Yet Another Cycling Forum

General Category => Audax => Topic started by: rogerzilla on May 18, 2009, 08:16:34 pm

Title: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 18, 2009, 08:16:34 pm
Choose life.  Choose audaxing.  Choose mudguards.  Choose Brooks.  Choose a fucking big saddlebag, choose a map trap, choose route sheets, choose XR, RB, S/O and dynamos.  Choose rain, wind, sleet and snow.  Choose the only type of bike that never gets stolen.  Choose Sudocrem.  Choose a lucky hat and a gilet that went out of fashion in the 1980s.  Choose flapjacks in a range of fucking flavours.  Choose a 600 and wonder what the fuck you're doing up a Welsh mountain in the dark.  Choose sitting in a village hall trying not to make eye contact with your mind-numbing, spirit crushing fellow riders, drinking orange juice out of a Tetrapak.  Choose rotting away at the end of it all, babbling about the 50/50 rule in some urine-soaked bus shelter, nothing more than an embarrassment to the fucking sportives they spawned to replace you.

Choose your future.  Choose audaxing.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Hot Flatus on May 18, 2009, 08:18:45 pm
Very very good!   ;D
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Chris S on May 18, 2009, 08:26:18 pm
Quick - someone grab a Gimp/Photoshop-a-like, the original Trainspotting artwork, and some cycling shirts. I feel a new AUK shirt coming on...  :thumbsup:

Hell I'd wear one. And that's more than can be said for (a) the YACF shirts and (b) the current AUK shirts.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Phil on May 18, 2009, 08:30:06 pm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/pnweb/yacf/fixiespotting/audaxspotting_white.png)

There you go :)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 18, 2009, 08:31:30 pm
I think it's very very wude and the ladies who make the tea wouldn't like it  ;D
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: geraldc on May 18, 2009, 08:32:55 pm
if you could get it embroidered onto a badge, I'd stitch that to the back of my carradice  ;D
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Chris S on May 18, 2009, 08:34:26 pm
Arrrgh! I Want One NOW!

Shirt, sticker, badge - whatever.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: chris on May 18, 2009, 08:40:56 pm
Shirt, sticker, badge - whatever.

this? (http://www.screenhaus.co.uk/Shop/Bags_Briefs/Bum_Deals2.htm)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Chris S on May 18, 2009, 08:42:31 pm
Shirt, sticker, badge - whatever.

this? (http://www.screenhaus.co.uk/Shop/Bags_Briefs/Bum_Deals2.htm)

I'd prefer a thong.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: chris on May 18, 2009, 08:46:03 pm
if you could get it embroidered onto a badge, I'd stitch that to the back of my carradice  ;D

here (http://www.screenhaus.co.uk/Shop/Stickers_Badges/Badge1.htm), but if we're going for a batch then perhaps we should moderate the language a bit (but they will print anything!).
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Aidan on May 18, 2009, 08:49:17 pm
Thats two tee shirts we're gonna have to do now :thumbsup:
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Polar Bear on May 18, 2009, 08:52:13 pm
In the YACF stylee and without the use of f words maybe? 
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: iddu on May 18, 2009, 08:59:38 pm
Arrrgh! I Want One NOW!

Shirt, sticker, badge - whatever.

Yes!!! +1.
You'll be starting a clothing sweatshop in yer garage next  ;)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Andrij on May 18, 2009, 09:03:47 pm
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: simonp on May 18, 2009, 09:09:44 pm
That needs to be made into a jersey.

Pls to also make a fixiespotting one.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Von Broad on May 18, 2009, 09:16:57 pm
I'd buy that shirt!
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Wowbagger on May 18, 2009, 10:08:29 pm
Could it not be engraved on Hummers' gusset?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: zzpza on May 18, 2009, 11:40:06 pm
a new jersey design?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: LEE on May 19, 2009, 10:23:21 am
Excellent.

Remove the expletives or insert aserisks (because I suspect it may affect its chances of being published) and submit to Arrivee immediately.


"Choose Frijj Milkshakes on a Garage Forecourt"
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 19, 2009, 05:51:09 pm
I wanted to work garages in there somehow, but it would have involved food and I *had* to have the orange juice and village hall.

But no, I wouldn't wear it or associate my name with the potty-mouth language version  O:-)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: red marley on May 19, 2009, 06:53:45 pm
I like the Frijj milkshakes on a Garage Forecourt addition.

For what it's worth, I just don't get the 'no eye contact in a village hall' thing. I don't think it's my sense of humour failure, but I've just not noticed anything like that on any audax (maybe I need to make more eye contact). The rest is great though.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 19, 2009, 07:43:01 pm
It's a stereotype and, like all the best ones, it's made-up.  All audaxers are miserable sociopaths, y'see.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: border-rider on May 19, 2009, 07:44:39 pm
Check out the eyelines in the first photos on the BCM pics (http://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=19013.0) thread :)


(http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b187/vicechair/BCM600%202009/P5150480.jpg)

(http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b187/vicechair/BCM600%202009/P5150481.jpg)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 19, 2009, 07:51:11 pm
 ;D  ISWYM
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Bledlow on May 19, 2009, 07:59:21 pm
Arrrgh! I Want One NOW!

Shirt, sticker, badge - whatever.
I'd buy it. A cloth badge would be perfect. I'd buy one for each Carradice cotton duck bag I have, so there's a couple of sales already.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: JStone on May 19, 2009, 08:00:14 pm
Check out the eyelines ...

ok, but it was stupid o'clock, long way to go and a dire weather forecast - I needed the jam fix  :)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: border-rider on May 19, 2009, 08:35:15 pm
I know.  There'd be a slight feeling of nervousness in that gathering, I'd think :)

Good to see you here, John.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Greenbank on May 19, 2009, 08:38:25 pm
AndyS has a good thousand yard stare going on too...

(http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b187/vicechair/BCM600%202009/P5150534.jpg)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: aidan.f on May 19, 2009, 09:41:41 pm
And a nice fashionable Gilet...
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 19, 2009, 10:15:17 pm
There are some truly nasty gilets in those photos  ;D
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Hummers on May 19, 2009, 10:24:03 pm
Choose life.  Choose audaxing.  Choose mudguards.  Choose Brooks.  Choose a fucking big saddlebag, choose a map trap, choose route sheets, choose XR, RB, S/O and dynamos.  Choose rain, wind, sleet and snow.  Choose the only type of bike that never gets stolen.  Choose Sudocrem.  Choose a lucky hat and a gilet that went out of fashion in the 1980s.  Choose flapjacks in a range of fucking flavours.  Choose a 600 and wonder what the fuck you're doing up a Welsh mountain in the dark.  Choose sitting in a village hall trying not to make eye contact with your mind-numbing, spirit crushing fellow riders, drinking orange juice out of a Tetrapak.  Choose rotting away at the end of it all, babbling about the 50/50 rule in some urine-soaked bus shelter, nothing more than an embarrassment to the fucking sportives they spawned to replace you.

Choose your future.  Choose audaxing.

I chose something else... (http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b187/vicechair/BCM600%202009/P5150539.jpg)

H
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: border-rider on May 19, 2009, 10:25:41 pm
You chose to look alarmingly like Rob Brydon in that photo.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Hummers on May 19, 2009, 10:30:24 pm
You chose to look alarmingly like Rob Brydon in that photo.

Well, whatever next?

I won't lie to you Mal, you're not the first to say that.

Uncle Bryn
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: nuttycyclist on May 20, 2009, 12:53:12 am
I really laughed the first time I saw it, but after thought and re-reading, especially from a non-audaxer point of view, the shine has gone.




So, the challenge...


Instead of Rogerzilla's excellent words, rewrite them so that they convey the same meaning to a work colleague who considers a 1 mile commute too far to cycle and so knows nothing of sudocreme, village halls, nor of what "a 600" refers to.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 20, 2009, 06:35:11 am
However I don't think I would want to wear such sentiments on my sleeve or indeed to have them screen printed on my chest.

And nor would I, FWIW.  My mother wouldn't like it  ::-)

This is actually the third in an very occasional series which started with Fixiespotting and Commuterspotting.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Julian on May 20, 2009, 07:27:26 am
However I don't think I would want to wear such sentiments on my sleeve or indeed to have them screen printed on my chest.

Me neither - it would be a bit small on the sleeve and a bit lumpy on the chest, making it difficult to read (along with the usual social problems that readable print on a gel's chest provides to both reader and wearer.)

You're right:  the best place to have it would probably be on the back.

;)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: MattH on May 20, 2009, 07:40:05 am
Me neither - it would be a bit small on the sleeve and a bit lumpy on the chest, making it difficult to read (along with the usual social problems that readable print on a gel's chest provides to both reader and wearer.)

What's the problem with that? Far better than reading "dhb" on some blokes rump for hours on end.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: ChrisO on May 20, 2009, 07:47:15 am
Good to see the spirit of Thomas Bowdler is alive and well and surviving on Soreen, tinned peaches and rice pudding.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Hot Flatus on May 20, 2009, 08:04:48 am
  and put audaxing back years as a form of cycle sport, sorry but you are totally out of order albeit IMHO.

Well, let's face it... it wouldn't have to be many to put it back before the invention of the bicycle  ;D

Arf!

I think I may be partly responsible for the myth of ocular-avoidance on audax that is mentioned in Roger's excellent parody. I wrote about it on acf after my first experience of audax in 2006 (the one where I realised what the AU in audax stood for  ;)) 

Actually, its not a myth, but only if you hang out at the back of an audax with all the weirdoes.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Charlotte on May 20, 2009, 08:59:52 am
However I don't think I would want to wear such sentiments on my sleeve or indeed to have them screen printed on my chest.

Fair enough, nobody's forcing you.

That would be crude, pretty base and put audaxing back years as a form of cycle sport, sorry but you are totally out of order albeit IMHO.

Maybe you could propose a motion at the AGM   :)

There's already a fixiespotting spokecard - a rather nice laminated number, as modeled by a variety of BCM riders last weekend.

(http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b187/vicechair/BCM600%202009/P5140474.jpg)

I was thinking about going into production and selling them in aid of Liz's TRAT fundraising.  Say, about £3 posted?

Problem is, spoke cards are right for the urban fixer, but audaxers might balk at the thought of them, I dunno.   So what about T shirts?  Posters, maybe?  Or mugs?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: SandyV on May 20, 2009, 09:07:10 am
Mugs for sale at LEL?  I'd bring some back to Australia! (Change the location and it all sounds pretty recognisable - except for the 50/50 rule - don't know about that)

It made me laugh out loud  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: mattc on May 20, 2009, 09:22:37 am
Problem is, spoke cards are right for the urban fixer, but audaxers might balk at the thought of them, I dunno.
Can you fashion a tyre boot from one?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: chris n on May 20, 2009, 09:27:42 am
There's already a fixiespotting spokecard - a rather nice laminated number, as modeled by a variety of BCM riders last weekend.

I've taken mine off, as I'm not that keen on them, but it was quite good fun watching the shadow of the card moving round fast-slow-fast-slow when climbing up out of Newtown.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: geraldc on May 20, 2009, 09:41:32 am
To get the humour you need to have audaxed and seen Trainspotting, that's going to be an alarmingly small proportion of audaxers.

That being said, I think Lust for Life at ear splitting volumes would make very suitable background music for any arrivee.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Greenbank on May 20, 2009, 09:56:04 am
I really laughed the first time I saw it, but after thought and re-reading, especially from a non-audaxer point of view, the shine has gone.

Like most parodies, the first is usually very funny, the second has to be much more clever to get the same effect, the following 3 billion just become very wearing. Hollywood sequel syndrome.

So, the challenge...

Instead of Rogerzilla's excellent words, rewrite them so that they convey the same meaning to a work colleague who considers a 1 mile commute too far to cycle and so knows nothing of sudocreme, village halls, nor of what "a 600" refers to.

Hasn't that already been done with the commuterspotting version?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Greenbank on May 20, 2009, 09:57:11 am
There's already a fixiespotting spokecard - a rather nice laminated number, as modeled by a variety of BCM riders last weekend.

I've taken mine off, as I'm not that keen on them, but it was quite good fun watching the shadow of the card moving round fast-slow-fast-slow when climbing up out of Newtown.

Same here, but if they're going to be sold for TRAT then I'll happily donate the cash for mine.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Andrij on May 20, 2009, 09:58:59 am
This is actually the third in an very occasional series which started with Fixiespotting and Commuterspotting.

My google-fu is failing me.  Can anyone provide a link to Commuterspotting?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Greenbank on May 20, 2009, 10:05:19 am
My google-fu is failing me.  Can anyone provide a link to Commuterspotting?

Google probably won't help since it's an image.

This is actually the third in an very occasional series which started with Fixiespotting and Commuterspotting.

Rogerzilla is the man to ask...
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: JayP on May 20, 2009, 10:59:44 am
I remember a TV play from years ago about an early English cricket team in Australia. The Captain went to the Aussie changing room to complain about someone on the pitch calling him a bastard. The guy who answered the door listened and then turned to his team mates and said,
“OK Which one of you bastards called this bastard a bastard?

The point is that repeatedly swearing can be funny. But you can’t milk it. I see from the fixiespotting photo that Rogerzilla has just paraphrased an original. I didn’t get that to begin with. So the three fucks are generic ie mandatory. I agree with Greenbank’s Hollywood sequel point.

But sticking funny things in peeps spokes at £3 a time is a good fund raising idea. I tried to get my club mates into witty mud flaps. I had one which said
            THIS BIKE
            Designed by a genius
            Built by a craftsman
            Ridden by a TWAT
Didn’t work tho’. Couldn’t think of any really funny follow ups – any suggestions?
Why not get Mrs MILES to write the spoke things. She can be hilarious just using dictionary English and she knows loads about urine soaked bus shelters.

Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: iddu on May 20, 2009, 03:40:45 pm
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/pnweb/yacf/fixiespotting/audaxspotting_white.png)

There you go :)

Right....I'm up for this.

Same blue as "Scotland Cycle jersey"" at clicky (http://www.thecyclejersey.com), plain shirt with overlaid image as depicted - no faffing please.  Maxed size front & rear, so about 15cm square image?

Jersey (~£32+p&p) or Jacket (~£45+p&p), subject to quantities. MIN ORDER 15 (of each text type) REQD - I count expression of interest for 8 Audax & 1 Fixie in the thread so far...

Sizes: S (34"-36" chest), M (36"-38"), L (38"-40"), XL (40"-42") & XXL (42"-44") - anything more, I'll need to ask.

You can have "Fixiespotting", or, in deference to RZ's mum, the (cleaned) "Audaxspotting" as below, subject to relevant quantities being reached.

If there's enough interest, I'll order next Fri.

P.

(Tarted text)
Choose life.  Choose audaxing.  Choose mudguards.  Choose Brooks.  Choose a 'ucking big saddlebag, choose a map trap, choose route sheets, choose XR, RB, S/O and dynamos.  Choose rain, wind, sleet and snow.  Choose the only type of bike that never gets stolen.  Choose Sudocrem.  Choose a lucky hat and a gilet that went out of fashion in the 1980s.  Choose flapjacks in a range of strange chemical flavours.  Choose a 600 and wonder what the hell you're doing up a Welsh mountain in the dark.  Choose sitting in a village hall trying not to make eye contact with your mind-numbing, spirit crushing fellow riders, drinking orange juice out of a Tetrapak.  Choose rotting away at the end of it all, babbling about the 50/50 rule in some urine-soaked bus shelter, nothing more than an embarrassment to the farking sportives they spawned to replace you.



Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: mattc on May 20, 2009, 03:48:35 pm
Choose life.  Choose audaxing.  Choose mudguards.  Choose Brooks.  Choose a 'ucking big saddlebag, choose a map trap, choose route sheets, choose XR, RB, S/O and dynamos.  Choose rain, wind, sleet and snow.  Choose the only type of bike that never gets stolen.  Choose Sudocrem.  Choose a lucky hat and a gilet that went out of fashion in the 1980s.  Choose flapjacks in a range of strange chemical flavours.  Choose a 600 and wonder what the hell you're doing up a Welsh mountain in the dark.  Choose sitting in a village hall trying not to make eye contact with your mind-numbing, spirit crushing fellow riders, drinking orange juice out of a Tetrapak.  Choose rotting away at the end of it all, babbling about the 50/50 rule in some urine-soaked bus shelter, nothing more than an embarrassment to the farking sportives they spawned to replace you.
An excellent upgrade of Roger's classic 'raw' v1.0.

If I don't buy one, I look forward to seeing them on the road ...
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Really Ancien on May 20, 2009, 03:53:43 pm
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got to be in Coxwold by 18.50 by the latest?

Damon.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: ChrisO on May 20, 2009, 04:03:36 pm

The point is that repeatedly swearing can be funny. But you can’t milk it. I see from the fixiespotting photo that Rogerzilla has just paraphrased an original. I didn’t get that to begin with.


Do people not get this ? It's from the book/film Trainspotting. This is the text from the film poster.

"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suite on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace you. Choose your future. Choose life. "

It's sort of pointless to take away the swearing. It's like making muzak versions of heavy metal or punk, or as Bowdler did, editions of Shakespeare with all the nasty bits removed.

You either like it or you don't but doing a non-swear version just seems bizarre to me.

Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Charlotte on May 20, 2009, 04:09:25 pm
You either like it or you don't but doing a non-swear version just seems bizarre to me.

Me too.  Plz to keep the sweary   :)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: mattc on May 20, 2009, 04:14:17 pm
Do people not get this ?
Don't be silly. Of course we get it. But just because I find some swearing funny, I don't go quoting such things in my great-aunt's drawing room, or the office, or a genteel Cotswolds cafe.

It is possible to have manners AND a sense of humour. Now fuck off and let us have the version we want.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: LEE on May 20, 2009, 04:26:23 pm
It's a stereotype and, like all the best ones, it's made-up.  All audaxers are miserable sociopaths, y'see.

It's a stereotype and, like the best ones, it's based on truth.

Goddamnit! This thread has got me singing "Lust for Loaf" (Soreen malt Loaf gets me up the hills you see).

Another great song I've lost to substitute lyrics I'll never be able to shift.

Apologies if I just implanted them in your head also.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Noodley on May 20, 2009, 04:29:29 pm
Ah, the true spirit of audax....squabbling about bollocks.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Hot Flatus on May 20, 2009, 05:37:07 pm
Indeed.  Audax is one of the most ridiculous activities known to man.  If it wasn't, I wouldn't do it.

Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: border-rider on May 20, 2009, 05:40:29 pm
Indeed

In 2001 I decide to make it even more pointless and difficult for myself by doing it on a bike with no gears.  That seems to have become uncommonly popular now, and the cutting edge of pointless masochism now involves three wheels.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: iddu on May 20, 2009, 06:25:06 pm
You either like it or you don't but doing a non-swear version just seems bizarre to me.

Me too.  Plz to keep the sweary   :)

I have no problem with the sweary, and also prefer same, but if you want the job to be worthwhile and viable, a pastiche may be needed. If anybody commits and indicates a preference, please be advised that I'm simply gonna go with the majority choice on an order, and you'll need the commitment whatever the text to wear your heart on your chest/back...simply expressed, put up or shut up ;)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: MattH on May 20, 2009, 06:30:06 pm
Indeed.  Audax is one of the most ridiculous activities known to man.  If it wasn't, I wouldn't do it.



Now THAT is worthy of a shirt  :)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Greenbank on May 20, 2009, 07:45:48 pm
I still think that the official AUK jersey should have:

"Audax UK" in big letters and underneath, in smaller letters:-

"Right out of control"
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: hugo15 on May 20, 2009, 08:03:36 pm
Got an e-mail from Howies today. They have launched a new site called teepay. Basically you upload your t-shirt design and once it passes 30 orders it goes to print. Each t-shirt sold earns a royalty (cash towards running the site??). Link below if it is of interest.

teepay  (http://teepay.com/)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: JayP on May 20, 2009, 10:34:13 pm

The point is that repeatedly swearing can be funny. But you can’t milk it. I see from the fixiespotting photo that Rogerzilla has just paraphrased an original. I didn’t get that to begin with.


Do people not get this ? It's from the book/film Trainspotting. This is the text from the film poster.


It's sort of pointless to take away the swearing. It's like making muzak versions of heavy metal or punk, or as Bowdler did, editions of Shakespeare with all the nasty bits removed.

You either like it or you don't but doing a non-swear version just seems bizarre to me.


Thanks for pointing that out  ChrisO. No I didn't know that.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: simonp on May 21, 2009, 01:47:16 am
Or, you could leave the original text and include the next part:

But why would I want to do a thing like that?  I chose not to choose life.  I chose something else.  And the reasons?  There are no reasons.  Who needs reasons when you've got heroinesudocrem?

Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 21, 2009, 06:33:06 am
It is Sudocrem, not Sudocreme, by the way.  It usually gets spelt as the latter on this forum  ::-)

http://www.peeble.com/sudocrem.jpg
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Jaded on May 21, 2009, 09:09:30 am
In which case the auto-corrector needs to be brought into action!
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: MattH on May 21, 2009, 09:23:21 am
Thinking of which, Foska do the Heinz beans and soreen shirts etc. Do you thing they'd do a Sudocrem one for audaxers?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: cyclone on May 21, 2009, 09:33:10 am
So then guys are we going to go for it ? ??? I'm sure that the jerseys / t-shirts would sell well and we'd get volume discount. There appears to be a thread elsewhere dealing with bamboo tees and the "fixiespotting" shirt... I'm in for either :thumbsup:
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: LiamFitz on May 21, 2009, 09:39:19 am
Thinking of which, we Foska do the Heinz beans and soreen shirts etc. Do you thing they'd do a Sudocrem one for audaxers?

That would be superb!
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 21, 2009, 05:20:26 pm
So then guys are we going to go for it ? ??? I'm sure that the jerseys / t-shirts would sell well and we'd get volume discount. There appears to be a thread elsewhere dealing with bamboo tees and the "fixiespotting" shirt... I'm in for either :thumbsup:

I believe Phil and iddu are sorting it out.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: longers on May 21, 2009, 08:40:23 pm
Thinking of which, we Foska do the Heinz beans and soreen shirts etc. Do you thing they'd do a Sudocrem one for audaxers?

That would be superb!

I emailed Foska a couple of years ago with this idea and didn't get a reply. I did then think of getting in touch with the manufacturers of Sudocrem but never got round to it.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Martin on May 21, 2009, 09:37:48 pm
genius; have printed it out for m y event not sure whether to blank out all the f's

Why doesn't it end;

And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got points?

edit;

that's why

(http://images.channeladvisor.com/Sell/SSProfiles/33000313/Images/12/pst439.jpg)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 21, 2009, 09:44:08 pm
I rather like "fecking" as a less-likely-to-get-you-arrested-for-wearing-it alternative.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: simonp on May 21, 2009, 10:19:54 pm
I rather like "fecking" as a less-likely-to-get-you-arrested-for-wearing-it alternative.

A former colleague was sent home to change his T-shirt once (before my time at the same company).

The T-shirt read:

"I'm Bruce.  Who the fuck are you?"

The guy's got class.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: border-rider on May 21, 2009, 10:22:08 pm
Mrs MV (who currently is the boss) went into work on Red Nose dressdown day wearing my "I see dumb people" T-shirt :)

Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Jaded on May 21, 2009, 11:47:23 pm
Mrs MV (who currently is the boss) went into work on Red Nose dressdown day wearing my "I see dumb people" T-shirt :)



fnerk  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Martin on May 21, 2009, 11:51:22 pm
That needs to be made into a jersey.

Pls to also make a fixiespotting one.


Testerspotting

Choose tubs; Choose a skinsuit. Choose a disc wheel; choose a dual carriageway; choose an A road; choose an HGV; choose a fucking big HGV with a trailer. Choose a fast car to slowly pass your bottle up. Choose lopro. Choose tribars. Choose an old course nobody's ridden in ages. Choose that fucking smell of embrocation that emanates from a village hall. Choose to shave. Choose an excuse. Choose a minuteman to piss all over. Choose sitting a safe distance behind the guy in front. Choose sitting on that saddle riding mind numbing spirit-crushing 25's up the A22. Choose the G25/54. Choose to have to buy a bloody book to work out what the fuck it's all about.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all cross toasting at the prize giving dinner about how you once did a short 22 up the Devil's Stair; nothing more than an embarrassment to the ( ) they spawned to replace you

Choose life
Choose cyclingtimetrials
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 22, 2009, 06:53:20 am
I very rarely swear myself (apart from "bollocks", which is a wonderfully satisfying word), but it can be funny in its own right when it's not aimed at anyone, but is merely an expression of exasperation...my favourite of all time is Sir Richard Mottram's legendary off-air statement to Martin Sixsmith.

Richard Mottram - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Mottram)

Quote
We're all fucked. I'm fucked. You're fucked. The whole department is fucked. It's the biggest cock-up ever and we're all completely fucked.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: phil d on May 22, 2009, 01:53:23 pm
I very rarely swear myself (apart from "bollocks", which is a wonderfully satisfying word), but it can be funny in its own right when it's not aimed at anyone, but is merely an expression of exasperation...my favourite of all time is Sir Richard Mottram's legendary off-air statement to Martin Sixsmith.

Richard Mottram - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Mottram)

Quote
We're all fucked. I'm fucked. You're fucked. The whole department is fucked. It's the biggest cock-up ever and we're all completely fucked.
I now realise where I learnt to swear - Mottram and I went to the same school, according to that Wiki link. ;)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: TOBY on May 22, 2009, 03:59:07 pm
It's 2009 IMHO a Trainspotting pastiche seems a bit "Naff", doesn't it? they did in '96.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: disrail on May 22, 2009, 04:01:48 pm
Yep, but give it a few more years and it will be oozing retro....

But by then spoke cards and fixed wheel bikes especially will be considered very naff...
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 22, 2009, 04:06:09 pm
What goes around comes around....which is why I still have that jumper from 1985.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: disrail on May 22, 2009, 04:10:43 pm
This one??

(http://www.bbc.co.uk/northyorkshire/competitions/2004/12/15/rapidough/images/bad_jumper_270.jpg)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 22, 2009, 04:13:46 pm
MY EYES!  Is that Gyl*s Br*ndr*th?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: geraldc on May 22, 2009, 04:16:59 pm
It's only a matter of time before Frankie says Relax Audax T shirts are all the rage then.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: plug on May 22, 2009, 04:28:53 pm
Yep, but give it a few more years and it will be oozing retro....

But by then spoke cards and fixed wheel bikes especially will be considered very naff...


Aren't they already?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: mattc on May 22, 2009, 04:39:17 pm
This one??

(http://www.bbc.co.uk/northyorkshire/competitions/2004/12/15/rapidough/images/bad_jumper_270.jpg)

They don't make weather girls like that anymore.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: LiamFitz on May 22, 2009, 04:50:09 pm
Thinking of which, we Foska do the Heinz beans and soreen shirts etc. Do you thing they'd do a Sudocrem one for audaxers?

That would be superb!

I emailed Foska a couple of years ago with this idea and didn't get a reply. I did then think of getting in touch with the manufacturers of Sudocrem but never got round to it.

I was in their shop in Westminster yesterday and got them to print out this strand from the forum....
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: LiamFitz on May 22, 2009, 04:54:44 pm
That needs to be made into a jersey.

Pls to also make a fixiespotting one.


Testerspotting

Choose tubs; Choose a skinsuit. Choose a disc wheel; choose a dual carriageway; choose an A road; choose an HGV; choose a fucking big HGV with a trailer. Choose a fast car to slowly pass your bottle up. Choose lopro. Choose tribars. Choose an old course nobody's ridden in ages. Choose that fucking smell of embrocation that emanates from a village hall. Choose to shave. Choose an excuse. Choose a minuteman to piss all over. Choose sitting a safe distance behind the guy in front. Choose sitting on that saddle riding mind numbing spirit-crushing 25's up the A22. Choose the G25/54. Choose to have to buy a bloody book to work out what the fuck it's all about.
Choose rotting away at the end of it all cross toasting at the prize giving dinner about how you once did a short 22 up the Devil's Stair; nothing more than an embarrassment to the ( ) they spawned to replace you

Choose life
Choose cyclingtimetrials

I think you have 'unresolved issues' here Martin.  Repeat after me ..."time trialling isn't the last refuge of deposed golf club secretaries..."
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 22, 2009, 05:54:08 pm
It's only a matter of time before Frankie says Relax Audax T shirts are all the rage then.

Brilliant!

(http://www.peeble.com/fsa.png)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: red marley on May 22, 2009, 06:00:39 pm
Ok, something a little more de nos jours with a side order of retro:

(http://www.soi.city.ac.uk/~jwo/acf/keepCalm.png)

Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on May 22, 2009, 06:08:59 pm
Or...

KEEP
CALM
AND
CARRY

three spare tubes, a multi-tool, a folding tyre, piece of chain, a Hyper Cracker, a spare gear cable, brake pads, bonk rations, three water bottles, spare GPS batteries, spare light batteries, maps, a spare seatbolt, three different lengths of spoke, gaffer tape and some zip ties.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: zzpza on May 24, 2009, 07:40:01 pm
Ok, something a little more de nos jours with a side order of retro:

(http://www.soi.city.ac.uk/~jwo/acf/keepCalm.png)



nice!  :thumbsup: ;D

btw, the crown's slack (off centre)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: disrail on May 27, 2009, 08:32:47 am
(http://www.busycle.com/images/gallery/10person.jpg)

TR @ mini-O
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on June 24, 2009, 07:08:46 pm
Did the T-shirts come to anything?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: iddu on June 25, 2009, 12:26:09 am
Did the T-shirts come to anything?
Still in progress; waiting on sample colour print to be delivered for approval...
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Redlight on June 25, 2009, 12:07:10 pm
Did the T-shirts come to anything?
Still in progress; waiting on sample colour print to be delivered for approval...

I guess they're unlikely to be ready for LEL.  Shame - it would be quite fitting to ride into Dalkeith wearing it! 
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably) not SFW
Post by: Martin on October 17, 2010, 05:28:10 pm
in case anyone missed it last year; we were talking about this in the cafe yesterday

(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v333/pnweb/yacf/fixiespotting/audaxspotting_white.png)

Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Jabba on October 17, 2010, 09:38:02 pm
What happened to the T-shirts, I want one now, I want one for Xmas, I want one to .... ahh bugger it I just want one, how about a full-length zip 3 back pocket version in merino!?!?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: cyclone on October 17, 2010, 09:58:46 pm
Maybe you could twist Iddus arm 'bout this.... ;)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on October 17, 2010, 10:06:13 pm
ISTR that the stumbling block was the possible IP issue with the Trainspotting design; although parody is generally exempted under copyright law.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: cyclone on October 17, 2010, 10:14:49 pm
Just mentioning as he arranged it last time, he may still have the template etc?? (Legalities aside)
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Redlight on October 18, 2010, 12:58:25 pm
I was recently upbraided for wearing mine on the commute.  A lady on a folder said she thought the "f-ing big saddlebag" was a bit racy.  Now feel embarrassed (and acknowledge that Matt c was probably right).
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: fungus on October 18, 2010, 01:16:02 pm
I was recently upbraided for wearing mine on the commute.  A lady on a folder said she thought the "f-ing big saddlebag" was a bit racy.  Now feel embarrassed (and acknowledge that Matt c was probably right).

I agree, I'd have one if the fucking was changed to something else.  I used to have an Inspiral Carpets cool as fuck t/shirt & that got me into enough trouble back in the day  :P
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: Chris S on October 18, 2010, 03:44:11 pm
Ah yes, and I had a "If it ain't stiff, it ain't worth a fuck" t-shirt from Stiff Records  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: rogerzilla on October 18, 2010, 06:38:04 pm
It still works with asterisks, although it's only about 50% less rude.
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: simonp on October 18, 2010, 06:59:35 pm
I knew a man who was sent home from for wearing a t-shirt:

"I'm Bruce, who the fuck are you?"

Who'da thought that would have been crossing the line?
Title: Re: audaxspotting (inevitably)
Post by: AndyH on October 18, 2010, 07:56:31 pm
Want one please.

YACF is becoming my clothing supplier of choice.