Yet Another Cycling Forum

Random Musings => Miscellany => Kidstuff => Topic started by: Butterfly on February 07, 2012, 12:25:24 pm

Title: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on February 07, 2012, 12:25:24 pm
Me to charge A (aged 3 and a half): "We are going to T's house for tea. Shall we go on the bus or ride our bikes?"

A: "Let's ride our bikes, it's more fun isn't it?"

 :D
Sensible boy :). (It's about a mile or so each way).
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: orienteer on February 07, 2012, 05:39:53 pm
Testing out our Moulton tandem conversion last summer on the Phoenix Way, popular with cycling families, a little lad pointed and said, "Look, a joined-up bike!".
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Hot Flatus on February 07, 2012, 07:17:03 pm
Me, on finding 2 yr old daughter poking her fingers down 8 week old son's mouth, making him gag:

"What on earth are you doing?"

Daughter:

"it's ok daddy, I'm getting the sick out"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: a lower gear on February 07, 2012, 09:59:21 pm
Walking along a marina, friends' five year old tries to pull up enormous rusty mooring chain dangling into water and unsurprisingly fails: "Daddy, there must be a submarine at the end of it!"  :thumbsup: Excellent deductive reasoning.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on February 07, 2012, 10:23:25 pm
EldestCub:

"Wouldn't it be good if we had a flying car, then we could fly to school and back.  Of course, you'd need to get a flying license first.  Oh, and a driving license."

He's not wrong.....
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: why1040 on February 07, 2012, 10:39:10 pm
Nephew of a friend of mine, 5 years old, struggling with the Latin in Harry Potter...

Runs up to people and shouts "Smelly armpits!"   :o

Well, it's easier to say than Expeliarmus!   ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on February 08, 2012, 04:29:58 pm
Nephew of a friend of mine, 5 years old, struggling with the Latin in Harry Potter...

Runs up to people and shouts "Smelly armpits!"   :o

Well, it's easier to say than Expeliarmus!   ;D

I'm constantly amazed at Nephew Oli's ability to say the names of dinosaurs. Of course, he only hears them spoken in documentaries (being 4, his reading is still limited, if at all) so he can parrot perfectly. I see them written down, and have to do them a syllable at a time, and might still get the emphasis wrong.

Carcharodontosaurus is one where he beats me hands down.

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on February 08, 2012, 04:43:00 pm
I see them written down, and have to do them a syllable at a time, and might still get the emphasis wrong.

There seem to be two distinct camps on this sort of thing: people who are used to having words they've never thought about how to pronounce, and those who've never conceived of such a thing.  It only seems to loosely correlate with the amount of reading people do, so I suspect it's related to subvocalisation or something.

As a geeky child without access to the right kind of geeks, and indeed to a lesser extent as an adult, I had an extensive technical vocabulary that I'd only ever used in writing.  Cue instant stammer when you suddenly realise - mid-sentence -you've actually no idea how to say 'ethernet' or whatever.  It was something of an epiphany to talk about this with barakta for the first time:  As written English is in effect her first language, she has this with all sorts of random words.  There's also the related issue of not realising that a written word and a spoken word are the same thing.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 08, 2012, 06:51:28 pm
There are different schools of thought in dinosaur name pronunciation too. Di-PLOD-u-cus and di -plo-DOH-cus are both used by otherwise reliable sources.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on February 08, 2012, 07:26:43 pm
I see them written down, and have to do them a syllable at a time, and might still get the emphasis wrong.

There seem to be two distinct camps on this sort of thing: people who are used to having words they've never thought about how to pronounce, and those who've never conceived of such a thing.  It only seems to loosely correlate with the amount of reading people do, so I suspect it's related to subvocalisation or something.

As a geeky child without access to the right kind of geeks, and indeed to a lesser extent as an adult, I had an extensive technical vocabulary that I'd only ever used in writing.  Cue instant stammer when you suddenly realise - mid-sentence -you've actually no idea how to say 'ethernet' or whatever.  It was something of an epiphany to talk about this with barakta for the first time:  As written English is in effect her first language, she has this with all sorts of random words.  There's also the related issue of not realising that a written word and a spoken word are the same thing.

That's interesting, I hadn't ever really thought about that.  I've no doubt that Oli's vocabularly (which was described as large very early on) is down to the talkative nature of his family giving him plenty of opportunity to hear and practice. Or at least his mother's side. As his dad said once, no wonder he knows a lot of words, he's three but he's heard 6 years worth of talking....  ;D

When we were kids, Mum always said Di-plo-DOH-cus  (In Meg, Mog and the Dinosaurs), and we were quite taken aback the first time we heard David Attenborough say Di-PLOD-u-cus...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on February 08, 2012, 07:34:27 pm
And then there's that rational child thing of attributing meaning to different pronunciations:  A friend of mine who grew up in the fens thought that glarses were what you drank out of and glasses were for improving your vision.

Somehow my brother and I remained immune to my mum's bizarre habit of getting double-'o' sounds the wrong way round.  "You put your fooht in a buht" and so on.   ::-)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 08, 2012, 07:38:03 pm
Foot in a butt - she was threatening to kick your arses!

Or even asses...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: scott on February 10, 2012, 03:41:32 am
As a geeky child without access to the right kind of geeks

Good grief, that's a perfect description. Can I borrow that?

Quote
Cue instant stammer when you suddenly realise - mid-sentence -you've actually no idea how to say 'ethernet' or whatever.

Been there. Once as a kid I pronounced "subtle" as it's spelled and got roasted for it.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on February 10, 2012, 01:32:58 pm
As a geeky child without access to the right kind of geeks

Good grief, that's a perfect description. Can I borrow that?

Quote
Cue instant stammer when you suddenly realise - mid-sentence -you've actually no idea how to say 'ethernet' or whatever.

Been there. Once as a kid I pronounced "subtle" as it's spelled and got roasted for it.

Lieutenant. How are you suposed to know - I mean:- if you want it said leftenant, why not spell it so? Pneumonia? Or clerk. Or Paradigm (stupid word - used by the educated to show how thick everyone else is >:()

I read a lot of victorian books and was too busy reading to ask how you pronounce it. I read a lot of nursing stories so I could spell diarrhoea aged about 10 whilst I still have to think about all sorts of very usual words (as can probably be seen from my posts :-[).
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on February 10, 2012, 03:01:59 pm
See, that's what I mean by wrong kind of geeks:  'Pneumonia' was a household word.  As was 'Meningococci'.  I knew what AIDS was in the mid-80s, at the age of about 6.  I certainly understood meiosis and mitosis years before it ever occurred to me to wonder how the sperm and egg actually got to be in the same place.  I spent a lot of primary school science lessons being assumed to be stupid or terribly lacking in confidence because I was never sure how much I should dumb things down to teacher-level by.

Nobody knew why TV aerials had elements that weren't connected to anything though.  I frustrated several librarians trying to find a book that could explain that one.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 20, 2012, 01:00:30 pm
First day back at school today and Little Cudzo was looking forward to seeing his classmates. Over breakfast he said, "Amrit's my best friend ever! He's even better than a wish!" which is at once very sensible and nonsensical. Or perhaps I misheard and he said "witch"...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on February 21, 2012, 09:13:32 pm
My sister has been buying Oli's first school PE kit, including a pair of plimsolls.  Trying them on in the shop, she said "Do they feel ok?" and he said "Yes, I think they will be suitable".

He's 4. "Suitable".  ;D  Any other kid would say OK, or alright....

Apparently, when she told him that she was volunteering to help as a classroom assistant, he said he'd have to ask Mrs Woodall if it was appropriate...

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on February 23, 2012, 08:18:20 pm
So, Oli has a mastoid infection, and is in hospital under obs, and on antibiotics. He's apparently making sure all the doctors and nurses know about dinosaurs. One conversation apparently went thus:

Oli: Spinosaurus ate fish. I can run as fast a a Spinosaurus.
Nurse: Oh, so you'd win a race with a Spinosaurus then?
Oli: No. We'd finish together, because I can run as fast as a Spinosaurus, not faster...

That told her then.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 24, 2012, 08:28:11 pm
But can he eat fish as fast as a spinosaurus? Hope Oli gets better soon.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on February 24, 2012, 10:37:36 pm
He does like fish....

I was sent a video of Max (2) with his birthday present from me, a tow truck and volvo car set (he's obsessed with Volvos).

Daddy: Where's the Volvo Max?
Max: Gargh! <waves Volvo at camera>
Daddy: and where's the truck?
Max: Garghgarh! <waves truck at camera>
Daddy: Is that cool?
Max: <nodding vigorously> Yeah!!!!
Daddy: Are you going to say thank you Auntie Sue?
Max: <Noncommitally, distracted, inspecting Volvo closely> Mmmmm.

I'll take that as a thank you then....
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on March 26, 2012, 10:39:15 pm
Middle charge (nearly 4), on finding that his legs are long enough for the tandem - 'ooh, can I have some of those shoes that clip to the bicycle now?'
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on March 26, 2012, 10:40:51 pm
:thumbsup:  He'll go far, that one :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rr on March 26, 2012, 11:04:38 pm
We were overtaken by a Pourse doing about 60 in an urban 30.
Mrs R: What an idiot
Me: Idiot is a bit mild for that.
Micro: How about twat?
Mini: No there is only one name bad enough for that -- DAVID CAMERON.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Jacomus on March 29, 2012, 09:44:44 am
We were overtaken by a Pourse doing about 60 in an urban 30.
Mrs R: What an idiot
Me: Idiot is a bit mild for that.
Micro: How about twat?
Mini: No there is only one name bad enough for that -- DAVID CAMERON.

 ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on April 02, 2012, 07:39:30 pm
Miss Dan the Younger: "Does Corby have one moon, like our planet?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: lou boutin on April 02, 2012, 08:42:19 pm
We were overtaken by a Pourse doing about 60 in an urban 30.
Mrs R: What an idiot
Me: Idiot is a bit mild for that.
Micro: How about twat?
Mini: No there is only one name bad enough for that -- DAVID CAMERON.

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on April 24, 2012, 12:58:27 pm
Today, the middle one composed a song on the way to nursery:

Cyclists are fast,
Cyclists are fast,
Cyclists, Cyclists,
Cyclists are fast.
 :)

(Roughly the tune of The Farmer's in His Den!)
 :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on May 01, 2012, 07:18:17 pm
When we brush teeth in the Den we do "Lion Mouth" - big wide mouth so you can get the ones at the back and the insides.  This is followed by "Tiger Teeth" - showing gritted teeth in a growly way, to brush the outsides.  Tonight, as I was brushing the littly's teeth...

CL: Fab Lion Mouth.  Now, Tiger Teeth!
EldestCub: Like a Deano tiger!
SmallestCub (through gritted teeth): Or maybe a Leopard!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on May 01, 2012, 07:24:29 pm
*chokes*
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jogler on May 01, 2012, 07:26:25 pm
teh Cubs are a credit to their mother :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Deano on May 02, 2012, 05:41:33 am
;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 02, 2012, 12:41:48 pm
teh Cubs are a credit to their mother :thumbsup:
I kind of thought it was the other way round. But whatever,  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: peliroja on May 02, 2012, 12:48:46 pm
Hehe, excellent, Cubs!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on May 22, 2012, 02:01:57 pm
My Tuesday lunchtime school is spending 4 years metamorphosing from and Infants' school to a Primary. Currently the oldest children there are Year 4, which means that they will all be 9 by the end of August. It makes for a rather nice atmosphere: I've nothing against Year 6s but sometimes they can be a bit surly.

Anyway, today's amusing incident involved a Year 4 girl who had been a bit of a pest with a swivel chair.

Eventually...

Me: Jennifer, are you a professional nuisance?

Jennifer: Yes, I am.

Me: I hope they pay you well?

Jennifer: £50 per hour actually.

and, a little later,

Me: Jennifer, would you please be unusually helpful and supervise [some younger children] tidying up?

Jennifer, smiling sweetly: I'm sorry, I can't do that.

Me: Why not?

Jennifer: It's not in my contract.

 ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on May 22, 2012, 07:12:38 pm
Recruit her to a union.
Today!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on May 29, 2012, 02:39:53 pm
Me to Oli (nearly 5): I'd like a picture to take back for MFWHTBAB. Could you draw me a tractor this week?
Oli: Yes, I can draw a tractor. I can draw anything except.... <thinks> anything I can't draw.

(Incidentally, I think getting him to draw anything except dinosaurs will be a challenge!)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on May 31, 2012, 07:17:57 pm
Not sure this counts as sensible, but it's not really befuddling either, and there isn't a thread for  "Child Utterances Open to Misinterpretaion":

As he was putting his shoes on to go to school this morning, Oli asked, "Is Auntie Sue going home today?"
"No", said his Mum, "she's not going home until tomorrow, so she'll still be here this evening."
"Oh", he said. "That's disappointing..."

She assures me he means it's disappointing that I'm going home soon, not that I'm still here!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 01, 2012, 10:09:01 pm
I cooked some tofu with some veg. He'd not had it before but said it was delicious and wanted some more. I hadn't cooked any more so gave him it uncooked, which prompted him to say that "It leaves a smell in my mouth. It smells like Grandpa's feet."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 06, 2012, 12:20:32 am
Today we went past a bike shop called, with great imagination, Bike UK. This prompted an outburst of alliteration: "Buy a bike in Bristol's bird baths." I'm not sure where the bird baths come in, but it is his birthday soon...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on July 09, 2012, 02:09:53 pm
We are listening to a times tables cd in an effort to get the eldest one to learn them so he can get the stickers on his chart and we can go to Chessington. The middle one listened carefully and announced: 'true, that's all true'.

I'm not sure how he knows, but it's a relief that the cd hasn't got them wrong :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on July 09, 2012, 02:54:40 pm
Quote from: John Keats
Beauty is truth, truth beauty[/url]
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on July 13, 2012, 10:20:39 pm
This is a sensible question, but the delivery was frankly theatrical:

Sitting on the train in York Station, (it was starting there, so there was lots of time for people to get on), I saw a man on the platform with a trolley laden with two big suitcases, some smaller bags and a folded child buggy.  With him was a girl, about 9 or 10, who I think might do drama classes. As he looked back up the platform (I guess to the rest of his family), she said, to the general surroundings:

"But HOW are we going to get ALL this... <exaggerated gesture at baggage>

ON A TRAIN?!"  <exaggerated gesture at train>

I think in the end, they used the conventional method, via the doors.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: LindaG on August 01, 2012, 01:43:01 pm
I had the Crinklypride at my place last Friday.  I offered to put some music on so we could have an air guitar jam sesh.

Smallest Cub, eyes wide in wonder:

"You've got an air guitar?  Please can I see it?"

I had to burst his bubble.  It's not often I can impress smalls.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on August 01, 2012, 05:29:23 pm
Awwwwwwwwwww!

Meanwhile, apparently after the family outing to see the men's road race on Saturday, my sister was saying it was disappointing that there wasn't a GB victory, or medal.

Oli said "Don't worry Mummy, Bradley Wiggins could win the time trial."

Not yet 5, and a cycling pundit (and right, to boot! ;D)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: little miss mac on August 01, 2012, 11:45:41 pm
Today, out of the blue as we were wandering through a National Trust pile, Minimac said "the spotty jersey is for King of the Mountain", to some pleased surprise from me and Mr Mac. He also knew that the yellow jersey was for the leader, and we told him that green was for the sprinter and white was for the best young rider.

"So I have the white jersey because I'm the youngest and I'm really good at cycling*" says Minimac.
Me: What about daddy?
Minimac: He's got the green jersey.
Me (angling madly): And who's got the yellow jersey?
Minimac: You, mummy.

That's my boy.

 ;D

*Not true. He's rubbish at cycling, and balancing in general. The stabilisers are coming off when he's five (he steadfastly refuses to do it until then...)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on August 01, 2012, 11:59:47 pm
Because we don't have a thread for perfectly sensible parent utterances, this one seems appropriate...

Overheard on the train on Sunday:

"If you don't behave you're not getting any more Terry Pratchett books!"

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rower40 on August 02, 2012, 09:15:18 am
Because we don't have a thread for perfectly sensible parent utterances, this one seems appropriate...

Overheard on the train on Sunday:

"If you don't behave you're not getting any more Terry Pratchett books!"

 :thumbsup:
To which the obvious (to a pedant like me) response is:
"I am behaving.  You never said I had to behave well."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 02, 2012, 01:00:39 pm
Because we don't have a thread for perfectly sensible parent utterances, this one seems appropriate...

Overheard on the train on Sunday:

"If you don't behave you're not getting any more Terry Pratchett books!"

 :thumbsup:
It would be a short thread. One for befuddling grown up utterances, though...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: arallsopp on August 13, 2012, 02:11:39 pm
Bless 'im. Li'l Ted, aged 4, waving me off at the door yesterday morning, as I popped out for a Sunday morning pootle into town...

Ted: "Daddy? Will you get me a spiderman at work?"
I: "I'm not going to work, darling." (as I was headed out into the sunshine, I didn't stop to explain the capitalist mechanisms by which effort can be indirectly exchanged for spidermen)
Ted: "But you *are* going to work".
I: "I'm not going to work Ted. Its Sunday, bud. We're going to the park this afternoon..."
Ted: "If you don't want to get me a spiderman, you should just say so."
I: "Ted, if I work hard, they will give me some money (see, falling into his trap here) and I will use part of that money to buy you a spiderman, ok? But not today, because I'm not going to work."
Ted: "You are going to work, Daddy. You're wearing your "office clothes". I'm not stupid."

Office clothes, for Ted are clearly padded shorts, Foska Jersey, LMNH cap, oakley jawbones, and SPDs.

Fair on, though. Not only has he reminded me that the balance of my rides this year have been dominated by the commute, but he's also made me (indirectly) promise that I will buy him a spiderman when I'm next in the office. Which I now am, having commuted here.

Damn.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on August 13, 2012, 07:18:40 pm
Does your office sell superheroes?
Title: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Andrij on August 13, 2012, 08:10:26 pm
If so, I'd like to pop in and buy Wonder Woman. :-D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on August 16, 2012, 05:31:31 pm
On our way home last night, Butterfly and I encountered some young people on bikes

'Hello fellow cyclist!  Goodbye!' the first one said

'Hello!  Goodbye!' said the second.

We, of course, greeted them in a similar style. :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: cycleman on August 16, 2012, 06:30:48 pm
i was in the local book shop earlier and overheard a little girl say to her mother "why is there a book on lady ga ga , no one likes lady ga ga !  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on August 29, 2012, 07:29:27 am
In the LBS yesterday, SmallestCub:

(pointing at green bike with suspension forks)
"I like that one." 

(pointing at red trek hybrid)
"And I like that one."

(pointing in the locked display cabinet)
"And I really like that part there!"

It was a £350 chainset :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jogler on August 29, 2012, 10:59:40 am
SmallestCub = class act.
gets it from his mum
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on August 29, 2012, 01:26:15 pm
He does like his chainsets, that cub...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on August 29, 2012, 01:31:33 pm
SRAM red, btw  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on August 29, 2012, 01:41:00 pm
What's not to like?  The kid has taste.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Lady Cavendish on August 29, 2012, 08:41:42 pm
Just watching Paralympic opening ceremony.

David Cameron is giving an interview before the start. My eldest (12- secondary school) pipes up 'Is that Piers Morgan?'

*Sigh* So proud. At least her younger sister could correctly identify him.....
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: lou boutin on August 29, 2012, 10:16:14 pm
Just watching Paralympic opening ceremony.

David Cameron is giving an interview before the start. My eldest (12- secondary school) pipes up 'Is that Piers Morgan?'

*Sigh* So proud. At least her younger sister could correctly identify him.....

Font worry, my friends daughter thought Cameron and Clegg were Ant and Dec and wondered why they were giving a press conference. Another friend's kid asked why a load of old codgers were singing the theme tune to CSI at the Olympic closing ceremony.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on August 29, 2012, 10:20:35 pm
Font worry, my friends daughter thought Cameron and Clegg were Ant and Dec and wondered why they were giving a press conference.

Fuckit, they'd have my vote.  Can't do a worse job than Cameron and Clegg, can they?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rogerzilla on September 09, 2012, 05:52:18 pm
Miss Z the younger appears to have swallowed a Profanisaurus.  Apparently Daddy has "love meat"* which he sleeps with and which Mummy sometimes eats, and also a "beef toy".

Mummy, moreover, has a "victory bin".

 :o


*believe me, there is an innocent explanation for this one
Title: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cunobelin on September 10, 2012, 08:16:24 am
Nephew of a friend of mine, 5 years old, struggling with the Latin in Harry Potter...

Runs up to people and shouts "Smelly armpits!"   :o

Well, it's easier to say than Expeliarmus!   ;D

I'm constantly amazed at Nephew Oli's ability to say the names of dinosaurs. Of course, he only hears them spoken in documentaries (being 4, his reading is still limited, if at all) so he can parrot perfectly. I see them written down, and have to do them a syllable at a time, and might still get the emphasis wrong.

Carcharodontosaurus is one where he beats me hands down.

I got firmly told off by one of the Cub's teachers over dinosaurs

One of the younger cubs was into Jurassic Park, and asked what DNA was. Parent knew I was a medic, so I was asked

Now explaining DNA and RNA in simple terms is easy enough, and wrote down the full words.

Following week, parent came back, that teacher was unimpressed and that being able to understand and spell DNA and RNA was not suitable for an eight year old
Title: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cunobelin on September 10, 2012, 08:24:33 am
Back on topic..

Cycling into Gosport on the Brompton and stopped alongside a family at the lights...

Small person studies Brompton, turns t Mum and says

" Look his wheels are even smaller than mine!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on September 10, 2012, 09:59:16 am
Nephew of a friend of mine, 5 years old, struggling with the Latin in Harry Potter...

Runs up to people and shouts "Smelly armpits!"   :o

Well, it's easier to say than Expeliarmus!   ;D

I'm constantly amazed at Nephew Oli's ability to say the names of dinosaurs. Of course, he only hears them spoken in documentaries (being 4, his reading is still limited, if at all) so he can parrot perfectly. I see them written down, and have to do them a syllable at a time, and might still get the emphasis wrong.

Carcharodontosaurus is one where he beats me hands down.

I got firmly told off by one of the Cub's teachers over dinosaurs

One of the younger cubs was into Jurassic Park, and asked what DNA was. Parent knew I was a medic, so I was asked

Now explaining DNA and RNA in simple terms is easy enough, and wrote down the full words.

Following week, parent came back, that teacher was unimpressed and that being able to understand and spell DNA and RNA was not suitable for an eight year old

Oli went to a museum with his Dad, pointed at a vaguely shaped fossil, and said "That's Pachycelpalahasurus", and wandered off.  Dad was left wondering how the heck he knew, and could only assume that he'd 'read' the label - IE, recognised the shape of the word, as opposed to actually spelling it out, because he's still struggling a bit with 'cat'.

While I was there, he was playing a game on his Mum's Itouch. A caption came up, the name of a dinosaur, and 4 pictures, and you had to touch the right one. I was watching, and reading out the dinosaur names to him - he got each one spot on first time. But then he said "Stop helping me, it's cheating!". I stopped reading, and he started to touch pictures at random each time until he got the green tick.  Bless him, he thought knowing which one you were looking for was cheating, and that he was supposed to guess at random.  He still enjoyed it, but not quite how it was intended.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 11, 2012, 10:27:51 pm
This could really go in many threads, but:
"I know what punks are. Punks are like dudes."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: little miss mac on September 11, 2012, 11:07:00 pm
Second day of big school, today. Apparently, five minutes after arriving at the childminder's house this morning, Minimac was asking exactly how soon they'd be heading up to school. That's my boy  :thumbsup:

(http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8308/7973211332_ba3ba2d1f6.jpg)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on September 11, 2012, 11:10:06 pm
That's frightening. It only seems a couple of months ago that we were congratulating you on keeping him cooking until September and the start of the new school year.

His birthday must be coming up - unless it's already past. Tell him Happy Birthday form Santa.  ;)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on September 12, 2012, 07:36:41 am
Gosh!  Bigminimac. :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: little miss mac on September 12, 2012, 04:14:57 pm
His birthday must be coming up - unless it's already past. Tell him Happy Birthday form Santa.  ;)

Yes, it's tomorrow  :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on September 13, 2012, 11:05:09 pm
I was riding across Clapham Common this evening when a little girl spotted me.  She fixed me with a curious gaze, pointed, and remarked to her female carer, 'He's not wearing a helmet'

'That's true' I commented, 'i'm not.' :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Paul on September 28, 2012, 01:28:22 pm
Watching Avengers Assemble the other night:

Me (quite excited): "I wonder what's going to happen next!"
Louis (still just 5, remember, with an air of disdain): "Let's just watch and see, shall we?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: a lower gear on October 02, 2012, 09:49:26 pm
I was riding across Clapham Common this evening when a little girl spotted me.  She fixed me with a curious gaze, pointed, and remarked to her female carer, 'He's not wearing a helmet'

'That's true' I commented, 'i'm not.' :)

A friend went cycling with old fashioned toe clips for the first time in ever so long. Realised, as he stopped at a junction, that he'd forgotten to undo the clips and crashed to the floor. Small boy watched his impressive collapse and observed to "My Dad says those pedals are dangerous".

"He's right" replied the cycling friend.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on October 05, 2012, 10:34:18 am
"Dad, I really miss playing Nazi Zombies with you."
MsCharly, currently in Bosnia

Brought a tear to my eye, that did.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on October 05, 2012, 12:56:49 pm
Overheard from another changing cubicle at the pool this morning

"Daddy, is the bottom of the sea full of millions of holes from oil drills?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on October 05, 2012, 08:51:17 pm
"Oh look Sam, that car's lights have been left on."
"Oh dear! The battewieth will get ferlat and they won't be able to thtart the car."

Sam was three at the time.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: LindaG on October 24, 2012, 11:22:41 pm
George (two years old) was in the seat of the Shopping Trolley at Tesco when mum noticed he was chewing busily on something.  Worried he'd been nicking frozen peas in the freezer aisle (again) she asked:

Mum: "George, what are you eating?"

George:  "It's only a bogey!"

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hatler on October 24, 2012, 11:46:24 pm
A few years back when mini-hatler was no more than three, we were having a Saturday at home. It was afternoon and both mini and little miss were having their afternoon kip. Unleashed from child care we set about all those jobs around the house that get neglected when there are little ones around. I'd powered my way through every DIY job there was to do and was left with only one; replacement of the loo seat.

Tool box out, spanners deployed and mini-hatler blearily surfaced and wandered into the bathroom.

"What are you doing Daddy ?" and then "Can I help ?"

He picked a spanner up and went to undo one of the nuts right round at the back.

They were butterfly nuts. He tried the spanner a couple of ways round then stepped back, looking a little confused.

Then, with absolutely perfect intonation indicating both frustration, and resignation, "Fuck it."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: little miss mac on October 25, 2012, 10:27:50 am
Then, with absolutely perfect intonation indicating both frustration, and resignation, "Fuck it."

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jogler on October 26, 2012, 08:40:13 pm


Then, with absolutely perfect intonation indicating both frustration, and resignation, "Fuck it."

Si_Co said exactly the same thing when he dropped a bag of crisps whilst sitting in the child seat in the back of the car ;D.
He was less than 4 yrs old 'cause he was an only child at the time.
Marj was adamant that he had learned it from me ::-)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 31, 2012, 01:43:51 pm
Opening a packet of Sainsbury's "choco rice pops" Little Cudzo commented "It smells like Georgie's hutch." Georgie is the guinea pig. He was right and what's more, they look like her droppings. He says they taste nice and chocolatey - the rice pops, not the guinea pig droppings.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on November 04, 2012, 06:56:58 pm
Then, with absolutely perfect intonation indicating both frustration, and resignation, "Fuck it."

 ;D ;D ;D

Apparently I thought "sod it" was a term of affection as a child.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: a lower gear on November 04, 2012, 07:30:57 pm
I had to clean up my act when I began hearing the smallest gear, then age about 3 and fortunately difficult for strangers to understand, muttering 'ukinell' whenever things went wrong - which they do frequently when you're that age.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on November 05, 2012, 02:25:47 pm
"Kim, what's your favourite chemical?  Mine's KNO3.  Do you know what that is?" - CrinklyCub

(I hope GCHQ aren't reading)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Notsototalnewbie on November 07, 2012, 11:29:40 am
My dad had the cheek to tell me off when I described a teacher as ‘a total tosser’ when I was about five or six. It was only because he used the word so frequently I’d assumed it was ok. Also, I thought it was something to do with pancakes.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on November 07, 2012, 01:31:43 pm
My dad had the cheek to tell me off when I described a teacher as ‘a total tosser’ when I was about five or six. It was only because he used the word so frequently I’d assumed it was ok. Also, I thought it was something to do with pancakes.

See, I'd rate its okayness based on whether or not the teacher was in fact a tosser.  This is one of the many reasons why I shouldn't be allowed to be a parent.

Mmm, pancakes.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on November 07, 2012, 01:43:06 pm
My dad had the cheek to tell me off when I described a teacher as ‘a total tosser’ when I was about five or six. It was only because he used the word so frequently I’d assumed it was ok. Also, I thought it was something to do with pancakes.

See, I'd rate its okayness based on whether or not the teacher was in fact a tosser.  This is one of the many reasons why I shouldn't be allowed to be a parent.
"Your teacher may or may not be a tosser. But the fact remains that they are the teacher you have and you still need to learn from them. So concentrate on the learning and try to put aside the fact that they may be a tosser. Tell us if there are any particular issues."

Near verbatim from a conversation with one of the children.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on November 07, 2012, 02:17:50 pm
You been listening in on my parental advice? ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: little miss mac on November 07, 2012, 11:34:21 pm
"Your teacher may or may not be a tosser. But the fact remains that they are the teacher you have and you still need to learn from them. So concentrate on the learning and try to put aside the fact that they may be a tosser. Tell us if there are any particular issues."

Near verbatim from a conversation with one of the children.

I like this. Good parenting lessons here  :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on November 09, 2012, 10:43:07 pm
An amusing grandparental conference (all four of us) with Martha this afternoon, followed by dinner at Pizza Express.

Martha's vocabulary is coming on in leaps and bounds. She has, this week, used the following words correctly in context:

civilised
splendid

I was working on getting her to use "coruscating", "cosmopolitan" and "spiffing".

Also, her tastes in foodstuffs are very refined. We went to Pizza Express for our meal (Martha is quite a regular there, it appears) and she is especially keen on the green olives still with their stones in (her mother cuts slices off to ensure that she doesn't inhale the stones).

We haven't got her to select the wine yet. However, her mum was telling me of an incident in the past week in which she was sitting on the sofa with one hand on her knee and her elbow sticking out rather. Martha appeared, grasped her mum's elbow and pulled her forearm down, pushed it up, pulled it down etc. When asked what she was doing, she replied "Pouring beer." On the strength of this, I mimed the pouring of a pint using the PE pepperpot and my empty banoffee glory glass and she got it in one.

Martha will be 2½ on 27th December.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 10, 2012, 10:47:23 pm
Little Cudzo was very keen on olives at that age. Still is, in fact. My mum said he had "sophisticated taste" but I think small children tend to have an open palate, devoid of taste prejudices, and will like all sorts of things if introduced to them. I'm pretty sure olives are far more common in northern Europe now than they were when my mum was that age, or even when I was, so it makes sense that toddlers nowadays eat things as a matter of course which are considered "sophisticated" to older generations. Toddlers in general are quite interesting, fun  and enlightening to spend time with.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on November 22, 2012, 11:26:04 am
2 year old, on seeing my netbook open on the table , points and says "I want to see bicycles"!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: tiermat on November 22, 2012, 12:32:22 pm
2 year old, on seeing my netbook open on the table , points and says "I want to see bicycles"!

Your work is done there ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: cycleman on November 22, 2012, 07:59:57 pm
the next lesson is red ones go faster :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on November 22, 2012, 08:04:12 pm
The EldestCub gave that one careful consideration - especially when one of the fast northern boys pointed out that he doesn't believe it, since his yellow Eddy Merckx was definitely faster than his red bike. 

And decided that, in the interests of Science and in the name of fair testing, a red Eddy Merckx would also be required  :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: cycleman on November 23, 2012, 08:53:45 pm
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rogerzilla on December 06, 2012, 08:30:10 pm
"David Cameron is a bum who doesn't know where he's going."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on December 06, 2012, 10:29:31 pm
On hearing a noise in the kitchen:

Me: 'P, what are you doing?'

P (aged 8 ): 'I'm tessellating the cups in the dishwasher.'

 ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on December 06, 2012, 10:34:34 pm
P (aged 8): 'I'm tessellating the cups in the dishwasher.'

To be fair, tessellate is one of those words that you only know when introduced to it by primary-age children.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on December 21, 2012, 06:50:28 pm
Nativity play 'fail'

Joseph:  My Mary needs a room; we're tired and her baby is coming.
Innkeeper of alternative background:  Come in! Would you like a drink? Food?

Half-remembered anecdote.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on December 29, 2012, 09:47:32 am
Oli  (5) and I were putting together a jigsaw type puzzle from a cracker - a dinosaur in 5 interlocking segments.

I picked up an end piece and said "Here, this is the head, isn't it". It looked like the head of the Loch Ness monster in That Photo.

"No", said Oli, "that's the tail".

"No, I think that's the head, and look, that's the tail end".

"No, I'm the expert, you don't know anything about dinosaurs"

And you know what?

He was right. It was a Stegosaurus, and the long bit with the bumpy end was the tail, and the  piece with the shorter pointy protrusion was the head end.

He knew this for two reasons. 1) He is indeed expert on dinosaurs and 2) He had the piece of paper that came with the puzzle with the key on it, that I didn't realise existed.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: a lower gear on December 29, 2012, 02:27:52 pm
Reminds me of a rather good cartoon: two white-coated men on stepladders, at each end of a part-assembled stegosaur-type skeleton, each holding a skull. One saying "I'm the head of department and I say the head goes this end!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on December 30, 2012, 10:34:34 am
Of course, he's not quite as expert as he thinks.

He got from his Grandma, a sort of torch that projects space related pictures on the wall, from round slides that fit in the front. On seeing that well used photo of a NASA astronaut doing an untethered spacewalk, he shouted "It's Neil Armstrong!"

(http://www.saidaonline.com/en/newsgfx/space%20walk-saidaonline.jpg)


I didn't correct him. ;)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on December 30, 2012, 05:47:32 pm
Yup.  Even a young child should know it's Lance ;)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on December 31, 2012, 02:15:13 pm
I bet granny Louise doesn't do cartwheels any more.


(Granny Louise is 104.)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Lightkeeper on January 19, 2013, 11:36:58 am
Nativity play 'fail'

Joseph:  My Mary needs a room; we're tired and her baby is coming.
Innkeeper of alternative background:  Come in! Would you like a drink? Food?

Half-remembered anecdote.
In the version I heard of this one, the Innkeeper had failed the audition for the part of Joseph.  Revenge was sweet.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on January 27, 2013, 08:20:31 pm
Miss Dan the Younger* - Mummy's mostly in charge. You're too cheeky to be in charge.

* perceptive this one  :P
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on January 31, 2013, 09:13:10 pm
Not sure if this is sensible or befuddling...

My sister was out with Oli (5) and Max (2). They went to a local cafe they frequent, and Oli decided he wanted hot chocolate. Specifically, a large hot chocolate. Sis knew he'd never finish a large one, and was trying to persuade him to just have a small one. The waiter, who knows them, 'helped' by telling Oli that a small one was better than a large one, because if he had a small one, he could have marshmallows on it.

Oli apparently sighed and said. "Well, this is all very disappointing".

The small hot chocolate, with marshmallows, was duly brought.  Oli looked at it, indicated the topping and asked "Did I order these?"

I think a boy can be too precocious!

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on February 03, 2013, 06:32:40 pm
It's probably a bit unfair of me to put this on here, but I've had a very nice email from my youngest, who is currently in Washington DC representing Cancer Research UK at a conference. From what I can gather the conference actually starts on Monday so she has the weekend to recover from jetlag and see the sights.

I particularly liked this bit:

Quote
I got lost on the way to the bookshop (went the wrong way down one of the numbered streets - which are not v imaginative, but very helpful) and accidently bumped into the White House. I just didn't think that would be possible but it was a nice surprise. There are also surprisingly few people around.
 
In the afternoon, I walked along the Mall in a fairly haphazard way, from the White House up to the Capitol building and then down to the Lincoln Memorial. Sadly, the Supreme Court is having a facelift and I couldn't see it. It would have been pretty amazing to see the place that lots of my American politics bit of my a level came from, e.g. Roe v Wade. But I was there and I suppose most of the rest of it also counts in that regard. The architecture here is stunning. One of the great things about the city is all the free museums. The Smithsonian Instititution has loads of museums that you can just wander around - lots of them located along the Mall. Today I went to the National Botanic Garden, the Air and Space museum and the National Gallery and they were all brilliant. I really didn't have enough time for the latter (spent about 1hr15 in there before it closed) - I might pop back if I get half a chance. I didn't realise what amazing pictures they have in there - Monet's Japanese bridge, lots of beautiful Renoirs (turns out I like him quite a lot - most of the pictures that grabbed me were his) some Van Gogh's I recognised and lots more besides. As I came up to the war memorials, it started snowing which made it pretty atmospheric. It got pretty heavy pretty quickly and I couldn't see the Washington Monument through the blizzard for a bit. I got some groceries and something pretending to be a cup of tea at a 7-eleven just now and feel very American. I might even order some room service on Tuesday.
 
Tomorrow, I think I shall go to the free zoo, possibly the natural history museum and the 'castle'. I got in touch with the American Cancer Society before coming out here. They've organised a meal tomorrow night with someone from Brazil. A woman from Breakthrough Breast Cancer is also coming along so at least there will be a British ally! It'll be handy actually as I'll have met some people before I go to the conference on Monday. It'll be nice to have a chance to chat to people, but it is surprisingly easy to get used to your own company, tables for 1 etc. Having never been abroad alone before, I quite like the freedom of getting up/going out/doing whatever I fancy whenever I want.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on February 10, 2013, 04:40:33 pm
"Kirsten have you been to Spain? It's got two pools and a beach."

"Kirsten, I like making cakes with you. I'm having fun."

"Kirsten, I'm a bit bored now."  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: RJ on February 11, 2013, 08:25:30 pm
"I've invented this tune in double-drop-D." He's 9.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on February 14, 2013, 09:18:36 pm
I'm so proud. Oli was asked to choose a hero to talk about in a small group at school. He chose David Attenborough! :smug:

His talk was so good, they got him to do it to the whole class, and he got a gold star in assembly the next day.  :smug:

Apparently the facts he came up with (researched at home, helped by Mum) were that Sir David used to live near where Grandma lives, went to the same school as Mummy (well, it was a boys school when he went, and a sixth form when my sister was there), and his brother is an actor and director. And that while Steve Backshaw (who does the Deadly 60 programme Oli loves) has only been doing telly for 5 or 6 years, Sir David has been doing it for 60...

I don't remember having to do presentations at 5!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 16, 2013, 03:37:19 pm
I think this belongs both here and in the "befuddling" thread:

"Is that a Jaguar?" (points to a Peugeot)
"No, it's a Peugeot."
"Oh, a Pea Goat!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on February 19, 2013, 09:04:16 pm
As we were walking up from the Quayside in Newcastle this morning, a propos of nothing...

EldestCub: "Muuuummmm....."
CL: "Yeeeeeessss......"
EC "Why do people say it's all downhill from here?"
CL: "Er?"
EC: "Cos it's not on a bike...."
 *emergency parenting psychic power boost applied to interpret this whilst going uphill with no bikes*
CL: "You mean they say it like it's a bad thing?"
EC: "Yes.  But the downhill bit is the good bit when you're on your bike.  Especially if you want to get somewhere fast."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 19, 2013, 09:09:53 pm
It's because they know they're going to miss the view once they get to the bottom. Isn't it?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on February 19, 2013, 09:14:33 pm
I thought it was because someone listened to That Deano...   :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: PaulF on February 20, 2013, 06:10:55 am
"what gear would Bradley Wiggins use on this hill?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on February 21, 2013, 04:02:22 pm
"Martha, you're not allowed to say 'wedgie' at nursery."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: cuddy duck on February 21, 2013, 07:38:10 pm
This is a great thread. Your spawn are all, like, so amazing! :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mmmmartin on February 21, 2013, 08:20:50 pm
my daughter is a nanny. walking with child, she spots an absolutely beautiful vintage convertible Bentley, obviously someone's pride and joy. The roof is down. When attention is drawn to the car, young child says; "But it's broken."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on March 07, 2013, 08:39:59 pm
From Martha:-

"Mummy! It's on the wall!"

"What is?"

"Pen juice!"

To quote my daughter, "No group has yet come forward to claim responsibility for this."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on March 07, 2013, 09:39:05 pm
From Martha:-

"Mummy! It's on the wall!"

"What is?"

"Pen juice!"

To quote my daughter, "No group has yet come forward to claim responsibility for this."

 ;D

Apparently, at the moment, when Oli (5, cerebral) and Max (3, rumbustious) are left alone, there will often eventually be Noises Off, followed by Max coming out to say "Oli hit me!". The usual response is "Why?" to which he replies "I hit him!"

I feel I should be able to bond with Oli over this. I was a quiet elder sibling who liked reading, presented with a younger sister much more boisterous than I was. I never understood why she didn't just sit and look at a book like I wanted to.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on March 08, 2013, 01:27:57 pm
Ha. That reminds me of my godmother's oldest son, aged about three, complaining "mummy, Rupert bit me." (Rupert was his granny's very placid dog). "What? Why? Why did Rupert bite you?" "I poked him in the eye with my He-Man sword."  :facepalm:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Paul on March 08, 2013, 11:44:26 pm
Apparently, at the moment, when Oli (5, cerebral) and Max (3, rumbustious) are left alone, there will often eventually be Noises Off, followed by Max coming out to say "Oli hit me!". The usual response is "Why?" to which he replies "I hit him!"

I feel I should be able to bond with Oli over this. I was a quiet elder sibling who liked reading, presented with a younger sister much more boisterous than I was. I never understood why she didn't just sit and look at a book like I wanted to.

Ha. That reminds me of my godmother's oldest son, aged about three, complaining "mummy, Rupert bit me." (Rupert was his granny's very placid dog). "What? Why? Why did Rupert bite you?" "I poked him in the eye with my He-Man sword."  :facepalm:

I have two of these too. Louis (6.33) and Dylan (3.75). The roles are interchangeable but the sophistication of the defence varies. Louis will (in the absence of a proximate provocation rely on spent offences to justify his assault, whereas Dylan can embellish (or, frankly, make up) provocations.

It's often impossible to determine the first strike.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on March 13, 2013, 10:17:22 pm
As in previous years, frogs are congregating under my sister's dining room window, for the purposes of having orgies.  Sis looked out, saw what was going on and exclaimed "Oh, for goodness sake!". Whereupon Oli (5) came to look, and then dashed off to get his camera.

Apparently, he's going to tell his teacher all about it.

There's a conversation I'd like to hear.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on March 30, 2013, 09:40:09 pm
Overheard today:

We were at the model railway show, looking at a layout, and beside us was a small boy (5 or 6), and his Dad, and beyond them, his Mum. She was jostled by the crowd and dropped her waterbottle, which rolled under the layout, and had to be returned by the chap operating it.  She apologised, and the small boy said, very clearly and distinctly, "So embarrassing!".

MFWHTBAB turned to him and said "you can't take them anywhere, can you?" and the boy gave him a knowing grin...  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: domesticated ape on April 03, 2013, 06:37:41 pm
I was walking past a cycle lane the other day with my 3-year-old, when he said "Look Daddy, there's a bike painted on the road." He then thought for a few moments before adding in a very serious voice "It must be an ancient road painting". :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on April 21, 2013, 09:15:29 am
On Saturday, the EldestCub greeted our first cycling visitor of the day with the words,

Quote
Hello Kim!  I have a new Android device.

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 21, 2013, 10:42:12 am
Ha ha! We have a new phrase this morning - "tomato hedge".
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rogerzilla on May 06, 2013, 07:47:03 am
"That porridge was so hot, the first mouthful made me sing the Queen of the Night."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNEOl4bcfkc
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Juan Martín on May 06, 2013, 07:52:02 am
Overheard in Rutland pub on Saturday: Mummy, there's a man outside who looks like Father Christmas!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on May 15, 2013, 07:08:07 am
SmallestCub: "Mummy, how old are you?"
CL: "I'm..."  *thinks for a moment to remember*
CL: "...40"
SmallestCub: (nodding sagely and wisely) "Older than 30 but not wrinkly."
CL: "Well, actually I am a bit wrinkly.  But I don't mind.  Wrinkly is fine."
SmallestCub: *nods sagely and wisely in agreement*
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on May 15, 2013, 07:39:56 am
SmallestCub is a remarkably sage child.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on May 27, 2013, 08:38:49 am
This morning I woke up to find a written utterance upon my pillow.
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/q77/s480x480/400723_10151579250626839_2013070432_n.jpg)
Well _I_ think it is perfectly sensible :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: fboab on May 27, 2013, 08:55:06 am
I miss those notes, I used to get regular missives from No2Daughter, telling me she loved me. Now I just get "Mummy! I need a new phone. Need not want, this one won't charge".
The family favourite note-of-affection will always be
Quote from:  No2Daughter aged about 6
dear <father's other wife> I hate you you have ruined my life. Love from <No 2 Daughter>.
.
Which, getting back on topic, was really, at the time, perfectly sensible.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jogler on May 27, 2013, 10:15:12 am
We used to get frequent written gems from eldest g.d..
Being grandparents & thus knowing how quickly offspring get to an age where such things cease,I've saved them all.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Regulator on May 27, 2013, 12:24:32 pm
We used to get frequent written gems from eldest g.d..
Being grandparents & thus knowing how quickly offspring get to an age where such things cease,I've saved them all.

And, of course, you can use them at her wedding...  :demon: ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jogler on May 27, 2013, 12:40:12 pm
When my daughter got wed last year I did not pull that stroke.Her relief is still palpable as the first anniversary approaches O:-)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Regulator on May 27, 2013, 01:07:32 pm
When my daughter got wed last year I did not pull that stroke.Her relief is still palpable as the first anniversary approaches O:-)

Lulling her into a false sense of security, eh...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on May 27, 2013, 02:43:53 pm
It's about 20 years since Eldest Niece penned
"Dear Grandma,
Thank you for the fax..."

Faxen were a great way for kids to send drawings to distant grandparents & vice versa.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on May 27, 2013, 06:48:30 pm
Because under-5s are in no way qualified for the oiks thread:

"That bike's so lazy... It's a lazy bike!"  (Referring to barakta's ICE trike)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on May 27, 2013, 10:24:56 pm
We used to get frequent written gems from eldest g.d..
Being grandparents & thus knowing how quickly offspring get to an age where such things cease,I've saved them all.

When my sister and I were little, we had one of those clicky Dymo labelling machines. My Mum's kitchen scales were adorned for about 20 years with the tape my sister made which said "Mumm I love you".

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Feanor on May 28, 2013, 11:58:53 pm
It's late.   I want to go to bed.   I go to chase the juniors into bed *again*.
I've already asked them twice, so I need to be a little firmer.

I've just found them lying belly-down in the hallway, with books open.

Junior 1 is explaining *trig* to junior 2.
They have pencils and paper and triangles and sine graphs and stuffs.

I've left them to it.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: LindaG on May 29, 2013, 12:05:04 am
It's late.   I want to go to bed.   I go to chase the juniors into bed *again*.
I've already asked them twice, so I need to be a little firmer.

I've just found them lying belly-down in the hallway, with books open.

Junior 1 is explaining *trig* to junior 2.
They have pencils and paper and triangles and sine graphs and stuffs.

I've left them to it.

 :D :D :D

That's lovely.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 31, 2013, 11:12:56 pm
I was layering up for (what I thought would be) a wet, cold ride.
"Daddy's got all the trendy cycling gear. Soon he'll be wearing a helmet!"
His mother's reply was truly sensible.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Trull on June 08, 2013, 01:16:24 am
MiniTrull has been learning all about switches.

He can operate the iPad/lights/various plastic barnacles... so with that in mind when I went to wake him first thing this morning he pointed at the closed blackout blind and the following Perfectly Sensible Child Utterance was:

"Window - On!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on June 08, 2013, 01:58:31 pm
Reminds me of a post from a mailing list I frequent devoted to home automation type gadgetry and engineering.  Apparently the member's nursery-age child had been asked to turn the classroom lights off for story/nap time or some such.  So they stood up and said "Lights, off!" several times, before giving up in confusion.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on June 10, 2013, 08:56:17 am
Apparently, Oli has been dumped by his 'girlfriend'. Another child told him "I'm going to take her off you", and then did - presumably this means she won't play with him any more.

Tearfully, he told his Mum "She never really loved me".

He's 5.

 :'(

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Vince on June 10, 2013, 10:53:08 am
When the Boy Wunja was between 2 and 3 he suddenly came out with "I'm not impressed with that" in context. He got a bit upset that both parents fell about laughing.
Sadly the original context has been forgotten.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 12, 2013, 04:03:46 pm
As I was riding up the road, I heard a small voice calling out from an upstairs window to someone in the house, "Look, there's someone cycling!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rogerzilla on July 25, 2013, 08:47:24 pm
"Can you have a disco at a funeral if someone like David Cameron dies?"

"Yes dear, you certainly can!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on July 25, 2013, 09:18:19 pm
That sounds like a cue to sit them down and have the serious talk that every parent dreads - where you explain Margaret Thatcher.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rogerzilla on July 25, 2013, 09:29:33 pm
That sounds like a cue to sit them down and have the serious talk that every parent dreads - where you explain Margaret Thatcher.
They already know about that, mainly because Daddy was singing Ding Dong! for a whole week.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on August 05, 2013, 10:33:10 pm
Not quite an utterance but,

It's nephew Oli's birthday this week, and we'd been asked to contribute to a new bike for him  :thumbsup:

Anyway, the family up the road where selling off their boys' bikes, so my sister has picked up a bike for him now, and a bike for him when he's 10, all in one go!

This means our cash contribution is superfluous for the bike, but she rang to ask me if it was ok to use it to buy something he'd requested:

Knee and Elbow pads!

Bless him, he's never been as confident at balance as his younger brother, so I think it's a very sensible wish!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on August 06, 2013, 01:40:28 am
Saw a small kid losing the stabilisers in the park recently dressed like a proper downhill mountain biker.  Except for the gloves.  Guess which bit they landed on?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 06, 2013, 11:36:01 am
"That's not Uncle Ben!" said a little girl of no more than three, pointing at me.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 08, 2013, 06:20:41 pm
Little Cudzo is discussing careers: writer, film star, politician, sailor, soldier, whaler (we ruled that one out - he's just been reading Moby Dick).
LC: What if I become a banker?
MrsC: You can be whatever you want.
LC: Bankers earn lots of money.
MrsC: Some of them do, I don't know why though.
LC: It's because they work in banks.

Nail, head.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 27, 2013, 10:19:31 pm
This evening he's gone to a sleepover at a friend's. He had to be reminded to pack toothbrush and clean pants for tomorrow; according to him the important things to take were pyjamas, book, socks (not sure why these are more important than pants, but hey) and... one of my cycling magazines!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on August 28, 2013, 08:13:31 pm
This evening he's gone to a sleepover at a friend's. He had to be reminded to pack toothbrush and clean pants for tomorrow; according to him the important things to take were pyjamas, book, socks (not sure why these are more important than pants, but hey) and... one of my cycling magazines!  :thumbsup:

I see no cuddle toy/teddy bear here; that's refreshing cos David can't sleep without one so it's a packing essential.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 28, 2013, 08:19:51 pm
This evening he's gone to a sleepover at a friend's. He had to be reminded to pack toothbrush and clean pants for tomorrow; according to him the important things to take were pyjamas, book, socks (not sure why these are more important than pants, but hey) and... one of my cycling magazines!  :thumbsup:

I see no cuddle toy/teddy bear here; that's refreshing cos David can't sleep without one so it's a packing essential.
Aren't you David's cuddly toy?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on August 28, 2013, 08:51:52 pm
This evening he's gone to a sleepover at a friend's. He had to be reminded to pack toothbrush and clean pants for tomorrow; according to him the important things to take were pyjamas, book, socks (not sure why these are more important than pants, but hey) and... one of my cycling magazines!  :thumbsup:

I see no cuddle toy/teddy bear here; that's refreshing cos David can't sleep without one so it's a packing essential.
Aren't you David's cuddly toy?

No.  ;)
He always has a teddy bear (and sometimes crushes me with it).

He needs a cuddle toy whether I accompany him on his travels or not.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on August 31, 2013, 11:27:41 pm
We all went to Mottisfont yesterday, to do the Winnie the Pooh trail. One activity in a clearing was to build a house for Eeyore, like Pooh and Piglet did, and a selection of long thing branch/poles were supplied for the purpose. Several previous trail followers had built various structures and left them intact.

We set to, and started a suitable house with the branches left lying around.

Max (3) decided to find a stick for himself. No matter that it was already forming part of a wigwam type construction, and about three times his height. A couple of good tugs and..

Perfect slow motion staggered collapse of wigwam with much clattering, a perfectly timed moment of silence as we all turned, fearing dreadful calamity, and a small confident voice said

"I got a stick!"

And he did have.

 ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on September 17, 2013, 03:57:25 pm
My mum's neighbour's grandson has started primary school. His teacher is called Mrs MacDonald "but she doesn't have a farm."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: arallsopp on September 17, 2013, 04:18:49 pm
My mum's neighbour's grandson has started primary school. His teacher is called Mrs MacDonald "but she doesn't have a farm."

Slightly off topic here, but that song is a bloomin' minefield. I got caught out when Ted was at a singalong. The leader says "Come on parents! Join in!" and suddenly fingers are pointing and we're having to come up with answers. So, the parents that have done it before nab all the easy ones "chicken, cow, sheep, dog" and now they're at the "...and on that farm" and they're looking at me and I'm drawing a blank and they say "...he had a..." and now they're pointing and waiting and I can't think of anything that would be on a farm and I'm beginning to panic and the world slows down and Ted looks up at me with rare mute confusion and I know I'm failing him and then, from deep inside, an answer begins to surface and knowing that I will be saved, I (only slightly off pitch) chime in with "BARN!" and we're good for another 7 syllables, and then the horror.

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on September 17, 2013, 04:29:00 pm
So, what noise does a barn make?   ;D

(Tell them about the rabbits, barakta...)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on September 17, 2013, 04:58:38 pm
One of the children this morning suggested tractor, which seemed perfectly reasonable to me, but the leader wasn't having it  :(
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 17, 2013, 05:13:18 pm
I remember tractor being disallowed when someone suggested it in school. I also remember someone suggesting "a football". Well, why not?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on September 18, 2013, 10:39:03 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=jofNR_WkoCE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=jofNR_WkoCE)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: DrMekon on September 18, 2013, 10:59:08 am
Son announced over breakfast that he can "...remember yesterday afternoon like it was today!"

I wonder if he had some memory issue, as he seemed amazed by it!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on September 19, 2013, 12:49:17 am
We used to get frequent written gems from eldest g.d..
Being grandparents & thus knowing how quickly offspring get to an age where such things cease,I've saved them all.

When my sister and I were little, we had one of those clicky Dymo labelling machines. My Mum's kitchen scales were adorned for about 20 years with the tape my sister made which said "Mumm I love you".

Isn't that a reference to a bottle of champagne?

Sorry - don't visit this thread very often.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arch on September 19, 2013, 09:09:00 pm
My mum's neighbour's grandson has started primary school. His teacher is called Mrs MacDonald "but she doesn't have a farm."

Slightly off topic here, but that song is a bloomin' minefield. I got caught out when Ted was at a singalong. The leader says "Come on parents! Join in!" and suddenly fingers are pointing and we're having to come up with answers. So, the parents that have done it before nab all the easy ones "chicken, cow, sheep, dog" and now they're at the "...and on that farm" and they're looking at me and I'm drawing a blank and they say "...he had a..." and now they're pointing and waiting and I can't think of anything that would be on a farm and I'm beginning to panic and the world slows down and Ted looks up at me with rare mute confusion and I know I'm failing him and then, from deep inside, an answer begins to surface and knowing that I will be saved, I (only slightly off pitch) chime in with "BARN!" and we're good for another 7 syllables, and then the horror.


LOL! ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on September 22, 2013, 04:11:14 pm
My friend's 5 year old daughter is visiting me this afternoon and we have been making jam tarts. During the lengthy process of rolling out what has proved to be the toughest pastry ever made, she asked me "Kirsten, do you think the pastry likes this?"

It's hard to fill pastry cases with jam when you're crying with laughter.

ETA:

me: let me just sprinkle some flour on that pastry to stop it sticking
her: I know that. I have been baking for quite a long time, you know
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: menthel on September 23, 2013, 08:44:09 am
My boy (4) was playing Gran tourismo at his little friends house (basically driving in random directions but they had a full wheel and pedals controller which he rather enjoyed.). He sat down at the controls, worked out the pedals and wheels and then asked, "does this car have air conditioning?". I nearly died laughing.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on September 23, 2013, 09:08:26 am
A colleague of mine told me this one years ago.  He had taken his 3-year-old daughter with him to a rugby match. One of the kickers was having a bad day and getting a lot of barracking for it, to which he occasionally responded in kind.

The following week he was in the back garden playing catch with her.  At one point she took the ball, carefully placed it, stared into the middle distance for an instant, then paced off a run-up. She then turned to an imaginary crowd, gave a double V-sign and bellowed "F**K OFF!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rogerzilla on October 10, 2013, 07:21:32 pm
Miss Z the elder:  "Do you think Miley Cyrus shaves her front bottom?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on October 12, 2013, 09:01:16 am
Martha was overheard by her mother and other grandparents using the word "Bugger!" This amused her grandma but her mother advised not saying it at playgroup. It has been filed under the category "Granddad Peter words". Objection your honour! My daughter uses a far richer vocabulary than I do.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rogerzilla on November 09, 2013, 12:56:52 pm
Apparently Miss Z the elder has told all her schoolfriends that Daddy has a really big willy.

I'll just let that one percolate to the yummy mummies of the village.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mr magnolia on November 09, 2013, 01:23:46 pm
Miss magnolia the younger: dad, its very early to have a beer!
Dad: well, its just after 1pm on a Saturday. Seems perfect to me.
Miss m: that's only because mum is away in Newcastle just now, isn't it?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Paul on November 09, 2013, 05:12:55 pm
Miss magnolia the younger: dad, its very early to have a beer!
Dad: well, its just after 1pm on a Saturday. Seems perfect to me.
Miss m: that's only because mum is away in Newcastle just now, isn't it?
So few words, so much revealed.

(BTW, 1pm on a Saturday is perfect)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on November 09, 2013, 08:20:45 pm
Apparently Miss Z the elder has told all her schoolfriends that Daddy has a really big willy.

I'll just let that one percolate to the yummy mummies of the village.
My mum says one of the most embarrassing situations of her life was me on the bus with her, just before my little brother was born. She was very very pregnant, I wasn't quite two, and in one of those moments of silence on the bus, I announced, apropos of nothing, "my daddy has a big penis."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on November 27, 2013, 10:28:56 pm
SmallestCub, on the way to school this morning, apropos of nothing whatsoever...

Quote
Danny MacAskill is awesome!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Vince on November 28, 2013, 10:26:57 am
Can't argue with that.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: matthew on November 28, 2013, 10:33:48 am
Just wait until he wants to start copying Danny's tricks.....










on the Helios  :demon:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on November 28, 2013, 10:51:32 am
When my son was about three I thought I'd give him some idea of maps.  I went through the whole bit of drawing a plan of our flat, and pointing out how you could go from one room to another and point to where you were on the plan.  He liked the idea and caught on all right, so I then drew a zoomed-out view showing our building, the car park and the supermarket across the way. He caught on to that pretty quickly, I thought, so I got out the large-scale Michelin and progressively showed him our street, then our town, etc. Finally I got out the atlas, put it beside the map (of France, now) and turned to the map of Europe. I put my finger on Yorkshire and said "and that's where Granny and Grandad live."

The nipper put his finger on Cyprus.

"Yes," he says, "and there's a duck on the river!"

End of lesson.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 28, 2013, 10:59:06 am
I was a bit late picking up Little Cudzo from school yesterday - not so late he wouldn't still be playing tag with his friends in the playground or that anyone would complain, but late enough that I decided to run a bit. As I was running, I passed a vaguely recognised boy of about five, heading home with his dad. Vaguely Recognised Boy Of About Five hailed me as follows:
VRBOAF - Hello!
Me - Hello.
VRBOAF - Are you in a hurry?
 ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 30, 2013, 05:33:48 pm
And the next day was almost the opposite. I had dropped Little Cudzo off at school and was sitting for a minute on one of the benches under the beeches and birches with their yellow leaves, when a boy who I recognised as being in the year above came ambling passed. He recognised me too and said hello. It was now about nine o'clock, school starts at quarter to, and he was sauntering along without a care in the world. "You're a bit late," I said, and he just stood there and smiled at me. "You'd better hurry," I suggested, and this time, off he ran.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on December 03, 2013, 07:48:53 am
EldestCub has just delegated to the SmallestCub the task of sending an excited text message to thier dad while the EldestCub installs whatever game they have just purchased on Steam, after I topped up his credit on the account and the ensuing balancing of IOUs in piggy banks (fortunately neither of my kids charge me interest). I pointed out that he might not know how to text, what with him never having done it before and not having a phone and being 6 and all.... some elderly brotherly tuition sort of followed, then:

SmallestCub "Where's the w?  Oh, it's just like a keyboard!  W....e... h..a..v..e...   oops, just one space, backspace, better [etc etc] There!  Oh, no, I need a full stop.  No - an exclamation mark!"

Grammatically correct txts ftw!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: barakta on December 03, 2013, 08:29:21 am
 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on December 03, 2013, 09:37:11 am
A colleague of mine once recounted this.

He was watching his local team play rugby, and had taken along his 3-year-old daughter.  The kicker was having an off-day, and was coming in for a bit of barracking.  At one point, when he was setting up his kick, this got so intense that he turned to the onlookers and gave them the traditional two-word telling-off, with gestures.

About at week later, chum & daughter were playing ball in the back garden - i.e. she would throw to him, he'd catch it, throw it back and she would drop it.  After half a dozen of these failed catches she fetched the ball, teed it up, and carefully paced out a run-up.

She then turned to an imaginary crowd, gave a vicious double V-sign and shouted "F*** OFF!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on December 07, 2013, 08:08:20 am
Grammatically correct txts ftw!

On which note, Miss Dan the Younger is doing her Christmas cards for school... "I'm adding punctuation [to the pre printed message]"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Gus on December 16, 2013, 03:48:51 pm
http://distractify.com/fun/fails/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius/ (http://distractify.com/fun/fails/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius/)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Arellcat on December 18, 2013, 09:39:23 pm
I particularly liked no.5.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on December 19, 2013, 07:50:55 am
Friend's daughter: mummy, this satsuma just pssssed in my face.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jsabine on December 23, 2013, 11:09:38 pm
My wife's nephew (seven anna half. Ish), on being offered cake and enquiring as to its nature:

I like fruit
   And I like cake
        So I
             (wavy hand gesture, ending up with both arms crossed like a demented rapper)
                   *LOVE* fruit cake

Two or three minutes later:
(Mrs JS) Well I'll tell you what we'll do, I'll do the cutting and you can ...
(Nephew, interrupting, grinning) I can do the eating of cake!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Dave_C on December 24, 2013, 11:45:15 am
5 yr old son this morning, 'Dad when we die we turn in to fairys, then hippos, then turkeys, then crocodiles, then pussy cats, then skellington!'
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on December 24, 2013, 03:40:31 pm
5 yr old son this morning, 'Dad when we die we turn in to fairys, then hippos, then turkeys, then crocodiles, then pussy cats, then skellington!'

Has he been watching Fantasia?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on December 27, 2013, 11:12:16 am
A friend of my dad's has his birthday on 21st December. He was telling us how he was very upset about it when he was little, because it was so unfair he got a shorter birthday than everyone else.  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mr magnolia on December 31, 2013, 02:41:39 pm
http://distractify.com/fun/fails/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius/ (http://distractify.com/fun/fails/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius/)
Nos. 8 and 24 make I larf out loud. My family seem to look at the thing and give it back to me with a quizzical eyebrow raised. I've told them they don't think they are funny because they don't understand smartarse humour. It's good that a new year starts tomorrow!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on January 04, 2014, 09:27:16 am
The Cubs, with a friend each, and I went to the NMeM yesterday to see the 50 years of Doctor Who fandom exhibition.  Dalek-tastic :D

Our return journey was a delayed Northern Rail service back to York, and as we stomped up the stairs and over the bridge from platform 7 towards the front of the station there was a frustration of Other People with luggage the size of houses doing all that annoying stuff like stopping right at the top of the stairs and walking 3 abreast _incredibly_slowly_ which meant that we arrived at the bus stops just in time to see our planned bus home leaving.  Bah.  As there were no more buses to the end of our street for quite a while, and the taxi Q was huge (plus we'd have needed a non-standard large taxi to all fit in) we decided to catch the other bus that goes to the next street along so is a five minute walk home but runs frequently.  It also goes to the uni.

It was rammed with returning students, mostly wielding luggage the size of houses.  Many of whom were standing in the aisle with said luggage the size of houses.  Despite the back half of the bus being basically empty.  We managed to squeeze past and found some seats... but by the time we got to our stop two of 'em had picked  seats on opposite sides of the aisle and wedged their luggage side by side, completely filling the aisle and there were about 7 other suitcases to add to the fun of the assault course that we had to negotiate to disembark.  All of which could have been avoided if the people sitting in the folding seats had moved and a few of 'em had gone to the back of the bus. 

As we walked back to the Den, there may have been a mild (non sweary) CrinklyRant about inconsiderate people not looking past the end of their own noses. 

The EldestCub's friend looked at me and said with perfect deadpan face and just the right tinge of mildly contemptuous sympathy for the poor unfortunates, "Well.... they are students."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 05, 2014, 07:44:59 pm
Little Cudzo is recording himself singing on his DS: "Pizzas and broccoli make me happy when I eat them woppom gangnam style."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on January 11, 2014, 06:12:00 pm
Mother and child are riding their bikes in Sutton Park.  I ride past onna 'bent.

Mother: "Why have you stopped?"
Child: "I want to lie down!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on January 11, 2014, 09:36:11 pm
Yesterday...

My daughter: I think this baby needs his nappy changed.

My 3-year-old grand-daughter: No, it isn't him, mummy. I did a fart.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on January 15, 2014, 08:18:08 pm
As we were leaving the house this morning, discussing the fact that it was a bit dark because it is Wednesday (our long-day-with-an-early-start) and winter and that it was a "Daddy Wednesday" and that yes, we do have to go to school now....

Me: "It's a wet Wednesday too, isn't it?"
SmallestCub: "Those words both start with the same letter!"
Me: "They do, don't they.  Do you know what the fancy pants word for that is?"
SC: "No idea!"
Me: "It's called alliteration.  That means when you have a bunch of words that all start with the same sound."
SC: "Like we could say it is a wet, windy Wednesday?"
Me: "Yup.  Or even a wet, windy, wintry Wednesday!  That's alliteration.  But Miss probably hasn't taught you that yet."
SC: *pauses* *thinks* "Mummy...."
Me: "Yes?"
SC: "You are... [dramatic pause] as cuddly as a teddy bear!"
Me: "That's a nice thing to be.  You're pretty cuddly too."
SC: [declaims proudly] "That was a simile!"

I told 'Miss' this afternoon.  Yes, that is indeed what she taught him recently in literacy :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on January 15, 2014, 08:20:43 pm
If you ever get tired of Smallest Cub, I'll take him.  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on January 15, 2014, 08:31:40 pm
Yesterday's school run back home was possibly even better.  We were a bit delayed by having got outside the school gates before _someone_ realised he needed a wee more than would wait til we got home and so having to go back into school to use the facilities.  Once we were once more on the way, I was chivvying him along since he'd arranged to play out with the Smallest Superhero Next Door (who had got a lift with his Granny) once we got home and said that we needed to hurry up or said Smallest Superhero would think that something had happened to us.  Like maybe we'd been eaten by dinosaurs.  The Cub thought that was quite unlikely, since they are extinct.  The rest of the journey consisted of me having to think up frankly somewhat improbably scenarios to explain our delay, and him pointing out the reasons that the Smallest Superhero would, like, totally not think that!

Met a giant warty toad and went for a swim? "Course not - we haven't got our swimmers with us!"

Got distracted by some dragons? "No - dragons only like hot weather.  It's much too cold out for dragons!"

The road had turned into a river and we couldn't get across because we didn't have a boat? "You'd float!  We could use you as a boat.  And anyway, it isn't raining!"

Got a flat tyre? *looks at the bike I'm wheeling and decides that flat tyres and p**ct**es are clearly completely different things* "Don't be daft - we haven't got a car!"

A gigantic gust or wind whisked us away and we went for a bit of a fly around? "D'oh!  Gravity, mum!"

etc etc etc....
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on January 15, 2014, 08:37:11 pm
 :D

 These days I get told off for suggesting that my Martian friends were going to give us a lift but they couldn't come because their flying saucer gets rusty in the rain.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on January 15, 2014, 08:51:28 pm
Oh - I forgot about the aliens taking us for a joy ride in their rickety rocket.  Apparently that wouldn't have happened because we wouldn't have known them and you don't go off with people you don't know!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on January 16, 2014, 10:52:24 am
*Cub Fan*
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on January 16, 2014, 03:18:35 pm
Oh - I forgot about the aliens taking us for a joy ride in their rickety rocket.  Apparently that wouldn't have happened because we wouldn't have known them and you don't go off with people you don't know!

Never trust a rickety rocket.  The bloody things are unreliable enough when expertly molished.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on January 16, 2014, 03:41:53 pm
Can I send the Little Duck to the Cubs for Awsumness Lessons?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 16, 2014, 09:55:43 pm
Not Awsumness!  :o The current word, I was informed today, is "boss". Something "boss" is like "epic" but with added coolness and stuff.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on January 21, 2014, 04:39:37 pm
Try some new phrases

'Boss level'

When they've done something good or it is a birthday "You've levelled up".

Dinner with grandparents "Squad up, this dungeon isn't easy."

When someone is quiet at the dinner table; 'Camper'

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: fboab on January 22, 2014, 03:50:02 pm
Try some new phrases

'Boss level'

When they've done something good or it is a birthday "You've levelled up".

Dinner with grandparents "Squad up, this dungeon isn't easy."

When someone is quiet at the dinner table; 'Camper'
Chez boab we (all) with heavy irony use the phrase "like a boss" whenever a minor achievement is reached.

At Age 21 you get the T shirt:
(http://static2.sdith-images.com/media/catalog/product/cache/7/thumbnail/464x/85e4522595efc69f496374d01ef2bf13/i/m/image_16353_1_195315_1_38903_1_48_1_282002.jpg)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rogerzilla on February 08, 2014, 06:35:15 pm
Everyone is watching Revenge Of The Sith.

"Mummy, is R2D2 a dalek?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on February 08, 2014, 06:43:47 pm
I meant to post this on here t'other day, and then totally forgot.  D'oh.  Anyhoo...

SmallestCub does philosophy...

I told him that I was going to spend ALL my cuddles on him, apart from a few that I'd save for his brother, of course. This is because we have, for years, sung the song "I love you, yes I do, gonna spend all my cuddles on you" (to the tune of Special Brew) whilst getting him dry after the bath. And he said
Quote
But the good thing is that when you spend a cuddle on someone you get one back.
This is, of course, a conversation we have had before.
Quote
That's because there's infinte cuddles, isn't there?
he said (again, infinity is a concept that we've discussed before) then looked terribly thoughtful for a moment before adding
Quote
Or maybe just one. It's like it's infinity cuddles and ALL the same one cuddle, at the same time.

That bit's all his.  Deep, man.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 12, 2014, 04:52:18 pm
"Is there an Earl of Bristol?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Somerset?"
"Yes."
...various other places...
"Cornwall?"
"There's a Duke of Cornwall. That's Prince Charles."
"Is Prince Charles married to the queen?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 05, 2014, 04:57:47 pm
"Mummy's bike is rusting."
 :(
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on March 06, 2014, 03:15:56 pm
Random child in cafe: Dad!  Can you see the big slide down which I slud?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hatler on March 07, 2014, 08:29:52 pm
Mini-hatler  "Dad. What's that thing you used to play records on ?"

hatler          "A record player."

A perfectly reasonable question about something he's never seen in the flesh.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: menthel on March 10, 2014, 01:51:06 pm
Me: "Did you eat all that pizza?"

Son: "Yes, I stuffed it all in my face. I love pizza. Can I have a cookie now?"

Very sensible if you ask me, especially as he had helped make both the pizzas and the cookies. His pizza restaurant was called "Fully Loaded" apparently.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 13, 2014, 09:37:38 pm
"Imagine if there were Harry Potter, Star Wars and Lego City Undercover all together in one game!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: tom_e on March 31, 2014, 10:27:00 pm
"I am covered in snot."

Yes, son, you are.  ::-)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on April 04, 2014, 08:44:56 am
Miss Dan the Elder has swapped walking for cycling to school lately. Over breakfast today:
Yesterday I tried riding up $STEEPEST_HILL_IN_TOWN. I got to the Thai food place [a good way up].

On the way to school I go [longer, more uphill route] so that I can go down the long hill on the bridge.

That's my girl  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Moultonaught on April 04, 2014, 01:28:55 pm
17 year old step son who's never really shown any interest in cycling has been riding to work (about a mile and a bit) on mum's 1964 Moulton for the past few days

"I'm really enjoying cycling to work. Shame it's so near"  ;D

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jsabine on April 07, 2014, 09:29:57 am
Test run for this year's Easter Arrow, on the back of a tandem trike and in company with a bent. Stopped at a junction and got chatting to a family on bikes, including a four year old on his own steed.

Quite apart from his healthy interest in the funny bikes trikes, "My friend's coming round later. I'm going to give him my balance bike, because he's only got one bike, and it's got stabilisers."

The force of N+1 is strong in that one ...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 07, 2014, 09:35:53 am
Eating parsley: "If you lots of this, you'll become a real Iron Man."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on April 07, 2014, 02:42:12 pm
To the tune of 'My God is a good God' (they go to a Catholic school) - 'The tandem is a good bike...'

My charge was suitably impressed with the Circe :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on April 09, 2014, 09:42:33 pm
Rapunzel:

(https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3765/13745898094_920eb4fd69_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/mWFjB1)

apparently.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 09, 2014, 10:48:52 pm
That's her hair cascading over her shoulder. It doesn't look golden, though.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on April 13, 2014, 02:29:58 pm
In a changing cubicle at the pool, I could hear a dad fussing over his daughters getting changed, and there was some sort of argument about lockers and keys. I went to put my stuff in a locker just as the two girls did, and then the dad came out and I heard the girls say "Dad! You're in your underwear!" and look utterly embarrassed as he said "so what?"  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 14, 2014, 02:01:30 pm
In the aquarium: If I could be a fish, I'd be an electric eel so that I could shock people.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 16, 2014, 01:36:28 pm
Unknown boy of abut 4 on a train:
Sees rubbish on the bank: "That's naughty!"

Later: "Look at those gardens."
His father: "Those are allotments, for growing vegetables."
"I'd like to grow vegetables."
"What for?"
"For eating."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on April 29, 2014, 12:22:56 pm
It would appear that my grand-daughter has become interested in a property development programme called "Escape to the Country" and has already developed a "shout at the television" mode, even though she is still two months short of her fourth birthday.

Exclamations have included "Two bathrooms? Why do you need two bathrooms?" and "How big is that kitchen?"

Possible the best was "Hmm. That's not going to be easy..." and a little later on, the brilliantly rhetorical "Why do people want so many wood burning stoves? Their chimneys are so thin! How is Father Christmas going to manage?"

Such are the problems of the aspiring middle classes.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 29, 2014, 12:24:52 pm
I don't know how he manages it, but he does. I'm pretty sure he had to send an elf down our extractor fan, he can't have got through there in person.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on May 09, 2014, 07:48:11 pm
Niece (aged 5½)
"I'd like a non-fiction book about the human body."

Wise choice, given that she has two younger sisters and might have tired of Peppa Pig.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 12, 2014, 06:10:37 pm
"Nie jaffa cake'a, jaffa cake'ów."

I offer this verbatim, translation being probably superfluous.  ;)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on June 06, 2014, 11:16:32 pm
A day or two ago my daughter walked into the kitchen to find her daughter (very nearly 4) with her hand in a pot of jam. There was much wailing and infantile grief even before any parental admonishment was forthcoming.

My daughter broached the subject and said she understood why her daughter was so upset because she is normally such a good girl and she had let herself down.

"That wasn't why I was so cross, mummy. I was cross because I didn't get the lid back on in time before you saw me!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on June 09, 2014, 07:42:05 pm
Email from family...

When it was her turn, she marched in stating her name was T**** ***** and shes a very important doctor.
ENT specialist then had a whole conversation with her
 
ENT "and how old are you T**** ***** - very important doctor?"
T**** "I'm two and a half"
ENT " and what seems to b the problem?"
T**** - I have a very bad cough .... (she then coughs twice)
ENT - hmmm what should we do?
T**** - check my mouth - ahhhhhhh
ENT - all good there - what else?
T**** - my ears (she turns her head and moves hair out the way
ENT - all good , anything else?
T**** - my chest (lifts up top and breathes heavily)
at which point ENT cant stop laughing ...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 11, 2014, 04:54:33 pm
"Never trust someone who's dead."
Apparently this advice drawn from Dr Who, but it does sound like an improved version of the old "never trust a hippy".
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on June 11, 2014, 06:30:13 pm
"Never trust someone who's dead."
Apparently this advice drawn from Dr Who, but it does sound like an improved version of the old "never trust a hippy".

They both sound like lines from Red Dwarf.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: sojournermike on June 12, 2014, 12:16:14 am
Me: Who's raided my Parma ham?

N the younger: Mmmm, num num num. It was somebody else. Mmmm. Nnm nm nm.

Me: was it good?

No the younger: Mmmm, yes
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: pcolbeck on June 14, 2014, 12:24:53 pm
"Never trust someone who's dead."
Apparently this advice drawn from Dr Who, but it does sound like an improved version of the old "never trust a hippy".

They both sound like lines from Red Dwarf.

Never trust a hippy is a John Lydon quote.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Trull on June 17, 2014, 06:11:30 am
PedalWan on seeing a chihuahua "Look Daddy - a concentrated dog!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 17, 2014, 06:55:00 pm
Following Fellaini's goal: "I'm a fan of guys with Afros!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 18, 2014, 01:24:35 pm
Two Y5s discussing school uniforms:
"Our school doesn't have a uniform. Not till September, anyway."
"Why?"
"Because that's how we like it."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 19, 2014, 02:31:35 pm
Little Cudzo didn't think Australia should have been awarded a penalty in last night's match with Holland: "Australia are as dumb as David Cameron!" It's doubtless a neglection of my YACF parenting duties, but he didn't get this from me - not initially anyway! In fact I know exactly where he got it from, cos he's told me (friend at school who lives in Montpellier - and that's not the South of France!)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 01, 2014, 07:17:13 pm
"Bicycle" from a little girl of about fork-crown height as I rode past.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on July 01, 2014, 08:50:07 pm
a little girl of about fork-crown height

 :D :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: woollypigs on July 01, 2014, 10:18:23 pm
We get many wee - just learnt to walk - things staggering into the shop going "bicycle" with their guardian running after them as they grap the first set of wheels they can lay their drul/ice cream covered fingers on. Start them you I say :-)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 02, 2014, 03:25:13 pm
"Never trust someone who's dead."
Apparently this advice drawn from Dr Who, but it does sound like an improved version of the old "never trust a hippy".

They both sound like lines from Red Dwarf.

Never trust a hippy is a John Lydon quote.

"Never buy a boat from a hippy", OTOH, is a quote from someone who had bought a narrowboat from a hippy only to have its gearbox fail on one of the rivery bits of the Oxford canal, shortly before the Cropredy festival in 1999.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on July 03, 2014, 06:24:04 pm
"Grandad! I can't see! Your beard is in the way!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: PhilO on July 10, 2014, 02:52:26 pm
Riding back from Nursery with No2 son (4 years) on the trailer bike:

No2 son: Dad? Can you ride your bike along the top of that fence?

Me: No! I leave that sort of thing to Danny MacAskill.

No2 son: And Chris Akrigg!


The lad's learning!  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 04, 2014, 03:42:25 pm
"Can you get children's memberships of the CTC?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 26, 2014, 10:57:48 am
Among the raspberry canes: "Are we picking them or pick-and-eating-them?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: PaulF on August 26, 2014, 10:48:58 pm
At the sailing club this evening I had a beer with one of the other parents whilst waiting for my son. When he came out he looked at the empty glasses and said "a Well, it looks like you had a good time!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: tom_e on August 31, 2014, 09:23:04 pm
"I'm thirsty. I would like some cake."

Confused perhaps, but he got the important point across..
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on September 05, 2014, 09:24:16 am
Two boys walking to school today...
Boy 1: Shit, if it wasn't for the camouflage bag I'd be really cultivated.
Boy 2: If you were cultivated you wouldn't say "shit".
Boy 1: ... or crap ... or bollocks.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 10, 2014, 08:39:33 pm
"I'm trapped by my own bike!"
And indeed he was - but then he freed himself and got up, giggling, having fallen off when I tried to get him to signal. I think he'll do ok.  :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on October 02, 2014, 07:53:06 am
"It's better to wash your hands with hot water.  Because hot kills germs, and cold just makes them go to sleep."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: peliroja on October 09, 2014, 10:42:46 pm
The daughter of a friend of ours:

Two little sticky birds sitting on a wall...
I think it's supposed to be 'two little dickie birds'.
No, it's two little sticky birds. That's how they stay on the wall.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Si_Co on October 29, 2014, 12:47:13 pm
Well just about child utterances. On recent trip to tourist place that does family tickets for under 16's to which Miss S' friend (MSF) came:

Me: How old are you?
MSF: 15
Me: When do you turn 16?
MSF: On my birthday.

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on November 25, 2014, 05:58:49 pm
My daughter bought a shoulder of lamb the other day. Martha, almost 4½, saw this and was interested.

"Did they take a lamb from its mummy and turn it into that?" she enquired.

Ellen began explaining.

"They shouldn't have done that," said Martha, "it's not right. I don't like it."

I haven't yet found out whether Martha consumed any of the dead sheep concerned. Suffice it to say that last Thursday I cooked tea for her and her younger brother. I was intending to do, at Martha's request, fish fingers and tomato soup, a combination of which she is especially fond. However, I had to make up the quantity with a few chicken nuggets I found in their freezer and put these delicacies on the table for Mrs. Wow to supervise. To my consternation Martha consumed all four fish fingers and all five chicken nuggets without Inigo getting a look-in, so as recently as last Thursday it was OK to turn fish and chicken into those.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: scott on November 27, 2014, 02:56:15 am
Anders: "If you want High Definition, just stick a dictionary on top of the Empire State Building."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hatler on November 27, 2014, 06:55:58 am
Applause. Up to his usual standards !
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on November 27, 2014, 01:51:02 pm
Good stuff, Anders!
Kid brother, then at age similar to Anders, freezing on above ground Northern Line station.
Taps wall-mounted timetable.
"That's what you call hard-backed fiction."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: scott on November 27, 2014, 02:51:23 pm
"That's what you call hard-backed fiction."

 ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on December 09, 2014, 01:02:46 pm
On showing her
(http://blog.a-dan.me.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/shoulders.jpg)

Miss Dan the Elder says "that's just silly and dangerous".
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rogerzilla on December 24, 2014, 08:20:35 am
(Listening to Happy Xmas (War Is Over))

"Yoko doesn't do anything!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: DJR9 on December 24, 2014, 12:11:15 pm
Walked past the "little loo" the other day, four yr old sitting on it with the door open:

Are you OK Boo?

the answer - rock and roll daddy - rock and roll....
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: pcolbeck on December 29, 2014, 09:21:09 am
On being asked what comes next after blowing out the candles on his birthday cake my nephew Dermot (3) replied "jelly and cake for EVERYONE !".
Cant say fairer than that really.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 29, 2014, 02:37:09 pm
Add some bikes and I think your nephew's got the forum slogan.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on January 16, 2015, 10:17:00 am
Last night (at dinner) the Step-daughter-at-home (SDAH), who is 19, very delicately pointed out that we (Mum and Stepdad) are often rude and niggley with each other. She then asked us what was the point of getting married and living together. Stepson inadvertently blurted out 'sex'.
Turned several shades of crimson and declared that he must have Tourettes as he had no intention of saying that.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 22, 2015, 06:11:40 pm
Mrs Cudzo has been for a job interview. Went ok, but she's thinking about a total change of industry. Little gave her this advice: "You should be an author, then you wouldn't have to write a CV!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: tiermat on January 25, 2015, 11:06:31 am
Whilst I was living the rock n roll lifestyle yesterday (read I was ironing), I had the TV on the Kerrang channel. They played "Smells Like Teen Spirit". TLD, firstly, says "I like this one", then says "You like rock, don't you, daddy?"

I thought that was rather perceptive of her.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on January 26, 2015, 01:22:41 pm
Gosh, nothing gets past these kids, does it? ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: woollypigs on January 29, 2015, 09:11:20 pm
Found while randomly clicking about ...
(http://i.imgur.com/d6Q4hJp.png)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: woollypigs on February 18, 2015, 03:30:02 pm
8-9 year old girl studying closely the contents of a jar - couldn't see what it was - while speaking to her younger brother. Do you think that we could take one out and experiment one when we get home?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Paul on February 27, 2015, 11:41:26 pm
I was heading out yesterday evening to meet the chair of governors of our local school with a view to joining the board.

Dylan (5): "Don't say anything silly".

It's a perfectly sensible thing to say to me.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on March 17, 2015, 11:08:22 am
This is a food utterance.

MsC and her fiance live off a budget of £25 per week for food for the two of them. They can't afford many luxuries, like puddings, cakes, etc.

So last night he made profiteroles dipped in chocolate and topped with spun sugar.

It's cheap if you make it all from scratch, apparently.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on March 20, 2015, 08:26:09 pm
3 year old to nurse about to give her immunisations, one in each arm:
"Have you washed you hands?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 11, 2015, 09:45:43 pm
"What's the point of having Nutella and not being allowed to eat it straight from the jar?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: woollypigs on April 11, 2015, 09:56:21 pm
Wise word, very wise :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 11, 2015, 10:02:48 pm
I think you could be some sort of honorary uncle, Woolly.  :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: woollypigs on April 11, 2015, 10:33:13 pm
:) Who ever said it gets my vote for world leader.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on May 14, 2015, 07:23:51 pm
Miss Dan the Elder doing homework on dystopia, takes a look at the news for inspiration as to what might have led to her imagined state of the world:
"The news is all dystopian."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: scott on May 14, 2015, 11:01:22 pm
Dylan (5): "Don't say anything silly".

Might as well just stay home, then.  :-\
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on May 28, 2015, 12:52:52 pm
Miss Dan the Younger: this date looks like C3P0's wires
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: tiermat on May 28, 2015, 03:05:06 pm
TLD: "Dave Grohl swears a lot, doesn't he?"

Location: Stadium of Light for Foo Fighters concert.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 28, 2015, 05:08:34 pm
Confronted with a Silly Sustrans Slalom at the bottom a hill on NCN41: "Why do they put this here? It makes you lose momentum."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Paul on May 29, 2015, 06:42:35 pm
Miss Dan the Younger: this date looks like C3P0's wires

What sort of a date are we talking about here?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 29, 2015, 06:47:04 pm
Miss Dan the Younger: this date looks like C3P0's wires

What sort of a date are we talking about here?

I've been scratching my bonce over this one too ???
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on May 29, 2015, 11:39:51 pm
Deglet Nour

It was gold and a bit stringy.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on May 29, 2015, 11:50:21 pm
This evening we also had this exchange:
me: *moment of exasperation*
her: what are you going to do with seven hake?

OK, that's verging on befuddling, but I might start using "oh for seven hake" in conversation now and then.  :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 30, 2015, 03:41:47 pm
Seven hake for feeding the multitude?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on May 30, 2015, 03:54:27 pm
instead of "for heaven's sake"  :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 30, 2015, 05:34:31 pm
If there are seven hake how many loaves of bread are needed?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 30, 2015, 05:39:27 pm
We get that, but are you sure it was seven hake rather than Severn hake? (wiki says the nearest they get is the Mediterranean, but maybe they went for a wander?)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 30, 2015, 06:01:30 pm
Or could it be a reference to an area of woodland near Marlborough?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on May 30, 2015, 06:30:24 pm
She seemed fairly sure they were fish and more than one.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on June 09, 2015, 05:38:05 pm
The Little Duck is now capable of counting to (and recognising the symbols up to) six.

Clarion: Let's count to three!

LD:  Three!

Clarion: :facepalm:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Ruthie on June 09, 2015, 06:39:26 pm
 ;D  Oh excellent  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 09, 2015, 07:06:07 pm
Three is the most sensible number: one piece of cake in each hand and one in the gob!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on June 09, 2015, 10:32:49 pm
Three is the most sensible number: one piece of cake in each hand and one in the gob!
Also works for chocolate buttons  :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Vince on June 11, 2015, 02:43:18 pm
Three is the most sensible number: one piece of cake in each hand and one in the gob!
Also works for chocolate buttons  :D
and Twiglets
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: steve Anglesey on June 11, 2015, 03:06:11 pm
My 12 yr old daughter is just not getting on with one of her teachers. She feels the teacher has it in for her.
She said to me today:-
I can't even stand the sound of her voice dad,it goes right through my brain. Honestly dad her voice goes in one of my ears and straight through the other!!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on June 16, 2015, 07:33:59 pm
From my Twitter feed:

MY WANT PEDALS!
From a not yet two year old given a balance bike.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on June 16, 2015, 11:13:14 pm
This evening we also had this exchange:
me: *moment of exasperation*
her: what are you going to do with seven hake?

OK, that's verging on befuddling, but I might start using "oh for seven hake" in conversation now and then.  :)

Would that be the Seven Hake forest near Marlborough?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on June 17, 2015, 03:52:05 pm
DKUATB (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=56475.msg1869204#msg1869204)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on June 17, 2015, 05:00:48 pm
"How can you teach about coding, on the field, with jam?"

[a couple of hours later]

"Oh!  Now I see"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on June 17, 2015, 05:08:43 pm
"The coding teacher, on the field, with jam" = winning solution in a game of Cluedo co-scripted by Linus Torvalds and the WI.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on June 17, 2015, 06:46:09 pm
"The coding teacher ICT Technician, who is Supporting Teaching And Learning

;)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on June 22, 2015, 04:22:20 pm
SmallestCub, while getting ready for school this morning, and pondering the presence of a streetmachine in the living room of the Den whilst he sat on the sofa putting his socks on:

Quote
It's difficult to tell if barakta is still here or not, because she hasn't brought a bike.

EldestCub, whilst sat in the same spot this afternoon taking off school shoes, pondering the absence of a streetmachine:

Quote
What time did Kim and barakta leave?
(upon being told a little after 1)
Hmm. About three hours.  They might be nearly back.
(upon train times being checked and confirming their expected arrival time in Mordor)
Yes, they are probably just about in Silly Oak now

And then about two seconds later my phone bingly-bonged with a "home safe" text, in superlative synchronicity.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on June 22, 2015, 04:43:56 pm
I actually got home a fair bit before that, but waited for barakta - who was, as SmallestCub points out, bikeless and therefore reliant on the wumpty buzz for onward transportation - to arrive before sending the text.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on June 22, 2015, 09:59:44 pm
Little Duck, looking at Rich Forrest and Dawn's recumbent tandem and trailer 'Wow!'. This was only the second time he has said that word, the first being the day before, on observing a recumbent trike at York Rally  :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Torslanda on June 23, 2015, 02:30:56 am
The youngest on hearing the latest screaming foul-mouthed tirade from the fruitbat next door.*

"Somebody's got anger management issues!"

Will be 9 in August...**

*When they move out - which may or may not be prompted by several neighbours in white hoods holding pitchforks or flaming torches - I will buy the property from the landlord. That way I get to decide who I live next to, cos the last 3 sets have been pond scum.

**And is a sight more mature than those two fuckwits.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on June 23, 2015, 08:56:21 am
Little Duck, looking at Rich Forrest and Dawn's recumbent tandem and trailer 'Wow!'. This was only the second time he has said that word, the first being the day before, on observing a recumbent trike at York Rally  :D
Inigo has "Wow" as one of his stock expressions, but mostly refuses to speak. Apparently, when he wakes up at really stupid o'clock (he might easily become an audaxer) one of the ways to get his parents not to be totally pissed off with him is to start counting. "One... nine... four..." but during the day he is mostly silent, other than laughter or whingeing. Oh, he does say "durdlurdlurdlurdlurdle" quite a lot.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on June 23, 2015, 12:15:12 pm
Methinks that one day, when it suits him, Inigo will spout some well-constructed, complete sentences displaying complex logic.
Some little bright boys do this.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: pcolbeck on June 23, 2015, 12:20:24 pm
Methinks that one day, when it suits him, Inigo will spout some well-constructed, complete sentences displaying complex logic.
Some little bright boys do this.

I seem to remember Winston Churchill was one of those.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on June 23, 2015, 12:46:10 pm
My nephew didn't speak until he was well past his 3rd birthday. Once he started, and he did indeed come out with complete sentences, my brother showed him some photographs of elderly relatives he hadn't seen for quite some months and he could tell him all of their names.

Inigo understands pretty much all of what is said to him. A couple of days ago, whilst watching television, he was occupying a chair that I wanted to sit in. I said "Inigo, would you like to sit on my knee?" and without taking his eyes off the screen he stood up and when I sat down he lifted his arms to be picked up and plonked down again. He also reacts very sensibly to "I'm about to put the food on the table," rushing into the dining room and climbing up into his elevated seat. He tries to fasten the lap belt, but hasn't got the hang of it yet.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on June 23, 2015, 01:02:21 pm
Methinks that one day, when it suits him, Inigo will spout some well-constructed, complete sentences displaying complex logic.

"You killed my father.  Prepare to die!"

?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on June 23, 2015, 01:03:35 pm
Milkman still healthy?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: fboab on June 23, 2015, 01:22:04 pm
Methinks that one day, when it suits him, Inigo will spout some well-constructed, complete sentences displaying complex logic.
Some little bright boys do this.
Further Anecdata point: No2Son. Tertius child didn't bother talking till Quarta arrived.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on June 23, 2015, 02:38:29 pm
Methinks that one day, when it suits him, Inigo will spout some well-constructed, complete sentences displaying complex logic.
Some little bright boys do this.
Further Anecdata point: No2Son. Tertius child didn't bother talking till Quarta arrived.

Presumably, when Quarta arrived, Tertius realised speech was a more precise tool for achieving desires than the blunderbuss WAIL
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: fboab on June 23, 2015, 04:16:09 pm
Methinks that one day, when it suits him, Inigo will spout some well-constructed, complete sentences displaying complex logic.
Some little bright boys do this.
Further Anecdata point: No2Son. Tertius child didn't bother talking till Quarta arrived.

Presumably, when Quarta arrived, Tertius realised speech was a more precise tool for achieving desires than the blunderbuss WAIL
He wasn't much of a wailer, either. Lovely baby No2Son. Lovely young man, too, now, if we're honest.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on June 23, 2015, 09:24:36 pm
Methinks that one day, when it suits him, Inigo will spout some well-constructed, complete sentences displaying complex logic.
Some little bright boys do this.
Further Anecdata point: No2Son. Tertius child didn't bother talking till Quarta arrived.

Presumably, when Quarta arrived, Tertius realised speech was a more precise tool for achieving desires than the blunderbuss WAIL
He wasn't much of a wailer, either. Lovely baby No2Son. Lovely young man, too, now, if we're honest.

Nice to hear.
IME Primo and Secundo acted as interpreters between Youngest and Adults, reducing frustration.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 07, 2015, 08:00:35 pm
Boy of about 3 or 4, to his mother, on entering a new room in the museum:
— What's this?
— This is art.
— What do you do with it?
— You look at it. And decide whether you like it or not. How it makes you feel, happy or sad...
— It makes me feel sad. (Runs off towards dinosaur skeletons)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 21, 2015, 09:58:16 am
"I had the best dream ever. I was in Hogwarts and I was a penguin wearing shades."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on August 23, 2015, 09:53:48 pm
Quote from: EldestCub
Paris seems to be mostly tree-lined avenues
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Paul on September 09, 2015, 02:53:34 pm
When asked his address last night Louis (8, in an ambulance on way to hospital with possiblebutnotintheendthankthegodsactualmeningitis*) responded accurately but back to front: village, street, house number.

However, on reflection, it makes more sense that way.

Why do we generally describe/write addresses the wrong way around?

(*Yes - this is the real story here, but I've decided to focus on a distracting detail while I get my emotional stuff together. Louis is recovering nicely from quite a nasty bout of gastroenteritis)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: woollypigs on September 09, 2015, 03:44:07 pm
Yes, why do we write the address that way. Hope the wee man gets well soon.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on September 09, 2015, 04:08:03 pm
Little-endian is the BRITISH way for dates and addresses.  I suppose it makes a self-centred kind of sense, in a world where things are done locally by humans.  In a global routing context it seems quaint.  But at least it's consistent.

Note that arpanet got it right:  IP addresses are big-endian.  But DNS names are little-endian because they recurse better that way (which isn't all that different from delivering a letter in a small town, I suppose).  It does mean that URLs as we know them are a mess, with a little-endian DNS name followed by a big-endian path.  At least it's less ambiguous than leftpondian dates.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 09, 2015, 04:32:15 pm
Glad he's got "only" gastroenteritis and hope he recovers soon.

As to addresses, I guess it's just tradition. You can imagine in the past it was "Take this to John." "Where is he?" "At number 12." Then later "Which street?" and only after that "Which town/village?" But clearly there's a lot of cultural variation. The Polish way is street, number, post code, town; or else village, number, post code, post town. The Russian way IIRC is town, street, number, post code. Other formats are surely used in other places.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on September 09, 2015, 05:47:25 pm
^^^ In this neck of the woods the villagers tend to give their names big end first.  The guy who delivers our winter wood calls himself Schüler Albert. Germanic and/or bureaucratic influence, probably.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on September 09, 2015, 06:14:10 pm
Postcodes are big end first.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Paul on September 10, 2015, 01:11:29 pm
I once addressed a postcard (from hols) to a neighbour a street or two away from where we lived. I couldn't remember their house number so described it by location and car. Suzy was sceptical, but they got the card.

Glad he's got "only" gastroenteritis and hope he recovers soon.
Hope the wee man gets well soon.

Is quite well again and making up for lost eating, thank you.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Ruthie on September 10, 2015, 10:08:15 pm
That's good news, Paul.

My friend Tom (who is eleven), had a massive nosebleed tonight.  He pulled an enormous clot out of his nose (it was two inches long and half an inch wide, like a huge wobbly red slug, and said 'Mum, can we keep this so I can put it on Harriet's burger?'
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: menthel on September 30, 2015, 10:30:01 pm
The boy on seeing his new bike- "can you remove those horrible plastic bits?" He was pointing at the dork disk and then the wheel reflectors.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Torslanda on October 01, 2015, 11:50:37 am
Watching 'Who Do You Think You Are', the episode featuring the journalist, Frank Gardner.

Nicholas asks 'Why is he in a wheelchair?' when the announcer reveals he was shot six times.

He thought about it for a moment and then asked, 'Was it three bullets in each leg?'
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Ham on October 01, 2015, 10:38:40 pm
From a 25 year old child  (no law against that is there?) who asked me on the phone to open a package addressed to her with "London Marathon" all over, after I tell her it is the "Sorry but no" pack"

"Phew, that's a relief really. I can only just about run a bath."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Feanor on October 01, 2015, 11:07:31 pm
Note that arpanet got it right:  IP addresses are big-endian. 

Dull OT IP stuff...

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Feanor on October 01, 2015, 11:23:50 pm

I've just been Fermatted by Junior!

We have a multi-way online chat between myself, Mrs.F, Junior#1 in Edinburgh and Junior#2 still here at home.
I'm in a hotel bar in Bucharest.
<Ping!>

Junior#2: Can I have some help with this difficult maths problem?
Me, and Junior#1: OK, working on it.

<Many minutes pass, and 3 pages of A4 scribbling later I'm almost there, but beaten to it...>

Junior#1: Got it! Here's photos of 3 pages of A4 containing my solution.
Me: Well done, but I can't read it on the small screen on my phone.

Junior#1: "It's an elegant and wonderful solution, unfortunate that it doesn't fit on the screen."

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: pcolbeck on October 05, 2015, 10:23:46 am
Note that arpanet got it right:  IP addresses are big-endian. 

Dull OT IP stuff...

(click to show/hide)

Yup and some dingers still ask why they cant have the full Interenet BGP routing table on their low end router with bugger all RAM and CPU.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on October 06, 2015, 10:32:28 am
Don't drive too fast, daddy!

OK, but, before I'd started the engine? ;D

compare:

Not too much pickle [in cheese on toast]!

Wise words again.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on October 10, 2015, 02:11:35 pm
Never forget how sensible and wise your toddler can be!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on October 18, 2015, 12:52:47 pm
Miss Dan the Younger, improvising while "riding" some bike shaped bike stands...
Oh dear, we've missed our flight to Spain. It's OK, we'll just ride there. But we need some jet packs to get across the sea.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 26, 2015, 09:28:06 pm
"Where are they all coming from?" asked a small child splashing on a bridge as a baker's dozen of cyclists rode past. To which the sensible answer would have been "They're coming from the cafe and going to the pub."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: tiermat on October 26, 2015, 09:50:21 pm
"Dad, stop that, you'll mess around too much and fall off!"

All I was doing was trying to pull a wheelie!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Paul on October 26, 2015, 10:05:37 pm
And did you? I've never properly gone for it.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: tiermat on October 26, 2015, 10:17:16 pm
And did you? I've never properly gone for it.

Fall-off or pull a wheelie? Either way, no. Though I did nearly wash out on a corner a short time later.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Paul on October 26, 2015, 10:27:45 pm
I really must give it a proper go. I've got the no hands thing (well, on most bikes, on the flat, in a straight-ish line). I'd love to be able to do a wheelie.

And speak three languages, and cook in two, and be remembered fondly, and...

(Oh, it's Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances and not Mid-Life Crisis Wish Lists?)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on October 31, 2015, 05:23:05 pm
"It's stuck together!"

From one of two small children shouting back to their parents as Mrs. Wow and I rode past on the tandem.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on November 02, 2015, 07:11:09 pm
Daughter emerges from shower, dons dressing gown, leaves bathroom. 2-year-old son, so far with limited vocabulary, demands to be picked up so she does so and sits him on her knee. He opens the top of her dressing gown and looks quizzically for a few seconds at the contents. Then, very clearly, whilst pointing, "One..., two...!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 15, 2015, 06:19:50 pm
Along the lines of "I say potato, you say potaaaaaaaaaaahto":
"Some say toilet paper, others say sponge on a stick."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on November 18, 2015, 11:56:55 pm
Four-year-old niece, out in Chilterns yesterday (very cold, wet and windy) flying kites:
"I want to be home in my pyjamas, drinking hot chocolate."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: pcolbeck on November 19, 2015, 04:25:48 pm
Daughter emerges from shower, dons dressing gown, leaves bathroom. 2-year-old son, so far with limited vocabulary, demands to be picked up so she does so and sits him on her knee. He opens the top of her dressing gown and looks quizzically for a few seconds at the contents. Then, very clearly, whilst pointing, "One..., two...!"

That's about as far as as any male gets when looking at naked boobies.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on November 19, 2015, 06:54:37 pm
That's about as far as as any male gets when looking at naked boobies.

Total Recall.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on November 19, 2015, 06:59:14 pm
That's about as far as as any male gets when looking at naked boobies.

Total Recall.

Or Eccentrica Gallumbits...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: menthel on November 27, 2015, 12:01:13 pm
My son a the weekend was singing "We're going to the pub!", and we did.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on November 27, 2015, 01:12:47 pm
My son a the weekend was singing "We're going to the pub!", and we did.
I like this child. Can I borrow them?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: menthel on November 27, 2015, 02:00:59 pm
My son a the weekend was singing "We're going to the pub!", and we did.
I like this child. Can I borrow them?

We ended up with 3 of them singing it as he taught it to his two friends. When we left they all sang (unprompted) "We've been to the pub"!

Happy to lend out children to anyone who wants an excuse to go to the pub. ;)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on November 27, 2015, 02:57:43 pm
Come on!
Come on!
'Urry up 'Arry, come on
Come on!
Come on!
'Urry up 'Arry, come on
Weeeeee're goin' dahn the pub!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on November 27, 2015, 03:31:04 pm
In the charts, when my Kid Brother was about three was that 'Day Trip to Bangor' song.
'And on the way back,
I cuddled with Jack
And we opened a bottle of cider.'

"Dink it!" pipes up child.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on November 27, 2015, 03:36:17 pm
Is that a reference to what should happen to the cider, or a ribald remark in some modern vernacular of which I am unaware concerning what Jack should do to her with whom he had had erstwhile cuddles?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on November 27, 2015, 03:45:06 pm
Three year old brother was perfectly innocent, though accustomed to imbibing cider at Family Celebrations.

There was never any lower age limit for alcohol in our family (though I believe it is unlawful to give non-medicinal alcohol to a child under five years old).

I do not think any of us has been harmed as a result.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: pcolbeck on December 01, 2015, 05:24:29 pm
My great grandma used to give us port and lemon when we were very small ...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 01, 2015, 07:14:43 pm
These I've read, so they're cheating, but I think they're quite funny. They're all from Dervla Murphy's five-year-old daughter on their journey to South India.

1. An elderly missionary nun asks her "Do you love Jesus?" to which she replies "Yes. And I love Hanuman and Ganesh too. Especially Ganesh because he has such a beautiful round tummy."

2. Having discussed the Hindu idea of rebirth. "Won't it be interesting to be dead! Then we'll know everything. Would you like to be dead?"

3. "I think I'm too young to understand Hinduism. Will you explain it again when I'm eight?" By my calculations she's now 47 and I'd like to think she's still saying "Will you explain it again when I'm fifty?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on December 24, 2015, 03:34:13 pm
"No, you have to call me 'Spider Man' because I'm Spider Man now."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on December 31, 2015, 10:03:48 pm
Me: This book is called 'Shark In The Park'.  Have you ever seen a shark in the park?

Little Duck: *thinks carefully*  Not lately
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Clare on December 31, 2015, 11:16:05 pm
Is the park near a canal?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 01, 2016, 12:58:17 pm
Or a cycle path?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: pcolbeck on January 06, 2016, 01:33:31 pm
"You have to do it, it's Gods rule !" - Dermott aged 4 just.

Formally knows as "the Dermonster" now known as "The Voice of God". Think Stewie from Family Guy but with a Yorkshire accent and more attitude.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on January 12, 2016, 09:08:51 pm
Conversation at breakfast a couple of days ago:

'Where's Bob?'
'Bob that goes camping?'
'Yes, is he in his tent?'
'I think he's probably at his house.'
'Ok. I like Bob'.

Canardly, Nye's concerned about you!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: nikki on January 12, 2016, 09:38:32 pm
Aw!

(I'm still adjusting to the idea of Nye being able to talk, as I think he was mostly pointing and "da!"ing the last time we met.)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on January 12, 2016, 09:53:18 pm
Aw!

(I'm still adjusting to the idea of Nye being able to talk, as I think he was mostly pointing and "da!"ing the last time we met.)

We clearly haven't seen you for far too long! The strange thing about him asking about Bob is that we haven't seen him since September.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on January 12, 2016, 09:58:20 pm
(I'm still adjusting to the idea of Nye being able to talk, as I think he was mostly pointing and "da!"ing the last time we met.)

Small children get firmware updates between visits.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on January 12, 2016, 10:02:38 pm
(I'm still adjusting to the idea of Nye being able to talk, as I think he was mostly pointing and "da!"ing the last time we met.)

Small children get firmware updates between visits.

At the moment he's getting updates between meals I think! Everyday something new.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: nikki on January 12, 2016, 10:25:42 pm
(I'm still adjusting to the idea of Nye being able to talk, as I think he was mostly pointing and "da!"ing the last time we met.)

Small children get firmware updates between visits.

At the moment he's getting updates between meals I think! Everyday something new.

 ;D  ;D  ;D

We clearly haven't seen you for far too long!

This!

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on January 12, 2016, 10:26:53 pm
(I'm still adjusting to the idea of Nye being able to talk, as I think he was mostly pointing and "da!"ing the last time we met.)

Small children get firmware updates between visits.

Larger ones too!  EldestCub has joined a band.  And got a fb account, primarily so he can like the band's page.  I definitely have a teen...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: barakta on January 12, 2016, 10:45:08 pm
:)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on January 13, 2016, 09:39:53 am
(I'm still adjusting to the idea of Nye being able to talk, as I think he was mostly pointing and "da!"ing the last time we met.)

Small children get firmware updates between visits.

Larger ones too!  EldestCub has joined a band.  And got a fb account, primarily so he can like the band's page.  I definitely have a teen...

Oooh eck!  Next thing you know the den will be full of the drummer behaving like he's after a new world record in the "shortest time taken to get an ASBO"  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: nikki on January 13, 2016, 10:21:06 am
Larger ones too!  EldestCub has joined a band.  And got a fb account, primarily so he can like the band's page.  I definitely have a teen...

Gosh! That's all going to eat into his KSP time!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on January 13, 2016, 10:58:50 pm
Larger ones too!  EldestCub has joined a band.  And got a fb account, primarily so he can like the band's page.  I definitely have a teen...

Gosh! That's all going to eat into his KSP time!

He's actually been on a bit of a Portal-playing run of late...

(And they apparently have access to drumkits at two other band members' abodes, so it seems that the Den need not be troubled for band rehearsals. Those forumites familiar with its spatial properties and limitations will appreciate my relief at discovering this!)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on February 14, 2016, 06:39:22 pm
Reporting from my daughter...
Quote
Playing I-spy in the car phonetically between Marf, Mum and Dad as Inigo (aged 2) a) rarely speaks and b) can't spell. Ig silently stares out the window at the cows for what seems like hours.

Marf: 'I-spy with my little eye, something beginning with 'w''.
Inigo: 'Wa Wa. A duck.'

Something IS going on in that little brain...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 24, 2016, 04:52:10 pm
He's almost too old to fit in this board, but it's very apt: YACF = Your Adventurous Cycling Friend.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on March 20, 2016, 03:08:08 pm
We stopped at the crossroads near our favourite cafe.  Nye hopped off the tandem, and said 'I go to get lollipop!'
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jsabine on April 04, 2016, 11:59:35 am
"Stop singing, Daddy. You just drive."


(My wife's niece, not yet four but already realising that my wife and her siblings are not the most musical of people.)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on April 17, 2016, 07:08:01 pm
<doorbell goes>
Miss Dan the Elder answers it.
Person at the door: Are your parents in?
Miss Dan the Elder: no.
<door closes, Miss Dan the Elder comes to lounge>
Me: who was it?
Miss Dan the Elder: Someone selling something. I said you weren't in.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: menthel on April 18, 2016, 10:58:52 am
On hearing that a friend wanted to quit her current job but didn't know what she wanted to do the boy asked, in his most serious tone, "Well, what skills does she have?".
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 27, 2016, 03:10:58 pm
Remembered from 20 years ago. The children involved were about 3:
Child 1: I've got a jumper on.
Child 2: I've got two jumperons.

Learnt recently from a much older child:
Forget epic, boss, beast and even awesome, the hottest word to say something's cool is "decent".
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on April 27, 2016, 03:30:28 pm
Similarly from when our son was about 3:

- Will you please behave?
- I am being have.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 24, 2016, 06:50:54 pm
"Finn and Elliot had a diss off."

A much better phrase than the old 'slanging match'.
(It wasn't Elliot but I've forgotten who it was, and you don't know anyway!)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on June 02, 2016, 02:54:24 pm
Andrew (2 11/12):  "Daddy, you like trees.  I like hedges."
Me: "What about Mummy?"
Andrew: "Mummy likes grass!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Feanor on June 20, 2016, 10:47:10 pm
Junior has never had to suffer On-Line training courses before.
( I, as a cynical old employee, have done enough of them to know the score. )

We are off on our holliberries soon, which will involve the kids doing a PADI scuba course.
( Us grown-ups already have all the necessary courses and dive logs. )

These days, you can elect to do the dull classroom stuffs on-line in advance, thus freeing up your time in-resort to do actual in-water stuffs.
My god is it turgid!

He opined that he was half-way to the half-way point of section 1 of 5, and was loosing the will to live.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: CrinklyLion on June 21, 2016, 06:34:09 am
Two from the SmallestCub at the weekend....

1) Upon walking in to CrinklyAuntie and CrinklyUncle's hotel suite when we went to fetch her alternative wedding shoes before the post-ceremony pre-dinner wedding dog walk:  "It's like a proper house!"

2) Of Donald Trump, during a lengthy conversation about wealth, nationalism, privilege and American politics: "He sounds a bit dumb..."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on July 23, 2016, 05:10:24 pm
At the seaside last weekend, I took him in the sea. He was unimpressed. When I asked what he didn't like he said 'It's too... watery'.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 25, 2016, 08:48:11 am
"Feeling sleepy is a normal part of being human."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on July 25, 2016, 02:35:29 pm
"Feeling sleepy is a normal part of being human."

That is T-Shirt worthy!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on July 25, 2016, 04:29:49 pm
At the seaside last weekend, I took him in the sea. He was unimpressed. When I asked what he didn't like he said 'It's too... watery'.

E took I & M to Whitstable a few days ago. M was very confident in the water, to the extent that E decided that she needed to go in with her. I would go in with his mum, but not with his dad.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on August 20, 2016, 01:23:13 pm
Child in adjacent train seat: "Why would you want cold tea?"

And now: "Why isn't the train moving? They probably need to press a button."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: woollypigs on August 20, 2016, 03:59:56 pm
Yup horrid stuff.

You should have explained that it just look like it is not moving since he is inside it. But to the alien invasion force, and our soon to be lizard over lords, it looks like it is moving.

Both are equally stuff of nightmares.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 21, 2016, 01:36:55 pm
Cold tea is better than no tea! Just about.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on October 11, 2016, 11:09:24 am
(After Andrew - 3 - slipped and fell down the stairs)
Mummy: Where did you hurt yourself?
Andrew: On the stairs!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on October 11, 2016, 08:32:12 pm
Miss Dan the Elder: Please stop telling me about Physics so I can do my Physics homework.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rr on October 12, 2016, 04:45:21 pm
So do eggs have to be fertilised before they are aged?

No

So they're chicken periods then
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Julian on October 25, 2016, 07:43:10 pm
(After I had completed the most perfect reverse parking and turned off the engine)

"Well done, mama!"

;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on October 25, 2016, 09:20:17 pm
(After I had completed the most perfect reverse parking and turned off the engine)

"Well done, mama!"

;D

 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on October 26, 2016, 10:34:29 am
The Inlaw Paw went through a phase of greeting every successful manoeuvre with "you're doing very well, Mrs. Webb". Drove us scatty.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 06, 2016, 10:37:05 pm
"I'm pretty sure if you're a saint, one of the rules is you can't have killed anyone."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on November 06, 2016, 10:56:14 pm
I thought you just needed lots of patience...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Julian on November 12, 2016, 10:34:36 pm
Charlotte: (patiently explaining to Iris why throwing dinner on the floor is not sensible) If you throw peas on the floor, Mummy has to pick them up.

Iris: Hoover.

[throws peas]
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on November 12, 2016, 10:40:41 pm
Sounds like a vote for peas on earth...  Impeccable logic though.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on November 14, 2016, 12:01:20 pm
Andrew to me: May I please have that piece of play dough, sweetheart?  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on January 07, 2017, 10:10:51 pm
"Are we nearly at the mistake agents?"
 ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on January 07, 2017, 11:29:16 pm
Reminds me of nephew who called M&S Marks and Spensive...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: cycleman on January 08, 2017, 10:06:32 am
m and s  moldy and stale  ;)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Si S on January 12, 2017, 12:12:54 pm
She doesn't really qualify anymore but she's my child. Driving up the M62 with her Mum yesterday on the way to a uni interview:

Miss S: Why's there a sign for Halifax on the motorway.

Mrs S: Because it's nearby.

Miss S: But it's a bank Mum!

 ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on January 12, 2017, 01:46:13 pm
Hell, Hull and Barclays doesn't quite cut it.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Ham on January 13, 2017, 09:51:03 am
(https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15894482_1514570741905712_5625497385028475149_n.jpg?oh=a4df2ea83432b4dcb14b34107dbec83e&oe=58E1CC14)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on January 13, 2017, 07:25:12 pm
Not sure I can adequately render the noise in text, but a child in a kiddy seat on the back of a bike, as his dad cycled over cobbles, going er-uh-oh-er-uh-oh with every bump.  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jsabine on February 08, 2017, 08:03:15 am
My wife's niece, four anna half, on being told they were going to move house:

- Why?
- Because we need a bigger house.
- Oh.

<looks puzzled>
<goes away>
<ponders>
<comes back>

- Are we going to be giants?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Peter on February 08, 2017, 07:52:58 pm
Brilliant!

re an earlier post:  anyone else feel that calling pre-school children "students" should go in "Perfectly nonsensical adult utterances" ?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on February 08, 2017, 07:59:18 pm
You mean that you don't have any pre-school studes?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on February 08, 2017, 08:45:55 pm
Brilliant!

re an earlier post:  anyone else feel that calling pre-school children "students" should go in "Perfectly nonsensical adult utterances" ?

+1
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on February 09, 2017, 02:24:34 pm
Quote
We're going on a bear hunt,
We're going to catch a big one,
What a beautiful day!
We're not scared.

Uh-oh!

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on March 09, 2017, 02:13:05 pm
Enemy board  n.  Device used by mistake agents for keeping their fingernails tidy.

(Overheard yesterday, in the shampoo corner of Wilkos)

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on March 12, 2017, 09:35:26 pm
Mrs Wow opted to be known as Grandma. Her counterpart is Nana. However, both granddads are known as Granddad. It seems that The Other Granddad has recently been distinguished by use of the epithet "Granddad Chin". :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on March 12, 2017, 09:40:40 pm
We had a similar naming scheme.  Paternal Grandpa was named "Grandpa Spikings" by my younger brother, on account of prickly facial hair.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: matthew on March 12, 2017, 10:29:53 pm
We all know that Wow will be known as "Granddad Santa"   :demon:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jsabine on March 13, 2017, 09:31:42 am
Grandalf?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on March 13, 2017, 10:22:20 am
My parents have been Grandma & Grandad for my older kids (the issue didn't come up since their maternal grandfather had died early, and their grandmother had been called 'Muzzer', hence 'Muzz', and then, naturally, 'Gruzz').

However, Butterfly's parents have been called Grandma & Grandad for almost as long by our nieces & nephews.  Hard to change it.  So The Duck has 'Grandad with Molly the Cat' and 'Grandad with the orange car'. Grandmas, it seems, are interchangeable ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: DuncanM on March 29, 2017, 08:50:22 am
We had "Daddy's Grandma" and "Mummy's Grandma", meaning the Grandma belonging to a specific side of the family (same for Grandads). Until my mum complained because she thought it made her sound like the next generation up!  ::-) Now it's just context that distinguishes them.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on March 29, 2017, 09:48:55 am
'Those trees look like a row of broccoli!'
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 29, 2017, 11:07:00 am
'Those trees look like a row of broccoli!'

When she was a Tiny, the daughter of my chum Jim used to refer to cauliflower and broccoli as "white tree" and "green tree".
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on March 30, 2017, 11:39:37 am
My parents have been Grandma & Grandad for my older kids (the issue didn't come up since their maternal grandfather had died early, and their grandmother had been called 'Muzzer', hence 'Muzz', and then, naturally, 'Gruzz').

However, Butterfly's parents have been called Grandma & Grandad for almost as long by our nieces & nephews.  Hard to change it.  So The Duck has 'Grandad with Molly the Cat' and 'Grandad with the orange car'. Grandmas, it seems, are interchangeable ;D

Andrew has Nana and The Little Grandpa on Jo's side, and Granny and Big Tall Grandpa on my side.

My paternal grandparents went by the epithets Moi and Poi, coined by my elder brother and still referred to as such today (although Moi died 23 years ago and Poi 10).
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on March 30, 2017, 11:44:10 am
Having a discussion with Andrew about our family surname, I explained that he and Daniel have the same surname as Mummy and me, and that Mummy changed her surname when we got married.  Probed a bit further, I explained that when two people love each other very much, they can make a special promise to live together forever and always look after each other.

"When I grow up, can I get married to Daniel?"  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on April 06, 2017, 06:56:59 pm
Quote from: Martha
I think... when it gets hot, people in cars with tattoos on their arms... they put their arms where the window should be.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on April 08, 2017, 09:46:04 pm
On Thursday Nye and I rode the tandem to Brighton. We passed some touring cyclists with luggage. "That's what I need on my bike"  said Nye who is clearly hi mother's son  :thumbsup:

It made me think of Jogler and how he joked about all my luggage. 
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: clarion on April 30, 2017, 09:53:19 pm
Singing: 'Yay, bumps. They slow you down'
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on May 18, 2017, 03:49:32 pm
Andrew (3): Mummy, the water in the bath gets higher when you get in!
Mummy: Yes darling.  Can you repeat after me: "Archimedes Principle"?
Andrew (3): Archi-medes Prin-ci-ple
Mummy: EUREKA!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: DuncanM on May 19, 2017, 02:36:41 pm
Working her way through a list of maths (voluntarily - she keeps the sheets they get given first thing in school and completes them at home!).
Quote
Oh, algebra. I love algebra.
She's 7. :)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on June 27, 2017, 08:45:16 pm
My mum was babysitting her friend's children the other day. The youngest is about three, maybe four now.

Small boy: who's that in your car?
Mum: you mean the little toy on the dashboard?
Small boy: yes, who's he?
Mum: that's Elvis
Small boy: Elvis?
Mum: *explanation of Elvis, how much she liked him, how she cried when he died and how I remember her crying*
Small boy: and you still like him even though he's dead
Mum: yes, I love him
Small boy: that's thapetic!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 28, 2017, 06:41:16 pm
"If a child was born on Mars, we'd have to have Planet of Birth on our passports."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on June 29, 2017, 11:51:04 am
"Why do hammers have to ham things?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on June 29, 2017, 01:39:45 pm
If your only tool is a hammer, everything needs hamming?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 29, 2017, 02:22:11 pm
But hammers are only good at hamming down, not hamming things up.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: chris n on July 10, 2017, 08:09:17 am
Sam, trying to get some time to himself: I need a piece of quiet.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jsabine on July 17, 2017, 11:59:55 pm
Dramatis personae: my wife's brother, and his daughter, who is not quite five.

- Am I the best daddy in the world?
- No, daddy.
  <wags finger>
  You need to try harder.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on July 18, 2017, 12:32:32 am
Sounds like the EVIL influence of premature formal education...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on July 18, 2017, 08:12:03 am
Someone's been reading Calvin & Hobbes.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on September 04, 2017, 03:02:24 pm
Step-granddaughter, who is one year and 10 months, has just learned the word 'excellent'.

Her uncle (who is 32) says to her "Laurie, am I an excellent uncle?".

Step-granddaughter thinks for a minute, shakes her head and says "Acceptable".

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: woollypigs on September 04, 2017, 03:06:41 pm
Yup clearly not enough Lego in her shared life with her uncle.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jsabine on December 19, 2017, 12:43:52 am
Dramatis personae: my wife's brother, and his daughter, who is not quite five.

- Am I the best daddy in the world?
- No, daddy.
  <wags finger>
  You need to try harder.
Sounds like the EVIL influence of premature formal education...

Context for this was fathers' day: my BIL had been given a card which proclaimed him the best daddy in the world, and was foolish enough to seek affirmation. I don't *think* formal education had anything to do with it, as the little minx had not yet started school, though she had been at a playgroup.

Meantime, she's recently told her mother who is boss:

- Mummy, you need to come when I clap my hands, and do what I say.
- Oh? Why do I have to come when you clap your hands?
- Because I don't have a bell.

(No, we are not getting her a bell for Christmas. It's tempting, but I don't think her parents would forgive us.)

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on December 19, 2017, 01:31:28 am
I know one lady who decided to be a teacher when she was five because she was the bossiest girl in the class.
We met as students, when she was at the local College of Education...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Greenbank on December 28, 2017, 08:12:25 pm
Playing Boggleslam with 8yo daughter.

You start with a word made up of individual letter cards (i.e. L I V E) and are dealt a bunch of cards with individual letters on, once you start you place your cards down one at a time over any previous letter as long as it makes a proper word (and doesn't repeat the letter that is already there). No turns, just a free-for-all in order to get rid of all of your cards first.

S I C K
T I C K
T U C K
...rummaging around in cards by everyone...
T A C K
S A C K
S U C K
...
her: Oh, I can't really play my F card now can I?

3 levels of awareness:-
a) What the word is (we don't swear around her ourselves but she's been plenty of places where she will have heard it)
b) Knowing not to say the word
c) Being able to let us know both (a) and (b)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 16, 2018, 11:31:31 am
Small girl walking with father, mother lagging behind: "Mummy! I love you! Come on!"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jsabine on February 28, 2018, 12:09:17 am
My wife's niece, on seeing me struggle to unwrap a Kraft Single: "You're not a tough guy, are you?"

Very perceptive, that one.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: jsabine on March 02, 2018, 12:53:36 am
Her^ brother, 3, on being subjected to TV news reports about storm Emma: "I don't want to watch the snow. I want to watch Peppa."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Morat on April 01, 2018, 06:33:41 pm
Mini Morat (6  and 3/4) on being asked whether his school buddy would like a Rugby Ball to go with all his footballs for his birthday.

"No, I don't think so. He finds it hard to use his hands because of his Terrible Palsy"

Which, of course, was faultless logic even if the medical jargon was slightly off. I felt like a complete idiot.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on April 05, 2018, 08:08:20 am
Andrew (4): Mummy, look at this!
Mummy: I can't, darling, I'm driving.
Andrew: Well, use the eyes in the back of your head, then.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 05, 2018, 08:50:53 am
Small boy about 5 to his father, walking up the steps of the Central Library:
"Is this the real library?"
"Yes."
"Did you say yes?"
"Yes."
"Has it got a pirate ship?"
"Yes."

There is a pirate ship in the children's section of the library, but I'm intrigued as to what an unreal library might be.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: cycleman on April 05, 2018, 09:39:13 am
It will have a large ape as librarian  ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on April 05, 2018, 12:44:31 pm
There is a pirate ship in the children's section of the library, but I'm intrigued as to what an unreal library might be.

One that's not connected to L-space.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Greenbank on April 05, 2018, 01:15:45 pm
A complex library?

(Dewey-decimal: 515.3+803.2i ?)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: tom_e on April 21, 2018, 06:07:12 pm
Was fettling family bikes in the garden today for a while, and guest child was moved to say "Your dad is sitting and fixing your bike as if it's the most normal thing in the world."

Is it not?  Do other people not sit in the garden on a Saturday afternoon fiddling with bicycles?
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on May 08, 2018, 09:56:14 am
Andrew (4): Mummy, look at this!
Mummy: I can't, darling, I'm driving.
Andrew: Well, use the eyes in the back of your head, then.
Further to this:
Andrew (still 4):  Let's play Hide-and-Seek; Mummy, close ALL your eyes!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Guy on May 08, 2018, 01:30:58 pm
Was fettling family bikes in the garden today for a while, and guest child was moved to say "Your dad is sitting and fixing your bike as if it's the most normal thing in the world."

Is it not?  Do other people not sit in the garden on a Saturday afternoon fiddling with bicycles?

If my local town Facething page is to be believed most people spend their weekend afternoons asking if there's anyone local who fixes / replaces flat tires (sic). One of the simplest transport-fettling jobs known to humanity and there are loads of adults who just can't manage to do it. Not only can they not achieve something easily mastered by primary skool-age kids, but they can't manage to remember who they paid to fix it for them last time and have to spam Facething to ask the same question over and over again. ::-)
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: lou boutin on May 13, 2018, 09:47:33 pm
I overheard a couple of conversations between couple of fathers and their kids tprecently, and both made me smile. 

Onfriday as I queued in the supermarket I heard a little girl say to her dad. 'Daddy, I want a kitten'
Dad 'we'll have to see'
Girl 'I don't care what you say, I'm goingt to the place where they make kittens and I'm going to get one'.

Today as I packed my car, I overheard a little boy and his father discussing a Sold sale outside a neighbouring house

Boy ' I'm surprised that's sold, if people rent too long they can't save money and then can't buy a house. It's a cruel world'.

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: rr on May 18, 2018, 10:17:48 pm
What have we done right? Fifteen years old daughter is saying "why is Meghan Markle bowing to the patriarchy by having Charles walk her down the aisle? What's wrong with her mother"
Agreed, my wife and I walked in and out together.

Sent from my moto x4 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: barakta on May 19, 2018, 10:12:14 am
 :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

I also thought that was odd. I mean if you're GONNA do the whole walked down the aisle thing, the message "handed" from one family to another etc...

My parents split the 'father of the bride' jobs for my sister, dad walked her down the aisle and mum did the speech which was the sane way round cos mum has 2 left feet and would have tripped down the aisle and my dad isn't just monosyllabic, he's non-o-syllabic.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on June 12, 2018, 07:26:25 pm
Andrew (4): When I grow up I'm going to go to a Chinese school and teach English... Or PE!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on July 31, 2018, 06:51:48 pm
‘Daddy, you draw me a stegosaurus and cut it out, please Daddy. Pleeeease.’
***
‘Er, it have spiny plates. On its back.’
‘Ok.’
‘And it have thagomizers.’
‘What’s a thagomizer?’
‘It is spikes. On its tail.’
‘Ok.’
***
‘Erm... it have four thagomizers, not two.’

11 very specific dinosaurs and half an hour later...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 31, 2018, 07:26:03 pm
It's amazing how much detail fits in a small child's brain. My son at the age of three or four could accurately identify about twenty different species of shark. I expect he'd deny this now.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on July 31, 2018, 08:19:07 pm
The real problem is that palaeontology progresses at a rate that renders all your dinosaur knowledge out-of-date by your mid teens, unless you have an professional interest in the field, or smalls of your own to keep you up to date with the current literature.

This explains the Jurassic Park reboots.


Actually, I'm going to start a list of things that are best done by under-10s.  #1 is the waving of chequered flags at the end of bicycle races - if you want that job done properly, give it to someone small enough to have an appropriately unambiguous degree of enthusiasm (DAHIKT).  Technical consultancy for Jurassic Cretaceous Park sequels can go in at #2.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 31, 2018, 08:33:27 pm
Yes, between my era of dinosaurology and my son's, brontosaurus had become extinct and its evolutionary niche been taken by diplodocus! At least, I think it was diplodocus.

Another one you can add to your list is carrying/pushing trolleys and baskets in supermarkets.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on August 01, 2018, 09:49:50 am
Then you slowly realize that you have progressed from knowing about fossils to being one.  :'(
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Mr Larrington on August 01, 2018, 11:51:26 am
The real problem is that palaeontology progresses at a rate that renders all your dinosaur knowledge out-of-date by your mid teens, unless you have an professional interest in the field, or smalls of your own to keep you up to date with the current literature.

It is, however, pleasing to note that the term "thagomi[s|z]er" is still current.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on August 01, 2018, 12:03:14 pm
The real problem is that palaeontology progresses at a rate that renders all your dinosaur knowledge out-of-date by your mid teens, unless you have an professional interest in the field, or smalls of your own to keep you up to date with the current literature.

It is, however, pleasing to note that the term "thagomi[s|z]er" is still current.

Googlepedia suggests that the term was embraced by the palaeontology community after a conference in 1993.  When I was in my mid-teens.  Which is why I'd missed it completely.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on August 01, 2018, 01:04:44 pm
By diligent googleization I have unearthed a picture from said conference.

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/65/Thagomizer.png)

See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thagomizer
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 13, 2018, 03:17:47 pm
A new house was built next to us at the end of last year and a family moved in with a boy of about three and, now, a month-old baby. The other day mother, baby and toddler were all outside enjoying the sunshine. The little boy had pieces of bark in a large tin can, one of which he offered to me. He explained that he was having a wedding; the pieces of bark were confetti. His mother said "He calls a husband a 'dancing man' and a wife is a 'dancing lady'." I would like to commend these excellent terms to the forum.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on August 22, 2018, 01:10:20 pm
This is actually a perfectly sensible parent utterance, but there's clearly not going to be enough material for a whole thread of that.
Small child: Why are those people's tents so small?
Mother: So they can put them on their bikes and go wherever they want.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: hellymedic on August 22, 2018, 01:41:06 pm
Sensible child question getting a sensible adult answer.

Shame such is so unusual...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: chris n on October 20, 2018, 06:37:52 am
Sam, after eating two freeze pops: 'I've got brain freeze.  Will I die?'
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on October 22, 2018, 02:43:40 pm
Andrew had PE on Monday
On Tuesday:-

Me: Did you have PE today?
Andrew (5): Yes.
Me: What, two days running?
Andrew: (well, you can guess what Andrew said)

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 12, 2018, 06:56:09 pm
Mum, dad and two little boys ~5 riding along the cycle path. Both kids have huge mud stripes. Dad is saying something about new bikes and the second Little pipes up, "I'm getting big wheels and mudguards. Dad, why don't you have mudguards?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on December 18, 2018, 12:11:57 am
Friend-of-a-friend's 5 year old after learning about Apartheid and 20th century gender politics: "So when people used to think that women weren't as good as men, were men and women allowed to marry each other?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on December 18, 2018, 08:25:49 am
Our walk/cycle around the big lake at Rocester on Sunday had a hurried finish as Andrew rode back to us and announced "I need the toilet!"  On establishing it was a #2, we rapidly bundled him and his brother back into the car and set off for home.  A minute or so later, there was another announcement: "You can slow down now, Mummy, it's gone back up!"  :-\
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on December 18, 2018, 09:01:10 am
He has a great future in Audax.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Ashaman42 on December 18, 2018, 09:53:48 am
Better than the alternative as well.

Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk

Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 10, 2019, 08:22:55 pm
Boy approximately four years old, while walking past some fountains, with wild enthusiasm: "Waterrr! There's waterrr! I love waterrr!"
He was on his way to Za Za Bazaar with his family all dressed up (he was the smallest), so presumably already full of excitement before he saw the fountains.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on February 02, 2019, 12:09:24 pm
"Grandad, what happened to your hair?"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on February 02, 2019, 07:36:01 pm
"Grandad, what happened to your hair?"

A few days back, I was telling Nye that everyone has to brush their hair. "Even Grandad?" He asked in amazement. I confirmed that even Grandads, both of whom have limited amounts of hair, brush the hair they have. Which may not take long. They do have beards to maintain though.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on February 02, 2019, 07:55:01 pm
"Grandad, what happened to your hair?"

A few days back, I was telling Nye that everyone has to brush their hair. "Even Grandad?" He asked in amazement. I confirmed that even Grandads, both of whom have limited amounts of hair, brush the hair they have. Which may not take long. They do have beards to maintain though.

Next week's lesson:  White people with dreadlocks.   ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on February 04, 2019, 07:58:29 pm
"Grandad, what happened to your hair?"

A few days back, I was telling Nye that everyone has to brush their hair. "Even Grandad?" He asked in amazement. I confirmed that even Grandads, both of whom have limited amounts of hair, brush the hair they have. Which may not take long. They do have beards to maintain though.

Next week's lesson:  White people with dreadlocks.   ;D

This is not going to be mentioned. I remember when Jamie had long hair that he wasn't great at looking after. Nye gave him nits. Unbrushable hair is not happening in a house where I wash the towels. I like my towels without pets.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: fd3 on February 17, 2019, 11:27:36 pm
On way to swimming lessons today, spotted a bike with "for scrap or to fix" sign - a charge SS which needed tyres pumping up and a new seatpost&saddle. 
#1 child: "That bike just needs a new saddle and mudguards."
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on February 19, 2019, 07:33:03 pm
Andrew (5): So, what's the deal with Theresa May's deal?  (yes, really!)  Is it 'yes' or 'no'?
Mummy: What would you like it to be?
Andrew (5): I'd like it to be yes because I want us to be friends with the other countries.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: pcolbeck on February 19, 2019, 08:07:04 pm
"Grandad, what happened to your hair?"

A few days back, I was telling Nye that everyone has to brush their hair. "Even Grandad?" He asked in amazement. I confirmed that even Grandads, both of whom have limited amounts of hair, brush the hair they have. Which may not take long. They do have beards to maintain though.

Not true. I get my hair cut in a number 4. No need for brushing or combing and the and the same for anyone else with a the same or shorter.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Butterfly on February 20, 2019, 10:30:33 am
"Grandad, what happened to your hair?"

A few days back, I was telling Nye that everyone has to brush their hair. "Even Grandad?" He asked in amazement. I confirmed that even Grandads, both of whom have limited amounts of hair, brush the hair they have. Which may not take long. They do have beards to maintain though.

Not true. I get my hair cut in a number 4. No need for brushing or combing and the and the same for anyone else with a the same or shorter.

Number 4 or shorter doesn't really count for this purpose though. <4 is opting out of having hair. Much like the top of the Grandads' heads.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Kim on February 20, 2019, 12:26:14 pm
I've wondered... are those numbers some actual unit?  Barleycorns, maybe?  Bound to be something from the firkin-furlong-fortnight-farenheit system...

*googles*

Ah, appears to be standardised on 1/8ths of an inch.  That's practically sensible.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 20, 2019, 01:15:22 pm
I think you need to allow for barber randomisation factor.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 02, 2019, 04:09:40 pm
"There's an old bike, Daddy!"
I'm not sure whether the small had recognized the label left on it by the council warning of imminent (some time in the next year, maybe) removal, or whether it just looked old. Daddy didn't seem to pay much attention, he was busy herding the smaller small.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: TJG on March 21, 2019, 09:42:39 pm
"Daddy. I have put these things on the stairs.  Some are uppers and some are downers."
This is a perfectly sensible sentence, we knew exactly what she meant, at 6 she clearly did not have a varied collection of recreational narcotics.  It only took about 5 minutes before my wife or I could breathe again!
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 21, 2019, 09:46:35 pm
Things to go upstairs and downstairs? Sorted! Literally...
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on April 01, 2019, 08:52:19 am
When kids tell jokes, part 193...

Andrew: What did one maths book say to another maths book?
Mummy: I don't know, Andrew, what did one maths book say to another maths book?
Andrew: "Tell me about your problems!  Haha!"
Mummy: Haha!  Andrew, do you know why that's funny?
Andrew: (sheepishly) Because maths books can't talk!

 ;D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: perpetual dan on April 29, 2019, 06:54:25 pm
Miss Dan the Younger was suggesting bunking off to protest Trump.
Miss Dan the Elder pointed out that getting photographed and recognised would get her into trouble.
“I’ll just wear a mask” says the younger.
So proud :D
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 26, 2019, 04:52:39 pm
"One, two, three, four, six, seven, eight, ten, eleven, twelve, hundred, nineteen, twenty, sixty. Coming, ready or not!"
It was interesting to see the different seeking styles of the two smalls, aged about three. The one whose counting is above made a great show of looking in all sorts of places she could see the other one wasn't and walking past the place she could easily see he was. When it was his turn, he counted quickly and went straight to where she was obviously hiding. They were both of the "crouch under a table and call it hiding" school.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Wowbagger on December 03, 2019, 09:54:57 pm
"I wish people at my school wouldn't call him Santa Claus! That's American. We're British. He's Father Christmas!"

So said my gd, aged 9 years and 5 months.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Johnny Faro on January 17, 2020, 11:46:59 am
Now.......shall we discuss pudding - My 6 year old who would get thrashed for her impertinence if I want laughing so hard at her delivery of the aforementioned
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Ham on January 28, 2020, 09:30:24 pm
Does it matter that they are thirty and send you a meme on WhatsApp? No? good.

"Having a daughter is like having a broke best friend who thinks you're rich"
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: T42 on January 29, 2020, 08:28:55 am
Does it matter that they are thirty and send you a meme on WhatsApp? No? good.

"Having a daughter is like having a broke best friend who thinks you're rich"

You too, huh?  Take courage, it doesn't stop at 30. Or 40.
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: The French Tandem on January 29, 2020, 07:34:00 pm
Does it matter that they are thirty and send you a meme on WhatsApp? No? good.

"Having a daughter is like having a broke best friend who thinks you're rich"

You too, huh?  Take courage, it doesn't stop at 30. Or 40.

That's seriously depressing! Ours is just 18, but I already can't wait for her to earn a living and stop asking for money!

A
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Basil on January 29, 2020, 07:43:53 pm

That's seriously depressing! Ours is just 18, but I already can't wait for her to earn a living and stop asking for money!


*falls on the floor, laughing*
Title: Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
Post by: Legs on March 09, 2020, 10:12:27 am
On telling my 6yo that his 6yo cousin also plays chess:
"Is Toby a Grandmaster too?"