Yet Another Cycling Forum

Off Topic => The Pub => Topic started by: rogerzilla on November 18, 2011, 08:45:04 pm

Title: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 18, 2011, 08:45:04 pm
A thread for pointlessly amusing stories from the local press, not just the running joke that is the Swindon Advertiser.

I'll kick off with this one, which is notable both for the unimpressiveness of the photo and for the eminently sensible first reader comment.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/8683196.I___m_trapped_in_my_own_home_/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Maverick on November 19, 2011, 02:28:43 pm
This is from the far distant (former) provinces

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/227721_10150189670889681_738479680_6991603_7524340_n.jpg (http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/227721_10150189670889681_738479680_6991603_7524340_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: robbo6 on November 19, 2011, 03:50:32 pm
Except it has been a trifle exaggerated
http://chronicle.augusta.com/news/crime-courts/2010-11-26/shoplifting-suspect-stabs-marine?page=3
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: noisycrank on November 19, 2011, 09:29:22 pm
Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614 (http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614)

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 19, 2011, 09:37:21 pm
Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614 (http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614)

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe
Quote
IT’s THAT time of year again. Weather forecasters promise the first flurries of Blue Toon snow in the coming weeks and Christmas is just around the corner.

But as children write their letters to Santa and mums begin to plan their fabulous festive feasts, a dark shadow looms over the town centre which threatens to dampen that community Christmas spirit.

That's almost Tony Parsons-esque.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rower40 on November 23, 2011, 09:42:23 pm
My club getting its Warholesque 10 mins.
http://www.thisisderbyshire.co.uk/River-lights/story-13883950-detail/story.html (http://www.thisisderbyshire.co.uk/River-lights/story-13883950-detail/story.html)

How bad is it going to look if someone drops the Olympic Flame in the water?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 11, 2012, 05:47:50 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9525681.Mum_says_fishy_diet_led_to_birth_of_12lb_12oz_daughter/?ref=mr

Second comment  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Julian on February 11, 2012, 05:56:37 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9525681.Mum_says_fishy_diet_led_to_birth_of_12lb_12oz_daughter/?ref=mr

Second comment  ;D

That's absolutely lovely.  Okay, it's a total non-story, but WTF is wrong with people?  Two comments, one making schoolboy jokes about the possible size of her vagina (vaginas are like concertinas, they can stretch and then return to normality) and the other one criticising a woman WHO HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH FFS for being FAT.  Jeez.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Julian on February 11, 2012, 06:15:08 pm
Although for total non-stories, I think this one's got to be in the running:

http://www.ealinggazette.co.uk/ealing-news/local-ealing-news/2012/02/01/severe-delays-on-piccadilly-line-after-mystery-illness-at-north-ealing-64767-30246103/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 11, 2012, 06:23:52 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9525681.Mum_says_fishy_diet_led_to_birth_of_12lb_12oz_daughter/?ref=mr

Second comment  ;D

That's absolutely lovely.  Okay, it's a total non-story, but WTF is wrong with people?  Two comments, one making schoolboy jokes about the possible size of her vagina (vaginas are like concertinas, they can stretch and then return to normality) and the other one criticising a woman WHO HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH FFS for being FAT.  Jeez.
It sums up Swindon, though, in its sheer crassness.  The story and the comments.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rower40 on February 11, 2012, 06:34:13 pm
Although for total non-stories, I think this one's got to be in the running:

http://www.ealinggazette.co.uk/ealing-news/local-ealing-news/2012/02/01/severe-delays-on-piccadilly-line-after-mystery-illness-at-north-ealing-64767-30246103/
Bzzzt.  Even in the most London-Centric view of the universe, Ealing doesn't count as provincial. ;D

Even so, I hope the casualty Gets Well Soon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rig of Jarkness on February 21, 2012, 06:31:01 pm
A nice story about the goings on on Lothian RT's no 30 bus  :thumbsup:

http://www.scotsman.com/edinburgh-evening-news/mystery_youtube_bus_singing_sensation_revealed_1_2129382
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 22, 2012, 07:13:57 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9544462.Row_erupts_over_naming_of_new_nightclub/?ref=mr

The actual story is boring, but scroll down for the marketing puff at the end  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on February 22, 2012, 08:16:32 pm
Wonderful!  ;D

What the hell were they on when they wrote that?

Having their very organ grasped?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on March 21, 2012, 09:25:27 pm
Spotted by me today, in a York Press from earlier in the week, quoted in full, as verbatim as I can remember.

"A child was locked in a car yesterday in X Street. The child's mother called the fire service at 7.52am. They attended, and persuaded the child to unlock the car from the inside, and left shortly after 8am".


I'm so glad I know where a fire engine was for those 8 minutes...

(there isn't an X Street, BTW, I can't remember which street it was.)


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on March 23, 2012, 04:36:54 pm
I've never been to Whitby so I don't know how believable this is

http://www.scarborougheveningnews.co.uk/news/local/my-mother-is-a-9ft-green-alien-says-councillor-1-4377481?commentssort=1
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on March 23, 2012, 04:42:57 pm
Extremely believable.

Especially during Goth weekend.

What's more terrifying, is that he looks like me, but with less hair.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on March 23, 2012, 04:52:30 pm
Maybe he's you from the future.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on March 23, 2012, 05:01:47 pm
Nah, my mum was purple, not green.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on April 21, 2012, 10:00:14 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9661089.Naked_man_on_path_says_he_needed_toilet/?ref=mr

Poor bloke.  I mean, who hasn't stopped their bike for a roadside slash and then decided to strip off completely?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 18, 2012, 08:09:35 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/9821675.Bungling_council_workers_paint_wrong_road_sign/?ref=mr

Another frantic news day at the Swindon Advertiser.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 11, 2012, 06:54:29 pm
http://www.hemeltoday.co.uk/news/local/hemel-hempstead-dog-poo-bin-set-on-fire-1-4096956
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on October 01, 2012, 01:00:38 pm
http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/firefighters-rescue-man-with-head-stuck-in-bin-1-2556909

When I saw the headline I thought it might be an audaxer but it wasn't.

An update http://www.scotsman.com/news/odd/bucket-heid-man-recalls-shocking-bin-ordeal-1-2556909
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on October 03, 2012, 04:41:33 pm
Funny in that they believe this is actually newsworthy: -

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/pupils-walk-to-school-after-bus-crash-1.1000967?referrerPath=home
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 03, 2012, 05:16:29 pm
That reminds me of a notice I saw outside a primary school somewhere in north Bristol: Please do not park here next Monday as we will be using this area to practice for our walking to school day.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Butterfly on October 03, 2012, 06:20:42 pm
Funny in that they believe this is actually newsworthy: -

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/pupils-walk-to-school-after-bus-crash-1.1000967?referrerPath=home

Forced to walk from a crash 'yards from the school gates'?

OMG! THE HORROR!!!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on October 03, 2012, 07:27:39 pm
:o I hope they are all contacting compensation lawyers to claim for the stress.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on October 03, 2012, 07:30:09 pm
Maybe they didn't have enough hi-vis jackets to go round?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on October 03, 2012, 07:36:11 pm
I saw a little report in the York Press the other day, about an incident where a motorbiker hit a sheep. Apparently, his bike caught fire, which is impressive.  The last line said, "The sheep is thought to have died".

Thought to have? It must have been an especially dim sheep if they can't tell...

(I assume the sheep ran off, and they found a dead one later, but can't be sure that was it)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on October 03, 2012, 07:45:55 pm
The Echo's billboard this morning was some stuff bout experts warning on the potential disappearance of Southend's beaches. It doesn't seem to have found its way onto the website.

The Echo is massively against anything to do with the environmental movement generally, so if experts are warning about sea level rises then they might have to do some adroit thinking, which is something hey are not good at.

Quote from: The Independent
When the Thames Barrier was being designed in the 1970s, global average sea levels were rising at about 1.8 millimetres a year and global warming was not seen as a threat, but in the past 15 years the rate has nearly doubled to about 3.1mm a year and many scientists expect it to accelerate still further.

When we were on Northey Island last month, teh Naturual England bod reckoned the current rate of sea level rise in SE England was 6mm. That's a hell of a lot.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 03, 2012, 07:51:15 pm
6mm per year or per millennium?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on October 03, 2012, 09:10:55 pm
Quiet day on the internet:


blogger-reports-on-dog-poo-headline (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=53981.msg1311598#msg1311598)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on October 03, 2012, 09:16:49 pm
6mm per year or per millennium?

Per year.

Quote
When the Thames Barrier was being designed in the 1970s, global average sea levels were rising at about 1.8 millimetres a year and global warming was not seen as a threat, but in the past 15 years the rate has nearly doubled to about 3.1mm a year and many scientists expect it to accelerate still further.

From http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/climate-change/sea-levels-rising-too-fast-for-thames-barrier-799303.html . That was dated 2008, which, assuming the Nat Eng. lass was right, and 3.1mm was the average for the 15 years from 1003 to 2008, that projects onto a doubling in the past 11 years.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on November 30, 2012, 02:33:41 pm
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/lake-district-hit-by-earthquake-1.1018068?referrerPath=home

Quote
An earthquake struck the Lake District last night.

According to the British Geological Survey, the quake - which had a magnitude of 2.1 on the Richter Scale - originated about 6km underground at Patterdale at 9.37pm.

...

It was the fourth largest quake around the British Isles in the last 50 days, says the BGS


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on November 30, 2012, 03:36:30 pm
Meanwhile, in the westcountry: http://www.midweekherald.co.uk/news/new_loo_for_honiton_golf_club_1_1717003
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on November 30, 2012, 05:16:36 pm
Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614 (http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614)

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe
Oi! I am not rimming slang!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on November 30, 2012, 05:20:15 pm
Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614 (http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/ :hand:absolute_disgrace_1_1952614)

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe
Oi! I am not rimming slang!

We really don't want to know who you are rimming. :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 30, 2012, 08:37:35 pm
Its a disgrace.

http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/absolute_disgrace_1_1952614 (http://www.buchanobserver.co.uk/community/business-directory/ :hand:absolute_disgrace_1_1952614)

"restrictions on fresh air" in Peterhead you are havin a Giraffe
Oi! I am not rimming slang!

We really don't want to know who you are rimming. :hand:
Is "squelch" rimming slang?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on November 30, 2012, 09:52:06 pm
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/lake-district-hit-by-earthquake-1.1018068?referrerPath=home

Quote
An earthquake struck the Lake District last night.

According to the British Geological Survey, the quake - which had a magnitude of 2.1 on the Richter Scale - originated about 6km underground at Patterdale at 9.37pm.

...

It was the fourth largest quake around the British Isles in the last 50 days, says the BGS
Actually, it "Rocked Cumbria" ::-)
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/earthquake-rocks-cumbria-1.1018064?referrerPath=home
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on November 30, 2012, 09:58:58 pm
Never mind though, a dog caught a shark on Seascale beach!

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/catch-of-the-day-1.1018103?referrerPath=home
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Androcles on December 01, 2012, 12:04:12 am
Never mind though, a dog caught a shark on Seascale beach!

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/catch-of-the-day-1.1018103?referrerPath=home

Catshark?  You couldn't make it up. 

Don't tell Webber that the Bull Huss is also known as the Greater Spotted Dogfish
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 03, 2012, 08:25:15 pm
ZOMG ROYAL FOETUS IN BRUM!

http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/uk-news/duchess-of-cambridge-probably-pregnant-when-she-visited-352092
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on December 03, 2012, 08:31:11 pm
*Doffs cap*
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on December 03, 2012, 09:44:23 pm
*Doffs cap*

Isn't that a rather old-fashioned contraceptive? It clearly doesn't work.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 03, 2012, 11:39:18 pm
Kate was a right royal toff
The kind who your cap you would doff
But her cap was doff
Now she's up the doff
I think this has gone on enoff
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 04, 2012, 09:02:02 pm
Jahmene is turning on the Christmas lights in Swindon, the ones that Cheggers was going to do but got rained off.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10086234.Jahmene_Douglas_coming_home_to_Swindon__to_switch_on_lights_at_Wharf_Green/?ref=mr

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on December 04, 2012, 09:20:51 pm
I can't tell you how excited we are at that news.

No, literally, I cannot tell you.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on December 04, 2012, 10:25:16 pm
Jahmene?

When did they start to just make up names for babies?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on December 05, 2012, 06:41:20 am
Jahmene?

When did they start to just make up names for babies?
He's a bit furrinish-looking, so it could be a normal name (also has v. good control over his voice).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 05, 2012, 06:59:12 am
His abusive father, of which we've heard so much, had a fairly normal name.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on December 05, 2012, 07:08:57 am
I can't tell you how excited we are at that news.

No, literally, I cannot tell you.
Because it's Jahmene or because it's not Cheggers?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on December 05, 2012, 07:25:27 am
Jahmene? ???

Who is he???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Giraffe on December 05, 2012, 07:46:41 am
Don't you read the newspapers?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on December 05, 2012, 07:52:30 am
Don't you read the newspapers?

One relies on the Today programme and Private Eye...  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 05, 2012, 08:06:14 am
Jahmene? ???

Who is he???

He is a popular beat combo, My Lord.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Butterfly on December 05, 2012, 10:46:14 am
Jahmene? ???

Who is he???

He is a popular beat combo, My Lord.

All by himself! :o

He must be very good.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 05, 2012, 11:59:51 am
Rueben turned on ours. Or is he Reuben?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 05, 2012, 12:18:55 pm
Billy Reuben?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PhilO on December 05, 2012, 12:29:38 pm
Our local rag is currently moaning about free car parking. (http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/newport_parking/10085304.NEWPORT_PARKING__Argus_campaign_nets_strong_support_from_County_fans/)

The highlight of that report, for me, was:
Quote
Helen Hayward, 60, of Tintern, said she prefers to travel to Cribbs Causeway in Bristol where parking is free

So, lets get this straight; Ms Hayward would rather pay £6 to cross the Severn Bridge and get free parking, than pay £1 for three hours parking?  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on December 05, 2012, 12:31:23 pm
I reckon we could sell her the bridge ;)
Title: Re: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 05, 2012, 01:43:45 pm
Jahmene? ???

Who is he???

He is a popular beat combo, My Lord.

All by himself! :o

He must be very good.
He's actually a male version of the wailing Mariah Carey, who has mastered one song but does everything else in the same OTT style.  And he has the inevitable sob story.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 05, 2012, 02:06:06 pm
Our local rag is currently moaning about free car parking. (http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/newport_parking/10085304.NEWPORT_PARKING__Argus_campaign_nets_strong_support_from_County_fans/)

The highlight of that report, for me, was:
Quote
Helen Hayward, 60, of Tintern, said she prefers to travel to Cribbs Causeway in Bristol where parking is free

So, lets get this straight; Ms Hayward would rather pay £6 to cross the Severn Bridge and get free parking, than pay £1 for three hours parking?  :facepalm:
The Bridge is worth £6 for the views. And the winds.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 05, 2012, 02:08:43 pm
If you had been shopping in Newport you'd probably want to be paid to go there again.  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 05, 2012, 02:14:20 pm
If I had been shopping in Newport I'd cross the bridge for free on my way home. But then I do anyway. Crossed that bridge many times but never paid.  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 05, 2012, 06:57:31 pm
Live by-the-minute coverage;

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10089249.Jahmene_comes_home_to_Swindon/

 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 06, 2012, 10:53:36 am
Is his fringe painted on?
Title: Re: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 06, 2012, 11:01:19 am
Is his fringe painted on?
Someone certainly used a set square.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on December 06, 2012, 12:45:12 pm
Live by-the-minute coverage;

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10089249.Jahmene_comes_home_to_Swindon/

 ;D

I'm still none the wiser.  But who is that with him?  Looks like a slightly more feminine Michael Jackson (if such a thing were possible)...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: CAMRAMan on December 06, 2012, 02:55:31 pm
It's all happening in Warwick... (http://www.warwickcourier.co.uk/news/local/chimney-fire-in-warwick-1-4547843)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on December 06, 2012, 08:06:54 pm
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/isle-of-anglesey-seen-from-walney-1.1015911?referrerPath=news/walney
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 06, 2012, 08:08:40 pm
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/isle-of-anglesey-seen-from-walney-1.1015911?referrerPath=news/walney
It's...er...pretty close.  Is it normally foggy, or something?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on December 06, 2012, 08:23:10 pm
Not sure, but the Isle of Man is easy to see from there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on December 06, 2012, 08:24:06 pm
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/isle-of-anglesey-seen-from-walney-1.1015911?referrerPath=news/walney
It's...er...pretty close.  Is it normally foggy, or something?

I've got a feeling that isn't Anglesey, but the Isle of Man. It looks too hilly to be Anglesey.

I can't claim much expertise here, never having been to Walney Island, but I did photograph Anglesey a few years ago from St. Bees.

Edit: cross post with COG.

(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/4645-1/DSC03469.JPG)

That's the Isle of Man taken at the start of our Coast to Coast 4 years ago.

Anglesey is so close to the mainland that it would be indistingushable from that distance.

(http://www.nwemail.co.uk/polopoly_fs/e94250-1.1015912!image/723652233.jpg_gen/derivatives/wholeColumn/723652233.jpg)

The island to the left is the Calf of Man, I'm pretty sure.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on December 06, 2012, 08:47:24 pm
It's all happening in Warwick... (http://www.warwickcourier.co.uk/news/local/chimney-fire-in-warwick-1-4547843)

Wow, that's almost as exciting as the teatowel on fire reported in the York Press a couple of years ago.

(The teatowel was left on a hob and caught fire. The owner extinguished it by putting it in the sink before the Brigade arrived. The teatowel was slightly damaged)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 06, 2012, 09:30:27 pm
The original inspiration for this, either FHM or Loaded (I forget which) once had a story in which an entire kettle burnt to the ground.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on December 08, 2012, 06:04:56 pm
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/isle-of-anglesey-seen-from-walney-1.1015911?referrerPath=news/walney

(CO'Gs mate)

The EM have excelled themselves with this one, mistaking a whole country for part of another ::-)
It is indeed Cav's homeland, as often seen from Walney.
That isn't the Calf on the left, a common mistake people make when seeing it that clearly, but the southernmost of the Land of Kippers' mountains, South Barrule, remember that only land over a certain height  ( I think 200m, I'll have to calculate it) will appear over the horizon at this distance and  sea level elevation. The Calf is much too low and behind the main island.
North Wales is visible from the higher hills in Furness, but only the very tops of some of the northernmost mountains, in good weather to people who know where to look.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on December 15, 2012, 07:31:07 pm
drugs-factory-uncovered-on-liverpool-street-after-dog-was-electrocuted-and-killed (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news//tm_headline=drugs-factory-uncovered-on-liverpool-street-after-dog-was-electrocuted-and-killed%26method=full%26objectid=32431942%26siteid=100252-name_page.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 16, 2012, 08:12:10 pm
It's those revellers again.  This time they're causing carnage across Britain:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2248992/Christmas-2012-Drunken-revellers-cause-carnage-Britain.html

(Article best read in a Chris Morris voice.  Bonus points for creepy use of literal captioning.)


When's the next FNRttS?  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on December 16, 2012, 08:55:30 pm
http://www.thisiscornwall.co.uk/Swear-word-scratched-car-paintwork-near-St/story-17587523-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 16, 2012, 08:58:43 pm
But the photo is of a police car, not the actual car, so we don't know if it was "damn" or something ruder.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on December 16, 2012, 09:04:29 pm
But the photo is of a police car, not the actual car, so we don't know if it was "damn" or something ruder.

Oh! I'd assumed it was 'Police'. And rather well done.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 17, 2012, 12:44:45 am
Could be 'Devon'?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 21, 2012, 09:24:36 am
Live coverage of the Apocalypse from the Swindon Advertiser.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10122759.Mayan_Calendar__World_ends_December_21___L
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on December 21, 2012, 09:29:31 am
If anything were to convince me we were in The End Times, it might be a trip to Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 21, 2012, 10:02:29 am
I think Swindon willingly embraces the end of the world.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 21, 2012, 01:36:09 pm
Live coverage of the Apocalypse from the Swindon Advertiser.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10122759.Mayan_Calendar__World_ends_December_21___L

Article not found!  The end of the world must be nigh!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Butterfly on December 21, 2012, 02:13:32 pm
Live coverage of the Apocalypse from the Swindon Advertiser.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10122759.Mayan_Calendar__World_ends_December_21___L

Article not found!  The end of the world must be nigh!

I think the end of the world may have been limited to Swindon, where it could do no harm.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kang on December 21, 2012, 02:37:01 pm
WE HAVE TAKEN SWINDON.  DOES ANYONE WANT IT BACK?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on December 21, 2012, 02:38:21 pm
Nah.  You're all reet.  Do you want the rest of the South to go with it?  Shame to split the set.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on December 21, 2012, 08:28:31 pm
please take slough with as well please .it won't be missed  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 24, 2012, 03:10:49 pm
Jahmene has bought a Christmast (sic) tree.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10125412.First_real_Christmast_tree_for_Jahmene_and_family/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clifftaylor on December 24, 2012, 05:29:57 pm
zOMG apocalypse or what:

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10126572.Strong_winds_blow_down_tree_in_Stratton/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on December 25, 2012, 02:21:39 pm
http://www.nwemail.co.uk/home/post-box-blown-up-in-grange-1.1023705?referrerPath=news/grange
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Clare on December 25, 2012, 02:48:46 pm
Jahmene has bought a Christmast (sic) tree.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10125412.First_real_Christmast_tree_for_Jahmene_and_family/?ref=mr

What is a Jahmene?

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 25, 2012, 02:51:09 pm
Jahmene has bought a Christmast (sic) tree.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10125412.First_real_Christmast_tree_for_Jahmene_and_family/?ref=mr

He's probably installed a mobile phone aerial in it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on January 02, 2013, 05:34:53 pm
http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/10136456.Have_you_been_hit_by_a_sewage_smell_in_Caerwent_/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tewdric on January 02, 2013, 05:40:39 pm
http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/10136456.Have_you_been_hit_by_a_sewage_smell_in_Caerwent_/

Flatus did ride through within 10 miles or so the other week..
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on January 02, 2013, 08:11:04 pm
Sadly, I didn't have my camera with me a few days ago when our local rag's billboards screamed the apocolyptic headline "Man is injured in seafront flat".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on January 02, 2013, 10:11:07 pm
http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/10136456.Have_you_been_hit_by_a_sewage_smell_in_Caerwent_/

At the other end, Caernarfon often smells of intestinal byproducts. And pee. It's never mentioned in the papers though.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Toady on January 02, 2013, 10:35:01 pm
Loving this thread.  When I was a student my mother used to cut out stories from the Abergavenny Chronicle and send them to me pasted to postcards.  Sadly I've lost them now, gems like  Well Known Milkman Retires and Sad Death of Cat.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on January 03, 2013, 12:19:37 am
Ladies and gentlemen, if it's "Poorly parked mo-ped in toppling horror" or "Vicar - no cycle clips shock" or "Plwmp community jumble sale raises £13.25 for pet hamsters in war-zones", you want, then I give you my favourite local- The Tivey Side Advertiser (http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/)

We but it every week for the hilarity.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on January 03, 2013, 12:59:42 am
(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/17959-1/IMAG0103.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on January 03, 2013, 02:24:02 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, if it's "Poorly parked mo-ped in toppling horror" or "Vicar - no cycle clips shock" or "Plwmp community jumble sale raises £13.25 for pet hamsters in war-zones", you want, then I give you my favourite local- The Tivey Side Advertiser (http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/)

We but it every week for the hilarity.
Yebbut yebbut yebbut! What about this?

http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10128725.Cyclists_told_to_stay_off_pavements/ (http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10128725.Cyclists_told_to_stay_off_pavements/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on January 03, 2013, 03:05:59 pm
Police do not know what caused bus to crash into a lamppost (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/no_indication_what_caused_bus_to_crash_into_lamppost_say_police_1_1758560)

Less than competent driving, I'd suggest  :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on January 03, 2013, 07:13:07 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, if it's "Poorly parked mo-ped in toppling horror" or "Vicar - no cycle clips shock" or "Plwmp community jumble sale raises £13.25 for pet hamsters in war-zones", you want, then I give you my favourite local- The Tivey Side Advertiser (http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/)

We but it every week for the hilarity.

Love this one:

http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10128919.Christmas_cooker_fire/

There was something similar in the York Press once, involving a teatowel.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on January 03, 2013, 07:44:23 pm
I seem to remember the Birmingham Mail (then The Evening Mail) some years ago had a headline on page n "Naked Man Found Dead"
On reading the three column inch article one discovered where this naked man was found.

In his bed.  :o

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 03, 2013, 07:45:21 pm
By far the most calamitous story from Basil's neck of the woods has to be this.
Quote
Teddies taken

10:31am Friday 21st December 2012 in News
Two small 'Jellycat' teddies were stolen from Elliana's store in Cardigan on December 17.

The theft took place at approximately 2.30pm, and the suspect is described as a white female in her mid to late 20's.

She is of a large build and was wearing a dark jacket with a heart shaped union jack emblem on the chest.

The female was holding a distinctive large Sports Direct / Lonsdale plastic bag.

Anyone with information is asked to contact Cardigan Police Station on 101.
http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10123043.Teddies_taken/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on January 05, 2013, 01:46:47 pm
http://www.scotsman.com/news/scottish-news/top-stories/plumber-fixes-pensioner-s-catheter-leak-1-2720761
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 05, 2013, 07:27:15 pm
Okay, it's old.  And the principle has been well documented elsewhere.  But worth it for the photo:

Classical music deters teenagers from shopping centre (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-16307364)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on January 05, 2013, 07:33:08 pm
Okay, it's old.  And the principle has been well documented elsewhere.  But worth it for the photo:

Classical music deters teenagers from shopping centre (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-16307364)

Quote from: A Policeman
Since the scheme went live, fewer young people are gathering on the ramp and we've seen a dip in the number of people who are asking us to move them on.

"Officer, I'd like to be moved on in order to avoid having to listen to this classical music. Could you oblige please, in order to help me overcome my inertia?"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on January 05, 2013, 08:07:08 pm
They did the same thing in Swindon to stop the scratters swarming over IK Brunel's statue:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wiltshire/3157494.stm

Obligatory crap joke at the end.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 05, 2013, 08:11:17 pm
Okay, it's old.  And the principle has been well documented elsewhere.  But worth it for the photo:

Classical music deters teenagers from shopping centre (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-16307364)
"the Pallasades"? Is that a typo or is actually called that? (In a minute we can deal with whether teenagers hanging round is actually a problem)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 05, 2013, 08:13:38 pm
Yup.  It's the retail opportunity above Mordor Central.

http://www.thepallasades.co.uk/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on January 05, 2013, 10:23:39 pm
It has (or had) a 98p shop, which is one in the eye for Poundland and the 99p Store.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on January 06, 2013, 12:59:15 am
They did the same thing in Swindon to stop the scratters swarming over IK Brunel's statue:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wiltshire/3157494.stm

Obligatory crap joke at the end.

Westfield Swindon.

That's quite a thought.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Salvatore on January 06, 2013, 02:50:22 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/A_3ZmoaCQAAHHIB.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cuddy duck on January 06, 2013, 03:09:26 pm
http://www.morpethherald.co.uk/news/business/businesses-news/parking-tickets-drove-me-away-1-5038309

This was front page, banner headline fare.
The griping aromatherapist lives 1.3 miles, door to door, from her clinic. A 20 minute walk or 5 minute bike ride. Some 6 peak time buses an hour pass the end of her street en route the bus station which is closer - 20 yards - to her business than any legal parking space.
Her decision to drive every day doesn't even meet criteria of narrowest and most short term self-interest that informs much urban driving, because look, it causes her suffering.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on January 06, 2013, 05:02:07 pm
Do her ten students from Japan (i.e. 40% of her course) really want to drive? Have they all hired cars? Hmm. Morpeth has a population of 14000, so it's small enough that everywhere should be in easy walking distance from the centre, & it looks pretty compact on the map. Perhaps she's seriously inconveniencing them by moving the course to Cramlington.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on January 06, 2013, 05:08:18 pm
The headline should have read "Aromatherapist kicks up a stink".

Is aromatherapy not a subsection of the wide and diverse field of science which comes under the heading "Utter Bollocks"?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on January 06, 2013, 05:15:55 pm
A quack ducking the issue?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on January 06, 2013, 06:12:43 pm
The headline should have read "Aromatherapist kicks up a stink".

Is aromatherapy not a subsection of the wide and diverse field of science which comes under the heading "Utter Bollocks"?
1,  :thumbsup:
2. Yes.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cuddy duck on January 06, 2013, 07:09:45 pm
Do her ten students from Japan (i.e. 40% of her course) really want to drive? Have they all hired cars? Hmm. Morpeth has a population of 14000, so it's small enough that everywhere should be in easy walking distance from the centre, & it looks pretty compact on the map. Perhaps she's seriously inconveniencing them by moving the course to Cramlington.
Well quite. If fewer loons drove over trivial distances into the centre to work every day the town's congestion and parking over-subscription problems would be solved at a stroke. Room enough for her students, room enough for the golden-egg laying shoppers to drive in for 46miles of knicker elastic from the Sewing Shop, a pallet of E L James from Appleby's Bookshop and a 100gallon drum of E45 cream from the Wellway Pharmacy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 07, 2013, 12:01:12 am
This pile of shit went national:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9778470/Health-warning-as-manure-fire-burns-in-Duchess-of-Cambridges-home-village.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on January 07, 2013, 09:24:16 am
This pile of shit went national:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9778470/Health-warning-as-manure-fire-burns-in-Duchess-of-Cambridges-home-village.html


"...firefighters warned substances within the heap could release particles that could irritate airways, the skin and the eyes."


Or as we know it, smoke.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 12, 2013, 07:42:32 pm
http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/invasive_killer_slug_found_outside_norwich_1_1790374
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on January 26, 2013, 08:25:50 am
(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/18021-1/IMAG0106.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: slope on January 26, 2013, 04:50:50 pm
Storm in Gog

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-20860465
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on January 26, 2013, 06:17:05 pm
Storm in Gog

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-20860465
That's a killer outfit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: slope on January 27, 2013, 04:11:06 pm
Storm in Gog

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-20860465
That's a killer outfit.

What a Carry On Up The Pwllheli

"Dr Lewis was expecting the cashier to ask him for "pum-deg-wyth punt, chwedeg-dau".

But instead she said his shopping was "fifty-eight pounds and sixty-two pence".

When the first officer from North Wales Police arrived back-up had to be called because he was a non-Welsh speaker"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: asterix on January 28, 2013, 07:44:35 am
I gotta say that altho' this is an amusing thread, it does smack somewhat of condescension. 

After all, provincial newspapers suffer the eagle eye of their bigger brethren who at a moments notice can swoop in and pinch the best stories leaving them sole coverage of minutiae and trivia.

We should celebrate the fact that we can read about mattesses disrupting people's lives as some relief from the tsunamis and earthquakes that irrevocably devastate entire populations.   

The reader who asks:

Quote
Has it been removed yet? Has anyone had the decency to help this poor lady get out and about? News update required!!!

Was quite right, the story is incomplete, we need to know!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on January 28, 2013, 10:33:47 am
http://www.croydonguardian.co.uk/news/10186457.___I_will_kill_everyone__screams_antisocial_behaviour_mediator_during_homophobic_attack/?ref=mr

 ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mmmmartin on January 28, 2013, 10:52:29 am
When the FNRttc did LonJog we stopped for coffee at South Queensferry, and someone leant their bike against the windows of this shop

 http://goo.gl/maps/cuG4i (http://goo.gl/maps/cuG4i)

and he called the police, which we thought was quite funny.

What was even funnier was that within 10 minutes, two policemen actually arrived. Those living in That London, where you practically have to be murdered to get a copper, were bemused. So outside the M25, it's different.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on January 30, 2013, 09:01:02 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10192612.Puppy_dies_minutes_into_Swindon_store_grooming/

A sad tale of mouthwash, a wedding and anthropomorphism.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jules on January 30, 2013, 11:11:31 pm
Using a dog as the "best man" - That's funny even for Swindon.

£1800 for a dog!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on January 31, 2013, 08:28:33 pm
Using a dog as the "best man" - That's funny even for Swindon.

£1800 for a dog!

But it's not about the money, remember.  Makes you wonder why they mentioned the cost then...

Found this today:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10198186.UFO_over_York__Police_probe_reports_of_space_debris_falling_in_York/

“An officer attended the scene and found a hole in a grass verge approximately 1ft deep,” she said.

“There was no debris inside the hole and we are not in a position to confirm how or when the hole was made. The City of York Council will be made aware of the hole."

I wonder if they'll rush to fill it in as fast as the potholes on Foss Islands Road and Walmgate junction.

Apparently there was some space debris over Yorkshire last night, I missed it. Or it missed me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on January 31, 2013, 09:02:53 pm
Found this today:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10198186.UFO_over_York__Police_probe_reports_of_space_debris_falling_in_York/

“An officer attended the scene and found a hole in a grass verge approximately 1ft deep,” she said.

“There was no debris inside the hole and we are not in a position to confirm how or when the hole was made. The City of York Council will be made aware of the hole."
It was them spacewowbadgers, I reckon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on February 01, 2013, 01:26:35 pm
Found this today:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10198186.UFO_over_York__Police_probe_reports_of_space_debris_falling_in_York/

“An officer attended the scene and found a hole in a grass verge approximately 1ft deep,” she said.

“There was no debris inside the hole and we are not in a position to confirm how or when the hole was made. The City of York Council will be made aware of the hole."
It was them spacewowbadgers, I reckon.

It's a crying shame.  What a waste of an opportunity to say that they will be looking into it
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 08, 2013, 08:50:16 am
Michaela got bitten in her special place by a capital city.

Here (http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/Michaela-Strachan-recalls-died-lima-bit-wild/story-18088025-detail/story.html#axzz2KIMPg9iv)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on February 08, 2013, 09:00:03 am
Warning: Clicking on that link could make a little Cheggers pop up! :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on February 08, 2013, 10:58:01 am
Donkeys really benefit from doing things with people (http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/Donkeys-really-benefit-doing-things-people/story-18089456-detail/story.html#axzz2KIuU7T3Y)
[Western Morning News]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on February 11, 2013, 04:35:10 pm
York Evening press never fails

Quote
Sentamu: Pope will be missed

THE shock resignation of Pope Benedict XVI has saddened Catholics in York.
Quote

Sentamu. That would be the Archbishop of York.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 11, 2013, 06:45:27 pm
Not the brightest pikey-do-as-you-likeys; dumped their crap in the entrance of a car park, then realised they couldn't get out.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10219693.Shock_over_flytipping_at_park/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on February 12, 2013, 07:42:13 am
Not the brightest pikey-do-as-you-likeys; dumped their crap in the entrance of a car park, then realised they couldn't get out.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10219693.Shock_over_flytipping_at_park/?ref=mr

Ah - the Cotswold Water Park.  One of Private Eye's favourite 'In the Back' series...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 12, 2013, 07:55:22 am
It's a load of windswept gravel pits with "second home only" (keeps the poor people out) flats around the edge of some of them.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on February 12, 2013, 01:33:19 pm
Sounds as if parts of it may be attractive to doggers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on February 12, 2013, 05:00:48 pm
Sounds as if parts of it may be attractive to doggers.

Roger has a season ticket....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 19, 2013, 08:27:16 pm
Two amusing descriptions of Swindon flashers.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10237061.Chubby_man_exposed_himself_near_school/

and a particularly dim burglar

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10235884.Shopkeeper_slams__the_worst_thief_in_the_world_/

I think you're getting a reasonably rounded picture of Swindon Man here.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 19, 2013, 08:31:32 pm
Quote
...the Wong Kee Fish Bar...

Sounds like a quality establishment.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 19, 2013, 09:07:57 pm
And the scampi comes with the cream of Sum Yung Gai.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 19, 2013, 09:38:28 pm
It's a load of windswept gravel pits with "second home only" (keeps the poor people out) flats around the edge of some of them.

It's full of weekenders who don't like hills.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: matthew on February 21, 2013, 09:30:38 am
what's Roger been up to now? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-21528992)  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 21, 2013, 11:03:04 am
Often they burn them instead.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on February 25, 2013, 02:23:06 pm
This tickled my funnybone... (http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Famous-car-prank-will-be-re-staged-25022013.htm)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on February 25, 2013, 02:28:55 pm
Shame they're not actually putting it on the roof. :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 25, 2013, 11:39:59 pm
When does the Chimney Fire Season (http://www.cotswoldjournal.co.uk/news/10250244.Chimney_fire_season_continues_in_the_Cotswolds/?ref=mr) end  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on February 25, 2013, 11:53:42 pm
And how does one use breathing apparatus to extinguish a fire?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 25, 2013, 11:58:08 pm
Carefully.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 26, 2013, 06:38:15 am
This (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-21577948) just in from one of the further-flung provinces.

Obviously, in Didcot or Swindon you can see this any Saturday in summer.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 27, 2013, 09:36:37 pm
Never has there been a more banal artist's muse.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10255970.Exhibition_of_paintings_inspired_by_Swindon_McDonald_s/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 27, 2013, 10:29:02 pm
This (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-jersey-21577948) just in from one of the further-flung provinces.

Obviously, in Didcot or Swindon you can see this any Saturday in summer.
Marriage... it's all about providing a stable environment for kids to grow up in.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: madcow on February 28, 2013, 11:00:17 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10256214.Police_use_robber_s_mobile_phone_to_call_his_mother__court_told/?ref=mr (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10256214.Police_use_robber_s_mobile_phone_to_call_his_mother__court_told/?ref=mr)

"Unsophisticated"= Your honour, I wish to point out that my client is not likely to be considering  membership of  MENSA in the near future.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PaulF on March 01, 2013, 10:31:11 pm
http://www.heraldseries.co.uk/news/10255720.Cyclists_refute_claim_website_encourages_speeding/

Quote
And in Bayworth Down in Boars Hill, a cyclist was logged at 46mph along a 40mph road, approaching speeds Tour de France and Olympic gold medallist Bradley Wiggins regularly clocks during sprints.

I'll letbou read the taxi driver's comments for yourself....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on March 01, 2013, 10:32:22 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10256214.Police_use_robber_s_mobile_phone_to_call_his_mother__court_told/?ref=mr (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10256214.Police_use_robber_s_mobile_phone_to_call_his_mother__court_told/?ref=mr)

"Unsophisticated"= Your honour, I wish to point out that my client is not likely to be considering  membership of  MENSA in the near future.

Judge Spittle. One for the nominative determinism thread, that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 04, 2013, 06:12:44 pm
Oh dear...I hope this isn't the fault of a certain YACFer  :o

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10265441.Bomb_scare_in_West_Swindon/

/compulsory Swindon joke

It was a bomb scare because they were scared it might not go off, then they'd have to keep living and working in West Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on March 04, 2013, 06:58:50 pm
Lib Dem councillor in Ratners moment shows not-so-Blyth spirit (http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/communities/blyth/2013/03/02/northumberland-council-boss-jeff-reid-labels-blyth-a-dump-72703-32911111/).

I've never been to Blyth, but unbelievably he says he prefers to shop in Cramlington.. Blyth can't be that bad!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on March 04, 2013, 07:24:21 pm
Ceredigion baddies are getting well techie. (http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10265420.Mobile_phone_stolen_in_burglary/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on March 04, 2013, 08:19:55 pm
Since the Police have released such a full description: 'black', I guess everyone is now looking out for it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on March 04, 2013, 08:30:42 pm
Since the Police have released such a full description: 'black', I guess everyone is now looking out for it.

I've just realised my phone is black. I must have stolen it!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on March 04, 2013, 08:32:17 pm
I like the appeal for witnesses.

Were you in the room when they picked it up?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: COG on March 05, 2013, 06:13:20 pm
Never mind the mobile, what about the ammunition tin?
http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/10265434.Theft_of_sentimental_wartime_item/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 05, 2013, 07:55:06 pm
Pure class from Swindon.

Tramps leave graffiti tribute to fellow tramp.  Great photos.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10266084.Pals_leave_tribute_as_Swindon_s____Codger____is_laid_to_rest/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Dibdib on March 05, 2013, 08:05:21 pm
Oh dear...I hope this isn't the fault of a certain YACFer  :o

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10265441.Bomb_scare_in_West_Swindon/

/compulsory Swindon joke

It was a bomb scare because they were scared it might not go off, then they'd have to keep living and working in West Swindon.

Not guilty, m'lud... Although I think I'll have my Wiggle orders delivered to home rather than the office from now on!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 05, 2013, 08:24:38 pm
Sing Hosanna!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-21667164

A replacement has been found for Wonkey the Donkey.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on March 05, 2013, 10:04:11 pm
That is a relief.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on March 11, 2013, 11:17:53 am
Slow news day on the outskirts of Swansea (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Tables-stacked-differently-Llwchwr-council/story-18365075-detail/story.html#axzz2NEEKaOxu).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on March 11, 2013, 02:59:18 pm
Slow news day on the outskirts of Swansea (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Tables-stacked-differently-Llwchwr-council/story-18365075-detail/story.html#axzz2NEEKaOxu).

LOL!  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on March 11, 2013, 04:25:39 pm
Thank god someone has finally seen sense in Llwchwr.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on March 13, 2013, 09:55:08 pm
Slow news day on the outskirts of Swansea (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Tables-stacked-differently-Llwchwr-council/story-18365075-detail/story.html#axzz2NEEKaOxu).

Is Llwchwr near Llaregub?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on March 13, 2013, 10:19:39 pm
Not local to me, but an absolute corker nevertheless

Amazing... (http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/Man-tried-making-love-ambulance-Barnstaple-bus/story-18137026-detail/story.html#axzz2Ku10WhjP)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 13, 2013, 10:41:47 pm
Those poor peanuts....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on March 13, 2013, 10:43:28 pm
Not local to me, but an absolute corker nevertheless

Amazing... (http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/Man-tried-making-love-ambulance-Barnstaple-bus/story-18137026-detail/story.html#axzz2Ku10WhjP)

"But he was then spotted on CCTV in a phone box setting light to a packet of peanuts while also punching them."

What did the poor peanuts do to him!?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on March 13, 2013, 10:44:36 pm
Those poor peanuts....

<envisions photo of peanuts looking sad in front of phone box>
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Toady on March 15, 2013, 10:22:10 pm
Anger as faeces found in Brighton and Hove council opposition office (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10254190.Anger_as_faeces_found_in_Brighton_and_Hove_council_opposition_office/)

Quote
An investigation has been launched as officials try to get to the bottom of who is responsible for the foul play in Kings House, Hove.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on March 15, 2013, 10:25:28 pm
Anger as faeces found in Brighton and Hove council opposition office (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10254190.Anger_as_faeces_found_in_Brighton_and_Hove_council_opposition_office/)

Quote
An investigation has been launched as officials try to get to the bottom of who is responsible for the foul play in Kings House, Hove.

Two councillors, one cup?  :demon: ;D :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: red marley on March 15, 2013, 10:48:46 pm
Those poor peanuts....

<envisions photo of peanuts looking sad in front of phone box>

http://jimllpaintit.tumblr.com/post/45285399182/dear-jim-this-happened-recently-in-a-little-town
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on March 15, 2013, 11:11:27 pm
(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/18043-1/IMAG0115.jpg)

(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/18040-2/IMAG0114.jpg)

(http://peter.chesspod.com/gallery/d/18037-2/IMAG0111.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 16, 2013, 03:13:22 pm
Linked from the council poo story above, another great one with a photo.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/9846650.Poo_found_in_Brighton_council_microwave/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on March 16, 2013, 03:55:37 pm
And then there is the did it/didn't it horse "rescued" from swimming pool story also from clicking links

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10294725.Horse_rescued_from_swimming_pool/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 22, 2013, 01:18:28 pm
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10306221.Finger_licking_BAD__Student_finds_kidney_in_KFC/

That's a chicken kidney, not horse or anything interesting.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on March 22, 2013, 01:31:31 pm
Chicken kidney? Perfectly edible. Makes very good gravy. What's the idiot whining about?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 22, 2013, 01:34:45 pm
Chicken kidney? Perfectly edible. Makes very good gravy. What's the idiot whining about?

Traces of chicken found in a KFC, presumably.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on March 22, 2013, 02:00:38 pm
Randy couple thrown out of Hatfield McDonald’s (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/randy_couple_thrown_out_of_hatfield_mcdonald_s_after_toilet_romp_1_1987368)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on March 23, 2013, 10:02:24 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-21875431

NFN.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on March 23, 2013, 04:59:34 pm
Fatal Attraction: The Student Years.

(http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8226/8582358059_0e8bf01ea3_c.jpg) (http://www.flickr.com/photos/30024450@N04/8582358059/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on March 23, 2013, 07:00:28 pm
Cornish slurry fetish. (http://www.middevonstar.co.uk/news/8885350.Pervert_caught_pleasuring_himself_in_slurry_for_third_time/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 23, 2013, 07:05:49 pm
What, again?  Surely the slurry's a bit cold for that sort of thing...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on March 23, 2013, 07:29:41 pm
Quote
he has masturbated in a muck spreader and set fire to outbuildings

he must really be generating some heat!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on March 23, 2013, 07:46:50 pm
I imagine that would need quite a lot of tissues.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on March 23, 2013, 07:49:34 pm
Quote
The child came across him naked in a field amongst cow dung and mud.

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 23, 2013, 09:57:52 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-21875431

NFN.
They might not be pretty enough for supermarkets but they look much like the parsnips labelled "dirty parsnips" in the greengrocer's, except less muddy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on March 24, 2013, 08:06:10 am
What, again?  Surely the slurry's a bit cold for that sort of thing...

Slurry tends to have its own heat.  Add the friction (I guess slurry isn't a good lube)...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 26, 2013, 06:43:39 am
Swindon is getting a third lap dancing club.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10312317.Lap_dancing_club_is_given_the_green_light/

I think it's trying to become the Soho of the south-west.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on March 27, 2013, 08:24:25 pm
Today in the local rag: a large egg (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10315866.Giant_egg_a_contender_for_biggest_in_UK/?ref=mmsp) and a (very cute) small lamb (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/ryedale/10315732.Brr__Brr__Black_sheep___Micro_Lamb_attracts_fans_from_aound_the_world/?ref=mr).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on March 27, 2013, 08:54:00 pm
Terrible loss of life in rail disast... Oh, wait. No. As you were....

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10315796.Road_train____derailed____as_it_lets_ambulance_go_by/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on March 27, 2013, 10:38:09 pm
Forecast dismay. (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/10316822.Snow_falling_in_Stroud/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on March 28, 2013, 04:28:04 am
Anger as faeces found in Brighton and Hove council opposition office (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/10254190.Anger_as_faeces_found_in_Brighton_and_Hove_council_opposition_office/)

Quote
An investigation has been launched as officials try to get to the bottom of who is responsible for the foul play in Kings House, Hove.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/9846650.Poo_found_in_Brighton_council_microwave/?ref=rl
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 28, 2013, 10:05:04 pm
Forecast dismay. (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/10316822.Snow_falling_in_Stroud/?ref=mr)
The headline doesn't really sell the story.  MET OFFICE SUCK would have done it so much better.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 30, 2013, 12:33:29 am
Didn't stop for a photo, but a sign outside a newsagent in Yapton this morning bore the headline "Man arrested for violence at Butlins"

Attempting to find a reference via google revealed that this isn't an uncommon occurrence:

http://www.bognor.co.uk/news/twelve-arrested-after-bognor-regis-butlins-brawl-1-3223985
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on March 30, 2013, 09:20:02 am
bognor  ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 30, 2013, 03:52:16 pm
Yeah, well, if it had been Skegness it would have been arson instead.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 30, 2013, 06:02:07 pm
We really need a personal hygiene expose from the Skegness Standard, just for the headline SMEGGY SKEGGY.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on March 30, 2013, 06:29:48 pm
We all drowned in a yellow duckmarine (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news//tm_headline=iconic-yellow-duckmarine-sinks-in-liverpool-s-albert-dock%26method=full%26objectid=33090240%26siteid=100252-name_page.html)

Thankfully not, but that must have been scary. 

(http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/liverpoolecho/mar2013/9/1/duckmarine-sinking-in-liverpool-s-albert-dock-pic-roger-o-doherty-379515767.jpg)

Good thing it didn't happen when Brenda & Phil went for a spin last year (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2145240/Your-carriages-await-Maam-Brave-Queen-cruises-Mersey-duck-rides-monorail-Chester-Zoo-Diamond-Jubilee-tour.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on April 01, 2013, 02:54:15 pm
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10325370.Neighbours_of_city_centre_fast_food_outlet_tell_of____frightening____violence__intimidation_and_noise/

A few points I thought of:

McDonalds was there before the flats. If you don't want to live over the road from a fast food outlet, don't move into a flat opposite one...

Quote
she and her teenage son “have been eyewitnesses to the most terrible behaviour imaginable” from McDonald’s customers.

Yeah, they are out there on a nightly basis decapitating each other with machetes and setting each other on fire.

Quote
residents were kept awake by “a constant flow of taxis”

That wouldn't be anything to do with the big taxi rank round the corner would it?  Honestly, how many people come out of McDonalds and call a cab?

I have to admit to some bias. We collect recycling from those flats, and they are a pain in the arse for access - whenever they change the access code, they forget to tell us, take ages to get back to inquiries and then ring up to complain the recycling hasn't been collected.

I'm not always on the side of Big Corps, but in this case, I'm behind McDs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on April 01, 2013, 03:46:57 pm
We get a 'constant flow of taxis' here.  The drunken students tend to stop off at the 24 hour Tesco at the end of the road and then catch taxis back up the hill.  Which would be fine, except that since both sides of the road are full of cars, taxi drivers tend to just sit in the middle of the road and hoot their horns to announce their presence (and occasionally get into stand-offs with people wanting to go the other way) .  It annoys me far more than the equally noisy drunken shenanigans, because professional drivers ought to be better behaved than a load of rowdy teenagers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on April 02, 2013, 09:00:51 am
As a student I never even considered using a taxi.  Far, far too expensive.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on April 02, 2013, 09:05:16 am
We all drowned in a yellow duckmarine (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news//tm_headline=iconic-yellow-duckmarine-sinks-in-liverpool-s-albert-dock%26method=full%26objectid=33090240%26siteid=100252-name_page.html)

Thankfully not, but that must have been scary. 

(http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/liverpoolecho/mar2013/9/1/duckmarine-sinking-in-liverpool-s-albert-dock-pic-roger-o-doherty-379515767.jpg)

Good thing it didn't happen when Brenda & Phil went for a spin last year (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2145240/Your-carriages-await-Maam-Brave-Queen-cruises-Mersey-duck-rides-monorail-Chester-Zoo-Diamond-Jubilee-tour.html)

I hate those things.  There's several of them in London.  They seem to be driven by psychopaths with no concern for other road users.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Juan Martín on April 02, 2013, 09:42:30 am
I see DUKWs on the water regularly during my lunchtime runs along the embankment and entering and leaving the river by a slip at Vauxhall Bridge. They appear to have only a few inches of freeboard and be quite under-powered; I have been waiting for something like this to happen on the Thames. I am surprised that they have been granted a licence to operate to be honest; they look distinctly dodgy to me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Dibdib on April 02, 2013, 09:43:18 am
As a student I never even considered using a taxi.  Far, far too expensive.

Yeah, me neither - and I lived at the top of a bloody great hill*. at ten grand a year, you (or at least mummy and daddy) have got to be loaded to go to uni these days...

* the on-campus housing at Aberystwyth, for those wot know it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on April 02, 2013, 12:36:03 pm
As a student I never even considered using a taxi.  Far, far too expensive.

I think I used a taxi twice as a student.  Once because I was too ill to walk home, and once because I'd just got a fantastic deal on a second-hand workhorse laser printer in the LCS.

I started university in the first academic year group to be hit by tuition fees.  And graduated in the last group who seemed to respect the traditional approach to student finances.  These days they're all in mind-numbing debt, so sharing a taxi after a night on the piss is lost in the noise.  And anyway, you're not supposed to drink and drive.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on April 02, 2013, 01:29:50 pm
As a student I never even considered using a taxi.  Far, far too expensive.
Whereas in Manchester at the end of the 70s it was cheaper to use a taxi if there were four of you (or two once the night buses started) as long as you stayed within the city boundaries, so we used them quite frequently.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on April 03, 2013, 05:41:48 pm
I see DUKWs on the water regularly during my lunchtime runs along the embankment and entering and leaving the river by a slip at Vauxhall Bridge. They appear to have only a few inches of freeboard and be quite under-powered; I have been waiting for something like this to happen on the Thames. I am surprised that they have been granted a licence to operate to be honest; they look distinctly dodgy to me.

Liverpool DUKW drivers claim unfair dismissal over raising safety issues  (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2013/04/03/exclusive-yellow-duckmarine-drivers-claim-unfair-dismissal-over-safety-fears-100252-33108126/)

Oops...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on April 04, 2013, 04:46:24 pm
Woman not hurt in dramatic crash

http://www.uxbridgegazette.co.uk/west-london-news/local-uxbridge-news/2013/04/04/driver-unhurt-in-dramatic-ruislip-high-street-crash-113046-33115702/ (http://www.uxbridgegazette.co.uk/west-london-news/local-uxbridge-news/2013/04/04/driver-unhurt-in-dramatic-ruislip-high-street-crash-113046-33115702/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on April 06, 2013, 09:10:01 pm
Mystery of removal of scarves from sheep in Sussex.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-22050711 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-22050711)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on April 13, 2013, 01:28:28 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-22110776

On first read I missed out the 'a shepherd' and marvelled at the abilities of Gloucestershire's Police force.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on April 16, 2013, 03:01:06 pm
Does Swindon only exist to provide stories for this thread?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-22158829
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: davelodwig on April 30, 2013, 03:21:37 pm
Self driving cars down south apparently

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10386967.Miracle_escape_for_elderly_couple_after_car_plunges_from_car_park_roof/?ref=rss
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on May 01, 2013, 06:41:39 am
Self driving cars down south apparently

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10386967.Miracle_escape_for_elderly_couple_after_car_plunges_from_car_park_roof/?ref=rss

The worst thing is they'll allow him to keep his license...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on May 01, 2013, 08:09:05 am
Oi!  Don't lump Bournemouth in with "Down South".  I may be down South, but its a very special case, on account of the average age being about 134.  A bit like Eastbourne really, soemwhere to go to die, as there's not a lot else to do there anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on May 01, 2013, 11:45:56 am
"We don't use Chlorophyll now" (http://www.thisisexeter.co.uk/don-t-use-chlorophyll/story-18799319-detail/story.html#axzz2S2KTiQEV)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on May 01, 2013, 01:35:42 pm
"We don't use Chlorophyll now" (http://www.thisisexeter.co.uk/don-t-use-chlorophyll/story-18799319-detail/story.html#axzz2S2KTiQEV)

 ::-)   :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on May 01, 2013, 10:11:36 pm
I was put under with Chlorophyll once, I woke up feeling a little green about the gills...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on May 02, 2013, 06:36:08 am
You can buy a BMW with four seats shocker
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on May 02, 2013, 07:13:50 pm
Parkham WI embarrassed by dressing as pirates for talk by former Somali pirate hostage (http://www.thisisnorthdevon.co.uk/Parkham-WI-embarrassed-dressing-pirates-talk/story-18871181-detail/story.html#axzz2S8f4xQXu)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on May 02, 2013, 09:55:50 pm
Saw this story in the Press earlier:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10384950.Six_injured_after_inflatable_slide_blows_over/

A slightly comic incident, but what amused me was the sentence:

Quote
The slide was blown across Ripley Cricket Club, near Harrogate, shortly after 10am yesterday and was later seized by investigators.

I imagine the investigators running across the field after it, before seizing it...

(A similar thing happened at a school fete when I was a kid. The bouncy castle blew over, somewhat startling the ponies being ridden next to it. Several children got their first taste of galloping!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on May 03, 2013, 04:03:21 pm
Firefighters Free Dead Duck (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/firefighters_free_dead_duck_1_2173415)  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Flynn on May 03, 2013, 06:54:43 pm
Parkham WI embarrassed by dressing as pirates for talk by former Somali pirate hostage (http://www.thisisnorthdevon.co.uk/Parkham-WI-embarrassed-dressing-pirates-talk/story-18871181-detail/story.html#axzz2S8f4xQXu)

That. Is. Priceless!  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on May 05, 2013, 06:07:33 am
Knob tossing & eating (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-22366197).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on May 07, 2013, 03:48:13 pm

"Police hunt Incredible Hulk after McDonald's assault"
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on May 07, 2013, 06:41:29 pm

"Police hunt Incredible Hulk after McDonald's assault"
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/)

Well, I'll keep an eye out, shouldn't be too hard to spot!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on May 07, 2013, 07:05:08 pm
She'd get lost in the crowd in Hull.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on May 07, 2013, 07:40:42 pm

"Police hunt Incredible Hulk after McDonald's assault"
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/)

Well, I'll keep an eye out, shouldn't be too hard to spot!

Looking at the photo, I'd have said Princess Fiona from Shrek, rather than the Hulk.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on May 07, 2013, 07:54:42 pm

"Police hunt Incredible Hulk after McDonald's assault"
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10403755.Police_hunt_Incredible_Hulk_after_McDonald_s_assault/)

Well, I'll keep an eye out, shouldn't be too hard to spot!

Looking at the photo, I'd have said Princess Fiona from Shrek, rather than the Hulk.

Not sure Fiona wore a ripped shirt...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on May 07, 2013, 08:39:40 pm
I didn't get a photo this morning because I had left my phone on charge, but the Echo's screaming headline was

Quote
KILLER TRIED TO CUT FRIEND'S HEAD OFF
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on May 09, 2013, 03:33:58 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/national/10410218.Milkman_attacked_by__goblin__robber/

Can't have been the quickest getaway...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on May 10, 2013, 01:20:13 pm
Wear Valley panther sightings continue. (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10409998.Panther_mystery_deepens_as_more_black_cats_spotted/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on May 10, 2013, 01:37:15 pm
More hard-hitting news from the Northern Echo:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/darlington/10410655.Man_ordered_to_pay_compensation_after_stealing_lager/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on May 11, 2013, 03:35:52 pm
Baby named after car in which she was born.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-22479134

Classy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on May 11, 2013, 04:28:13 pm
More hard-hitting news from the Northern Echo:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/darlington/10410655.Man_ordered_to_pay_compensation_after_stealing_lager/


"Mike Clark, mitigating, said Thompson had stolen the lager because he could not afford to pay for it."

Have I been misunderstanding the definition of 'mitigating' all these years? 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on May 13, 2013, 07:18:39 am
Baby named after car in which she was born.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-22479134

Classy.

They're from Royston.  'Nuff said....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on May 21, 2013, 10:49:28 pm
Southend 'Mr Blobby' house painted in revenge wedding prank (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-22611581)

The article helpfully fills in all sorts of Mr Blobby background info, for the benefit of Wowbagger.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on May 21, 2013, 10:58:41 pm
The ever reliable Express & Echo:-
Crews called to ride on lawnmower fire in Cuckoo Down Lane (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Crews-called-ride-lawnmower-Cuckoo-Lane/story-19006111-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on May 21, 2013, 11:02:33 pm
The ever reliable Express & Echo:-
Crews called to ride on lawnmower fire in Cuckoo Down Lane (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Crews-called-ride-lawnmower-Cuckoo-Lane/story-19006111-detail/story.html)

...and...

http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/crews-called-remove-ring-Exeter-woman-8217-s/story-19045730-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 22, 2013, 12:14:57 pm
The ever reliable Express & Echo:-
Crews called to ride on lawnmower fire in Cuckoo Down Lane (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Crews-called-ride-lawnmower-Cuckoo-Lane/story-19006111-detail/story.html)
I wouldn't like to ride on a lawnmower fire but I guess that's how some people get their kicks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on May 22, 2013, 01:41:59 pm
It's a "Milk float crashes into wall, no-one hurt"* kind of story.

*Anyone know where that came from?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on May 22, 2013, 02:44:49 pm
More hard-hitting news from the Northern Echo:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/darlington/10410655.Man_ordered_to_pay_compensation_after_stealing_lager/


"Mike Clark, mitigating, said Thompson had stolen the lager because he could not afford to pay for it."

Have I been misunderstanding the definition of 'mitigating' all these years?
I can't afford to pay for a Lamborghini Aventador. Should I plead this in mitigation, should I ever be caught stealing one? Or would my sentence be increased for taking the piss?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on May 23, 2013, 06:28:20 pm
It's a "Milk float crashes into wall, no-one hurt"* kind of story.

*Anyone know where that came from?

When I was 12 or so, a milk float crashed into the telegraph pole outside our house, at 5 in the morning. I don't know how many of you have ever heard several crates of milk bottles fall off the back of a milk float, but it's quite a noise!  Mum and Dad went out and checked the driver was ok, let him use our phone to ring the dairy, gave him a cuppa while he waited for the back-up float and recovery crew.  He gave them a pint of double cream - an unheard-of quantity of luxury for us then.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on May 23, 2013, 06:42:02 pm
When I was small enough that free school milk was still a thing, I remember a crate (or more?) being dropped during the delivery and what seemed to be a spectacular milk slick on the playground at break time.  This was as exciting as things got (without actual hospital admission) at that age.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on May 23, 2013, 06:54:58 pm
Probably the messiest thing I ever saw in that vein was when a delivery driver rolled a pallet of 3lt bottles of Robinsons squash out of the lorry onto the tail lift of the lorry delivering to the supermarket I worked at. Sadly, the tail lift was down, not up.

It's very sticky stuff, squash.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on May 23, 2013, 07:57:45 pm
Michael Jackson tribute act meets sometime MJ bodyguard.  Wow.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10439952.It___s_a_Thriller_to_meet_you/

Quote
“Ben has done a good job at looking like him and the good thing about him is he hasn’t had plastic surgery done"

That's because, unlike the real MJ, Ben was born white  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on May 23, 2013, 08:11:14 pm
It's a "Milk float crashes into wall, no-one hurt"* kind of story.

*Anyone know where that came from?

When I was 12 or so, a milk float crashed into the telegraph pole outside our house, at 5 in the morning. I don't know how many of you have ever heard several crates of milk bottles fall off the back of a milk float, but it's quite a noise!  Mum and Dad went out and checked the driver was ok, let him use our phone to ring the dairy, gave him a cuppa while he waited for the back-up float and recovery crew.  He gave them a pint of double cream - an unheard-of quantity of luxury for us then.

I watched a float reverse into a pile of filled crates in a milk depot. The headline is from 1978, the San Serriffe Daily Telegraph.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on June 14, 2013, 07:28:07 pm
Crediton Country Courier (http://www.creditoncouriernewspaper.co.uk/news.cfm?id=19131&headline=Aim%20for%20Crediton%20to%20become%20%E2%80%98dementia%20friendly%E2%80%99%20town)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on June 14, 2013, 08:51:06 pm
This is actually a potentially exciting story:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10466084.Runaway_van_crashes_next_to_city_centre_pub/

I liked the juxtaposition of statements though:

Exciting!

Quote
He (a witness) said: “They were very, very lucky, I think. A couple of feet to the side, and it could have been a different story.

“It just came out of nowhere. I was typing away and heard people shouting others to get out of the way, quite frantically. It was quite dramatic, because there were quite a lot of people in the way. People were shouting from both sides of the river. The van lifted a couple of feet at the back because it really walloped the bollard.”


and

Not exciting!

Quote
A spokeswoman for North Yorkshire Police confirmed that officers had attended the scene, and said no damage had been done to any property or structures, and that nobody had been injured.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on June 14, 2013, 08:53:26 pm
Oh, and courtesy of someone on Cyclechat who spotted it:

http://www.nottinghampost.com/Couple-return-holiday-grass-street-cut-different/story-19155350-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on June 15, 2013, 06:58:56 pm
I see DUKWs on the water regularly during my lunchtime runs along the embankment and entering and leaving the river by a slip at Vauxhall Bridge. They appear to have only a few inches of freeboard and be quite under-powered; I have been waiting for something like this to happen on the Thames. I am surprised that they have been granted a licence to operate to be honest; they look distinctly dodgy to me.

Liverpool DUKW drivers claim unfair dismissal over raising safety issues  (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2013/04/03/exclusive-yellow-duckmarine-drivers-claim-unfair-dismissal-over-safety-fears-100252-33108126/)

Oops...

And again..... :facepalm:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-22922039 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-22922039)

I think I saw some of these on the Thames last weekend as well.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Littlesox on June 16, 2013, 05:33:58 am
More hard-hitting news from the Northern Echo:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/darlington/10410655.Man_ordered_to_pay_compensation_after_stealing_lager/


"Mike Clark, mitigating, said Thompson had stolen the lager because he could not afford to pay for it."


Have I been misunderstanding the definition of 'mitigating' all these years?
I can't afford to pay for a Lamborghini Aventador. Should I plead this in mitigation, should I ever be caught stealing one? Or would my sentence be increased for taking the piss?

I'm off to Epic Cycles of Ludlow tomorrow to steal a Bianchi Oltre.

If I get caught, I'll offer the fact that I can't afford to buy it as mitigation.

Unbelievable.

And probably, we were all paying for Mike Clark via the Legal Aid system.

Bah !
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Toady on June 18, 2013, 04:20:06 pm
It's all happening in Whitby

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10488568.Whitby_councillor_claims_to_have_fathered_alien_child/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on June 19, 2013, 09:56:08 am
(damn, I was just about to post the Whitby councillor/abductee story)

More hard-hitting news from the Northern Echo:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/darlington/10410655.Man_ordered_to_pay_compensation_after_stealing_lager/


"Mike Clark, mitigating, said Thompson had stolen the lager because he could not afford to pay for it."


Have I been misunderstanding the definition of 'mitigating' all these years?
I can't afford to pay for a Lamborghini Aventador. Should I plead this in mitigation, should I ever be caught stealing one? Or would my sentence be increased for taking the piss?

I'm off to Epic Cycles of Ludlow tomorrow to steal a Bianchi Oltre.

If I get caught, I'll offer the fact that I can't afford to buy it as mitigation.

Unbelievable.

And probably, we were all paying for Mike Clark via the Legal Aid system.

Bah !

Well, he has to say something ;D

He has form for this sort of thing:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/southdurham/bishopauckland/10302339.Thief_banned_from_shop_after_stealing_coffee_and_choclate/

Quote
Mike Clarke mitigating said Wilson was waiting for his benefits to re-start after being released from prison and had no money.

He seems to be blessed with particularly unimaginative clients.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: CAMRAMan on June 19, 2013, 01:34:37 pm
A rather ironic battering... (http://www.warwickcourier.co.uk/news/local/man-knocked-unconscious-after-attack-at-leamington-festival-1-5192102)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on June 20, 2013, 10:31:26 am
Only in Glastonbury. (http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Man-penis-costume-assaulted-Glastonbury-High/story-19328715-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on June 20, 2013, 12:02:08 pm
Sounds like he was being a bit of a dick.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on June 23, 2013, 09:55:02 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10502051.Prostitute_fleeced_OAP_of_his___5k_savings/

I'd be proud to feature in a story like that, at his age.  Chapeau!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on June 23, 2013, 08:12:04 pm
What services were you thinking you'd offer?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on July 04, 2013, 01:10:47 pm
Kettering man sticks random objects together. (http://www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/top-stories/symbol-designed-to-wish-good-luck-to-andy-murray-1-5241559)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on July 04, 2013, 10:06:30 pm
Kettering man sticks random objects together. (http://www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/top-stories/symbol-designed-to-wish-good-luck-to-andy-murray-1-5241559)

Poor bugger.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on July 04, 2013, 11:12:41 pm
ICA Wins Teh Internets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 05, 2013, 06:25:24 am
To be fair, there isn't much else to do in Kettering and he can sell it on fleaBay afterwards because it's "been in the news".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on July 05, 2013, 07:21:58 am
Kettering man sticks random objects together. (http://www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/top-stories/symbol-designed-to-wish-good-luck-to-andy-murray-1-5241559)

Poor bugger.
I especially like how he's not particularly a supporter of Andy Murray.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on July 05, 2013, 07:50:11 am
Cow rescued from river:

http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/10527215.Cow_rescued_after_tumbling_100ft_into_river_at_Sedbergh/ (http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/10527215.Cow_rescued_after_tumbling_100ft_into_river_at_Sedbergh/)

With pictures and everything:

(http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/resources/images/2524214.jpg?type=articleLandscape)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Chris S on July 08, 2013, 10:55:00 pm
Is it just me, or is some lawyer somewhere, being a bit fucking petty?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-23226366
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on July 08, 2013, 11:42:43 pm
Somebody somewhere is being bloody stupid. Doesn't know the difference between good & bad publicity. Cost of leaving it be? Nothing. Cost of making yourself appear a right bastard, & mind-bogglingly petty-minded at the same time? Incalculable, but potentially real.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 09, 2013, 05:16:37 am
Next time, paint it in leather with arseless chaps and have a dwarf gorilla carrying a silver salver of cocaine* in front of it.  I bet they didn't copyright that.


*old Queen aftershow party urban legend
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on July 09, 2013, 07:23:20 am
Of course, they could have just asked the estate for permission and, having told them what it was in support of, they'd probably have been given permission.

It seems to me the artist tried to get round the rules (by changing the design on the jacket) and got caught out.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 09, 2013, 10:00:47 am
Erm unless I've misread that story, the copyright belongs to a charity and they were objecting to a commercial organisation using it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on July 09, 2013, 10:13:24 am
Erm unless I've misread that story, the copyright belongs to a charity and they were objecting to a commercial organisation using it.

I don't believe that the Freddie Mercury Estate is a charity.

The Freddie Mercury Estate objected to a commercial organisation using copyrighted imagery.  It's clear that the commercial organisation and the artist knew about the copyright issue and tried to get round it.  I think that if permission had been sought in the first place from the Estate, they'd probably have agreed to the imagery being used, given what was going to happen to the statues further down the line.

There are two charities that will benefit from the sale of these in the future.  I think they're being referred to the try and make the Estate out to be the baddies, rather than looking at why a commercial organisation looked to bypss copyright rules in the first place.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on July 09, 2013, 11:14:45 am
A Mum has vowed to defy new rules which could see her daughter banned from playing basketball outside her own home.

http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/angry_welwyn_garden_city_mum_i_won_t_stick_to_new_flag_ban_1_2266182

 :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on July 09, 2013, 04:29:31 pm
Scary crow (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-23206966)  :o

Illustrated with a picture of a rook  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on July 09, 2013, 11:32:52 pm
No photo of the headline but it read "Mass brawl at TOWIE bar".

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/local_news/10520380.Four_injured_in_TOWIE_Bar_Blanco_brawl/?action=complain&cid=11769724
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on July 10, 2013, 10:12:55 am
And (former) colonies . . . .

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/10170744/Australian-DJ-in-royal-prank-sues-employer.html (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/australia/10170744/Australian-DJ-in-royal-prank-sues-employer.html)

 :facepalm:

Is she heading for a Taylforth moment? Or is she going to get away with "It's all their fault! They didn't stop me!"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on July 10, 2013, 10:22:42 am
That report is incorrect (it is the Telegraph, after all).  Jacintha Saldanha did not reveal any details, but just put the call through to the ward, where the nurse on duty gave out information.  The impersonations by the DJs were pathetically poor, perhaps deliberately so, and they never expected even to get through, let alone have someone discuss personal matters, possibly in breach of the DPA (that's not been tested, but it seems very likely).

Worth noting that the call came through to nursing staff because the hospital didn't employ any admin or managerial staff to work out of hours, and the on-call rota was shaky at best, according to reports.

Worth noting also that the Telegraph is a strident advocate of the privatisation of healthcare.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on July 10, 2013, 11:12:15 am
Blame me for picking the first one off the list which gave the (to me) significant information about the current story, without bothering to read the rest of what it said.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on July 10, 2013, 11:38:52 am
Not at all.  You can't be held responsible for the poor standards of work coming out of SW1 (or wherever they are based).

I agree, however, it's a bit odd that she is suing her employer, though the stress she no doubt suffers is as a result of something which happened in the workplace.  Yes, it was her own actions, but you'd have to know the environment in which she works.  The station is, apparently, known for trying to push the limits, and it is quite possible that there is a lot of pressure on their employees to perform stunts and maybe take it a bit far. 

Hard to say.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 10, 2013, 02:04:49 pm
I think she is sueing her employer because her co-dj has been allowed back on the radio but she hasn't.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on July 10, 2013, 06:31:15 pm
Has she not been allowed back on air by the station or is she still signed off with stress?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 10, 2013, 08:01:36 pm
I know Catford doesn't count as provincial, but I think the hilarious photoshop job makes up for it:

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10534660.Catford_fox_horror_for_man_on_toilet/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on July 10, 2013, 08:11:40 pm
Excellent grrrrrr pose.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on July 10, 2013, 08:24:08 pm
I know Catford doesn't count as provincial, but I think the hilarious photoshop job makes up for it:

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10534660.Catford_fox_horror_for_man_on_toilet/

"It was like a wild animal."

It WAS a wild animal, you twonk!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on July 10, 2013, 09:05:13 pm
Photoshop?  I'm glad you told us, or we might not have spotted it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on July 10, 2013, 10:01:11 pm
Photoshop? More like Paint if you ask me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 11, 2013, 12:26:37 pm
Could also qualify for motorised moron status, but the reporting style lends itself to this thread...

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10539181._Audi_sandwich__closes_road_in_Swanage/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on July 11, 2013, 01:29:36 pm
I know Catford doesn't count as provincial, but I think the hilarious photoshop job makes up for it:

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10534660.Catford_fox_horror_for_man_on_toilet/

"It was like a wild animal."

It WAS a wild animal, you twonk!

I must confess I did like the context sensitive adverts fro soft close toilet seats I got with the article.  Very topical...  He may be an idiot, but he's not all bad, he's got a pussy cat.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 11, 2013, 09:23:50 pm
Completely harmless lizard on the loose in Swindon.  Police called.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10539088.Police_hunt_missing_lizard_in_Nythe/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 12, 2013, 01:24:31 pm
Dr Who-themed maze, including 300m-long dalek
(http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/resources/images/2537430.jpg?type=articlePortrait)

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10544888.First_images_of_the_new_Doctor_Who_themed_York_Maze/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10544888.First_images_of_the_new_Doctor_Who_themed_York_Maze/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 12, 2013, 06:43:48 pm
That's not a maze, it's a highly sophisticated crop circle. It's time to be worried, very worried.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 25, 2013, 09:03:25 pm
Little Eye on...er...The Capital

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-23452815

Importer of Chinese party tat and wife call minicab.  Gosh.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on July 25, 2013, 10:07:22 pm
Gripping.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on July 25, 2013, 10:37:20 pm
Woman in sumo wrestler suit assaults ex-girlfriend who waved at man dressed as Snickers bar (http://www.irishcentral.com/news/news_from_ireland/Woman-in-sumo-wrestler-suit-assaults-ex-girlfriend-after-waving-at-man-dressed-as-Snickers-bar-97262439.html).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on July 25, 2013, 10:44:31 pm
Nasty rituals on Dartmoor (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-23454912).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on July 27, 2013, 09:05:16 pm
Sheepdog dies (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-23476324).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 27, 2013, 09:07:56 pm
Point of order: that's a dogsheep - much more interesting (or at least comedy) than a sheepdog.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on July 27, 2013, 11:39:31 pm
 :facepalm:

I wasn't paying attention, but you're right - more curious.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on July 29, 2013, 05:02:58 pm
Sheepdog dies (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-23476324).

"Mr Roberts said the death last month had left him devastated as Rolo, eight, was like one of the family."

You shag one, just one, and...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on August 01, 2013, 07:57:05 pm
I spotted this in a copy of the York Press from this week:

"Pan Fire Alarm

A pan caught fire when it was left unattended on an oven hub (sic) in Friarage Gardens, Northallerton. The blaze set off a smoke alarm and badly damaged the pan."


Amazed it didn't make the News at Ten....



Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on August 05, 2013, 12:10:49 pm
"Ferret Attacks Man"

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10590803.Ferret_attacks_man_as_he_sleeps_on_sofa/?ref=ar (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10590803.Ferret_attacks_man_as_he_sleeps_on_sofa/?ref=ar)

Quote
...the animal then grabbed and savaged his television remote control.

Obviously a male ferret. Men are always squabbling over who gets the remote.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on August 05, 2013, 10:12:03 pm
Panic on the streets of Penrith:

(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/57044735/IMG_2202.JPG)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Dibdib on August 11, 2013, 09:34:01 am
The latest from Shepton Mallet.

http://usvsth3m.com/post/57952725799/apology-demanded-from-darth-vader-reports-local-paper
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on August 11, 2013, 06:16:22 pm
Herd of cows from Stockport farm head to housing estate (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-23654993)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on August 12, 2013, 08:17:34 am
Herd of cows from Stockport farm head to housing estate (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-23654993)

The fact they came from Bongs Farm might explain a few things...  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on August 12, 2013, 12:34:57 pm
Council to look at a toilet brown sign scheme (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-23662922)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on August 12, 2013, 01:48:08 pm
Chocolate bar has similar number of calories to comparable chocolate bars. (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10604750.Calorie_concerns_over_Wonka_bars/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on August 14, 2013, 12:25:29 pm
http://www.thisissomerset.co.uk/Janet-James-cyclists/story-19654215-detail/story.html#axzz2bwQXRbQk
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on August 14, 2013, 09:48:09 pm
What an ignorant, ill-informed person.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: red marley on August 15, 2013, 11:46:09 am
http://www.thisissomerset.co.uk/Janet-James-cyclists/story-19654215-detail/story.html#axzz2bwQXRbQk

That's great. It's like someone has turned the internet upside down. The article consists of a hodgepodge of ill-informed badly argued spluttering rants, and the responses are carefully reasoned, polite and interesting reads.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on August 15, 2013, 12:04:39 pm
Never thought we'd end up on the front page!

Cyclists' joy over bike route to city centre (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/local-news/middleton-cyclists-joy-over-bike-5719971)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on August 15, 2013, 12:18:00 pm
Looks like you have the title and URL the wrong way round torslanda.

I see you got quoted though :thumbsup:
Cyclists' joy over bike route to city centre (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/local-news/middleton-cyclists-joy-over-bike-5719971)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on August 15, 2013, 12:20:47 pm
Too much Radio 2 wine . . .

Sorted. I slump corrected.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on August 16, 2013, 11:31:40 am
In the Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser: Unremarkable men walk 40 miles for no particular reason (http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#ixzz2c7FeMTcz?1588245343&redirected=true)

via everybody on Twitter.

"Bunch of Leatherheads go Dorking", if you prefer.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 16, 2013, 11:49:23 am
In the Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser: Unremarkable men walk 40 miles for no particular reason (http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#ixzz2c7FeMTcz?1588245343&redirected=true)

via everybody on Twitter.

"Bunch of Leatherheads go Dorking", if you prefer.
That's wonderful!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on August 16, 2013, 01:15:59 pm
In the Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser: Unremarkable men walk 40 miles for no particular reason (http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#ixzz2c7FeMTcz?1588245343&redirected=true)

via everybody on Twitter.

"Bunch of Leatherheads go Dorking", if you prefer.

 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on August 17, 2013, 01:05:42 pm
Men find a bone! (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2013/08/17/bone-found-by-builders-at-bishops-castle-town-hall/)

Not even human FFS
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on August 17, 2013, 09:30:43 pm
Men find a bone! (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2013/08/17/bone-found-by-builders-at-bishops-castle-town-hall/)

Not even human FFS

I wish they'd got some more photos from different angles, I might be able to ID it...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Littlesox on August 18, 2013, 09:12:20 am
In the Dorking and Leatherhead Advertiser: Unremarkable men walk 40 miles for no particular reason (http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#ixzz2c7FeMTcz?1588245343&redirected=true)

via everybody on Twitter.

"Bunch of Leatherheads go Dorking", if you prefer.
That's wonderful!

I like the line "group of accountants, surveyors, that sort of thing"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on August 18, 2013, 12:29:30 pm
Free doughnuts for fat middle aged men! (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10616868.Sweet_delights_help_firm_power_through/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on August 20, 2013, 09:01:23 am
Quote
Bearing such solid British names as Chris, Ian and Simon, the "50-ish" Dorking residents picked a random Saturday and a meaningless route and walked 40 miles just because they could. Ian Giles, spokesman for the group of "accountants, surveyors, that sort of thing", explained: "we thought we should do something for no particular reason.

Truly in the spirit of YACF - perhaps they'd like to join ?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on August 22, 2013, 11:25:55 am
Nasty rituals on Dartmoor (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-23454912).

...are not in fact nasty rituals. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-23779265)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on August 22, 2013, 12:39:23 pm
In a similar vein

Ram torched in sick arson attack (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/ram_torched_to_death_in_sick_arson_attack_near_welwyn_garden_city_1_2330746)...

...may not, in fact, have been torched (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/mystery_over_what_killed_torched_ram_police_now_say_1_2332957)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on August 22, 2013, 01:15:55 pm
http://www.thisisdevon.co.uk/legged-man-accused-benefit-fraud-officials/story-19682497-detail/story.html#axzz2cWX934m0
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on August 22, 2013, 04:13:02 pm
Meanwhile, in Wiltshire:

https://twitter.com/BBCWiltshire/status/370509105867141120
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on August 23, 2013, 09:15:19 pm
A whole grill pan was razed to the ground in Swindon (but the fire was out by the time the fire brigade arrived)

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10629912.Fire_crews_called_to_Croft_Road/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on August 24, 2013, 11:15:05 pm
A Carmarthern man shouted “nah, nah, nah, nah” while shaking his bottom at police officers before being arrested a court has heard. (http://www.carmarthenjournal.co.uk/Carmarthen-man-arrested-shaking-incident/story-19701654-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on August 26, 2013, 12:22:26 pm
http://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/glasgow-man-says-edinburgh-ketchup-charge-racist-1-3062264

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on August 26, 2013, 10:41:06 pm
Does that mean I have a disability discrimination case against northern chippies with brown sauce in ketchup-shaped bottles?   :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on August 26, 2013, 11:47:15 pm
Weather always brings out the best in people.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-23831558

Quote from: Complete airhead of an Essex 4*4 driver
My 4x4 is like a monster truck, stands about 7ft (2.2m) high and is fitted with a snorkel exhaust. We'd already driven through some flooding, but as I went into this I thought 'It's deep' so put the car into reverse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on August 27, 2013, 08:09:18 am
Does that mean I have a disability discrimination case against northern chippies with brown sauce in ketchup-shaped bottles?   :hand:
You've got more of a case than he has!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on August 30, 2013, 07:52:34 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-23892142

Wind blows some hay about.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on August 30, 2013, 09:52:09 am
Is it cheating to offer the headline from the Middle Park & Sutcliffe In Touch, our local ward Tory newsletter?

Quote
CONSERVATIVES: TESCO QUEUE IS DANGEROUS
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on August 30, 2013, 12:38:27 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10639859.Grass_cutting_is_council_job_____according_to_lease___/

Grass not cut for TWO MONTHS.  Children "may be injured".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on August 30, 2013, 01:17:22 pm
Not sure whether its Yorks or Warwks, but this is pretty gripping stuff.

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BS6j5EEIYAAEpkY.jpg)

Please God someone comes forward in time  :'(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on August 30, 2013, 06:31:14 pm
Northallerton hits the headlines.

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10645994.Northallerton_glasses_wearer_in_running_for_award/?ref=la
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on August 30, 2013, 06:34:02 pm
Man mistakes street for car park, threatens to sue.

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10633475.Legal_action_threatened_over_parking_ticket_confusion/?ref=mc
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on August 30, 2013, 09:14:10 pm
Northallerton hits the headlines.

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/10645994.Northallerton_glasses_wearer_in_running_for_award/?ref=la
Little four-eyes of the provinces.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on August 31, 2013, 11:12:30 pm
In a similar vein

Ram torched in sick arson attack (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/ram_torched_to_death_in_sick_arson_attack_near_welwyn_garden_city_1_2330746)...

...may not, in fact, have been torched (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/mystery_over_what_killed_torched_ram_police_now_say_1_2332957)

Check out the picture caption:

Quote
A ram (not involved in the attack)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on September 01, 2013, 01:30:28 pm
Cow grazing on common. (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/10636382.Stunned_commuter_spots_pantomime_cow_grazing_on_the_common/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 01, 2013, 03:01:03 pm
Cow grazing on common. (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/10636382.Stunned_commuter_spots_pantomime_cow_grazing_on_the_common/)
Jaded could have been the head, but the arse end must have been Flatus.  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on September 02, 2013, 01:30:50 am
Make a mess of my mattress boyo and I'll tan your hide (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-23807617)

I blame Robbie Savage.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on September 02, 2013, 01:04:00 pm
Gareth Bale not buying property in Cuffley (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/gareth_bale_is_certain_to_leave_spurs_for_real_madrid_says_village_sighting_fan_1_2357413) and

Bakery which was closed is to open again (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/refurbished_bakers_set_to_reopen_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_2361945)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on September 02, 2013, 03:15:57 pm
Dark reality when the sun sets... (http://www.westernmorningnews.co.uk/sun-sets-dark-reality-badger-culling-emerges/story-19738531-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on September 04, 2013, 01:21:13 pm
'Semi-erect' OAP caught shampooing his genitals on a bus claims he's 'no hardened criminal' (http://www.mkweb.co.uk/News/Man-74-shampoos-genitals-on-Bedford-bus-after-having-issues-with-his-briefs-20130903121453.htm)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on September 04, 2013, 09:34:04 pm
'Semi-erect' OAP caught shampooing his genitals on a bus claims he's 'no hardened criminal' (http://www.mkweb.co.uk/News/Man-74-shampoos-genitals-on-Bedford-bus-after-having-issues-with-his-briefs-20130903121453.htm)

Only semi-hardened then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on September 05, 2013, 11:01:44 pm
Steal eye spin. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-23970021)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 06, 2013, 06:42:43 am
Little Eye on the 49th State.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-23971537
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on September 06, 2013, 08:53:59 am
Steady on!  Surely the Mayor getting savaged by a dog is important news.  I can't imagine how I would feel if it happened to Boris Johnson.

Oh.  Hold on.  I think I can. ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 06, 2013, 10:57:34 am
But what if it happened to the Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche!!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on September 06, 2013, 02:18:56 pm
There are bears.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 06, 2013, 03:36:51 pm
With shovels.

(Do the bears in Surrey have shovels too?)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on September 09, 2013, 05:27:10 pm
Dog gets stuck in tree (http://www.gazetteseries.co.uk/news/10662809.Dog_gets_stuck_in_tree/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on September 12, 2013, 04:10:50 pm
Villagers of Sonning-on-Thames, including Uri Geller, have been left puzzled as to how people could post letters or collect them from the box which is impossible to reach on foot and liable to flooding.
(http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02667/POSTBOX_2667192b.jpg)


..... Now I know what it's all about !

- it was heralding the Post Office flotation !
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on September 12, 2013, 05:27:51 pm
Apparently not a real post box, which is a pity (I quite like the idea of a post box for boaters and barge dwellers).

And I think that Uri Geller is in a permanent state of puzzlement... he clearly has no grasp on the real world.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on September 12, 2013, 05:37:03 pm
Apparently not a real post box, which is a pity (I quite like the idea of a post box for boaters and barge dwellers).

And I think that Uri Geller is in a permanent state of puzzlement... he clearly has no grasp on the real world.

I've heard he has an over-enthusiastic grasp of cutlery.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 12, 2013, 06:48:40 pm
Not doing Wiltshire's image as the Lousiana of England much good.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-24066227
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on September 12, 2013, 06:58:14 pm
Life hasn't been good since the end of the Mary Whitehouse Experience.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 12, 2013, 07:02:28 pm
Lawnmower runs over some bits of paper.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10669194.Outcry_over_council__littering_/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on September 12, 2013, 08:11:21 pm
Life hasn't been good since the end of the Mary Whitehouse Experience.

Oh no!  What a personal disaster!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 13, 2013, 02:34:18 pm
Swindon comes top again...for football match pie prices in whichever minor league they currently reside.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10673788.Town___s_pies_the_most_expensive_in_league/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on September 15, 2013, 12:59:41 pm
http://www.northampton-news-hp.co.uk/News/Northampton-News/Spooky-clown-mystery-grips-Northampton-14092013.htm
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on September 15, 2013, 04:08:15 pm
Damn, I was just about to post that!

That's a great story actually, you can't beat a scary clown.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on September 15, 2013, 04:39:40 pm
Man bites cock. (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/east_kent_mercury/news/man-bites-into-neighbours-penis-5997/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on September 15, 2013, 11:53:02 pm
Man bites cock. (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/east_kent_mercury/news/man-bites-into-neighbours-penis-5997/)

That's gnawful.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Morrisette on September 18, 2013, 09:39:58 am
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on September 18, 2013, 11:34:50 am
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

So that's what Wobbly John has been up to this week :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 21, 2013, 03:09:09 pm
Doorbell broken in Swindon.  Think of the children pensioners.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10688077.Broken_doorbell_puts_us_at_risk__says_OAP/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on September 22, 2013, 09:12:28 pm
http://www.edinburghnews.scotsman.com/news/edinburgh-sauna-owners-name-and-shame-threat-1-3105302
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on September 23, 2013, 10:43:47 am
Alien life discovered just outside Chester

http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/news/chester-cheshire-news/alien-life-discovered-just-outside-6066606 (http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/news/chester-cheshire-news/alien-life-discovered-just-outside-6066606)

Actually 27 km into space so 'just outside' everywhere really
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on September 25, 2013, 02:04:40 pm
Woman falls over (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/emergency_crews_scrambled_as_oap_hurt_at_bus_station_1_2808362), delays traffic.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on September 25, 2013, 05:01:09 pm
Police look for driver after massacre of ducks (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10692993.Police_hunt_duck_killer_driver/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on September 25, 2013, 06:19:14 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

It's all happening down in Cambridgeshire....

Bondage fear at Trumpington Village Hall sparks event cancellation (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-24240287)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on September 26, 2013, 07:46:50 am
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you:

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/News/Shock-as-man-streaks-in-Ely-20130917143858.htm

It's all happening down in Cambridgeshire....

Bondage fear at Trumpington Village Hall sparks event cancellation (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-24240287)

Damn!  That's my plans for the 12 October borked then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 01, 2013, 01:25:14 pm
http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_express/news/wallaby-stops-traffic-in-pluckley-6744/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 01, 2013, 11:34:00 pm
He knew his onions (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/former-international-hockey-player-stole-450-of-groceries-from-sainsburys-by-selfscanning-everything-as-loose-onions-8850717.html)
Ok, maybe not so provincial, but the essential information is missing - did he swipe his Nectar card?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on October 01, 2013, 11:52:17 pm
Quote
Mr Long’s solicitor Angus Mathieson told the Old Bailey: “It was a stupid thing he has done. He was not getting a stupid amount, not substituting champagne or anything like that, but just getting an avocado and claiming it was an onion.”

To hell with cake - let then eat avocados!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 02, 2013, 02:24:33 pm
Avocados are essential. (http://www.waitrose.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductView-10317-10001-50327-essential+Waitrose+baby+avocado+(4s).html?storeId=10317)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on October 04, 2013, 07:08:57 am
Not a lot of detail here (http://www.wiltsglosstandard.co.uk/news/10703564.Crash_on_A419_road_near_Cirencester/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tubbycyclist on October 04, 2013, 10:28:19 am
Puntastic


http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Branston-pickle-lorry-crashes-near-Cheddar/story-19882485-detail/story.html (http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Branston-pickle-lorry-crashes-near-Cheddar/story-19882485-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 04, 2013, 01:42:04 pm
ITV couldn't even be bothered to get a photograph:

http://www.itv.com/news/update/2013-10-03/branston-pickle-disaster-hits-cheddar/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on October 05, 2013, 07:32:24 pm
Highland man wins porridge competition:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-24414935
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on October 06, 2013, 08:29:32 am
Quote
Mr Boa, who formerly lived in Edinburgh but now lives on Skye, said the trick to producing a world-class porridge was to "keep stirring", using a spurtle - a rod-shaped tool, traditionally used to stir porridge.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on October 06, 2013, 09:33:03 pm
Oh no.  How will I know what I'm stuffing into my face?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24401249

Quote
Nestle has won a court battle with confectionery rival Cadbury, over Cadbury's attempt to trademark the purple colour of its Dairy Milk bars.

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on October 06, 2013, 09:42:16 pm

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?

Don't bother.  I've already been corrected by Mrs. B.
To tell the truth, it's quite a shock.  They've been blue all my life.
What the hell is the name of the colour that I call purple, then?  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 06, 2013, 09:52:30 pm
Oh no.  How will I know what I'm stuffing into my face?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24401249

Quote
Nestle has won a court battle with confectionery rival Cadbury, over Cadbury's attempt to trademark the purple colour of its Dairy Milk bars.

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?

Yeah, it's one of the blues that's actually purple.  I have the same problem.

Thing about having dodgy colour perception, when an object's colour is completely arbitrary[1] you won't think to question what you're seeing unless it comes up in conversation.


(The pedant in me wants to point out that Dairy Milk bars are in fact brown.)


[1] The corollary to that is where things have well-known colours which you'll override your common sense for, such as banananas[2] (which I recently discovered are green[3] when unripe).
[2] AIUI, the proper colour change of a ripe banana takes place in the UV spectrum, and us humans are just winging it.
[3] Actual green, not the green that I see yellow bananas as and generally call 'yellow'.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 06, 2013, 09:55:32 pm
What the hell is the name of the colour that I call purple, then?  ???

Can't speak for your colour vision, but the colours that I identify as purple are a subset of purples at the redder end of the spectrum - those at the bluer end just get lumped in with the blues.  That's usually how these things work.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on October 06, 2013, 10:03:21 pm
Thing about having dodgy colour perception, when an object's colour is completely arbitrary you won't think to question what you're seeing unless it comes up in conversation.

Well isn't that the truth?  We've been married for 30 years, both of us were surprised.  Good to know that in all that time we've never struggled so much for a topic of conversation as to descend to a discussion on the colour of chocolate wrappers.  :smug:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on October 06, 2013, 10:17:17 pm
Welcome to my world.

Everything I have always considered to be black is now an obscure shade of blue. Fluorescent cycling jackets which have always been green are now, apparently, yellow (and that isn't the orange ones). Purples, mauves and puces could be any bloody thing. Domestic harmony is now disturbed by any colour that the others deem is anything other than it appears to be.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 06, 2013, 10:24:01 pm
I maintain that puce isn't a real colour.  Mauve is on shaky ground.  And I don't really believe in cyan, though I can prove it exists mathematically.

Black vs dark blue is my specialist subject though.  All about the contrast, innit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 06, 2013, 10:28:10 pm
Thing about having dodgy colour perception, when an object's colour is completely arbitrary you won't think to question what you're seeing unless it comes up in conversation.

Well isn't that the truth?  We've been married for 30 years, both of us were surprised.  Good to know that in all that time we've never struggled so much for a topic of conversation as to descend to a discussion on the colour of chocolate wrappers.  :smug:

Quite.

If you were identifying a bucket, chopping board or screwdriver handle, you'd probably have had the conversation[1] decades ago.  Indeed, if Cadbury used blue and purple wrappers to signify the presence of fruity nutty evil lurking within the perfectly good chocolate you might be in with a chance.  But Dairy Milk wrappers are just "Dairy Milk wrappers".  Not "the purple ones".


[1] "Have you seen the blue screwdriver?" "What blue screwdriver?" "The one that lives in the kitchen drawer!" "We don't *have* a blue screwdriver???" "Yes we do, I was using it the other day to fettle my widgets(!)" [...] "Found it!" "Found what?" "The blue screwdriver" *waves triumphantly* "That's purple!" "Bloody isn't!" etc.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 06, 2013, 10:30:45 pm
But what about The Purple Ones in a boks of Kwolitea Streight?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 06, 2013, 10:33:38 pm
But what about The Purple Ones in a boks of Kwolitea Streight?

Both shades of blue are evil nut-based things and to be avoided.  Simples.

Actually, my approach to boxes of chocolate is to check the key for the minority that I'm likely to actually like, and go looking specifically for those, so it probably never came up.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on October 06, 2013, 10:52:21 pm
...We've been married for 30 years, both of us were surprised...

Surely there must have been some clues in that time?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on October 06, 2013, 10:52:57 pm
But what about The Purple Ones in a boks of Kwolitea Streight?

Now that is purple. (to me)

Good, I was worried that that colour was going to turn out to be, erm, tope?
(Please don't try to explain tope to me.  People have tried.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on October 06, 2013, 10:57:56 pm
...We've been married for 30 years, both of us were surprised...

Surely there must have been some clues in that time?
;D

She thought I was the gardener.

I thought she was my rather over zealous probation officer.

 ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on October 06, 2013, 11:04:50 pm
Cadbury's are definitely purple - apparently Pantone 2685c*. They've even gone to court over it:-
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24401249

*Just to be more confusing the BBC article refers incorrectly to 2865c, which doesn't exist in the pantone range, but 286 and 287 which it would fall between are both blues.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 06, 2013, 11:34:15 pm
So there are blue ones in Quality St as well? I'd forgotten. I'm going to have to buy a box to find out, aren't I? Or maybe wait till Christmas, someone's bound to have a box then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on October 07, 2013, 07:57:33 am
But what about The Purple Ones in a boks of Kwolitea Streight?

Now that is purple. (to me)

Good, I was worried that that colour was going to turn out to be, erm, tope?
(Please don't try to explain tope to me.  People have tried.)
It's taupe, and it's what wankers call pale beige.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: red marley on October 07, 2013, 08:03:38 am
One of the effects of "red-green colour blindness" (deuteranomaly - reduced function in detection of green wavelengths) is the mixing up of blues and purples.  This affects about 6% of white men, so you are not alone.

I did not read this in the Trowbridge Gazette.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on October 07, 2013, 11:30:40 am
Time for an xkcd....

http://blog.xkcd.com/2010/05/03/color-survey-results/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 07, 2013, 02:30:02 pm
One of the effects of "red-green colour blindness" (deuteranomaly - reduced function in detection of green wavelengths) is the mixing up of blues and purples.  This affects about 6% of white men, so you are not alone.

I did not read this in the Trowbridge Gazette.

Surely it's protanomaly (the other, less common, "red-green colour blindness") that leads to blue-purple confusion?  You don't need a green receptor to discriminate colours made up of blue and red.


(I'm one of the 0.01% of protanomalous females)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: red marley on October 07, 2013, 04:48:04 pm
I think it applies to both, but may be wrong about this.

http://www.colourblindawareness.org/colour-blindness/types-of-colour-blindness/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 07, 2013, 06:56:56 pm
Oh no.  How will I know what I'm stuffing into my face?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-24401249

Quote
Nestle has won a court battle with confectionery rival Cadbury, over Cadbury's attempt to trademark the purple colour of its Dairy Milk bars.

Anyway - Purple?  I know I'm colour blind, but surely the Dairy Milk bars are blue?
They're purple.  Milka bars are lilac.

The acid test of colour perception is Jaguar's Black Amethyst Metallic, which looks black...but then you look again and there is a definite tinge to it.  Weird colour.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 07, 2013, 07:04:54 pm
The acid test of colour perception is Jaguar's Black Amethyst Metallic, which looks black...but then you look again and there is a definite tinge to it.  Weird colour.

Assuming 'amethyst' means something bluey-green, I'd probably be really good at that[1].  On the other hand, red wine all looks black to me (deutaneropes don't get this effect).


[1] In daylight, up close and personal.  Like most people with colour perception issues, I'm rubbish at identifying colours of anything small.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on October 08, 2013, 02:15:55 am
Mucky goings on in Aberdeen (http://i.imgur.com/caEpBHW.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 08, 2013, 06:30:41 am
Mucky goings on in Aberdeen (http://i.imgur.com/caEpBHW.jpg)
That's not real, Shirley?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on October 08, 2013, 09:42:40 am
Mucky goings on in Aberdeen (http://i.imgur.com/caEpBHW.jpg)
That's not real, Shirley?

Well it's in the Sunday Sport, so it must be true ...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on October 08, 2013, 09:43:40 am
The acid test of colour perception is Jaguar's Black Amethyst Metallic, which looks black...but then you look again and there is a definite tinge to it.  Weird colour.

Assuming 'amethyst' means something bluey-green, I'd probably be really good at that[1]

amethysts are purple
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on October 08, 2013, 09:57:24 am
Mucky goings on in Aberdeen (http://i.imgur.com/caEpBHW.jpg)
That's not real, Shirley?

You mean I've been hoodwinked  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on October 08, 2013, 10:14:33 pm
The acid test of colour perception is Jaguar's Black Amethyst Metallic, which looks black...but then you look again and there is a definite tinge to it.  Weird colour.

Assuming 'amethyst' means something bluey-green, I'd probably be really good at that[1]

amethysts are purple
Usually.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on October 09, 2013, 08:17:23 am
The acid test of colour perception is Jaguar's Black Amethyst Metallic, which looks black...but then you look again and there is a definite tinge to it.  Weird colour.

Assuming 'amethyst' means something bluey-green, I'd probably be really good at that[1]

amethysts are purple
Usually.

Indeed.  They can range from pink to dark  blue.

My father was a qualified gemmologist (albeit it gemmology was his hobby) and I have a collection of rings he made me with unusual stones - including a blue amethyst and a green tiger's eye.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 09, 2013, 10:03:30 pm
I think there's difference between colour names you'd use and those you'd understand. Well, for me anyway. I don't think I'd describe something as lilac, violet, fuchsia or even fucksie, it'd all be shades of purple, but the names mean something to me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 11, 2013, 09:27:36 pm
Swindon is world class (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10731967.Magic_Roundabout_gets_global_rating/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 11, 2013, 10:08:30 pm
How can you be president of the Roundabout Appreciation Society without changing your name to Zebedee or Ermintrude?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on October 11, 2013, 11:51:21 pm
When I click on a link to the Swindon Advertiser it offers me the option of signing up for news updates by email... I wouldn't be able to stand the excitement.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on October 12, 2013, 11:12:18 am
How can you be president of the Roundabout Appreciation Society without changing your name to Zebedee or Ermintrude?

He's a Kevin, I expected a Brian.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 17, 2013, 08:19:04 pm
Funniest.  Mugging. Ever. (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10740015.Would_be_muggers_chose_cage_fighter_as_victim/?ref=ar)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 17, 2013, 08:29:25 pm
Funniest.  Mugging. Ever. (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10740015.Would_be_muggers_chose_cage_fighter_as_victim/?ref=ar)

Needs more crossdressing welsh people.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rower40 on October 18, 2013, 06:53:12 am
Sorry for the late response to all the discussions of colour, but this seems relevant:


This appears to be a real news story (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Llwchwr-Town-Council-considers-colour-photocopier/story-19896596-detail/story.html#axzz2i391lGV1)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on October 18, 2013, 08:50:00 am
Keep us posted on any developments
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on October 18, 2013, 03:41:50 pm
Runner Rich Vanson to take part in Yorkshire Marathon on the same day his pregnant wife Emma is due to be induced
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10744915.Runner_to_take_part_in_Yorkshire_Marathon_on_the_same_day_his_pregnant_wife_is_due_to_be_induced/?ref=mr (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10744915.Runner_to_take_part_in_Yorkshire_Marathon_on_the_same_day_his_pregnant_wife_is_due_to_be_induced/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 18, 2013, 05:16:29 pm
That's a Real Man for you.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MattH on October 18, 2013, 06:02:07 pm
Sorry for the late response to all the discussions of colour, but this seems relevant:


This appears to be a real news story (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Llwchwr-Town-Council-considers-colour-photocopier/story-19896596-detail/story.html#axzz2i391lGV1)

Llwchwr is clearly an exciting place to live (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Tables-stacked-differently-Llwchwr-council/story-18365075-detail/story.html#axzz2i5sQeTYG)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on October 18, 2013, 06:20:46 pm
Sorry for the late response to all the discussions of colour, but this seems relevant:


This appears to be a real news story (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Llwchwr-Town-Council-considers-colour-photocopier/story-19896596-detail/story.html#axzz2i391lGV1)

Llwchwr is clearly an exciting place to live (http://www.thisissouthwales.co.uk/Tables-stacked-differently-Llwchwr-council/story-18365075-detail/story.html#axzz2i5sQeTYG)

Bzzt! Repetition!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on October 19, 2013, 06:07:10 am
One story is about a copier...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on October 20, 2013, 12:24:27 pm
This may be a repeat

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/ziggycat/null_zpse184519e.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on October 22, 2013, 06:28:38 pm
Story useless without pics video. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-24623976)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 22, 2013, 06:59:52 pm
Story useless without pics video. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-24623976)
The ones at Oxford are glass, which would appeal to the hardened doggers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 22, 2013, 08:42:35 pm
Story useless without pics video. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-shropshire-24623976)
The ones at Oxford are glass, which would appeal to the hardened doggers.

Whereas the ones at Ashford take ages to come...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on October 22, 2013, 11:29:34 pm
We all have our ups and downs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 23, 2013, 04:48:31 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-24637628

Quote
"Police are appealing for information, especially about anyone trying to sell large quantities of Heinz baked beans in suspicious circumstances," a force spokesman said.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 23, 2013, 05:18:35 pm
They'll soon sniff him out.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on October 25, 2013, 06:44:46 pm
"Several police at scene of kebab van incident"

[nr sleepy Burford,Oxon.]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 25, 2013, 08:07:42 pm
"Several police at scene of kebab van incident"

[nr sleepy Burford,Oxon.]
Presumably very drunk policemen, who can only blurt out the words "kebab" and "everyfink" when being served.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on October 28, 2013, 10:38:58 pm
I think Ayrshire (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-24714608) deserves an hon. mention today.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on October 31, 2013, 06:46:02 pm
This had us giggling at work:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10768369.Yellow_brick_road_leaves_York_pedestrians_baffled/

I especially like the quote from the elderly lady who said she hadn't noticed until someone pointed it out. Classic hot news!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on October 31, 2013, 10:37:13 pm
Blimey, get me back to Birmingham.  It's too bloody dangerous down here. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-24763013)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on October 31, 2013, 10:41:29 pm
From the links at the bottom of Arch's story
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10770050.Woman_taken_to_hospital_as_pet_snakes_die_in_house_blaze/?ref=ar
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on October 31, 2013, 10:44:53 pm
Whereas here we are now frightened of doormats
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/health-and-safety-risk-of-doormats-1.1095147
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on November 01, 2013, 10:52:56 am
Wild parties, eh?

Or is that the wrong sort of stag?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on November 01, 2013, 03:20:29 pm
The dove from above (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-24759652)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on November 02, 2013, 12:01:12 pm
They're here! (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/quick_flitting_critter_snapped_by_kwik_fit_fitter_false_widow_spider_spied_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_2948787) (Kudos for the headline)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on November 02, 2013, 04:23:36 pm
http://www.thecourier.co.uk/news/local/angus-the-mearns/man-fined-after-penis-flash-dance-buffoonery-outside-pie-bob-s-1.147146
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on November 05, 2013, 10:34:41 pm
Blimey, get me back to Birmingham.  It's too bloody dangerous down here. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-24763013)

Blimey, he's died. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-24824121)

Actually, it turns out that this was a sheep farmer who had decided to diversify into venison.

So not a wild random attack as suggested by previous reports.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on November 05, 2013, 10:54:32 pm
Slow news - and traffic - day in York (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10786562.Traffic_alert__A64_blocked_due_to_mattress_on_the_road/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on November 08, 2013, 03:34:00 pm
The police discover they shouldn't sext school kids.

http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/10797126.Police_discuss_perils_of_sexting_with_schoolchildren_in_Stroud/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 09, 2013, 01:42:58 am
A group of people dressed as Batman, Robin, David Hasselhoff and a Smurf helped police officers catch a criminal in an East Lothian supermarket.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-24854508
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 09, 2013, 10:41:11 am
These superheroes, leaving their scuffle marks in the toilet roll!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 12, 2013, 09:08:12 pm
Swindon's big Xmas lights switch-on features local boy Jahmene Douglas (X Factor runner up)...same as last year.

But...on the big screen there will be a special video appearance by...





KEITH CHEGWIN

I can hardly contain my excitement.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on November 13, 2013, 10:26:46 am
Will he have his clothes on?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: urban_biker on November 13, 2013, 10:31:28 am
LEE, Chillmoister, Keeks and I met Keith Chegwin in the Jack Russell in Faccombe, at the end of the Faccombe Haul a few years back.

I can confirm he was wearing clothes at that time. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on November 13, 2013, 03:25:08 pm
Tea towel fire (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/inbrief/10804952.Tea_towel_catches_fire/?ref=la). No one hurt.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on November 13, 2013, 03:31:45 pm
That is terrifying.  If the owner hadn't put it out before the two fire crews arrived, who know how big a conflagration might have ensued?  Even the oven gloves* might have been singed.




* possibly Joy Division - we can't say at this point in time
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on November 13, 2013, 09:00:23 pm
I really, really want to know more about this:

http://metro.co.uk/2013/11/12/premier-inn-guest-hurled-racist-abuse-with-fire-extinguisher-hose-up-his-bottom-4184507/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 13, 2013, 09:13:11 pm
Borat?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on November 13, 2013, 10:51:20 pm
Tea towel fire (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/inbrief/10804952.Tea_towel_catches_fire/?ref=la). No one hurt.

So good a story they have covered it up.  >:(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on November 13, 2013, 10:52:11 pm
LEE, Chillmoister, Keeks and I met Keith Chegwin in the Jack Russell in Faccombe, at the end of the Faccombe Haul a few years back.

I can confirm he was wearing clothes at that time.

I hope he was wearing his wicket keeping gloves at the time.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 14, 2013, 07:02:54 pm
Keith Chegwin naked; the perfect antidote to that Robin Thicke video.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on November 17, 2013, 09:14:29 pm
Lets not overlook the colonial provinces:

http://tinyurl.com/qfvqjey

Is it just me or does anyone else think that to be a 'bicyclist' you should, as a gentleman, be wearing a top hat, and as a lady, billowing skirts and a bonnet?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on November 18, 2013, 01:10:33 pm
Oh no. Definitely a boater.
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/36/Cyclists_In_Thames_New_Zealand_Ca_1895.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on November 19, 2013, 08:28:19 am
Sidcup mum gets hump after mistakenly buying Camel Balls for her kids (http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/10810488.Sidcup_mum_gets_hump_after_mistakenly_buying_Camel_Balls_for_her_kids/?ref=ar)

"I was shocked when I discovered it said Camel Balls – I thought it said Caramel Balls, she said. "They are children, why do they need to look at a camel with a big pair of balls? "

"I just can’t understand how they got to where they are. Don’t they have to be vetted?"

(HTFB's answer: yes, if you want to keep them docile.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on November 19, 2013, 12:29:04 pm
Possibly NSFW -

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/07/newcastle-university-applies-trademark-rude-word_n_4057198.html?utm_hp_ref=tw (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/07/newcastle-university-applies-trademark-rude-word_n_4057198.html?utm_hp_ref=tw)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Illegal Combat Ant on November 25, 2013, 01:33:17 pm
Dog Godwins teh interwebz (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10831689.York_dog_looks_just_like_Hitler/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 25, 2013, 06:02:45 pm
Heathrow hires high-wire team to change tens of thousands of 'out of reach' light bulbs (http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/heathrow-hires-highwire-team-to-change-tens-of-thousands-of-out-of-reach-light-bulbs-8961562.html?origin=internalSearch)

Okay, I accept that Heathrow doesn't really count as "The Provinces", and note that this story is actually about a cockup by the companies that installed the system that was supposed the provide access to the fittings, rather than the usual architect with no sense of practicality you might assume (no hand-painted pink self-tapping screws here).

But I'm really posting it for the comments...

Quote
They must be made to wear Hi-Viz vests and have number plates fitted. I'm sick to death of the damage done to my car by these louts.

I'm reasonably sure that lamps don't pay road tax, either.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on November 25, 2013, 06:13:48 pm
... the usual architect with no sense of practicality you might assume ....
Like the one who designed buildings for a housing co-op in Reading with stairwells lit by windows that didn't open, which could only be accessed from the outside by putting up complicated & expensive scaffolding to get over roofs, & were shielded from rain so didn't even get a good rinse every now & then?

Amazing how quickly they went black.

He also specified cheap-looking but remarkably expensive plastic door handles which broke very easily indeed. I was told it was all to do with the aesthetics of functionality . . . .  Apparently it doesn't matter if it works, as long as it looks vaguely industrial. :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 29, 2013, 12:50:35 pm
Monster terrorising children in Swindon.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10843084.This_scary_monster_is_really_a_big_softie/?ref=mmsp
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 09, 2013, 11:35:01 pm
Blouse stolen (http://www.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/blouse-stolen-from-oxfam-in-stamford-1-5722707#comments-area)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on December 10, 2013, 12:02:57 am
http://www.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/bin-collection-dates-change-over-christmas-1-5732897 (http://www.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/bin-collection-dates-change-over-christmas-1-5732897)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on December 10, 2013, 12:03:50 am
Blouse stolen (http://ww.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/blouse-stolen-from-oxfam-in-stamford-1-5722707)
Webpage stolen :P
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 10, 2013, 12:11:44 am
Blouse stolen (http://ww.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/blouse-stolen-from-oxfam-in-stamford-1-5722707)
Webpage stolen :P
Webpage returned now!!  :P
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Flying Duck on December 10, 2013, 12:13:12 am
http://www.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/blouse-stolen-from-oxfam-in-stamford-1-5722707#comments-area (http://www.stamfordmercury.co.uk/news/local/blouse-stolen-from-oxfam-in-stamford-1-5722707#comments-area)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: fboab on December 11, 2013, 02:41:08 pm
Escape Rabbits (http://www.buryfreepress.co.uk/news/local/latest-news/video-magical-rabbit-has-a-talent-for-miracle-escapes-1-5728060)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on December 12, 2013, 09:45:24 am

Burglary suspect gets into unmarked police car insted of taxi
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10869453.Burglary_suspect_gets_into_unmarked_police_car_insted_of_taxi/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10869453.Burglary_suspect_gets_into_unmarked_police_car_insted_of_taxi/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on December 14, 2013, 11:18:52 am
It's all kicking off in Exeter: https://twitter.com/TheMediaTweets/status/411626454820978689/photo/1
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on December 16, 2013, 01:36:27 pm
I'm beginning to warm to the spirit of Xmas. God Bless MK.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2013/dec/15/milton-keynes-winter-wonderland-complaints
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 17, 2013, 03:08:05 pm
http://metro.co.uk/2013/12/14/artificial-leg-prompts-paedophile-panic-at-swimming-pool-and-evacuation-of-children-4230694/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on December 17, 2013, 06:43:44 pm
http://metro.co.uk/2013/12/14/artificial-leg-prompts-paedophile-panic-at-swimming-pool-and-evacuation-of-children-4230694/

Oh FFS!  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 17, 2013, 06:50:31 pm
http://metro.co.uk/2013/12/14/artificial-leg-prompts-paedophile-panic-at-swimming-pool-and-evacuation-of-children-4230694/

Oh FFS!  :facepalm:

I was trying to imagine a situation where your first instinct is to evacuate the kids in case of paedogeddon, rather than - for example - check there isn't someone passed out in the cubicle.

But someone mentioned there had been previous peeping tom incidents at that pool...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: fboab on December 18, 2013, 02:52:10 pm
http://www.eadt.co.uk/news/helmingham_village_post_box_stolen_a_week_before_christmas_1_3124108
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: red marley on December 18, 2013, 06:36:07 pm
Surely that officer who is doing a grand job fighting crime throughout East Anglia (http://www.google.co.uk/search?tbs=sbi:AMhZZivXm98XlTauFBu0C2Kr9sojHwKYREEj-z0lE_1MaMhQMr93xmeXWCXLAR0EuSsSgH5vRxepVOOcLaH8cTkONV-EOsizrrDxIy8XTVEOt4t5htvhJ_1m_15z5hp31StZSu95I5yxvzaEKSABV2bPJlcm5xqlaUIimZIYFWnzDn8iKXAspYmdFPY0GyureTCooFjDgTojQy1BRuvQbPHYKui6qPUEYLweYHlV4UbO2_1g3H3cXQ47lbHFQBm-rH6HrSVYHHKWVlwbkz0Z22ynuQP3RrAtJ0MTNWlvbTDn-F0ZICyvfNEP27olroay4zC8XZkvziJK2xmu4AWxgGoFpN1YfCvXKJyVbptk5uqAfyKKaGA-e_1lUYW25XbjaJKOhCwHSpmeBmzPt1_1GbEiGM5O7JfEId6nk0TGt0a0d_1IP7EA5X1RQ2Gq5kDRNh7r3XOdji2Fv7gLdH01Qe29QkwNMplMRTSz8GhVMEDNhdZFUnwZLEyJEGOhH5tLwxAafK6Dfwro_1qRd6K00Gh-TrySi134WFtH0wxvB1jG6JpNlDCF9oQIH7W5fO4tAe-pfkIpHt_1p_17pDJUFPtcpzjeYgaCC_16_1A2ySIE9Y64lQp7MUnyjM2jUM_1JJ9DiBJuv4dmpJGK-uM30KAVn7IMs_1V9z7qrLR4ObSe76s7TJ0BFQjo25YoQf8kg8X-sQyOl3CIBjM13PFQvhR1ikw-cDpK_1sZN5jU9sse3GxrK4xFE87IgHFt3y9NebaygEbksgsrFncGCkYGkDalIQGy7r-KbdoWYzdC78WeFktgrKmFQXkO9zl9AzezDrsb_1wCmdTA9T4bqxYOjupxQiZyAx7Xn7GM12gUwDL7zxAIJlsM6cxRdjQ1VvUTODe-jtXsb-z6adsZIOhcNiTUj5mUbc_1RIXfvTJVUYD17bk4wgTj1XKxZz7VrG87SiDB-q4Y3OZlrFDRwrpAUNUQFMEAzPq4DMmM4vWGRXj8oUAAnXcZihlfDvWQxDCmoBhf0Y3cWkSr5SEF-ZtpkacvxZ9vJMWcyS-BdF5lwTUkhjQNQwGPstqptetv1tdN1slVntE3ydn8fu_1hTLJT_1QXtMhuoCxoA9kT0qKBtOq5o496Gc65kSn6h3gorecNr77mNXW_1oxkDVaj_1S7L0H4WqAtzpITm5WDwF_1Hilydurg6USsC_13ubpc0c4jqbvmP9LpgizfqxIFeaWezQ3VJyFR7LfO7jTlM5SQJI-nXfKUlQ1r30xwrX9RclC8hbAcOLr9-FHBTwsuIVyGRL8a8AmwkdHVbO9qnOOiEMWVhPvIL8dHayAQ&ei=3qiyUruoIbOM7AaJioHABw&start=10&sa=N&filter=0&biw=1438&bih=883) deserves some kind of medal.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 19, 2013, 06:33:48 am
Swindon has a new car park, with slightly wider spaces than all the others.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10886361.Wide_bay_car_park_seen_as_fresh_start_for_town/

Seriously, since every successive generation of a car seems to be 2" wider than the last one, this is probably necessary.  It's quite hard to walk between cars in most car parks now.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on December 19, 2013, 07:05:01 am
Swindon has a new car park, with slightly wider spaces than all the others.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10886361.Wide_bay_car_park_seen_as_fresh_start_for_town/

Seriously, since every successive generation of a car seems to be 2" wider than the last one, this is probably necessary. It's quite hard to walk between cars in most car parks now.

It's not the cars that are 2" wider, Roger....   ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on December 19, 2013, 08:36:20 am
Swindon has a new car park, with slightly wider spaces than all the others.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10886361.Wide_bay_car_park_seen_as_fresh_start_for_town/

Seriously, since every successive generation of a car seems to be 2" wider than the last one, this is probably necessary.  It's quite hard to walk between cars in most car parks now.

Going slightly OT for a second, this is why I like going to Costco (apart from the cheap prices, good food etc) as the car parking spaces are made to US standards, thus REALLY wide.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on December 19, 2013, 09:32:55 am
I see that Buzzfeed offers a helpful 2013 local news roundup (http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/the-best-local-newspaper-stories-of-2013).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on December 20, 2013, 01:06:39 pm
Very minor earth tremour affects no one and causes no damage. (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/earthquake-hits-home-world-bog-6431723)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: graculus on December 20, 2013, 03:01:56 pm
"The earthquake was around half the strength of another tremor to hit Wales earlier this year.
In May, an earthquake measuring a magnitude of 3.8 on the Richter scale struck off the Welsh coast."

Someone not quite got the hang of the Richter scale there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 23, 2013, 04:03:01 pm
Okay, there's a storm on the way.  So let's have the photos of broken umbrellas from all your local news sources...

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BcLk05yCQAEP2dy.png) (https://twitter.com/BhamUpdates/status/415145713182326784)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on December 23, 2013, 04:14:47 pm
Mrs B & I passed a few while walking home from the shops before lunch, having gone out before it all got too bad, nicely wrapped in waterproofs.  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 23, 2013, 04:45:13 pm
I've never been to Giles Latcham  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on December 23, 2013, 04:54:34 pm
I've never been to Giles Latcham  ;D

You'll find it looks very similar to Birmingham.   :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on December 23, 2013, 05:57:30 pm
Okay, there's a storm on the way.  So let's have the photos of broken umbrellas from all your local news sources...

If it floods we may get the ob. plucky cyclist pics.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 23, 2013, 08:19:45 pm
It fell off the back of a lorry. Honest Guv.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-25495416

Dodgy characters, from the description.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on December 26, 2013, 07:35:17 pm
Okay, there's a storm on the way.  So let's have the photos of broken umbrellas from all your local news sources...

If it floods we may get the ob. plucky cyclist pics.

Image 6: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25516197
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on December 28, 2013, 09:53:46 pm
https://twitter.com/brookejarvis/status/416992861293252608/photo/1
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on December 29, 2013, 03:26:37 pm
https://twitter.com/brookejarvis/status/416992861293252608/photo/1
*bzzzt*

That's a proper story!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on December 29, 2013, 04:01:07 pm
I suppose it does have beer & squirrels.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 30, 2013, 10:57:56 am
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10903747.Steak_and_kidney_pie__destroyed__in_cooking_fire/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on December 30, 2013, 11:03:02 am
Reminder to self:
Must renew Pie Insurance.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on December 30, 2013, 11:22:17 am
From the same source: Tea towel left on hob catches fire (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10903738.Tea_towel_left_on_hob_catches_fire/?ref=mr).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on December 31, 2013, 12:14:44 am
and also from that source, in non-fire related news: Man told to paint stripy beach hut more 'uniformly' (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10902366.Ex_soldier_hits_out_at_council_staff_calling_for_him_to_repaint_beach_hut_in_more____uniform____colours/?ref=mr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on December 31, 2013, 12:16:31 am
Don't get 'caught short' in Whitehaven -
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/council-plans-to-demolish-toilet-block-1.1106449
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on December 31, 2013, 01:36:22 am
and also from that source, in non-fire related news: Man told to paint stripy beach hut more 'uniformly' (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/10902366.Ex_soldier_hits_out_at_council_staff_calling_for_him_to_repaint_beach_hut_in_more____uniform____colours/?ref=mr)

He could paint it like DPM...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on December 31, 2013, 09:34:09 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-25561410
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Euan Uzami on January 02, 2014, 10:48:21 pm
http://thelincolnite.co.uk/2013/12/man-arrested-lawn-mower-theft-lincoln/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tewdric on January 03, 2014, 07:19:03 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-25561410

Probably following a tip off from a grass..
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on January 03, 2014, 07:25:20 am
Probably following a tip off from a grass..
VG.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on January 03, 2014, 01:14:35 pm
Man makes unkind remarks about town (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/pointless_criticism_of_welwyn_garden_city_by_quiz_fan_1_3174264)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on January 04, 2014, 07:22:45 pm
I don't think we've had these before. All from the Brighton Argus
http://www.buzzfeed.com/copyranter/the-30-best-headlines-of-the-argus
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on January 05, 2014, 08:53:59 am
Fantastic.  Especially the tragic story of the moth.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 05, 2014, 07:33:36 pm
http://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/10913345.Tractor_collides_with_a_lamppost_at_A361_Seend_Fork/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 06, 2014, 05:53:41 pm
Do the colonies count?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-25618683
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 07, 2014, 12:02:40 pm
Something didn't catch fire.
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Traffic-chaos-morning-false-alarm-Cheltenham-Road/story-20409109-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on January 08, 2014, 06:39:14 am
Some travel news from this morning.

Quote
Dry Lane Crawley

road Live travel

Dry Lane both ways closed due to flooding near Leafield Road / Farm Lane / Witney Hill / Foxburrow Lane.

Last updated 9 hours ago
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on January 09, 2014, 01:08:43 pm
Woman Bites Car (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/woman-bit-through-car-roof-6484156l)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on January 13, 2014, 09:14:03 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10933499.Witness_appeal_after_two_year_old_is_struck_in_face_with_a_potato/?ref=la
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tewdric on January 13, 2014, 09:21:41 pm
Not sure if this is the place, but this is a wonderful piss-take...

http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/twin-rich-poor-parts-city/story-20434312-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on January 15, 2014, 07:59:29 pm
(https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/57044735/IMG_1762.JPG)

I, for one, welcome our new amphibian overlord.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 16, 2014, 07:15:54 pm
Oiks knock over bins in York:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-25766781

(Meanwhile, in Leftpondia:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-23585031)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on January 16, 2014, 11:51:33 pm
There are eleven black and white televisions in Caernarfon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 21, 2014, 01:26:41 am
Painkillers?  McDonald's?  Drooling?  1000 yard stare?  I think we all know what was going on here...

http://www.wane.com/news/crime/man-arrested-after-passing-out-on-mcdonalds-table
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 21, 2014, 09:30:56 am
Painkillers?  McDonald's?  Drooling?  1000 yard stare?  I think we all know what was going on here...

http://www.wane.com/news/crime/man-arrested-after-passing-out-on-mcdonalds-table
A 600km audax?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 21, 2014, 11:59:37 am
Frikkin lasers (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Man-charged-using-laser-dazzle-police-helicopter/story-20471913-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on January 21, 2014, 01:30:36 pm
Fridge sends spam

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25780908 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25780908)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 21, 2014, 02:14:16 pm
Fridge sends spam

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25780908 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-25780908)
"I am empty, buy more spam."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on January 21, 2014, 04:55:02 pm
Rubbish Stripper attacks audience (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/court-told-how-novice-stripper-6534180)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Zipperhead on January 22, 2014, 03:56:21 pm


Man Subjected To Multiple Rectal Searches And Enemas By Police Officers Receives $1.6 Million Settlement (http://www.freshnews.org/feeds/techdirt/posts/man-subjected-to-multiple-rectal-searches-and-enemas-by-police-officers-receives-1-6-million-settlement)

Those cops didn't take no for an answer. Repeatedly.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on January 22, 2014, 11:18:18 pm


Man Subjected To Multiple Rectal Searches And Enemas By Police Officers Receives $1.6 Million Settlement (http://www.freshnews.org/feeds/techdirt/posts/man-subjected-to-multiple-rectal-searches-and-enemas-by-police-officers-receives-1-6-million-settlement)

Those cops didn't take no for an answer. Repeatedly.

Ruddy Norah  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on January 22, 2014, 11:19:32 pm
Oh uggber, I mean rubber! (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-25852322)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on January 23, 2014, 08:05:14 am
Oh uggber, I mean rubber! (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-north-west-wales-25852322)

I love the ambergris meme.... "it's worth thousands to the US perfume industry".

No it isn't.  The US considers all ambergris (not just black ambergris) to be covered by CITES and its a criminal offence to sell it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on January 23, 2014, 02:03:01 pm
Aberystwyth magistrates don't feel that 29 points is enough for a ban (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-25849675)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 04, 2014, 05:55:22 pm
Crocodile terrorising bus drivers in Bristol docks (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/LIVE-BLOG-Croc-spot-latest-Bristol-s-crocodile/story-20555985-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on February 04, 2014, 06:45:52 pm
Crocodile terrorising bus drivers in Bristol docks (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/LIVE-BLOG-Croc-spot-latest-Bristol-s-crocodile/story-20555985-detail/story.html)

I hope they breathalysed the bus driver who first reported it...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on February 04, 2014, 07:00:36 pm
Love it !!!

I haven't dug back to the start of that story, but I'm suspecting a cunning publicity dept at the film company.

Nessy, the Dartmoor Puma, now this - it's looking like a reliable formula.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on February 04, 2014, 10:23:29 pm
Possessed by the urge to dial 999. (http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/999-calls-ghosts-Torquay-witches-Newton-Abbot/story-20375766-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tom_e on February 04, 2014, 10:37:46 pm
Possessed by the urge to dial 999. (http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/999-calls-ghosts-Torquay-witches-Newton-Abbot/story-20375766-detail/story.html)

Quote
One unfortunate man believed there was a ghost in his house and had found blood on the bathroom door. It later turned out his friends had played a prank.
;D Gits.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on February 04, 2014, 10:49:23 pm
Possessed by the urge to dial 999. (http://www.torquayheraldexpress.co.uk/999-calls-ghosts-Torquay-witches-Newton-Abbot/story-20375766-detail/story.html)

From the comments:

Quote
The Police should take ghosts far more seriously. Once caught they should be unmasked. How many crimes are committed by people pretending to be ghosts ! There was the old man from the amusement park, there was the janitor, there was old man smithers, there was the old woman from the lighthouse, there was the guy who was looking for buried treasure in the old mine although he dressed up as the miner 49er, they would have all gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those meddling kids and that dumb dog. The Police need to take Ghost crime more seriously or run the risk of looking like a cartoon force.
Tee, and what is more, hee.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on February 08, 2014, 09:54:57 pm
Three-legged dog will not be put down after biting man (http://www.cambrian-news.co.uk/news/i/37802/).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on February 11, 2014, 06:14:19 pm
A PLYMOUTH woman who cancelled her brother's wedding in what a court heard was like an “EastEnders plot line” has been sent to prison. (http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/Jail-Plymouth-woman-cancelled-brother-s-wedding/story-20604856-detail/story.html#ixzz2t2RntRhD)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 11, 2014, 06:16:48 pm
A PLYMOUTH woman who cancelled her brother's wedding in what a court heard was like an “EastEnders plot line” has been sent to prison. (http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/Jail-Plymouth-woman-cancelled-brother-s-wedding/story-20604856-detail/story.html#ixzz2t2RntRhD)

When we did the giving notice thing, they stressed that any alteration to the date had to be made in person with a load of ID.  Apparently this sort of thing happens a lot...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on February 11, 2014, 06:33:06 pm
...and also:-

Exeter's Dr Emily Bernhard Jackson, author of The Coma Sutra, is writing to the rescue of those unable to compose a truly romantic love letter. (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Exeter-Coma-Sutra-author-comes-rescue-lovelorn/story-20604884-detail/story.html#ixzz2t2WYwQrW)


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 11, 2014, 06:55:14 pm
...and also:-

Exeter's Dr Emily Bernhard Jackson, author of The Coma Sutra, is writing to the rescue of those unable to compose a truly romantic love letter. (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Exeter-Coma-Sutra-author-comes-rescue-lovelorn/story-20604884-detail/story.html#ixzz2t2WYwQrW)

Quote
In a world where the popularity of Twitter has reduced everyday conversation to a mere 140 characters, she is determined to breath new life into the dying art of composing a love letter.
  ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 11, 2014, 08:19:59 pm
Or for mediaeval choristers - semi-breve, and breathe.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on February 12, 2014, 05:50:07 pm
...and also:-

Exeter's Dr Emily Bernhard Jackson, author of The Coma Sutra, is writing to the rescue of those unable to compose a truly romantic love letter. (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Exeter-Coma-Sutra-author-comes-rescue-lovelorn/story-20604884-detail/story.html#ixzz2t2WYwQrW)

Quote
In a world where the popularity of Twitter has reduced everyday conversation to a mere 140 characters, she is determined to breath new life into the dying art of composing a love letter.
  ::-)
She's saved a whole letter there.

IGMC ...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on February 12, 2014, 06:43:48 pm
Bumper crop this week.

Collie dog eats Somerset builder's £80k Aston Martin car. (http://www.bridgwatermercury.co.uk/news/10983785.Dog_eats_Somerset_builder_s___80k_Aston_Martin/?ref=ms)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on February 15, 2014, 12:15:55 pm
Romance is dead in Darlington (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11009173.Man_who_harassed_embalmer_had__an_unhealthy_interest_in_the_dead_/?ref=mry).

...but not quite dead in Stockton (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/local/teesvalley/stockton/11010359.Proving_that_in_Stockton_romance_is_not_dead/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruth on February 15, 2014, 12:19:50 pm
Well, I live in Darlington and got two valentine cards, so there  :P

OK so they were both from dogs, but I'm really not fussy.

I believe both the dogs are alive, bonus.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on February 15, 2014, 03:12:08 pm
Stockton's fine.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 18, 2014, 06:30:47 pm
Gillette.  The Best A Cat Can Get.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11018755.Mystery_over_outbreak_of_cat_shaving_incidents/

I could have saved them the bother; cats are the same pattern underneath their fur).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on February 18, 2014, 07:53:15 pm

Helen Mirren rumoured to have been spotted in Honiton cafe (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Helen-Mirren-rumoured-spotted-Honiton-cafe/story-20650691-detail/story.html#ixzz2thkgZgXK)

Quote
Over the last few years the café has had a number of famous customers including jazz legend Jools Holland, a Cash in the Attic presenter, Dragon’s Den judges Deborah Meaden and Theo Paphitis and a former president of Zambia who surprised diners with an impromptu go on the piano.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 20, 2014, 09:33:08 pm
Bumper crop this week.

Collie dog eats Somerset builder's £80k Aston Martin car. (http://www.bridgwatermercury.co.uk/news/10983785.Dog_eats_Somerset_builder_s___80k_Aston_Martin/?ref=ms)
Dogma bites karma.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PaulR on February 21, 2014, 05:19:37 pm
Orpington man got really drunk (http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/11029025.Orpington_man_wakes_up_in_Amsterdam_after_getting_really_drunk_at_funeral/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on February 21, 2014, 07:56:26 pm
Orpington man got really drunk (http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/11029025.Orpington_man_wakes_up_in_Amsterdam_after_getting_really_drunk_at_funeral/?ref=rss)

The other stories linked onwards in the News Shopper are a triumph:

Quote
Single Bromley woman auctions herself on eBay to find Valentine's Day dinner date

Woman outraged at 'inappropriate' lingerie-clad mannequins in window of Debenhams, Bromley

Bromley girl's Valentine's Day eBay auction winner refuses to pay
Classy place, Bromley.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on February 24, 2014, 08:00:51 pm
Seagulls in sausage roll frenzy (http://www.thescarboroughnews.co.uk/news/environment/sausage-roll-scoffed-in-seagull-frenzy-1-6459809)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 24, 2014, 08:43:43 pm
Best headline.  Ever.

http://www.thisiswiltshire.co.uk/news/headlines/10939545._We_re_just_fed_up_with_doggers__flytippers_and_men_dressed_as_fairies_/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on February 24, 2014, 09:59:48 pm
That's a story about a group of men planning to go hang around a dogging site...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 26, 2014, 10:42:05 am
Essex Nazis (http://www.essexchronicle.co.uk/Swastikas-engraved-Essex-county-hall-Chelmsford/story-20699461-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on February 26, 2014, 11:28:19 am
It merely reflects the politics of the County Council.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on February 26, 2014, 11:29:23 am
Breaking News! (http://www.midweekherald.co.uk/news/quake_felt_in_honiton_1_3344204)

Quote
I was up in my bedroom having a bit of lunch when suddenly my big three-door wardrobe started vibrating.

It went on a little while.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 26, 2014, 11:32:20 am
It merely reflects the politics of the County Council.
As many faces as Lord Brahma or Greek finances?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 27, 2014, 07:40:48 pm
Eviction on the Western Isles (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-25734705)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on February 28, 2014, 05:38:48 pm
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11039130.Second_parking_vote_lost_as_Rochford_Tory_resigns/?ref=mr

Councillor resigns over something that really matters.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 28, 2014, 06:00:18 pm
Angela Hale looks pretty scary in that photo.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on March 01, 2014, 07:59:43 am
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11039130.Second_parking_vote_lost_as_Rochford_Tory_resigns/?ref=mr

Councillor resigns over something that really matters.

Yeah - defending the rights of people to park for free is really important...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on March 01, 2014, 07:31:46 pm
Former primary school headteacher from Wrexham spanked wife over affair (http://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/former-primary-school-headteacher-wrexham-6741497).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 01, 2014, 09:31:52 pm
At my primary school she would have got The Slipper.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on March 02, 2014, 07:32:28 am
Ruler across the back of the knees at mine. None of your namby pamby slippers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on March 03, 2014, 10:41:43 am
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11039130.Second_parking_vote_lost_as_Rochford_Tory_resigns/?ref=mr

Councillor resigns over something that really matters.
Yeah - defending the rights of people to park for free is really important...
What I found strange was that the Green councillor voted for the suspension of parking charges in that second motion (or more accurately, for the motion delaying the introduction)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: little miss mac on March 03, 2014, 06:25:22 pm
From the Wandsworth Guardian: woman indoors when weather inclement; unhurt.

(http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7449/12909781095_d3f99b1b36.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on March 05, 2014, 08:00:48 am
20 tonne piece of lead on a roof?  I think someone's got their units mixed up...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on March 05, 2014, 09:36:46 am
According to the London Metal Exchange website, the current value of 20 tonnes of lead is about £42000. No wonder house prices are going up!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on March 05, 2014, 10:24:24 am
Putney B&B is helpfully marked on Google Maps.  Streetview confirms that there is no suitable roof for that sort of covering around there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 06, 2014, 10:46:30 pm
In the top 185 in the country (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Bristol-184th-musical-place-live-UK/story-20773042-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on March 07, 2014, 07:33:01 am
I note that Sheffield, one of the country's most fertile musical hubs, rates 176.  Did someone just take a list of places and a random number generator?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on March 07, 2014, 07:34:58 am
I note that Sheffield, one of the country's most fertile musical hubs, rates 176.  Did someone just take a list of places and a random number generator?

I think that's the case for most of the 'Top of' lists that appear in various publications...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on March 07, 2014, 07:35:54 am
Probably so.  But it makes for a good press release.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on March 07, 2014, 10:23:33 am
Anyone up for a night ride?

http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/News/Bedfordshire-dogging-sites-exposed-An-area-of-outstanding-natural-beauty-and-a-supermarket-car-park-20140306150000.htm (http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/News/Bedfordshire-dogging-sites-exposed-An-area-of-outstanding-natural-beauty-and-a-supermarket-car-park-20140306150000.htm)
 :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 07, 2014, 11:00:10 am
I note that Sheffield, one of the country's most fertile musical hubs, rates 176.  Did someone just take a list of places and a random number generator?
Sheffield fails to make top 175 shock!

There's no attempt to explain what is meant by "the ability to engage with music" or how they measured it, nor is there any kind of scale - so it might as well be random. If we assume these are "points out of a hundred" then the range from top 84.27 to bottom 72.52 doesn't seem that huge.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on March 07, 2014, 11:10:23 am
I am sure that we could have David Martin rubbing his hands with glee once we start to ask about sampling, let alone methodology! ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on March 11, 2014, 08:28:31 pm
Norfolk: Fire station destroyed in fire. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-26525149)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on March 11, 2014, 08:46:40 pm
Norfolk: Fire station destroyed in fire. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-26525149)

It's not uncommon (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-20577549). (My other half's parents lived next door).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on March 11, 2014, 09:27:09 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11066036.Mural_painted_over_by__masked_vigilantes___as_Sherburn_barber_threatened_online/?ref=mr

Oh dear.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 11, 2014, 09:31:46 pm
Norfolk: Fire station destroyed in fire. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-26525149)

It's not uncommon (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-20577549). (My other half's parents lived next door).

This makes me feel bad for grinning every time I see the "fire assembly point" sign outside our local one.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on March 12, 2014, 08:13:22 am
Surely their job is more about fire disassembly? (Any one of fuel, heat, oxygen, IIRC)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 12, 2014, 10:59:58 am
Fire un-fettling.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on March 12, 2014, 04:47:44 pm
Well, that's settled that debate.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on March 12, 2014, 05:31:29 pm
In the top 185 in the country (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Bristol-184th-musical-place-live-UK/story-20773042-detail/story.html)

Swale is 366th out of 375. I must try harder.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on March 13, 2014, 09:36:59 am
Crashed a van full of dead badgers into a bustop (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/11071240.Kelly_Brook_s_ex_boyfriend_crashed_van_full_of_dead_badgers_into_bus_shelter_in_Gloucester/?ref=var_0).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 13, 2014, 09:42:10 am
Crashed a van full of dead badgers into a bustop (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/11071240.Kelly_Brook_s_ex_boyfriend_crashed_van_full_of_dead_badgers_into_bus_shelter_in_Gloucester/?ref=var_0).
He loves badgers (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/11073788.Kelly_Brook_s_ex_boyfriend_David_McIntosh_says_he_loves_animals_and_is_against_culling_badgers/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 13, 2014, 01:44:11 pm
Meanwhile in Canterbury, no bus stops were harmed: http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_gazette/news/blubberneckers-13296/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on March 13, 2014, 05:35:30 pm
This may appear later in the 'things you find by the roadside' thread by someone from Middlesbrough:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/middlesbrough-penis-attack-arrest-after-3238099
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on March 13, 2014, 05:38:18 pm
Meanwhile in Canterbury, no bus stops were harmed: http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_gazette/news/blubberneckers-13296/

Hmmm... I'd have said that was illegal transportation of animal waste.  Also, I'd be interested to see whether they had correct permission to dispore of the carcass.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on March 14, 2014, 10:53:30 pm
sentenced to 16 months in prison after officers found him concealing a 20cm knife between his buttocks (http://www.getwestlondon.co.uk/news/local-news/gang-member-jailed-carrying-knife-6804126)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on March 15, 2014, 07:55:39 pm
Meanwhile in Canterbury, no bus stops were harmed: http://www.kentonline.co.uk/kentish_gazette/news/blubberneckers-13296/

Hmmm... I'd have said that was illegal transportation of animal waste.  Also, I'd be interested to see whether they had correct permission to dispore of the carcass.
Being a fish royal, it can only be disposed of by the Receiver of Wreck, on behalf of the Queen. Maritime and Coastguard Agency rules are here (http://www.dft.gov.uk/mca/mca920.pdf).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on March 15, 2014, 10:33:33 pm
(http://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bib8HgsIcAAx8Wx.jpg)

Not even two boxes, it was two packets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on March 16, 2014, 09:36:21 am
I suspect that was two boxes, but even so.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on March 25, 2014, 09:29:00 am
Ms Talbot was cleared of an allegation that she played the rock song Sex On Fire and subsequently shouted out of her office window: "Come on vicar, complain about this." (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-26725521)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on March 25, 2014, 01:23:53 pm
'Gun' turns out to be television remote control (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11099911.Man___s_gun_turned_out_to_be_television_remote_control/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on April 02, 2014, 08:49:07 pm
Just for the headline: http://www.donsidepiper.co.uk/news/local-headlines/farmers-of-the-world-ewe-nite-1-3361630
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on April 03, 2014, 11:24:19 am
The headline for this one should be the start of a music hall joke: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-26864338
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on April 03, 2014, 11:34:28 am
The headline for this one should be the start of a music hall joke: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-26864338

That headline couldn't be battered.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on April 19, 2014, 07:50:32 pm
"Family's car catches fire in Longleat lion enclosure"

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-wiltshire-27078566
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Dibdib on April 23, 2014, 05:31:27 pm
"Naked man Tasered after throwing pants at police officer" [Swindon Advertiser (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11166705.Naked_man_Tasered_after_throwing_pants_at_police_officer/)]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on April 24, 2014, 03:22:56 pm
Thieves target homes with low self esteem:

Linky (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2014/04/24/handbag-raiders-swoop-on-houses-in-telford/)

Quote
Chris Ammonds, of West Mercia Police said: “The offenders seem to be targeting properties that seem to be insecure."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on April 25, 2014, 11:11:07 am
Devil worshipping, live sacrifice and "fornicating fun for all the family"

Rush over to Stevenage now

Or maybe it's a hoax (http://www.thecomet.net/news/devil_worshipping_posters_in_stevenage_are_a_malicious_hoax_1_3571374/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on April 28, 2014, 08:57:32 pm
Romance is dead in Darlington (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11009173.Man_who_harassed_embalmer_had__an_unhealthy_interest_in_the_dead_/?ref=mry).


This one's still not dead:

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11174112.Darlington_man_who_threatened_funeral_director_spared_jail_after_telling_magistrates___Prison_is_simply_not_for_me_/?ref=mr

I'll bet he rehearsed those lines.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: delthebike on April 29, 2014, 04:44:07 pm
This is a nice idea.  :-*
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11176920.Have_a_banana__Our_2_000_pressies_for_hospice___s_runners/?ref=la
They should give them now so that they'll be ripe in time!  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on May 01, 2014, 10:58:08 am
Biff Tannen sighted in mini:

http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/photo_gallery_lorry_sheds_load_of_slurry_during_crash_on_a140_at_pulham_1_3580983
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on May 01, 2014, 11:04:42 am
Oh poo.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on May 04, 2014, 04:43:38 pm
They know how to have a good time in Ely:

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/ziggycat/1D0665EF-567F-4D45-BF6D-E0D7661B3DC3_zpsad4uekyx.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: delthebike on May 04, 2014, 04:46:57 pm
I expect the food fayre will contain bruised eel pie.  ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on May 04, 2014, 08:07:08 pm
Popular knob competitions. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-27259589)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on May 04, 2014, 08:12:03 pm
Popular knob competitions. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-27259589)


Quote
The longest throw was by Dave Morrison, who tossed his knob 21.8m (71ft).

Hurrah!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on May 04, 2014, 09:55:35 pm
They know how to have a good time in Ely:

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/ziggycat/1D0665EF-567F-4D45-BF6D-E0D7661B3DC3_zpsad4uekyx.jpg)

I reckon they're giving Peasenhall (of Pea Festival fame) a run for their money...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on May 05, 2014, 11:01:54 am
They know how to have a good time in Ely:

(http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y250/ziggycat/1D0665EF-567F-4D45-BF6D-E0D7661B3DC3_zpsad4uekyx.jpg)

Do they have to eat the eels before throwing them?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on May 05, 2014, 11:19:38 am
Popular knob competitions. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-27259589)
Quote
The longest throw was by Dave Morrison, who tossed his knob 21.8m (71ft).
Hurrah!
We went to that yesterday. Didn't toss any knobs, but the food fair associated with it was rather good.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Biff on May 05, 2014, 11:20:19 am
I wonder how Cockermouth celebrates.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on May 05, 2014, 04:04:19 pm
Restaurant has to shut

http://www.gloucestercitizen.co.uk/Real-China-Gloucester-Quays-closes-technical/story-21058423-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on May 05, 2014, 04:08:52 pm
Car in collision with van. No-one hurt.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11187897.Crash_in_Southend_town_centre_leaves_Mercedes_badly_damaged/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on May 05, 2014, 07:44:16 pm
I wonder how Cockermouth celebrates.

With a music festival.  CockRock (http://www.cockermouthrockfestival.com/)  :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on May 05, 2014, 11:07:19 pm
Water tanker on fire

http://www.shetnews.co.uk/newsbites/8489-tank-on-fire
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on May 13, 2014, 10:31:43 am
Our local rag has just undergone a change of editorship, and not before time. Bear in mind that the Southend Echo is essentially one and the same as the Basildon version, where Andy Coulson cut his journalistic fangs, and the previous editor was everything you might have expected him to be. Mendacious and twisting to a fault, this guy has now retired and in recent weeks a new guy has taken his place.

The difference, so far, is huge. The paper is actually doing the job a newspaper is meant to do - holding the council to account and daring to criticise. I wonder how long he will last before the owners, and the good ol' boys who influence them, will get shot of him and put some other nasty corrupting influence in charge.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on May 13, 2014, 06:43:43 pm
Water tanker on fire

http://www.shetnews.co.uk/newsbites/8489-tank-on-fire

At least the fire brigade had a water supply to connect their hoses to...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on May 16, 2014, 04:49:09 pm
 Fire training centre burns down

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11218782.UPDATE_3_25pm__Why_firefighters_had_to_dash_to_North_Yorkshire_s_fire_training_centre/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11218782.UPDATE_3_25pm__Why_firefighters_had_to_dash_to_North_Yorkshire_s_fire_training_centre/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on June 01, 2014, 05:00:46 pm
Woman drags dishwasher home:

http://www.folkestoneherald.co.uk/PICTURE-Woman-drags-dishwasher-home/story-21170379-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on June 01, 2014, 06:18:14 pm
If she's trying to take it round Ireland, she's off course.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on June 02, 2014, 06:33:11 pm
Builder gets it wrong (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/beaks-hill-road-kings-norton-7205545)

Quote
A spokesman for West Midlands Fire Service said: “Fire crews were called out at 4.08pm and are still at the scene and liaising with the builder who was on site.

"Hello?  Mrs. Gruffbrummie?  Sorry to call you at work, but you know that kitchen extension I'm doing for you.'.............?"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on June 04, 2014, 05:18:14 pm
Morris dancers scare dog.

Go to page 9 of the Honiton edition. (http://edition.pagesuite-professional.co.uk/Launch.aspx?PBID=03a901df-0b77-4e35-90e6-93ca8d117094)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on June 04, 2014, 07:39:02 pm
Morris dancers scare dog.

Go to page 9 of the Honiton edition. (http://edition.pagesuite-professional.co.uk/Launch.aspx?PBID=03a901df-0b77-4e35-90e6-93ca8d117094)


Now I know why Mrs E and her sisters and brother left Devon; they couldn't bear the excitement.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on June 05, 2014, 07:32:19 am
Morris dancers scare dog.

Go to page 9 of the Honiton edition. (http://edition.pagesuite-professional.co.uk/Launch.aspx?PBID=03a901df-0b77-4e35-90e6-93ca8d117094)

Morris dancers are a quite convincing argument for repealing the ban on hunting with dogs...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: arabella on June 05, 2014, 05:43:51 pm
Hmm.  I like Morris dancing, it's cheerfully absurd.  And they wear jolly costumes and (sometimes) splendid hats.  And the music is all jolly'n'cherful. If I was up to all that skipping and jumpng around the place I'd probably do it myself.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on June 09, 2014, 11:02:51 pm
http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11264412.Naked_Tour_de_France_cyclist_who_answered_call_of_nature_in_farmer_s_field_prompts_toilet_plea/?ref=mr

Quote
The man said the family would now stand elsewhere.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruth on June 09, 2014, 11:06:20 pm
http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11264412.Naked_Tour_de_France_cyclist_who_answered_call_of_nature_in_farmer_s_field_prompts_toilet_plea/?ref=mr

Quote
The man said the family would now stand elsewhere.

Quote
It is understood that when professional cyclists competing in the Tour de France need to go, they will often relieve themselves while still on their bikes.

EWWW!!!  I thought it was just Greg Lemond who did that!   :sick:

You'd think it'd be a bit squishy and uncomfortable.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on June 09, 2014, 11:07:08 pm
Looking at the saddles they use, maybe it adds padding :-\
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on June 09, 2014, 11:51:54 pm
http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11264412.Naked_Tour_de_France_cyclist_who_answered_call_of_nature_in_farmer_s_field_prompts_toilet_plea/?ref=mr

Quote
The man said the family would now stand elsewhere.

Honestly, it's a field. All sorts of animals will be pooing in it every day!

Anyway, they are a farming family, don't they have wellies?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on June 10, 2014, 12:14:43 am
Are you serious? I'd not want to be buying ASDA* silage, knowing there might be human poo in it.

* for our Bristol readers: ASDAL
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 10, 2014, 09:37:10 am
*Concludes Jaded has been visiting Bedminsterl*
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 10, 2014, 01:26:56 pm
In a pub in another part of Bristol, pea soup is the thing to order. (http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Horrified-diner-finds-kitchen-pans-used-catch/story-21211408-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on June 12, 2014, 06:48:14 pm
Seems that fires in Llandysul are not very good
http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/11274946.Rubbish_fire/?ref=rss&utm_medium=twitter

Warning.  Very long article.  There are 14 whole words.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on June 12, 2014, 08:00:43 pm
Well, that was rubbish
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on June 12, 2014, 11:05:41 pm
Pink suspenders and an alice band. (http://www.westernmorningnews.co.uk/Man-jailed-walking-city-centre-wearing-pink/story-21226710-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on June 12, 2014, 11:09:48 pm
MAMIL rage?

http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11271537.Irate_cyclist_punches_grandfather_in_nose/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on June 22, 2014, 01:30:46 am
Anyone got 5 tonnes of sausages and a 100 gallons of gravy to complete this:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11293176.UPDATED_9_35pm__Instant_mash_spill_blocks_A64_in_both_directions/?ref=var_0

This is the nearest bit of main road to our house.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on June 22, 2014, 10:35:48 am
That could cause a smash.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on June 22, 2014, 10:38:13 am
Any bangers on the A64?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Peter on June 22, 2014, 10:50:52 am
Did you notice the name of the reporter?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on June 22, 2014, 10:55:15 am
http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11264412.Naked_Tour_de_France_cyclist_who_answered_call_of_nature_in_farmer_s_field_prompts_toilet_plea/?ref=mr

Quote
The man said the family would now stand elsewhere.

The proper retort is, of course "I'll stop shitting in your field when you stop spreading your shit all over my roads!"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on June 29, 2014, 01:00:01 am
Not sure whether this belongs here or in the motoring morons thread

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-28062553
:facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on July 01, 2014, 09:37:45 am
Today's excitement at work: Cow in Aberdeen Harbour sparks lifeboat rescue effort (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-28105954)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on July 01, 2014, 03:58:23 pm
It got shot  :'(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on July 08, 2014, 02:35:26 pm
And this one takes the biscuit: Lorry and trailer full of shortbread stolen in Kintore (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-28210576)







That is my coat, isn't it?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on July 08, 2014, 02:57:04 pm
Woman has 26 year old shop receipt stunner (http://www.expressandstar.com/news/2014/07/08/customer-amazes-staff-at-closing-down-supermarket-with-receipt-from-day-it-opened-26-years-ago/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on July 08, 2014, 06:52:12 pm
It's inappropriate to treat tragedy with levity, but "Southend murder: victim airlifted to hospital" seems wrong somehow.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 10, 2014, 04:45:30 pm
http://www.gazetteandherald.co.uk/news/11328181.Devizes_shoppers_drenched_by_late_arrival_of_forecast_downpour/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on July 15, 2014, 10:26:32 am
http://www.carmarthenjournal.co.uk/search.html?searchType=&searchPhrase=ufo&where= (http://www.carmarthenjournal.co.uk/search.html?searchType=&searchPhrase=ufo&where=)

…you have a choice of articles!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on July 15, 2014, 12:47:44 pm
Man locked in lavatory and released unharmed.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/man-rescued-liverpool-toilet-fire-7416102 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/man-rescued-liverpool-toilet-fire-7416102)


Pity it wasn't seven old ladies.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on July 15, 2014, 02:14:30 pm
Man locked in lavatory and released unharmed.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/man-rescued-liverpool-toilet-fire-7416102 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/man-rescued-liverpool-toilet-fire-7416102)


Pity it wasn't seven old ladies.


How long was he there?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 16, 2014, 01:29:19 pm
Not sure if Upminster counts as the provinces (it is inside the M25), but someone there seems to think it's appropriate to fly-tip a horse:

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/Horse-broken-leg-dumped-flytipping-hotspot/story-21644443-detail/story.html

WTF?   >:(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on July 16, 2014, 01:49:35 pm
Not sure if Upminster counts as the provinces (it is inside the M25), but someone there seems to think it's appropriate to fly-tip a horse:

http://www.brentwoodgazette.co.uk/Horse-broken-leg-dumped-flytipping-hotspot/story-21644443-detail/story.html

WTF?   >:(

I saw that. It sounds really nasty.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on July 16, 2014, 01:49:50 pm
Milky Bar penis. (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Milky-Bar-penis-similarity-stuns-lawyer/story-21644553-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 16, 2014, 02:02:16 pm
Made by one of Basil's mates?

The really dodgy thing is a 31-year old eating a Milky Bar!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on July 16, 2014, 02:21:35 pm
"Eagle-eyed Robin Jacobs, 31, noticed the similarity before chowing down onto the bar."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on July 21, 2014, 12:25:30 pm
'The education lawyer said: "It was a little bit surprising, I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before - that's for sure."'

That's what Michael Gove has done for us!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on July 22, 2014, 11:33:00 pm
'The education lawyer said: "It was a little bit surprising, I don't think I've ever seen anything like it before - that's for sure."'

That's what Michael Gove has done for us!

I would imagine what happened was that someone instructed that a picture of Michael Gove be printed on the chocolate bar and someone else made a perfectly understandable mistake.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on July 23, 2014, 03:00:02 pm
Rabbit found in postbox
http://www.rotherhamadvertiser.co.uk/news/96551/rspca-condemns-rabbit-postbox-prank.aspx
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 24, 2014, 11:44:01 pm
Beware the melonbomb
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11364363.Fruity_romantic_sparks_police_scare/?ref=var_0 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/11364363.Fruity_romantic_sparks_police_scare/?ref=var_0)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 25, 2014, 12:26:42 pm
Feral cat sneaks into house, fights back when approached.

http://www.kentonline.co.uk/canterbury/news/devil-cats-rampage-ends-thanks-19608/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on July 25, 2014, 01:16:20 pm
Are we sure this isn't Ham's new cat?

(Why do I read kentonline as ketomin?)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 26, 2014, 09:00:55 pm
Yes, it's the most YACF local news story ever.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11367749.Police_warning_after_cyclist_is_attacked_by_badger/

The comments are what you'd expect...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on July 26, 2014, 11:48:03 pm
The comments are definitely a cut above the normal stuff.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 27, 2014, 08:49:06 am
(http://www.moretvicar.com/media/product/2014/06/03/1535_4687_w300.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 29, 2014, 12:01:20 am
Dog eats retired publican's watch

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-28532283
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Rhys W on August 01, 2014, 11:16:15 pm
That's enough to traumatise any dog.

And finally, dog traumatised (http://www.southwalesargus.co.uk/news/11374435.Dog__lsquo_traumatised_rsquo__after_thieves_break_into_farm/?ref=mry).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on August 02, 2014, 09:31:05 am
Jedi light sabres in Bristol.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-28610691

mind you, this could be in the grammar thread.

Quote
Suspected human body parts have been found at a recycling plant in Bristol.

The force was called to the Biffa depot in Avonmouth at approximately 11:00 BST after being alerted by staff.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on August 02, 2014, 10:58:34 am
Jedi light sabres in Bristol.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-28610691

mind you, this could be in the grammar thread.

Quote
Suspected human body parts have been found at a recycling plant in Bristol.

The force was called to the Biffa depot in Avonmouth at approximately 11:00 BST after being alerted by staff.

I was just going to post almost exactly the same  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on August 06, 2014, 02:56:57 pm
Suspected burglar of bike shop & pursuing policeman both run over by police car: suspect killed, policeman taken to hospital.

http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/wokingham-road-reopened-after-fatal-7571401 (http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/wokingham-road-reopened-after-fatal-7571401)

It happened about 200 metres from here.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on August 06, 2014, 05:47:05 pm
Suspected burglar of bike shop & pursuing policeman both run over by police car: suspect killed, policeman taken to hospital.

http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/wokingham-road-reopened-after-fatal-7571401 (http://www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/wokingham-road-reopened-after-fatal-7571401)

It happened about 200 metres from here.

I used to live over the sewing machine shop (Sew Divine) next door to that bike shop.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on August 06, 2014, 11:06:01 pm
Still there.

The poor bloke killed by the cop car may have been an innocent passer by.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on August 07, 2014, 09:52:41 am
Roswell Incident in Welwyn Garden City (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/roswell_incident_explanation_offered_over_ufo_sighting_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_3714497).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on August 07, 2014, 12:04:04 pm
The joys of country life..

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-28541690
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on August 07, 2014, 12:07:26 pm
From one of the supporting docs:

Quote
When sewage sludge passes from one person to another the Environmental Protection (Duty of Care) Regulations apply.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on August 08, 2014, 10:05:03 am
Burgler caught wearing victims underwear

http://www.leaderlive.co.uk/news/136562/deeside-burglar-caught-in-victim-s-underwear.aspx (http://www.leaderlive.co.uk/news/136562/deeside-burglar-caught-in-victim-s-underwear.aspx)

Well it is Wales

Sits back and waits for the first joke about sheep
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: orienteer on August 08, 2014, 10:14:43 am
Woolly thermals for shear warmth?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on August 14, 2014, 03:26:44 pm
A phallic map of Berko...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-28783990
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on August 14, 2014, 11:09:58 pm
Nobody tested in Lincolnshire for deadly virus (http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/Ebola-outbreak-tested-Lincolnshire-deadly-virus/story-22300278-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on August 15, 2014, 12:38:59 am
 :thumbsup: ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on August 15, 2014, 08:19:47 pm
Lol
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on August 15, 2014, 11:18:15 pm
That's a great relief. My parents lived in Lincolnshire about 18 years ago and I've been worrying about them recently. 

Of course, we do have an Ebola epidemic at an asylum seekers' detention centre but the government is keeping that quiet in case the editor of the Daily Express has a heart attack in excitement
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on August 15, 2014, 11:36:42 pm
A spokesman for gibbons said he was glad that no gibbons were involved.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on September 02, 2014, 05:45:55 pm
Shap man admits cake theft (http://)
Quote
A man from Shap in Cumbria has pleaded guilty to the theft of chocolate, crisps and a cake valued at £4.79 from a shop at Centre Parcs holiday village near Penrith.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on September 17, 2014, 12:13:04 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11476405.Frustrated_baker_in_court_for_headbutting_faulty_sausage_roll_machine/?ref=var_0

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 17, 2014, 12:54:28 pm
Nobody tested in Lincolnshire for deadly virus (http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/Ebola-outbreak-tested-Lincolnshire-deadly-virus/story-22300278-detail/story.html)
Absolute classic!  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on September 17, 2014, 05:21:53 pm
No link, unfortunately, because there's nothing in the online version about it and I didn't buy the paper, but yesterday's billboard headline was

CYCLE SMASH CAUSES CHAOS

I wouldn't mind betting that any chaos that was caused was not as a result of a cycle being involved, but a motor vehicle of some sort. If it's just bikes and people, clearing it away afterwards isn't usually that much of a problem.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on September 19, 2014, 01:01:15 pm
http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/11467269.Mysterious_trail_of_sandwiches_found_in_Brockley/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 20, 2014, 07:27:59 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11485751.Man_queues_for_44_hours_for_iphone_to_win_back_wife/#commentsList

What a muppet.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on September 20, 2014, 03:20:23 pm
http://www.midweekherald.co.uk/news/brothel_bus_prostitutes_determined_to_visit_east_devon_1_892673

Quote
Mobile hookers Roxy, 25, and friend Ronnie, 27, say Sidmouth’s elderly population won’t deter their self-styled ‘passion wagon’ from dropping in on the Regency seaside resort as they embark on a road-trip across the South West.

Astonished residents this week said ‘no thanks’ to the saucy duo and warned: “There’ll be uproar over this. People will be livid.”

The pair offer spanking, threesomes, humiliation and exhibitionism from their ‘service station with a difference’- a white camper van.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tewdric on September 21, 2014, 07:36:35 am
"If prostitutes hit the streets of Sidmouth at night, I think they’ll find people are tucked up in bed with a cup of cocoa.”

 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on September 22, 2014, 08:59:11 am
A Cumbrian man has once again proved himself to be unbeatable when it comes to pulling faces.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-29301914
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on September 24, 2014, 02:08:38 pm
Hoots mon! (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-29342106)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on September 27, 2014, 08:59:08 pm
Who new that farriers had to be registered.
http://www.gazetteherald.co.uk/news/11498064.Illegal_farrier_fined/?ref=mr
I love The Gazette, it's the only actual physical paper I get every week.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: David Martin on September 27, 2014, 11:27:02 pm
I didn't realise that it doesn't cover NI and until recently didn't include the islands of Scotland
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on September 28, 2014, 06:38:26 pm
Who new that farriers had to be registered.
http://www.gazetteherald.co.uk/news/11498064.Illegal_farrier_fined/?ref=mr
I love The Gazette, it's the only actual physical paper I get every week.

Farriers are actually one of the oldest registered professions in the UK - and the smallest.  The Farriers Registration Council used to meet at our offices.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on September 29, 2014, 12:21:51 pm
Poo-dunnit - police release picture after number two is found on bus seat (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11499577.Poo_dunnit___police_release_picture_after_number_two_is_found_on_bus_seat/?ref=mr)

No, not those kind of pictures.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 02, 2014, 07:41:26 pm
Hapless thief tries to steal from car parked outside training course for BOUNCERS (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/watch-hapless-thief-tries-steal-7870303)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 02, 2014, 08:45:59 pm
Nice quote from Wiltshire's finest here:

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11509319.Pensioner_mistakenly_sent_cannabis_package/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on October 02, 2014, 08:51:06 pm
They eat horses, don't they?  exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Petition-launched-eating-Dartmoor-pony-meat (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Petition-launched-eating-Dartmoor-pony-meat/story-23019831-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on October 02, 2014, 10:35:44 pm
Hapless thief tries to steal from car parked outside training course for BOUNCERS (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/watch-hapless-thief-tries-steal-7870303)

Note that the thief is described as 'dim witted' but no comment is made on the wits of the person who left a satnav in view in an unlocked car...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 02, 2014, 10:37:01 pm
Hapless thief tries to steal from car parked outside training course for BOUNCERS (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/watch-hapless-thief-tries-steal-7870303)

Note that the thief is described as 'dim witted' but no comment is made on the wits of the person who left a satnav in view in an unlocked car...

Other than the stereotype connected with the uppercase word in the headline...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on October 03, 2014, 07:13:11 am
Regardless of whether the car is locked or the item is on display, it is still attempted theft.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Arch on October 03, 2014, 08:59:51 pm
Regardless of whether the car is locked or the item is on display, it is still attempted theft.

It is, and I don't deny the criminality or IQ of the thief. But leaving a car unlocked and a Satnav on show isn't a bright move, that's all.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on October 05, 2014, 05:11:27 pm
www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-news-from-elsewhere-29476363
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on October 05, 2014, 05:40:14 pm
Exactly a year on from my last post on this topic, we have it again:

An Aberdeen doctor has hailed his stirring spurtle after being crowned the 21st World Porridge Making Champion in the Highlands.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-29496804


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 05, 2014, 08:12:54 pm
D-lister with atrocious taste in women visits Swindon.  The comments under the story are, as usual, cutting.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/11515546.GALLERY__Peter_Andre_fans_queue_around_the_block_to_meet_their_idol_in_Swindon/#commentsList
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on October 16, 2014, 08:03:33 pm
Escaped crocodile was inflatable toy (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-29634122)
Quote
"Police officers attended and bravely investigated. The beast turned out to be an inflatable toy crocodile. Police have apprehended the crocodile."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on October 16, 2014, 08:16:07 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-29649603

Texts from the beyond
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on October 16, 2014, 09:31:29 pm
Beyond 6 months.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on October 16, 2014, 10:27:41 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-29640363
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 16, 2014, 10:42:01 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-south-scotland-29640363

Yeah, but was the bike okay?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tewdric on November 01, 2014, 10:45:25 pm
Almost anything from the South Wales Evening Post would be eligible for inclusion here but more than three cars in a queue qualifies as news in Swansea..

http://www.southwales-eveningpost.co.uk/TRAVEL-NEWS-Congestion-Fabian-Way-Swansea/story-23888712-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on November 04, 2014, 08:53:44 pm
Young-girl-catches-Tigger-having-sex-Dawlish-town (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Young-girl-catches-Tigger-having-sex-Dawlish-town/story-23810977-detail/story.html)

I can't take credit for finding this one.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on November 09, 2014, 06:23:38 pm
Invocations of 1963 and 1987.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11585886.Brace_yourselves_for_icy_gales_and_snow/?ref=mr

No,we don't usually get much snow in SE Essex.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on November 10, 2014, 11:15:23 am
Invocations of 1963 and 1987.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11585886.Brace_yourselves_for_icy_gales_and_snow/?ref=mr

No,we don't usually get much snow in SE Essex.

Exacta weather who are quoted in that article have form for producing apocalyptic weather headlines for struggling newspaper editors (often the Daily Express). If this one is right expect that fact to be loudly trumpeted. It will probably be wrong and in 6 months time the Met office will be blamed for it.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/paulhudson/posts/whats-behind-the-coldest-winte (http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/paulhudson/posts/whats-behind-the-coldest-winte)

That's just one critical article of the many you'll find by googling them.

In the meantime from my own analysis of many years weather patterns - in the next six months the average temp will be lower than the previous six monthly period. Some areas of the UK will experience frost, fog and or snow. Strong winds will blow occasionally and most areas can expect some rainfall.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on November 17, 2014, 09:19:05 am
Saucy!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on November 17, 2014, 01:05:43 pm
Drug dealer found with crack in his buttocks


http://www.gloucestershireecho.co.uk/Cheltenham-drug-dealer-Edward-Crowe-dubbed/story-24542094-detail/story.html (http://www.gloucestershireecho.co.uk/Cheltenham-drug-dealer-Edward-Crowe-dubbed/story-24542094-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on November 18, 2014, 06:51:36 pm
Hotel 'fines' those who post bad reviews.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on November 18, 2014, 11:00:33 pm
Hotel 'fines' those who post bad reviews.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973)

Are Trip Advisor as rigorous as the Mega-Global Walled Garden Corporation of Menlo Park, USAnia when it comes to a "real names only" policy, then?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on November 19, 2014, 12:14:38 am
Hotel 'fines' those who post bad reviews.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-30100973)

Are Trip Advisor as rigorous as the Mega-Global Walled Garden Corporation of Menlo Park, USAnia when it comes to a "real names only" policy, then?

I don't know. Couple concerned don't appear to want anonymity...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on November 19, 2014, 08:10:11 am
http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/11606963.Horse_pulled_from_cattle_grid_after_getting_leg_stuck/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on November 21, 2014, 02:58:49 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-30141111 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-30141111)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on November 21, 2014, 04:37:16 pm
Bloody thoughtful students.

Quote
POLICE had to shut down an S&M and M&S-themed fancy dress party after finding 250 students dressed in bondage and grandpa outfits.

http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11618571.Police_shut_down_students____2_500_S_M___M_S_party_after_complaint_from_neighbour/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on November 21, 2014, 05:30:47 pm
That looks like Fern Avenue.

Where I used to live.  ;D

Wasn't full of well-to-do studebts then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on November 22, 2014, 04:13:57 pm
That looks like Fern Avenue.

Where I used to live.  ;D

Wasn't full of well-to-do studebts then.

Everything else was the same, though, right? ;)

And just to show the Echo does proper hard-hitting news as well:

http://m.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/11620159.Pond_row_settled_as_ducks_move_to_new_home/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on December 01, 2014, 01:57:33 pm
Man injured by pop-up toilet (http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-30254888)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 06, 2014, 10:10:46 am
A new marque of car is crashed.
http://www.thisiswiltshire.co.uk/news/11648325.Crash_closes_road_to_Devizes_for_six_hours/?ref=mry

Quote
Police were called at about 6.15pm after the collision between an Aldi A4 and a Mercedes C200 Kompressor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 06, 2014, 12:06:13 pm
An Aldi A4 ought to be motoring journoese for a Skoda Octavia.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on December 06, 2014, 01:24:22 pm
Email reaches Swansea:

https://twitter.com/MerielMyers/status/540579233601683456
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 06, 2014, 07:10:59 pm
I think this is how they reproduce...

Rail replacement bus causes Wirral services to be suspended - after ripping its roof off on a rail bridge (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/rail-replacement-bus-causes-wirral-8238825)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 06, 2014, 08:37:37 pm
That's what the first verse of HMHB's "National Shite Day" (https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=5&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CDsQFjAE&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chrisrand.com%2Fhmhb%2Fcsi-ambleside%2Fnational-shite-day%2F&ei=32iDVOLlIsPmUpi3gOgP&usg=AFQjCNEDP2DQJSe953wuJ566yl4OtDad9Q&sig2=RiMVCbg57FvX1nz5xBb9Gw&bvm=bv.80642063,d.d24) is about.  Sort of.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on December 15, 2014, 06:48:20 pm
http://www.cumbriacrack.com/2014/12/15/traffic-warden-attacked-water-pistol/

(and no he isn't a relative)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on December 16, 2014, 11:58:22 am
A compendium of this years must read stories

http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/racist-swans-attack-students (http://www.buzzfeed.com/patricksmith/racist-swans-attack-students)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on December 18, 2014, 07:41:57 am
Phew!

(http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/B4_e-25CQAA0lLc.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on December 24, 2014, 02:51:27 pm
Grasmere had an 'earthquake' this morning

http://www.cumbriacrack.com/2014/12/24/earthquake-confirmed-grasmere/
Quote
The quake occurred at 8:21am with a magnitude of 2, at a depth of 13km

:facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on December 26, 2014, 11:30:33 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-30603434 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-30603434)

Sun shining through snow globe ignites fake reindeer food in Bournemouth.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: HTFB on December 28, 2014, 09:25:16 pm
Cardboard Ed Miliband taken hostage. (http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/11685621.Farce_at_County_Hall_as_cardboard_cut_out_of_Ed_Miliband_is__taken_hostage_/)

I fear that this conflict will only escalate until they can determine whether their particular cardboard Ed Miliband is the real one.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 28, 2014, 09:28:29 pm
Sun shining through snow globe ignites fake reindeer food in Bournemouth.

To be fair, that's a rare but under-appreciated fire risk that could do with more publicity.  See also: magnifying mirrors and other household optical devices that really shouldn't be left on windowsills (or where they might focus the sun's rays on a cardboard Ed Milliband).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on December 28, 2014, 09:56:01 pm
Sun shining through snow globe ignites fake reindeer food in Bournemouth.

To be fair, that's a rare but under-appreciated fire risk that could do with more publicity.  See also: magnifying mirrors and other household optical devices that really shouldn't be left on windowsills (or where they might focus the sun's rays on a cardboard Ed Milliband).

Indeed, but fake reindeer food...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on December 28, 2014, 09:57:43 pm
Sun shining through snow globe ignites fake reindeer food in Bournemouth.

To be fair, that's a rare but under-appreciated fire risk that could do with more publicity.  See also: magnifying mirrors and other household optical devices that really shouldn't be left on windowsills (or where they might focus the sun's rays on a cardboard Ed Milliband).

Indeed, but fake reindeer food...

I know. Why do fake reindeer need food? :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on December 29, 2014, 02:13:46 pm
Phew!

(http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/B4_e-25CQAA0lLc.jpg)

 :thumbsup:

(if this thread was a competition ...)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on December 30, 2014, 03:11:52 pm
There was excitement in Hinkley (https://twitter.com/sanglesey/status/549924139667320833?s=09) earlier this year.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 08, 2015, 12:10:01 am
Revellers re-model Camden's Primrose Hill to look more like Birmingham's (http://www.camdennewjournal.com/Primrose-Hill-wrecked)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on January 08, 2015, 01:14:11 am
Revellers re-model Camden's Primrose Hill to look more like Birmingham's (http://www.camdennewjournal.com/Primrose-Hill-wrecked)

Partner went there and returned pissed off and, unlike many, not pissed.
He had a horrible time and told me all about it.
Many times.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 09, 2015, 06:39:30 pm
Bus without amusing graphic in route sign taken out of service after window broken by tree. (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/ashford/news/no-devils-luck-for-the-6281/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on January 12, 2015, 04:36:14 pm
Police hope fried egg will solve shed break-in mystery (http://www.itv.com/news/2015-01-12/police-hope-fried-egg-will-solve-shed-break-in-mystery/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on January 12, 2015, 04:58:26 pm
Alimentary my dear Watson!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 21, 2015, 08:07:41 pm
Wheelie bin not given parking ticket in Carmarthen (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-west-wales-30913291)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on January 22, 2015, 12:53:42 pm
Dead mouse in popping corn.

Supermarket in story is the closest to my abode (but I eschew Tesco for Sainsbury's. I have my standards...)

http://www.london24.com/news/quirky-london/eurgh_dead_mouse_found_in_bag_of_tesco_popcorn_1_3926136 (http://www.london24.com/news/quirky-london/eurgh_dead_mouse_found_in_bag_of_tesco_popcorn_1_3926136)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on January 23, 2015, 12:03:29 pm
I found ET in my garden fence....

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/ve-ET-garden-fence-Comberton-picture-gallery/story-25907920-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on January 23, 2015, 01:27:36 pm
Taking recycling to anew level...

http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/crime/flytipper-thought-farm-animals-would-eat-waste-1-6539340
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on January 23, 2015, 02:27:39 pm
Goats eat anything.

Occasionally unwisely.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on January 26, 2015, 03:55:32 pm
I didn't see this cos it was the day I went on holibobs:

Quote
Shefford cafe's singing polar bear probed over noise
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-30475642 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-30475642)

But it's all turned out right in the end...
Quote
Shefford cafe's singing polar bear 'not gagged' after probe
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-30932975 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-30932975)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on January 26, 2015, 04:19:07 pm
Goats eat anything.

Occasionally unwisely.

I have it on good authority that this is an old wive's tale.

They are actually quite picky about what they eat...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on January 26, 2015, 04:22:15 pm
Goats eat anything.

Occasionally unwisely.

I have it on good authority that this is an old wive's tale.

They are actually quite picky about what they eat...
They eat anything. They eat your clothing if you stand still for too long, they eat almost any vegetation. They also have a digestion that can cope.

There are companies in the USA making use of this to eliminate invasive species, nice vid about it on bbc last week.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on January 26, 2015, 04:32:34 pm
Goats eat anything.

Occasionally unwisely.

I have it on good authority that this is an old wive's tale.

They are actually quite picky about what they eat...
They eat anything. They eat your clothing if you stand still for too long, they eat almost any vegetation. They also have a digestion that can cope.

There are companies in the USA making use of this to eliminate invasive species, nice vid about it on bbc last week.
[/quote
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on January 26, 2015, 04:41:37 pm
Goats eat anything.

Occasionally unwisely.

I have it on good authority that this is an old wive's tale.

They are actually quite picky about what they eat...
They eat anything. They eat your clothing if you stand still for too long, they eat almost any vegetation. They also have a digestion that can cope.

There are companies in the USA making use of this to eliminate invasive species, nice vid about it on bbc last week.



Sorry about that.

Mr Charly is correct about the bastards eating clothing, but not the standing still bit. I used to live near a family that seemed to belong in Transylvania rather than Gwynedd. They kept goats, which they used to take for walks in the afternoons; the flock would spread out across the road. This was bad enough, leading to scary moments on skis and bike when returning to the village. On the worst occasion I was walking and couldn't easily get through; one of the stinky bastards grabbed the crotch of my trousers and started chewing. Has anyone tried yo wrestle a goat? They're strong buggers. Fortunately one of the alleged goatherds set about it with a big stick... Eventually, it let go.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on January 27, 2015, 09:06:22 am
Goatse in Gwynnedd?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on January 27, 2015, 10:09:04 pm
I'm posting this link twice, it's so good.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/11739248.Takeaway_roasted_after_putting__Aborigines__on_veggie_pizza/?ref=ar

 ;D ;D ;D

Also in Spelling that Makes You Cringe".

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on January 28, 2015, 06:23:28 pm
http://www.itv.com/news/border/story/2015-01-28/the-printer-powered-by-peddling-pupils/

Peddling what you might wonder :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on January 28, 2015, 06:38:55 pm
Peddling children by the looks of it.    :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on January 28, 2015, 06:44:26 pm
Peddling children by the looks of it.    :o

Well, if you can't send them down the mines or up chimneys anymore...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on January 28, 2015, 07:12:10 pm
Peddling children by the looks of it.    :o

Well, if you can't send them down the mines or up chimneys anymore...
Woah - lets put the breaks on that idea right now.   :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on January 29, 2015, 05:30:40 pm
Reality hits Painswick (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/11758398.Shoppers_get_their_knickers_in_a_twist_over__lingerie_shop__in_Painswick/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on February 03, 2015, 08:15:32 am
Loo door blew off in Silverdale (http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/11762170.Ladies__loo_door_blew_off_in_Silverdale/?ref=mr).  That's it, no more details or further explanation, sadly
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 04, 2015, 02:53:24 pm
Traffic misery for Birmingham commuters with gridlock hitting rush-hour routes (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/traffic-misery-birmingham-commuters-gridlock-8577011)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on February 04, 2015, 03:13:03 pm
http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/crime/burglars-steal-six-cans-of-coke-from-home-1-6545472

http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/more-news/serial-time-waster-breaks-asbo-1-6546564
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on February 04, 2015, 03:48:15 pm
Traffic misery for Birmingham commuters with gridlock hitting rush-hour routes (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/traffic-misery-birmingham-commuters-gridlock-8577011)

Particularly helpful picture captioned "Traffic queueing in Birmingham" to help those of us that were wondering what queueing traffic looks like.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 04, 2015, 04:22:52 pm
Traffic misery for Birmingham commuters with gridlock hitting rush-hour routes (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/traffic-misery-birmingham-commuters-gridlock-8577011)

Particularly helpful picture captioned "Traffic queueing in Birmingham" to help those of us that were wondering what queueing traffic looks like.

It looks a lot like Birmingham.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: davelodwig on February 05, 2015, 10:37:51 am
Traffic misery for Birmingham commuters with gridlock hitting rush-hour routes (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/traffic-misery-birmingham-commuters-gridlock-8577011)

Particularly helpful picture captioned "Traffic queueing in Birmingham" to help those of us that were wondering what queueing traffic looks like.

It looks a lot like Birmingham.

That bit always looks like that, as its used by people who don't understand indicating and getting in lane.

D.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on February 05, 2015, 10:39:33 am
You mean it's used by drivers? :P
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on February 12, 2015, 05:11:20 pm
This story is newsworthy.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-31439736 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-31439736)
'Man takes shower naked' is not.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 23, 2015, 06:35:39 pm
For every simple problem there's a solution that's clear, complex and wrong:  http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/tiny-pony-gets-periscope-help-8701564
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on February 24, 2015, 07:37:38 pm
A notification from facebook: Apparently 'trending' is a story from Wigan.

"Man who had sex with a postbox is found dead. Paul Bennett was found guilty of the lewd act last month"

You couldn't make it up . . . (http://metro.co.uk/2015/02/24/man-who-had-sex-with-a-postbox-is-found-dead-behind-a-chinese-restaurant-5077200/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on February 24, 2015, 07:57:13 pm
Meanwhile, in more mundane news:-
Quote
A spokesperson for the fire and rescue  said: "One appliance from Honiton was mobilised to assist with scene safety at a road traffic collision involving one vehicle and a wall."
No-one was hurt.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 25, 2015, 03:58:12 pm
For every simple problem there's a solution that's clear, complex and wrong:  http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/tiny-pony-gets-periscope-help-8701564
Quote
But there are big plans on the horizon for vertically-challenged Pedro, as the Ebony Horse Club is eventually saving up to transport him to a specially adapted stable.
Rather than just cutting the door down?
And I wonder how the pony copes with finding that all the tiny people he sees in the green box are actually normal humans? It must upset his equilibrium.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on February 26, 2015, 11:56:33 am
For every simple problem there's a solution that's clear, complex and wrong:  http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/tiny-pony-gets-periscope-help-8701564
Quote
But there are big plans on the horizon for vertically-challenged Pedro, as the Ebony Horse Club is eventually saving up to transport him to a specially adapted stable.
Rather than just cutting the door down?
And I wonder how the pony copes with finding that all the tiny people he sees in the green box are actually normal humans? It must upset his equilibrium.
Cutting the door down would be hard - but it would be pretty easy to put a mesh panel in there. why did producing a rectangular box require a 3D printer? What's wrong with 4 bits of ply?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 26, 2015, 01:51:35 pm
why did producing a rectangular box require a 3D printer? What's wrong with 4 bits of ply?

Fairly sure it didn't.  The company do 3D printing, but they also do CNC cutting of sheet materials and stuff - their main business is shop displays.  But "3D printing" is a buzzword so presumably the reporter latched onto it.

I dread to think how long it would take to 3D print something that size.  The periscope, I mean, not the pony.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 27, 2015, 10:39:18 am
Why would it be so difficult to cut down a wooden door? Or perhaps better, replace it with a smaller one?

I'm wondering now if the prisms in the periscope are equilateral.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on February 27, 2015, 10:58:48 am
Why would it be so difficult to cut down a wooden door? Or perhaps better, replace it with a smaller one?

I'm wondering now if the prisms in the periscope are equilateral.
Not a wooden door, it is a metal, pipe framed door with wooden slats.  Very easy to remove some slats and bolt/weld on some heavy mesh.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on February 27, 2015, 11:03:29 am
Wouldn't that let the draught in?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on February 27, 2015, 11:06:42 am
no, draught horses need much bigger doors
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 27, 2015, 11:30:14 am
No, draught horses don't need Dawes, they need Holdsworth.
(http://velobase.com/VeloImages/Headbadges/4294569E-4281-4A84-99EE-039554D1737D.jpeg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 27, 2015, 11:32:08 am
Ok, so it's not quite a draught horse. Actually, it looks a bit like a stripeless zebra with that mane.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on February 27, 2015, 12:04:39 pm
It's a disabled unicorn.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 27, 2015, 01:05:39 pm
It's an Islahorse.  Cnoc, by the look of it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on March 03, 2015, 08:15:34 pm
(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-tl3QN6a9UPY/VPYWBtl4QFI/AAAAAAAAIp4/wsa1_0L4cMw/s512/GiantLamb.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 07, 2015, 08:22:39 pm
http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2015/03/05/traffic-fear-over-walking-pizza-ads-in-telford/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 07, 2015, 08:53:42 pm
(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/640x360/p01hxp08.jpg)

?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on March 07, 2015, 09:43:28 pm
There was a fleeting billboard during the past week for the Southend Echo:

FOOD BANK RUNS OUT OF FOOD.

 :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on March 07, 2015, 10:03:21 pm
(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/640x360/p01hxp08.jpg)

?
I say, get a move on, chop chop
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on March 13, 2015, 10:23:32 am
Builders don't know which way round to mark up a clock face.

http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/news/comic-relief-day-calamity-chesters-8831848 (http://www.chesterchronicle.co.uk/news/comic-relief-day-calamity-chesters-8831848)

To be fair I walked passed it yesterday without noticing (I didn't consciously look at it)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on March 13, 2015, 11:17:48 am
Billboard of the Blackmore Gazette last Monday:

"MISSING CAT RETURNS HOME AFTER 126 DAYS!"

Sadly, I didn't notice when I was in Blackmore a month ago whether the headline said "CAT MISSING FOR 98 DAYS AND COUNTING!"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 13, 2015, 08:49:59 pm
The photo shows the shocking extent of football hooliganism after the Highworth Town/Tadcaster Albion game, with literally tens of fans involved.

http://www.harrogateadvertiser.co.uk/news/crime/punches-thrown-as-violence-mars-tadcaster-albion-s-fa-vase-exit-1-7145088
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on March 22, 2015, 12:32:14 pm
By contrast, football hooliganism and associated violence have closed the road outside our house for a significant police operation. I reckon someone must have died for that sort of investigation. Fortunately Mrs. Wow and I are in Powys. Dez reported back. Our house is in one of the BBC pictures.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-32006464 refers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on March 22, 2015, 03:48:34 pm
That's good to see your local is a proper English pub, Wow.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on March 26, 2015, 12:35:20 pm
http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Jeremy-Clarkson-fired-just-years-aftyer-Gear/story-26230188-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on March 26, 2015, 12:40:58 pm
http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Jeremy-Clarkson-fired-just-years-aftyer-Gear/story-26230188-detail/story.html
And it turns out they were spoofing local newspapers
http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Clarkson-Cheddar-got-joke-didn-t/story-26236516-detail/story.html (http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Clarkson-Cheddar-got-joke-didn-t/story-26236516-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on March 26, 2015, 01:49:48 pm
I was more interested in this one...
http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Rare-stripeless-badger-bite-bum-toilet/story-26222386-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on March 26, 2015, 02:00:49 pm
That's good to see your local is a proper English pub, Wow.
But, in typical pub-business fashion, a pub at the far end of what appears to be the London Tilbury & Southend Railway (bought out by the Midland, later grouped into the LMS) has a sign depicting a GWR loco  ::-):facepalm:

I am *not* an anorak, I tell you
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 26, 2015, 02:05:00 pm
I was more interested in this one...
http://www.cheddarvalleygazette.co.uk/Rare-stripeless-badger-bite-bum-toilet/story-26222386-detail/story.html

Are they sure that's not a womble?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Dibdib on March 28, 2015, 01:35:24 pm
From the Croydon Advertiser:

(click to show/hide)

(source (https://twitter.com/GoodNewsHackney/status/581793030572769280))
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 28, 2015, 09:03:08 pm
http://www.worcesternews.co.uk/news/11886912.Tea_towel_fire_in_Malvern/

Hopefully not a Marsh Gibbon one...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on March 29, 2015, 08:42:00 am
Like the comments  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 09, 2015, 08:07:19 am
I get a daily email from Harrow Times, giving the local headlines.
This murder http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32224295 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32224295) occurred just over two miles south of where I am sitting.http://goo.gl/maps/3TWcw (http://goo.gl/maps/3TWcw)
There is no mention of this event.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PaulF on April 15, 2015, 09:47:41 pm
From the Oxford Mail Arson Field Fire Could be Arson

http://www.oxfordmail.co.uk/news/12891833.Arson_field_fire_could_be_arson/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on April 20, 2015, 08:24:59 am
Womble destroyed by fire

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/12899584.Womble_destroyed_in_fire/?ref=mr
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 20, 2015, 09:50:52 am
Child's dropped toy is found and returned.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-32371730 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-32371730)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on April 28, 2015, 12:15:40 pm
Warning rogue ice cream vans !

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/12917692.Warning__Bogus_ice_cream_vans_reported_near_schools_and_beaches/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on April 28, 2015, 12:22:40 pm
That's good to see your local is a proper English pub, Wow.
But, in typical pub-business fashion, a pub at the far end of what appears to be the London Tilbury & Southend Railway (bought out by the Midland, later grouped into the LMS) has a sign depicting a GWR loco  ::-):facepalm:

I am *not* an anorak, I tell you

You are right, you are not an anorak. Our local station, Prittlewell, is not on the LTSR, which runs into Fenchurch Street from Southend Central, but on the Great Eastern line from Liverpool to Southend Victoria. Southend borough has no fewer than 9 main line railway stations and a 10th, Southend Airport, that was largely paid for by Southend Borough Council, despite it being outside the borough. People who fly into Southend and then leave by train almost invariably head towards London.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: David Martin on April 28, 2015, 12:28:17 pm
Where do those who work at Southend airport live, and does the rail link improve the employment prospects therin due to an increase in passenger numbers?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 30, 2015, 10:40:37 am
Dry cleaner adopts partridge in That Larndonn.
http://www.camdennewjournal.com/partridge (http://www.camdennewjournal.com/partridge)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 30, 2015, 10:44:21 am
Womble destroyed by fire

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/12899584.Womble_destroyed_in_fire/?ref=mr
I'm glad it wasn't Arch!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on April 30, 2015, 12:34:12 pm
Another week of non-stop excitement in Kendal:

http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/12919818.Express_lanes_introduced_at_Kendal_supermarket

Morrisons are to introduce a 10 items or fewer queue..................

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on April 30, 2015, 05:46:18 pm
Another week of non-stop excitement in Kendal:

http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/12919818.Express_lanes_introduced_at_Kendal_supermarket

Morrisons are to introduce a 10 items or fewer queue..................


Ee, that's a good idea! It's a wonder that it hasn't been done before.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on May 03, 2015, 11:42:48 am
Dorset Loves Knobs!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-32549090 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-32549090)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on May 05, 2015, 02:26:04 pm
Whitby councillor stands down:

http://www.whitbygazette.co.uk/news/local/whitby-s-extraterrestrial-town-councillor-calls-it-a-day-1-7211759

Quote
Mr Parkes was elected to Whitby Town Council in 2012. He later hit the headlines when he claimed his mother was an alien and that he had experienced numerous extraterrestrial encounters, including one in which he lost his virginity to an alien at the age of just five.

Earlier this year he attracted national media attention once again when he claimed a race of alien reptiles called ‘the Nordics’ were to blame for the ongoing crisis in the Ukraine as they were advising Russian president Vladimir Putin on foreign policy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 05, 2015, 03:06:49 pm
The second paragraph is Clearly Bollocks.  The aliens in question are Reptilians, not Nordics, as any fule kno.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: marcusjb on May 05, 2015, 03:25:52 pm
http://www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/12931611.Wind_damages__tourist_attraction__phone_box_in_Richmond/

This is the stuff that matters here in Richmond Upon Thames......
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on May 05, 2015, 03:35:36 pm
I think Cheltenham can trump that.

http://www.gloucestershireecho.co.uk/Strong-overnight-winds-damage-tree-Cheltenham/story-26441310-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on May 05, 2015, 03:36:03 pm
My alien mother is Danish. Does that make her a Nordic?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on May 06, 2015, 10:43:59 am
Only if she is a small Grey.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on May 07, 2015, 11:39:00 am
Whitehaven Pensioner Bitten in "Nasty" Goose Attack
 (http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/whitehaven-pensioner-bitten-in-nasty-goose-attack-1.1210283)
Quote
A 71-YEAR-OLD woman was bitten in a “nasty attack” by a goose on Whitehaven harbour.

Visitor Mary Jones sustained a bruise on the top of her thigh in the attack, says her friend Ru Lochlea.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on May 09, 2015, 02:42:58 pm
Exciting new shop opens (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/local_sponsored_content/12939663.An_exciting_new_shop_has_opened_in_York_city_centre/?ref=mr&lp=9)
I can barely contain my excitement ! It sells picture frames FFS.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on May 09, 2015, 03:31:23 pm
Exciting new shop opens (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/local_sponsored_content/12939663.An_exciting_new_shop_has_opened_in_York_city_centre/?ref=mr&lp=9)
I can barley contain my excitement ! It sells picture frames FFS.

To be fair they claim it's an "amazing range".

Of picture frames.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on May 10, 2015, 05:19:54 pm
and marching up to the top of the hill and marching back down again does become a bit boring......
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on May 12, 2015, 09:50:54 pm
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/12944601.Swarm_of_bees_cover_bike_in_Southend_town_centre/?ref=mr&lp=2

A better class of person just happens to turn up in Southend, obviously.  :P

Edit: I am remarkably angry having read the rest of that article and the btl comments. It seems some utter moron went into Sainsbury's for two tins of aerosol flyspray and killed the bees, a protected species. If I'd suspected anything like that was going to happen I would have gone and collected them myself.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on May 13, 2015, 08:23:42 am
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/12944601.Swarm_of_bees_cover_bike_in_Southend_town_centre/?ref=mr&lp=2

A better class of person just happens to turn up in Southend, obviously.  :P

Edit: I am remarkably angry having read the rest of that article and the btl comments. It seems some utter moron went into Sainsbury's for two tins of aerosol flyspray and killed the bees, a protected species. If I'd suspected anything like that was going to happen I would have gone and collected them myself.
the end of the article says
Quote
They were later gathered up and taken to Leigh by Ann Cushion of the Southend division of Essex Beekeepers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on May 15, 2015, 06:54:01 pm
Exciting new shop opens (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/local_sponsored_content/12939663.An_exciting_new_shop_has_opened_in_York_city_centre/?ref=mr&lp=9)
I can barley contain my excitement ! It sells picture frames FFS.

To be fair they claim it's an "amazing range".

Of picture frames.
and they offer a mount-cutting service! :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on May 15, 2015, 06:55:49 pm
Fine cyclists (for not using a cycle track) (http://www.oxfordtimes.co.uk/news/opinions/letters/12951106.Fine_cyclists/?ref=mr&lp=4)
Remarkably coherent (for a babbling idiot).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on May 15, 2015, 11:54:24 pm
More of the same, from Southend.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/12950785.Police_crackdown_on_cyclists__a_success_/?ref=mr&lp=19
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on May 21, 2015, 05:19:19 pm
Just had this Tweet from Brent Council:

Brent Council ‏@Brent_Council  1m1 minute ago
Due to an unexplored WW2 bomb Brent Civic Centre and surrounding buildings have been evacuated. Please avoid the area.

Not sure whether this should go here or on grammar/spelling that makes you cringe.

Amazed they can have a beumb inna brand new building that's been open only a couple of years!

Unexplored bomb...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on May 24, 2015, 11:38:48 am
Sex tape left on bus:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/12968595.Cheating_husband_leaves_mistress_sex_tape_on_North_Yorkshire_bus/

Oops.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on May 25, 2015, 12:46:43 am
Not the Brimstone!
http://www.westerngazette.co.uk/Keen-cyclists-descend-Somerton-Bank-Holiday/story-26563583-detail/story.html (http://www.westerngazette.co.uk/Keen-cyclists-descend-Somerton-Bank-Holiday/story-26563583-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on May 26, 2015, 08:25:34 pm
Filename tooltip causes multi-car crash and severe typo on the M2 (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/sittingbourne/sport/long-queues-building-after-m2-37473/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 26, 2015, 10:48:51 pm
Is "closude" some hateful neologism that needs its own thread or just a rather dull typo?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on May 27, 2015, 02:43:45 pm
Wanker in a BMW (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/12956756.Man_arrested_on_suspicion_of_masturbating_inside_a__car_in_Cirencester/?ref=mr&lp=5)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on May 28, 2015, 09:27:03 am
Wanker in a BMW (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/12956756.Man_arrested_on_suspicion_of_masturbating_inside_a__car_in_Cirencester/?ref=mr&lp=5)

It was not me.  I wasn't anywhere near Cirencester....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on May 29, 2015, 01:17:55 pm
Quote
9 bizarre World Records broken in Bedfordshire

http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/9-bizarre-World-Records-broken-Bedfordshire/story-26596620-detail/story.html (http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/9-bizarre-World-Records-broken-Bedfordshire/story-26596620-detail/story.html)

Well, 7, actually. Unless I've been wrong all these years and Silverstone really is in Beds ::-). And Number 9 has the most tenuous link to the county and shouldn't be included.

Number 2 certainly qualifies for Motorised Moron :o.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on May 29, 2015, 10:52:39 pm
Swindon...

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/12890701.Bassett_man_sent_video_of_himself_having_sex_with_dog_to_girlfriend__court_hears/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on May 30, 2015, 02:46:21 am
Not a Bassett Hound, it seems.

But, yeah, Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Salvatore on May 30, 2015, 04:33:14 am
Unless I've been wrong all these years and Silverstone really is in Beds ::-).

I believe the county boundary passes through the motor-racing circuit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on May 30, 2015, 06:29:07 am
Swindon...

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/12890701.Bassett_man_sent_video_of_himself_having_sex_with_dog_to_girlfriend__court_hears/
Good headline (on the assumption its a man from Wooton Bassett, its quite witty!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 30, 2015, 10:48:48 am
Unless I've been wrong all these years and Silverstone really is in Beds ::-).

I believe the county boundary passes through the motor-racing circuit.

But the county boundary in those parts is the one separating Bucks and Northants.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 01, 2015, 02:23:03 pm
Quote
Police said cattle were not believed to be involved in this incident. So far this year, no collisions involving cattle have been reported.
http://www.stroudlife.co.uk/car-crash-busy-junction-near-Stroud/story-26598303-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on June 01, 2015, 02:33:33 pm
Sadly cows being killed on the Common is a too frequently reported story here.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 02, 2015, 09:35:44 am
There was a plan to put luminous collars on all the cows. That was back in the '80s.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on June 02, 2015, 10:08:18 am
"The black cow came from nowhere, it just jumped out at me" is a regular refrain from taxi drivers with crushed bonnets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 02, 2015, 10:14:17 am
Elephants (domesticated ones, in forestry, military and temples) walking along roads are a frequent casualty on India's roads. Dawn seems to be peak-elephant hitting time.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on June 02, 2015, 01:10:49 pm
Woman in Birmingham jailed after making 'loud sex noises' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-32961127)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on June 02, 2015, 01:15:56 pm
Yes, I had heard that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on June 02, 2015, 01:30:48 pm
Woman in Birmingham jailed after making 'loud sex noises' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-32961127)

The great thing about that one is the photo.  They obviously couldn't be arsed to do anything more complicated than gack an image from Streetview, but it gives an erroneous impression that Small Heath is all KFCs and queues for roundabouts.  I know for a fact that Small Heath also has a McDonald's.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on June 05, 2015, 02:53:30 pm
Wake me up before you go go (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/i-trying-wake-boyfriend-up-9397311)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: CAMRAMan on June 05, 2015, 04:21:40 pm
Sadly not on the website, but a Kenilworth garage was burgled and they got away with the biscuit tin.  Mayhem.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on June 05, 2015, 06:42:44 pm
Wake me up before you go go (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/i-trying-wake-boyfriend-up-9397311)
Alarming
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on June 05, 2015, 06:50:08 pm
Sadly not on the website, but a Kenilworth garage was burgled and they got away with the biscuit tin.  Mayhem.

Crumbs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on June 05, 2015, 07:08:04 pm
That takes the biscuits.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on June 05, 2015, 07:56:05 pm
Sounds a bit jammy dodger.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on June 09, 2015, 10:10:33 am
Do you know any women wearing a blue rabbit onesie with Evelyn tattooed on their hand?

If so Preston police would like a chat

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/rabbit-onesie-minions-burglaries-hunt-9412281 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/rabbit-onesie-minions-burglaries-hunt-9412281)

"She is described as white, aged approximately mid 40’s with dyed red/ purplish coloured hair that was described as greasy.
She was wearing a blue rabbit onesie, a yellow Minions rucksack, a dark blue puffa jacket and she was carrying a black sleeping bag with her.
She appeared gaunt with scabs on her face and a tattoo along the side of her hand of the name ‘Evelyn’."

Should be one hell of an identity parade.

Also a desperate burglary

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/doner-meat-thieves-raid-wallasey-9414609 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/doner-meat-thieves-raid-wallasey-9414609)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on June 09, 2015, 11:16:25 am
Meat raffle in the pub down the road?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on June 12, 2015, 10:11:08 am
http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/more-news/shoppers-horror-as-still-pooping-dog-runs-amok-in-shopping-centre-1-6793800
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on June 13, 2015, 12:43:15 am
Aaah, the only newspaper which has ever put my photo on the front page.

Well, I say "my" photo, but there were quite a few others also in it, & although I was at the front, so were some of the others, & it was really just luck that I ended up near the middle, & I was only 12 . . . 






Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on June 13, 2015, 12:40:58 pm
(http://www.alfiecat.co.uk/yetacf/IMG_7106.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on June 13, 2015, 01:00:30 pm
Do you get different change with Old Money?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 13, 2015, 02:04:00 pm
St Matthew's Court is what used to be my primary school.
Fact, even if you didn't care!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on June 13, 2015, 02:42:09 pm
She would have been 103 on July 6, which year? 2023?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on June 13, 2015, 03:05:33 pm
Wake me up before you go go (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/i-trying-wake-boyfriend-up-9397311)

"Hospitality waitress" fnaar
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on June 15, 2015, 12:29:08 pm
In a more distant province I was browsing the local newspaper as I waited to fly home and

http://mwnation.com/man-wets-himself-at-bank/

the graphic goes on to explain, in case the headline left you with any doubts.

Mind you, if you've ever dealt with African bureaucracy, you'd sympathise.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on June 16, 2015, 05:37:13 pm
Sweets and knitted hats stolen from Canna's shop

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-33151886
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on June 18, 2015, 08:55:28 pm
Exeter woman claims to have built time machine in her garage and is searching Gumtree for a travel companion
 (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Exeter-woman-claims-built-time-machine-garage/story-26699707-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on June 18, 2015, 10:09:31 pm
She should just get in it, go forward a few years then see who is with her.

Then go back to now and find that person.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on June 18, 2015, 10:59:39 pm
Girl traps foot in toy robot in Oldbury (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-33185178)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jenhunt on June 19, 2015, 09:43:05 am
not quite the provinces.. more like radio 2 yesterday.

apparently a tiger was shot dead AND Killed by marksmen after attacking a person....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on June 19, 2015, 11:01:53 am
Can't be too careful with these dangerous zoo animals ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on June 19, 2015, 07:25:14 pm
Exeter woman claims to have built time machine in her garage and is searching Gumtree for a travel companion
 (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/Exeter-woman-claims-built-time-machine-garage/story-26699707-detail/story.html)
Isnt this the plot of a just-released movie?

[I'm serious BTW!]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on June 23, 2015, 11:52:11 pm
Woman injured in supermarket basket collision (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/13348540.Woman_injured_in_supermarket_basket_collision/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on June 29, 2015, 01:06:05 pm
(http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-12/1/11/enhanced/webdr05/edit-8676-1417451902-28.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on June 29, 2015, 03:12:13 pm
I think that wins the thread!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on July 03, 2015, 07:10:24 am

"A man who illegally sold tissues on a train appears in this week’s round-up from Aylesbury Magistrates’ Court.

MENIX SALI, 40, of Braemar Avenue, London. On April 28 in Aylesbury, while on a railway and without the written permission of the operator, sold tissues. Pleaded guilty. Fined £100, criminal courts charge £150, costs £85, victim surcharge £20."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on July 03, 2015, 12:37:56 pm
Victim surcharge? Was there a licensed tissue seller who was undercut or something?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on July 03, 2015, 01:24:07 pm
Victim surcharge? Was there a licensed tissue seller who was undercut or something?

Just "one of those things I think. Another case, where are guy caused an accident and killed his best mate who was in the back of his van. Mates wife pleads his case and ask's that he doesn't go to jail. Guy pleads guilty at first opportunity, is distraught over mates death. Gets sent on a "restoratative justice" course as part of his punishment. WTF?  :-\
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 03, 2015, 01:52:42 pm
Victim surcharge? Was there a licensed tissue seller who was undercut or something?

It's not case-sepcific, but a general tax on being a criminal that goes into a kitty that funds victim support organisations.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on July 03, 2015, 03:58:19 pm
Local Parish council decides to moan about Sportive - two months after the event ???
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/home/bad-behaviour-overshadows-cycling-event-1.1221205
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on July 03, 2015, 04:13:17 pm
They meet every two months.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on July 07, 2015, 03:54:18 pm
Bee Swarm on Locked Bicycle (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/bee_swarm_on_locked_bicycle_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_4133372)

I'm not sure why the lockedness of the bicycle was important.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 07, 2015, 09:36:35 pm
Video shows bus stop argument between motorist and bus driver after he blocks her in (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/video-shows-bus-stop-argument-9602461)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 08, 2015, 09:06:44 am
Video shows bus stop argument between motorist and bus driver after he blocks her in (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/video-shows-bus-stop-argument-9602461)
He wins the super twat thread as well. What an utter cock.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on July 08, 2015, 09:57:01 am
Bee Swarm on Locked Bicycle (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/bee_swarm_on_locked_bicycle_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_4133372)

I'm not sure why the lockedness of the bicycle was important.

It prevented the slightly more unusual "BEE SWARM CAUGHT STEALING BICYCLE" headline.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 08, 2015, 10:35:12 am
Bee Swarm on Locked Bicycle (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/bee_swarm_on_locked_bicycle_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_4133372)

I'm not sure why the lockedness of the bicycle was important.
OTP?  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on July 12, 2015, 07:58:41 am
Not so much the story itself ... (http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/cleveland-police-cordon-area-stockton-9577373)

As the quote, in full, from the 'bystander'.  I'm still chuckling.

Quote
A woman walking her dog in the area, who did not want to be named, said: “I don’t know what’s happened.

“The first I knew about it was when my son came home from college and asked ‘Have you been out with the dog yet?’ I said no not yet and he said it was all taped off by police.

“I had a look on Facebook and that but haven’t seen anything about it.”

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on July 13, 2015, 08:03:10 pm
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Mini-driver-smashes-fish-van-pleasuring-sex-toy/story-26891651-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on July 14, 2015, 11:50:02 am
Couple's suburban banananana plant does not die.
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13410099.Couple_go_bananas_after_discovering_tropical_fruit_growing_in_their_back_garden/?ref=eb (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13410099.Couple_go_bananas_after_discovering_tropical_fruit_growing_in_their_back_garden/?ref=eb)

The pedant in me disputes that this plant was 'discovered' by the couple.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on July 14, 2015, 12:30:58 pm
Couple's suburban banananana plant does not die.
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13410099.Couple_go_bananas_after_discovering_tropical_fruit_growing_in_their_back_garden/?ref=eb (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13410099.Couple_go_bananas_after_discovering_tropical_fruit_growing_in_their_back_garden/?ref=eb)

The pedant in me disputes that this plant was 'discovered' by the couple.

I don't think it's the plant they "discovered" it's the fact it is bearing fruit...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on July 14, 2015, 01:02:27 pm
It's certainly a magnificent triffid!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on July 14, 2015, 01:06:04 pm
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/Mini-driver-smashes-fish-van-pleasuring-sex-toy/story-26891651-detail/story.html

Glad to see that ended (relatively) well.

This one didn't:

http://www.crawleynews.co.uk/Driver-accused-causing-death-Lisa-Watling-crash/story-26893064-detail/story.html (http://www.crawleynews.co.uk/Driver-accused-causing-death-Lisa-Watling-crash/story-26893064-detail/story.html)
Quote
“He said on the return journey Miss Watling said she was feeling horny and started doing things she shouldn’t have been.

“He said she put her bottom on the dashboard and went to climb across him but stressed while he didn’t have a full view of the road that he was in control.

“He told police that he did not view her behaviour as being sexual in any way and that he did not engage with her.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: fboab on July 14, 2015, 01:17:07 pm
Normal for Norfolk, alive and well.
 I couldn't knit a whole one, either (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-norfolk-33468644)

I think we may have to visit.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on July 14, 2015, 06:43:55 pm
How far is Cirencester from Swindon?
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2015/07/14/woman-masturbating-with-rampant-rabbit-vibrator-crashes-mini-cooper-stationary-fish-wagon_n_7790910.html?1436864202
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on July 14, 2015, 09:01:45 pm
No link, because the online version of our local rag hasn't published it, but the headline today is

Quote
MP: MOVE THE HOMELESS OFF OUR BEACH

That MP is the very unlovely James Duddridge. Since when the beach stopped being a public place I don't know.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on July 15, 2015, 11:51:54 am
Exciting sandals. (http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Mum-Sophie-Grantham-gets-surprise-addition-used/story-26905517-detail/story.html)

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on July 15, 2015, 01:00:40 pm
Exciting sandals. (http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Mum-Sophie-Grantham-gets-surprise-addition-used/story-26905517-detail/story.html)

(click to show/hide)
Quote
The mum-of-two has refused to touch the shoes or the five-inch purple Durex vibrator, because the kinky love instrument appeared to have been used.

So why does every picture show her holding the offending article?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tom_e on July 15, 2015, 01:07:09 pm
Hey, we need a picture here - what's the story about?  Vibrator, woman.  Right, picture of vibrator and woman.  Hold on, we've got 30 words here, the readers may be struggling a bit, grab us another picture.  Vibrator, woman, picture of.  Right, where were we?  Oh yes, a few more words.  Hard work this.  Any chance of another picture, so the reader will follow the story?  Go on then: picture of vibrator and woman.  And we have a response from Amazon.  Pretty tedious, TBH.  Go on, give us a last picture of vibrator and woman to break that up.  Ta.  I'm wasted in this job.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on July 15, 2015, 01:48:30 pm
Also the paper only gave one side of the story.

Somewhere there is an Amazon packer missing a vibrator and a pubic hair.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on July 15, 2015, 02:15:33 pm
Exciting sandals. (http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Mum-Sophie-Grantham-gets-surprise-addition-used/story-26905517-detail/story.html)

(click to show/hide)
Quote
The mum-of-two has refused to touch the shoes or the five-inch purple Durex vibrator, because the kinky love instrument appeared to have been used.

So why does every picture show her holding the offending article?
While wearing rubber gloves.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on July 15, 2015, 04:26:22 pm
I wish I could get batteries to last that long.

Did I just type that out loud?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: fboab on July 17, 2015, 01:38:34 pm
And you thought they were a bit limited in Norfolk. Welcome to Suffolk (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/amateur-robbers-target-sperm-bank/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on July 17, 2015, 01:51:21 pm
And you thought they were a bit limited in Norfolk. Welcome to Suffolk (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/amateur-robbers-target-sperm-bank/)

Hmm

"Det Insp Hood said two men, aged 27 and 31, had been charged with attempted robbery and would appear before Ipswich magistrates in the morning. One was named locally last night as Jack Meoff."

The spirit of Viz is not dead, it seems.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tom_e on July 17, 2015, 02:23:42 pm
You know, I'm not entirely sure that website is legit.  If this wasn't suspicious enough:

Police Apache helicopter blows up vicarage (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/police-apache-helicopter-blows-up-vicarage/)

then this one kind of gives away the game entirely:

Women secretly find cycling MAMILs sexy (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/sport/women-secretly-find-cycling-mamils-sexy/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 17, 2015, 02:24:54 pm
Sssh!  The people from Norfolk haven't cottoned on yet, and they might hear you.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: fboab on July 17, 2015, 03:04:36 pm
You know, I'm not entirely sure that website is legit.  If this wasn't suspicious enough:

Police Apache helicopter blows up vicarage (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/news/police-apache-helicopter-blows-up-vicarage/)

then this one kind of gives away the game entirely:

Women secretly find cycling MAMILs sexy (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/sport/women-secretly-find-cycling-mamils-sexy/)

Next you'll be telling me this one isn't 'The Truth'
Keeping it 'Real' (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/farming/farmer-uses-sex-dolls-for-scarecrows/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 17, 2015, 08:16:51 pm
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on July 17, 2015, 08:22:30 pm
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)

Ignorance of SCIENCE at the most basic level is commonplace and worrisome.

HUGE sections of the public are totally clueless...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on July 18, 2015, 05:37:20 pm
Thatch roof blocks road. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-33559248 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-33559248)

Not really provinces but...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on July 18, 2015, 06:15:59 pm
Thats actually quite a good story!

Better still might be the one linked to further down:
"
Residents speak out against the effectiveness of Luton's sex
"

:O
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on July 21, 2015, 01:07:44 pm
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)
NO!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pancho on July 28, 2015, 10:01:31 pm
Video: Red Arrows cancel Portsmouth flypast

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/video-red-arrows-cancel-portsmouth-flypast-1-6867561
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on July 29, 2015, 11:32:20 am
The Whitehaven news is obviously so short of material that they are doing missing cat appeals: -

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/family-plead-for-help-finding-missing-cat-1.1223135
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 29, 2015, 11:52:11 am
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)

Ignorance of SCIENCE at the most basic level is commonplace and worrisome.

HUGE sections of the public are totally clueless...
Ok, so for the benefit of those of us who are chemically ignorant, the gas they are (hopefully) using is presumably nitorous oxide, N2O, 'laughing gas' and 'cream supplies', rather than for instance nitrogen dioxide, NO2? Or is the point something else? Wiki describes both those and many others as 'nitrogen oxide'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogen_oxide
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on July 29, 2015, 11:59:04 am
List of "restaurants" not coming to Redhill:

http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/restaurant-chains-coming-Redhill/story-27462816-detail/story.html (http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/restaurant-chains-coming-Redhill/story-27462816-detail/story.html)

Quote
Twitter account @RDHWatercolour tweeted: "@surreymirror I see Nandos as the first step to Redhill to greatness.

It's all happening...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 29, 2015, 01:24:23 pm
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)

Ignorance of SCIENCE at the most basic level is commonplace and worrisome.

HUGE sections of the public are totally clueless...
Ok, so for the benefit of those of us who are chemically ignorant, the gas they are (hopefully) using is presumably nitorous oxide, N2O, 'laughing gas' and 'cream supplies', rather than for instance nitrogen dioxide, NO2? Or is the point something else? Wiki describes both those and many others as 'nitrogen oxide'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogen_oxide

Then mean Liquid nitrogen (N2): toothy comestibles, for the flash-freezing of.  They actually got that right in the article.

Nitrogen oxides, of course, make up an excessive amount of Birmingham's atmosphere, due to 50 years of relentless fitting more cars in.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 29, 2015, 01:37:40 pm
Ah, I didn't actually read the article ( :facepalm:). I assumed they were using nitrous oxide for making soft bubbliness, mr whippy style.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on July 29, 2015, 05:41:26 pm
Probably the most appropriate failure to understand chemistry headline in the history of journalism:

First nitrogen oxide ice-cream parlour opens in Birmingham (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/food-drink-news/omg-desserts-small-heath-opens-9678857)

Ignorance of SCIENCE at the most basic level is commonplace and worrisome.

HUGE sections of the public are totally clueless...
Ok, so for the benefit of those of us who are chemically ignorant, the gas they are (hopefully) using is presumably nitorous oxide, N2O, 'laughing gas' and 'cream supplies', rather than for instance nitrogen dioxide, NO2? Or is the point something else? Wiki describes both those and many others as 'nitrogen oxide'. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogen_oxide

I am not sure.
I think they are using liquid nitrogen - N2, which is VERY VERY COLD. It's harmless if not cold, if there's adequate oxygen in the air and ventilation.

A liquefied gas expands ENORMOUSLY as it boils, which can also be dangerous.

Obviously N2O laughing gas, is not N2 nitrogen is not NO2 nitrogen dioxide, a nasty brown gas that forms nitric acid with water.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jakob W on July 30, 2015, 06:34:11 pm
LN2 is what you want for ice-cream making purposes; because it's so cold it flash-freezes your ice-cream mixture, giving very small ice crystals and a lovely smooooth texture.

Living in a house full of Imperial students, among them a PhD chemist, LN2 ice-cream was a staple of our parties. Quite how he managed to repeatedly transport a steaming dewar of liquid nitrogen from South Kensington to Putney on the bus without getting nicked - post 9/11 as well - I'm not entirely sure.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pancho on July 30, 2015, 07:03:13 pm
Hippie crack - just say N2O.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on August 03, 2015, 02:22:26 pm
Unclothed man rides bicycle.
http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/shocked-wildlife-photographer-captures-naked-9780190#ICID=FB-MEN-main (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/shocked-wildlife-photographer-captures-naked-9780190#ICID=FB-MEN-main)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on August 03, 2015, 07:36:45 pm
http://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/13526588.Trowbridge_resident_frustrated_at_overgrown_footpath__nightmare_/

I'm not sure how they got into our garden to take those photos, thobut...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pancho on August 03, 2015, 08:25:01 pm
Unclothed man rides bicycle.
http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/shocked-wildlife-photographer-captures-naked-9780190#ICID=FB-MEN-main (http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/shocked-wildlife-photographer-captures-naked-9780190#ICID=FB-MEN-main)

The photographer's quote is fun:

Quote
“I thought it was brilliant. It made me proud to be British.”

And so is the sub heading above links to related stories:

Quote
Want more nudity?

Moss Vale pub locals pose in the nude to raise money for charity

Police called to three naked men washing clothes in city centre fountain

Hundreds take part in Manchester's annual Naked Bike Ride
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on August 04, 2015, 12:40:51 pm
http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/13524797.Teenagers_get_lost_in_dark_after_being_chased_by_sheep_in_Lakes

A Patterdale Mountain Rescue spokesman said
Quote
We were obviously quite concerned when the fellas said they had been chased by wild animals, especially given all the recent reports of wild cats in Cumbria.
Once we arrived it quickly became apparent that men had been chased by a couple of Herdwicks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on August 04, 2015, 01:14:56 pm
(https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpt1/v/t1.0-9/11796181_1472193119766559_2613458576057975485_n.jpg?oh=964712a8692ce42184c1f7fcb09003e8&oe=5659F650)

and

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/13526446.Cyclist_smashes_into_89_year_old/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on August 04, 2015, 09:34:47 pm
It's the notes in the second photo that make it:

http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/13573038.Residents__broadband_lost__for_over_a_week__after_car_smashes_into_telecoms_cabinet_in_Bourne_End/

(This is the textbook tactical nuclear solution for when our-favourite-telco refuse to fix your line fault.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on August 05, 2015, 12:45:10 pm
Or get Geraint Thomas on the case...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on August 08, 2015, 01:02:34 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-33833663 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-33833663)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on August 08, 2015, 01:11:47 pm
She's got balls!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: graculus on August 08, 2015, 03:53:01 pm
The assailant was described as 'having a young voice'. Was this before or after she had dealt with him, I wonder?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on August 10, 2015, 07:33:24 pm
http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/13585818.Man_charged_with_drink_driving_was_seen_trying_to_inflate_car_tyres_with_vacuum_cleaner/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on August 26, 2015, 04:41:58 pm
"Bute renamed ‘Penis Island’ in Gaelic sign blunder"
http://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/heritage/bute-renamed-penis-island-in-gaelic-sign-blunder-1-3867056
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: fboab on September 07, 2015, 12:44:00 pm
Normal for Norfolk (http://www.becclesandbungayjournal.co.uk/news/man_appears_at_court_charged_with_attempted_sexual_assault_on_horse_1_4205957)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 09, 2015, 09:36:20 am
The provinces of Russia (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/sep/08/russian-5-year-olds-tunneled-out-nursery-jaguar-sports-car)

Good work, I say, to the kids.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on September 09, 2015, 05:01:04 pm
WI Censors rude place names at Harrogate show (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-york-north-yorkshire-34196691)

Ooh err missus, fnarr fnarr.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 14, 2015, 09:18:41 pm
I have no idea (obv) about what's actually on this CD.
The 'symbolic writing' on it is merely 'Hallelujah' and 'Jehovah' scrawled in Hebrew.
Shame the CD is upside down.
You might have thought the BBC would have just about enough people to spot this in London or Hertfordshire...
... even if you don't read Hebrew, that crucifix seems the wrong way up!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on September 14, 2015, 09:30:50 pm
That link is about bananananas.  ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 14, 2015, 10:07:08 pm
Ooops!
Corrected now.

Obviously hadn't copied the last link.
Apologies!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 14, 2015, 10:13:43 pm
I have no idea (obv) about what's actually on this CD.
The 'symbolic writing' on it is merely 'Hallelujah' and 'Jehovah' scrawled in Hebrew.
Shame the CD is upside down.
You might have thought the BBC would have just about enough people to spot this in London or Hertfordshire...
... even if you don't read Hebrew, that crucifix seems the wrong way up!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828)
Perhaps deliberately? Must be satanic!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 14, 2015, 10:53:49 pm
I have no idea (obv) about what's actually on this CD.
The 'symbolic writing' on it is merely 'Hallelujah' and 'Jehovah' scrawled in Hebrew.
Shame the CD is upside down.
You might have thought the BBC would have just about enough people to spot this in London or Hertfordshire...
... even if you don't read Hebrew, that crucifix seems the wrong way up!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-34243828)
Perhaps deliberately? Must be satanic!

 ;) ;D

The Hebrew is 'pointed' (marked with small vowel characters, mostly below the main letters). This is something really only done by beginners and foreign scholars. The writing is block, not cursive. This all points to someone with only rather basic education in Hebrew.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 15, 2015, 12:07:30 am
Just in case it's not clear, I meant that the BBC/the photographer/someone responsible for the photo had decided it looked better with an upside-down crucifix, not that the person responsible for the CD had got it the wrong way round.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 15, 2015, 12:39:29 am
I appreciate that!

It irks me when I see Hebrew upside-down; I know there are times when it can't be avoided but all too often it seems to spell a level of apathy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on September 15, 2015, 09:20:24 am
Once again, sloppy reporting from the beeb, in Helly's link...

Quote
Officers will be making house-to-house inquiries to retrieve any discs they may have been given.

Does that mean the houses have been given the CDs?

Or that the officers were given the CDs and need to retreive them?

Or something else?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on September 15, 2015, 12:10:42 pm
Backsheep passenger (sic)

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/13720430.Police_spot_backsheep_passenger_on_A19/

Years ago my next door neighbour had two on the back seat of his week old Mercedes saloon parked in our shared drive. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on September 16, 2015, 04:05:15 pm
Seen in Horley station on a billboard:

HORLEY MAN KEEPS ALBINO MOLE IN FREEZER

Here's the story
http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/Horley-mole-catcher-strikes-gold/story-27766326-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 17, 2015, 06:30:05 pm
It is not suspicious to end up beheaded in your car round this end of Outer Londonton.

http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/13656400.Man_dies_after_Edgware_crash/?ref=mr&lp=11 (http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/13656400.Man_dies_after_Edgware_crash/?ref=mr&lp=11)

http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/13766295.Man_found_decapitated_after_crash_outside_cemetery/?ref=rss (http://www.times-series.co.uk/news/13766295.Man_found_decapitated_after_crash_outside_cemetery/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on September 23, 2015, 11:34:20 pm
http://www.shieldsgazette.com/news/local-news/watch-live-crabs-kicked-off-metro-after-crustacean-escape-1-7468880
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on September 23, 2015, 11:43:18 pm
From the interwebz village news (http://newsthump.com/2015/09/23/cyclist-in-not-a-prick-shock/) . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 28, 2015, 12:23:57 pm
Outer Londonton drags feet into 20th century.
It might stretch credulity to term BT's FTTC 21st century.
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13784060.Thousands_of_homes_to_benefit_from_broadband_expansion/?ref=eb (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/13784060.Thousands_of_homes_to_benefit_from_broadband_expansion/?ref=eb)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on September 28, 2015, 12:26:57 pm
FTTC is, like many things, a triumph of technology over the cost of Doing Things Properly:

VDSL is pretty clever stuff, squeezing improbable amounts of bandwidth out of 19th century twisted-pair technology.  Fibre to the premises would likely have happened in the 1980s, if it weren't for Thatcher.

Clever bodges to do things on the cheap.... how 21st century do you want?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on September 29, 2015, 10:40:23 am
In the dead tree version of the Kent Messnger Maidstone Extra, the headline is "Order for jacket from the palace". It would appear that flunkies use the internet to buy clothes.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on September 29, 2015, 11:12:50 am
Seen in Horley station on a billboard:

HORLEY MAN KEEPS ALBINO MOLE IN FREEZER

Here's the story
http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/Horley-mole-catcher-strikes-gold/story-27766326-detail/story.html

This is notnews.  If one in every 100,000 moles is albino, then 99,999 in every 100,000 are notalbino.  If you catch a mole, the chance of it being notalbino is 0.99999.  Assuming the incidence of albino moles to be a random occurrence, let's say Mr Fearn catches 30 moles a week (he says "up to 40") for 52 weeks per year (though it's probably seasonal) and that he has a long and prosperous mole-trapping career of 35 years, then the probability of catching only notalbino moles is 0.99999^(30x52x35) = 0.58.  In other words, he has a 42% chance of catching an albino mole in the course of his career.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on October 05, 2015, 01:06:47 pm
Always important to have a local angle on world events...

http://www.ashbournenewstelegraph.co.uk/effect-Hurricane-Joaquin-Ashbourne-s-weather/story-27923521-detail/story.html (http://www.ashbournenewstelegraph.co.uk/effect-Hurricane-Joaquin-Ashbourne-s-weather/story-27923521-detail/story.html)


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on October 14, 2015, 03:50:37 pm
Toaster catches fire. (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Toaster-catches-Weston-Bath/story-27981310-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on October 15, 2015, 10:20:05 am
Two different local papers
(https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-oYYGZZZKPmo/Vh9tHeOG2sI/AAAAAAAAMg8/bAg0ba2iwMs/w328-h583-no/DSC_0533.JPG) (https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-sY3J6nyR60Q/Vh9tNHevsYI/AAAAAAAAMhc/kUIzGjgEofc/w328-h583-no/DSC_0534.JPG)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on October 15, 2015, 09:26:27 pm
I don't know who is responsible for this, but it is rather good:

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on October 16, 2015, 08:28:14 am
More pies is always good news:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/13873075.New_pie_shop_opens_in_York/?ref=mr&lp=2
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 20, 2015, 08:58:15 am
Not going to live for ever, are you? Besides, it would make a very nice basket for a large dog to sleep in. Anyway, what else are you doing on Halloween?
http://www.stroudlife.co.uk/Pictures-Weave-coffin-Stroud/story-27893556-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 20, 2015, 12:12:15 pm
Not going to live for ever, are you? Besides, it would make a very nice basket for a large dog to sleep in. Anyway, what else are you doing on Halloween?
http://www.stroudlife.co.uk/Pictures-Weave-coffin-Stroud/story-27893556-detail/story.html

Richard Ballantine had one of of those, carried to the crem on a bike trailer.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on October 20, 2015, 08:12:48 pm
I'm absolutely devastated - Not! (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/birmingham-christmas-parade-cancelled-because-10297685)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on October 22, 2015, 11:16:46 am
Halloween Lemurs
http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/Lemurs-halloween-spirit-Whipsnade-Zoo/story-28018717-detail/story.html (http://www.bedfordshire-news.co.uk/Lemurs-halloween-spirit-Whipsnade-Zoo/story-28018717-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on October 22, 2015, 02:41:10 pm
Slightly different topic to most on here, but Edinbugh-London-Edinburgh in 3 days is impressive. Chapeau: -
http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/10000-thank-yous-for-baby-unit-ed08171b-aadf-4cc4-8d56-55a68b6db15c-ds
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on October 25, 2015, 01:45:50 pm
Oh strewth!

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/Cambridge-woman-sets-Christmas-lights-months/story-28036323-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on October 25, 2015, 02:08:22 pm
[OT] AIUI there is no Danish word for 'tinsel'. Danes have taste...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 25, 2015, 02:20:14 pm
FWSE Translate suggests, among others, "glimmer" and "englehår".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on October 25, 2015, 02:34:26 pm
That latter sounds more like capellini - possibly not best with bolognese sauce...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tigerrr on October 25, 2015, 05:46:00 pm
I don't know who is responsible for this, but it is rather good:

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/
That is one of the best pictures I have seen since Tenerife 2003. Excellent.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tigerrr on October 25, 2015, 05:51:33 pm
Not going to live for ever, are you? Besides, it would make a very nice basket for a large dog to sleep in. Anyway, what else are you doing on Halloween?
http://www.stroudlife.co.uk/Pictures-Weave-coffin-Stroud/story-27893556-detail/story.html

Richard Ballantine had one of of those, carried to the crem on a bike trailer.
I never realised he was a cyclist, although owning all those gyms I should have guessed. But he never seemed very 'alternative' to me, very much a traditional capitalist with that glasgow rough thing and the self made man backstory.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on October 26, 2015, 09:14:52 am
I don't know who is responsible for this, but it is rather good:

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/
That is one of the best pictures I have seen since Tenerife 2003. Excellent.

If our local newspaper was more like this I might be tempted to read it . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on October 27, 2015, 06:09:13 pm
Firefighters rescue boy stuck in bathroom.

http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/digswell_youngster_rescued_from_bathroom_1_4286250
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on October 27, 2015, 06:24:21 pm
Italian (well Tyrolean) art gallery cleaners mistake art installation for rubbish.
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-installation-cleared-away-by-cleaners-who-mistook-it-for-rubbish-a3099966.html (http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-installation-cleared-away-by-cleaners-who-mistook-it-for-rubbish-a3099966.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on October 27, 2015, 07:42:56 pm
Italian (well Tyrolean) art gallery cleaners mistake art installation for rubbish.
http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-installation-cleared-away-by-cleaners-who-mistook-it-for-rubbish-a3099966.html (http://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-installation-cleared-away-by-cleaners-who-mistook-it-for-rubbish-a3099966.html)

They made the right call.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wobbly John on October 27, 2015, 09:31:45 pm
I don't know who is responsible for this, but it is rather good:

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/

Quote
"Joanna Areola of the Nudist Tourism Alliance of Britain"
  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on October 28, 2015, 08:17:13 am
Leighton Buzzard's oldest residents uncovered

Quote
Excavation unearths rare Saxon finds

http://www.leightonbuzzardonline.co.uk/news/local-news/excavation-unearths-rare-saxon-finds-1-7034455 (http://www.leightonbuzzardonline.co.uk/news/local-news/excavation-unearths-rare-saxon-finds-1-7034455)

Quote
Pagan burials containing rare pieces of jewellery and other graves goods have been found in a small Saxon Cemetery near Leighton Buzzard.

The excavation began after chance find by a local metal-detectorist of some Anglo-Saxon shield bosses dating from around AD600.

To protect the site from night-hawks during the excavation a member of the Leighton Buzzard and District Archaeological and Historical Society slept in a tent on the site for two weeks.

Following a geophysical survey of the area, members of the society led by site director, Bernard Jones, have completed a two-week excavation which has revealed the graves of four individuals, one female and three males. They appear to have been quite young, within the age range of 15 to 25 years old...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on October 28, 2015, 09:48:39 am
Buzzards protecting the site from Hawks! ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on October 28, 2015, 12:04:11 pm
Not going to live for ever, are you? Besides, it would make a very nice basket for a large dog to sleep in. Anyway, what else are you doing on Halloween?
http://www.stroudlife.co.uk/Pictures-Weave-coffin-Stroud/story-27893556-detail/story.html

Richard Ballantine had one of of those, carried to the crem on a bike trailer.
I never realised he was a cyclist, although owning all those gyms I should have guessed. But he never seemed very 'alternative' to me, very much a traditional capitalist with that glasgow rough thing and the self made man backstory.
I believe that sir may be thinking of Duncan Ballentine. Unrelated and slightly less dead.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on October 28, 2015, 12:11:21 pm
I believe that sir may be thinking of Duncan Ballentine. Unrelated and slightly less dead.
Duncan Ballentine is undead
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 28, 2015, 12:59:35 pm
Thank you, Vince.  I have been struggling to understand Tigerrr's reply for a couple of days.

And struggling to understand most of Tigerrr's replies for a Several of years ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on October 29, 2015, 09:44:33 am
Exciting television. (http://www.westernmorningnews.co.uk/Racy-Poldark-fans-descend-Cornwall/story-27909916-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on October 29, 2015, 09:51:00 am
Exciting television. (http://www.westernmorningnews.co.uk/Racy-Poldark-fans-descend-Cornwall/story-27909916-detail/story.html)

Lordy.  There's no plan to film any mini series in Northumberland is there?  Can't have them turning Alnmouth into an enormous car park/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 10, 2015, 05:17:39 pm
Police called to man 'lying down' on Herne Bay coastline (http://www.canterburytimes.co.uk/Police-called-man-lying-Herne-Bay-coastline/story-28148662-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 12, 2015, 04:59:47 pm
Birmingham's Christmas market opens (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-34789059)

(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/C137/production/_86636494_bolt.jpg)

(http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/news/624/cpsprodpb/369F/production/_86638931_creo.jpg)

Some seriously informative infographics there, but I still want to know the volume of the Glühwein in Olympic Swimming Pools.

Incidentally, I went past the Christmas Market yesterday.  Confirmed sighting of at least one German (fiddling with something electrical), and someone who understands German when spoken to them by a German.  The famous angel with the can of special brew was conspicuously absent, though maybe they just hadn't installed that yet.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on November 12, 2015, 05:11:07 pm
http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Female-council-chief-axed-public-toilets-fined/story-28158649-detail/story.html (http://www.westerndailypress.co.uk/Female-council-chief-axed-public-toilets-fined/story-28158649-detail/story.html)

 :facepalm: :facepalm: ;D ;D

Seems to be a man despite URL FWIW.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on November 16, 2015, 01:36:57 pm
Depressingly expected..

http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/more-news/bicester-beauty-salon-we-are-banning-muslims-1-7067395
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 18, 2015, 11:51:32 am
Cyclist does a Basil; uploads tracklog to Strava (http://road.cc/content/news/171431-cyclists-strava-records-moment-he-fell-canal)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on November 18, 2015, 12:09:53 pm
 ;D  Brilliant.
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 19, 2015, 06:42:23 pm
Old lady signs little red book: Best thing to ever happen at Mordor Central (https://twitter.com/NetworkRailBHM/status/667320408853606401/photo/1)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on November 19, 2015, 07:03:56 pm
And then she wrote "Don't, whatever you do, give this book to JenM or Wowbagger"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on November 19, 2015, 07:24:23 pm
I see that Brum Bish tried to upstage HM's pink outfit.  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 24, 2015, 10:34:02 pm
CRUMBS! Sandwich shop in Sandwich raid – but not a sandwich was taken (http://www.dover-express.co.uk/f/story-28234076-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on November 25, 2015, 07:41:32 am
Quote
Doughpy theives cut through a wall of a Subway sandwich store... in Sandwich yesterday morning.

Ironic that in their struggle to create a pun they also manage to include a very basic spelling mistake.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on December 03, 2015, 08:35:04 pm
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-seafront-traders-concerned-over-government-threat-to-destroy-ices/

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 03, 2015, 08:43:10 pm
CRUMBS! Sandwich shop in Sandwich raid – but not a sandwich was taken (http://www.dover-express.co.uk/f/story-28234076-detail/story.html)
Are you moonlighting as a reporter in Kent now, Kim? Surely non-Yacfers could not be responsible for such puns?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 04, 2015, 08:58:46 pm
The good old Brighton Argus goes for the obvious headline.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14125632.Sink_hole_appears_in_road___highways_officials_looking_into_it/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on December 08, 2015, 11:22:40 pm
Two gems today in the Saarfend Echo:

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14131705.Martin_Clunes_spotted_filming_on_Canvey/?ref=ar

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14127625.Six_staff_walk_out_and_police_are_called_as_diner_dispute_sees_restaurant_branded_as__like_Fawlty_Towers_/?ref=mr&lp=4

The latter also found its way into the national press.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 09, 2015, 08:12:35 pm
Angels help Leamington Spa shoppers avoid parking fines (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-35052900)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 16, 2015, 11:58:53 pm
Decomposed frog found in Nando's salad (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-35111514)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on December 19, 2015, 11:38:58 pm
Scalextric championships in Essex.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-35136388 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-35136388)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on December 20, 2015, 12:23:16 am
Decomposed frog found in Nando's salad (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-35111514)

Not Whizzo butter then?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on December 21, 2015, 10:56:49 am
'Cyclists should be considered for a ..... congestion charge' - what a plonker!

http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/consider-charging-cyclists-Cambridge-congestion/story-28398105-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on December 21, 2015, 01:18:57 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-35150870

"I locked my doors and thought, 'you're not getting in here, I've got carrots in my boot'."

Which is quite a good euphemism.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on December 22, 2015, 01:15:48 pm
Post Office burgler tries to buy car with 1000 £1 coins (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/local-news/post-office-burglar-caught-after-10635945)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on December 22, 2015, 06:27:32 pm
Ah, a candidate for Stupid Burglar lists.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on December 23, 2015, 05:34:43 pm
Today's surreal news - Man Steals Vacuum (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/man_in_custody_over_alleged_vacuum_theft_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_4358306)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 23, 2015, 07:17:38 pm
http://www.wiltshiretimes.co.uk/news/14163505.Missing_keys_finally_found_in_Bradford_on_Avon_charity_shop/

Story's in the URL, really.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on December 24, 2015, 12:19:47 am
Today's surreal news - Man Steals Vacuum (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/man_in_custody_over_alleged_vacuum_theft_in_welwyn_garden_city_1_4358306)

I suppose if the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th most read stories on that site are the opening hours of different supermarkets then a vacuum theft is big news.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Reg.T on December 24, 2015, 12:34:37 am
http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/hurt-car-suffers-handbrake-failure-rolls-hill/story-28267975-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/hurt-car-suffers-handbrake-failure-rolls-hill/story-28267975-detail/story.html)
Handbrake failure in unattended car causes partial obstruction to road, but no damage. Warning issued that there may be traffic in both directions.
It all excitement in Bath.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 24, 2015, 04:41:41 pm
East Midlands Airport boycott threat over Derby County advert (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-35166654)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on December 24, 2015, 05:14:43 pm
http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/hurt-car-suffers-handbrake-failure-rolls-hill/story-28267975-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/hurt-car-suffers-handbrake-failure-rolls-hill/story-28267975-detail/story.html)
Handbrake failure in unattended car causes partial obstruction to road, but no damage. Warning issued that there may be traffic in both directions.
It all excitement in Bath.
it's not in the spirit of this thread to trump your story with one from India, but i think it's too good to not share:

http://i.stuff.co.nz/world/asia/75430001/monkey-steals-bus-in-india-while-driver-naps-crashes-into-two-other-buses
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on December 25, 2015, 10:49:57 am
Some good news for a change.

Well - good that someone was in the right place at the right time. Not so good that their help was needed.

http://www.dorsetecho.co.uk/news/14165290._I_feel_incredibly_lucky___Cyclist_who_collapsed_with_cardiac_arrest_thanks_police_officers_who_saved_his_life/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on January 04, 2016, 03:58:43 pm
It gets even more exciting near Bath - man goes for lunch at pub

http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 04, 2016, 06:45:05 pm
It gets even more exciting near Bath - man goes for lunch at pub

http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html)

How many pints did he have, and did he visit the toilet?

These journalists are rubbish.


ETA: I was thinking of John Craven, a completely different national treasure, famed for his legendary bladder control  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on January 06, 2016, 09:33:25 am
Man taken to court for putting his feet up on a train seat.

Good - but why is this so extraordinary that it's newsworthy? Why was a fixed penalty ticket not sufficient?

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14182759.Ringwood_man_taken_to_court_for_putting_his_feet_on_a_train_seat/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 06, 2016, 10:34:22 am
Nice pub, the George. I remember merry days with my cousin there and a pint or more of cider. Many years ago, mind. It's by the canal, so handy for boaters and towpath cyclists.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 06, 2016, 08:11:01 pm
This thread is slacking.  How did we miss this?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/12085091/drummondpuddle-why-has-a-puddle-in-newcastle-become-an-internet-sensation.html

Sort of thing that makes you proud to be British...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on January 07, 2016, 06:00:04 am
Man taken to court for putting his feet up on a train seat.

Good - but why is this so extraordinary that it's newsworthy? Why was a fixed penalty ticket not sufficient?

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14182759.Ringwood_man_taken_to_court_for_putting_his_feet_on_a_train_seat/

It is in the article. The subtext of the article is that the commuter was a cnut and refused to take his feet off the seat, thus getting a penalty. Quite right too - dog shit on seats  :sick:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on January 07, 2016, 06:01:14 am
It gets even more exciting near Bath - man goes for lunch at pub

http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/Phillip-Schofield-pops-George-Inn-Bathampton/story-28457534-detail/story.html)

How many pints did he have, and did he visit the toilet?

These journalists are rubbish.


ETA: I was thinking of John Craven, a completely different national treasure, famed for his legendary bladder control  :facepalm:

I'd never heard of that urban myth, and having dome 5 pints without peeing in the past, wonder why it got so much traction!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on January 07, 2016, 07:49:29 am
Man taken to court for putting his feet up on a train seat.

Good - but why is this so extraordinary that it's newsworthy? Why was a fixed penalty ticket not sufficient?

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14182759.Ringwood_man_taken_to_court_for_putting_his_feet_on_a_train_seat/

It is in the article. The subtext of the article is that the commuter was a cnut and refused to take his feet off the seat, thus getting a penalty. Quite right too - dog shit on seats  :sick:
I'm pretty sure that the final comment "It is believed that ..." wasn't there when I first saw the story, though I'm by no means certain.

The Bournemouth Echo and Dorset Echo are notorious for poor/misleading headlines (clickbait) and random updating of stories.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on January 07, 2016, 11:06:30 am
According to the Surrey Mirror website:

Quote
There are queues on the M25 this morning

Goodness.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on January 13, 2016, 03:23:07 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-35253903 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-35253903)

'GO STEVE' !!!???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 13, 2016, 10:50:05 pm
Quote
Castle Cary resident Godfrey Hall has concerns that bus consultations and rail services are inadequate for isolated people in the area

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on January 14, 2016, 08:17:12 am
There has been a lot of rain recently.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Riggers on January 14, 2016, 11:39:57 am
Love this from The Argus today (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14204054.More_icy_roads_causing_problems_as_car_leaves_road_on_commuter_route/)

Further down the report, a Sussex Police spokesman said: "There was nothing to suggest the road was icy …"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on January 14, 2016, 11:42:30 pm
This is the key bit from that report.

Quote
a woman in her 20s was treated by paramedics for neck pain.
She was driving a Nissan Micra.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 15, 2016, 08:13:48 pm
Old news, but worth posting anyway:

http://www.lutontoday.co.uk/news/dalek-danger-on-luton-dunstable-busway-1-6611207
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on January 16, 2016, 02:18:51 pm
http://www.teesdalemercury.co.uk/Articles/poover-the-answer-to-dale’s-dog-mess-woes#sthash.lnmtLxoX.dpbs

Insert "it's a shit job but..." joke here.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on January 17, 2016, 07:25:15 pm
Any confirmation from our correspondent on the spot? (http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/shoppers-horror/)

Can't see a Nissan Leaf in the picture, mind . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on January 18, 2016, 10:16:54 am
Another splendid piece from Southed News Network.

http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-underground-railway-planned-to-ease-traffic-concerns/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on January 18, 2016, 10:18:40 am
Any confirmation from our correspondent on the spot? (http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/shoppers-horror/)

Can't see a Nissan Leaf in the picture, mind . . .

Mrs. Wow and I are heading straight there now on a fact-finding trip.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on January 18, 2016, 08:24:29 pm
 :o :o  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on January 20, 2016, 03:19:23 pm
This headline really irritates me...

http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/crime/man-charged-with-escaping-from-open-prison-1-7166899
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on January 20, 2016, 03:26:52 pm
Maybe 'absconding' is beyond their vocabulary?
Meanwhile, in today's Standard, a pricy home is described as 'luxuriant'. It's not a beard, mane or hedge FFS...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on January 20, 2016, 06:32:20 pm
A fail for Eglwyswrw then.

http://www.tivysideadvertiser.co.uk/news/14216860.Eglwyswrw_s_rain_record_attempt_is_over/

What gets me is the use of the word 'Attempt'.   Eh? 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on January 20, 2016, 07:17:01 pm
Should have tried harder, obviously...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 20, 2016, 07:19:15 pm
Yeah, more car-washing, barbecues and camping weekends.  That sort of thing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 20, 2016, 07:27:43 pm
Maybe 'absconding' is beyond their vocabulary?
Meanwhile, in today's Standard, a pricy home is described as 'luxuriant'. It's not a beard, mane or hedge FFS...
I think they were trying to express that it's not simple luxury, it's deviant luxury.  ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on January 21, 2016, 01:34:02 am
 newsthump (http://newsthump.com/2016/01/19/newcastle-population-facing-deportation-after-failing-to-learn-english/)  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DDCyclist on January 21, 2016, 07:25:18 am
newsthump (http://newsthump.com/2016/01/19/newcastle-population-facing-deportation-after-failing-to-learn-english/)  :thumbsup:
Looks like they'll have to declare independence. I don't know  who'll be the more relieved - the Geordies, or the English.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on January 21, 2016, 11:58:03 am
Dog Poo DNA Test Starts in Barking

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-35363991 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-35363991)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on January 25, 2016, 01:06:55 pm
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14221982.York_man_banned_from_having_sex_unless_he_gives_police_24_hours__notice/?ref=mr&lp=20

I know this is a serious matter but it still made me smile, imagine the phone call.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on January 25, 2016, 10:04:04 pm
It's all kicking off in Sherborne:

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on January 25, 2016, 11:27:50 pm
It's all kicking off in Sherborne:

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html

How did you choose? There are some belting links on that page.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 26, 2016, 12:02:12 am
It's all kicking off in Sherborne:

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html

Very thorough journalism, though they didn't specify the flavour of yoghurt.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on January 26, 2016, 08:43:10 am
Quote
The hunt is on for a yoghurt throwing convertible driver after two drive-by dairy attacks in Dorset.

Is this the driver of a yoghurt-throwing convertible, a driver who is convertible (into what?) who throws yoghurt, or a person who throws yoghurt while driving a cabriolet? ??? :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on January 26, 2016, 07:23:22 pm
It's all kicking off in Sherborne:

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html

How did you choose? There are some belting links on that page.

That was just the link someone sent me - I thought it was a hoax at first, especially seeing headlines like this:

http://m.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Woman-dressed-vagina-stops-street-fight-penis-man/story-19328715-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on January 27, 2016, 10:20:56 pm
Looks like it wasn't just me in me jammies all day today!

Apparently Darlo has now gone global with this.  I am very proud.

http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/headteacher-asks-parents-stop-wearing-10790129
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on January 27, 2016, 10:33:25 pm
Looks like it wasn't just me in me jammies all day today!

Apparently Darlo has now gone global with this.  I am very proud.

http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/headteacher-asks-parents-stop-wearing-10790129

The letter's on Look North too
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 31, 2016, 05:49:32 pm
Ah!  So that's what they're for!

http://www.thelocal.it/20160131/italian-arrested-for-use-of-bidet-as-deadly-weapon
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on February 10, 2016, 08:58:30 am
Postman Pat's van stolen. Cat goes missing at same time.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-35524233 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-35524233)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on February 10, 2016, 01:57:47 pm
I feel the need to visit Twycross zoo sometime soon

Quote
Gibbon Forest unveiled at Twycross Zoo
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-35482909 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-35482909)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on February 16, 2016, 05:36:17 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-35579159 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-35579159)

Dinosaur Antics  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 17, 2016, 12:00:38 am
Sailing without a sail (http://www.burytimes.co.uk/news/14277119.Canal_enthusiast_in_dinghy_sails_through_Hincaster_Tunnel_for_first_time_in_almost_70_years___and_plans_new_adventure_with__Captain_Jack_Sparrow_/?ref=mr&lp=5) and added Jack Sparrow.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on February 18, 2016, 05:11:01 pm
Not really the provinces, but I think BBC London's reporters are giving the provinces a run for their money with a "trainspotters seen in station" shocker combined with claiming everyday happenings from the 1950s are news:
Quote
BBC London Live: Latest
16 minutes ago
Paddington trainspotters in the 1950s
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on February 18, 2016, 08:59:31 pm
^^ Hacked again? ^^
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on February 19, 2016, 06:20:57 pm
http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/BREAKING-Man-orange-underpants-blocking-traffic/story-28768283-detail/story.html (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/BREAKING-Man-orange-underpants-blocking-traffic/story-28768283-detail/story.html)

My former haunt, at Uni.  If this is on the A46 it will be even more utterly chaotic than usual
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 20, 2016, 08:09:24 am
It is in Pennsylvania, so he is probably American.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on February 21, 2016, 09:51:33 pm
re Somerset Yoghurt attack; I did read down to see what the good readers thought; they were as appalled as I was

"Firstly, I think everyone should stop milking this for a cheap gag. It's given me a real sour taste in the mouth. The road's been closed to allow the forensics team to investigate the cream scene. On interviewing the chief detective, they said "nothing's got past ur eyes. It's obviously part of the bigger movement - we are after the big cheese"... They won't get a-whey with this one! Poor woman, curdled with fear."

'Some guy had the cheek to throw yogurt at that woman? How dairy?'

'It's this kind of unprovoked aggression that makes my stomach churn'

These people are obviously very cultured!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on February 21, 2016, 10:00:33 pm
It's all kicking off in Sherborne:

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Drive-yoghurt-attack-crochet-teacher-s/story-28590287-detail/story.html

Not so much for the story from the same tome, but check out the pictures to illustrate a pilgrim, a taser, and a bottle...

http://www.centralsomersetgazette.co.uk/Pilgrim-Glastonbury-man-s-driveway-armed-bottle/story-28770657-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on February 24, 2016, 11:24:02 am
Quote
Man carrying gnome sparks police alert on M60 in Greater Manchester
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-35648583 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-35648583)

Unfortunately, the headline is more interesting than the story
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on February 26, 2016, 02:10:57 pm
Some kindred spirits here (if at work, warning some "rude words")...
http://www.getbucks.co.uk/news/local-news/what-rudest-addresses-buckinghamshire-10953650 (http://www.getbucks.co.uk/news/local-news/what-rudest-addresses-buckinghamshire-10953650)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on February 26, 2016, 03:05:01 pm
Some kindred spirits here (if at work, warning some "rude words")...
http://www.getbucks.co.uk/news/local-news/what-rudest-addresses-buckinghamshire-10953650 (http://www.getbucks.co.uk/news/local-news/what-rudest-addresses-buckinghamshire-10953650)

I fails to mention Cockshoot Hill, althopuh I don't think any property actually has an address there - the lower slopes have been retitled Chickadee......   But Cockshoot Hill car park is a well know "dogging" spot. Trufax.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 26, 2016, 11:46:38 pm
Have we had http://birminghamupdates.com/post/139984348918/police-called-after-two-men-got-trapped-in-stolen ?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on February 27, 2016, 09:55:11 am
Have we had http://birminghamupdates.com/post/139984348918/police-called-after-two-men-got-trapped-in-stolen ?

I misread the last word in the URL as stollen  ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 04, 2016, 12:25:24 pm
From my Twitter feed:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ccs2L2UW4AAPoQc.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on March 04, 2016, 12:35:02 pm
Saw this about the Isle of Man yesterday

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002)

Couple of things puzzled me

While it doesn't say whose WW2 bomb it was the IoM isn't the kind of place you would bomb by accident unless you were very lost.

And 2 I didn't think there was anything worth bombing on the IoM anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MagnusOpus on March 04, 2016, 02:00:22 pm
From my Twitter feed:
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ccs2L2UW4AAPoQc.jpg)

This can't be so? Gef the talking mongoose beats Cav as the Isle of Mans greatest ever beast!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gef (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gef)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on March 04, 2016, 05:38:44 pm
Better start panic buying chocolate!

http://www.itv.com/news/central/2016-03-04/200-cadbury-staff-on-strike-weeks-before-easter-bournville-birmingham/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on March 04, 2016, 06:21:00 pm
Man stuck in fence
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14321627.Jogger_shares_mishap_that_saw_him_stuck_in_York_fence___WITH_PHOTO_GALLERY/?ref=mr&lp=1 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14321627.Jogger_shares_mishap_that_saw_him_stuck_in_York_fence___WITH_PHOTO_GALLERY/?ref=mr&lp=1)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on March 07, 2016, 10:13:35 am
Biggleswade has it's own radio station!

http://www.bigglesfm.com/

(I haven't listened yet. I'm not sure I dare!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 09, 2016, 01:26:37 pm
Not provincial but...
http://news.met.police.uk/news/help-needed-to-trace-stolen-stuffed-animals-154850?utm_campaign=send_list&utm_medium=email&utm_source=sendgrid (http://news.met.police.uk/news/help-needed-to-trace-stolen-stuffed-animals-154850?utm_campaign=send_list&utm_medium=email&utm_source=sendgrid)

Burglary at taxidermist
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on March 11, 2016, 07:29:03 am
Saw this about the Isle of Man yesterday

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002)

Couple of things puzzled me

While it doesn't say whose WW2 bomb it was the IoM isn't the kind of place you would bomb by accident unless you were very lost.

And 2 I didn't think there was anything worth bombing on the IoM anyway.

The Isle of Man had several RAF training bases during WW2 - including a bomber training station.

It was also targeted several times.  Although Orford Ness is often most commonly linked with the development of radar, a lot of the R&D actually went on the Isle of Man. 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on March 11, 2016, 10:00:56 am
Saw this about the Isle of Man yesterday

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-isle-of-man-35706002)

Couple of things puzzled me

While it doesn't say whose WW2 bomb it was the IoM isn't the kind of place you would bomb by accident unless you were very lost.

And 2 I didn't think there was anything worth bombing on the IoM anyway.

The Isle of Man had several RAF training bases during WW2 - including a bomber training station.

It was also targeted several times.  Although Orford Ness is often most commonly linked with the development of radar, a lot of the R&D actually went on the Isle of Man.

The nearest RAF station was on the other side of the island from where the bomb hit - about 7 or so miles IIRC
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pancho on March 11, 2016, 10:20:46 am
I don't think bomber crews liked lugging undropped bombs home and, if they would ditch them pretty randomly if they couldn't find their target. At least that's the story that I was told to explain the bomb crater in a field in our village - miles from any potential targets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on March 11, 2016, 10:56:18 am
Yes I think you're right. A heinkel probably didn't fancy going all the way to Belfast so just unloaded them on the IoM
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on March 19, 2016, 05:57:04 pm
Blimey, some right shenanigans in Richmond!

http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/14369319.Bloodied_axeman_seen_chasing_men_on_busy_Richmond_street/?ref=ebmpn
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on March 19, 2016, 06:19:04 pm
Just a hundred yards or so from our front door (http://rugbyobserver.co.uk/news/rugby-shooting-leaves-two-injured/).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on March 19, 2016, 06:41:43 pm
Chelsea the chihuahua goes on rampage:

http://www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/richmondnews/14349652.Case_against__dangerously_out_of_control__Chihuahua_dropped_by_magistrates/

With photo of chihuahua “not Chelsea”:

(http://www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/resources/images/4847486.jpg?htype=0&display=1&type=mc3)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 20, 2016, 12:29:53 pm
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln)

Poor chap!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on March 21, 2016, 09:13:34 am
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln)

Poor chap!
Um - the nasty comments under that article do seem to be correct. He does have a youtube channel, a large part of which is videos of him doing martial arts in a house - they say it's his mum's house. He certainly isn't homeless without the clay house.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 21, 2016, 11:00:56 am
Most of the comments seem to be very supportive of him. I'm impressed at the (appearing) solidity and well-finished nature of his house, bathing pool and so on. Clearly some of the furniture has come from somewhere else. I don't think he's going to set a trend and the woods will be taken over with these structures, because hardly anyone would actually want to live like that, but it does show the extensive changes even one person causes to their environment. Whether he should be allowed to carry on living there I'm not sure, but he'll probably find it difficult to live there undisturbed now anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on March 21, 2016, 12:13:24 pm
http://www.burtonmail.co.uk/Burton-brewer-makes-beer-debut/story-28958344-detail/story.html (http://www.burtonmail.co.uk/Burton-brewer-makes-beer-debut/story-28958344-detail/story.html)
Brewer from Burton sells beer at a beer festival.
(Good luck to him!)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 21, 2016, 12:16:06 pm
I suspect he'll be evicted.
Some people need to live outside conventional society.
We are getting less tolerant of this.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: MagnusOpus on March 21, 2016, 01:50:19 pm
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln)

Poor chap!

Wow, I lived for many years 5 minutes walk from those woods.... neat little place he made for himself
 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on March 21, 2016, 02:57:01 pm
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14352203.Woodland_hermit_ordered_out_of_house_made_of_clay/?ref=ebln)

Poor chap!

Wow, I lived for many years 5 minutes walk from those woods.... neat little place he made for himself
It is - and very impressive.

I'm less impressed by his clay-harvesting activities. It looks harmless - until you consider the impact on the stream of all the stirred-up clay silt and his dam.

I have friends who have taken the choice to opt out of 'normal' living. They lived in yurts, benders and log houses. All built with permission, with enthusiastic encouragement of land owner. It's possible.

This chap didn't want to do that, didn't want to ask. He just decided to take.

He'd have more of my sympathy if I hadn't looked at his youtube videos.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 25, 2016, 11:41:08 am
Adult woman gets stuck in MaccyD's baby high chair:
https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/2016/03/25/video-woman-rescued-firefighters-two-hours-stuck-dundee-mcdonalds-high-chair/ (https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/2016/03/25/video-woman-rescued-firefighters-two-hours-stuck-dundee-mcdonalds-high-chair/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 25, 2016, 11:14:23 pm
A new hotel boasts a "loo with a view" with scenes of the Birmingham skyline from the 16th floor. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-35898920)

Wowbagger (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=93686.msg1982363#msg1982363) will be pleased to note:

Quote
The hotel said unless "you were abseiling down a side of the building you wouldn't be able to see in".
Asked about window cleaners, general manager Robin Ford said: "I think we probably need to think about those don't we?"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on March 28, 2016, 10:15:53 am
http://m.cambridge-news.co.uk/8203-Stop-hogging-lanes-cyclists-Cambridge-area/story-28986775-detail/story.html (http://m.cambridge-news.co.uk/8203-Stop-hogging-lanes-cyclists-Cambridge-area/story-28986775-detail/story.html)

Not sure where this one should be.  Hadn't realised Cambridge drivers were such arses  until the Pork Pie, when two of us side by side in the middle of nowhere were getting more abuse that I've had in ten years in the fens
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Canardly on March 28, 2016, 10:24:58 am
'Course this does and should not mean, single file all the time (Highway Code). If I recall correctly British Cycling leadership courses insist on two abreast wherever possible.

Rule 66 You should

keep both hands on the handlebars except when signalling or changing gearBe useful if car drivers actually read the code occasionally having passed their tests.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on March 31, 2016, 04:16:54 pm
No photo, but the billboard stating "BABY BORN IN MCDONALD"S CAR PARK" gave me the impression that the lady's need for some junk food trumped her contractions, but apparently not. The McDonald's car park was as far as they got before it became obvious that the final couple of miles to the hospital were beyond her.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14390416.Surprise_delivery__Baby_born_in_McDonald_s_car_park_en_route_to_hospital/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 31, 2016, 05:22:50 pm
Likewise http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14388950.Police_officers_deliver_baby_on_side_of_road/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/14388950.Police_officers_deliver_baby_on_side_of_road/?ref=ebln)

No part of Kenton Road is more than two miles from Northwick Park Hospital.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on April 01, 2016, 09:21:06 am
Giant Rat Statue for Longbridge (http://b31.org.uk/2016/04/statue-announced-for-longbridge-island/)

Quote
He did go on to say that, for a while, an 18 foot golden cock was looking likely to be erected,

That would have been great for the CDC thread.

Edit.  Oh god.  I'm an idiot.  Just noticed the date.
New rule, Basil.  No posting before first coffee of the day.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on April 01, 2016, 02:39:10 pm
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-news-network-to-close-shortly-official-statement/

If that's an April Fool, then it has certainly beaten me. Very sad if I'm right.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Regulator on April 01, 2016, 03:14:19 pm
http://m.cambridge-news.co.uk/8203-Stop-hogging-lanes-cyclists-Cambridge-area/story-28986775-detail/story.html (http://m.cambridge-news.co.uk/8203-Stop-hogging-lanes-cyclists-Cambridge-area/story-28986775-detail/story.html)

Not sure where this one should be.  Hadn't realised Cambridge drivers were such arses  until the Pork Pie, when two of us side by side in the middle of nowhere were getting more abuse that I've had in ten years in the fens

The Cambridge Evening News is a cyclist-hating, sh*t-stirring rag, with little or no journalistic integrity.

It was also a Sawston group that raised the issues.... 'nuff said.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on April 11, 2016, 11:19:47 am
Some yogurt rage going on here (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/04/11/police-hunting-yoghurt-pot-throwers-in-shrewsbury/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: perpetual dan on April 11, 2016, 02:48:03 pm
Sex ed in hospital?
http://www.london24.com/news/quirky-london/pregnant_woman_showed_porn_film_in_northwick_park_hospital_waiting_room_1_4489942 (http://www.london24.com/news/quirky-london/pregnant_woman_showed_porn_film_in_northwick_park_hospital_waiting_room_1_4489942)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on April 12, 2016, 10:19:01 pm
PPE student accidentally locked in a university building with their mobile phone uses their initiative to get help:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-36023555
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 13, 2016, 02:56:59 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cf7K6v7WsAEIEb8.jpg:large)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on April 14, 2016, 04:28:25 pm
I'm going to Worcestershire at the weekend.  Do you think I should take precautions?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on April 14, 2016, 04:30:23 pm
Sounds like you can have quite a lot of fun in Worcester for £200 and the price of a bag of crisps.  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on April 15, 2016, 11:39:00 am
Or in this case, the colonies -
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/apr/15/lycra-ban-new-zealand-hotel-bumps-and-bulges-breakfast?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H&utm_term=167209&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2 (http://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/apr/15/lycra-ban-new-zealand-hotel-bumps-and-bulges-breakfast?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H&utm_term=167209&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 15, 2016, 12:40:33 pm
Didn't Harrod's ban Lycra cycling shorts?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 17, 2016, 04:47:28 pm
Is this for real?
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-lidl-starts-selling-waitrose-bags-to-fight-against-supermarket-shame/ (http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-lidl-starts-selling-waitrose-bags-to-fight-against-supermarket-shame/)

I checked the date and everyfink...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on April 17, 2016, 04:52:51 pm
Looking at some of the other headlines, it's more of a year-round thing...

Quote
LOCH NESS MONSTER spotted near EXPLOSIVE SS Montgomery wreck in Thames
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on April 17, 2016, 05:02:04 pm
On a sandwich board for the Northern Echo today:

"Pie Maker in Mangled Hand Scandal".

You have to wonder whether it was found in a pie, or just a health and safety issue.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on April 17, 2016, 06:12:59 pm
Didn't Harrod's ban Lycra cycling shorts?

It banned all shorts if worn by men - but women could still wear them. I was once escorted from the premises when I dived into the food hall on my way home, no even thinking that it would be a problem.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on April 17, 2016, 07:01:49 pm
Is this for real?
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-lidl-starts-selling-waitrose-bags-to-fight-against-supermarket-shame/ (http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/southend-lidl-starts-selling-waitrose-bags-to-fight-against-supermarket-shame/)

I checked the date and everyfink...

Quote
THE LATEST NEWS FROM SOUTHEND, HONEST...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on April 18, 2016, 11:47:25 pm
Poet writes poem; BBC misses point. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-36072091)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on April 19, 2016, 08:23:56 am
Council paints road-markings round ice-age hazard. Bottom drops out of world for villagers

Quote
Soulbury stone: White lines 'horrific' and 'an eyesore'
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-36024009 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-36024009)
White lines painted around a boulder, thought to have been in place 11,000 years in an attempt to make it safer, have been described as an "eyesore" and "horrific" on social media.
The stone in Soulbury, Buckinghamshire, was under threat of being moved after a car allegedly crashed into it.
The county council has since painted white chevrons around it.
Photos of the new look on the Soulbury News Facebook page have attracted dozens of negative comments.
One person described it as a good compromise, but the vast majority of those responding have criticised the chevrons, labelling them as "shocking" and "dreadful".
Villagers had threatened to chain themselves to the stone, known as the Soulbury Boot, after the crash put its position in the middle of Chapel Hill in jeopardy.
;D ;D :facepalm: ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jakob W on April 19, 2016, 08:30:13 am
I wonder what they do when the tarmac need resurfacing?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on April 21, 2016, 01:09:23 pm
Top news article on the Whitehaven News today.

http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/Church-baffled-by-toilet-vandal-01b04514-15bc-45dd-ad8f-d077a9c37268-ds

"Angry parishioners have been battling for two years with a mystery vandal" - the vandalism appears to be that they keep painting "TOILET" on the toilets ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 21, 2016, 01:29:18 pm
'There is no need to paint signs.'
I suspect there is and 'vandal' is frustrated local who keeps getting asked.

A long-distance traveller who is busting for a pee needs to know QUICKLY...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on April 21, 2016, 01:38:41 pm
Quote from: The churchwarden
"I have found it all very distressing and I haven't been able to sleep,'' she said. "I'm not sure what they are going to do next"

I think I can guess ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on April 26, 2016, 11:30:41 am
Whatever it is that you're doing that you can keep it up 'til the cows come home, you can stop now.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-36127712 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-36127712)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 26, 2016, 05:41:40 pm
Peacocks and peahens get up to Mischief.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-36140145 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-36140145)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on April 28, 2016, 10:38:02 am
Graffiti? Or sensible road markings
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-36131416 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-nottinghamshire-36131416)
Quote
A mystery graffiti artist dubbed the "Phantom Aerosol" has spayed a series of DIY road markings to highlight dangers to cyclists.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on April 28, 2016, 01:05:20 pm
That is a bit like writing "Toilet" on a toilet, isn't it?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on April 28, 2016, 01:52:56 pm
It's all kicking off in Henley this week: Bin repainted (http://www.henleystandard.co.uk/news/news.php?tabp=y&id=199167)

Someone go and get a picture for the Bins for Jane thread!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on April 28, 2016, 02:24:40 pm
It's not bang-up-to-date but this is a wonderfully insightful opinion piece. (http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/Simon-Bates-BBC-Radio-Devon-rubbish-says-Deborah/story-25861784-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 30, 2016, 05:35:16 pm
Harpic and Domestos again; oh dear!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-36178327 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-36178327)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on May 02, 2016, 11:21:46 am
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/police-called-as-waitrose-southend-coffee-machine-fight-ends-in-9-arrests/

Absolutely brilliant! The bit about the machine being out of action is perfectly true - I was there this morning and it led to customers talking to each other, I can tell you! There was even a discussion about the pronunciation of the word latté.

Quote
Horrified shopper Jemima Clenge said: ‘I am one of the fortunate ones who only wanted a simple and elegant black coffee, but the people in front of me turned into absolute animals when it emerged that there would be an extra wait for any milk-based coffee drinks. After a bit of pushing and shoving, a man in a The North Face waterproof jacket threw a punch at another man in a Cotton Traders rugby jersey, and two ladies were trying to strangle each other with hemp-based ethical carrier bags. It was like a scene from Platoon or something like that.’
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on May 03, 2016, 07:55:49 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14464537.Man_returns_home_in_early_hours_to_find_front_door_ajar/?ref=mrb&lp=26

I suspect alcohol was involved.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on May 03, 2016, 11:10:14 pm
http://southendnewsnetwork.com/news/99s-and-69s-parents-outraged-after-friendly-southend-ice-cream-van-lady-is-exposed-as-hooker/

Another excellent piece.  :D

Quote
Miss Jollop’s suspension means that there will no longer be any outlets for Giusloppi Ice Cream in Southend On Sea, and other local ices traders are getting ready to apply for exclusive trading rights on her patch. This isn’t the first time that an ice cream van owner has been suspended in Southend for getting involved in illegal activities, with more than 500 complaints being made in 2014 after Westcliff licensee Nigel Mugabe was caught funnelling profits from his soft scoop operation into Zimbabwean arms exports.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on May 04, 2016, 10:20:19 pm
No prizes for guessing where this story is set:

(https://farm8.staticflickr.com/7796/26726749152_e9f17d49cb_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/GHKznS)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on May 04, 2016, 10:36:31 pm
Obviously not Gotham.


Yes, mine is the full-length black leather coat.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on May 06, 2016, 09:48:42 pm
It would work in a fair few towns; the Northampton goths used to hang out in St Giles' churchyard.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on May 06, 2016, 09:50:24 pm
It's Whitby!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on May 07, 2016, 10:52:59 am
Man trapped for 9 hours under cheese
http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/05/06/search-for-missing-person-after-shropshire-warehouse-collapse/free-lead2/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on May 07, 2016, 11:58:13 am
Man trapped for 9 hours under cheese
http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/05/06/search-for-missing-person-after-shropshire-warehouse-collapse/free-lead2/

Quote
“The shelves were 80 metres high stacked full of cheese.”
Read more at http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/05/06/search-for-missing-person-after-shropshire-warehouse-collapse/free-lead2/#oCEoKjcPaurLq00i.99

80 meters? really? Or is that some sub editor adding a zero?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on May 07, 2016, 12:30:24 pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iMjFoT7yWE
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: David Martin on May 07, 2016, 07:35:37 pm
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/rampage/wp/2016/05/07/ivy-league-economist-interrogated-for-doing-math-on-american-airlines-flight/
Member of Al-gebra, or drinking and deriving?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on May 07, 2016, 09:18:01 pm
Well, Hmm, yebbut.
I'd not expect a member of the general public to recognise mathematical notation.

It's probably reasonable to flag a concern on the flimsy basis that someone's behaviour seems 'not quite right', however wrong you may be.
But the response needs to be proportionate to the flimsiness of the concern.

Perhaps if he'd just responded along the lines of 'Oh, no. I'm just going to a conference, and I've got these really hard maths problems to solve before I get there.' would have worked better for all concerned.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on May 08, 2016, 10:53:37 am
Well you can't be too careful with these weapons of math destruction.

As for recognising mathematical symbols - I once whiled away an extremely boring works meeting by doing some of my OU maths assignment on my notepad, the person sitting next to me later remarked how impressed she was that I was taking notes of the meeting in shorthand  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on May 08, 2016, 02:56:20 pm
It would work in a fair few towns; the Northampton goths used to hang out in St Giles' churchyard.

Or outside McDonald's, ready for the showdown with the Spooky kids
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on May 08, 2016, 08:24:28 pm
Well, Hmm, yebbut.
I'd not expect a member of the general public to recognise mathematical notation.

Herein lies a large chunk of what's wrong with society.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on May 10, 2016, 04:29:16 pm
A propos of the Waitrose barney as described in Southend News Network, above, I give you this:-

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14480816.Police_called_to_break_up_fights_over_parking_spaces_as_thousands_flock_to_Southend_seafront/?ref=mrb&lp=2

Sadly, I fear that fighting over parking spaces is quite normal in Southend.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on May 10, 2016, 06:15:25 pm
A propos of the Waitrose barney as described in Southend News Network, above, I give you this:-

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14480816.Police_called_to_break_up_fights_over_parking_spaces_as_thousands_flock_to_Southend_seafront/?ref=mrb&lp=2

Sadly, I fear that fighting over parking spaces is quite normal in England.

FTFY.

The story could almost have been rewritten verbatim substituting 'Ruislip Lido' for Southend.

Hillingdon Council have enlarged and resurfaced the car park at the Lido without changing the the approach roads. Resulting gridlock meant only those on foot had any chance of arrival.
David waited ages for a bus but then couldn't board due to overcrowding. Buses were cancelled or turned early in the gridlock.
Some folk will no doubt believe that creating more parking will improve matters.
Bless!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on May 11, 2016, 09:51:40 am
http://m.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14478659.Honesty_shop_closes_due_to_dishonesty/?ref=ar
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: David Martin on May 11, 2016, 12:44:30 pm
Something a bit fishy here..  https://www.eveningtelegraph.co.uk/fp/strange-tail-of-trout-fish-found-in-post-boxes-across-west-dundee/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on May 11, 2016, 08:02:45 pm
This fishy crime would never have happened on Chris Grayling's watch.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 11, 2016, 08:17:27 pm
Just don't :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on May 15, 2016, 08:59:45 pm

UPDATE: Shocked Exeter residents tell of armed police operation following pizza toppings assault (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/UPDATE-Police-issue-statement-armed-police-arrest/story-29275688-detail/story.html)

It's the Domino effect.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on May 15, 2016, 10:24:07 pm
Just don't :demon:
So I can't mention First Ministers of Scotland?  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on May 15, 2016, 10:34:34 pm
Football match in Manchester cancelled because someone left a dummy bomb behind after a training exercise.  :facepalm:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36297390 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/36297390)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: bernard on May 16, 2016, 12:55:57 pm
Graffiti artist targets Stroud potholes with huge penis (http://www.gloucestercitizen.co.uk/Graffiti-artist-targets-Stroud-potholes-huge/story-29278244-detail/story.html#ixzz48oppE6Kr)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on May 17, 2016, 10:09:07 am
This is the sort of accident you get in North Yorkshire market towns. Never mind a brick through your window what about a straw bale ?

http://www.gazetteherald.co.uk/news/14482590.Straw_bales_smash_through_Malton_shop_window___with_pictures/?ref=mr&lp=18


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on May 24, 2016, 02:36:57 pm
Some Christian on Christian violence in Norwich.

http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/crime/supporter_headbutts_fan_during_christian_league_youth_tournament_in_norwich_1_4547027 (http://www.edp24.co.uk/news/crime/supporter_headbutts_fan_during_christian_league_youth_tournament_in_norwich_1_4547027)

A little old lady proved to be a reliable witness

"A 63-year-old woman, who lives in the Sale Road area, but who did not want to be named, did not see the incident but said there were lots of people watching."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on May 24, 2016, 10:09:02 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14512841.Don_t_let_your_dog_suffer_kebab_horror_this_barbecue_season/?ref=mr&lp=12

Sadly this isn't a cautionary tale of what hot chilli sauce can do to a dog's rear end, nor is it a solution to the mystery of how your local Turkish food emporium can sell you a full pound of "lamb" for only £3.50.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on May 24, 2016, 10:24:30 pm
Cornwall taxi service takes the PISS.
But not for long.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-36370028 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-36370028)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on May 26, 2016, 11:23:59 am
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on May 26, 2016, 11:40:04 am
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Good to see Bell End in top position.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on May 26, 2016, 12:39:55 pm


Good to see Bell End in top position.

That's begging a smutty response but my smut box is not working atm.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: robgul on May 26, 2016, 12:50:07 pm
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Good to see Bell End in top position.

.. and at #8 - I was slightly shocked last week when riding through Upton-on-Severn (Worcs) to have the word Minge pop up on the OS map screen on my Garmin (perhaps "pop up" isn't quite the expression, but you know what I mean)

Rob
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 26, 2016, 06:28:15 pm
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Dr Larrington lived in #10 from that list as a Penniless Student Oafette.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on May 28, 2016, 12:57:39 am
None of them as good as Nob End. Which is near Ringley, believe it or not...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on May 28, 2016, 11:15:16 am
I see Nob End is listed but I thought there was a Knob End within cycling distance of here, possibly in Hertfordshire.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on May 28, 2016, 03:48:05 pm
http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14510716.Mum_punched_in_face_as_row_over_naughty_children_sparks_pub_brawl/?ref=ar

I would have preferred this to have been in the Southend News Network, but sadly it's true.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on May 29, 2016, 10:36:42 pm
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Good to see Bell End in top position.
I used to ride through Bell End quite often with Beacon RCC but never saw an actual sign.  It does appear on an OS map, though.

I'm indebted to mattc for pointing out the truly obscene Cumnor Rise Road (say it quickly) in Oxford.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on May 29, 2016, 11:16:25 pm
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Good to see Bell End in top position.
I used to ride through Bell End quite often with Beacon RCC but never saw an actual sign.  It does appear on an OS map, though.

I'm indebted to mattc for pointing out the truly obscene Cumnor Rise Road (say it quickly) in Oxford.

If you say it quickly in Cambridge it sounds just as rude.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on May 29, 2016, 11:27:27 pm
and if you cycle up Gospel Pass, you are sure to admire Lord Hereford's Knob
(twmpa in Welsh)

I think some forumites admired his outline on a Saturday morning foray.....
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: meddyg on May 29, 2016, 11:30:39 pm
meanwhile, further along the track in Wales

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/fears-sheep-may-go-on-psychotic-rampage-through-welsh-village-after-eating-fly-tipped-cannabis-a7049326.html (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/fears-sheep-may-go-on-psychotic-rampage-through-welsh-village-after-eating-fly-tipped-cannabis-a7049326.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 29, 2016, 11:34:59 pm
and if you cycle up Gospel Pass, you are sure to admire Lord Hereford's Knob
(twmpa in Welsh)

I think some forumites admired his outline on a Saturday morning foray.....

Which is, of course, famed in Song if not Legend:

Quote from: nb10
Twmpa, Twmpa, you'd better bring a jumper
It gets pretty chilly on top of Lord Hereford's Knob
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on June 02, 2016, 12:14:41 pm
What's really important to the people of St Albans?

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/news/14518188.REVEALED__UK_s_top_10_rudest_place_names___Does_south_Bucks_make_it_in_/)

Fanny Burn (http://www.streetmap.co.uk/map.srf?x=300500&y=706500&z=120&sv=fanny+burn) is missing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on June 03, 2016, 12:00:17 am
and if you cycle up Gospel Pass, you are sure to admire Lord Hereford's Knob
(twmpa in Welsh)

I think some forumites admired his outline on a Saturday morning foray.....


Many years ago I found tyre tracks on Lord Hereford's Knob.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on June 04, 2016, 11:05:40 am
"Testicles the size of an avocado" (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/Man-testicles-size-avocado-banned-Matalan-stores/story-29275318-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on June 07, 2016, 01:48:45 pm
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14540444.Policeman_with__I_love_weed__hat_faces__misconduct_hearing/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on June 08, 2016, 01:20:11 pm
http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/honeymoon-ends-tears-after-visit-11420094
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on June 08, 2016, 02:05:35 pm
http://www.examiner.co.uk/news/west-yorkshire-news/honeymoon-ends-tears-after-visit-11420094
That woman needs to get some f**king perspective in her life.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on June 08, 2016, 08:13:44 pm
And to stop carrying a teddy bear!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on June 10, 2016, 09:35:57 am
Too "good" a news story for this thread, but also too good not to post *somewhere*:

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/seagull-turned-bright-orange-after-11448715
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on June 10, 2016, 10:01:59 am
Person parks car shocker (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2016/06/10/smart-car-driver-finds-squeezes-in-to-space-on-shropshire-street/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on June 10, 2016, 12:32:48 pm
Too "good" a news story for this thread, but also too good not to post *somewhere*:

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/seagull-turned-bright-orange-after-11448715

Mr Larrington did, somewhere else.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on June 10, 2016, 09:31:17 pm
People don't take their litter home and are labelled irresponsible by council that removed bins to save money.
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14548817.__39_Irresponsible_late_night_litterers__39__to_blame_for_overflowing_Christchurch_bins/?ref=mr&lp=19 (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14548817.__39_Irresponsible_late_night_litterers__39__to_blame_for_overflowing_Christchurch_bins/?ref=mr&lp=19)

Quelle surprise!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: asterix on June 11, 2016, 09:40:37 am
Speeder caught doing 110mph "wanted to get home to see his dog" (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14550627.Speeder_caught_doing_110mph__wanted_to_get_home_to_see_his_dog_/?ref=mr&lp=14)  See picture of Dog.

 Drifting cruise liner rescued by firefighters
 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14550838.Drifting_cruise_liner_rescued_by_firefighters/?ref=mr&lp=15)

On the River Ouse.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on June 11, 2016, 11:02:38 am
Speeder caught doing 110mph "wanted to get home to see his dog" (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14550627.Speeder_caught_doing_110mph__wanted_to_get_home_to_see_his_dog_/?ref=mr&lp=14)  See picture of Dog.
Library picture of generic dog, in fact.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: asterix on June 11, 2016, 11:22:27 am
Speeder caught doing 110mph "wanted to get home to see his dog" (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14550627.Speeder_caught_doing_110mph__wanted_to_get_home_to_see_his_dog_/?ref=mr&lp=14)  See picture of Dog.
Library picture of generic dog, in fact.

Exactly.  AKA not trying too hard.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on June 27, 2016, 02:51:00 pm
Thanks Farage, Gove and Johnson for giving utter twats the green light...

Quote
Anti-Polish cards in Huntingdon after EU referendum
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-36633388 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-36633388)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 12, 2016, 09:22:40 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14613205.Anger_as_grass_cutters_leave_a_mess/

Poor quality grass cutting in Swindon.  First Brexit, now this.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 17, 2016, 06:48:40 pm
http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/middlesbrough-train-late-after-escaped-11622537

Worth it for the Pokemon reference at the end.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on July 17, 2016, 07:53:50 pm
http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teesside-news/middlesbrough-train-late-after-escaped-11622537

Worth it for the Pokemon reference at the end.



being delayed on the way to Middlesbrough is a bonus.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on July 18, 2016, 03:51:27 pm
Quote
TransPennine Express says Friday’s train from Manchester to Middlesbrough was late by 14 minutes after it escaped from a farm which caused “mayhem” on the track.

Shirley, if it hadn't escaped from the farm it wouldn't have got to Middlesbrough at all. ???
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 21, 2016, 12:14:32 pm
http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/man-builds-his-own-brexit-border-control-out-of-wheelie-bins/story-29531770-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on July 21, 2016, 01:11:45 pm
that paper is amazing.

http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/the-steps-are-too-tall-you-tell-us-why-you-re-snubbing-the-bridge/story-29462277-detail/story.html (http://www.lincolnshireecho.co.uk/the-steps-are-too-tall-you-tell-us-why-you-re-snubbing-the-bridge/story-29462277-detail/story.html)
Quote
"Put a chip shop at the top. That way people will use it."
It's like the Southend News network, except that it is real.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 21, 2016, 04:18:17 pm
Quote
TransPennine Express says Friday’s train from Manchester to Middlesbrough was late by 14 minutes after it escaped from a farm which caused “mayhem” on the track.

Shirley, if it hadn't escaped from the farm it wouldn't have got to Middlesbrough at all. ???
I reckon Middlesbrough is a pretty good place for a train farm. Or have I misunderstood and it was actually a mayhem farm? Is that a variety of maize?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: tiermat on July 21, 2016, 05:55:55 pm
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on July 22, 2016, 12:20:25 am
Happy ending cos we all need cheering up...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-36860621 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-36860621)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 22, 2016, 12:21:51 am
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

Or Derby.  Maybe that's just battery trains, rather than the free-range ones.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on July 22, 2016, 09:17:43 am
Some nice news from Sheffield.

Quote
Children find Sheffield burglary victim's jewellery


A woman who had jewellery stolen in a burglary three years ago has been reunited with it thanks to children who found it in woodland.
Doris Wilcock, 93, from Sheffield, said she was over the moon after South Yorkshire Police returned some of the stolen items.
They were found by Tyler and Amelia Exelby, who thought they had found some lost treasure.
Mrs Wilcock met with the children to thank them.
She told Tyler, 10, and Amelia, nine,: "You are my heroes."
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-36860621 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-36860621)
:thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on July 22, 2016, 09:48:51 am
Good  thing they weren't playing Pokémon instead!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on July 22, 2016, 01:42:18 pm
Bzzzt!  :) ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 22, 2016, 02:20:15 pm
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

Or Derby.  Maybe that's just battery trains, rather than the free-range ones.

Whither Crewe?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on July 26, 2016, 06:00:17 pm
Anyone ever driven to a football match and forgotten where they left the car?

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/mystery-deepens-over-liverpool-fc-11665875 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/mystery-deepens-over-liverpool-fc-11665875)

My initial thought was that it must have been stolen but apparently not.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 26, 2016, 09:47:47 pm
Very special fried rice.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14643448.Father_speaks_of_his_disgust_after_discovering_rubber_dummy_in_bag_of_Iceland_rice/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on July 26, 2016, 11:44:37 pm
Dummy's gone to Iceland!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on July 27, 2016, 12:16:10 pm
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

Or Derby.  Maybe that's just battery trains, rather than the free-range ones.

Whither Crewe?
It has, rather.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 28, 2016, 06:12:10 am
http://m.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14644550.Man_had_cocaine_under_foreskin_while_naked_in_Homebase_car_park/

How gloriously sleazy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on July 28, 2016, 07:17:45 am
It is says something for Swindon that it was shouting and making a nuisance of  himself that got the members of public to take action, not the nakedness.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on July 28, 2016, 09:41:57 am
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

It was for 150 years. The A3 Pacifics (Flying Scotsman etc) and the A4 Pacifics (Mallard etc) were built there and diesel locos after the end of steam. I visited several times for open days with my Dad who worked for BR for decades. It was closed in 2007 and demolished to make way for a housing estate :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 28, 2016, 09:18:46 pm
The Pacific builds were split between Darlington and Doncaster (North British also built some under contract).   Darlington was the old NER works and Doncaster the old GNR works.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on July 28, 2016, 10:21:06 pm
It is says something for Swindon that it was shouting and making a nuisance of  himself that got the members of public to take action, not the nakedness.
Painful as it is to say something positive about Swindonites, I must agree.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on August 03, 2016, 02:02:34 pm
An everyday story of villainy. http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/man-struck-in-the-head-by-gang-of-youths-in-surrey-as-he-tried-to-prevent-them-stealing-motorbikes/story-29576036-detail/story.html (http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/man-struck-in-the-head-by-gang-of-youths-in-surrey-as-he-tried-to-prevent-them-stealing-motorbikes/story-29576036-detail/story.html)

But who's that investigating?


Quote
Investigating officer PC Bear Grilli said: "The victim has stepped in and tried to stop the group of youths from taking the motorbikes and has ended up being assaulted for his trouble.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on August 03, 2016, 05:56:22 pm
Alleged drug dealer hides cocaine wrap NSFW
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: marcusjb on August 03, 2016, 09:04:38 pm
Local road closure may require the launch of a hardship fund as the cost of taxis may be increased for those off to watch the polo:

"Ham Polo club manager Robert Allton said he feared the need to take detours could both discourage visitors and drive up taxi fares for those who do travel to the polo grounds."

These are very troubling times!

http://www.richmondandtwickenhamtimes.co.uk/news/14659977.Richmond_Park_traffic_jams_and_long_detours_through_Kingston__caused_by_Petersham_Road_closure_/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on August 03, 2016, 09:42:28 pm
Recall Parliament!  Something Must Be Done!



Taxis?  I guess if they don't have their own chauffeurs then an increase in a taxi fair would be noticeable.  It's what happens when you let the middle classes in, I assume.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Poacher on August 04, 2016, 08:15:34 am
Out of all the hordes of mobility scooters in East Lincolnshire, it's inevitable that some drivers are over the limit:
http://lincolnshirereporter.co.uk/2016/08/man-charged-with-mobility-scooter-drink-driving-after-skegness-mcdonalds-standoff/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on August 04, 2016, 01:13:22 pm
Out of all the hordes of mobility scooters in East Lincolnshire, it's inevitable that some drivers are over the limit:
http://lincolnshirereporter.co.uk/2016/08/man-charged-with-mobility-scooter-drink-driving-after-skegness-mcdonalds-standoff/

I note that they've avoided committing journalism and not said anything about *why* the staff refused to serve him.  Was he too drunk and obnoxious to purchase a McNasty burger, or did he fall foul of some zero tolerance audaxer policy?  The public wants to know...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on August 09, 2016, 03:36:03 pm
Seagull Tandoori

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-37015956 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-gloucestershire-37015956)

Seems it's the second one to do it which makes you wonder exactly what the rules are for storing cooking ingredients in South Wales.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rafletcher on August 09, 2016, 03:47:03 pm
Out of all the hordes of mobility scooters in East Lincolnshire, it's inevitable that some drivers are over the limit:
http://lincolnshirereporter.co.uk/2016/08/man-charged-with-mobility-scooter-drink-driving-after-skegness-mcdonalds-standoff/

I note that they've avoided committing journalism and not said anything about *why* the staff refused to serve him.  Was he too drunk and obnoxious to purchase a McNasty burger, or did he fall foul of some zero tolerance audaxer policy?  The public wants to know...

I think the roolz are cars only in the drive-thru. I recall a horse rider (onna horse at the time) being refused service too.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on August 09, 2016, 07:09:44 pm
https://www.facebook.com/southendnewsnetwork/videos/1047567521989387/

Very amusing!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on August 12, 2016, 10:48:21 am
There goes the neighborhood! Any thoughts, Wow...?

http://www.rayleighexpress.com/#!Southend-POLICE-Face-BAN-from-Buying-Lunch-in-Uniform/cjds/57ab42360cf2911bc51f1c1b
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on August 12, 2016, 07:36:41 pm
I think it's silly silly season satire.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on August 14, 2016, 12:16:14 pm
I see two of Dorset's lovely beaches are amongst the best nationwide for 4G signal.
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14679434.The_two_Dorset_beaches_ranked_best_in_the_UK_for_4G_signal/?ref=mr&lp=7 (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14679434.The_two_Dorset_beaches_ranked_best_in_the_UK_for_4G_signal/?ref=mr&lp=7)

I don't think 4G signal approaches my list of criteria for choosing a beach. I like:
Soft Sand
Clean water
Safe swimming
Good weather
Nice food
Various amusements & things to do
Easy transport

Call me old-fashioned...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on August 14, 2016, 01:57:13 pm
To which I will add "a taciturn Mexican with a pickup truck full of sturdy giant toe straps to haul damnfool tourists' cars out of soft sand".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on August 14, 2016, 02:05:59 pm
And I'll add "absence of smokers".

Seriously, there are few things in life as repulsive as wading barefoot through someone else's ash tray.   :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on August 14, 2016, 02:11:39 pm
Dog turds on those beaches where it is permitted to 'exercise' empty dogs... :sick:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on August 14, 2016, 02:18:14 pm
To which I will add "a taciturn Mexican with a pickup truck full of sturdy giant toe straps to haul damnfool tourists' cars out of soft sand".
Ya godda hand it to dem Mexicans; they sure do have 'em some stuuurdy  toe straps!    /badtexanaccent
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on August 14, 2016, 04:38:25 pm
And I'll add "absence of smokers".

Seriously, there are few things in life as repulsive as wading barefoot through someone else's ash tray.   :hand:

Oh, yes.   Building a sandcastle in someone else's ash tray comes close though.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Charlotte on August 19, 2016, 01:53:58 pm
Quote
Ealing Based North Korean Deputy Ambassador Defects To South

http://www.ealingtoday.co.uk/default.asp?section=info&page=eanorthkorea001.htm
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: DrMekon on August 19, 2016, 03:54:54 pm
Quote
Why does Hull smell?

http://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/mystery-smell-sensed-in-hull-city-centre/story-29634127-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on August 21, 2016, 09:51:21 pm
And I'll add "absence of smokers".

Seriously, there are few things in life as repulsive as wading barefoot through someone else's ash tray.   :hand:

Oh, yes.   Building a sandcastle in someone else's ash tray comes close though.

Ooh, this (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/place/Praia+da+Adraga/@38.8036198,-9.4849409,3a,75y,90t/data=!3m8!1e2!3m6!1s-csQnnXJOQew%2FV7IowudYoeI%2FAAAAAAAAVPw%2F9MoJaYY00L4wdy6XopAZMjO_oyKNedUkACLIB!2e4!3e12!6s%2F%2Flh4.googleusercontent.com%2F-csQnnXJOQew%2FV7IowudYoeI%2FAAAAAAAAVPw%2F9MoJaYY00L4wdy6XopAZMjO_oyKNedUkACLIB%2Fs270-k-no%2F!7i3120!8i4160!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x2032e3358d8d55d0!8m2!3d38.8042537!4d-9.4848061!6m1!1e1?hl=en=) seems like a reasonable idea! 

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on August 31, 2016, 09:56:19 pm
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/were-hundreds-cyclists-riding-through-11826347

This from a city where Critical Mass regularly struggles to achieve double figures.   :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on August 31, 2016, 10:25:56 pm
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

It was for 150 years. The A3 Pacifics (Flying Scotsman etc) and the A4 Pacifics (Mallard etc) were built there and diesel locos after the end of steam. I visited several times for open days with my Dad who worked for BR for decades. It was closed in 2007 and demolished to make way for a housing estate :(

Last time I was passing through king's cross I noticed a new statue of Nigel Gresley, looks like your typical engineer to me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on August 31, 2016, 10:40:25 pm
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/were-hundreds-cyclists-riding-through-11826347

This from a city where Critical Mass regularly struggles to achieve double figures.   :o

Very good.   :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: jsabine on August 31, 2016, 11:00:28 pm
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/were-hundreds-cyclists-riding-through-11826347

This from a city where Critical Mass regularly struggles to achieve double figures.   :o

Very good.   :thumbsup:

“There were a lot of them, they looked like teenagers. They seemed like they were having fun, doing wheelies and some had some masks on."

It sounds terrible. I think they should be banned.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on September 01, 2016, 08:13:15 am
I thought that Doncaster was, traditionally, where the train farms were?

It was for 150 years. The A3 Pacifics (Flying Scotsman etc) and the A4 Pacifics (Mallard etc) were built there and diesel locos after the end of steam. I visited several times for open days with my Dad who worked for BR for decades. It was closed in 2007 and demolished to make way for a housing estate :(

Last time I was passing through king's cross I noticed a new statue of Nigel Gresley, looks like your typical engineer to me.

Only the statue isn't complete!  The duck is missing!
For those who don't understand, the statue as originally designed, and approved by those who paid for it, included a mallard duck, as a nod to the locomotive Mallard, and the fact that he liked ducks, and had mallards in his garden.  this would also have engaged the public, who would have wondered why that old bloke had a duck by him, and looked to see why.  However, his grandson, who was not paying for it, insisted that the duck was "demeaning" so it was removed, which has caused major grief in the Gresley society, which is composed largely of old fossils with no sense of humour, (sadly the more interesting ones left in disgust at the serious failure of democracy that had been committed). 

Now what is the grandson's profession?  Go on, have a guess.... 

He's a duck breeder... You couldn't make it up.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on September 01, 2016, 01:33:24 pm
What duck?
</pTerry>
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Speshact on September 07, 2016, 06:50:04 pm
http://www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/did-you-see-the-grain-102075/
Medway spectators miss chimney demolition as looking the wrong way
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on September 07, 2016, 10:33:01 pm
http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/were-hundreds-cyclists-riding-through-11826347

This from a city where Critical Mass regularly struggles to achieve double figures.   :o

Quote
He said: “A hang-on-the-back and do wheelies on the Coventry Road charity bike ride. There were 200 of them, all across the road, no helmuts or anything on. It was pretty dangerous. I was on the bus and there were a couple of them banging on the bus.”

What have the Germans done for us?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on September 09, 2016, 09:02:22 pm
From that twitter,

(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cr725HTWIAA-LuG.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on September 13, 2016, 03:48:57 pm
Car keys found (http://www.wiltsglosstandard.co.uk/news/14738896.Car_keys_found_in_Bourton_on_the_Water_held_at_Stow_on_the_Wold_police_station/?ref=mr&lp=15)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 18, 2016, 12:35:51 pm
Hope the yacf ironometer is working...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-37395593 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-37395593)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on September 18, 2016, 12:44:40 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 21, 2016, 02:05:06 pm
Family of sweet shop thieves return to pay.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-37427897 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-37427897)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on September 23, 2016, 08:35:32 pm
Laundering (http://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/egan-170k-in-mint-gold-allegedly-smuggled-in-body-cavity-judge-hears), you say...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on September 23, 2016, 10:18:34 pm
Laundering (http://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/egan-170k-in-mint-gold-allegedly-smuggled-in-body-cavity-judge-hears), you say...

Added a missing = sign for ease of use.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on September 23, 2016, 10:27:35 pm
Laundering (http://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/egan-170k-in-mint-gold-allegedly-smuggled-in-body-cavity-judge-hears), you say...

Who does he think he is, Tywin Lannister?  :demon:

ETA - And the judge's name... http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=doody  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on September 23, 2016, 10:46:40 pm
Thanks. I fixed it!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on September 27, 2016, 01:04:47 pm
Quote
'Painful erection' spiders found in family's fruit

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-37472013 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-37472013)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 28, 2016, 12:41:54 pm
A nice yicky one from Swindon

http://m.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14768736.Family_s_shock_as_dog_urine_pours_through_ceiling/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PaulF on September 29, 2016, 11:34:22 am
Quote
An employee at Abingdon Health and Wellbeing Centre, who wished to remain anonymous, said: "There is something going on but I do not know what.

"Somebody came in and said police cars are outside but I have not seen any.

"We are open as normal."



http://www.oxfordtimes.co.uk/news/14766465.Large_police_presence_and_helicopter_hovering_in_Abingdon/?ref=mr&lp=18
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on September 29, 2016, 07:40:45 pm
"Woman pictured performing sex act with dinosaur an 'all time low' for Exmouth"

Apparently is was a model of a T-Rex emerging from its shell.

Link to Excess and Error (as our local rag is nicknamed) (http://www.exeterexpressandecho.co.uk/adult-performing-sex-act-with-dinosaur-sparks-an-all-time-low-for-exmouth/story-29758442-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on October 02, 2016, 11:47:44 am
Blimey, I hope the people of Exmouth don't learn where those children once emerged from.

Isn't there's an entire dino-sex thing going on anyway?

And where's the head?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 08, 2016, 09:23:19 pm
Long wait over as Kent County Council agree to replace crushed bollard in Sandwich (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/sandwich/news/crushed-bollard-to-finally-be-103662/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 08, 2016, 09:26:37 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14789188.Swindon_railway_station_prepares_for_the_arrival_of_electricity/ (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14789188.Swindon_railway_station_prepares_for_the_arrival_of_electricity/)

We'll have hot running water and dial-up internet by 2050, you mark my words.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on October 08, 2016, 09:44:45 pm
It must have been a slow news day at my local rag yesterday:

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/fleas-with-massive-penises-could-invade-bedrooms-this-autumn-in-their-millions-1-7618780
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 08, 2016, 09:47:17 pm
"Fancy coming back to my place?  I'm hung like a flea."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 09, 2016, 11:59:16 pm
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/boy-hidden-message-heineken-bottle-hampshire-men-cocaine-coke-a7350921.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on October 10, 2016, 12:34:00 pm
Blimey, I hope the people of Exmouth don't learn where those children once emerged from.

Isn't there's an entire dino-sex thing going on anyway?

And where's the head?

The head went in a separate vandal attack – no known sexual motive.   See also the psychedelic rhinos in the area.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 10, 2016, 09:25:06 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14791078.UPDATE__Multiple_clown_sightings_cause_panic_across_Swindon/?ref=ar
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on October 10, 2016, 09:58:48 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14791078.UPDATE__Multiple_clown_sightings_cause_panic_across_Swindon/?ref=ar

The Shadow Cabinet have been out canvassing, then?  :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Polar Bear on October 10, 2016, 10:04:14 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14791078.UPDATE__Multiple_clown_sightings_cause_panic_across_Swindon/?ref=ar

The Shadow Cabinet have been out canvassing, then?  :demon:

There are close to 600 clowns in parliament.   The SNP have thus far imo proven to behave with greater wisdom and intellect than the established bunch.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 10, 2016, 10:05:42 pm
I tell you what, I'd be bricking it if I were booked to open a new fast-food outlet as Ronald McDonald in the next three weeks.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 11, 2016, 01:01:56 pm
Top Tip: When threatened by a clown while driving your motor-car, do not drive away from the clown at high speed, thereby risking an accident.  Instead, jam it into first, floor it and drive straight at the japester while shouting "Laugh THIS off, you red-nosed jizzbadger", and let Darwin sort it out.

Bonus points for pouring a bucket of whitewash over the twitching, bleeding corpse :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: LittleWheelsandBig on October 11, 2016, 01:08:27 pm
People are scared of idiots dressed as clowns? Grow up and scare them off.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 11, 2016, 01:15:09 pm
Apparently some of the clowns are tooled-up with hammers, baseball bats and similar Heavy Things.  This may stack the odds in their favour.  Shoot them and burn the bodies.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 11, 2016, 01:51:44 pm
It's getting serious: Clowns hit out at 'creepy' pranksters (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-37611993)

I thought that sort of thing was reserved for when a member of $ethnic_minority committed a terror offence.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on October 11, 2016, 01:57:22 pm
Beginning to sound like something from Terry Pratchett.

[I can't remember which book had the bit about clown guilds, funerals etc - but it was bloody funny]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 12, 2016, 02:10:10 pm
I tell you what, I'd be bricking it if I were booked to open a new fast-food outlet as Ronald McDonald in the next three weeks.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-37630460
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 12, 2016, 03:09:53 pm
I tell you what, I'd be bricking it if I were booked to open a new fast-food outlet as Ronald McDonald in the next three weeks.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-37630460

Well, there had to be at least one good thing to come out of it :thumbsup:

According to some prawn on Friendspace it is also deterring Small People from going out on the streets and Demanding Money Goods with Menaces (I believe it's also known as "Trick Or Treat").  If this is the case the butler will be relieved as he won't have to set up those automatically-trigged Spandaus I bought from the nice ex-Stasi officer at a car boot sale in Frankfurt an der Oder a few years back.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on October 12, 2016, 04:07:34 pm
The headline writers at bbc.co.uk are treating clownageddon with a touch of tongue in their cheek. Here are the 3 "related" stories:


Creepy clown craze: How dangerous are clowns really? 

Creepy clown craze: 'Nobody's laughing' 

'Creepy clown' sorry for chainsaw stunt amid rise in sightings 

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 12, 2016, 05:13:12 pm
Tiger sausage rolls might bite back (or give you the shits a little)

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14797614.Recall_on_allergen_sausage_rolls/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on October 17, 2016, 04:30:50 pm
Local man doesn't actually manage something  (http://www.walesfarmer.co.uk/sport/14806051.So_close_to_ultimate_feat_for_Cardigan_darts_man/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on October 18, 2016, 10:31:34 pm
Model company aims for realism (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/business/hornby-rail-replacement-bus-set/)  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on October 18, 2016, 11:13:02 pm
Model company aims for realism (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/business/hornby-rail-replacement-bus-set/)  :D

You do realise that it's a (mostly) fake news site, don't you?  ;)

Quote
You couldn’t make it up. Suffolk is full of strange and wonderful stories, and our tales explode across social media and get repeated by gullible mainstream media, including Sky News and national newspapers.

Join our vibrant Facebook page for updates and ensuing hilarity whenever someone comments after believing something we have written.

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/about/

;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on October 19, 2016, 04:12:40 am
Yes, I was assuming it was the Suffolk equìvelent of Southend News Network.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on October 20, 2016, 11:30:20 am
Man steals Venetian blind

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-37695164 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-northamptonshire-37695164)

Looking at the picture I'm amazed anyone spotted him.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on October 20, 2016, 01:51:37 pm
Model company aims for realism (http://www.suffolkgazette.com/business/hornby-rail-replacement-bus-set/)  :D

You do realise that it's a (mostly) fake news site, don't you?  ;)

Quote
You couldn’t make it up. Suffolk is full of strange and wonderful stories, and our tales explode across social media and get repeated by gullible mainstream media, including Sky News and national newspapers.

Join our vibrant Facebook page for updates and ensuing hilarity whenever someone comments after believing something we have written.

http://www.suffolkgazette.com/about/

;)

Tim Dunn has been tweeting about his bloody rail replacement bus set for at least a couple of years now.  I always thought he was an amusing colleague, but since that Trainspotting Live programme, I pretend I don't know him!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 21, 2016, 01:18:59 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14816337.Bizarre_incident_in_which_a_line_of_chalk_appeared_on_garden_gate_investigated_by_police/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on October 25, 2016, 04:43:24 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37761668 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37761668)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 25, 2016, 04:52:19 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37761668 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37761668)

Quote
It is a phrase synonymous with 1990s ladette culture, used to define brash party girls in one part of England.

They appear to have misspelled "1970s sexist jokes".
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on October 26, 2016, 02:48:24 pm
<Bzzzzt!>

The BBC is not a provincial news source.

The OED is not a provincial publication.

TOWIE was broadcast UK-wide (and beyond, no doubt!).

It's probably a serious issue, better discussed elsewhere. IMHO
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on October 28, 2016, 02:24:47 pm
"It's our Keith!" (http://www.droitwichadvertiser.co.uk/news/regional/14828435._It_s_our_Keith___Mum_believes_snake_discovered_in_family_s_car_on_M5_belongs_to_son/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 29, 2016, 12:19:38 am
Man suspected of supergluing doors shut (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-37800332)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 29, 2016, 07:38:29 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14830769.Mysterious_unicycle_path_causes_confusion_in_Old_Town/#comments-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on October 29, 2016, 10:13:11 am
I haven't put anything from our paper for a while. There hasn't been anything funny, and mostly the headlines seem to be associated with stabbings.  :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on October 30, 2016, 07:40:34 pm
Unless it is an arsonist burning out a mobile police station set up in association with the stabbings.

http://www.echo-news.co.uk/news/14832371.Arsonists_destroy_police_van_sent_to_reassure_residents_after_double_stabbing/

It could only happen in Southend.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 30, 2016, 10:23:24 pm
I sure it happens so often in ["The Death of the Soul" - Mr Sunshine] it no is longer deemed newsworthy.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on October 31, 2016, 11:16:14 pm
Meanwhile, Southend News Network have put in their bid for this year's Christmas no 1.

https://www.facebook.com/southendnewsnetwork/videos/1159893347423470/

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: billplumtree on November 01, 2016, 12:24:32 pm
http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/14833308.Carnforth_Civic_Hall_gets_new_vacuum_cleaner/

Welcome to my world...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 01, 2016, 01:18:42 pm
http://www.farnhamherald.com/article.cfm?id=114365&headline=Christmas%20shopping%20nad%20pampering%20experience&sectionIs=news&searchyear=2016

This is an utterly beguiling headline.  Surrey sounds more interesting than at first thought.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on November 01, 2016, 01:53:59 pm
http://www.thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk/news/14833308.Carnforth_Civic_Hall_gets_new_vacuum_cleaner/

Welcome to my world...

 ;D

Do they still have the "Spot the sheepdog" competition?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on November 01, 2016, 01:55:44 pm
A file and polish sounds a bit extreme.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: peliroja on November 01, 2016, 04:06:14 pm
Sort of on-topic, this amused us :)

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/10/woman-accidentally-steals-identical-subaru-in-portland.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 01, 2016, 04:09:53 pm
Sort of on-topic, this amused us :)

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/10/woman-accidentally-steals-identical-subaru-in-portland.html

Postman Piers's kevved-up Nova had the same key as my old Corsa.  This would have been much more amusing if they weren't fitted with additional security devices.

I suppose back in the day the only thing stopping people stealing cars by brute-force searching a car park with a handful of keys was that it was quicker to steal them by other methods.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 01, 2016, 06:01:46 pm
A cow-orker once heard her car alarm going off, She rushed to the car park at the back of the branch ti find a befuddled customer sitting in the wrong dark blue Maestro.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on November 01, 2016, 06:19:04 pm
Two from our local: -

Town Council has a meeting (http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/Town-council-set-to-meet-13b4be0a-9254-4ec1-903c-bf1d4ca87d7d-ds) (Seriously, that was the entire story)

Whitehaven post box to be replaced (http://www.whitehavennews.co.uk/news/Whitehaven-postbox-to-be-replaced-08aa566c-db0c-4acc-8182-91fa3256003c-ds) - Driver crashes car into post box and breaks it, Royal Mail say they will put a post box back there again
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 01, 2016, 06:30:41 pm
Mystery solved over why tourists were visiting a village (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-37820663)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on November 01, 2016, 06:53:35 pm
Mystery solved over why tourists were visiting a village (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-37820663)
Worryingly, I immediately guessed what that story was about.

Boringly, the bbc have used almost all the same text+photos as when they ran the story in July
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36733450
 ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 01, 2016, 06:58:57 pm
China must be a festering hellhole.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on November 02, 2016, 12:45:46 pm
http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/man-cut-off-toe-in-sheffield-store-and-ate-it-1-8211676 (http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/man-cut-off-toe-in-sheffield-store-and-ate-it-1-8211676)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on November 02, 2016, 04:58:01 pm
Some good mangling of the language there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 02, 2016, 05:25:07 pm
Some good mangling of the language there.
ITYM mangling of the phalanges.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on November 15, 2016, 08:16:23 am
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14905347._Unbelievable____Learner_driver_and_supervisor_test_positive_for_drugs/#comments-anchor (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/14905347._Unbelievable____Learner_driver_and_supervisor_test_positive_for_drugs/#comments-anchor)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 15, 2016, 08:08:30 pm
Pop star in Spinal Tap-esque bizarre varnish accident (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14906850.XTC_frontman_recovering_after_varnish_accident/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mcshroom on November 20, 2016, 12:35:04 am
Quote
The pheasant that thinks it's a sheepdog
A pheasant has been showing up to work everyday on a Cumbrian farm, and trying to join in with the sheepdogs.

http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/ (http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 20, 2016, 01:56:58 pm
Quote
The pheasant that thinks it's a sheepdog
A pheasant has been showing up to work everyday on a Cumbrian farm, and trying to join in with the sheepdogs.

http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/ (http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/)

Looks more like a pheasant using standard pheasant predator-avoidance tactics on a farmer's quad bike, to me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: benborp on November 20, 2016, 04:07:27 pm
Quote
The pheasant that thinks it's a sheepdog
A pheasant has been showing up to work everyday on a Cumbrian farm, and trying to join in with the sheepdogs.

http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/ (http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/)

Looks more like a pheasant using standard pheasant predator-avoidance tactics on a farmer's quad bike, to me.

Speaking as the natural prey animal of the homing pheasant, the prospect of encountering one with the intellect of a collie is terrifying
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on November 24, 2016, 01:31:43 pm
Car parking in Brighton gets police attention.

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14925830.Police_close_road_while_car_blocking_driveway_is_removed/#comments-anchor (http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/14925830.Police_close_road_while_car_blocking_driveway_is_removed/#comments-anchor)


Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 24, 2016, 01:56:38 pm
Quote
The pheasant that thinks it's a sheepdog
A pheasant has been showing up to work everyday on a Cumbrian farm, and trying to join in with the sheepdogs.

http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/ (http://www.itv.com/news/border/update/2016-11-18/the-pheasant-that-thinks-its-a-sheepdog/)

Looks more like a pheasant using standard pheasant predator-avoidance tactics on a farmer's quad bike, to me.

Speaking as the natural prey animal of the homing pheasant, the prospect of encountering one with the intellect of a collie is terrifying

Our neighbours have a collie with the intellect of a pheasant...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on November 27, 2016, 09:54:48 am
Sun clears fog from River Clyde (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-38107767).

Seriously!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Deano on November 29, 2016, 01:18:04 am
Breaking news in Rosedale:

(https://c1.staticflickr.com/6/5544/30485034624_5e5e823df7_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/NrRLHf)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 29, 2016, 08:59:06 am
Ah yes, they do chew up the grass a bit.

(http://resources.carsguide.com.au/dodge-ram-pickup-(5).jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on December 01, 2016, 12:44:53 am
That picture of a bloated motor vehicle leads nicely into this week's gem from the Portsmouth News:

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/politics/bentley-driving-travellers-given-notice-to-leave-portsmouth-tax-office-site-1-7706754
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 01, 2016, 08:34:29 am
Quote
Bentley with a tow bar Class

 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 01, 2016, 05:43:20 pm
Immigrants are going to steal Christmas (http://m.plymouthherald.co.uk/immigrant-moths-are-threatening-steal-brussels-sprouts-off-your-christmas-dinner-table/story-29946939-detail/story.html#U5480jjqMBLyss7s.99)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 01, 2016, 07:35:45 pm
Immigrants are going to steal Christmas (http://m.plymouthherald.co.uk/immigrant-moths-are-threatening-steal-brussels-sprouts-off-your-christmas-dinner-table/story-29946939-detail/story.html#U5480jjqMBLyss7s.99)

I can't decide whether that site is another Southend News Network or whether it's just been infiltrated by the readers of Angry People In Local Newspapers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on December 01, 2016, 07:38:24 pm
Quote
Bentley with a tow bar Class

 ;D

They have moved on, to Southampton. (http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/crime/portsmouth-s-posh-travellers-on-the-move-to-southampton-1-7708263)

<beat>

Thus raising the tone of both cities.  :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on December 01, 2016, 07:49:06 pm
Immigrants are going to steal Christmas (http://m.plymouthherald.co.uk/immigrant-moths-are-threatening-steal-brussels-sprouts-off-your-christmas-dinner-table/story-29946939-detail/story.html#U5480jjqMBLyss7s.99)

I can't decide whether that site is another Southend News Network or whether it's just been infiltrated by the readers of Angry People In Local Newspapers.
I *THINK* the stories are genuine, and no dafter than many local papers.

But it looks a fabulous place to work - any headline gets thru, no matter how ludicrous/misleading:
Your individual Chicken McNuggets have names, McDonald's reveals (http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/your-chicken-mcnuggets-have-names-mcdonald-s-reveals/story-29946585-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 01, 2016, 08:30:55 pm
I regret to inform you that the Plymouth Herald is a real newspaper. 

I don't know if it still has a full-page Trago Mills piece every Thursday...that was something to see, combining UKIP-esque ranting against immigrants, local councillors and The Authorities generally, while pimping cheap garden furniture.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jakob W on December 02, 2016, 08:37:10 am
Ah, Trago - where peacocks roam the ground and there's a grotesque statue of an Atlas-like figure groaning under the weight of EU regulation (I'm not making this up...)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 04, 2016, 07:31:15 am
http://m.somersetlive.co.uk/cat-urinating-inside-neighbours-houses-causes-ugly-street-brawl-in-yeovil/story-29952545-detail/story.html

Pissy pussy punchup in Somerset.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on December 04, 2016, 11:24:53 am
It's really true. They don't have doors in the provinces.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on December 04, 2016, 12:51:18 pm
Seal pup loses way in Liverpool

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-38173160 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-merseyside-38173160)

"An RSPCA spokesperson said animal welfare officers believed the seal may have come from the Mersey."

Given the nearest zoo is about 15 miles away and the icerink is right by the river that's a pretty logical guess
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 04, 2016, 01:00:58 pm
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on December 04, 2016, 02:12:48 pm
Child loses garment at primary school.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Cyx3Y-GXAAEdCv1.jpg)

Not just any garment, M&S shorts...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 04, 2016, 02:36:11 pm
Stubborn pigeon brings traffic to halt as it REFUSES to move (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/watch-stubborn-pigeon-brings-traffic-12264858)

Drivers on the Pershore Road give flying rat more consideration than the average cyclist.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on December 04, 2016, 05:19:14 pm
Ah, Trago - where peacocks roam the ground and there's a grotesque statue of an Atlas-like figure groaning under the weight of EU regulation (I'm not making this up...)

On principle I have never been there.  Strangely enough the UKIP rants have recently disappeared from the local ads. T
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on December 04, 2016, 06:55:08 pm
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.

That was an adult which turned up in a field in St Helens. There was a stream running through the field which despite only being 6 inches deep had a distant connection with the sea.

In this case the ice rink is on the Pier Head right next to a deep river. The only mystery is why it decided to climb several flights of steps.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on December 04, 2016, 07:25:36 pm
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.

That was an adult which turned up in a field in St Helens. There was a stream running through the field which despite only being 6 inches deep had a distant connection with the sea.

In this case the ice rink is on the Pier Head right next to a deep river. The only mystery is why it decided to climb several flights of steps.

The lift was out of order?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 05, 2016, 07:18:12 pm
Stray goat goes wild at Carrickfergus shop (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-38205945)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on December 07, 2016, 12:02:29 pm
I'm sure I remember a similar story from a few years back from up that way, with a seal showing up in a field about ten miles from anywhere seal-friendly and speculation that it had followed a boat up the Leeds-Liverpool canal.

That was an adult which turned up in a field in St Helens. There was a stream running through the field which despite only being 6 inches deep had a distant connection with the sea.

In this case the ice rink is on the Pier Head right next to a deep river. The only mystery is why it decided to climb several flights of steps.

The lift was out of order?
:thumbsup: Or maybe it was looking for someone to complain to about the buttons in the lift being too high.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on December 08, 2016, 10:35:37 am
Blimey an article that is actually interesting and informative in the York Press, they are letting standards slip!

The history of York Ham

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/features/features/14947278.Charting_the_history_of_the_York_Ham/

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rr on December 09, 2016, 01:29:35 pm
 newspaper's local Saintsbury's runs out of sandwiches at the end of lunchtime (http://m.essexlive.news/shoppers-are-furious-as-sainsbury-s-chelmsford-has-sold-out-of-sandwiches/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on December 11, 2016, 12:58:40 pm
Quote from: Chief Reporter
In a Southend News Network exclusive, a group of 90’s construction workers have revealed the horrific conditions that were subjected to on a regular basis – they hope that the same mistakes won’t be repeated on building sites in the future.

Stuart Lamming has been elected as the unofficial spokesperson for the group, and he met our Chief Reporter to describe the ‘sheer hell’ that him and his colleagues were subjected to.

He said: ‘Our boss didn’t care whether we lived or died. Many of my friends were blown up, crushed, or were simply encouraged to walk off a cliff and plummet to a horrific death. I can still hear them all scream ‘oh no!’

‘I remember one site where they tried to cover up this terrible existence by playing motivational music for us. In my opinion, The Can Can on a constant 8-bit loop actually did a lot more harm than good.’

‘I finally decided that enough was enough when I walked into a wall and hundreds of other workers just followed me. I was behind a pick axe operator who couldn’t work fast enough and the sheer pressure from the advancing crowd made me pass out.’

‘My brother was lucky enough to get scouted into Sensible Soccer from an early age, and he even managed to win the Champions League with Southend United on 46 separate occasions – my destiny was horrendous in comparison.’

We managed to speak to one construction site manager who was involved in these conditions, and he agreed to speak to our news team if we kept his identity anonymous.

He said: ‘In my defence, we were under huge pressure from the company owner. For every project, our only target was to ensure that a certain percentage of workers returned alive. If we kept within these limits, the upper management were happy.’

‘This sort of carry on would never happen these days with all of the paperwork involved. It was a simpler and happier time.’

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 12, 2016, 05:47:25 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14961755.Workers_evacuated_after_toilet_fire/

Three fire engines and an "aerial appliance" needed to put out a flaming toilet in Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: SteveC on December 12, 2016, 09:29:50 pm
http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/pigeons-now-defecating-from-telegraph-pole-onto-footpath-in-frome-instead-of-from-railway-bridge/story-29976288-detail/story.html (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/pigeons-now-defecating-from-telegraph-pole-onto-footpath-in-frome-instead-of-from-railway-bridge/story-29976288-detail/story.html)

Pigeons now defecating from telegraph pole onto footpath in Frome instead of from railway bridge

It's a tough life in Frome. People can't even pronounce the name of the town properly.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 12, 2016, 10:02:54 pm
I quite liked this one, which was linked from the above:  http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/red-audi-photographed-parked-across-pedestrian-walkway-in-frome/story-29969115-detail/story.html

The idea that such a thing would be news is about as provincial as it gets.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on December 13, 2016, 09:01:01 am
http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/pigeons-now-defecating-from-telegraph-pole-onto-footpath-in-frome-instead-of-from-railway-bridge/story-29976288-detail/story.html (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/pigeons-now-defecating-from-telegraph-pole-onto-footpath-in-frome-instead-of-from-railway-bridge/story-29976288-detail/story.html)

Pigeons now defecating from telegraph pole onto footpath in Frome instead of from railway bridge

It's a tough life in Frome. People can't even pronounce the name of the town properly.
/Oxford joke

The pigeons fly upside down over Swindon because there's nothing there worth shitting on.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on December 13, 2016, 01:14:32 pm
Quote
Sheep gets head stuck in traffic cone on Hertfordshire farm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-38264883 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-38264883)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on December 13, 2016, 01:18:37 pm
Quote
Giant Lego polar bear built by Huntingdon couple

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38268048 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38268048)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on December 14, 2016, 02:06:40 am
Quote
Giant Lego polar bear built by Huntingdon couple

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38268048 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-38268048)

Will it be appearing at Long Itch...?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on December 14, 2016, 04:57:14 pm
Cardigan or Jumper? (http://www.aberaeron-today.co.uk/article.cfm?id=108445&headline=Town%20to%20change%20name%20to%20‘Jumper’%20for%20a%20day!&sectionIs=news&searchyear=2016)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 17, 2016, 12:13:56 am
Birmingham jumps the shark: http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/boxing-day-sales-start-early-12326514
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on December 17, 2016, 12:39:53 am
Birmingham jumps the shark: http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/boxing-day-sales-start-early-12326514

Semi-related, but I've noticed that some shops have started discounting their Christmas stock and then clearing it from the shelves earlier and earlier with each passing year. Or at least, it feels like it...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on December 19, 2016, 08:04:32 pm
In tectonics news:

Glastonbury 'to move every 5 years' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-38369127)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on December 20, 2016, 01:04:35 pm
Quote
Although Essex Police originally thought he died of natural causes, it emerged he had been shot six times.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-38377329 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-38377329)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 20, 2016, 01:28:22 pm
...by a man on the run?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on December 20, 2016, 02:18:56 pm
I guess being shot is the equivalent of natural causes for a gangster
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on December 20, 2016, 02:21:55 pm
...by a man on the run?

And a point to Cudzo for the Mike Oldfield reference...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on January 05, 2017, 11:25:39 am
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jan/04/yorkshires-bookseller-from-hell-regrets-calling-customer-a-pain-in-the-arse?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=207007&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2 (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jan/04/yorkshires-bookseller-from-hell-regrets-calling-customer-a-pain-in-the-arse?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=207007&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2)

Maintaining Yorkshire's reputation.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on January 05, 2017, 05:14:03 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jan/04/yorkshires-bookseller-from-hell-regrets-calling-customer-a-pain-in-the-arse?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=207007&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2 (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2017/jan/04/yorkshires-bookseller-from-hell-regrets-calling-customer-a-pain-in-the-arse?utm_source=esp&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=GU+Today+main+NEW+H+categories&utm_term=207007&subid=13875851&CMP=EMCNEWEML6619I2)

Maintaining Yorkshire's reputation.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY5-0It0acU ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on January 05, 2017, 09:36:57 pm
Customer strikes back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4mPkhohDds (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4mPkhohDds)

A lesson in retailing, they should've made it a bike shop . . .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoPXQ9fotZM (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoPXQ9fotZM)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on January 12, 2017, 08:01:17 am
I'm off to the pub dear
Have you got everything?

Wallet - check
Newspaper - check
Bomb...

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/live-updates-possible-world-war-12440671 (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/live-updates-possible-world-war-12440671)
 :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on January 13, 2017, 12:00:32 am
Given the recent troop movements in Eastern Europe that link has all kinds of scary connotations.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on January 23, 2017, 06:02:26 pm
A whole duck breed (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/15041352.Rare_breed_of_duck_goes_missing_in_Stonehouse/?ref=mr&lp=8) goes missing
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on January 25, 2017, 01:29:17 pm
Panic! Panic!!! Stock up on groceries and make sure the coal bunker's full!

Quote
Snow has already fallen once this month and and now the Met Office has forecast light snow to fall tonight.

Temperatures will drop to -1C at around 9pm.

http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/watford/15046504.It_s_snow_joke__Forecast_worsens_for_Watford/ (http://www.stalbansreview.co.uk/watford/15046504.It_s_snow_joke__Forecast_worsens_for_Watford/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on January 25, 2017, 08:36:31 pm
SNO! Everyone, forget how to drive. Now!!!!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 25, 2017, 11:27:19 pm
I'm not sure they all knew how to begin with...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on January 25, 2017, 11:34:41 pm
In Houston, Tx, snow is rare, but it does sometimes happen.

All it takes is 0.001mm of sno, and the city is grid-locked.
The local TV stations have helichoppers showing stationary traffic on 5 lanes each way on the 610 loop.

Thing is, they don't adjust their driving style to suit the conditions.
They just continue to drive at 60, bumper-to-bumper, and then 'Woah! What happened there!" when they hit ice on the over-bridges.

Go to Colorado, and they know how to deal with, and drive in, snow.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on January 27, 2017, 08:24:44 am
Does New Zealand count as provinces?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-38767179 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-38767179)

Snow - bah! I once lost 12 hours of my life at Toulouse airport for a nanometer of snow, almost missed the last connection at Frankfurt to boot with a sprint across the airport to the closing gate and home for midnight instead of lunchtime.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on January 27, 2017, 02:40:22 pm
Woman gets done for speeding (http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/northern-ireland/woman-frightened-when-officer-pointed-speed-gun-at-car-court-told-35403318.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on January 27, 2017, 02:51:23 pm
That horrible potholed roundabout in Barton-under-Needwood is horribly potholed (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/britains-most-potholed-roundabout-driving-9696528)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: David Martin on January 28, 2017, 12:12:10 pm
https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/local/perth-kinross/358294/police-hunt-vandals-who-hid-dead-fish-around-perthshire-property/

Off you go constable. Something smells a bit fishy about this story..
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on February 06, 2017, 08:30:37 am
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15071324.Boys_took_tractor_to_try_to_get_home_from_night_out/?ref=mrb&lp=5 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15071324.Boys_took_tractor_to_try_to_get_home_from_night_out/?ref=mrb&lp=5)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 13, 2017, 10:12:12 pm
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/718853/Gruffalo-Trail-dogging-site-Horsenden-Hill-Ealing-Council

Maybe one of our Ealing/Perivale posse could confirm this shocking revelation?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 13, 2017, 10:28:44 pm
I expect that coming across a gruffalo in the darkness could put you right off your dogging...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 13, 2017, 10:37:07 pm
Surely the whole point of dogging there is to come across a gruffalo?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 13, 2017, 10:39:02 pm
Also, does the Express really not have anyone who understands the difference between cruising and dogging?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jakob W on February 14, 2017, 07:46:21 am
Their eyes are bloodshot, they wear trainer socks/ the Gruffalos show you their Gruffalo [Ed: that's quite enough thank you]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 14, 2017, 01:48:24 pm
Surely the whole point of dogging there is to come across a gruffalo?
I imagine, if you come across a real gruffalo, the best thing to do is to wipe it off and say sorry.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on February 14, 2017, 03:02:52 pm
http://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/718853/Gruffalo-Trail-dogging-site-Horsenden-Hill-Ealing-Council

Maybe one of our Ealing/Perivale posse could confirm this shocking revelation?

I dunno, but on the verge of yoofhood I flew my RC model glider into a tree there.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 14, 2017, 05:27:22 pm
I guess it could be added to the "looking for badgers" excuse?  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 14, 2017, 06:32:50 pm
Valentine's Day red rose price war between deutsches Supermarkts, for when you really need to spend as little as possible on the love of your life.  Also, people are buying flowers and meals out.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15090452.Love_is_still_in_the_air_as_restaurants_and_florists_see_Valentine_s_Day_trade_bloom/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on February 14, 2017, 07:04:48 pm
I guess it could be added to the "looking for badgers" excuse?  ;D

I was too young for euphemisms, then.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on February 14, 2017, 09:18:13 pm
Donkey gets old and dies (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/britains-oldest-donkey-died-age-12597711)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on February 14, 2017, 09:22:38 pm
Donkey gets old and dies (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/britains-oldest-donkey-died-age-12597711)
That got a whole slot on the TV news yesterday.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on February 14, 2017, 09:33:26 pm
Coventry's finest: Shoplifter who used BRA as a fake baby to hide loot rants: 'Don't call me stupid'
http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/shoplifter-who-used-bra-fake-12567096 (http://www.coventrytelegraph.net/news/shoplifter-who-used-bra-fake-12567096)

...blames her bizarre theft attempt on her failure to do GCSE art.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on February 14, 2017, 09:57:23 pm
Donkey gets old and dies (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/britains-oldest-donkey-died-age-12597711)
That got a whole slot on the TV news yesterday.

It got a whole thread in The Other Place.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on February 14, 2017, 11:45:56 pm
Donkey gets old and dies (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/britains-oldest-donkey-died-age-12597711)

Aw. Poor wee lamb.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on February 15, 2017, 03:24:10 am
Donkey gets old and dies (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/britains-oldest-donkey-died-age-12597711)

It was the second oldest donker ever...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 16, 2017, 08:58:21 pm
http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/15097800.Driving_ban_for_Jesus_after_he_admits_being_twice_the_legal_limit_in_Stroud/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 20, 2017, 04:41:13 pm
Magic paint insufficiently magic for over-entitled house owner. (http://www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/fed-up-householder-sprays-no-12627717)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 20, 2017, 09:58:31 pm
I present this without comment[1]: http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/signs-your-child-computer-hacker-12626527


[1] Plenty of comments available at El Reg (https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/02/20/is_your_child_a_hacker_liverpudlian_parents_handed_cyber_checklist/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on February 20, 2017, 10:11:40 pm
I never realised that you had to wear gloves.  I'll keep a look out for that.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Efrogwr on February 21, 2017, 04:53:57 pm
I present this without comment[1]: http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/signs-your-child-computer-hacker-12626527


[1] Plenty of comments available at El Reg (https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/02/20/is_your_child_a_hacker_liverpudlian_parents_handed_cyber_checklist/)


I clicked the link and my connection went down.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on February 21, 2017, 07:51:48 pm
I present this without comment[1]: http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/signs-your-child-computer-hacker-12626527


[1] Plenty of comments available at El Reg (https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/02/20/is_your_child_a_hacker_liverpudlian_parents_handed_cyber_checklist/)
Gotten? Is there a Liverpool in USAnia?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 23, 2017, 12:23:35 pm
http://www.wiltshire.police.uk/news/3424-police-raid-nuclear-bunker-and-discover-county-s-biggest-cannabis-factory
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tom M on February 24, 2017, 04:40:49 pm
A 36 year old carrier bag:

http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2017/02/24/bag-for-life-does-shropshire-historian-own-britains-oldest-shopping-bag/ (http://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2017/02/24/bag-for-life-does-shropshire-historian-own-britains-oldest-shopping-bag/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on February 24, 2017, 10:05:48 pm
A former colleague and I bonded over our shared love of local newspaper restaurant reviews. I've not heard from him for a while but I was tickled when this popped up in my inbox today from him:

http://yorkshiretimes.co.uk/article/Review-Harvesters-Halifax

Well done the Yorkshire Times for getting in there before the Michelin inspectors discovered it.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on February 24, 2017, 10:15:05 pm
Amazing piece of writing!

Would be GREAT if the could give the correct name for the restaurant and the correct URL!

But I am a pedant...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on February 25, 2017, 09:27:15 am
A former colleague and I bonded over our shared love of local newspaper restaurant reviews. I've not heard from him for a while but I was tickled when this popped up in my inbox today from him:

http://yorkshiretimes.co.uk/article/Review-Harvesters-Halifax

Well done the Yorkshire Times for getting in there before the Michelin inspectors discovered it.
;D
"better than what you get at some of the cheaper burger chains" is pure genius.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on February 25, 2017, 09:42:50 am
Amazing piece of writing!

Would be GREAT if the could give the correct name for the restaurant and the correct URL!

But I am a pedant...

And he claims to have had a "sirlion" steak.  Fresh from the Serengeti?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on February 28, 2017, 01:06:09 pm
Ever the innovators, the BBC appear to have added an 'eye on the provinces' module to their news site: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-12277638
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 28, 2017, 01:11:54 pm
A former colleague and I bonded over our shared love of local newspaper restaurant reviews. I've not heard from him for a while but I was tickled when this popped up in my inbox today from him:

http://yorkshiretimes.co.uk/article/Review-Harvesters-Halifax

Well done the Yorkshire Times for getting in there before the Michelin inspectors discovered it.
;D
"better than what you get at some of the cheaper burger chains" is pure genius.
That line had me literally laughing out loud.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 01, 2017, 12:05:29 am
Do colonies count?

http://www.woodstocksentinelreview.com/2017/02/24/salford-village-cheese-mill-theft-valued-at-6200
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 01, 2017, 01:06:07 am
It's literally a province, so definitely counts.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on March 01, 2017, 04:13:54 pm
A bit old. Sorry.

Cambridge lecturer attends faculty meeting naked.
Nobody mentions it in the meeting.
http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/local-news/cambridge-academic-attends-university-meeting-11976364 (http://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/local-news/cambridge-academic-attends-university-meeting-11976364)

Maybe mildly NSFW, as there's a painting of her nude in the report.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 01, 2017, 04:49:44 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39130580 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39130580)

Not provinces.
In mainstream media.

but...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 02, 2017, 03:24:01 pm
Motorist complains about legal use of mobility scooter (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-39138968)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on March 02, 2017, 03:59:19 pm
Motorist complains about legal use of mobility scooter (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-derbyshire-39138968)
:o In fairness, she'd got a good point.  That part of the north Derby ring road is really busy!  Riding a mobility scooter on there would be like, I dunno, riding a bike along the A63 on a Saturday afternoon. ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 02, 2017, 10:47:48 pm
The problem IMO is that road legal mobility scooters have a maximum speed of 8mph, making them too slow in traffic but too fast for a footway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 02, 2017, 10:57:43 pm
The problem IMHO is that we don't have proper cycling infrastructure, and it's not currently legal to use a mobility scooter on cycling infrastructure.

Upping the speed of road/cyclepath-going scooters to 25kph in line with e-bikes would seem reasonable TAAW.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on March 03, 2017, 08:42:16 am
Upping the speed of road/cyclepath-going scooters to 25kph in line with e-bikes would seem reasonable TAAW.
TBH, this strikes me as a very poor idea.  Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic (like a milkfloat on a motorway), yet way too fast for footway use on anything but an empty, well-surfaced, straight footway (even 8mph on my M-I-L's scooter alongside the die-straight Avenues of Hull feels pretty zippy, and I wouldn't want to corner at that speed).  There's a fundamental difference in manoeuvrability between an e-bike and a scooter.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on March 03, 2017, 09:39:31 am
Speaking as a pedestrian who doesn't always hear ignorant-twat-operated silent electric vehicles sneaking up narrow pavements behind him, being rammed in the back of the legs at 15mph wwould be a bit different from being rammed in the back of the legs at 5-6mph.

I hope the operators of these things carry 3rd party insurance, because one day I *will* sue.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 03, 2017, 01:15:10 pm
Upping the speed of road/cyclepath-going scooters to 25kph in line with e-bikes would seem reasonable TAAW.
TBH, this strikes me as a very poor idea.  Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic (like a milkfloat on a motorway), yet way too fast for footway use on anything but an empty, well-surfaced, straight footway (even 8mph on my M-I-L's scooter alongside the die-straight Avenues of Hull feels pretty zippy, and I wouldn't want to corner at that speed).  There's a fundamental difference in manoeuvrability between an e-bike and a scooter.

I mean for road/cyclepath use.  It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.

Seems to work in the Netherlands.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on March 03, 2017, 01:33:47 pm
Upping the speed of road/cyclepath-going scooters to 25kph in line with e-bikes would seem reasonable TAAW.
TBH, this strikes me as a very poor idea. Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic (like a milkfloat on a motorway), yet way too fast for footway use on anything but an empty, well-surfaced, straight footway (even 8mph on my M-I-L's scooter alongside the die-straight Avenues of Hull feels pretty zippy, and I wouldn't want to corner at that speed).  There's a fundamental difference in manoeuvrability between an e-bike and a scooter.

I mean for road/cyclepath use.  It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.

Seems to work in the Netherlands.
Rather you than me.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 03, 2017, 01:42:34 pm
Upping the speed of road/cyclepath-going scooters to 25kph in line with e-bikes would seem reasonable TAAW.
TBH, this strikes me as a very poor idea.  Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic (like a milkfloat on a motorway), yet way too fast for footway use on anything but an empty, well-surfaced, straight footway (even 8mph on my M-I-L's scooter alongside the die-straight Avenues of Hull feels pretty zippy, and I wouldn't want to corner at that speed).  There's a fundamental difference in manoeuvrability between an e-bike and a scooter.
I mean for road/cyclepath use.  It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.
There are reasons I never replaced my Class II 3rd hand scooter when it died...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 03, 2017, 01:43:01 pm
How is a 25kph scooter any worse in traffic than a tricycle?  Sure, I'd try to pick a route that avoided the Derby ring-road, but many of us ride trikes in urban traffic and can attest that it isn't instant DETH (indeed, if anything, it's safer than a bicycle, as you're more likely to be seen).

And yes there's a fundamental difference in manoeuvrability between a scooter and a bicycle:  A scooter has a tighter turning circle and a stall speed of zero.  I'm not sure why that's an argument against the scooter.  Presumably anything built to do 25kph would be designed to not be hopelessly unstable at that speed, and like any other vehicle, you slow down for corners.  You see people using such things in the Netherlands, and the technology appears to be a solved problem.  What we need is more appropriate infrastructure, and the legal changes to allow scooter users to use it.  A scooter user on a cyclepath is one less car.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on March 03, 2017, 01:44:52 pm
Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic

No more so than cyclists, surely?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 03, 2017, 01:48:46 pm
Maybe the scooter I ditched was particularly poor but its response to my requests for it to both stop and go seemed very tardy, much slower than on a bicycle. Then there's the extra mass...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on March 03, 2017, 01:49:54 pm
It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.

One thing I'm not sure about, not being a user of mobility scooters - do scooters intended for footway use have built-in speed limiters or are they like cars, reliant on the operator to observe the rules? I've often encountered scooters going somewhat quicker than that on the pavement...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 03, 2017, 01:51:58 pm
It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.

One thing I'm not sure about, not being a user of mobility scooters - do scooters intended for footway use have built-in speed limiters or are they like cars, reliant on the operator to observe the rules? I've often encountered scooters going somewhat quicker than that on the pavement...

A Class 2 scooter can only do 4mph, otherwise it isn't a Class 2.

A Class 3 scooter generally has a switch that limits it to 4mph for footways, but can do 8mph in road-going mode.

(Class 1 is human powered and has no speed limit.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 03, 2017, 01:55:03 pm
Maybe the scooter I ditched was particularly poor but its response to my requests for it to both stop and go seemed very tardy, much slower than on a bicycle. Then there's the extra mass...

Sure, but it was only designed to go at a speed where crappy controls weren't a complete liability.  There's no reason they *have* to be poorly-engineered.

Bicycles are designed to go faster, and have better brakes.  Presumably the same is true for Dutch fast scooters.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 03, 2017, 01:55:43 pm
It'd still have to run according to Class 2 rules (4mph limit) on a footway.

One thing I'm not sure about, not being a user of mobility scooters - do scooters intended for footway use have built-in speed limiters or are they like cars, reliant on the operator to observe the rules? I've often encountered scooters going somewhat quicker than that on the pavement...

The speed limit is inbuilt; you cannot do a quick burst past a dawdler, so are constrained to their 2mph.

It's apparently illegal for an able-bodied person to use these things but partner still used my scooter to schlep 50kg building supplies half a mile home.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 03, 2017, 01:58:20 pm
It's apparently illegal for an able-bodied person to use these things but partner still used my scooter to schlep 50kg building supplies half a mile home.

IIRC it's legal for a non-disabled person to use them for the purposes of maintenance or demonstration.  Hauling building supplies doesn't count, but like pavement cycling, as long as it's done responsibly most people don't care.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wowbagger on March 03, 2017, 02:02:34 pm
(https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/16996494_1771702743148927_6222934531397370941_n.jpg?oh=617336b2e1158038fb137ef4aaeb2e10&oe=593537B3)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on March 03, 2017, 02:16:02 pm
It's apparently illegal for an able-bodied person to use these things but partner still used my scooter to schlep 50kg building supplies half a mile home.

Some years ago, at the mag where I was working at the time, we hired a mobility scooter for a stunt. Several of my less mature colleagues couldn't resist the temptation to drive it round the office as fast as possible.

Which was fine, until one of them lost control on a corner and drove it into the glass panelled wall of a meeting room.

A meeting room in which the CEO was meeting several big cheeses from the US parent company.

Apparently, the bespoke glass panels cost £10,000 each to replace. And of course m'colleague wasn't listed as an insured driver of the mobility scooter.

I'm amazed he kept his job.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on March 03, 2017, 02:49:38 pm
How is a 25kph scooter any worse in traffic than a tricycle?  Sure, I'd try to pick a route that avoided the Derby ring-road, but many of us ride trikes in urban traffic and can attest that it isn't instant DETH (indeed, if anything, it's safer than a bicycle, as you're more likely to be seen).
Did I ever mention tricycles?  Nice straw man.

Even at 25kph a mobility scooter is going to be a sitting duck amidst regular traffic
No more so than cyclists, surely?
I'm not so sure.  Personally, I'd not much like to ride on the A601, but if I did I'd be riding fast (faster than 25kph) and not in the primary position (except where it is unsafe to pass).  Even with a scooter being driven as close to the nearside as possible, its offside still juts significantly into the lane.  25kph is simply too slow to be integrated into regular flowing traffic on an urban dual carriageway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 03, 2017, 03:41:32 pm
How is a 25kph scooter any worse in traffic than a tricycle?  Sure, I'd try to pick a route that avoided the Derby ring-road, but many of us ride trikes in urban traffic and can attest that it isn't instant DETH (indeed, if anything, it's safer than a bicycle, as you're more likely to be seen).
Did I ever mention tricycles?  Nice straw man.

No, I mentioned tricycles.  I'm not sure how it's a straw man (ie. what the effective difference is)?  I would be happy to ride a Class 3 mobility scooter in the sort of traffic that I ride a tricycle in, so I'm now wondering what it is about a tricycle that makes it okay, where a scooter wouldn't be.  It's not speed, because I sometimes struggle to achieve 8mph uphill.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 03, 2017, 03:49:36 pm
25kph is simply too slow to be integrated into regular flowing traffic on an urban dual carriageway.

I cycle on urban roads at that sort of speed - and below - all the time (various bicycles, sometimes with a trailer, sometimes a recumbent trike).  IME the multi-lane dual carriageways[1] are somewhat better, because the motorists have another lane to perform a proper overtake in.  But as I said above, I'd try to avoid the Derby Ring Road.


[1] This sort of thing: https://goo.gl/maps/HNks6EaUzo72
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Si S on March 03, 2017, 03:56:14 pm
25kph is simply too slow to be integrated into regular flowing traffic on an urban dual carriageway.

Guess I'd better stop riding on the Parkway (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@53.4192855,-2.2606286,3a,75y,216.18h,64.73t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1stygvXP5dT-JvlTzNmUgUxw!2e0!7i13312!8i6656?hl=en), although it can be hard to hit that speed when you're splitting lanes  :P  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on March 03, 2017, 04:46:40 pm
25kph is simply too slow to be integrated into regular flowing traffic on an urban dual carriageway.

I cycle on urban roads at that sort of speed - and below - all the time (various bicycles, sometimes with a trailer, sometimes a recumbent trike).  IME the multi-lane dual carriageways[1] are somewhat better, because the motorists have another lane to perform a proper overtake in.  But as I said above, I'd try to avoid the Derby Ring Road.


[1] This sort of thing: https://goo.gl/maps/HNks6EaUzo72

I've noticed your judicious cropping of my post.  Perhaps I shouldn't have economised on words and emphasised that my particular point about speed integration follows on from the previous sentence about wide vehicles.  On most urban roads it is perfectly okay to ride a bike at lowish speed if your lane placement is appropriate.  Si S, I'm guessing you're not a tricyclist or trailer-puller from your point about splitting lanes!

I'm firmly of the view that the best way to further road safety for vulnerable users is not to unduly hamper other road users (check this link from another place (https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/nearly-taken-out-by-sportive-nutcases.187527/page-8#post-3909519)).  Besides everything else, I would be bricking myself if I found myself plonked onto a busy A38 in Brum (or Princess Road) on a trike or a mobility scooter.  If you're not as chicken as me, then I can only wish you good luck.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: citoyen on March 03, 2017, 05:07:40 pm
Sometimes a motorist only has to see a pedal-powered vehicle to imagine it's hampering their progress.

I don't know about straw men but there are a few red herrings in this discussion.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 03, 2017, 05:08:42 pm
25kph is simply too slow to be integrated into regular flowing traffic on an urban dual carriageway.

I cycle on urban roads at that sort of speed - and below - all the time (various bicycles, sometimes with a trailer, sometimes a recumbent trike).  IME the multi-lane dual carriageways[1] are somewhat better, because the motorists have another lane to perform a proper overtake in.  But as I said above, I'd try to avoid the Derby Ring Road.


[1] This sort of thing: https://goo.gl/maps/HNks6EaUzo72

I've noticed your judicious cropping of my post.

I seem to be making a habit of it.   :-\


Quote
Perhaps I shouldn't have economised on words and emphasised that my particular point about speed integration follows on from the previous sentence about wide vehicles.  On most urban roads it is perfectly okay to ride a bike at lowish speed if your lane placement is appropriate.

I assume you don't have experience of wider cycles then?

What most people who do soon realise is that while the overall envelope isn't actually that much wider[1] than that of a typical flat-barred bicyclist, drivers react quite differently, and give greater amounts of room when overtaking.  Typically you get proper car-like overtakes, rather than attempts to squeeze past in the same lane.

(I suspect that much of this effect is down to being unusual and therefore subject to more careful observation, rather than the perceived difference in width.  It's also why I generally feel safer in traffic on a recumbent bicycle than I do on a Brompton.)


Quote
I'm firmly of the view that the best way to further road safety for vulnerable users is not to unduly hamper other road users (check this link from another place (https://www.cyclechat.net/threads/nearly-taken-out-by-sportive-nutcases.187527/page-8#post-3909519)).

I'm more pragmatic than that.  Sometimes staying out of the way is the safest option, other times it isn't.  I'd certainly say that *antagonising* other road users is to be avoided, except where necessary to ensure your safety (for example, I'll take primary rather than ride into a pothole or be squeezed at a pinch point), and I'm a big fan of letting the entitled arseholes get past you as soon as possible.


Quote
Besides everything else, I would be bricking myself if I found myself plonked onto a busy A38 in Brum (or Princess Road) on a trike or a mobility scooter.  If you're not as chicken as me, then I can only wish you good luck.

From my own experience, riding a tricycle on the Bristol Road is pretty much the same as riding a bicycle with a trailer on the Bristol Road, which is pretty much the same as riding a bicycle without a trailer on the Bristol Road.  I don't have a mobility scooter, but assuming it was reasonably engineered and I was confident with the controls, I wouldn't expect it to be much different.


[1] Although a multi-track cycle will sometimes need more room than a bike to keep the nearside wheel clear of gutter hazards.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 03, 2017, 05:10:49 pm
Sometimes a motorist only has to see a pedal-powered vehicle to imagine it's hampering their progress.

This is also true.  But I can't imagine they think much differently of a mobility scooter.  Or other 'slow' vehicles, for that matter - it's just that milk floats (proper ones, not the modern diesel rubbish), tractors, etc. command respect by nature of occupying the whole lane.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on March 03, 2017, 05:27:43 pm
...and in the case of proper milk floats, you really, really don't want to collide with one.  Crumple zones?  Yes, that'll be you, not the milk float...  They are made of dirty great bits of steel channel, and a tonne or more of lead acid batteries, most unfriendly to interface with.  DAHIKT  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 03, 2017, 05:42:21 pm
Much the same goes for tractors, often with added spiky bits.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: cycleman on March 03, 2017, 07:34:02 pm
i have have ridden in slough london york and wolverhampton on my trice and i often struggle to make 8mph on the flat  .traffic in the main has treated with care . i have also ridden on sections of the a3  a35 a5 a 23. where there is a great different s  in speed and again no real problems with traffic . fortunately 99.9 percent of the time i can use quit and pleasant lane although meeting lorreys and large cars on a narrow lane can be interesting  ::-) :)   
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on March 04, 2017, 01:21:11 am
...and back on topic, cat found in town (http://www.greenocktelegraph.co.uk/news/15131745.Appeal_after_cat_found_in_Greenock/?ref=mr&lp=9).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on March 04, 2017, 01:33:20 am
In a tenuous claim to relevance kinda way, I were born in Greenock. Can't remember anything about is coz we left when I was 1.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on March 09, 2017, 10:05:56 am
Sign of the End Times appears in Finchley

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39214332 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39214332)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 09, 2017, 03:08:17 pm
You beat me to it! I posted the same in 'Where the wild things are' cos Finchley might not be seen as 'Provinces'...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on March 09, 2017, 05:18:30 pm
Lights go on and off (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/ghosts-need-to-invest-too-mystery-of-lights-being-turned-on-and-off-in-town-s-tsb-branch/story-30192532-detail/story.html) in bank.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on March 10, 2017, 12:25:49 am
 Taking the piss in Cardiff (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/two-women-dropped-trousers-urinated-12716102.amp)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 10, 2017, 12:29:52 am
Taking the piss in Cardiff (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/two-women-dropped-trousers-urinated-12716102.amp)

Did they really need to provide photos?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on March 10, 2017, 12:49:38 am
To be fair, they are crackers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on March 10, 2017, 06:32:20 pm
Sign of the End Times appears in Finchley

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39214332 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-39214332)
Lovely!

That is a classic example of subtle tongue-in-cheek reporting. I like this bit:

She said she arrived at the "dark car park" at about 21:30 GMT on Saturday

[my bold]
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 10, 2017, 07:37:55 pm
Taking the piss in Cardiff (http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/two-women-dropped-trousers-urinated-12716102.amp)
Those Welsh, eh?

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/police-appealed-information-after-man-12710730

(Disclaimer: I was born in St Asaph, so don't call me a racist, you English toffs)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on March 10, 2017, 10:22:06 pm
Someone had to . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 10, 2017, 10:30:22 pm
This thread is turning into the best man's speech from SIL's wedding.   :hand:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 13, 2017, 06:10:17 pm
Wiring hash leaves cannabis house smoking
Potty makeshift wiring job leads drugs squad to smoking dopes (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-39257165)

BBC Birmingham goes for clickbait headline pun density record...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on March 16, 2017, 01:13:22 am
I'll just leave this here . . . (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-39285486)

^^^ PROLLY NSFW ^^^

If in doubt click here ->
(click to show/hide)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 16, 2017, 01:35:32 am
See also https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=66712.msg2146300#msg2146300 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=66712.msg2146300#msg2146300) et seq.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on March 16, 2017, 05:31:30 pm
Sorry, Helly. Missed that one. Mea culpa . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on March 22, 2017, 03:36:56 pm
 :o
Quote
A Luton man has received a suspended sentence for masturbating into a cup in a public dining area in the town.

Diners were forced to move away after Michael Barker, aged 58 of Havelock Road, Luton, was seen to masturbate under a table, ejaculate into a cup and then leave it for a woman to consume before disappearing into the toilets on three to four occasions, magistrates at Luton heard on March 13.
http://www.lutontoday.co.uk/news/crime/for-those-of-a-sensitive-nature-look-away-now-1-7879427 (http://www.lutontoday.co.uk/news/crime/for-those-of-a-sensitive-nature-look-away-now-1-7879427)
:sick:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on March 23, 2017, 09:11:55 pm
Swindon wins the Internet.

http://metro.co.uk/2017/03/21/theres-an-abnormally-large-amount-of-perverts-in-swindon-6524182/

It beat Camden into second place.  As my Lahndon friend Kensal Steve points out, Hampstead Heath is in Camden.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 23, 2017, 09:14:48 pm
Doesn't Swindon have its own thread?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on March 23, 2017, 09:56:51 pm
Doesn't Swindon have its own thread?

I believe it does, https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=42558.0 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=42558.0) as does Didcot.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on March 25, 2017, 03:44:44 pm
Pensioner trapped in library after staff go home (http://www.kentonline.co.uk/thanet/news/pensioner-trapped-in-library-after-122932/)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on March 29, 2017, 04:13:40 pm
This has been amusing me for hours.

Night club Appalled by Sex Offender Leprechaun (http://www.midulstermail.co.uk/news/nightclub-appalled-by-supply-of-sex-offender-leprechaun-for-teen-event-1-7888621)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on March 30, 2017, 09:46:31 am
I'm getting worried.  We're off house hunting in Wales tomorrow, do I really want to move to a principality where folk piss and crap in public places?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on March 30, 2017, 09:50:38 am
 ;D
Which area are you looking at?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 04, 2017, 12:50:29 pm
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on April 04, 2017, 02:36:02 pm
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
TBF, that is an utterly shit April Fool.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Wombat on April 04, 2017, 03:42:51 pm
;D
Which area are you looking at?

The spec for the area is "within an hour or so drive from Llanfair Caereinion", but most definitely not in Llanfair Caereinion itself.

We're going to look at one in the outskirts of Dolgellau tomorrow.  I'm going to have to ask the estate agent how to pronounce the name of the road  :facepalm:

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 04, 2017, 03:43:10 pm
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
TBF, that is an utterly shit April Fool.

Indeed.

Have you seen this story?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on April 05, 2017, 08:56:08 am
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
TBF, that is an utterly shit April Fool.

Indeed.

Have you seen this story?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648)
If I'd done that as a littly (which I wouldn't, because I was not a little bastard), I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week afterwards.  :demon: 
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on April 05, 2017, 10:16:19 am
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
TBF, that is an utterly shit April Fool.

Indeed.

Have you seen this story?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648)
If I'd done that as a littly (which I wouldn't, because I was not a little bastard), I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week afterwards.  :demon:

Shouldn't the fact you're not allowed to thrash children anymore be in the First world problems thread?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on April 05, 2017, 11:22:47 am
MP catches poisson... http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15200218.MP_blames____baby_brain____after_falling_for_Harrow_Times____April_Fool___s_Day_joke/?ref=ebln)
TBF, that is an utterly shit April Fool.

Indeed.

Have you seen this story?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-tyne-39490648)
If I'd done that as a littly (which I wouldn't, because I was not a little bastard), I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week afterwards.  :demon:

Shouldn't the fact you're not allowed to thrash children anymore be in the First world problems thread?
You're not? :o    ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on April 05, 2017, 07:11:58 pm
But in the new post-Brexit BRITAIN we'll be able to thrash the Smalls again, send them up chimneys, down coal mines and into the Navy1.  The latter will put the fear of God into Johnny Dago if he tries to get his greasy fingers on Gib.

(Stands up, sings National Anthem)

1: Not all at once, obv
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on April 05, 2017, 07:54:57 pm
Rich old white people still dial telephone numbers (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/bath-residents-furious-over-radstock-dialling-code/story-30249247-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on April 05, 2017, 08:52:52 pm
That's what exposure to the Daily Mail does to your soul.

Interesting references in that article though:

MORE: Eggs from spider that causes fatal four-hour erections found in South West

MORE: Man tries to insert pool balls into his rectum, says it was just 'boy's banter'.

MORE: Mother infuriated by people urinating on garden fence paints huge arrow to divert them

Inlaws, this is why we visit so infrequently. The South-West is literally mental. Banter evidently means something else out there. I think I already know too much.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on April 05, 2017, 10:27:16 pm
Rich old white people still dial telephone numbers (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/bath-residents-furious-over-radstock-dialling-code/story-30249247-detail/story.html)
Brilliant.  Apparently the good people of Sutton Coldfield once tried to get shot of their B postcode for similar reasons.  And no-one lives in Balsall Heath, it's always Edgbaston  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on April 06, 2017, 09:47:31 am
I can't help thinking that that's one hell of a sexy spider.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on April 06, 2017, 09:49:17 am
*Edgbaarrrston
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on April 06, 2017, 10:08:37 am
I have a Croydon postcode. My god, I live in Surrey. It's inhumane.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on April 06, 2017, 10:16:54 am
Rich old white people still dial telephone numbers (http://www.somersetlive.co.uk/bath-residents-furious-over-radstock-dialling-code/story-30249247-detail/story.html)

I wish my life was as exciting and fulfilling as theirs apparently are ::-)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 06, 2017, 04:48:41 pm
Quote
"I do consider my phone number to be a part of my identity. It has been part of my identity for 25 years.
Curious, the things people consider to be part of their identity. For instance, some people who become incredibly proficient in a foreign language will refuse to lose their native accent despite it hindering communication because they see it as part of who they are. While this is clearly a first-class first world problem, I can believe this bloke does feel he's lost a little bit of his identity from this. "I've never been a Radstock man and never will be!"

I rode into Bath about six weeks ago and rode through that development. It looks a little better in real life than the photos, but it's not "clad in the pale honey-hued stone that gives the city its timeless appeal." John Wood (Snr and Jnr) etc would probably approve of the speculative aspect, but I'm not sure they'd like the architecture. At least there's somewhere to sit and watch the river flow by.
(https://c1.staticflickr.com/4/3739/32976119665_45963ad78c_k.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/SeZevk)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 06, 2017, 05:53:41 pm
The geek in me attempts to decode phone numbers so I sort of understand.

A very long time ago I was quoted an outrageous price for a cab by IKEA, based on my postcode. As I'm only a furlong from the NW9 frontier, I thought I would have been charged much less it I had used a 'creative' postcode.

In the event, Giraffe got a minicab from the adjacent Tesgrot and we paid ⅓ of IKEA's quoted price.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on April 06, 2017, 06:18:01 pm
Only one other house shares my postcode (the benefit of living on a street with only two houses). It's still Croydonish though.

And the last time I tried to order a takeaway, the buggers wanted to charge me £2 extra because we don't have a house number.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Basil on April 06, 2017, 09:03:22 pm
Well as i have an SA postcode, I must be in Swansea
Nearly 50 miles away.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Feanor on April 06, 2017, 09:20:48 pm
With an AB postcode, the number following the letters AB are used in an exponential function to determine shipping costs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 07, 2017, 07:28:21 am
Bizarrely, or probably not, I received a call on Wednesday from a Birmingham number (0121...). It actually came from about two streets away, ie firmly in Bristol.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on April 07, 2017, 01:38:42 pm
Skipton has a Bradford postcode.  Todmorden has an Oldham postcode and a Rochdale phone number! :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on April 07, 2017, 01:41:18 pm
Bizarrely, or probably not, I received a call on Wednesday from a Birmingham number (0121...). It actually came from about two streets away, ie firmly in Bristol.

Probably originated on a VoIP system such as Skype which then broke out to the traditional telephone network. When you buy a breakout service for VoIP you have to choose a number and you cant always get one that relates to your geographic location. I sued to use Skype Out and the nearest to a local number I could buy was a Leeds dial code one and thats 50 miles away.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on April 07, 2017, 01:57:54 pm
Yes, area codes are meaningless unless you know the next few digits refer to a traditional telephone exchange (that's trainspotter stuff), and that there isn't any switching shenanigans going on at the end of the line (which you'll only know on a per-number basis, so the area code alone doesn't tell you anything).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on April 07, 2017, 02:06:57 pm
we used to have a DN postcode in NE Lincs, that was a whole motorway away.  And probably a few decades as well.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on April 11, 2017, 11:50:24 am
It's all happening (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/new-welwyn-garden-city-road-crossing-1-4969965) in Welwyn Garden City.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Legs on April 11, 2017, 12:24:28 pm
It's all happening (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/new-welwyn-garden-city-road-crossing-1-4969965) in Welwyn Garden City.
And the rubber is mating (http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/fire-on-rubber-flooring-in-knebworth-playground-1-4970951) in nearby Knebworth!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on April 11, 2017, 04:45:02 pm
It's helpful to be able to put a name to the problem (http://www.worthingherald.co.uk/news/offbeat/poll-name-the-rampion-digger-stuck-in-the-sea-1-7903179) ;D

We have been watching Moby Dig work for a while now (a side-effect of living with a child obsessed with vehicles), and became aware he was stuck a few days ago.  There have been boats loitering nearby, but apparently now Moby is to be saved! :o :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on April 13, 2017, 02:14:56 am
Football kicked over fence found. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-39578639 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-39578639)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 17, 2017, 09:33:31 am
It's better than baking a cake for it (http://www.bathchronicle.co.uk/guerrilla-gardeners-are-filling-bath-s-potholes-with-soil-and-pansies/story-30271393-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on April 17, 2017, 10:15:58 am
Football kicked over fence found. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-39578639 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-39578639)
That's a lovely story :)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on April 18, 2017, 12:52:38 pm
Harry Potter in York court for drug dealing
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15224234.Harry_Potter_in_York_court_for_drug_dealing/?ref=mr&lp=17 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15224234.Harry_Potter_in_York_court_for_drug_dealing/?ref=mr&lp=17)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on April 18, 2017, 11:22:24 pm
Hoo Flung Dung (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/man-pooed-on-his-own-hands-and-threw-it-as-car-in-gloucester/story-30278820-detail/story.html)

(it was a cyclist, naturally)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on April 19, 2017, 01:03:56 pm
Harry Potter in York court for drug dealing
http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15224234.Harry_Potter_in_York_court_for_drug_dealing/?ref=mr&lp=17 (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15224234.Harry_Potter_in_York_court_for_drug_dealing/?ref=mr&lp=17)
Even the place he lives sounds like a Dark Arts spell.  "Acaster Malbis!" and you turn into a newt.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on April 20, 2017, 02:09:02 pm
 :o
http://www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/hitchin-man-electrocuted-woman-s-private-parts-during-50-shades-of-grey-sex-session/story-30269076-detail/story.html (http://www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/hitchin-man-electrocuted-woman-s-private-parts-during-50-shades-of-grey-sex-session/story-30269076-detail/story.html)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on April 20, 2017, 02:17:38 pm
:o
http://www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/hitchin-man-electrocuted-woman-s-private-parts-during-50-shades-of-grey-sex-session/story-30269076-detail/story.html (http://www.hertfordshiremercury.co.uk/hitchin-man-electrocuted-woman-s-private-parts-during-50-shades-of-grey-sex-session/story-30269076-detail/story.html)

People badly need to learn what 'electrocute' means.  And how to do BDSM safely, sanely and consensually.  A bit of electrical engineering wouldn't go amiss either.  240V mains?  Fucksake.

If there's any justice in the world the device in question is being sent to Big Clive for a teardown...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on April 20, 2017, 02:29:50 pm
*hauls out 'electrocute' soapbox*

*realises Kim got there first*

*puts away soapbox with a heavy sigh*
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 20, 2017, 03:11:59 pm
http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/60281?redirectedFrom=electrocute#eid
Quote
electrocute, v.
View as: Outline |Full entryKeywords: On |OffQuotations: Show all |Hide all
Pronunciation:  Brit.   /ᵻˈlɛktrəkjuːt/,  U.S. /əˈlɛktrəˌkjut/, /iˈlɛktrəˌkjut/
Forms:  18– electricute (now nonstandard), 18– electrocute.
Frequency (in current use): 
Origin: Formed within English, by compounding. Etymons: electro- comb. form, execute v.
Etymology: < electro- comb. form + -cute (in execute v.). Compare electrocution n.... (Show More)
orig. U.S.
Thesaurus »
Categories »
 
 1. trans. To put to death by means of a powerful electric current; to execute in the electric chair.

1889   Trenton (New Jersey) Times 7 June 4/2 (heading)    He wants to be ‘electrocuted’... An offer on the part of a man..to act as a victim..by testing the..new apparatus for executing by electricity.
1890   Congress. Rec. 8375/1   That the gentleman..should be ‘electrocuted’ by the Kemmler process recently adopted in the state of New York.
1903   W. D. Howells Lett. Home v 32,   I could be sitting this moment with the transmitter at my mouth, and the receivers strapped to both ears, and looking as if I were just going to be electrocuted.
1945   N. Mitford Pursuit of Love xiii. 101,   I bet the Scotsboro' boys will be electrocuted in the end, if they don't die of old age first, that is.
2001   Times (Nexis) 28 July   In Georgia I stood outside death row as the state electrocuted a man I thought was probably innocent.
(Hide quotations)
 
Thesaurus »
Categories »
 
 2. trans. To give an electric shock to; esp. (chiefly refl. or in pass.) to kill or injure by electric shock.

1890   Freeborn County Standard (Albert Lea, Minnesota) (Electronic text) 24 Sept.   When venture-some rodents walk within a metallic cage, containing cheese, they are transfixed by a strong electric current and ‘electrocuted’.
1899   Times 11 Apr. 1/4   Continuation of the Monster Holiday Show. Marvellous performances... See to-day, at 3 and 8, Dr. Walford Bodie electrocute a man.
1909   Yorks. Post 4 Aug. 4/5   [A boy] who was electrocuted on the Mersey Railway last Saturday.
1939   D. L. Sayers In Teeth of Evid. 9   One of them got loose last time and tried to electrocute itself on the X-ray plant.
1988   Courier-Mail (Brisbane) (Nexis) 10 May   I was electrocuted. I can still smell the flesh burning.
2004   Chicago Tribune (Midwest ed.) 11 July x. 23/2,   I wasn't going to touch a battery—I'd have electrocuted myself.
(Hide quotations)
 
Derivatives

 
Categories »
 
  eˈlectrocuted adj.

1896   Science 14 Feb. 250/2   He gave the results of the examination of nervous tissue from three electrocuted subjects.
1922   Bridgeport (Connecticut) Telegram 10 Feb. 10/3   Glands taken from an electrocuted prisoner at Sing Sing, are grafted into the body of another convict.
1991   Atlantic June 87/1   The widow of the electrocuted man didn't even have children to take her mind off her loneliness.
It doesn't only mean kill. But that doesn't make the idea any less stupid or dangerous.

I expect there's a story to be written somewhere about BDSM by grammar pedantry. "Man injured woman's private parts with stray apostrophe during 50 Shades of Grammar sex session."
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on April 20, 2017, 03:42:00 pm
Always best to agree the boundaries of apostrophisation in advance.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Steph on April 26, 2017, 09:34:42 am
Headline of the month
http://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/paedophile-croydon-police-staff-member-stole-shotgun-ammo-from-pakistan-spot-fixing-cricket-scandal/story-30285116-detail/story.html
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on April 26, 2017, 02:30:21 pm
Headline of the month
http://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/paedophile-croydon-police-staff-member-stole-shotgun-ammo-from-pakistan-spot-fixing-cricket-scandal/story-30285116-detail/story.html

I don't want to click on it - the actual headline may not be as good as the URL!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ben T on May 02, 2017, 02:15:40 pm
BONG Dog limit introduced in hampshire (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-39769910) BONG

good idea actually, who needs more than 4 dogs.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Andrij on May 02, 2017, 02:38:21 pm
Iditarod racers.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on May 02, 2017, 02:50:40 pm
Does that go through Hampshire?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on May 02, 2017, 11:58:08 pm
Just Gosport innit? Not even Portsmuff.
Or Southsea...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on May 04, 2017, 08:10:56 pm
Toy plane flies a long way.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-39804083 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-39804083)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on May 04, 2017, 09:30:43 pm
Maybe
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on May 05, 2017, 11:48:09 am
From the Surrey Mirror local election blog thing:

(http://cdn6.24live.co/images/2017/05/05/1493978683219250.jpg)
Quote
A stock photo of Stephen Cooksey demonstrating the classic arm folding, angry people in local newspapers pose

If I meet the journalist (Dave Comeau) I might have to buy him a drink.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on May 05, 2017, 06:13:50 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15265045.Teen_found_wandering_along_M4_superglued_to_friend_prised_off_by_doctors/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 05, 2017, 07:14:39 pm
If I meet the journalist (Dave Comeau) I might have to buy him a drink.

I suspect he's a reader of Angry People In Local Newspapers, which is what Scaryduck fotp seems to be wasting most of his time on these days.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on May 10, 2017, 11:54:02 am
Quite a good day in my area. Two motorised morons (in appropriate thread) and this...

Quote
Cow sex suspect hunted by police helicopter

...Hertfordshire Police said the cow was unhurt.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-39859134 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-39859134)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 10, 2017, 12:50:13 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15265045.Teen_found_wandering_along_M4_superglued_to_friend_prised_off_by_doctors/
Has the makings of a movie.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on May 10, 2017, 07:00:49 pm
Quite a good day in my area. Two motorised morons (in appropriate thread) and this...

Quote
Cow sex suspect hunted by police helicopter

...Hertfordshire Police said the cow was unhurt.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-39859134 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-39859134)
Well, it would have been like opening the windiow and f***ing the night.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on May 10, 2017, 07:25:38 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15265045.Teen_found_wandering_along_M4_superglued_to_friend_prised_off_by_doctors/
Has the makings of a movie.

You just know that if HMPS had a loyalty card this bunch are going to be platinum by the time they're 18 and probably lifetime black by 21. Get to pick your own bunk and softer toilet roll.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Tim Hall on May 16, 2017, 04:06:13 pm
Pylon fire (http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/8203-electricity-pile-up-catches-fire-during-the-night-in-leatherhead/story-30326270-detail/story.html), but future energy needs solved as way to store electricity is found:
Quote
The electricity pylon contained over 100,000 volts of electricity
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on May 16, 2017, 04:27:51 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15265045.Teen_found_wandering_along_M4_superglued_to_friend_prised_off_by_doctors/
Has the makings of a movie.

"Stuck in Swindon"
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on May 16, 2017, 04:58:22 pm
Pylon fire (http://www.surreymirror.co.uk/8203-electricity-pile-up-catches-fire-during-the-night-in-leatherhead/story-30326270-detail/story.html), but future energy needs solved as way to store electricity is found:
Quote
The electricity pylon contained over 100,000 volts of electricity

Pedantically, since one of the primary functions of a pylon is as an insulator, then it's not entirely unreasonable to refer to it that way.  It's containing voltage the same way that fences contain sheep.

More amusing is the URL itself, which refers to an "electricity pile-up" catching fire.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on May 18, 2017, 09:06:14 pm
Able-bodied son sues father for lifetime financial support.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-39966145 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-39966145)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on May 19, 2017, 08:20:28 am
Able-bodied son sues father for lifetime financial support.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-39966145 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-39966145)

How to endear yourself to your family. Not only no funding now, but possibly cut out of the will as well. :facepalm:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on May 19, 2017, 02:56:10 pm
Yeah. Not exactly well thought through, was it?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on May 25, 2017, 11:28:52 am
https://m.theregister.co.uk/2017/05/17/leeds_police_issue_appeal_for_mansized_todger/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on June 05, 2017, 07:42:08 pm
http://www.kentonline.co.uk/dover/news/rude-theresa-may-structure-erected-126737/

Giant Darth May flicking the Vs at Johnny Foreigner.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on June 07, 2017, 12:30:11 pm
Too bloody right!
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15331249.Man_fined_hundreds_of_pounds_after_throwing_chicken_bones_out_of_car/?ref=eb (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15331249.Man_fined_hundreds_of_pounds_after_throwing_chicken_bones_out_of_car/?ref=eb)
(Offence occurred about half a mile from here.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ian H on June 08, 2017, 09:47:01 pm
Devon man who burned Bible in row over Christmas is fined £666 (http://www.devonlive.com/devon-man-who-burned-bible-is-fined-666/story-30363886-detail/story.html#FzKkroI0viPJXmRQ.99)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on June 19, 2017, 06:27:52 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15355260.Dealer_found_hiding_in_wheelie_bin_had_170_wraps_of_class_A_drugs_up_his_backside__court_hears/

First comment refers to "crack cocaine"  ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Vince on July 03, 2017, 01:03:45 am
I'll just leave this here.
https://twitter.com/shonamurraynt/status/880830787536523264 (https://twitter.com/shonamurraynt/status/880830787536523264)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Plug1n on July 04, 2017, 11:39:58 am
And in hot news from Hertfordshire:

Bucket of water used to extinguish St Albans fire

http://www.hertsad.co.uk/news/bucket-of-water-used-to-extinguish-st-albans-fire-1-5090168 (http://www.hertsad.co.uk/news/bucket-of-water-used-to-extinguish-st-albans-fire-1-5090168)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on July 04, 2017, 11:51:39 am
Cat that was up a tree is now down.

http://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/177612/cat-stuck-up-tree-drama-near-primary-school-in-chester-has-a-purrfect-ending.aspx (http://www.chesterstandard.co.uk/news/177612/cat-stuck-up-tree-drama-near-primary-school-in-chester-has-a-purrfect-ending.aspx)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: pcolbeck on July 05, 2017, 05:12:29 pm
Woman walking injured seagull on a lead:

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/15391489.Woman_found____walking_injured_seagull_on_lead____in_York/?ref=mrb&lp=1

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on July 08, 2017, 08:19:14 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEOK2FxXsAIhH_a.jpg)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on July 09, 2017, 12:31:10 am
Wheelie wonky bike sign amuses Sleaford residents (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-40498602)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on July 09, 2017, 12:55:15 am
Wheelie wonky bike sign amuses Sleaford residents (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lincolnshire-40498602)

 Part of a bigger collection (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-40520746)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on July 12, 2017, 04:52:17 pm
man checks can of beer as luggage on flight

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-40577923 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-40577923)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on July 13, 2017, 11:58:05 am
Lost panties. (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/someone-found-pair-lacy-knickers-186212)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on July 14, 2017, 12:24:30 pm
Lost panties. (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/whats-on/shopping/someone-found-pair-lacy-knickers-186212)
Gloucestershire seems well unusually provided with dogging sites.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 14, 2017, 02:13:54 pm
(https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DEOK2FxXsAIhH_a.jpg)
The long dark teatime of the Empire.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Thor on July 15, 2017, 11:27:39 am
More big news from Welwyn Garden City

http://www.whtimes.co.uk/news/four-fire-engines-go-racing-through-welwyn-garden-city-1-5106979
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Sergeant Pluck on July 20, 2017, 09:38:24 pm
Laying down the law in Tower Hamlets:

http://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/fiveyearold-girl-bursts-into-tears-as-council-officers-shut-down-her-lemonade-stand-a3592551.html

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on July 25, 2017, 09:13:11 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-40716008 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-40716008)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: andrewc on August 05, 2017, 12:13:59 pm
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/horrified-mcdonalds-customers-watch-naked-13434799


Are all Trinity Mirror groups as shite as the Liverpool Echo ?   Crime,crime,crime, minor sleb gossip , sportsball  & lists of things & places you "have to try".  :sick:    I can remember it being a decent payer with proper journalists  :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on August 05, 2017, 12:58:43 pm
A quick hop across the Channel to les provinces:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-40812302

Oh crepe!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on August 06, 2017, 08:11:11 am
The comments say it all:

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15456157.Love_Island_winner_greeted_by_dozens_of_fans_during_whistle_stop_tour/#comments-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on August 08, 2017, 09:28:47 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15460118.Foot_long_sausage_roll_goes_on_sale_at_town_supermarkets/#comments-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on August 08, 2017, 09:40:55 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15460118.Foot_long_sausage_roll_goes_on_sale_at_town_supermarkets/#comments-anchor

They were selling these yesterday at Bishop Auckland Morrisons.  Not tempted.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on August 08, 2017, 09:43:15 pm
Efficient though - only two a day will fuel a fully-grown man.  Until he has a heart attack or bowel cancer, anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on August 09, 2017, 10:58:44 am
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on August 09, 2017, 12:34:08 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.

That sounds amazing.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on August 09, 2017, 03:58:42 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.
<sigh>
It is one thing I really miss, not eating wheat. Going and buying a greasy, unhealthy (but oh so tasty) 'baked' thing. So greasy that the paper it comes in is transparent, the ingredients are indeterminate, the pastry layered with grease and painted with extra grease and a few layers of cheap, toasted cheese. Preferably so hot that the inside burns your mouth off.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on August 09, 2017, 04:24:10 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.

That sounds amazing.

IWOOT!!1! Hell yeah!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on August 09, 2017, 04:38:59 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.
<sigh>
It is one thing I really miss, not eating wheat. Going and buying a greasy, unhealthy (but oh so tasty) 'baked' thing. So greasy that the paper it comes in is transparent, the ingredients are indeterminate, the pastry layered with grease and painted with extra grease and a few layers of cheap, toasted cheese. Preferably so hot that the inside burns your mouth off.
Don't - I'm trying to cut down on things like that.

Oh, the temptation!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on August 10, 2017, 11:08:13 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-norfolk-40886835/giant-pipes-wash-up-on-norfolk-beaches

This one's actually a bit too interesting, but I'm posting it here because of the excellent use of the 'Big Ben' and 'London bus' units of measurement.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on August 11, 2017, 12:53:03 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.

That sounds amazing.

IWOOT!!1! Hell yeah!

I've thought of a name for that.

The Dibbler.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Torslanda on August 11, 2017, 03:24:36 pm
Dirty girl!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on August 29, 2017, 07:48:44 am
This one's just surreal.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15499267.House_of_Fraser_evacuated_after_fox_falls_through_ceiling/
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 29, 2017, 05:19:04 pm
It's the kind of think you might expect in Tetbury not Swindon.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 29, 2017, 05:20:45 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-norfolk-40886835/giant-pipes-wash-up-on-norfolk-beaches

This one's actually a bit too interesting, but I'm posting it here because of the excellent use of the 'Big Ben' and 'London bus' units of measurement.
So we're going to hear nothing more of these for the next four years?

(Kind of surprised a London bus is only 2.4m wide but I guess the extra 0.15 would get it stuck in traffic too often.)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on August 29, 2017, 06:48:46 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.
<sigh>
It is one thing I really miss, not eating wheat. Going and buying a greasy, unhealthy (but oh so tasty) 'baked' thing. So greasy that the paper it comes in is transparent, the ingredients are indeterminate, the pastry layered with grease and painted with extra grease and a few layers of cheap, toasted cheese. Preferably so hot that the inside burns your mouth off.

I haven't done it for years, but the post-pub pasty after a long session was a pleasure not to be missed. A colleague of mine used to buy two on account of it 'being a long journey' (to zone 2). I don't think there's anything healthy in an 'award winning' pasty, I suspect the contents would only be identified through DNA analysis. But biting into one and unleashing that volcanic gout of steam to broil the top of your mouth, followed by the belch of meaty aroma that you know no one sober in the carriage will appreciate. Oh my. It's the middle-class kebab. You'd wake up the following morning and burp something that smelled like an animal had died in your mouth several days before. Then you'd realise that the top of your mouth was hanging there like a dilapidated trampoline.

A series of sensations only put into context by the runaway train of an hangover slamming into your head a few moments later while your stomach started the slow aerobatic roll of protest.

I think I might sell my Big Dong to 7-11. A foot long core of sausage in a mantle of spicy beef chilli, wrapped in finest cheese and bacon pastry, rolled in nacho chips, and deep fried. And then left to mature on the rollers under a heat lamp for a week to attain perfection. The last bit is important and often overlooked. It's why the kebab is supreme, that skewer of mystery meat has been twirling like the world's saddest ballerina for weeks, not so much overturning all the rules of food hygiene as we know them but giving them the finger (refrigerate meat, pah). I haven't, I confess, been drunk enough to consummate my evening with a kebab for a couple of decades. I remember once on the top deck of the night bus home someone eating one and someone else emerging from the stairs and declaring loudly 'WHO'S FUCKING DOG DIED?" That was bonhomie N172-style.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Bledlow on August 29, 2017, 09:08:54 pm
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.

That sounds amazing.

IWOOT!!1! Hell yeah!

I've thought of a name for that.

The Dibbler.
CMOT  ;)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on August 29, 2017, 09:23:42 pm
This one's just surreal.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15499267.House_of_Fraser_evacuated_after_fox_falls_through_ceiling/

Fah!

http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/property/homeowners-discover-honey-dripping-through-380284 (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/property/homeowners-discover-honey-dripping-through-380284)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on August 30, 2017, 08:56:27 am
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.
<sigh>
It is one thing I really miss, not eating wheat. Going and buying a greasy, unhealthy (but oh so tasty) 'baked' thing. So greasy that the paper it comes in is transparent, the ingredients are indeterminate, the pastry layered with grease and painted with extra grease and a few layers of cheap, toasted cheese. Preferably so hot that the inside burns your mouth off.

I haven't done it for years, but the post-pub pasty after a long session was a pleasure not to be missed. A colleague of mine used to buy two on account of it 'being a long journey' (to zone 2). I don't think there's anything healthy in an 'award winning' pasty, I suspect the contents would only be identified through DNA analysis. But biting into one and unleashing that volcanic gout of steam to broil the top of your mouth, followed by the belch of meaty aroma that you know no one sober in the carriage will appreciate. Oh my. It's the middle-class kebab. You'd wake up the following morning and burp something that smelled like an animal had died in your mouth several days before. Then you'd realise that the top of your mouth was hanging there like a dilapidated trampoline.

A series of sensations only put into context by the runaway train of an hangover slamming into your head a few moments later while your stomach started the slow aerobatic roll of protest.

I think I might sell my Big Dong to 7-11. A foot long core of sausage in a mantle of spicy beef chilli, wrapped in finest cheese and bacon pastry, rolled in nacho chips, and deep fried. And then left to mature on the rollers under a heat lamp for a week to attain perfection. The last bit is important and often overlooked. It's why the kebab is supreme, that skewer of mystery meat has been twirling like the world's saddest ballerina for weeks, not so much overturning all the rules of food hygiene as we know them but giving them the finger (refrigerate meat, pah). I haven't, I confess, been drunk enough to consummate my evening with a kebab for a couple of decades. I remember once on the top deck of the night bus home someone eating one and someone else emerging from the stairs and declaring loudly 'WHO'S FUCKING DOG DIED?" That was bonhomie N172-style.

My not-quite-2-year old step-granddaughter was given her first Greggs sausage roll this weekend.

Her response: "Oh wow! Delicious!"

Now, if only I can get her audaxing . . .
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Ruthie on August 30, 2017, 09:19:38 am
I like sausage rolls more than most things and size is surely important but even I have to declare that twelve inches of sausage is simply too much for me.

Still, we should feel blessed, if this was America they've have embedded cheese and bacon in the pastry and probably a layer of beef chilli around the sausage meat and coated the entire thing in an outer nacho crust, and kept going until it was the sort of colorific neutronium than can only be forced down with 32 fluid ounces caffeinated soda.

That sounds amazing.

IWOOT!!1! Hell yeah!

I've thought of a name for that.

The Dibbler.
CMOT  ;)

Indeed  :D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: nicknack on August 30, 2017, 09:47:26 am
This one's just surreal.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15499267.House_of_Fraser_evacuated_after_fox_falls_through_ceiling/

Fah!

http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/property/homeowners-discover-honey-dripping-through-380284 (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/news/property/homeowners-discover-honey-dripping-through-380284)
Oh. That must be what those old blues guys meant by "honey dripper". Light fittings, eh? Who'da guessed?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 01, 2017, 01:17:39 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-41122909

"Robert Fergus, 72, ran naked with a pair of scissors in the public reception of the MacDonald Loch Rannoch Hotel".

Running with scissors...didn't his mother tell him anything?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 01, 2017, 07:34:44 pm
http://www.rmcmedia.co.uk/vibe/food-and-drink/article/Here-are-all-the-events-IKEA-is-throwing-to-celebrate-Sheffield-store-opening (http://www.rmcmedia.co.uk/vibe/food-and-drink/article/Here-are-all-the-events-IKEA-is-throwing-to-celebrate-Sheffield-store-opening)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on September 01, 2017, 07:39:55 pm
In London, we simply hold a celebratory riot. Or, as some call it, over-enthusiastic shopping.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on September 01, 2017, 07:53:57 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-41122909

"Robert Fergus, 72, ran naked with a pair of scissors in the public reception of the MacDonald Loch Rannoch Hotel".

Running with scissors...didn't his mother tell him anything?

It's quite a nice hotel for the location. There's a swimming pool too!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on September 04, 2017, 01:41:48 pm
Python found lurking in bathroom toilet in Southend (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-41122975)

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 05, 2017, 08:15:10 pm
Python found lurking in bathroom toilet in Southend (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-41122975)
Yes, Wow should have done up his flies.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on September 05, 2017, 09:55:17 pm
Meanwhile, in Bristol: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on September 05, 2017, 09:59:09 pm
 ;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on September 06, 2017, 08:56:28 am
I'd have blamed a big teleporting seagull.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on September 06, 2017, 10:21:18 am
Meanwhile, in Bristol: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

you got there first  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on September 06, 2017, 10:56:43 am
Once-upon-a-time in those hazy student days, one of our flatmates managed to combine pulling with enhanced inebriation (strangely concordant phenomena back then). But back at her place, amour be damned, he desperately needed a cheeky poo, so made his excuses and staggered to the bathroom, sat down, opened the bomb bay doors, and promptly passed out, in the process tumbling off the loo.

Anyway, there he was on the bathroom floor the next morning, trousers down, arse outwards and still mid-motion. One of her other flatmates walked in on this, erm, spectacle and screamed 'there's a man on the bathroom floor doing a poo.'

You have no idea how much he came to regret sharing this story.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 06, 2017, 08:42:25 pm
Is anyone else wondering, did she use her fingers?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on September 06, 2017, 09:29:30 pm
I dunno, but I wouldn't use my toothbrush again if I were him.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on September 06, 2017, 10:09:58 pm
There are so, so many questions begging about this story...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 13, 2017, 02:23:41 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15529748.Man_stole_8_blocks_of_cheese_before_punching_brave_Co_op_worker/?ref=mrb&lp=10#comments-anchor :smug:

The commentards on the Swindon Advertiser website have an admirably YACF-esque affection for bad puns.  Thank goodness the perp didn't steal fish.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on September 14, 2017, 07:59:13 pm
RSPCA called to rescue lizard that turns out to be a sock (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-coventry-warwickshire-41268025)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: phantasmagoriana on September 14, 2017, 08:15:05 pm
Meanwhile, in Bristol: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-bristol-41167296

The BBC Pidgin version (https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/tori-41171196) of that story is a masterpiece.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on September 16, 2017, 12:03:30 pm
Teen climbs highest mountain in wales in his underwear and unsurprisingly gets hypothermic.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677)

"Nathan, who is studying sport, nutrition and health at university"  ???

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 16, 2017, 02:52:40 pm
...learns from practical experience and experiment.

Taught to Question and Challenge All He Reads in Books and Elsewhere...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 16, 2017, 04:02:35 pm
Is this stunt man related to Nuncio & Salvatore otp?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-41268427 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-41268427)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Paul H on September 16, 2017, 04:12:57 pm
There's a bike up a pole
http://www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/derby-news/bike-top-alvaston-sign-week-465169
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on September 16, 2017, 06:13:58 pm
Teen climbs highest mountain in wales in his underwear and unsurprisingly gets hypothermic.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677)

"Nathan, who is studying sport, nutrition and health at university"  ???

Possible a failed attempt at the Darwin Award?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on September 16, 2017, 06:23:45 pm
Teen climbs highest mountain in wales in his underwear and unsurprisingly gets hypothermic.

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677 (http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/teen-who-climbed-snowdon-undies-13627677)

"Nathan, who is studying sport, nutrition and health at university"  ???

Possible a failed attempt at the Darwin Award?
He raised £950 - but then there had to be an ambulance callout. How much did that cost?

Did the little idiot not think to have friends with hot drinks and warm clothing in case he got cold? It is autumn. What a knob (a cold, shrunken one).
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 16, 2017, 06:53:35 pm
Non-member of Audax 'learn to survive or no brevet' education.

Suspect most of us learn how to dress the hard way, initially in a fairly tame environment. We've probably been cold or soaked and learned a lesson after thinking 'never again'.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on September 16, 2017, 07:07:28 pm
Suspect most of us learn how to dress the hard way, initially in a fairly tame environment. We've probably been cold or soaked and learned a lesson after thinking 'never again'.

The fable of The Ant And The Man seems relevant here...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPg-v0I1KzU
https://youtu.be/EPg-v0I1KzU
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on September 20, 2017, 08:12:49 pm
Anyone live in Wales and care to nominate their milkman....

http://www.westerntelegraph.co.uk/pembrokeshirefarmer/15546898.Nominations_sought_for_dairy_award/?ref=rss (http://www.westerntelegraph.co.uk/pembrokeshirefarmer/15546898.Nominations_sought_for_dairy_award/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on September 20, 2017, 10:38:06 pm
Within a mile of my abode
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41334906 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41334906)
 :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Redlight on September 21, 2017, 02:26:10 pm
Within a mile of my abode
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41334906 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-41334906)
 :(

Looks like the next series of The Apprentice is being made on a lower budget than previous ones.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Plug1n on September 24, 2017, 06:36:38 am
http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/15552595.PROPERTY_NEWS__Parents_pay_highest_premium_to_leave_near_top_school/ (http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/15552595.PROPERTY_NEWS__Parents_pay_highest_premium_to_leave_near_top_school/)

"Parents pay highest premium to leave near top Beaconsfield school, Beaconsfield High"

Spell check wins again.

I think that we have better editing on YACF! 

And then not news, anyway.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 26, 2017, 01:37:39 pm
It's the wrong Birmingham, Grommit! (http://road.cc/content/news/229827-us-rider-enters-race-wrong-birmingham)
Quote
"Birmingham was the coolest place I've been to in the UK yet," he said. "It was really fabulous.

"The people are great, the town's awesome, the guys that did the ride were really tremendous. It was a brilliant event.
I dread to think what Birmingham, Alabama is like if it's West Midlands namesake looks so great to him.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on September 26, 2017, 01:43:26 pm
Wrong Birmingham issues occur surprisingly regularly.  Bonus points to a certain university for embedding google search boxes on their site without restricting the search to the relevant domain.

If he's been to the UK, but not Edinburgh or London, and Birmingham's the coolest place yet, he's presumably been to Swindon or something.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 26, 2017, 02:37:13 pm
Or Didcot!  :D

Or maybe his impressions of the UK were formed through a forum just like this one...  :o
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on September 27, 2017, 07:58:43 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15561310.Iceland_boss_assaulted_by_banned_shopper_wielding_frozen_chicken_curry/

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ElyDave on September 27, 2017, 10:40:55 pm
I have heard tales of USAnian winter olympic fans heading to Albertville Alabama inspead of Albertville France.

It NEVER snows in Albertville Alabama
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on September 28, 2017, 12:42:05 am
It doesn't have to. It is white enough already.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on October 05, 2017, 07:48:21 pm
If my first impressions of a place were 10,000 cyclists on closed roads with cheering crowds I'd be open to being impressed.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mllePB on October 05, 2017, 10:02:48 pm
Local man says I’ve been into competitive bearding for some time now...

Read more at: http://www.rugbyadvertiser.co.uk/news/facial-hair-champion-from-rugby-wins-bronze-in-the-usa-1-8181788 (http://www.rugbyadvertiser.co.uk/news/facial-hair-champion-from-rugby-wins-bronze-in-the-usa-1-8181788)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 06, 2017, 09:06:42 am
New climate change strategy: beards to be harvested as bio-fuels.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 06, 2017, 06:55:17 pm
Is there an English word for being superficially ashamed yet, deep down, proud of your home town?

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15581771.Two_security_cameras_stolen_from_lampposts_in_Pinehurst/#comments-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 06, 2017, 06:56:13 pm
Swindonfreude?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on October 06, 2017, 07:00:30 pm
Swindonfreude?

No, that's the vicarious enjoyment engendered by reading about a place that even Slough looks down on. :demon:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 10, 2017, 08:25:38 pm
Too much cheese lands van man in pickle with police (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-41566545)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 10, 2017, 08:29:12 pm
Is there an English word for being superficially ashamed yet, deep down, proud of your home town?

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15581771.Two_security_cameras_stolen_from_lampposts_in_Pinehurst/#comments-anchor

One of my formative childhood memories is of watching footage of oiks with ladders stealing CCTV cameras from a railway station on Police 5 while waiting for Sunday dinner.  The video was particularly high quality, so they'd evidently made the right choice.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 11, 2017, 02:44:02 pm
Too much cheese lands van man in pickle with police (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-41566545)
;D
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on October 12, 2017, 09:25:45 am
If he ate the cheese, it would still be on board the vehicle.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 12, 2017, 04:56:32 pm
If he ate the cheese, it would still be on board the vehicle.

But if the rozzers enticed him out of the van and gave him a waffer-thin mint...
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on October 12, 2017, 05:58:39 pm
Dover sole 'jumps' down angler's throat in Bournemouth (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-41598493)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 13, 2017, 10:19:07 am
If he ate the cheese, it would still be on board the vehicle.
And then it's still a ton overweight.





IGMC
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: PeteB99 on October 16, 2017, 11:27:36 am
Dover sole 'jumps' down angler's throat in Bournemouth (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-41598493)

He was trying to kiss it.

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/65/Darwin_Fish_01.svg/180px-Darwin_Fish_01.svg.png)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 20, 2017, 07:10:13 pm
Untaxed hearse clamped during funeral. Mourners not quite happy.
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/hearse-clamped-outside-bristol-central-657826
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 23, 2017, 06:38:48 am
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15612483.Noel_Gallagher_lookalike_spotted__licking_windows__in_Swindon/

The Swindon Advertiser makes a serious bid to win the Internet.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 23, 2017, 10:17:11 am
Lookalike?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on October 23, 2017, 10:39:34 am
Lookalik?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on October 31, 2017, 09:27:05 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15630898.Man_uses_penis_to_dial_for_an_ambulance_before_abusing_call_handler/

He was obviously using his dictaphone.  Really, there's only a fagpaper between the Swindon Advertiser and the Southend News Network these days.

Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 07, 2017, 08:41:16 pm
Piles cracked my toilet pan.  No, really.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15643676.Cracked_toilet_bowl_blamed_on_Network_Rail_piling/?ref=mrb&lp=12#comments-anchor
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 08, 2017, 03:39:28 pm
This throws up more questions than answers

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15648399.999_crews_called_after_Bassett_baby_stuck_in_loo/

Wouldn't a jelly baby dissolve in the water?
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Pingu on November 10, 2017, 11:13:25 pm
Canada has provinces, right?

Canada naked kidnap case: suspects drank mystery 'trippy tea', relative says (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/nov/10/canada-naked-kidnapping-case-possibly-fueled-by-mysterious-tea)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Kim on November 11, 2017, 06:25:44 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-41953644

Fucksake.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on November 13, 2017, 02:22:41 pm
I believe the patient has now died.

I hope the moton can now get out of their drive successfully.

And into the sea >:(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Guy on November 14, 2017, 08:26:41 am
I wonder if the writer of that note reads the Daily Heil. In my experience that is just the sort of petty stupid that they do.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mattc on November 14, 2017, 05:46:34 pm
He's apologised. (I'm calling this resolved - others will disagree, no doubt ... ):

_______________________________________________
“What I did was monstrous.”

“I just snapped and had a rush of blood to the head,” he said.  “I scribbled the note, rushed out and put it on the windscreen.

“There is no excuse for what I did. It was very bad. I knew it was wrong before a friend told me what had happened to the man in it.

“I have been to pray and ask for forgiveness. I hope the family accept my apology.

“I am someone who relies on the NHS, I suffer with a life-long disability, I know the truly amazing work the NHS does. If I could take it back, I would – regardless of if the man passed away or not.”
_______________________________________________
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 15, 2017, 12:36:04 pm
http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/15662177.Greggs_apologises_for_replacing_baby_Jesus_with_a_sausage_roll/?ref=mrb&lp=1
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: clarion on November 15, 2017, 01:45:08 pm
At least it wasn't minced lamb
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Jaded on November 17, 2017, 10:19:23 am
Stag party (http://www.gloucestershirelive.co.uk/whats-on/whats-on-news/stag-plied-free-drinks-cheltenham-790721) gets terrible hangover on two Becks, two pints of lager, a glass of wine and cider. Oh, and two pints of milk.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 17, 2017, 06:31:59 pm
They got him on milk and...alcohol.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: spesh on November 17, 2017, 07:25:57 pm
;D  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: hellymedic on November 30, 2017, 11:28:17 am
Stanmore is not rreally provincial but I didn't put this in the 'fuds' thread...
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15691554.Parent_parks_car_in_woman___s_driveway_during_busy_school_run/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15691554.Parent_parks_car_in_woman___s_driveway_during_busy_school_run/?ref=ebln)
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: ian on November 30, 2017, 12:04:57 pm
'unavoidable disruption'?

I suspect it would be avoidable if they didn't feel the need to drive their kids to the school gate.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on November 30, 2017, 12:05:07 pm
Stanmore is not rreally provincial but I didn't put this in the 'fuds' thread...
http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15691554.Parent_parks_car_in_woman___s_driveway_during_busy_school_run/?ref=ebln (http://www.harrowtimes.co.uk/news/15691554.Parent_parks_car_in_woman___s_driveway_during_busy_school_run/?ref=ebln)
I believe that there is nothing the police can do about it either, even if they wanted to, because unless there is criminal damage it's a civil matter. I friend who lived near a football ground had a problem with this on a Saturday afternoon and often fantasised about getting a delivery of sand delivered after the perp had gone to the football. the problem is he knows where you live :(
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: rogerzilla on November 30, 2017, 12:06:19 pm
That is SOP near schools, to the extent that some people near here have installed folding bollards on their drives.
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: Beardy on November 30, 2017, 12:13:33 pm
I live next door to a High School, and the main problem I have1 is with the six formers parking too close to my drive way making it difficult to get out. I politely train each new batch as they grow in numbers from September each year, but it does get wearing having to repeat the process each year.

1.now that my children have finished their schooling and my kitchen is no longer an extension to the 6th form common room!
Title: Re: Little Eye On The Provinces
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on November 30, 2017, 01:09:58 pm
I live next door to a church that is also a nursery/scout club/music club/wedding venue. Our drive is invitingly wide.

It is not uncommon to step outside and find a car parked across it, or in it, with no driver in the car.   There is loads of parking on the adjacent road, but it would involve them walking, ooh, up to 60yards and crossing a road. Instead there is an insane cl