as, when my wife and I were on the tandem - "Oi! Look, a tricycle!" (Yes, you read correctly.)
Actually, I hate to correct you Mr Heresy...
 But the correct insult is to shout "Oy mate you got a free weewl byke mate"
   'Kiss my two wheel drive unit' is a response often lost on the average Chav/Chavette...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: cc93 on April 20, 2008, 08:28:12 pm
Strangely enough, I have much more positive things shouted or said...

Same here

2 comments on this mornings misty ride, both compliments on the flashing Solidlights - the best being the bemused dog owner apologising for his mutt hiding behind a tree, 'your light scared him'  :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Hot Flatus on April 20, 2008, 08:32:57 pm
I had someone shout "you f***ing c**t" at me from a passing car as I staggered home on foot after a curry and some beers, last night.


How ever did he know?  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Clare on April 20, 2008, 08:36:00 pm
Another from FNRttC, a young lady stood at the bottom of one of the hills yelled something along the lines of "It's the Tour de France, Fwooooar" at the front runners, then as I went past she said "C'mon, speed up a bit, you're going too slow."

Like I needed telling  :(.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Treewheeler on April 20, 2008, 08:39:59 pm
I had someone shout "you f***ing c**t" at me from a passing car as I staggered home on foot after a curry and some beers, last night.


How did he know?  ???
Cut you deep hearing such home truths....?
     
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jaded on April 21, 2008, 12:26:20 am
I had someone shout "you f***ing c**t" at me from a passing car as I staggered home on foot after a curry and some beers, last night.


How ever did he know?  ???

I told him.

Sorry.


 ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jaded on April 21, 2008, 12:30:15 am
I once had some people throw money and shout shout "Kant" at me.

How did they ever know I was an impecunious philosophy student?

Anyway I got my own back. I shouted "Descartes" back.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: kyuss on April 21, 2008, 12:47:27 am
A couple years back out on the good bike and full lycra, wearing my buff in a pirate stylee, some 16 year old girl shouted 'Oi Pantani' as I flew by. I was surprised a young chav lass would even know who Pantani was let alone his preferred style of facial hair and headgear. Then I realised she had more than likely yelled 'Ya fanny'.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rogerzilla on April 21, 2008, 09:07:33 am
From a big-wheeled Saxo on the 2006 Dun Run:

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

That's about all I could make out between the din of the bean-can exhaust and the Doppler effect.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Charlotte on April 21, 2008, 09:27:18 am
If I stay in th U.K any longer the I shall be riding with an extendable police baton and mace spray as standard equipment...

Sadly, I have to leave mine at home.  Carrying either of those items is illegal. 

Fortunately, a Zefal HPX in one hand anna blindingly bright tactical flashlight in the other is a very close approximation...

:demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Chris S on April 21, 2008, 09:31:30 am
If I stay in th U.K any longer the I shall be riding with an extendable police baton and mace spray as standard equipment...

Sadly, I have to leave mine at home.  Carrying either of those items is illegal. 

Fortunately, a Zefal HPX in one hand anna blindingly bright tactical flashlight in the other is a very close approximation...

:demon:

And if a car pulls alongside you when you are riding, I've read in another place of an excellent jape. Lob one of those 130db rape alarms (one that emits a foul smell too) through the passenger window.

Edit: Best to check it's not a police car or your mate or the vicar before launching said attack.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: cc93 on April 21, 2008, 09:31:51 am
Going over Watership Down in a group a while back, we passed a pile of rust which might once have been a Vauxhall Nova complete with pimply youth, can of coke if one hand, MacRatburger in the other who yelled out 'Get A Life'

The group as one dissolved into laughter  :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Charlotte on April 21, 2008, 09:32:44 am
And if a car pulls alongside you when you are riding, I've read in another place of an excellent jape. Lob one of those 130db rape alarms (one that emits a foul smell too) through the passenger window.

Edit: Best to check it's not a police car or your mate or the vicar before launching said attack.

You're a bad man, Chris  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Chris S on April 21, 2008, 09:36:10 am
Riding at the back of a group once, a car down came around the corner up ahead rather aggressively. The yob in charge was on the phone.

"Get off the phone" shouts our leadout man, helpfully.

"F*CK OFF YOU C*NTS" comes a loud voice from the car as it passes me at the back.

"He says 'Thank You'" I call out.

Much giggling ensues.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: border-rider on April 21, 2008, 09:36:45 am
Going over Watership Down in a group a while back, we passed a pile of rust which might once have been a Vauxhall Nova complete with pimply youth, can of coke if one hand, MacRatburger in the other who yelled out 'Get A Life'

The group as one dissolved into laughter  :)

Weird.  Exactly the same thing happened to us in exactly the same place. You weren't out with Newbury RC in the winter a couple of years ago where you ?

:)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jacomus on April 21, 2008, 10:39:18 am
If I stay in th U.K any longer the I shall be riding with an extendable police baton and mace spray as standard equipment...

Sadly, I have to leave mine at home.  Carrying either of those items is illegal. 

Fortunately, a Zefal HPX in one hand anna blindingly bright tactical flashlight in the other is a very close approximation...

:demon:

And if a car pulls alongside you when you are riding, I've read in another place of an excellent jape. Lob one of those 130db rape alarms (one that emits a foul smell too) through the passenger window.

Edit: Best to check it's not a police car or your mate or the vicar before launching said attack.

I have copyright on that move. There were people handing out rape alarms for free as I left the office, so I took one and shoved it in my jersey pocket. Then when some utterly moronic woman overtook me and swerved in at the anti-turrist barries outside parliament, once I had screeched to a stop, as had she in the inevitable traffic jam. I attempted to reason with her, but only recieved abuse, so popped the tab on the alarm and chucked it into the footwell behind her seat.

Take that!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on April 21, 2008, 10:40:18 am
I have copyright on that move. There were people handing out rape alarms for free as I left the office, so I took one and shoved it in my jersey pocket. Then when some utterly moronic woman overtook me and swerved in at the anti-turrist barries outside parliament, once I had screeched to a stop, as had she in the inevitable traffic jam. I attempted to reason with her, but only recieved abuse, so popped the tab on the alarm and chucked it into the footwell behind her seat.

Take that!

Sir, you are a genius!  We need a "not worthy" smiley...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bobb on April 21, 2008, 11:17:54 am
I like to give as good as I get. A couple of years ago riding through a busy area on the way to work, some spotty chav informed me that I should work harder to be able to afford a car. The lights were red, so I had plenty of time to "chat" with it. I informed it that if he were to try and sell his ancient Mk 1 Chavalier, he'd be very lucky to get 200 quid for it. And if I were to sell the bicycle I was on I'd be disappointed to get less than 2 grand. The lights went green, he didn't move because the traffic was so heavy - I just rode round all the cars flicking him the bird.

Another time on tour:

Bloke in cage: "Why don't you get off the FUCKING ROAD!!?"

Us: Bikes down, chests out "COME ON THEN YOU FUCKING CAAAAAAAAAHNT"

Bloke in cage: Head down, into first, sheepishly drives off...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on April 21, 2008, 11:20:24 am
Ned in west Edinburgh: Give us a go on your bike love
Me: It's too big for you and it doesn't have stabilisers
Ned: *stunned silence*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Charlotte on April 21, 2008, 11:35:02 am
'Nuff respek' Kirst  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rogerzilla on April 21, 2008, 11:54:41 am
Unfortunately my brain is far too slow in such situations, and my middle finger normally beats it to a response.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on April 21, 2008, 11:59:54 am
Ned in west Edinburgh: Give us a go on your bike love
Me: It's too big for you and it doesn't have stabilisers
Ned: *stunned silence*

POTD!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on April 21, 2008, 12:19:59 pm
Rehearse the following:

"Sir, your blatant verbal aggression does little to compensate for your miniscule and altogether inadequate cock."

When you get the verbal abuse, slow down and deliver in your best RP. Then cycle off. You generally have window of about a minute to get away before they realise they've been insulted, but be ready with the hyperdrive, some chavs have an atavistic response - they figure they've been insulted even if they have no idea how.

I did this yesterday to a bunch of four at the bottom of Holloway Rd. Usual fine specimens clutching their Stella security blankets. The best they could come up was shouting 'arghhhhh' at me, as though they'd just suffered rapid lower bowel depressurization.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Greenbank on April 21, 2008, 12:25:54 pm
Oxford, 2.30am, nearing the end of The Dean 300.

Him: "Your1 going to get raped up the a***."

*much sniggering amongst group*

Me: "Is that an offer sailor? You're not my type though, I'd stick with your current boyfriend if I were you, he looks much nicer."

*group falls about laughing and taking the piss out of him and the bloke standing next to him*

It's all about redirection...

1. You just know they'd spell it like this if they wrote it down.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on April 21, 2008, 08:22:35 pm
I (or should that be we?) was heckled by a granny at a bus stop.
"Oooh, look, it's the Goodies."
We were on the triplet at the time.
I had to ask who the Goodies were. I was in bed when they were on the telly, as I was only a few years old then.
I had a boy of about 10 moon at me. I told him that his arse was spotty, which made his friends laugh. He told me that his arse was better than mine.
I must add, that I have never shown my arse to a boy before. (Your honour)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wascally Weasel on April 22, 2008, 10:41:01 am
The oddest one I've ever heard was uttered by a Greater Spotted Youth of the Herefordian variety.  For anyone who knows Hereford, I was riding west on the Belmont Road with Ms Weasel last summer when said youth offered the bemusing phrase "You may think you're saving the planet but you've still got a hole in your ass".

I'm still confused by that.

I'm better at reacting to simple insults like "Wanker!" 

I shout "Frequently" in  response.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Notsototalnewbie on April 22, 2008, 11:38:37 am
Unfortunately my brain is far too slow in such situations, and my middle finger normally beats it to a response.

I'm similar. The yoof that pretended to jump in front of me the other day got a simple bellowed cry of 'TWAT!' over my shoulder. Much laughter ensued from his mates.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hazeii on April 22, 2008, 11:47:30 am
I decided to stop and 'chat' to a couple of local youths who decided to mouth off at me; it turned into a bit of a shoving match.

Then a car pulled up, the kid's mum got out and told them to go home, *right now!*. Which they meekly did :)

Separately, the local girls have taken to shouting "Fancy a shag?" at passing cyclists - but I'm not stopping for them.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: onb on April 22, 2008, 01:51:35 pm
I decided to stop and 'chat' to a couple of local youths who decided to mouth off at me; it turned into a bit of a shoving match.

Then a car pulled up, the kid's mum got out and told them to go home, *right now!*. Which they meekly did :)

Separately, the local girls have taken to shouting "Fancy a shag?" at passing cyclists - but I'm not stopping for them.



I would have though a good retort to that would be "Idont think your mum will give you enough spend"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bobajobrob on April 24, 2008, 06:48:29 pm
I had a good one today from some kids in Gloucester. "Hey mate, fight the power *thumbs up*" ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Geraldom on April 24, 2008, 07:16:05 pm
Was out cycling with my girlfriend (now the wife) when the Classic "nae saddle on that bike pet" was uttered. To my amazement sharp as a tack she, very much a non cyclist and not used to absuse retort "nae c*ck in your trousers, arsehole". Classic, and you could hear his mates laugh even when well in the distance...

I can never think of anything better than "arsehole", although to be fair abuse is not
a regular occurence....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pedaldog on April 24, 2008, 07:20:42 pm
I managed a good 'un on the Recumbent.
Yoof wot is really 'ard "Wot the FU**S 'at?"
Me (wot was prepared having seen them in advance ) "It's your mother and I'm riding her rough!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cunobelin on April 24, 2008, 07:42:15 pm
Like most of you - the problem is actually thinking of it at the time. Mot reponses com 5 minutes later after you have reflected.

Once though  managed.


Gunwharf Quays at lights, woman in 4X4 pulls alongside in ASL revving engine, looked across, and pointed out - "This is a bike area only, as that is obviusly a car  - are you the bike?"

Count to 10 while she worked that one out .....

Not  a happy little driver!

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on April 25, 2008, 08:52:26 am
Oik walks up to me in Peckham at the traffic lights and says "Wot you gonna do if I push you over".

I replied "I'll hit you so hard you'll fall down twice" in a gophel accent.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on April 29, 2008, 06:46:34 pm
I let us all down tonight and I'm sorry. Some arsehole with a dog and a golf club saw me cycling home tonight and said "you've got lovely boobs, can I have a feel of them?" All I could think to say was "you're a twat" but I spent the rest of the journey thinking of what else I could have said and if I see him again I'll try to remember.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jaded on April 30, 2008, 12:02:59 am
"Yeah, go ahead, I bought them in Thailand."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jacomus on April 30, 2008, 12:17:58 am
I let us all down tonight and I'm sorry. Some arsehole with a dog and a golf club saw me cycling home tonight and said "you've got lovely boobs, can I have a feel of them?" All I could think to say was "you're a twat" but I spent the rest of the journey thinking of what else I could have said and if I see him again I'll try to remember.

From my gf, directed at persistent oik in a bar.

Oik - "Phwoar! You've got f*ckin' awesome tits, can I have a feel? I'd love to f*ck you later."

Miss JrG (haughtily) - "I'm sorry, I'm not a lesbian." *Walks away*

The guy spent aaaaaaages figuring out how she had insulted him, eventually gave us the finger and slimed off.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on May 02, 2008, 11:54:56 am
Not shouted but-
Passed at speed last night by XR3i in good condition- well looked after- bean can exhaust- bass rumbling from sound system- glass marker pen written on the back 'Catch Me If You Can!'

Car stopped at traffic queue so I drew alongside and tapped on the drivers window

'What?' asks the driver.
I pointed at the writing on his window, said "I did", smiled and rode away 8)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Charlotte on May 06, 2008, 04:21:15 pm
Fuzzy - you're THE man  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on May 06, 2008, 08:46:55 pm
Not shouted but-
Passed at speed last night by XR3i in good condition- well looked after- bean can exhaust- bass rumbling from sound system- glass marker pen written on the back 'Catch Me If You Can!'

Car stopped at traffic queue so I drew alongside and tapped on the drivers window

'What?' asks the driver.
I pointed at the writing on his window, said "I did", smiled and rode away 8)


Disgracefull behaviour fuzzy!
You should have claimed your prize before riding off. ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Chris S on May 06, 2008, 08:53:03 pm
Three from Saturday's Severn Across:

1. In Hawkesbury Upton, amidst all the 4x4's turfing out of Badminton Horse Trials; "Bloody Cyclists!". There were three of us, with priority against a flow of at least six 4x4's hogging the road.

2. In Wootton Bassett; "Get a F*cking Car!". What mirth... I've never heard that one before...

3. Near Wroughton; "My mate wants to shag you!". I erm... well... had I not been so tired... you know...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: RichForrest on May 07, 2008, 04:49:57 am
http://yehudamoon.com/index.php?date=2008-05-03  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rogerzilla on May 07, 2008, 08:52:28 am
I let us all down tonight and I'm sorry. Some arsehole with a dog and a golf club saw me cycling home tonight and said "you've got lovely boobs, can I have a feel of them?" All I could think to say was "you're a twat" but I spent the rest of the journey thinking of what else I could have said and if I see him again I'll try to remember.
There's a story about Wendy James (Transvision Vamp) being repeatedly heckled by a fat shirtless oik in the moshpit to "get yer tits out".  Eventually she screamed back at him "Why? What's wrong with yours?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on May 07, 2008, 08:30:41 pm
Had another this evening :)

Just crossed Cookham Bridge in towardsd Bourne End. A number of cars passed me OK but one hung back. After a while it passed me with the driver shouting "You're holding me up you wanker!"

A few yards up the road he was waiting to turn right. I stopped beside him and told him I was making progress in the same direction as him, maybe slowing him down a little and that it was the queue of stationary cars and vans in the opposing lane that meant he couldn't get past. He gave me a perplexed but gradualy overheating glare, I smiled and rode away 8)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: richie_b on May 07, 2008, 11:01:36 pm
My favourite was from a few months ago, riding into town up a slight hill at 15ish mph, I hit a red light.
On stopping, a very neatly dressed ped looked down at me (I was riding a recumbent & it was about 5C, so a wee bit warmer then the past few weeks) & asked, "is it not a bit cold down there?"
Whilst thinking of quick replies is something I'd love to be able to do, I'm still unsure of how I could answer this one well.
I'm afraid I managed just , "yes."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jethro on May 08, 2008, 03:10:34 pm
Have you noticed that most of the idiots that shout abuse at cyclists wear baseball caps? 

I have been reliably informed that the wearing of said baseball cap is to hide the scars from surgery of removal of their brains.

When these idiots have taken so many illegal drugs over the years, it slowly kills off the brain cells until their are none left, so not really worth returning the abuse at them.

Shame really I suppose!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on May 08, 2008, 05:55:56 pm

There's a story about Wendy James (Transvision Vamp) being repeatedly heckled by a fat shirtless oik in the moshpit to "get yer tits out".  Eventually she screamed back at him "Why? What's wrong with yours?"

Oh, Wendy James. I remember her saying in a Smash Hits interview that she would bet anyone a million pounds that she'd win an Oscar by the year 2000.

I wish I'd written in and taken that bet.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rower40 on May 08, 2008, 06:00:49 pm
My favourite was from a few months ago, riding into town up a slight hill at 15ish mph, I hit a red light.
On stopping, a very neatly dressed ped looked down at me (I was riding a recumbent & it was about 5C, so a wee bit warmer then the past few weeks) & asked, "is it not a bit cold down there?"
Whilst thinking of quick replies is something I'd love to be able to do, I'm still unsure of how I could answer this one well.
I'm afraid I managed just , "yes."
In those circumstances, I've been known to reply "I'm scared of heights."  If the very neatly dressed ped is of advancing years, and perhaps going a little grey, then a better answer would be "I think, Sir, you're the one with snow on top."  (If you can get away with it...)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Valiant on May 11, 2008, 10:10:46 am
I had "Get a fucking helmet you cnut" by a city type this evening. I just shouted "I got one where it really matters"

The other day I had an idiot jump out in front of the trike to scare me on Burdett road, he thought I'd stop lol :demon: In fairness I did... after he'd stumbled backwards and landed on his backside and the chainring was a couple of inches from his chin. "Do you want a close shave then?" *turn chainring slightly* he ran off.

Normally though, the trike brings out the better nature in people, smiles, polite comments, space etc.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: PaulF on August 19, 2008, 06:04:17 pm
Coming out of the park  into Roehampton this afternoon I saw a group of kids, but I wasn't worried, I've read yACF and I was prepared for whatever the road through at me.

Sure enough there was a cry of "lend us yer bike mate"

And the training cut in, I was able to draw back on the accumulated wisdom:

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on August 20, 2008, 01:07:36 pm
 ;D :thumbsup: ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: saturn on August 20, 2008, 01:49:09 pm
Sure enough there was a cry of "lend us yer bike mate"


An old chap amongst a group of ramblers called this to me last week, no doubt to cover his embarrassment as I swerved around him as he crossed the road in front of me without looking while his friends all waited - the best I could manage at the time was "give us a push to the top of this hill and I'll think about it on my way down the other side".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: janm399 on August 20, 2008, 02:10:13 pm
I've heard all the usual shouts, but once and only once, I managed a reply. A souped-up Ka with four lads was overtaking me and one of them shouted, "Excuse me, are you gay?", followed by the usual laughs from the car. In a moment of clarity, I shouted, "For you baby, I will be". He turned bright red and his mates exploded with laughter, beeped and were off.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on August 20, 2008, 03:31:21 pm
I've heard all the usual shouts, but once and only once, I managed a reply. A souped-up Ka with four lads was overtaking me and one of them shouted, "Excuse me, are you gay?", followed by the usual laughs from the car. In a moment of clarity, I shouted, "For you baby, I will be". He turned bright red and his mates exploded with laughter, beeped and were off.
:thumbsup:
This is a well-proven winning strategy. I liked Stephen Fry's version that he used against school bullies:

"ooh, ooh, please don't touch me - I'll just get an erection you know."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jasper the surreal cyclist on August 20, 2008, 03:46:07 pm
"Why don't you get a car?"

I've got one, and it is so much nicer than yours........
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tiger on August 20, 2008, 06:08:12 pm
I was shouted at last night. Inspired I replied 'Fuck off wankers'. That'll teach them not to mess with me!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on August 20, 2008, 06:15:54 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jaded on August 20, 2008, 06:22:54 pm
Two whales with two calves revved their Vauxhall Frontalloberemoved 4x4 at me and my daughter on Sunday as we were going for the ferry.

The female whale mouthed something at me through the window so I just fingered her.

She is probably still quivering now - she certainly was then.

We were going to go on Ryde Pier so I knew we were safe. It would have collapsed under their weight.


Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: little miss mac on August 20, 2008, 07:57:43 pm
"Come here then, I'll smash your fucking face in."

So said the appalling chavonnaBSO to a cyclist this evening who pointed out that the red light at a ped crossing was there for a reason when the prick almost knocked over a pedestrian.

I was quite worried for the nice cyclist until I saw that the chav was not trying very hard to catch up with him to carry out the smashing.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spindrift on August 21, 2008, 11:09:26 am
I had "Mate, do me a favour and get on the left!"

as I was approaching my right hand turn.

I pointed out to the WVM that he had driven over the zebra that i was waiting at, stationary, as a woman got ready to cross.

Fear and incomprehension flickered over his face.

  "Nah"

he said.

Fraid so mate.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tourist Tony on August 22, 2008, 03:10:26 am
Going over Watership Down in a group a while back, we passed a pile of rust which might once have been a Vauxhall Nova complete with pimply youth, can of coke if one hand, MacRatburger in the other who yelled out 'Get A Life'

The group as one dissolved into laughter  :)
Late to this thread, but doesn't this one say all that needs saying?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Maffie on August 22, 2008, 10:19:58 am
If I stay in th U.K any longer the I shall be riding with an extendable police baton and mace spray as standard equipment...

Sadly, I have to leave mine at home.  Carrying either of those items is illegal. 

Fortunately, a Zefal HPX in one hand anna blindingly bright tactical flashlight in the other is a very close approximation...

:demon:

I have a nice alarm spray which tags people with uv fluid and boy does it sting. Got some on my hands so dread to think what will happen if some idiot gets it in their face.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Snugsy on August 22, 2008, 12:57:31 pm
Last night: Riding along a narrow road with cars parked all down one side, rolling along behind a dithering Discovery with no room to pass it.

Some oik on the pavement shouts "Go on, pedal!"

Why? And how?And what for?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: TheLurker on August 22, 2008, 01:07:34 pm
Well at least it was _moderately_ constructive advice.  :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: disrail on August 22, 2008, 01:28:01 pm
Well the explaoits of our Cyclists at the games haven't been lost on even the most cranially challenged of Scousers.

On the way back from a ride with a clubmate two scallies in a Ford focus shouted, laughed and pointed "Bejings that way mate!"

They even pointed South-West ish, which wasn't too far off! After that incredible feat of brainpower and wit, they stopped at the lights and then tried to reverse into us swerving left and right as we approached. We nestled into the traffic and were glad they turned off.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: dkahn400 on August 24, 2008, 11:06:47 am
Going over Watership Down in a group a while back, we passed a pile of rust which might once have been a Vauxhall Nova complete with pimply youth, can of coke if one hand, MacRatburger in the other who yelled out 'Get A Life'

The group as one dissolved into laughter  :)
Late to this thread, but doesn't this one say all that needs saying?

I was told this story at the first cafe control at Bude on the 2005 Kernow & SW. With my beans on toast on the outdoor table in front of me, and the Sun beating down on a glorious sea view, it seemed all the funnier.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Maffie on August 24, 2008, 09:10:16 pm
Im amazed how many swear words some people can fit in one sentence, although rather that than the people who pretend to push you over  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: andygates on August 24, 2008, 09:24:44 pm
On the way back from a ride with a clubmate two scallies in a Ford focus shouted, laughed and pointed "Bejings that way mate!"

Classy!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Fixedwheelnut on August 24, 2008, 10:10:07 pm
I had "Get a fucking helmet you cnut" by a city type this evening. I just shouted "I got one where it really matters"



 How about "I only wear it riding you're Mum in case I fall off"  :thumbsup:

 Jacomus-rides-Gen will know the traffic lights I mean at the bottom of Shooters Hill by the 24hr chemist in Welling, around midnight on the way back from a pub run a chavNova puled up but had given me room so I gathered the driver had a bit of sense.
 [Drunk passenger one] leans out as we are stopped at the lights "I hate fu**in cyclists"

 [Me]  "Glad to hear it, I wouldn't want you fu**in me you ugly git" 
 to his mates "the chemists is still open I think his medication has worn off"  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: border-rider on August 24, 2008, 10:12:06 pm
On the way back from a ride with a clubmate two scallies in a Ford focus shouted, laughed and pointed "Bejings that way mate!"

Classy!

I got

"are you cycling round the world again ?"

from a posh chap in a Merc with a puncture near Hay on Friday :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jacomus on August 25, 2008, 06:19:13 pm
I had "Get a fucking helmet you cnut" by a city type this evening. I just shouted "I got one where it really matters"



 How about "I only wear it riding you're Mum in case I fall off"  :thumbsup:

 Jacomus-rides-Gen will know the traffic lights I mean at the bottom of Shooters Hill by the 24hr chemist in Welling, around midnight on the way back from a pub run a chavNova puled up but had given me room so I gathered the driver had a bit of sense.
 [Drunk passenger one] leans out as we are stopped at the lights "I hate fu**in cyclists"

 [Me]  "Glad to hear it, I wouldn't want you fu**in me you ugly git" 
 to his mates "the chemists is still open I think his medication has worn off"  ;D

That junction inspires the most confusingly unpatterned behaviour from drivers. One day everyone will let me cross the junction and pass, other days there will be abuse screamed, other times two cars will attempt to pass me though the junct!

I call it the Bermuda Triangle of my commute.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on October 17, 2009, 07:28:23 pm
(http://pajamaforest.com/comics/2009-10-07-pop-a-wheelie.png)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Rimnod on October 17, 2009, 08:07:10 pm
Riding near to the Tay Bridge (on the Fife side) when 4 of Dundee's finest in a silver Saxo pulled up alongside basically forcing and holding me  in to the kerb.  Front passenger Ned starts to shout some unintelligible type of abuse in my general direction.   Unconcerned and uninterested I pedalled on, they kept pace and the abuse continued so I reached down and took out my water bottle, took a drink and then squirted most of the contents at the front passenger Ned much to the amusement of the other 3 Neds.  Front passengers response was to vocally doubt my parentage.

At this point the driver started to make progress away and front passenger Ned, in a final act of defiance, sticks his arm out of the window presenting the universal one finger salute, however driver Ned had to decelerated because of a car that had just overtaken us, giving me the once in a life time opportunity to grab the extended middle digit and brake at the same time (brake leavers on my tops).  Needless to say passengers Ned’s scream as his arm was pulled backwards could be heard far and wide, much to the amusement to the 2 Neds in the rear of the vehicle.  Sadly I had to let go as the Saxo pulled away but I hope that passenger seat Ned had to visit the nursing staff in Ninewalls Hospital to had his finger relocated anything less would not be equitable.     
 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: seventytwo on October 18, 2009, 09:56:28 pm
Last night on the way home:
"Oi mate! Your wheels are going round!"

I had this last week!

Recognised it but still couldn't think of a witty retort quick enough, like "So's yer mum!". 

His mate followed up with "dickhead" to which I did wonder how they'd react if I stopped dead, pulled out the spanner from my bag and asked them to repeat it...  :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tatanab on October 19, 2009, 08:15:58 am
Quote from: seventytwo link=topic=1629.msg450412#msg450412
 I did wonder how they'd react if I stopped dead, pulled out the spanner from my bag and asked them to repeat it...  :demon:
Some years ago, in  real foul mood, I stopped when a group of mid-teens on the way home from school (I supposed) made one of the more offensive comments.  I did not stop dead, just pulled into a lay-by and rested against the wall.  There was silence and nervous glances as the group walked up the road and past me.  Nobody said a thing.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: frankly frankie on October 19, 2009, 09:57:26 am
I did wonder how they'd react if I stopped dead, pulled out the spanner from my bag and asked them to repeat it...  :demon:

You remind me of an engineer at work who once threatened a colleague with an Allen key.

He didn't live that one down in a hurry.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on October 19, 2009, 10:04:36 am
LOL!  If it was a t-handled allen key, that would be a seriously dangerous weapon, if not more so than a knife.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: schlafsack on October 19, 2009, 12:55:58 pm
LOL!  If it was a t-handled allen key, that would be a seriously dangerous weapon, if not more so than a knife.

Which is why I don't skate with one.  Always amazes me that people think it's a good idea to skate with one in a pocket.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Greenbank on October 19, 2009, 07:53:52 pm
Where's Bards and his screwdriver?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 20, 2009, 12:30:14 am
My one and only successful witty retort, on September's FNRttC:

Front seat passenger, leaning on folded arms out of window of kevvy hatchback, as they passed at maybe 12mph:  "Nice arse!"

Me: "Nice elbows!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: CrinklyLion on October 20, 2009, 04:05:41 am
I am short, fat, female, ginger and ride a bike (slowly) - doomed, really.  I get a lot of oiks shouting at me :(  It doesn't usually bother me, other than the utter tossers who think it's funny to pass you really close whilst deliberately shouting/hitting the horn/massively revving the engine in a not-even-slightly-amusing attempt to startle you and make you wobble off.  It's only happened a few times, but it really, really makes me cross.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: anth on October 20, 2009, 04:38:03 pm
citycycling .word of the month: bwaaaaooooaaarrrrrgggggghhhhl (http://www.citycycling.co.uk/issue52/word.html)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: seventytwo on October 20, 2009, 06:04:33 pm
You remind me of an engineer at work who once threatened a colleague with an Allen key.

I'm not sure whether that's meant to put me down or the guy with the allen key!  Or both.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on October 20, 2009, 08:56:55 pm
citycycling .word of the month: bwaaaaooooaaarrrrrgggggghhhhl (http://www.citycycling.co.uk/issue52/word.html)

Always good.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on November 07, 2009, 07:32:34 am
Apologies for the deep vein thread mining, but I heard a new one this week. 

Cycling home from work in the dark when I spotted a young male at the roadside waiting to cross the road.  As I passed him he struck up a chorus of 'Oh we're going to Ibiza'.  Very odd.

I can only assume it was a reference to my lighting, or possibly the flashing glow stick thingy on my new Night Vision Evo jacket.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 25, 2010, 06:32:19 pm
Okay, this one baffled me so much I thought it worth mentioning:

Teenage pedestrian, probably on his way home from school, clearly to me as I passed:  "Diarrhoea chipsticks!"

Even the mighty Urbandictionary could shed no light on what that's supposed to mean.  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Julian on March 25, 2010, 07:09:15 pm
Was it a variation on "double wank and shit chips" (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Double%20wank%20and%20shit%20chips)? 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 25, 2010, 07:12:35 pm
Was it a variation on "double wank and shit chips" (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Double%20wank%20and%20shit%20chips)? 

Not sure that's an improvement...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Fluffy on March 26, 2010, 08:38:50 am
Had one this morning, guy leans out of the taxi window and shouts, Mother Fu**er.. I shouted back at him, Yep, just going home after doing yours. He quickly put his ugly head back in the window
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: DrMekon on March 26, 2010, 11:34:18 am
My favourite was when I was riding on the bakfiets and someone from a group of teenage girls shouted "dat bike is bare sick". I had to look it up. I'm still not sure, but I think it means it is very cool.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Moloko on March 26, 2010, 11:40:28 am
My favourite was when I was riding on the bakfiets and someone from a group of teenage girls shouted "dat bike is bare sick". I had to look it up. I'm still not sure, but I think it means it is very cool.

It's OK, it is cool.

Due to the Doppler effect I usually get kids shouting "sick bike, mate" which can almost sound like an insult with the wind whistling in my ears.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Riggers on March 26, 2010, 11:44:27 am
You mean: "SickBikeMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttee". That's a doppler effect.


I'm havin' the points.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tiermat on March 26, 2010, 11:45:58 am
On my commute the other day, a car coming the other way had the window down and a very sultry female voice said, at a raised volume "Heeeelllllooooooooo" :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Moloko on March 26, 2010, 11:48:14 am
You mean: "SickBikeMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttee". That's a doppler effect.


I'm havin' the points.

Fucking hell! Just how fast do you go?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Riggers on March 26, 2010, 11:48:35 am
Are you certain her companion hadn't asked her friend if she fancied 'giving you one' and she shouted "Hellllllll Noooooooo!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on March 26, 2010, 12:56:02 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on March 26, 2010, 06:51:22 pm
Had a strange one on the way home today.  Couldn't hear clearly but the spittle flecked passenger seemed to saying ' you need to take extra provision in town'.

I guess I was looking a little jaded and she was suggesting an extra banana.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: recumbentpanda on March 26, 2010, 11:18:26 pm
Passed two fashionably coiffed and attired Bristolian young ladies on my (odd-looking, even for a recumbent) bike:

One of them, in a delighted shriek with huge emphasis on the second syllable: Foool - iiiiish!

Nicest thing any one has ever shouted at me, made me grin for the rest of the ride. Might have it put in reflective lettering across the seat back . . .
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: asterix on March 27, 2010, 09:42:58 pm
I've never actually been able to hear anything that's been shouted at me let alone have time to reply. It's a pretty rare occurrence.  There's a m'cycle pillion passenger (female) who's given me a wave twice recently 8) from the back of a Harley.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on March 27, 2010, 10:30:15 pm
A few weeks back a group of yoof took interest as I flashed past them.  (I had a strong tail wind).
One of them stepped forward to the curb and said "whaarrrggg"  Well, Whaarrgg is what most people seem to shout from cars, so I ignored it and pressed on.
It was only further down the road that my brain finished the translation.
"Hello, Matt's Dad"


Oh well.
Felt bad about that, as several years ago when they were all in the 6th form together I'd been voted "Most Coolest Dad"
(Much to Matt's dismay)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: FatBloke on March 28, 2010, 03:09:03 pm
On Friday I got "Get off the fucking road and on to the fucking cycle path or when I see you again I'll fucking swerve into you!" from a Neanderthal in a 4X4.  ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on March 29, 2010, 09:34:26 am
Had a brilliant two commutes this weekend, lots of lovely drivers!  Oh, and one clown, middle aged man in a suit with briefcase who thought it was a good idea to play chicken with me in the outer third of the bus lane.  I suppose it passed the time waiting for his bus?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: border-rider on March 29, 2010, 09:37:55 am
I got collared by a small gang of 10-year old lads in Llanwrtyd Wells on Saturday.

They asked me how far i was going, whether I was going over the Epynt ranges and how I'd feel next day

Parting shot: "Fair play to you mister, fair play"

It really gave me a lift.

 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on March 29, 2010, 10:16:59 am
On Friday I got "Get off the fucking road and on to the fucking cycle path or when I see you again I'll fucking swerve into you!" from a Neanderthal in a 4X4.  ::-)

If you trashed the car, would it be self defence?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on March 29, 2010, 10:21:52 am
The defence might be that of preventing a crime?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: David Martin on March 29, 2010, 11:30:01 am
I see Boris has had a go at litter louts in chavmobiles.. Fair play to him.
I accosted the litter louts, and you should too - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/borisjohnson/7533650/I-accosted-the-litter-louts-and-you-should-too.html)
..d
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Moloko on March 29, 2010, 02:29:21 pm
A while back I passed next to a group of youths on my Brommie.
The one yelled out:  "Ha Ha, that's a girls bike."

I yelled back at him: "well fucking get one then...  in pink!"

His mates fell about laughing. I even had the one say: "nice one, mate."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nicknack on May 18, 2010, 01:09:29 pm
Had an odd one last night cycling back from the pub,

"Oy! Are you feeling alright?"

He sped off before I had the chance to reply, "I'm fine, actually. Thanks awfully for asking."

This was shouted from the passenger side of a white van. I don't believe he was actually asking after the state of my health, more a sort of, "Are you mad?"

But I've no idea why. I was dressed in light coloured clothing with my nice summer hat (as seen on Google Streetview (http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?f=q&source=s_q&hl=en&geocode=&q=ME10+1DR&sll=34.147446,-118.596852&sspn=0.001423,0.002119&g=Woodland+Hills,+Los+Angeles,+California,+United+States&ie=UTF8&hq=&hnear=Sittingbourne,+Kent+ME10+1DR,+United+Kingdom&ll=50.75076,-1.294767&spn=0.004161,0.008336&t=h&z=17&layer=c&cbll=50.750861,-1.294801&panoid=UOgl1iNeh8IRVKGR1bxEow&cbp=12,148.05,,2,9.81)) and my lights were burning brightly. It was a beautiful evening, no wind, the stars were shining. In short, no reason not to be riding a bike. So why was I mad?

Anyway balance was restored half a minute later. They must have taken a wrong turning, because they passed me again. This time though, the message was,

"Waaaarrrrooooaarrgghhh!" Or something like that.

Now that I understand.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on May 18, 2010, 07:28:45 pm
"Waaaarrrrooooaarrgghhh!" Or something like that.


Oh yes.

Wise words from a sane man.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Hot Flatus on May 18, 2010, 07:35:51 pm
I'm still perplexed by this one:

Riding down a stretch of cyclepath adjacent to a main road, a monobrow in a builders van yells  "Why don't you ride on the road you queer cunt!"

Pretty much the only bit of abuse Ive noticed in years
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Rapples on May 18, 2010, 07:39:19 pm
I think it's probably time to give bobb his hat back ;)

Maybe you could meet up in a car park somewhere ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Hot Flatus on May 18, 2010, 07:41:37 pm
I think you've missed the point  ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jaded on May 18, 2010, 07:49:56 pm
The other day "Turn your ffing light off"

I had the rear Dinotte on in a winding, tree covered section of road.  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on May 19, 2010, 06:32:30 am
Yesterday I had " call that a racer?, this is a racer", from a spotty youth on a Gas piper.  Fair play to him though, he kept up for a good twenty metres.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Adrian on May 19, 2010, 07:31:46 am
I had some oik draw up alongside me in a beat up old Mercedes last night and shout something incomprehensible. A second look showed that it was a colleague. It was still incomprehensible though.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Regulator on May 19, 2010, 07:59:46 am
I had some oik draw up alongside me in a beat up old Mercedes last night and shout something incomprehensible. A second look showed that it was a colleague. It was still incomprehensible though.

I had a similar but reversed situation a few months ago.

Silly bint in Saab driving along whilst on her mobile phone.  I shout a few choice words at her.

I arrive at work to find out she's one of the directors...  :-\

I recount this to my boss. 

Shortly afterwards, a reminder goes out to all staff reminding them that driving whilst using a handheld mobile phone is an offence and, if you are in a work car or using a work mobile, it would constitute gross misconduct.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jules on May 19, 2010, 08:06:34 am
I had some oik draw up alongside me in a beat up old Mercedes last night and shout something incomprehensible. A second look showed that it was a colleague. It was still incomprehensible though.

I had a similar but reversed situation a few months ago.

Silly bint in Saab driving along whilst on her mobile phone.  I shout a few choice words at her.

I arrive at work to find out she's one of the directors...  :-\

I recount this to my boss. 

Shortly afterwards, a reminder goes out to all staff reminding them that driving whilst using a handheld mobile phone is an offence and, if you are in a work car or using a work mobile, it would constitute gross misconduct.


;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Charlotte on May 19, 2010, 08:35:08 am
Although I always have my MP3 player set so that I can hear background noise and I've found just the right headphones so that this works, when drivers get a bit closer and notice the brightly coloured wires, people often assume that I'm deaf to their shouts.

Yesterday morning on the way to work, I had the usual moron tailgating me through the narrow bits and revving her engine because she couldn't get past.  I just ignored her and carried on.  When we stopped at the lights, she opened her window and shouted, "Don't ride in the middle of the road - read the fucking highway code!"

Although I'd heard her quite clearly, I made sure that whilst ignoring her, I visibly tapped my foot and nodded my head to the rather splendid bluegrass album I was listening to.

It's times like this when I regret that having a rear view mirror would spoil my fixie cool  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on May 19, 2010, 09:24:48 am
"Don't ride in the middle of the road - read the fucking highway code!"

Isn't that the latest DfT advertising slogan?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: alexb on May 19, 2010, 09:36:09 am
The other morning I had a quite attractive woman pull alongside me and ask me where I was going.
When I asked why she replied "I could follow your arse all day love!"
The lights changed and she let me pull away first...

Made my day!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on May 19, 2010, 09:48:06 am
The other morning I had a quite attractive woman pull alongside me and ask me where I was going.
When I asked why she replied "I could follow your arse all day love!"
The lights changed and she let me pull away first...

Made my day!

It's not a bad set of buns at all Alex!  Even compares reasonably to some of the skaters.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Regulator on May 19, 2010, 09:49:20 am
The other morning I had a quite attractive woman pull alongside me and ask me where I was going.
When I asked why she replied "I could follow your arse all day love!"
The lights changed and she let me pull away first...

Made my day!

It's not a bad set of buns at all Alex!  Even compares reasonably to some of the skaters.


I couldn't possibly comment without closer inspection.   ;D

Thread.... useless... pictures etc.  
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rower40 on May 19, 2010, 09:56:26 am
Yesterday morning on the way to work, I had the usual moron tailgating me through the narrow bits and revving her engine because she couldn't get past.  I just ignored her and carried on.  When we stopped at the lights, she opened her window and shouted, "Don't ride in the middle of the road - read the fucking highway code!"
It's at times like this that I'd just love to have a copy of the highway code velcro'd to the bars, that I could then just toss in through the open window.  Ensuring that it falls open at the page with the picture of the car giving 6 feet or more to the cyclist.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on May 19, 2010, 10:01:57 am
Me too.  The temptation to have them in the back pocket for posting through open windows is very strong.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: asterix on May 19, 2010, 12:31:37 pm
Why the assumption that these people can read?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hulver on May 19, 2010, 02:35:44 pm
I had a fat hairy bloke shout "How much for a blow job?" at me while I was panting my way up a hill once.

I didn't know if he was enquiring after the price I would charge to service him, or asking how much I wanted to pay for him to supply me. To be honest looking at the state of them neither was a very attractive proposition.

Thankfully he left before I could disappoint him.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Regulator on May 19, 2010, 02:38:45 pm
I had a fat hairy bloke shout "How much for a blow job?" at me while I was panting my way up a hill once.

I didn't know if he was enquiring after the price I would charge to service him, or asking how much I wanted to pay for him to supply me. To be honest looking at the state of them neither was a very attractive proposition.

Thankfully he left before I could disappoint him.


Sorry - I didn't realise it was you...  :-[






 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on May 19, 2010, 05:06:15 pm
Hulver, are you still concerned about Reg suffering homo-bullying on this forum?

 ;D

That's a little unfair.  Sorry, I realise you're just joshing  ;D

Hulver's post sparked off an interesting discussion IMO.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: greenmeansgo on May 19, 2010, 05:16:04 pm
I'm still perplexed by this one:

Riding down a stretch of cyclepath adjacent to a main road, a monobrow in a builders van yells  "Why don't you ride on the road you queer cunt!"

Pretty much the only bit of abuse Ive noticed in years
Makes a change from the usual I get from bus and taxi drivers to "get on the fucking cycle path".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: darkpoint on June 14, 2010, 04:25:45 pm
My housemate (not of this parish) was cycling to work last week,  and a colleague shouted at her, "Get off and milk it!"

Later that day she tracked him down to confirm that was exactly what he had said, and why..  Apparently it is "what you should shout at cyclists"..
We can't understand why you would shout something you didn't understand, rather than a simple "hello $realname".

So anyone got any ideas?
The best suggestion I have found so far is that it is a reference to the milk race..

The best witty retort is the slightly wordy:  I hope you don't want to be a vet when you grow up.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: PaulR on June 14, 2010, 04:30:25 pm
I've had that shouted at me once by a small child in the passenger seat of a car on a school run.  I was amused, as I hadn't heard it in many years.  At the next traffic jam I told the child and its parent how much I had enjoyed hearing this one again, and cycled off.

I think it is what posh horse-riding types would say when they passed a peasant riding something more lowly, suggesting that the animal that the peasant was riding was not really suitable for riding.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on June 14, 2010, 05:09:50 pm
I love hearing the old ones like that that have been around since I was a kid.
I'm hoping for a "Oi mate.  Your back wheel is going round"  again soon.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on June 14, 2010, 05:21:36 pm
"Get off and milk it!"


So anyone got any ideas?


answer = "it doesn't have tits....YER TIT"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on June 14, 2010, 05:26:40 pm
"Get off and milk it!"

I've said that to a couple of scooterists before.  And to some car drivers, except then it's get out and milk it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: 2_Flat_Erics on June 14, 2010, 07:40:29 pm
"Oi mate.  Your back wheel is going round" 

We had that one a few weeks back .... oh how i larfed.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Adrian on June 14, 2010, 08:00:44 pm
I love hearing the old ones like that that have been around since I was a kid.
I'm hoping for a "Oi mate.  Your back wheel is going round"  again soon.

Got that on the last FNRTTC in the Erith area. I was tempted to stop to ask for the name of the lady's scriptwriter.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: kevinp on June 20, 2010, 09:23:24 am
I was shouted at three times yesterday, first time by a car coming the other way ! I think he was offering to give me a wank by his hand gestures and what he shouted ... but I was going uphill at the time and didn't really want to stop. Second was by two idots at a bus stop who shouted at me and when I looked over they seemed to be asking me if I was on a hunt, not sure what to say about them and the third was by a car over taking me, he got so close I could have signed his car if I had a pen, and again some sort of abuse from the passenger.
Its a strange sociality that abuses people because of the transport they use.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Julian on June 20, 2010, 11:02:53 am
In the Alps the other week, the French equivalent of WVM yelled "Putain!" out the window at me.  I assume he'd been driving in England too much and had picked up their bad habits.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: peliroja on June 20, 2010, 11:10:11 am
Last week, from an Ingerland football fan dressed as a girl: "Darling, you know I've always loved you."

 ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: PaulF on June 20, 2010, 11:41:37 am
Yesterday crossing Wimbledon Park a chap 'interviewed' me about the tennis running alongside whilst his friend recorded me on a Blackberry. When I reached the exit they asked if I minded coming back so they could do it again!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rower40 on June 20, 2010, 05:51:43 pm
In the wilds of ?Wiltshire? on this morning's Nocturnal Warty, consisting of 4 conventional bikes and a recumbent (bringing up the rear (*) as usual):

"Oi! He's cheating - he's lying down".

(*) Insert Smut & Innuendo of Choice
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on June 21, 2010, 06:40:45 pm
This was one from last week, I remain puzzled.

 [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIEAs4Kjnp8]
      


 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIEAs4Kjnp8)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on June 21, 2010, 07:33:43 pm
This was one from last week, I remain puzzled.

 [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIEAs4Kjnp8]

 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIEAs4Kjnp8)

I believe that she is informing you that she is a Wanker.

I often have drivers informing me of this.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on June 21, 2010, 09:21:50 pm
I think there must be some kind of soccerball tournament on, or something, because I got a loud toot from an airhorn through the window of passing Fiesta the other day. It didn't particularly bother me, though the hilarity of such an action is debatable. Usual troupe of simians inside.

Anyway, probably best not to do this if you about to be stopped by the red lights. A closer look distinguished them as Chavicus mater and I surmised they were probably driving mummy's car. Oddly when I pointed out that their car had a little plate attached to the rear that gave clearly identifying details and likely reception of a points-on-their-licence induced premium hike to mumsy's insurance, they revealed that the horn <mumble>must have gone off accidentally</mumble>.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 01, 2010, 11:26:23 pm
Had a new one today:

Filled-to-capacity chavmobile comes alongside as I'm proceeding at a respectable speed down the A441 towards Redditch, windows open.  The full complement of chavs then proceed to bark (as in imitating the sound that dogs make) '22' at me in morse, before the car accelerates off to join the queue at the junction up ahead.

I have no idea.   ???

And having instinctively responded with some sign language that needs no interpretation, I was somewhat nervous about pulling alongside them at the lights.  Wrecked my cycling mojo for the rest of the ride, that did.   >:(


Karmic retribution for the American in the left-hand-drive sports car who matched my speed and shouted "Recumbents forever!" to me on the ride back to Ely on Monday, I suppose.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on September 01, 2010, 11:34:34 pm
An old classic as I returned home from a Bank Holiday pootle with The Boy and Mrs. Hall

The dulcet tones of a feckless itinerant in his automobile as he hollered "Get off and milk it".

It filled me with a certain wossname. 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on September 01, 2010, 11:40:44 pm
An old classic as I returned home from a Bank Holiday pootle with The Boy and Mrs. Hall

The dulcet tones of a feckless itinerant in his automobile as he hollered "Get off and milk it".

It filled me with a certain wossname. 

When you catch him at the lights you can tell him to get out and milk it.  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: border-rider on September 01, 2010, 11:49:02 pm
Had a new one today:

Filled-to-capacity chavmobile comes alongside as I'm proceeding at a respectable speed down the A441 towards Redditch, windows open.  The full complement of chavs then proceed to bark (as in imitating the sound that dogs make) '22' at me in morse, before the car accelerates off to join the queue at the junction up ahead.

I have no idea.   ???

Plodder, Rottenhat and I encountered something like this on the Mille Cymru.  We were stopped at some temporary traffic lights in the depths of Cardiganshire, and the passenger of the car behind barked the whole time (several minutes) we were stopped.  I fear I'm missing out on a (sub)cultural phenomenon.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fred the great on September 02, 2010, 04:57:02 am
This only illustrates, as suspected, that the UK has gone to the dogs.

Barking mad perhaps :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steve Kish on September 02, 2010, 09:10:36 am
Had one a few years ago as my friend and I were cycling through Amersham.  Chav from car looks over and shouts out 'Oy, got any milk mate?' and then proceeds to run into the stationery car in front of him! 

My mate and I had to pull over before we pi55ed ourselves laughing! ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on September 02, 2010, 09:19:26 am
Had a new one today:

Filled-to-capacity chavmobile comes alongside as I'm proceeding at a respectable speed down the A441 towards Redditch, windows open.  The full complement of chavs then proceed to bark (as in imitating the sound that dogs make) '22' at me in morse, before the car accelerates off to join the queue at the junction up ahead.

I have no idea.   ???

Plodder, Rottenhat and I encountered something like this on the Mille Cymru.  We were stopped at some temporary traffic lights in the depths of Cardiganshire, and the passenger of the car behind barked the whole time (several minutes) we were stopped.  I fear I'm missing out on a (sub)cultural phenomenon.

Quite obvious to me that they have heard how much fun dogging can be, but hailing from the parts they do are somewhat challenged in the understanding department. One bone short of a meal.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Redlight on September 02, 2010, 10:59:30 am
The full complement of chavs then proceed to bark (as in imitating the sound that dogs make) '22' at me in morse, before the car accelerates off to join the queue at the junction up ahead.

I have no idea.   ???



Perhaps they wanted to compare IQs
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: recumbentpanda on September 03, 2010, 09:32:54 am
Not exactly an 'oik' incident, but it made me smile -I'm sad like that . . .

Proceeding in a westerly direction along Sustrans One. Pass a group of three young men on bikes who remark to each other on my recumbent.

Half an hour later: Proceeding in an easterly direction, same route, see same three youths approaching from opposite direction. Lead youth remarks:

"Oh look, he's got one too!" . . . pause, during which a puzzled expresion appears on youth's face . . . "Or is it the same one coming back?"

For some reason that makes me howl with laughter. My wife remarks acidly that I never laugh at normal jokes, only stupid things no reasonable person would find funny.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: itsbruce on September 03, 2010, 10:38:46 am
Filled-to-capacity chavmobile comes alongside as I'm proceeding at a respectable speed down the A441 towards Redditch, windows open.  The full complement of chavs then proceed to bark (as in imitating the sound that dogs make) '22' at me in morse, before the car accelerates off to join the queue at the junction up ahead.


Ah.  It's possible they may have been delivering a rendition of the refrain of the song "Who let the dogs out?", which does contain two sets of five barks.  So a childish insult to a female cyclist.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Martin on September 03, 2010, 12:04:07 pm
I went over to Normandy in 2004 for D Day (595km; a sort of PBP taster) had no problems at all and was allowed to ride straight into all the closed off areas like Arromanches etc.

apart from one man in the back seat of a Scenic which passed me twice near Utah beach, he leant ridght out of the window and shouted a very vitriolic and angry few sentences at me both times (my French is not good enough to understand any of it); I was not even wearing any form of UK- identifiable gear.

very odd and completely out of character for France
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 03, 2010, 12:16:14 pm
Ah.  It's possible they may have been delivering a rendition of the refrain of the song "Who let the dogs out?", which does contain two sets of five barks.  So a childish insult to a female cyclist.

Ah-ha!  I'd recycled the neurons for that song.  That makes about as much sense as anything's likely to, and would be entirely consistent with the flavour of oik involved.  It's certainly de rigueur to shout sexist abuse at random women in the street around here, though that imperative usually gets overridden by the WTF-factor when I'm on the 'bent.

 :facepalm:   >:(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: itsbruce on September 03, 2010, 12:29:11 pm

apart from one man in the back seat of a Scenic which passed me twice near Utah beach, he leant ridght out of the window and shouted a very vitriolic and angry few sentences at me both times (my French is not good enough to understand any of it); I was not even wearing any form of UK- identifiable gear.

very odd and completely out of character for France

This is obviously going back a bit, but when my mother was a student, she stayed with a French family one summer.  When they went out for a family drive, if they ever saw a female cyclist, the entire family would wind down their respective windows and yell "Poupée" at her, often with the result that the victim would wobble off the road.  Apparently, they objected to female cyclists because they wore shorts, which this family considered too immodest.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Nuncio on September 27, 2010, 02:00:26 pm
On Saturday, in Tonna, Neath, from one of a pair of approx 12-year-old-boys: "On yer bike sexy!".  Given that, in addition to the lycra I was wearing cap, gilet and sandals, the last bit was self-evident.  But, but.. I was already on my bike!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on September 27, 2010, 02:41:14 pm
I was on the receiving end of the classic "yrrghghwwgghggghh" this morning, accompanied by gestures. I'm not normally bothered, but the naked aggression on the yrrghghwwgghggghh-er really p!ssed me off.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rower40 on September 27, 2010, 04:08:27 pm
On Saturday, as the three Recumbents of the Apocalypse descended like a wolf on the fold (*) into the outskirts of Dolgellau, one of the local sîaf (**) lads shouted "I want one!"

Were it not for the facts that a) I was working quite hard to keep up, and b) it would have been wholly inappropriate, I would have shouted back "So do I, but they're both spoken for."

(*) In view of the later fox/chickens interface scenario, this may not be the most tactful simile to use.
(**) See what I've done?  I've faked the Welsh word for chav.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 27, 2010, 04:43:10 pm
Were it not for the facts that a) I was working quite hard to keep up, and b) it would have been wholly inappropriate, I would have shouted back "So do I, but they're both spoken for."

 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on September 27, 2010, 04:50:57 pm
Were it not for the facts that a) I was working quite hard to keep up, and b) it would have been wholly inappropriate, I would have shouted back "So do I, but they're both spoken for."

 ;D

Very good, but I'm afraid I've just spent several minutes of my life trying to explain this joke to Mrs. Wow but have given up in desperation.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Diver300 on September 27, 2010, 05:35:37 pm
Were it not for the facts that a) I was working quite hard to keep up, and b) it would have been wholly inappropriate, I would have shouted back "So do I, but they're both spoken for."
I would also suggest that
c) Your instant reposts normally take you, like they do for me, about a day to come up with.
d) You are too scared of either of them to say that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Salvatore on September 27, 2010, 05:39:23 pm
... one of the local sîaf (**) lads shouted "I want one!"

...
(**) See what I've done?  I've faked the Welsh word for chav.

Was any of them wearing a hwdi (http://cy.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hwdi)?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on September 28, 2010, 09:05:42 am
I was on the receiving end of the classic "yrrghghwwgghggghh" this morning, accompanied by gestures. I'm not normally bothered, but the naked aggression on the yrrghghwwgghggghh-er really p!ssed me off.

And today. Same dual-cab pickup, same arsehole leaning head and shoulders out the window. A full sentence this time, the traffic was moving slower.

Getting a bit worried about this - the arsehole was more aggressive this morning. I don't ride Wednesdays, so will have to see it they are there tomorrow.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Chris S on September 28, 2010, 09:22:19 am
Maybe time to get one of these on your bars, ready for deployment:

SureGuard SG Active Sponge Alarm (http://www.stoppashop.co.uk/self-defence-products/personal-attack-alarms-and-sprays/sureguard-sg-active-sponge-alarm.html)

One tug, and drop it through their window into the footwell. Not quite as good as the smelly alarms which make it really hard to keep driving, thereby giving you time to get away - but I haven't got time to google those.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Katie on September 28, 2010, 11:05:47 am
Peak time at the train station a while ago...

Him: "haha, your bike looks dead stupid!"
Me: "yeah, but..." (as I start folding the bike... takes less than 10s) "...I can take mine on the train."
Him: "so can I!"
Train guard: "not for another 2 hours you can't."
Him: "oh..."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on September 28, 2010, 11:13:03 am
Maybe time to get one of these on your bars, ready for deployment:

SureGuard SG Active Sponge Alarm (http://www.stoppashop.co.uk/self-defence-products/personal-attack-alarms-and-sprays/sureguard-sg-active-sponge-alarm.html)

One tug, and drop it through their window into the footwell. Not quite as good as the smelly alarms which make it really hard to keep driving, thereby giving you time to get away - but I haven't got time to google those.
I think if I tried something like that, they'd pull over and have a go at me with a shovel.

Best not to escalate it.  My concern is that they might.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tiermat on September 28, 2010, 11:24:13 am
Peak time at the train station a while ago...

Him: "haha, your bike looks dead stupid!"
Me: "yeah, but..." (as I start folding the bike... takes less than 10s) "...I can take mine on the train."
Him: "so can I!"
Train guard: "not for another 2 hours you can't."
Him: "oh..."

Lynx, of this parish, let me on a little secret about this (makes sense, but I have not had the cojones to try it yet).....

Take the front wheel off, then you are carrying bike parts, not a bike, the fact that you are carrying enough parts to make a full bike is irrelevant.....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Katie on September 28, 2010, 11:31:02 am
Peak time at the train station a while ago...

Him: "haha, your bike looks dead stupid!"
Me: "yeah, but..." (as I start folding the bike... takes less than 10s) "...I can take mine on the train."
Him: "so can I!"
Train guard: "not for another 2 hours you can't."
Him: "oh..."

Lynx, of this parish, let me on a little secret about this (makes sense, but I have not had the cojones to try it yet).....

Take the front wheel off, then you are carrying bike parts, not a bike, the fact that you are carrying enough parts to make a full bike is irrelevant.....


Ha, clever!

I have a single cable lock and am too scared to leave it even locked up, so using the folding bike at the moment as I can cart it around with me - too broke to buy good locks for my bigger bike at the moment...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Captain Zep on September 28, 2010, 08:57:02 pm
Ned walking along pavement with Senga ned. "You don't even pay road tax"
Me, "I do (I know!), it's on my car, parked at home"
Ned "Oh, OK".

Ned in car angry because he can't cut the corner at a junction, because I am waiting there to turn right, "arghwaggawaggaargh"
Me, "Sorry, I don't speak ned"
Cue ned getting really angry to the point of foaming at the mouth.  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dora on September 28, 2010, 10:59:33 pm
I have no idea what it was he/she said, but I was yelled at by a little kid the other day.  He/she/it must have been about 5!  It's parents must be SO proud!!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on September 30, 2010, 09:55:05 pm
I was on the receiving end of the classic "yrrghghwwgghggghh" this morning, accompanied by gestures. I'm not normally bothered, but the naked aggression on the yrrghghwwgghggghh-er really p!ssed me off.

And today. Same dual-cab pickup, same arsehole leaning head and shoulders out the window. A full sentence this time, the traffic was moving slower.

Getting a bit worried about this - the arsehole was more aggressive this morning. I don't ride Wednesdays, so will have to see it they are there tomorrow.

Didn't see them on ride in, but on the way home . . .

White pickup passes me - I recognise it, and face screaming at window.

400 yards further on, I see it - they've pulled in to a layby.  They wait until I pass then move off alongside me, screaming out of the window as they go.

Seriously creepy morons.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on September 30, 2010, 10:01:44 pm
This is becoming habitual is it not?
Do you have a registration number?
If not,get it next time & go to cop-shop to make a formal complaint with heavy emphasise on the day of the week on which it occurs.If  the police are inclined to take any interest they at least have something to work with.
Do not equivocate.DO IT.
Take care
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on September 30, 2010, 10:04:46 pm
It's 3 out of 3, and is wierding me out a bit.

I didn't think to note the reg number tonight when they parked; was too worried they were going to jump out and do something stupid, so was concentrating on riding and watching them very very closely.

K reg Hilux, I think. If I disappear, can someone phone the police and pass that info on?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on September 30, 2010, 10:15:16 pm
It's worth doing as Jogler says. It could be nothing, but why chance it?
Maybe get a camera ala Wendy or even just take still photos to show the police.
I personally wouldn't worry about idiots like this, I wouldn't be surprised if they're just larking about and nothing more sinister than that, but it's different when they're in something as dangerous as a van, so definitely worth reporting. There could be others being pestered too.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on October 01, 2010, 09:24:32 am
That's gotta be dealt with.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on October 01, 2010, 09:53:54 am
Didn't ride today, due to kidneys playing up. Will see if I spot them on Monday.  They are probably just harmless moron rednecks, but who knows. Will keep ear out for the sound of banjos.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on October 01, 2010, 10:06:23 am
Want to borrow a camera, mrcharly?  I have a spare Maplins MD80.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on October 01, 2010, 10:28:07 am
Thanks very much for the offer, but I think it would be too provocative. Whilst I'm not a delicate flower, I don't fancy having to deal with a couple of aggroed moron labourers.

Next time I see the pickup I'll memorise the reg number and write it down when they are out of sight.

As I said to my wife last night, without provocation, I have the feeling that these oiks wouldn't 'attack' me. They might think it funny to push me off my bike or somesuch idiocy.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on October 01, 2010, 10:43:17 am
As I said to my wife last night, without provocation, I have the feeling that these oiks wouldn't 'attack' me. They might think it funny to push me off my bike or somesuch idiocy.

In my book, pushing someone off their bike IS an attack.
 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Katie on October 01, 2010, 10:46:13 am
As I said to my wife last night, without provocation, I have the feeling that these oiks wouldn't 'attack' me. They might think it funny to push me off my bike or somesuch idiocy.

In my book, pushing someone off their bike IS an attack.
 
Sounds like mrcharly is saying that at the moment they wouldn't push him off his bike, but if he took photos of them they might do.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on October 01, 2010, 10:47:45 am
It's not very obvious, and doesn't need to be at all confrontational.  It should be pretty easy to conceal the camera in a way that they'll never notice it, and avoid drawing attention to it with your own behaviour.  It's a tiny lipstick video camera that'll run for over an hour.

My thoughts are just that getting that sort of behaviour on video enables the police to do something about it in a way that your own statement simply won't, especially without witnesses.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: henshaw11 on October 01, 2010, 01:14:25 pm
After an evening incident a week or so ago I've *very* tempted to lob a camera on the helmet.
Descending out of local town centre on the recumbent, probably doing 25 but I soon hit 30+ (and it *is* a 30 limit, so it's not like I'm holding anyone up, if there's any traffic around) Something big/dark (suv?) passes, something like a searchlight or wide/v bright lamp shone in my face for the next 50yards down the hill. I'm just to left of centre of the lane, but it's got two curves in it, I'm too blinded to see exactly where am in the lane or even to look in my mirror to see if the road behind is clear to slow quickly. Fortunately he effs off and I can just about see though the afterimage. Curious about the bike and just a bit stupid, or simply an asswipe trying to cause an accident ? Answers on a postcard...

Any of the md80 style things decent in low light ? - on the couple of vids I've seen on youtube they don't seem great at picking up registration plates.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on October 01, 2010, 05:26:23 pm
Curious about the bike and just a bit stupid, or simply an asswipe trying to cause an accident ? Answers on a postcard...


My money says they were curious about the bike.
IME there is a mindset that only other car drivers can be dazzled by lights. It was only when bike lights became almost good enough to see by, that motorists learned that they should dip their lights for cyclists too. And that still only happens if you have very good lights, even now. I doubt that it's malice, just stupid ingnorance.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on October 01, 2010, 05:34:54 pm
Thanks very much for the offer, but I think it would be too provocative. Whilst I'm not a delicate flower, I don't fancy having to deal with a couple of aggroed moron labourers.


If it was me, I'd rather provoke them by letting them know that they're on camera and film them coming after me. But only if I know that I can escape.
At least that way, they'll either declare war on me and I know the score, or they'll back down. Then if they really are after me I could go to the police with the film.




In my book, pushing someone off their bike IS an attack.
 

I agree. If I was walking down a street and someone made to deliberately push me over, Firstly I would avoid them or block their arms and possibly issue a good kick in the nads if I thought they meant business.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: lantern rouge on October 01, 2010, 05:44:22 pm
Yob to cyclist "Get off and milk it grandma"
Cyclist raises middle finger and in cut glass accent shouts "Fuck right off"

Cyclist is my mates 78year old mother riding her Miss Marple stlye roadster.


Yob shouts at my friend (son of above lady.) "Oy fat bastard."
Friends's reply. "I'm only fat coz every time I fuck yer mam she gives me a biscuit."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: henshaw11 on October 01, 2010, 06:20:40 pm
>My money says they were curious about the bike.

I can't help wondering quite why someone would be so quick - or bothered - to whip out a large torch, unless they've tried the same trick before. I also wondered if it was a reaction to the 1W rear light flashing away, there's no accounting for the attitude of some of the prats I encounter...by far the majority are ok - and definitely give a wider berth to the recumbent. Tho' the 'must pass the cyclist' view gets a little annoying when you're going the same speed as the traffic around town, in primary, with braking distance in front of you, and some f***wit attempts to slot themselves in the gap...
Still, as of last weekend I've got an airzound on the bike...I just need to get adept at getting my hands down the (underseat stearing) bars to it !
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on October 01, 2010, 11:53:35 pm


In my book, pushing someone off their bike IS an attack.
 

I agree. If I was walking down a street and someone made to deliberately push me over, Firstly I would avoid them or block their arms and possibly issue a good kick in the nads if I thought they meant business.

I also view being pushed of a bike as an attack.
However, I think that the sort of brain dead morons who have been harassing me would probably just regard it as a joke.

Where I encounter these idiots it is on a fast road with no get away routes.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: 2_Flat_Erics on October 02, 2010, 08:17:33 am
As I said to my wife last night, without provocation, I have the feeling that these oiks wouldn't 'attack' me. They might think it funny to push me off my bike or somesuch idiocy.

In my book, pushing someone off their bike IS an attack.
 
Sounds like mrcharly is saying that at the moment they wouldn't push him off his bike, but if he took photos of them they might do.

Sometimes the tw@ts come unstuck when they try to push people off bikes.

Tw@t gets his just rewards (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQaJVSyCS-8)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Domestique on October 02, 2010, 09:22:27 am
Quote
Sometimes the tw@ts come unstuck when they try to push people off bikes.

Tw@t gets his just rewards

 :o :o :o
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: border-rider on October 02, 2010, 10:01:12 am
That's quite a disturbing bit of video. 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Hot Flatus on October 02, 2010, 10:32:09 am
Instant karma for being a twat, but fairplay he took it on the chin
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nicknack on October 02, 2010, 12:49:35 pm
Blimey, I haven't seen that clip for a few years. Apparently the nitwit was a bit bashed up but ok.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gatlow on October 02, 2010, 01:36:16 pm
Ha ha ha! Splendid.  At least he was forced to face up to the consequences of his actions!

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: itsbruce on October 03, 2010, 03:22:47 pm
If he were wise enough for that, he'd not have been doing what he did in the first place.  He probably took it out on another cyclist, next time.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on October 04, 2010, 09:33:51 am
And again . . .

In a different vehicle, this time a flatbed truck with 'Highway maintenance' marked on the back.

I'm starting to think this is a bit like dogs barking at thunderstorms. They just can't help it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on October 04, 2010, 09:34:37 am
Same people?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on October 04, 2010, 10:12:51 am
Same guy hanging out of side of truck.

The demented bellowing is almost funny.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on October 04, 2010, 10:19:17 am
Yeah, I'll bet it's amusing, but also worrying.  That sort of thing has the potential for him to take bigger and bigger liberties to get the same rush as he got from the first few, I feel.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on October 04, 2010, 10:28:37 am
You might be right, and I do appreciate your concern (along with the offer of loan of camera).

I suspect they'll get bored of it, and if they escalate things, I'm posting in here because then there is a log of when they've harassed me. 
Oneday I'll manage to note the reg number.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on October 05, 2010, 06:34:17 am
For gawd's sake get a camera, if it isn't this set of muppets playing up  I'm sure there will be others.

It is a royal PITA keeping it charged and remembering to take off the footage each day but it certainly gets round the reg number notation problem. 

I wouldn't be without mine, even pretty much all the footage gets binned.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on October 26, 2010, 03:19:36 pm
We got a sad one near Dorking when out with the CTC.  A kid (or two) shouted from a passing car 'Why don't you get a car?'

TGL said they'd never understand even after he'd explained.

Hope they got told off by their parents, though.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Julian on October 26, 2010, 04:41:43 pm
After an evening incident a week or so ago I've *very* tempted to lob a camera on the helmet.
Descending out of local town centre on the recumbent, probably doing 25 but I soon hit 30+ (and it *is* a 30 limit, so it's not like I'm holding anyone up, if there's any traffic around) Something big/dark (suv?) passes, something like a searchlight or wide/v bright lamp shone in my face for the next 50yards down the hill. I'm just to left of centre of the lane, but it's got two curves in it, I'm too blinded to see exactly where am in the lane or even to look in my mirror to see if the road behind is clear to slow quickly. Fortunately he effs off and I can just about see though the afterimage. Curious about the bike and just a bit stupid, or simply an asswipe trying to cause an accident ? Answers on a postcard...

I would guess it's someone who gets themselves vexed about bike lights being 'too bright' and now deliberately shines a light at them.

People can be idiots.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 26, 2010, 07:35:01 pm
Not really shouting, but I just had a car match speed mid-overtake, passenger window open, and the customary "ooarguhgh!" was uttered.  The passenger then took a photo/video of me with her phone.

Like I say, they haven't invented recumbents in Birmingham yet.

Bonus points for anyone subsequently spotting me on metube/friendface.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on October 26, 2010, 07:37:41 pm
Bonus points for anyone subsequently spotting me on metube/friendface.

Oh. It was you.

I thought it was Charlotte. :P :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on October 26, 2010, 08:47:57 pm
I had someone shouting at me from a car.  Not the one behind me going across the roundabout, but the one behind that.  Oh dear.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: longers on January 20, 2011, 11:24:47 pm
I'm only calling them oiks because they were young, hanging around in a bus stop and gobbing off at folk minding their own business going home late at night.

I looked well sick mate and have a nice arse. Apparently.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on January 20, 2011, 11:28:27 pm
Oh, I had a driver, for no apparent reason, wind down their window and shout "Oargghauhelmet, you fuckin' idiot!" the other day.  Hopefully the doctor will be able to prescribe them antibiotics for that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on January 22, 2011, 12:12:04 am
This week, Wednesday I think - honking up a hill through Congleton, car goes past, passenger window goes down "your going too slow"

Was project team member who sits just in front of me at work. :-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: De Sisti on January 23, 2011, 05:21:02 pm
On yesterday' Dr Foster Audax, approaching Millbrook Garden Centre, a Green
(didn't get the make/model) car goes past and some yoof shouts "f.....g pillock, get a car".
Further up the road a car turning right forced the green car and others to stop. If it
weren't for the hill I was climbing to the cafe, I would have gone after the green and asked
the passenger to repeat what he said. Chances are, he would have been surprised
and embarassed. If not, I'm sure I could have descended the hill faster than he could have.
 ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Hot Flatus on January 23, 2011, 05:37:19 pm
Pathetic aren't they. Really not worth giving them more than a moment's thought.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spesh on January 23, 2011, 05:41:19 pm
Really not worth giving them more than a moment's thought.

That thought being, "The outpatients are out in force again..."  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jules on January 24, 2011, 09:25:06 am
"Care in the community" innit.

Now who's going to tell us who is to blame for that ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Julian on January 31, 2011, 02:05:12 pm
Going round to Phil's house the other evening, I wasn't even on my bike, I was walking, and some random woman shouted out of the passenger seat of a car

"You're chicken little!"

WTF? 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: andygates on January 31, 2011, 02:13:31 pm
Cycling in anticipation of the ecopocalypse?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jaded on January 31, 2011, 02:20:30 pm
Did you have a piece of sky on your head?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: longers on February 25, 2011, 03:19:26 pm
New one today.

"Oi! Get a derailleur!"

Made me smile, he got a wave.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: MartinGT on February 25, 2011, 03:24:03 pm
New one today.

"Oi! Get a derailleur!"

Made me smile, he got a wave.

Is that when you noticed your rear mech hanging off  ;D

I got a beep last night, no idea why, probabley because I decided to cycle through the roadworks in the middle so any nob heads couldnt squeeze past me.  So I slowed traffic down for ooooooo 5mins?  The 3 cars immediatley behind me were fine, it was after that!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on February 26, 2011, 11:17:27 am
Is it surprising that after years of not being shouted at, I get a 'bent, and then get something most rides  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on February 26, 2011, 11:31:31 am
Is it surprising that after years of not being shouted at, I get a 'bent, and then get something most rides  ;D

Many of my friends complain that I ignored them - just lost in the noise.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on February 26, 2011, 03:15:41 pm
Is it surprising that after years of not being shouted at, I get a 'bent, and then get something most rides  ;D

After three months off the 'bent, I took it for a short ride and realised I'd completely forgotten what it was like:  Being given room when overtaking.  Cheerful hootings-at while negotiating roundabouts.  WVM 'helpfully' stopping the traffic so I could pull out. Endless shouts of "Sick bike!" and "What the --?!?".  My left-hook spidey sense tingling, looking over my shoulder and realising that the car had matched speed mid-overtake so the passenger could get some decent footage with their iPhone.

After a while that all becomes normal, then you ride an upright and realise that they're slower than recumbents because of the extra power draw of the dynohub-powered cloaking device.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on February 26, 2011, 03:25:53 pm
Must admit - I'm struggling to work out if the hooting is indeed cheerful or of the "what the hell are you doing with that on the road" variety. Not that I care much if it is the latter.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on February 26, 2011, 03:31:42 pm
Sometimes it's hard to tell, but sometimes it's shave-and-a-haircut or similar, and/or accompanied by a wave and a thumbs up, which I think is fairly unambiguous.  Unless they're deliberately trying to distract you at critical moments, of course.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rower40 on February 26, 2011, 06:57:23 pm
And yet recumbents are "So difficult to see".  It must be true, because every motorist tells me that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on February 26, 2011, 07:05:51 pm
Must admit - I'm struggling to work out if the hooting is indeed cheerful or of the "what the hell are you doing with that on the road" variety. Not that I care much if it is the latter.

I borrowed mrs. jogler's Trice one day last week to fetch some shopping from the village(both cars were absent at the time).As I zoomed* back up the hill I was peeped at by a WVM.My almost synchronised look & middle digit display was quickly modiffied to something more hailfellowwellmet as I realised it was a social acquaintance in a vehicle not normally used by him ::-)

*there may be an element of exaggeration or economy with the truth or a blatant lie
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on February 26, 2011, 07:09:37 pm
And yet recumbents are "So difficult to see".  It must be true, because every motorist tells me that.

It is annoying!!  Especially when many sports cars are lower than me, and my head- and taillights are higher than those on the sports cars.  I was just teasing a dude in a Lotus Elise on Thursday for being too low and needing a flag, he laughed.  No driver would think about saying that about a sports car, nor would hesitate to drive one in London traffic.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: pdm on March 06, 2011, 03:15:00 pm
Saw this in the web today....  ;)

Rosscott, Inc.  &raquo; Archive   &raquo; The System 472: Road Sage (http://www.notquitewrong.com/rosscottinc/2011/02/28/the-system-472-road-sage)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on March 31, 2011, 08:20:46 pm
I was impressed that the driver of a car in a queue of traffic going the other way this morning, took the trouble to wind down his window and lean out, so he could call me a dickhead.

Now I admit that  I was riding a recumbent trike, which might give the neuronically challenged some cause for concern, but what really intrigues me is what he gets from shouting a random and rather un-original insult, that makes it worth bothering.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on March 31, 2011, 08:26:54 pm
he gets the satisfaction known only to a dickhead
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mad Jack on March 31, 2011, 09:54:31 pm
Group of about 15 BMX lads on the local Sustrans path shout as I pass - "Hard core rider approaching with glasses". I just smiled as I blasted pass them at evens!  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: YahudaMoon on March 31, 2011, 09:58:42 pm
DO A SKID !
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 31, 2011, 10:08:45 pm
Group of about 15 BMX lads on the local Sustains path shout as I pass - "Hard core rider approaching with glasses". I just smiled as I blasted pass them at evens!  ;D

Evens on a Sustrans path is pretty hardcore...   :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on March 31, 2011, 10:15:51 pm
Evens on a path!

Sorry.  Not right.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on April 05, 2011, 09:42:40 am
This guy in a Porsche shouting wanker.  Everyone seems to think it's at the car behind me, and that's entirely possible, but I'm slightly sceptical because I've had many hundreds of shouts of wanker because of riding a recumbent, and never once in that time heard one car driver shout that to another.

Edit for new version showing driver looking at me:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWnO0TQcUhc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWnO0TQcUhc)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Honest John on April 05, 2011, 04:48:24 pm
I've had many hundreds of shouts of wanker because of riding a recumbent

Any idea why? I'd've thought a more common reaction would be "WTF is that?".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tigerrr on April 05, 2011, 06:00:37 pm
Recumbents really bring the hate out.  Not just from car drivers but I suspect from a lot of cyclists too! I think people see a recumbent and think 'exhibitionist excentric tosser, has to be different, thinks he is clever does he etc etc'.  and 'obviously he is not like me at all'.
It irritates because it does attract attention. Given that being on the road is for a lot of people a deeply narcissistic experience with 'rules' about how one should be, the recumbent rider appeasr to breakl the rules in so many ways that he must be a wanker.
Plus - I often bash one out as I go along because it is easier when lying down so maybe they have a point.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: henshaw11 on April 05, 2011, 06:27:33 pm
You must be more practiced - just sends me into a speed wobble ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Honest John on April 05, 2011, 06:30:57 pm
appeasr to breakl the rules in so many ways that he must be a wanker.

Bloody hell, haven't people changed.

When I were a lad people who broke the rules were heroes.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: john74 on April 05, 2011, 06:59:43 pm
i had a good one tonight, got the usual "wankaa" so from nowhere i replied "are you offering your services then"? he didnt get it. ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on April 12, 2011, 09:45:31 am
And one tells me to buy a car.   ;D


    YouTube
        - B15NEO says buy a car
   (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkpVnoGN_-A)

One commenter suggested his van was worth £1000, rather less than my bike.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 12, 2011, 02:27:18 pm
Pah, amateurs!  I got shouted at to "get a fucking car[1] you wanker" a couple of weeks ago.  And I wasn't even on a recumbent.   :P


[1] Presumably that's one with room for a mattress in the back, rendering the masturbation unnecessary?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on April 12, 2011, 07:08:32 pm
Got the ultimately original

"get off and milk it"

tonight. Very dissapointing.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on April 12, 2011, 07:17:24 pm
Got the ultimately original

"get off and milk it"

tonight. Very dissapointing.

LOL!  I love those, they are far less common nowadays.  In that London you can sometimes return the compliment a bit down the road when leaving them behind in the queue.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 24, 2011, 07:13:20 pm
"Get a proper bike!"

Nothing particularly unusual about that, until I realised it was coming from the passenger of a Smart Fourtwo.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on May 24, 2011, 10:17:16 pm
Today in the park a...

"Woah - that's Mint*

Gave them a wave  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on May 24, 2011, 10:55:13 pm
wurrugh urgh furrrgl wanker ugrl furg luuur redlight


Only this was a cyclist, at me, for stopping, as he weaved past
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on May 26, 2011, 10:41:10 am
Not shouted and to be fair, not an oik, but I got a " Oh no it's a Martian!" from a chap as I entered work this morning.

I'm guessing that my prescription cycling glasses are even less flattering than I thought.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 25, 2011, 01:25:36 am
I had a driver shout (I assume sarcastically) that I had a fantastic arse yesterday.  Realised I haven't had an arse comment for absolutely ages.  Think I've been riding a recumbent too much.   ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rower40 on September 25, 2011, 07:35:16 am
I've had time to reflect on the "Nice Arse" comment hurled at me from outside Worksop hospital in the early hours of last week's Saturday morning.

My bum does excellent work in connecting my legs to the rest of my body.  I'd be rather lost without it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Aidan on September 25, 2011, 07:44:41 am
I once had a Landrover draw up alongside me on a small country road. And the horsy lady in the passenger seat said " you need a bigger saddle" . Now as they were towing a  horsebox, I take it to mean I should be riding a horse, but it could have meant she thought I had a big arse and my saddle wasnt big enough!  I like the first one best ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: welshwheels on September 25, 2011, 08:04:49 am
"Get a proper bike!"

Nothing particularly unusual about that, until I realised it was coming from the passenger of a Smart Fourtwo.   :facepalm:
pmsl   ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on September 25, 2011, 08:50:40 am
There is a danger that I became an oik last Tuesday.

Heading south on the A34, just leaving Congleton on the trike, I spied a young woman going the other way, on the opposite pavement on a *unicycle*. In a moment of genius  :-\ I said "I think I've got one of your wheels"

She grinned.

I hope she heard what I said, and not "I WHIGH  ISG SOG OOS JS HASL WHOOOX"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Auntie Helen on September 25, 2011, 08:51:08 am
All I get in this bit of Essex is "I want one!"

They could always go out and buy one if they really wanted one!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cunobelin on September 25, 2011, 09:36:56 am
"Get a proper bike!"

Nothing particularly unusual about that, until I realised it was coming from the passenger of a Smart Fourtwo.   :facepalm:


Had that one when out on the trike.

About 5 minutes later ended up beside the vehicle, and moron leans out and again shouts "get a proper f@cking bike"

Answer is very simple

Point out wheels and count to three, than apologise for causing his brain to overheat counting as far as 3

The two guys in the back seat found it very amusing
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nicknack on September 25, 2011, 09:46:40 am
All I get in this bit of Essex is "I want one!"

They could always go out and buy nick one if they really wanted one!

FTFY
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: LindaG on September 29, 2011, 02:43:05 pm
Dunno what he shouted at me, but following a very close overtake some Yoof leaned out of the car passenger window and bellowed summat.  The really odd thing was, he'd wrapped something round his head so you couldn't see his face!  Which freaked me out, so I didn't ask him to come back and say it again properly.

No respect for their elders.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 29, 2011, 03:55:49 pm
I really think what's needed are a series of public information films, explaining to the oiks exactly how intelligible comments shouted from a moving vehicle are over wind, tyre and engine noise.

They'd either give up, or make more of an effort...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on September 29, 2011, 03:57:07 pm
I really think what's needed are a series of public information films, explaining to the oiks exactly how intelligible comments shouted from a moving vehicle are over wind, tyre and engine noise.

They'd either give up, or make more of an effort...

Like using BSL?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 29, 2011, 04:00:19 pm
Like using BSL?

Or eggs  :-\


I once got the helmet lecture (and told to ride on the pavement) from a ~7 year old child in the back of a taxi in BSL.  Unfortunately I needed both hands for braking, so didn't get an opportunity to debate the legality.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spesh on September 29, 2011, 04:46:07 pm
I really think what's needed are a series of public information films, explaining to the oiks exactly how intelligible comments shouted from a moving vehicle are over wind, tyre and engine noise.

They'd either give up, or make more of an effort...

That depends on whether it is possible to explain doppler shift in words of up to one syllable.  :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 29, 2011, 05:03:10 pm
That depends on whether it is possible to explain doppler shift in words of up to one syllable.  :demon:

Fairly easily, if the syllable is "Ouuuraaaaaaaaaaaagh!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spesh on September 29, 2011, 05:14:55 pm
That depends on whether it is possible to explain doppler shift in words of up to one syllable.  :demon:

Fairly easily, if the syllable is "Ouuuraaaaaaaaaaaagh!"

;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: swinger76 on September 29, 2011, 06:19:31 pm
i get them a lot when iam out riding just ignore them just ignorant ppl that thinks they better then anyone that has got no engine
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Socks on September 29, 2011, 07:13:24 pm
Altho I sometimes get a nice surprise - riding a vintage Moulton home, wind behind me, going as fast as the rush hour traffic.  A car load of yoofs slowed down to drive alongside so I assumed the usual inane insults but no ....

I was asked about the bike, and the response was 'you're going as fast as we are'

Dave
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on October 01, 2011, 10:18:21 pm
Last night, as I gave a friend's child a lift home on the Pino, we were spotted by a yoof.

"Man, that is well cool...." said inna gangsta stylee

<slight pause as he clocks the complexity and uber coolness of the Pino>

"How do they do that?"


And today, out en route to Crystal Palace from Gravesend, via the Hoo peninsula (ask Jurek why), a Small Boy saw the Pino

Small Boy :"Where did you get that bike?"

Me: "A bike shop in Dulwich"

Small Boy, emphatically: "That's where I'm going"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on October 03, 2011, 09:15:47 am
I wasn't riding - I'd just dismounted and was walking along the High Street to a bank.  Drunken oik said, so slurred I almost missed it

"You're too old for lycra"

I responded, "When you're faster than me you can criticise.", but I suspect it was lost on him.

But I regard this as progress.  A few years back, I'd have expecte him not to say I was too old, but too fat.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Rimnod on October 03, 2011, 04:48:13 pm
County road. single lane, 12%, 1km plummet into a left hand sweep before the road opens out a bit and levels.   Blue transit on my wheel all the way down, pulls along side as the road levels, passengers window open and I'm thinking 'here we go.'

Driver leans forward and shouts "42 miles an hour there mate, your a nutter!"  He then pulls off into the distance.

Made me grin
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: itsbruce on October 03, 2011, 04:51:40 pm
I had an oik on a bicycle shouting stuff at a runner (me) this afternoon.  Too garbled to tell what.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on October 03, 2011, 07:07:27 pm
This evening - plodding up the hill out of Congleton - rear seat passenger: "can't you go faster in that thing?"

Me (grinning): "not uphill I can't"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rower40 on October 03, 2011, 08:33:13 pm
FNRttS: Trans-midnight, somewhere on the Cowley Road, Oxford.

Young Lady in Short Skirt: "Are you lot serious?"
Me: "No!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on October 11, 2011, 01:31:27 pm
Last night - same place - in the rain.

 LOUD SQUEAL right by my right ear - obviously intended to startle. Fortunatley my startle reflex has attrophied with overuse, so I just looked bemused at the twonk is he pulled his head back into the mini bus.

I'd like to think he felt stupid as I looked at him, but I doubt his brain is developed sufficiently for that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si_Co on October 21, 2011, 08:06:34 am
On the way to work today, white van comes alongside passenger shouts:  "Nice ar$e"
As the van passes inside, the cab "That was a bloke!"

 ;D

Might be time to get the pony tail trimmed
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on October 21, 2011, 01:52:30 pm
On the way to work today, white van comes alongside passenger shouts:  "Nice ar$e"
As the van passes inside, the cab "That was a bloke!"

 ;D

Might be time to get the pony tail trimmed

 ;D ;D ;D

Nah, get it bleached. Research Shows drivers give cyclists with long blond hair more space...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mmmmartin on October 21, 2011, 08:47:40 pm
Very out of date, but......

on the Seething 600k, about pub chucking out time, a crappy Vauxhall Corsa, favoured oik transport, draws up alongside as i am on a minor road. "Oi mate your back wheel is following you!" After a few words explaining what i'm doing and where I have been and going to, there's a bit of a silence. "Respect." Then they drove off.

maybe one day they'll take up audax?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: PeteB99 on November 05, 2011, 01:35:46 pm
Not Oiks and not shouted but nice anyway

Two little kids on BMXs outside Spar

Kid 1 - That's a really sick bike mister

Kid 2 - Yeah I like them little wheels

Kid 1 - Is it one of them foldaway ones?

Cue a couple of minutes explaining how it folds
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on November 05, 2011, 09:07:29 pm
One from a couple of weeks back, whilst out on the bent:

"Man, that bike is sweet. And he's got bare muscles."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: why1040 on November 05, 2011, 09:15:04 pm
Riding through Uxbridge after dark, one bloke on an unlit BSO to his mate on a matching one:

"Blimey, she's got good lights!"

 ;D   :smug:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 05, 2011, 09:17:23 pm
We rode to Whitby, and as predicted, at no point did any goths shout "Cyclewankers!" or similar at us.  Just a nod of respect from a couple of the steampunk persuasion as I winched the SMGT up a Bastard Hill.

I like goths.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 26, 2011, 12:12:02 am
Because sometimes it isn't funny:

Particularly unpleasant incident today, somewhere on the A513 between Tamworth and Burton:  Solid white line through some bends, lorry holding back patiently behind me.  Nowhere sensible to pull in (it's all soft verge), so I just keep trundling as fast as my aching joints will allow until the road straightens out and the lorry performs a safe overtake.  Hatchback appears following the lorry (which is heavily loaded and taking time to move up through the gears), with a Mk 1 chav sticking out the passenger window, waving a fist aggressively, shouting "...UCKING [inaudible] FUCKING BIKE!".  Somewhat predictably, the abuse turns sexual as they get a couple of car lengths ahead.

I do try to be zen about these incidents, but I fear it would have wrecked my cycling mojo for the rest of the day, if the lurgy hadn't already done the job.

 :(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Oaky on November 26, 2011, 01:17:30 am
Because sometimes it isn't funny:

Particularly unpleasant incident today, somewhere on the A513 between Tamworth and Burton:  Solid white line through some bends, lorry holding back patiently behind me.  Nowhere sensible to pull in (it's all soft verge), so I just keep trundling as fast as my aching joints will allow until the road straightens out and the lorry performs a safe overtake.  Hatchback appears following the lorry (which is heavily loaded and taking time to move up through the gears), with a Mk 1 chav sticking out the passenger window, waving a fist aggressively, shouting "...UCKING [inaudible] FUCKING BIKE!".  Somewhat predictably, the abuse turns sexual as they get a couple of car lengths ahead.

I do try to be zen about these incidents, but I fear it would have wrecked my cycling mojo for the rest of the day, if the lurgy hadn't already done the job.

 :(

:( indeed.

The SMGT is, of course, ideally suited to mounting land-based-torpedo-like-custom-radio-controlled-(or-autonomous)-ordnance particularly suited to picking out targets that have recently overtaken you.

The major difficulty being the balance between making the target acquisition easy versus surety of being able to dodge the flaming debris.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: CamPhil on November 26, 2011, 02:45:01 am
I must remember to artfully disguise my crutch carriers as a launch system for a self-guided weapon  :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on November 26, 2011, 08:54:18 am
Young Chavette on a segregated cycle path "you're blindin me wiv dem lights" No, I'm blinding you with those lights"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on November 26, 2011, 08:56:13 am
Waiting at a red I had the timeles "your wheel's spinning round"  "I'm stationary, do you want to have a rethink?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: gerwinium on November 26, 2011, 09:21:42 am
Because sometimes it isn't funny:

Particularly unpleasant incident today, somewhere on the A513 between Tamworth and Burton:  Solid white line through some bends, lorry holding back patiently behind me.  Nowhere sensible to pull in (it's all soft verge), so I just keep trundling as fast as my aching joints will allow until the road straightens out and the lorry performs a safe overtake.  Hatchback appears following the lorry (which is heavily loaded and taking time to move up through the gears), with a Mk 1 chav sticking out the passenger window, waving a fist aggressively, shouting "...UCKING [inaudible] FUCKING BIKE!".  Somewhat predictably, the abuse turns sexual as they get a couple of car lengths ahead.

I do try to be zen about these incidents, but I fear it would have wrecked my cycling mojo for the rest of the day, if the lurgy hadn't already done the job.

 :(

Death is too good for them. Maybe helmet cam is in order to publicly name and shame the twunts?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: why1040 on November 26, 2011, 10:10:54 am
Because sometimes it isn't funny:

Particularly unpleasant incident today, somewhere on the A513 between Tamworth and Burton:  Solid white line through some bends, lorry holding back patiently behind me.  Nowhere sensible to pull in (it's all soft verge), so I just keep trundling as fast as my aching joints will allow until the road straightens out and the lorry performs a safe overtake.  Hatchback appears following the lorry (which is heavily loaded and taking time to move up through the gears), with a Mk 1 chav sticking out the passenger window, waving a fist aggressively, shouting "...UCKING [inaudible] FUCKING BIKE!".  Somewhat predictably, the abuse turns sexual as they get a couple of car lengths ahead.

I do try to be zen about these incidents, but I fear it would have wrecked my cycling mojo for the rest of the day, if the lurgy hadn't already done the job.

 :(

I had this the other week-I think it's something to do with hatchbacks...

Riding home as fast as possible on Charlotte's bike after an unscheduled deflation (which defeated us due to surprise Woods valves and an unstickable rear wheel)-so already somewhat stressed, I met a hatchback coming in the OPPOSITE DIRECTION.  The shouts of "f*cking cyclist" were one thing, but one suggested that they "turn round and get...(the rest was inaudible as they had gone round the bend).  I cycled very fast and with half an eye over my shoulder for quite some time after that, but they didn't in fact return!

This was only a couple of days after I'd been offed by a hatchback too!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 26, 2011, 04:34:00 pm
I had this the other week-I think it's something to do with hatchbacks...

Presumably that they're the only cars that particular demographic of macho idiots can afford to insure.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Adrian on November 26, 2011, 04:34:35 pm
I had this the other week-I think it's something to do with hatchbacks...

Presumably that they're the only cars that particular demographic of macho idiots can afford to insure.

They have insurance?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 26, 2011, 04:42:11 pm
They have insurance?

I assume so.  Otherwise the budget would stretch to a bigger penis.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: why1040 on November 26, 2011, 04:48:35 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Chris S on November 28, 2011, 05:36:08 pm
Fboab and I enjoyed a Golden Oldie at School O'Clock on Friday afternoon, near Retford. A loud chorus of "Waaannnkhaaaaaaa!" from the top deck of the school bus. Which was nice.

We couldn't hear if the plural was used (we were on a tandem) so they could have been only referring to one of us - hard to say though, really.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on November 28, 2011, 07:04:38 pm
To be fair, only one of us was wearing a ridiculous 'tache, so probably singular.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Chris S on November 28, 2011, 07:14:11 pm
To be fair, only one of us was wearing a ridiculous 'tache, so probably singular.

Bugger. Nobody ever yells at me.  :P
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on November 28, 2011, 07:15:36 pm
To be fair, only one of us was wearing a ridiculous 'tache, so probably singular.

Bugger. Nobody ever yells at me.  :P
;D

ETA - I think they may do soon!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nicknack on November 29, 2011, 01:12:50 pm
Bugger. Nobody ever yells at me.  :P

Think yourself lucky. I get shouted at practically every time I go out, on bike or not.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on November 29, 2011, 01:39:55 pm
Don't want to meddle, but that state of affairs would improve if you put some clothes on....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Butterfly on November 29, 2011, 02:05:36 pm
Bugger. Nobody ever yells at me.  :P

Think yourself lucky. I get shouted at practically every time I go out, on bike or not.
That's Sittingbourne for you. Anyone with some style is such a shock, the locals can't help shouting out.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nicknack on November 30, 2011, 08:42:57 am
Bugger. Nobody ever yells at me.  :P

Think yourself lucky. I get shouted at practically every time I go out, on bike or not.
That's Sittingbourne for you. Anyone with some style is such a shock, the locals can't help shouting out.

Why, thank you!  :-*

Contrast 5 days walking round Amsterdam where all I got was the occasional stare from a kiddie.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on December 10, 2011, 07:09:18 pm
Not shouted and not really oiks, but anyway...

On the train up to That London for the FNRTTC with the Pino.

Two yoofs, innit, wander into the carriage, trousers low slung inna gangsta stylee.

"Man that bike is well cool"

We chatter a bit. They're genuinely interested in the layout of the bike, so I explain that I sit at the back with all the controls.

"And does your Laydee sit here?" asks one, pointing at the recumbent front seat.

I nod

"Man, she's taking the piss". I think he was suggesting that she wouldn't put any effort in.

At that point my Laydee, Mrs Hall who is sitting round the corner out of sight speaks:

"Excuse me. I'm his Laydee"

Cue much well meant and embarrassed apologies from the two lads.  Made me smile the whole night.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on December 10, 2011, 07:20:16 pm
That's a great tale Tim!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on December 11, 2011, 09:17:52 am
On Friday,boosted by a slight downhill section I was going at a reasonable lick for once, past a couple of school lads at the bus stop.....cue a theatrical thumbs up and and what sounded like 'wahaaay!'.  Made me smile I must admit.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on December 11, 2011, 12:14:53 pm
Similarly  - Friday AM, went past some schoolkids at the bust stop in Congleton. "wahaaaay - not seen him for ages" (I was on the trike)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonyh on December 11, 2011, 12:37:46 pm
Audaxing to York, "controlling" at the shop at Bottesford at going-to-school time, group of 12-year-olds:

"cor, like your bike!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on December 14, 2011, 06:35:14 am
On the way home yesterday,  as I cut through the unlit park "you need a health warning with those lights".........

The person making this comment was of course a cyclist, sans lights of any description.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 14, 2011, 05:07:48 pm
On the way home yesterday,  as I cut through the unlit park "you need a health warning with those lights".........

The person making this comment was of course a cyclist, sans lights of any description.

The time-delayed witty response would therefore be "You need a health warning for yours".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: The Seldom Killer on December 15, 2011, 07:03:03 am
Coming home through Hillsborough the other night and I pulled a trackstand between the tram tracks waiting for the lights to change and the tram to pull off. Got heckled by some lads with plenty of "you'll never make it, your gonna fall off" and "he's going, he's going over" stuff. The lights changed, the tram pulled away and I quite smoothly popped the front wheel and rolled away to a round of applause and some cheers.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on February 15, 2012, 09:05:24 pm
Taking my first ride on a recumbent this year, I was entertained by the passenger in an overtaking car doing uncannily good Sweep (as in Sooty and) impressions at me as they passed.  That's a new one on me.   ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: plum on February 15, 2012, 09:56:19 pm
I'd dropped two or three hundred yards behind the main group on a club ride a while ago, when some little kids coming from the opposite direction started having a laugh at me for being so crap. "No", I said, "I'm lapping them". Don't think they believed me.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: phantasmagoriana on February 15, 2012, 09:58:37 pm
I got some sort of indistinguishable shout (it sounded like "waaaaarghhhh") on the way home tonight. Happens very rarely, probably because there are lots of cyclists around here (oiks would soon get bored/lose their voices if they shouted at every one... ::-)).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Notsototalnewbie on February 15, 2012, 10:02:24 pm
Tonight little kids throwing a ball from one side of the road to the other shouted something that sounded disturbingly like 'Blind her!' while aiming the ball at my face and making to throw it. Nothing actually hit me and I may give them the benefit of the doubt by assuming they were actually saying something different, perhaps in another language.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on February 15, 2012, 10:36:46 pm
I'm still trying to work out what was shouted at me on the evening commute this week.
Single occupancy male driver shouted as he overtook.  Not the usual "Whaaaaggghwhawhawhaaaaag!"
It sounded very much like "Ex-ist  *oop"  Must have been important as he had opened his passenger side window to tell me about it.

That's not "exist" where the second syllable is stressed.  The first syllable was stressed - like sexist, without the s.
*oop had a leading consonant, but I can't work out what it was.

We were on a reasonably free running piece of road, and as far as I am aware, we hadn't interacted at all.

Well, gave me some fun trying to work out what it could have been, all the way home on an otherwise dull commute.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Feline on February 15, 2012, 10:53:38 pm
Weirdly on Tuesday Simon and I were shouted at a couple of times, which is rather unusual in these parts. It also happened on Saturday up on the Mendips. We were wondering if it is something about being on a tandem that seems to invite it. It could also have been explained by passing within 5 miles of Bridgwater tbh.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Chris S on February 15, 2012, 11:00:17 pm
Weirdly on Tuesday Simon and I were shouted at a couple of times, which is rather unusual in these parts. It also happened on Saturday up on the Mendips. We were wondering if it is something about being on a tandem that seems to invite it. It could also have been explained by passing within 5 miles of Bridgwater tbh.

Being in a tandem invites much more attention, nearly all of it good-natured and smiley.

Only once, have we attracted a "Waaaannnnkaaaaaahhh" - that from the School bus at Retford, which (in keeping with Bridgewater) probably explains everything.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on February 15, 2012, 11:06:40 pm
Passed two gaggles of teenagers last night resulting in two lots of cackling. In fairness, I was on the trike, so cackling is probably justified.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on February 15, 2012, 11:26:20 pm
Yeah, it's an occupational hazard when you're on an unusual bike.  Over 50% of what I get is well-intentioned, if sometimes badly timed.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: henshaw11 on February 16, 2012, 11:09:54 am
I don't even need to be on a bike to have things shouted or gestured at me from time to time - probably summat to do with the possession of some long hair and a clearly offensive beard, and working on the outskirts of Staines..

This morning walking to the office I hear 'a beeep, beeep' and look up to see the twatty 18-yr old driver of an approaching white van signalling with his hand...presumably he was so pleased to see me that he was going to crack one off later..
(Which would seem a bit of a silly thing to do in a sign-written van, but I didn't catch what the company was)

One other occasion some years ago when I was unicycling between home/station/office - similar thing, with 3 blokes crammed across the front seat of a tiny japanese van, tossing (notionally) in unison...actually quite funny, since they looked even more ridiculous than I did.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jacomus on February 16, 2012, 01:33:46 pm
Not an oik... A passenger in an Aussie Movers van, who shouted at a cyclist as they both passed me when I nipped out for a coffee.

Passenger: "Whhhhahaaarbgle- gaaaaaaarble!!!!"
Cyclist: [Ignore mode]
Passenger: "Whhhhahaaarbgle- gaaaaaaarble!!!!"

Then when they both stopped at the lights a little further down the road I saw the passenger lean out of the window and hand a hat (possibly a woolly bobble hat) to the cyclist, which resulted in some thumbs-upping by the cyclist as the van pulled away.

I've no idea how the van passenger got hold of the hat, or the van's rego, but fired off a quick e-mail to Aussie Movers anyway.

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Cyclists shouting stuff at oiks
Post by: clarion on February 16, 2012, 01:54:54 pm
Conversely, this morning, I was riding up to Mitcham Junction station and heard a regular 'fap fap' sound.  Now, I know it's a bit wooded round there, but... Aaaaanyway, I was then passed by a car with a very flat tyre.  I pulled in front of her in the queue and called out and pointed, while she gazed vacantly.  Two other cyclists tried to explain as well, but I don't know if they got through.  She didn't pass me again, so maybe she'd turned off into the car park to get it fixed.

I've recently been yelling at cars every night.  Those ones with no lights on in the dark.  A couple of nights ago, one realised I wasn't just a random maniac, switched the lights on, and flashed the hazard lights, presumably in a gesture of thanks (unless it was a genuine warning of danger).

Hijack over...
Title: Re: Cyclists shouting stuff at oiks
Post by: Butterfly on February 16, 2012, 02:04:13 pm
Conversely, this morning, I was riding up to Mitcham Junction station and heard a regular 'fap fap' sound.  Now, I know it's a bit wooded round there, but... Aaaaanyway, I was then passed by a car with a very flat tyre.  I pulled in front of her in the queue and called out and pointed, while she gazed vacantly.  Two other cyclists tried to explain as well, but I don't know if they got through.  She didn't pass me again, so maybe she'd turned off into the car park to get it fixed.

Hijack over...

Wasn't a small red car was it? I saw one by the lights on the common this morning. I couldn't see how they thought that driving it was a reasonable thing to do ??? It was a small enough car that I would have attempted to change it myself.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on February 16, 2012, 02:11:57 pm
No.  This would have been rather later, and the woman was completely unaware of...everything.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on February 27, 2012, 11:39:52 am
We had a lovely one on Saturday.
Melton Mowbray, Pubbe O'Clock on a Saturday Night.
"You are MENTAAAAAAAAAAL".

This has now fallen into general conversation.
'You alright?'
'MENTAAAAAAAAAAAL'
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: CommuteTooFar on February 27, 2012, 12:38:26 pm
Several times I have heard the passing pedestrians shout "Nice Bike"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on February 27, 2012, 06:06:39 pm
Had one of those strange encounters as I was locking up my bike at work this morning.

"You're the one who cycles to work aren't you?"

"Yeah why?"

You're crazy!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dibdib on March 03, 2012, 06:14:19 pm
Yesterday, cycling past some chavvy Swindonian yoofs swigging Stella along a cycle path at 6pm. "YOU FAT C**T".

Charming, innit.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Feanor on March 03, 2012, 10:04:14 pm
Yesterday, as I was on the final hard bit of the climb on my way home, in really quite dense low cloud, a car slowed as it apporached from behind.   It waited a monent, and then pulled past, with the front passenger window down.

I'm used to taking a bit of grief here as I'm wide on the bend to avoid the steep apex, and going slowly.

But no!
It's a car-full of young GURLS, and there was a thumbs-up out the window, and shouts of "Yayy! You're doing well! Nearly there!"
I didn't get their number though!

That was a first.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: recumbentpanda on March 03, 2012, 10:35:23 pm
Riding the bent past a gang of early teen girls.

One of them roars: 'YOU ARE SO AAWWESOME!'.

Her mate, sarcastically: 'Slap Me!'.

Brief pause.

Same mate: 'OWWWW!!!!!'.

First girl: 'Well, you said . . . '
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on March 04, 2012, 11:48:24 am
That reminds me of an old Steve Bell 'If...' strip.

"Give me a hot dog and hold the mustard"

[long pause]

"I'm holding the mustard. What do you want me to do with it?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 25, 2012, 12:55:16 am
And, to mark both my return to Birmingham after today's ride and the end of street-harassment awareness week, I had barely left Mordor Central when I got:

"Hey, bitch - bet that's not the only thing you like to do lying down."

...from one of a pair of (presumably drunken) pedestrians.  The other just made inarticulate football-grunting noises.


Witty comments about the bike go with the territory, but is the random misogyny really necessary?   >:(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on March 25, 2012, 07:24:29 am
And, to mark both my return to Birmingham after today's ride and the end of street-harassment awareness week, I had barely left Mordor Central when I got:

"Hey, bitch - bet that's not the only thing you like to do lying down."

...from one of a pair of (presumably drunken) pedestrians.  The other just made inarticulate football-grunting noises.


Witty comments about the bike go with the territory, but is the random misogyny really necessary?   >:(

I think your alternative is to hang around while they evolve, but that might take a little while
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on March 25, 2012, 09:00:07 am


Witty comments about the bike go with the territory, but is the random misogyny really necessary?   >:(

It's because their brain cell is in one of their bollocks ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on March 25, 2012, 09:30:01 am
And, to mark both my return to Birmingham after today's ride and the end of street-harassment awareness week, I had barely left Mordor Central when I got:

"Hey, bitch - bet that's not the only thing you like to do lying down."

...from one of a pair of (presumably drunken) pedestrians.  The other just made inarticulate football-grunting noises.


Witty comments about the bike go with the territory, but is the random misogyny really necessary?   >:(

I like to sleep lying down... :smug:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 25, 2012, 10:02:40 am
It's because their brain cell is in one of their bollocks ::-)

I considered that, but it seems to me that any self-respecting bollock would have more sense than to shout abuse at random women.  Contrary to the mission objective, and all that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on March 25, 2012, 10:10:15 am
I would have thought that the mission of a bollock lodging in the scrotum of a lumpen foopball-supporter type was far more likely to be to provide testosterone to the rest of the body in order to relieve the brain from the onerous task of decision-making, rather than that of procreation.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on March 25, 2012, 10:37:37 am
It's because their brain cell is in one of their bollocks ::-)

I considered that, but it seems to me that any self-respecting bollock would have more sense than to shout abuse at random women.  Contrary to the mission objective, and all that.

there is nothing within them or of them that has any respect for themselves,others nor anything whatsoever.Respect is anethma for them
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on March 25, 2012, 01:48:36 pm
I just take comfort from knowing that however challenging or crappy life gets, I'm not one of them, that must be unimaginably awful.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on March 25, 2012, 05:45:34 pm
Had some teenager in a small group shout out See You Next Tuesday, so I turned round and asked them if they'd like to say that again. No, not even when prompted. I called them chickens, still no response. Rode off after that. :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on March 26, 2012, 05:19:07 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_aC7w7NkKY
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 26, 2012, 05:26:40 pm
OT, but I really like what you've done with the mirrors there.  Very neat.  Do you find you knock them when you take your hand off the bars to indicate / scratch your nose / whatever?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on March 26, 2012, 05:56:13 pm
OT, but I really like what you've done with the mirrors there.  Very neat.  Do you find you knock them when you take your hand off the bars to indicate / scratch your nose / whatever?

Thanks! No, no trouble at all when riding. I tend to knock them when parking though, or brushing past my bike in the passage. I suppose it's partly because the whole bike is so narrow.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: greenmeansgo on March 27, 2012, 09:52:25 pm
 ha ha! What a bunch of twats!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on March 27, 2012, 11:23:27 pm
Oh, I dunno, I like to think they were just a normal bunch of otherwise nice teenagers. I thought that most us swore at an adult at least once at a similar age, and experienced the same sick embarrassment when confronted over it. Rite of passage perhaps? I think it's to their credit that they were embarrassed rather than descending to worse behaviour.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: darkpoint on March 28, 2012, 08:37:10 am
I was cycling my Penny near Victoria, and a cyclist going the other way shouted 'BAaa' 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Auntie Helen on March 28, 2012, 09:31:31 am
Yesterday I had "Get off the road, that's not a car" from a chap in a completely crap old Fiesta. My trike is worth probably ten times what that Fiesta's worth.

I was cycling on the road next to a not-too-appalling cycle path but I came from a direction which meant it wasn't easy to get on the path and it would run out before I got to where I wanted to.

I stuck my middle finger up at the chap anyway, which is not something I normally indulge in!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 28, 2012, 12:43:01 pm
Trikes do seem to attract more "get off the road"s than two-wheelers.  Presumably because you're taking up the extra 30cm that they'd otherwise use to squeeze past in.   :(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: barakta on March 28, 2012, 01:59:01 pm
Trikes make it easier to give the bastards one or two fingers! 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 28, 2012, 02:04:39 pm
Good point, well made  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 14, 2012, 03:34:24 pm
Had a car slow down mid overtake and the passenger deliver an admirably audible "What the fuck are you doing, you fucking dick?" while riding home yesterday.  "Going fucking home!" I replied.  They drove off.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tiermat on May 14, 2012, 03:43:00 pm
This reminds me of an incident I had in Catalonia.

Riding toward Matorell, through the industrial part of town, traffic going in every which direction (3 roads merging into one).  From behind I hear Beep Beep BEEEEEEEEEEEEP followed, a short while after by a wolf whistle.

I think the driver was a bit embarrassed when I turned around and he saw the beard and 3 days growth of stubble :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on May 14, 2012, 03:49:52 pm
are you sure about that? :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 14, 2012, 04:09:13 pm
Wolf-whistling is standard Birmingham street-harassment.  Occupational hazard if you're female and either conventionally attractive or very much not conventionally attractive.  I only usually get it when I'm not on an interesting bike or wearing cycling gear.

Not something I'd ever experienced before moving here... I assume its ironic use hasn't really taken off in other cities.  >:(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on May 14, 2012, 04:18:04 pm
This reminds me of an incident I had in Catalonia.

Riding toward Matorell, through the industrial part of town, traffic going in every which direction (3 roads merging into one).  From behind I hear Beep Beep BEEEEEEEEEEEEP followed, a short while after by a wolf whistle.

I think the driver was a bit embarrassed when I turned around and he saw the beard and 3 days growth of stubble :)
are you sure about that? :demon:

You think because of the location, Cata-might have been for him?

Donde esta mi abrigo?

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tiermat on May 14, 2012, 04:56:39 pm
Ham,

I take it you don't mean "Where is my shelter?" :) (Assuming you are using Castillian, not Catalan)

Està per allà, el blau
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Feline on May 14, 2012, 09:19:53 pm
My favourite shout we've had on the tandem so far was on the Brevet Cymru in Builth Wells where we got a cute "it's a double one!"  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Redjeep! on May 19, 2012, 12:18:59 am
Afraid I wasn't on my bike, but was walking back to my car this evening from a 10km running race when 3 lads in a sup'ed up Astra stopped next me and rolled the windows down. I was expecting some abuse, probably as the race had been quite big and had closed all the local roads for an hour or two.

Two lads leaned out. Music blasting in the background. They then extended their arms out the windows and gave me the thumbs up.

"Well done mate. Great running"
"Oh. Thanks a lot"
"No problem. Have a great weekend"   

I'm still not sure if they were just being friendly, or thought my race number (5) was my position (out of 3 or 400) . After all. It would have been a shame to tell them  ;)  .

Anyway. It made me think (not for the first time) about my own prejudices. It also made me realise (again) how lucky I am living in small town rural Ireland :).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Meegat on May 19, 2012, 12:23:32 am
I think they said "RREUeouoeAOAAaAArrrgghhh" as they whizzed by.

That's Oikish for 'I am a tosser', right?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wonky on May 19, 2012, 10:10:44 am
....That's Oikish .....

OT - Am reminded of a time at the Glastonbury festival (some) years ago. I was in a large slow moving crowd going through a narrowish gate, when I shouted out 'Out of the way you Oiks'.
A group of three lads in front stopped and turned around, one of them looked me up and down, and replied. 'Actually we're Upper class, and you....look...yes...definitely.... middle class, so technically you're the Oik.'
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on May 19, 2012, 02:26:54 pm
....That's Oikish .....

OT - Am reminded of a time at the Glastonbury festival (some) years ago. I was in a large slow moving crowd going through a narrowish gate, when I shouted out 'Out of the way you Oiks'.
A group of three lads in front stopped and turned around, one of them looked me up and down, and replied. 'Actually we're Upper class, and you....look...yes...definitely.... middle class, so technically you're the Oik.'

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: De Sisti on May 20, 2012, 10:18:46 pm
In this case it's cyclists POB shouting stuff at pedestrians.
On a couple of occasions walking home from work on a shared cycle/pedestrian path,
a guy on a bike has deliberately cycled in the pedestrian half of the lane (there are
regular images of bikes painted on the lane) straight for me. The latest coming together
resulted in his elbow brushing against me, at the same time him shouting at me to "get
out of the f...... way", despite the fact that I was walking very close to the grass verge.

The devil in me says that if I brace my shoulder for an impact he'd come off worse, possibly
breaking a collar bone as he tumbled towards the deck. Hey ho, it looks like I'll have to walk
on the grass then.
(http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7093/7236538490_ce94ef84e4_m.jpg)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: HTFB on May 21, 2012, 01:21:33 pm
We've a separate thread for cyclists shouting at oiks, somewhere.

Of course as a pedestrian you can be wherever you like on that path, so you have every right to walk on the side that doesn't get in the idiot cyclist's way---there's no need to risk the hidden dog-turds of the verge if you want to avoid confrontation.

Or you've also every right to stand your ground and brace for the impact. He'll come off worse.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 23, 2012, 10:46:44 pm
Today, barakta and I had a woman in the passenger seat of a taxi say an enthusiastic "Well done, well done!" to both of us as they passed.  I did check that we hadn't acquired an Olympic torch from anywhere or anything, so your guess is as good as mine.

Followed, a few minutes later, by a driver shouting "Idiot!" (and possibly other, inaudible, words) through his passenger window then driving off.  He then made a tapping his head gesture, so I'm wondering if he was reprimanding us for our lack of magic foam hats?

That one irrationally upset me actually.  Not so much for being told off, but because of what it represents.  :(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on May 23, 2012, 10:50:27 pm
I got a "Wa." today - or at least, that is all I heard. Don't think it was the obvious, either.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on May 23, 2012, 11:29:36 pm
Out on the recumbent this evening, I went past two yoofs. They said something I couldn't hear, so I took out my earbuds and asked them to repeat it:

"Mate, that bike is AWESOME"

Nice.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on May 25, 2012, 10:34:49 pm
I think the sun must bring them out round here. On my ride this evening I got three 'arrowarrgh' things and a middle finger for no apparent reason.

That's more than I'd had for the whole year up until today
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on May 25, 2012, 10:45:43 pm
Yesterday, when I was riding in file with Butterfly, we got a chap shouting 'Two abreast' out of a car. ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Feanor on May 25, 2012, 10:48:17 pm
On the ride home tonight, there was an incident at the bottom of my street.
A car had gone on fire, and the fire engine was blocking one lane.
Mr. Plod was manually directing traffic.

There was a monster 1-mile tailback out towards Banchory, which I came across.  The opposite lane had no traffic, so I pulled out and passed them all.

Oh, boy did that rile them.
Lots of hoots and curses.
And a couple of attempts to block me!

It was a case of 'If I can't go in my car, it's not fair that you can go on your bike!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ashaman42 on May 25, 2012, 10:49:48 pm
Yesterday, when I was riding in file with Butterfly, we got a chap shouting 'Two abreast' out of a car. ???

Silly man, you were obviously two abike  ::-)

 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on May 26, 2012, 05:57:03 pm
A fellow audaxer had lewd remarks shouted at him out of a car window today.

By me.  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on May 26, 2012, 08:01:15 pm
I keep getting wanker and dickhead comments at the moment. Well, I'm sticking them all on YouTube. The dickhead comment might well be right since I have a camera sticking up from my forehead.  ;D

I don't like this sort of thing, mind you. No wonder so many people don't cycle when drivers think it's fine to behave like that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on May 26, 2012, 08:59:33 pm
Popularity of the incoherent shout has gone up with the change in the weather. See, their window is already down, so all they have to do is shout - instead of needing the interaction of multiple parts of the motor cortex
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Auntie Helen on May 26, 2012, 09:02:56 pm
Yeah, I've noticed that - loads more shouts these days.

I was rather chuffed to have a "hello sweetheart!" yesterday though. I'm not the sort of gal that gets called sweetheart.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on May 26, 2012, 09:05:40 pm
Well, I just discovered that one of mine is a repeat appearance from an insane overtake he (well, the vehicle, dunno if he was driving) did almost a month ago. I don't see why we should have to accept shit like this. Roadsafed.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on May 29, 2012, 06:34:53 am
"woof woof woof".

To be fair though that was an actual dog (GSD) who then ran to the back window of the 4x4 to stare at me on the trike :-)

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 29, 2012, 02:11:28 pm
Ah, I woofed at a dog that was staring at me from the passenger window of a 4x4 yesterday.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Androcles on May 30, 2012, 10:55:11 pm
We got barked at this evening by a dog hanging out of the left hand front window of a car.

Relieved to see that the car was U.K. registered.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on May 31, 2012, 06:22:39 pm
On the way home tonight, driver of (white!) transit with unplated trailer. General sense of shout: it's a red light, wanker. My position? waiting at a T-junction for roadworks traffic lights to clear. Yup: stationary, and not even on the same road.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonyh on June 01, 2012, 05:26:27 am
Off Topic as entirely silent, but a new (to me) thing to learn from:

Quiet urban main road, 5.30 am: UNDERtaken, on the road, by a lad with a delivery bag.
Fortunately I was holding a straight line. He only just had room.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 18, 2012, 11:22:03 pm
Barakta's just reminded me of something that happened on the Manchester-Morcambe FNRttC:

Through the downpour, I made out the profiles of of three orthodox Jewish men, walking along looking almost as miserably wet as we were (they had, I suspect, slightly more weather-appropriate hats).  As I passed, one of them exclaimed "Sweet!"

Not the usual demographic, but good to know that recumbents are still cool on the Sabbath.   :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on June 19, 2012, 12:25:17 am
Barakta's just reminded me of something that happened on the Manchester-Morcambe FNRttC:

Through the downpour, I made out the profiles of of three orthodox Jewish men, walking along looking almost as miserably wet as we were (they had, I suspect, slightly more weather-appropriate hats).  As I passed, one of them exclaimed "Sweet!"

Not the usual demographic, but good to know that recumbents are still cool on the Sabbath.   :D

Did the men in hats have plastic raincovers on them? They do frequently...
The big brims would keep the wearers' (inevitable) spectacles dry.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 19, 2012, 12:45:12 am
Not that I noticed.  Of course, Mancunians probably just soak them in Nikwax...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 05, 2012, 06:18:43 pm
Van driver, in broad Jasper Carrott:

"Oy!  Somebody's took yer 'andlebars!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nightrider on July 08, 2012, 04:22:57 pm
A lone cyclist came through my village and about 6 teenagers started cheering him like in the tour.I know they were taking the piss,but it did make me smile.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on July 08, 2012, 04:50:45 pm
Got a big grin and thumbs up on my second ride on the streetmachine the other day.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Rhys W on July 08, 2012, 08:42:04 pm
Riding home on my own after today's clubrun, I was sat behind 3 cars at a red light waiting to cross a busy 4-5 lane road. Nobody was going anywhere for a couple of minutes. I heard a young woman in the car behind me try to ask me something, it sounded like she was asking directions, like "is this road going to...". Being a nice helpful kind of guy I turned round and rode up to her window to see if I could help...

Driver (angrily): "Is it legal for you to ride in the middle of the road?"
Me: (cheerfully) "Yes!"

I wasn't even riding, I was sat behind three stationary cars and a red light.  ::-)

Even worse, a group of 6 of us on a wide, straight stretch in a quiet rural area was given the predictable hanging out the passenger window shouting "SINGLE FILE!!!" By a policeman!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: delthebike on July 08, 2012, 08:45:18 pm
Even worse, a group of 6 of us on a wide, straight stretch in a quiet rural area was given the predictable hanging out the passenger window shouting "SINGLE FILE!!!" By a policeman!
Did you all take the same line as the furthest out rider?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on July 08, 2012, 09:13:39 pm
Get his number?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Rhys W on July 08, 2012, 09:25:58 pm
No, he'd sped off before we really realised what was happening. It would have made a nice juicy complaint because the cops of that area have "previous" (stopping riders riding 2 abreast, dragging innocent riders into the back of their car based solely on the word of an annoyed moton).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on July 09, 2012, 11:01:44 am
had a "Single file"! or two yesterday. Then a loud horn from the 3rd car - all 3 were tailgating eachother in a downpour and much standing water
(and no oncoming traffic, so we weren't delaying them by a single nano-second)
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ashaman42 on July 10, 2012, 06:33:03 am
Hmmm, I yelled at a car for overtaking me along a narrow cars parked both sides road last night whilst I myself was overtaking a cyclist.

It's only after I was well off down the road that I realised it could have been misinterpreted as me yelling at the other cyclist  :-[ :-\ I hope the fellow didn't take it that way.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 15, 2012, 08:54:16 pm
I can't believe I forgot to post this!

Random pedestrian:  "Are you from the future?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on July 15, 2012, 08:59:31 pm
Does your bike have a flux capacitor?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on July 15, 2012, 09:01:03 pm
I can't believe I forgot to post this!

Random pedestrian:  "Are you from the future?"
;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 15, 2012, 09:02:50 pm
Does your bike have a flux capacitor?

Sadly I was about 3 seconds too late with (and moving far too quickly for) "If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88mph, you're going to see some serious shit!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on July 15, 2012, 09:05:50 pm
I can't believe I forgot to post this!

Random pedestrian:  "Are you from the future?"

Ooh, what's the best response to that?

"Not yet"
or
"I used to be"
or
"Future?  You have no future."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on July 15, 2012, 09:17:41 pm
I can't believe I forgot to post this!

Random pedestrian:  "Are you from the future?"

Heh.

Some time ago I was talking to a Small Child about the current rate of exchange offered by the tooth fairy. When she told me she got a pound for a tooth I was amazed.

"A pound? When I  was your age I got sixpence"

<fx: wide eyed concern of a Small Child>

"Are you from The Olden Days?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on July 15, 2012, 09:19:12 pm
A pound?
*knocks own teeth out*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on July 15, 2012, 10:09:00 pm
I'm not sure if this really counts as the oik in question was half of an amplified double act at the end of today's BHF ride to Southend, announcing the arrival of cyclists.

"And now we have a man with a 14-speed hub gear. Sir, we are not worthy!"

To which I replied "I know you're not!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on July 15, 2012, 10:32:03 pm
This afternoon on the streetmachine, passed two lads - one on bike, t'other on scooter.

"Oh man, that's *sick*"

I do believe they were being complementary. Either that, or they don't like orange.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si_Co on July 19, 2012, 01:05:40 pm
Yoof on BSO

"get a fixie you pussy"

Had to laugh
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on July 19, 2012, 03:22:52 pm
Out in Welsh boondocks in the middle of the night between Llandiloes and Newtown (about midnight) we were hurtling along and yoofs leaned full out of their HiLux to give us some helmet advice. Couldn't tell if we were being told to put it on or take it off. As one of us was wearing one, and the other not, we were a bit uncertain who was deemed to have inappropriate headwear.
Whichever, it was pretty intimidating, we were doing 35kph and they were doing closer to 70 mph. It scared the living shit out of me, and I had to request a shaking stop.  :-\
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 19, 2012, 03:51:06 pm
Why is it that the ones who see fit to dispense unsolicited helmet advice always seem to try to make you fall off your bike in the process?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 19, 2012, 03:54:15 pm
Because they are brain-dead bags of wank?

Their sole virtue is that they couldn't be turned into zombies, come the zombie apocalypse. Zombies try to eat brains and these morons don't have any.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on July 19, 2012, 04:00:54 pm
I passed a group of four schoolgirls on their way home this afternoon.  I expected some kind of heckle, but it didn't come until I was most of the way past, when one yelled as loud as she could, presumably to put me off, make me wobble or whatever.  I've had this a few times recently, but it doesn't work.  And if you can't make me wobble right now, you're onto a loser. ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 19, 2012, 04:05:23 pm
Back when I returned to cycling (my previous experience had been majoritarily off-road, where zombies weren't really an issue), and hadn't developed a fully-functional spidey sense about such things, just such a gorilla-noise attack did make me wobble.  Indeed, I countersteered into a drain, and then veered alarmingly close to an overtaking van in an attempt to correct it.  They looked far too pleased with themselves, fuckers.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on July 19, 2012, 04:14:36 pm
I passed a group of four schoolgirls on their way home this afternoon.  I expected some kind of heckle, but it didn't come until I was most of the way past, when one yelled as loud as she could, presumably to put me off, make me wobble or whatever.  I've had this a few times recently, but it doesn't work.  And if you can't make me wobble right now, you're onto a loser. ;D

I get this from the local school bus stop. I'm sometimes ready on the AirZound button, and just occasionally I get the blip in when they start to yell and get a bigger fright on them than they manage on me.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ashaman42 on July 19, 2012, 09:37:33 pm
Couple of girls in a bus stop today came up with the ever so witty "Don't get a speeding ticket" as I (slowly) cycled past earlier. My only excuse is it was a nasty headwind.

My response was a half hearted sarcastic laugh which just got parroted back at me.

Of course I thought of several far more cutting replies once I was half a mile along the road  :facepalm:

Ho hum.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Feanor on July 19, 2012, 09:43:55 pm
I can't believe I forgot to post this!

Random pedestrian:  "Are you from the future?"

Did you have a baseball bat, and were looking for your current self?

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Sparky on July 20, 2012, 06:39:47 pm
Cycling through Dulwich this week when a silver BMW beeps its horn behind me, overtakes, pulls in and the passenger shouts: "Are you talking shit, bruv?"

Not sure what to make of that. He looked angry so I didn't stop to talk.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Androcles on July 21, 2012, 12:48:08 am
Good-natured heckle:  "Are you the Tour de France?"

Me: "No, we're the slow motion replay".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Fixedwheelnut on July 21, 2012, 10:39:55 pm
 I now realise why for years London drivers have been shouting "Vainquers"

 They were sure of Bradley Wiggins win years ago ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 23, 2012, 10:27:32 pm
Two exciting new ones today:

Firstly, a loud sneeze, projected from the passenger window of an overtaking car.  May have been a coincidence, my hayfever's pretty awful at the moment too.

Secondly: "Why don't you get a motorbike?"

I failed to think of a good retort.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on July 23, 2012, 10:35:54 pm
Secondly: "Why don't you get a motorbike?"

I failed to think of a good retort.

"Why don't you get a decent car?"

"Why don't you get a hovercraft"

"Why don't you just f........"  No, I trying to stop doing that one.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 23, 2012, 10:47:00 pm
I'm vaguely used to people expressing surprise that I don't and have never owned a motorbike.  It seems to be something that people think I might do.  I'm not entirely sure why.  I'd much rather have a LandRover (proper freeze-your-arse-off oil leak needs a bit of welding kind, not a wankpanzer).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ferret on July 23, 2012, 10:50:05 pm
I was shouted at this evening, don't know what they said, all a bit pointless really,

I had a landy like that, a week after I sold it I saw it abandoned in a lay-by on the A470,  :facepalm: 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: AndyK on July 24, 2012, 04:58:00 pm
Today. I was amused:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOvFA7AlvQ8
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on July 24, 2012, 05:01:57 pm
too much wind noise to hear the verbals
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on July 25, 2012, 12:52:17 am
I got shouted at by a sheep today down Cragg Vale.  It was refreshing to be shouted at by something with brains!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on July 25, 2012, 03:24:15 am
Saturday, I went to T*sco to do a Big Shop on George, and I was naughty and had fish and chips. I was moving quite well for me, between fifteen and eighteen mph on a fully loaded Galaxy.

The second shout was the classic incoherence, melding fat, fucker, pedal, tax...but the first made me smile. A car slowed down as I waited to turn right, and the driver, who had  clearly followed me from the store, grinned and shouted "Fish and chips agrees with you then!"
Title: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: AndyK on July 25, 2012, 07:26:29 am
too much wind noise to hear the verbals

Amid their applause: "yes! You're the best" "Go on Wiggins!" couldn't do anything but smile.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si_Co on July 25, 2012, 07:56:44 am
Abuse off a berk inna merc today for doing 26mph in the right hand lane of two lanes in a 30 zone immediately prior to.............turning right  ::-)

Fast today average 19.1 for the 12 miles, all came easy, perfect conditions, no wind ideal temps.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si_Co on July 25, 2012, 08:00:29 am
Oops wrong thread  ;D

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Paul Rainbow on July 25, 2012, 11:28:24 pm
Just riding back in a group from the wednesday night CTC ride,

Go on Wiggins!, Wiggins!,  Wiggins!,  Wiggins!,

Excellent!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on July 26, 2012, 07:47:30 am
Even Pollards Hill Cyclists, not especially known for their speed, got called Bradley!  We did wonder if they knew any other racing cyclists.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 26, 2012, 11:06:46 am
We got "Go Wiggo!" in a clearly friendly way from a group of teenagers last night coming back through Bristol.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on July 26, 2012, 02:42:19 pm
I got the full treatment cutting through the park the other day, though their appellation of choice happened to be Cavendish.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on July 30, 2012, 09:27:50 pm
The old saw again:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w4nMY3-A7YI
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on August 29, 2012, 12:02:08 am
From a couple of weeks back on the FNRTTC, in the wee small hours:

"Oh, go to bed!"

And on last week's Tandem Club rally, that old favourite:

"Can you ride tandem?" in obligatory faux norven accent. To which one of our number responded

"Yes, rather well actually"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: padbeat on August 29, 2012, 12:10:49 am
I had a "You c^*£$ want fucking everything, don't you?" today.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on August 29, 2012, 12:19:50 am
I got a bunch of young kids hanging out of a stationary BMW shouting, "Wiggy, Wiggy, Wiggy!"  It nearly made up for a succession of appallingly close passes.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: padbeat on August 29, 2012, 12:24:44 am
In fairness, I was riding up to Rest and Be Thankful (http://www.scottish-places.info/features/featuremap8454.html) last Friday when a Subaru Impreza waiting at the temporary traffic lights to come down wound their window down, leaned out and shouted "Allez, allez, allez!" at me. I was braced for abuse and was so surprised I hardly had time to say cheers!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on August 29, 2012, 12:31:13 am
Is that one of Wade's roads?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on August 29, 2012, 12:46:51 am
Rest and Be Thankful is in scenic Scotland.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on August 29, 2012, 01:07:30 am
Yes, but I notice it's on "Old Military Road" and was wondering if that's one of the roads Wade built to smash the Scots after Culloden but I may be mixing stuff up.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: padbeat on August 29, 2012, 01:15:50 am
R&BT is the pass between Arrochar at the top of Loch Long and Loch Fyne. The original track is ancient but the military road (which runs parallel to the current road) was one of Wade's, apparently to allow the Duke of Argyll's troops out to wherever they were needed rather than to allow access for troops to the Mull of Kintyre.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on August 29, 2012, 04:56:05 pm
Thanks, Padbeat.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on August 29, 2012, 06:14:23 pm
Some random ped on the way to work this morning.
"It's raining"

 ???
I was way past before I thought of the brilliant response
"Yeah, I know"
 :-\
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dibdib on August 29, 2012, 06:19:25 pm
Sorry if this has already been done elsewhere but:

Guy threatens to kill cyclist; cyclist gives camera footage to police who have secured a conviction.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3zWt1SYTlZU&feature=related

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Marco Stefano on August 29, 2012, 07:45:41 pm
In Ilfracombe a couple of weeks ago, on a tourer, but wearing a forum KOTM jersey.

Old guy walking the other way: "King of the Mountains!"
Me: "I wish!"

Two days later, dragging up the long hill from Woolacombe beach (no KOTM jersey this time, it doesn't help on the hills).

Boy, with dad: "Bradley Wiggins!"
Me, sotto voce: "I climb like more like Cavendish, me..."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Marco Stefano on August 29, 2012, 07:51:40 pm
Oh, and yesterday coming out of work onto the road proper, colleague in car (but who cycles in sometimes on a carbon thing, a sportive rider) came alongside:

"Jealous!"

As I was on a tourer with a pair of panniers, I assume he meant jealous of being out on the bike in fine weather...  :-\
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: andrewc on September 01, 2012, 09:13:22 pm
No verbals, but at approx 05:00 this morning 4 of us were riding into Scotch Corner services when some idiots in a wankpanzer tried to blind us with spotlights mounted on their tin can.

No damage done, but what sad & pathetic lives these people must have if this is the sort of thing they have to do for amusement.

When I Rule The World, they will be gently reeducated, into useful, gentle, productive tins of catfood...... :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on September 01, 2012, 11:10:30 pm
Cats wouldn't eat them.

Can you get cans of dung beetle food?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on September 01, 2012, 11:19:17 pm
As I understood Andrew's post, they were already so-packaged.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on September 02, 2012, 06:24:23 pm
They were pretty much. Riding in a 4x4 and deliberately aiming and flashing the light in each rider's eyes while laughing and jeering. 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on September 02, 2012, 06:33:03 pm
On the FNRTTC as we pedalled through Sarf Lunnon, bloke leans out of taxi window:

"Is this some kind of bike ride?"

"Yes" I agreed "it is some kind of bike ride"

<puzzled>
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 02, 2012, 06:39:28 pm
I'm fairly sure something amusing was shouted at us on the way through Sutton, too, but I can't seem to remember what.   ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bobb on September 02, 2012, 06:42:14 pm
A chav shouted "Wanker!"at me from a blue Saxo today. I pitied his lack of imagination. I would imagine "Wanker" is shouted from blue Saxos approximately once every 10 seconds in the UK...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spesh on September 02, 2012, 06:46:36 pm
A chav shouted "Wanker!"at me from a blue Saxo today. I pitied his lack of imagination. I would imagine "Wanker" is shouted from blue Saxos approximately once every 10 seconds in the UK...

It's used as punctuation, along with "farkin caaaaaaaaaaant" and "innit?".    ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 02, 2012, 06:53:13 pm
I got "Bitch!" for having the tenacity to be oncoming traffic to a right-turner[1] on my ride home from the station yesterday.  It served as a reminder that I was back in Birmingham.  Now I think about it, the car in question *was* a small blue hatchback (though I was setting myself up to take the proper line through a set of potholes and badly placed drains, so didn't get a chance to notice the make).


[1] They'd done the usual "the car in front has deemed it safe to move, so I will too" thing, and had to stop.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on September 02, 2012, 07:04:23 pm
I'm fairly sure something amusing was shouted at us on the way through Sutton, too, but I can't seem to remember what.   ???

As a resident of that fair town I can say with some certainty that 'Sutton' and 'amusing' are mutually exclusive.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 02, 2012, 07:36:25 pm
Getting back into Bristol just before 10 last night, at the first red light a silver hatchback drew up alongside me with three or four blokes in it and one of them shouted, rather than yelled, "I fucking hate cyclists! I fucking HATE them!!!!!!!! They always get in the way at the last fucking minute! And they've got those gay cameras on their helmets. (pause...) Half the time." The pause may have been because he noticed I had neither helmet nor camera. Then again, he may just have been have been shocked at having used two nouns without a single "fucking". Then a small voice from the back of the car, "Ignore him, he's a wanker." Needless to say I already was ignoring him. Then the light changed and off we went.

Then at another red light further down the road outside a pub, a woman said, "Do you like muh willy?" pronouncing the fourth word alone in a sort of mock Northern accent. Then she hitched up her skirt and displayed what appeared to be some sort of knitted contrivance.  ???

Saturday night brings out all the most beautiful people in Bristol! But I can honestly say that it's the first time anything like that has ever happened to me - perhaps because I look like Geoff Capes in an acid rage or perhaps because I'm an elderly gent in a tweed jacket and trilby or perhaps because in fact such things do happen very rarely.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: HTFB on September 02, 2012, 08:18:46 pm
Teenager descending the Greenwich Foot Tunnel stairs as I carried my bike up them, to her mother:
Quote
He must be really good. He's wearing gloves.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: delthebike on September 06, 2012, 05:42:14 pm
I had a skinny, Wowbaggeresque, older gentleman, say it's easier with sideburns.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Rhys W on September 06, 2012, 05:55:36 pm
Stepping out of my front door this morning, I propped my lovely steel Art Decor Colnago Master on the wall while I locked the door.

A scrap metal van was slowly trundling down the street, the driver obviously looking out for anything he could pick up for free... "Is that scrap mate?"

 :o
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on September 06, 2012, 06:17:13 pm
Definitely an Oik!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on September 06, 2012, 07:16:28 pm
Not an oik but a colleague, who held the door open for me as I arrived "come on Eddie Merckx"  "Eddie Merckx, that's an old one"

"yeah, but then so are you"....no answer to that one I'm afraid.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonyh on September 06, 2012, 09:09:59 pm
I had a skinny, Wowbaggeresque, older gentleman, say it's easier with sideburns.

(Just mentioning that I at first read that as "easier THAN sideburns".)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on September 06, 2012, 10:27:12 pm
Yesterday evening as I jostled with the traffic, something mostly unintelligible, but including
"...kin road.....caaaahnt!"

I'm afraid my reflex response was along the lines of Arkell vs Pressdram, fortissimo.
 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nickp on September 08, 2012, 12:30:49 pm
Out on my ride this morning, after a slow single lane through roadworks, a 4x4 eventually screams past. A lady leans out and shouts something unintelligible then the driver squeezes past and slams the anchors on. I caught them up at the lights (inevitably) and was just about to return the compliment when the lady leans over and sweetly lets me know she was telling me about the hole in my shorts ... :facepalm:

Collapse of stout party ......
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 08, 2012, 11:21:57 pm
Oik onnabike, pissed to the point where I seriously doubted his ability to remain on said bike, stared at me in incomprehension this evening, before finally telling me to get a life.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on September 08, 2012, 11:28:11 pm
Greeting from a fellow cyclist this morning whilst I was leaving, and he was entering, Great Bardfield.

"Hello Beardie!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 09, 2012, 10:27:36 pm
Whereas a bearded cyclist addressed me as "young lad" this afternoon. He did look about 70, so it's relatively accurate.  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dibdib on September 09, 2012, 11:03:46 pm
A rather agressive "Wot woz dat, bruv?" from some spotty oik on a BMX,  An "FFS", muttered under my breath, amazingly got through his iPod earbuds after he nearly took me out while he was crossing the road.

He did half-heartedly give chase, presumably to try and fight me, but even with two full panniers I could maintain 20mph. I think even he realised quite quickly his little BMX couldn't match that, and even if he could, his gormless mates on foot definitely couldn't.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 09, 2012, 11:18:42 pm
On the way out of Studley on the Macride this afternoon, a Mk 1 oik comes bounding across a car park in our general direction.  "Excuse me!" he shouts.  "Yes?" said I, realising it was directed at me.  "Is she disabled?" (gesturing at barakta, some tens of metres ahead of me)  "Er, yes?" I reply, wearily.  Satisfied, he about turns and walks back to his Saxo[1].   ???

Inspirational.


[1] Okay, I didn't actually see the car.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: JennyB on September 10, 2012, 09:59:14 am
On the way out of Studley on the Macride this afternoon, a Mk 1 oik comes bounding across a car park in our general direction.  "Excuse me!" he shouts.  "Yes?" said I, realising it was directed at me.  "Is she disabled?" (gesturing at barakta, some tens of metres ahead of me)  "Er, yes?" I reply, wearily.  Satisfied, he about turns and walks back to his Saxo[1].   ???

Inspirational.


My brother once came visiting on his recumbent trike. An elderly lady later asked me who was the "poor disabled lad" she saw me out riding with.    :-\
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on September 10, 2012, 10:09:49 am
I had that on Wednesday. Drunkard out of the pub says I've escaped from the paralympics, and I said "Yeah, it's me legs" and pedalled off. Don't think he understood.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on September 10, 2012, 02:34:48 pm
On the way out of Studley on the Macride this afternoon, a Mk 1 oik comes bounding across a car park in our general direction.  "Excuse me!" he shouts.  "Yes?" said I, realising it was directed at me.  "Is she disabled?" (gesturing at barakta, some tens of metres ahead of me)  "Er, yes?" I reply, wearily.  Satisfied, he about turns and walks back to his Saxo[1].   ???

Inspirational.


[1] Okay, I didn't actually see the car.

Surely the correct answer is "No, she's downright fucking tenacious"?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on September 10, 2012, 02:52:35 pm
Another correct and accurate answer would be,
"Well yes, but she's a lot more 'able' than you are or ever will be, mate."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tigerbiten on September 10, 2012, 03:52:02 pm
My standard reply is "I'm not disabled, I'm just missing a bit." .........  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 10, 2012, 04:05:33 pm
It's karma, though.  Someone at Critical Mass on friday spotted the deaf symbol[1] on her rear mudguard and proceeded to have a conversation with her in sign language while they were riding along.  Which is surprisingly difficult to do on a two-wheeler (DAHIKT)  :thumbsup:


[1] Which I molished after a couple of frustrated bell-ringer incidents on cyclepaths.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on September 10, 2012, 06:59:34 pm
I had a nice "whatyadoinginthefuckingmiddleoftheroad' in Nottingham yesterday. "Cycling" was my answer, the understanding of which seemed for him to be the intellectual equivalent of contemplating the finer points of quantum mechanics for the rest of us. Also, it turned out this premium grade knobchuckler was in the wrong lane anyway. As I cycled up to the side of him (now he was in the correct lane at the red light he'd been so eager to reach before me), ready to despatch a loud Nelson "ha ha!", he did a runner through the red light, scattering a few pedestrians who had had the temerity to think the green man symbol meant cross.

London today was no better. A car stuck behind me for entire seconds as we approach the junction with a main road (does time run slower for these idiots?), doing the usual agressive revving that only makes me go slower. He pushed around me so he could nudge out into traffic. I figure there's no point antagonising drivers like this, it's quite patent they're beyond reason, to be honest I pity them and their boiling, pointless agression. Anyway, he totally blanked me as he pushed ahead, and then once he was on his way down the road, I got a doppler shifted "caaaaaannnnnntttttttt" yelled from his side window. They're oh so brave in their tin cans.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on September 10, 2012, 08:27:09 pm
We have been getting further evidence that everyone loves a tandem. The number of proto-chavs we've heard announcing to each other that "double bikes" or "two-er" are really cool..
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: benborp on September 13, 2012, 02:28:41 pm
I've just found out that the oik I encountered four months ago has been found guilty of (and it's a mouthful) using towards another person threatening, abusive or insulting words or behaviour with intent to cause that person to believe that immediate unlawful violence will be used against him or another by any person, or to provoke the immediate use of unlawful violence by that person.
Sentencing is in a months time.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on September 13, 2012, 02:35:23 pm
A good result so far then.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Butterfly on September 13, 2012, 02:58:19 pm
We have been getting further evidence that everyone loves a tandem. The number of proto-chavs we've heard announcing to each other that "double bikes" or "two-er" are really cool..
That is undoubtedly true. Recently I've had: 'That's a COOL bike', 'Wow look at that', 'Lady, can I have a go? - LADY!' and 'umphff'. The last was the noise made by a pedestrian standing in the road who was going to nip past as soon as I'd gone. Only I hadn't quite finished going and he had to do a sudden rethink :facepalm:. That is on top of the usual 'you've lost someone' and 'shouldn't there be someone there?' gesturing at the stoker seat.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Riggers on September 13, 2012, 03:12:18 pm
Greeting from a fellow cyclist this morning whilst I was leaving, and he was entering, Great Bardfield.

"Hello Beardie!"

You've been warned once already about wearing a mankini in public Wowers. Time for that Brazilian methinks.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: PaulR on September 13, 2012, 05:39:52 pm
We have been getting further evidence that everyone loves a tandem. The number of proto-chavs we've heard announcing to each other that "double bikes" or "two-er" are really cool..

Hmmm.
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-Oo6TgSHaPws/UEzsDBIRPMI/AAAAAAAAPpg/Xz_6IHTk4A0/s640/102.JPG)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: eck on September 13, 2012, 05:54:12 pm
I had to laugh a couple of weeks ago, in the last few miles of the Schiehallion Sunrise. I was riding a good bit behind mad recumbent man xrtim when I passed a few yoofs hanging about at a crossroads.
"Hey mister" one of them cried, "there's a man just went past, and he was riding a bike like <this>." They were all sat on the pavement, arms outsretched and waving their legs in the air.  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on September 13, 2012, 06:22:24 pm
I had to laugh a couple of weeks ago, in the last few miles of the Schiehallion Sunrise. I was riding a good bit behind mad recumbent man xrtim when I passed a few yoofs hanging about at a crossroads.
"Hey mister" one of them cried, "there's a man just went past, and he was riding a bike like <this>." They were all sat on the pavement, arms outsretched and waving their legs in the air.  ;D

Hahahahahaha!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Bairdy on September 13, 2012, 08:54:41 pm
Cycling through Taunton on a very rainy night in June, getting towards the end of the Avalon Sunrise 400.
The streets awash with pissed morons. I've never had so much abuse over 400 meters. It was deafening.
It should be an Olympic event. I quite liked it. ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: gordon taylor on September 15, 2012, 01:37:45 pm
Very much Not Oiks:

Slogging to town on my trike, up and round a blind bend... two hand-cyclist tricycle recumbents go streaking past the other way.

The first shouts "Hi"

The second says "Ay-up-right!"

Class... on every level!   ;D ;D ;D ;D  :thumbsup:

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Butterfly on September 24, 2012, 11:08:25 pm
Not an oik, and not shouted -

as I was cycling through a council estate (alone on the tandem), a chap who was walking the other way said: 'middle-class, middle-class, middle-class, middle-class'. When I looked at him over my shoulder after I'd passed, he looked directly at me and repeated it several times ???.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 24, 2012, 11:19:05 pm
You hadn't just got a bowl out to make a Pot Noodle in or anything like that, had you?   :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on September 24, 2012, 11:24:50 pm
Were you holding a Mary Poppins style umbrella? And, err... flying?  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Phil W on September 25, 2012, 01:09:55 pm
I tend to be fairly relaxed about insults on my commute.  I do it every day and someone might be waiting the next day with a group of mates.  But one time a group of teenage girls played chicken with me; I ran one of them over.  "Why'd you do that?", "Couldn't stop in time!".  Luckily I was on the mountain bike rather than road bike; so I came out fine. They wouldn't play chicken with me on subsequent times  :'(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: cornelius on October 01, 2012, 12:35:34 am
Once had some cheeky chaps and chappesses throwing cans (some full) at me on a midnight start to a Cardiff Byways Randonne. I didn't stop to retrieve the overs and merely kept me head down :-\ however I've often regretted it since...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bobb on October 01, 2012, 11:28:24 am
A couple of positive ones recently:

"Allez! Allez! Allez!" From a White Silver Van Man near Gt. Dunmow.

"Come on! Come on! Nearly there!" From a couple of workmen as I approached the summit of a short sharp climb out of the Roding valley.

Maybe we need a non-Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists thread!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on October 01, 2012, 11:35:47 am
Perhaps we do.  On Friday, after we'd been out on the Galaxy tandem, we were riding up a street near home, when someone started shouting from a balcony.  Eventually, we worked out he was calling to Butterfly that she'd 'got some help' this time.  Apparently, he's seen her before, riding her Helios solo.  I guess one black tandem is like another.  But the man was being very encouraging. :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on October 01, 2012, 12:08:37 pm
Isn't it actually obligatory to shout "he/she's fallen off" to a solo tandem rider?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on October 01, 2012, 12:53:39 pm
Isn't it actually obligatory to shout "he/she's fallen off" to a solo tandem rider?
Only if you're the kind of person who shouts 'she's not pedalling'  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on October 01, 2012, 12:54:48 pm
She obviously was when she set a record :-*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Butterfly on October 01, 2012, 12:56:17 pm
We had a chap call 'Can ye ride Tandem? on Friday. I value that as a rare example these days. He had a great big grin as well :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on October 01, 2012, 12:59:53 pm
Especially as we weren't entirely sure that we could
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 01, 2012, 01:11:40 pm
I had someone shout "Oy, Neil Armstrong!" at me on Friday night.   ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rogerzilla on October 01, 2012, 06:51:01 pm
I had someone shout "Oy, Neil Armstrong!" at me on Friday night.   ???
I didn't know NASA did spacesuits in goth black.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Adrian on October 01, 2012, 10:29:13 pm
Not an oik, and not shouted -

as I was cycling through a council estate (alone on the tandem), a chap who was walking the other way said: 'middle-class, middle-class, middle-class, middle-class'. When I looked at him over my shoulder after I'd passed, he looked directly at me and repeated it several times ???.

Surely the correct response is "Thank you, and a good day to you kind sir"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on October 01, 2012, 10:32:20 pm
Not an oik, and not shouted -

as I was cycling through a council estate (alone on the tandem), a chap who was walking the other way said: 'middle-class, middle-class, middle-class, middle-class'. When I looked at him over my shoulder after I'd passed, he looked directly at me and repeated it several times ???.

Surely the correct response is "Thank you, and a good day to you kind sir"

I thought 'pleb' was the word of choice at the moment
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on October 02, 2012, 07:37:40 am
I had someone shout "Oy, Neil Armstrong!" at me on Friday night.   ???

I thought you'd be over the moon.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tiermat on October 05, 2012, 04:33:52 pm
A highly original "Get in your fucking lane you wankers" from a farmified pickup last night on our run to the pub.

If we had been holding him up from whatever is urgent on a farm at this time of year, and the traffic coming the other way was stopping him over taking us, maybe he'd have got a bit of sympathy.  But there was no traffic coming the other way, all we were doing was riding two abreast so myself and Deano could chat whilst we rode along....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Deano on October 05, 2012, 04:37:08 pm
Cycle lanes aren't compulsory, either. Especially not ones as full of crap as that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 05, 2012, 04:38:23 pm
At least there was a cycle lane...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Deano on October 05, 2012, 04:39:36 pm
It vanishes when the road narrows, i.e. where you need a cycle lane.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 05, 2012, 04:53:04 pm
They all do that, sir.  I was merely referring to the habit of oiks shouting about cycle lanes where none exists.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Deano on October 05, 2012, 04:53:57 pm
Gotcha. I've had that one.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Karla on October 05, 2012, 04:57:12 pm
I've been shouted/honked at innumerable times over the past week or so in Holland, Germany and Slovenia.  However, as the shouts/honks were all in Dutch/German/Slovenian, I didn't understand them - and nor did they understand what I shouted back.  This is probably just as well.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spindrift on October 05, 2012, 07:30:36 pm
I had a lengthy shout at me when I was in Berlin riding around and I genuinely have no idea what I was supposed to have done wrong and he was speaking in Berlin talk which i didn't understand so I mentioned the war and pedalled away.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: benborp on October 06, 2012, 12:49:20 am
This happened in May. Looking back it wasn't a spontaneous shout, but he was oiky and he was very shouty. Today I found out that this guy was fined £625, ordered to do hundreds of hours of community work and to pay me £50. The account below has some of his choicer bon mots in spoilers.

The first time I was aware of him I had been waiting at the tail of a line of four cars at lights for about thirty seconds. He joined the queue by braking hard to a short distance behind my rear wheel. I thought he might just be a poor driver and ignored him. I got about fifty metres on him as I pulled away from the lights and rolled with the traffic for the next 400m, 25mph in a 20 zone through 4 sets of traffic calming features. As we rolled up to the last, a raised pedestrian crossing, he again braked hard to within a short distance of my back wheel. This is when I realised he meant what he was doing. As we rolled away he beeped his horn, accelerated hard and then braked hard, again a short distance off my rear wheel. I turned and said firmly and directly to him "Back off!" At this point traffic was backed up over a roundabout and moving slowly - there was no room to overtake or for me even to filter on the approach as the road was narrowed by parked cars and there was oncoming traffic. Coming on to the roundabout, more beeping and he attempted to undertake saying "I just want to know what you said." I said "I asked you to back off." He very swiftly responded by shouting
(click to show/hide)
and swung his car in to me. I stopped to let him get ahead but he stayed next to me. At this point he started to threaten to run me over, said I shouldn't be on the road, spouted off about road tax and then settled back on the threats intermingled with homophobic abuse such as
(click to show/hide)
. I got off the bike, got my phone out of my pocket and made my way behind his car to the pavement. He shouted "Call who you like I'm going to wait here." He pulled over and then got out of his car. While I was calling the police he was still abusive, stood toe to toe with me regardless of where I moved to and was jabbing his hand at my face with the occasional feint thrown in. Nothing was going to happen at this stage but he was intent on escalating the situation. I can't remember much of the phone call or what he said to me at the time as I was generally concentrating on him physically. I know I read out the registration number and got the location through to the operator and that I felt immediately threatened but couldn't make out much that they said. I told the driver that the police were on their way. "Good, and I'm going to wait here." I said "Perhaps you should wait by your car." "No. I'm going to wait right here." At which point he moved to being directly in my face again. I walked away and crossed a side road, he followed saying (amongst other things)
(click to show/hide)
He was becoming more offensive and more aggressive and by this point I was having to deflect some of his more aggressive gestures. He was also walking into me and I'm afraid I was close to bringing the heel of my hand up under his chin as I moved his hand out of my face at one point. Fortunately, this is the point where people started to intervene. A woman in an SUV suddenly shouted "Don't!" at him pointing her finger very effectively. An older couple walking nearby made a reasoned plea and it became obvious to him that the whole street had stopped and was watching. He made his way back to the car with a parting shot of "If I didn't have my car here, I'd kill you." and he drove off. I asked one of the people that had stopped if they wouldn't mind waiting for the police, he agreed and shortly afterwards a patrol car arrived and our version of events were taken separately.
Not long after I got home the police called to say that they had arrested a man and would like to take a full statement. Apparently he drove up to his house in the car exactly as the police arrived and matched my description so perfectly it was almost comical.

The police were excellent throughout. The court proceedings were random, mainly due to the competency of the prosecution and defence lawyers, the magistrates were very much on the ball though and it seems to me to be a more than reasonable result.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on October 06, 2012, 05:57:20 am
As I posted alsewhere, Ben, I think this is a good result and I hope some kind of psychiatric report has been done on the perpetrator.  Been a long job, though and a lot for you to go through.  Well done!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on October 06, 2012, 07:41:28 am
Wow Ben, you are awesome. Seriously impressed with how you dealt with all that, and pushing through for a prosecution.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: CrinklyLion on October 06, 2012, 08:16:12 am
Well done.  Dealing with the actual incident that calmly and effectively is bloody brilliant, as is following it up and getting him prosecuted.  It is superb that passers by intervened - and from what you say I suspect one reason that happened is because you choosing not to rise to the idiot's provocation and handling it so well will have made it really obvious to the casual observer that he had absolutely no reason, excuse or pretext for acting like such an utter arse.  I reckon you did A Good Thing for cyclists everywhere, and I am fairly sure I couldn't have done the same!  Thank you.  And I hope you had/have plenty of support from all around you dealing with the fallout of what must have been an incredibly stressful situation.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on October 06, 2012, 09:49:13 am
Well done.  Thank you.  Every time someone has the persistence to deal with incidents like these, it chips away at the edifice of easy hostility we face.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bobb on October 06, 2012, 10:08:03 am
Excellent stuff, Ben. I remember seeing your original account of the incident and I'm glad the fucker has been delt with  :thumbsup:

I'm sure he hates cyclists more than ever now, but knowing his wallet might be severely lightened again should keep him in check...

Edit: Oh, I'm sure he'll just love the community service  :P
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on October 06, 2012, 10:11:46 am
A bit more than just an oik shouting stuff really.
If you see him again, be sure to ask him if he likes your new jacket, wether you're wearing a new one or not. It'll remind him of the £50 he had to pay you. Might even earn you another few quid ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on October 06, 2012, 11:08:38 am
Well done indeed.  I just hope he isn't allowed to do the timeless 'pay off the fine at 50p a week' stunt.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Feline on October 06, 2012, 07:40:36 pm
Brilliant news Ben  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: benborp on October 12, 2012, 12:40:50 am
Oops, seem to be hogging the thread. Got shouted at today as I boarded my bus home. I took an interest probably because I am a cyclist. He had been sat beside the bike in the rack for a couple of minutes when I asked him if everything was alright. Apparently he has an uncontrollable urge to defeat combination locks. He's not a bike thief. This is something he confirms by shouting "Oh my God! A bike thief. Somebody call the police! You idiot!"

I just asked if he was OK. Unfortunately this seemed to cause him to lose concentration on his uncontrollable urge and made me an idiot. What can I do?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: CrinklyLion on October 12, 2012, 06:53:15 am
Be glad that you aren't him?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on October 22, 2012, 05:32:20 pm
Two today, I had a 'I still can't see you'- presumably a response to my Ayups & Magicshine combo..well it was foggy innit.

And an 'oi paedo'.  Oh The delights of finishing work early, when the cheeky little bleeders are still on their way home.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 22, 2012, 05:35:50 pm
Oh we had a lovely welcome back to Birmingham from an oik on a canal bridge towards the end of the tunnel ride (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=63900.50) on Saturday.  I couldn't make out what was said, other than plenty of f-words, but the tone was delightfully abusive, and I was generally glad that there wasn't access to the canal from that particular bridge.

Mind you, we also saw a front blinky flashing away in the middle of the canal (it was too dark to see if there was a bike attached).  We decided it was probably best not to hang around and investigate.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: SlowCoach on October 23, 2012, 01:22:23 pm
From the driver who pulled out in front of me this morning from a side road (not a problem because I was half expecting him to do it, anyway and had anticipated the emergency stop):

"Sorry mate I couldn't see you 'cos your lights are too f...ing bright!"

I give up...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on October 23, 2012, 02:18:08 pm
:facepalm:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: greenmeansgo on October 23, 2012, 02:52:02 pm
"Sorry mate I couldn't see you 'cos your lights are too f...ing bright you're too visible!"
Sounds like SMIDGAF to me!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: InTokyo on October 24, 2012, 09:54:16 am
didn't read the whole thread but, essentially I think we can say 'some things never change then'

this never happens here. call it manners, torpidity, or whatever. sometimes the odd traffic cop blowing his whistle and megaphoning something about bikes not being allowed to turn right at that junction. but otherwise, a blissful silence.

otherwise of course, the place is terrible.

I haven't been 'home' for a few years, and I wondered if the general pubic UK attitude to cycling had changed at all, with the Boris Bikes, and the super performance in recent athletic events. but sadly it still seems hampered by a multitude of tw@ts, judging by these recent events?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 24, 2012, 03:00:22 pm
I haven't been 'home' for a few years, and I wondered if the general pubic UK attitude to cycling had changed at all, with the Boris Bikes, and the super performance in recent athletic events. but sadly it still seems hampered by a multitude of tw@ts, judging by these recent events?

It has, in that the zombies are shouting "Come on Wiggo!" or "Don't you know the Olympics are over?" rather than the usual "Cyclewankers!"

More seriously, I'd say that the vast majority of the stuff I have shouted at me is positive or humorous.  But I often ride a recumbent, which is unusual and interesting.  On a DF bike I'm much less visible, and any shouting is more likely to be abusive.

And I reckon there are (still) more people on bikes.  At least in Birmingham, where things are a lot more car-centric than London.  How much of this is the Olympics and how much is the change in the University's parking policy I can't say...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: InTokyo on October 24, 2012, 10:59:54 pm
I haven't been 'home' for a few years, and I wondered if the general pubic UK attitude to cycling had changed at all, with the Boris Bikes, and the super performance in recent athletic events. but sadly it still seems hampered by a multitude of tw@ts, judging by these recent events?

It has, in that the zombies are shouting "Come on Wiggo!" or "Don't you know the Olympics are over?" rather than the usual "Cyclewankers!"

More seriously, I'd say that the vast majority of the stuff I have shouted at me is positive or humorous.  But I often ride a recumbent, which is unusual and interesting.  On a DF bike I'm much less visible, and any shouting is more likely to be abusive.

And I reckon there are (still) more people on bikes.  At least in Birmingham, where things are a lot more car-centric than London.  How much of this is the Olympics and how much is the change in the University's parking policy I can't say...

the recumbent holds the key to the locked door of laughter

this is shorthand for 'I'd love one'
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Trailrat on October 28, 2012, 03:01:26 pm
I haven't read the whole thread but the several pages I have reaad have made me feel like contributing.

For instance the time I was passing a bus stop and some oik sat at the said bus stop enquired to my wealth and the ability to acquire a motor vehicle with said lack of wealth!

Also being trans gets some hilarious responses like "you know that's a girl's bike, mate" and "get a hair cut"

Though telling one bloke he couldn't afford me when he asked me to perform lewd acts on a small part of his anatomy might have been a stupid idea when stationary at a set of lights!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: the vicar on October 31, 2012, 09:39:42 pm
 I did have a helpful mini van driver tell me 'You're supposed to ride BETWEEN the yellow lines!' (Oh so that's what they're there for) I think he was being serious...............

On having a response ready, I've only managed it once. I'd carried a line from a sit com in a corner my brain for well over a  decade when the chance came to use it. I was visiting my girlfriend and had just parked the motorbike outside her block of Georgian apartments when a door opened and a voice said 'You can't leave that here!'
Not believing my luck I instantly replied 'I'm not leaving it here, I'm taking it with me when I go'
Nonplussed silence followed by 'Oh....that's all right then' and the door quietly closes. Ah bliss!
 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Auntie Helen on November 01, 2012, 08:33:49 am
Recumberating through Greenstead a man waved madly at me and then shouted "Around the world in 80 days!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wild Rover on November 01, 2012, 10:49:06 am
Not an 'oik', but riding along the Moretonhampstead - Bovey Tracey road a few days ago, I had an unexpected turn of speed and overtook another cyclist going up a short, sharp rise. I greeted him with a cheery 'Morning!', to which he replied ' You wait until you are in your forties, you won't be so quick up the hills then'.

Which put me in a quandary - do I keep up the momentum or do I slow down and inform him that I'm actually almost 58?

I carried on. Albeit with a rather smug grin.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jacomus on November 01, 2012, 01:45:25 pm
Not an 'oik', but riding along the Moretonhampstead - Bovey Tracey road a few days ago, I had an unexpected turn of speed and overtook another cyclist going up a short, sharp rise. I greeted him with a cheery 'Morning!', to which he replied ' You wait until you are in your forties, you won't be so quick up the hills then'.

Which put me in a quandary - do I keep up the momentum or do I slow down and inform him that I'm actually almost 58?

I carried on. Albeit with a rather smug grin.

 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Adam on November 01, 2012, 09:47:33 pm
In the last 2 months, I've now heard something I've never previously heard shouted in umpteen years of cycling.  It's been directed to me once and I've heard it shouted twice at other cyclists, when I've been walking nearby.

The person has shouted out "where's your helmet".  I don't know if this is due to Joe Public seeing more professional cyclists on TV/Olympics and equating helmet use as being the norm.   :-\

Anyone else been abused in this way?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 01, 2012, 10:28:19 pm
A few times.

Most notably, this incident:

...there was that time I found myself behind a taxi in stop-start traffic, when a child of maybe 6 or 7 years old appeared in the rear window and decided to lecture me on the importance of wearing a helmet, and that I should ride on the pavement for my own safety, in fluent BSL.  Sadly I had too much steering and braking to do to have much of a debate.   :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on November 01, 2012, 11:00:16 pm
I had it a few years ago. Small child leant out of front passenger window hollering that I should be wearing a helmet. I caught them at the next lights and asked the driver (a) to keep his passenger under control and (b) where his seatbelt was.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on November 01, 2012, 11:01:54 pm
Why not just whack 'em on the head with your trusty Zefal and then ask where theirs is?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Perky on November 02, 2012, 11:25:01 pm
Received my first white van man outburst today.  Cycling along Cardiff Road, Watford, towards the junction with Occupation Road.  In primary.  Typical congested victorian terrace; cars parked both sides of the road, too tight for a car to pass me safely.  Van up my arse for about 50m.  I'm doing about 15 mph.  As I turn into Occupation Road van continues straight on towards the industrial estate and driver shouts out...

wait for it...

it's a classic... 

"You were in the middle of the road mate". 

Now I know it's sometimes hard to think of something when the boots on the other foot and something happens in a flash, such as a ped stepping into the road, and I normally find myself resorting to "Don't mind me then" when caught by surprise, but the van driver had at least 10 seconds to think of something witty to say.   Strangely I feel somewhat disappointed.   ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on November 04, 2012, 12:44:58 pm
Received my first white van man outburst today.  Cycling along Cardiff Road, Watford, towards the junction with Occupation Road.  In primary.  Typical congested victorian terrace; cars parked both sides of the road, too tight for a car to pass me safely.  Van up my arse for about 50m.  I'm doing about 15 mph.  As I turn into Occupation Road van continues straight on towards the industrial estate and driver shouts out...

wait for it...

it's a classic... 

"You were in the middle of the road mate". 

Now I know it's sometimes hard to think of something when the boots on the other foot and something happens in a flash, such as a ped stepping into the road, and I normally find myself resorting to "Don't mind me then" when caught by surprise, but the van driver had at least 10 seconds to think of something witty to say.   Strangely I feel somewhat disappointed.   ???

I got the other WVM classic the other weekend.

"Wot, you fink you own the road." (This because he had to wait for seconds behind me in the approach to a solid line of traffic at the lights, no one was going anywhere. Of course, despite the fact that I was stopped in primary, he had to wedge his van level with me so he could shout through the passenger window, in the process blocking traffic on the other side of the road at the same time.)

I don't usually bother interfacing with drivers, especially van drivers evidently on their way to a Palace match, but everything was snarled up Croydon-way and neither of us were going anywhere, so I told him that "yes, considering our likely divergent incomes, and the consequent amount of additional tax I pay as as result, I think I could make good claim to owning more of this road than you."

This seemed to stop him. After due consideration and meshing of cognitive gears, he finally responded.

"Are you fucking gay?"

Anyway, it seemed he wasn't propositioning me, and he took great offense for some reason that I'd arrived at that conclusion. I scooted off quickly down a side street, he was turning a tomatoey colour.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on November 04, 2012, 01:23:15 pm
You could have saved some breath and called him a pleb.  :P
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on November 04, 2012, 05:30:29 pm
"Are you fucking gay?"



As an "Older Person", people aren't usually interested in my sexuality, but I did get the "Why are you dressed like a gay?" a few weeks back.
The only response I could come up with was "Because I am gay", which turned out to be quite a good one, as it left the idiot totally perplexed and unable to think of anything else to add.  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Martin 14 on November 04, 2012, 06:29:53 pm
Not an 'oik', but riding along the Moretonhampstead - Bovey Tracey road a few days ago, I had an unexpected turn of speed and overtook another cyclist going up a short, sharp rise. I greeted him with a cheery 'Morning!', to which he replied ' You wait until you are in your forties, you won't be so quick up the hills then'.

Which put me in a quandary - do I keep up the momentum or do I slow down and inform him that I'm actually almost 58?

I carried on. Albeit with a rather smug grin.




lol............love it :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 17, 2012, 07:12:35 pm
Oik: "[inaudible]"
Me: "What was that?"
Oik: "But what do you do when you get to traffic lights?"
Me: "I stop!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jurek on November 19, 2012, 08:47:13 am
Yesterday, en route to Brick Lane with PaulR, as we gyrated round The Minories a lad of around 5 years vintage stuck his head out of a passing van and hollered "Oi mister, I like your banana!"

Those of you familiar with my banana will know what he meant.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on November 19, 2012, 09:12:11 am
I know that banana has impressed a number of lady forumites.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: TimC on November 19, 2012, 09:34:15 am
Oik: "[inaudible]"
Me: "What was that?"
Oik: "But what do you do when you get to traffic lights?"
Me: "I stop!"

Doesn't that depend what colour they're showing?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Notsototalnewbie on November 19, 2012, 02:28:54 pm
Yesterday, en route to Brick Lane with PaulR, as we gyrated round The Minories a lad of around 5 years vintage stuck his head out of a passing van and hollered "Oi mister, I like your banana!"

Those of you familiar with my banana will know what he meant.

That banana has fascinated many a forumite...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on November 21, 2012, 06:03:51 pm
One yesterday, one today. Hooted at by a Beemer as I rode into the airport approaching a pinch point, and thus in primary. I take primary there because two lanes merge and if I don't I get kerb-squeezed. The thing is, he did it well before the pinch point and in the end had plenty of room to overtake safely (which he did) and pull in again. Knee-jerk, I suppose.

Today, in the bus link in Crawley as I walk the bike from the ped area across the road to my bank. Muttering behind was getting louder, and then I very distinctly heard the following monologue:

"I could eat that arse...and he's gotlovely thighs...and those calves...."

I turned round to find an only slightly rough-looking woman in her forties following me. She grinned when I looked round.

"Well, you have! Ignore me, I'm pissed"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Perky on November 22, 2012, 04:08:58 pm
Well I was already with my pithy tale of bike path and dogs off the lead and owner with their nose buried in their smartphone and me on the airzound and the ensuing comments, but I just don't feel it's worthy of following on from Steph's post. 

I think something along the following lines might be more appropriate:

"You're in there mate!"  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Phil W on November 23, 2012, 05:34:12 pm
Oi where's your trousers? (Lycra shorts not counting).

Response "your mother is ironing them"

Speechless oik stares at me...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on November 26, 2012, 09:34:34 pm
A  new one (to me) tonight.

From passenger window:
"Oi mate.  Something on the back of your bike is flashing."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on November 26, 2012, 10:16:12 pm
I had a group of kids shouting at me to 'go faster' and 'put some effort in' climbing up the hill to my house (slowly) on the way home tonight.

Then I swung round (to get to my front door) and the kids thought I was reacting to them and ran off :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Redlight on November 27, 2012, 01:56:12 pm

"Are you fucking gay?"

Anyway, it seemed he wasn't propositioning me, and he took great offense for some reason that I'd arrived at that conclusion. I scooted off quickly down a side street, he was turning a tomatoey colour.

Having had the "I hate fucking cyclists" comment addressed to me several times, I deeply regret that I have never had the presence of mind to suggest that the individual sticks to mating with its own species.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Perky on November 29, 2012, 12:12:18 am
Struggling up Occupation Road, Watford, in the granny gear, with 12kg of the Tesco necessaries, council type in full hi-viz, leaning on a wall reading the paper, suggests "ride faster". 

After a slight pause, during which I considered my walking pace versus his general blubbery physique and potential to violent recourse, I responded "work harder".  Judging by the look on his face he resented the implication, but fortunately wasn't able to mobilise his lardy arse to do anything about it :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Phil W on November 29, 2012, 10:42:31 pm
A  new one (to me) tonight.

From passenger window:
"Oi mate.  Something on the back of your bike is flashing."

And then you looked round and realised you'd forgotten to turn the rear LED on.....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on December 03, 2012, 11:20:32 pm
Shouting actually has some benefit, even if it is just a wurra-woorough-aoogah aparently.

Grimping up Tomswood Hill after spinnin'an'swimmin, because of a total lack of vocalisation on the part of the oik I had to stop to work out that I had had beer or some such thrown at me by an overtaking oik, not been splashed by a puddle.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 03, 2012, 11:25:37 pm
I had one call me a paki last week.  That's a new one  ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on December 04, 2012, 07:28:22 am
I get called a paki regularly. Whilst they clearly think it's derogatory, I'm quite flattered.  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 04, 2012, 01:16:31 pm
Is paki the new gay, then?  *boggle*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wendy on December 04, 2012, 01:17:14 pm
On YT innit. They can't see my face, only hear my voices.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 04, 2012, 01:19:18 pm
Ah, that makes a bit more sense.  Sort of.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 12, 2012, 12:55:50 am
On YT innit. They can't see my face, only hear my voices.
Which ones?  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Toady on December 14, 2012, 04:07:34 pm
Red light! Red light! Red light! Red light!

The light was green when I went through, but there was all kinds of complicated stuff going on in the yellow box in the junction, which necessitated going very slowly so by the time I reached the other side it was moral outrage time for the guy at the pedestrian crossing.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 21, 2012, 08:20:18 pm
"Wow!  Sick bike!"

Not unusual, except I was on the Discovery at the time (towing a trailer).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on December 21, 2012, 08:43:51 pm
O, that reminds me!
We overheard a "check out that bad boy bike" about the tandem from Stockport Yoof last weekend.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 21, 2012, 09:31:47 pm
Barakta's a veteran of Stockport Yoof.  That's high praise indeed.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: barakta on December 21, 2012, 10:00:42 pm
O, that reminds me!
We overheard a "check out that bad boy bike" about the tandem from Stockport Yoof last weekend.

That's praise that is.  The usual is "What's what? I don't know, lets kill it with sticks!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: davelodwig on January 08, 2013, 09:21:08 am
Riding to a meeting last night I turn my head to notice a passenger in the Audi alongside me having a proper rant, wagging his finger and everything. Hadn't heard him due to the headphones I was using to make the headwind less of an arse.

I pulled the right earphone out and said, "sorry I missed that".

To which he replied, "Why don't you get a f**king car".

My response, "Thanks but I've already got one, I don't need two cars". Pushed earphone back in and carried on leaving the idiot looking a bit confused.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on January 08, 2013, 09:37:07 am
Last time I was asked that question, I replied 'because I don't want to be that late for work' as I overtook.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on January 08, 2013, 11:00:36 am
Riding to a meeting last night I turn my head to notice a passenger in the Audi alongside me having a proper rant, wagging his finger and everything. Hadn't heard him due to the headphones I was using to make the headwind less of an arse.

I pulled the right earphone out and said, "sorry I missed that".

To which he replied, "Why don't you get a f**king car".

My response, "Thanks but I've already got one, I don't need two cars". Pushed earphone back in and carried on leaving the idiot looking a bit confused.

You could also say, "Why don't you?" as he was a passenger.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 08, 2013, 07:05:43 pm
I had a bizarre one at the weekend. Passenger in a Saxo, "You're French!"  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jaded on January 09, 2013, 09:49:47 am
I'm still waiting to be called gay by one of two men in a car. The response is  "Me gay? You're the one out with your boyfriend!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: pumpkin on January 09, 2013, 10:06:42 am
Waiting in Salford the other week for my gf to arrive on her bike for the commute home (She had got stopped by a cyclist to ask where she (gf) got her Assos hat. I'm on a fixie, I'm in cycling kit with a pink hi-vis vest and passing yoof (tracksuit, drippy nose) wanders past, looks at me/bike/me and asks what I'm doing. A discussion then takes place about none of his business and am I the Police because I'm not very good!! I pointed out that he was having a discussion whilst standing there scrathing his nuts thro' his tracksuit. He wandered off to his world.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on January 09, 2013, 12:46:45 pm
I'm still waiting to be called gay by one of two men in a car. The response is  "Me gay? You're the one out with your boyfriend!"

I got called gay by an unimaginative kid on a skateboard on critical mass last Friday (as shown from 1:30 in this video (http://www.birminghamcyclist.com/video/birmingham-critical-mass-january-2013), in fact - I'm behind the guy with the camera).  I turned to the person on my right and said wearily "I suppose I should take that as a compliment".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on January 09, 2013, 12:50:58 pm
I'm still waiting to be called gay by one of two men in a car. The response is  "Me gay? You're the one out with your boyfriend!"

I got called gay by an unimaginative kid on a skateboard on critical mass last Friday (as shown from 1:30 in this video (http://www.birminghamcyclist.com/video/birmingham-critical-mass-january-2013), in fact - I'm behind the guy with the camera).  I turned to the person on my right and said wearily "I suppose I should take that as a compliment".

Can't see the video but, I am guessing the unimaginative skatebording kid was an unimaginative skateboarding lad.

if that is the case you missed an opportunity-

USL- "GAY!"

Kim- Looks USL up and down, rolls her eyes and utters "Can you blame me?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on January 09, 2013, 01:05:17 pm
USL- "GAY!"

Kim- Looks USL up and down, rolls her eyes and utters "Can you blame me?"

*files away for future reference*   :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Rhys W on January 13, 2013, 03:54:20 pm
Out on the clubrun today and two little boys about 8-9 years old walking on the pavement shouted "Single file!" How depressing. They're ten years away from driving a car and they already think that cyclists shouldn't be allowed out on the road.

I was so angry at this I turned round and shouted sternly "No! Read the Highway Code!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Clare on January 13, 2013, 04:01:42 pm
On the commute on Friday and not really an oik, more a elderly gentleman of alternative thinking:

"He's still right behind you, HA HA HA!"

 ???

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Canardly on January 13, 2013, 08:46:55 pm
Youngish Female rider of one of pair of horses passing YACF group, two of whom were on recumbants. Quote 'How cool is that!'
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dibdib on January 14, 2013, 05:53:48 pm
I may have been that oik today.

Although said "cyclist" had no lights on and was swerving between me and two parked cars as I was in the middle of parallel parking, so I think the dimwit deserved it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Marco Stefano on January 14, 2013, 06:22:29 pm
About to leave friends' house on a ride yesterday, two youths on a bmx & BSO rode past (latter carrying a huge amount of fishing equipment):
'Blah blah blah boike blah blah'
No idea what he said. I don't feel that I lost out, somehow.

Not oiks, but later out in the fens, we passed a couple of women on horses, one on the verge, another on a HUGE plough horse (Suffolk Punch or similar), exchanged 'good morning's, then as we slowly passed:
'I bet our bums are warmer than yours!'

 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on January 29, 2013, 09:30:17 pm
Two in one 10km ride today. The first was a Peugeot 106 passenger making monkey chants as i climbed Inkerman Terrace, and the second was a 'WHERGGGGGHIRGGGH'* from a beaten up old Ford Orion which had messed up pulling out of the petrol station as I was going faster than they thought.


*Well that's what it sounded like
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: pdm on February 05, 2013, 07:59:39 pm
On my way to work this morning. Snow on icy roads all the way with gridlock and cars stuck everywhere. No problems on my marathon Winters...
Going up a hill past many motionless cars with spinning wheeks, a bloke winds down his window and yells.
"Oi mate, how about a tow!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on February 05, 2013, 09:11:41 pm
I'd stopped at a junction to let a car pass along the road in front. Followed her to the next junction where she admonished me:

"You weren't going to stop!"

She must have mental telepathy, I suppose. Faulty mental telepathy at that. I really had no plans to cycle into the side of her car so I didn't just intend stopping, I actually did stop. In the steady and calm fashion of someone who had planned to stop. OK, I was coming down a hill, but I didn't exactly skid to a halt.

I don't know what goes on in their minds sometimes. I think they see a bike and OMG WHAT DO I DO IT'S COMING TOWARDS ME!!!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on February 05, 2013, 09:19:49 pm
Ah yes, reminds me of a story I posted in the previous place.
I was riding towards a crossing that was being crossed by a ped.
Her:  (shouty) "You're supposed to stop"
Me:  (Still on freewheel approach) "Yes, but I thought I'd get there and then stop"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on February 05, 2013, 09:54:27 pm
It's the assumption that bicycles have two speeds: slightly above walking pace and dangerously out of control.

Hands-on experience of BSO brakes can't help with this perception.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: padbeat on February 06, 2013, 12:11:03 am
I had my elbow shaved yesterday by a car in a hurry to catch up to the car in front. I made my usual (non-obscene) pointing finger gesture as he passed indicating that I'd like a little more room please. The car behind (middle aged bloke in a red Celica with body kit) took it upon himself to pass me and then stop in the middle of the road to tell me that the car in front hadn't passed me too close, and even if he had I should be on the cycle path.

I didn't react well. I did point out that if the fat fuck got out of his car and did some exercise occasionally he might have a better appreciation of life outside a car. I also pointed out that I was married and was patronised enough at home and didn't need his help. This would have been a lot more effective if I hadn't been swearing like a sailor in my most aggressive Belfast accent.

He decided to put me in my place by calling me a fucking nutter and driving off, allowing the now substantial tailback behind him to move off. The thing is that his is a fairly distinctive car and there is only one place he can have been going at that time of day, which is the same place I was going.

Postscript.
As I cycled into work, there was a different guy stood at the side of the road waving me down. It turns out that he was the driver of the first car, and he wanted to genuinely apologise for cutting me close, it was a genuine mistake and he was quite upset that he'd done it, being a keen cyclist himself. We shook hands and went on our ways, which rather took the wind out of the rant I was composing for the entertainment of the rest of my office!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on February 06, 2013, 12:22:45 am
Glad you're safe, padbeat; I admire your nerve!  Has your wife seen your post?!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: padbeat on February 06, 2013, 12:56:01 am
Erm, no! She got a very edited version of what happened.

What I caouldn't believe is that he stopped in the middle of the carriageway to berate me. How did he think I was going to react? I certainly wasn't going to overtake him - I didn't want him behind me!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on February 07, 2013, 01:07:48 am
It is amazing what people will do, isn't it?  I once had a Stobart's driver stop his lorry on a roundabout, completely blocking it to all traffic, so he could berate me about MY driving (faulty indicator, or something).  And he called ME an idiot (which I am but I'm fussy who says so)!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on February 13, 2013, 07:09:05 am
Hmmmm

It was the boss driving. With the MD hanging out of the passenger window.

Something about danger. I looked behind, but couldn't see a giant boulder chasing me.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Guy on February 13, 2013, 08:34:20 am
The last time anyone shouted at me I was riding through Shillington when a couple of kids shouted "Yer back wheel's goin' round", so I stopped and looked at it then shouted "No it isn't". :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: davelodwig on February 13, 2013, 10:21:03 am
I was called a prick,

Driver failed to indicate he was turning so I went, he was turning and that was my fault he had to slow down. While I was being shouted at he was pushing me towards the kerb, I had to get off and sit down for a couple minutes before I could carry on.

I have never so much wanted for a handgun to fire a couple rounds through the open window to make a point in my life.  I am sick of being treated like a second class person.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on February 13, 2013, 01:27:08 pm
I was called a prick,

Driver failed to indicate he was turning so I went, he was turning and that was my fault he had to slow down. While I was being shouted at he was pushing me towards the kerb, I had to get off and sit down for a couple minutes before I could carry on.

I have never so much wanted for a handgun to fire a couple rounds through the open window to make a point in my life.  I am sick of being treated like a second class person.

That sounds entirely shit dave. Hope the commute home is a calmer affair.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Canardly on February 18, 2013, 09:25:21 pm
Riding in pairs last sunday car coming opposite way deliberately swings into our lane ........strewth why the hell do we think he should have a licence?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on February 18, 2013, 09:58:52 pm
I got an ironic wolf-whistle from a loitering oik today.  Haven't had one of those for ages.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on February 19, 2013, 07:25:23 am
I got an ironic wolf-whistle from a loitering oik today.  Haven't had one of those for ages.

Might not have been ironic.   ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Efrogwr on February 19, 2013, 09:34:31 pm
I got a wolf-whistle from a schoolgirl in Bethesda.

Bearing in mind a revelation from Steph, maybe she thought I was her dad...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Martin 14 on February 19, 2013, 11:27:16 pm
I got an ironic wolf-whistle from a loitering oik today.  Haven't had one of those for ages.

Might not have been ironic.   ;)

Indeed :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on February 20, 2013, 09:44:30 am
On last night's commute: Four-eyes!   ???

Coworker and I spent the rest of the ride trying to work out when they started handing out driving licences to eight year olds.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Notsototalnewbie on February 20, 2013, 09:47:06 am
On last night's commute: Four-eyes!   ???

Coworker and I spent the rest of the ride trying to work out when they started handing out driving licences to eight year olds.

Ah, nostalgia. I haven't heard that one since I was a bespectacled schoolchild.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jurek on February 20, 2013, 09:48:42 am
On last night's commute: Four-eyes!   ???

Coworker and I spent the rest of the ride trying to work out when they started handing out driving licences to eight year olds.

Ah, nostalgia. I haven't heard that one since I was a bespectacled schoolchild.

Nostalgia's not what it used to be.

IGMC
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on February 20, 2013, 01:36:04 pm
I got an ironic wolf-whistle from a loitering oik today.  Haven't had one of those for ages.

Might not have been ironic.   ;)

Indeed :)

People with my bodyshape (ie. oversized hobbit, thankfully without the hairy feet) don't get non-ironic wolf-whistles.

And besides, you can easily tell the difference: genuine wolf-whistles come from WVM, workers on building sites and the like.  Ironic ones come from groups of teenagers, trying to look cool to their mates.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Uberuce on February 22, 2013, 10:17:53 am
I got 'Santa' the other day. I do indeed have a full beard, but it's ginger, in accordance to the Scottish Man Beard Act of 1874.

I guess by the time the oik had finished processing 'There's a man with a beard. I better shout something out' (which is in itself a marvelously stupid thought) he thought I was going to get away before he could rack his brains for persons of pigmented facial foliage so settled on someone recently in his child-man mind.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on February 22, 2013, 01:12:21 pm
UR The Bruce AICMFP
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Uberuce on February 23, 2013, 10:10:46 am
Wiki has filled me in regarding the meaning of AICMFP, but still...huh?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on February 23, 2013, 12:59:20 pm
I've read somewhere that Robert The Bruce had ginger hair & beard hence my ananlogy: a your forum name could sound like " you Bruce".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Littlesox on February 24, 2013, 12:40:18 pm
I was out on the old Peugeot a few weeks ago. It's a lovely 90's greenie sort of colour, and from a distance (about a mile), looks not unlike a Bianchi.

As I puffed and wheezed my way up climb, a group of very serious looking cyclists came hurtling down the road towards me, resplendant in matching club jerseys and astride Treks and Cannondales.

As they flashed past me, I heard one of them utter "Looks like a nice Bianchi" - or at least, I think that's what he said. I could be mistaken, he might have said "Looks like a right Wanker"

Onwards my friends !
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on March 03, 2013, 09:29:15 am
The last time anyone shouted at me I was riding through Shillington when a couple of kids shouted "Yer back wheel's goin' round", so I stopped and looked at it then shouted "No it isn't". :D

Almost identical with me on the way home last night. She looked very confused at the response ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Johnny Thin on March 03, 2013, 07:23:33 pm
Just riding home from my daughter's in Berlin, in a filthy mood as my visiting time had been unceremoniously interrupted by her mother turning up ahead of schedule and immediately going into Nag mode as regard's Helena's preparations for school tomorrow, regardless of whatever might have happened to have been current between Helena and myself at her point of entry; - so scootling home in stealth mode as haven't got lights re-organised yet, going through red lights, when a carload of German yoofs pulls alongside on a long broadway-type road and starts foisting the usual obscenities and taking the piss; under normal circumstances wouldn't have been a problem, but with the mood I was in, the type of road and where I knew the next set of lights was, I thought I'd try to get my own back.  And yes, there was a mild diversion just further along which held them up a bit, too. 

So came up behind at the next set of reds, they conveniently were indicating left to help me decide on my course of action (ie with drive on the right I was on their right), so pulled up alongside, step off and mild whack with gloved fist on the roof, then make off to the right along the cycle path which is on the other side of the main carriageway from the parked cars.

Didn't know what reation to expect but, by God, all Hell let loose - conscious of someone sprinting towards me shouting obscenities such as to curdle milk, so stepped up the pace a bit to easily outrun them - then, finally, a bottle smashes somewhere behind me and I have a vague impression of shards rattling towards me from behind.  "That'll teach the little fuckers!" I observed to a couple passing on the pavement, in case any explanation were needed as to why a middle-aged bloke were fleeing a band of incensed joofs.  Then a sudden braking, sneak off into a side-street, carefully wend my way home, job done!

Well, well, surpring how can people who purposefully drive around getting kicks out of annoying others can have SUCH a low tolerance level themselves when they're on the receiving end, the world never ceases to amaze me!  ;D

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gandalf on March 03, 2013, 08:34:37 pm
Not quite as good as the elderly gent with a hefty padlock & chain story, but a close second .
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on March 04, 2013, 12:16:47 am
I got 'Santa' the other day. I do indeed have a full beard, but it's ginger, in accordance to the Scottish Man Beard Act of 1874.

I guess by the time the oik had finished processing 'There's a man with a beard. I better shout something out' (which is in itself a marvelously stupid thought) he thought I was going to get away before he could rack his brains for persons of pigmented facial foliage so settled on someone recently in his child-man mind.

It's quite rare for me not to get a shout of "Santa!" when I'm out riding.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 05, 2013, 06:03:57 pm
Excellent bingo score today.  I got "Sick bike"; "Hahahahah!" (in the faux uncontrollable hysterics favoured by teenage boys); "Someone's nicked yer 'andlebars!"; "That's the bollocks that is!" and "YeWanka!" - all in a single 2 hour ride.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hulver on March 06, 2013, 09:17:33 am
I got a "Excuse me mate, what's the time?" from a young oik who was digging a hole in a field using a golf club.

I enjoyed my witty reply of "It's twenty to two", and that shut him up good and proper.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: shyumu on March 06, 2013, 03:12:34 pm
Someone yelled "fuf" today, as they drove past very fast in the opposite direction.

Maybe the brakes had failed and they were trying to call for help.  I hope they are okay.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on March 08, 2013, 06:34:33 pm
Excellent bingo score today.  I got "Sick bike"; "Hahahahah!" (in the faux uncontrollable hysterics favoured by teenage boys); "Someone's nicked yer 'andlebars!"; "That's the bollocks that is!" and "YeWanka!" - all in a single 2 hour ride.
We aim for at least one "sick bike" & consider ourselves disappointed if we don't manage at least one "tandem!" (presumably in case we haven't noticed) as well as the old favourite "she's not pedalling at the back"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on March 08, 2013, 08:56:50 pm
It's a long time since I last rode a tandem in moderately populated areas. When I did the standard cry was

[PG Tips chimp stylee]
Can you ride tandem ?
[/PG Tips chimp stylee]

Which got pretty tedious straight away.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nikki on March 31, 2013, 01:55:37 pm
After a bit of post-processing, it may have been "shalom" and they may not have been oiks :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on March 31, 2013, 11:02:53 pm
This weekend I had 2 firsts:
- "you should ride single file" from a policeman
- abuse from some folks in a crapmobile towing another crapmobile (we delayed them for AT MOST 30 seconds - and then turned the other way to them at a T-junction)


I'm not sure who was the oik, or which was the lower moment. but I can't say either encounter will affect how I ride in future :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mmmmartin on April 01, 2013, 05:36:55 pm
In other news, and actually in this same universe, I was on a 200k perm on Saturday and locked the bike outside a shop. While in the queue to pay for the pint of milk I'd just drunk, a little old lady walked into the shop and and said to me (as the obvious cyclist with helmet and high-viz): "Is that your bike outside? You know you left the lights flashing well if the battery goes flat you might not be able to start it. I don't know much about bikes."

Bless.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: sg37409 on April 01, 2013, 05:53:32 pm
Riding into Glasgow along the canal on Saturday afternoon with my son, some guy taking a lot of cider cans for a walk

"ahhh, your doin' great. Bran' new"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on April 01, 2013, 07:37:50 pm
In other news, and actually in this same universe, I was on a 200k perm on Saturday and locked the bike outside a shop. While in the queue to pay for the pint of milk I'd just drunk, a little old lady walked into the shop and and said to me (as the obvious cyclist with helmet and high-viz): "Is that your bike outside? You know you left the lights flashing well if the battery goes flat you might not be able to start it. I don't know much about bikes."

Bless.
;D
Riding into Glasgow along the canal on Saturday afternoon with my son, some guy taking a lot of cider cans for a walk

"ahhh, your doin' great. Bran' new"

;D Barry!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gadget on April 02, 2013, 09:28:59 pm
While cycling home, in London rush hour, I decided to move up the traffic on the inside. The traffic was at a standstill, and I was moving with caution. Checking all cars, it seemed safe until a driver decided to change their mind and enter the BP garage. I did we'll to avoid, and words were exchanged, but what made this interesting was the driver's claim that, "I don't have to indicate."
Have the rules changed since I did my driving test?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: toestrap on April 03, 2013, 02:03:59 pm
'I can't hear you!' from the driver of a car waiting at a T junction as I went past.

Gnomic.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on April 08, 2013, 12:08:20 pm
Not an oik as such, but a chap of mature years.  And not 'at' cyclists, so much as 'to' them.

This morning, at Stockwell, a chap crossed the road, stopping to shout something I didn't quite catch all of, but it certainly included the (slightly hyperbolic) suggestion that Cameron was worse than Hitler*, and calling the Cabinet 'callous murderous fucking liars' or some such, which, while not entirely accurate, wasn't so far off th emark.


* Oops, have I Godwinised the thread?  Blame the ranter...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Efrogwr on April 08, 2013, 03:52:08 pm
Not an oik as such, but a chap of mature years.  And not 'at' cyclists, so much as 'to' them.

This morning, at Stockwell, a chap crossed the road, stopping to shout something I didn't quite catch all of, but it certainly included the (slightly hyperbolic) suggestion that Cameron was worse than Hitler*, and calling the Cabinet 'callous murderous fucking liars' or some such, which, while not entirely accurate, wasn't so far off th emark.


* Oops, have I Godwinised the thread?  Blame the ranter...

The last time I saw anything like that, I realised that I was facing a mirror... but I've been in Wales all day.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on April 08, 2013, 03:53:09 pm
;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 08, 2013, 05:54:43 pm
I suppose it's topical to say that anyone over the age of 26 who finds himself shouting abuse at people from the back seat of a small hatchback can count himself a failure?

Anyway, this one was a surprisingly audible "Get a proper bike!" at point blank range.  This required a response, but unfortunately the first thing that came to mind was a marginally appropriate "Smash the kyriarchy!".  In light of their resulting confused expression, I followed up with some crude but inaccurate sign interpretation as they sped off into the queue for the upcoming roundabout.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: LindaG on April 08, 2013, 06:00:34 pm
Kim I have no idea what that means but I wish I had said it first.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: barakta on April 08, 2013, 06:15:08 pm
Kyriarchy is basically like patriarchy but accounting for multiple types of oppression e.g sexism, racism, homophobia, disablism, classism etc (http://"https://www.google.co.uk/search?num=50&hl=en&client=ubuntu&hs=r2G&channel=fs&gl=uk&q=kyriarchy&tbs=dfn:1&tbo=u&sa=X&ei=lvpiUZriHajb0QXV94CoBw&ved=0CDAQkQ4&biw=1270&bih=869")

I only came across it very recently but like the idea of recognising the multiple axes on which people can be oppressed at the same time and that many of us have both privileges and oppressions.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 08, 2013, 06:45:25 pm
Kim I have no idea what that means but I wish I had said it first.

Neither did the oik.  I think he was trying to work out whether I'd insulted him.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 09, 2013, 06:53:46 pm
Kyriarchy is basically like patriarchy but accounting for multiple types of oppression e.g sexism, racism, homophobia, disablism, classism etc (http://"https://www.google.co.uk/search?num=50&hl=en&client=ubuntu&hs=r2G&channel=fs&gl=uk&q=kyriarchy&tbs=dfn:1&tbo=u&sa=X&ei=lvpiUZriHajb0QXV94CoBw&ved=0CDAQkQ4&biw=1270&bih=869")

I only came across it very recently but like the idea of recognising the multiple axes on which people can be oppressed at the same time and that many of us have both privileges and oppressions.
(http://www.picturesof.net/_images_300/A_Viking_Warrior_With_Multiple_Arms_Wielding_A_Sword_And_Axes_Royalty_Free_Clipart_Picture_090822-163485-735042.jpg)
I'm not sure quite what's so oppressive about Andy Gates...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 13, 2013, 08:43:55 pm
Basil and I got a "Hi you cunts!" from a passing hatchback as we struggled with the moist headwind on the way back from Tamworth earlier.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on April 13, 2013, 08:44:37 pm
Friends of yours?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on April 13, 2013, 08:49:16 pm
Oh yes.  I'd forgotten about that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on April 15, 2013, 10:02:23 am
Got the good old beep, beep, beep, BEEP from the car that pulled up behind me at the lights yesterday. I had the temerity to be in primary and to be doing nothing other than waiting for the lights to change. No one was going anywhere. Goes without saying that a bullet-headed buffoon then stuck his head out of the window to utter a stream of abuse (I'm still puzzling over 'gay cunt'). I just ignored it, life is too short, and I'd be better off trying to communicate with an amoeba. He probably missed by back wheel by millimetres taking the left turn behind me while I went straight on.

OK, it was Nottingham, which is a shit hole, but that kind of thing gnaws when you think about it. I don't get random abuse shouted at me for walking for the pavement, nor would I expect to. I can half understand it when tempers get raised after an interaction, but really, for just being there, patiently occupying a piece of uncontested road space?

Driving in general up there makes London seem positively friendly, you forget how used drivers are to cyclists in the capital. It was nice to get back and scoot (headwind willing) through the big smoke. Bonus homecoming points for the large lady taking a very public piss outside Peckham library and yelling "I don't fucking care" (which she evidently didn't).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on April 15, 2013, 10:05:43 am
In contrast, we got a clearly very friendly "toot toot" and wave from a patient girl inna hatchback who had waited for us to gain the rise and the road to be clear ahead, before passing us wide and slow (like a horse, maybe she had misconstrued my arse as something more equine).

Everybody loves a tandem.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Auntie Helen on April 15, 2013, 11:30:09 am
Sounds like tandems and recumbents have a similar effect on motorists ("hey, that's sick!" rather than "get outta my way NOW!").
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 15, 2013, 12:52:27 pm
OK, it was Nottingham, which is a shit hole, but that kind of thing gnaws when you think about it. I don't get random abuse shouted at me for walking for the pavement, nor would I expect to. I can half understand it when tempers get raised after an interaction, but really, for just being there, patiently occupying a piece of uncontested road space?

For reference, this is what's known as 'privilege'.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 15, 2013, 01:00:39 pm
Sounds like tandems and recumbents have a similar effect on motorists ("hey, that's sick!" rather than "get outta my way NOW!").

Indeed.  Also, heavy-looking trailers, at least in utility mode rather than touring mode, seem to provoke an unexpected amount of empathy from WVM.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Marmitegeoff on April 15, 2013, 01:22:45 pm
In contrast, we got a clearly very friendly "toot toot" and wave from a patient girl inna hatchback who had waited for us to gain the rise and the road to be clear ahead, before passing us wide and slow (like a horse, maybe she had misconstrued my arse as something more equine).

Everybody loves a tandem.

I really wish I had taken a photo of the pink tandem on Sat.  It would have done wonders for the club publicity dept.

Glad you all enjoyed the day.  See you in Sept ?

Geoff
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on April 23, 2013, 10:16:26 am
I had a good one of these on Friday last week.  I took a long route home to get some exercise and was riding quite a busy rat run  from Cardiff heading north to the Valleys.  Some joker in a bright blue chavmobile drove past whilst either him or one of his esteemed passengers gave it a reasonably high pitched (but still blokey).  "AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH" which never stopped as they passed with the front window wound down.

Of course it was a usual pointless rush hour overtake as we hit some traffic lights soon after whereupon I passed them again and got an identical scream.

When the lights changed they passed me one more time, hit a big queue and I passed them again (and for the last time).  Same thing each time  :facepalm:

I dignified it with not even acknowledging their presence on any of the occasions.  I do hope they enjoyed themselves  ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dave_C on May 01, 2013, 01:01:09 pm
Shouted at from behind a bus shelter, 'Single File!!' as me and my mate cycling to work.... [yawn!]

Even the wife, seeing two cyclists at the weekend in our quiet estate side by side, commented that they should be in single file. I asked why, and she replied that its in the highway code. I love getting one up on the wife!  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spindrift on May 01, 2013, 01:03:24 pm
Nearly misread that last sentence.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: toestrap on May 22, 2013, 07:53:01 am
In the middle of France, I'm stopped on the right hand side of the road at a T junction where I'm trying to work out if I need to go left or straight on.

Up roars Peugeot chavagen, 4 up, euroclub blasting from stereo, tinted windows etc etc. It stops and waits to turn left. I look round to see the driver making helpful and courteous 'after you' gesture (no I'm not being sarcastic). I decline as I'm still undecided and so, with a friendly wave he and his mates zoom off.

Made me positively homesick  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: sojournermike on May 24, 2013, 05:50:38 pm
Last comment I had on the bike, just after fitting an exposure revo to the LHT was, 'Bl**day bright light mate!' From passenger in small Peugeot hatch back I was waiting behind at T junction.

I've had much worse running, but nothing as bad as the poor local chap that had a bottle thrown in his face by a car of youths who drove round a block to carry out the attack. Never heard if they got them.

Mike.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on May 24, 2013, 06:15:39 pm
A couple of years ago I was climbing out of Sutton Coldfield in a slow moving jam.  I could hear female wooping, "bum", laughing, "arse", etc.
When the traffic eased, an open top containing four young(ish) ladies pulled past.  They all turned to oggle.
The look of horror on their faces was priceless. :-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: CAMRAMan on May 24, 2013, 06:38:03 pm
Did they realise you were a male BOBFOC?

(Body Off Baywatch - Face Off Crimewatch)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: matthew on May 25, 2013, 09:28:45 am
No they realised he was probably old enough to be their grandfather  ;D  :P
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: woollypigs on May 25, 2013, 09:56:28 am
Since I borrowed the trike I have had - way to go, how cool is that, how much, is that hard and handful of flyers thrown at us telling us that there is a boxing/fight club on at some date in the future.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on May 25, 2013, 11:42:14 am
Thank you Matthew.
AWL, I'll speak to you later.  ;-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: padbeat on May 25, 2013, 12:20:59 pm
Ah, the Kronenbourg effect - I look 16 from behind, 64 from the front.  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on May 25, 2013, 12:26:19 pm
I hate to be negative about the 'lesser' provinces, but last weekend's jolly across Wales featured a LOT of oiks being less than polite. (including a few 'obvious' close overtakes - a friend was actually brushed at one point!)

When you consider how few cars we actually saw in 600km, this was very disappointing.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Reg.T on May 25, 2013, 05:02:47 pm
It's weird how different riders on the same event can have such different experiences. I noticed no rudeness and just one close-ish pass last weekend - about the same as an average 12k commute for me.  :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on May 25, 2013, 06:07:55 pm
It's weird ...
Well, not really. Random noise probably accounts for it </boring reply!>

It seems sad, cos the roads were never busy. Drivers had no reason to be wound up, they were just taking issue with cyclists :(    Yes, it was minor aggro for 600km, but as I say, as a %age of drivers, the wanker count was too high, IMO.

Also I reckon the faster riders get more stick, cos drivers have had to overtake the whole field already ...  :smug:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Reg.T on May 25, 2013, 07:49:28 pm
Yes, that might explain it, if you were riding in front of me....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Meegat on June 05, 2013, 10:54:41 pm
CHRIIIISSSS FROOOOOOOOOME!

Nice to know that random shouty car people are keeping current.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mr magnolia on June 05, 2013, 11:02:32 pm
CHRIIIISSSS FROOOOOOOOOME!

Nice to know that random shouty car people are keeping current.  :thumbsup:

Scary for you to think that you might look like the pro cyclist that looks like a drug crazed pro cyclist though!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Auntie Helen on June 13, 2013, 10:07:31 am
Cycling through a small village in Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany, yesterday, two young lads shouted to me: "Are you part of the circus?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on June 13, 2013, 10:13:43 am
At which point you no doubt demonstrated your handstand-on-the-handlebars routine  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on June 14, 2013, 10:56:08 pm
Did they realise you were a male BOBFOC?

(Body Off Baywatch - Face Off Crimewatch)
The more apposite term is 'Rear Admirable'
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: paul851 on June 15, 2013, 11:29:04 pm
On last weekends 3 Coasts 600 around 2:30am passing a restaurant, myself and another rider chased down the road by a drunken young man screaming incoherently with a pint in one hand and a bottle of beer in the other whilst his friends looked on laughing  ::-) 


Paul
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on June 16, 2013, 12:13:25 am
Sowerby Bridge?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: paul851 on June 16, 2013, 09:25:53 am
Sowerby Bridge?

On the way into Sowerby Peter , possibly Elland  but could have been Copley .

Paul
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on June 16, 2013, 10:34:18 am
Sounds like Elland.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on June 17, 2013, 09:29:55 am
Picture the scene:
Bradford on Avon. Half past midnight.
Revellers sauntering across the road
Tandem descends, brakes a'squealing

me: "Evening"
drunk girl: "That's better"

?? Had the previous riders (we were about 55/85 at this point) not been polite??

Frome, kebab O'Clock. Various Zummersettians in various states

Bath Street, according to Strava is 7.4%. We got at least 4 separate groups cheering us up it.
"Go ON! You can do it!"

It was almost like PBP. I was just waiting for a 'bon courage'.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Adam on June 17, 2013, 09:39:15 am
CHRIIIISSSS FROOOOOOOOOME!

Nice to know that random shouty car people are keeping current.  :thumbsup:

On last month's FNRttC to Whitstable, heading out of London, I heard a "Go on, Rasmussen" shouted at us.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 26, 2013, 08:09:31 pm
Not an oik, but I got a "Are you the one with that special bike?" from a shop assistant today.  Apparently she'd seen me chasing cars on the Bristol Road a few times.  Notable because not only had I arrived on an upwrong, but I'd parked it well out of sight of that shop.

A bit later on, while riding with barakta on her trike, I overheard a woman telling her small child that "that's called a recumbent bicycle".

The Brummies are learning...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on June 26, 2013, 09:37:57 pm
That's worrying. If the Brummies gain sentience we are all in trouble :o :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 26, 2013, 09:52:01 pm
It's okay, they're going to close the Queensway tunnels and gridlock the city as a precaution.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: padbeat on June 26, 2013, 10:16:14 pm
I was meeting up with a couple of mates for a run last week as 4 cyclists in lycra and on road bikes came up Sinclair St on their way over the Black Hill. They were obviously pushing it a bit hard and blowing a bit. Clearly it was incumbent on us to run alongside with loud applause and a cheery "Allez, allez, allez!" and other such encouraging cheers! They seemed to appreciate it,  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spindrift on June 27, 2013, 07:00:26 pm
That oik who tweeted stuff about cyclists has had her file passed to the CPS

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-23087008
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Moultonaught on July 03, 2013, 10:40:12 am
Not an oik and not aimed directly at me riding, but cycling through the centre of Henley on Thames on a  bright yellow F frame Moulton, a very well-to-do looking lady  (resident or Regatta - who knows?) said in a very loud voice to her walking companion

"What a cute bike" 

:) impeccable taste methinks!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 11, 2013, 12:49:27 pm
"You've got an ass like a woman!"

Well, yes.

File under 'does not compute' and 'everyday sexism'
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tiermat on July 11, 2013, 01:23:49 pm
"You've got an ass like a woman!"


Really? Do all women have to lead a donkey around these days? Were you in Jerusalem at the time?

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on July 11, 2013, 01:26:35 pm
Although I have a burro catalan sticker on the back of my car now, it appears to be male so I cannot advance the total sum of female donkey knowlege
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 11, 2013, 01:55:50 pm
"You've got an ass like a woman!"


Really? Do all women have to lead a donkey around these days? Were you in Jerusalem at the time?

It was shouted in a faux American accent, and can therefore reasonably translated as 'arse'.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on July 11, 2013, 02:01:34 pm
"You've got an ass like a woman!"


Really? Do all women have to lead a donkey around these days? Were you in Jerusalem at the time?

It was shouted in a faux American accent, and can therefore reasonably translated as 'arse'.

You should have put a hat on his donkey.

Anyway, mine from last week. Lunchtime bimble, MP3 playing $RADIO_PLAY.  Pelicon crossing. Lights red. I stop. Hairy Man crosses, says something and gesticulates. I remove headphones and ask him to repeat.
Hairy Man: "You're a cyclist, you can go through. That's what they normally do."
Me: "I'm a road user and I follow the rules. I'm the nice one."

Lady behind Hairy Man smiles.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on July 11, 2013, 03:37:54 pm
^
Sot-on reply
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Reg.T on July 11, 2013, 04:59:23 pm
^
I hope it is a 'p' that's missing there, rather than an 'n'
 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jogler on July 11, 2013, 06:41:08 pm
I certainly do need a "p"

I should have gone to sec savers ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 10, 2013, 07:48:30 pm
"Hey!  Yer got a sick boik!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on August 12, 2013, 11:17:21 am
More 'everyone loves a tandem'

Yoofs on BMX/BSOs hanging round shoppe, somewhere on Rough Diamond this weekend
"... <garble, might've been Welsh>... get one of those!"

(It might have been during the time we were the 3rd or even 4th 'one of those' they'd spotted  :) )
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on August 12, 2013, 01:04:27 pm
On our way home last night, a lad standing outside his house wearing a dressing gown shouted, 'That's really cool!'

'Thank you' said Butterfly, 'I know'

'You're welcome' said the very polite oik.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 16, 2013, 10:44:20 pm
Riding somewhere near Machynlleth with the 'bent in full touring mode with Wowbagger OTP:

Passing hiker: "Wow!"
Me: "How did she know your name?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: delthebike on August 17, 2013, 05:23:29 pm
Although I was probably shouted at I couldn't hear it over the sound of his horn or through his rolled up passenger window. I imagine it went something like this
"I say old chap did you know there is a cycle path just for you, to your left, on this section of the A127, four lane dual carriageway. Even though we two are the only vehicles on it for half a mile in either direction I do, honestly, feel that you should be there and not in the left hand land 1.5 metres out from the kerb. Why I very nearly had to move my rather expensively large Mercedes Benz wholly onto the other lane to pass you. Good day!"

It's a mystery to me why they do it.  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on August 19, 2013, 05:22:22 pm
We had a "Waaarggjl;ekrs" at the weekend.

I think that's Hullish for 'wow, lovely bike, and you seem so happy'. I think.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on August 20, 2013, 09:57:34 am
Twice now in the last six months I've had passing kids sing 'I want to ride my bicycle, I want to Ride my Biiiiike'  (copyright Queen).  This was quite amusing the first time, the second time much less so...  ah, they all think they're the first...

It did occur to me on the latest occasion that the kid doing this was standing right next to a canal while he was doing this.  Quick shove whilst storming past...?  :demon:
(I know, not really)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Chris S on August 21, 2013, 08:51:10 am
Riding through Girton early yesterday evening, fboab and I earned a chorus of "Whooaaa!" from multiple children near a playground. Everyone loves a tandem  :thumbsup:.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on August 21, 2013, 09:09:24 am
Along the lines of what happened to me - do you ever get a rendition of 'Daisy, Daisy...?'

I'm guessing it would be nice if they had that much imagination ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tiermat on August 21, 2013, 09:13:58 am
Last night, on the way back to the digs, I got a "Nice calves you have there", in the most cut glass RP I have heard in a while.

Made me feel she was assessing a horse, but then it would have been fetlocks, surely, not calves?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on August 21, 2013, 10:13:32 am
Along the lines of what happened to me - do you ever get a rendition of 'Daisy, Daisy...?'

I'm guessing it would be nice if they had that much imagination ;)
Nowhere near as often as "She's not pedalling at the back", which is always hilarious  ::-)

(We even had that from simonp at Loughton. Was that really the best you could come up with?)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on August 21, 2013, 10:16:51 am
When I was out on the canal at the weekend, with that in mind I briefly about shouting something along those lines to the double kayak that passed us at one point  ;) - the guy at the back really wasn't paddling.  I decided against it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on August 21, 2013, 10:17:07 am
We like the ones who get so excited that they forget the word 'tandem'.

We've had teenagers jumping up and down with delight at seeing a 'double bike', 'tricycle', and several others.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: billplumtree on August 21, 2013, 10:53:38 am
We like the ones who get so excited that they forget the word 'tandem'.

Or never knew it in the first place...?  Garage forecourt, Penrith, audax o'clock, after the pubs have chucked out: 
Quote
fook, look at the length of that bike!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Chris S on August 21, 2013, 10:56:51 am
"Hey, look! It's a two-er"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on August 21, 2013, 10:57:39 am
In the same category: 'Longbike!', 'Carry bike!'

In a different category: 'Lesbians!'
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 21, 2013, 11:03:07 am
In a different category: 'Lesbians!'

I've had that while walking down the street on my own.  I think it's the shoes.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on August 21, 2013, 01:56:30 pm
Along the lines of what happened to me - do you ever get a rendition of 'Daisy, Daisy...?'

I'm guessing it would be nice if they had that much imagination ;)
Nowhere near as often as "She's not pedalling at the back", which is always hilarious  ::-)

(We even had that from simonp at Loughton. Was that really the best you could come up with?)

Come on now, it's as obligatory as shouting "She's fallen off" when seeing someone solo.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on August 21, 2013, 02:02:21 pm
Last night, on the way back to the digs, I got a "Nice calves you have there", in the most cut glass RP I have heard in a while.

Made me feel she was assessing a horse, but then it would have been fetlocks, surely, not calves?

You are right. Horses have fetlocks. Cows have calves. HTH.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on August 21, 2013, 06:00:30 pm
Along the lines of what happened to me - do you ever get a rendition of 'Daisy, Daisy...?'

I'm guessing it would be nice if they had that much imagination ;)
Nowhere near as often as "She's not pedalling at the back", which is always hilarious  ::-)

(We even had that from simonp at Loughton. Was that really the best you could come up with?)

Come on now, it's as obligatory as shouting "She's fallen off" when seeing someone solo.

I once rode the tandem up the Rochdale Canal towpath almost from Brighouse to Todmorden, passing a great many people on the way, without even once being vouchsafed that information.  I was disappointed with the Great British Public. :(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Butterfly on August 21, 2013, 07:35:07 pm
Along the lines of what happened to me - do you ever get a rendition of 'Daisy, Daisy...?'

I'm guessing it would be nice if they had that much imagination ;)
We once had a full chorus of it that finished just as the lights we were waiting at changed to green. It was fantastic!

'Lesbians!' Addressed to me and NSTN is definitely one of my favourite heckles!

Today a small child pointed at Nye's trailer and remarked to his mother 'that's cool'. They then stood and watched me puffing up the hill, trying not to look as though it was hard work!


Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tatanab on August 21, 2013, 08:45:52 pm
We like the ones who get so excited that they forget the word 'tandem'.

We've had teenagers jumping up and down with delight at seeing a 'double bike', 'tricycle', and several others.
Strange that, because as a tricyclist I find it not unusual to have my machine called  a tandem.  The strangest thing is that some club bicyclists confuse the terms and simply cannot dredge tricycle from their vocabularies.  I've even had people ask me what I call it, to which I've been tempted to respond "Terry".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on August 26, 2013, 12:11:13 am
One of the guys over on CycleChat got seranaded on the way home ;D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fsyug0dhE-s
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: welly on August 26, 2013, 02:08:45 am
One of the guys over on CycleChat got seranaded on the way home ;D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fsyug0dhE-s

That was beautiful and the lyrics were factual too. He did have a camera on his heed. I was a little disappointed there wasn't more swearing though.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on September 15, 2013, 02:48:20 pm
...or rather a cyclist (me) shouting at a POB.

He was a mature man riding down Balcombe Road in the darkness. MTBSO, carrier bag swinging from left handlebar, dark clothing, no lights of any kind, and heading past the last houses into Sussex.

"Some lights might be nice!"
"What's your effing problem?"
"Not me, I'm not the one who's going to get killed"

Darwin...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Riggers on September 25, 2013, 04:15:40 pm
" … cycle path"

was all I could understand from a red-faced passenger in a black 4x4 as I sailed along the Kings Road on the seafront in Brighton yesterday evening (lovely warm evening too). Maybe he was red of face because he'd mustered up the courage to splurt an authoritative I'll-show-this-cyclist-who's-boss rant or, he was suddenly embarrassed, finding out I wasn't as he assumed, some 'young blade' hogging the Queen's highway, nor was I slowing their's or anybody else's car down for that matter. It mattered not that I was maintaining the same speed as the car in front (around 25-30mph in my estimation). Nor did it matter, that at this particular stretch of the road you can fit two cars-wide easily, and the only obsticle preventing this twat from going any faster, or at least impeding his progress was … other vehicles and red lights at pedestrian crossings. I could have instructed him in the absurdity of me cycling at that speed on a shared path with slower cyclists, mums with toddlers, runners, dog-walkers, young and older couples walking and enjoying the sunshine. But I didn't. What an arse.

"… traffic jam"

Was the last bit of shit to issue from his fat jowly gob. I was calmly trying to conjure something erudite, factual or at the very least – witty to say in reply. My brain kept coming up with "Fuck off and have a heart attack."

So I remained silent and ignored the fat slob. This happened yesterday evening, and just typing now it's difficult to just "Let it go." But I'll try.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on September 25, 2013, 07:18:37 pm
I have to admit to once using the following riposte to an overweight shouter of the "you should be on the cycle path" variety.

"So should you, you fat blob."

Not clever, but it's the only time I have ever managed to say something which, after the event, I was struggling to come up with anything better.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 07, 2013, 03:14:57 pm
Not an oik, but yesterday a cyclist who waited patiently while barakta completed the 9-point turn required to negotiate a Silly Sustrans Gate came out with the confusing question:

"Are you doing the half-marathon?"

Now, I'm aware that there's a half-marathon in the area on the 20th, so they were probably referring to that (because otherwise the reply would be "no, I'm trying to cycle through a Silly Sustrans Gate"), but other than that it seemed like a fairly random thing to ask.

Once we were a bit further down the road, barakta pointed out that they appeared to be doing the wheelchair voice.   :facepalm:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on October 07, 2013, 03:59:30 pm
"The wheelchair voice."
I'm pretty sure I can imagine what that is.
How does it go?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on October 07, 2013, 05:31:06 pm
On the final evening of my tour with Nutkin last year she fell so deeply asleep that I couldn't wake her sufficiently for her to come for a meal at the pub some three miles or so away, so I rode the tandem solo.

Just as I was leaving the pub after a very good 3-course meal a bloke was arriving.

"Blimey!" said he, "I'm seeing double and I haven't even had a drink yet!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 07, 2013, 09:15:34 pm
"The wheelchair voice."
I'm pretty sure I can imagine what that is.
How does it go?

You know the one.  Same patronising tone used for age-inappropriate conversations with other people's children.  Traditionally used for expressing how brave the wheelchair user must be, or pointlessly and conspicuously directing questions at their companion.

I suppose it's better than all the scrounger rhetoric, thobut.


ETA:  Barakta has just demonstrated the associated "wheelchair face".  She'll do it for you some time in exchange for your awesome geese impression.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on October 11, 2013, 01:10:05 pm
Riding home last night I climbed a small incline near my house  and overheard two young lads (about 8-10 years old) - as I went past one went 'Wooooooow!  Olympic bike!'


Cool, nicest thing anyone's said about my bike  :thumbsup: 8)


I notice they didn't have the same awe for the guy riding it ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on November 17, 2013, 05:48:07 pm
We had a new one from WVM, shouted at our peleton just before we turned off the main road out of town onto quieter lanes. Summat like:

"You're supposed to ride in sixes, wankers!"

No problem with us being 2-abreast, apparently! Shame he didn't have his personal copy of the HC handy to show us.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: shyumu on November 17, 2013, 06:45:05 pm
Two pre-teen boys shouted at me in Stockton, it might have been, "You're falling off! Hahahaha"  They shouted this contrary to evidence available to them at the time.  Apart from the difference in opinion on my state of being upright, what really struck me was why these children thought their opinion was of value to me.

I managed not to prove them right for the remainder of my ride.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Reg.T on November 18, 2013, 10:14:01 am
We had a new one from WVM, shouted at our peleton just before we turned off the main road out of town onto quieter lanes. Summat like:

"You're supposed to ride in sixes, wankers!"

No problem with us being 2-abreast, apparently! Shame he didn't have his personal copy of the HC handy to show us.
Maybe he was getting mixed up between a club ride and a cub ride  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on November 18, 2013, 10:21:36 am
Not an oik, and not a cyclist, either.  I was crossing Purley Way on a pedestrian crossing with a green light.  There were a number of vehicles over the line, including a big white van completely blocking the crossing.  I pushed the buggy round the front of the van, and the passenger window wound down.  When I heard what he said, I wheeled round so quickly, I could see him cringe back away from the window.

Actually, I'd turned round because what he'd said was 'Sorry'.  OK, that's not quite enough - far better not to have done it in the first place.  But, because he said that, I thought I should respond.  Not to say 'That's all right' in a very English way, since it just wasn't all right.  But I acknowledged his apology, and said how good it was that he had made the effort.  I want to encourage good behaviour even more than I want to eradicate bad.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Redlight on November 18, 2013, 09:10:34 pm
About half a dozen older teenagers in suits - i guess doing work experience or something - walked straight out in front of me on Tower Hill. My shout of something like "Whoa, do pay attention young chaps" was greeted with a chorus of' "Wear a helmet".

That'll learn me.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Canardly on November 18, 2013, 10:10:39 pm
Last week end had verbal abuse twice. Always seems to come from 10 year old clapped out motors with resident spotted Youf but this time included female passenger verbiage. In fairness to young folk generally though, a group of us had to unblock a pathway blocked by young folk doing their thing with their motors post night time rave presumably and there was no bad language or any attitude at all, so well done to them.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wobbly on November 26, 2013, 08:07:49 pm
On last weekend's Dinner Dart Audax at about 11:30pm riding through Leicester City centre on the Pashly - a lone voice called out "wanker" as they overtook me.

Highlight of the ride really.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on February 15, 2014, 12:10:48 pm
Obese person* crossing road in Brighton, by clock towere on Queens, to some cyclists.

"Dickheads!"

Well, they were riding through the crowd of pedestrians and through a red light. Two minutes later, of course, a white van made an illegal right turn through another group of 'green man' pedestrians.


*It was me doing the shouting...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: teethgrinder on February 15, 2014, 02:04:10 pm
Bzzzz!

Deviation!

Calling a dickhead a dickhead isn't the same as a dickhead shouting something stupid at a non dickhead.
You are neither an oik, dickhead or stupid, so your claim is invalid.
Sorry. :(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Martin109 on February 15, 2014, 03:01:02 pm
Along the lines of what happened to me - do you ever get a rendition of 'Daisy, Daisy...?'

I'm guessing it would be nice if they had that much imagination ;)
Nowhere near as often as "She's not pedalling at the back", which is always hilarious  ::-)

(We even had that from simonp at Loughton. Was that really the best you could come up with?)

To that comment, I generally say "Stoker got banned for insubordination... [looking at heckler] and lack or originality!"

It earned a 'Sorry' once!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on February 15, 2014, 06:23:08 pm
You're fat! You're fat! You're fat! ... (repeated until out my earshot)

Yebbut,  in my case that is true....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spindrift on February 15, 2014, 06:31:32 pm
How's this for timing Steph, went round a mate's and was gasping so drank a can of coke too quickly and set off back home, rode past the Artichoke pub and some beer-users at the table outside shouted some old bollocks or other, I swallowed and BARKED a mahoosive belch and followed in with "Your mum".


Beer users:  "Arooga rooga smurfle bleurgh"

Me, instantaneously: "BRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPP. Your mum."

Quality.



Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on March 18, 2014, 12:42:40 pm
I actually managed to catch a comment for once last night.


Bunch of lads and ladies of teenage years crossing the road ahead of me (mostly) yesterday evening.  A few shouted comments were indecipherable but the last one boggled me - "Your wheel is following you mate!"
 ???



Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 18, 2014, 12:51:30 pm
I got a "Sexy lady!" from a gaggle of teenage girls yesterday.  I assume because I'm fat.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on March 18, 2014, 01:24:10 pm
It's a charming time of life eh.  Sadly I cannot but fess up to being somewhat like that myself at a similar age so I cannot hold it against them too much.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Socks on March 19, 2014, 07:04:00 pm
A lot of the time I can't hear what is being shouted out of the car window.  Or why the driver has pipped their horn.  My preferred response is a friendly smile and wave.

If it is someone who knows me that's an appropriate response.  If it is an aggressive metal box type it is also an appropriate response.  If they always travel by car, and therefore take little exercise, I'm helping to raise the blood pressure and reduce their life expectancy ....

Long term effect - more cyclists and pedestrians, fewer car-dependent types?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on March 21, 2014, 10:42:09 am
Well 3 days on the trot I've been abused on the approach to my house on they way home in the evening.  >:( >:( >:(


Last night was particularly pleasant with some fuckwit deliberately swinging a large rope around his head more or less at me as I came past.
The way I feel about it at the moment is he'll be having to visit casualty to have it surgically removed from his rectum next time.
Or I might just waste my breath and phone the police next time.  >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Vince on March 31, 2014, 09:41:41 am
Just outside Wivenhoe, guy on an MTB walking his dog shouted "Oh you've got a Croix De Fer"  :thumbsup: :thumbsup: ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on March 31, 2014, 01:44:44 pm
Does that belong in here, or in the  'Cyclists shouting stuff at oiks' thread :P
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Deano on April 03, 2014, 12:10:11 am
GET ON THE ROAD!

Me, to a lass on the pavement who barely stopped in front of me, then swore at me for having the temerity to, you know, be walking on the pavement. It was touch n go for a second whether her brakes would stop her.

An amusing role reversal - but nowhere near as good as the time when I was walking home, only to feel a jab in my ribs from behind. I looked back to see a lad supine but still half-astride a bike, a phone still stuck to his ear and chips everywhere.

I shook my head at the scene and walked on, and a driver waved me down - turns out, he'd been riding along the pavement no-handed, phone in one hand and chips in the other, until he lost control and hit me. Chips went everywhere.

I'm sure I remember hearing him say "my chips!" through a mouthful of chips.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 03, 2014, 12:22:51 am
Since we don't have a "Roadies shouting stuff at other cyclists" thread, this seems like as good a place as any for:

Time-triallist on the road outside the campsite on Saturday.  As per tradition[1] for the final day of a tour, I'd ended up mixed in with the disc wheels and tri bars brigade trundling back to the start point, making about the same pace on my touring recumbent with full[2] set of panniers.  One of the cyclists giving it the beans on the way out saw this and lost valuable seconds to momentary hysterics.

In a similar vein, Roadie Sr and Roadie Jr passed yesterday, and Roadie Jr was compelled to sit bolt upright and shout "WHAT THE FU...?" at me, while Roadie Sr looked mildly embarrassed.  I imagine they had an awkward birds-and-the-bees-style talk about the dark side when they got home.


[1] If it's not the time-trial it's the mass charity ride.
[2] Mostly with feather-encapsulated air, as befits camping in March.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: AlexR on April 04, 2014, 07:41:59 pm
It is a regular occurrence for me to get shouted or laughed at,when I am in the Quest,even had cars mount the pavement to pull over and gawp as I pass by.It makes the journey more interesting.
On the upright,I get the normal,shouting out of passenger windows,or abuse if the cant get past,I normally ask them to repeat it for the camera on my helmet.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 29, 2014, 12:40:32 am
I got barked at (in the dog noises sense) by a couple of men today, though I suspect that's more #EverydaySexism than cycling-specific abuse.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 29, 2014, 12:35:29 pm
I got "We love you" from a girl of indeterminate age leaning out of the window of a big black four-by-four. The plural was odd, but what was funny was they overtook me and then turned in to a side turning I was just about to take - and then realised it wasn't the one I wanted, in fact it only went to a farm. I wonder if she thought I was following her to reciprocate her (their?) romantic declarations, but I suppose it's more likely she didn't even notice.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: GothonaBrompton on April 29, 2014, 03:06:16 pm
Last night a MAMIL cyclist oik in full repicla Sky Kit and a pointy helmet came hurtling past me poodling across Westminster Bridge on my Brompton - I was rapidly catching up a Boris Biker, and had done an over shoulder check to see if I could pull round him, and this guy was right on my shoulder, overtaking really close given he had a whole bus lane to play with - and shouted - "Where's your helmet" as I commit the cardinal sin of not wearing a full lycra body suit and looking like a normal person.

Lets not veer off into a full helmet debate here, but it's none of his damn business!  >:(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on April 29, 2014, 03:08:09 pm
Last night a MAMIL cyclist oik in full repicla Sky Kit and a pointy helmet came hurtling past me poodling across Westminster Bridge on my Brompton - I was rapidly catching up a Boris Biker, and had done an over shoulder check to see if I could pull round him, and this guy was right on my shoulder, overtaking really close given he had a whole bus lane to play with - and shouted - "Where's your helmet" as I commit the cardinal sin of not wearing a full lycra body suit and looking like a normal person.

Lets not veer off into a full helmet debate here, but it's none of his damn business!  >:(

"Same place as your clue you twat!" might have been an appropriate response.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: GothonaBrompton on April 29, 2014, 03:12:34 pm
I can never think of a witty response at the time of these things, apart from generalised and uncharacteristic for me otherwise, profanities.  Which isn't very ladylike.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on April 29, 2014, 03:13:56 pm
I can never think of a witty response at the time of these things, apart from generalised and uncharacteristic for me otherwise, profanities.  Which isn't very ladylike.

The "you twat" at the end is, of course, entirely optional ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: GothonaBrompton on April 29, 2014, 03:30:10 pm
For some reason if someone cuts me up in a motorised vehicle or is generally acting like an idiot, the word 'wanker' always springs to mind.  I have no idea why.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on April 29, 2014, 03:34:29 pm
I bow to your superior knowledge :-*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spindrift on April 29, 2014, 03:51:09 pm
Sorry I missed that, you'd have had a vocal ally. Or I would have killed him in the face.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Riggers on April 29, 2014, 03:57:05 pm
Apologies Fuzzy but, I think you'll find, the correct and much more concise (and condensed) response is: "Twat!"*

*Based on the overtaking bullying cyclists speed v the innocent recipient's own speed.

Variables of response should be considered of course, depending each rider's relevant speed at the time of contact.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dibdib on April 29, 2014, 09:13:05 pm
Apologies Fuzzy but, I think you'll find, the correct and much more concise (and condensed) response is: "Twat!"*

*Based on the overtaking bullying cyclists speed v the innocent recipient's own speed.

Variables of response should be considered of course, depending each rider's relevant speed at the time of contact.

I dunno, I'm with SJS on this one. In my experience, "Wanker!" is a lot easier for motorised morons to lip-read in the rear view mirror from their largely soundproof SEP fields, and - where necessary - can be reinforced with an unambiguous gesture-based translation.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: GothonaBrompton on April 30, 2014, 08:30:15 am
 ;D nearly spits coffee on keyboard - but very true. 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Graeme on May 04, 2014, 03:41:05 pm
"Mate, you got a light?" - indicating the cigarette in his hand.

I wonder if he had been shouting this at anything that moved, motorists... stray dogs... the wind in the trees - because shouting it at a passing cyclist seems exceptionally optimistic.  All I could really reply was, "No, sorry" and shrug my shoulders.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 04, 2014, 07:21:06 pm
Barakta and I just got a "Cyclewankers!".  Haven't had one of those for ages.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on May 04, 2014, 07:33:36 pm
Barakta and I just got a "Cyclewankers!".  Haven't had one of those for ages.

Sorry, has to be asked.  Were you, then?  :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 04, 2014, 07:52:49 pm
Barakta and I just got a "Cyclewankers!".  Haven't had one of those for ages.

Sorry, has to be asked.  Were you, then?  :demon:

We were riding them good and proper...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on May 04, 2014, 08:24:16 pm
 :facepalm:
Oh for heaven's sake.  I'm trying to be rude here.
 ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Gattopardo on May 09, 2014, 11:43:32 pm
If a young oik, on a school mini bus, sitting in the front seat shouts abuse at you twice, at different times and places.  The second time there is a policeman nearby so they pull the minibus over and suddenly the boy in question is very quiet.  When asked by the policeman the whole mini bus was silent and alledegdly the boy didn't say anything.

So I have found out what school they are part of.  Would you write to the school and express your displeasure at the pupils behaviour and that the minibus driver did not have control of the pupils.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dibdib on May 10, 2014, 12:02:38 am
If a young oik, on a school mini bus, sitting in the front seat shouts abuse at you twice, at different times and places.  The second time there is a policeman nearby so they pull the minibus over and suddenly the boy in question is very quiet.  When asked by the policeman the whole mini bus was silent and alledegdly the boy didn't say anything.

So I have found out what school they are part of.  Would you write to the school and express your displeasure at the pupils behaviour and that the minibus driver did not have control of the pupils.

Absolutely.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on May 10, 2014, 06:12:22 am
For sure, and the school should welcome the feedback which gives them an opportunity to remediate the behaviour of the children given the school a bad name. BUT it isn't the driver's fault, his job is to drive. If they need to , they need another adult on the bus, or they stop the children using that facility.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on May 11, 2014, 09:46:53 pm
He let the teacher down, he let himself down, and he let the whole school down.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Barry on May 11, 2014, 09:50:27 pm
You think you have it bad being shouted at because you ride a bike?

Try riding a bright pink tricycle.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on May 19, 2014, 08:53:07 pm
Pulling steadily into the middle of the road, arm indicating right. Cars hooning up behind me, starts to the usual overtake on outside, except he screams to a halt blocking the wrong side of the road out of the side window his splenetic puce pumpkin of a face shouts "YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!"

To which I looked round and "yes, I am."

You have to wonder. Anyway, he was a company car and I phoned his boss this morning to congratulate them on their refreshing approach to cultivating a public image.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: barakta on May 19, 2014, 08:55:51 pm
Hahaha to phoning his boss!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: De Sisti on May 27, 2014, 09:44:23 am
...I phoned his boss this morning to congratulate them on their refreshing approach to cultivating a public image.
What was the reaction of the person you phoned?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on May 27, 2014, 03:45:31 pm
...I phoned his boss this morning to congratulate them on their refreshing approach to cultivating a public image.
What was the reaction of the person you phoned?

I got through to the MD. We had a good chat and he readily agreed that such behaviour was completely unacceptable. He sounded a lot more annoyed by it than I was. Anyway, I got the impression that some motorised loudmouth was about to have a very bad Monday.

I always make the point of contacting companies when vehicles are readily indentifiable. To be honest, if you're driving a visibly branded vehicle and you make a habit of shouting abuse and assaulting people, then you're not too bright. I had an incident with an agressive horn-tooting van driver a while back, the usual. Anyway, I had a reasonable word and got abuse back. I told him I'd give his employers a call. He claimed I'd never find out who he worked for. He was sitting in a van emblazoned with the name of both the company and the London Borough they were working for. The lady I got through to had to admit that perhaps he wasn't their brightest employee.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: dkahn400 on May 28, 2014, 06:09:56 pm
- Oi mate, yer back tyre's flat.

- Sure it is, like your head.

Sometimes it's just too easy.


Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on May 28, 2014, 06:45:56 pm
I've just used Google Translate.
Apparently, HOOT HOOT!  means "I say, you're riding a bicycle"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Deano on May 28, 2014, 08:17:36 pm
I don't think there's a thread for pleasant things yelled at you while cycling, but I had a "Bon courage" on Monday.

I was near Richmond, but I was wearing my PBP top and the car had French plates, which might account for it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on June 05, 2014, 08:32:23 am
Riding through Hurstpierpoint, the East Sussex CTC were addressed by a chavvy looking (but pretty posh) lad with the words:

'Shut up, you old fucks!'

OK, we were chatting, and Butterfly was by far the youngest in the group, but it was a tad unwarranted.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bumper on June 05, 2014, 08:55:11 am
Doing a postbox run last week I got heckled.

The postbox is right next to a beer garden, it was almost kicking out time. A yoof shouts "you look a twat dressed like that" so the classic got sent back "I can change my clothes when I get back home and not look like a twat, but you..." I didn't have to finish it, his drunken mates helped me out.

Every time I use that postbox there's some smart arse comment, pissheads. I'm amazed how many people get drunk on a work night. People still shout "go Lance" from the pub, don't know if they're out of date or insulting me. I've also got "thinks he's Cav", yep, with a loaded rack, lights. I've often seen Cav stop with 50m to go to post a few letters. Even if it's raining there's always someone shouting something, I think they must use the beer garden for smoking in too, muppets!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on June 05, 2014, 09:25:29 am
I shouted something at a cyclist the other day. 'Twas on the Stratford bike lane, I always take care passing other cyclists; holding back till it is safe and nonthreatening (not universal behaviour, but you could have guessed that). Up ahead there was a bike riding slowly and a bit erratically. As I eventually pass I see she is trying to hold a handsfree conversation on her phone. Unfortunately part of this handsfree involved one hand free of the bars, and she wasn't making a good fist of it. "One thing or the  other, one thing or the other" was the best I could come up with at short notice.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tiermat on June 05, 2014, 04:48:47 pm
On last night's social ride there was a couple of "oroughaghagarrrrrrrrrrrrrr"s and single ".....nkersssss" (obviously not fully ware of the Doppler effect) and one youngish person, in the back of a Fiesta, trying to squash his/her face out of a half opened window whilst sticking their tongue out at us.

The last one made me laugh.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tatanab on June 05, 2014, 05:18:02 pm
I had one of those very distorted exclamations from the passenger of a soft top car.  From the body language I think he (50s and fat) was being positive, so that's fine.  But I would think that if you are driving a distinctive car with a very modified number plate you might not want your passenger drawing attention to you.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: SlowCoach on July 06, 2014, 09:09:44 pm
Not oiks, but I had an interesting couple of shouts as I rode round the closed section of Ripon ring road before the TdF came through. I was riding a recumbent well laden down with red wine, Camembert and French bread. The French stick was rather prominently strapped across the pannier rack.

Shout 1: "True legend!" I'm not sure if it referred to the bike, the bread or the combination.

Shout 2: "Look Mommy - I want one of those for my birthday!" The parental response was rather interesting... "I think we could get you a French stick"

Shout 3: "Oi! The UCI banned them. You're too fast" His mate replied "More fool the UCI"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 07, 2014, 07:03:02 pm
Let's see.  Over the course of a two hour ride, the bulk of which was on mostly-empty lanes, I had:

It might be the TdF effect, but this sort of thing is pretty normal.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on July 07, 2014, 07:08:58 pm
Over the weekend I was in Yorkshire with the Tandem Club (I was on a solo).  We counted the number of "can you ride tandem/" in both cod and real Yorkshire accents. We got a fair few "she's not pedalling on the back".  To which one of our group responded: "If I got a penny for every time I heard that, I wouldn't have to foookin pedal".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Karla on July 07, 2014, 07:20:16 pm
"Get a helmet!"  This was from somewhere in TdF crowd at Green Hammerton hill (the first incline on the Tour stage 2, ~10 miles out of York) while I was riding slowly along looking for a space.  Sadly, going to watch a bike race doesn't stop you from being a div.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Deano on July 07, 2014, 07:23:42 pm
Over the weekend I was in Yorkshire with the Tandem Club (I was on a solo).  We counted the number of "can you ride tandem/" in both cod and real Yorkshire accents. We got a fair few "she's not pedalling on the back".  To which one of our group responded: "If I got a penny for every time I heard that, I wouldn't have to foookin pedal".

Up at Grinton there was a tandem being pushed uphill by a solo rider, no stoker in sight.

I had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying "Lost something? Hur hur."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on July 07, 2014, 07:38:03 pm
  • "G'wan luv!" From a man using the sportsball supporter voice.
Ooh, must remember that one for next time we meet.   ;D

Note to everyone else:
Yes.  I do know how to run away very quickly.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: barakta on July 07, 2014, 07:59:00 pm
*Points Kim at cheekiness on this thread  :demon:*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 07, 2014, 08:01:42 pm
The way my lungs are going, running away moderately quickly should suffice.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on July 07, 2014, 08:19:36 pm
*Points Kim at cheekiness on this thread  :demon:*

 :facepalm:

 :o  :o
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jaded on July 07, 2014, 08:43:41 pm
On last night's social ride there was a couple of "oroughaghagarrrrrrrrrrrrrr"s and single ".....nkersssss" (obviously not fully ware of the Doppler effect) and one youngish person, in the back of a Fiesta, trying to squash his/her face out of a half opened window whilst sticking their tongue out at us.

The last one made me laugh.

"Shut the window if you want to lick it!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spindrift on July 07, 2014, 09:28:32 pm
"Get a normal bike you div!"

lol. that's brilliant, ha ha.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: CrinklyLion on July 08, 2014, 07:47:57 am
I got my first "He's fallen off the back, love!" yesterday. 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 14, 2014, 06:18:17 pm
"G'wan luv!" From a man using the sportsball supporter voice.

And again today, from a year 9 on a BMX, in a somewhat squeakier version of the sportsball voice.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on July 17, 2014, 03:55:58 pm
Started getting shouted at by a wee drunk man cycling home yesterday evening.  Was about to put on the 'ignore mode' when it became a coherent 'You alright big guy?" accompanied by a thumbs up and a big smile.


So I responded with a thumbs up and cheery halloo myself.


A nice refreshing change from the twunts you usually get.  :-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 07, 2014, 11:44:08 pm
"What's the matter, couldn't decide if you wanted a bike or a car?"

I checked, and I haven't accidentally bought a velomobile.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Auntie Helen on August 08, 2014, 06:41:34 am
That would be a fun accident though!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 08, 2014, 12:02:41 pm
Until I tried to park it somewhere, anyway...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on August 15, 2014, 06:16:38 pm
Last two days...

In an ASL, me to a motorcyclist. "Funny looking bicycle"
Them:  usual strangled nonsense,
Me: "Pardon?
[Switches engine off and hauls helmet chinpiece down] I've got a bike as well! This is a bike! I'm not stupid!
Me: No, just illegal.

Lights change. They can't get their bike started again.... I head off, and like an idiot turn left for Tesco instead of going straight on to GP.

Today, getting some air, passing wide of the first of two badly sunken manhole covers. BEEEEEP!
I point sharply down at the next pit in the road, and of course he overtakes and gets level with me for a shout.
"Get your fucking yellow jacket on!"

I am unsure as to whether he thinks Hi-Viz is compulsory, or if he was suggesting I start on road repairs. Either way, I fell into simplicity with a "Fuck off you wanker".

GY12CCC.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Deano on August 15, 2014, 09:44:25 pm
"What the fuck is that?!" while I was riding out of the town centre.

I think it was cos I was carrying a frame over my shoulder, but the free tequila shot probably made my balance a bit wobbly too.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Guy on August 18, 2014, 10:04:52 am
Not an oik but a little girl on a scooter as I was bimbling to the pub on Saturday. "Mummy, LOOK! HAIRY KNEES!" ;D

Mummy looked embarassed but I just grinned
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on August 21, 2014, 07:21:45 pm
Not really oiks, not really shouted and not actually at me.
As we passed a middle aged couple on the recent Jogler ride, I was just behind Kim and so was in perfect position to overhear the comment "She should have brought a blanket out with that one."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 21, 2014, 07:57:28 pm
Not really oiks, not really shouted and not actually at me.
As we passed a middle aged couple on the recent Jogler ride, I was just behind Kim and so was in perfect position to overhear the comment "She should have brought a blanket out with that one."

I keep a space blanket in the Carradice for just that eventuality...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: canny colin on August 27, 2014, 10:57:49 pm
 Nice legs shame about the face from a lady on a galloper ( racehorse ) , Complete with cockney accent .Twenty years !!! no   make that thirty five years out of date up in  Hexham shire.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 27, 2014, 11:21:29 pm
Quote
Mum, I want one of *those*!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on August 28, 2014, 07:23:58 am
What?  They wanted a Kim?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on August 28, 2014, 12:55:07 pm
On the trike I get a lot of

"Can I have a go on that*"

*I don't think they mean me
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 28, 2014, 01:07:02 pm
What?  They wanted a Kim?

I'm fairly sure that rower40 has prior art on that joke.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on August 31, 2014, 11:18:33 pm
"My what toned thighs you have" shouted the blonde lady leaning from the window of an Audi on the A24 near Ryka's.  Actually it might have been "get on the fucking path" but a combination of Doppler induced distortion and bangin choons in my headphones rendered her incomprehensible.  Still, it was a lovely day.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 21, 2014, 05:29:51 pm
"That's the smallest caravan I've ever seen!" As I was struggling into the wind with the trailer (with large white box on it).  It made me giggle.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: matthew on December 01, 2014, 05:30:25 pm
Last Night:

"You should have a bell"

From the little kid on a scooter who veered into my path.

The problem was I had called out good evening, seen him look round and move to the side, so assumed he had seen me. In practise he thought the other cyclist just in front of me had called out and not seen me...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 01, 2014, 05:37:56 pm
From the midst of a group of old men (presumably) rekindling their misspent yoof by loitering onna cyclepath:

"'ello Mary!  Look, it's Mary Poppins coming at us..."

I can see how they got there - the black Brompton with a bag on the front concealing all the wobbly wheel business might appear to glide in the afore-mentioned manner, but I had neglected to bring a brolly.  Or a hat.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dibdib on December 01, 2014, 10:46:54 pm
Well they were in the bag, surely, along with the hat-stand that they belong on?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 06, 2014, 06:55:35 pm
Oik1 to Oik2: "That's electric."
Me: "No it isn't!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nicknack on December 06, 2014, 07:27:59 pm
I got that some years ago from a chap on a Catrike as I passed him on my super heavy Dutch bike (powered by legs) going uphill.

To be passed by me must have been terribly embarrassing for him.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 06, 2014, 07:33:11 pm
I was going uphill, but at about 2mph on approach to some red lights.  I assume that either the gears-inna-can (with associated whirring noises) or - with hindsight - the Capreo hub dynamo, looked enough like a hub motor from a distance.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nicknack on December 06, 2014, 07:40:46 pm
Yes, it was probably the hub dynamo and roller brakes that fooled this chap. It has to be said, he wasn't exactly speeding.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 06, 2014, 08:16:25 pm
Back in the summer I explained to someone that Depravo the Roadrat has a hub dynamo and disc brake.  He promptly glorified the back with too much tech: "'ere, Ricky, 'e's got KERS on 'is bike like wot they 'as on Formurlur Wun cars innit"!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on December 16, 2014, 09:22:48 am
"Your rear light"
I look at light. Seems normal. Attached to bike. Turned on. Look enquiringly at pedestrian.
"It's flashing!".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wascally Weasel on December 22, 2014, 01:55:52 pm
"Your rear light"
I look at light. Seems normal. Attached to bike. Turned on. Look enquiringly at pedestrian.
"It's flashing!".

"It's an idiot detector.  I've got it set on proximity alert".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: cygnet on January 02, 2015, 07:30:26 pm
"Your rear light"
I look at light. Seems normal. Attached to bike. Turned on. Look enquiringly at pedestrian.
"It's flashing!".

OTOH, I've been (politely) informed that my back light was broken because it wasn't flashing (it was on though)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mcshroom on January 02, 2015, 07:43:15 pm
Old bloke outside Silloth Coop this afternoon when I was sat on the floor next to my bike eating a sandwich.

"You'll get piles sitting like that!" ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on January 02, 2015, 08:17:06 pm
I lived in Abbeytown for a couple of years, when I taught in Wigton.  Often used to visit friends in Silloth - I might know him!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on January 03, 2015, 05:47:05 pm
Old bloke outside Silloth Coop this afternoon when I was sat on the floor next to my bike eating a sandwich.

"You'll get piles sitting like that!" ???

Don't know why you're surprised, this is common wisdom. Sitting on cold walls (or ground) gives you piles. Didn't your nan tell you that when you were a lad?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on January 03, 2015, 05:56:51 pm
Don't know why you're surprised, this is common wisdom. Sitting on cold walls (or ground) gives you piles. Didn't your nan tell you that when you were a lad?

Quite.

The conversation usually went something like:

Nan: "Don't sit like that, you'll get piles."

Small child: "What's piles?"

Nan: "Oh never mind that, but you don't want them."

Small child:  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 03, 2015, 06:45:40 pm
I've just caught up with this thread, accidentally, from #796 on. To my surprise, almost every post has made me laugh.
 ;D  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Auntie Helen on January 03, 2015, 10:50:31 pm
Old bloke outside Silloth Coop this afternoon when I was sat on the floor next to my bike eating a sandwich.

"You'll get piles sitting like that!" ???

Don't know why you're surprised, this is common wisdom. Sitting on cold walls (or ground) gives you piles. Didn't your nan tell you that when you were a lad?
I was told sitting on a hot radiator would give me piles.

I just had a lift from a friend in his car and the heated seat was set to 3. I turned it down to 1 to avoid piles.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: quixoticgeek on January 12, 2015, 03:00:37 pm

Hope the thread necromancy is ok.

Not so much shouted at by an oik, but as I was cycling along NCR1 in Canterbury, I slowed down to take a 90 degree bend onto a road, there were two chavs on the corner, that I was trying to avoid, but because of them, I had to slow down more than I would like to. As I passed, one of them reached out and grabbed my hair. Not exactly a hard target, it's 30" long. I screeched to a halt 20 yards up the road, and dialled 999. Reporting an assault. Plod came out and actually arrested the oiks. Alas, I wasn't able to say for certain which of the two had grabbed my hair (common assault), so the charge wasn't able to stick. However, seeing as they had things they shouldn't have in their pockets, combined with some previous experience of the criminal justice system, they still got nicked. Complete morons. Alas it does make me twitchy when passing groups, and I've ended up avoiding that bit of NCR1 since :(

Julia

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on January 12, 2015, 03:30:44 pm
Thread resurrection is always OK!

Your tale brings up questions about desirability/suitability of 'NCN' for sole/vulnerable/female  any travellers
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dibdib on January 12, 2015, 05:58:32 pm
Thread resurrection is always OK!

Your tale brings up questions about desirability/suitability of 'NCN' for sole/vulnerable/female  any travellers

Absolutely. While I'm usually happy to use the NCN (and other) cycle paths around Swindon, and they're usually well-lit, there are bits I still avoid after dark (especially Friday nights). Frankly I'd prefer to rough it on the main roads than risk getting jumped half-way down a path with no escape routes.

Sadly one stretch in particular seems to keep appearing in the local news, for rather tragic reasons :(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on January 20, 2015, 09:03:53 pm
Oik1 to Oik2: "That bike's bloody low..."
Oik2 to the world in general: "THAT BIKE'S BLOODY LOW!"

I was of course riding the...

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on January 20, 2015, 10:03:57 pm
Hmm.  How low can you get?   :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on January 22, 2015, 02:23:22 pm
Depends on how tight the seatpost qr is.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on January 22, 2015, 02:32:07 pm
Depends on how tight the seatpost qr is.

And whether you've applied IPA[1] to the seatpost recently.


[1] This is one of those rare cases where either kind should have the desired effect.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on January 25, 2015, 01:16:08 pm
Yesterday, on the Tannenbaum1, as usual, a better class of call out.
Dereham, normal for Norfolk
Quote
That's the sickest bike I've evah seen mate! Can you take me for a ride!

Attleborough. Youths near the station.
Quote
Daddy daddy daddy! Mummy Mummy! Daddy daddy daddy!
I don't even.


1:autocorrect ftw.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on January 25, 2015, 01:24:07 pm
Everybody loves a Tannenbaum  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tigerbiten on February 01, 2015, 06:35:12 pm
Wasn't an oik, just another cyclist.
Slogging into the wind today on my bent trike and was passed by two cyclists on upwrongs.
In passing one of them said to me "At least your aerodynamic".
I patted my stomach and took it as a complement ...........   :P
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on March 03, 2015, 10:42:34 am
Quote from: A. N. Other Random Ped
ON-ONE POMPINO! BEST BIKE IN THE WORLD!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on March 21, 2015, 12:05:24 am
Quote from: A. N. Other random sprog
Marmite jacket!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: matthew on March 24, 2015, 10:45:36 pm
"Bloody Cyclists" from the passing Fiat Punto on leaving the rehearsal this evening.


Thanks Rob.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si_Co on March 25, 2015, 09:03:27 am
Young lad in Moss Side "Nice bike...wanna sell it?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: handcyclist on March 25, 2015, 06:26:28 pm
'GET ON THE CYCLE PATH YOU PRAT'

Nothing unusual there - oh, except

It was 8.45 am on a Sunday.
The road was wide, two way and quiet.

and, to cap it all off,

He wasn't even driving in the same direction as we were riding.

Actually I was on a charity ride with 500 odd riders, he might have spent the rest of the day shouting ......  ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Piemaster on March 30, 2015, 05:30:22 pm
Oik walking in opposite direction "Oi mate. Your bike's shit.'
..err..thanks for your thoughts. Ok,it's a mere Voodoo Hoodoo, but it ain't that bad.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 30, 2015, 05:32:58 pm
"Where's your bike from?"  Amongst other incoherent shouts from a pair of middle-aged pavement cyclists, as I slow-motion dropped them at an awesome 8mph uphill.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on April 04, 2015, 07:57:51 pm
"I like that. What a beauty"

And then wolf whistle.

From a youth in traffic as we coasted up the bus lane.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 04, 2015, 08:05:48 pm
"Gwan yer nutter!" in full football voice from the driver of a waiting car as I heroically rounded a corner at about 5mph.

Also "[inaudible] darling." from a passing van.  I doubt it was a Blackadder quote.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 09, 2015, 08:07:36 pm
"G'wan girl!" In the football voice.  Again.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: paul851 on April 11, 2015, 09:49:39 am
"Tour de Halifax" as the Calderdale ctc Thursday ride went past the Barum top Inn  ;D

Paul
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on April 11, 2015, 02:17:25 pm
Some sprog shouted something about Bradley Wiggins at me yesterday.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Oaky on April 13, 2015, 01:37:23 am
Some sprog shouted something about Bradley Wiggins at me yesterday.

If anybody shouted anything about Bradley Wiggins at me yesterday it would have to be because they had some strange neurological condition where they were unable to recognise anybody's facial features apart from their beards.  (I would guess "pogonagnosia" but i think that would be the opposite of the thing I'm describing)

The one thing that was shouted at me and a few others (on an Audax on Saturday) by one amongst a bunch of youthful oiks on scooters was "I don't know where you're going".  Which lead to me thinking "No, you don't", and a little later "... and you wouldn't believe us if we told you!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 13, 2015, 02:37:35 pm
Some sprog shouted something about Bradley Wiggins at me yesterday.

If anybody shouted anything about Bradley Wiggins at me yesterday it would have to be because they had some strange neurological condition where they were unable to recognise anybody's facial features apart from their beards.  (I would guess "pogonagnosia" but i think that would be the opposite of the thing I'm describing)

Beard-based recognition must be pretty common for people with prosopagnosia, I'd have thought.  I'm not properly prosopagnosic, but I'm lazy and primarily recognise people by their hair, which is why I can't follow films about men in suits, and struggle when the middle aged men in lycra turn up on a different bike to last time, or remove a jacket halfway through a ride.

But it doesn't actually work as an explanation, because to a prosopagnosic everyone who looks a bit like a werewolf could be Bradley Wiggins.  The last thing they're going to do is shout names at them, just make awkward conversation in the hope that they happen to mention dating Willow, adamantium, an impressive track cycling career or whatever and can go from there.  Which doesn't work all that well at the roadside.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on April 13, 2015, 03:18:45 pm
The last thing they're going to do is shout names at them, just make awkward conversation in the hope that they happen to mention dating Willow, adamantium, an impressive track cycling career or whatever and can go from there.  Which doesn't work all that well at the roadside.

Why would someone with a beard get romantically involved with my cat?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 13, 2015, 03:19:51 pm
I think you'd better ask the cat...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rogerdodge on April 20, 2015, 10:33:21 am
Yesterday, and last week on Sunday rides "Where's your helmet?"
 I've never had that before, is there something going on?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on April 20, 2015, 10:54:24 am
Stock answer: on the end of my dick.

This doesn't work very well if you are a Lady, obv.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on April 20, 2015, 11:14:46 am
Yesterday, and last week on Sunday rides "Where's your helmet?"
 I've never had that before, is there something going on?
I had two separate groups of children shouting that at me when I came down off Oxenhope Moor straight after the TdF last year. Never had it before or since (except from a couple of knob-end drivers of course).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Deano on April 21, 2015, 09:28:23 pm
"Mint bike, that!"

I was on the Surly 1x1. Can't really argue ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: D.A.L.E. on April 21, 2015, 10:03:19 pm
"Mint bike, that!"

I was on the Surly 1x1. Can't really argue ;D

I got a 'Nyoooowwwwww' tonight.

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: gibbo on April 24, 2015, 05:17:48 pm
I actually had the "oi mate, you're wheel's going round!" just as we were leaving the pub last weekend. I so wanted to reply something along the lines of "so's your mother" but he looked a bit pissed so I just smiled at him as he laughed at his own joke.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on April 25, 2015, 09:01:29 am
Yesterday, and last week on Sunday rides "Where's your helmet?"
 I've never had that before, is there something going on?
I had two separate groups of children shouting that at me when I came down off Oxenhope Moor

Did you use Mr Larrington's reply?!?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tiermat on April 25, 2015, 09:42:07 am
On Thursday night, I got "get her 'at on" from a Lycra lout on a baked soot bike. I took this as meaning magic 'at.

He was just wearing a cotton cap on his head.

As was I.

I was confused.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on April 25, 2015, 01:28:42 pm
Yesterday, and last week on Sunday rides "Where's your helmet?"
 I've never had that before, is there something going on?
I had two separate groups of children shouting that at me when I came down off Oxenhope Moor

Did you use Mr Larrington's reply?!?
:-)

If only ...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Riggers on April 27, 2015, 09:24:55 am
This oik was a bloke-on-a-bike. I won't give him the title of cyclist, because he doesn't deserve that honour.

Having stopped near Berwick yesterday morning, on a drizzly minor road, to specifically photograph some terrible potholes I knew would 'still be there' (bless East Sussex CC), I thought I'd photograph little Bradley in one of them (Instagram: @mr.rigs if anyone's interested), and noticed this chap approaching me. I'd just got my phone out and as he cycled past I said "Morning" to him, and his reply was: "Put your fucking phone away!"

I replied: "I'm photographing potholes!" And as I was so incensed by his outrageous and wholly unwarranted outburst at me, concluded with: "You fucking knob head!" and "Nutter!" That seemed the most appropriate recourse (apart from chasing him on the bike that is). Seemed the best way to deal with him… like with like.

He cycled down the road, mumbling and ranting, interjected with a few effing and jeffings. You think to yourself: "Why, in all this world, does my life have to cross paths with some lunatic like this?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Vince on April 27, 2015, 11:04:37 am
Netwrok Rail employee at Liverpool Street on Friday: "Nice bike". :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: arabella on April 28, 2015, 10:40:03 pm
car driver, to me, after mini rounabout
"why don't you indicate"
 ??? that would be because I was going straight on

I've come to the conclusion that the part of my commute I least enjoy is the occasional so&so who takes it upon themself to advise (ha ha) me to "use the cycle path".  Should I ever get the chance to reply I will thank them for their recommendation but decline on the basis they aren't doing so themself.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wobbly John on April 28, 2015, 10:50:51 pm
Yesterday, and last week on Sunday rides "Where's your helmet?"

A woman in our village used to shout that at me.

I would assume it was a variation on the 'Nuns in the bath' joke and reply:

"Yes, it probably does."  :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: D.A.L.E. on April 29, 2015, 09:24:38 am
Yesterday, and last week on Sunday rides "Where's your helmet?"

A woman in our village used to shout that at me.

I would assume it was a variation on the 'Nuns in the bath' joke and reply:

"Yes, it probably does."  :demon:

 ;D Using that.

I got a rather vitriolic 'go get a helmet' from someone the other day, my response was somewhat less prosaic.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 29, 2015, 12:49:57 pm
My standard response (you have to have standard responses, in order to appear actually witty, rather than only with hindsight) to "get a helmet" is "get a bicycle".  In the rare event that it's actually coming from a cyclist, there's usually some other unwarranted safety advice that can be substituted.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on April 29, 2015, 04:39:12 pm
I am reminded we got shouted at by an oik who was a berk on a bike - a courier, in fact, who should have known better.

Aaaaanyway, we were riding up Buckingham Palace Road, approaching the divergence of the Bus (only) Lane, and the western side of Grosvenor Gardens.  We were in the right hand lane, as we were going to dismount at the Bus Lane.  A van came speeding up behind us, and beeped at us impatiently.  The berk started shouting at us to get into the left hand lane, and we told him that was wrong.  He got quite aeriated about it.  The van driver shouted at us, emboldened by the berk's exhortations, saying even a cyclist knew we should get out of the way.

Gee. 

Thanks.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on April 29, 2015, 05:23:43 pm
Yesterday, and last week on Sunday rides "Where's your helmet?"

A woman in our village used to shout that at me.

I would assume it was a variation on the 'Nuns in the bath' joke and reply:

"Yes, it probably does."  :demon:

 ;D Using that.

I got a rather vitriolic 'go get a helmet' from someone the other day, my response was somewhat less prosaic.

I have been know to respond with, coupled with a look of worried surprise,  ???  :o
"What?  You want to see my purple shiny helmet?"

Akchurly, the last and only time I owned a cycle helmet, it was purple and of course shiny.  :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: madcow on May 17, 2015, 10:30:25 pm
Man outside pub as Mrs.M cycles past-"Oi, Paula Radcliffe"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on May 18, 2015, 05:14:02 pm
Ooh, forgot about this thread, I got a corker on the Old Roads 300 a couple of weeks back.


Cycling through a small village towards Cheddar there was a playground with some tallish trees covering a hidden young lady presumably on a climbing frame as I heard a voice from well above me shout…


'The more you pedal, the wetter I get!"
 :jurek:


I moved on without comment - as I didn't give her the attention she wanted (ahem) it sadly transmogrified into…


"WHAARUGGGARRRHHH!'


But the originality of the first comment will stay with me for a while although I expect it wasn't really true ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on May 18, 2015, 10:32:17 pm
Are you sure you weren't just cycling through a deep puddle?  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 04, 2015, 05:42:09 pm
"Spastic!"

"Wuourggahorgh darlin'!"

"Get off the fucking road!"

"Get a car, you cunt!"


News just in:  The van drivers have their windows open.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on June 04, 2015, 06:02:06 pm
Not a great day then, Kim?   :(

The windows being open just get me more Seth Armstrong (http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Seth+Armstrong&oq=Seth+Armstrong&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l3.2757j0j4&client=tablet-android-google&sourceid=chrome-mobile&espvd=1&ie=UTF-8&gws_rd=ssl&safe=strict&norc=1&zx=1433437186172&safe=strict) shouts.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on June 04, 2015, 06:04:32 pm
Funny how the C word is almost a perfect description of those that like to use it a lot huh?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 04, 2015, 06:05:16 pm
Not a great day then, Kim?   :(

It's okay, they were outnumbered by positive shouts, thumbs-ups and so on from non-van-drivers.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pancho on June 05, 2015, 01:37:06 pm
"Spastic!"

That's rather retro.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 05, 2015, 02:26:07 pm
"Spastic!"

That's rather retro.

Fairly standard recumbent-specific abuse.  I'd rather that than "DLA!" (which I've only had the once, thankfully), which conveys a whole other level of nastiness.

(I'm assuming they're inferring that funny bike means a disabled rider who might not be aware that they have a disability, so would benefit from having it pointed out - rather than using 'spastic' as a generic term of abuse, which would indeed be retro.)

It goes both ways of course.  Sometimes people tell you you're cripspirational...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on June 05, 2015, 02:28:57 pm
DLA ?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on June 05, 2015, 02:29:52 pm
Not a great day then, Kim?   :(

The windows being open just get me more Seth Armstrong (http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Seth+Armstrong&oq=Seth+Armstrong&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l3.2757j0j4&client=tablet-android-google&sourceid=chrome-mobile&espvd=1&ie=UTF-8&gws_rd=ssl&safe=strict&norc=1&zx=1433437186172&safe=strict) shouts.
Quite appropriate, really, Basil. I have never seen the programme in question so I had no idea who Seth Armstrong was. I reckon your similarity to said character is as least as strong as mine to santa.

Oh, I got some santa banta from a Dutch (I think) oik in Calais the other day whilst we were waiting for our train. "Santa klaas!" was the pronunciation.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on June 05, 2015, 02:30:16 pm
DLA ?

My guess is Disability Living Allowance.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: lisat on June 05, 2015, 02:33:44 pm
"Keep pedalling fattie."  Summer has arrived with spotty youths trying to impress their mates with witticisms as they drive round town in 10 year old citroen saxo

Hey ho.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 05, 2015, 02:34:37 pm
DLA ?

My guess is Disability Living Allowance.

Indeed.  Certain parts of society like to nounify it in the style of 'gay' as a term for disabled people.  As in "We had to wait because the lift was full of DLAs".

See also: "scoper".

I wonder if we'll see it replaced with PIP...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on June 05, 2015, 02:42:19 pm
Not a great day then, Kim?   :(

The windows being open just get me more Seth Armstrong (http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Seth+Armstrong&oq=Seth+Armstrong&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l3.2757j0j4&client=tablet-android-google&sourceid=chrome-mobile&espvd=1&ie=UTF-8&gws_rd=ssl&safe=strict&norc=1&zx=1433437186172&safe=strict) shouts.
Quite appropriate, really, Basil. I have never seen the programme in question so I had no idea who Seth Armstrong was. I reckon your similarity to said character is as least as strong as mine to santa.


Me neither at first.  When it started many years ago I used to think "Why are they calling Lance Seth?"  Eventually I googled it.
I think he's dead now, or the actor died, or something, but the shouts still continue.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on June 05, 2015, 02:45:42 pm
On the other side of the shouting coin, we had a fabulous heckle from a lass on a BMX (~10yo?) as we whupped her candy ass riding through Swinefleet on our way to the turn at Goole on the Flatlands the other week. She was racing/chasing with others down the street, turned at the sound of my bell, and with horror on her face shouted after us....

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: PaulF on June 05, 2015, 02:46:08 pm
I had my first "You should get a car" shout from a Saxo at the weekend.

Kind of a rite of passage :-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on June 05, 2015, 03:50:07 pm
"Spastic!"

That's rather retro.

Fairly standard recumbent-specific abuse.  I'd rather that than "DLA!" (which I've only had the once, thankfully), which conveys a whole other level of nastiness.

(I'm assuming they're inferring that funny bike means a disabled rider who might not be aware that they have a disability, so would benefit from having it pointed out - rather than using 'spastic' as a generic term of abuse, which would indeed be retro.)

It goes both ways of course.  Sometimes people tell you you're cripspirational...

I once had "'ere, it's that funny wheelchair again!" from some cheery East End urchins once.  Seeing as it was clearly my legs doing the moving Stuffs I can only conclude that the average East End urchin is A Bit Thick.

I also had a chant of "Special Needs, Special Needs, Special Needs!" before an audax, but that was from Patrick Field so didn't count.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: The French Tandem on June 05, 2015, 04:09:54 pm
"Get a car, you cunt!"

My reply: Get a bicycle!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 05, 2015, 04:26:22 pm
"Get a car, you cunt!"

My reply: Get a bicycle!

Funny you should mention that...

(Don't think he heard me though.)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on June 05, 2015, 04:34:16 pm
I had my first "You should get a car" shout from a Saxo at the weekend.

response to Saxo driver- "So should you!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on June 05, 2015, 06:08:13 pm
DLA ?

My guess is Disability Living Allowance.

Indeed.  Certain parts of society like to nounify it in the style of 'gay' as a term for disabled people.  As in "We had to wait because the lift was full of DLAs".

See also: "scoper".

I wonder if we'll see it replaced with PIP...

If they shout DLA, shout back DVLA.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: PaulF on June 05, 2015, 10:42:30 pm
I had my first "You should get a car" shout from a Saxo at the weekend.

response to Saxo driver- "So should you!"

:)

Given that he turned into a cul de sac in my village I should be able to re-use that !
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Bairdy on June 05, 2015, 11:14:32 pm
A couple of years ago riding along a lane towards the end of The January Sale 200 myself and Bikey Mikey had a Knackered old Ford Ka pull alongside us with some hill billy leaning out of the passenger window holding a can of Stella who shouted "Why don't you get a fucking car?" The car was alongside us and driving at our speed.
Mikey looked the guy in the eye and said. "I've got a Lotus in my garage you Twat".  ;D

Hill Billy Boy looked gutted.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on June 06, 2015, 02:53:25 pm
Audax o'clock in Dewsbury; iddu and I are looking forward to a nice cup of tea after the east coast leg of the 3 Coasts 2006. We are both three-wheeling inna-darkside-stylee.  Bloke leans out of the rear passenger window of a passing motor-car and shouts:

Quote from: Wet Yorks' Answer To $COMEDIAN

Abuse!  Abuse!


I laughed like the time the Gestapo came for Eamonn Holmes.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pancho on June 12, 2015, 03:14:41 pm
Yesterday, on the commute thread, I posted of a noisy oik in a motorcar who squealed at me as he passed by and into the distance. It irritated me for a while, as these things do - and I retold the tale here almost as a weak and dilute imitation of bloody revenge. Of course, keyboard work just isn't sufficiently visceral - unlike, say, a proper disemboweling so I continued to be irritated.

But I remembered. I don't like dwelling on, or retelling horrors of the road as I have a fear that naming the demon might make it real. It happened to me - and I spent too long out of the saddle because I confused fear with reality.

To balance the karmic universe - or, at least that bit of it which is my stretch of NCN Route 2, I need to post something positive yet related. And that's easy to do - it occurred to me that I get called to by someone on the street at least twice most days. The shouts are "Morning!", or "Fantastic weather, isn't it?", etc. There's usually a bloke or two fishing or walking their dogs along the sea wall who'll swap acknowledgements or helloes. Or I see a fellow bikie who I know - or just one who greets fellows of the road.

So not everyone who shouts stuff at cyclists is a bad 'un.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on June 12, 2015, 03:19:37 pm
A couple of years ago riding along a lane towards the end of The January Sale 200 myself and Bikey Mikey had a Knackered old Ford Ka pull alongside us with some hill billy leaning out of the passenger window holding a can of Stella who shouted "Why don't you get a fucking car?" The car was alongside us and driving at our speed.
Mikey looked the guy in the eye and said. "I've got a Lotus in my garage you Twat".  ;D

Hill Billy Boy looked gutted.


Class!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Guy on June 30, 2015, 08:20:43 am
Just turning into my gate at 10 pm last Friday the passenger of a passing car shouted "NYARLOTHEP-TICK!" Well, that's what it sounded like.

I just dismissed it as one of those random things a moron will do to try and validate its sad pointless existence.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on June 30, 2015, 10:40:45 am
Sounds ancient Egyptian, didn't he build one of the pyramids?  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 30, 2015, 11:43:45 am
On Saturday, just coming into the village/collection of houses called Whitfield on the A38, I heard a rapid "beep beep" from behind me – followed by not abuse nor close pass but a wide pass and a friendly wave out of the passenger window. I've no idea if it was someone who thought they recognised me or maybe even someone I actually do know but didn't recognise or... who.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: CrinklyLion on July 03, 2015, 07:49:28 am
A not-an-oik shout.

Riding a stokerless tandem along a residential street on my way to school a week or so back, a small child pointed and called out 'That's Computer Kat!'.  Now this, in and of itself, isn't all that unusual as I often ride through bits of town inhabited by Smalls that I encounter at work and that is the name I'm known as to many - there's actually a cartoon picture of me on the wall in one classroom, thus captioned.

I did a bit of a double take though, since on this occasion the Small in question wasn't in school uniform and didn't look old enough (by quite some margin) to be at school.  All became clear moments later when they were joined on the doorstep by a be-uniformed slightly larger Small - I'm guessing at the first being a younger sibling, and my reputation preceding me....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on July 13, 2015, 12:20:02 am
Yesterday, in Margate, from a pedestrian:

"Blimey, mate, you've caused a massive tailback! Slow down a bit more!"

I quite enjoyed that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on July 13, 2015, 10:02:34 am
A brace of charming lager-swigging young ladies on their balcony as I waited for an oncoming car to pass:

"Why don't you get a fucking car?"

'Why good maidens, I do in fact have a car." (OK I didn't say that since they weren't fair and were definitely knocked out in the early qualifying heats for being maidens.)

"Orrgghhhrrrgggg."

I've no idea. I think their brains succumbed to the lager and that was the sound of their remaining neurones drowning.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bikey-mikey on July 16, 2015, 11:45:11 pm
I had a greeting of "waaannnkkkaaa" from the passenger window of a car doing much the same speed as me..

I pointed at my chest and yelled "Miiiiiikkkkeeeeyyyy". "Pleased ta meet yer !!"

I'm not sure if he actually got it, but I got it, which was enough....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Katie on July 17, 2015, 03:58:23 pm
Some muppet yelled "STOP!" at me t'other day, and laughed hysterically when I actually braked (and collided crotch-to-head-tube in a quite painful way).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: D.A.L.E. on July 19, 2015, 10:49:36 pm
I got my backside squeezed and a 'nice arse!' last night. Does that count?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 19, 2015, 11:24:43 pm
Not really shouting, and not necessarly an oik, but I completely forgot to post about the motorbikist who overtook me on the first section of Wowbagger's Folly (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=90518.msg1882248#msg1882248), took his feet off the pegs and made pedalling motions as he rode off.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Katie on July 22, 2015, 10:53:15 pm
"YOU EAT TOO MUCH ICE CREAM!" today.

Presumably related to Ben & Jerry's jersey (which is a size medium, and too big...)

*scratches head*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si_Co on July 23, 2015, 06:47:17 am
'ARuuurggaah garrrrr DRUGS'

Not sure if it's do with the Tdf or enterprise promotion. Given that it was down a path to a footbridge over the ship canal, a favourite hangout of baby drug dealers* on PTW's, it's a 50/50 bet

*someone'e going to have to call the UN over the war on drugs, both sides seem to be using child soldiers.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Butterfly on July 23, 2015, 09:18:19 am
I went out on the Helios with 2 child seats but only one baby. Group of lads on bmx and bike type things (aged about 12):

'wow!'
'sick, sick bike'
'(various other positive kidspeak)'

Then a bit later I passed them and an additional couple -

'there's that sick bike I told you about'
'sick...sick'!

So I think that was good then. Possibly.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 23, 2015, 09:40:51 am
that's sick, butterfly
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 23, 2015, 01:52:10 pm
Yeah, but mine's still "sick as fuck!"   :P
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on July 23, 2015, 01:58:17 pm
Yeah, but mine's still "sick as fuck!"   :P

<Scene: Benson, an American TV programme from back in the day>
"That's a bad shirt"
"Bad?"
"Bad is good"
"Ah yes. It's quite the worst I've ever seen"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 23, 2015, 02:00:26 pm
Yebbut the Helios with two child seats is beast!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Morat on July 23, 2015, 02:16:24 pm
Tandems attract a lot of comment, and some fun misconceptions when it's an all male team. So far we've been taken for Father/Son (I liked that one), Gay Couple, Brothers, and obvious lunatics. I've started answering oblique questions about marriage with "Yes, we're married - to our wives" and varying  the length of the pause in the middle just to see people's faces change :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on July 23, 2015, 10:09:58 pm
Tandems attract a lot of comment, and some fun misconceptions when it's an all male team. So far we've been taken for Father/Son (I liked that one), Gay Couple, Brothers, and obvious lunatics. I've started answering oblique questions about marriage with "Yes, we're married - to our wives" and varying  the length of the pause in the middle just to see people's faces change :)

You are Julian andor Sandy and ICMFP.  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Butterfly on July 23, 2015, 11:21:40 pm
Tandems attract a lot of comment, and some fun misconceptions when it's an all male team. So far we've been taken for Father/Son (I liked that one), Gay Couple, Brothers, and obvious lunatics. I've started answering oblique questions about marriage with "Yes, we're married - to our wives" and varying  the length of the pause in the middle just to see people's faces change :)

My all time favourite heckle was a long indrawn breath, followed by 'LESBIANS!' when NSTN (who is a young lady) was stoking the Helios  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 23, 2015, 11:28:20 pm
It used to be that I'd get people shouting "LESBIANS!" at me just for walking down the street on my own.  Doesn't seem to happen any more.  Not sure if it's because I'm older, walk a lot less, the oiks have been to the optician or just because I don't live in Canterbury...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Butterfly on July 23, 2015, 11:31:32 pm
Probably the not living in Canterbury. The youth of East Kent certainly had a tendency to use the word a lot when I was growing up there.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pancho on July 24, 2015, 01:23:08 pm
"Nice splash-deck, sir! of my poncho from a gate-person this morning.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on July 25, 2015, 07:18:56 pm
I went out for a 100 k 'perm'* today, got out of the garage, set off and thought 'no helmet - ah fekkit'


Lo and behold I got a shout of 'where's your helmet?' with full on hand on forehead slapping- yeah I think I know what part of the anatomy a lid goes on  ::-)   I wouldn't mind so much but this came from another cyclist going in the opposite direction  ???   Sadly I was too busy waving halloo before it occurred so could only complete this manoever before he was gone.  Otherwise my response would have been less friendly.  :P







* route checking really, not a perm as I bought no brevet card.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Canardly on July 25, 2015, 07:25:36 pm
"Nice splash-deck, sir! of my poncho from a gate-person this morning.

Sounds as if it will be a poncho day tomorrow!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on July 25, 2015, 07:37:04 pm
A Pancho-Poncho no less  8)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 05, 2015, 04:59:01 pm
Oik: "G'waaaaaaan!" (in the football voice)
Oik's mate: "I bet your husband loves you!"


Completely different oik, some miles later: "It's the Olympics!"


Assorted teenagers (female): "Woo!" "Go girl!" "I want one!"


Random car driver:  *beep* *beep*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on August 06, 2015, 10:14:45 am
As I filtered past traffic after crossing Marlow Bridge last night, a family were crossing the road. The car I was about to pass (Volvo 4X4) gave way as did I, with me about 2 feet to the offside of the lane divider lines. 4 of 5 from the family crossed when a hatchback approached from the opposite direction. Family member 5 hesitated and the hatchback continued on it's path whilst the 4X4 and I waited for the pedestrian. As hatchback drew level with me the driver uttered "Get on the right side of the fucking road!". He then drove off without waiting to engage in conversation. 4X4 and I continued on our merry way after family member 5 had joined his group.

Hatchback driver- young male in a shirt and tie. Pwopper Nugget ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 06, 2015, 07:00:40 pm
Doppler-mashed from a passing motorist:

"OURRAGHORGH SILLY BOIK!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: D.A.L.E. on August 11, 2015, 09:17:07 am
"UURGHGRH You've got shorts on"

Last night in East Murton.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: TigaSefi on August 13, 2015, 10:40:34 am
I wish I wasn't deaf sometimes, I do wonder what people shout at me!! However the beeps I can hear!  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on August 13, 2015, 04:21:23 pm
We didn't have anything particularly special to report from last night's tandem potter. We usually get "Santa" from someone or other. No exception here, except the oik in question was so slow to come up with what he no doubt considered was a highly original witticism. We were at least 30 yards away and he was only just within earshot.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on August 14, 2015, 12:48:44 pm
Wednesday commute home.

A highish pitched "wooo" combined with the waving of a teddy bear at me. (Note: not a teddy bear waving).

I think an interesting documentary could be made.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: D.A.L.E. on August 16, 2015, 08:12:38 pm
'You're not going fast enough'

'Your mum said that too' 

 8)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Feanor on August 16, 2015, 08:38:35 pm
Non-oiks yesterday.

I was doing a local perm 300k, which went over the Lecht ( a big local hill ).
Just at the start of the long fast descent, there was a set of temporary traffic lights for road works , and I had to stop at the red light.
I heard a car pull up behind me, but didn't look back at it.
The lights changed, and I set off down the open side of the road, at high speed.
I was doing about 70kph, and the following car stayed well back.
It's a long descent, and after clearing the roadworks, the car finally passed carefully.

It was French-registered, and passed with a toot-toot, and a thumbs-up out of the driver's side ( nearest me ).

I was wearing my Audax Ecosse top at the time.
I wonder if the driver noticed the French reference there?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on August 16, 2015, 09:40:23 pm
Riding along the road that parallels the northern side,of the Ardèche Gorge I was encouraged to ride at R17 by a car full of enthusiastic Dutch types.  When you are worried that your front panniers are about to scrape the road, you are probably cornering too quickly for a fully-laden tourer.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Katie on August 21, 2015, 12:54:07 am
"The Tour de France is over luv!"

Given it was about 11pm and I'd just ticked over from 149km to 150km, I was quite proud of my response:

"I'm on the Vuelta mate, which way is Spain from here?"

Drunk people left speechless. Score.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: matthew on August 21, 2015, 01:04:15 am
 :thumbsup:  :thumbsup:  :thumbsup:

Brilliant answer.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Katie on August 21, 2015, 01:21:08 am
:thumbsup:  :thumbsup:  :thumbsup:

Brilliant answer.

I'm not very witty very often, and never spontaneously, so yeah, very chuffed with myself for that one.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nikki on August 21, 2015, 07:46:11 am
Doubly brilliant! Well done!  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wascally Weasel on September 01, 2015, 02:12:06 pm
This morning I got "You've got some legs on you girl" from a WVM at the lights on Chelsea Bridge.*

I turned my (bearded) face towards him and said "Thanks mate".

He looked confused.

ETA It does go to show that some men will shout stuff at anyone who they consider even vaguely resembles a woman (I don't think I particularly do but whevs)




*Technically a BVM as it was a blue van.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on September 01, 2015, 02:37:58 pm
This morning I got "You've got some legs on you girl" from a WVM at the lights on Chelsea Bridge.*

I turned my (bearded) face towards him and said "Thanks mate".

He looked confused.

ETA It does go to show that some men will shout stuff at anyone who they consider even vaguely resembles a woman (I don't think I particularly do but whevs)

*Technically a BVM as it was a blue van.

Typical!
Gets very wearing after a while.
Wascally presumably appears to be MALE many observers.
This 'attention' is a PITA to those who can't help looking female.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 01, 2015, 03:05:07 pm
This morning I got "You've got some legs on you girl" from a WVM at the lights on Chelsea Bridge.*

I got exactly that from a passing cyclist on the Grand Onion towpath somewhere in the vicinity of Digbeth last week.  Leg comments of that nature aren't remarkable, though given that at the time said legs were mostly concealed beneath a layer of mud there may have been a hint of irony involved.

Gendering cyclists from behind isn't an exact science, and the unreliability of cues such as long hair or the presence of PINK may be overlooked by a shouty person distracted by a particularly good arse.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wascally Weasel on September 01, 2015, 04:25:36 pm
This morning I got "You've got some legs on you girl" from a WVM at the lights on Chelsea Bridge.*

I turned my (bearded) face towards him and said "Thanks mate".

He looked confused.

ETA It does go to show that some men will shout stuff at anyone who they consider even vaguely resembles a woman (I don't think I particularly do but whevs)

*Technically a BVM as it was a blue van.

Typical!
Gets very wearing after a while.
Wascally presumably appears to be MALE many observers.
This 'attention' is a PITA to those who can't help looking female.

Oh sure, and I wasn't intending to be at all dismissive of that issue (my "Thanks mate" was very much said as sarcasm at the time).  I've got long hair and occasionally get various comments on and off the bike but I suspect at a much lower frequency to that which female cyclists get on or off the bike.  I further suspect I get a very different reaction if I ignore them.

I was thinking of starting a thread on it a while ago but didn't really know how to begin it.  I was thinking about it a lot when the Former Ms Weasel and I were out tandem training for Ride London earlier this year - people do speak to you much more when you're on a tandem (which is nice) and generally the response is friendly and positive but from time to time it's been quite patronising - in a way that I very rarely experience riding solo.

I got advised by some guy to slow down one year on the first climb of the Marmotte and the bloke apologised when he realised I was a bloke.  Pretty rubbish, especially in that he was dead wrong in that if I was overtaking him on that ride (at least that year) then he was going to be outside the finishing time.  I wasn't quite the Lanterne Rouge the times I did it but I wasn't far off it.

It's further reinforced my policy of not really making any comments at all other than a "Morning", "Hello", or "Do you need anything" to cyclists stopped by the roadside (I ask men and women).  I rarely comment on the riding behaviour of others, one of the few I offer is when people overtake me scarily close either on bikes or in cars and I shout "Too close!" by reflex now.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 01, 2015, 05:04:37 pm
I was thinking of starting a thread on it a while ago but didn't really know how to begin it.  I was thinking about it a lot when the Former Ms Weasel and I were out tandem training for Ride London earlier this year - people do speak to you much more when you're on a tandem (which is nice) and generally the response is friendly and positive but from time to time it's been quite patronising - in a way that I very rarely experience riding solo.

Darksiders get it too, of course.  Probably more so.  Most of the time it's curiosity, either from a non-cyclist "what's with the funny bike?" or a more informed "how do you find it on climbs?" perspective.  But every now and then you get someone patronising you about visibility or whatever.


Quote
It's further reinforced my policy of not really making any comments at all other than a "Morning", "Hello", or "Do you need anything" to cyclists stopped by the roadside (I ask men and women).  I rarely comment on the riding behaviour of others, one of the few I offer is when people overtake me scarily close either on bikes or in cars and I shout "Too close!" by reflex now.

+1 to all of this.  I'll start that sort of conversation with fellow unusual-bike-riders iff I'm actually on an unusual bike, maybe a word of encouragement to small children if it seems appropriate, but that's about it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Katie on September 01, 2015, 06:56:02 pm
Most conversation I utter on the bike usually is a nod to passing cyclists, a "you alright?"/"do you need anything?" to standing cyclists at the side of the road/path, or brief conversation with someone if they start it first (usually at traffic lights - tonight there was a brief few lines exchanged about the nose-to-tail traffic heading into Manchester at rush hour for no apparent reason.)

In other news, yelled at me when on the bike having cleared traffic: a yoof who smiled at me just before I passed before yelling "SHIT!" in my face.  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on September 01, 2015, 07:14:11 pm
Overtaking an oik is great fun, especially if you're riding an omafiets, riding uphill and wearing a floral skirt.  :demon: :demon: :smug: ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on September 01, 2015, 07:25:09 pm
Do I have to wear the floral skirt?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on September 01, 2015, 07:45:00 pm
Whereas you all seem to ask "do you need anything?", my call is " got everything you need?"

Erm, that's it.  No point being made.  In fact, I'm not sure why I bothered posting that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on September 01, 2015, 07:57:56 pm
No really shouting, but I cycled past a group of kids by the Thames, one of whom had a large catapult (in my misplaced youth they were called black widows and nothing good ever came of them). I give him the stare of the death which turned out not to be as good as I thought as thirty seconds later a stone predictably sails by my head.

So I turn around and we do the usual where teenage miscreant denies that it was him while his mates snigger. Seriously, it wasn't a fucking meteorite. So I grabbed the catapult out of his hand and flung it into the arms of Olde Father Thames.

Apparently I can't do that. I think he's always going to be playing mental catchup.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on September 01, 2015, 08:04:14 pm
Do I have to wear the floral skirt?

That would be fun! Ask HK to make you one; she might have some spare Liberty Tana Lawn I rehomed with her.
Otherwise, leave the job to her; she has a pink Brompton, n'est-ce pas?

The more POWER a feminine woman can plough past an oik, the better!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on September 02, 2015, 01:58:02 pm
Do I have to wear the floral skirt?

Yes.  Yes, you do.  And post pictures on the Internets.

Have you actually read your contract ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tiermat on September 02, 2015, 06:21:49 pm
I had a similar experience to WW, whilst approaching Matorell a couple of years ago. Riding along, sound of truck beeping behind me followed by a stream of loud Catalan. I waited until they were alongside to turn to face them and smile. For some reason the truck sped off!

I don't understand it, no way can anyone accuse me of having any shape other than bloke*.

*Barring the normal, that being arms, legs and head.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 03, 2015, 11:39:29 pm
And today, by way of symmetry:

In the football voice: "HAHAHA! G'WAAAN GEEZA!"
*awkward pause as I get a bit closer*
Sheepish, to nobody in particular: "Oh, it's a woman."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on September 14, 2015, 12:18:55 pm
Yesterday was special. Firstly passenger in a transit van, hanging his head out the window like a dog: 'urrr, you're riding a bike.' Next, freewheeling towards Victoria station, car driver to left as I filter to the right: 'you're going too fast.'

I'm grateful to London drivers for their continuing advice and wit.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: paul851 on September 19, 2015, 10:42:18 pm
Not to bad tonight , one "GO ON LAD" from on oncoming car and a "ooooh Bradley Wiggins" followed by an "Aye oop" from a teenager as I went round for another lap whilst out on the fixed trying to get some fitness back after 5 months of the bike .


Paul
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 19, 2015, 11:05:49 pm
I had a Mexican[1] forced-laughter from an elongated group of teenagers earlier.  I'm probably the most exciting thing that's happened to them this weekend.


[1] As in wave.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on September 20, 2015, 07:29:09 pm
Not even on a bike, but I was walking with a rucksack on my back someone leaned out of their car window and went 'urrggghhhhh backpack!' and seemed really pleased with his effort.

I genuinely don't get it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jakob W on October 02, 2015, 06:05:02 pm
First day out with the bakfiets in sunny Walsall; apart from the bemused looks, I had a 'smashing it!', a couple of 'sick's, and the odd 'bwaaargh' from various spotty oiks. I got the impression any given response was a mix of mockery and grudging appreciation.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Katie on October 05, 2015, 04:54:51 pm
"You're meant to stop at a red!"

To be fair to them, it was quite a witty response given the situation.

New cycling trousers are shinier than previous pairs. The bike stopped at a red light, my arse kept moving.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Graeme on October 05, 2015, 05:11:07 pm
Bloke in a transit van extended a metal tape measure out the window after they'd passed me.

Two possible interpretations came to mind.

I concluded he was impressed with the size of my self-confidence and trying to see if he measured up.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Blade on October 05, 2015, 05:41:21 pm
Me, sat at a set of traffic lights on my recumbent trike.
Car pulls alongside.
Passenger winds down window and says 'That looks comfortable'.
My reply, 'Yes, it's like sitting in an armchair in my front room'.
Passenger says, 'where's your telly then' ?
I reach over, tap my Garmin and say 'Just here'  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Morat on October 08, 2015, 04:24:31 pm
The usual response to two MAMILs on a Tandem wearing Fat Bastard shirts is laughter. I'm happy with that :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tigerrr on October 08, 2015, 06:18:18 pm
I cycle twice a day with my dog Bosun on an extension waist lead. He is a very active Bearded Collie cross with chase and behaviour issues so can't go off lead - given he needs about 10-15 miles a day of running this is the only way I can keep him fit and healthy. For him it is the morning/evening patrols and he sees it firmly as his 'job'.
After a few offs in the early months, he's become an expert at pacing alongside, anticipating which side to cut as we overtake and which side of the bollards etc I am going to go. When he is working he simply ignores all distractions - squirrels under the nose, cats in the way, rats by the river, and all the other inquisitive or barmy dogs who want to have a go. On a mission.  Off the bike - he is a menace. He was in the last chance saloon after an incident with a horse rider in Richmond, and the cycling has effectively saved his life. It was the suggestion of the top (most expensive) dog behaviourist in the UK after vet and other behaviourist consultation. Still got a lot of work to do but he may yet make it to old age.
Every few weeks I get someone tell me I am being cruel to the poor animal, and I am a lazy irresponsible so and so etc.  I respond by asking exactly what their professional qualifications for the allegation are in case they have something useful to say - not yet - and then they get the full works. I then spend the day feeling bad.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: greenmeansgo on October 08, 2015, 07:29:45 pm
<indecipherable>!
Me: what's that?
Car passenger: 30! You're doing 30!
Me: 30? Really? ... Nice!

I don't have a speedo on my Langster, so I can only guess my speeds. Nice to get an occasional update!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pancho on October 08, 2015, 08:30:14 pm
I don't get much of this really (beyond "morning!" from fishermen).

But I did get laughed at the other day by a gaggle of girls coming out of a school. I'd have laughed too - I don't think it's possible to look anything but comical when fighting a gale, wearing a sodden cape, and trying to hold a sou'wester on one's head. Uncool? Me?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: HTFB on October 09, 2015, 10:32:45 am
I cycle twice a day with my dog Bosun ... with chase and behaviour issues so can't go off lead ... he is a menace. He was in the last chance saloon after an incident ... in Richmond ...
"Bosun", hur, hur, sounds a bit like "Fenton".
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: TigaSefi on October 09, 2015, 12:04:47 pm
I cycle twice a day with my dog Bosun on an extension waist lead. He is a very active Bearded Collie cross with chase and behaviour issues so can't go off lead - given he needs about 10-15 miles a day of running this is the only way I can keep him fit and healthy. For him it is the morning/evening patrols and he sees it firmly as his 'job'.
After a few offs in the early months, he's become an expert at pacing alongside, anticipating which side to cut as we overtake and which side of the bollards etc I am going to go. When he is working he simply ignores all distractions - squirrels under the nose, cats in the way, rats by the river, and all the other inquisitive or barmy dogs who want to have a go. On a mission.  Off the bike - he is a menace. He was in the last chance saloon after an incident with a horse rider in Richmond, and the cycling has effectively saved his life. It was the suggestion of the top (most expensive) dog behaviourist in the UK after vet and other behaviourist consultation. Still got a lot of work to do but he may yet make it to old age.
Every few weeks I get someone tell me I am being cruel to the poor animal, and I am a lazy irresponsible so and so etc.  I respond by asking exactly what their professional qualifications for the allegation are in case they have something useful to say - not yet - and then they get the full works. I then spend the day feeling bad.

I do wonder if it cruel to ride with a dog on a lead especially if the dog isn't that big to start with (small legs and no resting). I won't butt in and say you shouldn't do that and if the vet agrees, then who am I to argue. It doesn't sit right with me personally and I wouldn't recommend it but don't feel bad either :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pancho on October 09, 2015, 12:14:37 pm
From the description, it's more a matter of tethering a semi-controlled half-wolf-beast than dragging a handbag dog down the street tied to your bike.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: TigaSefi on October 09, 2015, 12:26:11 pm
From the description, it's more a matter of tethering a semi-controlled half-wolf-beast than dragging a handbag dog down the street tied to your bike.

In that case, carry on as he were then!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Morat on October 09, 2015, 04:41:17 pm
It definitely depends on the dog. If you tried it with a Basset hound you'd fall off everytime it smelt something (which is every 6 inches) and turned 90 degrees to investigate. I'd imagine a Dalmation would love this sort of thing, being bred to follow carriages.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: valkyrie on October 09, 2015, 10:07:21 pm
I was once walking up a long boring forest track to get to a remote Munro in the NW of Scotland. A farmer in a Landrover stopped and offered me a lift. His Collie was in the front seat so he just let it out to let me in. He then proceeded to thrash the landie up the hill at about 30mph with the dog running in front of us. After about 6 miles we got to where I was going and he stopped to let me out. The collie threw itself in a ditch at the side of the road to cool off but seemed to have enjoyed the run. I very much doubt if a mere cyclist could tire one of those dogs out.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Arellcat on October 09, 2015, 11:01:00 pm
While riding home this evening and necessarily waiting in line with the car drivers because there wasn't enough room to filter, an oik on a BSO passed me, shouting, 'YOU'RE NOT A CAR!!'

Well, quite.  Appearances can be deceptive, but it does say "Velo" on the side in eight-inch tall letters.

Two people walking along the road at the time said out loud, 'What was that about?' at about the same time as I was murmering to myself, 'What was that about?'  In my imagination I concocted a splendid reply about his powers of observation and why on Earth shouldn't my bike have a brake light and have its wheels hidden on the inside?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 19, 2015, 06:12:59 pm
"Aren't you cold?" from a man in thick orange hi-vis who didn't really qualify for oik status, while I was queueing in traffic.

"Only while I have to wait for the cars to get out of the way." I replied, in a rare moment of lucidity.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 10, 2015, 04:43:02 pm
"Hey you!  Do you know the person who doesn't see sense like Blackheath like that?"

Or at least that's what it sounded like.

They were scary-looking and wielding a can of Special Brew, so I didn't hang around to find out what they actually meant.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on November 10, 2015, 06:14:20 pm
I assume that there is a 'bentist in Blackheath.

Well?  Do you know them?  Do they see sense or not? 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jakob on November 15, 2015, 11:40:53 pm
Lady with her dog (off leash) , blatantly ignoring the red light and walked out in front me. I told her "Thank you!" and got a torrent of abuse in return. If it hadn't been for the dog, I doubt I would have slowed down...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 07, 2015, 05:53:38 pm
Yesterday:

"GAAAAYYY!!!"

"[inaudible] yer boike!"

+ about a dozen smartphone photography incidents.  And an exchange of the unusual vehicle hand wave with a onesie-clad couple on a motor tricycle[1].


Today:

"Oh look, a recumbent." From an old man at a bus stop on a Bastard Hill.

"G'waaan ya slaaag!"  (In the football voice)  From a ~13 year old boy, in the company of a slightly younger boy and a male adult.

+ about zero smartphone photography incidents.


[1] I'd seen them approaching in my mirror, and thought it was another motor-tricyclist who I see on an irregular basis.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 17, 2015, 04:29:08 pm
"G'waaan girl!", from random car passenger making an approving fist gesture as I span a trailer load of stuff up the annoying steep bit of the Pershore Road under Rule 9 conditions.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on December 17, 2015, 04:42:51 pm
Again?  You aimimg on filling that dump yourself?  ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 17, 2015, 05:03:27 pm
Again?  You aimimg on filling that dump yourself?  ;)

Combination of a couple of new office chairs (hence having to dispose of a couple of knackered office chairs), plus an improbable amount of cardboard, due to barakta's DSA equipment supplier being extremely enthusiastic about courier-proof packaging.  And I've been tidying up, but most of that has gone in the normal household waste.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on December 17, 2015, 06:18:04 pm
I've only been to Llifford Lane once with the bike and trailer.  All the way there I was wondering what tactic I would use if there was a giant queue.  As it turned out, there wasn't.  Only 2 or 3 cars, one of which moved up to the customs/immigration post as I arrived.  So I just took my place in line.

What do you do?  Ever had a giant queue?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on December 17, 2015, 06:22:47 pm
I try to avoid weekends, and evenings in peak gardening season, which helps.  Worst I've had queue-wise was maybe a dozen cars, so I just waited in line.  If the queue were sillier than that, I'd probably divert to the cycle route and fly-tip it in the canal ;)

If it's just cardboard, I tend to use one of the many cardboard bins closer to home (typically combining with a big supermarket shop), so I think this may be the second time I've been there since the non-collection of green waste kicked in.  I have, however, been caught in the traffic resulting from the giant queue.  A couple of times by bike, justifying pedestrianism and diversion via the cycle route, and once in a car, which was just dull.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on December 18, 2015, 10:17:59 am
I shouted, 'Nice one, Ninja!' at an unlit yoof trying and failing to do tricks in the middle of the road on my way home last night. He laughed and shouted 'Fuck off' back.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on December 30, 2015, 12:48:48 pm
<indecipherable>!
Me: what's that?
Car passenger: 30! You're doing 30!
Me: 30? Really? ... Nice!

I don't have a speedo on my Langster, so I can only guess my speeds. Nice to get an occasional update!
When my dad was a teenager, he got pulled over by the police for going too fast on his bike. His response was that he didn't have a speedo, and they were just miffed because he overtook them.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: De Sisti on December 30, 2015, 12:53:33 pm
Me, sat at a set of traffic lights on my recumbent trike.
Car pulls alongside.
Passenger winds down window and says 'That looks comfortable'.
My reply, 'Yes, it's like sitting in an armchair in my front room'.
Passenger says, 'where's your telly then' ?
I reach over, tap my Garmin and say 'Just here'  :-D
.
I like it . :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 02, 2016, 06:06:41 pm
When I was about 15 I had what would now quite likely be called a Dutch bike but was in fact a 1950s Philips roadster made of old bath tubs, with bolt on seat stays and rod brakes. It looked quite smart with its red lining on the mudguards. One day as I was clanking over a level crossing in Stonehouse, which I don't think is there anymore, an old bloke on a C90 rode alongside and yelled at me that I was doing 20mph. Wow, powered by sheer teenage wotsitness.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on February 09, 2016, 06:37:04 pm
Riding tonight straight from work I had my trousers rolled up to show off my hi visit lily white calves. Some toff woman slowed down in her SUV wound her window down and told me I needed tights. I thanked her for her concern and said I was warm enough.
WTF?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on February 09, 2016, 06:58:51 pm
Riding tonight straight from work I had my trousers rolled up to show off my hi visit lily white calves. Some toff woman slowed down in her SUV wound her window down and told me I needed tights. I thanked her for her concern and said I was warm enough.
WTF?

File with "Are you really going out without any make-up?" I suppose.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 01, 2016, 05:37:33 pm
"Get on yer boik!" from the world's least observant (or perhaps least imaginative) van passenger.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Blade on March 01, 2016, 08:51:03 pm
Female cyclist on last weeks Sunrise Express Audax.

"You should be wearing a helmet"

Me.

"It's not compulsory, where's your bell? "  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 20, 2016, 05:52:24 pm
Random bloke on phone at bus stop: "Sick boik!"

Child being dragged along by parents: "What's that?" "It's a bicycle!" "Cool!"

That David Cox, of CTC fame:  "Hello Kim!"

Oncoming rider who'd just conquered a Bastard Hill on a local charity sportive: "HUH-EH-HUH-EH-HUH" *thumbsup*

Plus a deployment of the now legendary Col. Bogey horn by a random motorist I wasn't really paying attention to at a junction.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on March 20, 2016, 07:15:37 pm
Female cyclist on last weeks Sunrise Express Audax.

"You should be wearing a helmet"

Me.

"It's not compulsory, where's your bell? "  ;D
DEFINITELY an Oik.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on March 22, 2016, 11:56:45 am
This morning as I sat at the lights in the advanced box, I began to hear some sort of bollox coming from a vehicle sat at the front of the queue.  Not the one directly behind me, but the one in the outside lane.
Lots of stuff about “Where’s Wally” 
Huh?  That’s a bit odd.  I’m not wearing a stripy jumper or even a woolly hat.
I studiously ignore it and don’t even bother looking round.  Then it progresses to stuff about moustaches and eventually moves to “gis a goo on yer boik”
It gets stuck on “gis a goo on yer boik” which is repeated ad nausium until I finally turn round and snap “Don’t be so bloody Stupid”
It’s at that point that I realise that the noise had been coming from a mini bus transporting a group what seemed to be young people with learning difficulties.
The main protagonist, who was hanging out of the front passenger window, grumpily replied “Oi’m not stoopid, Oi’m cleva  :smug:"

I felt awful.   :-[
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ruthie on March 28, 2016, 10:46:38 am
I was walking on the pavement, but I'm still a cyclist, so it still counts right?

On the way home from a meeting last night a car came from behind me, with a kid of about 20 with one of those whipped-cream hairdos leaning out of the window.  He shouted "Yer speccy twat!"

Haven't been called that since I was about 14!

Then, further along the next road, two little kids were racing their scooters along the pavement.  I stood aside to let them past and the little girl shouted "Thank you old lady!"

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on March 28, 2016, 01:33:07 pm
We got a traditional "Do a wheelie" from youths at one of the many fine McEstablishments we visited on Friday and Saturday
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 28, 2016, 01:43:15 pm
We got a traditional "Do a wheelie" from youths at one of the many fine McEstablishments we visited on Friday and Saturday

Why does that never happen when you're riding something you could reasonably do a wheelie on?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on March 28, 2016, 02:50:40 pm
We got a traditional "Do a wheelie" from youths at one of the many fine McEstablishments we visited on Friday and Saturday

Why does that never happen when you're riding something you could reasonably do a wheelie on?

Like a unicycle?  Oh, hang on....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 28, 2016, 02:52:55 pm
We got a traditional "Do a wheelie" from youths at one of the many fine McEstablishments we visited on Friday and Saturday

Why does that never happen when you're riding something you could reasonably do a wheelie on?

Like a unicycle?  Oh, hang on....

(http://new1.fjcdn.com/pictures/Do_1d53a6_220031.png)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: woollypigs on April 03, 2016, 03:50:33 pm
Two today :)

1/ That looks way to comfy

2/ wow they come with chairs now
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: T42 on April 03, 2016, 03:55:00 pm
Plus a deployment of the now legendary Col. Bogey horn by a random motorist I wasn't really paying attention to at a junction.

I once had the pleasure of watching a bloke who used one of those come round a bend straight into a police trap.

Maybe we should have a schadenfreude thread.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on April 03, 2016, 04:19:33 pm
Maybe we should have a Schadenfreude thread.

Good idea!  ;D :demon:

Maybe best in 'The Pub'.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: sam on April 06, 2016, 02:25:55 pm
Having stopped near Berwick yesterday morning, on a drizzly minor road, to specifically photograph some terrible potholes I knew would 'still be there' (bless East Sussex CC), I thought I'd photograph little Bradley in one of them (Instagram: @mr.rigs if anyone's interested), and noticed this chap approaching me. I'd just got my phone out and as he cycled past I said "Morning" to him, and his reply was: "Put your fucking phone away!"

Saw a woman riding phone to ear down Oxford Street the other day. (I know, I know. It would've been more impressive if she was texting, or solving a Rubik's Cube). It honestly cheers me to see people flouting ealth & safety. Personally I noise cancel any oiksomeness with earphones.

Quote
I replied: "I'm photographing potholes!"

There remain potholes (http://road.cc/content/blog/129565-potholes-my-mind) near me in Far East Sussex which were gouged long before you posted this. If they fixed them now I'd probably continue to zig and zag around them, like an amputee scratching a phantom limb.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si S on April 06, 2016, 02:48:37 pm
This reminds me I got 'Get a hair cut' last night....its not yet a year since the last one  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on April 06, 2016, 03:04:47 pm
But it is a leap year, so come on!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on April 15, 2016, 06:21:40 pm
"Roarghwooargrrrwrrh - jam!", from an oik hanging out of a passing van window. What was I wearing?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 15, 2016, 06:25:11 pm
"Roarghwooargrrrwrrh - jam!", from an oik hanging out of a passing van window. What was I wearing?

Marmite jersey?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on April 15, 2016, 06:29:19 pm
"Roarghwooargrrrwrrh - jam!", from an oik hanging out of a passing van window. What was I wearing?

Marmite jersey?

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on April 21, 2016, 07:54:11 pm
As I rode past O'Donahughs (or whatever Irish themed pub name it goes by) on Spittle Street in Marlow on the way home, a coiffered hipster accompanied by an orange BOMGAR T shirted large of girth bearded buddy exited the pub. One of them said "Hmmmmmmm- Spandex"

Was it a bit pedantic to reply "Lycra! This is the UK"?

I got a "What was that?" in return to which I had to reply, "This is the UK so it is calle lycra. They call it Spandex in the States"

This caused a bit of nervous laughter and an increase in walking pace.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wascally Weasel on April 25, 2016, 01:10:20 pm
I had my first “Get on the cycle path!”* when cycling down Priory Lane today.  Haven’t had one of these in ages so it was very welcome (statement may contain lies).



*I can only guess that’s what he said as the driver was on the other side of the road and I only heard “ath” due to our passing speed.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si S on April 25, 2016, 01:31:05 pm
In response to a shake of the head I got 'Pay some road tax you c*nt' from a doesn't look old enough to drive nurse trying to drum up business with a left hook on the hospital grounds  ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on April 25, 2016, 02:15:14 pm
I always deduce that if a shake of the cyclist's head produces an aggressive response from the errant motorist then that's as sure an indication as any that a) they were in the wrong and b) that they know it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on April 25, 2016, 08:36:58 pm
I had my first “Get on the cycle path!”* when cycling down Priory Lane today.  Haven’t had one of these in ages so it was very welcome (statement may contain lies).



*I can only guess that’s what he said as the driver was on the other side of the road and I only heard “ath” due to our passing speed.

Coincidentally that's exactly the place I had my own similar experience. So it's either the same guy who has made a hobby of it or being an idiot is contagious. Fat headed buffoon in a Range Rover. I shouted 'why don't you' in response which seemed to cause him a significant logical quandary. Well, I didn't mean do it in his car, rather he should get a bit of exercise, wobbling jowls don't count. I suspect he is the type of person who is used to having things slowly and carefully explained to him. Sadly no one had slowly and carefully explained that ownership of a Range Rover is a clear advertisement that he's a dimwitted chucklemonkey of the most supreme order.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on April 27, 2016, 10:51:10 am
"Rwwargh* Pompino!", from another cyclist.






*May have been 'bueno' or somesuch.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Rampancy on April 27, 2016, 05:18:34 pm
Ropey old car pulls up alongside.
Passenger who looks like he's been in a fight in the last 24 hours shouts "e're mate you've dropped something"

"oh really?" I reply

The car then accelerates and I can't make out the punchline  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: woollypigs on May 08, 2016, 07:35:54 pm
Went past the local sk8er park, where I might take up their offer one day of having a go :)

On of the youth followed me further up the hill on his bmx. When he came up along me he asked how do you steer? I said with my arms, I saw his eyes following my arms down, and then light ball moment, ah!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Vince on May 08, 2016, 07:41:00 pm
Someone wolf whistled at me on Saturday. He really wasn't my type.
Perhaps it was the pink Fuck Cancer socks he was whistling at.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: JennyB on May 08, 2016, 08:44:17 pm
Ropey old car pulls up alongside.
Passenger who looks like he's been in a fight in the last 24 hours shouts "e're mate you've dropped something"


A  guy in a van said that to me last month when I was Just Riding Along. I'd dropped my wallet and he passed it over to me. Which was nice!   ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on May 09, 2016, 08:44:12 am
Not a shout out, but someone wrote 'clean me' in the dust on my bike.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 09, 2016, 12:40:48 pm
"Get a bike!"   ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on May 09, 2016, 12:44:21 pm
"Get a bike!"   ???

From your puzzled expression, shall we assume you were not on the recumbent?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 09, 2016, 12:46:34 pm
I was, but it was still very much a bicycle.  Two wheels, innit.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Guy on May 10, 2016, 03:28:44 pm
They probably meant a motorbike. To many people "bikes" have engines. What we ride are "pushbikes" (though mine is only pushed on Very Steep Hills Indeed and in places where cycling isn't allowed)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Riggers on May 11, 2016, 11:02:22 am
Not a shout, but a glare!

Sunday. Cycling towards Mayfield in East Sussex. Gloriously sunny day, and I'm on a fast stretch of downhill road that has double-white lines and a 50 speed limit. Vehicle that catches me up is a singe-decker bus, and the driver is maintaining my speed with a sensible distance behind. After half a mile of this, we start to climb. I'm conscious of holding traffic up, so at a convenient point ( a mini bit of tarmac entrance to a field) I duck off the road with a wee track stand, and allow the vehicles that have accumulated, to carry on.

By now the road is wide enough to accommodate comfortably me and cars. Lovely. I carry on magnificently (struggling) up the hill. Cars pass no problem except, that is, one stupid old cow in some tiny little car, has to slow down, match my speed, and glare at me. Obviously she felt the need to display just "How cross she was, for being held up in her very important journey!" She reminded me of a very cross-looking Betty Boothroyd (ex-speaker of the House). It really was quite pathetic. But just that little incident (one I should just shrug off) has impinged on me, and felt the need to 'unload'!

Mind you, she got a serious amount of arm waving from me, telling her to "Move on!"

There. That's better.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jsabine on May 12, 2016, 12:48:18 am
I'd have blown her a kiss.

Or three.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: JBB on May 12, 2016, 07:10:20 am
Not sure this counts but  wending our way south out of Nantes " Allez! Courage "  from a bloke in a green saloon car.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 12, 2016, 09:58:33 am
Not sure this counts but  wending our way south out of Nantes " Allez! Courage "  from a bloke in a green saloon car.

Likewise being encouraged into acts of hooligan descending on the northern side of the Ardèche gorge while riding a fully-loaded tourer, by the occupants of a Dutch-registered car.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: benborp on May 12, 2016, 10:23:18 am
Round here the familiar sound of a clapped out Peugeot full of yoofs bearing down on an enthusiastic cyclist is usually accompanied by shouts of 'Allez!,' and if climbing a substantial hill a shout out of the current speedo reading.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: vantage on May 13, 2016, 01:05:49 am
Riding home along NCR55 through Little Hulton last week. Doing a paltry 12mph in my shorts and jersey, minding my own business and enjoying the 75 degree heat.
Up ahead were two teenage girls. Can of lager in one hand and a cig in the other. She and her mate are wearing big padded puffer jackets.
Gave my bell a ring and passed them with as much room as I could which was loads...a good 3-4 feet given the track width.
One of them mutters under her breath, "Dickhead."
Classy.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tom_e on May 13, 2016, 06:46:07 am
I must admit the use of Fahrenheit offends me too, but that seems a bit of an overreaction.  :P

Use of a bell seems to invoke absurd reactions sometimes, but in this instance I suspect you simply have a teenager with an attitude, conforming to the stereotype seen on TV.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si S on May 13, 2016, 07:19:57 am
It's Little Hulton,  if they were conforming they'd have have been drinking meths and smoking crack while their feral toddlers strung wires across the cycle path.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 13, 2016, 11:01:47 am
Use of a bell seems to invoke absurd reactions sometimes

The probabilities divide roughly into thirds I find:  A third of people will take it in the manner that it's intended[1] "Cyclist coming, don't leap sideways without looking".  Another third will assume it's being used for the de-facto "GET OUT OF MY WAY PEDESTRIAN SCUM!" of a car horn, with an optional startle and sideways leap.  And the rest simply won't hear it.

The only safe context for ringing your bell is in response to a cheerful wave by a small child.


[1] This seems to increase around canal bridges and in the presence of "Cyclists: Use your bell" signs.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: benborp on May 13, 2016, 12:00:14 pm
Fatalistically awaits opportunity to report shout of "Next peadal cyclist rings their bell at my child, I swear I'll do time!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on May 13, 2016, 07:08:22 pm
To be honest, as a pedestrian I find bike bells strangely aggressive. I think it's psychological, analogous to car horns in London and New York. Some beeps you in London and it's fuckthefuckoffyoufucker. Someone beeps you in New York City and it's yeahyeahwhatever.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: vantage on May 13, 2016, 08:48:38 pm
Can't say I've ever had a negative response from ringing the bell. I've even been thanked for it's use.  :-\
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Bledlow on May 16, 2016, 10:27:43 pm
Not sure this counts but  wending our way south out of Nantes " Allez! Courage "  from a bloke in a green saloon car.

Likewise being encouraged into acts of hooligan descending on the northern side of the Ardèche gorge while riding a fully-loaded tourer, by the occupants of a Dutch-registered car.
I canoed through that once, but I've never cycled around there.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on May 17, 2016, 09:33:35 am
Use of a bell seems to invoke absurd reactions sometimes

The probabilities divide roughly into thirds I find:  A third of people will take it in the manner that it's intended[1] "Cyclist coming, don't leap sideways without looking".  Another third will assume it's being used for the de-facto "GET OUT OF MY WAY PEDESTRIAN SCUM!" of a car horn, with an optional startle and sideways leap.  And the rest simply won't hear it.

The only safe context for ringing your bell is in response to a cheerful wave by a small child.


[1] This seems to increase around canal bridges and in the presence of "Cyclists: Use your bell" signs.


This.  I don't even bother now.  I find I get a better response to either 'excuse me' or an oral and jovial 'bing bing!'  - that's got several laughs before now  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si S on May 17, 2016, 09:47:08 am
On the Middleton way a few weeks ago:


Me:<ting, ting>....<ting, ting>....."Excuse me"...."OI"

Smartarse teenage hiker: "Should've used your bell"
 
Me: "If you stop blowing the fucking mountain rescue whistle every 2 seconds you might be able to hear it"

 ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 17, 2016, 12:24:44 pm
Not sure this counts but  wending our way south out of Nantes " Allez! Courage "  from a bloke in a green saloon car.

Likewise being encouraged into acts of hooligan descending on the northern side of the Ardèche gorge while riding a fully-loaded tourer, by the occupants of a Dutch-registered car.
I canoed through that once, but I've never cycled around there.

Did the canoe thing some sixteen years after the cycling; it was equally teh aces though Miss von Brandenburg, whose arms seized up to the extent that she had to be fed her dinner that night, may have cause to disagree.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 17, 2016, 12:30:29 pm
Use of a bell seems to invoke absurd reactions sometimes

The probabilities divide roughly into thirds I find:  A third of people will take it in the manner that it's intended[1] "Cyclist coming, don't leap sideways without looking".  Another third will assume it's being used for the de-facto "GET OUT OF MY WAY PEDESTRIAN SCUM!" of a car horn, with an optional startle and sideways leap.  And the rest simply won't hear it.

The only safe context for ringing your bell is in response to a cheerful wave by a small child.


[1] This seems to increase around canal bridges and in the presence of "Cyclists: Use your bell" signs.

This.  I don't even bother now.  I find I get a better response to either 'excuse me' or an oral and jovial 'bing bing!'  - that's got several laughs before now  :thumbsup:

If it's not a canal bridge and I want to warn pedestrians of my presence, my preferred method is a noisy front gear change.  It's a noise that says 'bicycle' without any "get out of my way" connotations.  Indeed, it may convey undertones of "I've seen you and am preparing to slow down".

Similarly, the shriek of Kool Stops is undeniably effective, but doesn't always produce the desired result.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on May 17, 2016, 12:45:47 pm


Similarly, the shriek of Kool Stops is undeniably effective, but doesn't always produce the desired result.
Especially approaching horses. The choices facing my chum Keith were the shriek of Kool Stops or approaching the horses at R17.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on May 17, 2016, 12:51:58 pm
I have a nice noisy freewheel ratchet  - that works very well for those that actually have no headphone on functional hearing
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 17, 2016, 12:58:12 pm
I have a nice noisy freewheel ratchet  - that works very well for those that actually have no headphone on functional hearing

That's the other issue I have with ping bells.  It's a single fairly high frequency that sounds a bit like tinnitus, which is what I'd come up with if I had to design a bell that was inaudible to as many people with mild hearing loss as possible.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on May 17, 2016, 01:14:42 pm
Now if it sounded like a mad angry dog coming up behind them...  :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bikey-mikey on May 18, 2016, 01:59:41 pm
On the subject of bells, I don't have one, BUT someone, and I suspect my lovely other half, has changed the sound my iPhone makes whenever an email is received.....

..... TO A VERY REALISTIC BIKE BELL.......

I'm just hoping that one day an oeick will yell, "Where's your Bell", and I'll get an email at the perfect moment!!  Chew on that, sucker !!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 18, 2016, 02:08:48 pm
I once rang my bring-bring bell and a pedestrian responded by answering their phone.  Comedy gold.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on May 18, 2016, 03:27:05 pm
 :-D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on May 18, 2016, 06:19:33 pm
Made oi larf:

Quote from: Bus driver
You're a gentleman and a scholar!

After I shuffled across an ASL (which had been partially blocked by another bus driver) to allow room for the bus to get round the corner.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: recumbentpanda on May 19, 2016, 08:59:46 pm
Came up behind a family of three occupying the full width of the two tunnels route. Politely made my presence known by a ping of my bell. Cue Mummy, thinking sprog had rung her bell out of sheer joie de vivre, ringing hers enthusiastically in reply. Sprog responds with energetic ringing. Daddy cheerfully adds his own efforts to the little carillon now echoing through the tunnel. Feeling it churlish not to enter into the spirit of the thing I add my own flourishes. This goes on until it suddenly dawns on Mummy that one of the bells has an unfamiliar timbre . . .
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: DrMekon on May 19, 2016, 10:21:42 pm
Steroided up angry dad tried to force me off the road, then pulled in front of me, slamming on brakes and shouting the odds.

I remained calm.

He gets back in car, and I go to cycle off, but bus driver is calling out "he tried to run you off the road and threatened you. I've got it all on camera. Call the police, and follow me - I'll show you how to get the footage"

"No, ICBA, happens too often, want to get home to see kids" says me, but he's insisting. I follow, get instructions, and start the call. As I'm speaking to call handler, angry dad arrives trying to shout some more. Call handler didn't mess about. Less than a minute and police arrive with blue lights. They take details, give me card, and say they're going to speak to bus driver.

Seriously, I've had 3 papers accepted in great journals this week, and now a dick head decides to play the bully with his car in front of what may be the only militant camera wielding bus driver in the country*. I should buy a lottery ticket.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on May 19, 2016, 11:06:55 pm
Pleased you've hit a lucky streak, Dr Mekon!
I's 30 years since I last cycled in Headingley...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: handcyclist on May 20, 2016, 08:39:37 am
Wow, is there a 'bus driver of the year' award?

Glad the polis took such positive action too.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on May 20, 2016, 08:48:39 am
Wow. Shame it happened in the first place, but what a result. Keep us posted.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Phil W on May 20, 2016, 06:23:40 pm
I used to have a tigger horn on my mountain bike. Used it in a park and two old ladies looked up in the sky for ducks...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on May 24, 2016, 07:16:01 am
I once rang my bring-bring bell and a pedestrian responded by answering their phone.  Comedy gold.

My rather loud "ping" bell (http://www.lionbellworks.co.uk/) also sounds like many peoples phone alerts for incoming text/tinface alerts. Similar amusement has been had.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on May 27, 2016, 09:19:32 am
My zero to your power of ten equals A propos of nothing at all:

Quote from: angry twat inna car
GET A FUCKING HELMET!

I was just waiting to enter a roundabout, he was already on the roundabout having just come from my right, so there had been no previous interaction  ??? He sounded really angry, too. Bizarre.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 27, 2016, 12:18:52 pm
My zero to your power of ten equals A propos of nothing at all:

Quote from: angry twat inna car
GET A FUCKING HELMET!

I was just waiting to enter a roundabout, he was already on the roundabout having just come from my right, so there had been no previous interaction  ??? He sounded really angry, too. Bizarre.

Probably your fault for not wearing a fucking helmet.  Many people are under the mistaken impression that fucking helmets are a legal requirement for using a bicycle, and at least two of them are angry twats in cars.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Vince on May 27, 2016, 12:25:15 pm
Do fucking helmets look a bit like the Sydney opera house?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on May 27, 2016, 01:08:35 pm
Strange thing happened just now. I've got a day off and just returned to my abode in the car.  I bumped into my next door neighbour, whom I've hardly met or spoken to.  He apologised to me for shouting at me the other day as he overtook in his white van.  Except I'm pretty sure it wasn't me.  The cyclist in questions pulled a foot out of his pedal and had a go at the driver for being on the phone, none of which I recall doing.

Bloodycyclists, they're all the same.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: T42 on May 27, 2016, 01:43:50 pm
Do fucking helmets look a bit like the Sydney opera house?

Do they have compulsory opera in Oz?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on May 28, 2016, 06:55:38 am
Do fucking helmets look a bit like the Sydney opera house?

Do they have compulsory opera in Oz?

's called Neighbours, cobber
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Deano on May 29, 2016, 02:46:44 pm
"Pull a wheelie!"

I shouted this when we overtook a BMX bandit riding along with banging choons beating out of his little speaker. It was towards the end of the Dales Grimpeur, and he nearly caught us up on the drag towards Jervaulx Abbey. I could hear the music getting closer...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: graculus on May 29, 2016, 04:00:49 pm
Pedal faster I hear banjos
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 29, 2016, 07:27:24 pm
"G'wan love, get up there!"

As I cycled *down* (in as much as it has a gradient at all) the Pershore Road through Stirchley.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Riggers on June 06, 2016, 09:53:20 am
"Not on it you C**t!" was very clearly enunciated, delivered at such a volume, that the lady driver's young daughter (in the rear seat) will have been forever burned into her brain.

Crossing the roundabout yesterday towards Steyning, to reach a back road (going up Bostal Hill) I spied this woman driver approaching the roundabout. I could see her looking down at her phone, and could have let it pass but, no, I thought, and held my hand up to my ear to symbolise being on the phone, at her.

She could have just acknowledged it, held her hand up, and all would have been fine. Instead, she verbalised the nuance of 'not actually being ON the phone, merely being DISTRACTED by it'.

I just had to laugh at the absurdity of it. What a foul and disgusting human being who won't take responsibility for their actions. There's a lot of them out there.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on June 17, 2016, 02:08:30 pm
As I rode up The Causeway, Marlow last night, heading home, a group of 'lads' walking in the opposite direction celebrating the Ingerland win. One of them leaps into the road waving his arms around and drunkenly exclaims "You got a flibble wibble sommat or other!"

I had by now come to a halt so said to his mates "Look after him, his fuckwit gland has gone hyperactive" and then rode off to laughter from his mates and a questioning, confused "Whadyoosay?Didhecallmeafuckwit" from the incoherent one.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on June 17, 2016, 02:12:08 pm
Great line. Was that rehearsed or spur of the moment ?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on June 17, 2016, 04:08:50 pm
A spur of the moment thing. I have absolutely no idea where it came from. He made like an idiot and there it was.

Next time something like that happens I will be struggling for a comeback :-\
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on June 17, 2016, 04:40:00 pm
Meh, use it again, just don't tell us again and make out it was original ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on June 17, 2016, 06:26:25 pm
"Get out of the road" dopplered some woman from behind the wheel of her passing car. I was in the middle of the road. Hand out and waiting to turn right.

Croydonia. A special place for special people.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Vince on June 18, 2016, 08:03:42 pm
'Faster, faster' shouted at me as I struggled up a steep hill in the Forest of Dean... approaching a give way!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on June 19, 2016, 06:54:33 pm
On the way out to Tesco's today, car passing in opposite direction.

"Nice tits!"

Somewhat bemused by that one, but, well, I'm happy with them...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: essexian on June 21, 2016, 02:25:27 pm
On the back way from Haughton to Seighford this morning were a pair of blokes working on some overhanging trees...chainsaws, ear defenders, high viz, helmets: the lot.

So, as they were working in the middle of the lane, I stopped and called out to ask to be allowed to make progress. No reply. So, I asked again this time a little louder. Still no reply. Now almost shouting, I still didn't get a reply. I suppose the human voice is no match for a fully powered up chain saw!

Eventually one of the blokes sees me and waved me by.... making the comment as I went by that: "You should have rung your bell"

Like  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mike on June 21, 2016, 02:31:46 pm
'mate, how do I get to corby??'  as I'm heading through central cambridge at 6 this morning.

must have been a good night out.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on June 21, 2016, 10:09:28 pm
did he have a pressing engagement?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on June 22, 2016, 08:19:00 am
 ::-)



Damn, wish I had thought of that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: T42 on June 22, 2016, 10:28:33 am
Crisp rejoinder.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on July 06, 2016, 10:12:40 pm
"Oi, you look like Bruce Willis" from what appeared to be a recent graduate of Croydon's College for Feminine Refinement and Decorum. Sadly I think she took my 'Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker' in the wrong spirit. Possibly her parents hadn't even been conceived when they made Die Hard. Maybe her grandparents, come to think of it, it is Croydon.

Still, that's quite flattering. Most days I look like a Moby Action Toy, so I figured it's a step-up to be an all action hero. So I quite proudly related this to my wife earlier as she headed out to assault passers-by with her magic trumpet thing.

"Yes, that's because you're both old and bald," she cheerfully muttered.

I'm changing the locks before she gets back.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on July 26, 2016, 01:57:16 pm
did he have a pressing engagement?
Creased me up ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on July 26, 2016, 03:20:23 pm
did he have a pressing engagement?
Creased me up ;D

I've trousered that one for later use.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on July 27, 2016, 10:01:01 am
Pleats do!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on July 27, 2016, 10:08:35 am
I had a strange one last night as I left work.  There is a gang o'lads who use the long driveway at this former hospital for practicing wheelies and generally pratting about on bikes and having fun :o  *clutches pearls* WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN etc...

Any way, last night, they were just coming up the road as I left.  As they streamed past on their BMXs and MTBs, and I rode the other way on my folder, one lad called out 'Bikelife!' and smiled. 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: closetleftie on July 27, 2016, 10:12:12 am
On the way out to Tesco's today, car passing in opposite direction.

"Nice tits!"

Somewhat bemused by that one, but, well, I'm happy with them...

Blue ones? 'tis the season for them.  :P
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: closetleftie on July 27, 2016, 10:12:51 am
I had a strange one last night as I left work.  There is a gang o'lads who use the long driveway at this former hospital for practicing wheelies and generally pratting about on bikes and having fun :o  *clutches pearls* WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN etc...

Any way, last night, they were just coming up the road as I left.  As they streamed past on their BMXs and MTBs, and I rode the other way on my folder, one lad called out 'Bikelife!' and smiled.

<LIKE!> 8)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jsabine on July 27, 2016, 10:13:35 am
one lad called out 'Bikelife!' and smiled. 

I'm guessing that's a reference to www.bikelife.tv, as referenced in the Bike Stormz (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=98647.0) thread.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on July 27, 2016, 10:14:13 am
I did wonder. 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jsabine on July 27, 2016, 12:42:21 pm
Kids, messing about, having fun ...

Seems to be pretty much what the Bikelife stuff is about.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: MagnusOpus on July 28, 2016, 09:25:34 am
Kids, messing about, having fun ...

Seems to be pretty much what the Bikelife stuff is about.

That's outrageous, something must be done about it
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 28, 2016, 09:34:16 am
Kids, messing about, having fun ...

Seems to be pretty much what the Bikelife stuff is about.

That's outrageous, something must be done about it
It often is. How long till "No ball games" is joined by "No bike games"?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 29, 2016, 07:38:51 pm
Driver of car in adjacent lane at traffic lights:  "Hey, you're bike's a bit deformed, isn't it?"
Kim: *examines bike in mock horror*  "???"
Driver: *awkward silence*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 29, 2016, 07:39:49 pm
It often is. How long till "No ball games" is joined by "No bike games"?

Don't forget "No skateboarding", for the hat-trick.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Bledlow on July 29, 2016, 11:04:58 pm
Kids, messing about, having fun ...

Seems to be pretty much what the Bikelife stuff is about.

That's outrageous, something must be done about it
"Darling, go & find out what the children are doing & stop them."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 30, 2016, 12:27:14 am
Driver of car in adjacent lane at traffic lights:  "Hey, you're bike's a bit deformed, isn't it?"
Kim: *examines bike in mock horror*  "???"
Driver: *awkward silence*

Did he verbalise the superfluous apostrophe as well ;D

Ignorant fellow...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: recumbentpanda on August 01, 2016, 08:50:01 pm
Reverse of oiks shouting at cyclists, but . . .

Crossing a bridge over the K&A canal, my way was partially blocked by a group of young men at the other end. Oblivious to my frighteningly green low rider recumbent they remained close together, staring at the screens of their phone cameras as they pointed them this way and that. As I slipped past a couple of the, finally noticed me, assuming startled expressions. "Ah, but you should see what I evolve into!" I said, and went on my way to a chorus of embarrassed laughter.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on August 02, 2016, 12:42:13 pm
"Ah, but you should see what I evolve into!" I said,
very good
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: woollypigs on August 05, 2016, 09:59:41 pm
Youth upon spotting and recognising me in the van as he was crossing the road. He slowed down and started to imitate someone riding a bicycle. He tried his best to make it look like he was on a recumbent. Though struggled a bit with how to show that the legs are up and hands are down. While shouting - "I'm you on riding your bicycle".

Ha! Fame at last \o/
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 07, 2016, 05:40:10 pm
Parent, to toddler as I wait for a pedestrian-jam to clear on the local cyclepath: "That's a strange boik, look it's upside-down."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on August 24, 2016, 08:01:47 pm
I was waiting for a train in Seaton Carew, and the platform also housed a number of yoofs (it being skool holibobs).

Quote from: yoof
Can I go on yer bike missis
Quote from: fboab
When you grow up
fx: other yoofs rofl

on boarding the train
Quote from: yoof
has yer bike got gears
Quote from: fboab
yes. yes it has. and brakes, too
fx: other passengers smile

on alighting from the train
Quote from: yoof
I really like yer bike missis. I like them levers
fx:operating STI
Quote from: fboab
er, thanks

Quote from: other passenger
I think he thinks it's just come back from the olympics

 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 01, 2016, 06:22:30 pm
Staying with railways, the bloke pushing the snack trolley on the Leicester to Mordor train this Monday said to me, "I like your spots." No, he wasn't admiring my acne; I was wearing a (YACF) KotM jersey. He then proceeded to make complimentary remarks about the tan lines on my legs.  8) :o :P

On the same train there was a bloke walking up and down the gangway, cleaning his teeth – dressed in a pair of very muddy shorts (but his tan did not attract admiring comments) and a black and orange striped shirt, complete with tiger-hood and long, fluffy tail, down to the floor. Never again need you feel self-conscious about sweaty lycra in a public place.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on September 01, 2016, 10:41:12 pm
"Wowbagger!"

??? ? In Trinity Road, Southend?

No, it was no-one OTP but a former chess pupil, and a pretty decent player, whose name is Rhys Lloyd (although he may have spelt it differently), probably in his late 20s now, and he was sitting by the side of the road with an inverted bike. I was completely intrigued concerning how he knew my forum name, having completely forgotten that when he was of primary school age I introduced him and others to the joys of online chess, using FICS (Free Internet Chess Server) where my name was Wowbagger. We nattered for a while before I pottered off.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 01, 2016, 10:56:52 pm
But was the bike okay?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on September 01, 2016, 10:58:37 pm
Last week, as we did a Tour de Kent, from local youth near Canterbury: 'do a wheelie!' which I duly did.

Magnificently all the way down the street.

Of course, I had to have a little rest around the corner as my spine realigned itself. Ouch.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on September 02, 2016, 02:24:57 pm
But was the bike okay?

It was an oddity so far as I am concerned. It had quite large wheels with lots of spokes and fat tyres. It had a very small chain ring and a minuscule sprocket. A solitary brake lever led to the rear wheel, which was equipped with a freewheel. Everything was in stealth black.

Rhys told me that he had just built it and was having teething troubles. I think the rear tyre was rubbing on the frame. It was supposed to be a "jump bike" but I have to say that I don't really know what that is (*googles*). Ah. I see.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dman01 on September 07, 2016, 12:51:47 pm
A personal favourite of mine was whilst rolling past an enormously fat bloke balanced on a moped -
Last week, as we did a Tour de Kent, from local youth near Canterbury: 'do a wheelie!' which I duly did.

Magnificently all the way down the street.

Of course, I had to have a little rest around the corner as my spine realigned itself. Ouch.

Nice!  Were they suitably impressed?!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on September 07, 2016, 07:47:20 pm
I believe so. Though not half as impressed as I was. Nothing about my commutified BSO is light. It's made from a super-dense transuranic element that science has yet to discover.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 07, 2016, 08:11:56 pm
It's made from a super-dense transuranic element that science has yet to discover.

Depleted Sun monitors?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on September 07, 2016, 08:48:26 pm
That's quite possible, I once dropped a SparcStation monitor and I think it's still en route to the core of the Earth. I should have probably undertaken my adventure on one of the lighter bicycles, but then I remembered it's part of the NCN, so at some point I'd need something with more substance than Abrams main battle tank.

I should write up my adventure. There must be some place herein where such two-wheeled travelogues are recorded. The wonder of sun-broiled adventures along the Kentish coast. It's a bit crap admittedly compared to the round-the-world epics so maybe better I don't. Episode 26: Lost in Sittingbourne.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Joe.B on September 14, 2016, 10:03:16 am
I’ve recently had a dreadful experience of cycling in South Yorkshire, so different from my experience anywhere else in the UK that I shall certainly avoid ever cycling there in the future.

Having arrived by train into Doncaster at 2030 on a Thursday night I cycled (using quiet roads an much as possible), 14 miles to a pals house in Thurdcroft, about 6 miles East of Rotherham. The abuse I received from yobs in cars for simply being on the counties roads was relentless. I wasn’t keeping count but during that 1 hour ride I must have been sworn at from car windows several times. None of these cars ever got stuck behind me and I wasn’t riding primary and taking up half the lane, I has just having what I thought was going to be a pleasant evening ride. It wasn’t just cars either, on entering Thurcroft two children on the pavement decided that for being on a bike I should be called a ‘fag’.

My plan for the following morning was to carry on to Gainsborough and visit family there, taking a scenic route of just over 40 miles. I expected that my experience would be different in daylight but no. On this ride I had abuse hurled at me from 4 cars. The last one was in Retford, after passing through that town I seemed to re-enter the civilised world. In fact by the time I reached Gainsborough I was receiving the sort of reaction to the bent which I’m much more accustomed too, one teenager remarking ‘wow, that’s awesome’,  and a couple of builders turning round to say ‘look at that; how brilliant is that’.

Although I probably stood out on the bent I very much suspect that the people of South Yorkshire would have thrown abuse at me whatever bike I was riding.  I’ll certainly think twice before ever riding there again and if I had the money I might consider ask Donald Trump to build a wall round it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: nicknack on September 14, 2016, 12:24:53 pm
Episode 26: Lost in Sittingbourne.[/i]
Speaking as a native of that place (but now residing about 10 miles away), even I'm not sure where the NCN goes now. I believe it avoids the travellers site in Murston, so you no longer have to carry your bike for a couple of hundred yards to avoid the broken glass and stuff.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: pdm on September 14, 2016, 06:24:05 pm
I’ve recently had a dreadful experience of cycling in South Yorkshire, so different from my experience anywhere else in the UK that I shall certainly avoid ever cycling there in the future.

Sorry to hear of your experience! Rest assured, Yorkshire is a BIG place and you had the misfortune to land in what is probably the worst part of it! Personally, I steer clear of the part you mentioned - outside the Doncaster/Rotherham corridor and few of the ex colliery towns I have had very little trouble with abuse.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 14, 2016, 06:39:44 pm
"Alles klingen!" - kid onna BMX frantically ringing his bell at our group of under-equipped BRITISH cyclists as we passed on some Radweg or other.

You know you're in ABROAD when kids over the age of 8 have bells on their BMXes.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on September 14, 2016, 11:54:15 pm
Alice Klingon - Florence (of The Machine) re-invents herself?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on September 15, 2016, 10:46:01 pm
"Alles klingen!" - kid onna BMX frantically ringing his bell at our group of under-equipped BRITISH cyclists as we passed on some Radweg or other.

You know you're in ABROAD when kids over the age of 8 have bells on their BMXes.

My chum Mr G Thomas of Canuckistan and California still has the horn installed inside the DF velomobile he's running in Battle Mountain this year, and thus was able to offer a cheery "parp" to the timers as he went past at 55+ mph :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Auntie Helen on October 01, 2016, 05:38:18 pm
I have a horn in Penelope and a bell in Millie the Milan. The bell is much more effective as people on cycle paths tend to think a horn is for a scooter on the road so they can ignore it.

Riding a variety of recumbents means I get lots of comments from passers-by but generally positive ones. "Geiles Fahrrad!" is the most common (cool bike).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 01, 2016, 05:45:25 pm
If I had an electric car, I'd totally install a Mk 1 bicycle bell behind the not-a-radiator.  This would probably involve lots of arsing about to run a cable of some sort, but would be worth it for teh EPIC LOLZ when sneaking up on YACFers in stealth mode.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on October 01, 2016, 06:09:57 pm
The Tiger bell on my wheelchair has disintegrated. I so need a replacement!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on October 01, 2016, 06:20:37 pm
The Tiger bell on my wheelchair has disintegrated. I so need a replacement!

Really?  I never expected there to be many tigers in NW London.  Then again, considering the wildlife ian encounters in South London, I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on October 01, 2016, 06:35:45 pm
There's a http://www.tigerstores.co.uk (http://www.tigerstores.co.uk) branch on Finchley Road NW3 and another in North Finchley.
You did know that my cousin Philip runs this show, didn't you?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 02, 2016, 02:28:18 pm
It's dragons that be in south London, not tigers.  Tigers come from Indiah, as any fule kno.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 02, 2016, 03:01:11 pm
It's dragons that be in south London, not tigers.  Tigers come from Indiah, as any fule kno.

Apart from USAnian tourists visiting Africa, who seem notorious for escaping this factoid.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 02, 2016, 08:09:45 pm
Lions and Tigers, oh my ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jurek on October 03, 2016, 10:00:59 am
Last week some oik decided that the cycle track (not shared use) along Argall Way was a good place to stand and have a smoke - causing me to leave the track and take to the road to avoid a collision with him.
He became aware of this just as I dropped off the kerb, and apologetically said 'Oh! Sorry, sorry mate'.
I didn't reply, didn't give him The Look - I was too busy looking over my shouder to see if anything was going to mow me down in the road.
The next thing I heard was a tirade of 'Gerrafforrrkawwonaarrra!!!'  ending in 'Khhaaannn!!'  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on October 03, 2016, 10:41:53 am
Lions and Tigers, oh my ;D
You know how to push my buttons, Mr L:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPtBnhehPOU
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ruthie on October 07, 2016, 04:59:53 am
A man of about 30-ish on a bike overtook me last night and shouted 'dickhead'! as he went past.  No idea what that was about as I was riding on an empty road and had made no manoeuvres for ages.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on October 07, 2016, 08:14:51 am
Absence of helmet possibly ?  (I have no idea if you were wearing one or not.)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jsabine on October 07, 2016, 08:31:19 am
I'd just interpret that as burgeoning self-awareness.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fuzzy (retd.) AAGE on October 07, 2016, 09:32:29 am
A man of about 30-ish on a bike overtook me last night and shouted 'dickhead'! as he went past.  No idea what that was about as I was riding on an empty road and had made no manoeuvres for ages.

Just introducing himself?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ruthie on October 07, 2016, 10:16:16 am
Absence of helmet possibly ?  (I have no idea if you were wearing one or not.)

Nope, no helmet.  I wonder if he usually shouts things like that at women as old as his mum  ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 07, 2016, 11:00:44 am
Telling you he'd just moved up north from Billericay?

Eta: In case of offended Billericatians, I'm thinking of Billericay Dickie.
Note for Wowbagger: This is a reference to a song by Ian Dury, Essex's third most famous Popular Beat Combo after Bobb and William Byrd.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 07, 2016, 11:06:53 am
On the way home from the pub last night, where I'd had only one pint, there was a couple on foot in front of me who'd clearly both had far more. Quiet residential street, bloke is standing in the road with his back to me flipping something in the air and catching it. Well, flipping it in the air anyway. There was plenty of room to go round him, no problem. Woman was a little way in front of him, looking at him and staggering around, she saw me approaching and yelled at him, "There's a cyclist! There's a cyclist! Stand still! Get out of the way! Don't move! There's a cyclist!" She must have drunk a few pints of exclamation marks and was vomiting them up. I rode round them and she said "Thank you!" whether for not riding into either of them or for providing some form of live entertainment on their way home I'm not sure.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Guy on October 07, 2016, 11:19:42 am
I suppose that's better than "Pedestrian in road didn't know which way to run, so I rode into him"   ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dave_C on October 07, 2016, 11:57:48 am
I’ve recently had a dreadful experience of cycling in South Yorkshire, so different from my experience anywhere else in the UK that I shall certainly avoid ever cycling there in the future.

....acknowledged but cut out for shortness....
....

A few years ago I rode a 400km Audax through Maybole in Ayrshire. I hada similar experience, on my bent, shouted at by ioyks in their cars. But then a year later I rode through again, same AUdax, but on my diamond frame bike and received no comments.

On my bent I usually receive positive comments from young uns like Wow, and Cool.... So maybe if you head back again you will receive a different perspective?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: paul851 on October 10, 2016, 07:49:18 am
The very helpful motorcyclist who bothered to stop on the opposite side of the road on Sunday as 3 of us crawled up Waddington fell on the Season of Mists Audax to tell us to "ride in single file otherwise we would die" even though we were riding in single file ?

Paul
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Whitedown Man on October 10, 2016, 08:26:24 am
Not an oik (a well-spoken old man) and not shouted (he spoke quietly and politely) but I think it counts. I was stopped for a sarnie when said man parked beside me and got out to use the same shop. He walked up to me and said "I passed you a little while ago. You really should wear 'hi viz' - you're very hard to see without it". I was wearing a white jacket over a white jersey. I pointed out (equally politely) that white is the most high visibility colour in the spectrum, but he just looked confusedly at me and walked on.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on October 10, 2016, 01:41:02 pm
<pedant>
When was white in the spectrum?

Green OTOH is the most visible light in the spectrum.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Dave_C on October 26, 2016, 10:32:31 am
*** Role Reversal ***

Cyclists Shouting Stuff at Oiks

Spotted an Oik on a BMX, hoody, jeans, no lights, reflective or head gear.

Me lastnight riding home in the dark "Oi!! Get some Effin lights!!"

Oik "eh.....??"

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on November 06, 2016, 06:34:26 pm
On Friday I donated a substantially volumed "Tosser!" to an oncoming rider on CS2 around Tower Hill, who decided to weave through crossing pedestrians against a red light.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 18, 2016, 04:39:44 pm
Kim rounds corner on the psyclepath to spot a group of schoolkids trying to ignite an aerosol and flamethrower a wooden signpost.
Oik 1 spots Kim:
"Hey, have you seen this trick?"  *fails to ignite aerosol in Kim's general direction*
"Many times.  It works better if you aim it downwind."
"..."
"...Actually, there's a racist sticker on a lamp post back there, why don't you go and burn that?"
"... ..."
Kim rides off, having done her bit for corrupting today's yoof.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Phil W on November 18, 2016, 04:54:06 pm
Not an oik (a well-spoken old man) and not shouted (he spoke quietly and politely) but I think it counts. I was stopped for a sarnie when said man parked beside me and got out to use the same shop. He walked up to me and said "I passed you a little while ago. You really should wear 'hi viz' - you're very hard to see without it". I was wearing a white jacket over a white jersey. I pointed out (equally politely) that white is the most high visibility colour in the spectrum, but he just looked confusedly at me and walked on.

And I would have responded, I am you should have gone to Specsavers
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on November 18, 2016, 09:49:02 pm
Telling you he'd just moved up north from Billericay?

Eta: In case of offended Billericatians, I'm thinking of Billericay Dickie.
Note for Wowbagger: This is a reference to a song by Ian Dury, Essex's third most famous Popular Beat Combo after Bobb and William Byrd.

I'll have you know, if you didn't already, that not only was I born in Billericay but also that I am a great admirer of the late Dury I. Some time about 1980, when I was the sole music teacher in a boys' sec mod, I invited the kids at the end of term to bring in their choice of music. I am pleased to say that no senior staff were within earshot when the melodic strains of Plaistow Patricia wafted their way out of the lo-fi with which my music room was ill-equipped.

I also think you might like to revise your top Essex pbcs, as Dr. Feelgood and Procul Harum are also from around these parts. Not to mention Suzi Quatro* and Barrington Pheloung.

*resident very close to the Compasses, Littley Green, spiritual home of the MEMW reprobates.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on November 18, 2016, 09:57:20 pm
Last night I had to give a verbal warning to someone who had stumbled onto CS2.  As I passed his group a few (all?) of them shouted "Oggie oggie oggie!"  I did the only sensible thing, and replied "Oi oi oi!".  :D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: SteveC on November 19, 2016, 01:54:40 pm
I had 'flat tyre, flat tyre, flat tyre' ad nauseam delivered in a rather weird monotone from one a group of schoolboys the other day.
The whole thing was a bit weird, to be honest.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Phil W on November 19, 2016, 06:25:44 pm
The Tiger bell on my wheelchair has disintegrated. I so need a replacement!

I had a tiger horn on my bike a few years back. Used it in a park and two old ladies looked up into the sky and exclaimed, "well I can't see the geese " used horn again "well I still can't see them..."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wycombewheeler on November 20, 2016, 10:13:23 pm
It's dragons that be in south London, not tigers.  Tigers come from Indiah, as any fule kno.

Apart from USAnian tourists visiting Africa, who seem notorious for escaping this factoid.
I heard they were in Kenya
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbYtASAakAI
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on November 21, 2016, 09:29:57 am
Lions and Tigers, oh my ;D
You know how to push my buttons, Mr L:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPtBnhehPOU

:)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Oaky on November 21, 2016, 09:59:13 am
Note for Wowbagger: This is a reference to a song by Ian Dury, Essex's third most famous Popular Beat Combo after Bobb and William Byrd.

I also think you might like to revise your top Essex pbcs, as Dr. Feelgood and Procul Harum are also from around these parts. Not to mention Suzi Quatro* and Barrington Pheloung.

You mis-spelled Depeche Mode and Nitzer Ebb (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitzer_Ebb).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on December 05, 2016, 08:44:12 am
From quite a few this morning...."like your tree!"

(cf the fettle thread)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on December 08, 2016, 06:49:40 am
Collected one from a bike-mounted policeman last night - does that count as a super-oik?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on December 08, 2016, 08:27:25 am
Thank would be 'oink' shouting stuff at cyclist.  ;)


With apologies to forumites who work(ed) for of the constabulary.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: matthew on December 16, 2016, 05:50:11 pm
Quote
You'll get yourself killed

From the gent in his late 70s who had just gotten off the bus.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on January 12, 2017, 10:31:58 am
Smoking taxi driver standing outside his vehicle with the engine left running pointed out I wasn't wearing a magic hat  :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on January 17, 2017, 04:10:03 pm
"Your shoelace is undone!"

It wasn't.  How droll.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: madcow on January 17, 2017, 05:05:01 pm
Telling you he'd just moved up north from Billericay?

Eta: In case of offended Billericatians, I'm thinking of Billericay Dickie.
Note for Wowbagger: This is a reference to a song by Ian Dury, Essex's third most famous Popular Beat Combo after Bobb and William Byrd.

I'll have you know, if you didn't already, that not only was I born in Billericay but also that I am a great admirer of the late Dury I. Some time about 1980, when I was the sole music teacher in a boys' sec mod, I invited the kids at the end of term to bring in their choice of music. I am pleased to say that no senior staff were within earshot when the melodic strains of Plaistow Patricia wafted their way out of the lo-fi with which my music room was ill-equipped.

I also think you might like to revise your top Essex pbcs, as Dr. Feelgood and Procul Harum are also from around these parts. Not to mention Suzi Quatro* and Barrington Pheloung.

*resident very close to the Compasses, Littley Green, spiritual home of the MEMW reprobates.

You forgotted  Depeche Mode , originating from Basildon.  htps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depeche_Mode (http://htps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depeche_Mode)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonyh on January 18, 2017, 11:09:37 am
Young person (13?) in procession coming out of school. Not unpleasantly (in fact cheered me up):

"You're too old to be riding a bike!"

And me not 75 till next month.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 24, 2017, 07:19:10 pm
Telling you he'd just moved up north from Billericay?

Eta: In case of offended Billericatians, I'm thinking of Billericay Dickie.
Note for Wowbagger: This is a reference to a song by Ian Dury, Essex's third most famous Popular Beat Combo after Bobb and William Byrd.

I'll have you know, if you didn't already, that not only was I born in Billericay but also that I am a great admirer of the late Dury I. Some time about 1980, when I was the sole music teacher in a boys' sec mod, I invited the kids at the end of term to bring in their choice of music. I am pleased to say that no senior staff were within earshot when the melodic strains of Plaistow Patricia wafted their way out of the lo-fi with which my music room was ill-equipped.

I also think you might like to revise your top Essex pbcs, as Dr. Feelgood and Procul Harum are also from around these parts. Not to mention Suzi Quatro* and Barrington Pheloung.

*resident very close to the Compasses, Littley Green, spiritual home of the MEMW reprobates.

You forgotted  Depeche Mode , originating from Basildon.  htps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depeche_Mode (http://htps://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depeche_Mode)
I simply didn't know Depeche Mode were from Essex (though it certainly fits). Wowbagger might shy away from them because of their alleged far-right sympathies (https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/feb/24/richard-spencer-depeche-mode-are-not-the-official-band-of-the-alt-right) (which actually seem to be far-right sympathies for kinky sadomasochistic sex... ).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: SoreTween on March 07, 2017, 11:17:37 pm
Plodding gently up an incline this evening something lent out of a passing car to advise: 'Oi darling, if you go any slower you'll be going backwards!'

Now normally I wouldn't give the opinion of this insect any more thought than I give the opinion of the insects under rocks, in the bushes or flying above my head.  But on this occasion the insect amused me.  Having left my gym gear behind this morning I'd travelled at a good warmup pace back to digs then back to town & gym.  After a 45 minute spin class pinging the rev limiter I spent a further 45 minutes investigating the constant watts program on another bike in zone 4-5.

Mr Insect has probably rarely been so accurate.

 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on March 08, 2017, 08:16:28 am
Me, yesterday, when passed with about 1" clearance by a racing snake in Richmond Park.

"Closer please!"

"What"

"Can you get closer next time ?"

"Mumble mumble"

"You were too close."

"Where's your helmet ?"

"OH FUCK OFF."

I chased him down (I was out for a slow pootle) and took issue with him on this. His response ?

"I'm a professional bike rider. I know what I'm doing."

Twat.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on March 08, 2017, 08:36:35 am
Which professional team? Knowing which one would be good for their PR.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Guy on March 08, 2017, 08:44:59 am
Aren't couriers professional cyclists? They get paid to ride bikes.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on March 08, 2017, 08:46:09 am
Which professional team? Knowing which one would be good for their PR.
Sadly no team strip.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hatler on March 08, 2017, 08:47:21 am
Aren't couriers professional cyclists? They get paid to ride bikes.
Fair point. He might have said 'racer' and not 'rider'. He certainly didn't look like a bike courier.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Guy on March 08, 2017, 09:11:56 am
Courier on a day off?

If a dustman I know can refer to himself as a "Domestic Hygiene Engineer" :sick: then a courier might well regard himself as a professional cyclist
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: caerau on March 08, 2017, 10:07:16 am
He's still a twat.  A professional attitude is to not 'order' people who you don't know anything about, about.
Glad you told him to fuck off.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Whitedown Man on March 08, 2017, 10:14:52 am
Re. Richmond Park, outside of rush hour (which is a hell all of its own) I reckon I get more close passes from other cyclists than from drivers - it's getting to the point that I'm thinking about avoiding the park at weekends. The experience is rapidly approaching the point Box Hill reached 3 or 4 years ago.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on March 09, 2017, 09:39:37 am
Which professional team? Knowing which one would be good for their PR.
Sadly no team strip.

Then he isn't a pro.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bikey-mikey on March 10, 2017, 12:42:15 am
Why must the whole team take off their clothes?? Or have I missed something?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: TigaSefi on March 10, 2017, 09:18:17 am
Which professional team? Knowing which one would be good for their PR.
Sadly no team strip.

Then he isn't a pro.

Drops women cyclists wear their entire outfit when going around Kent/Richmond Park. I spotted 3 in the wild so pros will wear their outfit.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on March 10, 2017, 09:26:00 am
Given the issues about air quality and the noticeable difference in the evening, I've taken to riding as much as I can away from traffic, and using paths etc.

On the Channelsea Path (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.5353738,-0.0019473,272m/data=!3m1!1e3) lsat night (which is very often completely empty) I was coming up behind a mother and two kids so gave a ding on my bell.

As I was going past one (the 7 year old?) shouted at me "You should only ring the bell if you want to get off"

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Riggers on March 17, 2017, 09:15:22 am
Me, yesterday, when passed with about 1" clearance by a racing snake in Richmond Park.

"Closer please!"

"What"

"Can you get closer next time ?"

"Mumble mumble"

"You were too close."

"Where's your helmet ?"

"OH FUCK OFF."

I chased him down (I was out for a slow pootle) and took issue with him on this. His response ?

"I'm a professional bike rider. I know what I'm doing."

Twat.

Well done Hatters. Good on you Sir. "Where's your helmet?" What a knob. It's up to an individual what they wear, and I say to people who, when they ask me "I hope you wear a helmet", what a sorry state we're in that we, as cyclists, feel the weight of social guilt and must 'protect ourselves' because "Cycling's dangerous", when it's car drivers who have made the roads more dangerous, and if cyclists received more protection from the law, the perception of cycling = dangerous, would diminish. Professional bike rider – well bloody act like one. He could have just said: "I apologise, I'm sorry."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rower40 on March 21, 2017, 09:09:27 pm
"Sign says 'Cyclists Dismount'" was mumbled at me yesterday morning.
I didn't stop to discuss the legality of the sign, partly because it was raining, but mostly because the mumbler was clutching his open can of Scrumpy Jack.  At 0745 on a Monday.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 21, 2017, 11:19:27 pm
I heard an unseen person (presumably in a car nearby - I couldn't see because, again, it was raining) shout "cycle lane" this afternoon.  Presumably directed at me, as I stopped in primary position behind the car in front of me at red traffic lights.  There was indeed a cycle lane, feeding an ASL, which I might have bothered with if there had been more than one car in front of me.

I suppose it means someone's paying attention to road markings.  Hopefully they'll move onto double white lines and box junctions next...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: handcyclist on March 22, 2017, 09:27:46 am
''nwaar alr gutter ite"

At least that's what I thought at first.

It took about 10 seconds for my audio enhancement fu to work out it might have ended in the words 'rear light'.
Which, it turned out, was indeed dark. Dumbass dynolight design that needs a battery  ::-).

So not a git at all really ........
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on March 24, 2017, 09:10:52 am
"Oy! You bugger onna bike!"

But I don't think he heard me, so I turned around and chased Andrij to make sure he heard  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: DuncanM on March 27, 2017, 11:25:56 am
On Cowley road on Sunday not long after leaving the cafe stop at Peleton Cafe - 2 riders riding side by side through the 20 zone.
"Learn to ride a bike FFFF"
Shouted by an angry man driving a Corsa (out of the passenger window across his child passenger).  ::-)
Who then stopped at the queue of traffic near Divinity road while I cruised past in the cycle lane so I could turn off. I contented myself with laughing at him - I don't know whether my riding companion did likewise.

It's such a stupid request. Clearly we have both mastered the art of riding bicycles. At least an instruction to learn the highway code would make sense (even if it would provide an answer he doesn't like).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Joe.B on April 02, 2017, 07:48:16 pm
Yesterday, descending a fast hill down into Garelochead village at about 40mph I enter the 30 zone but keep the speed on as I know that I’ll soon be ascending a steep little hill that will take all my speed off.

Right behind me all the way down is a 4x4, once the road is clear ahead, and while we are both already speeding in the 30 zone he overtakes me.

2 minutes later in the Spar shop driver of said 4x4 points out that I was speeding coming into the village.  ::-) 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: pumpkin on April 03, 2017, 08:36:57 am
Cycling thro' Haslingden in Rossendale the other week. I pull up at a set of lights and a youth (early teens) across the road tells me that I have 'no knob' Not sure how he has deduced this but I asked him if he had been peeping and then I laughed. He then gave me the usual abuse and I commented as I set off there was a lot of inbreeding in the area. Cue more abuse but he entertained me on a Sunday am
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bikey-mikey on April 03, 2017, 11:59:38 pm
Yesterday, descending a fast hill down into Garelochead village at about 40mph I enter the 30 zone but keep the speed on as I know that I’ll soon be ascending a steep little hill that will take all my speed off.

Right behind me all the way down is a 4x4, once the road is clear ahead, and while we are both already speeding in the 30 zone he overtakes me.

2 minutes later in the Spar shop driver of said 4x4 points out that I was speeding coming into the village.  ::-)

Simple answer is to tell him the speed limit only applies to motorised vehicles..... which is of course true...

This knowledge came from the Queens Council (Senior barrister) who handled my legal case... and was backed up by the junior barrister he had in tow (who only had ten years experience)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ianrauk on April 19, 2017, 10:17:26 pm
I've been enjoying reading this thread and it reminds me of a classic I heard a few years back.
I was tacking up Bromley Hill behind a racing snake roadie. We got to the junction at the top of the hill when a small hatch full of Yoof pulled up beside us. Passenger shouted to the roadie "Oi, are you gay?" to which the roadie, quick as a flash replied with "Not when I'm fcuking your mum".
Did I laugh? You betchya.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Phil W on April 19, 2017, 10:24:03 pm
Easter Arrow last Friday. Kid shouts "Does that have a motor?"  (my recumbent)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fboab on April 20, 2017, 10:36:03 am
"Are you French?"

Somewhere, on another cycling forum, someone is posting that a fat bird on a bike muttered this at him as he hugged the right hand side of the cycle path when they passed going in opposite directions.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Karla on April 20, 2017, 11:24:22 am
"Are you French?"

Somewhere, on another cycling forum, someone is posting that a fat bird on a bike muttered this at him as he hugged the right hand side of the cycle path when they passed going in opposite directions.

Another cycling forum?  Nah, that one closed a while ago.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: MikeFromLFE on April 20, 2017, 12:53:17 pm
Crawling up a hill within earshot of a playground:- "Keep going granddad"


Tapatalk puts this signature here, not me!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on April 20, 2017, 03:02:14 pm
My response to "Where's your helmet?" is "On the end of my cock."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: handcyclist on April 21, 2017, 08:12:31 pm
Riding in ordinary dress on an old MTB taking an order to the Post Office, widish road, passed by a private cab, whose male youff occupant charms me with 'Slow cunt' and a wanker sign.

Weird - no conflict, no slowing of cab, decent pass - and very depressing. What is it about being on a bike that makes a young man shout at an older one for no reason other than bullying?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 21, 2017, 08:22:56 pm
Young men will shout at anything unusual.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Marco Stefano on April 22, 2017, 04:07:00 pm
Good Oik: on a recumbent riding towards Feltwell, 'Sick! Cool bike!' from a couple of young teens, which elicited a grin and a cheery wave.

Bad Oik: riding out the other side of Feltwell, a middle aged woman retrieving her wheelie bin from the verge on the other side of the road, 'You should have a flag on that, you're not very visible.'

Took me a few seconds to realise what she had said to me from 20 yards away, with me on a bike in full sun with a white frame, red and yellow and reflective Arkel rackpack and dynamo lights on front and rear. Since her bin was grey and only about 4 feet tall, it's a wonder she could find it again.   ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 22, 2017, 05:56:29 pm
Meanwhile I had the first "What the FUCK is that?!?" of the season...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: woollypigs on April 22, 2017, 06:04:23 pm
I had "what is that?" today and a few days ago I had "I like your flags"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: aidan.f on April 22, 2017, 09:50:52 pm
We had," aww how romantic" from one of a group of young uns. We were riding Rufus, our tandem trike. He got a compliment back.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: essexian on May 01, 2017, 07:57:36 am
Not really sure if this fits here but hey ho....

Yesterday was the annual Katherine House Hospice sponsored cycle rides. There are four routes including a 65 and 45 mile effort. I set off to do the longer ride but the wind was too strong for me so I bottled out and took the easy effort.

Anyway, after about 14 miles, the route of both the longer rides take the riders out from Eccleshall along the back roads to Bishops Offley. Its quite a wide road for a back road if a little lumpy: looking at Strava, I averaged around 14mph including the climb up to the petrol station in the village.

It was here that I heard part of a conversation between a car driver and the marshals at the water stop. The part I heard was the marshal explaining that: "I am sorry, I have no control over the speed of the cyclists." My guess is that the car driver was complaining about the speed some of the fast boys were going.

What made me smile about this was the type of car being driven by the complainant: yes, a BMW M5.  Okay, I am stereotyping here, but not a car known to be driven slowly.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bikey-mikey on May 01, 2017, 09:55:56 pm
Not really sure if this fits here but hey ho....

Yesterday was the annual Katherine House Hospice sponsored cycle rides. There are four routes including a 65 and 45 mile effort. I set off to do the longer ride but the wind was too strong for me so I bottled out and took the easy effort.

Anyway, after about 14 miles, the route of both the longer rides take the riders out from Eccleshall along the back roads to Bishops Offley. Its quite a wide road for a back road if a little lumpy: looking at Strava, I averaged around 14mph including the climb up to the petrol station in the village.

It was here that I heard part of a conversation between a car driver and the marshals at the water stop. The part I heard was the marshal explaining that: "I am sorry, I have no control over the speed of the cyclists." My guess is that the car driver was complaining about the speed some of the fast boys were going.

What made me smile about this was the type of car being driven by the complainant: yes, a BMW M5.  Okay, I am stereotyping here, but not a car known to be driven slowly.

I'd guess he was surely complaining about the SLOW boys speed....
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 01, 2017, 11:43:34 pm
I had something that amounted to "What are you doing in the road?" earlier.  For the avoidance of doubt, I was riding a bicycle.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on June 12, 2017, 10:29:13 pm
Cycling home from Gatwick, having spent a few days in a land where they have presumed liability and drive their cars with unbelievable amounts of care around cyclists, I heard a car approach from behind and slow down as it passed me. I was primed for a rude re-introduction to cycling in the UK. The passenger window was down. The driver spoke:

"That's a really nice bike."

A good end to my trip.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: gibbo on June 14, 2017, 08:14:20 am
Out the other night going through Stowmarket and heading towards Ipswich when my group, 8 of us going reasonably fast doing chain-gang stylie, went past a bunch of yoofs sitting on MTBs who shouted something derogatory at us (don't know what, too much wind noise). Our collective response was eff off. These lads, not to look small in front of the girls there, I suspect, took exception to this and got on their bikes and chased us, shouting and hollering all the way, for about a mile before eventually giving up. It has to be said they did pretty well for a short while, much to our amusement.

Not that they would have caught us but was wondering what would have happened if they had.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 16, 2017, 06:10:32 pm
"[INAUDIBLE] velocipede!" - posh sounding man in a Volkswagen.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: trekker12 on June 26, 2017, 12:59:39 pm
Riding uphill a week or so ago, a pair of riders on carbon bling were riding down in the opposite direction.

"it's easier downhill" the leader shouted in my direction.

No 5hit Sherlock!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Canardly on June 26, 2017, 01:04:24 pm
Some cockwomble at York rally Sat morning 4:15am, at top of voice. 'Hello campers!'
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 26, 2017, 01:24:06 pm
Not an oik but a well-intentioned middle-aged woman, in a car waiting to pull out of the side street I'd just turned into:
– [something inaudible but in a polite tone]
– <I look at her quizzically>
– Your light's on.
– [explanation of dodgy switch]
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 26, 2017, 01:56:02 pm
Yesterday at dusk, at the junction of two quiet country lanes, I spied another cyclist, not going anywhere. He didn't appear to have a puncture or any mechanical problem, as he was sitting astride his bike but not moving. He did look lost or as if he was unsure of where to go, where he was, what to do. So I asked him if was ok and his reply was... "Yes, thanks, I'm just blowing my nose!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ham on August 01, 2017, 10:51:46 am
Shouting by proxy...

The Canary - reading the bottom of the Internet so you don't have to

https://www.thecanary.co/2017/07/31/daily-mail-readers-losing-their-rags-over-cyclists-will-brighten-up-your-monday-images/
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on August 01, 2017, 05:36:55 pm
I confess I avoid the bottom of the internet, even accidentally dipping below the line on a Guardian article is the mental equivalent of inadvertently stepping in a puddle of someone else's lukewarm piss. With bare feet.
 
I didn't even want to contemplate the the festering volcano of bile that bubbles away under the bottom of a Daily Mail article. They're not right are they? I dunno, I pity them. Most of us get off on being pleasant and generous people, happy to take a little joy from doing something useful, lending a helping hand. That bunch, well, the epitome of their day seems to be calling people they don't even know a cunt on the internet or wishing them dead or some other odious sentiment. It's pathetic. That's the best they can do.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on August 04, 2017, 10:27:49 am
Shouting by proxy...

The Canary - reading the bottom of the Internet so you don't have to

https://www.thecanary.co/2017/07/31/daily-mail-readers-losing-their-rags-over-cyclists-will-brighten-up-your-monday-images/

Was that the one that compared cyclists to ISIS?  If so, I saw that one courtesy of Wascally Weasel otp after four hours of feeding hundreds of happy, cheerful1 and thoroughly non-murderous LEL riders.  It made me want to kill someone utterly to DETH, namely Paul Dacre.

1: Admittedly they hadn't ridden over Yad Moss even once at that stage.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: handcyclist on August 06, 2017, 03:03:37 pm
"Idiot"

 ???

By the driver of a Golf that had just overtaken me 15 feet from a blind left hand bend on a narrow B road.

Yes I was in the primary, mainly to try and give fuckwits behind some idea that his manoeuvre could have been a bit on the risky side. That didn't work then ......
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 10, 2017, 06:56:40 pm
"Faaaaassstest ma...oh, woman...on the rooooaaad!"

Not really, no.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: essexian on August 27, 2017, 08:07:30 am
I had a van driver tell me to "Smile" yesterday as he drove past me as I stood in a bush on the side of the road to allow his overlarge vehicle to progress down the single track road we were both using.

"Smile".......???? I don't smile when cycling!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fd3 on August 28, 2017, 11:36:24 pm
Not had shouting in ages. 
In reverse, what (if anything) do you holler out to fellow cyclists when you are on foot or in a car?  Nice bike?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si S on August 29, 2017, 09:33:15 am
I got 'fuckin slapper bitch' from a yoof onna BSO on the towpath yesterday, which was brave considering he was on the water side
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 29, 2017, 01:10:14 pm
Not had shouting in ages. 
In reverse, what (if anything) do you holler out to fellow cyclists when you are on foot or in a car?  Nice bike?

"Cyclewankers!"

(But only to cyclists who know me.)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 18, 2017, 07:13:55 pm
"I've seen that on Youtube!"

Where?  Where are all those videos going?

*has a thought*

*searches Youtube for "sick bike"*

Nope, too obvious.   ???
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on November 01, 2017, 02:10:19 am
Riding to work at about 2015 hrs. Group of about six young teens, who run across the road to try and kick the wheels out from under me.

Stop and smack one of them? And get arrested? Or likely stabbed?

Pedalled harder.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Ashaman42 on November 01, 2017, 06:52:32 am
Little shits. I think you picked the best option but sad that you had to.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 01, 2017, 12:35:53 pm
Ramming speed.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: rogerzilla on November 01, 2017, 05:46:08 pm
Got called a "fucking dickhead" by a high-spirited chav in the passenger seat of a white car just for being on the road*.  I called him a twat and we exchanged hand gestures.  It's best not to reason with them.

*I think he was annoyed because I was doing 30mph and keeping up with the van in front, instead of wobbling along the gutter at roadkill speed
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 14, 2017, 05:56:04 pm
The passenger of a van leant his whole head out the window, then his hand too. "High five!" he yelled as he passed me. Admittedly I was on foot at the time, waiting for the lights to change so I could cross the road.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on December 10, 2017, 06:29:09 pm
Friday night, I was pushing my bike through the subway in Horley. The bike is festive season compliant and bears a string of blinken LEDs. A proto oik, aged 10 or 11, accompanied by his mother came towards mem
"Wow, that is a cool bike bro!". Much smiling from all involved.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on December 12, 2017, 01:29:51 am
Is that the one under the railway signposted 'London-Paris"?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Tim Hall on December 12, 2017, 08:16:27 pm
Is that the one under the railway signposted 'London-Paris"?
The very same.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: markcjagar on December 13, 2017, 06:04:02 pm
an oik shouted "on your bike" at me tonight whilst I was waiting at a red light, on my bike...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on December 14, 2017, 12:42:12 am
Is that the one under the railway signposted 'London-Paris"?
The very same.

I remember walking my bike through there once, and on the East side I met another cyclist coming through, walking his bike as I was. We moved next to the wall to keep the path clear, as we had a chat, and someone walking through decided to stop and inform us, at length, that there was no cycling allowed in the subway and that all cyclists are cnuts.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: arabella on December 14, 2017, 08:27:21 am
"Wear a hat"
so I wiggles my eyebrows.  yup, slightly off-white hand knitted arran woolly hat still in place, with flaxen tresses flowing out behind*.
 ??? ??? ???

*may include some 'poetic licence'
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jakob W on December 14, 2017, 09:14:17 am
Maybe they meant the magic protective kind?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: cygnet on December 14, 2017, 04:24:38 pm
One of these then?
(https://images.footballfanatics.com/FFImage/thumb.aspx?i=/productimages/_2422000/altimages/ff_2422159alt2_full.jpg&w=2000)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on December 14, 2017, 09:45:19 pm
 ;D  cygnet conquers the cycling bit of the Interwebs!   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: cygnet on December 14, 2017, 10:15:48 pm
 :D
I'm tempted to get one.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bikey-mikey on December 14, 2017, 11:57:49 pm
One of these then?
(https://images.footballfanatics.com/FFImage/thumb.aspx?i=/productimages/_2422000/altimages/ff_2422159alt2_full.jpg&w=2000)

I’d like one of those, provided I can see it’s BSEN1078 certificate  :smug:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on December 15, 2017, 12:08:20 am
Want.  :)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 20, 2017, 11:05:30 am
What's wrong with people that they behave this way? Midnight on a Saturday just before Christmas, the city centre is full of drunken revellers and when a lycra-clad cyclist rides by... no one says anything!!!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonyh on December 20, 2017, 11:07:14 am
 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: madcow on December 24, 2017, 08:12:58 pm
Today out on a rural lane near home, a cyclist ( a proper cyclist in lycra  not just a nutter on a BSO) told Mrs. M to "Fuck off ".
Fortunately for him,I was some way ahead of her or he would have been beating any strava segment known to man with me chasing him.
As he had passed me earlier ,I can just about remember what he looked like.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: clarion on December 27, 2017, 09:24:48 am
What's wrong with people that they behave this way? Midnight on a Saturday just before Christmas, the city centre is full of drunken revellers and when a lycra-clad cyclist rides by... no one says anything!!!
I am shocked, no, appalled by the dreadful drop in standards.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on December 27, 2017, 01:20:36 pm
Indeed. I remember setting off at around 2230 hrs one Friday to ride the 12 miles from Newcastle Central Station to my mother's, which entailed going past the Bigg Market of sub-zero semi-nudity fame. In a Foska Bones jacket.

That was far more traditionally responded to.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: TJG on December 28, 2017, 07:16:24 pm
"Reindeer!"  Which confused me somewhat but I double checked anyway and I have not grown a set of antlers, was not pulling a sleigh and despite the weather my nose was not glowing red!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Phil Fouracre on January 20, 2018, 10:27:27 am
Not all comments are bad! Cycling with the missus a while ago through our local village, on full suss mtbs, converted to ebikes. A group of lads, on assorted bikes saw her, then as I approached, shouted 'hey! Cool bike, mate'. From a group of teens to a 63yr old! Made my day :-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: LiamFitz on February 24, 2018, 03:35:38 pm
Today out on a rural lane near home, a cyclist ( a proper cyclist in lycra  not just a nutter on a BSO) told Mrs. M to "Fuck off ".
Fortunately for him,I was some way ahead of her or he would have been beating any strava segment known to man with me chasing him.
As he had passed me earlier ,I can just about remember what he looked like.

Have you discovered Strava Flyby??? if you both had it, it could light your path to his front door...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on February 26, 2018, 04:23:34 pm
"You're a plonker!"

Well, you're a WVM.   >:(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 05, 2018, 04:58:39 pm
"...ROAD YOU TWAT!"

Another WVM.  *sighs*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: De Sisti on April 05, 2018, 05:23:08 pm
Fortunately for him,I was some way ahead of her or he would have been beating any strava segment known to man with me chasing him.
What would you have done? Asked him to apologise? ;)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si S on April 11, 2018, 06:32:49 am
'Stupid in a black jacket' from an oik barely out of nappies, the brain washing is complete
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: T42 on April 11, 2018, 07:00:35 am
Have to find it to wash it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: quixoticgeek on April 17, 2018, 11:52:00 pm

I've been riding a lot in Germany recently. On one ride, I'm riding along about 1m from the kerb, doing about 18kph into a headwind. Some motorist pulls along side, winds down the window, and shouts something unintelligible at me across the front of his much annoyed passenger.

I think he was suggesting I should have been riding on the pavement next to the road...

Fast forward a bit, and I'm in Southern Germany, riding along on a nice big road that in the UK would be an A road. On my right there is a 2-3m wide strip of tarmac that is a cycle way. Unfortunately where I joined this road, there was no break in the Armco barrier, meaning that for the last 3km I've been unable to get from the main road, over to the safer cycle lane. Eventually I find a gap in the Armco and can move across, but not before I've had a lot of beaping and a couple of people shouting at me. No idea what they were saying, Doppler effect, wind noise, and them speaking German, no idea...

Another day near by in Southern Germany, I'm riding along heading for my hotel for the night. As I ride it starts to rain, then the rain gets harder, and harder, and just as I'm starting to question if I should have bought a kayak, rather than a bike, it gets harder again. As I'm cycling along the road has started to tilt up, and up, and I go round a corner and pass the 15% incline sign. I'm on a fully loaded touring bike, I've already got quite a bit of distance under my belt, so eventually I stop and get off to walk. I'm pushing the bike up the hill. I get a few beeps from cars over taking. Then a white van pulls alongside me. The window winds down and he says something to me in German. I smile and point up the hill and say "der berg". The van pulls off, and then pulls across in front of me.

Oh crap. Did I say the wrong thing?

The engine shuts off.

Ut oh.

I hear the door open. Footsteps.

This can't be good...

He says hello, fumbles for his keys, and opens the back of the van. It's completely empty. He gestures forward to pick up the front of my bike. Oh. He's going to give me a lift up the hill! Win. I point at the mud on the bike and the carpet in the back of the van. He shakes his head, Kein Problem. Together we load the bike into the van.

I walk round to the passenger door. It's locked. The driver has got in and is fumbling with the keys. Utoh, is this infact the most audatious and blazen attempt to steal a bike? A few seconds later he spots that the door is locked, leans over and unlocks it. I climb in.

In silence we drive up the hill (which would have taken me hours to push the bike up), and he drops me next to the road I was about to turn onto that follows the railway track to Tuttlingen. I thank him profusely, wish him a safe journey, and wave him off, before getting on my bike and riding off*.

This is the second time in just over 3 months that a kind German stranger has given me and my bike a lift up a hill, the other a farmer drove off to find a trailer for his tractor, to come back and pick me up, before trafficing me up the hill, across the border, into France...

J

*Slightly pissing on the "yay, humans can be kind!" feeling I had as I rode down the valley, I did come across a house with a big confederate flag flying, as well as a selection of signs suggesting anyone approaching the property did so at substantial risk to their person...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: T42 on April 18, 2018, 01:31:27 pm
Quite a few times yesterday drivers in Baden stopped at intersections for us when they didn't need to. Up around Dahn we get no such consideration. The Pfalz is already a little more northerly.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 18, 2018, 01:37:23 pm
I find that sort of thing mostly comes down to what I'm riding.  When recumbents aren't triggering the testosterone giggles[1] or the GEROFFTHEFOOKINROAD-rage they can tap into a sort of cripspirational politeness.  Also, I reckon people will sometimes give way just to get a better look at what you're riding.

A trailer means you're on a mission, which gains you sympathy from surprising places (WVM and the like).

And a fully-laden touring bike means you're on an Adventure, which brings out the friendly and helpful in all sorts of people, especially when it's a Rule 9 situation.


[1] Is there a technical term for this behaviour (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2151169/)?  You know the one, where young males in groups are compelled to faux-laugh or shout 'witty' abuse at you in order to impress their mates.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on April 19, 2018, 06:43:42 pm
Lemming pedestrian, on finally spotting the cyclist (ie. me) slowing to a stop to let them cross:  "Jesus Christ!"
Me: "...on a bike?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 05, 2018, 06:29:34 pm
Random shouty man in car:  "STUPID CUNT!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on May 05, 2018, 06:40:57 pm
Random shouty man in car:  "STUPID CUNT!"

I hope you replied,  "Nice to meet you, Stupid,  I'm Kim."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 05, 2018, 06:50:13 pm
the testosterone giggles[1]

Today I learned that when a car full of oiks breaks out in this at a closing speed of about 60 miles an hour, the doppler effect results in a sound akin to the now legendary tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: mattc on May 06, 2018, 11:59:30 am
{this probably belongs in the White Van Man thread, but it seems a better fit here. And I can't find the other thread... ]

3 of us are ambling along a tiny, potholed gravelly lane in Norfolk (or Suffolk??), 100+ miles in our legs, the sun's out, all is good.

Fish delivery man appears at speed behind us. I thought to pull over for him, but I wasn't at the front, and our front rider decided not to bother, so there's no point in *me* pulling over ... so anyway ...

We "hold him up" for less than 2 minutes. Of course we're still doing 15mph-ish, so he's only really lost a few seconds on his precious schedule. It's the kind of road I would only drive my own car as last resort, and would do so very slowly. We get to a T-junction onto a better road, and stop at the white line. He pulls up and winds down the window:

Angry Man: Thankyou VERY much for [... some more sarcastic rambling ... etc... ] I've got deliveries to make. It's all right for you lot, out in the sun!
<Screeches off>

Us: <guffaws of laughter>

That parting line kept me amused for the next 40 miles. I assume it was just random ranting, but it made me happy to be outside, on my bike, and not inside, fuming at other people, about things that don't matter :)  :thumbsup:


[The next 40 miles of appalling fish puns were less of a morale boost - but no day is perfect.]

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 09, 2018, 08:09:42 pm
Random middle-aged woman:  "Good for your abs!"
Me (on low-racer recumbent): "No: Good for your quads!"
RMAW: "Those too!"
Me: *rides off boggling*

I've just realised, maybe she thought it was a handcycle?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: barakta on May 09, 2018, 09:17:22 pm
Lying down on the job == legs don't work.

People do that a lot with the trike too. When they're not accusing me of being a paralympian!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Steph on May 12, 2018, 04:50:32 am
On foot, not walking, but what the hell.

Set off about six Thursday evening for a pub quiz, and as I approach the parade of takeaways over the other side of the road I see a Spotty Oik run across to the kebabbery. His female companion is in the driving seat of their toy box, which is entirely within double yellows as it is blocking the entire footpath. I squeeze past, just, resisting the temptation to carry away a wing mirror, and say, mildly, "What are you going to do if someone with a pram comes along?"

A minute later, toy box comes speeding past, Oik all the way to his waist out of the passenger window, expressing his opinion about my sexual and onanistic habits, making helpful suggestions, and informing me that he has had intimate knowledge of my mother's genitalia. I had already clocked his number, naturally.

I pause while another car does a U-turn in front of me, and step forward to have words with that vehicle's driver and passenger. The two coppers in the marked traffic car in question take my name and workplace before disappearing smartly after a certain toy box.

Timing is important.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si S on May 12, 2018, 06:53:19 am
 :thumbsup:  ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tom_e on May 12, 2018, 07:15:17 am
I thought that sort of timing only happened in daydreams, not for real.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: T42 on May 12, 2018, 08:07:44 am
So perfect that I read it three times. :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Duckfoot1606 on May 12, 2018, 09:12:25 am
Every so often the stars line up to perfection 😂😂

A
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Johnny Faro on May 12, 2018, 07:11:11 pm
I've had that timing once. I was thankfully slowly away from the lights as a car came belting through across the junction through lights that had been red for at least 5 if not 10 seconds. I hesitate as there is a police car opposite me who lets me go as I have row then passed me to pursue car. I give it everything to see the results and the car even tried turning right at a no right turn but to no avail as at that point the lights lit up.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: jsabine on May 13, 2018, 02:34:34 am
I had it a while ago: I had priority circling a light-controlled roundabout, but the (driver of the) first car in the queue to my left decided to blow through those lights and cross in front of me.

As I'd already braked - hard - I decided I might as well let the second car go through as well, and was rewarded by seeing its blues go on as it came up close behind the first one.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 13, 2018, 10:54:32 am
Once got an ear-bashing from a motorcyclist in the Stoke Newington gyratory.  No idea what he was calling me because 25 mph and his full-face helmet rather muffled his words, but his weaving about caught the attention of the two big white-shirted lads in the stripy Astra behind us  ;D

I larrffed.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on May 13, 2018, 04:26:09 pm
Kim and barakta catch up with cycling nikki OTP in their anbaric motor car...

Kim: "It is nikki.  You know what to do?"
*barakta winds down window*
Barakta: "CYCLEWANKER!"
Nikki: "LESBIANS!"
Kim (nodding approvingly): "Fair."  *drives off in a puff of electrons*
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jakob W on May 13, 2018, 05:27:40 pm
^ Did LOL.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on May 13, 2018, 06:29:07 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Butterfly on May 13, 2018, 07:27:08 pm
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 22, 2018, 12:50:02 pm
Yesterday, while I was taking a photo of my bike next to a milestone just short of Halfway (actually a third of they way round my intended route – the place is named for being halfway between Hungerford and Newbury and/or Bristol and London), a big friendly toot and a smiley wave from the unrecognized driver of an Irish-registered (I think it was Irish) car. I'm afraid I only responded with a bemused stare, wondering if I was supposed to know them.
Title: Drunks vs Cyclists [moved to oiks]
Post by: Peat on June 27, 2018, 11:28:11 am
Moved to Oiks shouting at Cyclists thread.

Self moderated.
Title: Re: Drunks vs Cyclists
Post by: Andrij on June 27, 2018, 11:47:13 am
Nothing do to with drunks.  People are cnuts regardless of their alcohol intake.
Title: Re: Drunks vs Cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 27, 2018, 11:52:03 am
Normally it happens when you're on your bike, so the standard of debate is much lower. (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=1629.0)  Most drunken zombies are tragically amusing, but every now and then you get some that decide to play chicken or try to push you off or something.

All things being equal, I'd rather be harassed for being a cyclist than the usual alternatives.

I've not had much of the bloodycyclists/road tax/helmets stuff from non-randoms, thankfully.  Though I do get the usual rubbish about my bike being invisible.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peat on June 27, 2018, 11:59:00 am
I've had 3 verbal, I am loathed to say, 'attacks' in the past 5 days. Hell of a run.

Instance 1 -
Out celebrating the solstice last Thursday, circa 5am, a 60ish yr old shambles up to me (I was dressed in my 'cyclist' outfit) and proceeds to tell me about how cyclists hold him up when he drives to the shop, and that a cyclist swore at someone he knows. He then went on to ask why people over 30 ride bikes - they should get cars! Perhaps it was that I had been up riding all night, but my fuse was surprisingly short and I was fairly nasty to him - thus re-enforcing his view that we are scum, i presume. *sigh*

Instance 2 -
Friday. In my local pub, they know i ride bikes. Someone casually brought it up "I expect you've cycled further than that, Peat" blah blah. Then the landlord couldn't help himself and said how he'd been held up the other day (because there was no way to pass a bike because of the volume of traffic coming the other way - bikes fault, obviously) thus prompting a flood of abuse from the other patrons. All directed at me - "You lot....road tax.....helmets". I tried very hard to remain civil, when i felt my ears get hot (rage impending) I drank what was left in my glass and left.

Instance 3 -
On my way to the club run last night, waiting to pull out onto the main road. A career alcoholic (all the visible signs) on the pavement stops and leans down and squints at my bike, springs back and lets out a sarcastic "Ooooh, wooow! RESPECT mate!". I said "It's a nice colour, isn't it?" To which he replied "You lot a f***in pricks, I ........." I cut him off and assured him i'd raise his complaint at the next bicyclist meeting. Rode off.

Perhaps it's just an exceptionally bad run, but i've never been on the end of this volume of ire. I feel like it's just us and 'travellers' left as groups that can be openly derided without fear of  being labelled as some sort of '----ist'.  :facepalm:

/vent
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: PeteB99 on June 27, 2018, 12:02:34 pm
Locked my bike up outside the local supermarket yesterday. When i got back some idiot came up and started trying to tell me that my slick tyres were illegal and that he would report me  ::-)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: quixoticgeek on June 27, 2018, 08:39:52 pm
Locked my bike up outside the local supermarket yesterday. When i got back some idiot came up and started trying to tell me that my slick tyres were illegal and that he would report me  ::-)

I find in that situation the trick is to say "Please do, I'll wait until they arrive". Then watch as plod give them at least a caution for wasting police time...

J
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on June 27, 2018, 09:32:07 pm
I can understand people being ignorant of  a) how bicycle tyres work  and  b) what the laws concerning motor vehicle tyres do and don't apply to.  But to start off with anything more antagonistic than "Do you know your tyres are bald?"[1] is just being a cock.



[1] "Yeah, they're slicks, they're meant to be like that."
"What about grip?"
"They grip tarmac better than tyres with tread[2].  It's not like a car tyre which has to push water out of the way, because the pressure's much higher and the speeds are lower.  Bikes only need a tread for riding off-road."
"I don't believe you."
"You've got google in your pocket; use it."
(etc.)

[2] Absolutely no point using the correct term in this conversation.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: PeteB99 on June 28, 2018, 11:55:00 am
Yes - that was roughly how the conversation went - I've had more or less the same one a few times with the smokers in the cycle sheds at work.

This was the first guy (and it always seems to be a male) who wouldn't accept that he was wrong.

"I can report you you know"

Yeah - good luck with that.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si S on June 28, 2018, 01:19:15 pm
That's a conversation I don't do anymore, I think the last went something like:

"They're illegal, I could report you for that"
"Fuck off before I give you a valid reason to call the police"

Grumpy? Moi?

Last night I got something about helmets and filtering, it was difficult to make out, due to both the doppler effect and the fact the driver was leaning out the passenger window at 20mph  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peat on June 28, 2018, 02:02:39 pm
"But he MADE me drive dangerously, officer!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Duckfoot1606 on June 28, 2018, 02:03:14 pm
I’ve noticed I’m becoming far less tolerant as I get older, life is too short to waste time conversing politely with a thick as pig shit idiot.

“Use the cycle path” use the bus you half wit, we’ll all be safer if you do

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si S on June 28, 2018, 02:32:30 pm
^^ ooh, I like the "random infra-structure name" game.

Motorist driving past: CYCLEPATH

Cyclist catches driver at lights, knocks on window : CONCESSIONARY BYWAY

always makes me smile......small things, I know
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Graeme on June 28, 2018, 03:09:44 pm
I've had 3 verbal, I am loathed to say, 'attacks' in the past 5 days. Hell of a run.

Instance 1 -
Out celebrating the solstice last Thursday, circa 5am, a 60ish yr old shambles up to me (I was dressed in my 'cyclist' outfit) and proceeds to tell me about how cyclists hold him up when he drives to the shop, and that a cyclist swore at someone he knows. He then went on to ask why people over 30 ride bikes - they should get cars! Perhaps it was that I had been up riding all night, but my fuse was surprisingly short and I was fairly nasty to him - thus re-enforcing his view that we are scum, i presume. *sigh*

Instance 2 -
Friday. In my local pub, they know i ride bikes. Someone casually brought it up "I expect you've cycled further than that, Peat" blah blah. Then the landlord couldn't help himself and said how he'd been held up the other day (because there was no way to pass a bike because of the volume of traffic coming the other way - bikes fault, obviously) thus prompting a flood of abuse from the other patrons. All directed at me - "You lot....road tax.....helmets". I tried very hard to remain civil, when i felt my ears get hot (rage impending) I drank what was left in my glass and left.

Instance 3 -
On my way to the club run last night, waiting to pull out onto the main road. A career alcoholic (all the visible signs) on the pavement stops and leans down and squints at my bike, springs back and lets out a sarcastic "Ooooh, wooow! RESPECT mate!". I said "It's a nice colour, isn't it?" To which he replied "You lot a f***in pricks, I ........." I cut him off and assured him i'd raise his complaint at the next bicyclist meeting. Rode off.

Perhaps it's just an exceptionally bad run, but i've never been on the end of this volume of ire. I feel like it's just us and 'travellers' left as groups that can be openly derided without fear of  being labelled as some sort of '----ist'.  :facepalm:

/vent

I used to think the phrase, "Doesn't suffer fools lightly" was a bit weird.. like, who actually does suffer fools lightly? Then nonsense like the conversations you've related happen.

Sorry mate. I don't suffer fools lightly. #CyclesOff #FindsAnotherPub
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on June 28, 2018, 03:24:30 pm


I used to think the phrase, "Doesn't suffer fools lightly" was a bit weird.. like, who actually does suffer fools lightly? Then nonsense like the conversations you've related happen.

Sorry mate. I don't suffer fools lightly. #CyclesOff #FindsAnotherPub

I think folk vary in their charitable (or ignorant) tolerance (or ignorance) of idiocy.

I suppose there's a place for benign selective deafness.

Which does not stop me being a critical bitch...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peat on June 28, 2018, 05:50:25 pm
Well, the pub people are all folks I have known for years and are (we're considered) reasonable people. This was what made it all the more upsetting.

It is SO socially acceptable to rag on all/any cyclists at the moment that they didn't feel the need to consider any counter opinion.

I'm not interested in existing exclusively in echo-chambers, but to have any sort of discussion both 'sides' need to have the ability to capitulate.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Graeme on June 30, 2018, 09:41:06 am
Room 101 on primetime BBC1 last night won't have helped. 'Lycra Louts' were the target of hatred and into Rm101 they went. I wonder how many people had their prejudices confirmed through a broadcast we all paid for. It's okay - is only comedy Snowflake, get over it. :(
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on June 30, 2018, 09:53:38 am
Room 101 on primetime BBC1 last night won't have helped. 'Lycra Louts' were the target of hatred and into Rm101 they went. I wonder how many people had their prejudices confirmed through a broadcast we all paid for. It's okay - is only comedy Snowflake, get over it. :(

I'm not particularly keen on lycra louts myself, but I can tell the difference between that minority and the rest of us. 
Non cyclists will, I suppose, tend to lump us all together in their prejudice.

Who was it that nominated them?
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: T42 on June 30, 2018, 10:16:10 am
He that hath an ill name is half hanged.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Graeme on June 30, 2018, 12:59:47 pm
Room 101 on primetime BBC1 last night won't have helped. 'Lycra Louts' were the target of hatred and into Rm101 they went. I wonder how many people had their prejudices confirmed through a broadcast we all paid for. It's okay - is only comedy Snowflake, get over it. :(

I'm not particularly keen on lycra louts myself, but I can tell the difference between that minority and the rest of us. 
Non cyclists will, I suppose, tend to lump us all together in their prejudice.

Who was it that nominated them?

Laurence Fox. Who he?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04tjc9p
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Peter on June 30, 2018, 01:15:25 pm
Didn't see the programme but if he who I think he are, he a overprivileged actor from a huntin', shootin' and fishin' over-privileged dynasty.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: offcumden on June 30, 2018, 02:58:30 pm
Didn't see the programme but if he who I think he are, he a overprivileged actor from a huntin', shootin' and fishin' over-privileged dynasty.

Into Room 101 with him!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on July 02, 2018, 10:04:21 pm
If someone starts to hassle me about 'being a cyclist' (and I'll admit I'm an atypical non-lycra lout), I just fix them was a intent stare and ask them how many people have you killed? Obviously they haven't killed anyone (that they're admitting) so I ask them about their various driving faux pas – red lights jumped, speed limits broken, pavements parked on. Don't pause, just drill, I mean, seriously you've never ever broken any law in your car? Are you absolutely sure?

You'll soon find they don't want to talk about how much they hate cyclists.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 06, 2018, 08:00:00 pm
WVM:  "Oh, its a bird."

(I assume the other options were 'plane'[1] and 'superman')


Random car passenger: "Enjoying yourself(?)"

(Type 1.5 fun, thanks for asking.)


[1] Insert wheelpants comment here.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: quixoticgeek on July 06, 2018, 08:11:06 pm

Today:

"FIETSPAD MORON!"

"RIDE STRAIGHT!"

and

"DON'T STOP THERE FUCKWIT!"

Alas, whilst all these were directed at cyclists (bar the 1st one, which was at a pedestrian), they were all shouted by me, at Gormless morons on BSOs (except the pedestrian) that were going out of their way to be a right pain on my commute to work.

It amazes me that tourists manage to step out into the cycle path without looking, and survive... The near misses on this are clocking up at several per week!

The guy who stopped in the middle of the fiets pad to check maps on his phone was sufficiently stupid in their placement that I had to swerve twice, before bouncing off his flank.

Ah Tourist season... The IQ of a tourist seems inversely proportional to temperature... as well as inversely proportional to precipitation, which ever is greater of the two...

J
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: tonycollinet on July 10, 2018, 06:32:45 am
Personally I think you need to lighten up a bit.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: quixoticgeek on July 10, 2018, 10:33:15 am
Personally I think you need to lighten up a bit.

Come join me on my morning commute and lets see if you still agree...

Had a pedestrian step out into the fietspad yesterday while staring at her phone. Was a close call...

J
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: D.A.L.E. on July 10, 2018, 10:56:09 am
Personally I think you need to lighten up a bit.

Come join me on my morning commute and lets see if you still agree...

Had a pedestrian step out into the fietspad yesterday while staring at her phone. Was a close call...

J
So did most people.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 10, 2018, 11:08:16 am
I rode all of about 4km in That London yesterday, using one of Mr Boris's hire bikes.

In that time I experienced:

- Two wobbly tourists (also on hire bikes) who didn't appear to have any road sense whatsoever, but were evidently having a great time.
- Being cut up by a proper lycra-clad cyclist on a road bike (who then proceeded to jump a red).
- Three counts of lemming pedestrians (one phone zombie, and then a couple who decided hearing was sufficient to determine that it was safe to cross the road).
- One aggressive taxi driver who wanted me out of the way.

I didn't feel the need to shout at anyone.  I did feel the need to anticipate more than usual, as the Boris Brakes are merely a polite suggestion.  But I generally consider lemmings and idiots on bikes to be an integral part of cycling in London.  (The motor traffic is less of an issue, it's like Brummies but slowed down and less rule-bound.)

Nobody shouted at me, either.  Indeed, one of the great things about London is the lower level of street harassment generally.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: woollypigs on July 10, 2018, 11:13:03 am
- Two wobbly tourists (also on hire bikes) who didn't appear to have any road sense whatsoever, but were evidently having a great time.
I spoke to some one who said that the Boris bikes are great for cycling because so many tourist uses them and that makes other think a bit more.

I just saw a program on SBS (Australian News channel) about the free/hire bikes that is dock less. They are now getting dumped all over the place in Sydney and is creating eye sore come littering issue. The Damage I saw on these bikes, can't just be a hard life and vandalism, it really looked like they were made of butter.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Jakob W on July 10, 2018, 01:20:48 pm
(The motor traffic is less of an issue, it's like Brummies but slowed down and less rule-bound.)

Interesting; I've not spent much time driving or cycling in Birmingham proper, but I have to say my experience of West Midlands drivers is that they're abominable - I'd take London any day.

On the whole, a Zen attitude is probably best when mixing it up with city traffic (of both the motorised and non-motorised kind), but this is oft easier said than done. TBH I find cycle-ped chaos enough of a pleasing novelty that I don't mind it so much; when I lived in Cambridge it was common enough to be rather more tedious...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on July 10, 2018, 03:42:02 pm
(The motor traffic is less of an issue, it's like Brummies but slowed down and less rule-bound.)

Interesting; I've not spent much time driving or cycling in Birmingham proper, but I have to say my experience of West Midlands drivers is that they're abominable - I'd take London any day.

Agreed.  As well have having more cyclists and wandering pedestrians, nobody expects to get anywhere quickly by motor vehicle inside Zone 3, and traffic lights etc are generally taken with a pinch of salt, so there's a sort of chaotic relaxedness about it that the West Midlands lacks.

The easiest way to piss off a Birmingham driver is to do anything that might hold them up.  Being A Cyclist at a pinch point, or stalling[1] your motor vehicle when the lights turn green are popular ways to get shouted/hooted at.  But they're a bit more law-abiding: You rarely see more than one car go through after the lights turn red, for example, and blocking a box junction will tend to result in a torrent of abuse.


[1] EV drivers have the option of selecting 'drive' without having depressed the brake pedal first and wondering why nothing happens.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 29, 2018, 12:36:36 pm
Not a shout at all, a conversation with a drunk who approached me while I was waiting at the traffic lights by the town gate in Chepstow. After some initial incoherent mumbling and gesticulation, he managed to come out with "What do you think of a Welshman winning the Tour de France?"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: handcyclist on July 30, 2018, 07:17:00 pm
Not a shout at all, a conversation with a drunk who approached me while I was waiting at the traffic lights by the town gate in Chepstow. After some initial incoherent mumbling and gesticulation, he managed to come out with "What do you think of a Welshman winning the Tour de France?"

ah, Chepstow, town of my misspent youth and continuing local devotion to the pub by the sounds of it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Andrij on July 30, 2018, 09:21:52 pm
"Shut the fcuk up!"

A section of the riverside pavement along the Embankment is closed due to SuperSewer works.  As a bit more room is needed, the E-W cycleway has been shifted into a lane of the road.  There is no replacement pavement - there are a multiple of signs stating this fact and directing pedestrians to cross the road.  During working hours there's a bod at either end attempting to keep the peds honest. 

Anyway... I enter the western end and encounter three peds coming around the corner.  And what did I say to elicit the above quote?  Absolutely nothing - all I did was shake my head. 
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: AwfulQuiet on August 02, 2018, 12:47:59 pm
- Two wobbly tourists (also on hire bikes) who didn't appear to have any road sense whatsoever, but were evidently having a great time.
I spoke to some one who said that the Boris bikes are great for cycling because so many tourist uses them and that makes other think a bit more.

I just saw a program on SBS (Australian News channel) about the free/hire bikes that is dock less. They are now getting dumped all over the place in Sydney and is creating eye sore come littering issue. The Damage I saw on these bikes, can't just be a hard life and vandalism, it really looked like they were made of butter.

It's not only in Oz.... https://www.theatlantic.com/photo/2018/03/bike-share-oversupply-in-china-huge-piles-of-abandoned-and-broken-bicycles/556268/
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: AwfulQuiet on August 02, 2018, 12:49:40 pm
The only time I had anyone shout something at me was when I was going downhill at about 30kph, they drove past at 80, between the wind noise and the noise of their tyres, I couldn't hear what they said.

The expressions on the faces of the people on the side of the road 100 meters down the road told me it was not a compliment...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: JonJo on August 02, 2018, 05:50:56 pm
Today riding through Lanchester - couldn't hear what they were shouting but it was accompanied by an egg which hit me square in the back.

B@st@rds but the resulting adrenaline rush powered me up Peth Bank in pretty quick time.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 21, 2018, 07:00:51 pm
I had the car matching speed alongside thing so they could film me thing earlier.  Unusually, it was slow and quiet enough that I could ask "Where do all these photos go?" (I've previously tried and failed to find any on the interwebs), and got the reply "Just on my phone...".  Which, having thought about it as they drove off, is actually rather creepy.   :sick:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Whitedown Man on August 21, 2018, 07:14:02 pm
Is this a voyeur thing? Never heard of this happening before but perhaps another case of a man (me) not appreciating the crap women have to face day by day. What a world.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 21, 2018, 07:16:47 pm
Happens all the time when you ride a recumbent.  Seems to have parallels to oik behaviour towards people with certain disabilities, body shapes, etc. with the key difference that I can always get off my bike.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Whitedown Man on August 21, 2018, 07:22:31 pm
So sorry that your day was tainted by such a low-life wanker. I hope tomorrow is better.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 21, 2018, 07:25:14 pm
I tend to be pragmatic about such things, as it means they're paying attention and therefore unlikely to drive into me.  Also, I'm riding my bike, so probably having more fun than they are.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Feanor on August 21, 2018, 07:27:21 pm
I think it might not actually be creepy voyeurism, but just "Wow, what's that weird looking thing? Slow down and let me take a photo!"
Many people will never have come across a repugnant.
The picture is only intended as something to show their mates in the pub, as something a bit unusual.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 21, 2018, 07:28:46 pm
I think it might not actually be creepy voyeurism, but just "Wow, what's that weird looking thing? Slow down and let me take a photo!"
Many people will never have come across a repugnant.
The picture is only intended as something to show their mates in the pub, as something a bit unusual.

Tell that to the person with dwarfism, thobut.

There's clearly a spectrum between that and "Hey nice bike, can I take a photo?" (which is absolutely fine).

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Feanor on August 21, 2018, 07:32:37 pm
Well, I suppose the difference is between someone who *is* a bit unusual versus someone who is *doing* something a bit unusual.

They seem different situations to me.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on August 21, 2018, 07:34:24 pm
Well, I suppose the difference is between someone who *is* a bit unusual versus someone who is *doing* something a bit unusual.

They seem different situations to me.

With a blurry bit in the middle (eg. handcycling to the shops).


Anyway, it's just the way he said it sounded creepy.  I'm sure he's not actually wanking over grainy drive-by pictures[1] of recumbents.  There are, after all, perfectly good websites for that sort of thing.


[1] He was holding it in portrait aspect ratio too.  Some people have no class.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Feanor on August 21, 2018, 07:57:04 pm
OK, yes, I see what you mean about the blurry bits in the middle.

Anyway, have you registered WetRecumbents.com yet?
It might lead the unwary Audaxer to a Rule 34 (https://xkcd.com/305/) site...

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Joe.B on August 21, 2018, 10:38:40 pm
Happens all the time when you ride a recumbent.  Seems to have parallels to oik behaviour towards people with certain disabilities, body shapes, etc. with the key difference that I can always get off my bike.

Yes I've had couple of those too, I'm a bloke in his mid forties with rather less hair than i once had so i guess its bike their interested in rather than me.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Auntie Helen on August 22, 2018, 06:06:50 am
I am regularly filmed by drivers but this is the hazard of being in a Velomobile.

They are of course holding their phone up to the passenger window when driving... which is stupidly dangerous. But that doesn’t matter, they have to film the weird bike.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: bludger on August 31, 2018, 01:30:35 pm
I got one of those dockless bikes back from the O2 last night because I didn't want to ride the bus, I actually got loud cheers when I went past my fellow death grips fans and rang the bell.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 10, 2018, 10:07:05 pm
"ARE YOU A FUCKING BIKE?  ARE YOU FUCKING CYCLING?  GET OUT OF THE FUCKING ROAD!"  - unseen person somewhere behind me (probably in one of several likely-looking vans) while I was in a queue of traffic on approach to a roundabout.

I was aleady in a bad mood after having to cut my ride short due to a nasty visitation, and this really didn't help.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Joe.B on September 11, 2018, 10:10:37 pm
"ARE YOU A FUCKING BIKE?  ARE YOU FUCKING CYCLING?  GET OUT OF THE FUCKING ROAD!"  - unseen person somewhere behind me (probably in one of several likely-looking vans) while I was in a queue of traffic on approach to a roundabout.

I was aleady in a bad mood after having to cut my ride short due to a nasty visitation, and this really didn't help.

I guess you were on the bent for that one.  I know we don't get that sort of bile too often but it puts me off riding the bent sometimes even though I still get far more positive comments about riding recumbent as a rule.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 12, 2018, 03:26:53 pm
WVM: "...slap you on the arse!"

There's no way that sentence starts well.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: k_green on September 12, 2018, 03:28:42 pm
Last night 'Raaape'.
Teenage boys are odd.
I also got meoawed at and some indeterminate words/sounds.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on September 26, 2018, 07:11:04 pm
Woman waiting outside primary school at SUV o'clock: "You're a legend!"

(I assume she's been listening to DTEK HPVS's tall tales...)


Taxi driver: "Can I borrow your bike?"

(No.)
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Guy on September 28, 2018, 08:08:43 am
"NICE BIKE" from kids on MTBSOs as I whizzed past on my Brompton in the underpass yesterday afternoon.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 01, 2018, 03:32:34 pm
Not shouting, but for want of a better thread:

Oik: "Is that nitro?"
Me: "Hmm?"
Oik: "That bottle, is it nitro?"
Me: "Oh!"  *wondering if he's too young to get a Remembrance of the Daleks reference*  "No, it's fuel for my camping stove."
Oik: "...To make it go faster?"
Me: "To make it make tea!"
Oik: "Oh, okay."
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 01, 2018, 03:48:50 pm
Woman waiting outside primary school at SUV o'clock: "You're a legend!"
"SUV o'clock" good phrase. Except of course without the context it could refer to just about any time of day of day or night!

Not shouting, but for want of a better thread:

Oik: "Is that nitro?"
Me: "Hmm?"
Oik: "That bottle, is it nitro?"
Me: "Oh!"  *wondering if he's too young to get a Remembrance of the Daleks reference*  "No, it's fuel for my camping stove."
Oik: "...To make it go faster?"
Me: "To make it make tea!"
Oik: "Oh, okay."
Classic! But... you don't drink tea...

I had "You go, boy!" from one of two blokes walking along the road in Filton just north of the former mighty aerospace complex about 11p.m. I only saw them out of the corner of my eye, as I was looking at the Megabus overtaking me, but I assume it was sarcasm and they weren't actually bowled over by my 15mph.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on October 13, 2018, 09:21:00 pm
WVM patiently giving way to me as I took a somewhat Brownian path around a roundabout:  "[inaudible] A FOOKIN' HI-VIS!"

Yes, visibility was clearly the issue here, what with it being bright daylight with >35mph[1] gusts(!)



[1] According to my Walz moisture-wicking airspeed indicator.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 06, 2018, 05:02:30 pm
Teletubby voice from somewhere on a crowded pavement:  "Eh-oh!"

Woman at bus stop: "It's too dangerous!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on November 06, 2018, 07:29:12 pm
somethingsomethingCUNTsomething flung gaily out of a driver's side window because I had the temerity to make him slow down for something in the region of two entire seconds while I indicated and turned right.

There really is no other activity I undertake where random people hurl abuse at me.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: yorkie on November 06, 2018, 11:02:06 pm
Riding home from work at half past 9 this evening, with my usual multitude of lights pointing in various directions, a passing drunk sang:

"Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree..."

I would have pointed out that it was the wrong season, had I not been laughing so much!
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: handcyclist on November 07, 2018, 12:27:08 am
I love your posts Kim. This made me smile.
With a blurry bit in the middle (eg. handcycling to the shops).
The reaction I get when I 'miraculously' get off the handbike to walk into the shop (albeit with a bit of a limp and a groan) is usually confuddlingly priceless.

[1] He was holding it in portrait aspect ratio too.  Some people have no class.

 ;D
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 15, 2018, 05:06:07 pm
"Nice bike." said the builder, as he opened the side door of the overtaking van like Murdoch from the A-Team and took some drive-by photographs with his smartphone.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Basil on November 15, 2018, 06:27:18 pm
More photos?  You must be getting really famous.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Si S on November 16, 2018, 04:10:23 pm
I got something abusive this morning that involved a lot of finger wagging, more than likely something to do with the nearby cycle path, I suppose it offsets the marriage proposal I got a few weeks ago whilst riding home with a large bouquet of flowers sticking out the pannier.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fimm on November 21, 2018, 01:12:24 pm
One of a number of youf waiting at a bus stop as I pootled slowly by on my way to work went "neeeeeeeeoooooooowwwwwww!"
I laughed.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: quixoticgeek on November 22, 2018, 10:43:10 am


Group of Dutch Yoofs cycling at night, covering most of a whole cycle lane, I'm going a little quicker, and want to over take. I come up behind and say "cycle straight" they kinda make enough space for me to get through. Then one of them starts trying to match my pace.

"Oh you want a race do you?"
"*inarticulate Dutch mumbling*"

I fell down onto the aerobars, upped the cadence, and zoomed off, leaving them behind. After I had a few hundred meters between them and I, I eased up, another 100m or so later, and one oik catches me up and goes passed saying something in Dutch I didn't catch...

It brightened up a late evenings ride home from the space.

J
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: JennyB on November 22, 2018, 12:53:05 pm


Group of Dutch Yoofs cycling at night, covering most of a whole cycle lane, I'm going a little quicker, and want to over take. I come up behind and say "cycle straight" they kinda make enough space for me to get through. Then one of them starts trying to match my pace.

"Oh you want a race do you?"
"*inarticulate Dutch mumbling*"

I fell down onto the aerobars, upped the cadence, and zoomed off, leaving them behind. After I had a few hundred meters between them and I, I eased up, another 100m or so later, and one oik catches me up and goes passed saying something in Dutch I didn't catch...

It brightened up a late evenings ride home from the space.

J

I had something like that in Wales once, long ago when I was young and fit, only the lad came past hanging onto the back of a motorbike.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on November 22, 2018, 01:15:11 pm
A yoof onna BMX challenged me to a race while I was on the ICE trike once.  They quickly disqualified me for changing gear, thobut.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 07, 2018, 09:59:41 am
I was challenged to a race at about 5a.m. one Saturday morning* by a bloke on a Yo bike (dockless hire thing). "Are you going Filton? Do you want a race? I'll give you a race? I'm the champion of this!" I was on my way to a hilly 200km audax so I was content to let him zoom off.

*For me. It was clearly Friday night for him.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 07, 2018, 10:02:12 am
Yesterday, there was a huge (thankfully very visible) pool of oil or petrol just in front of and over the give way line, so I braked cautiously to a stop. This gave an opportunity for the old bloke on the corner with tell-tale black bag (clue: it was open at the top and he didn't have a dog) to say "It's green!" I looked at him quizzically. "It's clear! There's nothing coming, you can go! Well, there is now!"
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: pumpkin on January 10, 2019, 10:43:00 am
yesterday, turning right into a side road and a youngish man is ambling then standing in the middle of the road. So I turn and slow down to pass behind him but asked him not to stand in the middle of the road. He demonstrated he had command of  some swear words and that I was 'a dickhead cyclist'. I wished him a pleasant day and left him to his musings,
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: perpetual dan on January 12, 2019, 01:40:40 pm
Yesterday, on my way home from work, someone (with a bottle of beer) was wandering down the road. As I approach he stepped to the side and said (said more than shouted, but this felt like the right thread in any case) “sorry, I thought you were a car”.
To be frank, I’m still puzzled.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: matthew on January 16, 2019, 10:55:54 pm
Today that would be me. Driving home from work i passed a cyclist on an unlit rural road. He had a good headlight but his rear light was out. I pulled in at a farm entrance ahead and got out of the car to call out to him. A little later I passed him with both lights working.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: fimm on February 04, 2019, 09:00:56 am
Cycling into a stiff head wind. Car pulls alongside.
Driver: You need to watch the road. Something something something something something.
Me: What?
Driver: drives off
Look, if you are going to lecture someone about how to ride a bicycle, at least try to make sure they've understood whatever point it is you're trying to make...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Paul on February 27, 2019, 01:17:19 pm
Doppler-effect "Cycle path" shout from open passenger window last night.

The difference being that, for the first time ever, I didn't get wound up. I remembered to smile broadly and wave cheerily at the receding car, hoping that the driver, instead of me, would enjoy the resulting apoplexy.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on February 27, 2019, 01:39:56 pm
"G'wan, PEDAL!" from a random pedestrian as I slowed to a halt behind a van in a queueueueue of traffic.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Pingu on March 15, 2019, 09:17:17 am
Apparently I don't own the road. Who knew? It's a good job there are random cunts in cars about to keep us informed of these things.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 15, 2019, 10:08:20 am
Apparently I don't own the road. Who knew? It's a good job there are random cunts in cars about to keep us informed of these things.

Actually, I do own the road and just let people like you use it from charity.  If you don't like this arrangement, have your people talk to my people :demon:
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Kim on March 15, 2019, 01:50:41 pm
"G'wan, PEDAL!" from a random pedestrian as I slowed to a halt behind a van in a queueueueue of traffic.

Variation on the above:  "G'wan girl!", which is one of those which can mean entirely different things depending on who's shouting it.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: ian on March 15, 2019, 01:56:13 pm
Go on, we dare you! say the schoolkids. Ian appraises the large lake that has spilled across the road and demurs cos he only has little Brompton pram wheels.

(that's the same 'puddle' that always appears, the one a car sped into the other week and slewed to a sudden halt as it lost traction, it must be at least half a metre deep).
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: spindrift on March 18, 2019, 03:03:39 pm
"Get your arse on the saddle!"

Lady in her seventies with a zimmer frame as I passed her on Pottergate. PLOT TWIST I was sitting down. I wasn't out of the saddle, it was a slight downhill coast bit. My arse was on the saddle. None of it makes sense.

Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Graeme on March 21, 2019, 04:08:09 pm
"Get a car ya bearded hippy" - shouted at me today. I think it might have been from the mouth of my local bike shop owner.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 22, 2019, 07:06:42 pm
This bloke actually lost his licence for stopping to shout at a cyclist. Only his taxi licence, not his driving licence, but highly unusual.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/taxi-drivers-licence-shredded-after-2675070
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Moleman76 on March 23, 2019, 06:10:44 am
This bloke actually lost his taxi licence, not his driving licence, but highly unusual.

Makes up for some of the "don't take my license away or I can't drive to work" cases, when taking the license away means he can't drive FOR work ...
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: pumpkin on March 27, 2019, 10:16:43 am
'You need to get some f-in oil on that' from two youths at a cyclist whose brakes were squealing. Couldn't decide whether they were swearing or suggesting some sexual lubricant may be of benefit
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: Wowbagger on April 16, 2019, 09:12:29 pm
A real blast from the past yesterday.

I was overtaken by a dark-coloured car. The passenger window was down. A shout, almost but not quite in stereo, was emitted of a type I haven't heard regularly since I taught in a boys' secondary modern school between 1975 and 1981. "Wawka!" (for the uninitiated, that's my surname translated into Saarfendese). This means that the oiks concerned must be well into their 50s.
Title: Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
Post by: hellymedic on April 20, 2019, 04:04:00 pm
Old Boys!