Yet Another Cycling Forum

Off Topic => The Pub => Topic started by: LEE on January 22, 2013, 09:05:22 am

Title: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on January 22, 2013, 09:05:22 am
A place for news that really isn't news, as heard or seen on the media today.

BONG.....It's Snowing.

No shit Sherlock... it's f***ing January.

When it snows in July.....That's NEWS! 

I don't need to see any more BBC, license-fee funded, reporters stood in Doncaster high street to help me visualise what Doncaster high street looks like when it's snowing.

BONG....The snow in Doncaster is 1" deep

Snow so deep that it only results in the pavement being a bit slippy is not news.

If a BBC reporter can get there...it can't be that serious.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Butterfly on January 22, 2013, 09:07:00 am
'Soldiers kill people'  ::-)
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: tiermat on January 22, 2013, 09:20:28 am
I have noticed a disturbing trend for non-news recently.

As above, "It's snowing", "Expect snow".

Also as above "Soldiers kill people"

Add to it "NRA say guns are safe" (REALLY? How so?)

"MigrationWatch say that we are doomed to be invaded by Foreign Hordes" (So how is this different from the rest of our history?)

"Royal Family upset at Harry" (Who gives a fuck?)
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Wowbagger on January 22, 2013, 03:54:43 pm
Yesterday our local rag blared out the total lie "

SOUTH EAST ESSEX HIT BY BLIZZARD

The deepest snow I saw was almost 4" deep and there was virtually no wind. Every definition of a blizzard I have ever seen involves strong winds.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on January 22, 2013, 03:58:57 pm
Quote from: NOAA
Blizzard
    (abbrev. BLZD)- A blizzard means that the following conditions are expected to prevail for a period of 3 hours or longer:

        Sustained wind or frequent gusts to 35 miles an hour or greater; and
        Considerable falling and/or blowing snow (i.e., reducing visibility frequently to less than ¼ mile)

National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration (http://w1.weather.gov/glossary/index.php?letter=b)
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on January 22, 2013, 04:02:08 pm
Then again, there are other sorts of Blizzard (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blizzard_of_Ozz)
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Euan Uzami on January 22, 2013, 04:04:56 pm
So-and-so politician is going to say...

Just wait till he actually says it!

Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Andrij on January 22, 2013, 04:09:44 pm
So-and-so politician is going to say...

Just wait till he actually says it!

Typical 'news' day...
     Morning:  "Today, X will say Y.
     Afternoon:  "At this very moment, X is saying Y.
     Evening:  "Earlier today, X said Y.
 ::-)
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on January 22, 2013, 07:03:26 pm
Fundamentally, we don't need 24h news. And we don't really need morning+afternoon+evening news.

Except for a very few days a year when something momentous and rapidly evolving happens. I suspect 9/11 was a big driver for 24h news channels.

Once media outlets have these slots, they need to fill them with crap. So we get the crap described by previous posters.

(I like Charlie Brooker's rant about the weather 'forecast' - which he rightly observes is so often a description of the day so far, NOT A FORECAST AT ALL!!! )
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Andrij on January 22, 2013, 07:23:41 pm
24hr news would be OK if it wasn't mostly the same half dozen stories repeated.  There's a whole world out there with stuff going on!
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: SteveC on January 22, 2013, 07:33:55 pm
24 hour news started (on the radio at least) with the first Gulf War.  Radio 4 long wave went onto a rolling news service.
The then MrsC loved it.  It was driving me up the wall by about day three.  These days I find the Radio 3 summaries, plus the net, all that I need.  But we do have the Today prog on in the morning as the current MrsC loves that.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on February 06, 2013, 10:07:15 am
BONG!

Dyson has invented a tap that also dries your hands.

BONG!  Not News.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on February 06, 2013, 10:42:40 am
BONG!

World's longest cat dies (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-21346868)
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Toady on February 06, 2013, 10:52:14 am
BONG!

World's longest cat dies (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-21346868)

Yawn.  Not news.

Hang on a minute.  Longest cat, you say?  Dead?   I need to have  alook at this....
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on February 06, 2013, 05:34:19 pm
Non-entity quits Twitter.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-21353178 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-21353178)
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Efrogwr on February 06, 2013, 07:35:07 pm
(I like Charlie Brooker's rant about the weather 'forecast' - which he rightly observes is so often a description of the day so far, NOT A FORECAST AT ALL!!! )

Yes, I've noticed that. Furthermore, if you can summon up the strength to listen to the second half, it still doesn't tell you anything!!!!!!![
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Lightkeeper on February 06, 2013, 08:41:07 pm
These days I find the Radio 3 summaries, plus the net, all that I need. 
Yes, I like the music:news ratio on Radio 3.  It was even better the day Patricia Hughes couldn't find the bulletin at 7 am, so she played some extra music instead.  Then, at 8 am, she announced, as usual, "Here is the news, read by Patricia Hughes", then added, to the bafflement of the newly awoken, "A gremlin had put it in the waste-paper basket."

Tried to find a clip of that, and failed: 'twas long ago.  But I did find another Patricia Hughes story (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio3/classical/thirdprogramme/ram/hughes.ram), told by herself.  If you can take 3 minutes out of the rolling news, it's worth it just to hear that impeccably BBC voice say the words "diaphanous negligee".
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on February 07, 2013, 07:56:15 pm
HMV store in Swindon NOT to close.   Not that anyone ever suggested it might have been earmarked.

http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/10213293.HMV_to_stay_open_in_Swindon/
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on February 07, 2013, 07:57:35 pm
Non-entity quits Twitter.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-21353178 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-suffolk-21353178)
Sometime Tory right-wing pinup quits Internet.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2013/feb/06/menshn-close-louise-mensch-luke-bozier
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Bledlow on February 07, 2013, 08:37:58 pm
Having picked as a business partner someone with an even more tenuous connection to truth than the average politician, claiming that she didn't check his CV, & 'took him on trust'.  :facepalm:
Title: 85 year old German retires
Post by: Bledlow on February 11, 2013, 01:13:09 pm
Really!
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Regulator on February 12, 2013, 07:46:50 am
Quote from: NOAA
Blizzard
    (abbrev. BLZD)- A blizzard means that the following conditions are expected to prevail for a period of 3 hours or longer:

        Sustained wind or frequent gusts to 35 miles an hour or greater; and
        Considerable falling and/or blowing snow (i.e., reducing visibility frequently to less than ¼ mile)

National Oceanic & Atmospheric Administration (http://w1.weather.gov/glossary/index.php?letter=b)

What's wrong with using the Met Office definition?

Quote
The simultaneous occurrence of moderate or heavy snowfall with winds of at least force 7, causing drifting snow and reduction of visibility to 200 m or less.

None of the Yank nonsense, TYVM.



 ;D
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Andrij on February 12, 2013, 09:06:06 am
Especially as the UK couldn't handle a Yank level blizzard. ;)

While yesterday's papers were talking about disruptions due to a few inches of snow, across the pond the weekend's snowfall was being measured in feet.  And life carried on.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Rhys W on February 12, 2013, 09:08:32 am
Old man retires... BONG!
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on February 12, 2013, 09:13:18 am
HMV store in Swindon NOT to close. 

This is perfect Not News, when you get to hear about something that (a) isn't that interesting in the first place and (b) is about something NOT happening.

Surely the Swindon Advertiser must be a huge tome if it prints stories about all the things that potentially could happen...but didn't happen.

"Bong - Swindon was once again not invaded by North Korea.  Local residents say this is becoming a regular occurrence"
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on February 12, 2013, 09:31:14 am
Especially as the UK couldn't handle a Yank level blizzard. ;)

While yesterday's papers were talking about disruptions due to a few inches of snow, across the pond the weekend's snowfall was being measured in feet.  And life carried on.
Really?  They didn't have airports closed and state-wide bans on non-essential journeys?  Power out for 10s of thousands of people?

Oh, wait, they did.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Andrij on February 12, 2013, 09:44:50 am
Especially as the UK couldn't handle a Yank level blizzard. ;)

While yesterday's papers were talking about disruptions due to a few inches of snow, across the pond the weekend's snowfall was being measured in feet.  And life carried on.
Really?  They didn't have airports closed and state-wide bans on non-essential journeys?  Power out for 10s of thousands of people?

Oh, wait, they did.

Yes, they had those things, but they tend not to treat it like the end of the world.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on February 12, 2013, 10:17:19 am
Sorry Andrij if I came across as a bit narky. I'm short of sleep and get a bit fed up of people talking about the UK as if we were all wimps (well, that's partly true) and everyone else just carries on.
 
Friends who are in the US atm are not enjoying the weather and you'd think it was close to the end of the world going by what they say.

The news channels certainly made it sound like the end of the world over there. The US news channels.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on February 12, 2013, 10:36:20 am
Many years ago I was spending Christmas at the in-laws in Germany.  Bad weather was forecast, and much piss was extracted about the BRITISH inability to cope with a few inches of SNO.  Imagine my joy when, on Christmas Eve, I espied on the anbaric television a motorway clogged with SNO-boundtraffic in both directions, as far as the camera could see.

No, not the M11 but rather the A9 between Munich and Nuremberg.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on February 12, 2013, 12:33:45 pm
Old man retires... BONG!

Old man retires and is discussed over 16 pages in POBI. Bong!
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Bledlow on February 12, 2013, 01:26:24 pm
Old man retires... BONG!
Posted 20 hours after this not-news was first mentioned in this thread.  :P

Old man retires... BONG!

Old man retires and is discussed over 16 pages in POBI. Bong!
I'm glad I've not been there for a long time. 85 year old German retires. Committee will appoint a replacement, as usual. Yaawwwnn. 16 pages?  :facepalm:
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: spesh on February 12, 2013, 03:24:05 pm
Old man retires... BONG!
Posted 20 hours after this not-news was first mentioned in this thread.  :P

Old man retires... BONG!

Old man retires and is discussed over 16 pages in POBI. Bong!
I'm glad I've not been there for a long time. 85 year old German retires. Committee will appoint a replacement, as usual. Yaawwwnn. 16 pages?  :facepalm:

Oh come on, anyone who has been in ACF/yACF for long enough should know by now that if there is one thing the P&OBI Orthodox Faith enjoys more than execrating the Tories, it's bashing the bishops*...  :demon: ;) :demon:

*... cardinals, pontiffs, imams, ayatollahs...
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on February 12, 2013, 04:19:57 pm
Old man retires... BONG!
Posted 20 hours after this not-news was first mentioned in this thread.  :P

Old man retires... BONG!

Old man retires and is discussed over 16 pages in POBI. Bong!
I'm glad I've not been there for a long time. 85 year old German retires. Committee will appoint a replacement, as usual. Yaawwwnn. 16 pages?  :facepalm:

18 now...
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kathy on February 12, 2013, 04:52:14 pm
Old man retires... BONG!
Posted 20 hours after this not-news was first mentioned in this thread.  :P

Old man retires... BONG!

Old man retires and is discussed over 16 pages in POBI. Bong!
I'm glad I've not been there for a long time. 85 year old German retires. Committee will appoint a replacement, as usual. Yaawwwnn. 16 pages?  :facepalm:

18 now...

I gave up on page 12. Goodness knows why I stuck it out that long, since all everyone seems to be doing is saying the same thing over and over again.  :facepalm:
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: spesh on February 12, 2013, 05:45:08 pm
Many years ago I was spending Christmas at the in-laws in Germany.  Bad weather was forecast, and much piss was extracted about the BRITISH inability to cope with a few inches of SNO.  Imagine my joy when, on Christmas Eve, I espied on the anbaric television a motorway clogged with SNO-boundtraffic in both directions, as far as the camera could see.

No, not the M11 but rather the A9 between Munich and Nuremberg.

Wie sagt man "Schadenfreude" auf Deutsch? ;D
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jacomus on February 12, 2013, 05:54:28 pm
Many years ago I was spending Christmas at the in-laws in Germany.  Bad weather was forecast, and much piss was extracted about the BRITISH inability to cope with a few inches of SNO.  Imagine my joy when, on Christmas Eve, I espied on the anbaric television a motorway clogged with SNO-boundtraffic in both directions, as far as the camera could see.

No, not the M11 but rather the A9 between Munich and Nuremberg.

Wie sagt man "Schadenfreude" auf Deutsch? ;D

 ;D
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Polar Bear on March 12, 2013, 03:28:57 pm
From passing all the newspapers this morning - politician lies!

The real story should be 'Politicial admits lying'.   Pretty f***ing rare that.

Am I the only one who believes that 8 months is waaaaaaay too lenient.   These are were prominent and 'powerful' people with influence in high places.   The bar should be set extremely high for them IMO to help reinforce the deterrent factor.   
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 12, 2013, 04:30:51 pm
I think it's about correct.

They'll serve only 3-4 months but the prison sentence is the least of their worries I think.

It will however give them 3-4 months to reflect that their wrecked careers and personal lives (including a total family breakdown) was all in exchange for a possible driving ban.

Even worse for her...she wasn't even going to get any points on her license.

Question....will he get a driving ban as well?  The ultimate irony.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Biggsy on March 12, 2013, 04:31:14 pm
They're only likely to serve 2 months in prison, 2 months home curfew, and the rest free.

I'd make them clean public bogs for 8 months.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Basil on March 12, 2013, 07:46:07 pm
I heard an estimate of five weeks on the toady program on R4 this morning.  After that home cerfew with or without tags.
Title: Re: And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Ashaman42 on March 12, 2013, 08:20:48 pm
Sorry Andrij if I came across as a bit narky. I'm short of sleep and get a bit fed up of people talking about the UK as if we were all wimps (well, that's partly true) and everyone else just carries on.
 
Friends who are in the US atm are not enjoying the weather and you'd think it was close to the end of the world going by what they say.

The news channels certainly made it sound like the end of the world over there. The US news channels.

Plus everyone always goes on about Svandinavian countries, for examples, coping much better even though they get way more snow but don't they also spend a lot more money on equipment and facilities to deal with it?

Equipment that would spend most of it's time not being much use and ultimately cost more to buy and run than the 'loss to the economy' of the occasional day or two of people not making it to work.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 14, 2013, 03:40:11 pm
Bong!....The price of tickets for the British F1 Grand Prix are neither the most expensive or cheapest...Bong!

BBC headline story today.......British GP among most expensive

Quote
The British Grand Prix's cheapest race-day ticket is among the most expensive of its type on the Formula 1 calendar.
The 2013 season starts on Sunday in Melbourne, Australia - where the cheapest ticket costs £66, compared to £145 for Silverstone.
Only races in Brazil and Abu Dhabi are more expensive than Britain, while Malaysia is cheapest at £13.

Of course that £13 ticket to the Malaysian Grand Prix starts to look less of a bargain when you add on the £1200 air fare, hotels, meals, car rental and so on.

Probably best to stick to the Silverstone GP then you can be home in time for tea.

What headline next?

"Britain has the 8th biggest pet cats in Europe"?

"Britain's canals are narrower than French ones but wider that Indonesian ones" ?

Sheesh, the excitement of expectation is killing me.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on March 14, 2013, 09:34:31 pm
What headline next?

"Britain has the 8th biggest pet cats in Europe"?

Pets at risk from 'obesity time bomb' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21774713)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: CAMRAMan on March 15, 2013, 07:43:51 am
Cameron sides with the press in Leveson aftermath. Quelle surprise!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 15, 2013, 09:18:50 am
Probably best to stick to the Silverstone GP then you can be home in time for tea.

It may have improved in recent years but the last time I went to the British GP weekend - and that was just for qualifying  - it took three hours just to get out of the car park.  Only Monsters Of Rock has seen bigger queueueueues.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 15, 2013, 09:20:14 am
What headline next?

"Britain has the 8th biggest pet cats in Europe"?

Pets at risk from 'obesity time bomb' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21774713)

 :facepalm:


BBC strike again - "Pet Shop Boys leave Parlophone to sign to new label"

Quote
The veteran chart-toppers, whose hits include West End Girls and It's A Sin, will release a new album through Kobalt Music Services in June.

Dear BBC, "The Pet Shop Boys die in Plane Crash" & "The Pet Shop Boys die in drug-fuelled party" is news.

The Pet Shop Boys signing to a different label is even less newsworthy than a looming crisis for obese pets.

Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on March 15, 2013, 09:21:00 am
Cameron sides with the press in Leveson aftermath. Quelle surprise!

Another Tory caught fibbing.  Again... BONG!!!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 15, 2013, 09:26:22 am
Cameron sides with the press in Leveson aftermath. Quelle surprise!

......BONG!

(try to adhere to protocol)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Regulator on March 15, 2013, 11:22:40 am
P&OBI dragged into the other parts of the forum...


...BONG.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 15, 2013, 11:26:38 am
Five mile queue after M4 death crash....BONG!

Dear BBC.

Please take a long, hard, look at your priorities.

The actual news item here is THE DEATH OF A PERSON and NOT THE QUEUE
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Regulator on March 15, 2013, 11:32:17 am
Five mile queue after M4 death crash....BONG!

Dear BBC.

Please take a long, hard, look at your priorities.

The actual news item here is THE DEATH OF A PERSON and NOT THE QUEUE

Yebbut most drivers don't appear to give a sh*t about the casualty (except to rubberneck as they go past) so it might be suggested that the BBC are just responding to demand.

Personally, I think it should be a flogging offence to mention tailbacks or queues on the news - unless they have been caused by an escaped animal (the more exotic the better) or a funny crash (e.g. the lorry that shed its load of bottled beer on the carriageway) and it is the 'And finally...' item.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on April 01, 2013, 12:08:10 am
BONG!

Board member quits from small company (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21991812)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Littlesox on April 01, 2013, 06:22:41 am
BONG!

Board member quits from small company (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21991812)

Well I never. I used to be a Sunderland fan before I became totally disolusioned with the current state of the game generally (see any Rant re Premiership players) and have nothing to do with it.

People still come up to me and comment on the club - "ooh, see they lost to Chelsea at the week-end" etc, at which I tut loudly and explain that I have washed my hands of this nonsense.

That all said, I am completely out of touch with the Black Cats current escapades, and wasn't aware that either of the 2 eejits mentioned here were anything to do with my ex-beloved club.

I have just checked the Premiership table (first time for over 2 years) and see Sunderland teetering above the relegation zone.

With these 2 involved, I'm not surprised.

Glad I'm out of it.

Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: asterix on April 01, 2013, 07:53:43 am
A place for news that really isn't news, as heard or seen on the media today.

BONG.....It's Snowing.

No shit Sherlock... it's f***ing January.

When it snows in July.....That's NEWS! 

I don't need to see any more BBC, license-fee funded, reporters stood in Doncaster high street to help me visualise what Doncaster high street looks like when it's snowing.

BONG....The snow in Doncaster is 1" deep

Snow so deep that it only results in the pavement being a bit slippy is not news.

If a BBC reporter can get there...it can't be that serious.

Is it still snowing?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: woollypigs on April 01, 2013, 08:18:17 am
24hr news would be OK if it wasn't mostly the same half dozen stories repeated.  There's a whole world out there with stuff going on!
In the last year I have been able to watch 24h news in different corners of the world. Each place has their own top 5 stories that they regurgitate until you can repeat them of fluently even if you don't speak the lingo.

Though that said there is stories out there that would be great to hear on the other side of the world, which even BBC news online don't report on their world news.

The only 24h news station I have come across that have more news than the top 5 and have more news from elsewhere is al jazeera. I'm not saying it is the best or right just that one gets to hear about stuff that is going out there that you never hear on your local and local 24h news.

This is one thing that the internet and rss feeds are brilliant for, but sometimes gets your blood boiling when the five top stories you heard after the BONG ain't any of the ones you have read and think is more important than what Kake was wearing or if her bump can be seen or not.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on May 05, 2013, 07:27:22 pm
BONG ! Aerosmith have cancelled a concert in Jakarta, Indonesia, over safety concerns, a concert promoter has confirmed.

From the BBC.

More Indonesian Health & Safety news items as and when I receive them.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Morrisette on May 09, 2013, 04:21:41 pm
BONG! Old man retires from managing football club. BONG!

This is so BONG!-worthy that C4 news found it necessary to fill THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES of their show wiffling on about it.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Greenbank on May 09, 2013, 05:18:56 pm
BONG! Old man retires from managing football club. BONG!

This is so BONG!-worthy that C4 news found it necessary to fill THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES of their show wiffling on about it.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/angry-scotsman-to-be-released-into-community-2013050867819
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: IanDG on May 09, 2013, 05:30:34 pm
This one cracked me up - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-highlands-islands-22463195 - we'll be having sheep in here next  ;D
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: CAMRAMan on May 09, 2013, 06:00:39 pm
Leamington Spa has job vacancy. (http://www.warwickcourier.co.uk/news/local/job-vacancy-at-the-sydni-centre-1-5071792)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 07, 2013, 05:49:48 pm
On the "front page" of the grauniad website right now - "Britain to get sunny weekend"
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on June 25, 2013, 08:53:37 am
Bong "Long-serving Everton defender Tony Hibbert has spoken of fulfilling his life-long dream to buy his own carp fishery"

Actually not Sports News from the BBC

You're a millionaire..just go and buy a f***ing Carp Fishery you time-wasting, small-time dreamer.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Regulator on June 25, 2013, 09:00:43 am
BBC Get's Its Knicker In a Twist Over American Medical Association Decision (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/23011804)



The BBC has clearly missed  the fact that obesity has been recognised as a disease by WHO for some time. It's in the diagnostic manual (ICD-10) used by the majority of the world, including the UK.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: pcolbeck on July 04, 2013, 01:13:06 pm
BBC breaking news ticker today " Nelson Mandela critical but stable in hospital still".

That's not breaking news or really any kind of news at all, the poor man has been in that condition for two weeks. If his condition changed in any way that would be breaking news.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Regulator on July 04, 2013, 01:29:15 pm
Yebbut at least it's not as bad as them relegating the Egyptian Counter Revolution to second palce behind the tennis...  :facepalm:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on July 05, 2013, 01:02:05 pm
BONG!......Vatican to make John Paul II a saint  (Translation:  Church calls a dead man a name)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on July 05, 2013, 01:14:22 pm
Church calls a dead man a name

Isn't that, when you get down to it, the *whole point* in churches?   :)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Rhys W on July 06, 2013, 08:11:26 am
BONG!......Vatican to make John Paul II a saint.

Didn't he die a few years ago? That's a bit like giving somebody a job promotion after they've retired.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on July 06, 2013, 02:10:16 pm
I think I'm about to win this thread
http://www.scotsman.com/news/scottish-news/top-stories/wax-connery-to-get-a-kilt-1-2991900
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on July 22, 2013, 10:44:37 pm
Bong!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on August 16, 2013, 04:06:37 pm
http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#axzz2c906jkg4 (http://www.thisissurreytoday.co.uk/Unremarkable-men-walk-40-miles-particular-reason/story-19658769-detail/story.html#axzz2c906jkg4)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Vince on August 30, 2013, 08:07:36 am
Bong! Man gets lapsed planning permission renewed without changes (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-23884212)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on August 30, 2013, 10:11:01 pm
Five year old story is one of the most read 'news' stories on the BBC News website. http://www.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7702913.stm (http://www.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7702913.stm)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on September 04, 2013, 01:04:42 pm
Saw a 'news' item on French TV showing Belgian traffic police covering speed cameras with green bin bags.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on September 04, 2013, 01:18:52 pm
Five year old story is one of the most read 'news' stories on the BBC News website. http://www.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7702913.stm (http://www.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7702913.stm)

Not the snake vs alligator one?  How disappointing.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on October 06, 2013, 12:30:03 pm
BONG.....

Sinead O'Connor tells Miley Cyrus to stop acting like a slag

BONG.....

Miley Cyrus tells Sinead O'Connor that she's a nut-job.

That was the not news.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on November 07, 2013, 04:52:09 pm
BONG!

Spies Spy.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on November 07, 2013, 05:15:23 pm
Ah, but within the law!*



* apparently


er, BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on November 28, 2013, 04:51:50 pm
BONG ...   TV celeb curvy cookery 'expert' may have taken drugs ... BONG

(can anyone tell me why the Beeb see this as having Public Interest?)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Bledlow on December 03, 2013, 03:37:41 pm
Diver says he's in a relationship with a man.

American dies in a car crash somewhere in the USA.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on December 04, 2013, 07:21:56 am
Downton vs Eastenders at Christmas  :o
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 04, 2013, 09:14:39 am
Dr Who v Corrie at Christmas.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: madcow on December 04, 2013, 09:43:52 am
On BBC TV this morning-Adidas make a football that is round and bouncy. That's novel.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 04, 2013, 10:27:29 am
I'm surprised that wasn't front page of all the papers.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on December 04, 2013, 12:48:25 pm
BONG ...   TV celeb curvy cookery 'expert' may have taken drugs ... BONG


BONG....TV celeb curvy cookery 'expert' may not have taken drugs ... BONG

Back to you Saatchi.



At a certain point some "News" stories become "Bong Tennis".
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on December 04, 2013, 01:13:49 pm
Dr Who v Corrie at Christmas.
That's easy. Watch Doctor Who, record Corrie, then when you watch the recording you can ffwd through the ads. Besides, anyone who's been watching lately can tell you what'll be happening. It's pretty obvious they're saving up
(click to show/hide)
for the Christmas episodes.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 04, 2013, 01:17:22 pm
I thought it was even easier than that (though I suspect TGL will, for once, be trying to find someone with a TV to visit).
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on December 04, 2013, 01:18:14 pm
Dr Who v Corrie at Christmas.
That's easy. Watch Doctor Who, record Corrie, then when you watch the recording you can ffwd through the ads. Besides, anyone who's been watching lately can tell you what'll be happening. It's pretty obvious they're saving up
(click to show/hide)
for the Christmas episodes.

Agreed.  What is it about Soaps that they save up all their...

(click to show/hide)

...for the Christmas episode?

Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on December 04, 2013, 05:06:19 pm
BONG ...   TV celeb curvy cookery 'expert' may have taken drugs ... BONG


BONG....TV celeb curvy cookery 'expert' may not have taken drugs ... BONG

Back to you Saatchi.



At a certain point some "News" stories become "Bong Tennis".

BONG.....TV celeb curvy cookery 'expert' DID take drugs but only briefly ... BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on December 04, 2013, 10:21:24 pm
I thought it was even easier than that ...

+1, as they say on that interwebs they have these days.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on December 05, 2013, 09:51:31 am
Dogs have puppies

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10854774.Meet_the_unlikely_couple_which_produced_rare_cross_bred_Wotties/ (http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/10854774.Meet_the_unlikely_couple_which_produced_rare_cross_bred_Wotties/)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: contango on December 05, 2013, 10:44:14 am

Celebrity gains pilot license. BONG. Who cares?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 05, 2013, 10:58:26 am
Celebrity hugs boyfriend.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 11, 2013, 08:11:40 am
Bored people take selfie.  BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 12, 2013, 04:45:20 pm
Prominent wazzock flaps his jaw about current court case.  BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on January 01, 2014, 02:33:36 pm
"A giant yellow rubber duck on display in a Taiwanese port has burst in unexplained circumstances."...BONG!


Quote
Last month a similar duck was damaged elsewhere in Taiwan, when an earthquake triggered a power outage that caused it to deflate.

A third Taiwanese duck was brought ashore in September because of an approaching typhoon.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on January 01, 2014, 02:39:37 pm
Fireworks bring in New Year  - BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on January 01, 2014, 02:43:56 pm
"A giant yellow rubber duck on display in a Taiwanese port has burst in unexplained circumstances."...BONG!


Quote
Last month a similar duck was damaged elsewhere in Taiwan, when an earthquake triggered a power outage that caused it to deflate.

A third Taiwanese duck was brought ashore in September because of an approaching typhoon.

Bzzt! https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=31801.msg1618583#msg1618583 (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=31801.msg1618583#msg1618583)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on January 01, 2014, 03:41:46 pm
These ducks certainly aren't "proper" news, but I'd like to think they deserve an "and finally ..." mention within proper news programmes.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on January 01, 2014, 09:29:03 pm
Babies born on New Year's Day. BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on January 02, 2014, 09:41:32 am
Babies born on New Year's Day. BONG!

All is quiet on New Year's Day. BONO!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on January 07, 2014, 09:51:13 pm
BONG! Man has a shave (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-25635272)  :facepalm:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Dibdib on January 07, 2014, 09:53:44 pm
Quote
Today's top read story at http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk  - COMMUTERS HIT BY HEAVY DOWNPOURS

No kidding... I hadn't noticed.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on January 07, 2014, 11:01:06 pm
O-DEON!

Cinema sign suffers wind damage.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25642638 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25642638)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Ruth on January 07, 2014, 11:03:22 pm
O-DEON!

Cinema sign suffers wind damage.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25642638 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25642638)

Did you know that Oliver Deon was the first boss of this cinema chain?

My Nana was in service to his deputy.

[/pubquiz]
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: tiermat on January 08, 2014, 07:28:57 am
O-DEON!

Cinema sign suffers wind damage.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25642638 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25642638)

Did you know that Oliver Deon was the first boss of this cinema chain?

My Nana was in service to his deputy.

[/pubquiz]

No I didn't but I do know what ODEON stands for :P
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Ruth on January 08, 2014, 07:38:27 pm
O-DEON!

Cinema sign suffers wind damage.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25642638 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25642638)

Did you know that Oliver Deon was the first boss of this cinema chain?

My Nana was in service to his deputy.

[/pubquiz]

No I didn't but I do know what ODEON stands for :P

Ah, perhaps her dementia made her get names confused eh?  ::-)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 08, 2014, 09:11:33 pm
Coincidence, surely? Odeon as a name for cinemas predates the Odeon chain, being Greek for a theatre.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on January 08, 2014, 11:51:02 pm
Some people watch monochrome TV!
http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/10923088.TV_Licensing_reveals_number_of_homes_still_watching_black_and_white_sets/?ref=rss (http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/10923088.TV_Licensing_reveals_number_of_homes_still_watching_black_and_white_sets/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on January 08, 2014, 11:56:27 pm
Some people watch monochrome TV!
http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/10923088.TV_Licensing_reveals_number_of_homes_still_watching_black_and_white_sets/?ref=rss (http://www.thisislocallondon.co.uk/news/10923088.TV_Licensing_reveals_number_of_homes_still_watching_black_and_white_sets/?ref=rss)

This was going round in Birmingham too.  I assume the TV Licensing people are having a press release campaign.

I'm impressed; I thought the B&W licence died with analogue (I was wrong - you need a colour licence for a recording device, not a digital tuner).  Freeview tuner on a B&W telly, though.  That's a bit steampunk.

(MythTV driving a 405 line TV is even more steampunk, but would require a colour licence, as it's a recorder.)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on January 09, 2014, 02:57:24 pm

No I didn't but I do know what ODEON stands for :P

The very latest films at competitive prices?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Bledlow on January 10, 2014, 07:23:56 pm
O-DEON!

Cinema sign suffers wind damage.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25642638 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-25642638)

Did you know that Oliver Deon was the first boss of this cinema chain?

My Nana was in service to his deputy.

[/pubquiz]
I thought Odeon cinemas were founded by Oscar Deutsch (Birmingham, 1893-1941) in 1928, the first one under that name opening in Perry Barr in 1930, & the firm used the slogan "Oscar Deutsch Entertains Our Nation".
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Ruth on January 10, 2014, 08:10:03 pm
The first house my Nana worked in was in Birmingham.  She was originally from Birmingham.  She might have mis-remembered Oscar Deutsch as Oliver Deon.  It was before the second world war!  I can't remember who my boss was in 1986!  ::-)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on January 13, 2014, 03:36:50 pm
Man eats pizza using knife and fork. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-25713083 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-25713083)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on January 13, 2014, 05:25:26 pm
Man eats pizza using knife and fork. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-25713083 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-25713083)

He's got the fork the sensible way up, too.  Appalling.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 13, 2014, 05:30:39 pm
Time to watch The Bicycle Thieves again - IIRC they pick up a knife and fork but never do actually get their pizza.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on January 27, 2014, 12:08:09 am
Mordor Central is horrible.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-25906120 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-25906120)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: anotherdeadhero on January 27, 2014, 08:01:32 am
BONG! Water continues to fall from sky. BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Euan Uzami on January 27, 2014, 11:21:34 am
BONG! someone gets promoted at work (http://thelincolnite.co.uk/2014/01/double-promotion-at-lincoln-accountancy-firm/)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: madcow on January 28, 2014, 08:39:28 am
Our local paper is full of this kind of rubbish. You would think that the local economy revolved around accountants, estate agents ,solicitors and designing exhibitions or interiors. These are the type of businesses that send out endless PR guff and papers, being short of content use it ad infinitum.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Basil on January 28, 2014, 01:43:20 pm
Mordor Central is horrible.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-25906120 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-25906120)

Quote
Birmingham New Street has been named as the worst railway station for "overall satisfaction" in a rail watchdog study.

.......
Nottingham was named the dirtiest train station and the worst for choice of shops.

Deep joy.   :facepalm:  Guess what rail journey I will be making tomorrow?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on January 28, 2014, 01:44:33 pm
Nottingham station is currently rocking the New Street "plywood hoardings and lack of signage" look.  You'll be right at home.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on February 13, 2014, 10:29:06 am
BONG

Breaking News on News 24

Heavy rain causes rivers to rise. Rising rivers causes flooding.

BONG

I'm glad the brainiacs at the BBC have explained that - I'd never have worked it out by myself ::-)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on February 13, 2014, 10:32:43 am
Be fair - even those with an Eton & Oxford (or Radley College & Cambridge) education couldn't work it out!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on February 20, 2014, 03:51:20 pm
Pope's skullcap blows off in wind.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-26269227 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-26269227)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ferret on February 20, 2014, 08:32:49 pm
Winter wettest on Record says MET Office, glad they've told us that.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on March 03, 2014, 11:57:10 pm
Mother gives children ice creams on trip to shopping mall.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2572456/Victoria-Beckham-treats-Harper-Cruz-ice-cream-Westfield-shopping-spree.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2572456/Victoria-Beckham-treats-Harper-Cruz-ice-cream-Westfield-shopping-spree.html)
Apologies for Daily Wail linky...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on May 01, 2014, 05:03:42 pm
BONG!....

Quote
Eurovision Song Contest organisers have named all the national jury members for this year's competition.

BONG!

Quote
The UK's five-strong panel will be headed up by TV vocal coach and former Fame Academy judge Carrie Grant.

BONG!

Quote
It also features soprano Laura Wright, music producer Steve Allen, DJ Candice McKenzie and writer/composer Gus Gowland.

BONG!

Quote
It is the first time jury members have been revealed ahead of the contest in a bid to create more transparency.


This is only news if Cary Grant is going to be a judge.

A bid to create more transparency in a competition that is famously (and rather refreshingly) biased.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 01, 2014, 05:08:36 pm
Cary Grant would merely require some voodoo to be a judge. Barry Grant on the other hand...  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_Grant)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Regulator on May 01, 2014, 05:41:49 pm
Quote
The UK's five-strong panel will be headed up by TV vocal coach and former Fame Academy judge Carrie Grant.

Quote
It also features soprano Laura Wright, music producer Steve Allen, DJ Candice McKenzie and writer/composer Gus Gowland.


Can I do a Wowbagger and say 'Who?'

I don't think I recognise one of those names.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Basil on May 01, 2014, 05:52:46 pm

Can I do a Wowbagger and say 'Who?'

I don't think I recognise one of those names.

Oh good.  I don't need to Google then, in a pathetic attempt to stay current?

Lee.  You read an awful lot of that article!   ;)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on May 02, 2014, 12:06:39 am
Quote
The UK's five-strong panel will be headed up by TV vocal coach and former Fame Academy judge Carrie Grant.

Quote
It also features soprano Laura Wright, music producer Steve Allen, DJ Candice McKenzie and writer/composer Gus Gowland.


Can I do a Wowbagger and say 'Who?'


No, because it's the BONG (Not News) thread, ergo almost nobody has heard of them apart from their friends and relatives (That's sort of the point).

There's actually a chance that Wow is more likely to have heard of the soprano and composer than many of us (I'm basing this entirely on the fact that he has a long beard and wears a Tilley Hat).

Quote
Lee.  You read an awful lot of that article!
 
Only in my role as BONG (not news) reporter.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: HTFB on May 07, 2014, 01:05:15 pm
I'm pleased to see* that the Sun's exposé of Pizza Express contains the telling point HALAL CHICKENS MUST BE ALIVE WHEN SLAUGHTERED.


*at the barber's
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on May 07, 2014, 03:07:10 pm
I'm pleased to see* that the Sun's exposé of Pizza Express contains the telling point HALAL CHICKENS MUST BE ALIVE WHEN SLAUGHTERED.


*at the barber's
Surely it would be kinder to kill them first? ???



 :D :D
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on May 07, 2014, 03:36:28 pm
...
Quote
Lee.  You read an awful lot of that article!
 
Only in my role as BONG (not news) reporter.
This is EXACTLY how reams and gigabytes of inane 2nd-hand news media get filled!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on May 08, 2014, 11:21:07 am
BONG !..........

Quote
Katie Price has announced she is splitting up with her third husband Kieran Hayler after accusing him of having an affair.

The reality TV personality and model posted the news on her Twitter account.

"Sorry to say me and kieran are divorcing him and my best friend jane pountney bee having a full blown sexual affair for 7 months," she wrote.

A spokesperson for the star refused to comment on the story.

Refused to comment?  Katie Price?  That will be the fucking day.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on May 08, 2014, 12:52:49 pm
I do feel quite sorry for her. She's six months pregnant and he's been shagging her oldest friend.

I don't like her, but I do feel quite sorry for her.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: tiermat on May 19, 2014, 03:54:48 pm
Cyclist rides on road<BONG>

Cars delayed<BONG>

Councillor who, earlier this year, complained about cyclists on the path, suggests that this cyclist should have used the footpath! <BONG>

http://road.cc/content/news/119338-cyclist-doing-something-legal-scunthorpe-makes-local-paper
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Basil on May 29, 2014, 09:34:29 am
Pop stars may have taken drugs.  <bong>

Not news  ::-)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on June 16, 2014, 10:55:54 am
Toddler toddles. BONG!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27862312 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-27862312)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on June 18, 2014, 10:36:57 pm
Hospital wards are too noisy at night.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-27874905 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-27874905)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Rhys W on July 13, 2014, 11:11:47 pm
Bong! Stylishly-dressed, well-groomed and slightly camp man turns out to be gay (http://www.theguardian.com/sport/2014/jul/12/ian-thorpe-gay-parkinson-interview).

Just a shame he felt he had to deny it for so long after being hounded by the press about it.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on July 15, 2014, 02:42:47 pm
I assumed he'd been out for years.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 16, 2014, 09:51:26 am
BONG! s can make you paranoid.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 16, 2014, 09:51:59 am
BONG! Elite school selects elite pupils!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Biff on July 16, 2014, 10:12:47 am
In other 'news', the cartoon Thor is to undergo gender reassignment. She will still be called Thor though, not 'Thoress' or 'Thorita'. Why do I have visions of Thora Hird soaring upwards on a Stannah stairlift in a horned helmet?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on July 17, 2014, 12:13:22 pm
BONG!

BBC news item "What is causing this heatwave?"


OK, I'm not a trained meteorologist, never have been, never likely to be, but my guess as to the cause is "July".
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on July 17, 2014, 12:14:41 pm
Why do I have visions of Thora Hird soaring upwards on a Stannah stairlift in a horned helmet?

I don't know, but now I have the same visions.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on July 18, 2014, 01:55:56 pm
BONG...

Camp, well-groomed man in showbiz may (or may not) be gay

http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/simon-cowell-gay-tulisa-drugs-3875511

...BONG

Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on July 18, 2014, 07:02:19 pm
BONG!

Woman gives birth http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-28361801
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on August 02, 2014, 06:39:04 pm
BONG!
Didcot A demolition detectable on seismograph 5 miles away but not felt on the ground.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-28620006 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-28620006)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Regulator on August 04, 2014, 12:10:01 pm
BONG!

Woman gives birth http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-28361801

At least she named it after me....  ;D
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on August 13, 2014, 07:41:30 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-28762878

Hair Museum piece
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: tiermat on August 13, 2014, 10:38:38 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-28762878

Hair Museum piece

Does his wife have the beard, too?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Peter on August 13, 2014, 10:46:24 am
Take about self-aggrandisement:  Robbie Savage doesn't have trade-mark anythings, except possibly late tackles - and who wants them for posterity?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on August 15, 2014, 02:36:29 pm
Exchange of fishy puns on Twitter makes national news.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/sainsburys-twitter-fish-puns-hilarious-3010949 (http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/sainsburys-twitter-fish-puns-hilarious-3010949)
In our day we kept such wit to uk.rec.sheds...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on August 23, 2014, 05:59:48 pm
Not news for the not news season
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28910242 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-28910242)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on August 29, 2014, 10:41:02 am
BONG!  Nothing remotely interesting happened on The Great British Bake Off involving a baked Alaska. ...BONG!

....I honestly can't raise the enthusiasm to find out the details.  It's a f***ing show about baking after all.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on August 29, 2014, 10:48:54 am
It was a melted Alaska. They've heard of global worming.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on September 19, 2014, 06:41:31 am
BONG!  Floppy-haired X Factor alumnus uses the toilet (or doesn't, in this case)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/29263113
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on September 19, 2014, 07:08:12 am
BONG!  Two pissed blokes flee scene of car accident before falling asleep in field.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2759897/Mystery-two-men-missing-seven-hours-car-accident-outside-UFO-capital-Roswell-wake-seven-hours-later-field-donkeys-no-memory-surprise-night-before.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2759897/Mystery-two-men-missing-seven-hours-car-accident-outside-UFO-capital-Roswell-wake-seven-hours-later-field-donkeys-no-memory-surprise-night-before.html)

If this had happened anywhere else it would have ranked somewhere below the Scottish fitba results in importance.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on September 19, 2014, 08:38:52 pm
Person drops phone; it doesn't break.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-29275039
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on September 19, 2014, 11:46:32 pm
Person drops phone; it doesn't break.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-29275039

Phone jumps out of unsupported box after struggle with packaging.
Quelle surprise!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on September 24, 2014, 10:45:32 pm
BONG! Very old woman dies.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on October 20, 2014, 08:38:17 am
BONG

People look like their parents

http://boredbug.com/the-shocking-similarities-between-celebrities-and-their-parents/?utm_source=outbrain&utm_campaign=bb-ob-3cnt-tp7c-oct13newpages (http://boredbug.com/the-shocking-similarities-between-celebrities-and-their-parents/?utm_source=outbrain&utm_campaign=bb-ob-3cnt-tp7c-oct13newpages)

BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: orienteer on October 20, 2014, 10:34:50 am
BING BONG


http://www.croydonguardian.co.uk/news/11545620.Hurricane_Gonzalo_not_expected_to_devastate_south_London_and_Surrey/?ref=rss (http://www.croydonguardian.co.uk/news/11545620.Hurricane_Gonzalo_not_expected_to_devastate_south_London_and_Surrey/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on October 21, 2014, 11:43:45 pm
Planes wobble as they land at Manchester Airport

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-29716161
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on October 28, 2014, 08:37:56 am
Woman has baby.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on October 28, 2014, 12:30:12 pm
Oh, and BONG

Chocolate manufacturer decides to stop production of an unprofitable type of chocolate; keeps all other brands going. (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/cadbury-discontinues-chocolate-coins-ahead-of-christmas-9822415.html)

BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: tiermat on October 28, 2014, 12:40:07 pm
Oh, and BONG

Chocolate manufacturer decides to stop production of an unprofitable type of chocolate; keeps all other brands going. (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/cadbury-discontinues-chocolate-coins-ahead-of-christmas-9822415.html)

BONG

Really? You'd have thought it was a license to make money! ;D
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Vince on October 28, 2014, 01:22:53 pm
Oh, and BONG

Chocolate manufacturer decides to stop production of an unprofitable type of chocolate; keeps all other brands going. (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/news/cadbury-discontinues-chocolate-coins-ahead-of-christmas-9822415.html)

BONG

Quote from: independent
An e-petition has been launched in a hope to reverse the decision and one person has signed it so far.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on October 28, 2014, 01:25:37 pm
That's because it is an ineligible petition.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pedaldog on October 28, 2014, 11:23:38 pm
Quote from Soupy..
"I do not buy Cadbury. It is no longer the iconic British firm. It is an american firm making chocolate in Poland and making British workers redundant"

He forgot to say that "it's also Shitty Chocolate shaped objects".
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: davelodwig on October 29, 2014, 12:17:25 pm
Of course, he's got that a bit wrong.

Terrys make chocolate in Poland.

Cadbury's is american but still making chocolate in Brum as far as I can tell from the nommy smells (They also make it in a lot of other places too).
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Vince on October 29, 2014, 01:20:44 pm
But Cadbury's aren't making chocolate in Keynsham any more. Production was moved to Warsaw, Poland.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Basil on October 29, 2014, 02:48:35 pm
Where do you think the dark chocolate "Bournville" bar is made?
(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on October 29, 2014, 03:07:00 pm
Just the willies made in Bournville then?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Basil on October 29, 2014, 04:19:40 pm
Just the willies made in Bournville then?

 ;D
It would seem so.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on October 29, 2014, 09:33:21 pm
There's a Cadbury factory in Dunedin which smelt boggin' when we went past it  :sick:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on November 03, 2014, 04:43:19 pm
BONG!  Getting passengers into space is NOT risk-free.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: De Sisti on November 03, 2014, 05:01:42 pm
BONG! Cycle helmet debate in the media again. ::-)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on November 04, 2014, 08:59:32 am
BONG! 

Katie Melua has spider removed from ear


(That is a copy/paste of the actual BBC headline.  Just to reiterate, this is not a spoof headline from Private Eye or The Poke)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on November 07, 2014, 05:43:17 pm
BONG!

Department store chain advertises christmas stuff on telly.

(Seriously, please BBC, stop giving them free publicity. At least they PAID the commercial channels.There must be better tihnigs to spend my licence fee on ... )
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on November 07, 2014, 09:32:32 pm
Yes.  I feel the same.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on November 08, 2014, 06:56:49 pm
People who read tabloids have a poorer vocabulary than those who read 'better' papers.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-29885222 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-29885222)

But does this research put the cart before the horse? Maybe those who have difficulty reading choose 'easier' papers and the poorer vocabulary is the effect of the dyslexia, not the tabloid...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on November 08, 2014, 07:21:56 pm
People who read tabloids have a poorer vocabulary than those who read 'better' papers.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-29885222 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-29885222)

But does this research put the cart before the horse? Maybe those who have difficulty reading choose 'easier' papers and the poorer vocabulary is the effect of the dyslexia, not the tabloid...

write 100 times:
"Correlation does not imply causation!"
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on November 09, 2014, 05:11:12 pm
BONG!

I don't know how to break this to all you over 40s....but...

Rapper Big Paybacc has been shot dead north of Los Angeles.

Now the fuddy-duddies may be asking, "Who the f***?"

So the BBC have kindly explained who the f***.

The 38-year-old rapper was affiliated with former G-Unit artist Spider Loc, who was discovered by Suge Knight.

So that's cleared that up.

So, in the space of just one BBC news article I learned 2 things:

1) There is a Rappeer, Big Paybacc.

2) There isn't a Rapper, Big Paybacc.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on November 09, 2014, 06:15:51 pm
Man's hand uninjured after being cut free from metal teapot.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-29976753 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-29976753)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on November 10, 2014, 01:33:54 am
Romeo Beckham has his parents' genes
http://www.buzzfeed.com/newsinc/romeo-beckham-has-his-parents-genes (http://www.buzzfeed.com/newsinc/romeo-beckham-has-his-parents-genes)
Who would have thunk it?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on November 10, 2014, 01:09:32 pm

The 38-year-old rapper was affiliated with former G-Unit artist Spider Loc, who was discovered by Suge Knight.

Is Spider Loc any relation to Tone Loc?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on November 10, 2014, 01:16:57 pm

The 38-year-old rapper was affiliated with former G-Unit artist Spider Loc, who was discovered by Suge Knight.

Is Spider Loc any relation to Tone Loc?

The latter is the half-brother of Toc H.

Possibly.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on November 12, 2014, 05:36:17 pm
BONG!

From the BBC News, my current favourite source of Not News.

The FA Cup second-round tie between Hartlepool and Blyth Spartans is to be televised live on BBC Two on 5 December.

This is not so much a sporting headline, more of an admission that the BBC lost any ability to compete with SKY when it comes to sport.

They really should have kept this quiet rather than boast about it.

Wow!, I was going to my daughter's wedding and then on the the Oasis reunion gig at the O2 on December 5th but hold your horses! 
Hartlepool (I know roughly where that is) vs Blythe (Not a clue) Spartans...LIVE!  That's what the term "stay at home telly" was coined for.
I'm thinking that December 5th will be declared "National Hartlepool versus Blythe Spartans Holiday day" after this.

I'm guessing 5 people will watch this.  Probably cheaper for the BBC to pay for the tickets and travel costs to the actual game, for those who want to watch it, than to screen it.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on November 12, 2014, 09:07:46 pm
Hartlepool United FC used to be called (for some reason) Hartlepools United.


Monkey hangers.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on November 12, 2014, 09:12:21 pm
That's because there are two Hartlepools: Old Hartlepool and West Hartlepool.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on November 12, 2014, 09:13:11 pm
I did not know that.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: madcow on November 12, 2014, 10:05:27 pm
It's almost a local derby as Hartlepool is on the northern edge of Teeside and Blyth is about 20 miles north of Newcastle upon Tyne.
Blyth Spartans have a long history of causing FA cup upsets, reaching the 5th round in 1977-78 season.
 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blyth_Spartans_A.F.C.#FA_Cup_exploits  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blyth_Spartans_A.F.C.#FA_Cup_exploits)

It is unlikely to  be pretty football, but I would rather see 2 G.B teams kicking lumps out of each other than watch Italian, Spanish ,German or USAnian teams doing the same, which is pretty much all that BT Sport is showing at the moment.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Deano on November 12, 2014, 10:43:43 pm
Hell, yes.

A day at Victoria Park with the wind biting in off the North Sea? That's a proper football match, which I'd much rather see than any Premiership/Champions League encounter you could name.

The pies are shit, though.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: nicknack on November 13, 2014, 09:48:09 am
BONG!

FIFA investigates itself and finds itself not guilty.

BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on November 13, 2014, 09:54:48 am
...but finds England guilty!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: nicknack on November 13, 2014, 10:02:37 am
Presumably England didn't pay enough.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on November 13, 2014, 10:04:31 am
Hell, yes.

A day at Victoria Park with the wind biting in off the North Sea? That's a proper football match, which I'd much rather see than any Premiership/Champions League encounter you could name.

The pies are shit, though.

Sounds like Pitoddrie.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Deano on November 13, 2014, 12:12:03 pm
I'm sure even the East Fife players used to complain about how cold Hartlepool was when they came down for friendlies. In August.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on November 13, 2014, 12:47:33 pm
BONG!

FIFA investigates itself and finds itself not guilty.

BONG!
Investigator who wrote the report says "Hang on, I didn't write that."
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on November 14, 2014, 08:47:23 am
BONG.. Wind blows woman's hat off; man picks it up and gives it back to her (http://www.hellomagazine.com/royalty/2014111321892/prince-harry-rescues-woman-raf-base/)...BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on November 14, 2014, 03:41:00 pm
BONG...No tigers on the loose in France (http://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/faux-paw-big-cat-loose-near-disneyland-paris-not-tiger-n248411)...BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on November 19, 2014, 02:29:24 pm
BONG... Football.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on November 21, 2014, 02:26:08 pm
BONG

Quote from: BBC
Rochester: Farage looks to more UKIP gains after success

BONG


Well, the leader of a party which has just won two by-elections is hardly going to say "That's it. I think we've got as far as we're going to", is he?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on November 23, 2014, 02:17:27 pm
BONG...Man talks to woman; content of conversation unknown...BONG

Beware!  Daily Mail link!

Not News (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2845337/No-M-Ginger-spice-Prince-Harry-jokes-Geri-Halliwell-Abu-Dhabi-Grand-Prix-watch-Lewis-Hamilton-qualifying-ahead-world-championship-decider.html)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on November 23, 2014, 03:06:52 pm
Trufax: she's going to be Daniil Kvyat's race engineer next season.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on November 23, 2014, 07:08:51 pm
Trufax: she's going to be Daniil Kvyat's race engineer next season.
Who is : Geri Halliwell?????

WTF???

Or is the Mail correct: she's marrying Christian Horner. Which is nearly as unolikey as your version of events.

Just when I thought  F1 couldn't get any more bonkers...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 23, 2014, 10:24:01 pm
BONG

Celebrity pop stars singing old songs to raise money for charity on TV are 'smug'.

BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on November 24, 2014, 12:42:46 am
Trufax: she's going to be Daniil Kvyat's race engineer next season.
Who is : Geri Halliwell?????

WTF???

Or is the Mail correct: she's marrying Christian Horner. Which is nearly as unolikey as your version of events.

Just when I thought  F1 couldn't get any more bonkers...

My previous post in this thread may have contained traces of Lie.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on December 01, 2014, 01:26:32 pm
BONG!

Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown will announce later that he will stand down as an MP at the next general election, the BBC understands.

I'm sorry but he won't announce it, you, the BBC, just fckin announced it.

Is anything actually announced any more?  It seems that the media are briefed before any actual announcement from the individual themselves.

Gordon Brown steps up to the microphone and says "I have an announcement to make" to which the assembled media throng reply "yeah, we know, you're going to quit, your office briefed us last week"

True "Not News" in its perfect form.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 01, 2014, 01:38:07 pm
See also USAnian Presidential Elections being "called" by the media.  Yes, the result may not have been in doubt (although it probably was, especially in parts of Florida).  No, the Proper Authorities should not then give up counting the votes and fuck off down the pub.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on December 01, 2014, 01:47:15 pm
BONG!

Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown will announce later that he will stand down as an MP at the next general election, the BBC understands.

I'm sorry but he won't announce it, you, the BBC, just fckin announced it.

Is anything actually announced any more?  It seems that the media are briefed before any actual announcement from the individual themselves.

Gordon Brown steps up to the microphone and says "I have an announcement to make" to which the assembled media throng reply "yeah, we know, you're going to quit, your office briefed us last week"

True "Not News" in its perfect form.

Three hits at the news.

Once when trumpeted like this,
Once when reported live
Once when it is reported after the fact.

Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Euan Uzami on December 04, 2014, 10:42:16 pm
UK rail stations 'getting busier'
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-30333825
Great!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: madcow on December 04, 2014, 11:05:28 pm
Yebbut ,look at the way the report highlights London stations (fair enough they are BUSY) but then jumps to Scottish stations, cleverly avoiding   passenger numbers  at Leeds with 27.3 million passenger movements , putting it on a par with Glasgow Central.
A lot of those passengers are still arriving on Northern Rail's crappy Pacers which will only be replaced by equally crappy used trains from the south, where passengers will ride in new stock  on newly electrified lines  . And that is only scheduled to happen in 2020.

If they ran half decent trains with enough seats between Leeds and Manchester, I  reckon Leeds station would be even busier.

 
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rr on December 04, 2014, 11:06:59 pm
Plebian public sector scum to continue to contribute a disproportionate amount to deficit reduction.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: madcow on December 05, 2014, 09:30:04 am
Disproportionate? Let's  start a thread on POBI to discuss.
From where I am the private sector have taken a few hits along the way as well. Stakeholder stock market based  pensions if you're lucky, zero hours contracts if you're not.
Swings and roundabouts really.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: jsabine on December 05, 2014, 09:58:20 am
That's not really deficit reduction though, more the constant drive to increase profits shareholder value.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on December 05, 2014, 10:00:12 am
Ah, shareholders, the Achiilles Heel of capitalism.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 08, 2014, 10:17:35 pm
BONG...Man Not Eaten By Snake (http://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/man-fails-get-eaten-alive-anaconda-planned)...BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 09, 2014, 04:45:27 am
BONG...Couple go to a basketball game...BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Andrij on December 09, 2014, 03:52:00 pm
BONG...Couple go to a basketball game...BONG

I actually had an interest in that game - one of the teams, not some foreign couple.  At least the presenters didn't mention them during play.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on December 09, 2014, 06:20:49 pm
[BONG]...CIA behaved badly post 9/11 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-30401100)...[BONG]
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 09, 2014, 06:24:49 pm
Don't tell me the result - I'm reading it later!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on December 14, 2014, 12:51:36 pm
BONG! Photograph taken of sprog.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 17, 2014, 12:41:38 pm
This is a few days old, and I have no idea how our ace reporters missed it for so long, but:

BONG!....Woman makes facial expression (http://uk.eonline.com/news/607163/did-kate-middleton-just-bust-out-the-eye-roll-again-take-a-look)...BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 17, 2014, 01:18:28 pm
I'd managed to forget all about E! Now you've forced up those suppressed memories of subtitling the pre-Oscars reception red carpet.  :hand: Almost as bad as Girls Next Door (which was on Fox, I think).
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 17, 2014, 02:57:11 pm
Oh come on!  I spared you the Woman Wears A Dress For A Third Time splash.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 18, 2014, 09:34:21 pm
No, I'd rather have that - even 2nd or 4th time, indeed any nth time - than pretty much anything on E! It by no means had a monopoly on crap, but other channels at least a few things that were not total crap.

Well, I suppose that's not news in itself.

BONG!... A lot of TV is crap... BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on December 26, 2014, 08:01:34 pm
BONG! Snow falls amid weather warnings (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-30602834)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on January 18, 2015, 04:19:11 pm
BONG!

People leaving the Big Brother house is not news.

It's doubly not news for the BBC news site.

Possibly Channel 5 may want to mention it but the BBC?  Really?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Polar Bear on January 18, 2015, 04:39:05 pm
Disproportionate? Let's  start a thread on POBI to discuss.
From where I am the private sector have taken a few hits along the way as well. Stakeholder stock market based  pensions if you're lucky, zero hours contracts if you're not.
Swings and roundabouts really.

Sorry but I fail to see how private sector employers exploiting workers with zero hours contracts and miniscule pensions reduces the deficit.   Such shareholder value is only likely to increase the welfare bill with working tax credits etc and thus increase the deficit.   
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on January 22, 2015, 02:32:57 pm
BONG!...Person travels on London Underground, in common with about 1.265 billion others (http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/amanda-holden-caught-tube-national-5019952)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on February 08, 2015, 09:41:35 am
BONG!...Woman gets her hair cut
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on February 10, 2015, 09:04:50 pm
BONG!...Actor quite good at talking about theatre shock (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/11401811/David-Tennant-makes-most-successful-Just-a-Minute-debut-ever.html)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Deano on February 11, 2015, 12:14:12 am
Gah, last week I happened to be awake on Monday morning between five and six, and I was listening to Radio 5.

The news came on, then the sport, and apparently it was the last day of the transfer window. And not much had happened.

Which they must have mentioned about another five times in that hour - FFS. Even when I cared about football, transfers was the dullest part of the whole thing, and anyone who gave a fuck would already know what had happened, so repeatedly reporting that nothing much of interest has happened is just taking the piss, especially when the subject is of no interest anyway.

I should have turned over to Farming Today.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on February 18, 2015, 05:59:30 pm
BONG !

BBC News Website-

Name-row horse Brian fails police trial

OK, so take a while to digest that headline.  Try to imagine what the BBC's top investigative journalists were trying to convey in that message.

Give up?

(click to show/hide)

Some of my TV license money went towards that.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: contango on February 20, 2015, 10:26:21 pm
Mordor Central is horrible.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-25906120 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-25906120)

For many years I voted Basingstoke station as the most soul destroying place on the planet. It lost its crown after an 8 hour layover at Washington Dulles International Airport. The worst part was that the 8 hour wait was for a flight that only took an hour.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on February 21, 2015, 12:42:16 pm
At least Dulles has a tolerably comfy smoking area right next to a bar.  Hartfield-Jackson in Atlanta has an area for airside snoutcasts, but it resembles a meat freezer in temperature and the visiting area of a maximum-security prison in ambience.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Nuncio on February 26, 2015, 01:08:16 pm
Does this  (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/11817451.Nailsworth_man_decides_not_to_go_to_Iraq_to_fight_ISIS_after_all/) count?

Quote
A NAILSWORTH man who threatened to give up his job to go to Iraq to fight against the Islamic State (ISIS) has now decided against it.

Kyle Sessions, 22, told the SNJ that he had spoken to his father and other family members, who felt the trip would be dangerous.

He said he “agreed with them” and had now decided to “cease all my efforts”.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: davelodwig on February 26, 2015, 01:18:14 pm
Does this  (http://www.stroudnewsandjournal.co.uk/news/11817451.Nailsworth_man_decides_not_to_go_to_Iraq_to_fight_ISIS_after_all/) count?

Quote
A NAILSWORTH man who threatened to give up his job to go to Iraq to fight against the Islamic State (ISIS) has now decided against it.

Kyle Sessions, 22, told the SNJ that he had spoken to his father and other family members, who felt the trip would be dangerous.

He said he “agreed with them” and had now decided to “cease all my efforts”.

So the pub bullshit champion has been called out by his own dad.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on February 26, 2015, 01:28:32 pm
Crikey, I missed that one.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on February 26, 2015, 02:52:04 pm
I thought Jaded was older than that ;D
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Nuncio on February 26, 2015, 03:14:59 pm
Crikey, I missed that one.

Don't beat yourself up about it.  I'm a renowned, nay noted, not Nailsworth news know-all.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: tiermat on February 27, 2015, 10:29:39 am
Bong...The dress is actually Blue and Black*, NOT white and gold, though the manufacturer has said it is going to do a white and gold one...Bong

As you were.

*http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/white-and-gold-or-blue-and-black-the-dress-has-confused-the-internet-but-science-has-the-answer-10074228.html
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on February 27, 2015, 10:36:52 am
Bong...The dress is actually Blue and Black*, NOT white and gold, though the manufacturer has said it is going to do a white and gold one...Bong

As you were.

*http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/white-and-gold-or-blue-and-black-the-dress-has-confused-the-internet-but-science-has-the-answer-10074228.html

I rather liked David Duchovny's comment:

Quote from: Special Agent Fox Mulder
The dress is Teal.

Also, any fule can see that it's white and gold.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on February 27, 2015, 01:13:32 pm
I'm late to the party on that one.  Got distracted by llamas.  But I've seen various pictures all over the interweb with various white balance tweaks, and can only conclude that the dress is fugly.

While we're at it, who can't see these?  http://www.cs.unm.edu/~aaron/creative/colorTest.htm
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: spesh on February 27, 2015, 01:42:41 pm
Bong...The dress is actually Blue and Black*, NOT white and gold, though the manufacturer has said it is going to do a white and gold one...Bong

As you were.

*http://www.independent.co.uk/news/weird-news/white-and-gold-or-blue-and-black-the-dress-has-confused-the-internet-but-science-has-the-answer-10074228.html

<The Matrix>

There is no spoon dress.

</The Matrix>
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: PeteB99 on February 27, 2015, 02:09:44 pm
The dress looks blue and gold to me. As for Kims link the first pattern is reasonably clear, the second very indistinct.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on February 27, 2015, 02:24:37 pm
xkcd nails it:

(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/dress_color.png) (http://xkcd.com/1492/)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 27, 2015, 02:38:33 pm
To me, the dress looks a dullish gold and a bluey white. No black.

The patterns, I can see them but they are indistinct.

The Independent would like to thank whichever forumite is responsible for boosting their clickeyness today.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on February 27, 2015, 02:47:08 pm
I see it as washed-out blue and $generic_poo_colour, but it's clear from context that it's horrendously overexposed, and most real-world blacks turn into something random if you cook the signal enough.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: nicknack on February 27, 2015, 03:23:48 pm
While we're at it, who can't see these?  http://www.cs.unm.edu/~aaron/creative/colorTest.htm
I can't, apart from the bottom edge of the first one.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rafletcher on February 27, 2015, 03:28:18 pm
The first is I think a 6 - it's very faint (ah yes, it is) The second, not a sign of it for me.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on February 27, 2015, 03:40:10 pm
BONG! Person falls over.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Dibdib on February 27, 2015, 07:02:59 pm
While we're at it, who can't see these?  http://www.cs.unm.edu/~aaron/creative/colorTest.htm
I can't, apart from the bottom edge of the first one.

I can clearly some of the first one, and could tell it was a
(click to show/hide)
, and could just about make out the
(click to show/hide)
in the second.

According to that, I have some red-green colourblindness. Strange, as I've never encountered it in the typical spotty tests.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on February 27, 2015, 07:09:15 pm
Anecdatally, the second one seems to be more visible to people with normal colour perception on the right (?wrong) monitors.  But it really sticks out to me.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: jsabine on February 27, 2015, 11:25:49 pm
I found the first of those easier to distinguish, though on looking at the second I first thought it might be a stylised
(click to show/hide)
then that I could pick out the lower part of a
(click to show/hide)

Neither of them stood out: FWIW the only time I've had my colour vision tested as an adult I showed very slight signs of red/green colour blindness.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on February 28, 2015, 09:00:26 am
I could see neither, with either eye.
My father is red/green colour-blind and the colour vision in my left eye is shot from optic neuritis.

I thought the colour perception in my right eye was normal thobut.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Rhys W on March 06, 2015, 07:53:48 pm
BONG! Dog shits (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle/pets/9137764/Canine-competitor-caught-short-at-Crufts-2012.html).
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 06, 2015, 09:07:28 pm
Ah yes, Crufts.  Unusual numbers of dogs being driven around in Birmingham at the moment.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on March 06, 2015, 11:01:24 pm
It's taken three years to make the news!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on March 17, 2015, 11:46:26 am
BONG...Woman gets a haircut (http://www.hellomagazine.com/healthandbeauty/hair/2015031524003/jessica-alba-short-hair-instagram/)...BONG

(I couldn't bear to click on the Daily Heil link)

And here are 74 more photos on a similar theme (apparently - ICBA to look through): http://www.marieclaire.com/beauty/hair/g2383/celebrity-hair-transformations/?slide=1&src=spr_FBPAGE&spr_id=1449_156751275
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: HTFB on March 17, 2015, 11:56:13 am
I don't want to contaminate the world out here with Politics And Other Big Issues, but Grant Shapps.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 17, 2015, 02:25:30 pm
I don't want to contaminate the world out here with Politics And Other Big Issues, but Grant Shapps.

The Super-Twat thread is over there ---> O:-)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on March 17, 2015, 04:25:09 pm
BONG...High street fast-food chicken shop sells chicken product (http://metro.co.uk/2015/03/17/kfc-are-now-doing-original-recipe-zinger-and-pulled-chicken-burritos-5107405/)...BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 17, 2015, 04:32:06 pm
BONG...High street fast-food chicken shop sells chicken product (http://metro.co.uk/2015/03/17/kfc-are-now-doing-original-recipe-zinger-and-pulled-chicken-burritos-5107405/)...BONG

It seems you can only comment on that ^^^^ if you have a Facething login.  Which is a pity, as I spent, ooooh, seconds assembling the withering combination of contempt and sarcasm for my response :'(
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on March 17, 2015, 04:39:26 pm
Terribly sorry about that.  I'm sure the underpaid intern who cut&pasted the press release, as his dreams of becoming a journalist withered, and he died a bit inside, would have valued your critique.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 17, 2015, 06:22:15 pm
Do people still dream of becoming FLJS :o
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 20, 2015, 11:42:08 pm
European power grids keep lights on through solar eclipse (http://www.reuters.com/article/2015/03/20/solar-eclipse-germany-idINL6N0WM1HB20150320)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Auntie Helen on March 21, 2015, 07:39:27 am
There was a lot of discussion on the radio here before the eclipse about the worries about the grid as there is so much solar round here. In the event it was a massively foggy day so I assume that affected it much more than the short eclipse!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: nicknack on March 21, 2015, 10:09:13 am
The output from my roof full of solar panels went down from zero to zero.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 21, 2015, 11:54:16 am
There was a lot of discussion on the radio here before the eclipse about the worries about the grid as there is so much solar round here. In the event it was a massively foggy day so I assume that affected it much more than the short eclipse!

It's the shortness of the eclipse that's the real issue.  It's dead easy to bring other power sources on stream in response to gradual changes in availability caused by weather and day/night, but the eclipse meant *all* the solar dropped out and came back again relatively quickly (compared to the time taken for a coal power station to get going).
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on April 01, 2015, 01:20:55 pm
Skeletons found in graveyard. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-32131379 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-32131379)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on April 01, 2015, 04:12:57 pm
Ryanair cuts corners; whoops!
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-32143691 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-32143691)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on April 11, 2015, 08:46:54 pm
Bong! Couple get married.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on April 14, 2015, 02:33:05 pm
Someone drops out of Twitter.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32302939 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32302939)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on April 14, 2015, 02:42:23 pm
Someone drops out of Twitter.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32302939 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-32302939)

TBH, I think the not-news there is more "Top Gear fans being offensive on the internet".
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on April 23, 2015, 10:15:21 am
BONG...Old dog dies (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/04/21/paris-hilton-tinkerbell-dog-dies_n_7113834.html?1429679727)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on May 02, 2015, 11:58:28 am
Pregnant woman has given birth.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on May 02, 2015, 12:01:51 pm
Baby's weight announced in avoirdupois.

Have we really not gone a bit metric yet?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 02, 2015, 12:07:22 pm
Well, we did, but then we decided to undo it all, because it was European or people with grey hair didn't understand it or something like that. But if we all went metric, would that make audaxers a bit less unusual?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on May 02, 2015, 12:37:43 pm
Baby's weight announced in avoirdupois.

Have we really not gone a bit metric yet?

Not for baby weights (along with all the other things that otherwise sensible metric-using people insist in using old fashioned measures for).  People with babies always talk about them in pounds and ounces.  Which tbh doesn't bother me, as I've no idea what a baby is supposed to weigh anyway, so will be referring to a percentile chart before I can form an opinion, which makes the conversion back to kilograms the easy bit.

Anyway, since the royal family seem to exist primarily for the benefit of the Express and the USAnian tourist industry, it makes sense to use their native units.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on May 02, 2015, 12:42:21 pm
Most people DO know the typical baby weight range in pounds. [I admit that I myself am a lttle hazy!]

I see no purpose in switching to kg. Does anyone need to calculate the baby's acceleration for a force (given in Newtons) ? Or her heat capacity?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on May 02, 2015, 12:44:29 pm
Babies (at least in the NHS) are measured & recorded in metric.  Archaic and arcane systems are probably one of the things we taxpayers are shelling out extra for in this case.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on May 02, 2015, 01:07:37 pm
Archaic weights have a comfortable familiarity. Term newborns are around 7lb and comparisons sound simple so this female is on the big side.
Given she has tall parents, good nutrition, care and had the full nine months' incubation, this is no surprise.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on May 02, 2015, 01:10:07 pm
Archaic weights have a comfortable familiarity.

...is what old people assume.

The way I see it, if you're going to use base 16 units, then they need to be represented by the digits 0-F for comfortable familiarity.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jurek on May 02, 2015, 01:21:42 pm
Babies (at least in the NHS) are measured & recorded in metric.  Archaic and arcane systems are probably one of the things we taxpayers are shelling out extra for in this case.
Steady on, Clarion. That's uncharacteristically modernist of you, to have your youngest calibrated in anything other than traditional units.  :P ;)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on May 02, 2015, 01:36:18 pm
Archaic weights have a comfortable familiarity.

...is what old people assume.

The way I see it, if you're going to use base 16 units, then they need to be represented by the digits 0-F for comfortable familiarity.

But stones and pounds are base 14 to confuzzle the enemy further.

I admit to finding familiarity with old units useful for the semi-innumerate.

Newborn = ½ stone
2 year old = 2 stone
8 year old = 4 stone
Adult = 10 stone

These numbers worked before people got FAT. Weight based dosages could be simple and errors with decimal places spotted rather easily.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Redlight on May 02, 2015, 01:53:59 pm
So how many Olympic size swimming pools is that?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on May 02, 2015, 01:55:59 pm
But stones and pounds are base 14 to confuzzle the enemy further.

This is one of those things where the USAnians have the right idea - at least in the sense of having a slightly less bad implementation of the wrong idea.


(I'm currently reading an alternate history series where an industrialising 17th century Europe seems to be standardising on decimal feet, as a compromise between politics and common sense.)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: bikenrrd on May 02, 2015, 03:33:12 pm
I know that my daughter was 3.76kg at birth, but would have to use google to figure at what this is in pounds / ounces.
At one year old she was 8.2kg and I weigh 67kg and measure 176cm.

Using old, anachronistic units just annoys me.  I do work in science, though.

Can anyone remember how long the non-news dominated the real-news last time a royal sprogged?  I can't watch it at the moment due to the high frequency of Nicholas Witchell.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 02, 2015, 04:22:32 pm
So how many Olympic size swimming pools is that?

Hold up, this is a Royal sprog we're talking about and thus should be measured in Wales-related units.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Biggsy on May 02, 2015, 05:14:51 pm
The problem comes later in life when asked your weight.  Nurses these days don't know what a stone is.  You reach for a calculator, remember the figure 2.2, strain to think whether it's 2.2 kg in a pound or vice versa, and finally take away the first number you thought of.

I was a 9 pound baby.  That's the heaviest I've ever been.  (in relation to the average person of my age)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on May 02, 2015, 05:15:56 pm
So how many Olympic size swimming pools is that?
UNITS !!!      :facepalm:       /teacher

I think you meant African Elephants.

(whose ears weigh upto 3 stone, apparently - I've been waiting to drop that trivia into "everyday" conversation ... )
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Bledlow on May 02, 2015, 05:21:17 pm
(I'm currently reading an alternate history series where an industrialising 17th century Europe seems to be standardising on decimal feet, as a compromise between politics and common sense.)
What's that, then? (Interest aroused). Any good?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: sg37409 on May 02, 2015, 05:26:45 pm
Anyway, since the royal family seem to exist primarily for the benefit of the Express and the USAnian tourist industry, it makes sense to use their native units.

SHould have given its length as well then. USanian's seem to quote weight and length. I was prepared for the 1st but when they asked the length..  ???
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on May 02, 2015, 05:36:58 pm
Going on about one system of measurement over another is silly.

Presumably the metric goons never pickup a handful of something, or come back in a while, or take a few steps.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Bledlow on May 02, 2015, 05:48:45 pm
From your reference to 'metric goons', & the tone of the rest of your post, I detect an enormous dose of hypocrisy. You're "[g]oing on about one system of measurement over another", by denigrating those who prefer a particular system, & doing so in a way which suggests an irrational dislike of that system.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Basil on May 02, 2015, 06:06:29 pm
I have no problem with a person's weight being given in stones and pounds or in kg.  My brain sorts either.  However, for some reason I have difficulty with the american habit of using only pounds.
190 lbs.  It sounds heavy, but I've no idea how heavy.  Yes, I know I can quickly work it out mentally, but I don't want to. I want to understand now, in the moment of hearing or reading, without interrupting the flow.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 02, 2015, 06:37:50 pm
I grew up reading lots of Just William books, so I find a quarter of gobstoppers for a farthing has a comfortable familiarity.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on May 02, 2015, 08:31:58 pm
(I'm currently reading an alternate history series where an industrialising 17th century Europe seems to be standardising on decimal feet, as a compromise between politics and common sense.)
What's that, then? (Interest aroused). Any good?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1632_series

It's not so much the main canon, but the fan-written contributions (which are canonised through a complicated and hard to explain collective collaboration process) that make it.  There's an awful lot of tedious military stuff from the military history buffs, and the intricacies of all the religious politics can be overwhelming at times, but at the same time so many stories full of glorious little details by someone with a bit of specialised knowledge or an interest in a particular subject or character.  Everything from radio and aeronautical engineering through medicine and horse-breeding to politics and music.

Health warning:  It's literally endless.  People keep writing more.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Canardly on May 02, 2015, 08:59:49 pm
Even when you go metric they mess about with it. Who the hell is Kelvin?  (polishes sleeve of Idiot's guide to curmudgeon).
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: PhilO on May 05, 2015, 11:12:22 am
As a child of the early seventies, I find myself swapping between units according to which gives the roundest number.  Eg, "It's about a metre and a half long and a couple of inches wide."  ::-)

I know I'm 91kg, but haven't a clue what that is in stones. It would probably depress me... :-[

Regarding baby weights, both our two were given in kg, and we had to do a conversion before we could tell anybody (of any age) as everybody wanted it in lbs. I can't remember what the figures were now, though.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on May 05, 2015, 11:24:46 am
From your reference to 'metric goons', & the tone of the rest of your post, I detect an enormous dose of hypocrisy. You're "[g]oing on about one system of measurement over another", by denigrating those who prefer a particular system, & doing so in a way which suggests an irrational dislike of that system.

So, are you a metric goon?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: spesh on May 05, 2015, 11:59:21 am
As ani fule kno, goons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Goon_Show) are imperial, pre-dating metrification by several years...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on May 05, 2015, 12:42:42 pm
We already have loads of threads to debate metric and imperial, you know.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 05, 2015, 01:17:52 pm
But first we have to decide whether the thread is left- or right-handed, male or female, ISO or ANSI, etc etc.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on May 05, 2015, 01:26:00 pm
We already have loads of threads to debate metric and imperial, you know.

Shed loads, bucket loads or a kilo and a half?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 05, 2015, 01:40:00 pm
We already have loads of threads to debate metric and imperial, you know.

Shed loads, bucket loads or a kilo and a half?

Metric or Imperial fucktons?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on May 05, 2015, 01:59:49 pm
But first we have to decide whether the thread is left- or right-handed, male or female, ISO or ANSI, etc etc.

Not to speak of the pitch...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Bledlow on May 05, 2015, 02:16:39 pm
(I'm currently reading an alternate history series where an industrialising 17th century Europe seems to be standardising on decimal feet, as a compromise between politics and common sense.)
What's that, then? (Interest aroused). Any good?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1632_series

It's not so much the main canon, but the fan-written contributions (which are canonised through a complicated and hard to explain collective collaboration process) that make it.  There's an awful lot of tedious military stuff from the military history buffs, and the intricacies of all the religious politics can be overwhelming at times, but at the same time so many stories full of glorious little details by someone with a bit of specialised knowledge or an interest in a particular subject or character.  Everything from radio and aeronautical engineering through medicine and horse-breeding to politics and music.

Health warning:  It's literally endless.  People keep writing more.
Ah, that one. I read the original book when it was new, & was put off.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Wowbagger on May 06, 2015, 12:18:00 am
Even when you go metric they mess about with it. Who the hell is Kelvin?  (polishes sleeve of Idiot's guide to Curmudgeon).

Sir Sir! I know Sir!

He was the editor of the Sun when it became very cold, and is now a red dwarf (or something).
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Canardly on May 06, 2015, 07:34:15 am
....and how do you gauge a screw gauge? Completely intuitive, what?

http://www.hingedummy.info/screwinfopage2.htm
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on May 22, 2015, 01:22:23 pm
BONG!.....

Footballer may or may not be a Virgin.



BBC (sinking lower by the day) Sports Headline
Quote
David Luiz: PSG defender dismisses 'virgin' reports

This is a story, by the BBC, that takes a rather aloof stance on trashy journalists asking such irrelevant and invasive questions but then runs it as their own "Virgin" headline.

It's getting fairly typical for the BBC to descend into "Hello" magazine news reporting I'm afraid.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on May 29, 2015, 08:59:43 am
BONG

Explosive device dangerous http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32841971 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32841971)

BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on May 29, 2015, 12:12:06 pm
There's a lot of SUGAR in sweet snacks.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-32914999 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-32914999)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on May 29, 2015, 01:59:25 pm
BONG

Explosive device dangerous http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32841971 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-32841971)

BONG

In related news:  If you find unexploded ordnance, leave it where it is, and don't take it to the Police Station!

http://www.suttonguardian.co.uk/news/12970780.Bomb_scare__World_War_II_hand_grenade_handed_into_Sutton_police_station/

Again! :o

http://www.suttonguardian.co.uk/news/11591902.UPDATE___I_ve_never_seen_so_many_police_officers_run_so_fast__says_pensioner_who_sparked_full_scale_alert_after_handing_WWII_mortar__in_to_Sutton_police/

:facepalm:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: sg37409 on June 19, 2015, 01:12:49 pm
Roy Keane 'shouted at taxi driver' in Altrincham

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-manchester-33187667
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on June 20, 2015, 12:52:06 pm
Kids with good memories make better liars.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-33204165 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-33204165)

Will we wait ten years to find that they make good lawyers?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on July 01, 2015, 04:06:32 pm
BONG! ....

People on the beach, Kids eating ice-creams, the term "scorcher" and photos of women in bras in London parks.

Old people saying "I like it hot... but not this hot".

It's July.. it's called summer.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: pcolbeck on July 01, 2015, 04:11:15 pm
BONG! ....

People on the beach, Kids eating ice-creams, the term "scorcher" and photos of women in bras in London parks.

Old people saying "I like it hot... but not this hot".

It's July.. it's called summer.

I'll give them a pass on it today though since its the hottest July day on record.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on July 02, 2015, 11:46:04 am
BONG! ....

"I'm just sick of women being judged and having fingers pointed at them." - Says Rita Ora, the new judge on X-Factor (and former judge on "The Voice").
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on July 05, 2015, 11:08:08 pm
Bong! Sprog christened. Bong!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: contango on July 08, 2015, 12:51:07 am
(https://fitzaang.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/peanuts.jpg)

Not suitable for nut allergy sufferers due to the methods used in the manufacture? I wonder what methods of manufacture might be used to make a bag of peanuts suitable for those with nut allergies.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on July 08, 2015, 07:07:43 am
Peanuts are not technically nuts at all, so leaving out any kind of nutty [good|bad]ness during the processing thereof?  I imagine some kind of nut oil is used.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rafletcher on July 08, 2015, 07:50:42 am
Peanuts are I believe Legumes. But peanut allergy is what is being warned about I expect.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on July 08, 2015, 01:58:08 pm
It's warning that peanuts may be contaminated with nuts and sesame.  As someone who's allergic to sesame (but not peanuts - I just can't stand the fuckers), I appreciate that.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 08, 2015, 02:32:53 pm
It should be a warning of that, but due to the common conception that peanuts are nuts (blame the word, let's give them a new name), I'm not sure that it is. It could be made clear with the word "tree nuts".
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: jsabine on July 08, 2015, 04:03:11 pm
It's almost certainly a CYA warning because the peanuts are processed in a factory that also deals with nuts and sesame. Given that the packaging looks very much like it's the value brand from one of our major purveyors of toothy comestibles, I'm sure the warning will have been lawyered from here to doomsday, and is actually intended to mean what it says.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: urban_biker on August 21, 2015, 12:17:46 pm
Bong . . ."Charles Dickens novels still considered classics! " from the Portsmouth evening news!


http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/charles-dickens-novels-still-considered-classics-1-6916074 (http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/charles-dickens-novels-still-considered-classics-1-6916074)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Feanor on September 02, 2015, 08:39:49 am
BONG! Company changes font used on it's website!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Tim Hall on September 02, 2015, 05:09:15 pm
BONG! Company changes font used on it's website!

And, it appears, recycles the left over serifs as apostrophe's.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on September 02, 2015, 05:10:10 pm
BONG!  Man to leave job (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-34126389) ::-)

Also: Mr Hall, you are a Bad Man.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Deano on September 09, 2015, 05:12:29 pm
BONG! Rich old lady still not dead.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on September 09, 2015, 05:40:57 pm
BONG! Rich old lady still not dead.

BONG! Rich old lady's son still jobless and claiming benefits.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on September 13, 2015, 12:23:21 pm
BONG!  Right Wing press print bad stuff about Labour Leader.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on September 16, 2015, 09:23:29 am
BONG! Man doesn't sing a song.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on September 30, 2015, 10:57:46 pm
Woman has tight ring cut off finger.
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/13794789.Woman_seeks_help_of_firefighters_to_get_ring_off_her_finger/?ref=rss (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/13794789.Woman_seeks_help_of_firefighters_to_get_ring_off_her_finger/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Wowbagger on October 01, 2015, 12:00:05 pm
Woman has tight ring cut off finger.
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/13794789.Woman_seeks_help_of_firefighters_to_get_ring_off_her_finger/?ref=rss (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/13794789.Woman_seeks_help_of_firefighters_to_get_ring_off_her_finger/?ref=rss)

I went to H. Samuels to get mine done.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Andrij on October 11, 2015, 07:18:03 pm
(https://farm1.staticflickr.com/765/21905321558_d3cf5a4621_c.jpg) (https://flic.kr/p/znGuVU)
DSC_0279.NEF (https://flic.kr/p/znGuVU) by Andrij (https://www.flickr.com/photos/bebchenko/), on Flickr
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on October 15, 2015, 08:20:50 am
BONG Politician asks people to vote for her party BONG



Quote
Nicola Sturgeon is to use her opening speech at the SNP conference to call on people who rejected independence in the referendum to vote for her party


Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on October 24, 2015, 01:56:58 pm
BONG! Clocks go back last weekend in October.
Every year.

http://www.borehamwoodtimes.co.uk/news/13892758.Clocks_set_to_go_back_one_hour_over_weekend/?ref=rss (http://www.borehamwoodtimes.co.uk/news/13892758.Clocks_set_to_go_back_one_hour_over_weekend/?ref=rss)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on October 25, 2015, 07:22:17 am
>>> BONG War criminal indulges in further self-justification (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-34630380) BONG <<<
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on November 11, 2015, 09:14:29 am
BONG
Quote
Nation to fall silent on Armistice Day
A two-minute silence will be observed across the UK later to remember those who died in the two World Wars and all conflicts since
BONG

This is, of course, entirley different to the silences observed on Armistice Day in other years
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on December 16, 2015, 02:18:48 pm
BONG!.......

The last surviving brother of the late Hollywood actor Richard Burton has died, his family has confirmed.

Thanks BBC News, I'm sure we all like to keep tabs on the whereabouts of Richard Burton's family.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on December 16, 2015, 02:35:27 pm
BONG! ... Some people like a film, and others don't. ..
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on December 16, 2015, 08:19:35 pm
BONG! .... He's Luke's Father.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on December 27, 2015, 12:51:22 am
BONG!... Some people watch a TV programme on a day off, some others watch something else.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on December 29, 2015, 11:35:05 am
BONG!.............

A French police dog who was killed in a raid after the Paris attacks is being honoured with a top bravery medal.

Just a couple of points on this one:

1) It's rather odd giving dead animals medals. (Pigeons being the most odd example).

2) It wasn't brave.  It probably thought it was another one of those ace games where you get to bite a man's big padded arm.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on December 29, 2015, 04:21:02 pm
1) It's rather odd giving dead animals medals. (Pigeons being the most odd example).

Interestingly, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G.I._Joe_(pigeon) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/G.I._Joe_(pigeon)) came up via the random article button recently, and I concluded the same.  Though he was a badass pigeon.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jakob W on January 02, 2016, 08:33:25 am
I think the pigeon mentioned below is still on display at the RAF Museum: http://www.lookandlearn.com/blog/18494/the-gallant-pigeon-that-saved-six-ww1-airmen-lost-in-the-north-sea/
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on January 28, 2016, 08:54:34 pm
BONG!

Actor takes on role!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on February 20, 2016, 10:03:18 pm
BONG! Workers need and use toilets.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-35588614 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-35588614)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on February 29, 2016, 06:01:13 pm
Bong! Yet another mutual back-slapping awards ceremony.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on March 04, 2016, 09:27:26 am
BONG  Sno falls in winter  BONG

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-35723643 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-35723643)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: cycleman on March 04, 2016, 03:44:30 pm
Technically spring  :demon:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on March 04, 2016, 06:20:38 pm
Only since they changed the 'definition'.
Winter stretches to 21 March by 'old' definition.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: SteveC on March 04, 2016, 07:01:53 pm
Meteorological or astronomical -- two different start dates.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on March 04, 2016, 09:08:06 pm
The difference between late Winter and early Spring is a line on a calendar.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: De Sisti on March 04, 2016, 09:16:23 pm
Kids with good memories make better liars.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-33204165 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-33204165)

Will we wait (x) years to find that they make good lawyers politicians ?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 08, 2016, 09:27:44 am
BONG.....

From the BBC..

Natasha Hamilton & Ritchie Neville split up five months after getting engaged

No, me neither.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 08, 2016, 09:45:17 am
Apparently she used to be in Atomic Kitten, whom I understand to have been a Popular Beat Combo.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on March 08, 2016, 10:32:56 am
BONG... Posh family have skiing holiday ...BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 08, 2016, 03:45:02 pm
Apparently she used to be in Atomic Kitten, whom I understand to have been a Popular Beat Combo.

2/3 of Atomic Kitten were the highlight of UKC's summer ball one year.  Presumably they couldn't get Craig David.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Peter on March 08, 2016, 03:47:45 pm
I still don't get Craig David.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 08, 2016, 03:57:28 pm
I still don't get Craig David.

He was a successful ukc.misc in-joke.  I can't explain his popularity in the wider world, but if he'd rocked up at the summer ball holding a rice cooker, he'd certainly have got a standing ovation.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Peter on March 08, 2016, 04:00:46 pm
 :)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 14, 2016, 08:43:01 am
BONG!......

Dog is crowned "Best dog in world".

I'm keen to know the best of other species now.  Best Mouse?  Best Monkey?

Crufts is one hell of a strange spectacle isn't it?  Even the reasons for it aren't that clear.  They seem to be trying to preserve the integrity of certain breeds whilst, at the same time, conveniently ignoring that these "pure-breeds" were bred from other breeds in the first place, sometimes at the expense of the dog's health for merely aesthetic reasons (a practice perpetuated by this weird beauty pageant).

Congenital deformities of face, back, legs ...etc., bred for, and prized for, some fashionable aesthetic in Doggy World, can lead to some horrible medical conditions.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 14, 2016, 11:27:04 am
I can't help but wonder what what happen if someone rocked up at Crufts with a timber wolf :demon:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 14, 2016, 01:18:14 pm
I can't help but wonder what what happen if someone rocked up at Crufts with Greebo
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 14, 2016, 02:01:21 pm
What or who is Greebo? I was wondering about Scooby-Doo or K9.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 14, 2016, 02:03:00 pm
What or who is Greebo? I was wondering about Scooby-Doo or K9.

One of Mr Pratchett's characters, famed for ruthlessly shooting Han Solo to DETH in a deleted scene from The Phantom Menace Super Dooper Poopa Scooper Extended Director's Remastered Edition[1].

http://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Greebo


[1] This statement may contain lies or traces of lies.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: caerau on March 14, 2016, 02:21:49 pm
Granny Weatherwax's cat no?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: davelodwig on March 14, 2016, 05:39:50 pm
Nanny ogg's

Granny weatherwax's cat was called you.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on March 17, 2016, 09:37:25 am
BONG Exercise helps keep you slim(mer) BONG

C
Quote
ommuters who shun car travel keep slimmer, study concludes
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-35812984 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-35812984)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pedaldog on March 17, 2016, 10:44:26 pm
Nanny ogg's


"I hope he doesn't happen to anyone".
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: jsabine on March 18, 2016, 01:52:45 pm
Cyclist was not involved in accident on Milngavie Road yesterday (http://www.milngavieherald.co.uk/news/local-headlines/cyclist-was-not-involved-in-accident-on-milngavie-road-yesterday-1-4068906)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on March 22, 2016, 09:49:07 am
BONG...Helicopter pilot actually turns up for work...BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 23, 2016, 12:18:23 pm
BONG!....

Runaway Japanese zebra dies in golf course lake

This one seems to have come out of the BBC random headline generator.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on April 20, 2016, 07:07:00 am
BONG! Married couple sit on a bench. Nobody died.

Well, not this time, anyway . . .
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on April 21, 2016, 06:03:25 pm
BONG Woman has birthday (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-36093306) BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on April 26, 2016, 01:29:12 pm
BONG.....

Quote
Big Ben 'bongs' to be silenced for £29m refurbishment
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on April 26, 2016, 01:31:52 pm
BONG...

South Yorkshire police incompetent 27 years ago, dishonest ever since.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on April 26, 2016, 03:12:59 pm
BONG...

South Yorkshire police incompetent 27 years ago, dishonest ever since.

BONG...

SUN Newspaper,  a bunch of lying, cheating, sensationalist, scum 27 years ago and a bunch of lying, cheating, sensationalist, scum 27 years later.

Quote
According to Peter Chippindale and Chris Horrie in their definitive history Stick it Up Your Punter - the Rise and Fall of the Sun, MacKenzie spent an unusual amount of time deliberating over the fateful headline for that day's paper.

"MacKenzie then did an enormously uncharacteristic thing. He sat for fully half an hour thinking about the front page layout."

According to the book he pondered two headlines, one that was rejected reading "You Scum", and the one that was eventually used - and was to prove the biggest disaster for the paper's reputation and sales: "The Truth".

A team of about 18 journalists and photographers had been sent to cover the story, and although reporter Harry Arnold sought out MacKenzie to caution against reporting allegations as truth, MacKenzie pressed on.

Having decided to lay the blame on the fans' doorsteps, there was no stopping him.

Under the headline "The Truth" there were three subheadings:

Some fans picked pockets of victims
Some fans urinated on the brave cops
Some fans beat up PCs giving the kiss of life

The story read as follows: "Drunken Liverpool fans viciously attacked rescue workers as they tried to revive victims of the Hillsborough soccer disaster, it was revealed last night.

"Police officers, firemen and ambulance crew were punched, kicked and urinated upon by a hooligan element in the crowd.

"Some thugs rifled the pockets of injured fans as they were stretched out unconscious on the pitch.

All of it lies.  Concocted by Police and Sun reporters to deflect blame.

As a Manchester United fan I must take my hat off (just this once you understand?) to the people of Liverpool rejecting the SUN newspaper in their city ever since.

Heaven knows there has been enough reason for every other city to reject it, on that story and other subsequent ones.

I wonder whether it would be possible for me to ever truly like someone who I knew bought the SUN?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on April 26, 2016, 03:24:29 pm
I'm the same flavour of red as you. I have no doubt that if any other team had been playing at Hillsborough that day, and the same thing had happened, the lies would have been the same.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on April 26, 2016, 05:07:39 pm
BONG .......

From the BBC's crack investigative journalism team...Here's one for Wowbagger.

Quote
Kid Rock's personal assistant found dead at singer's home in Nashville

I don't know if that wins a record for Not News but I'm struggling to see why, outside of very local Nashville news, it's news.

I can imagine situations where the PA's of more famous celebrities may have died and we never got to hear about it.

Has anyone checked on Paul McCartney's PA recently?  What about the PA of David Hasslehoff? It's been suspiciously quiet on that front.

 Government cover up?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on April 27, 2016, 10:04:10 am
Somebody who isn't Wowbagger asks:

Who the **** is Kid Rock?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on May 01, 2016, 02:05:10 pm
Dad Rock's son.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on May 02, 2016, 11:19:46 am
He was in The Scissor Sisters' when they covered Quo's Paper Plane
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on May 03, 2016, 09:31:13 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-36189614

Voluptuous Vanessa With Three Willing Holes mistaken for angel.  The excuse?  "These people don't have the internet".
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on May 03, 2016, 09:34:38 pm
roger wins the internet.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on May 04, 2016, 09:14:22 pm
Duchess reveals name of royal hamster (http://www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/hamster-for-online-xls8fcm39?CMP=Spklr-_-Editorial-_-TWITTER-_-thetimes-_-20160504-_-News-_-456543004-_-Imageandlink&linkId=24148798)

They missed a trick with the paywall there...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 05, 2016, 09:52:31 am
They missed another by not calling the hamster "Special Patrol Group".
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Auntie Helen on May 08, 2016, 05:51:17 am
Man has haircut

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/36235808/internet-has-freaked-over-harry-styles-hair-cut
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Bledlow on May 23, 2016, 11:25:53 pm
Man buys car.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jon on May 23, 2016, 11:34:23 pm
Man buys car.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921)
Cheapskate.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: PeteB99 on May 24, 2016, 10:25:08 am
Man buys car.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921)
Cheapskate.

Interesting that Mrs Cameron doesn't appear to have been involved in the transaction. If my partner wants a new car I'd want her to choose it even if I was paying.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jon on May 24, 2016, 10:26:25 am
Man buys car.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921)
Cheapskate.

Interesting that Mrs Cameron doesn't appear to have been involved in the transaction. If my partner wants a new car I'd want her to choose it even if I was paying.
I suspect it's an attempt at looking normal rather than a genuine transaction. She'll probably really be driving around in something expensive and German.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: caerau on May 24, 2016, 03:16:48 pm
New text rules (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-36367752) on a social media thingumy


Hold the front page  ::-)







Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: spesh on May 24, 2016, 04:23:36 pm
Man buys car.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921)
Cheapskate.

Interesting that Mrs Cameron doesn't appear to have been involved in the transaction. If my partner wants a new car I'd want her to choose it even if I was paying.
I suspect it's an attempt at looking normal rather than a genuine transaction. She'll probably really be driving around in something expensive and German.

Funny you should say that...

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/im-not-fking-driving-that-says-samantha-cameron-20160524109050
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on May 24, 2016, 05:11:52 pm
Man buys car.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921)
Cheapskate.

Interesting that Mrs Cameron doesn't appear to have been involved in the transaction. If my partner wants a new car I'd want her to choose it even if I was paying.
I suspect it's an attempt at looking normal rather than a genuine transaction. She'll probably really be driving around in something expensive and German.

It's Call-Me-Dave showing he's part of the lumpen proletariat, the veritable man on the Clapham omnibus, etc. etc. All BS, of course, we all know she quite capable of popping out and buying a new Range Rover on the way to lunch.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 24, 2016, 06:36:39 pm
Man buys car.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-36359921)

I'll be in the area on Sunday, so will keep an eye out for a crappy Nissan being driven on the Right.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on May 24, 2016, 08:05:31 pm
I bet it's a third or fourth car for them, possibly so SamCam can have a city car and a country car.  If it's a 1.2, hopefully Dave knows how to spot the signs of a worn big end; the Mk3 Micra is too heavy for the power available (I had one for 18 months), the engines get thrashed and an unsympathetic driver who expects the car to pull cleanly at 35mph in fifth will turn the bearings oval.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jon on May 24, 2016, 08:14:18 pm
I bet it's a third or fourth car for them, possibly so SamCam can have a city car and a country car.  If it's a 1.2, hopefully Dave knows how to spot the signs of a worn big end; the Mk3 Micra is too heavy for the power available (I had one for 18 months), the engines get thrashed and an unsympathetic driver who expects the car to pull cleanly at 35mph in fifth will turn the bearings oval.
I don't imagine his PR attempts require him to consider the actual mechanics of his PR 'vehicle'/vehicle.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on May 25, 2016, 08:27:27 am
<BONG> Fascist bully acts like fascist bully <BONG>

(with apologies for linking to that Unclean Place)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3607036/Nigel-Farage-caught-camera-telling-Ukip-supporters-Dudley-bully-people-voting-Brexit.html#ixzz49bdbMtM9 (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3607036/Nigel-Farage-caught-camera-telling-Ukip-supporters-Dudley-bully-people-voting-Brexit.html#ixzz49bdbMtM9)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on June 09, 2016, 06:50:45 pm
BONGG! >>> Man finds fox cub in dishwasher (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-36492373) <<< BONGG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on June 10, 2016, 12:17:51 am
GRAUNIBONGG! >>> Seagull turns orange after falling into vat of chicken tikka masala (http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/jun/09/seagull-turns-orange-after-falling-into-vat-of-chicken-tikka-masala) <<< GRAUNIBONGG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on June 10, 2016, 01:25:04 am
BONGG! >>> Man finds fox cub in dishwasher (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-36492373) <<< BONGG!

You beat me to this! I posted it in 'Where the Wild Things Are'.

I'm afraid I do see this a faintly newsworthy.

'Vet finds he lacks SKILZ to displace fox cub without resorting to broom.'
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on June 10, 2016, 08:24:40 am
You can try talking to them. It doesn't work. I've tried on this one in my garden.

(http://i304.photobucket.com/albums/nn190/ianp_photo/IMG_1196.jpg)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on June 10, 2016, 08:28:24 am
English football fans fight.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on June 15, 2016, 01:20:38 am
BBC -

Bong......
Michu Meszaros, the actor who played Alf in the popular 1980s US sitcom of the same name, has died aged 76.

Truly not news.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on June 15, 2016, 09:42:06 am
BBC -

Bong......
Michu Meszaros, the actor who played Alf in the popular 1980s US sitcom of the same name, has died aged 76.

Truly not news.
The person in the furry suit?

I used to have a huge crush on a girl who was mad about that show. She had a massive doberman named Alf after the show. It wasn't cuddly and it didn't like me. I'd turn up to pick her up. No sign of Alf. Get out of car. Alf would appear from nowhere, stand, drooling and snarling head level with my crotch, teeth bared and about 4" away. "Um, Debbie, could you call Alf off, please". She thought it hilarious. Alf never bit anyone as long as they didn't move.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on June 25, 2016, 03:24:57 pm
BONG! Entertainer not entertaining at the moment: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-36629400

 ::-)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on June 26, 2016, 01:06:16 am
BONG: CAEK is fattening and bad for your teeth. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-36608269 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-36608269)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on July 06, 2016, 09:24:32 am
BONG!....

"Lucy Alexander is to step down as the co-presenter of BBC One property auction show Homes Under The Hammer."


"In other News.......The World is Fucked!"
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: spesh on July 06, 2016, 12:02:50 pm
BONG!

Former PM responsible for the worst foreign policy clusterfest since Suez still thinks it was the right thing to do.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on July 06, 2016, 04:43:03 pm
I'm not sure if celeb stories are cheating - there are so many utterly pointless stories out there. But anyway:

BONG!

Celeb blogs picture of pet dog:

http://www.refinery29.com/2016/07/115880/kaley-cuoco-american-flag-backlash?utm_source=feed&utm_medium=rss&ref=yfp
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on September 22, 2016, 07:35:54 pm
BONG!

Fekkin' Bake Off  :demon:

BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on September 24, 2016, 11:33:37 pm
Why should the Brangelina[1] split matter? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-37452862)

(click to show/hide)


[1] Note for Wowbagger:  A popular beat combo.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on September 30, 2016, 11:12:54 pm
BONG!

Even more important than frikkin' Bake Off: Have high heels toppled out of fashion? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37517468)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Peter on October 01, 2016, 12:20:15 am
Why should the Brangelina[1] split matter? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-37452862)

(click to show/hide)


[1] Note for Wowbagger:  A popular beat combo.

Kim, you're not a million miles away with your comment to Wow:  "Farewell Angelina" was a popular Dylan song, recorded by Joan Baez in the 60s.  I'm sure some paper with an aged editor will have run "Farewell Brangelina".  May even have been done on this thread - I haven't read it all!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on October 05, 2016, 06:19:04 pm
There might be limits to human longevity.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-37552116 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-37552116)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on October 08, 2016, 10:15:39 am
"Pimp My Ride" Was Just One Big Lie

Ex-contestants from the show have taken to Reddit to expose some of the secrets that went on behind the scenes.

 :o
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rr on October 10, 2016, 03:46:03 pm
Royal Mail Deliver letters
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on October 11, 2016, 04:37:35 pm
Receptionists 'put people off seeing doctor' (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-37605573)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on October 11, 2016, 04:56:01 pm
"Pimp My Ride" Was Just One Big Lie

Ex-contestants from the show have taken to Reddit to expose some of the secrets that went on behind the scenes.

 :o
WTAF?  My whole world has just exploded! :o
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on October 30, 2016, 02:44:40 pm
Asda card machine fault leads to queues at checkouts (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37815973)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on November 14, 2016, 01:23:24 pm
Photo of trees with a gap in them that looks slightly like Australia (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37969974)

I was more impressed with the "Viz" photo of a bush that looked a bit like a man with a massive penis.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 17, 2016, 10:05:59 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/38012990/the-rise-in-selfie-deaths-and-how-to-stop-them

Besides the obvious point, not a single mention of Darwin awards.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Legs on November 18, 2016, 01:39:16 pm
Hot, nasty water is hot and nasty. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38018209)

At least they could get £250 for sending the clip to Jeremy Beadle.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on November 18, 2016, 02:19:25 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/38012990/the-rise-in-selfie-deaths-and-how-to-stop-them

Besides the obvious point, not a single mention of Darwin awards.

This is today's tragedy.
RIP Oksana; such a shame technology has trumped reason.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/37689716/girl-aged-12-dies-after-taking-extreme-selfie (http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/37689716/girl-aged-12-dies-after-taking-extreme-selfie)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on November 18, 2016, 02:23:39 pm
Hot, nasty water is hot and nasty. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-38018209)

At least they could get £250 for sending the clip to Jeremy Beadle.

Good luck with that.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on November 18, 2016, 02:24:15 pm
Wriggly babies can roll off changing tables, who would have thunk it?
Nice save by big brother, but wouldn't it make more sense to stand next to changing table than have all these silly cameras?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/38020375 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/video_and_audio/headlines/38020375)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Dibdib on November 18, 2016, 10:25:44 pm
Tomorrow's Express front page: "WINTER WILL BE COLD, POSSIBLY WET"

https://twitter.com/BBCNews/status/799739675074142208

 :facepalm:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 21, 2016, 05:15:29 pm
Irn Bru sales increase in Westminster following 2015 election (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-38051933)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on November 21, 2016, 05:17:34 pm
Bunch of soft gits stuck. Winter is cold and/or wet... (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-devon-38049907)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on November 21, 2016, 05:19:23 pm
WHAT??????????
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on November 21, 2016, 09:01:53 pm
Garages broken into...stuff just moved around a bit (http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news/14918651.Police_appeal_after_break_in_at_Stratton_garages/)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on November 22, 2016, 08:23:30 am
Who's the one in the middle? (http://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/14914667.Lifelong_Ant___Dec_fan_gets_cheeky_tattoo_of_the_Geordie_duo_on_his_backside/?ref=trn#comments-anchor)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on November 29, 2016, 11:58:02 am
BONG ....

BBC yet again..

Cirque du Soleil star and Australian Olympic gymnast Lisa Skinner has been fitted with a head brace after fracturing a vertebra in a fall during an aerial hoop routine in Brisbane.

I mean I'd let them off if this was on "Good Morning Brisbane" but really...we're being provided with news about Australian Circus injuries now?

Did anyone in Cyprus break an ankle today?  I demand to see a BBC correspondent live from a Belgian A&E department's waiting room.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 29, 2016, 01:34:11 pm
They forgot that FACT × IMPORTANCE = NEWS a long time ago...

(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/77/Fact_x_importance_equals_ne.jpg)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on December 01, 2016, 09:57:16 am
BONG !

BBC obviously -

Prince Harry has met Barbados's biggest star, Rihanna, twice in a day at events marking 50 years of independence.
At an afternoon event in Bridgetown, Prince Harry kept the singer waiting as he stopped to greet the president of Guyana first, before turning to her.
Rihanna stood to greet the prince, who said: "Hello, it's very nice to meet you."
The pair later sat side-by-side on stage at a celebratory concert.


I think that's more than enough for the media to start thinking about wedding bells.

A bit rude to keep her waiting like that though.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 01, 2016, 10:09:05 am
It's a bit premature for wedding bells, Lee, even on the BBC; the president of Guyana's already married.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on December 01, 2016, 10:43:57 am
...

A bit rude to keep her waiting like that though.
Keep 'em keen.

(Young royals are well-trained in wife-hunting tactics these days.)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on December 14, 2016, 10:23:05 pm
World’s oldest water gets even older (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-38311781)

(Just the headline - the actual article is about perfectly interesting SCIENCE)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on December 24, 2016, 03:05:45 pm
60year-old has heart attack. Now stable. (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/carrie-fisher-hospital-cardiac-arrest-221326002.html)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: madcow on December 24, 2016, 07:01:58 pm
BBC Look North did an in field interview with a farmer growing Brussel sprouts.
Apparently,he sells more in the two weeks before Christmas than at any other time of the year.
Holy cow, Batman.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on December 24, 2016, 07:05:09 pm
60year-old has heart attack. Now stable. (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/carrie-fisher-hospital-cardiac-arrest-221326002.html)

Stable doesn't necessarily mean going to be ok.

It is 2016 after all   :o
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on December 24, 2016, 07:30:46 pm
60year-old has heart attack. Now stable. (https://uk.news.yahoo.com/carrie-fisher-hospital-cardiac-arrest-221326002.html)

Stable doesn't necessarily mean going to be ok.

It is 2016 after all   :o
That one does sound a little callous, looking back. Obv I wish her well.

I suppose it was more a whinge about celeb culture - "60yo quite ill but stable" would get a lot less coverage than the enormous bandwidth that this incident has generated. I'm sure it's pretty massive f**king news within her family and friends  :-\
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on December 24, 2016, 09:02:39 pm
TBH when I saw it it i thought this was another for 2016. So I do hope she is stable and she does pull through. 60 is no age.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on December 27, 2016, 07:02:58 pm
Looks like it can be described as news now.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Hot Flatus on December 27, 2016, 07:16:47 pm
In other news 151,599 other people died today.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Eccentrica Gallumbits on December 28, 2016, 10:58:17 am
Were any of them space princesses?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on December 28, 2016, 11:04:29 am
Were any of them space princesses?
That was a long time ago ...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on December 31, 2016, 08:01:47 pm
BONG ...


Australia - a country many times zones ahead of us - start celebrating the New Year before Europe does.


BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on January 05, 2017, 02:13:57 pm
People buy illegal drugs by mail order
(Dealer borrows marketing gimmick from Wiggle) (http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/38223838/is-your-postman-delivering-drugs)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: orienteer on January 05, 2017, 04:48:01 pm
Runner isn't knocked down by a van:
http://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20170105/p2a/00m/0na/006000c (http://mainichi.jp/english/articles/20170105/p2a/00m/0na/006000c)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Deano on January 05, 2017, 04:50:38 pm
Today, live on the BBC: coverage of an auction ::-)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on January 05, 2017, 05:02:18 pm
Man shot dead by police died of gunshot wounds.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on February 27, 2017, 03:39:05 pm
BONG!

Mix-up at annual self-congratulation event.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on March 01, 2017, 03:59:33 pm
BONG!
Older woman requests old-fashioned manners.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-39126467 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-39126467)

I agree with her but I am no spring chicken and think that people DON'T need to eat all the time.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 01, 2017, 04:09:22 pm
Our local arthouse cinema has a pretty reasonable "plain water only" rule.  It's lovely, as the floor isn't sticky and it doesn't stink of popcorn.  They also focus the projector properly and run the amplifiers at 10, so it doesn't distort during the explosions and car chases.

As for theatres, isn't eating/drinking (and the traditional queueueueueueueueing for the loo) what intervals are for?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on March 01, 2017, 04:23:50 pm
I'd like to introduce hungry weasels to the eyeballs of the person who thought that nachos and crisps were a good idea to eat at the cinema. Hence the constant crunching through every quiet bit of the movie. IT'S WHY CHRISTOPHER NOLAN MOVIES ARE SO LOUD. And the delightful squelch of sitting in a congealed puddle of salsa and cheese food substitute. Crunching through a flurry of popcorn was bad enough.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on March 01, 2017, 04:35:05 pm
It would be fine if people ate through the really noisy bits but they don't. They sit there bug-eyed through the crash bangs then rustle and crunch in the bits when you are supposed to use your branes.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 01, 2017, 04:36:22 pm
I just don't go to the Cinema any more. 

Fully grown Adults grazing on fast-food, the distracting glow from mobile phones, the constant, "Why did they do that?", "Who's he?", from confused Girlfriends.

I can wait until the Bluray is £10 and watch it on my TV (which doesn't seem any worse quality than the cinema).

The only time I approve of eating during a film is at Raleighwood (Raleigh, North Carolina) where the cinema is also a Diner.  I watched "Pulp Fiction" there 3 times.  It was a perfect way to watch Travolta and Thurman, in Jack Rabbit Slims, whilst being served a tasty Burger in Raleighwood.  100% Americana experience.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 01, 2017, 05:07:59 pm
I just don't go to the Cinema any more.

And mostly this.  Have you seen how hard it is to find showings of English-language films with subtitles?  Well, a lot easier than it used to be, thanks to http://www.yourlocalcinema.com/ but you'll soon find that the only showing is while you're at work or in some horrible retail park on the other side of town, and there's still about a 50% failure rate for the subtitles actually appearing when you get there.

Watching at home where you control the sound, the subtitles, have a pause button for nipping to the loo, and can watch on a smaller screen at close range, thereby avoiding the need for glasses, is usually the winning proposition.  It's only usually worth going to the cinema if there's something above and beyond the film itself (eg. a Q&A with the film makers) or you're desperate to avoid soilers.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 01, 2017, 05:14:47 pm
or you're desperate to avoid soilers.

I am
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on March 01, 2017, 09:10:13 pm
I only the Imax where it's a bit of a spectacle and most people have paid enough to focus their attention on the screen rather than checking FB every 10 ms or feeling an urgent need to phone a friend. On the few occasions I get dragged the multiplex it's always been a bit grim, like watching a big telly in a dirty living room. I'd rather wait for it come out on disk or streaming, for a start my living room has better beer (seriously, Amstel or Heineken, you spoil me!).

Outdoor cinema can be fun, but only if the weather is clement. I went to one of those secret cinema things once which was OK, but everyone seemed to be trying a bit too hard. I will enjoy this. It is the best thing ever.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 01, 2017, 09:43:26 pm
or you're desperate to avoid soilers.

I am

Oops.  'soilers' is an alt.babylon5.uk-ism for spoilers, though both can ruin your film-watching experience...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: andrewc on March 01, 2017, 11:03:37 pm
or you're desperate to avoid soilers.

I am

Oops.  'soilers' is an alt.babylon5.uk-ism for spoilers, though both can ruin your film-watching experience...


But should only be used in reference to episodes set in "Downbelow"....
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 01, 2017, 11:14:27 pm
or you're desperate to avoid soilers.

I am

Oops.  'soilers' is an alt.babylon5.uk-ism for spoilers, though both can ruin your film-watching experience...


But should only be used in reference to episodes set in "Downbelow"....

Particularly Brown Sector.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 02, 2017, 10:46:23 am
Babylon 5's a big pile of shit!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 02, 2017, 11:29:33 am
baby lon sounds like a new business for ian, following the success of ethnic friends.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 02, 2017, 03:16:40 pm
Babylon 5's a big pile of shit!

Get out!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 02, 2017, 06:19:03 pm
Babylon 5's a big pile of shit!

Get out!

HURRAH!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: andrewc on March 02, 2017, 06:33:53 pm
Babylon 5's a big pile of shit!

Get out!

HURRAH!


Careful, she'll go all Russian on you  :jurek:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Legs on March 03, 2017, 08:44:22 am
Woman has the temerity to have breasts. (http://www.standard.co.uk/showbiz/celebrity-news/brie-larson-s-revealing-outfit-deemed-inappropriate-by-the-one-show-viewers-a3479616.html)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 03, 2017, 11:46:11 am
And that on top of Emma Watson having the temerity to not quite flash her ladybumps in a "Vanity Fair" photo shoot.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 06, 2017, 08:11:00 pm
MPs (but probably not anyone else) shocked by women's dress code stories: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-39178911
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on March 06, 2017, 08:35:22 pm
In a hot office in summer, it's men who suffer from the dress code thing (I signed the heels petition btw...that was a neanderthal polcy).
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on March 06, 2017, 09:45:52 pm
RZ has not suffered a thrushy fanny from wearing tights...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: CrinklyLion on March 07, 2017, 08:17:59 am
The only time I approve of eating during a film is at Raleighwood (Raleigh, North Carolina) where the cinema is also a Diner.  I watched "Pulp Fiction" there 3 times.  It was a perfect way to watch Travolta and Thurman, in Jack Rabbit Slims, whilst being served a tasty Burger in Raleighwood.  100% Americana experience.

The SmallestCub randomly remembered his American cinema-going experience t'other day, after we had trips to 3 different cinemas in two days - and pronounced that the cinema with at-seat food service in New Jersey is his favourite cinema EVAH!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on March 08, 2017, 05:53:44 pm
SHOCKING 7-letter word on Countdown. You really shouldn't open this link.

I mean it  :hand:

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/strictlys-pasha-kovalevs-7-letter-151100103.html
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 09, 2017, 10:37:15 am
BONG... Regular bending and stretching keeps you flexible. (http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/islamic-prayer-ritual-muslim-reduce-back-pain-joint-elasticity-health-body-study-a7618776.html) BONG...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 09, 2017, 10:49:56 am
RZ has not suffered a thrushy fanny from wearing tights...

You say that.....
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 09, 2017, 01:20:56 pm
Actor has reason for doing mildly strange thing at awards ceremony last week: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-39215975
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on March 09, 2017, 05:44:27 pm
Toddler behaves like a toddler. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39220461 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39220461)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 14, 2017, 03:31:23 pm
BONG!

BBC - : Derek Griffiths to leave Coronation Street

I guess I must have missed the BONG! : Derek Griffiths joins Coronation Street

To be fair I also missed the BONG! : Derek Griffiths to leave Play School
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on March 14, 2017, 04:25:30 pm
To be fair I also missed the BONG! : Derek Griffiths to leave Play School


What?!?  :o
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on March 14, 2017, 05:05:56 pm
31 year old lady donates locks to charity.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-39194057 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-39194057)

Most commendable, granted but (then) six-year-old-niece did this a while back without publicity.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: caerau on March 14, 2017, 10:03:20 pm
Stupid clothes are not ideal for one's body shocker.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-39266383
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on March 15, 2017, 02:13:21 pm
BONG!

BBC - : Derek Griffiths to leave Coronation Street

I guess I must have missed the BONG! : Derek Griffiths joins Coronation Street

To be fair I also missed the BONG! : Derek Griffiths to leave Play School
Don't be daft!  Everyone knows Derek Griffiths isn't on Play School any more. 

But I'm shocked to hear BONG Derek Griffiths to leave SuperTed! :o
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Dibdib on March 15, 2017, 02:44:26 pm
Stupid clothes are not ideal for one's body shocker.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-39266383

Especially when reading the article, it's actually "Stupid clothes are not ideal for one's body, says organisation selling a 'cure' but actually fine for one's body, according to Actual Science People".
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on March 19, 2017, 11:58:08 am
Careless smoking causes fires but let's blame the skin creams. Smoking in bed is particularly hazardous.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39308748 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-39308748)
but let's blame the skin creams.

Article does not discuss effect of these creams on flame retardants, which have been put into cotton nightwear since the 1960s/70s.

Untreated cotton goes up PDQ.

Of course modern laundry is not very effective in some respects...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: woollypigs on March 19, 2017, 12:23:40 pm
How much skin cream did he apply to be able to catch fire? A whole vat?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on March 19, 2017, 12:31:39 pm
Suspect patient at DRI, being treated for psoriasis, would have been slathered.
When I worked there, patients smoked in the day room...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on March 19, 2017, 12:35:33 pm
Stupid clothes are not ideal for one's body shocker.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-39266383

Especially when reading the article, it's actually "Stupid clothes are not ideal for one's body, says organisation selling a 'cure' but actually fine for one's body, according to Actual Science People".

And chiropractic is an entirely made-up thing anyway.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ElyDave on March 20, 2017, 07:07:18 am
Who is Derek Griffiths anyway?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: clarion on March 20, 2017, 09:38:33 am
Who is Derek Griffiths anyway?
:o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o :o
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on March 20, 2017, 10:07:40 am
BONG!

BBC - : Derek Griffiths to leave Coronation Street

I guess I must have missed the BONG! : Derek Griffiths joins Coronation Street

To be fair I also missed the BONG! : Derek Griffiths to leave Play School
Don't be daft!  Everyone knows Derek Griffiths isn't on Play School any more. 

But I'm shocked to hear BONG Derek Griffiths to leave SuperTed! :o

I'm worried that he is forced to keep leaving jobs involving Teddy Bears?  ... They were different times of course.  Maybe it will help other Teddy Bears come forward.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 20, 2017, 10:12:35 am
I saw something about Neighbours no longer being shown on British TV. I thought it had disappeared decades ago!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on March 20, 2017, 01:14:19 pm
It moved to some frightful below-stairs commercial channel yonks ago; have they finally killed it utterly to DETH?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 22, 2017, 02:38:30 pm
Trucker eats salad (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-39349951)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rr on April 05, 2017, 06:47:24 pm
Camp singer comes out in his 70s

Sent from my XT1562 using Tapatalk

Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Polar Bear on April 05, 2017, 07:01:51 pm
Farage insults (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-39501167) europeans.    ::-)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: caerau on April 05, 2017, 10:15:38 pm
Camp singer comes out in his 70s



Who'd have thunk it eh?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on April 19, 2017, 11:24:54 am
Massacre ad banned (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-39639704).
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 19, 2017, 11:30:47 am
Massacre ad banned (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-39639704).
The ASA really mascaraed that one.  :D
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 21, 2017, 06:39:42 pm
Brexit: EU demands Britain pay divorce bill in euros not pounds
BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Canardly on April 22, 2017, 11:45:50 am
Europe comes first in Free Trade Agreement with USA. Quelle Surprise!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on May 04, 2017, 12:09:29 pm
BONG!

Old man going to be doing less than he used to.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on May 04, 2017, 12:59:16 pm
You beat me to it!

Decides to wind down one month short of 96.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 08, 2017, 10:48:48 am
BONG! ... Woman drives car (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/08/queen-spotted-driving-jaguar-back-church/) ... BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Legs on May 08, 2017, 03:04:54 pm
BONG! People get hurt when you punch them (http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/boxing/39834817) BONG!

(click to show/hide)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on May 08, 2017, 04:41:35 pm
BONG! ... Woman drives car[/url ... BONG!
 (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/08/queen-spotted-driving-jaguar-back-church/)

What. The. Fuck. ?

Seriously...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on May 08, 2017, 04:44:12 pm
BONG! ... Woman drives car[/url ... BONG!
 (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/08/queen-spotted-driving-jaguar-back-church/)

What. The. Fuck. ?

Seriously...


And they didn't even make a reference to... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/23/queen-elizabeth-king-abdullah-driving-story_n_6533236.html
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 08, 2017, 05:10:20 pm
BONG! ... Woman drives car[/url ... BONG!
 (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/08/queen-spotted-driving-jaguar-back-church/)

What. The. Fuck. ?

Seriously...


And they didn't even make a reference to... http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/01/23/queen-elizabeth-king-abdullah-driving-story_n_6533236.html
And that's actually a good story!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Ben T on May 09, 2017, 10:22:08 am
BONG Boy gets lost in crops (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-39844625) BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on May 10, 2017, 09:04:14 pm
People pee in street after council shuts toilets.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-39870779 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-dorset-39870779)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Bledlow on May 10, 2017, 11:56:48 pm
I've used those toilets!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on May 10, 2017, 11:59:26 pm
I used a toilet today which contained (amongst other things) a poster warning BloodyStudents not to pee in the street.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on May 11, 2017, 07:39:49 pm
IMO pissing in the street is gross but removing toilets in a location where people may have to wait for up to an hour is asking for trouble.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 11, 2017, 07:42:47 pm
Many city centres nowadays have pop up toilets, which rise up out of the pavement after a certain time in the evening to allow street-pissing in a urinal. Mostly, I imagine, by men who may or may not be drunk.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on May 11, 2017, 07:52:08 pm
Indeed but the Sandbanks ferry is at the  tip of a peninsula.
Never seen a 'NO INFILTRATING' sign before.


https://www.google.co.uk/maps/search/sandbanks+ferry/@50.6763431,-1.9522348,3a,37.5y,270h,90t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sZl-7g2lh1Gk717e5n0Kngw!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo1.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3DZl-7g2lh1Gk717e5n0Kngw%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D45.106476%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i13312!8i6656 (https://www.google.co.uk/maps/search/sandbanks+ferry/@50.6763431,-1.9522348,3a,37.5y,270h,90t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sZl-7g2lh1Gk717e5n0Kngw!2e0!6s%2F%2Fgeo1.ggpht.com%2Fcbk%3Fpanoid%3DZl-7g2lh1Gk717e5n0Kngw%26output%3Dthumbnail%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26thumb%3D2%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D45.106476%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i13312!8i6656)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 11, 2017, 08:07:33 pm
More syllables than filtering therefore more official.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Redjeep! on May 11, 2017, 08:41:30 pm
BONG! ... Woman drives car (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/08/queen-spotted-driving-jaguar-back-church/) ... BONG!

As somebody who's only visited the UK sporadically for the past 20 years or so, when did the Telegraph become such a rag ?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on May 12, 2017, 01:41:05 pm
Picturesque village full of cars just like everywhere else: http://www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/surrey-news/tried-take-pretty-pictures-villages-13019703
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on May 12, 2017, 04:20:45 pm
Shere Kah.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 12, 2017, 04:57:38 pm
(https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/dc/Becque_-_Livre_de_la_jungle%2C_p27.jpeg/200px-Becque_-_Livre_de_la_jungle%2C_p27.jpeg)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 12, 2017, 04:58:20 pm
BONG! ... Woman drives car (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/08/queen-spotted-driving-jaguar-back-church/) ... BONG!

As somebody who's only visited the UK sporadically for the past 20 years or so, when did the Telegraph become such a rag ?
Sometime between 1999 and 2010. I can't be more specific for the same reasons as you.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 12, 2017, 04:58:38 pm
Picturesque village full of cars just like everywhere else: http://www.getsurrey.co.uk/news/surrey-news/tried-take-pretty-pictures-villages-13019703
Good – and slightly surprising – they notice though.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on May 20, 2017, 11:40:39 am
BONG! People get married.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on June 21, 2017, 12:18:04 am
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cambridgeshire-40348161/roads-in-cambridgeshire-and-norfolk-start-to-melt-in-hot-weather

Is it me, or does that video show someone drawing a CDC in melting tarmac?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ElyDave on June 21, 2017, 07:48:07 am
I stopped and checked my bike on Sunday because I was hearing some strange noises.

I concluded that it was the heat affecting the tarmac - it was 33+C at that point
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Butterfly on June 21, 2017, 10:01:24 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-cambridgeshire-40348161/roads-in-cambridgeshire-and-norfolk-start-to-melt-in-hot-weather

Is it me, or does that video show someone drawing a CDC in melting tarmac?

 ;D  You've been here too long...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on June 22, 2017, 02:08:28 pm
BONG!... (BBC..who else?)

Jay Z has changed the spelling of his name again - this time to JAY-Z

FYI Wowbagger, Jay-Z...actually now JAY-Z, is one of those Black talky-singer chaps from America.  You know, like an effy-jeffy Wordsworth - "I wandered lonely as a muthafuckin cloud.."
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on June 23, 2017, 02:10:06 pm
From the Independent: Banksy's true identity 'accidentally revealed by Goldie'
From the Telegraph: RevealedThe identity of Question Time audience member kicked off the show by angry David Dimbleby
=> David Dimbleby is Banksy! 
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Legs on July 17, 2017, 04:42:20 pm
Woman is stupid (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-40630852)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on July 20, 2017, 09:22:12 am
BONG!.......Someone lightly touches Queen's elbow

BBC -
Quote
Canada's governor general in protocol breach with Queen
Canada's Governor General David Johnston has said a "slippy" carpet was to blame for an apparent breach of royal etiquette with the Queen.
He was seen to be lightly touching the Queen's elbow as she descended some steps, during an event in London to mark Canada's 150th birthday.
"I was just anxious to be sure there was no stumbling on the steps," he told CBC News.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on July 30, 2017, 01:43:17 pm
Welsh person has satellite internet connection
(Television broadcaster demonstrates general ignorance of geostationary satellites) (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-mid-wales-40745533)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jakob W on July 30, 2017, 03:22:01 pm
I'm unclear from that story what the 'via a company in Luxembourg' means; do they mean the ISP is based there?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on July 30, 2017, 03:28:55 pm
I'm unclear from that story what the 'via a company in Luxembourg' means; do they mean the ISP is based there?

I think so.

The headline linking to the story was "Welsh man gets internet from Africa", which is clearly ridiculous.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Feanor on July 31, 2017, 05:51:17 pm
I'm unclear from that story what the 'via a company in Luxembourg' means; do they mean the ISP is based there?

Probably rubbish.

Presumably because SES Astra are based there.
Like saying you get you Sky TV from Luxembourg.

They don't retail anything to the public, they rent transponder space to service providers like Sky etc.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on August 02, 2017, 11:56:27 pm
Tip prone to massive queues has massive queue during bin strike (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-40806922)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on August 17, 2017, 12:50:28 am
Annual not news.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-40952125 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-40952125)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mrcharly-YHT on August 17, 2017, 09:52:14 am
Annual not news.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-40952125 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-40952125)
Actually it is the first rise the top grades in 6 years. But still not earth-shattering.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 01, 2017, 08:07:23 pm
BONG... Betting sites profit when gamblers lose... BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Nuncio on November 01, 2017, 01:13:17 pm
http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/business/biscuit-lover-stunned-to-find-plain-digestive-in-milk-chocolate-pack-1-8224342 (http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/business/biscuit-lover-stunned-to-find-plain-digestive-in-milk-chocolate-pack-1-8224342)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on November 01, 2017, 01:43:08 pm
http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/business/biscuit-lover-stunned-to-find-plain-digestive-in-milk-chocolate-pack-1-8224342 (http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/business/biscuit-lover-stunned-to-find-plain-digestive-in-milk-chocolate-pack-1-8224342)

ADMIN!!!!!!

Surely belongs in the "News from The Provinces" thread  >:(

(where it will be fully appreciated :) )
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: spesh on November 01, 2017, 01:48:26 pm
Must be a quiet news day even by the Pompey News' standards . ;D
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 09, 2017, 05:50:59 pm
Woman makes understandable mistake due to ambiguously-worded instructions (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41928752)

I remember putting "Current Plus" or similar in the name field the first time I filled in a standing order mandate form, on the basis that the company I was dealing with already knew who I was, and wanted details of my bank account.  Same principle.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Redlight on November 10, 2017, 08:01:48 am
Woman makes understandable mistake due to ambiguously-worded instructions (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-41928752)

I remember putting "Current Plus" or similar in the name field the first time I filled in a standing order mandate form, on the basis that the company I was dealing with already knew who I was, and wanted details of my bank account.  Same principle.

The fact that she is a teacher explains a lot about USAnians' understanding of the world.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on November 10, 2017, 04:10:30 pm
This is a bit like answering "yes please" when a form asks for sex.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: madcow on November 10, 2017, 05:56:45 pm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41939115 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-41939115)

more newsworthy would be "John Lewis scraps Christmas ad and gives money to Shelter ,Age UK and  Sally Army."
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on November 10, 2017, 06:29:50 pm
http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/business/biscuit-lover-stunned-to-find-plain-digestive-in-milk-chocolate-pack-1-8224342 (http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/business/biscuit-lover-stunned-to-find-plain-digestive-in-milk-chocolate-pack-1-8224342)

ADMIN!!!!!!

Surely belongs in the "News from The Provinces" thread  >:(

(where it will be fully appreciated :) )

I love the fact they were "stunned" by the discovery.  That used to require expensive Phaser technology.

Kirk - "Set Chocolate Digestives to Stun"
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: trekker12 on November 17, 2017, 01:22:28 pm
'Dog Owners have 33% lower risk of death, study finds'

According to the BBC front page (Lifestyle section) get a dog and you stand a good chance of living forever!

https://www.bbc.co.uk/

(they fixed the headline in the main article)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on January 18, 2018, 07:54:40 pm
Balding man shaves head (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-42737259)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on February 16, 2018, 12:54:04 am
Sex makes babies.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-43058389 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-43058389)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on March 20, 2018, 03:04:15 am
Easter eggs have much packaging.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-43460018 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-43460018)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 20, 2018, 06:30:04 pm
Thousands of miles of UK roads in poor condition (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-43407167)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 20, 2018, 07:13:32 pm
Thousands of miles of UK roads in poor condition (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-43407167)
Probably an example of official stats confirming the obvious. At least, if anything is done about it.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Canardly on March 21, 2018, 09:35:43 am
Shoplifting doubles. Austerity causes hardship perhaps?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/03/20/reports-shoplifting-convenience-stores-double-year/ (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/03/20/reports-shoplifting-convenience-stores-double-year/)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Polar Bear on March 21, 2018, 09:47:03 am
I'd be interested in the amount of fraud directly attributable to contactless payments.   The banks seem reluctant to share this information.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on March 21, 2018, 10:01:11 am
I'd be interested in the amount of fraud directly attributable to contactless payments.   The banks seem reluctant to share this information.
Just as they are reluctant to share the amount of fraud attributable to chip and pin. The main reason they pay up so easily when your card gets cloned is because they don't want taking to court and be forced to share this information. The charitable view is that they don't want confidence in the products knocking, the less charitable view is they don't want saddling with the costs associated with a) strengthening the systems, b) providing alternative systems and support for people who refuse to use chip and pin.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Ben T on March 27, 2018, 03:15:26 pm
BONG - woman gets new phone! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-43554205 BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on March 27, 2018, 03:38:48 pm
No specifics. Estate Agents are lying bastards.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on March 27, 2018, 09:17:41 pm
My Twitter feed informs me that the Daily Mail has seen fit to report that cops on duty for the Boat Race ate hot dogs for lunch before the event.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rafletcher on March 28, 2018, 11:42:29 am
My Twitter feed informs me that the Daily Mail has seen fit to report that cops on duty for the Boat Race ate hot dogs for lunch before the event.

Which brings to mind the photograph of a Gendarme with his officially sanctioned wine on a lunch break whilst armed and on riot duty.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Graeme on April 09, 2018, 12:10:23 pm
Bong... Unidentified object not identified.... Bong.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-us-canada-42405205/ufo-spotted-by-us-fighter-jet-pilots-new-footage-reveals
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on April 11, 2018, 02:34:42 pm
Bong! 'Offensive' street NOT renamed.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-43723897 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-43723897)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on April 11, 2018, 02:45:21 pm
Bong! 'Offensive' street NOT renamed.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-43723897 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-43723897)

You mean I rode there (https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=63770.msg2246982#msg2246982) for nothing?  Bah!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on April 12, 2018, 12:22:41 am
Celebrity You've Never Heard Of Says She Made Bad Decision (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-43711187)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on April 12, 2018, 12:26:54 am
Unnecessary cosmetic procedures have their downsides.
Deal with it and grow up!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on April 12, 2018, 08:17:10 am
Leaky bum time.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on April 12, 2018, 01:42:00 pm
Leaky bum time.
It usually only takes a dodgy curry or something to cause that.

I’m still trying to work out why anyone would,want a bigger backside?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on April 12, 2018, 03:26:53 pm
Same reason people want slugs where their eyebrows used to be? Or tramp stamps. Or a trout pout etc. etc.

Wretched, isn't it . . . ?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on April 12, 2018, 04:12:07 pm
Leaky bum time.
It usually only takes a dodgy curry or something to cause that.

I’m still trying to work out why anyone would,want a bigger backside?

AIUI the victim felt ladies with bigger bums got more money...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on April 12, 2018, 05:11:26 pm
Former Council leader is a lying shit (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-43740936)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on April 18, 2018, 06:34:56 pm
>>> BONGGGGG Airline pilot does job she was trained to do (http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-43804253) BONGGGGG <<<
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on April 18, 2018, 06:37:25 pm
>>> BONGGGGG Airline pilot does job she was trained to do (http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-43804253) BONGGGGG <<<

If she'd had a sense of humour she'd have used the intercom to ask, "Is there anyone on board who can fly a plane?".  Wasted opportunity for a bit of a giggle.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on April 18, 2018, 07:12:53 pm
To be fair, I'd have pulled the eject lever and have been long gone.

The last time I was in a plane that had an unscheduled depressurization we had to land in El Paso. Which is I suspect the only reason we got back on the spare plane to continue our journey.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Giraffe on April 19, 2018, 09:34:43 am
All the reports (well, headlines) I've seen re. that say that the passenger was sucked out - even a Merkin (Mr. Spock - does that count?) knew better.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on April 23, 2018, 01:49:25 pm
92 year old woman's dog died

AND

Woman gives birth - and people lose their shit over it.


^^^Shit like this is why the aliens won't talk to us!^^^
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on April 23, 2018, 01:51:16 pm
>>> BONGGGGG Woman gives birth (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-43864933) BONGGGGG <<<

Edit: XP with Torslanda
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Graeme on April 23, 2018, 03:04:32 pm
Bong.  Nuclear bomb would devastate Hull (https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/what-would-happen-nuclear-bomb-1485554). Bong.

Actually, I'd like to disagree. We'd buy it a beer, some chips with chip spice, and invite it back to ours. #CityOfCulture

Mind you, if it didn't enjoy a night out at Spiders or the Welly, or if it says anything disrespectful about Hull, it might regret coming here.

Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Legs on April 23, 2018, 03:40:12 pm
Mmmmm, chip spice...  It's got to be from Yankee Burger!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on April 23, 2018, 03:50:36 pm
Bong.  Nuclear bomb would devastate Hull (https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/what-would-happen-nuclear-bomb-1485554). Bong.

Actually, I'd like to disagree. We'd buy it a beer, some chips with chip spice, and invite it back to ours. #CityOfCulture

Mind you, if it didn't enjoy a night out at Spiders or the Welly, or if it says anything disrespectful about Hull, it might regret coming here.

How would anyone know if a nuclear bomb had gone off in Hull?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Wowbagger on April 23, 2018, 03:53:41 pm
Here's a small defence of Hull.

I went there a couple of time when I worked at HMCE. I was agreeably surprised at how clean and neat everything was.

This was almost 25 years ago.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Graeme on April 23, 2018, 03:57:31 pm
Bong.  Nuclear bomb would devastate Hull (https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/what-would-happen-nuclear-bomb-1485554). Bong.

Actually, I'd like to disagree. We'd buy it a beer, some chips with chip spice, and invite it back to ours. #CityOfCulture

Mind you, if it didn't enjoy a night out at Spiders or the Welly, or if it says anything disrespectful about Hull, it might regret coming here.

How would anyone know if a nuclear bomb had gone off in Hull?

Because we'd have claimed it was a Banksy and made national headlines when someone ruined it. Then we'd have gone down the old town for a pint anyway. Fixing up someone's house on the way. *Hull for Heroes* :)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 23, 2018, 03:59:25 pm
Bong.  Nuclear bomb would devastate Hull (https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/what-would-happen-nuclear-bomb-1485554). Bong.

Actually, I'd like to disagree. We'd buy it a beer, some chips with chip spice, and invite it back to ours. #CityOfCulture

Mind you, if it didn't enjoy a night out at Spiders or the Welly, or if it says anything disrespectful about Hull, it might regret coming here.

How would anyone know if a nuclear bomb had gone off in Hull?

Because we'd have claimed it was a Banksy and made national headlines when someone ruined it. Then we'd have gone down the old town for a pint anyway. Fixing up someone's house on the way. *Hull for Heroes* :)
If you've got Banksy up in Hull now, can we have Larkin here in Bristol?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on April 23, 2018, 04:01:12 pm
Here's a small defence of Hull....

.... It's also no worse than many other provincial cities (Stoke springs instantly to mind).

I'm originally from Stockport which, whilst not a city, is the size of many provincial cities and, last time looked downtown, was bloody awful and in need of a thermo-nuclear cleanup.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Canardly on April 23, 2018, 04:07:38 pm
Before they put that bloody great motorway through the middle of it , Stockport used to be quite a pleasant place to stroll around.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Graeme on April 23, 2018, 04:29:13 pm
Bong.  Nuclear bomb would devastate Hull (https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/what-would-happen-nuclear-bomb-1485554). Bong.

Actually, I'd like to disagree. We'd buy it a beer, some chips with chip spice, and invite it back to ours. #CityOfCulture

Mind you, if it didn't enjoy a night out at Spiders or the Welly, or if it says anything disrespectful about Hull, it might regret coming here.

How would anyone know if a nuclear bomb had gone off in Hull?

Because we'd have claimed it was a Banksy and made national headlines when someone ruined it. Then we'd have gone down the old town for a pint anyway. Fixing up someone's house on the way. *Hull for Heroes* :)
If you've got Banksy up in Hull now, can we have Larkin here in Bristol?

You've got Tricky, Portishead and PJ Harvey. We've got The Housemartins. That's Bristol 3 Hull 1 ... Back off our Larkin.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on April 23, 2018, 06:33:21 pm
>>> BONGGGGG Woman gives birth (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-43864933) BONGGGGG <<<

Edit: XP with Torslanda
I want them to give it a chav name like Duwayne or Jaz.  Failing that, Keith.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 23, 2018, 06:37:50 pm
Bong.  Nuclear bomb would devastate Hull (https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/what-would-happen-nuclear-bomb-1485554). Bong.

Actually, I'd like to disagree. We'd buy it a beer, some chips with chip spice, and invite it back to ours. #CityOfCulture

Mind you, if it didn't enjoy a night out at Spiders or the Welly, or if it says anything disrespectful about Hull, it might regret coming here.

How would anyone know if a nuclear bomb had gone off in Hull?

Because we'd have claimed it was a Banksy and made national headlines when someone ruined it. Then we'd have gone down the old town for a pint anyway. Fixing up someone's house on the way. *Hull for Heroes* :)
If you've got Banksy up in Hull now, can we have Larkin here in Bristol?

You've got Tricky, Portishead and PJ Harvey. We've got The Housemartins. That's Bristol 3 Hull 1 ... Back off our Larkin.
I didn't know PJ Harvey had any Bristol connection. I think I might have been vaguely aware Banksy had some sort of Hull link. I'm not that much of a fan of either of them really – I'll stick with Tricky, Portishead and the Housemartins!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on April 23, 2018, 07:00:46 pm
>>> BONGGGGG Woman gives birth (http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-43864933) BONGGGGG <<<

Edit: XP with Torslanda
I want them to give it a chav name like Duwayne or Jaz.  Failing that, Keith.

I seriously hope they don't go with Naseem Hamed or he'll forever get confused with the Boxer, Prince Naseem Hamed.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on April 23, 2018, 08:03:08 pm
I have a summer dress featuring a Liberty print very similar to that seen on Princess Charlotte in NOT news today.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 23, 2018, 08:05:55 pm
I have a summer dress featuring a Liberty print very similar to that seen on Princess Charlotte in NOT news today.
Is this the Tenuous Claims to NOT Fame thread?  :D
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on April 23, 2018, 08:10:11 pm
I don't know.

A spring summer print with a white background and bluebell/green floral print suited me when I bought it.

About 25 years ago...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on April 23, 2018, 08:23:51 pm
Male Royal baby pops out on St George's Day.

There is ONE name child cannot be given...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on April 23, 2018, 08:47:59 pm
Male Royal baby pops out on St George's Day.

There is ONE name child cannot be given...
Name him Draco, after the dragon?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Nuncio on April 23, 2018, 09:12:04 pm
Man eats meal.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-5647871/Raheem-Sterling-treats-spot-breakfast-day-PFA-awards.html (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-5647871/Raheem-Sterling-treats-spot-breakfast-day-PFA-awards.html)

For those not wishing click, the headline is
Quote
Raheem Sterling treats himself to a spot of breakfast after missing out on being crowned Young Player of the Year the night before at PFA awards
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: LEE on April 26, 2018, 03:25:18 pm
Male Royal baby pops out on St George's Day.

There is ONE name child cannot be given...

George Foreman named all 5 of his sons George.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on April 26, 2018, 03:30:05 pm
Male Royal baby pops out on St George's Day.

There is ONE name child cannot be given...

George Foreman named all 5 of his sons George.
George Oneman
George Twoman
George ThreeMan
George Foreman Junior
and George Fiveman?  ;D
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on April 27, 2018, 08:29:14 pm
Louis isn't a bad name.  I liked this, though:

https://twitter.com/WelshDalaiLama/status/989812887597305856?s=20
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on April 27, 2018, 09:02:32 pm
'Buster' would've been better.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on April 27, 2018, 09:43:32 pm
Or "Austin", in view of his surname.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Basil on April 28, 2018, 12:06:49 am
Louis Armstrong Charles?

WTF?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: rogerzilla on April 28, 2018, 08:44:15 am
Probably after the Armstrongs in the family rather than the deceased gravelly-voiced trumpet player.  If it was the latter, it will further wind up those who think the Royal Family should be Aryan and pure.  Even if Meghan is barely latte-hued.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on April 28, 2018, 02:08:31 pm
Not the guy with the bike?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 28, 2018, 02:48:43 pm
Or the bloke that went to the moon.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 28, 2018, 02:52:54 pm
Or they could have called him 6469, (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/6469_Armstrong) which sounds like a Maytals song.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on April 28, 2018, 03:14:10 pm
I'd have gone for Louis Arthur Charles

It has class, history, and a nod to our greatest living sportsman.
(click to show/hide)


Not sure how these fuckwits picked anything different  :facepalm:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 28, 2018, 05:50:39 pm
?
https://youtu.be/4V1p1dM3snQ
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Peter on April 28, 2018, 07:11:17 pm
I'd have gone for Louis Arthur Charles

It has class, history, and a nod to our greatest living sportsman.
(click to show/hide)


Not sure how these fuckwits picked anything different  :facepalm:

Bliney, Matt - only a day after it was announced - how do you do it?!  And what's Daley Thompson got to do with it?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on April 28, 2018, 08:20:52 pm
I'd have gone for Louis Arthur Charles

It has class, history, and a nod to our greatest living sportsman.
(click to show/hide)


Not sure how these fuckwits picked anything different  :facepalm:

Bliney, Matt - only a day after it was announced - how do you do it?!  And what's Daley Thompson got to do with it?
I should have been clearer - greatest ACTIVE sportsman. Sorry. (and no offence meant to Daley fans  :( )

And the above should be read in conjunction with:

Louis Armstrong Charles?

WTF?

All perfectly logical!!!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Peter on April 28, 2018, 08:23:40 pm
Daley always has a twinkle in his eye......
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on April 28, 2018, 10:55:40 pm
Who is the bloke in mattc’s post?

Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on April 30, 2018, 08:24:41 am
BONG Amber Rudd has Resigned BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on April 30, 2018, 09:43:21 am
The problem is that it takes you that long to resign, it's quite clear you don't understand why you're resigning. These people can't even resign competently.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on May 07, 2018, 03:56:22 pm
Bournemouth beach busy on blistering Bank Holiday.
http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/16208843.100_000_people_flock_to_Bournemouth_beach_for_bank_holiday/?ref=mr&lp=1 (http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/16208843.100_000_people_flock_to_Bournemouth_beach_for_bank_holiday/?ref=mr&lp=1)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on June 10, 2018, 12:58:06 pm
Tea towels are buggy.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-44401330 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-44401330)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on July 18, 2018, 11:50:53 pm
First spaceport will not be in Snowdonia (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-44840963)

Well obviously, any fule knows that BRITISH space launches should take place from a SEEKRIT BUNKER on the Isle of Wight.


(Frankly, I'm disappointed that this isn't an article about Lord Buckethead doing a U-turn on his policy about the redevelopment of Birmingham.)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on July 19, 2018, 10:01:04 am
First spaceport will not be in Snowdonia (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-44840963)

Well obviously, any fule knows that BRITISH space launches should take place from a SEEKRIT BUNKER on the Isle of Wight.


(Frankly, I'm disappointed that this isn't an article about Lord Buckethead doing a U-turn on his policy about the redevelopment of Birmingham.)
We've already got a Spaceport here at Adastral Park on the blasted heath of Martlesham in the desolate wilds of the Angles of the East.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: sg37409 on August 30, 2018, 01:46:15 pm
Queensferry Crossing 'more reliable' than old Forth bridge (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-45343321)

read all about it !
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: pcolbeck on September 09, 2018, 09:13:04 pm
Royal Navy saliors get drunk on shore leave and annoy locals:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/sep/09/royal-navy-sailors-held-in-us-over-drunken-behaviour
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on September 14, 2018, 09:35:28 am
Passports have an expiry date. Remarkable!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Steph on September 14, 2018, 12:53:19 pm
Passports have an expiry date. Remarkable!
The utter piece of crap that is a Greek ID card often doesn't.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on September 14, 2018, 03:26:10 pm
Royal Navy saliors get drunk on shore leave and annoy locals:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2018/sep/09/royal-navy-sailors-held-in-us-over-drunken-behaviour

Early in the morning?

Put him in the longboat till he's sober!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on September 17, 2018, 10:59:37 pm
Peach tree bears fruit a few years after planting.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-45552572 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-45552572)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on September 18, 2018, 04:28:18 pm
Peach tree bears fruit a few years after planting.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-45552572 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-45552572)

Jeez Helly ... have you ever heard of romance?  ::-)

You may not be impressed by the story, but don't piss on their parade.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on September 18, 2018, 06:20:37 pm
Of course I've heard of romance! I sleep under the bear I gave David for Valentine's Day in 2003b(it's on the light's pull-cord over the bed) every night I'm home but I don't share this with the whole wide world!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on September 18, 2018, 06:29:44 pm
I planted a cherry tree at our last place for our wedding anniversary. Finally, the summer before we moved, it produced it's first and precisely one juicy cherry. As I pointed out this exciting fact to my beloved a fat blackbird landed on the branch and ate it.

We should have dug it up and taken it with us. You can't beat romance with a shovel. Though if you do, bury and deny everything.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on September 18, 2018, 08:35:49 pm
I planted a cherry tree at our last place for our wedding anniversary.

*** BONG ***  !
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: orienteer on September 29, 2018, 02:40:37 pm

https://www.standard.co.uk/tech/uk-households-smart-speaker-argos-a3947736.html (https://www.standard.co.uk/tech/uk-households-smart-speaker-argos-a3947736.html)

Well, you can't eat a speaker.  :demon:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on September 29, 2018, 03:47:44 pm

https://www.standard.co.uk/tech/uk-households-smart-speaker-argos-a3947736.html (https://www.standard.co.uk/tech/uk-households-smart-speaker-argos-a3947736.html)

Well, you can't eat a speaker.  :demon:
Do you think that’s why?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on October 15, 2018, 03:07:44 pm
Previously divorced woman gets pregnant.

Media loses its collective shit.

***HOT POOP*** Being pregnant makes you tired. Woman will be forced to travel home from South Pacific.

I know. Didn't even register on the 'Giveashitometer'...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on October 15, 2018, 05:36:06 pm
Front page of the Sunday Times. Big photo:

<c-list comedian caught kissing Strictly dance partner - girlfriend v cross.>

And my favourite bit:
"... Continued in NEWS p3"

yup, in the NEWS section  :facepalm:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on October 17, 2018, 01:55:02 pm
Small boy touches man's beard (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45885197)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on October 18, 2018, 09:21:46 am
Small boy touches man's beard (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45885197)

It's in the BBC charter* that at least one heart-warming royal story must be prominent at all times on the BBC News website.





*Or not.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on October 18, 2018, 01:28:31 pm
I preferred the old days when this article (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4313978.stm) had to be on the front page at all times.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: CAMRAMan on October 19, 2018, 10:38:01 am
Couple walk barefoot on a beach. Who'd've thought it! (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-45908669)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Legs on October 25, 2018, 09:25:54 pm
Sleazy old man is a sleazy old man. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-45981436)
Who'd a thunk it?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on October 27, 2018, 02:17:17 pm
It is the last weekend in October.
The clocks are going back tonight.
The news meeja are full of features about this.
Again.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on October 27, 2018, 05:44:47 pm
It is the last weekend in October.
The clocks are going back tonight.
The news meeja are full of features about this.
Again.

If you're in need of any more info, this might be helpful:

https://e-activist.com/ea-campaign/action.handleViewInBrowser.do?ea.campaigner.email=wlnCUfEGjKpRVK1ix8hvOqANvnaq0uG%2B&broadcastId=258050&templateId=235371
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 04, 2018, 12:17:58 am
Daleks mess up sound on low-budget talent show (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-46086895)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 05, 2018, 11:47:19 am
Teen called lesbian for playing football (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-46074539)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 14, 2018, 10:05:09 am
BONG... Woman opens Coca-Cola can (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/sealed-empty-coca-cola-can-2211782) BONG...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 14, 2018, 10:05:33 am
BONG... Old man sits on bench with grandchildren BONG...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on November 14, 2018, 10:42:02 am
BONG... Woman opens Coca-Cola can (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/sealed-empty-coca-cola-can-2211782) BONG...

I guess it takes someone special to not know it was empty before opening it.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Greenbank on November 14, 2018, 10:53:19 am
Maybe she thought it was (https://www.theliquorshop.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Coke-Light.jpg)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on December 31, 2018, 06:02:54 pm
Some people on the planet begin their day before the UK. Apparently it's already New Year. Yawn, yawn,yawn...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on December 31, 2018, 06:58:14 pm
Some people on the planet begin their day before the UK. Apparently it's already New Year. Yawn, yawn,yawn...
as of 18:30 more than 50% of the earths population had moved into 2019. Troo fax
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Andrij on January 01, 2019, 09:09:27 am
Some people on the planet begin their day before the UK. Apparently it's already New Year. Yawn, yawn,yawn...
as of 18:30 more than 50% of the earths population had moved into 2019. Troo fax

There's an xkcd (https://xkcd.com/2092/) for that...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on January 01, 2019, 02:30:17 pm
People swim outdoors on winter Bank Holidays.

[FAR too many instances for any URL]
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Basil on January 01, 2019, 04:27:24 pm
Bong bong  bong bong bong bong bong bong bong bong bong bong
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on January 01, 2019, 07:03:33 pm
Some people on the planet begin their day before the UK. Apparently it's already New Year. Yawn, yawn,yawn...

Now I must admit I do find that one slightly irksome! I think it's because the reports always make it sounds like the Kiwis (et al) have won some sort of race  :facepalm:

On the other hand:

People swim outdoors on winter Bank Holidays.

[FAR too many instances for any URL]
Now, I find coverage of winter swims quite entertaining - a worthy appearance in the "And finally ... " slots. Events don't need to surprise me to interest (or entertain me) :)

Where would you draw the line; not reporting elections where the strong favourite won?? :)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on January 01, 2019, 07:38:24 pm
Dips in the sea and Serpentine happen EVERY year, as do A Level results.
Elections are a bit more unusual, even if predictable.

The sun rises every day.
The sun will rise on the summer solstice.
This event at Stonehenge will be 'news' again.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on January 02, 2019, 09:17:57 am
If it's a slow news day, then I for one would appreciate a really good sunrise photo. :)

Just as I'm happy to see beautiful wildlife photos in a newspaper - they are NOTHING TO DO WITH NEWS, but they please me.

Perhaps the distinction is that they are fairly new photos - just as the pictures of icy swims should be from this year's dip!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on January 11, 2019, 11:18:48 pm
YouGov survey: British sarcasm 'lost on Americans' (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-46846467)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on January 18, 2019, 01:43:38 pm
Man horrified after reading ingredients on pot noodle (https://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/news/17366552.grandads-alcoholic-pot-noodle-horror/)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on January 18, 2019, 01:53:34 pm
I've got a huge bottle of soy sauce (1.5l IIRC).

Gonna drink it tonight and report back tomorrow... *
















*May contain traces of lie
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 18, 2019, 05:50:51 pm
BONG... A place calling itself a massage parlour was actually a brothel... BONG

https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/butterflys-weston-brothel-madam-jailed-2444224
Including the classic line:
Quote
...the policemen made their excuses and left.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on January 18, 2019, 06:23:34 pm
I've got a huge bottle of soy sauce (1.5l IIRC).

Gonna drink it tonight and report back tomorrow... *


I'll give you better odds of getting drunk than with Miller Genuine Draft.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Graeme on January 20, 2019, 12:27:03 pm
BONG...

One of two people playing tennis lost to the other one.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/tennis/46937398

BONG.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on January 20, 2019, 01:34:35 pm
Are you interested in tennis, Graeme? Or indeed other sport?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on January 20, 2019, 01:41:30 pm
That one's an example of a story that's escaped from the sport section, hence qualifying for Not News status in the most boring way possible.  It's currently in 5th place on the BBC news home page between Prince Philip not wearing a seatbelt and a funeral for unknown Holocaust victims.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on January 20, 2019, 01:47:00 pm
Well Prince Philip not wearing a seatbelt is a proper Not News story!  Why wasn't I told about it in this thread?!?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 20, 2019, 01:49:19 pm
Never mind that, what about the occasions when Prince Philip was not not wearing a seatbelt!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on January 20, 2019, 01:51:23 pm
Never mind that, what about the occasions when Prince Philip was not not wearing a seatbelt!
A clear opportunity for some stats and some info-graphics. Perhaps in the monday editions when the proper journalists are back on duty? We can but hope!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on January 20, 2019, 01:52:21 pm
Never mind that, what about the occasions when Prince Philip was not not wearing a seatbelt!

I like to imagine those involved the Queen hooning around in a Landrover to practice for entertaining the Saudis.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 20, 2019, 01:55:44 pm
I think this needs a venn diagram to show, amongst other things, those instances when the Queen was not wearing a seatbelt and Prince Philip was not not wearing a seatbelt.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Graeme on January 20, 2019, 03:44:31 pm
Are you interested in tennis, Graeme? Or indeed other sport?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away... I was, in my youth, a member of Chesham Bois Lawn Tennis Club. Then I discovered I looked old enough to get served in most pubs, and that was Game, Set and Match for tennis.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Graeme on January 20, 2019, 03:46:15 pm
I think this needs a venn diagram to show, amongst other things, those instances when the Queen was not wearing a seatbelt and Prince Philip was not not wearing a seatbelt.

Perhaps with a factor for whether either of them were playing tennis at the time?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 20, 2019, 03:59:19 pm
I think this needs a venn diagram to show, amongst other things, those instances when the Queen was not wearing a seatbelt and Prince Philip was not not wearing a seatbelt.

Perhaps with a factor for whether either of them were playing tennis at the time?
A mixed doubles match against the Saudi royals?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on January 20, 2019, 04:33:12 pm
Phil the Greek has form for turning stuff over. His carriage rolling driving exploits have been well documented in the past. Conveniently I can't find any on 'tube...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on January 20, 2019, 05:42:31 pm
Are you interested in tennis, Graeme? Or indeed other sport?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away... I was, in my youth, a member of Chesham Bois Lawn Tennis Club. Then I discovered I looked old enough to get served in most pubs, and that was Game, Set and Match for tennis.
Well hopefully that exciting report from Auntie Beeb will have re-stimulated your interest. It really is a jolly exciting result!

;)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on January 20, 2019, 05:47:13 pm
I'd have thought a much read story about seat-belt wearing was a good thing in this era of 'f... the Highway Code' ...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on January 26, 2019, 10:17:39 pm
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-47013978
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on January 27, 2019, 08:36:09 am
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-47013978
that picture of him is scary.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 28, 2019, 11:05:11 am
He says "I can't believe this is my life." We say "I can't believe you make a career out of being a 19-year-old with middle-aged eyebrows and a cattle-ring through your nose."
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Efrogwr on January 28, 2019, 12:39:36 pm
He's really Troy Tempest.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Redlight on January 28, 2019, 01:04:11 pm
Not being the target market I am happy to say I'd never heard of him until a few minutes ago. But now I'm feeling nostalgic for Gok Wan.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on January 28, 2019, 01:07:04 pm
He's really Troy Tempest.
I think that Is an unfair comparison. Troy Tempest looks way more real,than that.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Ham on January 28, 2019, 01:15:44 pm
I just skimmed that article, and my interest wasn't raised sufficiently to delve, but dit anyone else notice the caption to the picture "Luke Strong told the BBC it took him over three hours to travel 0.8 miles" .... he has a sweatshirt with a bike on it.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on January 28, 2019, 01:24:51 pm
I did, but I was more struck by the fact that someone who does physical exercise for a living didn't just opt to get out and walk. It's Birmingham not Johannesburg.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 28, 2019, 01:37:13 pm
He's really Troy Tempest.
Well spotted resemblance.  :thumbsup:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: tiermat on January 28, 2019, 01:56:36 pm
He's really Troy Tempest.

I was thinking more Max Headroom
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: spesh on January 28, 2019, 01:59:31 pm
He's really Troy Tempest.

I was thinking more Max Headroom

Max Headroom looks more realistic as well.  :demon:
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Redlight on January 29, 2019, 02:41:20 pm
I did, but I was more struck by the fact that someone who does physical exercise for a living didn't just opt to get out and walk. It's Birmingham not Johannesburg.

As I understood it, he was driving and was stuck on a roundabout.  Probably not the best place to leave a car.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on January 29, 2019, 03:27:01 pm
I did, but I was more struck by the fact that someone who does physical exercise for a living didn't just opt to get out and walk. It's Birmingham not Johannesburg.

As I understood it, he was driving and was stuck on a roundabout.  Probably not the best place to leave a car.

Ah, I misread that he was a passenger. I'll let him off. But still, better by bike.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on February 05, 2019, 08:57:10 pm
Man who fabricates things for a living turns out to be a fabricator (https://www.theguardian.com/books/2019/feb/05/bestselling-author-of-the-woman-at-the-window-lied-about-having-cancer).
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 10, 2019, 11:44:35 pm
BONG!... Apes which live in trees can climb... BONG!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-47190443
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on February 10, 2019, 11:54:18 pm
BONG!... Apes which live in trees can climb... BONG!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-47190443

Apes can also hold cameras in landscape orientation...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on February 17, 2019, 01:45:38 pm
This one's literally not news, in that the article stops abruptly before getting to the point:  How Lidl learnt to be less German in the UK (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-47228817)

It's the sort of thing that I used to get into trouble for at primary school.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ElyDave on February 17, 2019, 01:58:01 pm
This one's literally not news, in that the article stops abruptly before getting to the point:  How Lidl learnt to be less German in the UK (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-47228817)

It's the sort of thing that I used to get into trouble for at primary school.

That is bizarrely absent of any kind of conclusion. Its almost like a teaser "come back next week for installment two"
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on February 17, 2019, 02:48:30 pm
This one's literally not news, in that the article stops abruptly before getting to the point:  How Lidl learnt to be less German in the UK (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-47228817)

It's the sort of thing that I used to get into trouble for at primary school.

That is bizarrely absent of any kind of conclusion. Its almost like a teaser "come back next week for installment two"

They appear to have added instalments 2-4.  (When I posted it, the article ended at the "Lidl in numbers" graphic.)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on February 19, 2019, 06:30:58 pm
BONG! .... It is too early to tell. BONG!...

Quote
However, Bristol Port has told Bristol Live that it is “too early to tell” how the Honda factory’s closure will impact them.
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/business/what-bristol-port-saying-honda-2561542
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on February 19, 2019, 06:45:45 pm
Well, Bristol Port head honchos were, I believe, ardent Brexiteers...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: orraloon on February 19, 2019, 07:17:18 pm
Well, Bristol Port head honchos were, I believe, ardent Brexiteers...
I thought the slave trade was, you know, in the past for Brissul?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on April 23, 2019, 12:12:52 am
BONG!  It's all in the URL...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-45650976/meghan-closes-a-car-door


(I've just noticed that's from September 2018.  But I reckon it's such important not-news that I'll leave this post here anyway.)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on April 23, 2019, 12:20:58 am
I think we commented at the time.

Royal watchers will have note the story was outdated by the lady's slighter waistline.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on May 06, 2019, 08:22:39 pm
A woman has given birth.

IJCBA linking to it...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: andrewc on May 06, 2019, 11:31:57 pm
https://twitter.com/campbellclaret/status/1125443316294799360?s=21 (https://twitter.com/campbellclaret/status/1125443316294799360?s=21)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: tiermat on May 10, 2019, 09:53:56 am
Bong

Man, who's wife has just given birth, goes to look at a new car.

Bong

I am with Tors regarding a link. Premise being that the Prince goes to Holland and looks at a Land Rover.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on May 10, 2019, 05:31:34 pm
Premise being that the Prince goes to Holland and looks at a Land Rover.
Surely a little red Corvette?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on May 11, 2019, 06:29:48 am
Despite being a two seater calling a Corvette 'little' is a total misrepresentation...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on May 11, 2019, 11:46:27 am
The current generation of Corvette, and the one before that too, are not large at all.  Beats me where they found space for a petrol tank, unless it's in hyperspace.

Though you can get a road bike (with the wheels off) in the back of a C7 ;D
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on May 12, 2019, 10:40:59 pm
BONG!  Baby has feet!
Title: BONG ..And Here is the Tedious Trope ... BONG
Post by: Jaded on May 12, 2019, 10:50:28 pm
Yeah,  Like bong.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on June 17, 2019, 08:02:03 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/jun/17/painted-bike-lanes-waste-money-cycling-commissioners
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: ian on June 17, 2019, 08:25:36 pm
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/jun/17/painted-bike-lanes-waste-money-cycling-commissioners

I think that's harsh. They make for a good place to park an automobile during the epic quest to purchase a lottery ticket.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: mattc on June 22, 2019, 12:47:30 pm
BONG!

Woman and man argue loudly for a bit.

BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Ben T on July 11, 2019, 11:34:13 pm
BONG!  Baby born!  (https://www.nottinghampost.com/news/local-news/midwife-delivers-granddaughter-sons-home-3071673)   BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on August 23, 2019, 06:58:36 pm
Small children look scruffy after day at school.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-49445515 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-49445515)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: tiermat on September 02, 2019, 07:28:59 am
Singer marries some posh bloke in a big church.

<sigh, I just can't summon up the energy >
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on September 19, 2019, 07:54:56 am
There is a link between the increase in organised crime and the reduction of spending on police forces.

And the government accepts the findings of the report that says so. So said a chap on the wireless this morning.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49745113 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-49745113)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on September 25, 2019, 10:50:42 pm
Police fail to refuel their car at end of shift, car later runs out of fuel while pursuing a suspect. (https://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/national/article235472972.html)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on October 25, 2019, 12:15:31 am
Council closes road to dig hole, drivers have to go another way (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-dorset-50166824/village-roadworks-in-dorset-create-41-mile-diversion)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 28, 2019, 01:50:44 pm
Gender reveal party goes wrong.  (https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/oct/28/woman-killed-explosion-iowa-gender-reveal-party)

Quote
One of the pioneers of the gender-reveal movement said in July that it was time to “re-evaluate” the practice and that her own daughter had begun to explore her gender and defy gender norms.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on October 28, 2019, 01:55:18 pm
Gender reveal party goes wrong.  (https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/oct/28/woman-killed-explosion-iowa-gender-reveal-party)

Not even in Florida...


Quote
One of the pioneers of the gender-reveal movement said in July that it was time to “re-evaluate” the practice and that her own daughter had begun to explore her gender and defy gender norms.

Is there a support group for people who've had this sort of thing happen?  I'm sure the woman who invented the term "incel" would be in good company.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on October 28, 2019, 01:59:45 pm
If you mean people who've started things which seemed like a good idea at the time but went wrong in other people's hands, haven't we all? Admittedly not on that scale...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 03, 2019, 05:55:45 pm
BONG! Nigel Farage isn't doing anything.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: TheLurker on November 03, 2019, 09:18:21 pm
BONG! Nigel Farage isn't doing anything.
Not even being an unnecessarily offensive and charmless oik?  Surely some mistake?
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: orraloon on November 03, 2019, 10:05:26 pm
BONG! Nigel Farage isn't doing anything.
Not even being an unnecessarily offensive and charmless oik?  Surely some mistake?
Yebbut.  Gets his fizzog #1 on the BBC news website all day. 
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Feanor on November 03, 2019, 10:12:40 pm
BONG! Nigel Farage isn't doing anything.
Not even being an unnecessarily offensive and charmless oik?  Surely some mistake?
Yebbut.  Gets his fizzog #1 on the BBC news website all day.

Nearly. Our own MP here, Mr. Tickle, gets some coverage too.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on November 12, 2019, 08:10:05 pm
BONG! People on the internet are using acronyms which have been around for decades. (https://www.theguardian.com/media/shortcuts/2019/nov/12/mumsnet-new-language-book-parenting-website-vocabulary-female-perspective#comment-135394803) BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 12, 2019, 08:34:42 pm
Ah, the good old days when Mumsnet was all skidmarks and penis beakers...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on November 14, 2019, 07:34:46 pm
My first job on completing my apprenticeship was in the Bradford Telex exchange with duties also including work on the Test desk. We used what many now consider text speak to,communicate with the field engineers when rheum were testing telex machines post service. This was back in 1981/2 and the old boys working in the field had been using it for years and years before. There’s nothing new under the sun.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: MattH on November 26, 2019, 07:00:35 am
BONG! Black Friday sales offer few real discounts (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-50551415)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 27, 2019, 12:15:41 am
BONG! Everything expensive at motorway service stations (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-50517170) BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 28, 2019, 04:09:26 pm
I know anything involving royals is a bit shooting fish in a barrel for this thread, but https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-50586488
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on December 14, 2019, 01:06:06 pm
BONG! https://yacf.co.uk/forum/index.php?topic=114289.0
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on December 18, 2019, 09:16:41 pm
Vegans should know of need for Vitamin B12 BONG!
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-50836442 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-50836442)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 18, 2019, 09:52:15 pm
BONG! Man doesn't leave child at home (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/shocking-moment-man-cycles-one-3656432) BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on December 18, 2019, 09:54:09 pm
BONG! ...Man takes money out of bank (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/christmas-market-police-coop-bank-3655696)... BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on January 01, 2020, 04:02:53 pm
....BONG.... Nothing to see here (https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/new-years-day-2020-eve-3695679) ....BONG....
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: hellymedic on January 04, 2020, 06:22:20 pm
Banknotes wear out, even plastic ones.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50989914 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50989914)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on January 09, 2020, 08:49:11 am
BONG! Early retirement for over-privileged, over-paid tape cutters.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Torslanda on January 20, 2020, 07:31:51 pm
BONG! Sportsball player is a shit driver (https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/51179661)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Ben T on January 23, 2020, 04:34:48 pm
BONG! Woman meets father! https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-51214537 BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Basil on February 07, 2020, 11:21:44 pm
BONG.  Person has sexual orientation preference. Bong.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on February 10, 2020, 09:43:57 am
BONG. Wintry conditions in Scotland in February. BONG.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-51434439 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-51434439)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on February 29, 2020, 10:41:31 pm
BONG! Person uses a pedestrian crossing (https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2020/feb/28/prince-harry-treads-in-beatles-footsteps-on-abbey-road-visit)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Pingu on February 29, 2020, 10:42:19 pm
BONG! Bloody Stupid Johnson impregnates someone.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on March 07, 2020, 01:17:02 pm
BONG!... Woman goes on holiday... (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cumbria-51782254) BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on March 19, 2020, 02:52:20 pm
BONG! It's a bit cold in Canada. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-us-canada-51953309/coronavirus-trudeau-grabs-coat-during-live-press-briefing) BONG!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Guy on April 03, 2020, 10:07:41 am
BONG Event which normally draws over 4 million visitors is cancelled BONG

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-52121586 (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-52121586)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: SoreTween on April 08, 2020, 07:16:43 am
BONG Regardless of the circumstances we can always rely on humans to be shits BONG

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-52188627
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Mr Larrington on April 08, 2020, 11:54:12 am
BONG Regardless of the circumstances we can always rely on humans to be shits BONG

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-52188627

Some crunt actually made a detour on his way out of the filling station at Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles the other day to dispose of a pair of same in the hedge by the air line >:(
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: MattH on April 12, 2020, 11:16:41 am
BONG Middle aged lady goes shopping in Waitrose and obeys the social distancing rule (https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/11374150/theresa-may-social-distancing-waitrose/)s BONG



(sorry for The Sun link, it came up in my news feed, honest)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on April 22, 2020, 09:21:07 am
If you shut shops sales (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-business-52375165) go down!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on April 22, 2020, 11:17:13 am
If you shut shops sales (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-business-52375165) go down!
Quote
Total sales dropped by 13% in comparison with March 2019, when they decreased by 3.7%, according to the SRC-KPMG retail sales monitor.
??? So sales were down 13% in March 2020 compared to the same month last year. And what does the 3.7% decrease refer to? March 2019 compared to 2018? Or what? It's a big secret.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Morat on April 22, 2020, 06:37:04 pm
If you shut shops sales (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-business-52375165) go down!
Quote
Total sales dropped by 13% in comparison with March 2019, when they decreased by 3.7%, according to the SRC-KPMG retail sales monitor.
??? So sales were down 13% in March 2020 compared to the same month last year. And what does the 3.7% decrease refer to? March 2019 compared to 2018? Or what? It's a big secret.

As you worked out, March last year was pretty pants compared with March 2018 but this year is really grim. As Expected :(
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: SoreTween on April 24, 2020, 08:56:38 pm
BONG Government adviser popular with the sitting government has a seat on a government advisory committee  (https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/apr/24/coronavirus-whos-who-on-secret-scientific-group-advising-uk-government-sage)BONG
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Jaded on April 24, 2020, 09:26:11 pm
If you shut shops sales (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-business-52375165) go down!
Quote
Total sales dropped by 13% in comparison with March 2019, when they decreased by 3.7%, according to the SRC-KPMG retail sales monitor.
??? So sales were down 13% in March 2020 compared to the same month last year. And what does the 3.7% decrease refer to? March 2019 compared to 2018? Or what? It's a big secret.

As you worked out, March last year was pretty pants compared with March 2018 but this year is really grim. As Expected :(

Easter fell right at the end of March in 2018. These things make a difference, and I'd expect Govt and BBC analysers to know that...
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on May 19, 2020, 12:31:53 am
Brummies[1] cause traffic jam (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-birmingham-52716476/tip-reopening-in-sutton-coldfield-leads-to-long-queues)

And I thought Lifford Lane was bad...


[1] Who are in advanced stages of denial about being Brummies.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Cudzoziemiec on July 21, 2020, 11:56:19 am
BONG... BONG... Bongs drive woman bonkers! BONG... BONG...
https://www.bristolpost.co.uk/news/bristol-news/woman-devastated-chimes-clock-tower-4343226
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: The French Tandem on July 31, 2020, 12:44:36 pm

Potatoes are cheaper than chips. (https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/annunziata-rees-mogg-potato-chip-tesco-food-poverty-a9646341.html) Really? Who knew?

A
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: SoreTween on November 03, 2020, 03:34:56 pm
If you buy 100 2nd hand USB drives off ebay and run file recovery software on them sometimes you recover files.

That, according to Tayside university, is worth a masters degree? (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-54779322)  FFS!
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 03, 2020, 04:44:06 pm
If you buy 100 2nd hand USB drives off ebay and run file recovery software on them sometimes you recover files.

That, according to Tayside university, is worth a masters degree? (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-54779322)  FFS!

University press office strikes again.  Looks like a perfectly reasonable (if uninspiring) student project to attempt to quantify user cluelessness about data security.  Possibly part of a larger thesis?  https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=3631441
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: SoreTween on November 04, 2020, 11:04:55 am
Thanks for the education on where to find such things.
Having read it in full it really doesn't feel worth a masters degree.  As an undergrad project I'd give it a Richard I suppose, certainly not a Desmond.  Masters is supposed to include original thinking (a step towards phd),  there's none in that.  Even the application of ethical considerations (one of the better parts of it) reads as if following a well worn path.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 04, 2020, 11:35:40 am
Yeah, it feels like it's a preliminary piece of work towards a larger project.  Maybe there's a COVID-19 factor and they had to cut down the scope at the last minute or something.  Or the press office was breathing down their necks for something with media appeal.  Or, in the style of my disastrous undergrad project, they grossly underestimated the amount of time it would take to analyse the contents of a hundred random flash drives (perhaps due to some unforeseen technical problem), and never got to the interesting bit.

Of course, the press don't care about academic merit.  And it is an important lesson for the people who won't learn from it.
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Kim on November 05, 2020, 10:23:58 pm
BONG!  People driving cars in Birmingham. (https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-54833769)
Title: Re: BONG ..And Here is the Not News..BONG
Post by: Beardy on November 17, 2020, 05:19:04 pm
BONG! Rich people cause air pollution (https://www.theguardian.com/business/2020/nov/17/people-cause-global-aviation-emissions-study-covid-19?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other)